Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Put a Sock in It
Episode Date: August 17, 2018The Shahs of Sunset get charitable this week and MJ plans her wedding from her couch. Hero. This week's bonus episode is about Ben's emotional journey through Italy. To hear it, become a Patr...eon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Garsh! tees only on sale through August at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to West Palm Beach, Atlanta and Denver! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappings!
The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on EO Bronze!
I'm Ronnie, I'm also on the Roseprix Bachelor Rost podcast, which is currently covering
Bachelor in Paradise, and here I am with my gorgeous traveling partner, live partner on the
internet, podcast partner, partner, my partner, my partner, and my partner, Mr. Ben Madelker
of the B-side blog and the B-into-Blind-a-hello-been.
Hey, what's going on?
Not much, baby.
It's we're doing a nighttime podcast, which is rare for us.
Yeah, that's fun.
They're usually live here.
Mm hmm. Well, we've never know where it's going to go.
It might get real loopy.
Never know.
Talk about those crazy shots of sunsets.
Yeah, we've been doing a lot of yapping today.
And now we're all into the shots.
And we're doing that because next week, we are been doing a lot of yapping today and now we're all to the shows and we're doing that because next week
We are Thvelin. We're going to West Palm and we're gonna do a show there on Thursday night
And it's gonna be the real housewives of New York
Reunion part one so get your asses to West Palm and then we're gonna be Atlanta for two shows on friday on Saturday
Or Friday or Saturday day Friday, right? Saturday is right at the show Friday. We're traveling. We're doing two shows in Atlanta. Then we're gonna do
Real Housewives of Dallas for the first show which is sold out SARS and the second show is not sold out
Yay, and that is gonna be the very first episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta
and
It's your gonna be your birthday. So I mean, doesn't everyone want to be there in the room
to wish Ronnie a happy birthday,
to say happy birthday to him.
Don't you want me to cry?
I want you to cry.
Yeah, I'll cry, talk about my mommy issues.
It's gonna be great guys.
Talk about all the goals I have and achieved.
It's gonna be super positive nights.
Yeah, maybe we'll get a whole bunch of party hats
and then we'll go put them on.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. But, um whole bunch of party hats and everyone could put them on Maybe maybe
Now
Yeah, yeah, you know that song that was actually like a real song. It was on the radio and I used to love it
I love that song and then shaz came and they ruined it for me. I mean, that's a like it But I used to love it. I love that song. And then Shaz came and they ruined it for me.
I'm just a like it, but I used to love it.
That song.
It's always made me nuts.
And the opening comes on in every single time.
I'm like, what am I watching?
Why am I, why am I doing this to myself?
Got a lot of girls, cut a lot of chicks.
Got a lot of wrecks on here on sunset.
Yeah.
Six makes jigs.
Like a sun song.
Shut up song.
You know, Shaza Sunset.
I've actually always really enjoyed Shaza Sunset.
I think in the past few years, you know,
it's been showing some signs of age.
They've just sort of been rehashing the same shit over and over.
Hey, where's the two shaped his mustache?
How dare you?
I know. I'm sorry.
But, you know, it's, it's, for me. This was actually my first episode that I've seen this season because I was traveling during the first two episodes and when I sat down today to catch up my DVR had had raised the episodes because one of those things were Bravo decided to do like some random marathon of season two and that like replaced all the episodes that have been saved on there. So I wasn't really able to watch seasons, I mean episodes one
and two and the thought of just going on to demand and not being able to fast forward
over commercials, it just wasn't worth it. So can you just give me like a quick update on
where we're at so far in episodes one and two?
Yeah, because you told me that that was the case and I was like, well, it's Shaws. Like
how much do you think happened? They ate a lot. They went out of town, ruined each other's lives,
the end. You know, like, yeah. But then I was watching it and I thought, God, a lot, I
guess is different. Um, Reza's a lot older now, but he's lost his weight. Um, MJ is thinner
and like bigger at the same time, like something like, like, she's more beautiful than ever,
but like, it's like completely different looking it's weird. It's like when you squeeze toothpaste it'll
get like skinnier in the middle but you know. Yes and she I mean I think it looks
better than ever. What else? Also gone. Yeah well you know all that. So then yeah
we see her in the clips into the preview and her store you know saying like babe
I don't know that resist ready to have a baby, babe. And Adam's like, so far they went to big bear and we
meet Nima and his sister Mona, who were separated when they were little kids and their parents
got divorced. And then they were reunited as adults, but now they're in love. Like,
it's like totally obvious that they're a couple.
I got, I, I got that vibe, especially when they've
in this episode when they walked into Rockwell together and I was like, oh, there's Nima and his
girlfriend. I was like, Oh, okay, that's a sister. And the whole cast makes fun of them for it
because it's like obvious. Right. He's like, no, he's like really dorky. He's not quite,
but he's trying to be a real asshole because he's on the shots of sunset now. Yeah, and he's like thirsty for TV
I guess. So he's trying to be a horrible person. So he stopped wearing socks and then he like tried to cheat on his girlfriend on TV
But Gigi was like, I know
Then Gigi and MJ got in a fight over what they showed clips of so you saw that alone
Yes, and that's it.
OK, I mean, that feels good.
I mean, we no longer have Shervin as a main cast member,
and Shervin has a man bun, which is problematic.
Yes.
I'm thinking last year too.
You know, it started to develop last year.
I think it was there last year.
I think I'd forgotten about it.
And then seeing it again in the wake of Patrick
on Vanderpump Rules. I was like this is
unacceptable. Shervin and you know I've always liked you. I've always found him to be so cute. He's
like cute hot but the man bun the Shervin man bun like he doesn't need to do that. He doesn't need
the man bun. He has he's Shervin. You know why? I know why I respect his man bun because he pulls out
wads of hundreds. Now that is a man he can have a man but like when they go to that bar in this
episode and he's like just get bottles, teedos, rosé, whatever. And the ladies
like, okay, that 700 any whips out like hundreds, a lot of hundreds. I mean, our brother,
we see wads of ones with a 20 on the outside.
It doesn't work for me. You know what? It's like, you know what, if you're like a big like
Patriots fan and you wear like a Patriots jersey, but then you wear a Patriots hat
Like only one you only get one piece that you can wear you can't like wear two or three things
So you're either gonna do like one douchebag thing is either man bun or a lot of hundreds
You can't have man bun and a lot of hundreds. That's just like awful and honestly have none of those things. Yeah
He's so cute. I like him and I like his decision to still be on the show
But like not share anything from his real life
So he basically his job this year is to pay for things and then the whole GG back
Yeah, that's really all we need sure for you know, I'm there
Well, he also needs to be shirtless occasionally. It's very important that sure it takes off a shirt
Oh, yeah, cuz I'm like watching the evolution of these guys like how much hair do they have on their back?
Oh, yeah. You know?
You know, I have to say, I mean, your post was hilarious
last week when you're like,
Mike's opened up a Sephora on his face.
So, I mean, Mike is just looking worse for wear.
However, in the middle of this episode,
I don't know if this, if there was this look
in other episodes, there was one interview look he had
where he looked like hot and I was like,
whoa, wait, what, what did that come from? He's like, he's like good angle facial hair was like,
all where it should be. And I was like, all of a sudden, Mike is hot. And then it like goes back
to like the actual footage. And he's like in a giant farmer hat. And I'm like, oh, you know,
his hat. Yeah, he's in like act three of a person Godfather movie the season. Yeah, I really committed to the like, hey come on over here.
Sit on Uncle Mikey's lap.
It was kind of funny to me seeing this cast like characters again, you know, after, you
know, like nine months or whatever and noticing my reactions to some of them because I had
strange, like sudden reactions to some, when I saw Mike, I was just like, you know what,
I can't, I can't with Mike right now.
Like I, you know, I have, in general,
I have liked, I have gone up and down with Mike.
There's sometimes I really like him,
and there's sometimes I'm like, ugh,
but when he came on screen, I was like, ah, no, no,
I don't think I need this.
And then also Adam, when I saw Adam,
I was like, you know what, enough with Adam. I can this. And then also Adam, when I saw Adam, I was like, you know what? Enough with Adam. I can't. Well, Adam has really pushed it a lot, a lot to see. Yeah, especially this
episode. I think ever since you got scratched with G by GG, it's almost like that scratch had
like some weird like where will be aspect to it where he was like tame gay and then after
got scratched by GG, he has slowly started to become more awful. Yeah, he's loud gay
now.
He was like heckling with MJ and out
so he wasn't in the wedding.
He was like,
Hey, I've known you for 10 years.
What the hell?
Like, he was heckling from the back.
Yeah, he's like, he's like, well, it's whiny gay now.
I'm like, he's not really whiny.
I mean, I'm whiny.
I'm whiny gay.
He's totally whiny.
He's like, hi, man.
How many wins do we have for the baby and look?
I've even given him ten sees voice from Ross was of the America that's that's how much he's whining
So we open up this episode with resa showing MJ the new house that he's building or that he's redoing or whatever
And he's like, oh my god. It's just like all American
There's gonna be a picket fans. It's like the new face of the American family
ticket in America. Yes, Reset. You're the first fucking immigrant who's ever had a family in America.
Congratulations. Well, maybe in the Trump era. So, Reset, yeah, Memjay shows up and she's wearing
sunglasses. And I liked her sunglasses because it looked like they were made of like two paddles from a Ouija board set, you know, pointing in different directions.
What an oddly accurate description of those sunglasses.
She's like communicating with like the underworld while at the same time protecting her eyes
from UV rays.
Yeah, MJ has really committed to her insane sunglasses fixation this year.
It's about time. It's about time.
She's very divine with her sunglasses.
So MJ asks a really important question that we need to all ask our friends when
they're building house. Do you have a toilet that's going to wash your ass?
He's like, yeah, everything.
You know, I don't, I just don't understand why we as Americans look down on the
concept of bidets. Like, you know, I feel like, I just don't understand why we as Americans look down on the concept of bidets.
Like, you know, I feel like it's such an American thing.
I'm talking as if I'm not American, but I just feel like in general people are like,
oh my God, the French, they don't even use the other end.
Like, how disgusting.
I'm like, yeah, but at least the French wash their asses.
Like, why do we look down on the days?
Like, that's like a good thing.
That it's like, oh, you like, oh, like making sure our assholes are cleaner.
That's good.
It's just such an awkward, it's just, it's just created so awkwardly.
Like you get on this separate thing and swat down on it.
It's like not, it wasn't designed well.
The industrial design wasn't really well thought out on a bidet.
And now I think they're talking about these toilets where a little thing comes out, yeah,
it comes out of the toilet and then it sprays up your butt stuff and then it retreats like it goes. And my problem
with that, it's like a public water fountain where everybody's getting their lips on the fountain
and I don't want to drink the water that's touching the thing that touched their lip. You get germs,
you know, right? Well, don't drink the toilet. Well, you know, but I don't want it like, I don't know what I mean.
You don't want to share about water.
Yeah, I don't want to share about water.
You know, our hot tub jets and F like.
Well, I am pro-assault cleaning toilets.
I think that's a great idea.
Yeah, okay.
But I do agree, but days are not designed well.
I do agree.
It's like you have to hover and then like
Yeah, I don't know why they don't they're not given seats as well
Well the French must be taller than me there and odd there and also my mom had one
When we were growing up when they like designed my mom's dream home
Mm-hmm on the cool to sack and El Paso
It's like all desert
But she got her house and she had a
day and I was like, what is this?
And no one would really explain to us what it was
because my parents were super conservative.
So I guess they just like my sister did
know that she was getting her period when she got her period.
She freaked out. She didn't know what was happening.
She thought she was dying.
Like, they were really conservative.
So I didn't really understand what this thing was.
So I would sneak in there and turn it on.
And it was just confusing to me. I didn't really understand. You're was so I would sneak in there and turn it on and it was just confusing to me
I didn't really understand you're like pretending it was like the fountains of a lot of you
Just you start playing like classical music and turn it up and down up and down. How did you know what I was like as a child?
You start playing like starts read in the news
Like Frank Sinatra and you like slowly crank up the bid bidet and then drop it and crank it up fast and
drop it and then go halfway and then drop it and high and drop it.
Oh God, bidet is right guys.
Okay, so they have a little champagne picnic on the front and
reds is like, so like how crazy did we read that party?
They were such bastards at that party.
Like they were such assholes.
And MJ is like, you know what?
I'm into not shaming ourselves in any way.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny seeing that flashback.
It reminded me of, I think it was season two,
when Resa decided he hated MJ,
and he had some sort of party,
and he got up on a stage with like Lil Goli-Gi and MJ was there and
was like, I'm so glad that all my favorite people are here like Lily and Assa and Mike and
Future Shervin and other people and exactly those people and I've left no one out and of course he
like didn't mention MJ. Yeah. Like this guy, this guy he loves getting on stage
and just doing a pass progressive comment.
Yeah, he likes being a total asshole in front of everybody.
Like he does look, he's really nice in private.
He just ruins you in public.
He's like, some people's feelings were hurt.
I'm like, we just saw a flashback of Gigi
like turning into a wild banshee because of what you said
like I guess his ex wife to the party just to fuck with Gonesa okay that's why
she like went into her like I'm gonna hit a wall rage or whatever yes yeah
they didn't really explain that and just acting all confused she's like when
Gonesa was with Shalom she was nicer and better but now that she's having
some personal problems she's having some personal problems,
she's having a problem seeing other people be happy.
Um, no, it's because you brought her ex, her ex's wife,
ex wife, ah, you brought her ex's ex to the party you a whole.
And she said, I don't have time for like friends.
You need peanut butter with her jelly.
Like, that sounds like a great friend.
Who wants a jelly sandwich? You got nobody. Like a gym, say, jelly. Like that sounds like a great friend. Who wants a jelly sandwich?
You don't know what a jam is, okay?
Get some protein in your snacks, MJ.
I specifically need the peanut butter
with my jelly, actually.
So, and I know it was like some sort of commentary
on jealousy, but honestly, like maybe jealous,
maybe it would like jealous people more
if they came with peanut butter.
Yeah.
And don't mess up my daytime snack with your madness, okay? Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe we'd like jealous people more if they came with peanut butter. Yeah.
And don't mess up my, my daytime snack with your madness, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I, if I had, if I had some bread here in the apartment, I would definitely make myself a
pub and J.
Girl, I've called yummy in the middle of the night.
Like, bring me some white bread, some peanut butter, and some jelly, and some chips, and
some cigarettes.
That's a vibe.
Speaking of white bread, we then had a surprising big brother and some chips and some cigarettes. That's a five-year-old. You're at it. Come on over, yummy.
Speaking of white bread, we then had a surprising big brother across over with Dr. Will
Kirby who showed up.
He looks great.
Oh my God.
I mean, he's a dermatologist.
This person makes me believe in taking care of my skin.
Yeah.
But also like he has transitioned into silver fox astonishingly well.
You know, he, I mean his face looks exactly the same
as it did 10 years ago, 15 years ago.
But now instead of like the dark sort of like shiny black hair,
it's now this like salt and pepper luxurious feast.
And Dr. Wilkerby, I just give you a standing, oh,
and we like Dr. Wilkerby because he was an avid supporter of TV
Gasm where we got our start. Yeah, he sure was and he's also like he'll show up on these shows
But he's not a camera hog or a whore. Mm-hmm. Like this was his scene
He could have been like trying to cause shit come back for a party do something like that
But he didn't he like let his hot nurse take over and he just kind of stood there. Yeah, yeah
Chill town. I was into it.
I have chill town for a reason.
So, um, uh, yeah.
So GG shows up to Dr.
Will's practice because Dr.
Will's specialty these days, I believe is tattoo removal.
So, uh, she wants to get the chalone removed or does she?
Cause she's sort of like, I'm here to get my tattoo removed, but I don't want to get rid of it.
So I'm like, well, what,
you want to just take a nap on the table?
Why are you here?
Like literally, I don't get it.
Like what's going on?
Like what's happening?
And then Destiny arrives with her platitudes.
Like, what's this doubt?
You're done.
You're not looking back.
OK?
That word is not doing you any good.
No more of that word.
I'm like, OK, well, she can't say hello or goodbye anymore.
You know, like let the girl keep some manners. I know. Also, by the way,
definitely looks crazy this season. That's also another. I wasn't I wasn't upset to see her.
I did not have a visceral reaction against her, but she looks cray. Super cray this season.
She's I think it's her interview look because her interview look is where she's like bleached.
She's got it like like her big root showing and then it's bleached. Yeah her lace front is like
yeah like it's like the lace front is like all the way at the top of her head or something.
I've been her natural hairs below. It's like I don't know. It's like her it's like she's
create like a wig carpet on her head. Yeah. And they tell me to bring like bring more you know because
like you need to bring more
So she's like okay, guess what I'm gonna bring crying. I'm gonna cry so much
You guys are not gonna believe how much I'm gonna cry. I'm like this girl's got some issues and frankly
They're not issues I really care about I mean
Get hand her a knife and show her who to cut
Please this is the show
So so yeah, and one of her issues, I think,
is her desire to want to, like, memorialize GG's tattoo
removal by recording it presumably for social media.
I'm like, this is not what I would want to see
with an icon wand Instagram.
But we do.
Oh, and that's probably where we'll really shine
in this scene on Insta.
We just didn't see those
We're like, um, but Dr. Will Kirby you can find me it will Kirby you know, terminology whatever. Yeah, get paid
So then we go over to Rockwell where
Namanah, that's why I like to call them
Namanah, you know, I had it can I tell you something? I?
Had a dream last night
Can I tell you something? I had a dream last night.
pneumonia.
pneumonia.
pneumonia.
I had it so okay, this is what this was leaning towards.
Okay, that pneumonia joke.
That's where this is, this is, okay, this let me tell you something.
I had a dream last night that was diagnosed with pneumonia.
And then today I went to the dentist and the dentist was looking through my records.
It was like, hmm, so back in 2009, you were had pneumonia, didn't you?
And I was like, that's so weird.
Why would they bring that up?
And then on this episode, Sham's got pneumonia.
I'm like, pneumonia.
What's up with pneumonia today?
And then now I'm realizing why?
It was all to give us pneumonia.
And while you were doing that, I started smoking a vape instead of a cigarette because I'm like trying to cut down and I started coughing so hard
I was like I'm gonna get pneumonia and then I stopped coughing and I was like
damn my teeth are it I really need to go to the dentist and I'm not even
kidding that is really happened crazy circle yeah so let's get that taken care
of guys well guess what and I thought of you at the dentist because I have a crack in my tooth and I remember you say I have a crack yeah my tooth. And I remember you, so you've had it back. Yeah, I have to. I need to go get two teeth. I'm like pathetic right now.
Like I need some, I need to like really take care of myself.
The only identity straight, right?
Isn't this the life?
Yeah, like the birthday is coming up and I'm starting to take stock.
And I'm like, okay, you've got two broken teeth.
There's like a lot of issues, okay?
I don't even want to list them here.
And I think that I'm just doing take stock and I'm like, okay, you've got two broken teeth. There's like a lot of issues, okay. I don't even want to list them here. And I think that
I'm just doing that because we started talking about how Destiny cries all the time. So
now I'm like, oh my god, you know what I have to fix?
You're gonna cry. Okay, so everybody on the internet, everybody on the internet has been speculating
that either these two are fucking or Nemo's just totally gay and he's just trying to you know cover up by
Not ever committing to a girl. He they did go to Rockwell
And I was gonna say and then they go to the only dinner theater in town the Rockwell
Yeah, so they have this really fascinating conversation where Nemo's like I really like outdoor places and she's like you know
I care half-bought food half-bought ambiance. He's like I I really like outdoor places and she's like, you know, I care half about food, half about ambiance.
She's like, I care almost 100% about ambiance.
I was like, wow, this is fascinating.
Let's call fooders.
She's like, he goes, we're really close and we're really involved in each other's lives.
And we're like, yeah, we know.
So the producer's like, so is anybody mistaken you for a couple I mean besides Destiny and Resa and MJ and
Sheridan and 8 million Americans. He's like uh honestly like it happens a lot
people often think that like we're husband and wife and obviously it makes me
want to gag it makes me want to gag at the idea of boning her. Yeah, it wouldn't be a pose to it.
Yeah, he goes.
It's like Ace Ventura with a plunger on his face.
And then he started making this motion
with a plunger on his face, but it looked like the blow job motion.
No, it's like you just can't win, Neema.
You just cannot win.
By the way, I like Neema.
I have to say I like him.
What a douchebag.
He shows up and then tries to cheat on purpose with GG on National TV while he's got a girlfriend who he was cheating with his wife with by the way
By not falling for your lies, sir
Well, by the way, and I definitely was I definitely have issues with stuff
He he did this episode, but since I don't have as much of context on him
I was like oh this guy seems like an ice breath of fresh air
Yeah, that's no seems and then those are the guys that fuck you the worst
But we need that kind of douche bag on this show because we were getting all just like Mike douche bags and I spread the fresh air. Yeah, that's what it seems. And then those are the guys that fuck you the worst.
But we need that kind of douchebag on this show,
because we were getting all just like mic douchebags.
And we need like a different dimension.
And douchebag, yeah.
Yeah, we need like different styles of douchebags.
Yeah, I'm with you.
So, Samona's like asking what's the deal with DG
and he's like, well, there's just like a natural
chemistry with DG and I'm like, I'm not sure.
I would use the word natural with GG.
And please don't use chemistry around.
GG. You'll blow up your whole fucking house.
OK. Just don't use anything around her.
If you have any chemistry, any chemical,
trust at all, let a lock on the door.
OK. Yeah.
So, um, yeah.
So then like there's, then he, I guess he was saying how, he's
saying how he almost told his girlfriend, Erica that he almost kissed Gigi and we get a flashback
of him almost telling Erica and he's like, yeah, you know, uh, uh, Big Bear was like really
awesome. Uh, it was really cool. And I had like a really great connection with a lot of people and she's like, oh yeah, great.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
And I'm just like, you put me in the bad position.
One, as a woman, I don't think it's right.
He's like, oh my god, as a woman.
She's like, and number two, Erica's been so kind to both of us.
And number three, you're my another fan.
I'm not.
She just throws a marching in his face.
And he's like, my biggest problem is that I don't think
before I act.
It's like, yeah, hello, welcome to the world of Gigi.
Yeah, hello.
Welcome to the Shows.
Yeah, exactly.
And he keeps doing this thing where he's like,
well, it wasn't really fair because, you know,
I shouldn't have gone straight to a girlfriend right after my marriage.
I'm like, you shouldn't have gone to your girlfriend during your marriage.
No one is following for this, okay?
And later he says that he's like, well, we knew her when I was married.
And when I had problems, I would go to her and talk to her.
And then months and months later, when it was appropriate, we started dating.
And she was patient with me.
You were cheating.
And then she started to run his plastic surgery practice and then they had a little
child and they got a post arm in their kitchen.
Oh wait, I'm sorry.
I went over to Dallas for a second.
I know.
So now we go to Reza's condo where he's like preparing his dog for a walk with Mike.
He's like, you made dogs.
Is that like a dog?
So I have to prepare him for Mike.
And so Mike shows up and they go on
like a little dog you walk together.
And I just, you know,
Ressa's dog is named Martini
and that's dangerous because I can imagine
Ressa ingesting that dog,
you know, just like coming home drunk
when I'm just like drinking the dog.
I mean, this show, no one, no one in just more than this show.
I'm like, just don't name your animals anything edible or drinkable.
Okay.
I mean, this is a show where they're essential cast member put her dog in the
freezer.
So, um, and then that's how I came up with Shannon Briedoor products.
Huh.
Frozen. Er, And then that's how I came up with Shanley Brie-Dour products! Huh! Frozen Archie! So, um, so we, as, as, as, as Reza's on this walk with Mike, uh, through the neighborhood,
um, he starts talking about how, um, Teenie, because that's what they call the dog for short.
Teenie, we went and started attacking this giant dog at the dog park.
It was like such a big dog and then started talking to the owner and turns it the owner
They're like the funches and they're like they are fun and they like shed lounges and they have like
Thousands of dollars in they want me to like they love my hair and they want me to invest half a million dollars in their next scheme
Which will totally break out
And Mike's like whoa, you know did you notice that my got jet like he was like, whoa, because Michael invested anything
every year, Mike is investing in something else. Yeah, he is
like invested in stop signs.
Bro, who says the government is the only one that can make stop
signs? I got my own stop signs down, bro. So my got jealous for
a second. And you know, I was waiting for Resid ask Mike to
invest money because I feel like that's coming up because you know he's trying to suck our
Mike into this because he was not this stupid, you know.
Yeah, and he's going to say, well, I don't want to put in all the money myself because I
promised Adam I would buy him a Chachki.
So yeah, so I like him and Mike though, Mike also likes to assume that he's already part
of it because he's like, he's like, hey
dogs, we're living the high life champagne.
I'm like, uh-uh, you're not part of this deal, Mike.
You're not living the high life.
Yeah, Mike.
And Russ is like, as a person, you are raised to be a money-making machine.
Like, hmm.
Welcome to America.
You know, this is not sure where they're like, when you're a person, you get hungry three
times a day
So then so then he's like well, I really want to invest in this
But I had this little place inside my head that's like bitch you can't be doing that and then I also you're Adam And then then let me see a flashback about him like when I'm gonna have a baby. What about the baby?
I want to have a baby. Can we have a baby? Is this for the baby? Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby baby baby baby baby. Um, she stopped listening to Amy Grant on repeat, honestly.
Baby baby. Uh, so Ressa is like, um, this little voice inside me named Adam. He's like this. He's like,
you really, you've really, um, masculated Adam in your mind.
really, um, masculated Adam in your mind.
Adam's like the brownie man in his mind.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because Adam, I mean, this baby thing with Adam and Resa, I'm like, over like, I don't, like, I don't think Resa really wants a baby.
And I, I actually, you know, I, I do feel like, you know, Resa wants to invest in
it. This is the sort of thing that he wants to invest in.
And later on, you know, he sold to his dream house in Palm Springs for this.
I don't know.
I feel like Resa makes so many sacrifices for Adam.
And like Adam's sacrifice is that he had to move his cornflakes over, you know, to make
room for something.
And I just, yeah, that's a real giver in the relationship.
You see, that's what happens when we have so much time off between seasons. They're like, God, Resor really does put a lot to this.
Do we list the things that Retha has done to Adam? I cannot be. Adam is such a
doormat. Jesus Christ. But like, either just be a doormat or be like a
assertive, but don't be like a doormat that's like maybe next time we could get a plant to go
next to me by the door like no just be the doormat yeah and I like I just like how casually they
they put it every time he's like the next big purchases a baby like they're just stopping at the store
so then my cuz my relationship advice one- on one, if you keep secrets, it
won't work. Okay. It got me in trouble. I'm like, those, no, those are not the same kind
of secrets, Mike. You were cheating on your girlfriend and lied about it or your wife
rather. Oh, God. You see, like, I love when Mike gives advice about relationships. Oh,
wait. He's just wait. He's a found this year of knowledge of self-knowledge
He's like the guy below deck med this week. It's like a self-help guy
Mike is self-helping the shit out of everybody and it's like it's amazing to watch and then he ages like 10 years between each meme, you know
He just gets dump here and just dump here. So
It's like weird. He just becomes like more more like a barrel
He's like a bully. I got to fish. But he yeah, it's like I can't describe it
And then yet he then he suddenly looks hot like three quarters of the episode three quarters the way through the episode
It's like what it's time for commercial. It's time
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We now got MJ's new house.
I didn't realize that she'd left her...
I mean, I really dislike this on Bravo when we have to sit through a season of like
like, oh look at me. I'm I'm moving into new
Acondo. I'm doing this. I'm doing renovations. renovations. Look, it's finished in the next season. Oh, I got a new place.
I just this cast is constantly moving and I feel like they don't pay their rent. I think they go into these really expensive places, wait till they get in a fiction notice, then wait for the three
months that they're allowed to stay there and squat and find another, because there has
to be something fishy, they're always moving. No, I mean, I think that they flipped their properties.
I actually think, well, I don't know, I think some of them flipped their properties. I think
like actually MJ probably flipped Orkando. And I actually, it was probably a temporary thing because there's no way she's going to live under Vita, you know,
but Mike, Mike, that's weird. The stuff with Mike is weird. Yeah.
So I'm like, I think with Mike is even a storyline today where he shows up in a big truck full of
boxes for homeless people. There's something not right here, okay? Yeah. I was going on with his
shoes, his baby shoes.
Do we get an update on the first two episodes?
He's like, everyone gets one blanket,
one pair of socks, one pair of baby shoes.
Come on home, those people.
We get the baby shoe.
So we go to MJ's new house
and she has a new assistant named Sienna
and MJ is like, I, you know what,
I'm just juggling way too much
or had to get an assistant.
I'm like, what?
You juggling. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh'm just juggling way too much. I had to get an assistant. I'm like, what are you juggling?
She's actually literally juggling.
She picked up, she started taking a juggling class.
She's like, I can't stop.
I've got to do like 70 hours of juggling
and I don't have time to do everything else.
I have an assistant to do like basic typing.
Maybe.
She has to meet her quote, so she can be a professional certified.
I have to learn to juggle by my wedding. Yeah. She's like, I called a blueprint.com and
they don't have any juggling lessons for me. So I call the Prith people. MJ is my favorite
because she's not only the laziest ass wedding thrower like I would be she's like I just went digital
She's getting it off for free from some company. They blueprint and she's just brilliant
I mean the lady just sits there on her couch in a broth basically she puts a jacket over a bra
And then she just has everybody bring her free shit and she just orders it on her phone
I mean yeah, I'm just kind of the smartest person on the show at the moment.
Yeah, I actually don't understand why more weddings
are not planned like this.
Like, I mean, everyone goes on Pinterest
and sees what they like.
So she's just like, okay, I want that cake
and I want those flowers and I want these glasses.
And then she's like, and my, she's like in my dream wedding,
I would be a forest nymph.
And then it like, cussed to some weird, like,
deleted footage from the Zelda video game.
I'm like, else running through the woods And then it like cussed to some weird like deleted footage from the Zelda video game.
L's running through the woods and talking day coup trees and things like that.
And then it just like zones in on MJ just eating a hot dog next to a nymph.
But these are the clips I used to show of awesome member when I said, be like, my baby to come out in a diamond field of water of, you know,
Arab Spring. You're like, what the fuck is she talking about?
You know is funny to me was
Like a few days ago. I was on Instagram and I was you know
I you know I follow like a like you know certain like hot guys just you know little as Karen you could say little
I can't you know why not so so, a bunch of them are like muscle dudes
or like personal trainer types, whatever.
And one guy on his Instagram story was like,
check out this awesome water with like alcohol,
alcohol line, whatever, alkaline water with minerals.
And I was like diamond water.
And I was like, this douchebag doesn't even realize
he's holding up awesome, stupid water.
And he's like, look at this, it's so cool bro.
Like, do you even lift?
It's like you're holding oscis water.
I know when I first saw black water out in the real world
with people who didn't even watch Bravo,
I was both impressed and horrified.
Yeah, it's very scary what happens in this world.
Thank God we watch Bravo to understand these things.
So the cake designer guy is on the is on the FaceTime and he's like, okay, you said like a little cake.
It's puny. We need a bigger cake. Okay.
So name a fashion designer and we'll just go from there. She goes
1992, Giuliani Versace when he was alive. And he's like,
Don't bet. Don't.
God.
He's like, I was originally going to think of something from Talbot, but that works too.
He's like, I was originally going to think of something from Talbot, but that works too. And how handy did that show was right on TV at the time.
Like thank God she wasn't watching like a fashionista or a Mexicanista commercial, you know.
Well, I'm just glad she didn't say Kathy Ireland collection.
The count is collection, please.
Well, no, that's not what I was saying.
She buys her a.
It's just like, she just gets a drawing of the cake.
And it's all made of jogging pants.
Well, the cake is supposed to be delivered in September spring, summer.
And she goes, you know, a lot of girls have a lot of time to do this, but when you only have five days,
just just go on the phone like me, blueprint, blueprint.com.
Yeah. So then we go to Griffith Park where Neema is walking a dog with Erica. And they're making a little bit of
pattern and he's like saying you know she's saying like oh you're enjoying it because you
always seem to complain every time we do something. He's like no no no like I'm like really happy to
spend time with you. I really really am. Even when I'm complaining I'm like really happy to spend time with you. I really really am even when I'm complaining. I'm like really happy
So happy that I I am riddled with anxiety at the moment
So I went to Big Bear and I was near Gigi and
I feel really awkward about this was outside
Or by a garage door or on some ass. Can you get to the point? He's like, well, there was almost like a kiss.
And she goes, how do you almost get some mind?
Like, well, we're outside and then we were both like, no, and she goes, oh, wait.
So she stopped it or you stopped it, which is women's intuition, you know, a woman's
intuition. Like, she's totally right. She totally saw how it happened and then he lies again, and he's like we both did and then they show the clip of Gigi like
No
And in the middle of this we literally had an ad for blueprint.com by the way. Oh, yeah soccer
Yeah, well Lisa wasn't craftsy
It could have been worse MJ. Oh, oh god. It would have been that's true. Oh, god, it would have been like twigs everywhere.
Here's how you make your own wedding cake.
MJ's time should be like, I'm fucked.
Yeah, Blueprint already seems much better than Crafty.
Thank you.
So yes, Erica's just like sitting there quietly.
And I was watching the scene trying to figure out
if this was a scene that happened already in real life
and they're recreating it or if this is happening now in real.
Like this is first time she's here in her bag
because she's here in her bag
because she's just sitting there quietly
with like a half smile of shock
and like humiliation being on camera.
And then she's just like,
I'm boiling right now.
Yeah, she's like, I am rally.
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.
I'm so live it.
So I'm sat and it's like, yeah,
but I didn't think I'd go from wife to girlfriend.
There's things like, I don't work through there.
She's like, um, I've got to go.
And then he does that thing where he's wrong, but he's like,
but I'm fully aware that I'm being a hypocrite.
Well, that doesn't change it, you know?
Well, that's what we do all the time.
I do do it, but...
Which is, innately, I have a critical moment. That is that's true. Okay, you're right. You're right. But guess what? I'm single. Okay. And I'm imposing that on somebody else. Okay.
That's why I stay in my own apartment away from other people. Okay. Well, you know, what I did actually did not like about this.
And this is where I started to be like, wait a second. He's actually douchebag was when she says, do you want to be in a relationship?
And he goes, well, I just I never thought I'd go from wife
to serious girlfriend and you came into my life
and completely changed that perspective,
which is the quiet implication there is,
this is your fault because I should have just been single
and you came into my life and like you,
like there's an employee,
the suggestion is you kind of trap me, you know,
which is kind of, right?
Right, also, and like you knew that I was in a a you were with me when I was in such a bad state and you
should have known I wasn't ready instead of just taking you know and she's
like well you know my next stop in life is marriage and babies and you're
throwing a wrench into my plants in the seventh inning. Well, who throws a wrench
at a baseball game? Yeah, I'm like you you're not, I'm really gay. And even I know that that's not how it works.
Like you're playing baseball wrong, okay?
Yeah, but yeah, and he's like, well, at the same time,
he's like, to be fair, I said I never want the kids, you know?
So, you know, this kid issue for trade people,
that's where I guess for both sides,
because we're seeing it with Adam and Resa,
but gosh, people really don't seem to listen to each other's
What they want in life. And I've learned from watching these bachelor shows that no one listens. They don't even care
They just want to be picked by somebody
Yeah, you know, and they both think that they can change each other and then they have the natural
I think the place we're at right now is that we know that we can have somebody to go to the movies with and fuck and you know
Have help us run errands and clean the house and then when we find someone
better we just dump them and that's just how life works. Yeah and you know what I you know what
Nima does also which I think is so annoying he's like well he's tells us like no she really
deserves a guy who really is like ready without baggage because she's so great and she deserves
that and he tells her you know I'm'm not gonna waste another second of your time.
Like, oh, thanks for the favor.
Like, he's like putting it on her, right?
Like, he's basically breaking up with her,
but he's putting it on her.
Like, no, you have to dump me, you know?
Which is kind of annoying because then he gets to be like,
oh, I was dumped, you know?
Like, no, you're the one who's like, oh, like,
you know what I'm saying?
Like, oh, I'm not gonna waste another second of your time. Like, well, oh like like you know, I'm saying like oh
I'm not gonna waste another second of your time like well. I just say like I don't want to be in relationship
He's like you won't do that and so finally she's like well, I think I want to break. Oh, oh, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry
Yeah, she's like um sorry. It's not really gonna work for me now
I think we should go and then he starts walking back down the hill with her in the dog
I'm like, I know you're taking a new birth
Yeah, whatever happened to you saying you're not gonna waste another second of her time as then you then walk with her
Yeah, can I ever ride home?
So NJ and the dad so sad because her father passes away this season
Yeah, and it's really sad and
She's taking selfies with the dad in the hospital stuff
And she's like, you know, I really want to emulate my dad and do things he would do and I want my friendships to lift each other up
like
You're gonna have to get a new group of friends. I'm afraid. Yeah, what a nice thought
This poor guy shams. I mean, he's been sucking that bed for a year. I have a poor guy
It's hard. It's hard to watch
So let's move on.
To Destiny going on a date, she's in the back seat
of her car talking to her mom, TT.
And she's like, she's like, mother, I'm going on a date.
She's like, mom's like, that's nice.
That's my giri.
That's my giri. She's like, he justeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee grease cosplay or something like that because his hair was like so big. And I was like, oh my God, this guy is awful.
Yeah, he's very like go grease lightning go grease lightning.
But then, you know, just to jump ahead for a second, when he did later show up on the
date, he looked much better.
Oh, wait, oh, wait a second.
He's hot.
The show I called him was like, I would love to go on a date with you.
Here's how to fix yourself.
Yeah, here's how to here's how to like dress and do your hair.
And then we can go.
Yeah, here's what conditioner is.
And I've sent to calm Amazon Prime one day, OK?
So.
So anyway, so she's talking to her mom.
And you know, we hear stories about like, like, her mom
tells a very sweet story about how her dad, like her mom totally remembers her first date with her dad
and like she knew that her dad loved her
because like he always knew what she was thinking.
It was like so sweet and then to hear that like he basically
had to go back to her mom for,
it was very vague for like handle business with all that shit,
whatever that meant.
And then they, it sounded like they just never were able
to get back in contact.
And yeah, they just lost it.
We never came back.
And so the Lamboor three jobs to raise all the kids.
I mean, this was really a depressing episode.
That was like such a sad, sad thought.
It's like very reminiscent of what happened
to Edith on Downton Habby.
And it's like.
Oh, it is. Oh my my god what if her dad comes back
with like a different face so anyway so she didn't pay enough so she's like well just
showed me that you can marry anyone and they can just leave and if the child hurts they
go through pain and look what it does to you look at me look at me
And I'm like is okay, so you're blaming your hair on your dad. I mean
Are you really gonna blame your dives off?
Blame it on the revolution
So she shows up at a place called the attic 45 minutes late for her date and so man no man, bye
Get up. Oh, sir. Yes, man, bye. Get up and answer.
Yes, true, but I'm glad he's dead because, you know, he actually was like, I want to leave,
but I want people to know that I had a bad hair.
Yeah, this is what my hair actually looks like, so I've got to wait till I say I can be on
camera.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, sorry.
He's like, you sure know how to keep him man waiting.
And she's like, oh, well, you know traffic. Guess I'm going to have a Moscow mural. That's like, you sure know how to keep him man-weighting, and she's like, oh, well, you know, traffic.
Guess I'm going to have a Moscow Mule.
That's like her thing.
She's always having a Moscow Mule.
I have no joke for that.
I just thought I'd wanted that because that's all she drinks.
Well, because he goes, that's so L.A.
Like, what?
It's like, it is.
It's Moscow Mule.
If anything, it's from Moscow.
No, but it's like from the 20s, you know, it's like, not so a couple of those trendy drinks that came back a few years ago and they're like every year or something
Yeah
It's across the country and then he's like what's he drinking a whiskey and coke I mean
That's so I rad so well. He's Iraq. That's so back bad
That's so presidom
That's so back that.
That's so presidom.
So Destiny, um, she wants more of an alpha man in life and a guy with a big pipito, which big penis, uh, because or a pumpkin seed.
I mean, I don't know depending on which you see which, which,
which, which would you speak?
It's a love for pumpkin seeds.
It's very important to her.
Yeah, she basically wants someone to be
said. That's what I hear because she's like, yeah, he has to be so intimidating
that he won't be intimidated by me.
And I'm like, um, be careful with you.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
Like, like, you're walking.
She's walking.
She's actually she's walking around with like a spiked bat.
Yeah, she's all me getting him. So he's like tell me about those rings. You'd look like your hands are scratched up
And she's like, oh, I was working on my car. I have like an old like catalogs amazing like I work on it myself like hipster
Have you ever been to the candy store downtown because I can totally get you a bargain?
Yeah, yeah, I got a pizza boner. Yeah. And then he
talks about how his parents were separated during the Gulf War. And so it was
like very, and they didn't know if they were live or not, etc. And she was like,
oh my god, that's what happened to my parents. So they start to bond. And she
basically gets a lady boner. And you know what? Good for her because he was hot.
And she goes, they, you know how they say a woman falls for someone
when they say something sad? It's totally true. I'm totally wrong. He's like, you ever see the end
of life is beautiful? She's like, oh no, I love you. It's so true. That is how you get them on
the bachelor. You make them wait and wait and then you go. Guess what I have to tell you something vulnerable. I'm not like, oh my god, you're the one.
Okay, but here's why I don't trust him and this might not be fair, but she's like, oh,
I like your bracelet and it's a wooden bead. You know, it's one of those wood bead bracelets
on like a stretchy band thing. Yeah, and he's like, my grandma gave me that. And I was like,
Yeah, and he's like my grandma gave me that and I was like
He's gonna pull out like a film finger next Yeah, I'm not sure he's like here's a picture of my grandma
It's one of those like caricatures done on the boardwalk, you know, yeah, it's like a total Josh
Yeah, I mean I'm gonna
Just walk from him totally yeah, this guy
So now we go from the attic to the study
Where like I pretty much they're just going
to locations and clue.
So now it's GG and Shervin.
They're at a bar and Shervin's man bun is on display.
It's not good.
And they like decide to get bottle service,
which at first I was like, there's just two of you guys.
This is like the duetious display.
But then, you know, people start coming in.
But before that, like, Gigi starts talking about MJ
and she wants things to work out.
And-
Not really.
She's serving wants things to work out.
Oh yeah.
She's like, yeah, well, she texted me and why?
Why would I go with her?
So this new, her reason is why she's a bitch!
Like Gigi came back, remember how last season
when she's like, I'm really gonna learn.
Or no, two seasons ago.
When she was into it with Resa and Resa tried to get her fired and then she's like, I'm
really gonna change.
And then last year's head of redemption year.
And now she's ready to cut somebody in every fucking scene.
Well, she's always up and down every other season.
Every other season she has the angry season and then every other season she has the good
season.
It all depends on who resets is targeting.
I don't mean it's, you know, like it's always a cycle.
And now that Asa's out of it, I mean, I guess Destiny will be getting her, her, I mean,
I guess next season will be Destiny's moment.
This is Destiny's first full season.
So either way, pneumonia arrive and then Mike shows up.
pneumonia, Neiman.
It's going to make me laugh every time.
That is so good.
So, pneumonia.
There's walking pneumonia ever after.
Walking pneumonia, because they're walking.
They're right.
And why can a terrible hat?
And he's now in the very end of the Godfather where he dies.
He's like, hey!
He's got arangeness in his mouth.
They're like, he dies. He's like, he's like, hey, kids.
He's got oranges in his mouth.
They're like, Mike, can you please put that back?
Now it's supposed to be for her vodka.
So then, I was like, how does he gain 10 pounds in your face
from the last scene to this scene?
This makes no sense.
And then random people start showing up.
They're like, the heat, Uncle Fred. What?
And my goes, I don't know if there's an irony hotline that,
or an Iranian hotline that we all know where we are,
you know, that night.
And I'm like, yeah, it's called Instagram.
Dude, that's true.
You know, I was, I was sort of sad that Sammy didn't
get to show up. Remember Sam?
Oh, Sammy was at the party last week.
Was he?
Yes, he has been on a diet
Really carbs and fat. Oh
Sexier than ever Sammy, but Mike is totally stolen. Sammy's look by the way It's like they fire Sammy and then Mike seals his look. Oh, wow
I'm really glad that Bobby and Asafo never show up. That's like so nice
Yeah, that is a good not show up
But I'm sad that we don't get to see more Lily-Galichi. I really liked Lily. She's like, bye. I'm a multi-millionaire now on my
own. I'm richer than all of you put together. And I'm happily married. So, I could
dick. How about that? Exactly. Exactly. So, Neema's like telling Mike that he got dumped
because he's like, yeah, so I got dumped, yeah, because, you know, Erica was like, you
know, you don't give me what you need,
what I need, you're not the guy, deserve all that sort of stuff.
I'm like, no, actually you told her that you almost kissed Gigi.
It wasn't like that she had all these hang-ups
and you just didn't live up to her standards.
It's like, you almost kissed Gigi
and then you forced her to dump you, you know?
Then Mike said, bro, it's a fucking blessing, bro.
It's a fucking blessing, okay?
He goes, I see it you know
like I see him in me because like divorce fucks you up and he didn't give him
self-time like look I've given myself time now look at me like you look like you've been dead
in a lake for two weeks like what are you talking about
name is like hey hey dude I'm so I'm sorry, but could you take the orange out of your mouth? I cannot understand what you're saying
So the uncle uncle Fred's like
Beautiful what you want in this world I provide it for you
She's like I don't know
Yeah, I'm just a pair of scissors that haven't been shaved off the end so I can still cut
somebody.
That would be nice.
Uh, goodness.
Yeah, Mike, give me advice on, um, to him.
No, you know, so you need to, he said you need to heal.
You need to have time off so you can heal.
That's what you need.
I'm like, you allegedly healed and like now look who you're with.
You're like busy dating a hand blender with extensions
Seriously
Would actually make her useful I have to say
So then we hear
That's so virgin bitch be like just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't chop up chop down trees
I'm like okay listen burly man you're cutting down like a baby fight guess. Like you're chopping a Jeep, okay?
You just like clipped a bonsai, okay?
Like you're not like hacking a grancecoya.
He's like this bitch is handy.
So Adam shows that thing, he's like, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
And of course like, Resa is like coughing and puffing. He's sweating, he's chopping down little trees and doing things to the house. baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby I do! He's like, well, you're like totally exposed, babe. I'm like, that's great for your new neighbors.
Take a guy with me.
Take a dick, baby.
Take a dick, baby.
He's a America.
I hope you're not by any schools.
So Adam's like, oh my god, they took the steps away.
Wow.
He's going to have to have like a sit down and coffee with a contractor.
So I was really upset because we needed stairs for a teeny and you take them away and it was like not cool. Howard kids supposed to get in the house without stairs.
So they're they're they're walking around and Reza's showing them around and he shows them the closet space
and Reza has like two closets and Anne has one. Anne's like um do we like do we think it should be 50 50 closets and I was like no
70 70 30 no until bitch be like oh building his own house. You can't have bitch be like closets
I was like you know what I agree with Reson this one. Yeah, you can get it for Adam gets a drawer
Yeah, you don't even get stairs. Resas gonna put its own
Personal stairs in to get to his side of the house. Okay, you fucker when they showed
Resas Palm Springs house and it actually was beautiful
Which I thought it was gonna be just like full of chevron but it was beautiful and the fact that he sold that his dream
He loved going to Palm Springs every season. He loved going there. It was his retreat and he gave that up. Oh, please
It was an investment property. He bought it flipped it
Buy it flip it buy it design it flip it. That's what he does
It just like
Let me have some like early season reservoir. Okay, or a turn
You should have seen in the last episode class. Okay, that's a thing
This is why I can't come in on episode three because like
No, I like it though because it tempers down my because look I started the season so fresh
Ask anyone ban. I'm
Anyone anybody who's I was like, oh my god. I've missed these people at Mrs. Show
This is so good and right now. I'm like fucking
Buck her like I'm already done, you know? So I like it.
It's like keeping it fresh for me.
Who was, who did you do it with?
You did it with Laura, and then who was the other person you did it with?
Um, Julie and Brandy did it with me.
Oh yeah.
And, uh, Julie was in the airport.
Oh god.
So you hear like, Wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee-wee- She's like walking walking around with her laptops, you know, just like my ballastation jokes
Brandy was at her house. It was a real technical joy for the listeners. I'm sure yeah, I'm sure
So um
Resa so resa's still like like Adams likes to watch the budget like I'm like well
We've spent 113,000 and 436 dollars and 25 cents. Are we gonna make it under budget? He's like uh
yeah if we don't include the 500,000 I'm gonna invest in a shampoo company. Did I say that out loud?
That's so Persian. Uh-oh the next step is like two little kids. I'm like wait a second you jump to two
you've got to hand it to Adam for expanding his thinking when he's not even getting anything, okay?
Do we do we know what Adam does for living? Yeah, I think he's an editor. He's like a film or TV editor
He has a decent job. That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. He works
Yeah, I think he probably like edits PSA's actually I think he edits American horror story
Really, yeah, isn't that interesting? I hooded on L internet. I have
no idea if that's true. Oh, there we go. Well, I read it in some Facebook comment thread.
Well, in that case, he probably is contributing a nice amount to this house. So good for him.
Yeah, he's going to be paying for a lot of shampoo. I know we always feel bad for, uh,
for resa. I'm like, we get tricked. Like res is the one spending the money. But you know Adam's investing too, I mean gold chains aren't cheap.
Yeah, Adam's probably investing more money if you really, if Adam's an editor on
like a long running successful show, he's probably investing more money than Reza.
But he gets the brunt of our snarkiness because the way the show's edited
it makes him just like a whiny bitch.
Where does it like huffing him puffing?
Yeah, I've been working all day. It's so piercing. I'm like, no, it's not. Everybody knows like literally building your house is not so
person. Okay, I just live in a little Armenia, stop front.
So Nima and Erica's condo. Nima is packing, you know, and then he goes into his thing with us. He's like,
well my parents, you know, getting divorced is such a young, when I was so young,
really has had an effect on my life because I try to make every girl my family
and I need to change that so I'm not always watching relationships fall apart.
I'm like, wait a second. Trying to make... that's not what happened with the...
What are you just saying about that? He's just too virtuous.
Yeah, he's just too good of a soul to have a healthy relationship and I like he's basically like I need to he's essentially saying I need to I need to like stop the cycle
I need to fix this pattern. So what does he do? He calls up Mike Mike's like well, you know what hey bro
Life is like a progression bro like it's a progression. We have to just like move forward
Even it's like point one percent like don't be in a rush figure it out in one day. Okay, like some of us still never have to get it out
Like I think I'm getting a vacuum cleaner. I don't know
Mike who's living in a house full of boxes for like three months
They keep showing him a sleep in this house. It's just all boxes and dogs everywhere
They're just looking and I'm like, please let us go outside. Please
and dogs everywhere. They're just looking at me and I'm like, please let us go outside. Please.
So speaking of hardly progressing at all, we meet Mike's new girlfriend.
I think we saw her like a little bit last season actually, right? Didn't we see like a date or two last season?
Oh, I don't know. I think so.
I have to say... It's hard to believe that someone was such a magnetic personality would be forgettable. I
Do have to say last week I was like that girl's best did because I only saw her on
Like a flash of the preview. I think she's very pretty now useful. I don't know
But she's on her so on on the kitchen counter inside like texting on her phone and might cause and he's like I'm on my way babe. She's like okay
Driving this big truck up the hill and totally side swipes the shit out of a car
Yeah, exactly and then and then he's like oh man. Oh man, and she's like yeah
Whatever and she's like like just like still on Snapchat or something. Yeah. I'm like, no, this looks,
I, by the way, like, I mean,
I mean, like, Mike, come on.
Mike, Mike.
He goes, I have such a,
I'm not going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I mean, come on.
He's like, I have such a dope thing going on with her.
She's like my best friend,
and I can share my deepest, darkest secrets,
but I'm taking a slow.
I'm getting to know, what are you talking talking about she's in your kitchen while you're not
there so that's the very least she has keys this is this is by the way when Mike
revealed his like hot interview look and I was like don't don't be hot right
now don't be hot I'm trying to get annoyed at you did you see what part of
town they were in cuz I'm trying to figure it out cuz he said you know I thought of town they were in? Cause I'm trying to figure it out. Cause he said, you know, I thought about it. I thought
about looking at the signs and Googling. And I was like, I can't, I can't devote this
energy to it. I can't devote energy into where Morgan might be at any given time in history.
But they showed the sign when they were feeding the homeless or when they were feeding the homeless blankets
But like you would do that. Yeah open up open up
My block is full of million dollar homes, you know, but right down the right down the block for me are tense
So I'm giving them blankets myself
right down the block for me are tense. So I'm giving them blankets myself.
Okay, I think this is fishy.
I'm not sure what's in those boxes,
but I think Mike has some new like fishy business.
And I'm never gonna know what's gonna ever know
if I'm right or wrong for like a few years.
We have to wait till it pans out, okay?
But I want you guys to remember I said this.
Those boxes are fishy, there's something going on.
Yeah, well, I'll tell you what's really fishy about those boxes is that we see him stack
them all up and then he drives to like the distribution place and they open up the back
and they've like sort of like fallen over a little bit and Morgan goes, they all shifted.
I don't know why it cracked me up like this like salient observation from Morgan.
I'm really happy for Morgan.
Like I'm happy that she's here.
I think she's gonna be really funny.
She will be funny and I appreciate it that she bled all over the boxes.
Yeah, he's like, oh my god are you bleeding?
She's like, uh, happens.
You know, stick modder, it happens. He's like, whoa.
So this is like a housewife scene where they're all going to be charitable for five minutes.
So they do that. And Mike's like, you know, GG and MJ, like they can't distract us with their fighting.
Okay, this is only for the real people, for the real charity.
Okay, Mike.
Everyone involved in the scene has seen things
much worse than MJ and GG fighting, you know.
So GG shows up at some mansion,
and it turns out to be that zen place.
By the way, I'm so ashamed of ourselves
that we had an entire scene in Skid Row.
We didn't even sing a little shop of horrors.
I mean, that just shows what this show can do to us.
Well, listen, Skid Row and Little Shop of Horrors
is way more adorable than Real Skid Row.
Okay?
I don't want to sing anything but get me the fuck out of here when I'm in the Real Skid Row,
okay?
A LONG GOES OFF AT SEVEN AND MY KISS SIDE SWAPED MY CAR!
Someone tried to feed me a blanket and a baby shoe was on my phone.
Sing it sister.
It's not here.
Let me go.
Down the block.
That's a pain. We're feeling the homeless. Are you feeling babies? No! Poor. On my life, five of us has always been poor.
I keep asking God what I'm poor.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby.
I'm not a poor baby. I'm not a poor baby. I'm not a poor baby. I'm not a poor baby. I'm not a poor baby. Oh, poor. On my life, five of us being poor.
I keep asking God what I'm for.
And he says,
He gives me sweet presents for you.
You never having a baby.
Oh, he's got that floor at him.
Oh, guys, okay, so sure.
Yeah, we're going to do a different version of that song.
So meditation garden, not featuring David Sunshine.
Yeah, meditation garden.
And you know, it is always best to meditate outside of Banshin.
I mean, that's really where you feel most peaceful.
Yeah, I agree.
We're a Chick-fil-A.
You know, you're more comfortable. MJ
decides to make a layover in the garden on route to her future safari wherever she's headed.
I wrote she looks like the guy in curious George. She looks like she's auditioning to be
crocodile hunter. But like a lazy version. She's like just it's in a chair. I was like I think
I can get the crocodile over there guys. And the way she's like just it's in a chair. I was like I think I'll crack it up over there guys
And the way she's walking down the stairs because she can't move in that outfit. It's like
Like teetering down the stairs. Yeah, she's not and you know
She'd never get close to any animal she were doing crocodile hunter cuz Vita would be like what you do that? What no look?
Em yay, you're getting too close to it. No, you are too good for this alligator in J
Oh, you know teach me a battery alligator. You know you know me a battery Gator wait until you see the new Vita
She is hilarious. She's all positive now. It's so funny
She's like taking cooking classes with Tommy.
It's amazing.
Okay.
So, I mean, she's still horrible to MJ, though.
So it's working.
So, anyway, there are just meditations.
There are MGGs there first, and she's sitting there watching MJ teeter down the stairs.
And she's like, babe, why don't you take a seat in the world's most uncomfortable chair?
She's like, okay, I'm trying
I believe the most uncomfortable chair is probably at Mike's house where he probably found some like wire hanger that has been repurposed into like an alleged chair
Dude is so cool. I've invested all my money into it
This is all over
So Gigi just looks at her because Gigi's ready to cut.
So she's like, how you been?
And Andrea goes, ups, downs.
I saw her in the previous year.
I don't know why that made me laugh so hard.
So Gigi's like, even though she hurt me,
there was a friendship and love before they heard.
And right now, we could use some positive energy.
So it's good that we're in a meditation garden. So they just stare at each other waiting for one to apologize. Which was and we did get a
wonderful flashback of MJ and GG playing ping pong against Vita, which is always it's always
important to remember that scene. Yeah, they're basically, you know, they did the usual thing of like,
listen, I have great love for you. Do you feel that way for me?
And she's like, oh yeah, I do.
It's like, okay.
So now that we know that, let's start fighting.
So basically, MJ is like, you know, I didn't like the shade that you gave me because I guess
that we just see a flashback.
I guess that this happened in Big Bear where Gigi said to MJ, how do you feel about having
a made up honor that has to take inside of you, which I guess is a reference to Resa.
Yeah. I mean that's why MJ
I guess did all that shady stuff that that we saw that you told me about
Yeah, retaliation and you're just trying to make Gigi go crazy. Yeah, and Gigi's like you know what?
I get ugly, but you get nasty. I'm like, hmm. I think you guys are pretty much both like just
Down in the mud like yeah, you're both pretty much both like just down in the mud.
Yeah, you're both girls, stop fighting, you're both petty.
Yeah, you're both, you're both horrible.
And then she goes into a rage because MJ, MJ's way of taking responsibility.
Gigi's like, why would you go so low to hurt me?
And then MJ just gets this really confused look on her face.
And then she goes, but your husband's past is your
husband's past was the big deal.
And she's like, I'm not doing this!
Steping up my husband!
You know, Gigi starts going into her rage.
And she goes, you know, everything you do in the next
year, I'm gonna shit all over it.
And then she starts taking off leaves and throwing him
an MJ's face.
And she's like, all part of it.
Oh! I get starts here with these flower petals.
Take the flower petals.
Yeah, flower buds.
And MJ's just like on her phone, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, how about you take up your ring?
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
MJ is actually like, she's barely suppressing her laughter, which meant that either she thought
this was, this was ridiculous or this entire scene was fake.
But either way, she finally got a decent prescription to Xanax.
Yeah.
So finally, after she's had like three geraniums, like thrown at her face, she's just like, you know what?
We both heard each other, like, you know, like, I do something that I think is funny,
and you say, you're like, oh, but it hurt me. And then you do do something and that you think it's funny, but I'm like, it hurt me.
So how about next time I would do something we'll pull each other to the side and be like,
hey, that hurt me.
Yeah.
I'm like, good luck with that.
We'll see how that works.
I'm just like, we're like sisters and Gigi goes, are we sisters?
Because I would never put my sister in that position.
Um, do you remember threatening to stab your sister in the eye?
Yeah.
You would.
You totally would.
Speaking of, have you spoken to your sister? What was
last time? I don't think being Gigi's sister is an enviable aspiration. That's not the goal, okay?
Yeah. So, ultimately, Empty is like, I just love that crazy bitch. And then the ultimate
piece of offering is, so Gigi, maybe we should get some like trial says for your sideburns
She's like you need to wax that shit
She's like really that bad. Can we like French braid? Um, I'm like these people are fucking crazy
They are they are crazy, but but you know what's funny is that I didn't think that shot the episode was so great
But gosh, I had a really fun time talking about it. It was fun talking about, oh my god, pneumonia.
That's giving kill me for the whole season.
So before we wrap up the episode, it is our last episode of the week.
So let's do like a quick Craven's mailbag, shall we?
Let's do her.
I'm gonna take your time.
Did you get the music or no?
Yeah, I did. Oh, it's going to be bad. No, only one time mail bag.
I forgot I put on a repeat once. So the crap and mail tell everyone the crap and
mailbag is the crap and mailbag is where you guys write a smell. When you put it in
bag, we pull it out, we read it, and we
answer your questions. It's a Patreon level. If you want to do it,
go over to Patreon sign up at that Patreon level, and thank you
to everybody, you know, you've really changed our lives with this
Patreon. I'm not waiting for cables, and I'm so happy. So thank
you so much for that. And I'm not driving Uber or having to
write freelance reviews or rehab facilities
And we know that we're not doing that because of you, okay? Yeah, so don't think that we don't know we love you Yeah, we're very very appreciative truly
So the first question that comes from Kelly Payfer who says hi guys
Something about Ronnie Solo, Roni shows led me to this hypothetical question. Each of you are given the opportunity to do a serial slash S-Town style limited series
about a Bravo mystery.
You'll be provided with a team of researchers to dive in and try to find the real story.
What topic would you choose?
The first one I can think of, offhand, is Did Kyle really still at Kim's house?
And if so, how?
I'd love to hear your
picks looking forward to seeing you in New York City this October.
Well first of all I am working on something like that at my house but it doesn't involve housewives
but it is like a little serial type thing. If it was a housewives mystery which is actually a
really good idea I think I would do it a documentary on Taylor and Russell.
Armstool.
It's an incredibly dark chapter in the Bravo history,
but that's back when we started recapping,
when that was all going on.
And you know, I just figured it's just another
podcast nobody's ever going to hear this.
And some of the things that came out of my mouth
were pretty vile, but the lot that was going on at that time that was coming out on the blogs was just
so shady like Taylor was changing her names and then they were like con artists and they
kept like conning people together like an affair. And it was hard to tell what parts of that
was were true and false and then there was the abuse stuff obviously which is so dark
and horrible. And then there was when he died, there was talk that there was Russian mobsters involved
because he was in, he had some shady Russian dealings and then Scott, the guy from Ladies
of London, that girl has been, he wasn't killed that way, wasn't he thrown off a Chinese
or something?
Yeah, but he owed money to the mob.
It was like, yeah, they were in some similar circles.
And I've written that's always been really shady to me.
I've never been able to connect all those dots, but I think that that's a really
juicy story. All of that.
Yeah. Um, it's also funny because I also I'm doing a little side project,
but I can't really talk about it yet because I just
can't talk about it yet, but also about sort of investigations in this sort of world,
I should say, but not about Taylor and Russell. So it is funny as well.
Excuse me, are we both doing investigation shows on the side?
I think we both are.
What the hell? I told you mine first.
You can't do it. No, but mine's different than yours.
Yours is yours is yours is if I remember correctly what yours is yours.
No, you tell me. Don't you tell me.
I'm not going to tell I'm not going to say but I'm saying mine's different.
Okay. Mine wasn't even my idea.
I was brought on to something.
Oh.
So it wasn't even I couldn't even kill that too.
Kill all of them.
No, no, no, but mine is the one that I'm on is like a,
well, you'll see.
Hopefully you'll see, but we did the,
we did the first step, whatever.
So the point is, if I were to do a Bravo mystery,
a serial mystery type thing, I think, you know,
I mean, I might as well just like,
double down on what I said in the
New York episode, I would do it on what really happened between Lulana and Duranda on that phone call
that whether or not John was invited to the cabaret. Yeah, that's a good one. I don't know if you could
ever really get to the bottom of that either. And it seems like a smaller mystery, but I don't know
that there is a bottom to that because they both really are good
at sticking to their own delusional stories.
You know, I think there's also an investigation that would be worthwhile into looking at what
happened in the Dominican Republic when there was a giant brawl with the real house president
New Jersey.
A brawl so big and never aired and led to multiple lawsuits.
I would like to. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was the man's
boys throwing chickens at people. I mean, that was a crazy win. Yeah. What about Thomas
Ravanel? He's one big serial investigation. He's so obvious. So it's like he sold
Coke. Yeah. He got tons of coke for his friends. He was selling it to them and like, you know, he's one.
Was, um, was that one girl? Was the boring girl on gallery girls?
Was she secretly in escort? Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.
She was concierge on the side. That code.
High, that code. You know, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm still from the time where you just say how you know you just look at how and you find a hoe like
So the one more question Ali handro M says if the Roni cast past and present were in the movie clue
Who is each character? What are the motives who dies and who done it speaking of glue?
If you died Who done it? Speaking of glue. Um, if who died? Well, well, it's who died. If they're if the
Roni cast past and present, everyone who's been on Roni, potentially, who if they were
in the movie clue, if we recast the movie clue with people who are on real house, us in
New York, who is each character? One of the motives. Who dies and who done it? I feel like
Jules probably dies. Jules Weinstein. Okay, yeah, Jules dies.
She seems like the type that would probably get knocked off.
Well, but in the movie, Clue, okay, we have to think because the one who dies in the
movie is the one who had all the gossip on the people, right?
Mr. Body.
Yeah, but then it, see, I feel like we're going to get spoilers away if two people who haven't
seen Clue. We'll'll see clue already, okay?
Seeklue. Well, I mean the thing is I mean first of all like the real housewives kind of already gotten into their they already got into their murder mystery
You know personas so all of them they would be there
They'd all be there investigating maybe Simon. Maybe Simon would be the the corpse
Okay, yeah, Simon would be the corpse. Oh, yeah, because everybody wants to kill Simon
So the other one make it in movie. Maybe maybe
Brad on the way was really great
No, let's keep it Simon is the dead one. I think that Mr
I think that the Butler is tricky because that is a brilliant actor Kelly Benzmann
the Butler is tricky because that is a brilliant actor. Kelly Benzeman. Um, you're mad. You're sad. You're mad. You're sad. You're mad. You're sad. Yeah. Um, okay. So Kelly Benzeman is him.
It's Tim Curry. That's so we are so rude to Tim Curry. How could we?
Well, what other brilliant actor would there be to be Tim Curry? I mean, I think it's less about being a brilliant actor and more about do you have a
butler
Persona and I think Cindy bar shop could do that. Yeah, yeah, she shows up because she'd be like really yeah, she makes us stupid
Mrs. Peacock I think would be Carol
But she'd be like a really slow version of Mrs. Peacock, you know
Because Mrs. Peacock was always like trying to be really fashionable, but she looks super stupid
And then she was always talking about stuff that no one cared about
Miss Scarlet Miss Scarlet would be um, so yeah
Yeah, that's basically right.
Mrs. White. Mrs. White was the maid, right? So that would be like,
Kristen take minutes. Okay. Well, who is Madeline Khan? Wasn't she?
She was Miss Scarlett. Was she? No, Mrs. Scarlett is a lezzy and Warren.
You're right. And Mrs. Wyland, I believe, was Mabel and Con.
It's hard for me.
I get everything mixed up because growing up, my board, my copy of Clue was in addition
where all the characters, there were actors and there were photos of them.
And it wasn't like drawings.
So I'm talking about the movie, Clue.
No, I know, but I'm getting them all mixed up,
even though the pictures weren't famous people.
Like in my board game of clue, Mrs. White was like a maid
and like a little bonnet, like holding a candlestick
looking like sketchy.
So in my mind, I'm like, oh, well, the maid
in the movie was probably Mrs. White,
but it was, that's not true.
Oh, okay.
Well, let's see here.
I think Mrs. just widen this is
Mrs. White is Madeline Con. Yeah, I think this would be Bethany
Yeah, I was out of my face like seriously flames on the side of my face like I hated that much. Okay. I hate it so much
Flames on the side of my face. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna like tissue soft-strong and disposable. All right. Get rid of them. I feel like Lewand is Colonel mustard
possible. Alright, get rid of them. I feel like Lou Ann is Colonel mustard.
Yes.
The way I'm definitely Colonel mustard.
Not only because he's titled, but like she's she there is something like Martin
Mall about her, right?
Any vet was the maid.
So she was like sexy maid. Singing telegrams, Jules Weinstein. Yeah, so she was like a sexy maid.
Sinking telegrams, Jewels Weinstein.
Yeah, the singing telegram was true.
No, Chris and takeman.
Chris and takeman.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, yeah, I don't know what.
I'm not saying the box bang.
I don't remember who was, I don't remember who played, like Mr. Green and um, um, um,
Mr. Green was Michael McKeon. Oh
So he would be who do we have left in the little Alex?
New York. Well, who's Derinda then? I guess Derinda could also play she I think Derinda and
Ramona who's Ramona? Oh my god Ramona's to a new idea would be in this. She's like a chandelier. Yeah
Oh my god, we're a minus two and we're all be in this. She's like a chandelier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, the bonus, like one of those like secret passages
where like the wall swivels around.
Whoa.
I thought I was the bookcase, but I'm really a door.
Wow.
Wow.
Welcome, McKean.
So I feel like Michael McKean, I'm getting like, that's a little Carol Rads
well actually.
Oh, you already gave Carol Rads well as someone.
Yeah, she's missing.
Oh yeah, but I'm thinking that you could, I'm thinking you could move Carol over to
Mr. Green and then Durinda can take over Mrs. Peacock.
Yes, yes.
Because Mrs. Peacock, remember, she's like all nice. And then she goes, she's too crazy.
Like she gets so angry.
Who's Professor Plum?
Professor Plum is Christopher Lloyd.
Oh, that's Dorenda.
Oh, boy.
It's Christopher Lloyd.
Give maybe Jill Zaron is.
Oh my God, do not cast Jill Zaron and Cl. Okay. Who's one of my favorite movies forever?
I Jill cannot be in it. Okay. No Jill get out of my
my cord Alex McCord Alex McCord. Can we get out? Oh, no, what about oh Heather Thompson could totally be
Heather Thompson could be mr. Green and then Carol's back to Mrs. What I'm back to
Miss Peacock. Oh my god, we got to commit to this cast.
No, it's almost supposed to go into shooting.
I think it's all in place.
Okay, so let's review.
Okay, let's review.
See, and tell you, grab some tape.
Mrs. Peacock is.
Oh, Carol. Was worth is the Vajazzle lady.
Yes, yes, this is why it's Bethany Professor Professor
Plum is Serena.
Colonel mustard is Luan.
Colonel mustard is Luan.
Mr. Green is I forgot.
Heather Heather Thompson.
Miss Scarlet is Sonia
Bet the sexy maid is I
Think that would be Heather take man. Do we're the castor? No, I had no no Kelly Benson moan probably the sexy maid
But what about that there's like that burly chef
Chef. I'm even Dr. Cook. I'm Viva. Yes, I'm even Dr. I sure. And then Tristan Takeman was the singing telegram girl. Yeah, yeah. Done. Oh my god. That
was a lot of work, Mailbag. That was hard, but it really felt like it was
really worth it. Those were like, that was fun. All right, well, let's close it up.
close it up. Hey everybody, thank you so much for being here.
We sure love you, we will see you next week and for those of you coming to live shows
we'll see you in West Palm on Thursday night and Atlanta.
We will see you for two shows on Saturday.
Love you guys. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon
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