Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Shalom and Goodbye
Episode Date: October 2, 2017The gang heads to NY for GG’s chance at ruining theater forever, and it turns out Shalom is just as unbalanced as the rest. Phew. We were worried there for a second. Enjoy! **This week’s ...premium bonus is about our trip to Chicago! For bonus episodes and extras, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some
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We'll see you there! I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Christie dowry the OG Prem
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crap is the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on
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And here I am with my fresh, rested, gorgeously faced little band mantle curve, the beside vlog in the Vantor blender. Hello, Bing.
Oh, howdy, Ronnie. How are you doing? So good. Back in the kitchen, back in the kitchen back in where yeah, it's good to be back here back in LA after our wonderful week in Chicago.
We just recorded our bonus episode for our Patreon supporters and we talked extensively
about our entire week in Chicago with a few random tangents pertaining to air travel
and line the which the wardrobe. So that's
a super fun thing. If you want to your our entire breakdown of everything that happened
backstage after the show before the show, go check that out at patreon.com slash watch
for crap and also just want to say thank you for bearing with us for those people who
weren't able to make it to the show who we're watching on Facebook live and
We're listening to the the shows that we posted on our podcast feed. Thank you for bearing with us
We know they are not optimal quality. We are still getting the hang of doing live shows and
We had some audio clip issues. We had corrupt files, we had all sorts of stuff go wrong.
So we know it does not sound ideal.
We know it's really quiet and then really loud.
We're getting messages, we're getting tweets.
Believe us.
We notice even more.
Okay, so thank you so much.
And we're so horrifying to us.
And those live shows so much depends on the venue, you know, like it would be nice to
just maybe have two mics and just record our own audio while the show is going over the
speakers.
I don't know.
I don't know if that helps it because the thing is what makes it hard and we talked about
this on the bonus episode is that when the show gets rowdy or like when you know when
people are cheering, we have to speak louder and we want people
to cheer.
So what happens is that it's just, it's different and we're working on it and so we, you know,
people have been sending us messages like, I love you guys, but the audio is awful.
And it's like, yes, yes, we know we're hanging our heads in shame, but we're still really
glad that people are still listening and coming to our shows. And hey, if you come to the show,
you get to hear the proper audience.
Oh, yes, and also apologize for plugging these shows
every single day, but San Francisco's coming up.
We're almost sold out, you guys.
They just went on sale Friday,
or I think pre-sale Friday, whatever.
pre-sale is there.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
They went on sale.
They're almost sold out, get them.
There's less than 100 left as of early morning. So go get your tickets
Get them because when they're gone, they're gone and to get those just go to watch what crap hands.com
There's a ticket link up there or come to our Facebook Instagram, etc
etc
Yeah, and there's and sorry again, by the way, there's like
There's a convenience fee that's like something that's out of our hands
It's just by like that access does something that's out of our hands and just
by like that access does and it's obnoxious and we're sorry about that.
Just apologize for everything.
Welcome to watch our crowd.
You know what, let's get on to people that never apologize the right way for anything.
Are you talking about Caroline Fleming?
No, what the hell I was talking about those shots of sunset.
You want to start with Flelemmy Flemms?
I wanted to start with Caroline Flemmmy because by the time we get down the shaw, no one's gonna want to hear some clear the Flemms.
So why not start the week off with a nice big...
How lucky are you to have me teach you about me?
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. I'm going to have the lunch space anymore to do a Fleming laugh.
Yeah.
So the reason why we're doing a very special Carolina Fleming, on top of the fact that one
of our listeners that are show a requested that we do more of them
Caroline Flaming has a new cookbook out and I was very lucky how lucky am I to have received a cookbook from her to me
This is one I actually bought it. I did not receive this for free
I went on to Amazon and I pre-ordered
Caroline Flaming's cook yourself happy the Danish way.
And it arrived over the weekend,
and I have to say it is a Caroline Flamming explosion.
Like her Instagram has nothing on this cookbook.
It is the most amazing book I have ever read.
How lucky are you to have me explode on you with my cooking?
Yeah. So I kind of feel like I'm not going to read it the whole recipe, You to have me explode on you with my cooking
So I kind of feel like I'm not gonna read that the whole recipe, but the preambles before the recipe are amazing I love the preamble
Would you be mad if I just
Opened it up and I read something
Would I be made come on if I'm mad I'll eat myself happy
My Ronnie can there we go all right. So I'm now opened up page 152.
Bach Tosk, Mad, Sonop's boss, also known as Bayt cod with mustard sauce.
The less fancy way, hashtag less fancy, hashtag way, hashtag to say it.
hashtag less fancy hashtag way hashtag to say it. And I also want to say a lot of the rest of the business book do look quite delicious,
but the little blurbs that go with them are sometimes hilarious.
So here's this one.
When I hear the word card, I always think of my darling grandfather and him saying to be
eaten all the months that end with an hour. So September, October,
November and December. I always send loving thoughts to him when I make this very traditional
fish dish or any card dish as it is his favorite dish. Fish. Fish. His favorite dish, fish, hashtag, poet, hashtag, didn't know it.
Let's see, let's go to another one.
Actually, I'll do one from like the, from some of the introduction.
Let's see.
All right.
This is actually, I posted this on our Instagram, but it was worth reading.
As a child, I would often spend time with my mother and grandmother outdoors.
On weekends, we would go foraging for mushrooms or blueberry picking.
I remember sitting in the fields, eating glorious, crunchy, green peas,
feeling the warm breeze on my face, and loving the pea
shells and sent it air around me. A favorite pastime was climbing up our cherry tree, losing track
of the height as I searched for the next juicy cherry. I would sit there for hours, eating the
luscious dark cherries until my tummy hurt. On one occasion I had to be taken down by the fire brigade because I climb too high to be able to get down alone
the fire brigade
They're like oh no that girl has too much dark cherry in her
Hello, this is the fire brigade calling for backup
Please send the fire brigade and we love comptichies, please
Please send a fire brigade and we'll have come to cheese, please. There's a little girl with too many cherries.
I'm required warning on every farmhouse.
Warning, dark cherries.
Mate joke, child.
I could not stop climbing the trees with his dark cherries.
It was not quite as good as those fields with the center of pea shells all around, but it came close.
I don't have the book, so I am looking from the Amazon book description.
Food, family, and Denmark. Our Caroline's first loves.
And this is Echoed in the book.
She had one recipe in here about, she talked about sunshine, but we can revisit that. But here's
the great news, actually, is that if you want your own Caroline Flaming Cookbook, guess what? You
are in luck. We are doing a giveaway courtesy of Quarto Press,
which is what was releasing this glorious cookbook. And we have to, by the way, give a shout-out
to one of our listeners who went to Barnes Noble over the weekend and went to a signing and got
to meet Caroline Fleming in New York City. That was, that's awesome dedication. And there's a
picture of her and Caroline Fleming's grabbing her by the cheeks. I can cook those. Fleming, I looked inside the book because you can look inside,
and I love it says, cook yourself happy, and then the first picture is just her eating a salad.
Excuse me, ma'am. I don't know if you've ever seen Top Chef that that is not considered cooking,
okay? At least start it with the chicken.
that is not considered cooking, okay? At least start it with the chicken.
So anyway, if you want to win your own free copy,
just be sure to follow us on Instagram.
And then take a picture, post a photo on Instagram
of your most Caroline Fleming is thing.
It could be you doing yoga, it could be some food,
it could be you staring off.
At some unseen object while the sun hits your neck and give it a caption,
hashtag whatever you want, but make sure you follow us and hashtag,
cook yourself happy, and most importantly, hashtag,
crap ends flam. And you can also at us because that makes it easier.
You have to do hashtag crap ends flam because when we look to see who posted, when you're
going to click on that hashtag, and we're going to look at all the photos.
And when should we put a closing date on this on this contest, Ronnie?
Um, let's say what is today today is October 2nd.
Shall we say October 10th?
Okay.
You have until October 10th to post your photos,
hashtag crappensflem, and then we will whittle it down to three finalists,
we'll go through them on the air, and then we will choose a winner,
and you will get a free copy of this glorious cookbook, okay?
Winner winner chicken dinner, everybody.
Winner winner, doct dinner, everybody. Winner-winner, Doc Cherry, dinner.
Doc Cherry.
Clear the slam.
What?
All right.
All right, let's move on to some shawzer-surn certs.
Yes, the polar opposite of Carolina's plumbing.
These people always have too much dark cherry,
and they're always fine.
They're like, we had too much dark cherry and they're always fine
They're like we had too much cherry casia pooped
Then showed each other each other's poop and then drank and then ruined each other's lives on purpose for fun
I found a dark cherry I tried to climb up in the tree but I was like bitch who climbs in cherry trees
I'm climbing up in the tree because I was like bitch who climbs in the cherry trees? I'm climbing up the tree because that's so Jewish! I'm so jealous now! Motherfuck is sitting in a field eating peas, who eats peas
in a field? I climb into the cherry tree just like Prince. What up play up here? Hey guys,
anybody, any, any players out there out there where your ears burning last night,
every scene was like, what up player?
What up player?
Hey player?
What up player?
It's like, did this just hit little Armenia?
Like Toronto.
So, yeah, the episode opens up where we last left off, which is Tommy and MJ having a huge, huge,
huge fight.
And it's like, boy, I'm leaving him now.
And so he leaves and then music.
Never call me again or anything.
Just bounce.
Ah.
So I think just balancing is not a problem for MJ.
So then the music gets all serious.
It's like, and then it cuts to Universal City. ta, ta. And then it cuts to Universal City.
It's like a panoramic view of Universal City.
And I thought, is there any more appropriate image
for these people than a wide view of Universal City,
a sad, empty place that tourists get trapped in
and no locals ever go to?
The city walk.
The city walk, the Sheraton there's like that giant like a
neon ape that hangs over it's just not a good place hey baby it's a piano
walk but there's two pianos I wrote the title of the song that is playing right
now the sad song is called the shopocalypse. Because it really is like,
Okay, Tommy went out the sliding door and out the fire escape or whatever.
We're all going to be okay.
Well, the people of Universal City ever rebound.
I would love to thank the cameraman and editors for including another really long close-up shot of MJ's dirty ass fees.
Yeah, another can't go close up.
Clearly these editors do not like her.
That is how this starts. It's like sad music and MJ's dirty feet while she's in bed.
And then a close-up of her dog, Toya. It's like, what is Toya thinking?
It's like a big high-ron with Toya. And she's got the squinty Chihuahua eyes.
Like, maybe I'm crying, maybe I'm terrified,
maybe I'm tired.
Who knows, I'm a Chihuahua.
Toya is just trying to hit your ride to Austin's house
and she could be out of this mess.
She's like, well, Austin doesn't seem to be
on the show anymore, so maybe I'll just go hang out with her.
The dog's like, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe.
So the music gets happy because guess what,
Tommy's there. Thank God, because it might be cold and he's got a huge under the cover fart for MJ
It's like
So several
brass section of like the LA Phil was under there
Warming up
Music man
We got trouble right here in River City.
So she's kissing her and farting at the same time because it's the shots.
And it's like stop, stop.
And then it's a close up on Julio, the other dog.
What is Julio thinking? What the fuck you guys?
Since when do two dogs get separate kairons before anyone else even speaks on this show?
You know, they don't speak, but they say so much. They really do. two dogs get separate chai runs before anyone else even speaks on this show.
You know, they don't speak, but they say so much. They really do. Um, so MJ is saying and talking about like, you know, last night, Tommy, you were just like really coming at me so hard.
And it just was, you were really coming at me. And they just show this like, not just coming
right down her nostril. In case like, in case we couldn't have already been solied by
universal city and, and that dirty ankle
We had to take this show like one step lower. Yeah, dirty feet farting and MJ's not it's like classic shots
This first yeah, so she's like you behavior coming up me really hard
What stands between us?
You and me separately and deciding to get pregnant his name is father time
Okay, oh, I thought you were gonna say like a box of fish sticks you and me separately and deciding to get pregnant. His name is Father Time. Okay.
Oh, I thought you were gonna say like a box of fish sticks.
A pregnant box of fish sticks.
It's like the only thing that can get pregnant.
She keeps putting it between her and Tommy.
I was like, damn it did it again.
Keep falling for that one.
She's like, you know, we know what they say about fish
jigs only on month to end with an R okay just like my father said. They're
taking samples into the fertility doctor and they're like wait a minute this is a
fish stick. I gotta confuse again. It's like wait this this tartar sauce Tommy No, that's actually my semen
I know it's weird
What you want some farted sauce I got that on MJ's it's like okay enough so MJ's like MJ goes in all honesty
This is so funny with MJ like doesn't remember last night. I'm sorry that they took fish jicks into the fertility doc
I'm sorry that they took fish chicks into the fertility dock
He's just like grabbing whatever heat cabs copperware
Okay, go on his comments and like some old copperware in the fridge
So mj's like Tommy
Have you seen anything in me as a person that shows neglect of love for the people we care about. It's called last night, bitch.
How much time you got and do I get the answer?
So she decided they're going to make a commitment to be healthy adults so that way they could
be there for their children.
Yeah, we start by drawing on the wall, you know, as anybody makes a list, drawing on our
wall, as any adult will do they are going to draw on the wall. So MJ, like MJ is like
first affirmation for the future. She goes, she writes, let's go, that's hashtag 2017.
Well, she's learning how to be in a relationship with somebody, you know, give him a little
of what he wants. So we can pay attention to the other things.
Yeah, exactly.
I see Matt, so I don't have a baby.
It's like, okay, that's all you have to do the whole time.
Yeah, exactly.
So, so we need to take a baby parenting class.
Okay, that's a good step. And then she writes 1B.
She's gonna outline this motherfucker.
So she's like, yeah, she's like one B, diet and exercise.
And he's like, I think that needs its own.
Yeah, they're gonna have a goal of trying to be sober.
They're gonna have a sobriety goal, which is clearly never going to happen.
And then she's like, and last but most important, nothing comes before
our marriage. Like, oh, yeah, we should get married. Except the one with a bastard kid.
Yeah. And also, and also the meds comes before your marriage on that list.
Like number one is go meds. The last thing on there is get married. Yeah. You didn't even put get married on there.
I don't want to have a bastard.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I kind of skipped over that.
You said then we got to Mike showing up at a lawyer's office.
And you know, this is something that really annoyed me.
And it's so stupid.
It's really not.
This is more about me and less about Mike is that he shook hands.
They're sectionist and the way he shook hands, that he came up and over her computer screen,
and his server was over and then down and,
you know, like you're landing in LaGuardia
speaking of Queen's The Metz.
And I'm like, why would you do that?
Why would you go over the computer screen?
Like go to the side, that's strange.
It's typical for a man always getting his hand caught
in the cookie jar, like going over.
But also he comes in, he's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, still with his sunglasses. Over comes in, he's like, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, still with the sunglasses over the screen. He's like, hey, hey, I'm Mike
for the doctor, for doctor Instagram. And she's like, okay, what is this? Someone's garage.
Like, every business we go to, yeah, every, every business they go to that their friend's
own is in some garage downtown. Yeah. It's like, you know what you have to do is that when I shake my hand
strangely over your computer, you have to just smile because that's what a man wants.
And that's what you need. If you want to make this relationship work, I don't know
if you want to make this relationship work, but the longer you don't make it work,
receptionists, those are like times and hours that we can't have to get together.
And then by the time you want to have this handshake with me, it's too late.
It's too late.
Now how does my great eyeshadow look?
I mean, Mike is really a drag queen from that place on La Brea.
The Plaza has that what it's called?
Yeah, I've never been there, but yes, I'm a pro.
It's so fun.
It's like drag queens from Mexico.
He's really starting to look like a Mexican drag queen.
Now he's just wearing great eyeshadow shadow and like glue on eyelashes.
Yeah, his entire beard looks like it's fake.
And the thing is at one point during the show,
they must have done a pickup where he was being interviewed
and his beard, it wasn't so much beard as more stubble.
And he looked actually really cute.
I'm like Mike, this is the look you need to go for.
You can't have this like dyed black intense,
you know, intensely shaped beard with a guy liner. And even if by the way, even if it's not dyed black, intensely shaped, beard with the guy liner.
And even if by the way, even if it's not dyed black,
and even if you don't have guy liner,
this is the way it's presenting on camera.
So it's not even guy liner anymore.
It's full on eyeshadow now, which, you know, I, okay.
But also, I noticed that clip, you mean that interview clip.
And it looks like from the season where he was actually
saying something about
GG going crazy. I think it might have been from a different season. That would be crazy.
Because he looks totally different now and they showed a clip later when he's like,
oh my relationship with Jessica, like he remembers it like it was the notebook and it was just like
awful awkward scene after awkward scene over and over and it looks like a different. I remember
thinking, God, he looks so young and cuteish,
comparatively.
So I think they just stole from that season.
Maybe they did.
I mean, I don't know.
I mean, everything seems to kick off the just
when I was in love, Jessica Montage.
I feel like every single scene, he goes to the supermarket.
He finds some Cheetos.
He's like Cheetos, just like a Cheeto, and Jessica.
We've had enough.
She's my best friend.
And it's like, we see the whole clip,eto and Jessica. We were in love, she's my best friend, and it's like,
we see the whole clip, but then smiling at each other,
and him hugging her on the beach after she was converting to Judaism,
like over and over and over again.
Yeah, let me give you some advice, bro.
It's not easy, being cheesy, okay?
Hiya!
Hiya!
Bro, bro, one step forward, two steps back.
Okay, no, that's a different, that's an entirely different cat.
You go upstairs, we come downstairs.
Like, well, yo bro, tell it to my heart.
Tell me I'm the only one.
Is this really love with just a game, you know?
That would actually be infusing art into something from Mike, the idiot.
So it's sad music playing again, the shopocalypse or whatever.
And Mike is like, in California, there's a law
it's called the cooling period.
And it's for six months, you can decide
if you really want to get divorced.
Hey, how about a six months cooling period
after you get engaged?
Like before you can even get married,
you have to go through six months.
And then if you still want to get married to Mike
after six months, you deserve what you get and there's no going back, okay?
Yeah, I think that's I think that's a pretty solid theory. I think there are a lot of
aspects of this show that need a cooling period, you know, like, cooling period in between,
I don't know, like going to MJ's house. Like, maybe you need a cooling period before you go back.
Cooling period between a sperm sample request and an invitation for fish sticks and MJ's.
Cooling period between going to a party where there were women walking around with lampshades
and like talking about what women should be doing with their lives.
Maybe that would be a good time to have a cooling grid.
Oh my god.
So the lawyer's like, okay, it's like the garage door goes up.
Broom.
It's like, come in, Mike.
So Mike goes in and he's like, God, this is crazy.
Justice attorney made it more difficult than it should have been.
Yeah.
Because you know his ass was probably trying to get some of that sweet family
just a company.
Yeah. And Mike, Mike is, of course, being like, Yeah, because you know his ass was probably trying to get some of that sweet family just to come money
Yeah, and you know Mike Mike is of course being like rabbi Mike and he's being all
Reflective and philosophical. It's like you know, I just think about the past and I think about those things But I can't change it. I can't change the past. It's like yes, Mike
Congratulations for having one of the most trite and cliche observations about life
I remember when they had this wedding and we said,
and I remember, because I saw the clip again
in this sad montage, but I remembered that we said,
is that the church from Kill Bill?
Because remember, they got married in like El Paso, Texas
at that little church and like the desert or whatever.
And here we are.
We need to this wouldn't work work just from your wedding set.
So so Mike, he signs a thing and they say, okay, in like six months,
we'll probably finalize the judgment. Yada, yada, yada. He leaves the garage.
New music is like, it's more shapocalypse music. And then all of a sudden, it's like,
we're going to New York, everyone. By the way, just how we're going to go to New York.
And we just said we're going to have a cast trip.
And I have to mention since you mentioned
the over the computer monitor handshake,
one of the clips, Mike's with Jessica,
where he's like, things used to be so great,
but everyone in marriage understands marriage is hard.
And she's like, get off your phone while we eat, Mike.
And then they have a close up of Mike eating.
And he's eating with his fork,
held in his whole fist, backwards.
You know, like upside down.
Lookin' caveman.
Okay, New York.
New York, New York.
And so we see everyone at LAX, it's the usual bravo.
Like, we're flying somewhere, cellphone footage.
Tommy is walking around in this like brown bodysuit.
I didn't even know how to describe it.
I said he looked like a brown bony without a mask on or like a monk in a pantsuit
He's into one sees because he has a classic one seed later in this episode, too. Yeah, but this is just like a big
brown valour
Thing and it actually looked very comfy and actually really cute, but it's probably a furry
Would it shock you would it shock you to find out that MJ makes Tommy dresses like the good time bear or
whatever? No, not really because he that's all he was missing was like a bear
mask, you know, he was like it's like pattington bear or something or the
country time gemberry. It's like,
we're being bruh. The country time time Marie That went into Shannon Bador territory. Whoa
Whoa, that's been missing
I've been laughing about that all weekend standing in her spin machine. So Mike's like, you know
Some people don't understand about marriage, but when it ends and you go to New York with your crew you realize well, this is my crew
Okay, Mike, thanks. They're like keep it talking Mike. Just keep it keep keep the mic on on Mike. Okay guys
The agent's like yeah, we really don't care. It's not your turn time to board. Please go step over there by the pillar
Resus like Gigi and Shalom are coming. Oh fucking. He's like doing the
the
Fucking the air thing
Reson. Yeah.
Cassie is over.
Let's do it. Let's join the mile high club. That's so pushing to be mile high. Like
why people were like let's be like like a kilometer high but we want to be like
mile high. Because that's what you wish people do. I'm so Jewish!
So they all get to New York. It's freezing out. They get to a townhouse.
And in this townhouse, there's this house concierge named Georgia. And poor girls, she will never
be the same. She will never, ever, ever be the same. This is a full on. She's going to go through
her a one woman, you know, Edward Albe play where she goes in. Think it's just a simple night of
pouring champagne for people. And she's going to be carrying in the one woman, you know, Edward Albe play where she goes in, think it's just a simple night of pouring champagne for people and she's going to be carrying
in the corner by the time it's over.
Yeah, she's going to be dead by the end.
Yeah, it's like a slow fade to black at the end.
Just Georgia and a special fading away.
She's going to be like living in her own singular version of the strangers, you know.
And he's like, you know, you know, when you have a concierge, the person's do it right. You can order food, drinks, like, uh, hi.
That's how it comes to people.
Oh, sir, white people get that.
Or black people, really anybody, anybody with a concierge kind of gets that.
Yeah, that's sort of what a concierge does.
They do things for you.
They're like, okay, can you get Chinese food?
Whoa, this concierge.
The Chinese food, where did they even order that from?
Because the Chinese food guy was like,
King of Pow Chicken?
I'm like, no.
You're the guy from the Chinese restaurant.
I don't know, but it made me hungry
and I just went to Genghis Khan fried at night
and I had Chinese food.
Genghis Khan won my favorite restaurant in LA.
Anyone who comes to LA if you like Chinese food,
go to Genghis Khan.
Sorry.
To be fair, They probably did order
King pow chicken. It's like no not Kong
King. Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't know it's wrong. I'm king. You know you have that dual chicken. What?
Hot and dual soup, but
One chicken to soup
Chicken to do so I have the Peking duel what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure what I'm not sure Bork you Right after someone's like oh god, I hope we don't have to hear Tommy and MJ
Boning and he's like let's Bork
So they're all they're eating their Chinese food and they're drinking and Mike just on these starts going off on Asa
Because he's saying he starts talking about how um because Adam and Resor are gonna go see a rap
I have the next day and so
Res is like hey, listen to this.
Mike says that we should be married again by a rabbi
because at least a rabbi is honest.
And so then Mike's like, yeah,
because Asa's like fucking liar.
Like she's super, she's not honest, she's not honest.
I'm like, why are you caught up on this?
Like relax.
Wait a turn, Judaism into your ish with fucking Asa. Well, this show is like housewise where they all every fight has to do with one of the earlier fights, you know, so you have to like know the history of, you know, the way I'm not getting a free dress from Caroline's
designer friend or what are Carol's right. Right. Right. Right. So this one, I actually forgot about this, but apparently Mike is still mad because
Asa won't share anything with him or anybody else, but then when he was having problems
with Jessica, she made him talk about it on camera, which I guess kind of makes sense,
but let's see.
The difference is you were cheating on your girlfriend and she was trying to help you apologize.
Yeah. And her boyfriend just doesn't want to be on your
shitty show because it's tacky as hell.
Exactly. And he's from an established family, which has its own,
has their own issues admittedly, but still.
So, so, so Mike's going off on awesome.
And Adam and Gigi are like sensible.
Adam's like, can we just be happy for her?
She's praying in for Christ's sake.
And Gigi's like, I think she just wants to keep her private.
She's like, I'm Gigi.
And don't make me the voice of reason here, you know?
But then Mike's like, well, then don't tell her to come to my house
and ask 150 million questions about my relationship.
And then they cut to the scene of Assa with Mike being like,
Mike, these things you're saying about Jessica?
You have to tell her that.
She has to hear it.
Babe, why don't you write email? Remember those things you were telling me Jessica? You have to tell her that. She has to hear it. Babe, why don't you write an email?
Remember those things you were telling me? Why didn't email?
I'm like, that was a perfectly benign scene.
It was fine. She was trying to help you.
I know. Everything they're doing with Asa this year,
she really didn't do anything wrong.
I mean, look, Asa can be a noxious as hell.
Lord knows I've loved making fun of her.
There's a lot you can get on Asa about,
but not telling you that she went to the fertility clinic is not really one of those things.
You I understand how it's annoying. I understand the like like that's bullshit like we were talking about this
I didn't even say anything all this time. Yes, I can see how it's annoying
But like you said before I can also understand her side which is like these people are trash and I don't want to like
I don't want to I'm not giving them this
either way they cut from that thing with him talking to Asa to him going all I was doing was trying to help you Asa
like I was just trying to be a good friend no you weren't you were saying she's having some black bastard baby and everyone's gonna be pissed
like we saw the episode what the hell I mean admittedly Asa goes we're grown fucking people. Why can't you focus on your own lives
So that's where she's more hypocritical because if anyone likes to focus on other people's lives, it's Asa
But I agree it's like not that big of a deal. I
Just I've been waiting for Asa to get her turn because everybody gets her turn on this show to just be abused like group abused with the
Captain Reza at the helm And I just wanted them to
get her on something good, you know, like tax fraud on a charity or I don't know. There's
gotta be something good. Maybe she's a dude. Like I don't know. Well, she must have pissed
you must have pissed off the producers because this was the second episode in a row that
she wasn't even on. And that's a little unheard heard of with a cast member, usually if
someone would like to get on some pregnant baby not my pregnant baby baby but normally they would like cut to like one scene of her like
watering a plant like babe it's my plant like when I'm praying like when I'm when my my son comes
in this world he's gonna be watering a plant it's like I'm it's like I'm watering my plant
and my plant is my son we're all gonna fight with also because she got to pre-board
We're all gonna fight with also because she got to pre-board. Like good.
That's at least a good reason to be resentful.
So now we are starting to find some weird things out.
Weird stuff about Shalom.
So he is the fact that he dates GG.
Yes, exactly.
So he really doesn't like that GG has to get sick on the stage and he's simmering there
in the corner
Oh, and by the way, this is when the Chinese food arrives, because when the Chinese food arrives, Raze goes
Hell yes!
Hell to the yes, bitch white girl!
Like everything that came out of Raze's mouth this time was trying to be like a Raze Obump or sticker
So they're asking Shalom and Gigi how they first met
and apparently she went with a J-Date
because she couldn't find any like elsewhere.
So she came to my people, J-Date.
Who hasn't tried J-Date out?
At least a couple of times.
Yeah, and so Reza starts toasting to Gigi
and he's like, I just wanna toast to you
because you came from a really dark place.
To a much better place now,
which is my way of saying, you're on my side, right, against Asa, right?
Right?
You're in much more inclusive place.
Okay, thanks for making this like a gay pride speech.
Yeah.
A more inclusive place.
She was threatening to stab people.
Yeah.
Yeah. He's like cheers and he goes she's been trying but let's not get it twisted okay
white girl. She's like four seconds away from ripping someone's throat out at
every single moment. But I think I can turn her against us so tall with it.
So MJ I just wrote down this quote from MJ,
because I thought it was funny, because they're in the middle of eating and MJ goes,
does anyone want something from nachos?
I didn't even know the restaurant on the queue already.
Love this.
She probably thinks wontons are nachos.
She's like, these nachos keep trying to tell me things.
Guys, my, uh, my nacho, I think it's old.
It's turn green and floppy.
They're like, no, you're holding a lettuce cup.
These nachos gave me its phone number.
Like, that's the lucky numbers.
So, Gigi and Salome and Adam start talking about this play.
And Gigi's so ignorant.
This is like, everybody who's ever done community theater knows this girl
Who's like I have to kiss a boy. I hope my boyfriend's not jealous
Of course alone is very jealous. Yeah, and he's like
Adam's like come on support your woman just because she's
Okay, whatever just support your woman. He's like like why don't you support your man kissing another man?
Yeah, he does help pay for his 24 hour fitness a steep room pass
So then Shalom is getting mad because GG GG kiss the actress and then I had to kiss after that
I have to kiss I have to kiss that after that
So I didn't know until today and he like cats gets up. He's like, I'm gonna leave.
I'm shallow. I'm leaving.
Because shallow means hello and goodbye.
I'm coming. I'm going.
Shalom, Shalom.
Don't call. Geez. Which one are we getting today?
So he's getting all mad.
And of course, Mike is, he tells Gigi he's like,
the man is telling you, I'm jealous.
That's what the man is saying.
And like, you're after catered to that.
You have to make him feel better.
Because he's saying he's jealous.
I'm like, fuck you, Mike you my fuck you that is his love language
You know when he puts your head through a play glass window. He's saying you know, he's just jealous
He wants you to be more like see through like the window
And I'll let you say what Mike's true piece of sage advice was. Oh my god. He goes look
You got to ask yourself is my ego my amigo
What a fucking idiot what like we're like was was he listening to us or face Marion Christian center Whatever like what is Marion Williamson?
Mariam Williamson. Yeah, no no bad is like doof chicken doof for the soul
I mean, it's my ego, my ego.
Like, I'm not sure at this point.
He's trying so hard, bless his heart.
He's like, well, if the baby shoes don't work out, I always have Instagram meme advice.
Um, although I have to think the listener who posted on our Facebook that she
Googled Mike's shoes
and they're just all rip-offs from the baby gap.
Yeah, from like old Navy, etc.
Yeah, like exact rip-off, Marcus and baby shoes.
Well, he puts the mark in Marcus' in.
So, so yeah, Mike is continuing on with his sage, sage advice.
He's like, you want a dominant guy? You have to fucking kiss his ass.
Like no, like a dominant, you don't have to kiss the ass
of a dominant guy.
Like it's one thing to be dominant.
It's another thing to be to have like no self-confidence
or to be insecure or whatever to act like a total boor.
Okay.
Yeah.
And yeah, he's like, you know, you know, this is the
man language. And, uh, see, because so I have to cater to a baby. And I'm just like,
if I knew a baby got catering out of gotten pregnant, my 20s.
So, I have to write that one down. It was stupid to let it go. So right. But seriously,
Ronnie, though, actually, one thing I want to ask, though, because this scene
did bring up something that I thought was really a question that I think really is worth
delving into, which is, I mean, Ronnie, what do you think?
Is your amigo your amigo?
Hey, is your amigo your amigo?
Hey, is your ego your amigo? Hey, is your id your kid?
Hey, is your pride a slide?
I love slides.
Hey, is your are your emotions like emotions?
Maybe not about the size of your ego. It's about the motion of your ego is about the motion of your oceans
ego. Wait a minute. You're stretching their mic. You're stretching there. This is so
offensive to me that this guy is blatantly abusive and deranged in every sense of the
word. And even the girls are like, yeah, just say you're sorry. Yeah, you know, because I get it, I understand there is like, you know, I don't, I don't knock
someone who wants to be with a dominant man who wants a guy to sort of make decisions. There is
like a sexy manliness that caters to, you know, traditional gender stereotypes. But still,
there is some, you know, I get that. I don't like to grudge someone wants to be dominant, but just
because you're dominant doesn't you have to be an asshole?
You know, he's like flipping off the cameras. He's like you want more cameras. You want more
Emerson's like no, don't leave. We want to spend time with you
No, she'll I'm like that's the point. I'm out of here. We want to get as much of this on cameras possible
So next to you when I'm saying you're an abusive husband. I have evidence
possible. So next year when I'm saying you're an abusive husband, I have evidence. He's like, I don't know why I know that I'm right by leaving right now, but I know that
I'm right. And it was the best movie could have made. And then she's like, I'm like a, I'm
like a goose. I know it's time for me to flee somewhere. It's time. It's winter. I have
to be out of the city. I'll just go south winged my winged Shalom migration And then GG is putting on her stupid eggs and she can't find the proper matching eggs
Thankfully, she's got two terrible pairs of eggs. Yeah makes it match
So she's she's using this as a cigarette break. They're like go chase her. I mean go chase alone go chase them
She's like, okay, let me get a cigarette
That's like such a good way to make up that's so me making up like I might as well get my smoke break out of this
I'm not going down those stairs twice. I like that just even Gigi's shoes try to get out of there like
We're literally called oh let's go
Even Gigi's shoes know that they're a terrible pair
The shoe is like I can either stay here or I could be put into a vat of dip I'll take the
dip bye I'm basically gonna be inside MJ stomach like zone in the well but I'll do it so
outside Mike is like trying to talk Shalom off the ledge he's like I don't even remember what he's
saying but it's probably something like bro you goes me goes taxi flaxi I don't know what flaxis are
but I know the flaxi's are.
And the seed of your relationship can't be Flax.
It's gotta be Lax.
It's gotta be Relax.
Play, uh, so inside M.T. is like, well, why would he so mad?
Is that your first conversation about that play?
Girl, that was everybody's first conversation about this play.
Who's conversing about this play?
The only people who even know about it are people
who watch housewives shows, you know,
watch shows.
So Gigi's like, it's about sex, you know,
he should have known.
It's like, what is every sex ed teacher get a past
to cheat just because that's what they're talking about
during the day?
Come on Gigi.
So Shalom comes back inside and he's drunk
and he's starting yelling yelling stuff about money and
Gigi's like why are you upset and he's like what do you mean? I'm white. What would you mean in my upset?
Are you broke? You don't have money?
Where you have to do this you have to do the stupid play you have done the money for it. You can't do it like
And Mike is like dude Gigi fuck the play you man's got money he'll take
care of you like shot the fuck up you take your amigo ego and send it off the
Brooklyn Bridge because that is bullshit yeah you were fucking disgusting and
you don't get to just say sexist shit and massage and stick shit just because
you're wearing eye shadow now, okay? Asshole. And Gigi's like, well, just tell me, I don't understand.
You broke, you broke, and then it cuts to Reza eating while he watches the show.
His 10th egg roll.
And by the way, that would be me too, because I love missile egg rolls.
Gingpo!
So MJ's like Persian men are controlling assholes, okay?
It's a nightmare for a liberated woman like me or GG.
They're just too regular, you know, I want to say Rachel Carson, but she was not Betty
for Dan.
Sorry, Rachel.
I always go to the revolution.
Yeah, I always go to my good old glorious tiniest, but honey, you never burned a
bra. The bars, the bras are burning themselves. It's like, get me off of her.
Get me off.
So then Gigi is like, you know, acting is the one thing that has kept me sane.
We'll also, you know, appearing in, you know, fashion shows where we're
garbage bags.
But acting, acting, and I'm getting no respect, and she loves like, what?
I don't know.
He's like, so he's not paying attention.
It's not about money.
You know how hard I've worked.
I get no respect.
As if I'm some slut who just wants to tongue, tongue someone on stage.
I'm like, okay, there's so much wrong.
There's so much to pick apart, but I just love how Gigi's making it like,
you know how hard I've worked.
Yeah, yeah, she's like, I get no respect.
I mean, I feel like, I feel like sometimes I'm in danger.
I'm just like in some giant field of danger.
Like you can just call me like Mrs. Dangerfield.
I get no respect.
You know how hard I've worked on my acting?
It's like Sophie's multiple choice right now.
So, Ressa's like, make up with Shalom.
I like him.
He's a good guy.
Yeah.
And Shalom's like, look, I'm not going to be a bitch on a leash.
Like I'm the one who goes to hell.
I'm not like all the other ones.
I go to hell for you.
I'm not like the nice guys. And then Mike to hell for you. I'm not like the nice guys and
then and then Mike is like yo I got your back player. I got your back player. Give her money.
She doesn't have to work anymore. No more play stupid woman having ambition. No.
Oh, and so long keeps going. I gave up my family. Okay. I gave up my family for you.
And she's like what the hell?
I asked him if me not being a Jew was a problem
and he said no.
So now why is he like having a drama fit in front of my friends?
Because you've met your match, bitch.
Exactly.
And he's keep saying like, I give up my family.
So then Ressa's like, oh, great.
This is a chance to make it about me.
He's like, hey, Shalom.
Like you are like my father.
Like this is like what?
Like and I am like the one who had to grow up
dealing with these ramifications
of how you acted.
Like you right now, it's like my father went to this shit
back in like a run.
And now here I am.
Look at what it's done to me.
He's like, what are you talking about?
You're eating like free egg rolls on a TV show about you
and no one even fucking understands why.
Like, who are you in my mind?
I'm never watching, I'm never watching this.
Look at me, I'm a 40 year old man
dealing with this today
over something like this.
Then I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
Like I never knew the Chinese mustard was so harsh.
That is a harsh mustard.
Bro, player, you are like the Chinese mustard.
I never knew that if I had too much shalom, you'd be like,
Woo!
So, Resa and Gigi get some private time and Resa goes,
well, he said family a lot and that struck a chord
That struck a chord for you to go and he or fucking 11 o'clock number about your dad
That's a chord at struck then MJ the biggest help comes in and she goes neither of you are being productive right now
You still have dicks drawn on your wall
Because you wouldn't let anybody paint it for you for free because you were too busy. I'm gonna get your own boyfriend.
Yeah, yeah, so I'm just like, she's like, listen, you just have to, you know, sometimes you have to change your tone and how you approach it.
Like, for instance, Tommy is a much more vulnerable person. So when I talk to him, I have to be vulnerable because he's softer and he's sweeter.
And then cut him and be like, hey babe, what a fuck?
Hey, you want a book and she's like trying not to crack up and she goes look just use the old Persian method
and light up the motherfucker and tell him you're gonna quit the play and rest it's like that is so old school
You'll do like one show and then that's it one show only one night only one night of the depression and I am telling you I'm not going that's what my dad didn't
sing because he went I've always loved Jennifer holiday just for that song. And you, and you, and you, you're gonna feed me, Icrosse. And you, and you,
and you ting dong is my time, is food. Mischew, Mischew, Mischew, you're gonna eat Mischew
port. So, so long comes back. Of course, look, so Lone keeps coming back. Anyone wondering why
this rich, this rich man that could just be taking care of Gigi's coming back?
Uh, because he's got a plastic Louis Vuitton backpack from Chinatown, so he ain't rich.
Do you know that, do you know how much a hotel room costs in New York with months of advanced notice?
This guy couldn't even afford to say the goddamn comfort in. That's why he's coming back.
Yeah.
So there's still like more stuff.
I was like, you're my family out of it.
And you know, and Gigi is trying to talk to him and he's just fully ignoring Gigi and
Resas like downstairs with with MJ being like, it's good the way he's come.
I'm like, he's wasted.
That's why they're doing an orange county.
They're standing on the stairs,
listening to the fight where they can't be seen, both eating.
And so Shalom is also being a dick because he's sort of gaslighting Gigi.
And he keeps acting, he keeps saying things like,
why are you acting so crazy?
Why are you speaking like that? Why are you yelling? Why are you acting so crazy?
It's like Shalom, you're the one who just want rampaging through the house, okay?
We already talked about this. I don't know why we have to conversate.
Yeah.
So then GG, I actually really like this because GG is like, finally she's like, fuck this.
She's like, you want, like, you want me to talk, like, you think like, I'm like being
crazy, you know, like, like, I can turn up, you want me to turn up, believe me, motherfucker,
I'll get louder than any of these people. And she just stands up and she like throws some
like newspapers. And he doesn't know what to say and he's like oh shit.
You know that's how this couple is going to be in every apartment they ever live in. Like if I have
to pay a dog deposit, they should have to pay a Gigi deposit because you know there's going to be holes
in the wall when they leave. She's never left an apartment normal. Like why are you yelling at him?
You just flipped over the M&Ms. I don't care what you think you're going through.
You just flung the penny saver across the living room. That is not nice. It's because I've changed
so much to be with him. I put my ego aside and my stubbornness. No, you have it. So MTA eating
it bottom of the stairs. Let's see. You're crazy. Broccoli. Call the fuck down. Tommy laughing
in the hall. Yes. Socialom now leaves. He's like, I tried the night's right. Let's see, you're crazy. Broccoli. Call the fuck down. Tommy laughing in the hall.
Yeah, so Shalom now leaves. He's like, I tried. Did not try it. I'm like, what did you try to do?
Yeah, what did you try to do? He's like, I've tried and I've tried to have a good life.
And then it custody team. She's like, I've tried so hard. Yeah, you're both real fucking martyrs.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So then, so then res is downstairs. God, what I. I was gonna say I was trying to read the next sentence
Sorry, sometimes I just do that like I sounds like I'm gonna keep saying something, but then I'm like wait
What is this? It happens to me and Tommy
They're gonna register for gifts and they all crack out was sort of funny and then res is like
We mean in men are a lot harder than two men together
I'm like like yeah, because like you guys get double-dual.
And Ressa says, I'll never yell like that, it Adam, because that's something I can't
take back.
Instead, I go on honeymoon trips without him.
Because if I were never yell at Adam, I just know that like he would cry and like,
we would never look at freeballers again
He would change his tumblr password and I would have to start my own likes
So Adam and Gigi Adam's like thrilled because he hates Shalom as a good friend would because he's obviously an abusive fucking asshole for the Stone Age
So he's like girl, I applaud you. It's like, okay, good time. We're not off Broadway yet. And Gigi's like, all these years, I got to be a
lot crazy bitch. Cause when like, I'm kind, look what I get. That's what I get
for being a kind person. The other victim, all that kind of this. She's like, I
didn't tell him I was going to be kissing a dude on stage until right before,
because I'm a good-hearted person. Okay.
before because I'm a good-hearted person.
Okay.
Yes, the sacrifices we make when we could do an off, off, off, off, off Broadway show.
Bigger issue, what are we going to do about this tattoo?
And then like the screen froze and the ending credits came up.
I said,
Shaw's the sunset was filmed in front of a live studio audience in Burbank, California. You didn't hear them laughing because they've all killed themselves by now.
So bedtime, I think MJ is excited for the return of, um, for Will, uh, Will and Grace return.
Cause she's like, Oh, Lord and Taylor.
Yeah.
Just jack of her.
And then Mike is in bed.
And as, as happens every time we see Mike in any place
alone staring at his cell phone, it's like, sad Mike used to be married music. Yes.
And now he has thoughts about things on his phone. Look at Mike looking at his phone before he
goes to sleep. Like every other happy person who also looks at their phone as they go to sleep.
every other happy person who also looks at their phone. Has they go to sleep?
So then Gigi starts getting texts from Shalom.
He's like, I want to talk.
So she's like, fine.
She goes outside.
And then-
It's like anti-moti, knife, a mochi,
eggplant, a mochi, knife, a mochi.
Two dancers, a mochi, maybe.
A fire, a mochi, a stone, a mochi,
for she mischains again.
One of those annoying red squares, then a little smaller red square from that back part of the mochi, a stone a mochi for she miss the answer again. One of those like annoying like red squares, then like a little smaller red square
from that back part of the mode, you know, whatever uses, you know, those annoying
symbols that they have.
Chinese flag.
It's like some random flag.
It's like one of those like Japanese celebration balloons.
It's coming out.
It's like that flag that has like a two fish on it.
Here.
So the next morning when the when everyone's getting out of bed,
there's like this really traumatic music.
And it's like,
and it's just reza walking around going,
that's a person alarm clock.
Also seen at the Warrior Princess.
Yeah, also the most annoying thing ever.
And Mike's like, he tells Mike,
Get up, what up, player?
Hey, player.
You go maybe you're a me go,
but it didn't wake you up ago.
And he tells Tommy,
What is up, white girl?
Did you borrow Santa
classes peaches and then MJ is like I'm really mad but I don't know why
this is not the MJ's face like I should yell right bitch be like she's like not a
murdering person but I'm like bitch like that's so Persian to want to sleep in
and we can't be Persian today today Today is our day to be just Jewish.
Like what are you sleeping with blankets?
That is so Persian!
So then he goes into Gigi's room and he's like,
Bitch, who is that player in the room with you?
Did you steal a mannequin from mannequin to on the move and put it in your duvet covers?
Because there's like another
body there.
Is it Kim?
Can try.
She's like, yeah, I'm having a TT laugh.
She's like, it's some random guy from my play.
And Russ is like, oh my god, they went from screaming to this.
And then Adam goes to say hi and Russa pulls him back.
Like the arm when you're about to press your car and the mom has like whips
out her arm to protect the kid.
It's like go go near her.
She's may not even be the real Gigi.
I think she's been abducted.
She's made of body snatchers.
But people.
She's like I think we're so hard to be in the body snatchers.
Jesus, like I went into a bathroom in the plaza hotel when I was looking for Shalom,
and I saw myself, and I put my hand on my nose, and my other self,
my hand on her chin, and we screamed, and I, I don't know, we've been friends ever since,
and here I am, which one am I? You'll never know.
What is this, the mist?
No, you're just still standing in M.J.'s room.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. So, what is this the mist? No, you're just still standing in MJ's room. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He took me outside. I was like, okay, wait. He was texting you from some plate from inside a building at Times Square
and texted you to go outside.
Like, he's like in the fucking Olive Garden
at the Times Square.
What was happening in this episode?
And she's like, and he got me a ring.
And everybody starts screaming
like this is the best news they've ever had.
Yeah, I mean, the way I interpreted it,
interpreted it was that maybe was this whole fight,
like a hoax, and then the surprise was,
look, we just got engaged in time squared.
That's the only way I could conceive
of what was going on.
No, it's every fight they have.
You know that every fight is like this.
Like, even on Insta, she's like,
that motherfucker, I'll never be with him again.
And it's like an Instagram meme that's like,
I don't need a man with my coffee.
I like it strong and, you know, whatever, pure,
whatever, I can't even think of one.
And then the next day, she's like,
my husband, this and that, it's like, who are you?
Yeah, I mean, so the way I read it is one of two things.
Either he got all, he got all fighting in order to like,
to surprise you, you would, guess what?
I'm not really mad at you.
I wanted to, I want to marry you.
In which case, if that was the case,
then like you kind of messed it up
because the cameras weren't there.
But, or the other way was he was planning on popping
the question in time square.
He gone this fight and he went to wherever he paid
to get like her name on the signs. Like,, we're not going to give you the money back.
It's like, fuck, all right.
I'll propose to her anyway.
Well, the first mistake you're making is reading into things because this is the shots.
And you know, they wouldn't even be able to read the closed captions while they're hearing
the sound at the same time.
So res is like, her ring is almost as big as your ass,
Marys. Which is so nice. And Tommy comes down wearing a Christmas wrenzy that says, don't bust my
bulbs. Yeah. Hey baby, get it? You got a fame? Don't bust my bulbs. And Mike's like, wow, that is refreshing. So he's like mortified by everything that's going on with Chisha and Chisha's Res is like,
don't worry, we're also gonna ruin Judaism today.
Off to the rabbi, so he and Adam go to the rabbi.
And he's like, we were rabbi, hello, Shalom, hello, up, no pun.
We want to raise our kids Jewish, so who better to talk to than a gay or seducts rabbi married with a kid?
Yeah, so the rabbi is nice and is talking about his experiences because they get rabbi did the same thing the surrogacy and
He'd like to have a surrogate and all this stuff and the entire time that the whole scene
I'm just waiting for Residus are crying to make it about about himself. And Higiko, he actually holds on for a long time.
And finally at the end, he's like,
I'm just, I'm grateful to be here and to talk to you,
to be here by a topa and a rabbi in a synagogue,
because my dad, he had an issue with my mum and my grandma had never loved me
and I was never loved and he's ramifications,
because Shalom was like, Gigi, you can't act with another boy.
And I'm like, no, my child don't.
You produce my play about it, right, Jewish person?
He's like, do you know a Neaterlander?
So the rabbi is like, so why do you
want to be in the Jewish community?
Exactly.
And Rats is like, you know, because I want to reduce my carbon footprint.
Be kind and make the world better. Like, how are those all Jewish things? Also, how are you going
to say reduce your carbon footprint when you have chevron patterns on your wall?
I think you're just confusing. And the rabbi is like, you know what?
That's exactly what we like.
Well, congratulations.
Like everyone likes that.
You're a better person.
Wow, that's funny.
We like that.
That is so true or should you?
We don't believe in...
We believe in global warming too, Raza.
Join in.
So Adam's like, um, no offense, but I just wanted to like, like non-Jewishy things like, will I be okay?
Like if my kid is Ray Judaism, I don't have to be Judaism, right? He's like, it's called Jewish. Oh, yeah, okay
But sell right and he's like, don't worry kid. We've got to play. We've got to spot in the community for non-believers
It's like it's like the little pen in the back. Yeah
Adam's like, oh great something else for me to be left left out of in Riz's life. Yeah, it's fine.
So then they go to a jewelry shop and they meet up with Mike's friend, Mr. Flaless,
Barf, who, again, one of our listeners pointed out that Jessica is now dating Mr. Flaless,
so that's awkward. So this guy is a jeweler, again, called Mr. Flalless. I don't know how you can call yourself Mr. Flalless and be friends with Mike, but you know, seems
How can you be friends with Mike with Mike and not call yourself something like Mr. Flalless?
And of course Mike walks in, he's like, player, what's up player player player player player player player player can they try a player chain? try to play a chain, come up, play a chain. So the MJ decides to treat herself to a little cardier watch.
And you know, it's, it's expensive.
I think they were negotiating is like 8,000, 7,000, whatever.
But she's spending like, you know, 7,000.
Yeah, she haggles him down from like 8,000 to 8,000.
She's the worst tagler ever.
And then he's like 65 and she's like a dollar is like, okay, 62.
She's like sold. So it's like that's in he's like, okay, 62. She's like sold.
So it's like that's here to make a gun
when they keep driving each other back and forth.
Frank Trebbins talking to like a witness
and he's like, oh, did you see someone over here?
He's like, what's it to you?
When he's like, gives him $20.
He's like, yeah, I saw someone.
He's like, oh yeah, I was like,
well, why do you want to know?
He goes, what's it to you?
The guy gives him the $20 back.
He's like, there was a crime.
Sorry, that was a lot. So, um, uh, my, it's like, um, it's so cool to see MJ spend money on
herself because that means like, she's valuing herself at a higher level, which means that her
life is progressing, which means that she's moving forward, which means that she's more amigo than
ego. And so she's like, I've never gifted anything to a guy
or anybody.
That's how well Mike knows people.
He's like, you know, it's like, it's so great
to see her spend money on herself for once.
You know, I get it.
It is nice when someone can treat themselves well
and especially if they're in a position
where they can do it.
But like, if his, if his like, his like, rubric is at the right word, if his
standards for like happiness are that someone finally spends $7,000 on a watch and that
means, oh, she's on the right path. Yeah. Fucked out.
Finally, she has some self respect and is buying herself a pregnancy from a man who knows that they're not ready yet. Yeah. Yeah.
You know that giving I just I'm so sorry.
I just feel like you have to like it shouldn't be that.
Oh, now that she's decided to splurge $7,000 on herself.
That means she's therefore happy.
Like to me, it's like you can I feel like the splurge was more like, you know,
what?
She bought herself that chocolate croissant.
Finally, and I'm happy for I just don't understand how Mike got the impression that MJ is a giving person.
It's like giving money to Carl Jr.
It's not really like giving money to Carl Jr.
You understand that right?
It's a transaction, sir.
So they go to the hunt and fish club and Gigi goes, is it only fish?
And they're like, no, it it's hunting also there's meat. Oh
so MJ is like you like my watch and GG goes that's Mike so he needs he needs to have like one of
those digital calculator watches. I don't know why that made me laugh so hard. So MJ gives the Rolex to Tom. He's like, oh, I love you very much.
I love you very much.
It's actually sweet.
Actually, he doesn't care.
She could have got him seasoned tickets to the meds.
Yeah.
Yeah, she could have honestly got him like some like Cassia watch and he would have been like,
oh, this is wonderful, babe.
I love it.
I love you.
Yeah, he was wearing a brown onesie yesterday.
Okay. Yeah, like he doesn't need a Rolex. Yeah, he's working his way through earth
Chones at the moment
so
Resa is like hey guys, I just came up with a great idea
You know now that MJ bought a watch and Gigi's acting and
You know Mike came up with this weird ego, Amigo thing.
I thought, what do we other, why don't we celebrate winter because it'd be really great
to have a party and really a great opportunity to not invite us to it.
Oh, I'm looking at this stupid MJ thing because she goes, she's talking about how she
had to get that watch because of her dad, which is like her excuse for everything, but it was kind of a nice story because her
dad kept giving her that same watch.
And she goes, I always picture that when a man proposed, I would buy him a watch.
Well, you know, here's my thing.
When you want to spend a lot of money on yourself.
And by the way, and let me, don't confuse what I'm saying.
You know, I, I think if you have the money and you want a splurge, you get yourself something special
and if it's responsible, then definitely do it.
And I am of the mindset that like,
if you need some sort of excuse to do it,
I'm for you.
Like I'm like, you know, I have too many board games
or cluttering up my apartment,
but I did just up my toe,
so I think I deserve a board game.
Like whatever it takes and whatever story you have to tell yourself get yourself that one.
And then we can take a trip. We've come so far. MJ body watch.
Yeah, so let's see. So, let's, so they start giving shit to Mike because MJ says,
so if we do this trip, how about everyone brings the date and And Mike's like, well, I don't have a date,
so I'll bring my mom.
And then everybody.
It's a party, it's not a trip, it's a party.
It's a party to celebrate winter.
Yeah, sorry about that.
So everybody's like, oh, you know, come on Mike,
bring a date and he goes, don't this me, don't this me, okay?
Look, what you don't tell me what to do.
Let me tell you, there's levels with girls, okay? There's girls you sleep with there's girls you fuck there's girls you date there's girls they pick up the tab
There's girls that that you know pee on the seat
There's girls that like blow your nose before they go on a date
There's girls that know how to use silverware like oh Jesus Christ. We have to listen to mics break down
Yeah exactly like general girl qualities.
He's like, look, there's brunettes and there's blonds
and there's people who are kind of in the middle.
Okay?
They're girls who want to have their own career,
but I don't understand that.
They're girls who don't like a dominant man,
but I think they're not real.
They're girls who, when they say, no, they really mean yes.
Yeah, it's like max guide to calling
rape something else. So he's like, there's something such psychological about a woman that switches
when they meet your friends, like they meet Tommy and MJ and they're like, oh my god, you guys
want it, want to double date, no one has ever said that ever to Tommy and MJ. Like, you guys want
to go out and public with us and eat something? Nobody ever
As ever said that ever ever ever ever
So MJ asks how Jessica is which I think is now like
Excuse me. It's now Mike is good. You know, she has a place in the bar.
And she wants to get back into nursing. He's just like
Saying like what she's up to and now MJ and Resor like so it makes me wonder like I think that Mike is still in love with her.
Do you think there's like a chance?
I think we should get you guys should get back together.
You guys still obviously like each other.
It's like, no, all he said was that she's like nursing.
Res is that asshole at the end of the lifetime movie where they finally killed the evil husband
and he's like, he's not dead yet go back to him you
can still make up he was distracting dead seriously like ruin the whole channel so basically they're
trying to get them back together so worst idea ever and they're both saying I feel like I feel like
it's not over and Mike's like you know if call on me, I'd be there right away.
Well, which is fine. I think that's for, I think a lot of couples
that are separated or divorced,
unless it was really, really bitter.
I think a lot of people would have that sentiment.
It doesn't mean that, I mean, he may still be in love
with her, but it doesn't mean like,
oh, they should be like trying to rekindle it.
Like, I think this has to be put to bed.
This relationship, it's not healthy.
Let's time to move on. Well, this is the Shaz, who is. And Rens is like, look, Mike,
just put all the chips on the table. He's like, I said, I still love her. He's like, no, I mean chips.
You still have some in your pocket, right? I'm hungry.
There are already more fat chips here, any more? Have they not have chips in a place called fish and hunting? Don't they have fish
and chips? You hunt for the fish and you fish for the chips.
I'm sorry. I'm not even wanting chips and chips. You can't have one foot in and one foot
out. You go, Amigo. Mike's like I'm riding that one down. You can't have one foot in and one foot out ego amigo. Mike's like I'm riding that one down.
You can't have your foot in when your foot is out.
You can't you can't tip your toe in it.
You can only dip your no in it.
Don't tip your no tip your toe.
So that brings us to the end of the shars of some sit.
Yes, everyone. We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them.
We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll show them. We'll Sorry again about our audio from the Dallas shows, but hopefully you can bear with it and enjoy it.
And go partake in our Caroline Fleming Contest.
What else do we have to do?
Buy the To-Lew for you song on iTunes. Why not?
To-Lew for you. Yes, and that's it.
And we will be back tomorrow with the Real Housewives of Ones, Kenny.
Yeah, it'll be good. Bye everyone.
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Battle and we're the host of Wondery's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
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