Watch What Crappens - Slutty Island Is More Slutty Than Nutty
Episode Date: September 6, 2012Slutty Island Is More Slutty Than NuttySee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.c...om/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Countess speaking.
We have arrived.
Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap Is,
a weekly podcast about all the crap on Bravo that we love.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and joining me this week,
as always, is Ronnie Karam from tvgasm.comsideblog.com, and joining me this week, as always, is Ronnie
Karam from tvgasm.com.
Hey, Ronnie.
Well, hello.
And we don't have Matt Whitfield this week, but we do have the one, the only, fantastic
Michelle Collins.
Yay!
Hi, Michelle.
Hi, everybody.
I was waiting for the applause to cease.
Hi, everyone.
How's it going?
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Do I sound too dry?
Do I sound like too Daria or something?
I feel, I don't know, I feel like really weird doing this.
We can always give you an effect on your voice after.
Could you make me sound like a very high-pitched lovely young lady?
That'd be nice.
We can auto-tune you.
You can sing this whole podcast.
Meanwhile, speaking of which, I saw Phantom of the Opera in Vegas on Saturday night.
It was so, so good.
I swear it was amazing.
I would tell you to see it, but Sunday was the last performance in Vegas.
You know I'm like very dorky.
Obviously it was terrible, but it was good that, you know?
Vegas is a good place to go see shows because they shorten down all the musicals because everybody's like too drunk to watch the whole thing.
It was perfect.
90 minutes.
Yeah, it's usually a three hour long musical.
They get to all the hits.
It's like watching an episode of Glee.
They get to all the hits.
Boom, boom, boom.
Done.
I know.
The chandelier is falling.
It's over.
OK. They're like, think of me, Phantom. Music of the night. Goodbye. And that is falling. It's over. Okay, now.
Think of me, Phantom, music of the night, goodbye.
And that's it.
It's really great.
Okay, well, I hate to be the chandelier on this conversation to crash into it.
Too late.
Too late.
But I have, okay.
Go on.
So let me just get rid of some, take care of some business here at the top of the show
so that way people don't forget to follow us all on Twitter.
Ronnie is at TVGazin.
Michelle is at MishKal. I'm at B-Side
Blog. The show is at WhatCrap
Ins, and the Facebook page for the show is
facebook.com forward slash
WatchWhatCrapIns. And you should
follow on all platforms because it will
enrich your lives. Won't it, everyone?
Oh yeah, you guys. You're gonna
know so much about stuff.
More than you could ever
imagine. Also, if the quality
sounds a little different today, it's because
Benjamina is traveling. Oh yeah,
I'm in New York, everyone. So I'm
recording with the internal
microphone on my laptop,
because I'm a professional like that.
And also,
while I've been in here in New York, I was very hoity-toity and went to the Hamptons this weekend and saw two Bravo celebrities.
Are you guys the best?
Luann and Jacques.
Tell me you did see Luann.
That would be the best.
I did not see Luann, I'm sorry to say.
Oh, I guessed it wrong.
Did you see Thomas?
No, I didn't see Thomas either. Did you see Tomas? No, I didn't see Tomas either.
Did you see Tomas double?
I was going to say, did you see a Tomas impersonator?
Who happens to just be a Johnny Depp impersonator?
Did you see Penelope Cruz without taking a shower?
Who looks just like Tomas?
She's working at the ice cream shop.
Thank you, Christina Tomasolona.
You too.
Go on.
No, the first Bravo celebrity that I saw is barely a Bravo celebrity.
Gail Green, the judge from Top Chef Masters.
Oh, my God.
She's still with us.
That really is lame.
I know.
I feel like the most interesting thing about that season is seeing if she's going to make it all the way through.
I love Gail Green.
Isn't she from Gourmet Magazine? Bon Appetit, one of them.
I think she's from New York, New York Magazine.
She was at New York Magazine for like years and years.
I like to be like, isn't she from Gourmet or something?
That was the most tired pickle I've ever tasted.
It was inspired.
Ben and I were on Top Chef,
Ronnie. Yes, we were. Oh, I saw you
ordering from that menu, Michelle. I remember
that. Did you see that? When we busted
in, we were the first people in line.
Yes, that was a great experience, and
every time they rerun that episode, which is quite
frequent, I get texts from all sorts of
random people. I never get texts from all sorts of random people.
I never get texts from anybody.
I'm so angry.
No, I like, that was one of the funniest days ever.
Yeah.
The Top Chef taping.
I was bummed because Gail Green was actually not in the restaurant that day.
It was James Oslund and Curtis Stone.
Yeah.
And you know that I made Curtis Stone uncomfortable.
Do you remember that?
He like came over and I was like, so?
How's your lamb?
He really did not like me. Like Curtis Stone.
He's an asshole though.
That's how he is.
He likes anybody.
I think he's an asshole. I kind of get the feeling like he's an asshole.
He's loosened up a little bit this season
on Top Chef Masters, but in general
I find him to be kind of an asshole.
What?
I know.
I'm sorry.
Sorry to be the chandelier again, crashing on the Curtis Stone party.
The other Bravo star I saw in the Hamptons, the only other one I saw, was Miss Kelly Ben Simone.
Oh, my God.
Jelly beans. That's a big one. She was biking with Ben Simone. Oh my god. Jelly beans.
She was biking with her daughters.
Did you ask her if she would teach you
how to be hot?
I wish I had,
but I was in a car and she was on a bike.
And she biked
right by with all the speed
and vigor of a lady.
I feel like she...
Go ahead. Sorry, Anne.
I was going to say, was the huge horse in her apartment
on a bike? Remember she had a big horse?
Yeah, it's the big white horse
in her apartment. It's the one from the
set of Joey.
I actually would not have even recognized her, because
she was making a weird face. It didn't even look like her.
But the people I was with, they spotted
her immediately.
Well, guys, we didn't have
uh i'm gonna move into gossip is that okay my story has no arc to it say like i feel like kelly
benson shouldn't be allowed to ride a bike i feel like it's too dangerous and now i'm uncomfortable
yeah um so why don't we go through some housewives gossip everybody i'll really do it yeah i pressed
housewives into google and so i'm going to read you the top stories and get your reactions, you guys.
Oh, that's exciting.
Yeah.
Aviva Drescher is not speaking to anybody.
And also, she said the St. Barthes trip involved drugs.
Whoa.
Well, she can go to hell.
I have just about had it with Aviva.
I'll tell you that much
I really have
I don't know I kind of like that you
a fake leg would be a great way to fly
drugs into a foreign country
it just occurred to me
for sure
if you weren't the kind of person to tell everybody
ten times a day that you have a fake leg it would
but I don't think that would work for her
that's a fabulous point
listen you know that no one's going to search
anyone who has one leg and is listening to
Chaka Khan, okay?
She really
looks, the more, you know, I used to think she was pretty.
The more I look at her, she looks so
Muppety. Like, just like, I can't explain
it. She's like Janice from the Muppets kind of.
There's something about her. I don't know. I'm really
over it. I feel like she looks like Loretta
Swit with so much Botox that it started
to sag her facial muscles.
It's like
Loretta Swit with a dash of
vintage Daryl
Hannah. I see that
actually. I do. Yeah. I'm not
even sure that's too complimentary.
She was slightly out of control
yesterday. I mean, in a way, she's right. Because
obviously, I also dislike Ramona. I mean, you know way, she's right, because obviously I also dislike Ramona.
I mean, you know, if we're, like, ranking everybody, Ramona is by far the most psychotic of everyone, you know?
Oh, yeah.
And Sonya is another, you know, mental case.
But, I mean, honestly, at this point, I think Heather is my favorite one.
I know.
Obviously, Carol.
Carol's the best.
Well, we're going to get to New York in a second.
I just wanted to say drugs. Oh, sorry. Well, no, no, no. I brought the best. Well, we're going to get to New York in a second. I just wanted to say drugs.
Oh, sorry.
Well, no, no, no.
I brought it up.
It was first.
But before we go all the way there, you guys, Kyle Richards got a guest starring role on CSI.
No, as a corpse?
I was going to say guests.
It says, oh, Richards will play.
Okay, I'll actually click on it.
Come on. We're a really professional podcast. Yeah, you're like, say, yes. It says, oh, Richards will play. Okay, I'll actually click on it. Come on.
We're a really professional podcast.
Yeah, you're like, oh, fine.
I'll click on the link.
We'll research.
I didn't know I was going to have to say who she was going to play.
I just kind of assumed she was going to be lying there.
Well, maybe she'll be like a sexy scientist who, like, does autopsies.
Maybe she'll be the girl who scientist who like does autopsies.
Maybe she'll be the girl who marries the hottest guy in America. And everyone's like, how did you do it?
That's the mystery I want solved.
She's going to be playing Mrs. Young, a wealthy, attractive divorcee who is questioned by Elizabeth Shue after her neighbor is murdered.
Elizabeth Shue is on CSI? That's hilarious.
How did that happen? You guys, there's
some non-Housewives related news.
I love you, Elizabeth Hsu.
I'm tuning in for that. I tell you one
thing. I love Elizabeth Hsu.
Wait, can you imagine how jealous Kim must be?
That Kyle is going to be...
You know what I'm saying? Listen, Kim already thinks she's
on an episode of CSI. She's been, like, reciting
lines for, like, about two months now.
She has.
She's going to be like, hey, Kyle, what are you doing in the TV?
Kyle, come out!
Where is David Caruso?
He's still on?
He must be.
They just canceled CSI Miami, I think.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I ran him over on 3rd Street.
Did you?
That would have been a disaster.
I almost ran him over on 3rd Street.
Did you? That would have been a disaster.
He walked out and the valet brought his white SUV around and he walked right into the street.
I almost ran him over and then I was like,
that would have been a loss.
It would have been. It would have been a huge loss.
But you would have been in the news.
That would have been cool.
Let's see.
Real Housewives Vicki Gumbelson refuses to discuss cheating.
Well, how's that even news?
Of course, she never wants to.
Why would she want to discuss her cheating?
Why did someone go up to her and be like,
so you want to discuss your cheating?
And she's like, you know what?
I think, you know what, today, I think I would like to discuss that,
how I've been totally unfaithful.
But she wasn't faithful.
What are they saying?
She wasn't faithful to Don?
Obviously, Don is
I refuse to click on another link
you just have to guess the rest of the story
well that's a wonderful
gossip headline Ronnie
thank you so much
yeah I learned a lot
okay and also this is the best one
real housewife of Atlanta star
NeNe Leakes to host a Bravo show.
No.
I'm over NeNe.
I'm over NeNe.
Actually, I'm not going to comment on that.
I'm over NeNe.
I don't want to get into it
because I don't want to burn any bridges with NeNe.
She's a lovely woman.
I wish her all the luck in the world.
You'll see NeNe in the halls at work.
You don't want that bitch attacking you.
Do you see what I'm saying to you?
She's lovely, gorgeous, smart.
That's a lot.
Okay.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, Ronnie.
No, I was just going to say Nini's really lovely
when she's not anywhere near you and can't touch you.
Nini has her moments, but she's really just become hideous, I've found.
Not putting any words in anyone else's mouth, but I find...
You're being a little unfair.
A little unfair?
Why do you think I'm being a little unfair?
I don't know.
You've never met her.
Well, I've never met any of these ladies.
I'm sure they're all very nice in real life.
That's true.
But on TV, though, I mean, Nini's just sort of like... I don't know. We've never met any of these ladies. I'm sure they're all very nice in real life. That's true. But on TV, though, I mean, he's just sort of like, I don't know.
We've never met her.
We wouldn't be able to do this show if that was our rule.
Oh, we have to be nice to the housewives, you guys.
We don't know them.
I'm sorry.
I'm watching America's Got Talent.
That's where they went swimming, you guys. Didn't they all look so
pretty in their swimsuits?
Wait, is anyone else having weird audio issues?
I just did, yeah.
Yeah, things sound a little weird. Sorry to the
listeners at home. You'll just have to deal with
us because, again, we
record in very professional ways.
So, okay, let's get to
the shows. Yes. Okay.
Let's get right into
our real house as of new york city we're on uh episode two of our of our big trip down to uh
to st bart's this episode was titled slutty island which i thought was really funny made me
laugh so much well first of all i just got back from Vegas, which is like a slutty landlocked country.
Like there's no – it's not an island, but it's close.
And I just – it was so perfect, a perfect way to get back into LA life, watching Slutty Island.
Go on.
Well, you know, the thing is this, though.
I feel like people in Vegas acted better than they do on Slutty Island.
Okay, because we started off right where we left off last week, which was that Tomas had shown up at this party.
And Luanne was still maintaining this ridiculous ruse that she was entertaining a group of Italians the night before.
So now this time, this episode, Ramona is going after Tomas and is trying to get the news out of— Were you here last night? What did you do last night? Were you here? Were you here last night? Where were you?
Were you in the living room last night? Did you watch our TV last night? Were you in the bedroom? living room last night did you watch our tv last night were you in the bedroom she was literally on him like
a fly on shit i mean it was funny but he luckily he's so adorable yeah but like she was probably
like the worst detective in the history of real housewives detectives i mean she could be on she
she would never even get a role on csi with those sort of questions she's just she's sort of like
sort of sidled on up to them and sort of
winked her eye and kind of
thought she could... Winked her bulgy crossed eye.
Oh, her eyes.
Oh, and then I love that while they're
talking to each other, they're both staring at their
cell phones.
The whole time.
They were both staring at their cell phones and she's
badgering him and he's like, what, you see me?
You see me because I's at show.
You see show?
You see me?
You see my double?
Do we think he had any idea of what was
going on in the first place?
Do you think that he really slept with Luanne?
I mean, I'm sure you guys addressed this, but
or if it was just
done for the show. I feel like
that it didn't really happen
Well here's the thing
I kind of felt like he didn't actually sleep with Luanne
But then when I found out that he was giving anal to Sonia
I kind of thought
Maybe they did
What?
Wait you didn't see that part of the show?
He wasn't giving anal
I can't even say it
Don't you remember Carol said she walked in on Tomas
What? Giving it to Sonia up the ass Shut up Say it. Don't you remember? Carol said she walked in on Tomas.
What?
To get to Sonia up the ass.
Shut up.
When?
I just, no.
I don't know how to say this, but I walked in and I saw, well, I don't want to say butt sex, but.
She's like.
In the ass.
She said butt effing. Well, how would Carol walk in on them doing that? That doesn't make sense.
Because there are no walks on those doors
in that house, I don't think. Oh, wait a second.
They were in the pool house, I see.
She heard animal noises. She thought there was like a raccoon
that was stuck in the building.
No. She wanted to let it out.
Is that what she said?
No, that's just what I'm surmising.
I'm literally going to die. I can't buy any of this.
Oh, you're kidding. So she saw them having sex. I missed. No, it wasn't what I'm surmising. I'm literally going to die. I can't buy any of this. Oh, you're kidding.
So she saw them having sex.
I missed.
No, it wasn't just sex.
It was...
Sonia was getting anal.
And sex is sex.
That's what I call sex.
Anal is no...
Go on.
You're just saying that because you have the Democratic National Convention on in the background.
I'm obviously watching America's Funniest Home Videos.
I mentioned it earlier. Go on.
This was legitimate
anal sex, and Tomas
was giving it to Sonia, which leads me to believe that
Tomas is kind of like
A, a freakadik, and B,
has low standards. Or maybe
a male prostitute. Have we ever, like,
thought of that? Or maybe Sonia's
like sticking it into a wet sock
and he just needed something
That is something only a perverted gay man would say
No straight man would ever say that
Not when a woman is on the podcast
Not when there's a lady
Not when there's a lady
Michelle, I totally respect you though, okay
Thank you
Me and my wet sock are both Sunday
I don't know Personally, I don't see the big deal with this Tomas guy Thank you. Me and my wet sock are both Sunday.
I don't know. Personally, I don't see the big deal with this Tomas guy.
I mean, yeah, he's cute, but honestly, the makeup, isn't the makeup, wouldn't that sort of be a big turnoff for you, Michelle?
Well, okay, here's what I, okay, I'm glad you brought it up.
Here's what I don't understand. He showed up. I thought that was like a costume he wore to the bar.
Yes. But then he showed up the next day in the same lace-up leather vest and
eyeliner i was like wait this is supposed to be like a joke like pull your hair back and like you
know i don't like guys with long hair but when they do that bun you know there's like a european
bun that can work yeah put the bun on wipe take a you know neutrogena face wipe to the eyes yeah
and show up looking like a man not like me me when I'm hungover, which is exactly
what he looked like.
You know, and also, here's another question,
and people were asking this on our little Facebook page,
but what's the deal with Sonia's bruise?
Do you guys notice that she had bruises all up her arm?
She's always got bruises all over.
She had a big old one on her leg, too.
I saw one on the leg, yeah.
Well, she had one. I saw one, I think, on her arm.
Anal sex bruise, Ben.
Anal bruise. He had really bad aim.
Yeah.
I thought you said aim.
I was like, he had really bad aim. I'm like,
ugh, bad aim is the worst.
He was trying to have
elbow sex originally.
It just ended up
in her butt. One of our readers guessed
that was maybe an injury from hurricane
irene which i i kind of thought that was hilarious because you know sonia is the only person in new
york who was affected by hurricane irene it like it's caused no damage anywhere except for her
apartment we're clearly a raptor dog i hope her dog it's a very proud dog michelle oh lord very
proud dog well so much happened, Lord. Very proud dog.
Well, so much happened in that episode.
You know, I'm so used to this season sucking that I sat down kind of begrudgingly to watch it.
And then the second it came on, I was dying even when it was showing last week's clips.
And I was like, I've got to pop some popcorn.
So I pressed pause and I ate a whole tub of popcorn watching that shit, just laughing and spitting little bits of popcorn.
Well, I actually watched the show with my mom, and my mom hates reality TV, and she especially hates these Real Housewives shows.
And I actually – she didn't say much during the show because she was sort of like just aghast, but I did write down two of her quotes.
Let me bring it up.
First, somewhere midway through, she just turned to me
and said,
it's so stupid,
it's unbearable.
And then,
and then she was,
and then she said
at one point,
this is what low-class,
privileged girls do
when they're 16.
And then,
at the end,
she just,
I think my dad came in
the room as I was leaving
and my mom turned to him
and said,
it was awful.
Truly awful.
Well, I met your parents,
and they are the definition of highbrow.
Your parents are so highbrow.
My parents are extremely lowbrow.
My mother loves the show.
If they hadn't been at the Blasio today,
I'm sure my mother would have had a lot to say.
Oh, that's too bad that she didn't see it, i know your mom i know she always has the funniest comments about it
i used to uh without her knowing i used to transcribe what she was saying about the show
and then post them to best week ever where i used to blog and they were i mean my mother is psychotic
but the funniest she hates aviva hates ramona he Heather the way she talks about that face
when Heather broke her nose last week
on the window
you should have heard you don't even know
you don't even know
one of the Facebook readers also
left a funny comment which is that
Heather if you look at it
Heather looks like one of the sharks from Finding Nemo
that's very funny
no she looks like one of the snake people on Rocco's
Modern Life.
But that sounds hilarious.
What? The Nickelodeon cartoon Rocco's Modern Life?
Ronnie.
Yeah, I'm with you. I think she looks like
a pantomime artist
because she puts so much white makeup on.
But only on her face.
I feel like she's always trapped in a box.
What's your take on Reed?
You know, I feel like Reed seems like a nice guy.
He's nice.
What a pussy.
He's a pussy, and he should control his life.
He looks like Super Dave Osborne.
Go on.
He looks like any number of men I might see at, like, synagogue, you know?
Yes.
He, like, has that generic synagogue look.
You know, like, you can imagine him imagine him like talking about something over a bagel and talking about how great services were earlier
that day you know what is it with men who are so turned on by neurotic women i just it's like he
has this big smile on his face the whole time on the plane when stupid aviva is like i can't do
this i can't concentrate i need to listen to music. And he's like, oh, you're
doing great, honey. Oh, you're
wonderful. Kiss, kiss. Oh, you're
so wonderful.
He can take care
of her. She's like a damsel
in distress. Why didn't he
take care of her? And I don't mean to jump ahead a little
bit in the timeline here,
but when Aviva was clearly
freaking out
when she got to the villa why didn't he pull
her aside for five minutes and say look you know what like just enjoy yourself who cares like stop
freaking out i don't need these women to compliment me let me do my work and enjoy yourself why don't
you do that he's kind of a pussy in that way now let me tell you what really i thought was over the
top already aviva freaked at them. Fine. But then to beg
them to go upstairs and apologize to Reed?
Like,
what? That, to me, was, like,
on a different level. I mean, it's, she's very,
I don't find her intelligent
at all, Aviva. I think she's kind of stupid.
Well, she went to Vassar and law school.
I think so, yes. She is. Oh, please.
That I won't say that.
She speaks. I went to Vassar. I read, always, like, declare it up, please. That I won't say that? She speaks.
I went to Vassar.
Everything is always, like,
declarative, you know what I mean?
She is a... I know 20 languages.
I've memorized a Rubik's Cube.
I can pass Lara Croft in two days.
It's like, shut up, Aviva.
No one buys it.
I also like how she was like,
look, I already lost my leg
in an accident,
so the odds are clearly not on my side.
You've also never done anything of worth in your entire life,
and you're completely wealthy with, like, millions of dollars.
So I would say that luck is pretty much on your side, bitch.
Stop your whining.
She's bone skinny.
Go on.
Well, I also like how she's talking about the flight when he's like, well, it's okay.
This plane can float.
Like, if it were to, you know, it's okay.
And she's like, well, float means crash.
Crash means die.
You know, I like how, like, her brain goes right there immediately, you know.
Although, mine would too, probably.
Aviva just doesn't have enough of a personality for a real storyline.
And she's just going to milk this fear of everything to death.
Well, I—so why don't we get into this whole Aviva thing a little bit more, which is why don't we, like, talk—why don't we give some background as to what this whole fight was?
Okay, let's do the fight right now, okay?
Who do you guys want to be?
Who do you guys want to be in the fight?
Oh, my God.
I kind of want to be Luann.
Yes.
Well, no, because Bueller has to be Luann because she doesn't say anything. She just sits there
and looks like evil.
No, but I'm smirking. I just want to listen to you while I smirk
with a shit-eating grin on my face.
And then at the right time, you stir the pot.
How did Ramona also...
Okay, I'm jumping ahead.
I'll be Luann
and maybe Sonia. I'll be Sonia
because she didn't say anything.
And then, Ben, do you want to be Ramona or Aviva?
Well, I'll be Aviva because if I'm Ramona, I have to yell, calm down.
And I feel like my parents in the other room will be so confused as to why I'm yelling calm down.
Okay.
So, you have anything negative to say about Reed?
Who said anything negative? That's ridiculous.
We were just in the pool. What are you? Who said anything negative? That's ridiculous. We were just in the pool.
What are you talking about?
The pool.
The one who said the one was the one who said that it would change everything.
If your husband came.
Oh, no.
Excuse me.
That's not what I said.
Don't you go roping me into this.
That's not what I said.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
You're both evil people.
Oh, calm down.
No, I will not calm down.
You're yelling.
You're yelling.
You're yelling. OK, you're yelling, you're yelling
Okay, you know what?
Me and I are going to a hotel
We're going to a hotel
I heard you're a mean person
Guys, this is, guys
This is stressing me out
As a listener, I think we need to stop this
I'm sorry, it's like, it went too far
This is, what that was
Was a master class And Ben hasn't taken far this is this is what that was was um a master class
in ben hasn't taken an improv class that's yeah yeah let's send this into your ucb audition
i'm sure they were you guys i am so good at improv
wasn't that so impressive okay so for real the issue was that Aviva, who was scared of everything on this earth,
managed to get herself down to St. Bart's with the assistance of Reed.
And when she arrived, Ramona and Sonia were drunk and swimming in a pool, topless.
And everyone went to greet Aviva.
But, of course, Ramona and Sonia were in the pool.
And they waved hi, and they said hi from the pool. But that was clearly not good enough for Aviva, but of course Ramona and Sonia were in the pool and they waved hi and they said hi from the pool.
But that was clearly not good enough for Aviva
and later on
the three women plus Luann
were sitting around the kitchen
and Aviva
says, do you have anything negative to say
about Reed being here
in St. Barts? Let me say one thing.
They weren't nice when he showed up.
No. They could have been a little friend weren't nice when he showed up. No.
They could have been a little friendlier,
but, you know, it's all right.
Yeah.
Well, no, that was going to be my question also.
I'm sorry.
Did they, no, it's fine,
but did they, Ramona and Sonia,
how should they have greeted Reed and Aviva?
Well, she just already knew
that they were being bitches about it
because, well, first of all, they were naked bitches about it because well first of all they
were naked in front of her husband what she didn't like absolutely that by the way was put a bikini
on you know they're coming right so you're going to be in the pool there's such two corvus which is
i think yiddish or hungarian for whores corvus to the bone these women i mean the way they behave
truly it's despicable if i was their daughter watching
my mom act like that i would die of embarrassment you know yeah that's the other thing especially
watching that with my mom i'm like i couldn't imagine my mom doing that could you imagine like
your mom being like topless in a pool on tv like constantly hitting on each other it's just so weird
it's like they're they're so loveved. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Milu the dog must have been embarrassed. He's a very proud
dog.
He must have been mortified.
One of the best
scenes ever on that show.
This is about the children who lost their leg.
Whatever she said. Anyways, go on.
He's a very proud dog.
I mean, those two are horrible people, but we all
know that they're horrible people.
And everyone else had fun on that trip until stupid Aviva came.
Right.
So clearly, I mean, it seemed to me that Aviva was looking for a fight.
She could have just dropped it and enjoyed herself.
But she was looking for a fight.
Do you guys agree?
Yeah.
Big time.
I do.
She was probably stressed out from the flight.
She showed up, and she felt uncomfortable. I think that they probably were not as the flight she showed up and she felt uncomfortable i think
that they probably were not as welcoming as she wanted them to be she wanted them to like do
backflips and they didn't she literally wanted a party she actually said at one point she's like i
i wanted a party i thought there'd be a party well you know i'm on the phone and heather and carol
are begging me to come. So Reed did us
all a favor. Everyone thank Reed for
bringing me. It's like, fuck you.
Fuck you.
How about you get a medication that takes care of
your illness before we thank your husband?
Yeah, thanks so much for coming
to this free trip to St. Bart's and this
gorgeous mansion on the beach.
Thanks for doing us that favor, you a-hole.
Oh my god. I mean, that's the beach. Yeah, thanks for doing us that favor, you a-hole. Oh, my God.
I mean, that's the thing.
I would say that maybe she put her foot in her mouth.
But, uh...
Anyways, then go on.
Well, do we...
I mean, here's the thing.
She's acting like Reed was really put out by this whole thing.
And it's like he...
I mean, it's like Ronnie said.
He's down in St. Barts.
Is this really the worst thing in the world?
Like,
they said hi to him.
Reed probably just wanted to masturbate by the ocean.
He's like,
I've got some emails to answer.
I just,
I just want some time by myself.
Take my wife away from me,
please.
Five minutes.
He was,
he actually did not seem happy
to even be interacting with any of the women he just
looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and get out of the way which by the way is more
wife is probably always pulling him into drama yeah and considering that these these housewives
trips that happen every single season on every single one of these shows where they always say
it's gonna be a girl's trip and then a husband comes along this is the first time where a husband
looked like he actually wanted to remove himself from the absolutely yeah and aviva should have just
thanked her lucky stars and just been like great no conflict let's just move on yeah but i mean
look ramona obviously those two were being totally rude they went and looked for a different place
preparing yeah oh yeah absolutely that was i mean they're just obnoxious yeah i don't understand
how these women exist in real life like how do they think that any of this behavior is acceptable on any level at any time
from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ramsey and i'm consciously what do most
people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about,
especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that.
Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.
In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some.
As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.
Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Listen everywhere on February 5th.
Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.
Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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carol she doesn't really bring the drama she's just sort of like she's us basically in the show she's just watching everything go down and sort of like what the hell is this you know if they
weren't this insane they wouldn't be on tv but i kind of miss kelly i a little bit miss kelly i'm
not gonna lie and by the way i absolutely loved after after this whole fight sort of like the
first round of it settled down sonia's attempt to make it to make good with oh my god when she
hugged her that was the funniest
shit ever she's like i'm just gonna hug you right now you know as if that was gonna fix everything
and the music you know what she was right to be i have to say that i was impressed at least not
impressed but i related let's say to sonia's reaction later when she cried and she was like
i feel very hurt and betrayed yeah i've had that happen with people before where, you know, you feel a certain level of trust.
You know someone for a long time and then they attack you like that for really what appears to be no reason to come ask someone like that to call her white trash.
I mean, listen, we know they're white trash, but that's not the time to call it.
You know what I mean?
There are other better appropriate times like that really wasn't the right response.
Yeah.
And I'm like her.
The way I react once that happens is i
i can't go back to the friendship like it was it's very hard for me i'm i'm hurt you know
and i feel like there's a level of trust that was kind of broken there so in a way the friendship
is broken you know and it was sort of like out of left field and this was actually so prototypical
of of a housewives fight where i'm totally torn because when Aviva says that they're both white trash, I'm like,
yes, Aviva's totally right, but then I'm
like, wait, but Aviva's acting crazy
right now. Which side do I take
in this? And then I just sort of want to hide
under a pillow or something.
Then you're roboting for me a little bit.
I didn't say anything of note, don't worry.
No, no, no.
Listen, I just babble. This is what I do. I get on
here and I talk. You're a little waning.
You're a little waning a little bit.
My dream has come true.
Well, you know, Aviva did say, oh, I regret my choice of words.
But then even at the restaurant, she's doing everything she can to start a fight this whole time.
She's just a horrible person.
And, you know, you guys, I know that we're all big personalities.
And if we ever get in a fight, I don't care what you say to me, but please do not talk to me like I'm five years old.
I really hate that she does that when she's in a fight.
She's like, we do not approve of this behavior.
We do not like this.
It's like, who are you?
Give me a fucking apple.
And how about her, I'll bring up her disgusting dirtbag father.
That's who creates an idiot.
A disgusting, sex-starved, I dirtbag father. That's who creates an idiot. A disgusting, sex-served...
I hate her
father. Her father, to me... You want to talk about being
embarrassed. Yeah. Well, what about her?
She's not. She's, like, thinking it's hilarious
bringing him on TV. That is really the guy she put behind
bars. He's, like, a fucking... Trying to set him up
with people. And then she's, like, the very next
week, she's all offended at what they're
talking about at the dinner table. Like, yeah.
Exactly. Meanwhile, no wonder... I'm telling you. No wonder week she's all offended at what they're talking about at the dinner table like yeah exactly
meanwhile no wonder no wonder why she wound up with the biggest man whore of manhattan with this
harry guy you know like of course she's like this is what happens when you have a pervert for a
father her father really is a pervert lord now what did you guys think about luann and all this
we mentioned her before but i i thought it was hilarious because Luann's sitting there sort of smiling, enjoying Ramona in the hot seat.
And then when things, I guess, weren't hot enough for Ramona, Luann just happily just like throws her right under the bus.
Well, there's nothing better in the world.
The best feeling is when other people are fighting and you're not involved.
There is.
I've got to tell you something.
I went to Vegas a few months ago and
there were uh a group of girls that i was with two of them got into a fight over one kind of
flirting with the other one's boyfriend people were crying i mean it was honestly and me and a
friend of mine were laughing we're like this is the greatest vegas trip of all time to be you know
what i mean to watch this shit go down and know that no repercussions like you're not involved
whatsoever so i totally get where luann is coming from like that is kind of the best
feeling and the best part is that luann was totally using ramona's words against her wherein
she was like well i'm just you know i'm just being honest you know i'm just saying what you know i'm
just saying what other people are thinking you know like oh my god this was luann's moment she
was so happy after being beat up about the
stupid wine thing for the past few weeks.
She could finally get in and throw Ramona
back under the bus. Well, and also getting beat
up for blatantly cheating on her boyfriend
the night before.
Oh my god. Group of Italians.
I wonder what the Italians had to say
about that. Mamma mia!
Yeah, Super Mario Brother Luigi.
You had an affair with
your mom? Like, I can only... Please cut this
out of the podcast. Do you want to talk about your bad improv?
Talk about my Italian accent.
Alright. Anyways.
Anyway, I mean, I feel like that's
most of New York. We can also talk about the fact
that Sonia and Ramona had those
two guys on the boat hold up
towels so they'd be shielded from the sun.
I love these guys, by the way.
They're nice.
Those two ladies are pretty disgusting.
And I, you know, it shows you how disgusting they are that they finally are getting to Carol.
I mean, you cannot crack Carol.
You can't say anything.
It's like everyone around her is drop dead.
She's been through every tragedy that you can ever go through.
And they're finally cracking her is drop dead. She's been through every tragedy that you can ever go through.
And they're finally cracking her with their bullshit.
At the end, she's sitting in front of the mirror like, what the hell?
Little cracks are starting to show.
I love it.
Okay.
Well, she's going to apparently break down next week.
So we have that to look forward to.
Yeah.
I got to say, whoever cuts the previews for the show is a genius.
Oh, yeah.
It's not like on Mad Men where you're like, you know, they show... Like random sentences.
Random, just like, shut the door, and then a fly dies, and that's it.
Here, we get some meat.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Oh, I agree.
I'm looking forward to this.
I have to say, I feel like this vacation so far has been great.
I love the vacations.
Yeah, I mean, honestly, the New York City housewives throw a great vacation.
You know, nothing can ever top Scary Island.
And then there was Morocco, which was fantastic.
And this has been wonderful.
Yeah, this saved the season, I thought, because the season's been really lame.
It started out very slow, I agree.
I think the season picked up after they had that preview of what's coming up later in the season.
I think that's when they sort of re-edited it or something, because since then, every episode has been 100% crazy.
Yeah.
Love it.
All right, so shall we move on to our other favorite show, Gallery Girls?
Of course.
Okay, that girl is a model.
Discuss.
In Japan.
In Japan.
Let's, you know what I always like to say about me is that I'm huge in Japan, literally.
I'm six feet tall for your listeners out there who don't know me personally.
What's her name?
Chantal.
She has moments where she actually can look pretty when she doesn't have the big red lips on.
Yes.
She can look okay, but, I mean, if you saw the face I was making, like, with the model, you know?
Her body looks like a candy cane.
It just sort of, like, slopes over and curves down, you know?
Yeah, she has, like, she's, if I was in elementary school
with that girl, I'd be like, scoliosis.
I'd just like point at her.
Get her checked for scoliosis.
Remember when they used to do the exams?
Oh, yeah.
No, Chantal is like universally like,
she continues to be, I think,
one of my least favorite on the show. And yet,
she's hilarious. Everything that she says is absolutely
ridiculous. Oh, she's definitely not my least favorite on the show. Yeah, I like everything that she says is absolutely ridiculous oh she's definitely not my least favorite on the show yeah i like her not by
a mile yeah i think she's really funny well i like that she makes herself laugh and i like
well the fact that she makes herself laugh is what redeems her for me you know in fact i was
noticing it that this week this week she's made a few like kind of ridiculous statements but she
laughed afterwards and it kind of like made it a little better for me you know yeah i think about uh oh no you guys dance
moms isn't on well why is this recording well that's because abby lee miller is at the democratic
national convention that's very funny and chubby is gonna to come on after Michelle Obama. She's wearing cocoon.
Anyways.
So I guess I'll change the channel.
I'll put on America's Got Talent or something.
Back to gallery girls.
Who are you hating? Chantal.
What about her boyfriend?
Wait a second.
Oh, that's a weird situation.
Well, I see guys like that get laid all the time because i do
do improv it's like those guys with you know who never bathe they're kind of like um like
i don't i'm trying to think of a non-bigotty way to say it i know what you're saying they're kind
of like i'm gonna say i'm a i was gonna say I'm talking to two Jews, but they're kind of like those Jew-y, menschy guys who never really take a shower and wear plaid.
We're just going to call him a Charleston Jew.
That's kind of candy bar.
He's all right.
You know, I'm, as a Jew, I'm not into Jewish guys, so I don't get the appeal of a guy like that, you know.
But I would also marry, like, a guy like that, you know, but I would also marry like a,
an Irish Catholic drunk,
you know,
so we have our problems,
but,
um,
what's the other girl's name?
The tall one,
the aunt,
$15,000.
Claudia.
Yeah.
She,
to me could be cut from the show tomorrow.
Like,
I don't even know what she brings.
She brings nothing.
She's the most normal out of all of them.
Well, I think if they just her, like, trying to sell art more, I think that would be better.
Or, like, dealing with artists more, because that was one of my favorite parts of the show.
It was very funny.
How much do you charge?
I don't know.
It depends.
Well, what percentage do you take?
I don't know.
Like...
And then she just stares at a wall.
She's like Mrs. Dalloway or something.
I don't even know what that reference means.
If it makes any sense,
accept it. Look it up on Wikipedia.
Listen, the point I'm trying
to make is, she's a
plain Jane.
I think she should be a lawyer,
like on one of those Made in Jersey shows
where it's like, a beautiful girl's a lawyer!
She should go back to Illinois
and open up a specialty shop
where she sells weird things
like a bird's nest that she found
on the side of the street, you know?
You just get what you want.
She'll have a bucket instead of a cash register and you just throw in whatever you want. She should open up a lemonade stand, you know? You just look at what you want. Like, she'll have a bucket instead of a cash register, and you just throw in
whatever you want. She should open up a lemonade
stand, you know? Just
enjoy life on the side
of the road. She's alright.
The other one is the Asian one.
She's fine. Great ponytail.
Very jealous of the girl's ponytail.
And I looked up that store she mentioned,
International Playground, where she bought the
crazy... The dinosaur dress or whatever?
Yeah, that looked like Rudy on The Cosby Show when she wore the dinosaur sweater.
Remember that episode where she wanted to wear her special dress?
Yes.
And Claire said she couldn't, but Cliff said she could.
Remember this one?
And then she couldn't wear it, and she slow danced with it around her room to a Ray Charles song.
What a great show.
Anyways, it was exactly like that sweater it's a very funny store but she's obviously nuts and
annoying her gay uh doesn't have enough screen time i say not a girl not enough time no you agree
yeah girl you agree And go on.
No, I thought it was funny when all those hipster girls, they decided to throw a sorority potluck, which was really a catty thing to do.
You know, I love how they pretend like they're not catty, but they're more catty than the supposed catty girls.
Oh, very catty.
Yeah.
But I loved how they dressed in their sorority girl stuff.
And then Chantal shows up just in all black.
Yeah.
Oh, those girls are such idiots.
They're idiots.
I love that.
Cello shots!
I love that party.
I wanted to go.
I personally, I was cracking up during Carrie's whole housewarming party
as Liz and Maggie sat there on the futon and
said the snottiest things.
They were being such assholes.
It's so funny.
But for some reason, Liz is almost, she's such an asshole that I kind of love it.
Liz I like.
Yeah.
You know, she, I don't know.
And you know, she's a Miami girl.
As you guys know, I'm from Miami.
And now we found out that, what's her name?
Amy is also from Miami, which explains my dislike because i hate almost everybody from miami it's
the reason why i left the second i was old enough i was out of there now i know maggie listens as
far as i've heard to this podcast is that correct she is probably listening right now you know so i
don't want to be mean because i know she's listening so i'm going to be careful she and
nini leaks are listening together no you see that's why she said she, so I'm going to be careful. She and NeNe Leakes are listening together.
No, you see, that's why she said she listens,
so you'll be nice.
I know.
That's actually very clever,
but I'm just going to tell it like it is
because I don't think I'll be working with her.
We've said some terrible things about Maggie,
and she seems pretty cool with it all,
so go ahead.
Okay.
Her mannerisms make me want to break my television.
The constant hair touching.
That's what makes me crazy.
Oh, my God.
Stop pulling out your hair.
Constantly flipping the hair, the hair, the hair every two minutes.
I would hate to eat anything she's cooked because you know what I'm going to be fishing out of my mouth.
And there's just something about her that really rubs me the
wrong way she's very meek but also bitchy there's something i really i'm not a fan i mean she i'm
sure she's lovely i'm sure if i ever met her she's like cute or whatever but can i withstand her on
the show i really like that she's completely unenthused about everything.
I mean, it's her birthday.
She's like, it's my birthday.
I have to say, her talking head things are very funny.
I will give her credit.
They are funny.
I like, no, I was just going to say, I agree with you about how she's totally over everything. The baby voice thing, Maggie, if you're listening, you've got to stop with the baby voice.
She has a lot of these mannerisms, which maybe she grew up thinking that this would make her girly.
I could feel like she's trying to be very, like, joppy, girly, something there.
It's atrocious.
What do you think about her boyfriend and then also her boyfriend's friends?
Love the boyfriend's friend, the hot one that Amy wanted to fuck.
Uh-huh.
I would never have been so bold with him
because that's the kind of guy that would...
He wouldn't even date rate me.
No, that guy, like,
he would have no interest in me.
It makes me upset.
But he's hot.
Yeah, he is.
Her boyfriend's an ape animal.
You know, whatever.
I think the boyfriend is kind of attractive.
I've said before,
but he's hot.
Yeah. Boyfriend's not my style. I think all boyfriend is kind of attractive. I've said before, but it's not. Yeah.
Boyfriend's not my style.
I think all the guys, I expected them to be, like, douchebags and beat up the gay guy.
And when they turned out to be really cool with him, and then they were talking about how maybe one of the guys would fuck the gay guy.
That's very funny.
I started to like them because I was like, wow, the youth of America is really changing.
I like that, you know?
And then I liked when they were bowling.
I thought a lot of them were really cute.
And the boyfriend seems nice, but they don't seem right together.
Yeah.
I think in New York, there's like a different thing for guys.
It's like if the guys work out, then they're hot.
That's all they have to do is do some push-ups.
Right?
Yeah.
Why not?
He just said that the guys just have to do push-ups and they're
considered hot oh it's so oh please so easy for guys i was in vegas this week and i'm telling you
they were all animals but like half of them had six packs and they didn't look bad they don't
look vegas is one of those places that everybody's hot like everybody works out and they're all too
i mean well not all of them but you know know, there's definitely the contingent where everyone has those bodies.
It's like, where did you come from?
What town are you from?
Well, yeah.
I ate a slice of pizza today for lunch, and I feel fat, and I'm not going to be showing my head in Vegas anytime soon.
Well, I walked around Vegas in a pair of Spanx.
I felt like I looked great.
The three hottest guys that I saw there all looked at me so i felt great
about it they were hot not in a vegas way though you know what i mean like in a new york way oh
that's nice like the guy like the like the guy that uh that amy wants with the boyfriend or the
yeah the friend what's this well the friend is like no no that guy looks like a i didn't mean
a new yorkie like that oh that guy looks like a stockbroker asshole. Like a hot Wall Street asshole.
Right, right, right.
I love that.
I love that.
Let's talk about Amy for a second here.
Poor Amy.
Poor Amy.
I felt, you know...
Poor Amy!
I feel so bad for this girl.
Amy, I feel...
I feel like...
How do I explain it?
She...
Poor thing.
You know, she's not a pretty girl.
And she's got a pretty girl.
And she's got to know it.
And to put someone like that on TV around pretty girls, pretty-ish girls, who shit on her is just terrible.
Yeah, and by the way, you know, Liz said one of the reasons why she doesn't like associating with Amy is because Amy gets wasted and Liz went through rehab.
Hello, I saw Liz drinking wine on this episode.
I don't know what sort of rehab she went to, but I'm pretty sure you don't drink wine.
If you're admitting on TV that you're
a cokehead, you were probably doing heroin.
So a glass of wine is like,
you know. I think it's all
off limits. I think cigarettes is really the only
thing you're supposed to be doing if you've gone
through rehab.
Well, yeah, but I mean I think that I think that alcoholism thing you should be you're supposed to be doing if you've gone through rehab just well yeah but
i mean i think that i think that alcoholism is definitely better than heroinism that's very by
the way tweet that profound profound messages did you just come up with that ronnie
that's like a level of brilliance that's like oscar wilde shit
hilarious that's one of those lines that should be on the show
um you guys i think that um you know it's like i quit smoking but i'm still gonna keep smoking pot
and i don't feel guilty about it you know it's like's like, I go step down. Yeah, alright. Either way, I thought it
was, like, so awkward
and sad when Amy
shows up at this gallery with these
cupcakes and
is like, um, maybe if you have,
like, um, like, some time off,
like, maybe you might want to meet me for some coffee, and
I don't know, da-da-da. Like, I'll be around the
corner. I'll just be sitting there.
That's the reason why the Jews never fought back during the war.
People like Amy.
Too meek.
Too meek.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm a Jew.
I'm a Jew.
I always like to say it in case people get nervous.
Meanwhile, Liz is like, they're not even gluten-free.
What sort of friend is she that she doesn't even know that I can't eat gluten?
Yeah, great friend. She's like, like my apartment's nicer but hers is huge gluten-free people are the human worst
if you ever if you oh gluten for they call themselves glue tarts which is actually funny but
people who can't eat gluten it's all they'll talk about they're like oh if i eat that
it's like a bagel you push it away and i love it I eat that, it's like a bagel. You push it away.
I love that it's
a totally latent disease that
just happens to come on you at some point
in your life. All of a sudden, you're gluten
free. My sister is gluten free now.
It's like, when the hell did that happen? You're
in your 30s. She's like, if I even
touch a thing that's...
If I have that cracker, I'm going to be sick for
a week. I'm going to have headaches. I'm going to faint.
I'm going to... It's a fancy Atkins
diet. It's fancy Atkins.
Let's call it what it is.
Come on.
You guys, you know what I want to buy?
Side note. What?
Senza. What is Senza?
You mentioned that earlier to me.
It's a powder that you sprinkle on food
and you eat...
It sounds like fake sugar.
You eat less of it.
No, no, no.
They made a big mistake with the name because I agree.
I kept thinking it was like sort of salt sugar.
Like Splenda, yeah.
No, it is.
In many experiments, ones where people knew what it was and where people didn't, the average weight loss in six months is 30 pounds.
What?
Oh.
Where do you get this?
I'm looking it up right now.
Amazon.com.
Girl, I'm a prime member.
Okay, look.
I put Sensa in, and the first thing that comes up is Sensa.
Warning.
Do not try Sensa until you read the shocking facts.
That website doesn't work.
I clicked on it today.
See if it loads for you.
It won't.
I don't know.
Sensa probably killed it. Yeah, it today. See if it loads for you. It won't. I don't know. Sensa probably killed it.
Yeah, it works.
It says, how effective is this product?
Sensa is a weight loss product.
Blah-de-blah-de-blah-blah-blah-blah-de-blah-blah-blah.
Hold on.
I'm waiting to see where, like, bleeding out the eyes.
No, no.
No oily stools.
I'm telling you.
Weakness of Sensa.
Sensa is expensive.
There is no recommendation for healthy diet or exercise.
And results may take three to six months.
That's it.
I'll take it.
Girl, yes.
No recommendation for exercise is a bonus.
I'll support that.
I know.
It's all going to bounce.
I was like, this is terrible for you.
You lose weight without exercising or eating healthy.
Sing them. Yeah, sounds good to me. I don't know exercising or eating healthy. Sing them.
Yeah, sounds good to me.
I don't know. I'm a nervous Nelly.
I wouldn't have it.
Alright, well, I'm going to get thin, but the point I was
trying to make is, wow, the
girls on this show are so thin, except for
Amy. Poor Amy.
Poor Amy. She's like, I wonder
where to get cupcakes in New York City. Don't act
like you don't know, Amy.
Oh, poor Amy. Oh, like, I wonder where to get cupcakes in New York City. Don't act like you don't know, Amy. Oh, poor Amy.
Girl, she knows.
That's such an awkward conversation where someone's like, do you have a problem with me?
Like, what are you supposed to say?
I just don't like you.
You're a horrible human being.
I think you should have been aborted.
I don't like you.
Get out of my face.
Yeah, of course.
And she's just too needy.
You know, it's.
She is. I don't know you. Get out of my face. And she's just too needy. You know, it's. She is.
I don't know.
I feel bad for her.
She should have left well enough alone and had some self-respect as to not, like, she should first of all recognize that she does not have a true friendship with Liz.
That they went to preschool together and that's it.
Side note, I was stalking Amy today and I went to her Facebook page and she has two profile pictures.
One is her the way she is now.
And one is her when she's like five years old
and she's in a little red dress that says Amy on it
and she's cute as a button
but she's also the sort of girl
you can see that probably got teased
every single day of her life and I felt
so bad.
You should look up the picture. It's hilarious.
What's her last name?
Poli...
Poliak...
Poliak... I have no idea what's happening. last name? Polly, Polly, no, Polly, Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
I have no idea
what's happening.
You have to cut that out.
You have to have
that kind of name
on TV.
I'm having a secret.
Change your name.
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly,
Polly, Polly, She's like, oh, you don't like me because I'm from the Upper East Side and I dress nice? Sorry. Like that kind of girl. She looks like Jill Zarin.
She's the Muppet Baby's Jill Zarin.
I said it before.
I'll say it again.
With a little bit of Melanie Hustle in there.
A little.
A dash.
I feel like if Liz was friends with her, if she did hang out with her, Amy would just
talk shit and be hateful behind Liz's back anyway.
Yes.
Yes.
So I think it's a good move to just get rid of her.
You would think that Liz would actually hang out
with Amy because it's like that
social psychology thing of basking in the
reflected glory. There's always
an attractive girl who always has a really
unattractive friend because it makes the attractive
girl look more attractive and then the unattractive
friend gets to bask in the
reflected glory of her attractive
friends. You'd think that they would be a total match
but I guess not.
I see Amy as the little girl.
Do you see it?
She's all right.
I'm not looking.
She's okay.
There's a dog in the picture that is adorable.
I know.
I really hope.
Does she listen?
Oh, I hope she doesn't.
I don't know.
She tweeted at me today twice,
so I don't know if she's listening or not.
Well, let's put it this way. Amy, you're better than that. Yeah, Amy, have some she doesn't. I don't know. She tweeted at me today twice, so I don't know if she's listening or not. Well, let's put it this way.
Amy, you're better than that.
Yeah, Amy, have some self-respect.
Yeah, until next week when you look like a total asshole and start giving orders to someone who's not working for you.
But otherwise, you seem semi-nice.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, maybe she should hear this.
Maybe this hideous person should hear this.
This is a podcast intervention for Amy.
Yeah, I always feel bad.
I mean, I've said it before on this podcast, but I feel bad talking about the girls because it feels like they're kids and they're so insecure and stuff.
Like, I like making fun of the old ladies better.
Well, making fun of old ladies is always ten times more fun in general.
I feel like they should know better.
But the kids, I'm like, oh my god.
I mean, they're at least on TV.
What was I doing when I was 20, you know?
Not that.
Yeah, you were doing porn.
Yeah, that's right.
You were not.
Yes, I was.
Have you seen my baby arm?
So how many more minutes left until the podcast is over?
I think we're actually wrapping
up i mean there's nothing really left no kidding i don't i don't think there's much left to talk
about gallery girls i mean we didn't talk about angela that much but she didn't do that much
except you know her typical she admitted she was a shoplifter oh i could not believe if i own
barney's i would rather fucking call the police on her. I thought she was joking.
Absolutely not.
Oh, they're going to put facial recognition software in there and catch her ass.
It's like they have... But all Asians look the same.
All right.
Sorry, bad joke.
A bad joke.
By the way, I...
It's going to get pulled into security.
I did think it was kind of like
when Angela saw Liz's
tattoo sleeve, and she was like, you know,
at first I thought she was just like... Oh, I know.
Like some catty, like all those
OC girls. Then she had the tattoo. It makes me think that she
might be cool. I'm like, you are such a
fucking catty bitch.
You see one tattoo, and now all of a sudden she's cool.
I hate hipsters.
And she has Elkin tattoos. She can't even be buried in a Jewish cemetery. see one tattoo and now all of a sudden she's cool i hate hipsters yeah and she's oh tattoos
she can't even be buried in a jewish cemetery but you guys angela is doing a whole photo show
based around donuts do you make a favor could you could you imagine you were going to see a photo
show and like the photos were put together like the night before when she went walking around
the deli you know like that oh my god it's like a project runway challenge like you don't have to go around
the city and take pictures and they'll make a dress this bitch can't even make a fucking dress
wow i'll pay twenty thousand dollars for that picture of a crow she's gonna tell you what i
would buy if she had a painting called Crueller de Vil.
Still got it.
Still got it.
You can catch Michelle in the cat skills for the rest of the season.
Oh, shit. You should see my dog skills.
Oh, shit. She ain't done.
She ain't done.
Alright.
Okay, bye, everybody.
Is that it? No. Okay.
I think we are wrapping up. I mean, I don't think
there's really much else to talk about. I think we've been talking
for more or less an hour, you know, give or take.
It's okay. We don't have to fill up a full
hour because we went crazy
long laughing. There's a bug in the house.
Bug in the house.
That's the bug
that arrives to symbolize the end of the podcast
that's very sweet
that's the bug from Matt's house
that came up to her house
what's the bug in Matt's house? this is not a big one
oh yeah Matt Whitfield had a spider
this is a flying insect
you should have seen the bugs I saw this weekend
crazy things
oh shit alright well guys I have a case of skinny cows in the bugs I saw this weekend. Crazy things. Oh, shit.
All right.
Well, guys, I have a case of skinny cows in the freezer.
I got to get to them.
But this has been such a pleasure.
Can you hear me?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Michelle.
Thanks so much for coming on, Michelle.
Thanks for stepping in.
I had so much fun.
Thanks, guys.
It was fun.
And thanks, everyone, for listening.
You can find Ben at B-Side Blog.
You can find me at TVGasm.
You can find Michelle at Mishcall, M- can find me at TVGasm you can find Michelle at
Mishcall
M-I-C-H-C-O-L-L
and follow us at WhatCroppins
and we're on Facebook
Facebook.com
slash WatchWhatCroppins
Love you everybody! Bye!
Bye!
If you like listening to comedy try watching it Bye. Bye. Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there,
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