Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Hell? NOT FUN
Episode Date: March 23, 2018This week on Summer house, Amanda and Kyle whine fight for an hour. In other news, Stephen has boy trouble, Twerkus gets her twerk back, and Carl wears white pants again. Enjoy! This week's b...onus about Vegas and the first two parts of the Married2Med Reunion! To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to Chicago, San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens Podcast!
The podcast about all that crap, we just love to talk about on Yeo Bros.
I'm Ronnie Keram from Hell.
And this is my little bestie and favorite partner in life and love and well not love, but
you know, Fred Love and the internet.
Ben Mantelker, who's from Hell.
known as Lucifer.
Lucifer and Satan, you're probably wondering what the hell we're talking
about. Make it sexy Satan. Sexy, sexy, sexy, six, six, six,
hmm, episode six, six, six, six. Guys, it is episode six, six, six, six. You know what,
FU Satan, do not ever try and get in my life, I will, I have the power of the Lord with
me, okay? So we are not celebrating Satan, but you know,
it's 666 day and it's also the day
Lindsey on summer house was like,
I'm only like fans because of Everett.
He's gone now and I'm like, well, congrats.
Welcome to the extra system.
So it all worked out.
Yeah.
Could there be anything more appropriate
for our most hellish episode
than to cover summer house?
Hell on earth is the summer house. Yes, Kyle's new girlfriend
Steve is crying a lot. Yeah, it's full. Yeah, exactly. So here we are
episode 666 talking about the hellish fiends of summer house. The Hamptons can't spell Hamptons without an age and age is also in hell so there
Speaking of Satan
Guess who's coming to our live-zone Detroit this week?
Satan hopefully not Satan you guys what if say maybe maybe someone dressed in satin
We'll be like you missed the theme Joe you miss actually I'm not sure if you're going to be I'm not sure if you're going to be I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be
I'm not sure if you're going to be I'm not sure if you're going to be You see, yeah, it was like too hockey. It was too. Oh, it was well, that's polo not hockey. But yeah, as again
It was like it's like hockey on horse. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for saving me because I was like, um, remember where my friend was
Miles and the basket and hockey. Yeah, you know, it's funny. We live in LA and one of the most famous hockey players
Win Gretzky played hockey and he was on the LA team. So like LA hockey. It's like meant to be
Oh, Ness.
So yeah, we're gonna be in Detroit.
Hockey capital of, I don't know, I'm just making that up.
But we're gonna be there this Saturday night
during the original episode, the premiere episode
of Vanderpromp Rules, which should be interesting
because we hated that, or I hated that show's guts.
The first time I had it.
So I hated it too.
I was like, what the fuck is this?
Why is this on my TV?'m not going to watch a show about
entitled waiters and waitresses we know this time we see them all around town and now here we are yes here we are
Yeah, I was one of I was and still am sometimes one of those entitled waiters
Which kind of explained a lot of my hate I was projecting but, I'm sure when I watch it for the first time again,
I'm gonna hate it just as much.
And it's gonna be interesting to see how many things came true
in real life.
Yeah, it really will be.
I'm excited to revisit Van Ramp Rool's.
I'm excited to go to Detroit tomorrow.
Really, honestly, for Saturday,
it was a big toss up between covering
Van Ramp Rool's season episode one, or just revisiting Tucker
a man in his dream.
That's just a movie about automobiles, which felt appropriate to Detroit.
But we decided Vanderpump rules would be the better one.
I don't think it was a good choice.
I think it's a good choice.
I mean, we can still talk about cars and stuff and Michigan things.
We can talk about like, we can talk about M&M.
We can talk about Detroit Lions. Oh, I forgot&M. We could talk about the Detroit Lions.
Oh, I forgot to mention,
Detroit Lions gonna come as a guest.
Really?
No.
Is his name St. John?
His name is, oh, there was a Detroit Lion
who I really liked a lot.
Not Stafford.
What's his face?
They're really, they called him Megatron. He's tall. Really? Are you asking me?
Liza Manelli, the best, the best Denver Bronco I've ever heard of from Detroit.
Oh, I'll look up his name. He's super famous Calvin Johnson. So Calvin Johnson might come. We've just invited him a second ago on the podcast and we're just waiting to hear back.
Also Calvin and Hobbs and Satan.
Okay.
So Calvin and Hobbs will be there.
That's for sure.
That's what we name our drink coosies.
Calvin and Hobbs.
Can we get on with this hellish episode?
Yes, please.
Yes, please.
Let's get on with it.
Oh, did we say you got to watch our crap and calm to get tickets, by the way, to the
show?
Yes, that is what you do.
Thank you, Bianne.
Even if you're in hell.
That's what you do.
So here we are with another episode of the Summer House.
Summer House from Hell.
This soaping after Vanderpump rules, I'm sorry to everybody who has to listen to me say the pump rules can be pilot call it pump house
summer pump house
summer pump so how does this episode what is the theme of it episode would you say?
The theme song or the thing that he's right. I was gonna ask you for a macro note
But you know what we've already made too many
tasteless, stupid hell jokes that don't even make sense.
So let's just get into it.
Going for time, I'm tapping for time because I'm looking at my soulmate's house notes.
I had real housewives of Atlanta pulled up and I was like, oh my god, we have to talk
about meanies, rape jokes again on this show, but we did.
Yeah, no, we don't have to do that.
This episode opens up with Lindsay tromping around going, I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm not a man has done to.
I'm throwing my shoes on the ground.
Kyle Kyle.
Kyle, you scared off Lindsay before we even have my guac.
Kyle.
Yes, Lindsay is furious. And for those of you who don't remember why,
every center flowers.
Oh my goodness. What? I mean, what a dick.
So no flowers on birthday. I mean, like, come on, like, read the room.
Asshole.
Guess who else is mad? The people who own this this house because Lindsay as much of a party planner
She is and told us about 20 times last time didn't hire any staff
So you know clean up the food off the table and that's that's showing you what kind of day
I'm having when I'm mad about food left on the table like that. Yeah, so I was mad too
I'm like hello
But my only one who knows how to carry a couple plates come on guys
You know what else made me mad was Kyle getting wasted.
He was wasted and he passed out on his bed with his shoes on.
I'm like, take your shoe.
You may be drunk, but you got to take your shoes off.
And I was very happy that later in the episode, it seemed to come up.
Amanda was like, but Kyle, don't forget your take your shoes off this time.
I was like, thank you.
Well, don't you remember that's like their long term fight. She's like, now that you're 35,
how it's time to start taking off your shoes
before you got a bed.
It's like, come on.
Seriously, your shoes, it's like they're
ongoing fight of these shoes in the bed.
So yeah, exactly.
So it's the next morning, because Lindsay's,
Lindsay everyone's gone to sleep, including Kyle,
the shoes on in the bed. All that crap is on the table. I's, everyone's gone to sleep, including Kyle with the shoes
on in the bed. All that crap is on the table. I mean, it's terrible. I'm surprised there
weren't more bugs or animals crawling all over it. A meat is cleaning a bowl, which kind
of sums up his arc for the episode. And life, because you know, it's always clean
in some kind of a bowl. Yeah, just a little bowl. Yeah. I mean, it's a good mid-sized bowl
that could hold like a large salad
But can't serve an entree that that is a resin smoker right there
I'm we recognize each other okay when the bowl is empty you clean it and you smoke that resin
I'm with you a meat. No, no, it was no it was an actual bowl. No, I know but a bowl
I you say like a bowl of weed I know but I was saying this was an actual kitchen bowl from my Kia
I know and I'm always and I was saying this was an actual kitchen bowl from IKEA. I know, and I'm always, and I was saying who's on first?
I was playing double. Get it? The double meaning of bowl. You guys, you just can't stop me. They okay. But then he knocked over all the pins.
He said they got her. See, there's third meeting for bowl. Why do bowlers always want to fuck me? I think a limiter. Oh my god, enough about sports. A fourth meeting for bowl.
Well, that's what I actually know.
I'm bold over.
OK, so let's see here.
Kyle, drunk Kyle, normally with alcoholics,
I'm like, oh, call me when you're just kind of drunk.
Not necessarily sober, but just when you've learned
to be kind of drunk, call me.
But Kyle, I just love.
He can eat on his feet when he's asleep.
And then he performs and gets into bed.
And he's like, my name's Kyle.
I'd really like to show you my...
Yeah.
I think Kyle is a really funny angry drunk.
Like, normally I hate angry drunks.
And I don't, I hate when guys get drunk on these shows
and then talk down to the women.
And Kyle definitely does it
But he's still kind of like funny when he does it. I'm like, you know
as angry as angry talker down or men go we're drunk
Because probably the best of them
Moonsy reacts to this all I didn't even get to eat my fucking cake.
I'm 20.
That was your choice.
Yeah, she's like, you're gonna have cake for breakfast.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, I want a better car, I want a better man, Mr. Entomans, like, they
have it.
Carol's like, what happened last night?
Did she even get her flowers?
I got shot.
I was the messenger.
He's like, everyone was embarrassing a dinner, not just me.
Everyone was embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure it was just you, Kyle, with the one
who fell on your face.
And he's like, I had to defend ever because my best friend,
like, you don't really don't have to defend him at all.
You just had to deliver the note and the flowers from
you know, A&P and just be done with that.
Yes. And Amanda was the one who made him wait till dinner. He could have gotten that over
with by just giving it to her right when he got there and having her throw it against
a wall and get over it by the time she was drunk. One thing we've learned about this
cast is two things when you're sober. Two things that are going to be explosive, maybe
when you're not drinking because Lindsay,
a couple of drinks get inside Lindsay,
I know she likes to say,
guess what the common denominator is
whenever I'm crazy Lindsay, it's Everett.
No, it's at your drunk.
Yeah, like no one for like,
like Everett did not really ruin your dinner,
like your reaction to flowers,
you could have been like,
whatever, but you went crazy, That's not ever its fault.
And I'm not gonna defend every day.
It's heradora.
Okay, it's heradora.
Yeah, so you.
I was just saying, Carl, I'm already like a little lost in my notes,
but I believe we're at Carl's face timing with his mom.
Are we there?
Are we there?
Hmm.
We just like,
but flowers in the dump, which I thought was really fun.
Oh, yeah, I'm not even throwing these away inside because single insy throws these all the way outside big alley in the dumb
Like way to make an effort miss getting up her own plate
Exactly, they're like muscle they left muscles out. I think I would I look like there's paea of some sort of with muscle
I saw muscle shells muscle muscle muscle muscle muscle muscle muscle muscles
I like muscles
So Carl is the only person who's always thinking of getting laid
And you can tell because he's like people are gonna be mean to me on this show, bro, Jent
So I'm gonna call my mom and check in. I'm like you just show them a good mom is more
Yeah, she's like so you're having to eat. I'm having twisted to you. Oh
Hey, Jents one has some twisted to have some twisted tea with me and my mom?
Tea time, my mom, Jens.
Like sponsor, check.
Mom love check.
Pussy about to be chance.
My priority right now is MOM, OK?
So I can get LAID, all right?
With some TWS, T-E-D-T-E-A, bro, Jens, T-E-N-T-S.
I have hashtag twisted tea, hashtag. And he's like, bro, Gents, GN, D.S. Hashtag, Tostatee, Hashtag.
And he's like, hashtags, hashtags for the B.O.Y.S.
He's really going for this because he's not just calling us mom.
He's just keep spiraling it on.
He's like, whoa, is that new hair, mom?
What did you do to your hair?
OK, Kyle.
There's like pussy, just like banging a game for the window,
like birds flying into a window.
Mom, the resolution on your face time is really excellent these days. I guess that just comes from being a great mom, right mom?
He's like, how do you feel about the weekend? She's like, you know, seeing you gave me somewhere I belong. I'm like, he made you take a bus eight hours into the Hamptons, okay?
Yeah, there's nothing that says you don't belong to.
For one night, I took, I took an eight hour bus to get here, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I really liked you.
And I didn't book you a hotel room, by the way.
Also, you're sharing a room with somebody else who loves you.
A mom you don't know.
How fun.
Love your new mayor, mom.
But I inherently love both of you moms because I love my moms
I wish that show from the 90s was called my two moms instead of my two dads
I know I miss moms love you so much moms
I probably instead of called I was just instead of like um like I was gonna say grinder. What's the straight one?
Moms are I wish instead of bagel and coffee. They would have an app called my mom and coffee or a bagel and my mom
I wish instead of mom I wish I was just a nurse called mom
And I could just like swipe right on my mom all the time and swipe left it just always my mom
They like there's my mom again. It's gonna be like an app except it's where the mom's get to choose
I wish instead of okay, but it's called okay mom. I'd be like
where the moms get to choose. I was just said of, okay, Q, but it's called, okay, mom.
I'd be like, do you want me to do something?
Okay, mom.
But I'm not okay.
Okay, I would go, mom, there's pussy in my window.
So, Lindsay and Lauren's like, I'm a god, here we are.
In a bad, it's me, you.
It's me and you and Lindsay.
Lindsay.
It's a bad, Lindsay.
I guess I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm a god.
I'm a god.
I'm a god.
I'm a god. I'm a god. I'm a god. I'm a god. I remember last time I did. I remember last time I did. I remember it on the screen. I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did.
I remember last time I did. I remember last time I did. I remember last time I did. I remember last time I did. I remember last time I did. Dear Lindsey, it's me, Irver.
I didn't want to tell you you're the pink to my pong.
You're the salad to my tongue.
You're like the sweet to my sour and the girl to my power.
And like, I can't live without you.
And like, all I want is you.
I've got up my legs for you or my fingers.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Lindsey! Jenna's beautiful girl. I know inside and out. for you or my fingers. Lindsay!
To the most beautiful girl I know inside of now.
I want to yours, you want, you're only there.
I never truly knew who love was until we began our journey.
I remember that journey, started at a rice paddy field.
I saw you hiding in the bushes and I was like,
come here, young girl.
And you were like, no, I don't want to go with you,
ever.
And I was like, no, I'm here to see you.
So we walked across the rice pad and I took it to the air base.
I was like, get on that helicopter.
We're going to safety now.
We wrote that helicopter.
And the entire time, all that watchers kept on getting messed up
because the magnetism has so much magnetism between us.
We flew in circles that day.
Our compasses wouldn't work.
But we finally got home and
That magnetism is something neither of us can shake and it's time we come together rather push away
Love ever
Longest letter ever. Okay. It was like a five-page letter when she got to the second page
I was like, please say that's just a big dick draw number letter. It's a good drawing
This is my entry for when is a draw. What do you think?
And Lindsay's like shut up
It's just false shot. I was like whatever. Thanks for making us sit through it and the twins like oh my god
Lindsay I hate to say this but without him you've been back to fun. Let's see like they're all
Last week was you like you were like that was not you that was like bad Lindsay. Yeah, I was like fun
Lindsay without a target for it. Yeah, like a gun
Like you're gonna do just big. I don't know. I'm gonna be shooting. Sure.
Hands like somebody. Sam like nobody.
What's the cancer?
You found the time like Campbell ship is like the bios like for so like that's good.
So I would just like to reiterate that Lindsay is still the same person.
She just doesn't have somebody to yell at.
Okay.
Who's she going to yell at?
The wall?
No.
Yeah.
Ever it's just there.
It's like a, you know, it's a punching bag.
Yeah.
So Kyle, um, to make up for his behavior last night, he brings a cake up to Lindsay.
I just want to say Kyle, obviously big fan of Kyle, he
needs to work on his frosting game because there was like a ring of cake around that cake.
Like that frosting, the frosting is to go all the way to the edge. You got to frost
that shit. No thin frosting, make a big old thick thing of frosting, right? Am I the
only one that's just me? Just me. I think it was just made for Lauren to hit somebody in the face with it but now she's like I've got
now I'm totally not they don't want to they're scared they're scared to fully
commit to the frosting because then it learns there yeah they're like this is the
hell episode it's like that it's like that commercial the milk commercial where
that like asshole is like screaming at his mom gets run over by a car and then
he winds up and it looks like it's heaven is a big stack of chocolate
cookies and he's like oh my god I'm in heaven and he eats this chocolate
cookie and he opens up the fridge and it's all this milk and every container is empty and it's like no
you're in hell yeah that's my first guy else like I made you a cake out of babies and she's like oh my
god you guys thank you is there more frosting so guess's happening. I really wouldn't know were it not for the soundtrack
And I mean it's like hey guys mommy let's we should go brunch and they're like okay. Yeah, I mean
So they all go to brunch and Kyle's getting like he gets orders of gimlet
I mean I say Kyle
Pace yourself. We have guac later
I
So started with don't turn up. So how about we start over? How about that?
And it means like you guys got any plans and I think we all collectively said at the same time do you?
meets like you guys got any plans and I think we all collectively said at the same time do you at any point during this season any plans at all do you
feel like participating in the show at all who cast him who cast the meat I'm
sorry major failure major major failure and the meets so he says that and
cast like well maybe I'm gonna sleep with my girlfriend
Maybe cookies gonna be in a cookie sheet with this girlfriend kind of remembered to take off my clothes this time Hong guys and she's like Kyle just your shoes am higher Amanda am higher, okay? Yeah, yeah
So as they're sitting around the table, um, you know talking about
Kyle and Amanda and whether or not they're going to move in together.
And Kyle's like, well, you know, it's been like a topic,
um, a topic I'm invoiting because I don't want to move in.
Because I don't want to do a boy, you know, having Vanderpromp rules and then this where everybody's like,
I'm just a Peter Pan.
Kind of getting sick of all of it with these guys.
I really just want to watch a show where there's a guy with a job.
Okay.
Well, I also want to say that on the flip side of that, this whole thing that a man
is doing, like you turn 35, I thought you'd be an adult.
It's like it doesn't happen overnight.
You don't just like a day happens and then all of a sudden every, it's not like a
system update that that occurs.
It's not like, excuse me, Adobe Systems is here to update Kyle's, you know, his firmware, you know.
Like the notification just keeps coming on
and you say remind me tomorrow.
Remind me tomorrow.
Yeah, remind me tomorrow.
It's like, are you ready now?
I'm like, it was only an hour.
It's like, I know, but I thought by tomorrow, you'd forget.
So I hate that thing.
Always.
But I guess Amanda's kind of becoming that reminder like
remember how you didn't want to marry me is it gonna be different now this week?
No it's not why are all these women begging man it's like what you think the
man has to come around to want to marry you go find someone who wants to marry you
yeah this is the first thing any man like this is gonna use when he cheats on
you is I told you I wasn't ready that's always the first fucking thing run girl run
I think I think Kyle actually will
Like I don't think that Kyle is like a jacks. I think that Kyle would marry Amanda
I think he's just gonna move slowly, but I think I feel like I feel like
Yes, we've had a lot of these Peter Pan syndrome situations going on
But I don't I actually don't think that Kyle is that Peter Panney
I know that sounds crazy. I think he drinks a party's hard
But party hard does not mean that you're Peter Pan
It just means party alcoholic. Yeah, he just simply has substance abuse issues
Which is totally different like his the rest of its development's great
Yeah, he's totally mature in the daytime
Yeah, I mean he obviously is doing well. He has a bike hung on his wall on his apartment.
Yeah, Peter Pan didn't have gigantic bottles of rosé.
So yeah, exactly.
Good luck.
Peter Pan.
You got a lot of him rosé.
Hey, Peter Pan, how's brunch?
You wouldn't know.
Would you never had rosé?
Huh?
Got him.
Yeah, he's like, how would I know?
I'm going to Wendy's.
So you got a lot of people on this show showing them how it's done.
Because Amanda and Kyle have already been bitching at each other.
They start this lunch with her bitching and him and acting him as tough.
And so the trend's like, so what about moving it together?
What about that? What about that?
I can say, oh my god. So yeah, then he makes an ass out of himself.
And she's like, you're blowing that over really quick
Kyle and he's like, uh, I don't think you have to move in to move a relationship
Forward and secure together anyway. Who cares? Oh my god. He's rolling his eyes. That ain't right. That ain't right
Like you guys come down and have your hamburger. Yeah, exactly. Just let's just
Just go back to the city. I need more. Yeah, go back. So speak in the city
We have my favorite thing
that the show does is they're like lay mass attempt to give us a glimpse of their lives
in the city. It's like New York City. Look, Lindsey answered a phone. Oh my God, a meat's
walking a dog that's not even his. Oh, Kyle, he's going to do a social blast.
But you know, Lindsey's really a boss bitch because she calls everyone in short names
and the people that she's talking to, call her in short names too.
Like her assistant is like some teenage
off the street making no money named Brianna
and then the guy who calls her is Bri.
So it's like,
Hey, it's me, Bri.
Bri's on the phone, Lindsay.
And she's like, oh my god, Bri.
And he's like, hey, Lynn, she's like, hey, Bri,
Bri, thanks, Bri.
Thanks.
It's like, okay, white people.
Listen, when you are in the life and the fast lane, you don't have time for a full name.
You know, you know, right?
Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
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breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, Car, car, car, car. Hey, car, can I get the car?
Yeah, OK, I got the car.
I heard.
Car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car, car because it's gonna be a blind date for Lauren out of the blue. It's like great story development.
We'll just like have this happen.
So Lauren's like, yeah, it's so weird.
How you can be friends with all of a sudden?
Because like, who would have thought that would become friends?
I'm like, well, probably anyone
because we lived in the house together.
And if you hadn't gone crazy in the summer,
it would have been totally conceivable
that you guys would have become friends.
But anyway.
You're both fucked Carl.
It's like, we both like Rocky Road.
Let's go and a blind date together.
Ah. I don't know. I like the Danielle's like, are you excited? And she's, yeah.
Like that's hilarious. Okay. So she's like on, oh yeah. Oh, honestly, I didn't know the last time I went on a blind date.
Like Ash doesn't even know. You know, first Danielle, that's crazy. Like you know before Ashley. Okay.
She's got a group back. I'm like like she knows because she set up to blind date. Yeah
One time one time Carl got salt in his eyes and he's like, oh my god
I can't see and I was like oh my god
This is like a blind date because you can't see as I curl are we gonna blind date Carl Carl Carl Carl
Check out my weight on you. I don't even remember when that was it's been so long
I don't even remember I remember when last time Carl blinded himself. It's so weird
He like put some twisted to his eyes and I'm like Carl
Why'd you put the twisted to your eyes and he's like, I don't know. And I was like,
Carl, you got to think about what you do, Carl. Carl, if we're in this relationship, you can't
put twisted T in your eyes. And he puts them in my eyes. I was like, Carl, no, I can't see.
And I hit myself in the wall. And I was like, was that, was that, was that, was that
wall last time that was, I was like, a wall, I was blind. I was like, oh, my head wall.
It's like, I got a mental wall. And I'm like, oh, is this a double wide date? I'll never,
never put twisted T in my eyes again. Hi, what's your name again?
Is this a double wide bait? I'll never put, I'll never put it to my eyes again.
Hi, what's your name again?
So then we, we're cross cutting with Steven,
who's meeting this guy Travis for their like third date.
I don't know what the peel is with Travis,
but to each their own.
Is he?
I think he's so cute.
He's like a little mini gay effort.
He's cute, he's gay effort to me. I think it's a little. He's like cute. He's so cute. He's like a little mini gay effort. He's cute. He's gay effort to me. He's like cute. He's not cute. He's like cute. So um
So Steven's they have great chemistry. So Travis is like, how is home? And Steven's like, I saw my family.
Which I was like, welcome back. He goes, he goes, thank you. I saw my family farm.
Oh, there are bees.
Oh, bees like me like, it's just no real bees.
I got a big in my faith.
There's a face.
Be oh, I hate face.
Yeah.
So then cut back to the other day, The girls on their date and Lindsay's like,
oh, yeah.
Oh, not Lindsay.
The twin is like, hey, yeah.
It's like when a guy doesn't get it
and he's super aggressive and Daniel's like,
yeah, and you're like back up.
I'm like, oh my god.
Sebastian's the best woman in power in this situation.
Yeah.
It's been back on the guy's rapy.
Yeah.
How do we got in on this light conversation guys? And then
back on Steven's date. Oh, did you want to tell me else about the other? I mean, go,
go, this is where the guys, this is where the guys come in. So Dan, y'all has a new guy,
because you know, Kevin the DJ like a guy named Kevin the DJ really just doesn't last long.
I think we can all. Kevin the DJ was cute, but you could tell he was just a massive,
dude. Listen, you don't want like a guy who just walked out of Brooks Brothers to play EDM
at a Hampton's pool party.
It's just, that's a bad sign.
That's just douche baggler everywhere.
Yeah, but it's so hard to tell on this show because they love that.
This is like a white people in the Hampton show.
They love shit like that.
And this is a perfect example.
These two guys come in.
They have the exact same hair.
It's dou to hair.
They both work.
Well, the Justin, the blind date, I thought was pretty hot.
I thought that was even more spicy.
I was just like, yeah, I was just like,
you like Travis, but Justin's more of the bearded gents
that we were seeing.
Justin would be more, is the top of the gents pyramid
for me.
The top of the bento mid.
The bento.
Considering that these are none of these guys are my type.
The twin is like, well, he's tall, dark and handsome.
I mean, it's a cliche, but you know, so is Sunday,
Sunday, do that. So is, you know, waist not want not.
I hate wasting things. You know, there's a lot of things that are true.
Tall, dark and handsome.
A bird, a bird in your hand is worth more than 12 and a bush.
I forgot, I forgot other ones.
Can't cry for spill milk.
Can have your cake in e2.
You can put in Carl's face, Carl.
He can however, prior to spill water.
Oh, spoiler alert, spoiler alert.
So then over on Steven's date, the, the chemistry is just off the charts.
Are you excited for your birthday?
Yeah.
Cool. Yeah. Cool. Thank you, Houston.
Yeah.
Stephen, go ahead.
We just met, but we're having fun.
And that's a lot for me.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Do you want another drink?
Yeah.
Me too.
Yeah.
Some fun.
Yeah. Yeah, some fun. Yeah, yeah.
And the bonus across America started banging the TV. It's like,
it's like moon lighting. And then back on the other day,
a belly dancer came through and Lauren, I was surprised Lauren didn't
already start texting Carl. Carl, Carl, why is our belly dancer here?
You should have told me about Carl. What is that? Carl. Carl, why is there a belly dancer here? Yeah, she'll tell me about her.
What is that?
Is the dancer belly or the belly dancer?
At least you could have told me Carl, how do you like your girlfriend?
She's dancing for me now.
At least you could have told me it was that you're gonna send your girlfriend over to my
date.
Carl, I got my mojo back.
I was like, did you still get her grew back or did you get your mojo back?
And when did you retire and move to Florida?
She was like, wow, can you believe it happened?
Like you're in your like 20s or something
You never lost your mojo honey
So then we go over to a third dinner. This is like the most New York time
You've had in a while and it's Kyle and Amanda and they're at dinner and I don't know what restaurant
They're at but the waiter was wearing a soul soul soul cycle shirt, which already was very suspect
I would just leave the restaurant then and there well speaking speaking of suspect, it was 80s detective music that was playing. It's like,
the thung.
It's like, oh god. It's someone gonna arrest one of Matlock's neighbors. It's like wacky 80s detective
music. And she's like, well, have the ranzino. And I was like, yes, Bravo. It's a Bravo farm,
ranzino. They have a ranzino agenda. It's a strong brand Zeno agenda and they're pushing it and I welcome it
Yeah, it's bony. It's a bony fish
I had it at Sparons and silver like that restaurant and I I was like, this is so good. Bone, bone, bone, bone, Carl, bone, Carl, bone. I love to. So, um, so Amanda's like,
hi Kyle. I've been looking for apartments all day. Can't seem to find one. Kyle, I wonder if you
know a place where I could just put my feet up at the end of the day,
like a bed that I could sleep in.
Kyle.
When there is a place to hang my hat, Kyle.
I think do you want me to call a cut check?
It's just as long pause while he stares at her and then he goes, any luck?
Yeah.
And she goes, oh, I mean, it's all a lot of them. Kyle, that is, there
wasn't one where like, this is the one he's like, I know the feeling. He's the fancy
no ready. I'm Kyle. I brought like a bowl to all of them. And I was like, can I make my
walk here? And it's like, kitchen to small kitchen to small. He's like, whoa, I ordered the biggest drink on the menu.
It's like that so you, Kyle.
Think about all the times we could be joking
about our drinks if we live together, theoretically Kyle.
Yeah, this is, I just wrote,
girls shouldn't have to back guys to come around
to being with them.
That makes me freaking crazy.
Yeah.
So they all go back to the Hamptons and it's like
Hamptons, Hamptons, Hamptons, Hamptons,
and then they get to...
We went back, we're all free, we're going back.
Yeah, Quagg.
So then they get there and it's like something smells weird in the kitchen.
Like something died in here.
I'm like, it's probably Lindsey's dinner that you still haven't put away.
It's some muscles outside.
Yeah.
And Carl's, I don't know if he knows this, Carl's wearing a shirt that says,
if you already know this, it's just me and my boys bopping.
Oh, god.
Gosh, shut up, Carl.
I know it's probably a reference to something, but I don't even want to know what it is.
Me and my boys bopping.
Hey, Jens, more go bop.
Mamba, more Jens.
Think Kyle labels himself a game which I was like
Cookie almost blue cookies
Like I've never been someone makes up a name for themselves and then just reiterates it over and over for waiting to catch on
I think actually they named him cookie. I actually think that was not a Kyle Kyle original
I actually think that was not a Kyle, Kyle original. Kyle.
So they're all sitting there and being like, whoa, it smells so nasty.
I just want a puke and then he's like, does he don't want to order a sushi?
The last thing I want to eat is sushi at the smell of dead possum.
So they end up going to a burger joint instead.
And then we cut back to Steve. Oh no, where was Stephen
again? He's up. Stephen's upstairs. He's like, I got a bottle to kill off a Travis's birthday.
And is it me? Was that the same bottle to kill that they had in band-a-pump rules at their resort?
You see, it's the brand Z know and that liquor and fire. I like it. I like it. Looked like a queen
from chess. You know? Checkers? Okay.
Like no.
It looks like a...
I just like the shape of the bottle.
The horse.
You mean the horses?
No.
Bullink?
You like...
Harky?
Hell!
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Diss and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin
and Haley Bieber, a seemingly
innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling,
and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative
designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.
Hey, Satan, yes, I'm back.
So, Steven's telling Danielle about the conversation
he had with his family, because last week's speaking of hell, that's where I think his parents think he's going
because we are, we get a sort of flashback to that very heartbreaking scene of Steven
with his parents, which is so sad. But he's, so he's talking to Danielle about that. And,
you know, Danielle's really sweet. I'm really enjoying Danielle now.
Yeah, she's nice. She doesn't do a lot, but she's a nice girl.
I feel like she's loosened up. I feel like she's just like, whatever. I'm just gonna have fun now.
I don't add anything, but I'll have fun. Yeah, and I'm getting way hotter, guys, on the show.
She really is. She does get some fine boys on the show. She's getting the hottest guys.
I know. Every single week. I went from being bored to being completely jealous.
Yeah, I love that sort of arc.
That's my favorite arc.
Yeah.
So Daniel's like, yeah, that was really sad.
It's like the saddest thing ever,
the parents of the blah, blah, blah.
And then they're like, it's a burger place.
Yeah.
It's like nice, you know.
It meets like the nice way to get to a restaurant there.
Oh, yeah.
It's good.
I think that's a good seasoning on that. Yeah, that's a good season, right?
Yep, that's a good one.
Pretty good.
So Amit, Amit, is like, does Juan go sushi?
I'm like, exciting.
And then, yes, so now the bros and Daniel are out to dinner.
And Carl is called a Sogeant.
So gageant.
How was home?
How was home for you?
This is hilarious.
He's trying to, he's sitting right across from Stephen,
and he's trying to make a conversation,
and every time he talks, Stephen does that thing,
he doesn't just roll his eyes, he turns his head.
He's the thing where he's looking around the restaurant,
really violently.
He only talks to Daniel.
He's only answering Daniel.
So, he goes, hey, Gageent, how was home? And he's like, great touched Daniel. He's only answering Daniel. So, Carl's like, hey, Gage, how was home?
And he's like, great, Daniel.
Yeah.
But I don't want to talk about it.
And then he does the head jerk thing to Carl.
Like, is Carl?
Yeah.
Carl's, I mean, every question Carl asked,
Stephen just turned to Daniel and respond.
He's like, so, Gent, how's your food?
It's fine. Is your your food? It's fine. Uh, how is your chair comfortable?
It's fine.
So I need to call my mom right now on Facebook.
Hey mom, look, it's Stephen and hey say hi to my mom.
And he's like, hi, Danielle.
My mom got me hair.
I like any hair, Danielle.
You want to put some twisted to me to Steven? No
Kyle guys like this is fart on a plane awkward, okay, and then Carl's just gonna ignore it
He's like, um, yeah, Jen. So this is great. It's great talking to you, Steven
Great. It's a great
Steven no offense, but I thought that most awkward thing that would happen to me would be getting a blowjob from my best-gen friend.
And you seem to be making it more awkward.
This is more awkward than you have blowjob from my best-gen friend.
So you're not going to lie about it, MMR.
You're the liar.
So over at the house, Lindsay is with the twin and a meat, and of course it's Lindsay.
So she's like, I love it.
How about three, Zom?
You were thinking about it. I did's Lindsay. So she's like, I love about three. Zom. You were thinking about it.
I did met out.
Sushi there.
Can she say sushi at less awkward times?
Every time she says sushi, it's like the most awkward time.
I mean, it's like, guys,
I always think about three Sims.
We're talking about three pieces of sushi, right?
I love a three-sum.
Please don't touch me.
Yeah. He's like, I wanna touch you with,
like I touched sushi with chopsticks.
Very, very long chopsticks.
So back at the restaurant,
Carl tells the table that he's invited a girl named Lindsay,
a different Lindsay to the house tomorrow.
And we see a flashback of Carl just talking to the girl.
He just, we just hear him say,
good to see you.
And I'm like, shut up, Carl. I don't know him say good to see you and I'm like shut up Carl
Why good to see you Jens? Yeah, I'm still not really sure what Carl did in this situation
Nothing you did nothing. I still though. It is really fun to watch aggressively passive aggressive Stephen just trying to send with his head jerks
Yeah, because Carl's like y'all well, I miss his girl. Nice to meet you.
Flashback comes back and he's like, she's cool.
I mean, Steven jerks his head and he's like,
where's this thing?
And then he starts like moving his head,
like bubbling his head around it, everybody like,
am I right?
Am I right?
Got it?
Am I right?
And Carl's like, well, she's coming over, but I was thinking that like, you know, she can stay over if that's cool. M-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- would I do that? And like, we have a group chat, which is by the way true. Carl, that's kind of bullshit. They'd be like, like, when would you do that as
if like modern communication didn't have not been invented? But then, then again,
what I do, Carl's right to, because it's like, they show like how everyone in
the house has had guests. And then Carl, like asked for one person, they're like,
well, Carl, you have to sign a form.
And then Carl's is like trying to stay on everybody's side. He's like,
well, the difference
is with you is that you've got to respect Lauren because you didn't date her that time.
So you got to give way advanced notice.
Yeah, he's like, well, the difference to you, Carl, is that no one likes you. So we just
want to make you jump through groups. Thanks. Yeah, pretty much. Thanks for paying for
our burgers. Wait a minute, Mom, but you're credit card number.
Yeah, thank you.
I'm still here.
God, finally I believe.
The mom's just been the FaceTime again the entire time.
Yeah, thanks to the burger.
Carol's like, my iPhone's going to take the bill.
Oh, this is FaceTime.
Could someone order me a tea, please?
The burger's talking.
Oh, wait.
It's my mom behind the burger on FaceTime.
So let's see I just was laughing because they're like never going out because the Twitted Lindsay
Lindsay's like I'm saying I'm for Szechy and then the trend's like
What's testing me as a wingman and go out and just like yeah, I love wings
So they go out and I love when they were out that they can only shoot in the bathroom
This town hates them so much. It's like they hate them. They're
just being seriously parking and they're like, no, you cannot park this label out of
the iPhone camera in a bathroom. Some hotel, some place in Montauk, I forget what's
called. I think the Timber lodge or something like that. I forgot. There's some, there's
some place there and they're suing the show. I think I read because the place
did not want to be featured. And I guess I don't know what it was. The show either featured them
or featured the location or whatever. And I think it's hilarious. I think it's hilarious when
these locations are like, no, we don't want the like, we don't want to be like,
sullied by this reality show coming in. I'm like, if you've been to the Hamptons,
there are such awful people that go to all these places.
You know, like the people on Summer House are better
than probably about 50% of the people
who go to these bars, et cetera.
So like just slow your role,
place that's suing Summer House.
Slow your role.
Hey guys, stay with my summer house. Okay.
Yeah. So this is when Lindsay has met a pillow player,
which we didn't get to see because, you know, the people in the
halfton set. So Lindsay's like, I don't know what home layers like me.
And I'm like, oh, because they're good with stands.
They like to ride horses. Yeah. It's like, please don't going
with this. It's starting to sound offensive to yourself.
Yeah.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, why are you like, why are you doing this yourself, Lindsay?
You're setting yourself up.
Oh, I think.
Because you know, yeah, no.
So Lindsay's like, um, I don't make out such with Markov Halla.
And I mean, it's like, I have a girl coming.
And the twins like, good, she can clean.
I have a girl coming. And the twins like, good, she can clean.
Yeah.
Oh, she's like, it's clearly none of them will do it.
Yeah, maybe she can find the smell.
So I like that the next day, they announced that they're going to have just like a chill
party, you know, just a few of us playing beer pong in the backyard.
And then Lauren's like, yeah, I invited the RGP and polo team
It's like whoa
That doesn't sound so chill and also I love that Carl has to like get explicit permission from everyone
Lauren just invites an entire team of polo players and then Carl kind of stumbles to the girls in his like little tight pants that he wears every day
I mean Jesus Christ you'll want to foster the fuster. Come on already, every day.
And he's like, so, though, like, I just wanted to tell you,
because we're like,
proper heads up and like, yeah,
like wanted you to have dropped heads.
Yeah, just proper heads up.
I just want like, oh, this, can I call the gents
to go to please all the gents?
Yeah, thanks.
Peniseless gents, let's gather around,
because I just wanted to tell you like there's a girl and
You know proper notice. I don't know if I should be doing this on a group text or
And Stephen's just looking around like
I
So I might I might ask you to put her weight on me. Uh, not sure yet
But I just want to make sure it's all good and respectful with
all my fellow gents, because I love my mom.
My party right now is my M-O-M, but also getting to do B-O-N-E-L-I-N-D-S-A-Y number two.
So I don't want Watermoans to be thrown at me this time because it's a new leaf, and
I want to be transparent like a condom, which I'm not going to be. Yeah. I don't want you to get it twisted like a T. So you're under their gents. So they're like yeah fine
that looks that's fine and they're kind of awkward about it and he leaves and they all start cracking
up and Janiel's like oh my god this big man tip does ain't here in tight pants and I was like yeah
you think it's hilarious because you weren't at dinner, okay? You're gonna dinner when they were making it sound like it's the end of the world.
It is really fun to watch them make Carl squirm. I have to say it's even though like it's bullshit that Carl has to jump through all these
huge issues and invite some friends over, it's worth it to see him be like, ah, so
Can I face on my mo m right now? Is that cool to everyone or no car?
Old car now's not the time to tell you about my mom's hair because it's pretty so
They're having a party and this is my fabric because so many people are coming that are just hilarious
And I hope they become regular like gaba
Me
I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not These two glad we spent some camera time on these two So then a lot of girls start arriving and I just started writing El Carl because it's Lindsey Carl
And she comes and she's like
And then everybody's looking at her like um and then y'all gets visibly uncomfortable now that was probably editing
She was probably like the smell still here, you know, but that was on her face and Carl's like oh
Lindsay's super fun super positive and then he goes hey, Lindsay you have something on your face and Carl's like oh Lindsay's super fun super positive and
then he goes hey Lindsay you have something on your nose and she goes
oh my god yes yes I'm off for this Lindsay oh god yeah there was she was like
super positive she was kissing everyone in the cheek when she first met
them she's like hi I'm super Lindsay I can fix that smell for you guys. If you want, you guys are having a party.
Served straight. Do you have a smell? The boy happens to party. I can fix it for you though. I'm Lindsay.
I like when he told her you look like that girl from Papa. She's like,
olive oil. That's where my parents called me. That's like that. So sad.
A lot to unpack there. A lot. Like, kind of a strange compliment to give someone like, hey, you look like that cartoonishly flat-chested lady from the 40s
named after her named after her
condiments, I guess. I like pop by the sale of man.
He was a good gent.
Ada Spinach, you know.
Who's good to his mom?
You like that?
You do so long.
I'm just like pop by.
You know, I would have been, I think I would have been
Jens and Brutus, to be honest.
I think he was misunderstood.
And I would have given one by a hamburger today.
Brutus.
Oh, Brutus, Brutus.
So.
I think that would be pop by me.
When he said that, of course, I just immediately started singing.
I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you.
Or did I love you? I don't know. I saw that, I saw that when I was a little very, very little
and I got scared by that. Whatever creature was with the tentacles. Yes, that's that fucking squid thing.
And you know that the pop Ii set is now a landmark.
It's like it a they Robert Almond built the pop-i set on Malta and
The movie left and they left the set up and now it's like a tourist attraction in Malta
And I think it's they've turned it into like a shopping destination of some sort
Anyway, it's just even's like I'm gonna go to Travis party and Montauk. I'm just waiting for him to text me
I'm hoping he sends me an emoji that's like hey, and then I'll be like
Hey, and then he might send like
Guy holding his hand out like well, and I'll do like dancer
But then I'll be like
I'm gonna send him an egg and then he's gonna send me a plant.
It's gonna be an eggplant.
It's gonna be the sexiest text message ever.
I might send that swirl, which I just learned
just supposed to be a hurricane.
So Gonzalo arrives at the rest of the Polo players.
Yeah.
He, I don't get the Gonzalo's one that Lauren has selected
from the night before.
I didn't really see his appeal.
There was also like a really, really hot guy in a blue shirt.
And I was like, why is anyone,
why isn't anyone going for him a little later on?
Danielle winds up pairing up with the hot guy.
So I was very proud of her,
even though he was kind of douchey.
Yeah, he turns out to be a total deasty.
But Lindsay's like, in the haptons, if you're not a polo player you in the
primes I think for the hampton's you might as well go for like a stockbroker
yeah aim higher executive aim higher darling did he I don't know and the
twin is like well that that's all those hot okay he's not it's all I like but it
doesn't matter when you're lying down just like mom says
He sort of looks like a root of Vega, but it doesn't matter when you're lying down. That's what I'm saying
Okay, so then we cut to commercial and and he's like hey
We're talking about Stasi's tits and I was like ff
F. Jesus Christ. Did he really say something like that? Yes, he literally said that
He's like hey, it's what's what happens lies. We I'm not sure if you're
going to be able to
get a chance to see
you.
Jesus Christ.
Did he really say something
like that?
He literally said that.
He's like, hey,
what's what happens to us
we're talking about a
stasis tits.
Like, oh my God.
She got a breast
reduction has all these
photos, but still it's
like, no, it's just like
that's so Andy. Yeah. Hell episode. So, um, Lauren, let's see, Lauren meets the Bernad Lindsay. She's like, hi, hi, hi, whatever.
And then she's trying to make Neal and see if he'll
important.
He's like, hey, Lindsay, I need you to meet Suzy.
She's important.
I wrote that down to you.
I was like, who's Suzy?
She's not that important.
She's important, Suzy.
She used to run the food now.
We're gonna have Suzy Vogel send.
Yeah.
Suzy Vogel sends there. She's like, I'm not understanding this. I'm sorry.
Feels uncomfortable.
What do you need from you, Carl? I need Carl. I need I need to understand your brand here a little bit more. Okay.
Otherwise, great job.
Richel.
It's twisted like.
Yeah, I'm not getting too. I'm getting twisted to you.
And then Bob Bob Bob. Bob Tushman shows up. Hey Carl, you know, I love you so much. We're huge fans, but it's just not tracking.
Sorry, Jens.
Unfortunately, the audience can't taste your wonderful spirituality. So you're out. I'm so sorry. Good luck to you. Bye.
I'm so sorry. Good luck to you. Bye.
So Gonzalo, there's another guy. Oh,
Lindsey is now meeting Marcos. The Mark, I'm not meeting Marcos.
Marcos, yeah, Marco or Marcos.
So he comes over and she's like, oh my God, single Lindsey,
positive, bunty and all along.
And then he's like, hello, and he tries to shake her hands,
like, get out of here. Some are loving, never hurt. Now, line, I was like, hello, and he tries to sick her hands like, got out of here.
Summer loving never hurt now.
I was like, yes, it did.
It hurt the girl from Greece.
OK.
And she couldn't find love until she ended up in leather pants
and a push up bra.
So I know that the ending of that movie was so great for anybody.
OK, Lindsay?
Exactly.
Also, we should mention there was a shot of Carl with Carl Lindsay
in his room.
And he goes, let me see your face. Let me Carl with Carl Lindsay in his room and he goes,
let me see your face.
Let me see your face.
And he goes and pricks.
Let me see your face.
Put your weight on me.
With your face.
Put your face weight on me.
Yeah.
Just here.
Oh, god, I left my mom a face sign.
Sorry, my number one priority is an MOM.
Him and mom, can you put it on mute for a second?
I just want to look at Lindsay's face. Hey, MOM, can you put it on mute for a second? I just wanna look at it in this space.
Hey, let me see that face.
I think Kyle, Kyle is the outside,
getting wasted on a gigantic Rose bottle.
And he's talking to the,
he's talking to all the polo players.
And Amanda's just doing her like,
I'm a million Kyle.
Like look, and he's like,
30?
If Cookie had an accent,
Cookie would be laying pipe all throughout the town. I should say you're embarrassing me.
Hi, all you're embarrassing. I'm like listen Amanda
This is not new behavior and you're also on a reality TV show so
You know and which are you talking?
It's also checking for a gigantic rosé bottle. Is it the laying pipe like?
What are you mad at? Let's just pick one thing and stick with that. I'll tell you what I'm mad at.
Every time I see what those giant rosé bottles, I think of reporter Christina Gibson reporting live.
And I'm like, why is she not on this season? Why is she not on this season? Why? Right? Oh,
this is really the scene. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but it was better last season when we had both wins
there every single time and reporter Christina Gibson getting into fights with Lindsay and and gospel all around the house
That was the shit. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna say it
Well this fight
This fighting with Amanda and Kyle is starting to make me fucking crazy. I can't take anymore
It's a whole episode and it's the dumbestrative ever and it just keeps going on and on and
She's like, and she's wasted to now. Yeah, she's even more hilarious and he's like babe. I'm completely coherent and she's like
Kyle if you're completely coherent say these words after me. Yes, Amanda. You can move in with me
I'm not gonna say that. See you're not coherent these words after me. Yes, Amanda, you can move in with me.
I'm not going to say that. See your knock a hear in.
Yeah, it's because you have your shoes on.
I'm going to do love.
So later it is continued.
Like, why are you so mean?
Oh, Kyle goes, why are you so mean?
Yeah, standing there, whining.
And I was like, you don't talk to somebody when they put silver eye makeup over their eye boogers. You know when people do that,
there's like starting to put like shiny makeup
right where the eye booger comes out.
What is that?
What did that start and why?
Maybe it's to like sort of like create like a luge.
The eye booger just slides out.
I'm blaming Bella Heddead,
who I think is the fault
for every terrible fashion thing happening right now.
Damn you, Bella. I can't believe you'd go after the other one. Why would you go after the other one? Who I think is why not every terrible fashion thing happening right now damn you Bella
I can't believe you'd go after the other one. Why would you go after the other one isn't life hard enough?
I'm sorry Gigi
Much better meant to Gigi. I don't even know who Bella is
so meanwhile Danielle is
Comforting Steven because he's upstairs. He's been on his judgment balcony
I don't want to come out of the party because I'm running for Travis.
And he has like Stephen has texted Travis. He's called Travis and Travis is being elusive.
Now I wasn't totally paying attention to the plans of the Travis plans.
I knew there was some sort of bonfire. I don't know if it was an evening bonfire or an afternoon.
I guess it wouldn't be an afternoon bonfire, would it?
So either way, he doesn't hear back from Travis
until like nine and Travis is like,
I just got back, what are you up to?
And, or like, you should come through.
But Steven is like upset because Travis is
clearly playing games, like not texting back
and Travis had wanted Steven to be there.
He would have been like more responsive, you know?
So I get it, I've been there. I've been in that situation many, many times. And so Daniel's like
sad. Yeah. So meanwhile downstairs, Kaul and Amanda still going at it. It's like Kyle,
after all the conversations that we've had to keep it together and he's like, you're not,
she's, she's tells him she's like, Kyle, you're no fun.
You know fun when you, he goes, you know fun Amanda
and she's like, well, you think it's fun for me
to have to like take care of you when you're passed out.
He's like, what?
That's like the most fun thing in the world.
Taking care of me when I'm passed out, you're welcome.
So you blame me, you're smelling your drink
and you caninked that.
Uh, and she got this ridiculous argument about spilled water.
Yeah.
I mean, he's like, um, she goes, you want me to break up with your wife
because you don't know how that bottled all over you're not to Kyle.
And he's like, that's your case.
That's your case.
The other night.
She's like, hey, and Lindsay comes in.
She goes, um, guys, and she goes, Lindsay, please. And she's like, don and Lindsay comes in, she goes, guys, and she goes, Lindsay plays.
And she goes, like, don't even try it, Lindsay.
And she's like, I'm not.
And Calla goes to me and he goes,
if you say another word, I actually don't want to see you
the entire night.
Lindsay, stay out of it.
And then he tells Amanda, this is the worst fight ever.
Okay?
Oh, you knocked over the water.
This is the dumbest, officially, the dumb worst fight ever. Okay. Oh, you knocked over the water. This is the dumbest officially the dumbest fight
You think you're gonna marry me and he goes no, I don't think I'm gonna marry you
And then I'll just notice his shirt says lifry or die
He's literally wearing a shirt that says lifry or die. Come on
Which to be fair that is the new Hampshire license plate
slow again, which is where he's from.
It's also something it's also like the life of the
man who wants to hear it's like, how many signs do you need?
How many license plates does he have to summon for
already get the point?
She's like, Jim S. Sylvians, like, OK, OK, go back.
It's different country.
So don't mess with Texas, Amanda.
Keystone state, am I right?
So Lauren.
So yeah, so now the first Lindsay's Polo player has to leave
because I guess he has a match or something better to do with his life.
Because it's Lindsay, everybody leaves.
I haven't noticed every episode
Lindsay is about to cut the guy
runs like hell.
Yeah, he's like, I kind of got
sick of her doing this weird
scales of justicing with her
hands.
Which hand left. All right.
Left. All right.
I'll see.
Scalce of the season.
See justice is horny.
It's like, no, it's not.
It's blind. Oh my god.
I want to be blind date.
So Lauren still stuck with
Gonzalo. She's like, your brother, Kess Lanzier, you're gonna kiss god. I want to blind date So Lauren still stuck with Gonzalo she's like your brother kiss lunsy are gonna kiss me you know kiss me Gonzalo
Hey, Gonzalo, where's Gonzalo? Gonzalo? Yeah, no one wants to kiss a guy more when he then when he has
Snow White lips to come how's it?
Were you just making out with Brittany's mother? Well, why are your lips white weird? Oh?
So so Lauren and Gonzalo start to make out and he's like
her team telling me just like comes out like that pop-eye monster with the tentacles
Oh
Gonzalez. Yeah, she's like looking his looking his face. So then the twin comes to Steven's room and
check oh my god I made that with a white one. Well, before, before, before that though,
we go up to Carl and Carl's like putting up,
he's like, oh, but first, a belt, Jens.
And even, even nice Lindsay is like,
Carl, aren't your pants tight enough?
I mean, I know I'm just an olive oil here to your Popeye,
but I can see not only your dick outline,
I can see your pub outline.
I'm sorry, J Sorry Jen side in my belt
I've been wearing these so many dates. I can't take them off. So good luck with that. Um, yeah, that's my mom but she thinks
Thanks mom
There he's mom and then downstairs Kyle goes up to Carl comes downstairs and Kyle's like dude
Do you do you apparently I'm so drunk that I'm
incoherent like well yeah you said it incoherent so it's like come on bro come on
gentlist talk if you unravel we all unravel and Kyle's like okay but could you
just tell her I didn't do anything and he's like whoa that's all you that's all you
bro champ hey bro you got any spinach You know I'm saying I'll put on my own
So then the twin comes in and she's like oh my god. Are you okay? Are you okay? Oh my god?
You're crying you're gonna make me cry. I'm gonna shut. I don't want to talk to you
I'm not going to travel to the party. That's it
Show me see man show me the phone right now is like no I'm not gonna show you anything right now
Talk to me
Somebody like god damn Texas she sees it she goes but come on Steve any texted you back Steven he worked you back
And he's like hours later
I don't know he has very high expectations of men.
I'm like, I mean, I said you back at all.
That's a meeting.
I mean, you say I have to like put a secret, find your eye friends thing in their phone,
so I know what the hell they are.
Yeah.
So I can just happen to show up at the bar and be like, remember when you're supposed to call me?
I knew you just forgot.
Yeah, it's a gray area.
I actually don't know what Steven should have done because on the one hand Lauren is right
She's like, uh Steven he invited you so you just go and that's it and then he's like, but he didn't like respond back to me
And I'm like I get that too like if this guy really wants you to good wanted him to go
He should have responded, but I would actually side with Lauren
Which is to say let's not let's how about we just take it on face value he invited you
which is to say, let's not, let's have out. We just take it on face value.
He invited you.
Let's not play the games.
If he does feel a certain sort of way,
we get there and he's gonna act whole act weird
and then we'll leave.
Yeah, if he fucked with us,
well, being can have dinner with Ashley
and talk about blood jobs.
So yeah, it's like,
you know what it is?
It's like, calm on his blood.
If he is playing games with Stephen,
then be like, fuck out.
You invite me. I'm gonna come because who cares, right? It's hard to say. And if he's is playing games with Stephen then be like fuck out you and by me I'm gonna come because who cares right?
It's hard to say if he's not playing games then it's great then it worked out just right
It's hard to say because he's probably trying to play it cool like he doesn't want to look desperate like you coming
You coming you coming you coming you coming you coming you coming worse?
I know it's worse. That's the worst part about dating but either way
Lauren has the perfect remedy for for Stephen. She was Danielle. Hey Danielle. Let's get a twist it for Steven. Let's get a twist it for Steven.
I heard that. I'm kind of cup ready.
Twisted is the new BBC.
Oh, don't kick BBC out of this house. Quite yet. There's still three more weeks of summer, sir. That's true. So now
Amanda's crying. She's like, Kyle, please, I'm trying to help you. How much guac do I have to make
for you to see these things, Kyle? Can we just get married so I can start bringing pre-package
all of a sudden? And he's like, I wanted to have fun. Okay? You've prevented all my fun. You are not fun.
This is not fun.
Summer should be fun.
Amanda, not fun.
She's like, I am fun, Kyle.
Look.
Kyle.
I'm taking off my shoes in the bed.
Fade to black.
And that brings us to the end of the summer house. End of summer house.
Well, that was a good devil. Love you. God, he's. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. We will see the Detroit
show goers and Detroit this Saturday. And the rest of you, maybe you're listening to this
a long time after and you're like, damn, I missed that live show. No, you did not go and watch what crap is calm. We're onto or all year.
We're going to many places after Detroit. We're going to see Irvine. We're going to see
DC. We're going to see some other. Chicago. We got Chicago. We got we got Phoenix. We have
San Francisco. We have Kansas City. We have St. Louis. I mean, there's Philadelphia, Atlanta, West Palm Beach dog, West Palm Beach.
I mean, where's our Florida people?
We're going to West Palm Beach in August.
Hello, that's gonna be like, that is going to be the yacht of watch your crappens.
So yeah, go to watchcraftens.com, get those tickets because every show has been awesome.
Just look online.
So what people are saying about it, it will have a good time.
All right, everybody, we sure love you.
We will talk to you next time.
Bye.
Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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