Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: Can't Have Your Carl and Eat It Too

Episode Date: February 2, 2018

Carl made out with Lauren and then Danielle blew up their spot and then Carl started flirting with Courtney and Lauren was all that's not cool so she threw cake in Carl's face and was like THERE, Carl. Come listen to our similarly insightful recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBLOGcom and the Banta Blender podcast and joining me this lovely Thursday is Do you want an only man who will always enjoy a glass of frosay? It's Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Prick's Bachelor podcast What's up? Hello! How are you? I'm good, you little maniac.

How are you doing? I'm good too. You're a maniac. You're a big ol' maniac. My little anime-nique. You know what people are gonna be maniacs because tomorrow all our tickets are going on sale for all our summer shows, which is appropriate because today we're talking about summer house. So, today, but before we get into summer house, we've got to talk our summer shows, which is appropriate because today we're talking about summer house. So today, but before we get into summer house, we got to talk about summer shows.

Philadelphia, Atlanta, West Palm Beach, St. Louis, Kansas City, Phoenix, San Francisco, going on sale tomorrow, February 2nd. I think the first batch starts to go on sale around noon Eastern, which is 9 a.m. Pacific. So go to watchcrapers.com to get your tickets to live shows, huh? Huh? What a year. We're having so much fun so far. Never been out of the house this much,

and I'm loving it. I know, it's fun. We're traveling so much together, Ronnie. We're really getting to know each other. We're like a real couple now. Yeah, we're almost like a forever couple, like Lindsay and Afra, you know? We are a forever couple bitch, and don't you ever forget it. We're married, whether couple now. Yeah, we're almost like a forever couple, like Lindsey and Afra, you know? We are a forever couple bitch and don't you ever forget it.

We're married whether you like it or not. I don't care if these fucking house hores go off. My friend, too, to call some househores. Sorry, that's how you're not me. But if these househores all get canceled, I'm going to recap shit in the food courts with you for the rest of my life. You're not, oh, you're never leaving me. So you're never leaving me, sir.

Okay, you're my work husband. I'm not leaving me, Abra. So this week on Summer House, I have to address some things. Someone tweeted us and said, Ronnie, please get your season one, Lindsay back. What was it? I don't even remember it. I actually remember it. No, I actually remember it because it was like,

Abra, it was talking, it was, because Lindsay would talk like that. Yeah, the press fans, yeah. I because Lindsay would talk. Like, the other questions. Yeah, I know. But the thing is though, Lindsay is back this season and she's trying to be like, I'm fun Lindsay. And so as, as like a result of trying to prove to us that she's fun, she's like, starting to talk a little bit

more like this, but she's still like, ah, you know, so it's tricky, it's hard because I'm I'm I remember that voice But all I'm hearing is a raw a raw a raw well between then and now between that last season and Now a lot of bachelor's shows have happened Yeah, and I have to say girls on TV There really is something about girls in a certain age range on TV who talk like that And there's like one voice. I feel like once you're older and you're on a housewife show, you get more of a normal voice because you know, it's shaded by how many cigarettes you smoke, or you know, how

many people you have screamed at over your decades on the earth. But you know, younger girls, it's harder because they all kind of sound like this to me sometimes on TV It's like I'm vulnerable and let's be honest. It's not like there's a lot of distinctive, you know Quality is about made the women on this show, you know, so they're yeah kind of all the sound the same They all kind of look the same. They all kind of act the same. So you know, you can't forgive us I can't you can't hold it against us that we we just make everyone talk like that. I specify You can't hold it against us that we just make everyone talk like that specifically But we'll try our best. Yeah, I'll go back maybe this week I'll go back and do some research and by that I mean listen to five minutes of previous audio before I want to come

myself because I cannot listen to previous audio Okay, all right. Well this Season two episode two opens up with Lindsay She's actually like running on the street and she's like Basically the show opens in New York City Which always cracked me up because whenever somehow it goes to New York City They always were like look at these young professionals working working working doing business and it's like Lindsay jogging me like oh phone call hello phone call

Can I call you back because I'm not in front of my desk emails phone call business? Yes, look there's a 30 a 30 year old guy on a skateboard. Be Zee Peezy in New York City. Cut to the girl from Hoboken drinking juice. Oh my God. You guys are really, really crazy, crazy business. Amida's folding the couch, help the couch blankets and pillows from whatever couch.

In his sign felt apartment. You know what he had, lives in like the sign felt apartment. It's like the same decor. I just figured he was couch surfing. He might be doing that too because you know, he's just like chill. He's just like very chill. Coachella, you know, in spirit of Coachella, he like lives off of Craig's list. Like, can I couch surf, dude? See, by the way, notice I started to give him Lindsey voice. See, they're all I can't help it. I can't help it. I'm not very distinctive yet either, you know.

I think if they remade Slynefeld right now in 2018, it probably would be someone hot like that, who's playing Kramer. Like, hey, Derry, please leave him on your couch again tonight. This is really boring, I expected more because Coachella. You know what, Jerry? This is the exact opposite of Coachella. Okay, Jerry, and he just leaves. He just comes in every single week and shades Joey.

And everyone's like, Kramer! Whoa, this is not chill, okay. I'm going back to the main tent, aka my apartment. I just love these stop on the girl from Hoboken drinking juice. That cracks me up. And also something she did the first week

that I think she's gonna continue for the whole season. Be boring. I'm a Puerto Rican girl from Hoboken, so I don't get this. Yeah, I love when they just repeat their stupid jokes over and over because she doesn't like five times in this episode. She's really bad at reading her jokes in the interviews. You know, she's like, you know, she was acting weird to me and I look at her like, bitch, please. It's like, good one day. We would never say that in Hoboken, so I just need some time. She was acting weird to me and I look at her like bitch, please We would never say that in Hoboken so I just need some time because it's like crazy Hoboken part of recon Hoboken Being raised in a Puerto Rican household I can tell when someone's upset

My best friend is a Puerto Rican from the Bronx and I know when someone's upset too. My ass hit. Okay. Being a Puerto Rican that was raising the Bronx, I know when I'm thirsty. That's some drinking juice right now at the top of the show. It's so crazy because in Hoboken as a Puerto Rican, we eat our vegetables. Wacky! Wacky Puerto Rican from all bulkhead.

I take the path train, that's just who I had. So after Lindsay's like, I got an email. Amanda goes and visits Kyle at his apartment, where they are ceremonially putting a little fly by seven photo of Amanda and Kyle on the wall because now that they that now that he is has been dating her for like a year, she's finally making it up onto the wall. Yeah, she's like, I want to be above your dad's because that's when you tear off the most.

It's like, okay, babe. I'm not sure if I can make that, but you know, we'll see, babe. I do believe that Kyle has a real job because he's the only person with the full back keyboard You know the one with the numbers on the end. Yeah, he had like a standing standing workspace area, you know Yeah, I mean a full-number keyboard that takes up a lot of desk space desk space and you only have that if you need it So congrats on the real job cow. Yeah, because like everyone else We're supposed to believe they have real jobs. It's like here goes Carl on a unicycle, being like, yes, meaning at three, I'm like, you're not going

to a meeting. You're on a unicycle. And you're still telling people, yeah, dental dental, dental startup dental dental. The other day, oh, go ahead. No, no, I was going to, I was just going to say that the other day I typed in Carl Summerhouse for Google because I wanted to get his last name. I think it was made, he might be nominated for a crappy. And so I was, I went to get his last name and Google, the search results, like the suggestions were Carl Summerhouse. And then the very next

one was Carl Summerhouse house, yellow cheese. I know. And it's so mean. And we called it out all the time. So now I have to find out, you know, other things to call out because he got his teeth bleached. Yeah. But have you noticed that his teeth, his teeth go yellow again instantly? I don't even know if he got them bleached. I think he got that like, white out stuff for your tea. He made trust it does like five times in this episode I'm like wait a minute. He may just be like some weird toothy Pinocchio where every time he lies his teeth turn yellow it's like some tartar truth serum Tartar truth serum

Tartar Truth Zero. Yeah. It's Tee-Tee-Tee-Go-Yellow when he lies. He's like selling it. Start up. Dental Start up. So Amanda is like, um, so Kyle, um, my roommate and her brother are like, do you want, do you want to move in with us? Because my lease is up and I was like, I don't know, because maybe there's a bigger conversation

to be had and Kyle's like I don't know because maybe there's a bigger conversation to be had and cause like about what? Um, um, like when he goes he goes. Um, now it's moving in something you've been thinking about and like not talking about she goes, yes, scaredy cat, of course it is. Let me something other six months before I texted you and told you I'd like to. He's like, uh, she's like, um, she's like, listen, uh, I've never been a proponent of saying, hey, let's live together, but I'm not ruling it out. I'm like, ringing endorsements, ringing endorsements.

I mean, I love he says things like there are things that you vote on. Like, I've never been a big proponent of, hey, let's move in together. Or like, I've never been a big proponent of, you know, like, let's get water taxes down. Or, you're running for mayor? Why are you talking like that? You're just like, can I move in Kyle? And he's like, uh, well, we want to pass that bill through the committee first and make sure let's just, let's, let's dog year that Kyle.

What do you call it when you just keep talking the whole time so filibuster? Yeah, she's like stop filibus drink Kyle okay He's like I'm alone around the weekdays, okay during the weekdays. I want to work alone Then like have a lone time alone be lonely alone. She's like So Oh Kyle so Kyle's anniversary is once he marries Amanda. He's gonna mark anniversaries by being like This is how many years that I haven't been single. Yeah, you know, like he's gonna mark it in a different way Because he's so proud of himself every time he's like look at us killing the couple games still together Yeah, I kiss you last night killing the game And you know that like every anniversary you is just gonna be like a pastel shorts.

This year you get a yellow pastel short. But don't worry, you don't have to wear underwear with them. Just like Kyle. Kyle a bird dog. Kyle. The bird dog. Someone was saying bird dog, I guess. I don't know.

So then we got to Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, and Danielle, AKA boring, boring girl from Hoboken, having lunch somewhere in the city. And he's like, she's like, So this is crazy, it's like Hoboken. Like, as a Puerto Rican girl from Hoboken, I know that when you're hungry, you go to a restaurant.

Oh, you're doing it. Yeah. So they order food. And then Carl proceeds to eat food and talk the rest of the scene. His mouth is open. It's just like falling out. I thought he was going to choke at some point. I'm watching lettuce and fries, circling around and they're in the dryer. I'm like close to mouth. Does that thing with his tongue where it's like kind of pressed down at the bottom of his mouth and see you know that like food is pressed down there between his teeth and then you see him like move it between the bottom of his mouth to the

like the size of his I just can't with Carl with Carl okay and if anybody disagrees with me and thinks I'm being too harsh he's wearing a flip Okay, his collar's flipped that. I didn't even notice that. So I was so focused on him being like, we're double the summer. Yeah, gross. Yeah, gross, gross. So then we, we intercut with, we see Lauren Workis, who is wearing her patented, I don't even know what, what it's called, it's like that,

that strapless shirt that she wears with a big ruffle that hangs down. Like she loves a giant flap, you know. She has a bathing suit. This is a real girl with a real girlfriend of Stassi's because they're like, oh my god, pirate college. I'm a pirate pilot. I like that.

I like fabric that folds over myself. You got it. That's like a lot of folds. She's like shaking that. It's like an ankloss and not a shady. It's a shady place. Totally. Yeah, like a car.

Car. They're in the handcrawls and they're shady. That's a shady play. Totally. Yeah, like Carl. Carl. For those of you who are new to our recaps, even though Ashley has not been on the season yet, we know that Ashley has ever present with Lauren, so we'd like to play both roles, even if she's not there. Ashley is staying on this show as far as we're concerned. Yes. So Lauren goes and meets up with Lindsay

and talking with, so they're like chatting they're like chatting about how's the weekend? There we go. It's fun. Yeah, like I mean, it was uncomfortable to call right? It's really uncomfortable. I was like I really like a meat. I'm not a trechum, but I really like him He's really cool. I like me a lot. He's cool I don't know if I'm a trechum because he's sort of like a car about with like gray hair But like not as talkative and not as tall and like not as kissable, but like I'm like a trechum But not like that. You know, are you a trechum? and not as kissable, but I'm like a tried to do them. But not like that.

Are you a tried to do them? But she's like, he also said, I'm not that, he also said something, and I'm not that girl, but he said no hooking up at the house. And I'm like, am I that girl? I don't want to hook up at the house, but I kind of do, because he's like kind of hot in my that girl. Are you that girl? Who's that girl?

Who's the meat? I like me. I don't know what girls said. Like, what girls did, like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him?

Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him?

Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? Why do I have to talk to him? is like, um, it's been hard not talking to Araw, but you know, I'm working, I'm working through it. Like, it's, it's just weird. Like, we haven't talked to Araw, you know. It's like weird. It's like, you have this teammate, like, ever was my teammate. And so it's like,

we were on a time. But now I'm like, like, like, that's sport. And I'm like, how do I play it with my teammate? It's a mystery. I mean, it's a mystery. And like, we're gonna, we're gonna, like, be with him very soon. Fuck, what are you even talking about? I got an email earlier today and was like really exciting, but I was like jogging, so I had to call later. I'm like, what a day. So then we go back to Carl and Danielle and they're talking about Lauren and,

and like, I think she asked how pride was. And Carl's still chomping away at his turkey burger or whatever And he's like oh yeah, Lord are we we made out product yeah Like we've got some kind of Tung Tung Tung Tung Tung Tung and she's like dude you made out I know what that means. I'm not stupid stupid I'm a Puerto Rican from Hobo and I know what making out means dude you give her way too much personality I have to say so Lauren so meanwhile we see back at the other at the other chatter situation Lauren's like oh Lindsay like there's nothing with Carl like

absolutely nothing like I just don't even want to be with him. Like I've never kissed him over Pride weekend. Never, ever, ever, you know. Yeah. Poor Steven. Because at least she does it after Steven leaves. Because it's like, well, because when Carl's telling the story,

he's like, the Pride bread is so amazing. And like after the parade, we grab some drinks. And like, you know, Steven went to cry alone and masturbate by himself. And then, you know, we bid out, because everyone was making up, you know, it was price we had anal. It and masturbate by himself. And then, you know, we bid out because everyone was making out. And you know, it's price. We had anal.

It's like, oh, god. And I put his teeth are yellow again. What is he eating? Is salad wiping off the paint? Like what is happening? He's lying. He's lying. He's lying.

Except he was sort of telling the truth, actually. So now that we've established that there's a, he said, she said, situation, the whole gang starts to head out to Hamptons. And in one car is a meat and Kyle and Carl and Amanda. And Kyle's like, oh dude, you were like really partying last weekend. You know, we're either redefined coming in hot, coming in hot. Now it's going to be coming in Carl and it meets like, that was the goal of many people at Pride Fest. I was like, ooh, it meets.

Yeah, that's saucy, but also you couch serve. So let's not act like you don't get get her filled up So speaking of Stephen's Falling carrying boxes. LOL So he's like troubles here troubles here lock the doors. I love how like into it, but also like totally grossed out. He is by everything. Yeah, he's like there to spectate, but he hates that he actually has to participate.

And you got the perfect room with that little balcony where he can just look over and give like disapproving looks as everybody does everything. Yeah, he's like repunzel, but like he has a perfectly fine way to get out of his tower. And he's like, I don't want to do it. Yes. He's like I got a haircut because I have stairs for my towers. So I don't know what that Rapunzel bitch's problem was she could just take the stairs out of her tower. Yeah, it's like Rapunzel, Rapunzel, wrong. So you know by the way I've never understood Rapunzel because the guy

climbs up Rapunzel's hair. How does he get him down? First of all, that's total abuse. It's like a relationship starting where a guy is pulling your hair. Rapunzel, come on. Like, at what point, do you see the moment he throws her over his shoulder, how do they get down from there? They'll just fall out of the tower.

But she can tell me what. Oh, but didn't she bring him up? I don't they'll just fall out of the tower. But she can tell me what. Oh, but didn't she bring him up? I don't think they went out and saw the world. I think he was like he had to stay there and then climb back down. Oh, really? I did not know that.

I thought that he climbed up and saved her and like helped her escape. But if that's not the case, that makes more sense. I can't get into Rapunzel. Like she needs to grow up here, seriously. She did grow up here. So if you're gonna date a prince, the guy better at least be able to figure out

where to buy a ladder. Yeah, you know what I mean? How about that, buy a ladder. But, she don't pull out her hair. She's spent a lot of years growing that hair, buy a ladder. Yes, buy a ladder. She can even use bison meat in that hair. Like, come on, that's what we're doing.

Buy some spikes. Now, she has to have split ends and long hair. I know, buy some spikes, come on. That's the way you're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back.

You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back.

You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You're back. You like halfway down her hair again. Yeah. So Steven is still feeling salty about Carl. They haven't talked all week and we see that they had like a big moment at Pride where

Steven's like, I just feel like this was a really big day for me and like, you just made it all about Carl. It's just like, where's Carl? Every day it was like, where's Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl?

Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl Yeah, and Carl's like I didn't mean to hurt you ever gents. I didn't mean it. I'm your biggest fan So Stephen was like if I had a nickel for every sorry. I got from Carl. I'd own a summer house Okay, I was like well, maybe that's a good that's a good rule to implement you start taking dickles from Carl every time He says sorry. Yeah, I think it's a good idea Yeah, it's how is that not caught on in this economy? The Carl economy.

So now they're planning out their afternoon plans. Amanda wants to go biking through her winery and a meat wants to hang back and box. And a meat's like, yeah, when I met Carl, I was at my Coachella House. And all my Coachella friends are super chill. So I actually assumed it would be the same at the summer house But it's the exact opposite. It's actually awful here. Why did I send them for the show get me out of here?

I'm working on boxing in case I have to knock people out like oh, you're so tough. I mean I think a meat colors his hair gray by the way I think that's just it does he because he looks like playing yeah He looks like look I'm playing an uncle in a community theater show Like I don't even know if that's die I think it's that like white stuff you actually brush into your hair. I'm not really buying a meat Maybe he just fell asleep on his coke stash Like I woke up so hyper

So Danielle by the way, maybe laugh is that Danielle shows up last and she just has like a million things and she's like, um, can anyone help me? Like just no one cares about her and Kyle still just worrying about boxes. Yeah So he's like, hey guys, you're supposed to up with me. Just told my girlfriend we can't hang during the week because I don't know that I'm ready for that Kyle so I'm ready for that, right? Kyle. So Angelo shows up who's the boxing trainer. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he didn't take off his shirt. So I was like, anti-rower. You know, this show, I don't really get turned on

watching this show. I don't know what it is. Even by Angelo, I thought Angelo was cute. He's like, muscle. Angelo looked big and like, roidi and, yeah, I don't know. I feel like at this age, I really like someone not fat, but not like that. Like I want some, at this point, like look,

I enjoy sex, but I also enjoy Mario and Domino. So be ready to sit down. I don't need someone worried about getting up and lifting things. Either way, Stephen was there watching this box, these boxing lessons with the meat and carl, and he was just in hell, because he's like, I don't wanna hang out with the basic bitches

at the winery, but I'm sitting here watching you stupid bros trying to bro out with this boxing instructor. My life is hell. Seriously, kill me now. Yeah, because you don't want to automatically beat Wendy the girls. So it's like I'll hang with the guys, but like who wants to do that? Yeah, it almost makes you miss a rock. Yeah, I did like when they switched to basketball. Is that later? Um, I don't remember when they switched to basketball. I'm putting getting ready a meat Carl basketball and then Carl's like whoopie-supie, bro Whatever and then Steven's like, um, like are you guys gonna go to the hoop?

Or can you not make a basket? I'm like, I'm loving balcony judges. Even It's just like judging everything for the balcony. It's hilarious. Yeah, I think we need to have more sportscasters that I like Steven. He couldn't even catch the ball. Like why are you being paid? Why are you being paid?

What sort of throw is that? Tom Brady. Like if you're gonna manage in cell, I mean, Jizz L, then you better throw that ball better and not hurt your hand so much, Tom Brady. Yeah, try sucking less at basketball. So Carl's like, come on, dude, you could like ring the bell for our first point and he goes, what are you only going to get one?

I love Steven. So then meanwhile over at the winery, they all go, you know, biking around, they taste why and they sort of settle in for, well actually, while they're chasing the wine, Danielle's like, huh, this isn't really my speed, like box wine, anyone, anyone, I'm like, don't do the Teddy Melon camp, I'm just rakely, I'm drinking box wine, the box wine joke is like very tired. And also, you are not, you know, like, waltzing around the Lward Valley of France, okay?

You're on a wineery in Long Island. Okay, this is not... This is not top of the... This is like, this is where like two buck chalk comes from. So don't act like you're above it, you know, or below it, or whatever. You can say probably still has that battery operated torch in a person that's ready to pull it out.

Okay, let's stop acting like we're at the Ritz. Yeah, okay, stop acting like, oh my God, this is too fancy for me, a simple girl from Puerto Rico. Like, no, relax. This is just like a shitty winery, okay, stop acting like oh my god. This is too fancy from me a simple girl from Puerto Rico. Like no relax This is just like a shitty winery, okay? I like that we keep cutting back and forth and now Stephen has come down from the balcony because he's like okay I'll make an effort to bro. So he goes He goes hey, what do you power? What do you powder pets doing? Like oh god, it's like soccer coach from Arkansas or Alabama or whatever.

And then everybody's fist bumping and he goes, that was a terrible fist bump. I'm just gonna pass judgment from this floating swan. So good. So over at the winery, Lauren's like, so guys, so it's picnic time. Let's sit down for picnic. Hey everyone, Carl was so inappropriate pride. He was like running around, took down for sure, and like walking around like walking around is like Carl like what's going on? Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl. Like it was so inappropriate. Stephen cried and blah blah and Danielle's like um

Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Lauren Speaking of pride I spoke to Carl and I need to confirm pride info with you. Check what's the worry. What Carl say? What did you speak? What did you say? What did you say? What did you say?

I need to see the phone. I need to see the phone. Was it like, what are you with? I was like, what's the next thing? I was like, what's the next thing? I was like, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing?

What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? I'm sorry about it right now. Karl, Karl, Karl. What did you say? Where were you? I don't care. Not for that care. Make out. Because how can you say anything else?

With the twin, you just have to say one word at a time. Make out? Oh my god. Oh my god. Who does them make out when they drink? What's a made out when I drink? It was a very blurred night. OK, I'm wake when I'm drunk.

And I'm like, you know, I'm weak. And he drinks me along. Karl, Karl, Karl. I'm going to make out right now. Anybody want to make out? What? It's crazy. I'm weak when I'm drunk and I like you know I'm weak and he drinks me long. Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. I'm gonna make out right now. Anybody wanna make out? What? It's crazy. I'm drunk. I wanna make out. Okay, that was the back of my hand. But, you know, still, like, is what it does.

It makes me horny. It makes me horny. It's like a bunch of horns. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like going to the orchestra and only having the brass section. It's like a horns, horns only. Nothing but a horns, 20. I'm Carl, Carl, Carl, 20.

Like my joke, Carl, Carl. So Danielle, do you think that she really was starting shit with the twin, or do you think she was just like, remember when we bonded over with an asshole, he was? I think she assumed more, I think she assumed that they were closer than they were. Like she thought like, oh my god, I heard you made it with Carl,

and I think Lauren was like, she's coming from me. But then Danielle, she's so bad with her jokes. This is Danielle's joke in me. But then Danielle, she's so bad with her jokes. This is this is Danielle's joke in the in the interview. She goes, the first step is admitting that you want to get over Carl till then load please take the wheel. Like great execution Danielle. Glad you're on the show. Lindsay goes, clearly she's embarrassed you embarrassed you embarrassed You know who always gets embarrassed a rat. I don't think about them. But sometimes I think about them. Oh my god Do you realize Lindsay Lauren? I'm Lindsay. You're Lauren

Wednesday Today is the day that ever it first tried down on yogurt. Oh my god Today is the day that Everett first tried down on yogurt. Oh my god. Yeah. So it's like sort of hard because we're sitting here at this winery and I'm like, it's so hot I want to have fruio and that makes me think of yogurt and I'm like, oh my god, Everett likes for yogurt and it's like, I can't say he ever tried it. So it's like a lot.

Everett, Everett, Everett. Everett, Everett. Everett, Everett. So Lauren goes sometimes just, sometimes just to make out is just fun. It's like just fun but she's doing that thing where she's pulling her own hair. Like, oh, she's gonna lose it. Because she grabs both sides of her hair and she just starts pat pulling it and like, oh no, she's gonna be balled by the end of the season poor girl.

Her giant ruffle is starting to rise up. It's just, she's gonna hide inside of her giant ruffle. She's like, excuse me one moment, I just need need to proceed into my ruffle and regather my thoughts She's like argon on a pirate ship like seriously leave me alone on my pirate ship. I'm on a pirate ship. So Lindsay's like, um, I see that you think she's coming for you But like what I see is that you didn't tell me and like we like totally like ironed our hair together So I'm curious as to why you didn't tell me. She's like, you know what?

I'm not gonna parade it in the hills, okay? Like, it was pride parade, but not for me, and I wasn't proud, okay? I'm not proud, I'm not proud, okay? I'm not proud. But Danielle, like, like, seriously, like, it was not from a place of being a friend. It was like a place of being across the picnic.

And it's like, maybe if I was sitting next to you, but I'm sitting across for you, so it's not a place from being a friend. That's not the friend place, okay? From places next to you, and I'm like, exactly, like, 45 degrees away from you. So it's not a place from being a friend. That's not the friend place. Okay, from places next to you, and I'm like, exactly like 45 degrees away from you. So it's like too much. Okay, it was just really aggressive. It's aggressive, Carl.

Carl, Carl. You know that girl's just like Carl. It's like when someone shows you who they are, and then you fuck them for a year. You know, so basically what I'm saying is I'm fucking that girl. Wait, what am I saying? What am I saying? I'm out of her. I'm out of her, but I'm like, I'm out of her.

Love is love. Love is love. I mean, my sister. So back at of here, but I love love. I'm like, I love love love. I mean my sister So back at the house Everyone comes back to the house and they were all going out to dinner but this point Lawrence in a mood so Lindsay and Lawrence even decide they're gonna stay in and order dinner and and

Lauren starts talking about the end of her relationship with Carl and she's like yeah Carl We were like dating and then all of a sudden he ghosted me and when she said that he ghosted her, they showed a picture of Lauren and Carl dressed as skeletons for Halloween and it's like it occurred to me that all this time that she's been saying, yeah, he ghosted me and made me realize he probably at the last second decided to go to Halloween as a ghost. She's like, yeah, we were supposed to be skeletons together and he was a ghost, he like ghosted me. He got my hand. He was just like, walk around a sheet. I, we were supposed to be skeletons together and he was a ghost. He like ghosted me. He got more candy than me.

Yeah, he was just like, well, I'm on a sheet. I'm like, I've got makeup on. It's like, it's like a lot. We're totally following the story, Ron. She's like mad about a Halloween party. He went back. I made all this effort and he wore a sheet. He wore a sheet.

I actually got him a skeleton costume. Skeleton, I got makeup for him. I was like, Dio still had mortgages and stuff. And he's like, I'm putting out a sheet. I'm like, that was my favorite sheet and like my sister gave me that and she intervened and put holes in it, like it's not cool, he goes to me.

Steve in and Steve more actually. And you know, guess what? Guess what, our names are Lauren and Ashley, it's not cool. Also we lift flour patterns, so. The sheet has a ruffle. Sorry, you were saying so that's Steve in. Because he's so depressed, he like needs something from Carl

that he's never gonna get. Just like everybody else in Carl's life, it's crazy. So he's like sad and he's going through, he's like, I'm gonna stay here and order food, which I mean, really does he ever say that? I just don't see Stephen, I'm like, I'm gonna order food. Like that's not how he gets it out, you know? But he does, so the girls stay with him,

and then we cut to Steven in the hot tub just turning around, taking selfies of himself. But you see, that's his happy place, that's what I've been. Food for thought, that's what I'm ordering. So, so meanwhile, at the, I don't even know why I wrote down half my notes, because it's at like dinner, the guys, the people who went out to dinner, they're at the restaurant and called like, okay, bros, even though two of you were dinner, they're at the restaurant and called like, okay, bros, even though two of you were in, okay, bros, fourth of July, top of

the dish from planning, do we have enough booze? And Amanda goes, well, I'm going to make guac for tomorrow. I'm like, that's not booze. I don't know why you wrote it. It's also way more expensive than booze. I actually wrote the same thing because I was thinking, why does a man have to pay for guac? Do you know how expensive that shit is? Avocados and the Hamptons are like $4.

Oh yeah, they really are. But I also feel like that's her catch all. That's like what, I feel like that's her excuse to get out of anything. Like, okay, you're gonna get this booze, you're gonna get this booze, like, no, I'm making Gwok. And it's like, you know that it's like, uh, so who's gonna drive home tomorrow?

Well, I'm making Gwok. But the Gwok person always wins because everybody knows guac is expensive and also guac no matter what part of your at everybody's like Oh my god, the guac is delicious. Who made it? Yeah, well because there's always someone who's always like I'm making guac So it's like hey potluck. So hey, I'm gonna bring a chicken a chicken dish I'm gonna bring this that I'm making guac, which is actually the easiest thing to make. You just like mash everything together, you know? But like the guac person is always like,

well I'm making guac and that's all I'm doing. Yeah, you're like, it's expensive, but it's still last minute, because I can't make it early, because it turns brown, you know? Yeah, so it's like, it's like lazy but effort. Oh, it's like you can never eat that. That's actually what it is. So, you totally got it. It's lazy, but it's Oh, it's like you can never eat that. That's actually what it is.

You totally got it. It's lazy but it's full of effort at the same time and you're like, oh, they just got out of something because they're doing guac. It's like, okay, time to clean the house before we leave. Sorry, I did guac. Yes, like no one's gonna eat it black the next day. It's just like they're gonna remember it

while they eat the other food shittily. And you get all the credit, cause yeah you said before it's like who made this guac? Is this from the store? No Amanda made it. Oh Amanda you're so good. Yeah and meanwhile Kyle's like I fucking built a teaky bar. Okay.

He's literally literally I literally built a teaky bar with instructions from crafty.com. I use my hand I put things up for five hours, and she makes squat, and she's getting all the credit. You have, he's like, I don't know if I'm ready for this. Hello, this is Countess New Endless Eps. I'm going to kill you all, but not before this ad. Would you believe it, girls? We have an ad. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ

or trending on Twitter or in court, I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. I also liked, by the way, that in the hot tub we see a shot of Stephen motorboding Lauren and then he goes hey that hurt Notes on this show are really insane. I don't even know where I am

Well, I want when I'm drunk I like the bone zone and Amanda's like well, maybe if you got less drunk you'd actually have a chance to bone the bone zone and Amanda's like well maybe if you got less drunk you'd actually have a chance to bone. Do you enjoy this car horn going off by the way? Can you hear it? I don't hear it. No. Wow that's impressive a motorcycle just drove by outside I made all the car horns go off stupid fucking motorcycle. Oh there I hear it now. Yeah sorry. Why did you point it out? Because people are hearing it and I want people to know that we are going through it. So we understand and you're going to hear it anyway. Sorry, we're like Carl. It's just so I am.

So Lauren's like, hey Steven, how was the boxing? And Steven goes, I mean, they weren't very good. I know, like, it ruined this day. He's like, they weren't really good. So how was the winery? And she's like, oh, Danielle, oh my god, you want to leave it. That's girl it to me. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't my proudest moment. There was like a drunker makeup between Carl and I and Carl and I went back to Carl's apartment. And so Carl and I were talking about Carl and like, when Carl and I got in the car was bad. And I was like,

Carl, we're gonna make out. He's like, Carl, sure, sure, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. Yeah. So at least one of you was supposed to follow Stephen home and make sure he was okay. And then take him out to get drunk or later and believe in himself again like hello Yeah, it's your first gay friend people Yeah, and meanwhile Carl is starting to get mad at Danielle for telling Lauren You know, he's like well you beg for that information and Then you I didn't realize you were about to go off and tell Lauren. I'm like you're on a reality TV show He's like What did you tell her?

Like things that we should be privy to. She's like, what is that? I'm from Hoboken. I don't know what that means. Are you talking about priv? I do need some makeup. Yeah. They fucked up my eyebrows, but I'll still use them.

We can get them for free, right? That's why I signed up for the show. I'm just a girl. So, um, so then the, yeah, everyone comes back. There could be some jello shots that are made. And, um, uh, basically Danielle leaves for the, she's like, look, I'm hilarious. Look at me. I'm a simple girl from Hoboke and I'm stressed. So I'm gonna go, go find a guy and I'm gonna go and have sex and I'll be back in the morning. It's like no one cares. Yeah, no one cares. I felt like the same Lauren Uber.

Like no one's no one's like, Hey, where did Danielle go? Where is Danielle hooking up? No, it's like, oh, yeah. The next day, who's someone's seasoned, they're like, do you want to help put this cheeky bar together? Horror. Okay. Well, no one cares.

That's the work. It doesn't work with Lauren either. Really? You don't make a guy jealous acting like a guy The guy acts like a guy because that's how guys act. It sort of worked last year when Lauren did it to Carl There there was a moment where you know car. Lauren and Carl were in some heavy Mental games last year, which is pretty great. Well, she did it this year. It didn't work again I guess you have to come up with a new trick every season. Yeah, like literally literally so it's the next morning July 4th and

Stephen Amanda and Lindsey go to the grocery store and Stephen is already mad. He's like let's stick to the list like do we want to get some cabbage? Let's stick to the list Beches and then lunty goes should we get some pineapple? Stick to the last bitches Betches and then lunty goes should we got some high novel Take the left So let me see I'm I have some I'm going to fast no, it's just nothing makes sense because they keep cutting back and forth And then they're growing to the store and I'm like why do I need three pages about watching people in a store? Yeah, but it was funny. Look, they're talking and then he's like, what number are we and she tells them,

he's like, they already called our number and we missed it. She's like, sorry, stick to the list. And Lindsay turns to Amanda. And she's like, I don't know if you know this, but July 4th is the day that Avra got back from Iraq. And Amanda's like, oh wow. And she's like, yeah, I wrote a rower in and July 4th is hard for wow and she's like yeah I wrote a

raran and July 4th is hard for him I'm like I mean I respect that he's a veteran and etc but like I just like I feel like July 4th is about some other things too I don't know I just feel like you know what's crazy about July 4th oh it's you know independence day but it's also one over it came back from Iraq. It's like, okay. The fourth of July is about America. It's like when to celebrate America and everybody who does things for America.

And Lindsay's like, July 4th, it's like about me and every way. Because that's when I hugged him the hardest and then you would cry and stuff. So we were on a teammate, I forgot to sport, but it was like veteran teams and those are harder to play, but it was like veteran teams and those are harder to play, but it's more important when they win.

And so I'm like, should I play a game with Everett on 4th of July? It's really tough, it's in my heart, okay? I really mean that. Okay, I'm gonna make out with a meal on 4th of July. It's just really hard because on 4th of July, it's like all I see are flags. It's like, Everett, Everett is Everett. And you know what? Everett's favorite thing to do is on Fourth of July. It's so much fireworks and now they're gonna be fireworks tonight. It's like, Arra, Arra.

I was like, please tell me you're leading up to a guest spot from Everett where he's like, oh, can we make this work? We can't use stupid bitch. And then they fight, you know, they fight and it's over. Don't try and lead me on. Okay, Lindsay, don't tell me you're bringing Everett back for the weekend and then I just get to watch you chase around a meet. Yeah, that's not, a meet is no effort, that's for sure. So, yeah, so Carl and Kyle are back at home making the Tiki bar. There's, you know, life has a funny way of changing perspectives on things and when you see a super super white show like this and

Playing around with Tiki's Sort of brings back memories of a time of last summer where you think hmm. This is this feels weird Which part of last summer? I maybe when like the KKK and March maybe when like the KKK and March 3d was the little TK torches. Oh my God. I thought you meant on summer. Oh no. No and by the way I'm not saying that these people are KKK racist. It's just really funny. TK torches, they march through with TK torches. Yes, that's the whole thing. That's why TK torches, now there's like a joke with TK torches. It's like oh like white supremacists. I'm not saying these people are. I was just making a joke about you know about Tiki torches. The modern HAKK basically goes to get their hateful shit at the sale section of Ross because Ross always has those

at summertime. It's like look Tiki torches and I'm like those will burn down my house. They're made out of plastic. That's all I can think when I see them. Thanks for ruining them for me, Ben. Well thank you for ruining my Tiki Torch white joke. And now I saw like a snowflake that melts in the flames of a Tiki Torch. And the rest is little snowflake. Melt it down and giving back to the earth. They make a bunch of soft wood jokes, but I was over here like girl, you know how much shit I've made from Home Depot that has almost killed me in a earthquake. I know about, like, ghetto styling shit from Home Depot, but the top of the bar is the flimsyest wood. It can't hold

anything. Nice. Come on. Come on, guys. I know big week for crafty on Bravo because, look like they were just building a Tiki thing and they're like, hey, print out the instructions from crafty.com. I was like, oh, and then there was a commercial for crafty. I was like, okay, okay. Or, why don't you just do like top chef and have crafty come in and build the fucking thing? Yeah. So, then Steven goes and facetimes his parents and it's like awkward. They're like, Steven, did you see Toby? You see Toby over here? You see Toby? He's like, yes, I see Toby.

I see Toby. It's Toby's tall and prosack. He seems calm. And they're like, yeah, haha. It goes, so what did you do today? That's like church. And then the mom's like, yeah, then we come home to do our sit-in and do iPads. Now that is a marriage okay. Where you have plans to go home and do your sitting. Yeah I mean that's like total real love okay. Yeah those are people who figured it out. I think it's even like well I went to the Pride parade and it's like well at least it keeps you busy. I don't even think they knew what that was. Like, you have to be very specific. It's not like every city just has a pride parade.

You know, it's like, is that the washing soap? No, that's tied, mom. Okay, well, are you proud of our dog on Pro's Act? What are you talking about? What do you even mean? He's like, well, but then Lauren came and they went to Carl Carl came and like they went to pride and it was like he made up with her and not me. It's like well you're keeping busy I mean I hurt myself

on Osmodeur Boating Larn there I said I'm so proud of you son you motorboat it that's the most supportive you've ever been. Did you take pictures? Send them to us on our iPads when we do a mix. So, um, so basically the bunch of basics arrive, you know, the floodgates open to party starts and Lauren, Lauren had like left earlier in the day to go to baby shower and then she comes back She's like, yeah, I went to a Jack and Jill baby shower for one reason only and that was to find a rich guy because she comes back in like a Maza Roddy or something and she like brings this like man troll named Hessian like Lauren you gotta get a work on your games here. She just basically asked for a ride. She's like oh my god those sorts go up like sideways like up in the earth. Like how do you park like that? Do you ever go to Trader Joe's? Could you take me home?

Could you take me home? I'm gonna take I'm gonna take home with your name, Paige. Okay, Hessian. Have you ever played Cornhole? You know Cornhole's like a whole lot of people.? I'm gonna take I'm gonna take home. What's your name? Page time. Okay, Hashem. Have you ever played with Cornhole? Like Cornhole? You know that Cornhole is the kind of Cornhole. I don't know if I made it to that. Hashem? I'm not playing Cornhole. I'm into the Cornhole. Okay. I didn't know it was that kind of a party. It's like no, no, no, it's Colonel, Colonel, Car, car, car, car, Oh, I'm sorry to go back a second, but Steven's dad was telling him, I got a tractor and I thought this is when Steven

should have been like plowing. Okay, let's move into the pride parade, Tom. You know, you have to meet in the middle, you know? You both understand plowing. Yeah, okay, back to Tom. John Deer, is it a John Deer? It's funny, I had a beat. Yeah, you have to meet in the middle, you know, you both understand plowing. Yeah, okay, back to John Deere. Is it a John Deere? It's funny. I had a John. So, um, back to you with the beer. He was a deer. He was a deer. He was a deer. Just kidding. He was and he lost our place in the grocery line. But God, he was hung like a caterpillar. So, um, it's party time. We're seeing all these different things happening.

A meat hanging at a meat is flirting with someone named Kathleen, which I don't know, some reason amused me. And Lauren is giving Danielle just a full culture to Danielle's like, hey Lauren and Lauren's just not even saying hi. That's when Danielle's like, I was raised in a Puerto Rican family, so I know when someone's not feeling me. Like what? Yeah. Yeah.

I have to do a Puerto Rico or a Puerto Rican culture. But I love that she's keeping my running joke for her going for the whole season. Yeah. Because you know she's never going to stop. She'll do it all the time. Also, I love that this is still, you guys can get to minorities, but it's still the way to show on TV. I don't care what you say,

because that girl that Amita is talking to goes, nice to meet you. I'm like, oh, white people, come on. Yeah, because Amita is now, I'm he's floating with a lot of people, but he winds up on some sort of float with a girl named Katie, and then Lindsay's like, ah, fun Lindsay. And she just like jumps on the flow and gets on top of Am and then Lindsay's like, uh, fun Lindsay. And she just like jumps on the floor and gets on top of me. It's like, um, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone, but not me. I'm always on top. I'm fun. Lindsay. That's how I like it. I'm fun. Lindsay. Like, look at me. I'm straddling. I'm riding you. That's the first time I'm riding you. Yeah. Yeah.'m writing a yeah, yeah yeah Ever Ever

Ever Hey, cuz someone sent this to Errot. He's having a really hard day today Did it a Ever Ever so So then Lauren pulls Carl away cuz Carl's doing something and Lauren pulls Carl away to

To talk to Carl about like, you know, about like, we made out everything, Carl, but like Carl, Carl, Carl, like, we need to talk about things like Danielle, Carl, Carl, make out like, why are you telling Danielle this? But, you know, typical. Yeah, he's like, oh, it's Carl in the hot sea. And Danielle's like, the twin brought a date, but the first time she got a chance to talk to Carl. She's talking to him. So, I know what that means.

You know where I'm from. Yeah. So, yeah, no wonder she brought, like, literally brought a little troll to the party and she just finally realized, what the fuck am I doing? I'm not going to talk to him anymore. I'm going to talk to Carl. For her, she, he's like, I played Cornhole for you. So she's like, um, your access, we need a conversation. So what's the confo, Carl?

What is it? What is it? And he goes, look, she's my friend. That's all she's gonna be. And that's a fox. That's a fox. And she says, then why did she come for me? Why did she come for me?

Well, I didn't say it for her. I watched TV. I didn't get any more to that. I'm gonna have to ask, what do you have to say about that, Carl? Carl, Carl. I brought you a scalpel to that. I'm a buzzer. Lana, what do you have to say about that Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl I brought you a scalpel to make up so you can make up for it. Are you are you putting on a sheet don't do it Carl? Carl gross me. I'm not going to get the party again

Then for when I didn't know he wore that whole party because he didn't tell me you were the ghost not cool Carl Carl not cool Carl And Carl has the reddest nose ever. Yeah, And she's like, well, you lied to me for six months. And he said, I didn't lie to you. She goes, yeah, you did because what am I, like in fifth grade, I have to save work girlfriend and boyfriend now. Like I have to have that label. Like what am I supposed to wait for you to put it on Facebook? Like you fucked me with no condom. So that's a girlfriend. Yeah, that's a friend. To be fair, she little, she goes, you know, you're sharing your location to me and you're fucking without a condom. That means we're more than just friends. I like that sharing your location on an iPhone is up there with beer back.

It's like the two pillars of a committed relationship. You share your location then you have to go on the pill. And you know Carl smart enough to be like sharing his location from his like desktop Mac. Yeah Unbelievable. It's sort of it's so weird. He just stays at home all day like I'm concerned about him Carl Yeah, you don't get STD's just sitting out. So uh Carl of course I might be your friend I want to be crystal clear. Okay, because last time I let her on and I like got caught in lies And this summer I like want to be open. I want to have fun add value and know you as a friend add value You're gonna redo the house while you're here

Like this is a redo your countertop. No, are you coming in with the property brothers? Love it and listing it, you know It's near the center of town So like I'm gonna add property value and also like tell you what I'm fucking other people I had a lot of curb appeal You know what and so we start saying all the slick stuff like I honestly I have to work on my communication Like I consider you a great friend. I want to be a friend with you And I honestly do not think I was too timing you and let me prove to you that I can be your friend more than anything

I just want to be your friend. I think you're a great girl And I think I'm a great great gent and I just feel like you know, we could be best friends That's just all I want to do is best friends. Do you really do sound just like him? You can do that. Yeah, it's weird. And then of course when he's like I just want to be honest, he goes, I just need to focus on me. It's like the most selfish thing to say and so she goes focus on you dude, focus on you, focus on you dude, focus on you because you know what? I don't want to date you anyway. And his cheeks is like, bye. Yeah, he comes in the you, dude. Focus on you. Because you know what? I don't want to date you anyway. And his she's just like, bye. Yeah, asher. He comes in the middle of it. He's like, hey, I just want to say bye.

So I don't know who this is. Bye. Go. Yeah. He's like, I'm literally rich. Okay. He may be hotter than me, but my car doors go up. I'm not gonna stay here playing fucking cornhole with random friends. Yeah, my I'm so rich. I have I don't have a summer house. I have an East Hampton house and a West Hampton house. Well, West Hampton is bad South Hampton. So I have four seasons house. Okay, bitch. I'm out. I don't even go into quagg. So Kyle, so then we see Lindsay. She's like flirting again. And I this was Kyle's best moment of the episode. Kyle's like, oh, there goes Lindsay again trying to prove she's single. It's single Lindsay and she's doing her hand thing

and he does literally what Lindsay and the hand thing that Lindsay does. I left out that. When she's holding like two big flat trays and then moving them back and forth. Yeah, I'm single, single Lindsay, band Lindsay. What does that mean?

Are you serving multiple tables of one time happily? I know, And I just love that Kyle shaded her for that stupid fucking hand thing that she does. So he gets wasted. He's in his mullet thing, his fourthed July mullet. And now Amanda is in her fourthed July mullet. And she's got like a pepperoni towel. And so they're singing the song to each other in the bathroom wasted. And he's like, I got a wig for Amanda with fucking Rose and she's like, yeah, we're fucking Rose, we're gonna hang on a Tuesday. And he's like, oh my God, she's perfect for me.

Yeah. We're in her pizza blanket. So yeah, I just needed a pepperoni type and a mullet and to rhyme with Rose. Suddenly, it's all starting to make sense. She gets a second picture on the wall. So then Carl's side chick or mean chick, whatever, Courtney, his flavor of the week, Courtney, who he met last week on the show, she comes over and Carl goes into that like really obnoxious, slick, charm thing where he's like, oh hi everyone

This is Courtney and this these are her amazing girlfriends Yeah, I work at a dental startup even though I got laid off But I work as dental startup and like so yeah, come on in and like in Courtney's friends like I had braces for years He's like well, you know if someone ever makes money or braces just say that's's so racist. Yeah. Yeah. I got dental jokes. I got dental jokes. Yeah. I got that with my retirement plan, my early retirement plan. Yeah. My shut up, Carl. Yeah. So, I know, even that, and I liked it because I'd love a good dad joke. Yeah. Me too. But I'm like, but it was like a, he was being slick and I hated it. Yeah, cause he's lying about a job to a girl named Courtney who they had to shoot

from behind a plant for the whole first episode. Like, what are you trying to prove and why are you trying to prove it, sir? So Kyle is talking to the twin. He's like, so have you seen Carl? I think he just did the dominoes delivery chick. Like, I don't know where he went. He's like, I don't care.

I don't care. And then Carl passes fire and he goes, behind the way and she goes always Carl always I always consider myself that cool girl who's easy going always hmm that's so sure about that Charles just my calming my cool girl you mean the car all like who braces? Hey guys brace yourself get it dad joke. Hey, Carl the child of the each other braces joke. You told each other I thought that truck was for me. Huh, okay. That's fine Do you tell how you ghosted me? Huh, okay? How about this one? She showed the linen closet, huh? Any memories from that car? Did you tell her the one about the two leg of brace? So Lindsay and a meat so Lindsay sees a meat again and she's just all over him.

She's like, oh my God, ever. Like fourth of July, one of five. And he's like, you know what, I'm gonna go get my shoes. And she goes, what are you worried about? What are you worried about? Maybe his feet getting blisters? I don't know. How does that say anything is worrisome, you know?

And he goes, nothing. And she goes, God. La, la, la. She starts making out with him. And he goes, I thought he said, I don't like you, but I guess he said I'd like you because she goes, oh, yeah. What do you mean you like me? You don't even, she goes, you don't even like me.

It goes, yeah, I do. She goes, you don't even know why you like me. Why do you like me? Why do you like me? I'm not saying you like me. Like, is that my answer? What do you like me? You're like, I'm not saying you like me. You're like, is that my answer? What do you like? She starts like dancing sexy with her hands.

She's like, do I like us inductive? Why do you like me? Tom, come on. You like me. What? What is that? The hand dance. And she's like, he goes, you know what, can I pee?

She's like, no, it's my god. He's like, can I pee? She's like, okay. And then they just show a montage of her waiting for him. He's ghosted her. He's like, totally left. then they just show a montage of her waiting for him. He's ghosted her. He's like totally left. He's in the living closet. No one's like, call.

I can't believe you do this call. Call. Why the ghost again, Carl? So good. Unless he's like, what? Avert. Whatever. Whatever.

Oh my god. Ever. He's sad. He's got that. Oh my god. Today, I sat an hour ago. So no, she's coding his ass. And then some girl speaks to me. And she's like, I like it. Oh my god. Today I sat down for a tie. So, I know she's coding his ass. And then some girl speaks to me and she's like, I like guys with very high hair.

And he goes, well, I like guys with, I mean, girls, she just, ah, she just turns away. And Steven's like watching these people, watching these straight people at a Jose party is like watching prisoners getting out and finding a golden carol for the first time If you're a prisoner, would you ever go a place called Carole? I'm not sure so Everyone's like basically it's like 3 p.m. And Stephen's like oh my god. We're a full black alaretting I'm glad I got nothing from my list at the supermarket. Thanks Amanda. And Courtney's talking to Carl and she's like, he's like, yeah, so like, do you like that one?

Bray says I'm alright. She's like, oh my god, are your teeth yellow? Is that a girl hating on me? Because she like keeps like circling us. Is she hating me? Is she a hater? And Lauren is. She's like, she's trying to get his attention.

She's like, look at me. Here I am, here I am standing in front of the teak bar. Totally, totally not pulling my own hair at all. Like, I don't even care if you're right over there. You don't see me. So she walks over to like a pool float. She's like, look at me. Like, I'm like putting my boots.

That's all, that's all, that's all. That's all, that's all. Yeah, that's all, that's all. That's all I've been doing. Oh, that's all I've been doing. That's all I've been doing. You got me, let's walk over there. Let's walk over there. Let's walk over there.

Lauren, let's walk over to this corner. Okay, now stand here. Carl, Carl is here. Even though, clearly, this is bothering Lauren. So good. And meanwhile, Carl is still talking bullshit. He's like, you know, Gordy and I are just getting to know each other. So I'm just trying to think of the right steps to communicate effectively.

I'm like, why are you, what's up with this corporate talk with how you flirt? This is, shop carl. Yeah, it's like job, job, start up, job, you know, braces. This is cool. Yeah, so now Dan Gell is on Steven's balcony. I think it's Steven's balcony. Well, it's actually one, I've never seen a balcony. It's one's balcony. Well, it's actually one I've never seen about any it's one giant balcony

It's one of the balcony all the houses are all the rooms are attached to yeah So she's like being the Paula Abdul of the judging panel while Steven's down on the ground level So Lauren's like, we'll see if he we'll see if he talks to a girl in front of me again I don't care about him. I don't care so she grabs this dessert and she marches out there and everyone's like, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, Hi, Carol best friend. Let's make out hey best friend. Let's make out. We're gonna do this. Huh, okay Except the thing is that when she did it It was so awkward because she was like holding this cake and then there was someone in her way so she was like Excuse me. All right. All right Okay, hold on like it's She kicks her foot out of the way hold on let me lift this up. Okay, wait Carl keep your head there. All right. Okay. Here we go Carl

Here come cake what oh are you ready? Okay? We go wait is everybody is there watching okay? We go oh wait, oh my little bit frost. Let me go Really hard game. It's like a really heavy cake. It's actually kind of a good cake Maybe we shouldn't put it in your face. Carl do you want to have the cake? I have some cake with me can have your cake in you too, but you can have your cake in me. Carl Like someone have this cake for me. I don't want to waste this whole cake. Carol someone have it someone have it Carle wait there wait there for the joke girl wait there

I thought that someone made that it was waste this whole cake. Someone have it. Someone have it. Car will wait there. Wait there for the joke, car will wait there. I felt like someone made that. It was actually a homemade cake. I was like, not the cake. Amanda's like, thank God it was in the guac. I'm making guac eyes. So she does it. She hits them in the face like 30 times with the same cake

that will not break. It's like the hardest cake ever. And then Dan yells like, shit, that's a girl you don't want to mess with, and now I'm on her bad side. And I know what that means, because I live in Hoboken, and I see the good side every time I look over the river. Not good. Not good.

Hey, that cake guy's in Hoboken, so I know about cakes. And that's not good. A simple guy, the Hoboken cake guy, cake master, or something, whatever. Oh, no, no, no, no. I've erased him. S hobo can cake guy, cake master or something? Whatever. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'd be raced in. Siggies? Are you talking about Siggies guys?

No, there's a cake. There's a guy on the learning channel, or TLC. I still have not switched over to that brand. Anyway, that's basically it. So another fun silly episode. Where really nothing happened, but Lauren worked as well. Whipped herself up into her frenzy and then put a cake into Carl's face, which is honestly all I need out of the show.

That's really all we need. That's all we ask for. It's so much a go crazy, a bunch of nonsense to happen, and Lindsey get dumped, getting dumped, like by a sliding door. I mean, that was so good. Yeah, that's all we need. So, you guys, thanks so much for listening to our episode of our recap of Summer House. We'll be back tomorrow to talk about Top Chef. And of course, our shows are going on sale tomorrow morning. So keep an eye on the social media. Keep an eye on our website at watchocrabbons.com.

And be sure to buy your tickets, okay, because we want to see you and your smiling face that has no cake on it when we come to your city. Yeah, I will tell you when there's gonna be cake on your face. Yeah. Everybody, we sure love you. Have a great day. Bye, everyone. Bye.

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