Watch What Crappens - SummerHouse: Take Your Mom To Wirkus Day
Episode Date: March 2, 2018Parental visits don't get in the way of drunken Wirkus rants - that's what we learned on this week's "Summer House." Join us as we unpack the latest madness! And be sure to tell all your frie...nds about the podcast! Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Watch what crap ends, watch what crap ends
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends
What crap ends, what crap ends Hey everybody, welcome to Watch Your Crapp It's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo
that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bantre Blender
podcast and joining me today on this lovely, what day is it today, Thursday or something
like that? Well, joining me today is a man who's just so wonderful,
so lovely, and I wish he brought his mom to this podcast
the way the cast members of Summer and House
brought their moms to the Summer House.
It's Ronnie Carram from trashshocksheep.com
and the Roach for Spature Podcast.
Well, hello, Ben Jemooni.
How are you doing today?
Good, I'm doing great.
Yeah, that's great to hear.
What a summery house kind of a day, Bean.
It's such a summery house kind of a day.
And summer house would be nothing without some sunshine.
So let's have some sunshine on everyone's lives by telling everyone to go to watchorcraftens.com
to buy tickets to our live shows.
Houston, we're doing dinner party from hell from Real House, the Beverly Hills with
Allison Dubois.
I mean, she's not going to be there, but we're going to talk about
her. And so go get your tickets for that. Help us sell that one out. Also in Detroit, we're
doing a Detroit show, not quite sure what we're talking about there yet, but that's coming
up towards the end of March. We want to sell that one out too. So help support the podcast,
help it grow. It's going to be a big old party there.
All our live shows have been tremendous, tremendous fun.
We always have a blast.
I can't wait to meet all those Michiganders, people from the mountain, people from the upper
mountain, the lower mountain, whatever it's called.
I'm excited for that.
And I love, I love, I love me a Michigan accent.
So y'all come to the Detroit show.
It's going to be a mazing and you go got, you can get your tickets at
watchrocrapins.com. We also have an Irvine show coming up in
April. That's gonna be super fun. We're gonna have some really cool
giveaways it looks like and we're gonna once we can say what they are
we'll let you know but like I personally am excited and
it involves, it involves a brand
that we really enjoy and people on Bravo really enjoy.
So that being said, that being said, let's pivot to the Hampton shall we?
Let's go to the Hampton guys, it's summer house time and we know it's gonna be a good episode because it's narrated by Stephen. He was wearing a scarf
Not very summer house appropriate. It's more like winter house
And then he's making really fun puns. He's like, Ashtas returned to the Hamptons was a touch melon dramatic
And we like really hammerers it in there.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I have a scarf.
I have a scarf.
It's a melon dramatic.
Yes.
And then they show just Ashley holding that melon over her head and smashing it down.
Yeah.
Eat it.
That's the most exciting thing that's happened this season.
A melon getting smashed.
It was very Gallagher chic.
Summer Gallagher was curious.
He was furious.
Gallagher, Gallagher, Gallagher, Adelene, Dimer.
It was my hand.
Why do you need Gallagher to map it?
Where's Gallagher?
Where's Gallagher?
Steven's, we start where we ended off last week, which is...
In a bar with Ashley, Steven, and Carl. So Steven's we end we start where we ended off last week, which is
In a bar with Ashley Steven and Carl Carl Carl Carl He's gonna go on like Broughnight
I thought it was gonna be bro that was just me Steve bro. I thought you like two gents just two gents. Can you be here cheers gents cheers
Draw gents. Yeah, let's draw. Yeah, okay when those are draw gens
Where's Vickil Lewis? Trends just kidding
So he thinks he's gonna go there on a friend date with Stephen and Stephen has
Chica Lee brought Ashley in for the sole purpose of being like you're a motherfucker car
It's pretty unfair. I like that's a pretty unfair move. I think really to do to anybody just to bring Ashley in randomly
Yeah pretty unfair move. I think really to do to anybody just to bring Ashley in randomly. Yeah, it's, you know, Steven's about to drop a major truth bomb and I feel like,
yeah, I know he's, I know he needed Ashley for support, but I mean, Ashley already knows,
so it doesn't really even matter, but it is kind of like putting Carl on display. Like it's,
like it's based him saying, guess what I remember that thing you told me
In confidence well, I've told everyone and I want to do this in front of someone else that way you feel the full humiliation
Even though I'm TV yeah on TV
There is no head wait, what is it? There's no puree
Like a Stephen scorned.
You have no fury like a Steven score there. I finally get the car is a fucker.
Let's not forget that. Okay. So it's a fucker. Yes.
So if you have to feel uncomfortable for a little bit, then so be it.
So the last episode ended with Steven saying, wow,
you don't you remember? You told me like the best had you ever got
was from a guy.
And it's like, to be continued in Friends font,
which is always hilarious to me,
that you can just rip off Friends font.
Yeah, they're all like in a water fountain
the next episode, like holding umbrellas.
Steven's got one of those unicorn blow up things around him.
Just like, man, you never said that there.
I don't even know the lyrics of that stupid song.
So no one told you life is going to be this way.
Your life's a joke, your bro.
Can you got ahead from some guy to party once?
No, no.
I'll be there for you, Carl.
Carl, where are you, Carl?
Carl, I'm trying to be there for you, Carl.
Carl, I'll be there for you, Carl.
Carl, do you want an umbrella? You need an umbrella, Carl? Carl, you want to have it? My umbrella you Carl Carl I'm trying to be there for you Carl Carl I'll be there for you Carl I'll do one on Brawler you need an umbrella Carl you're
gonna have it my own girl girl I'm up there I'm up there I'm up there I'm up there I'm
be careful it's looking good you want me to be melancholy mad at Carl this water
pattern it's like that Carl okay Carl so Ashley S a very important question wait so
you said the best head so now she's she's mad for her first her sick. She's like, I taught law and everything I know.
This was bad.
This is so...
It's like, now Carl handled pretty well, I have to say.
It's one of the only times I can remember even ever seeing on TV, or sometimes just like
yes, too.
Like you didn't freak out.
Like, do you think that gay?
He was just like, look, I said when that's 23 years old,
the eye of three, some of these girls and some gay goddess around and like he got
in the middle.
Okay.
And I was mortified the next morning and it's happened and that's what I said.
I'm like, I love only Carl could not be mortified that he is talking about
fucking three different girls wasted some party.
But there's a gay guy there.
Well, he just sort of brushes it off.
Like, which is like, wait up, no, no, no, no.
Like, he just like, yeah, I was having a threesome
and the two girls in this like, gay guy,
I just sort of was like, it got in the middle
and just whatever.
It's like, what are you talking about?
He got in the middle.
Like, it's not like,'s snuck in like the hamburger
where I was like, I'm giving you a blowjob now.
You know, it's like, he was part of it the entire time, Carl.
Like, when you do a three-sum, no one just like walks it.
Like a gay guy doesn't walk in and be like,
okay, I'm here now.
And then everyone's like, okay, cool.
Like, y'all were hanging out.
Y'all were getting frisky.
He wasn't just like in the middle.
He was like part of the plan.
So I thought it was-
I never know, it could have been me, I could have been like,
hey guys, Dominos here.
Don't, you know, or whatever, just being happy
and then being forced to blow Carl.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know how it happened.
He just made it seem like this gay guy just sort of like
snuck in, just like, just like,
dove into the middle of the threesome,
they're like, well, there's a gay guy here now.
I guess, all right, Carl, you gotta get bloated by him.
No, it doesn't really work that way.
Yeah, he's like, I feel like a gay guy.
Yeah, I tripped him out.
Yeah, tripped him out.
Yeah, tripped him out.
Like, we were having a three-semit gay guy came in,
and we're like, oh, well, I guess he'll have to blow me now.
I mean, I'm straight, but there's a gay guy here.
I don't want to be rude, Trent.
So, like, I wonder, you want't want it. You want some of this?
You want some of this, Gent? Hey, Gents, more life, more below jobs.
Also, how is how is sexual sexuality this fluid now that I don't I can't there's no gay guy that I know.
Maybe a by guy, but there's no gay guy that I know that would be like two girls and a guy sounds great.
Like when girl and a guy would be would be work, but two girls and a guy, it's like, you know, get me
a pizza up, okay?
Yeah, I don't know guys, whatever.
Two girls and a guy to meet up.
Yeah, I think that most, like if it was a guy and a girl, a gay guy might be like, maybe
all coming here and then becomes like, you know, then he's like, and he gets, but yeah,
when there's two girls, that's like a lot of there's a lot of vagina, I think, for a lot of, for a lot of gay men.
I don't want to be for all of them because there are a lot of gay men who are like, they
can do it.
But I just, I mean, but the story is fishy.
This, it is fishy and not, and it's not a pun intended.
It's not a pun intended.
It was a pun.
It was a pun.
It was a pun.
It was a bad pun intended.
It makes me all clammy just talking about it
You know what I have a real bones a pack. I have a real bone to pick with you about this all right
This whole storyline sucks So Carl's like I'm confident my sexuality. Okay many men have had the experience I'm there
I said it and now she's like I don't really care about gayness,
but like, were you hitting on Steven?
Because that's the important thing here.
And Steven's like, I don't even care about your sexuality.
A carer that you called me a liar.
And then he keeps like throwing his head to the side,
like about to cry.
Look, I feel, I love me so Steven,
but come on now.
You're, of course he's calling you a liar. You're telling him something, I feel I love me so Steven but come on now
Of course he's calling you a liar. You're telling him something you're
You're telling on something that he told you in private and then you squawked it to somebody else
You're not the victim in this. Sorry. Yeah. I mean
I know it sucks when someone says you're a liar and you're telling the truth that sucks
I will say it is a little bit of a gray area, like what Ronnie said, because it is like a very, very private thing.
I feel like if Carl were going above and beyond and going on a full assassination campaign
against Stephen, then I would get it.
And that may be happening, but we're not really seeing that.
So it's like, it's a little, yeah, it feels like a major overkill punishment for Carl.
But here's the thing though, I mean, Carl is so Carl that I can kind of imagine just
getting so frustrated with him that you're just like, fuck it, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna
call you out on your shit because you're so coral is driving me nuts, you know?
Yeah, and then this next part I can see being mad at because after he's like, I care that
you call me out, liar.
And then he looks to the side, he's like, and then he told Lauren that I had a crush on
him.
Well, that's fucking annoying.
I can see that.
But this is still, this is still not enough to be like in a Mexican feed restaurant on a Monday night fighting with Ashley by your side
It's a guy feel like I don't really know you and that sucks because I really cared about our friendship
Yeah, I feel like I have to I have to hold the summer house producers to task here
I feel like they have some sloppy storage hell like going on this season. I don't feel like there
This should have been like,
this moment should have been like a whoa moment.
And so I was like, oh, okay.
Like it didn't, they're not setting up their stories right.
And this scene was so quick,
the scene was like 30 seconds long.
And then like four days later,
like oh my God, what's the following?
And then it's like, and then yeah, friends pot.
Turn in and in and in and in and in,
four days later.
And it's like, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. And the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, the ham, and yeah, friends, pot. Turnin' in an airin' in an airin' in an airin' four days later. And it's like, ba-bap-bap-bap,
get the tip, man, ha-tin' in the hamptons,
hamptons, hamptons.
Highways, highway, striving,
I'm like, oh, we're just, oh, we're back to the hamptons.
It feels like this is a scene that needed to breathe.
And it felt like there needed to be more stuff
leading up to it.
I don't know, it's like,
I just need an explanation in general,
because I don't understand what's going on.
Steven's like crying and looking away.
Like he's just been told he's gonna be divorced.
You know, he's looking away.
And then he's like, we were friends,
but I didn't like him like that.
Which, who knows?
I mean, I can't say what's in someone's heart.
I know that that's the automatic assumption
is you just like Carl and I assumed it
in last week's episode.
So I don't know and I can't say what someone feels,
but a normal friend, like, if I was out to lunch with you
and we were having an argument about something
and then you just started crying,
and looking up to the side and being like,
ah, I just don't think that happens in a normal friendship.
Like there's something else going on.
Yeah, I don't know.
Or maybe I'm just not sensitive like that.
Carl's just not a normal guy, though.
Like I feel like in weird ways that when you're dealing
with Carl, sometimes the old rules don't count.
But I do think that the old rules of storytelling do.
And I think that there has been
their weird scenes that are very sloppy.
Like that first interparty in the season premiere
that was so chopply edited,
it was hard to follow the narrative.
It's like there's too much time spent on dol shit
of like partying and then like the scenes where it feels like there's gonna be some drama
It those are like too hastily
You know the story goes to hastily and I just feel like this should have been like
Like an oh my god moment in the show and it kind of felt like a
Yeah, even Ashley was quiet. She's like I have nothing to say
like a huh. Yeah, even Ashley was quiet.
She was like, I have nothing to say.
I'm like, that never happens, okay?
My bottom line on this whole scene
in this whole situation is basically, look,
I don't know who's in love with you
and I don't really give a fuck.
But if Carl was ugly and fat,
no one would care about any of this.
No one would care.
And I stand by that.
Nobody in the house would be fighting over Carl
in any way, shape or form okay
So there's something about Carl just being cute and flirty and making everybody feel like he's in love with them
So partially I blame Carl for just being Carl but also it you know like it's uncool to take somebody this
I think something that somebody told you in private and just blab it to everybody and then it is it is
I'm cool. You're the victim at the end. It is uncool
But I think that had the story
telling them better, it would have been in the context of,
you know what, Carl is so fake to everyone, right?
He really is fake to everyone.
He tells people what they want to hear,
and then he like does not live up to his word,
or he like he plays mental games with everyone.
And it's like it drives everyone nuts.
And so really in the we had that had been more present
about Carl in On Summer House, just the way it is
with the Lauren story line, it's very much there.
But we don't actually, we feel it in the Lauren story line
because you see him say things like,
I'm trying to be a better person,
I don't wanna hurt you, and then he does some fuckering and you're like, oh, but with, but with everyone else,
it's like, you're not seeing it, but I believe it's there.
And so that's why there's like a disconnect between how we really should be
feeling about the scene and versus.
I think I think Stephen was pretty clear about getting that across during the,
during the thing during the season.
So far, at least for me, I mean, I heard him mentioning the basic Carl fakeness thing.
My issue is just that why are you crying? Like, I don't understand it. I don't understand why anybody
cares about Carl. And we talked in our Vanderpump rules episode with Laura, which is amazing if nobody's
heard it. It's two hours. Go listen. Yeah. But we were talking about the recent slew of just
basically abusive assholes on TV, like Carl, who were like, yeah, it's just how I am.
I told you, like, so you can't be mad
because I told you we were just friends,
which really, on paper, if you look at it, that's true.
He did tell everybody, everybody that's crying
or upset in this episode, Carl's already said a million times,
look, like we're friends, but that's it.
It's like the summer and I'm dating,
I'm like, I'm gonna hook up and like,
I just, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
you gotta set that. Yeah, you gotta, I'm gonna say,. I'm gonna say you have the inflection of his voice down.
Like you got that like tongue thing going on. I had to like really work.
It's just like pushing down my tongue right. I just like push it down. Like it's not
real. It's just you just sort of speak a little bit like it's like you got like a
bit your tongue a little bit earlier today. Yeah. That's what it does. It's
to be like that. Yeah. Yeah. so I have to say now, again,
I really don't care about Gainus like I'm past that.
Yeah, I'm gonna post again.
After all of this, Carl is wearing the most makeup ever
and wearing the Titus white jeans upper.
I'm like, are you trying to become Joel Gray playing
Yolanda Foster?
Like what is happening with this?
Don't you, Rodney.
How dare you? And it's like that image on all of our listeners cuz it's too perfect
Playing yo on that oh my god
It's so true is like I'll care about like who started his game like I don't either but please put on less lipstick for this
but please put on less lipstick for this thing. Like, oh God.
So now it's like four days later.
And, sometimes, so no one told you
that'd be traffic on the L.I.R.
But now we made it to the Hamdons in a car.
I feel like we're always second second gear. Oh,
learn to drive.
Liz, you're on the shoulder. Lindsay, you literally are in second
gear on the freeway. I'll be there at 2 p.m. Unless there's
traffic, I'll be there at 2. Oh my God, I've at Roda here.
So Carl is in the car with Lenta and it's there with Carl's mom, Linda and Lindsay's at Ronda,
which my mother's name is Ronda. So I was immediately like, L-O-L.
Every time she says that, Ronda, I start cracking up.
Yeah, it was take your mom to work day.
And by work, I mean, to a den of,
to a dirty white rib-ditch.
Den of a people's house.
Den of, a den of watermelon.
Den of watermelon stains.
Take her mom to work his day.
So, okay, I'm running that down because that's the
episode title. Hold on. That was take your take your mom to work us.
Let me hear all week. You're killing it. You're killing it. You're killing the game.
Good. So stupid. So girl, I was like, I'm a straight up mama's boy and also straight. And I was like, let's invite our moms and call it like the mountains. It sounds like a disease. It's like Long Island,
but with moms as mom island. It's great. My parents are getting divorced, so I'm getting my mom
laid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't do that. Which he would. You would. Like, cheers, Jens, cheers.
Like, Carl, I'm your mother.
Stop calling me a Jent.
Jens, Jens, Juntelman, who is getting divorced?
You, Carl, I'm a lady.
I'm not a Jentelman.
All right, Juntelman.
All right.
So the workers has arrived with their mom.
The workers has arrived with their mom.
They, you know, the workers is as a family, they are really committed
to shoulders out, whether it's like strapless
or a thing, shoulders out, pirate ruffle below.
That is a workers trademark at this point
because it's like mom, daughters, sisters, cousins, dogs.
It's just like everyone's got the ruffle.
Yes, it is definitely all different versions of the same person
And the mom's like, I'm here girls like we know
Okay, we know they're also loud that fam
I know that's a family that you're like at the golden crowd and you're like I'm eating at the golden crowd
And I'm still mortified by that family's behavior. Hey, I actually want some cottage cheese
I want some cottage cheese here. So I'm pineapple
I'm not pineapple. I'm trying to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, but you know rice balls different than chocolate pudding. Right. Rice pudding gets different than chocolate pudding.
That is what they would sound like at the Golden Corral.
They just like have their own designated chafers.
Like, oh, the workuses are coming in.
And the mom's like, I need to kill.
I was like, Oh, geez. So the twins, it really is nice to see the twins back in
interviews together. Yeah, no, they need to be it's actually,
it's actually amazing how much life was injected into the show
once Ashley came back. It's just that that that intangible thing
that the show needs, you know, yeah, and they're like, Mom,
all the moms are coming by.
I'm not.
I'm not.
Steven, Steven's gonna come.
Come on, go Steven McGee.
Oh, I like his dad's name.
Pleetis McGee.
The Pleetis.
Like whoa way to cleet it seems.
Yeah.
God.
I'm gonna curl up in the cleetest position.
Get it.
I am on that's good.
That's good.
I'm poised pleetis.
Get it girl.
Oh my god.
That was hilarious. Yeah, mom. That was so funny, mom.
So then Lauren, of course,
are talking about Carl. Carl, Carl, Carl.
Carl, Carl, Carl.
Lauren, you have to set your boundaries.
Can you say your boundaries?
Lauren goes, I realize, mom, guess what?
I realize, let Ashley set my boundaries.
And the man who's making like a swirl cake,
which is like the so-the-work of his family.
Yeah.
She's like, that's a Luria girl.
Do you know, I was like massively invested in that cake.
I was watching it come together and then at one point,
there were like crushing some Oreos and I was like,
please let me see the final product because I really want
some of it and I love a cake.
My little friend loves his cake.
I love my cake and I want to eat it too.
Do you not like cake?
You almost said in a way like,
isn't it crazy to like cake?
Because who likes cake? No, I didn't mean it that way. I just love it.
I was so like cake on TV because I was like, oh my god, that cake
Carol, there's the cake. Just walk take both.
I like all the I like all the inner burden like stuff like do you want to BBC?
You want carl do you like the swirl to like the swirl like BBC? It's like
BBC sort of like the swirl? Do you like the swirl? Like BBC? Like, um, BBC swirl, you like the swirl? I remember the swirl.
BBC swirl.
The swirl. Never to really try this world before. Yeah, you can have some.
We're talking about cake, right? I don't think so.
Hey, that squirrel just totally happened to like good droppin' when I was having a
threesome with a BBC. So, yeah, the only time,
the first time I had a BBC, it was was just a BBC in the middle of the
threesome. Just sort of like happy to be there. Just sort of like, it was weird. I wasn't expecting it.
And then all of a sudden it was there. And I was like, this is some pretty amazing BBC.
Carl, I don't know what you're talking about right now.
Yeah, the cocktail, the cocktail, the cocktail the cocktail the cocktail. So the mom's like,
Carol's and getting cleaned up. So she leaves the twins alone and Ashley goes,
Oh my God, Lauren, I literally walked out a lot of Monday night. Like I blocked it out.
I'm like, typical. Of course she did.
Uh, I noticed she didn't clean up the watermelon, whatever night that was.
Got lady. So Lauren's like, well, here's here's what happened like Steven's told me a story
And then Carl told me that Carl was not that Steve was lying to me and I saw like a car about sexuality
It's just like well, why were you telling Carl the story that Steven told you you people all deserve it
Okay, many people keep it God damn secret
I don't know the best part is anybody. I mean they all knew they all knew
You know like everyone was talking everyone was talking about that night at about it. I mean, they all knew, they all knew. You know, everyone was talking about it
at that night at the house when I was there.
Like everyone knew, but like it was all about
like how are we going to approach this with Carl.
And no one was like, ew, he's gay, it wasn't like that.
It wasn't, everyone was like cool with it,
which I think is by the way, actually a really awesome
thing that we're at this place where like no one cared
and like it is cool that the show is not like oh my god
He might be gay the show isn't doing that
But it was right well seemingly and that's what I like is I just what you said
I totally agree but at the same time they're making a huge story line about somebody having like semi gay sex one time
And they were 23 right while they're acting like they're all cool with it
They're all freaking out about it and talking about it non-stop
So and it's great. So, and they,
Well, because it's great gossip now.
I mean, let's not, let's, I mean, listen,
we are, we are more enlightened now perhaps,
but it's still a good gossip because it's like,
whoa, Carl.
Yeah, Carl.
Yeah, Carl.
Carl.
Hey, Carl.
So, if it makes you look at me like,
any more of a man,
I just grew more hair on my shoulders while you were watching.
He really did. He has like some good color bone hair going.
So, so now they're like they're of course anticipating a full,
I thought it's gonna be a full show from Carl. He's like,
I think nothing happens. We just like full Carl being Carl.
Just like non-sub Carl, like 100% Carl.
Yeah, he's like Carl. It's like totally Carl. It's like time
wipe hands, a hat, you know, like Carl.
It's Carl.
APM is Carlton. Yeah. You know, the Carlton's rising. APM Carlton. So he comes to the house every
their car arrives to the house and Lizzie comes in. She's like she goes,
oh, yeah, which is so loonsy. Lizzie has like such a certain tone to her voice. She's like,
holly. I did not hear that, but I trust that it was there.
It sort of sounds like when you have like an old cassette tape
and it sort of sounds a little warp sometimes.
Yeah, I think I'm imitating Lindsay
as the Swedish chef imitating one.
I don't even remember what's happening anymore.
Flurga, derraga.
Carol, the bar.
Pah, derraga, derraga. the sweetest chef Ben get to the ampune.
I just realized I thought you're talking about Lauren, not Lindsay.
We're talking about Lindsay.
Oh, no, I was talking about Lindsay.
Oh, that's why I was talking to you.
I was like, I don't think Lauren has ever made that noise before.
But Lindsay, like, I don't think anybody has.
I think that was all in my head.
So in the kitchen, Carl's like, everybody, this is my mother.
And then Ashley sizes her up and starts like,
Ella Welling behind her hand to Steven.
And then Steve, what the hell?
No, wait, see, even wasn't here.
She starts like sizing up the mom and kind of making Ella Well
signs that somebody, which I didn't really understand she's shading Carl's mom, you know, I
Didn't I didn't pick up on that, but I believe it was there. I'm serious. I don't know why I'm serious this whole episode
I think it's because it's the end of a week and I'm like I'm just mad. I'm so mad about everything
I mean to be fair
I think I was honestly really stirring at that cake because I had another note here saying what sort of cake are they making?
I'm bad at cake. I'm at at taxes! I'm bad at traffic and children!
We also learn in the most low stakes plot of the entire series that's gonna be the first time that
Colin Amanda's mom's meet. How will they get along tomorrow when they come to the house? Who knows?
Well, you must be the widest people on earth.
Will you even recognize each other?
Will they just be like two little grains of flour?
Wait till you're like,
then you cake, I love the cake.
It'll be like two spotlights shining at each other.
So they're like, ow, ow, ow, ow.
So now it's just like mom and child time.
So Carl's with his mom out by the pool and she's
like a lovely lady and then she loves Aunt Ronda because I guess they drove up together.
Yeah, so Carl's like, I like your red shorts mom.
It's a really good red shorts, Jen.
Cheers to red shorts.
Hey mom, not gonna be single long with this red shorts.
I love that Aunt Ronda is just like my mom, Ronda.
It's like, hey it that uh, Aunt Rhonda is just like my mom, Rhonda. It's like, hey, it's
me Rhonda. Like they said her in multiple scenes where she's just dancing in doorways
with the glass of wine. There's music, sweet music. I see in the game room. I like that
she sings so out of tune that Bravo doesn't have to worry about any rights infringement
that they can just like keep it
because you know normally you can't sing on these shows but she's so out of tune
they're like the actual song yeah she's so out of tune like it's like so far from dancing in the
streets that she's like yeah we can keep it it's the notes are notes are not new version of name
that tune lord there's not even a hint it's just Ed and rock why I'm trusting you the wrong grudge it's like I will always love you
my heard it through the great vibe
I'm just living the neutron dance
neutron dance
all right that wasn't fair because it was in the title, but I want everyone to win because I'm at random
It's like oh my god, I'm so in there
Hey girl, I want to go to commercial. Yeah, I want to go to commercial
I'm going to go to commercial and ask her to like ask like that
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But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable.
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So then Amanda's like, me and Carl have come a long way.
I got a kid with house and we've had huge conversations.
And they show that clipping band where he's wasted like I really like being with you.
Yeah.
There was a lot of farting and farting and storing in this episode.
A lot. A lot. It's a good thing that a meat and Danielle shows not to come by. I like that they're not even showing up to work anymore.
They're just like this, no.
Bye.
Yeah.
So Dana workers, that's the mom.
She's talking about Carl and Carl's mom.
She's like, you know, she's a lovely lady.
He's not the right boy for you, period.
You know that Lauren's like, he's the right boy for me, period.
Got it, mom.
Got it, got it. Well, you know, when you grow up with that's like he's the right part for me period got it mom got it got it
Well, you know when you grow up with that many women in the house You're used to having a lot of periods
and it's kind of funny
It's joke nailed it nailed the period so
And you know, it's funny cuz both the moms Carl's mom and Lauren's mom are both telling them well, you know when the right girl comes around
You'll you'll like right girl right boy comes around you'll you'll know like right girl
Right boy comes around you'll know you'll know don't worry. You'll know. They're just like
Quietly trying to steer them away from each other like this is gonna be terrible. No. No. Do not go any further down this path
And then they're mine. They're yeah, they're really thinking. Oh my god. You're almost 40. Oh my god
You're almost 40 honey honey. I can only help so much honey
Dana's like well, you know what I always say when the buses lost control get out of the way
You know what I always say when the printer runs out of paper
Go to the other room and find a room of paper if you can and if you can't find it there go to staples. That's what I say
You know what I always say when you're falling down some stairs don't fall down those stairs. It's like well-graded. No, I get out of there. She goes get out of
the way of the bus and that's one big yellow bus and then they cut the car all and he's
wearing a yellow shirt. What sort of school bus is like? It just happened a lot. Do school
buses? I mean did she just watch the suite here after? What is going on here? You know
what I say when the elevator's going down
and you want to go up, you got to get out of the bank,
but make sure it's out the,
make sure it's out floor 18,
because otherwise you're not going to be able
to get to the right transfer floor.
And then you go press the button, you go up,
and that's what you do.
Oh my God.
I love that before this episode.
I was like, okay, let's try not make this like three hours long.
It's minute 30, man.
And we're like, oh god, it's minute 30.
It's minute 30, because we, yeah.
We talked about this before.
You know what I say, when the time is.
Well, it's like what I always say when the clock says it's 30 minutes, check another clock to make sure it's actually 30 minutes.
It's like the least poetic saying of all time.
You know what I say?
I don't even want to feel alone.
But you need to stick a picture onto a piece of paper, get out a glue stick or use an almost glue or some rubber cement.
Or sometimes if you just lick, that'll be enough.
You know, for a temporary stick, that's what I always say.
You're gonna go right, thanks for taking up.
You know, I'm making expressions based on things
on my desk right now.
In case you couldn't tell, I mentioned the printer or staple.
That's basically how this show works.
Oh, you know what I always say.
I always say, if you got a microphone on the ground
with wires called up, you got to put it on a shelf at some point
But maybe not today because you're feeling lazy
You know what I always say when you got a big light if you're gonna get a big lighter
You might as well get one of those long ones that you need to use to light a fireplace
And you know now they have them where they bend back and forth might as well get that one that's what I always I love a saying that has like an aside in it
Okay, that one, that's it, that one. I love a saying that has like an aside in it.
Well, you know what I always say,
if you're going to get a new light bulb,
you might as well get one of those new ones.
You know, they got the new ones that they can look like daylight,
but it can also look like natural soft light,
you might as well get one of those.
Oh my God.
So they're having, oh, so Carl's showing her mom the backyard
and the fool, and she's like, oh my God, Carl, I
love those floats.
And he goes, oh yeah, what's your favorite one?
She goes, I think the pink one, I think he goes, that's Steven.
And she goes, oh.
She's like, I could tell because it was glaring at me.
I'm so sorry.
I'm coughing at you.
No, it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry that you'm coughing at you.
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
I'm sorry that you're coughing
and that we've been podcasting so long this week
and you haven't had a chance
or your lungs recover because we're talking and laughing.
No, when I lay down, I feel terrible
and then when I come to these shows, I feel so good.
It's like, I don't want to even finish me.
Oh, when I finish, I'm probably just gonna die in bed.
No, don't do that because then I have to find a co-host.
So, Carl Lara, she's hilarious.
I know.
If Ronnie dies, will people still stick with the podcast, please?
Because otherwise I'm fucked.
So, LaZania and Salad.
So, if it helps you, right, Macka, to be odd.
Yeah, we need each other.
We need each other.
Oh my God.
Artini Shep. Yeah. So, now they make dinner, each other. So I like our partnership. Yeah, so we
Next so now they make dinners to make a lasagna and a salad and of course as soon as they sit down
I was like I like to make a toast. I'm like you're always the guy that makes the toast. It's so annoying you just like
It's this aspect of Carl that drives me nuts this like this like I need to be a like a gentleman
You know, like they've got sc know, like, he didn't do anything. I'm sure he didn't even afford the goddamn wine.
He's like, I'd like to make a toast like welcome to my dinner. Like you didn't do this.
You know, let the person, let the people he picked make the text. He's kind of a good.
Yeah. And so, um, he's like, I like to give a toast to my mom who took a
eight hour bus to get here and to Dana who lives in Carl's bed
You know, whatever and they're like Carl's bad, huh?
I'm like Carl Carl. You should you should want to say Carl's good Carl Carl
Carl you still want to say Carl's thanks for telegraphing match up line
It did take me a minute. I was like what's wrong with Carl's bad
Carl to like that. There's a there's a town named after you when it says you're bad. How do you feel about that Carl?
Carl what's Carl's bad? Where's Carl's bad?
Carl's bad?
Carl's bad?
Steven coughs and he tells us, actually, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, Carl, Carl doesn't finish his dinner.
Which I love that that's a plot point on this show, but he doesn't finish.
And Carl's like, whoa, Carl's mom, you should slap his wrist. He didn't finish his plate. What is he on a diet?
And his mom guys he's just bizarre
Mom you're hilarious you're hilarious. Okay, Jen. She wants to go play some pong
Let's do some pong and so they like get up to start learning and find his like, welcome to the big leagues,
everyone, welcome to the big leagues.
I'm like, I don't know what it is.
It just gets under my skin that like,
that like, I'm gonna speak as if I just read
an S-Ware magazine thing.
Like, I don't know what it is.
It's just, just Carl.
You got Carl.
I got Carl's.
Carl's, yeah.
And Carl's mom's, and they're playing
and Carl's mom goes, Carl, you suck.
That wasn't even close.
And they actually got a close up of
his face where he was like, oh,
it's like, oh, Carl's childhood drama.
So then, um, Lauren's like, in a
perfect universe, I would love to
have her as my mother-in-law.
She's great.
Unfortunately, Carl still a dick.
Oh, and then they eventually, of course eventually of course get wasted cows playing the trumpet out
of a paper towel rack or whatever or tube
and they knock into the table and spill a drink and the man that goes
I knew that would happen
who wants a lock?
who wants a lock?
like the Call of Man though
so Lindsay and I
would have thought a table would have had like really like 25 cups on it surrounded
by drunk people, that at some point those cups would fall over.
They don't show that much of what Amanda is saying, but every time they show her saying
something, I just crack up.
I knew that would happen.
Or later when she's like, I feel like I'm just talking to myself in the mirror because
no one ever talks back to me. You know that that's like literally what's happening right?
The mirror just turned to self-around.
Hey.
The mirror's like sorry.
So we then go into like Lindsay's room.
She's hanging out with AR and they're like, there's a bug.
There's a bug.
Does a bug and Lindsay goes, grabs it.
It's a wasp.
She grabs a wasp with her bare hands.
I'm like, this may prove my point that I think she's a robot. I think she has no human emotion or sensory.
She's probably got stung like 10 times already by that stupid wasp.
She's like, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
And Rod is like, that was a wasp, Lindsey. It lived to go, how about if a nutcase came from you and run it?
Cause he's in.
I'm running music, sweet music.
Lindsay goes,
if anyone cuts me, it's wrong.
By the way, this moment was also a great visual metaphor.
You know, trapped wasps.
I mean, that's really what the show's all about.
Broken wasps. We dropped, that's really what the show's all about. Broken wasps. We trapped a wasp. And it's too dumb to know how to sting us.
Wasps, catching wasps, and then breaking wasps. Wasps, wasps, who catch wasps? Are the luckiest wasps in the way-
Why are we talking at least of Vanderpum voice, by the way?
You know what I always say about wasps?
I don't know, because everything we've got from-
Where did that come from?
Where did that come from?
We're talking about wasps and all of a sudden,
we're both in like Vanderpum mode.
So, AR, Aunt Ronda.
I had a deal with like, I'm out with this like 25 year old guy who like abs
And it was like so good, but he wasn't like a rot
But he was like close up rot and like I think I scared my car
I should avoid it because like I basically kissed him in the middle of pasta
I tried to sit on his face upside down in the cab like it's like it's a single Lindsay
I don't know if this was working.
Like, maybe I should be in a relationship,
but Lisa got laid out.
I was like, didn't, oh yeah, you didn't get laid.
And then she's like, Ronda, maybe I should be with Ronda.
I got a voicemail.
Wanna hear it?
I'll play it.
I'm gonna play it.
Okay.
And it's like, hey, Lindsay, it's me, Ervert.
Ervert. Ervert. I wanna be back with you. I love you, man. It's like hey, Lindsay, it's me, Everett.
Everett.
Everett.
I want to be back with you.
I love you, man.
And he's like obviously wasted.
I know that time stamp was like 546 AM.
You know, he's dragging himself home.
Yeah, he's sitting there.
And he's just, he's basically like,
Hey, babe.
I'm just going to say,
Hi, and I love you. and I want to be back with you
I love you more than anything in the world classic voice now
You're like a field killing field a kill a killing field is being killed
I have to love I got for you Lindsay
What a girl wouldn't amazing girl. You're like a bomb a love bomb. I want us to be great. I want us to just be anymore. I'm like, what is this world?
It's like being back in time. I don't understand things. Things are weird.
Who said also something that literally just happened in your house?
Yes. Yes it is.
They literally just did it. It by and large looks nice, but when you select, okay, so when it's like a folder of shows,
you know, like when you have like a playlist, it's like summer house, okay.
So you click the folder and it shows all like this, like five episodes.
So it used to be when you select an episode, there'd be a blurb that would peer up top.
And then you could see which episode was highlighted in the blurb obviously changes.
Now when you select the episode, the episode becomes the blurb.
So it feels like you're not sure which episode you selected.
It's a weird thing to describe. It has a lot of nuances.
But it's a challenge. It's a challenge.
You just know now you know what it's like to be with
Edward. So Lindsay's like, he is kissing my ass. Ronda, all that's bullshit. Okay, Ronda,
like he's just started campaign. Make Lindsay an effort. Great again. I'm lag.
I don't think they're meant to be together. It sounds like some type of Jewish drink.
Like something that my people service a bot.
Would you look someone, Malek?
I think that's because it's Malaga.
Malaga, I think you can...
I don't know.
It's hilarious.
And Rhonda's like, look,
I want Lindsay, I want him to be happy,
I want you to be happy,
I want everyone to be happy,
I want the world to be happy, I want happy to be happy. I want everyone to be happy. I want the world to be happy
I want happy to be happy. I knew a girl named happy once she could have been happier and if I could have made her
I woulda thanks for on dog you're that bad she got to me
Good old Anne Rhonda
Yeah, I'm sweet music. Ow
What happened? I think I got stuck by that wasp.
Nope, I'm just sitting on scissors.
That wasp is still just sitting there not sitting
and anything stupid wasp.
You can tell these moms are so fucking sick of hearing these stupid dramas.
Like Ron does like, well I just thought I'd ever be happy, you'd be happy.
God, I wish I could be cooking something right now.
And then when they showed the work, his mom making the cake.
And they're like, mom, I totally have my own identity now.
She's like, well, how low do you?
Yeah, she didn't even look up from the cake.
She's just like, oh, great.
Another day in the Hampton,
so seeing my daughter's walk about this loser.
Yeah.
So then we go to Carl and his mom.
They're sitting on the patio and talking about this divorce
that they're going through.
And basically, I think we learned this last year,
I forgot, I remember there was a scene,
but Carl's dad is leaving his mom.
He basically cheated.
And I'm asked to him, he cheated, because he's leaving.
He's going to go move him with some other lady and marry her, which I think means that
he probably cheated right if they're getting divorced.
And he's going to marry someone already.
So I feel sad.
I feel bad.
I even feel bad for Carl about it. Cause like
no matter how much of a Carl you are, you don't deserve to go through that. You know, it's
tough. And Carl just never knows how to say the right thing. And he really is trying with
his mom. He's trying to be sweet and supportive and stuff. And his mom is, God, I really felt
for I almost squeezed out some salty. It's like I felt really, really bad for her. And she seems like such a sweet lady.
And she's like, well, you know, it's so hurtful this night.
And he's like, well, you, mom, like I'll walk you
to the promised land.
I'm like, well, that means that she's about to die.
So that's the wrong thing.
That's the wrong thing.
And then she's like, well, I never would have done that.
I never would have destroyed a family like that
because look, that's what?
He didn't destroy anything. And she goes, well, I consider that a family. He's like, that's what? He didn't destroy anything.
And she goes, well, I consider that a family.
He's like, God, I can't say the right thing.
What?
What?
The thing, that it was sad.
She seems like a sweet lady.
Yeah, she seems very, very sweet.
So then the mom's all leave and I was like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da for 20, 20 seconds. She's like, my mom couldn't make it and the Laurel and Carl Webb. No, thank you. So I'm in a bar. It's like
cutaway. Never see her. Yeah. She's like, you know what I'm
going to do? Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to step
away from the summer house and I'm going to. Oh, you left me for
a moment. No, that was me simulating the producer's cover. That was more interesting. What you just did was more
thrill inducing them anything Danielle's done all year. Sorry.
Danielle seems so nice. I hate right? She actually does.
Nice. Lindsay and Steven told us that that she's going to be
awesome. Like there's something's going to happen and she's
going to be awesome. She's probably going to just start
pretending to be Stevie Nick's.
I'd be into that.
I love to see Stevie Nick's on Summer House.
I kind of felt like her hat reminded me more of Hillary from Fresh Prince, but, you know,
to each other.
No, it's like in the same evolution chart.
Yeah, it just says culturally important, I'm sure.
So now we go back to the house and oh no, we have a wasp update.
Oh my god, a wasp blew into the candle.
Oh my god, there's a wasp in the candle.
Carl, Carl, he's the wasp.
Oh wait, it's a ladybug.
Stephen's like a bat.
It's not a ladybug, but nice try.
And this guy goes,
My mom likes to mandus mom.
What does that mean?
Oh my god, it busted my mom likes Amanda's mom. What does that mean?
And that Amanda goes and that's his favorite pair of pants
She's like plenty of inlaws don't like each other like she already knows what's coming
So Lauren goes first Carl is he master bathing. Lauren goes, where's Carl? Is he masterbating? She literally asks where's Carl.
In case anyone thinks that we're excessive, yeah.
Is he masterbating?
So Carl is in his room.
He's face-tombing with a girl.
And she's saying, would she like to know?
I went to a psychic yesterday.
I was like, who do you see that I'm going to marry?
And she was like, he's six four.
He has dark hair. He lives on a beach. And he's like, oh, do you see that I'm gonna marry? She was like, he's six four, he has dark hair. He lives on a beach and he's like,
oh, do you know anyone like that?
She's like, eh, and then she goes,
you should smile, it's your best gift.
Yeah.
She's like, God, he lives on the beach.
You have scratches and sniff teeth.
I was like, huh, and they look, I know, look, huh.
And Steve and then Lauren are outside the door bar thing.
Yeah.
They're like, they're actually on the Stepheners,
just fully listening in because, you know,
the car actually is time to, yeah,
they're like, Ash and Stephen and Carl's
face timing at full volume.
And then of course, what do they do?
Immediately, run downstairs.
Like, oh my God, you will not believe it just happened.
We're listening at the door and he's talking to some girl.
And she's saying to her to a psychic,
and she's, I live from the beta script and safety.
But she's a scratch, you guys.
And Lauren's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
okay, I'm gonna talk to Carl about this.
So she just like busts in and it's like,
hey, I just wanna say hi to your girl.
She's on FaceTime.
You're the biggest bullshit hours I've ever met.
Why are you on the fucking couch?
Are you on FaceTime?
Is she on FaceTime?
Is she positive?
I'm back and I shouldn't be. is or mom will show you spiel people. Bro, yeah, like I'll say like I tell you how this psychokrends network like you know what? You know, I like you know, I like you have that like you know, I have a psychokrends network
I'm not lady who sings that's what friends are for you know what like she's what he's and you know that you know that car
We're all family, huh?
And Carl's like what I just started talking to her
So I can't pick the shit. She's like what do I lie about what did I lie about what did I lie about let's talk about it
Right now which of course is gonna happen every single time and that's why I will never feel sorry for Lauren in this and everybody needs to stop
You on your car. Let's just point. It's anyone stock these upstairs talking to another girl
No, it was just texting someone the other day when Ashley came in town like why is any but where is air?
Here's the problem so Lauren
No sympathy for Lauren. She's doing this to herself and she keeps trying to fool herself like no
It's like totally normal and like we're not gonna hurt each other and there's like no strings attached
And she's like, Carl Carl Carl Carl. I gave you my soul Carl. At your shadow made Carl
So I have no sympathy for her. She's doing this herself and that's
That's fine, but my issue with Carl and you know Carl could is totally allowed to face how I'm with this woman because he's not in a relationship
She's totally not a relationship, but here's where I have the issues
Which is that he does
Flirt with Lauren a lot and he really like he he he toys with her
He really really does and like she kind of can't get over him because he constantly is
It's like he's he fucks with her and sure it should really be up to
Lauren to handle her, her shit is not on Carl to fix Lauren, but Carl is a flirt and he
does send him some messages and he hides behind semantics.
He is, when did I lie?
When did I lie?
I never lied.
I never said, I never said that like we're together.
I know he didn't.
He didn't, he didn't.
He always said that and he literally said we're not together.
We're just friends and if we hook up, we're just going to be friends. Jeff, that's fine Carl cuz I'm independent. No, no, no, then she has a fit
The throws are titties after those are cake and somebody's face. It's like
Enough like how many times does he have to tell you he's gonna cheat on you carl is trash stay away from trash
Yeah, but then away from the trash and but Lauren is delusional because she's like I really like to Carl like this a genuine friendship
I was like a genuine friendship where did that come from you? You guys aren't friends. You guys never were friends
You guys were always hook up by this. I would love to see you say this about some fat ugly guy because no one with care
I'm telling you so Carl. Yes, he's a pig, but you guys were all using him to yeah, so whatever
So so that now they're all just like downstairs just railing on and Steven's, and they're all like, does he even care about anybody?
I don't even, and he seems like, nope, nope.
Well, he goes nope.
Well, he cares about a meat.
Yeah.
Lindsay's like, peace on meat, get it?
No, shit.
So Lindsay's like, I get that Carl's like shitty
and disgusting and probably gonna give us all some kind of a disease and we're all gonna die for
me, but I don't get Steven's role in this whole mix like what the fuck?
And then Lauren is now like doing her you know Sally Field moment. She's like what hurts the most is that I actually thought
Carl, Carl, Carl, he cared about me as a person as a friend like oh dude as a roommate
As a person who wears ruffles that expose her shoulders as a person who has a twin as a person who
Roll her watermelon urges as a person. I'm just I'm just so mad. I just want to hit somebody. I just want to hit somebody and they're like here
Hit Amanda and now she's like oh I saw from
a mile away he doesn't he's a piece of shit.
I don't care about anything.
He's a shit.
That's that girl who's going to make you because they're going out and they're all standing
outside about to get in the car and she's like oh my god I got a guy like my doll for
the whole.
That's that girl that of course you're going to have to go out with her and listen to her
sob and go to hysterics all night long and then she's gonna go home with Fuck Carl. Yeah, and Kyle even Kyle is turning on Steven now, which you know Kyle is like always the the nice guy
peacemaker and he's like well, he's like Lauren can't get over it because
she's got a voice in her ear that's Steven and the summer house is basically his college and he's just stirring the
Paws during the pot and like that's probably true but at the same time at least he's trying stirring the pot, stirring the pot. And I'm like, that's probably true, but at the same time, at least he's trying to do something
to liven up this season, right?
Like, what are you guys doing?
Yeah, and then later, I'm glad that Steven had this scene
where he was talking to the workers mom.
And he's like, I'm glad I got to talk to you
because I can't talk to my mom
because she doesn't believe in gayness.
And she's like, she doesn't believe in it.
But what the hell, like her mom, he has a really nice scene with them all.
That's really nice.
Where he's crying and talking about just basic depression and sadness and not being able
to be in a relationship and stuff like that.
So I was like, I don't want to say like, so glad to see she even cry.
But it's like, you know, like I felt like felt bad again.
I was like, okay, like I get it.
He's going through stuff.
So they go out in the party, they drink, et cetera, dancing, dancing, fun times,
and then they come back.
And then we see Lauren and Ash in bed, and they're just whispering.
And it's like, that was the final straw for me.
My plan was to do this.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
You did so good.
I'm not going to do it anymore.
It's hot under these covers.
Yeah, I don't want to do my foot out. I'm sick. My whole warm. Oh, my god. Please don't. I'm going camera people are like yep pulled one over on us ladies
So in the morning you just hear
brought us ladies. So in the morning he just here. Steven snoring like Fred Flintstone, which was hilarious. And then Kyle is in the shower and hawks a I'm not sure if I can get it right.
Wow.
It's like how can he fart like that? He had one bite of lasagna. Like what?
It's coming.
It was intense. I don't actually understand how Lauren could survive in that room in the morning. I
Was texting with Trisha while this was playing and she she goes, yeah, I'm watching summer house now because the fast
Lois done. I don't know what the hell's going on. I said, yeah, that summer house and she goes, why is everybody 40?
I said welcome to the problem, bitch
I said, welcome to the problem, bitch.
I love to talk to that sort of question. Why is everybody 40?
Okay, so.
Why is it 40?
So now it's time for Amanda and Kyle's wants to meet.
So we get to meet them both too.
And Jane from New Hampshire, Jane Cook, she's a legend. Oh, talk about
no filters. Her name is Jane. And Amanda Gus, when I bat her, I understood Kyle full circle
if they show a clip of the mom going, what's a motorboat, Kyle?
Jane looks exactly like Kyle. She's like Lady Kyle. Yes, exactly. Yes. And then Amanda's mom looks like she's still 13 years old.
I don't know how she did that, but whatever fish oil you're taking, please tell me about it. Thanks.
Yeah. And by the way, Amanda looks just like her mom too. So it was just like watching some strange, some strange like alternate version of their moms like romance each
other and like hot glue gues in front of each other and showers. What if they had
clips of their moms doing that over at their Maryott?
So they're, uh,
to change your get a scene. Oh wait, are we with the, I'm now I'm at the pool with
Lindsey and Carl. Yeah, that's fine. Oh my god, it's we with the I'm now I'm at the pool with Lindsey and Carl. Yeah, that's fine
Oh my god, it's so windy. I feel like I'm in the woods in a boss and then the house falls on her head
I'm like well that ended that season
Avrat oh my god, this reminds me like Avrat when I was like let's go gambling
Let's go casino. He's like never bet against the house. And like, now there's a house on me.
Everett, it's like us.
So they start talking about the situation.
And he's like, explain the situation.
He's like, well, at this time this girl
and then Lauren opened my door and called me a liar.
You know, it's like that work is from a shingun.
Yeah, but by the way, he's like,
I get a face-time from a girl that I'm friendly with.
And it's like, stop this bolt.
See, it's like, he's just always bullshitting.
Like, it's, no, you're obviously like,
it's, you, okay, you may be friendly with her,
but like, you're flirting with her.
She's like a prospect for you.
You know, it's like, he always is,
he just, Carl just is so Carl.
He's so Carl.
Yeah, he's so Carl.
He's like, he's such a bullshitting artist. He's so good at being, he's so Carl. He's like, he's such a bullshit artist. He's so good at being a bullshit.
And the thing is, he's even in the right in this situation,
but he makes me mad because he can't help but like, you know,
make himself look like, I'm just, you know, I was just sitting there like talking,
just a girl that was friendly with, I just, someone that I happen to know,
she just got my number, I barely even know her at all, you know.
Yeah, it was like dark, so.
You know, but her smalls are best qualities, so that's her best guess. So basically, Lindsay is like, why are you from friends with Steve?
And he's toxic. Basically, she kind of turns on Stephen. And then he's like, well, you know,
like, blah, blah, he starts telling that story. And she goes, you don't even have to tell me.
And then she tells us, like, obviously, I know this story, but like, this is something that ribbons
LADS
LADS
Like I've never said in the army you can't come out of the closet because it's like don't ask don't tell and I'm like ever
You have to be able to ask people and tell people things in our relationship and he's like no I don't and I was like
I've got
She's like melegal my right. She's like I don't know
so and I was like, I rock. She's like, my leg, I'm alright. She's like, I don't know. So, um,
see what the, uh,
oh, I'm sorry, oh my god,
I skipped around a little, sorry.
Uh, so let's go to lunch with Kyle and Amanda and their moms.
So, Kyle's mom was like,
let me ask you something.
Is drinking out of his drop cool
around cool now?
Tell me kids.
Has your sex life.
Um, I like Amanda's mom because I feel like she probably was so fun in the 80s.
Like she's probably that best friend in the 80s movie.
She's like, come on, we gotta go out.
We're gonna see like Madonna tonight.
Are you coming out?
Are you staying in to stay on the phone with Josh?
Oh my god, you're so in love.
All right, I guess I need the Madonna ticket to someone else.
Yeah, she totally is that girl.
And she's really nice to everybody.
And she has those really pretty squinty eyes
like Amanda where she's squinting,
but her mom looks like I kind of hate you.
Yeah, she's just like part of her that's like,
this is not good.
So James, like, whoa, guys, for Carl
to be with a girl this long, I have never seen that he is a man or a, hey, so so can you
leak it out of your vagina, you tell James that through it. And Donna's like, oh, I'm
so honored. Like there's like some sarcasm there, which I really like. And Amanda is like,
look, guys, I got a key to the apartment. And then her mom goes, did you get a drawer
with a toothpaste spot too?
And then Kyle's mom looks at her like,
oh, it's like, yes, mom fight.
Yeah, and Kyle has this look of panic in his face.
Like, dude, I don't have to get another drawer.
Like, I don't even have any drawers from my toothpaste.
Like, oh man, he's just having a spiral about drawers
in his face. There's two face drawers. And. Wait has that been invented yet because I'm getting an
investor. Julius I got this great idea.
Dores for toothpaste.
With Julio. It could even be called Julio's toothpaste drawer. What do you think
about that? He's like take off your underwear and fall asleep on my couch immediately
or getting no money for me. Yeah. Um, so, uh, meanwhile, I should mention that we did have a scene where Danielle called
Steven and I was like, Hey, Steven.
And he's like, Oh, hi, Danielle.
How's it going?
She's like, it's good.
Oh, wait, hold on.
Some man, Candy just walked out the door.
So I got to go, but what's the, what do you talk?
It's try hard.
I'm so sorry, Danielle.
Try hard.
She's like, oh, bogey.
Yeah, and I like that she said some,
what'd she say, would she say again?
Man, Candy just walked out of the door.
He walked out of the door, so I have to go.
So I love that even in her dream story,
she's still chasing a guy out the door.
Yeah.
By the way, did you also notice that there's a commercial
for a watch what happens?
Because Lauren and James Ron and Lauren was sitting in the first seat next to Andy.
I was a little surprised.
I'm like, I didn't know that somehow
she was doing so well that Lauren workers
would get the prime seat ahead of James Kennedy.
Yeah, you go, girl.
And I love that they just matched her up
with another man, or.
Yeah.
Maybe they do that because maybe they,
it's like, you know know they put the ladies closer to
Andy maybe it's like they're balancing it gender wise but I was like hey maybe the show's
doing better than I thought good for some her house well you know what Jane didn't know she didn't
even know french fries were coming okay she's like hey I didn't even know french fries were coming
anyone want fries I didn't even know they were good oh yeah yeah it's perfectly golden
the list delicious crispy fries once some
Don't look back to me to guys. Oh, we're giving her a total Midwest accent. She's really new Hampshire
So yeah, that's my general. That's my general mom accent. It should really be like
like
Let's see if I can get let's see if I can do a new England accent right now my heads got like Midwestern in me right now
I'm totally supportive right here. Okay. Okay. Let's see
Okay I had some got like Midwestern in me right now. I'm totally supportive right here. Okay, okay, let's see.
Okay. So I went down to Harvard and I got some french fries.
You want some french fries guys?
French fries?
Tom Brady?
Tom Brady french fries anyone?
Tom Brady, back to Khan Hapet Yacht.
I'd like to order a side of the fries
I didn't know were coming.
Back at the house, the full work of circus arrived.
Is the full family, this like giant parade of work as family members come in and at the house, the full work of circus arrived. Is the full family, this like giant parade
of work as family members come in
and at the end is the dad.
And the dad is so cute, the door sort of slams up
behind him and he got so alarmed.
He's like, ah, God, wouldn't you be?
I'd be alarmed.
I'd be like if I was a stepdad in the work as family,
I'd still be alarmed at all times.
Like he hasn't had enough time to catch up.
You know, it's like, whoa, whoa. I feel like the doorbell at the work as family, I'd still be alarmed at all times. He hasn't had enough time to catch up. You know, it's like, whoa, whoa. I feel like the doorbell at the work is filming
goes, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl,
and Carl goes up to the dad and he's like, what up, bro? Sorry, that was Tom Sandipoll.
He needs to get out of the set. Like, what up, bro? What up, bro? And the dad's making
bad jokes. He's like, whoa, great house. There, bro, what a bro. And the dad's making bad jokes.
He's like, wow, great house.
There's some of room here for all of us, right?
And Carl just takes a long drink,
because you never know with this family.
Yeah, they would stay there on every single couch in there.
Exactly.
So this is when Dana pulls Steven aside,
and they speak privately.
And it's really nice, because he basically
doesn't have a mom he can talk to.
And she loves being the mom.
Because he's like, thanks have been really, really hard.
He's like, well, you can always speak to me anytime you want.
And it's just like I'm sad.
You can always speak to me.
And I just like, I'm going to like, well, you know what?
You can always speak to me.
I'm like, yeah, love it.
God, no kidding.
Stop trying to mom block the other mom.
We got it.
You're the best mom here.
You make an amazing swirl cake.
We love you.
She's like, look, what I really need in my life. It's another child bitching about Carl
So please feel free to call me whenever you like I love it listen Steven
I always like to say when the duvet guest you ha you just peel it off a little bit and maybe stick your foot out
He's like, thanks
So
That's how it ends right? No, so. So that's how it ends, right?
No, so Carl's talking about how,
let's see, I'm sorry, so Stephen and Dana are talking.
That's what happens.
Right, what happened here?
Stephen's parents are affected the happiness in his life
and she's like, you're amazing.
You'll be an amazing person,
you're gonna be an amazing person,
you'll be amazing, he's like, thanks.
So then Carl wants to talk to Lauren.
Carl goes up to Lauren.
And he's, and because the parents are all back
and he's like, hey, I just wanna say that today,
like based on what happened last night,
I would really like it if we could just like
table the drama because my parents are here.
And Carl really likes.
It's now the best time.
It's now the best time, Carl.
You don't get to come into my room
and tell me what to do, Carl, okay?
Because like, have I ever made an awkward for you, Carl? Have I? Have I? Have I?
Have I? You're the one who makes an awkward. Have I ever made an awkward? He's a cool.
He's like, I guess you don't remember when you put the cake in my face in front of my
non-girlfriend. Carly, or Gina, whatever name was. Or the other day when your sister slammed
a watermelon down. Or it's like just name every episode from the season. Yeah, I'm always on
this. I'm always on my best behavior, Carl, I'm always on my best behavior, Carl.
I'm always on my best behavior, Carl.
Carl, what do you think about my behavior?
Is it good?
You like it?
Because it's my best behavior right now.
Right now.
And he's like, whoa, whatever.
So he goes to tight.
I'm like, I'm like, my name is spring out the helmet, spring out the best, spring out
the work is spring out the best.
That's me right now.
Best behavior.
Well, he goes to tight in his white pants, some more in his own room.
And then she goes into his room and she's like, hey, Carl, by the way, you don't get to tell me like you don't get to tell me you don't get to tell me
I like how to put my best behavior on because my best behavior like good better best
I've a lot of rest because you're better and you better your best have you heard that one girl because guess what I am that
God so many rhymes
That's a lot to take in just cheers. Cheers. So
So she leads and then Carl's mom comes in.
She's like drunk basically and she's like,
I don't know if I'm just like drunk, I've had too many,
but and then she just starts to cry.
And it's so sad this moment.
She's going through divorce.
She probably still loves this guy.
Her heart's probably broken and I feel bad.
I feel bad.
And like, and I was was actually feeling something for Carl,
because he's being so comforting and being so strong to her.
And she's like, it's just hard, it's just hard.
And he goes, you know, it's not hard.
Call it do my mom.
I'm like, you know, a Carl, you just like,
why it was such a nice scene.
It was such a nice scene.
Hey, you know what?
She's literally here, mom.
So it's actually one of the easiest words to say.
It's why I baby say it first. Wow, wow. He's like, uh, you know, it's not hard calling
water. Well, wow. Um, this show is very talented at making me mad at people and then making
me instantly feel for them right after they've made me mad because that happened with multiple
people on the show, even Lindsay, who's a dodo bird is sitting with that round
And she's like okay, I'm gonna check you in online. Do you have any rocket ships?
No, do you have any fireworks? I got you kid. Oh my god
Then you can't go on the plane. No, you can't go on the plane cuz I'm not coming with you. Oh, ah
And basically
That's where we ended.
Thank God, because you know, Lindsay read every one of those
hazardous material warnings that they give you.
I know.
I got a check in a bag.
How about two bags?
How about three bags?
We're traveling with a child.
Do you have any special requests?
Do you need a kosher meal?
Do you have any special requests? Do you need a kosher meal? Giovanni lithium batteries.
I love Nirvana.
Oh my god, what a fun week. That brings us to the end of L summer house.
We did it. Only an hour and six minutes. What is wrong with us?
I was gonna try to go. I was gonna try to do something
very summer housey. I was gonna try to go to beginners yoga today. It started 22 minutes
ago. So guess what? Not happening. Good. Okay. Just reach up to this guy there you
did it. That's a big image. I've been to be good. Thank you. It's a glorious step on
moment. I knew we could do it. The hardest part of yoga, beginner's yoga, any yoga
really. So they're like, okay, sit on the floor and sit on moment. I knew we could do it. The hardest part of yoga, being in any yoga really is when they're like,
okay, sit on the floor and sit up straight. I'm like, oh my God. Are you trying to do hard?
It's so hard to sit and have good posture. When I sit, I want to just like curl over.
Yeah. I am. That's what I'm doing right now. Look, I just sat up. Do I sound different?
Yeah. I want to make myself look like a tea kettle.
So like, I'm a little kettle shortens. I'm a little teapot, shortens out, I'm just like,
yeah, that's what I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, if you reorient the tea kettle,
that's what I am. If you like, turn it around, like, I'm not the hands teakettle,
I'm like, my back is the top of the tea kettle, I'm the handle. Anyway, it's not really worth it.
I bet Moodler, I bet M I bet middle posture
Okay, sign it off then I don't know if I I don't know if I even can anymore you guys
Thank you so much hope to see all of y'all at our
Well our live show is watchrocrafted.com for that. We
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