Watch What Crappens - Talking Camille Grammer, Atlanta, OC, and Shahs
Episode Date: March 27, 2012Talking Camille Grammer, Atlanta, OC, and ShahsSee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https:/.../art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a weekly podcast about all the crap that we love on Bravo.
I'm Ben Mandelker from B-SideBlog.com and with me this week, as always, is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. Hi Matt.
Hey Ben, thanks for having me.
No problem. You don't have to thank me, you're a co-host.
Oh, well then I'm taking it back.
Yeah, take it back.
Take it back tonight.
But you know who should thank us is Lisa Timmons, who is here as our special guest tonight.
Hi, Lisa.
Hi, Ben and Matt.
Yes, I have no right to be here, so I'm very appreciative.
Thanks, guys.
You have every right to be here because you watch the same wonderful Bravo shows that we do.
And Lisa and I do another podcast called Banter with Ben and Lisa.
And so that's where Lisa's from. Yeah, that's where I was born. Yeah, she was born for the podcast.
Our audio is a little weird today, so apologies in advance. But as long as you can hear our
words, then that's all that matters. Apologies in advance for all of you tuning in for this
technical excellence. We have so much to discuss today.
We actually have a huge amount.
We're just going to run down this real quickly.
We've got some gossip up at the top of the show here.
Then we're going to go into Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Orange County,
Shaz's Sunset, and then Jeff Lewis's Interior Therapy.
So, all right, let's jump right into it.
First, the big news. Matt, why don't you
tell us about the big news coming from the Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills? I am actually
a little choked up right now and I'm wearing a veil.
Are you guys in all black?
I'm actually sitting shiva.
Thank God
for that. So, the breaking
news, which was actually breaking news
yesterday, but it's still
heavy on my heart.
Camille Grammer is officially leaving
the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Bravo is confirming it. She's confirming
it. We believe that they were
not able to come to an
amicable agreement on the dollar
bills, and
Camille is gone.
I'm devastated because I loved her in season two.
Talk about the biggest turnaround of all time in the Housewives. Camille Grammer. I mean devastated because I loved her in season two. Talk about the biggest turnaround of all time in the house was.
Camille Grammer.
I mean, come on now.
I really liked her.
I was like, you know, I can't remember if it was on this podcast or somewhere else where maybe it was Ronnie actually who was talking about how she was being more pandering the second season.
You know what?
I like being pandered too.
And you know what?
I like being pimp too.
I mean, there's no doubt that she had like a massive PR stunt with season two.
Because season one, she was the villain of all villains.
But you know what?
She actually really does seem like a nice lady.
She really does seem like a good mother, a good friend.
And it's going to be a really bizarro show without her.
Because, you know, when they lose house members, it's a big deal.
It is.
But I don't think it will be bizar bizarre because the truth is she didn't have a huge
role this season. You know, she had a few scuffles,
she has a few interactions with Taylor,
but it wasn't like the way she was season one.
And there's a part of me that wonders if it's sort of
like that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza
makes the whole conference room laugh
and then he just leaves. So sort of like, Camille's like,
you know what, everyone loves me right now,
I'm just gonna get out of here, you know,, you know what? She's leaving on a high note. Everyone loves me right now. I'm just going to get out of here
while everyone likes me.
She is leaving on a high note,
but then what I was getting at
is that she was an ally for Lisa.
And right now,
Lisa is up against Adrian.
She's up against Kyle, kind of.
And she's up against Taylor, kind of.
So for her to lose her biggest ally
is not good.
Here's the thing, though.
I think Taylor, first of all, Taylor is always about a breath away from just being 100% of Lisa's ass.
Yeah.
Taylor and Kyle are so wishy-washy that really all it takes is one afternoon tea at Lisa's and they'll be all back up her butt.
And also, let's not forget that Lisa has the power of about six housewives in her. She may be
one, but she's like the Voltron of housewives.
She's made of many other housewives
put together. You can never underestimate
Lisa. One Lisa versus the four of them,
not a problem. Okay, well
let's talk about, you know, moving
on from that, but what is going to happen
with the cast now? There's
not necessarily a vacancy. We have
other shows like Jersey and OC
that survive
with just five women,
but does this now
pave the way
for Brandi Glanville
to become a full-timer?
Or what about
Dana Wilkie,
dare I say?
I don't think Brandi's
going to ever be
a full-time housewife.
I think she will be
the Heather Locklear
guest star,
perennial guest star.
Yes.
But she's, you know,
Bravo has a history
of if you are a friend of the Housewives, you never
get up to real Housewives.
Yeah, just look at Kim G.
Yeah, Kim G.
Don't you think they could break the mold with this one?
Fans loved Brandi more than
they ever loved a friend of a
Housewife before. She would definitely
spice it up. I think that's the thing with Kim G.
You know what? Brandi does not come
off as wanting it so
bad that she seems
desperate to break in. Yeah. Of course
compared to Kim G, no one
looks like they're wanting it that bad.
Except Dana. Oh, Dana.
But Dana is sort of like... Dana's the
Kim G of the group. She's just...
But Dana's special. Dana is special.
I've grown to love my Dana.
Oh yeah. Wasn't it during the reunion where you really got to like her?
She was amazing during the reunion.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You pointed that out.
She shook Lisa up by saying, I'm sorry, but your dog wears $25,000 outfits.
Shut up.
She also said during the reunion, I'm the kind of guy that goes out and likes to drink,
but I'm the kind of guy that likes to hang out with girls.
It's like, you're not a guy.
Well, maybe that's why her husband, our fiancé, just recently left her, rumor has it.
Oh, or maybe it's also because of her crazy personality.
Or maybe it's because that guy never really existed.
Do we ever have a confirmation about that?
I was just going to ask, did they ever show him on the show?
Maybe he's kind of like that girlfriend that I had in Canada before I came out.
Oh my god, that's so cute.
A girlfriend in Canada.
In Georgia, the euphemism we used was a girlfriend in Atlanta.
Sorry, are you telling me that Inuit girl was not real?
But you said she was from the Bourbon territories.
I had grown so fond of Nanook.
So you and Celine, that wasn't real?
It was all a charade.
Anywho, we could easily talk about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills without nausea because we're obsessed with those ladies, but we need to keep moving on.
So, we also did see a preview for the Real Housewives of New Jersey, which is coming back very soon.
Yeah, when I saw that, I had no idea that this preview was about to come into my life.
And I was so excited.
I was beyond excited.
I don't even, I would have flipped three tables over, Teresa style.
They make it look like someone's getting murdered.
They do that every season, though.
That's true, that's true.
Did you hear rumors about something about, like, Danielle Staub rejoining the cast or something like that?
Or coming back to wreak havoc?
No, but you just made my horrible days
so much better. Oh, I would love that.
That would be great. But you know, this season is going to be
phenomenal. Last season was
so epic in its scope.
I know it's hard to say that about a real
housewives show, but it was epic in its family
drama. I can't even imagine
now that Caroline has switched from the
dark side, she's come to the light. I can't even imagine now that Caroline has switched from the dark side, she's come to the light.
I can't wait. Caroline
and Kathy allied together.
I mean, it's just unstoppable.
It's the ice blue
eyes alliance.
Isn't it really going to be everybody
against Teresa the entire
season? That's what it looks like.
Yeah, I think so.
I think that she's going to get beat down on a weekly basis
and frankly, I'm looking forward
to it. Yeah, I've been waiting
three years for this. Four years
for Teresa, for people to realize
that she is a heinous
awful wreck.
No, go ahead.
I was going to say,
you haven't been watching Celebrity Apprentice, have you, Ben? I have. I haven't seen this week yet, go ahead. Go ahead. I was going to say, or you have any, either of you, you haven't been watching celebrity apprentice.
Have you been,
um,
I have,
I haven't seen this week yet though,
but she's kind of like,
she's been really like very low key.
I think she's playing it smart.
I mean,
she's playing low key.
Cause I think that she's actually going to go to the end with like clay.
Oh my God.
No,
Teresa going to the end with no,
no,
no.
She'll,
she'll,
she'll have her moments and she will fail miserably
when that moment comes. Has she been
project leader yet?
I don't believe so because I don't think that
that would go well. Yeah, I can't imagine.
That's what I'm waiting for.
That's where the money is going to be.
Totally. She won't be earning
money, but the money for us. Yes.
The metaphorical money. Oh my god, but here we are
going off on Celebrity Apprentice.
I'm just excited for New Jersey.
I'm really, I think this franchise is in such a good place right now.
I mean, Bravo in general is doing nicely.
Now, Matt, you were telling us something about the Bravo upfronts that are happening soon.
Yes.
It was just announced today that more than 35 Bravo celebrities are going to be uniting
on stage for an official
Watch What Happens Live All-Star Party,
and that's going to air on Wednesday, April
4th, and it's all part of
NBC's Upfront events, and it's
going to be out of control. We're going to have Kathy
Griffin, Padma, Tom,
Jeff Lewis, Bethany Frankel, Tabitha,
and then they're also going to do a lot of weird things
during this episode where they're
going to have, like, cook-offs.
And they might even have, like, multiple singers.
And I use singers very loosely when I say that.
From the different Housewives franchises.
Maybe doing, like, a We Are the World.
Oh, my God.
I love it.
Special song.
If you go onto YouTube, you can find a video presentation from, like, a 1986.
It wasn't the upfronts, but it was an NBC sort of like
anniversary special and they had
like Nell Carter and
Bea Arthur and some of the other sitcom stars
all singing We Are A Family
from Dreamgirls. That is awesome.
It is amazing. This really
cheap 80s set and I'm like
that's what I want out of this Bravo special.
Those are the kind of expectations
that you have.
If this Bravo special really were
special, though, I mean, my favorite
thing as a child growing up, and
even predated my existence, but
Battle of the Network Stars was the
greatest thing in television history, and if
they would only do Battle
of the Housewives stars,
it's a six-week special where they'd be all in bikinis and doing whitewater rafting and
painting.
That would be the highest rated TV special ever.
Well, you know what?
I have to say, I agree with you 100%.
My thread and the way they should do it is they should do it Amazing Ray style.
Because I don't know if the Housewives would be down for, or even Bravo would be down for, like, a real
road rules challenge thing where they're, like,
jousting or, like, on
cables or whatever, but I could see
all the housewives
in different cars racing across
the country, you know? That would be amazing.
Is that an all-run style? Yeah, I think that would be
and you could have challenges along the way.
Like the Laugh Olympics.
Yes! Could Gina come back to play the Dom DeLuise character? and you can have challenges along the way. Like the Laugh Olympics. Yes.
Could Gina come back to play the Dom DeLuise character?
I think that's what she's been doing.
I think she's been touring the country playing her one-woman Dom DeLuise tribute play.
That would be amazing.
I would be excited for that.
I'm excited about everything.
Are you excited for Kim Zolciak's new baby?
Because girlfriend is pregnant again.
Girlfriend is locking
that shit down.
Yeah, she is, Megan Shora.
Kroy ain't going nowhere.
I want to see the battle of the Zolciak
children, because at a certain point,
Brielle and Ariana are going to realize
that they are the two golden children
from What's-His-Face, from Croy,
and then there's them.
They're going to realize, wait a second,
why did we suddenly get moved out to the woodshed
out back? Why don't we have
giant black and white portraits of us?
Why are we getting fed porridge?
You know that in like three years
Brielle is going to drop out of high school
and not make it to college, and she and Sweetie
are going to have a run down apartment next to
Peter's Bar in the drives of ATL.
Oh my god, you're right.
And Ashley from Real Houses of New Jersey
is going to come and live with them. Off Cheshire Bridge Road.
Lisa throwing some serious
Georgia geography. I'm throwing a little ITP
shit right in there. Right in the mix.
Well, let's get right into Atlanta then. Real Houses of Atlanta.
This past episode, you know, it was okay.
Yeah, there was not that much controversy.
Yeah, I think the big thing of the episode
was that Phaedra threw an absolutely ridiculous
naming ceremony for Aiden.
This is on the heels of last week
when she threw a 12-cake tasting for Aiden
at a water park.
I'm still getting over,
who could eat all that damn cake?
Clearly, it was just a sampling,
and they were going to serve the rest of the guests, I imagine.
Guess what?
Sheree hated that cake partying ways,
but she was like,
I am not going to this goddamn naming ceremony.
Yeah.
You know what?
Sheree doesn't have to go to that naming ceremony.
No, no. So there are a lot of things.
Sheree's named plenty of things.
She's like, well, I've got to go there.
Is there a poet on a helicopter?
She had a fashion show that she had to curate.
So there were a lot of things to talk about with this thing.
So first of all, they carded in Aiden on, I don't know the proper term for one of those things.
I'm like, I want to see a rickshaw, but that's not right.
It was a palace?
What was it? A palace?
No, dais is where you all sit at.
I forget what those... Divan, maybe? No, that's a couch.
No, it's a... Madonna would know.
Madonna would know.
It looked like a baby coffin. I'm saying it.
Oh my god, it was really weird.
She would.
It's usually reserved for, I think, people in India being transported from elephant to temple or something like that.
Or Madonna in the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
So Peter, one of the few funny things that he's ever said was that he said it was like the –
Coming to America.
Yeah.
And it was kind of right.
And we're like, hey, look at you having a personality.
Who knew? Who knew? and it was kind of right and we're like hey look at you having a personality who knew who knew
and then of course
there were these
you know
these ridiculous photos
of Aiden in a throne
you know
which Phaedra claimed
was going to give
bring some elegance
to the procession
I love whenever
they have a photo shoot
which is
I love when she was
trying to say
pomp and circumstance
and she did not know
what the hell it meant
what she said it.
She probably thinks that means streamers.
Exactly.
Or a bakery in Atlanta.
So we have this whole elaborate thing.
So Cynthia and Peter.
You know what I was missing?
Cake.
Don't think there was enough cake.
I don't know.
I only saw one cake.
Cake. Don't think there was enough cake.
I don't know. I only saw one cake.
Can I also get one thing here?
Because back to the birthday party at the water park,
which was notorious for also being in the sticks,
and by the sticks I mean at least four hours outside of the city.
Can Phaedra, who claims to be a baller,
not afford to do events in the ATL because she actually needs to take it an hour or two outside because it's a third of the price.
It's a lot cheaper in Gainesville.
And also, I think Gainesville is like between Athens and Atlanta.
Or it's like...
Lisa's from Georgia, in case anyone's wondering.
Oh, yeah.
But I'm throwing out some Georgia geography.
I'm not 100% sure, but Gainesville is very small.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've heard they have a tremendous water park.
That's what they tell me.
With many cake facilities.
I love how she was so excited.
She was like, yes, you know, we spared no expense.
Cut to this sign just kind of slapped on the side of the bus of Aiden.
It was just like printed out on like an old Epson printer dot matrix.
You know, so also what was significant about the water park and this thing was that we It was just printed out on an old Epson printer, dot matrix.
Also, what was significant about the water park and this thing was that we had the resurrection of Dwight.
Oh, my God. Who looks probably one of the scariest images we've seen of him ever was in this week's episode,
where he was wearing these crazy high-waisted white pants and a white hat that looked like a little bell on top of his head.
He looked like a little, like you said, a little chocolate.
A little chocolate, you know, that you get at Christmas time.
Do you not also think that he's looking a little extra emaciated?
Yes.
Yeah, I think he's on the way out.
I think he's not eating any cake.
Yeah, I think he doesn't know what's what anymore.
I think Dwight is, Dwight's in a whole different world.
I don't understand what goes on in Dwight's head.
And I don't understand what goes on in Dwight's head, to I don't understand what goes on Dwight's head, to be frank.
Some of his hats just make no sense.
I feel like he's starting to look a lot like Cynthia.
So now that's the other thing.
So we have this naming thing.
Cynthia and Peter get there 10 minutes early and want to congratulate themselves for being prompt for the first time ever.
They're there, and they're talking about how they can't believe that everyone else is late,
and this is such an important event, da-da-da-da-da.
Do we not remember that at Kim and Kroy's wedding shower
or baby shower, they showed up three and a half hours late for that?
Do you remember that?
Well, yeah, and then he also started getting into a fight with Apollo
and was acting a fool and being all tacky and classless
like he really is. And so then when
Kim showed up late,
then they got on there.
They're like, well, she showed up two hours late to this thing.
It was almost over. You guys showed up
three and a half hours late at the end of her
thing, you know? Look, her man
just got back from being away for 30
days at football camp. She needed to
get her swerve on.
They clearly had sex in the drive-thru of Chick-fil-A.
That's what that means.
And I'm a little jealous.
You know what?
And I think Cynthia is too, if I'm being honest.
If you look at the body language between Cynthia and Peter, it is so just, there's nothing there.
There's no love.
There's no love there.
And he's also a huge dick.
I mean, this is something that we talk about every week that he's a dick but it's like further evidence for the case is
the fact that um you know croy and kim were being exceptionally cold you got to give some props to
cynthia she was making an effort to be friendly yes and when when croy was very cold peter just
got up and left and then later on i couldn't tell if it was clear that croy just didn't hear him
yeah it could have been the editing it could have been the editing Croydus seems like a guy who just
avoids confrontation
He's from Montana
Even though he plays football which is a very confrontational sport
But you know what?
To my point
It sounds like a deal
He doesn't need to be walking around
bumping chests like old Peter
What the deal was is
What Kim told Croydus obviously upset him and he has to have his wounds back need to be walking around bumping chest like old Peter. No, what the deal was is, Kim, what
Kim told Troy obviously upset
him, and he has to have his woman's back, and I
honestly believe as crazy
as a fucking crazy nut
as Kim is, he does love her,
and I do think that he was going to throw
some shade back at them, because
Cynthia's remark kind of had some
racial undertones when she was in Africa.
The way it was interpreted, because we were watching the footage, and I think it was harmless.
Yeah.
And nobody wants to own up exactly to what they said, because nobody can really remember.
Yeah, Cynthia, I mean, at the end of the day, I don't remember.
But I think you're absolutely right.
You know what it just proves?
That Croy's the better man to his wife, because he's smart.
He knows that at the end of the day, who's he going to be sleeping next to?
Yeah.
And Peter does not do stuff like that.
He doesn't stick by his woman.
Exactly.
Because Peter, so when she was like, he was like, I don't want to have to listen to this stuff.
It's like, no, you're supposed to stay by your woman's side and defend her and be there for her.
Yeah.
He has such a low life.
We hate him.
We hate him. He really low life. We hate him.
He really is terrible.
And he probably opened up a new bar when he said he was going out
and stalking the pastor. He was opening up a new bar, spending $10,000.
And then he would come back and go,
Oh, Cynthia, by the way, I need to borrow a check
for 10 grand.
She's like, well, sorry, I have my own failed business
to attend to.
If she was smart, she would shut down her fake modeling agency
that clearly has no business.
There are too many clients.
You can't do that.
Pack her bags
and move to France
with her sister.
Oh, no kidding.
And we were saying before,
why is Mal hanging around here?
Her husband lives in France.
Go to France and just enjoy it.
Why would you be back in Atlanta?
Just sit there
and have some croissants
and some whatever caviar.
That's my view of France.
Croissants and caviar.
That's what they do there.
Silence.
We killed it.
I'm just still thinking about
waffle fries and having sex after some
Chick-fil-A. I'm a little busy.
With Croy?
Not with Croy. I don't like Croy like that.
Oh, but not on Sunday.
Yeah, not on Sunday.
They're not open Sunday.
Oh, yeah.
Neither are I.
Oh!
Hey-oh!
There was something I was going to say about Kim.
Let's make sure we're not missing anything.
Oh, I was going to say something about Kim.
Oh, well, that's the thing.
So when Kim confronted Cynthia about it all,
Cynthia, she really, all Cynthia had to say was,
what she sort of said eventually was,
look, you know, I didn't really mean it in a racist way.
I was just sort of saying something funny.
I really didn't mean it to be offensive.
When they played back the footage, it did,
I mean, it seemed really harmless to me.
Yeah, she should have been like, look, you know,
when it gets told to you by one or two people,
it's going to become more dramatic sounding and evil.
It was really benign, you know?
But then she just, instead, she just denied saying it,
which is hilarious because there was another episode or another time when she admitted to saying it.
Yeah.
So it's like, I mean, you're caught on camera.
But don't we all just admit, like,
I just wish these dummies would just sit around
and just all admit, like, you know what?
All of us are uptight snobs,
and I don't envision any
of us ever going to South Africa.
We're going to an orphanage in our Louboutins.
Or wouldn't maybe they think
at some point, after enough of these games
of telephone have been played,
that they'd think, you know what? Someone
probably misinterpreted this.
You know? I mean, of course, that's
asking a lot of Kim to have some sort of, like,
higher comprehension.
Well, how about earlier when you suggested that Cynthia use the word benign with her?
Yeah.
Bitch, are you saying I have cancer?
Yeah.
Yeah, Kim is, you gotta use your baby words with Kim.
Yeah.
That's all she knows.
Unless it's medical terminology, because she's a nurse.
She's a nurse.
She has a certificate, people.
Don't talk shit about her. It's from New
Rhode Island, right?
Connecticut. Connecticut.
It's from her dad. It's like he wrote it
and put it on the refrigerator when she was a kid. She's like,
well, I'm now a nurse. I got a sexy nurse costume.
I'm open for business. You know, just because
you dress up as a nurse for Halloween doesn't
make you accredited to be a nurse.
Just saying. I don't know if that was
the proper use of accredited, but that's okay.
That's okay.
Can we talk about Sheree also?
She scared that poor boy.
So her
potential future son-in-law,
her daughter's boyfriend,
wanted to propose, and they went
to check out this venue. First of all, they looked at rings
for like $40,000. This poor kid.
Well, they bumped it back to six grand.
Yeah, eventually.
They go to a venue and he basically says, we need some booze because I need to be drunk, you know.
Which is just his way of saying he's going to be nervous.
And then Charade leaps on top of him.
Well, not literally.
And then starts going on about like, you know, you should be sober and you shouldn't be hesitant.
I mean, he did say, I don't know if I want to do this or whatever.
Well, I think that, first of all, the poor guy, he started off on the wrong foot.
I guessed immediately what he had done wrong because Ben was telling, because I asked Ben, oh, is she, because I know the South.
Yeah.
And these ladies are very, they're not all 100% traditional, but the parents still want to be talked to before you ask. Yeah. And these ladies are very, they're not all 100% traditional, but the parents still want to be talked to before you ask.
Yeah.
And I knew that the way, the kind of mother that Sheree is, if he didn't come to her either before.
With 12 cakes.
With 12 cakes.
In a water park in Gainesville, Georgia.
And come to her first.
And honestly, I kind of feel like that probably put her off so badly
that for the rest of the time,
she was trying to make him jump through these crazy hoops.
Are you suggesting that his dead front tooth
did not put her off more?
Oh, my God.
We were talking earlier about what he said.
He was saying he's like, well, I don't want...
When he eventually said he was not going to ask
Tiara to marry him, you know, he was like,
well, I got to, like, make sure everything's all right.
I got to take care of my feeling. And I wasn't's alright. I've got to take care of my filling.
I wasn't sure if he said, I've got to take care
of my feelings or his filling.
There's no filling
there because the tooth be dead.
No, I think it's a cap. It's a silver
cap. I can't ever get a good
look at it. I can't tell. I've got to get a good look at it.
He knows how to cover it up. He's pretty sly, that one.
He knows what's up.
I think Tierra just scared him away. Yeah. She's pretty sly, that one. He knows what's up. I think Sheree just scared him away.
Yeah.
Well, she tends to do that.
I would be scared if I was marrying into Sheree's family.
If Sheree was going to be my mother-in-law, that would be scary.
I mean, she's so...
I understand where she's coming from.
I really do like Sheree.
I think she went about it the wrong way, but I understand the idea of, you know, this extravagance and this money because she, because she's, she equates this over the top spending with security and love.
And she does, the last thing she wants is something to happen to her baby where she's left in the same situation that, you know, that she was in.
But I think she's going about it the wrong way.
She's trying to have it be this overcompensation. I can't believe that Sharae or any of these housewives she's going about it the wrong way. She's trying to have this overcompensation.
I can't believe that Sheree or any of these housewives would ever
approach a situation the wrong way.
I can't believe I'm talking about this like this is serious shit.
I know. I just noticed that you were
getting really serious. What is wrong
with us? Okay, let's lighten up the mood
a little bit. I need some cake!
Why don't we move on to
the real housewives of Orange County? How do we feel about that?
Does anyone have anything to say about Atlanta?
Any final words?
The only final thing I would want to say is that when Bryson is, like, in two more years, Bryson should run away.
Yeah, no shit.
That's not Bryson.
Bryson is the one that's in and out of jail.
This is Brent.
Brent.
Yeah, he should run away.
Yeah.
He should both run away because Nini is a horrible mother. The end. Yeah. Yeah, he should run away. Yeah. Because Nini is a horrible mother.
The end. Yeah. Yeah.
Nini, who kept on saying, like, aren't you sad
that we don't live in the same house together? He's like, I'm alright.
But aren't you sad?
Don't you hate that our family's falling apart
and the only thing constant in your life
is my bangs? And I love how she's like, you know,
we all deserve to be happy.
We all deserve to be happy.
Except you. Except you.
She is, like, funny, and we used to love her on the show.
She is the most selfish woman ever.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, she does deserve to be happy.
But don't start... I don't think that's something you should tell your kid, because then the kid's going
to be thinking, but what about me?
I'm not happy with you guys split up.
Yeah.
She's just...
She's just...
She's become so
selfish.
At least we're seeing more of it now.
It's like going to a party and getting only
one cake and the host takes the other
eleven.
That's how I feel.
We all know what that feels like.
Terrible.
Speaking of other mothers,
let's go to OC and let's talk about
Vicky and Brianna. Okay, V go to OC. Let's talk about Vicky
and Brianna.
Vicky is worse. Let's just get rid of her.
Oh my god. How about, I don't think it was this
past episode, but the episode where they're driving
to her surgery
and Vicky's just like
when it finally reaches the point
where she says to Brianna, look, talk to me
when you have a child.
You are the worst. You officially bumped into worst mother ever. But to be fair, I did like the way that
she doted on Brianna. After Brianna had this horrific surgery, Brianna went home and Vicky
was annoying, but she was doting on her daughter, which, you know, is more than you can say
for maybe Jim Bellino for what he did to Alexis,
which is that he basically just hired a nurse and was like, see you later.
Oh, he was hysterical.
He was just like, ha ha.
Well, you know, and we were talking about this right before the podcast.
Bravo is so clever sometimes. Sometimes.
The way they, sometimes, and sometimes they're not clever, but they, the way they cross cut
between Brianna's very, very serious surgery and Alexis' elective nose job.
Which, by the way, I feel like her nose looks different.
Not necessarily better.
Just different.
I like how she looked like Darkman after it was all done.
With her big sunglasses and a little fedora and she had this big bandage around her face.
Yes, she's still rocking a juicy, comfortable sweatsuit
and a phone.
I know.
That's all she knows.
Yeah, but what was it?
The two giant surgical gloves
that had water in them
and they were ice.
And it's all on her face.
She's like,
I don't know if I'm afraid.
And her husband's
just laughing at her.
Yeah, feeding her carrots
and baby food.
I don't know.
And Brianna, you know,
Brianna didn't have
didn't seem to have a nurse there for her. She's a little trooper. She is a little trooper. I don't know. And Brianna, you know, Brianna didn't seem to have a nurse there
for her. She's a little trooper. She is a little
trooper, right? I love her. Do you guys think that there's
any possibility of her becoming an
official cast member, like a new housewife?
You know what? She's got too much
common sense. She's the only one. She'd never do it, yeah.
Yeah, she'd never do it. We'd love her
too, but she'd never do it. And also, the sad truth
about Brianna is that she doesn't
have, she's good as a supporting character,
as a good counterpoint to her mother. She does not
have enough personality to be her own
woman. I just think, it's not that
I don't, I don't, it's not that I don't think she doesn't have
personality. I think she's just not a bitch.
Like, she's nice. She's a nice girl.
She doesn't have, like, a TV personality. You know what? I actually want
her to have a spinoff where it's her and a few
other girlfriends in their mall. It's a reality
show about them being nurses in the O no no because last season there was one episode where
she and a friend went to vegas and they had the most boring vegas it's because they say off the
script no no they were like they like went they went to like a restaurant and they smoked mojoco
and they did a few shots and then they like went to bed and i was like
from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ramsey and i'm consciously what do most
people think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk
february black history exactly exactly there are so many stories of black history that we just Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about,
especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that.
Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.
In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some.
As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.
Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.
Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Black is beautiful.
Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List,
Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret
underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends
to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost?
Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.
Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
Where's the shippers?
You know who knows how to do Vegas?
Shazza Sunset.
Oh, yeah.
But we'll get to that in a moment.
We will get to Shazza Sunset in a moment.
But in the meantime, also, so Tamara, she got her breasts reduced,
or she wants to get her breasts reduced.
Oh, I love how she said she wants to have more age-appropriate breasts.
Don't we also love how she kind of made it seem like it's Simon's fault that she has big breasts?
Yeah, I actually did like that.
That was part of the spousal abuse.
He made me get breast implants.
Everything is, it's all Simon's fault.
You know, I kind of liked her sticking it to Simon.
Because the thing is this, I mean, as wretched as she is, he's really a piece of work.
Yeah, he makes me terrible.
If she can brag about bed one more time.
What'd you say?
He's way worse than she ever is.
Oh, yeah. So if she can, you know,
besmirch him one more time, hey,
why the hell not? Did she have the tattoo
laser removed yet? No, but she
talked about the possibility
of getting some skin
graft over it from her breasts, but the doctor
was like, no, I don't think that's going to work.
I just think she should see Dr. Will, Dr.
Tatoff, her big brother. Yeah, she should.
She should see Dr. Tatoff.
And then the other big thing of the episode
was that Heather has decided that
she wants to open up a restaurant with her girlfriends,
and it's going to be
six girlfriends without any agreement,
and it's all going to work out great. That's going to
be awesome. That's a spaz right great. That's going to be awesome.
That's a reality show right there.
Okay, look, I hate Vicky probably more than anybody at the moment just because
she is a terrible mother.
I love me my Rihanna.
Vicky redeemed herself this past
week when she was kind of talking
smack right in front of Heather's face like,
this restaurant idea,
yeah, it's dumb. And you're dumb.
It is actually truly dumb. And then Heather was
all upset. Heather brought
in Vicky to get Vicky's opinion, and then
of course Vicky gives it, and Heather
was none too happy about it.
But that's because, you know,
she clearly has this dumb side of her that
thinks that she can... Look, Vicky's the only one who works.
She has a job.
She teaches people on cruise ships how to have
jobs. Okay, but I
again, I cannot
state my hatred for her more.
However, I do think that she's
the only one that works. I mean, the truth of the
matter is, she's a successful
businesswoman. Well, Heather was a successful
actress, and she was in Big Band,
and she did comedy. I totally recognize
Heather, actually, from Jenny McCarthy's short-lived sitcom. actress and she was in big band comedy I totally recognize Heather actually from
this it did from Jenny McCarthy's short-lived sitcom if you if you sleep
around you can get jobs in Hollywood if you sleep around can you really end up
with your own insurance agency I don't think so
you'd be surprised how do you think all state started it's used to be called all
slut I don't know.
I actually really like Heather a lot
and I like her husband a lot, but
I hate her. This idea is
so ridiculous. I mean, it's so
risky.
It's just, it sounds like a flimsy
plot device. Bravo
throughout there. Yeah, I think she's been getting
some career advice from Peter Thomas.
And who wants to bet that it's going to end up
looking like a
Grand Lux Cafe with an Italian
twist. I was going to say, it's going to be like
the Elephant Bar or something like that.
It's going to look exactly like the inside
of all of those Nasty Chain restaurants
that sold their look from
the Monte Carlo in Las Vegas.
Exactly, like a Tuscan-inspired.
I mean, clearly, we're all going.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, that is clearly the way this is all, where this is going.
The direction of the set.
Well, you know, what they're going to do is, you know, I think if you're going to start
out in the restaurant industry, and I speak as someone who has zero perspective on this,
but I feel like if you're going to start, start with, like, a small, tiny little restaurant
that has, like, 20 tabletops or something like that.
Have you seen a fucking house then?
She doesn't do small.
Well, that's her problem.
That's why.
And the truth is this.
In Orange County, I don't think they do small restaurants either.
I think she should open a club in Atlanta.
She should call it Bar One.
And then she'll put her next to Taz.
Oh my God.
Maybe it could also be a modeling agency.
Yeah, that's so perfect.
Although, the truth is, that's a recipe for disaster, because who wants models eating?
Who wants models from Atlanta?
Nobody.
Excuse me, Atlanta's the next fashion capital of the world behind the OC.
I totally forgot.
How dare I?
How dare you?
The Bailey agency is turning away people at the door.
Okay, before we move on, I need to ask you guys about Gretchen and her potential role as a pussycat doll.
First of all, I didn't know they were still doing that.
Yeah, they are.
Do people care anymore?
No.
Well, I think that, like, German businessmen that maybe fly over to Vegas for some work, and by work I mean
prostitutes, might be interested.
I could see Gretchen doing well with the German
businessmen. Yeah, but what do you think the German
businessmen might say? They might say,
Gretchen,
shake that ass.
How do you say that
in German? Shaken das ass?
Wage dein, dein Arsch.
Bewege dein Arsch.
Clearly I'm just trying
to get Lisa to speak German.
He obviously loves it.
The fact that Matt
said German businessman,
I was like,
oh good,
Lisa's gonna talk German.
The funny thing is
whenever I think of
German businessman,
I think of hostile.
Oh.
Oh yeah.
I love how we all got scared.
I know.
You know,
guess what?
You know,
I saw about 20 minutes of hostile when I was in Prague. I was like, wait a second. I think this movie takes place in Prague. I love how we all got scared. I know. You know, guess what? You know, I saw about 20 minutes of Hostel when I was in Prague.
I was like, wait a second.
I think this movie takes place in Prague.
I was like, next channel.
I didn't want to be abducted.
I would love to see Gretchen abducted.
Yeah.
Can you imagine her in a torture porn?
It would be like Jenna Maroney.
Now, didn't Gretchen, didn't she say that her voice hails from the same lineage of,
who are the pop stars she mentioned?
She mentioned Pink or whatever.
I forgot she said.
She really put herself up in some esteemed company there.
I was going to say, yeah, she really belts it out, like Pink and Kelly Clarkson.
You know what?
I think Gretchen would make a good backup dancer for the Pussycat Dolls because she is hot.
We're not going to deny that.
But can she do the vertical splits?
Because if you can't do the vertical splits, you can't be in the Pussycat Dolls.
I think she probably could do it.
I think she could.
And I think really, quite frankly, I think the only reason why Slade arranged this is that way he could look at those Pussycat Dolls up on stage.
I mean, his boner was practically just into his pants.
What is with all the coughing?
Are you guys smoking Reza's hookah over there?
I wish.
I am just congested.
I'm getting over a cold.
I think you've got the hookah up in there.
I wish.
Oh, we've got a hookah.
Well, should we talk about that?
We do have a scented candle.
Should we talk about the shots of Sunset?
Why don't we talk?
Of course. Yes. we talk? Of course.
Yes.
Of course.
Of course.
You know what the problem is?
I'm a little parched.
I could stand to have some.
Diamond water?
Something for my, what is it?
My inner Aries fire dragon, intergalactic Persian priestess.
Yeah.
Yeah, I often need to get in touch with my inner Aries, Fire Dragon, Intergalactica, Persian Priestess.
But usually only when I'm listening to an epic Persian summer jam.
That's really the way it works for me.
Which happens every five minutes.
Yeah.
Matt's gone quiet.
He's gone rogue.
Yeah, I'm actually, like, really now thirsty for some Pinot Grigio from the Romano Singer line.
I like that Pinot Grigio, to be honest.
So, let's see. There's so much
talk about it. You know, I'm a little sad because
this was episode three, and I think
that Bravo only had a six-episode order.
So we're happy. Shut your mouth.
Really? Oh, yeah.
I wonder if it's going to be done.
Do you think it's going to...
Do you think the up prints are going to determine how...
They should have Asa up there doing Tarantulas sold.
Three more seasons instantly.
I think it would be awesome.
I love MJ.
I love me some Persian Snooki.
Yeah, MJ loves...
You do not love MJ more than MJ loves a slider.
Oh, yeah.
And a romper.
And a romper and a little fat dog.
You know what?
I really like MJ a lot. I've what? I really like MJ a lot.
I've decided I actually really like her a lot.
But that outfit she wore when she was trying to get Reza and Gigi to reconcile, that outfit
should have been sent back to Iran.
Ben, can Lisa and I get you to commit to being MJ for Halloween?
Because it would make us happy.
I'm still going with my Halloween idea.
Well, it's not...
He wants to do a group thing of a bunch of Suzy Ormans.
Yeah, I'm going for a group Suzy Orman.
I think you could sell me on the Shaz a little bit better.
Well...
I would gladly go with Asa.
I'll be the guy with the mustache.
I'll be...
By the way, I look like Mario or Luigi when I have a mustache.
I'll go across the street.
I'll knock on her door and be like, Listen, MJ, I know you don't want to put on that romper ever again.
Hand it over, sister.
That's what I'll do.
I really like this show so much.
So the big thing this week was that it was like the fallout from Vegas.
And in Vegas, as we all remember, Anita was looking super hot, which is sort of her thing, I think.
Yeah, that's kind of her thing.
That's kind of her thing.
And made Gigi very jealous
and so Gigi started talking shit about
Anita. And throwing some
high kicks in. Don't forget high kicks.
Oh, I forgot about that. Some high kicks, some Persian high kicks.
And so then when Anita
had the audacity
to behave
maturely
and tell Gigi,
can you stop talking shit about me?
Gigi flipped her shit and then to this week
she was like, Gigi
kept on saying, why should I apologize when she
did something wrong? No, no, no, no.
Get this straight. She kept telling everybody
that Anita attacked her.
Oh, yeah. And got her in her grill.
And if you're like me. I was sitting there
and watching and I was going,
actually, I think,
all I can recall
is Anita going like,
please stop being mean
about my bathing suit.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, like,
Gigi's reality
is so twisted.
I mean, this girl
needs to be on some serious
Well, she,
she self,
she described herself
as a,
what was it,
like a pit bull
or a Rottweiler
ready to attack a dog?
With a chihuahua.
Bite the head off of a chihuahua.
A chihuahua, which doesn't really imply that you're dealing with a threatening individual.
Yeah.
If you consider her to be a chihuahua.
Yeah, exactly.
It also suggests some cannibalistic tendencies.
Qualities.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm not 100% familiar with the Persian culture.
I don't know if that's part of the way it goes.
I'm just going to put it out there that Gigi is definitely a hot mess and a bitch.
Not over Mike.
Yeah.
And she's a heinous person and extremely jealous of the fact that Anita looks better than her last episode and all of this episode.
Yeah.
Beyond a doubt.
Especially at the champagne tasting.
Oh my God.
The champagne tasting was hilarious.
I kind of want to do one on our next podcast.
I would love to.
That'd be fantastic.
I think we should totally have a test.
Except we might not be doing like Chris all,
but we might be doing like,
you know,
cooks and yeah.
Andre cooks.
Yeah.
I'm down.
And then,
uh,
I guess we can probably get a Vogue.
That's like $30.
I have an extra Vogue hanging around.
I do.
I got it free.
Don't worry.
What is it?
An extra magnum of Vogue just floating around the apartment.
We could get some Taranger, right?
I want some Ramona Singer wine, too.
Let's have that.
Maybe a Skinny Girl cocktail.
Maybe just get drunk. Yeah. Get some have that. Can we just have a skinny girl cocktail and we can just get drunk?
Yeah.
Get some Prosecco.
We got Prosecco on.
Where did I just see last night someone drink Prosecco on ice?
Oh, this is the worst cooks in America.
Anne Burrell drinks Prosecco on ice off topic. Who doesn't?
I've never had Prosecco on ice.
Have you?
Let me tell you what this amazing drink is.
It's Prosecco on ice with a little grapefruit juice.
Prepare some. Well, you love a greyhound,
don't you? I love greyhounds.
That's racist. I'm just kidding. I don't know
what that means.
I'm sending Kim Zolciak to talk to you.
We need to get back to Anita here for a second
and the whole fight with Gigi because when they went into
that kitchen, I actually thought
that Gigi was going to
high kick her in the face. It was so
unprovoked. And then
smack her on the head with a metal spatula.
Oh, yeah. Picking up the spatula.
First of all,
if there was anybody who looked
remotely stronger than Anita,
she wouldn't have pulled that shit. Yeah.
I would like to imagine this
skinny hoe in a fight, like, for
real. And Rezo is probably horrified by it.
Oh, my God, my best friends are fighting.
What is this?
I have to give him credit because I thought that he was going to back down to Gigi,
but as soon as that episode opened, he was just like,
no, she was a classless bitch, and I'm not going to stand for it.
I don't think he's scared of her.
He's a totally big gay owl, by the way. Yeah, he is. That's why I love him going to stand for it. I don't think he's scared of her. He's totally big gay Al, by the way.
That's why I love him.
Big gay person Al. But you know, I do get the distinct
feeling that he's very good to his friends.
I thought the whole segment where he
and MJ, they showed them
doing real estate. Those two together are cute.
I actually do sense that he's probably a really loyal
fun friend. But his voice
can be great. Which I love though.
It's fun. I love when he busts out the
Persian. It just sounds great.
I know. Salaam!
And then everything else to me sounds like
What did he say? Persians love
Las Vegas.
I love that.
Heaven buzzies!
Pishy, pishy!
Pishy, pishy, pishy! We're learning so much.
This is so fun, Matt June.
Okay, so the point is, Gigi is horrible.
She will probably continue to fight with Anita as long as Anita is going to be dragged into this mix but not getting full cast member credit.
Yeah.
And Asa is loving it.
She's seen by the sidelines that she can make these little comments in her confessionals.
Totally.
She loves it.
Can I just say this?
Because you know how I keep talking about how MJ looks like she doesn't have a pop to piss in and her apartment is ghetto looking?
Yeah.
Asa, on the other hand, drives a sleek white SL550.
And her house in Venice is gorgeous.
It really is.
And she's very low-key about it.
Although she did show off her vintage Karl Lagerfeld earrings.
Whatever, they were hot.
Yeah, they were.
No, I liked it.
I like her style.
I think she's going to emerge as being the most interesting one.
Well, I mean, she is an intergalactic person, priestess.
Intergalactic planetary.
I mean, she's an Aries fire dragon,
diamond water.
You know,
how could she not be the most,
I love it.
I love it.
All those diamonds go right to her,
right to her eyebrows.
The diamonds are reincarnated with her,
with the hair on her body.
As the hair on her body, I should say. As i should say as well it should be yes i i agree so oh you say so do we know what any of these people do for a living i know real estate real estate real estate real
estate interesting uh land broker i don't know who the hell what does mike do because mike can't
sell shit and he can't make any money well Well, Mike, he's the king of Vegas.
He's a connoisseur of Latino hookers.
Yes.
And he likes to have lunch with his mom at Magnolia.
The self-confessed mama's boy.
The mom, I actually like his mom a lot.
Love the mom.
She's great.
She's great.
And I love when he's like, yeah, the guy didn't want to buy the club.
And she's like, oh, he like it so much.
He was also like, yeah, Persian girls are starting to look a little bit better.
She's like, oh, really?
They are?
She's like, good.
And he's like, maybe I'll find love down in Colombia.
Sort of like as a joke, maybe to test out his mom for his girlfriend.
And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
No.
She's like, you're joking, right? Colombian girl? No, ha ha ha ha. No. She's like,
you're joking, right?
Colombian girl?
No, you won't find love there.
No, you will not do that.
No, I love the mom.
And you know what?
You know what I liked about the mom?
I liked her style.
Yeah, she's cute.
You know,
you don't normally say that
about older Persian women.
That's a curse.
In this town, you know?
I could rock it.
I could rock it.
Normally there's a lot of gold going on.
And by the way, as I'm saying this,
something just occurred to me.
Last night, I watched The Hunger Games.
I don't know if you saw it or not,
but Lenny Kravitz's character
has like gold eyeshadow.
And I was like, where have I seen that look before?
And it occurred to me, MJ's mom
rocked the gold eyeshadow.
That sounds right. Who doesn't? where have I seen that look before? It occurred to me, MJ's mom rocked the gold eye shadow.
Who doesn't?
She's either extremely ahead of her time by a few hundred years
or Hunger Games
is really turning to Bravo.
That's her intergalactic Persian
priestess she's channeling.
I like the Persian influence on the Hunger Games.
It's inevitable, you know?
It's bound to happen.
What do you guys think of the fact that Mike refuses
to call the girl that he's dating
his girlfriend?
I think he has a ton of
mommy issues.
He's just got them up the rear end.
Yeah, but he was like, when anybody said
like, oh, who's that? Your girlfriend?
It was like, no. He was putting his foot down.
It's the girl I am seeing.
Well, here's the thing. Maybe's the girl I am seeing. Well,
here's the thing.
Maybe it could,
maybe in the first like two weeks of this,
I think that he is just because there's so much pressure for him to find a
Persian Jewish girl.
Yeah.
On top of the fact that he's like,
they have to be exactly like my mom.
Yeah.
He's not going to,
he,
he figures that he can bang everybody he wants as long as he doesn't call it his girlfriend.
Yeah.
Sounds like you know something about this.
You know what's sad?
This is basically the story of my life.
Lisa's been through so many Persian boyfriends.
If I had a dollar for every Persian Jewish boy who broke my heart, I'd be broke.
You'd be broke because you'd have spent it on the house they sold her.
But yeah, the minute he called himself a mama's boy, I was like, oh my God.
They have lunch every day.
Isn't that what he said?
I don't know if it's every day, but clearly they are way too close.
They are way too close to the fact that in the middle of the conversation, he can say
to his mom, oh my God, there's so many hot chicks outside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, don't talk like that to your mom.
Yeah, no, that's awkward.
No, there's clearly some strange issues.
And I did like Reza's line where he said, Mike normally has like, you know, a flavor of the day.
Here's the flavor of the month.
Yeah, flavor of the week.
He's like, this is the flavor of the month.
I was like, point for Reza for finally having a really good gazinger there.
I appreciated that greatly.
And no points for Sammy for pretending to be a real estate developer.
Oh, my God.
Sammy with his Homer Simpson hair.
Yes.
But points to Sammy for somehow linking the Shazza sunset to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills through the Mohammed connection.
That's it.
Yeah, I think that that was maybe a little Andy Cohen and Lisa Vanderpump working with Ryan Seacrest.
But sure, we'll give Sammy all the credit.
Yeah, give him some credit.
What else?
You know, he needs something.
He needs a new hat.
He's like, hey, I'm family.
He does need a new hat, real bad.
He should speak to Dwight.
Dwight has some great hats.
Dwight?
And it's sort of the same.
He has plenty of hats.
He can spare them.
Yeah.
I think he needs to be styled by Dwight.
Dwight's also like, hey, do you need me cake, too?
By the way, I have to say, I thought it was
really funny
that MJ was like, you know, there are a lot of
Persian stereotypes out there, and you know what?
They're all pretty much true.
So as soon as she said that part of me,
I was like, does that mean we can talk about all
of them? Me too! I was like, yes,
I could podcast about shackles.
Let's talk about all the gold
they wear and how gaudy they are.
And how they can't
live without a white Mercedes.
Yeah.
Well, you know,
what's interesting is
I found that
looking at their apartments,
like Reza, for instance,
you know,
he has a very nice apartment,
but I find that like...
He does?
Yeah, yeah.
It's nicer than mine.
I don't know about that.
It's nicely decorated,
nicely designed,
but my issue is this, though.
It's like he has modern contemporary furniture and everything,
and then you have these weird, like,
like, touchstones of his culture.
So you have, like, a Persian carpet or, like, a giant, like,
like a giant vase.
And those cheap-ass kitchen doors.
Oh, yeah, what was up with that?
That's like a sitcom door, you know, where they're like,
you know, it's like if they have to go into the kitchen,
they have these little flimsy doors.
Yeah, like Alice and Flo are, like, busting through, you know, to Mel, you know, where they're like, you know, it's like, if they have to go into the kitchen, they have these little flimsy doors. Yeah, like Alice and Flo are, like, busting through, you know, to Mel.
I think those are literally the same doors that were in the Three's Company kitchen,
were they not?
Or maybe Golden Girls.
Golden Girls, I think, had, like, a flat hangar.
No, I think the hoarder from Jeff Lewis Interior Therapy probably owns those doors.
You know, and that's a wonderful, that's a wonderful segue, Lisa. Thank you.
I do what I can. To
Jeff Lewis and Teratherapy. So I missed this
week, but maybe you guys can fill me in a little bit?
Well, Jeff seemed to be
overjoyed to be
redecorating this
guy who really
was a rich hoarder, was he not?
Oh, he was for sure a hoarder.
Because, yeah, we both love hoarders.
And that is a whole new echelon of hoarders
that I think has not really been explored.
Yeah, you know, aren't you tired of seeing people
with, like, old puddings, nap cups from, like, 1986 and flies
all in a trailer with, like, ten dead cats?
I was going to say, like, little cardboard cutouts of cats that have been smushed down by adult
divers.
Yes.
Yes, I'm done with cats.
Oh my God.
Don't get me started on the adult divers.
I think Dr. Laszlo, is it Gene?
Dr. Gene Laszlo deserves to be able to rub elbows with some of Beverly Hills' most esteemed
hoarders.
Well, they should have the real hoarders of Beverly Hills.
And each hoarder should get up there and do
a turn or the opening
with their hands on their hips and be like...
Piles of junk behind them.
I don't keep things. I own things.
I'm not a hoarder.
I'm a collector.
I don't like cats.
I love them and then there's carcasses everywhere.
I love how the Rape of Persephone statue was out by the trash cans.
That's how rich this guy was.
I can't even,
I can't even conceptualize.
The scary thing is that like this dude probably had $15 million worth of art
slash crap.
Oh,
you mean the Mark Chagall that he just threw up on the wall next to like five other
statues?
Oh, it was amazing.
Did he really just have like a Chagall that he just put up there?
Oh yeah. No, this is like hoarding on like
the level of, this guy probably has like
a closet of Warhols.
How did they get through it? How did Jeff lose the deal?
Oh, Jeff didn't want to leave.
Jeff was like trying to figure out how to get
a Kato Kaelin, I quote, situation
going on. So was he able to figure out how to get a Kato Kaelin, I quote, situation going on.
So was he able to fix it?
Well, I mean...
And was there any therapy involved?
Look, there's no therapy, really.
I mean, they just, you know, had a slumber party and Jeff and Jenny ate all their food and were having a great old time.
But I think that the success was that they packed up the majority of the shit and shipped it off.
Yeah, I'm sure.
You know, it's funny.
I've always had this idea for a TV show
that I think would be hilarious,
but I've been told that there might be problems with it.
I call it hoarder surprise.
And basically what happens is
you tell a hoarder that they've won
an all-expense-paid trip to Disney World.
So they go to Disney World,
and during that week you go in
and you just throw out all their crap.
Oh, you've never seen the show, Ben.
They come home and they will be devastated.
Their reaction will be hilarious.
Lauren Zaslow would not be down with that because people would go in shock and kill
themselves.
I know.
I think they really, some of them would probably just have heart attacks right on the spot.
I know.
No, I know.
I've seen horrors here and there.
I'm just thinking sometimes I think that would be really hilarious.
Not a heart attack.
No,
like,
like just,
just to see there,
you know,
to see like,
see,
my favorite thing is when they pick up like a,
like a little,
like a,
like an old piece of tissue and they go now on a scale from one to 10,
if I throw this tissue away,
how uncomfortable is that going to make you?
And then you watch them start to shake and they're like,
well,
that's the tissue that I used to wipe my nose for the finale of Hoarders last season.
Eleven. Eleven. It's eleven.
It's an eleven. It's eleven.
Okay, it's coming down. It's coming down.
The amount of patience for people who work at Hoarders.
Yes, these people are amazing.
I mean, because it takes like a year sometimes or a year and a half to get through all this stuff, right?
Because you have to go at the pace.
Well, actually, all the episodes are all based on they have a very limited amount of time because the city is going to throw them out of their house.
There's always some like someone's going to lose the house.
So they always, it's sort of, you know, you're supposed to continue with the therapy afterwards.
But for the purpose of the show, it's always like a real compressed time.
Yeah.
That's a crazy,
crazy thing.
Wow.
Once I got serious,
cause I love that show.
I'm glad,
I'm glad that boarding finally made its way onto Bravo.
Yes.
Well,
it was actually like a really good episode because the guy,
Bob,
despite the fact that he has like a wife that is half his age,
which I never approve of.
Yeah.
Um,
he actually did appreciate what Jeff and Jenny did
and they did end up making a nice art
gallery in his mansion for him
and it really did look quite spectacular.
Wow. And he seemed like a nice man.
Yeah.
We were rooting against
Felice in episode one.
Oh my god, Felice was such a bitch.
Felice Navidad.
She was not Navidad.
Oh, they have had, that family,
that husband and wife have had sex three times.
Yeah, and it was
through the rear.
Ah, I'm clutching
my pearls.
We got Matt there. It's always important to get Matt
to clutch his pearls at least once in a podcast.
Nice, nice. I'm glad I could do it.
Maybe on that note, maybe we should wrap things up
while Matt is still in a state of shock.
That works for me.
I think we should. I think we should. I mean, let's be honest.
Nobody's watching Love Broker.
Nobody cares about Love Broker.
I don't even know what it is.
Or the real brokers of New York City or whatever they're called.
I'm all on the DVR.
I kind of casually watched the first episode.
My heart belongs
to the
boys from the California version.
My heart belongs to none of those guys
because I think they're all sort of annoying.
But basically, you probably watched the
New York one because there's a gay porn star
on there.
He's gross. That's not my thing.
He's more of a
Croy
in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru on a non-Sunday. That's not my thing. It's more of a Kroi, Kroi, Kroi Birman
and the Chick-fil-A
drive-thru
on a non-Sunday.
Ain't nothing wrong
with that.
Ain't nothing wrong
with that.
Might I suggest
also Burger King.
Just go through the mall.
Just go down the street.
It's still a mall.
It's still a mall.
The gyro place.
There's more and more.
It's enough Kroi
to go around.
Enough cake for everyone.
Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, thanks, Lisa, for coming on to the podcast tonight.
Thank you.
I came all over this podcast.
It was fabulous.
I'm still clutching your words.
Wow, that was amazing.
And Matt, it was fun, as always.
Thanks, Jim, thank you.
I need to go drop my dog off at Barkingham Palace right now.
Before it closes and before Tabitha shuts them down.
Oh, I would be careful with those crazy lesbians there.
I'm not saying it because they're lesbians that they're crazy.
Those are two separate adjectives.
Yeah, I'm not doing a Cynthia here.
I'm just saying that there are two lesbians, and they happen to be crazy, and they run
Barkingham Palace.
With an iron fist.
Crazy times.
All right.
Thanks, everyone.
Thanks for listening.
Oh, and follow us on What Crappens on Twitter.
What Crappens is our name.
And I'm...
How about as individuals as well? Yes. You know, you just turned into a robot there, by the way. on Twitter. What crappens is our name. And, uh, I'm, yes,
you,
you,
you know,
you just turned into a robot there.
You just turned into like C3PO,
uh,
Matt,
or a Roomba.
Yeah.
Or a Roomba.
Oh,
DJ Roomba.
I love DJ Roomba.
Matt is,
uh,
life on the M list.
Lisa is Timmons Lisa.
And I'm B-SideBlog.
Follow us all on Twitter.
It's your duty and your obligation.
And don't forget to go check out some of our other sister shows brought to you by the Sideshow Network.
Sideshow Network, yes.
Including Banter with Ben and Lisa.
Yeah.
Which is our other podcast.
How convenient.
How convenient.
Isn't that funny how this all works out?
Talk about Battle of the Network Stars.
Oh, we're shaking over.
Anyway, everyone, go have fun with your 12 cakes.
And we will see you all next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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