Watch What Crappens - The TV Clique: Big Brother - Week 5 in Review
Episode Date: July 29, 2013Ben Mandelker (bsideblog), Ronnie Karam (trashtalkTV) and Matt Whitfield (Yahoo) of Watch What Crappens branch out to talk poo about Big Brother 15. Live on our Facebook page http://www.faceb...ook.com/watchwhatcrappens every Thursday night at 10:30 PM Pacific time! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith.
Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously.
But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports.
So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap Is.
Big Brother, I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com.
And that other guy right over there, that's Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com.
Hi.
Hi.
You look like you're having a fantastic time over there in that beautiful garden that you seem to have in your apartment.
Yeah, trees, Trees, guys.
For those of you tuning in, you're like, wait, I thought you guys were called the TV Click Big Brother.
Well, we were, but we're not expert branders,
and we decided to just put everything under the Watch Our Crappins umbrella.
So we like the TV Click name, and maybe we'll incorporate it in something else,
in some minor element, but for right now, we're all just watching
our crap in Big Brother style.
Yeah, that's easy. We don't have to get a new
Facebook page and all that crap.
Yeah, that's basically it. We just didn't want to have to start up all
our new things. Really
quickly, Ronnie is at
Trash Talk TV on
Instagram. I'm at B-Side Blog on
Instagram, Twitter, and
on Vine, and follow us
there, and enjoy
us.
Ben's doing really good photo
caps of Big Brother on his website,
bsideblog, and I'm doing
kind of redub video
recaps on my
website, trashtalktv.com, so come on
over, guys. Yeah, but we're going to get to
Big Brother right now, and
by the way, I want to give a shout out to whoever the YouTube
commenter was who said, you know,
you guys spent two minutes talking about yourself.
You should rename this podcast
Talking About Ourselves. All about me.
All about me.
If I thought anybody would watch that,
I would rename it All About Me, and I'd
just be like, you know what I did today?
Nothing. Let's talk about it.
My back hurts from sleeping too much.
How about you guys?
All right.
So we are now, of course, talking about ourselves.
But let's talk about Big Brother.
We just finished, is it week five that we just finished?
Week five.
Whoa.
Another good week.
Another great season.
We're happy.
Are we not, Ronnie?
Yeah, they're keeping it rolling along.
I thought it was going to be
dead after they got rid of the
biggest douchebags of the house, but
it's not at all. It just keeps steaming
right along. And watching
Erin try to pretend she's a nice, not
racist is probably one of my favorite
things on TV right now. I agree.
I think that is my favorite thing
of all time, at least for this summer.
Because she's, by the way, a raging racist. Raging. She's terrible. And I love that is like my favorite thing of all time, at least for this summer, because she's, by the way, a raging racist.
Raging.
She's terrible.
And I love that she keeps saying over and over, like, well, I've been nice for the past few weeks.
I haven't been negative lately.
I mean, maybe I'm negative, but I haven't been negative lately.
You're a horrible human being.
That lives forever.
It's like Hitler being like, well, I mean, you know,
I killed six million Jews, but I haven't done it
in like six months, so
I should get some credit for that,
right? Yeah. I could have killed
12 million Jews. I mean, that's how many
there were. I mean, I stopped at six,
so. Yeah, I was
listening to some other podcast, and this
guy on it, he was a comedian, and he
was trying to say like, well, you know, he was a comedian and he was trying to say like
well you know hitler was a terrible person and he killed all these people but you know there is a
chance he could have killed someone who had been left alive would have gone on to rule the entire
world and have been a terrible person so you never know i'm like hmm i feel like this would be like
that's like aaron's like mentality is like, I don't want to be a racist,
but if we get rid of all the blacks and Jews and gays,
we might be getting rid of someone who could be really bad for society.
Yeah, exactly.
Like maybe I made a black person cry,
but at least they're in the bathroom crying
instead of out there on the street robbing somebody.
She's doing her good deeds.
She's such a dumb bitch.
She is dumb.
So I thought this week, this was Judd's week,
we all thought it was going to be a little
dull because it's Judd, he doesn't
really do much, and you know,
in the beginning of the season there was a little bit more
tension going on in the house. It seems to
have quieted down. But
here we are, and right after
the latest eviction episode, I feel like the tension
is still very strong.
It is because they all hate each
other, which is just so fun. And then
they've got a couple wild cards in there, like
Alyssa's in there, and
she's kind of led us to believe that she's nice,
but then a couple of things have happened that
we think, but maybe she's not nice, and
that's awesome, because
she's going to be so great to watch.
The best thing on reality shows, and I've said this on our Bravo podcast a million times,
but it's always like a little flower.
There's a little seed planted at the very beginning, and then you just watch people turn horrible.
You see the worst sides of them, and they bloom into a beautiful bitch flower.
I really think that Alyssa's got some potential.
Alyssa showed a lot of bitch potential this week.
I was always like Team Alyssa.
She was like my number one.
But I think the first thing was when she started making fun of Amanda's bathing suit, right?
Okay, the best line of the whole week for me was,
You wear a one-piece? Who are you?
Who are you? are you thanks for asking
I don't know you anymore
who are you
like I wouldn't wear that on TV
like I don't know
thanks but no thanks
I'm like
not obsessed with the
one piece
I mean even as a joke
thanks
no
like that girl has been on the block every week
that girl is like sisters
to one of the most hated and slash
loved I guess people of all
time and the thing
she chooses to take a stand on is a
one piece bathing suit
she's not taking a stand on anything a one-piece bathing suit. She's not taking a stand on anything
ever that we've known in over
a month, and suddenly a one-piece
bathing suit, she won't shut the fuck up for the whole hour.
I know.
I think the fact that she was an MVP
somehow that shook out all
the bitch seeds that were in her
that were ready to be
a few inches deeper in the soil
for them to flower,
and the MVP thing shook them in deeper in the soil,
and now we're getting the first sprouts, you know?
Because not only...
Well, I loved, first of all,
when she didn't have MVP
and she didn't know what to do about it,
so she walked into the room and she was like...
I have nothing
no I've got nothing to say
she was acting like she had some huge secret
and Amanda called her out on it and asked her
what the fuck you're acting like you have some secret
I think it's just
one of those faces like when you've had work done
like you just don't know what she's thinking
you know like her blank
you get used to the face so when you see something like that you're like what's happening but she's thinking. Like her blank, you get used to the face, so when you see something like that, you're like
what's happening? But she's like the queen
of...
She's like,
I have nothing to say,
but thanks for asking.
That's my
favorite quote of hers from like last week, when she
said to Jen,
thanks for asking.
Well, that girl's...
Great time. Thanks for asking.
Well, that whole
bathing suit drama really got
kind of ugly because
Alyssa was saying,
I wouldn't wear a one-piece, and then
Amanda puts on her one-piece, which Amanda
has a bikini, right? She's been in
it before, but anyway, she was in her little one
piece trying to make a dominatrix outfit.
And Alyssa wouldn't stop.
Wouldn't stop. So she just kept
saying, I want a piece. I want a piece.
And then she's like, yeah, maybe I'll let
him eat some cream
off my thigh. And Alyssa's like,
that's disgusting.
I mean, no offense,
but seriously, gross. I'm going to barf. I mean, no offense, but seriously gross.
I'm going to barf. I mean, no offense,
but disgusting.
I mean, I don't mean to be mean or anything,
but that's seriously
disgusting. No thanks.
I saw
one time a tiger eat a baby
and then it threw it up and then it
licked all the pieces
back up and that was less disgusting
than eating something off
your thigh. No offense.
No offense, but at least that tiger
was wearing a bikini and not a one-piece.
And it was a tiger print bikini,
so it actually didn't even look like
there was a bikini there at all.
Thanks. I was like,
thanks, tiger.
That tiger was hairy all over his
body, and it was still less disgusting
than the thought of somebody eating something
off your thigh. Not bad.
No offense. I don't mean to be
mean, but your thighs
are, like, huge, and I hate them.
No offense.
It's like watching somebody eat a piece of ham
off of a tub of cottage chairs. Not bad. It's like watching somebody eat a piece of ham off of a tub of cottage cheese.
No offense.
It's like watching Cheez Whiz being put on an old tire.
No offense.
I love when we let those go too long.
We just started.
We just started.
What are you talking about?
I'm cheesing this all the time.
It's like watching someone put whipped cream
on an armadillo that you see on the
side of the road. Thanks. No offense.
Well, I still love her.
And Amanda, okay. Amanda's
very, very manipulative.
And I said this last week, and I'll say it again.
All you have to do to know what a bitch she is
is to look at the look on her terrified father's face
when he says, Amanda gets whatever she wants.
Because that is so true.
And she's so, okay, she starts the episode like,
well, if Alyssa doesn't have MVP, then she's no use to me.
Fuck it, I'll just vote her off.
Like, who cares?
She's stupid.
And then this bathing suit drama happens, and she's like, oh, my God, she was like my best friend.
I worked so hard to keep her in this house with Gray.
I know I'm not skinny, but that was just mean and hateful.
She knows that that wasn't being mean and hateful, right?
Alyssa wasn't calling her, like, fat. She wasn't saying, like,
your body is
disgusting. That's why I don't want to
watch somebody eat off of it. It was
that she's trying to pretend that she
wasn't, like, a porn, you know, like an internet
porn star a year ago, or
whatever, before she got her yoga license.
She's trying to pretend she's a Christian, right?
Right. Well, I, um, what I liked about this bathing suit drama
was that there was a drama attached to it.
You know, like, this is why you know it's a good season of Big Brother.
Because if it was, like, two years ago,
there would have been a bathing suit fashion show,
and someone might have said something,
and then that would have been it.
But because this is, like, a good season, the bathing suit scene that you think is a fun,
like, oh, here's a human interest part, that's a goofy segment,
then turns into a drama with someone crying in the bathroom stall.
That's what I love.
That's a good season.
Yeah, because she's fat.
No one called you fat.
Get over yourself.
You're meaty, for sure.
You're mannish.
You're a little thick.
You possibly got some nuts dropping out of you
in that one piece.
You're not fat.
You're not fat.
You've got an hourglass figure,
assuming that you have one of those modern hourglasses
that look like this.
You sort of have a glass figure, like a general target. You know, you have one of those modern hour glasses that look like this, you know.
You just don't have a glass figure, like a general, like, Target.
You have a Starbucks figure.
You know, it's perfectly natural.
You know, a little big boned.
Yeah, don't feel bad.
Just stand next to Helen.
Yeah. I wish I had more props here. Yeah, don't feel bad. Just stand next to Helen.
I wish I had more props here.
Stand next to Gina Marie.
This is my Gina Marie wig.
When I wear this, I'm being Gina Marie.
Yo, where's Nick?
Yo, this is a shout-out to all my New Yorkers and my New Jerseyans.
Yo, holla.
Holla, y'all like little cockroaches.
I love all of yous. All of yous little cockroaches.
What is that?
Actually, this is disgusting that I've even got this on my head
because my dog is so prison raped
this thing gross
but wait
dog's penis on my bald spot
that was Gina Marie that big puff of hair
on it
why don't we dial back to Sunday night's episode
so let's see do we remember anything that happened
on Sunday night's episode
that was the ice cream
frozen yogurt, which stupid
Gina Marie kept calling Fro-Mo.
I don't know what the fuck that is. It's like a frozen gay guy.
It's probably how Nick is on his couch
while he watches her.
Frozen Mo.
Don't ever let her get a big hit.
Please.
If I stay super still, she'll never see me.
She's like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Maybe she'll think I'm just a shadow. She's like, that's our Anasaurus Rex. Maybe she'll think I'm just
a shadow.
She has the, I don't know.
But she, yeah, Gina Marie,
it's a shame.
No, no, don't bother.
You know, here's the thing. Nick really,
I think he finally saw what he missed out on,
which is her superior oral skills,
which she executed onto the frozen yogurt machine.
She got, wait, how do I do it, how do I show the gift that I which is her superior oral skills which she executed onto the frozen yogurt machine she got
wait how do I show the gif that I made
on this
you made a gif
I'm so excited
you have to go to
screen share
and then it will let you pick
because
I've got just a general
picture of her that Miss Cleo gave.
No, I actually made a GIF, and I'm going to try to show it right now.
Here's the thing.
My computer has about as much functionality as Gina Marie's brain,
so it goes very slowly.
Do you watch a lot of this on your computer?
You have a lot of that going on.
How are you able to... Isn't that disgusting?
So thank you, Ms. Cleo, for sending that to me
because my damn DVR didn't even get that.
I had to watch that bullshit on the internet.
Oh, just press to the left
you see where all that menu stuff is
okay guys here's a tutorial on how to use Google Hangouts
on the left
under chat there's something called screen share
click that and then it'll show you
all the different windows open on your screen
and just click what you want and it'll show
oh okay hold on let me open up my
Gina Marie Froyo GIF
in the meantime while you're working on that I will show you guys It'll show up. Oh, okay. Hold on. Let me open up my Gina Marie Froyo GIF.
In the meantime, while you're working on that,
I will show you guys one of my favorite looks of Julie Chen was tonight's look, this hair.
I just think this hair is amazing.
I loved it.
It's sort of cone-head-y, but I liked it.
Well, it reminded...
You know, Julie, I think she's very nice and everything,
but she's always bugged me
because I feel like she can't read a cue card
and it's been like 10 years.
It's hard sometimes to not get annoyed
with her, but tonight
she really made me fall in love because she looks like my
favorite TV character of all time,
Patsy, from
Absolutely Fabulous. Oh, okay.
I thought it was going to be someone from the Jetsons.
She's really got a vintage thing
going on.
Every time I see that Ivana hair, I'm like, oh my god, it's Patsy!
Wouldn't that be amazing if it was just Patsy in Julie Chen's position?
All right, I'm going to try to share this GIF now.
Let's see if we can do this.
Let's see if I can... Oh, wait. Hold on.
Sorry, everyone.
This is a really professional recap.
Hey, guys.
We're totally...
Yeah, we're totally proud.
If you guys still...
How about this, Ronnie?
While I try to figure it out,
why don't you go see
if there are any questions
on the Facebook?
Well, okay.
I'm there right now.
Ooh, Lisa Pierce
has got a bottle of wine.
Uh-oh.
We're in trouble.
She's going.
It's going to be
a hundred comment thread.
Ah!
Have a bottle of Shamps.
Thank you, Heather.
No.
Speaking of absolutely fabulous,
Heather from Real Housewives of Orange County,
F you with your Shamps.
It's not Shamps.
Shamp is stunning.
Yes, thank you.
Sweetie, come on, Tony.
It's not Shamps.
Thank you.
Heather's trying to make something.
Don't let her make it.
Yeah.
Don't you have this in the audio version?
Yes, we will make an audio
version tomorrow.
So far,
Amanda is a pre-op tranny.
Jeff is
being groomed as Julie's replacement.
Oh, God, Jeff. You know what?
Jeff would be a good replacement. Jeff Schroeder
would be a good replacement for Julie if she
ever left the show because he's another one who can't
read a goddamn cue card and he does it every day.
They use him on those after shows and he's like,
yo, what up? It's me, Jeff.
Someone got kicked off.
And he'll be like, so you got kicked off, right?
How you feel?
Right? I know, right?
Them's the cards.
I'm like, shut up.
Who let him on there?
Hey, can you see my GIF now?
I think I'm sharing it.
Oh, I was looking at Facebook.
Speak again so it moves the camera back to you.
Here's the GIF of Gina Marie downing the frozen yogurt.
Can you see that?
Is it working?
You seem like in shock.
Oh, my God.
That's disgusting.
Well, every time I say...
Oh, and it killed his fucking computer.
Do you like that?
Do you like how this worked?
Alright.
So let's hope that fool comes back on.
He's going to have to restart his computer now.
You know what? Let's just stop the whole damn show
because technology is lame.
Alright, so I'm going to go ahead and read
some more of your Facebook comments
while we wait for Ben to come back.
And you get a fake hug. and you get a fake hug, and you get a fake hug.
You all get fake hugs!
My reaction to Aaron's win.
Oh, my God.
Aaron winning.
That was just, you know what?
When Aaron won tonight, head of household, I really had to sit back and I thought to myself, are white people the superior race?
Because you know God is sitting up there having some control.
You know God watches Big Brother.
There ain't nothing else to watch.
Everywhere else is just terrorists and people dying over religious wars and shit.
You know he's got Big Brother on.
That's the only thing on right now.
What else is he watching?
Devious maids?
No one likes a devious maid.
They steal from you.
They're devious.
But no, white people are not the superior race.
And if you need to be reminded,
just listen to Gina Marie talk for about two seconds,
and you'll realize that no, white people are not
and never have been the superior race.
Although you could also argue that white people from Staten Island
are not technically white people. Staten Island are not technically white people.
Staten Island is like its own world, and they're all like tinged a different color
because it's like a big trash heap where they take all the trash from New York and just like dump it in Staten Island.
So I guess you could argue that that's like a whole separate breed of person,
which would leave the door open for Aaron to be a superior race.
If you didn't think think about Rachel Riley.
Who's a winner of Big Brother
and also a terrible, terrible white person?
Or, gosh, I don't know.
It's really hard to think of terrible white people,
isn't it, you guys?
Bueller, shut up!
Bueller's in there squeezing a toy,
like trying to entice me,
like the sound of a squeak
is going to make me run to the other room.
All right, Ben, come on! I'm not used to talking to myself on the internet.
I do it at home a lot. B side. Are you still there? Yes, I'm still here.
Foo. Let's text him back. Yes, still here.
Come back. Okay. Let's re-invite Ben, everybody.
Okay, let's re-invite Ben, everybody.
If there was a way to just pause this and save you the suffering of watching me talk to myself, I would do that.
But you guys see how this technology works, don't y'all?
Ben, man, Dale, Kerr.
Add people to this video call. Add people to this video call. Add people. Okay, invitation posted. All right. Past midnight here in Austin, but I'm so ready for this. Yay, Adriana!
Past midnight in Austin. God's got to be hot as ass there. Let's see. Ben is back
I didn't know what happened there
you did something with your
effing computer, don't ever do anything
with your computer except
internet, I mean except talking the internet
one person at a time
you know what crashes, you know what crashes
no, I did not, so on my end
everything was fine
and you froze. I'm like, well, Ronnie will be
coming back any moment now.
I'm just sitting here in a hangout with you
frozen like this.
I'm like, okay.
Some good old-fashioned internet porn.
I've been growing my jibs for a reason, y'all.
Listen, there's one person
that we can blame for this. Gina Marie.
Because I showed you Gina Marie deep-throating frozen yogurt,
and I broke our show.
You broke the internet.
I'm like, I just destroyed it.
Like, the internet was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is over.
Yeah, that was a lot.
No more.
Well, we know that Gina Marie is going to make a living
now that she's fired from the pageant world, at least.
I'm sure she's gonna have some offers.
Yeah, Pinkberry.
She's so fucking stupid. I love
Pinkberry. I love that when
Julie showed those clips tonight
and they showed her deep-throating that
frozen yogurt, she's like, yeah, what up,
Harlem? You know what I was
thinking, Jules? I was like,
I gotta kept it. I was like, what?
Yeah, she's like... What are you talking about? She's like, I gotta kept it. I was like, what? Yeah. She's like,
what are you talking about? She was like, it was hot,
but it was cold.
So I was like, what?
Just swallow it. Right?
Am I right? Like, Jesus,
how does she even order pizza?
Like, the girl can't string together a goddamn
sentence. It's like a grab bag.
It's like magnetic poetry that's coming out of her head
of, like, phrases. She's like, yo, you know what?
The frozen yogurt, it was hot, but you know what?
It was cold, so I thought I'd just keep on eating it so I would get colder,
but it was getting hotter, and I didn't know what to do,
so I just ate the whole thing, and I was like, oh, my God.
I'm like that.
So do you keep up with – I ask you this every week.
You don't watch live feeds, but you watch After Dark, right?
I try to watch After Dark.
You know, this past week, I sort of did not watch After Dark,
nor did I keep up with the feeds that much.
So I don't have too much insight.
So this is straight show talk.
Because Rene is asking...
Yeah, straight show.
Straight guys.
What?
Yo, bro.
Vagina.
Renee is saying,
Alyssa went bat shit crazy...
Or she went bat poo insane the other day.
Not mean, just crazy.
Also, a man...
A man cray?
Is that their name?
A man cray?
They need a better name than that.
Sex acts getting to be daily.
Around 4 a.m. this morning was a possible
BB first. A man craved BJ
in the HOH bathroom.
Ew.
It reminds me of season 10
when April and Ollie would have sex
in that one room.
Yeah.
Ew.
You see them under the covers.
I used to have a video of it on my blog.
You see their foot move and you hear and the thing is you just see them under the covers I used to have a video of it on my blog see them under the covers
and you see like
their foot move
and you hear like
a lot of like a
oh
so gross
um
what
okay
alright so let's go back
to some
this whole thing is like
fucking my brain
but I do want to know
about Alyssa going crazy
could someone please
fill me in on what
Alyssa did
to go after Isaac
yeah someone go to
facebook.com
forward slash watch what crap happens you'll see there's a discussion thread go there and fill me in on what Alyssa did to go out for Isaac. Yeah, someone go to facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends.
You'll see there's a discussion thread.
Go there and fill us in.
Yeah, people are telling us all kinds of shit.
So anyway, so there was the have not competition.
And so basically they had to eat
whichever team ate the most frozen yogurt
or at least frozen yogurt was the have not.
So poor Andy's have not again.
And what else happened on that show?
Were there any, the Alliance stuff?
You know what? I'd like to say something about that little Andy
kid. We don't see much of him.
But he's on a reality show.
He's a gay guy.
Now, Big Brother traditionally has
the most annoying gay people on earth
as the gay people.
Like, so embarrassing.
And this year they didn't.
They got, like, a normal, kind of funny, sweet, nice gay guy.
He has not talked about being gay, really, I don't think.
He hasn't, like, made a sob story about it.
He hasn't told anybody off, like, fagging out on anybody.
And one of the biggest things is he's actually got a story that he did not make into a, like, my mom is dying of cancer sob story for the TV.
And that is that he was obviously, like, X, like, hundreds of pounds heavier, right?
Yes, because when he was shirtless in that competition, you could see he sort of had hanging skin.
Yeah, and I'm not even being catty.
I'm just saying, like, what the hell kind of reality show contestant doesn't immediately say, like, I used to be 200 pounds heavier, and I lost all that weight, and I deserve to win this show.
Because that's literally what people do.
Because he's, like, this is why we like Andy, because he's, like, a nice guy, and he's not, like, ridiculous, and he doesn't, like, broadcast every stupid thing in his life to the masses. That's also why the camera hates him, because they will never film him.
And you know what, Andy? You're really great
on Big Brother. You will never be on Chopped.
Yeah.
I like that
he really does only one thing per week,
which is he just comes in and he votes.
He comes in and he's like,
Hi, Julie! Sadly, I vote to evict
Caitlin.
Caitlin.
Bye, Julie.
And he just goes.
But that's cute, and for some reason you're like, oh, that Andy.
Yeah, and I like that he has
one line, maybe every week,
where he's just calling out the stupidity
of the people around him.
He'll be like, yay!
You're an idiot.
Yeah. I do love
how much he... Occasionally
when they allow him to talk shit in the
diary room, how much he does talk.
When he calls Aaron the devil. That's the best.
Yes. I thought it was sort of funny
when Caitlyn was ultimately
evicted and she was like, I was really
most disappointed in Andy. I was like,
What? Andy? I was like, I was really most disappointed in Andy. I was like, what? Andy? I was like,
where did that come from?
I guess that's one of those things that you only see if you
watch the feeds. Like Andy sitting there combing
her hair and telling her she's pretty or listening
to her complain about
how she's treated like a
bowling ball by Jeremy or whatever.
You know?
The gay guy always just sits there and listens
to the pretty girl
look at our lives that's pretty much what I do
I know look
I have like a pretty girl in the other room
she just doesn't want to come out here
she's like
she's like I ain't coming
out there for no one
I've been eating too much hot and cold frozen yoga
she's like I ain't coming out there
until it's about me, okay?
I was gonna shoot a captain
like that, right?
Hello, what?
She's like, yo,
I don't have the time to come out there right now.
I don't have the time. I've got a clock in my head.
I love that
Gina Marie actually said today,
you know what, you guys?
I'm a nice girl with a bad accent.
I was like, no one thinks you're a nice girl.
Stop it.
Stop it.
That's not what people are thinking.
She's like, I know what you're thinking.
No, you don't.
You don't even know what you're thinking.
Yeah.
So pretty much Sunday's show was,
it was really nothing but, I think,
Amanda trying to get Howard nominated.
It was just like every single thing
had to do
with Howard. She's like, yeah, it's
really hot out here today.
Gosh, I probably should vote on Howard, huh?
She's like,
oh, God, I'm starving.
Oh, I would feel much less hungry
if Howard was on a bus back home right now.
Yeah. I slept
so well, but I probably would have slept a lot better
if Howard were out of this house.
What was with that?
Why is she so...
Why is she so anti-Howard?
Here's what I think happened.
You know, Howard was caught lying
and was part of this alliance,
and then so Amanda felt threatened by it.
And so she thought Howard was going to go up on the block initially,
but Helen was going to put Howard up on the block.
She didn't put Howard on the block.
And then I think Amanda got in her head that, like, well, this is a huge mistake.
And I think she worked herself up, and then she truly began to believe, like,
Howard was the number one threat and enemy in the house.
And now she just has her blinders on, like, you know, like horse blinders,
because she sort of looks equine sometimes.
But I think that she
I wish I had my
blinders on! One piece?
Who are you?
Thanks.
Who wears blinders
in the Big Brother house?
Are you like a horse?
No offense. I think you you like a horse? No offense.
I think you look like a
strawberry. No offense.
Yeah.
Howard, to me, is really
wonderful because he's so nice.
He's so big.
We've seen his wiener. It's lovely.
Yeah.
He sticks up for the girl.
And I love that he has that meathead thing where if he wants to look smart, he gets his Claire's Boutique glasses that have no lenses.
You know there's no lenses.
I love those.
You know those are, like, fake smart glasses, which Jesse also wears for the same reason.
And he's just really dumb.
Like, he's just not a smart person.
Yeah.
But he's so nice, and I just love his stupidity.
It makes me laugh every single time.
It's like, hey, all right, come here.
I know the last alliance didn't work out, but let's start a new alliance, and don't tell anybody.
Oh, wait, let's tell her.
Let's tell her.
Come here, come here, come here.
Don't tell anybody.
We're going to start a new alliance.
Okay, and if you're going to start a new alliance, don't call it the same alliance that just got busted up.
I know.
It's like the new moving company.
Yeah, it's like we're not U-Haul.
Now we're Ryder, but it's still a moving company.
Until we run out of moving companies,
we're just going to keep reforming this terrible, terrible, terrible alliance.
I know.
It's like, okay, let's name this movie Ishtar,
and maybe this one will be a success.
Like, okay,
this alliance is going to be called Howard
the Duck, alright?
Get in line.
Everybody's going to be afraid of us.
You know,
what was I going to
say about Howard? Yeah,
you know, some people online have been like,
oh, I hate Howard, you know,
he's like, he's a liar, and yet
he hides behind the Bible. I have not found
that his Bible-thumping has been excessive.
Maybe that's just what we're seeing
as viewers at home, as
supposed to lie-feed people. I don't feel like he's
like, annoyingly religious, personally.
Well, he's, he, we, there
was a montage of him. Look,
what we've learned this season, if there's a montage of anything,
it's gotten so bad in the house that the editors are like,
fuck it, let's just make it its own segment.
Because the racism, you didn't see a thing about it
until there was an entire montage about it, right?
Yeah, it's a great montage.
So we did get a Howard religious montage where he was like,
okay, now let's pray.
And his praying didn't make any sense.
The words he was using together didn't go together.
He would be like, God, I'd like to ask you for a fantastical cylindrical day.
It's like, what?
That's not a prayer.
That doesn't know what you're saying.
That's why he's not giving you what you want.
Jesus.
Learn the language, dude.
You're starting to sound like Aaron now.
Oh, yeah.
And it's because you're black.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do?
This is my black appreciation.
What you gonna do?
I'm Aaron.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do, girl?
Oh, I thought you were being Gina Marie.
You wanna see my black?
You want the black to come out?
You're bringing the black out?
You're bringing the black out?
She was terrible.
You want the black to come out?
She sort of acted like a penguin when she did that.
She sort of came out with her chest.
You want the black to come out?
You want the black?
You want the black?
I can't stop rotating.
I can't stop rotating.
Nick, Nick, where are you, Nick?
She's ridiculous.
And just to have that haggard, like, her eyes never close the same.
She's always like, like every screenshot, every time I pause it and it's on her, it's like,
showing some terrible pose.
She always looks like she just got banged in the back of an Annie Says.
just got banged in the back of an Annie Says.
So, just
to prove that we're not racist with Howard's
terrible, terrible speaking skills,
Gina Marie, that was another
montage that came through, which
was wonderful. I mean, this was a real...
The editors this year are really good.
They have so much to work with. Well, I'm telling
you, I love that there's this huge cast
because there's so much room for idiot behavior,
plus there's so much room for more fighting
because it's sort of what we were getting to before.
We thought it seemed like things might be simmering down,
but there's still so many people in the house,
plus there's so many girls too.
It's just like the fights just keep on blooming.
No compromisation on the casting there.
Yeah, the fights are going.
The girls are staying.
I think that every time you have this many girls,
it's just bound to get ugly.
I'm so, so happy.
I hope that no more girls go home.
I was actually kind of sad Caitlyn went home.
I mean, she does nothing,
and I probably won't even remember what she looks like tomorrow,
but she did get behind Aaron through a lot of nasty
shit, which I thought was really fun.
Yeah, I loved, honestly, I loved that, like,
second or third week when they were such
mean girls. Ugh, that was just a
brilliant TV. I loved it.
So, what's up with Julie just
being so out there now
with her feelings? Normally,
Julie is very reserved,
and I feel like lately she's like,
so, basically, everyone called you a mean girl,
you're a racist, you're a slut.
Anything else to add?
Okay, bye!
Thanks for coming on the show!
I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves,
but I think that Julie, her thing is that
if she doesn't reference these things,
if she doesn't call out these hated cast
members, CBS
is actually going to get shit for it. How could you
let the racist off the hook?
I'm totally glad she's doing it.
I think it's great that she's doing it. I just wish
she had always been like that. I feel like she's just
more ferocious than usual this year.
Oh yeah. No, I love it.
I love a ferocious Chen bot.
Yeah. I'm really enjoying it. You know, I love a ferocious Chen bot. You know? Yeah.
I'm really enjoying it.
My little...
By the way, Lisa Pierce says,
Ben, every time
you put that shmata on your head,
you look like my mother on a religious holiday.
Here's Gina Marie
at a bat mitzvah.
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Malcholam,
hot and cold frozen yogurt.
Amen.
Oh wait, don't forget.
Baruch atah Adonai.
Why?
I can't scream too loud.
I've got a new downstairs neighbor and she's like
hears every single thing and she
complains. Twelve years living in LA
never gotten a complaint about noise
but my new neighbor downstairs, well...
What is she complaining about? What's she saying? Is she sending you, like, letters?
About my music, generally, but I feel like if I start to do a Gina Marie yelling at 11.15, like a,
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Bye! Oh, well. You know what I say? Fuck it.
I live in a bungalow, and you know it's like your own place.
It feels like your own house, which is kind of cool,
but it's not at all because the next house is like this far from your house,
like the bedrooms or like whatever.
Everything's like this.
You're separated by a foot.
Don't be complaining about me.
I have listened to you have sex.
I heard when your nieces came over and were like jumping all over the place screaming. I heard
when you dropped your remote control on the ground.
Like, shut up. I can do whatever I want in here.
Exactly. That's what I feel like.
Alright, so
now let's move on to Wednesday's show
on Big Brother.
And we had
so the first thing I think that
happened, the first significant thing that happened
was that Spencer and Howard realized
they were sort of on the outs.
Why not align with Gina Marie and Caitlin
because they're on the outs too,
which was actually a smart idea.
Where they went wrong, though,
is that they brought Judd into the loop.
And if you ask me,
obviously it turned out to be a very dumb decision. Why do you think they included Judd into the loop. And if you ask me, obviously it turned out to be a very dumb decision.
Why do you think they included Judd?
Because they're just too nice.
They're dumb.
They're just too nice,
and they're just fucking stupid.
I mean, it's like,
let's have a secret and tell everybody.
Spencer is not too nice, by the way.
Spencer is an asshole.
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Black is beautiful.
Well, I've heard that.
See, that's the thing.
Well, I've heard that.
See, that's the thing.
For my enjoyment, I don't watch live feeds because I'm an addictive personality,
and I cannot be sitting there all damn day, and I will be.
I'll be like, oh, my God, Ben, did you see her?
She cut her toenails and didn't even put it in the bathtub.
It's on the floor.
I get really upset, so I can't do that. And also, I like to be surprised, you know?
So I don't watch the live feeds, but
you get such a skewed image
of what these people are.
You remember when Evil Dick was on this show?
Well, he was on twice, but especially the first time.
I mean, he was vile.
And they showed him being completely
just vile.
Like, just gross.
Okay? But then the stuff they
apparently have on the live feeds was like
how is he not in prison you know
I didn't understand how he wasn't getting kicked out
so you really miss a lot of it when
having the live feeds yeah they can only
show so much but we have some updates that
just came in on our Facebook page facebook.com
forward slash watch what crap happens
okay so Emmy says
Andy is in a secret alliance with Judd
Amanda and McCray and Kaylin thought he was on her side and he was lying to everybody Okay, so Emmy says, Andy is in a secret alliance with Judd, Amanda, and McRae,
and Kaylin thought he was on her side,
and he was lying to everybody,
and all the girls were like,
he's so nice when he's scheming.
He was also making fun of Howard.
Not racists.
Okay, now Renee Warsaw says,
I could not find clips from the feeds,
but Alyssa Meltdown started out with her reaction
to Amanda's Dom Matrix performance.
The one-piece bathing suit was just the start.
Thanks.
The next day, she went off on McCray and Andy
because they thought she was making fun of her religion
when they were just trying to tell her to keep her voice down.
It was an insane response.
Then she went off-roading
from her alliance to get Caitlin
to fess up to being in an alliance in which
Arianne over her... Okay, so we heard that on
TV. Alright.
So she's basically
just cracking slowly but surely.
So who raised her
and Rachel? I mean,
is it she and Rachel? No, who raised
her and Rachel? Like, did they have parents?
What was that like?
Were they, like, left in front of a church
when they were just little babies
and adopted by someone who really likes Play-Doh
and taught them how to, like, mutilate their faces?
Like, who are these girls raised by?
I want to meet them.
I want them to be my big brother.
They were raised by, I think, like,
a Vitamix blender and a spatula.
I think that's the parenting skills that are involved with these two women.
You know what?
I think I just came up with a brilliant spinoff, or actually maybe just a season,
but a Big Brother season where it's all the parents of the most popular players.
Ooh, you know, I love old people on reality shows.
That could be some good shit.
That would be excellent shit.
Okay, so they started this alliance,
and then we found out that America had voted,
America as MVP,
voted for Alyssa to be the third nominee.
Okay, so now, oh, Lisa asked a good question.
What is Alyssa's religion?
She's Christian, right?
Isn't that what they said on the show?
Yes.
That she's like trying to be a good Christian.
Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt you.
Damn Facebook.
No.
So we had this MVP stuff, and it was like, oh my God, who's MVP?
Who's MVP?
And actually, Helen figured it out immediately.
She figured out exactly how it was working, but no one else actually understood.
And so Alyssa was MVP.
And then everyone thought that Alyssa
had actually was the MVP
and nominated herself to throw suspicion off herself,
which is the dumbest thing
that we've ever heard on this season.
Well, who came up with it?
Caitlyn.
I mean, she's not the brightest bulb on the tree, you know?
What did she do that?
Maybe her brain was still frozen over
from too much frozen yogurt.
It was hot and cold.
I was so confused.
Nick, why can't there be one temperature ice cream?
Nick, why?
Okay, so it was America.
So this is like the UK version, right?
Because this is how they do it over there.
Doesn't America vote who gets kicked off on that version?
Yeah.
So since apparently, I guess,
clearly since America keeps on voting out,
I mean, voting for Alyssa to be MVP,
Big Brother is like, okay, we've got to change this up,
which is why we were actually America's
MVP the second week in a row, which is
I don't mind. I like it, but I
liked also that there was someone in the house who was MVP.
I did too. I think that added another
layer to it, because this way
well, I guess I still don't know that
America is choosing, and it did cause some
good drama this week with them all trying to figure out
who it was. Nobody trusted each other.
So I thought that part of it was really good, but I don't know.
America's just kind of stupid.
We got a tweet the other day that was saying,
duh, America is so stupid, they didn't understand the rules,
and they thought they were voting for Alyssa to be MVP,
but they actually were voting for her to get on the block.
And you responded, well, maybe it's just Aaron's fans that are voting for her.
What do you think?
Do you think that America really is stupid and they thought they were voting for Alyssa to get something good?
I think it's both.
I think America is definitely stupid,
and I think that
Arian's fans probably... I don't think that
Arian is not that she had her fans, but probably
all of Alyssa's fans that paid
attention probably voted for Arian, and
then all those votes were discounted.
So who knows? The people who don't like Rachel
may be voted in. Oh, that's true.
I hope that this week, America
does not nominate
Alyssa. I hope it's, like, someone good.
I hope it's not, like, Gina Marie, because
I want the household to be pointing
fingers, like, who
nominated Spencer? You know, something like that.
I want them to do that.
Who nominated Spencer?
Maybe Amanda. If
America votes for Amanda to go up, oh,
wow, that would be amazing. Amazing.
Well, that is going to be amazing,
because the first crack she started to see in Alyssa
was when the tide turned
against her, right? And it was just like
Rachel. You remember Rachel was so
fun, and she was like
a bimbo and a total moron, but
I mean, her first scene
was like, I'm a chemist!
And she was like in a bikini with a beaker
or some shit. Like, how can you not love that?
You know? And so you're rooting for her,
and the second it flips, it's like,
Grab a life vest!
Turn into a monster.
And so, it needs to turn against every one of them to see how they'll react.
And watching Alyssa is great.
And that's a slow, slow boil.
I can't wait for that flower to bloom.
Amanda is not going to be a slow boil at all.
Amanda is going to go into witch hunt.
First of all, she's going to accuse Howard of being MVP.
She's like, you did this, didn't you?
You did this. I also love, by the way,
just fast forward, when there
was the little
town meeting on
tonight's episode, and they're like, oh, all
we're missing are McCray and Amanda, and they cut to
Amanda just mounting
McCray on the bed.
One thigh here, one thigh there.
Boom! Boom!
Boom!
It's like Stone Cold Steve Austin
meets Cinemax
meets Long Island.
That poor guy.
I mean, I've seen whipped guys,
but that guy is just like
a slave.
Poor thing.
He's going to be destroyed.
So anyway, then we have the veto competition
and Alyssa won. Poor thing. He's going to be destroyed. So anyway, so then we have the veto competition,
and Alyssa won.
She took herself off the block, right?
Am I missing anything so far?
She took herself off the block, and Judd had to go.
I guess you are missing something,
because that dumbass, in order to take herself off of the block,
she had to take a card that says she will not be playing next week at all in the veto.
She's not allowed to play in the veto.
Oh, she's really screwed this week.
She's screwed.
And now she's having like a damn fool.
So she's going to get put on the block because Aaron is head of household.
So she's going to be on the block.
And I think that people are going to get rid of her.
I think they will, actually.
I think this actually, she escaped a lot.
But unless Helen wins, I think she's done. I think she will, actually. I think this actually... She's had a... She escaped a lot, but unless Helen wins,
I think she's done.
I think she's totally done.
Well, but she even kind of screwed over Helen
because she went and told Caitlin
their big plan, so...
Well, we'll get to that in a moment.
Mom forgives, but she does not forget.
No, she does not.
So anyway...
So Power Vita, poor Judd gets locked in a room for 24 hours
with a buzzer going off every nine minutes.
That's just, like, cruel.
Like, at a certain point, I mean, big brother, like, come on.
Don't be that mean.
Yeah.
It's funny.
I just felt bad for the guy.
Say it again.
I was reading the Facebook.
No, Judd just being in, like, a snooze alone.
Judd, I just feel like, God bless it.
They can't rig something like that that we saw
because they were digging through the mud.
Wasn't that the one where they were digging through the mud for shit?
So they were digging through the mud.
So obviously that one was not rigged.
I think a lot of us think a lot of these are rigged.
But I do think that it was an attempt to just make him do something.
I mean, Jesus Christ, that guy is so lame.
He is really lame.
And he's so stupid.
He should be like the perfect combination of like stupid and cute.
He's just like, well, at home, we farm frogs and we cut the legs off for dinner.
thawing frogs, and we cut the legs off for dinner.
What?
Do you serve them hot, or cold, or buzz?
Nah.
You want to see my frog come out?
You want to see my frog come out?
You want to see my frog?
You want to see my frog?
Oh, no.
It's happening again.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, I'm back, I'm back.
I'm back.
So, poor Judd. So, Judd had...
Judd's really talking like he wants to play a big game.
Judd, you put up the most hated people in the house.
You made no decision on your own.
That was really not much of a game.
No, that was actually
a classic floater head of household week for him.
And then, so I think that, so then ultimately,
Alyssa took herself off and Gina Marie went up instead.
Oh, no, so here's the best part.
This is what we missed.
Alyssa is nominated for the MVP nomination.
And she's so pissed and and she's doing the dishes,
and Gina Marie comes up,
and is like,
hey, feel better.
He's like, feel better, toots.
Feel better.
And Alyssa's just like,
could you just stop?
Could you just stop?
Stop it.
Like, can you just go away?
Thanks.
I'm not obsessed with you.
Could you go?
Yeah, stop it. I'm not obsessed-a. I'm not obsessed with you. Could you go? Yeah, stop it.
I'm not obsessed-a.
I'm not obsessed-a.
And, like, even though Gina Marie is the biggest idiot
and she's even racist or whatever,
I actually felt genuinely bad for her
because she just was coming over.
And this girl just...
This is another seed of Alyssa's bitchiness coming out.
She's like, let's just stop it.
You know?
Yeah.
And, like, Gina Marie...
I will say this.
There's a weird part of me that sort of likes
Gina Marie. There's some sort of
stupid, wide-eyed
innocence about her. Like, yes,
wildly racist, wildly
stupid,
disgusting, stage-five
clinger, perhaps a stalker,
but a little sweet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, look, you know, one of the best things about Big Brother to me is their contestant choosing.
Because they're not like, I feel like a lot of shows, you know, they're, yeah.
I like their contestant choosing.
Well, we're talking about Gina Marie.
Yeah.
Contestant choosing.
Well, we're talking about Gina Marie.
Yeah.
But I really like how they cast,
because they really do go for the lowest common denominator.
It's like, who's at home watching this three nights a week?
People who ain't doing nothing, like us.
They're just basically knocking on doors.
A lot of these things are just cast in Hollywood. I know a guy who was supposed to be on Survivor, and he
was a shirtless model in front of Abercrombie.
Someone just came up to him and was like, you want to be on Survivor?
I'm a casting director.
That's how that show's cast. This one,
they knock on trailer doors, and they're like,
anybody need a half a million
dollars? I'm like, what do I got to do?
What do I got to do?
That's what makes it fun.
Project Runway just started last week,
and I was just getting caught up on that,
because that show, it's like you never know
if that's going to be good or terrible.
But this one, they finally figured it out.
They just picked the poorest, gayest, crazy people they could find.
Normally, some of them are classy.
These are all homeless people.
You can smell them from the couch.
There's a drag queen who
wears a shawl and big red hair
and he just wants hairspray. He doesn't even care.
He doesn't need the sewing machine.
He doesn't need the MacBook or
whatever they give, the HP Envy or whatever
they give him. He just wants
hairspray and a new pashmina.
You know?
So anyway, he had a big brother for white trash.
Yeah.
So poor Gina Marie bore the brunt of Alyssa's wrath there for a moment.
I'll swear.
I'll swear on the Bible.
I'll swear on the Bible.
Please don't.
That's tacky.
But isn't that how you get a bully every single time?
Because Gina Marie, like, just to your point that she's actually nice,
the reason I kind of agree with that is because really the racist stuff that she was saying,
like, you want me to bring the black out and all that, like, yeah, that's ghetto,
but it's also kind of Staten Island.
Sorry, Staten.
Well.
I live there.
I can say that.
Unfortunately, I wish it were just as simple as that,
but Gina Marie actually, she dropped the N-word in a really nasty way. I live there. I can say that. Unfortunately, I wish it were just as simple as that,
but Gina Marie actually, she dropped the N-word in a really nasty way.
She did?
Oh, wait, but don't tell me that yet,
because I want to make my other point first,
so it just doesn't stop at that.
But I think in that particular instance, she was just blindly sticking up for her idiot girlfriend.
It's like girls have this thing where once they click,
that's it. I mean, they will
go to war over the dumbest
things against other people
just because one of them got mad at somebody
else, and so they'll all go after that other person.
So, I think she was kind of being
sweet in a way. She was just trying to be a loyal friend
with her racism, you guys.
Well, unfortunately for you, Ronnie,
she was caught on camera talking about,
I guess, I think it was that Candace and Howard
are sticking together.
It's like N-word insurance.
Wow.
Meanwhile, we also forgot to mention,
you're just like...
I just forgot about that one
because I remember that,
and I'm horrified that I could just forgive that.
I think that's what watching reality TV does.
It's like, you can just forgive everything.
Yeah.
Like, oh, George Zimmerman, oh, but that's over.
That was last season.
Who cares?
Give him a job.
Some sort of contraption just floated into your screen right there.
It looks like it's got some sort of a sponge on it.
This is my mic.
This is your dog.
Get a mic. And your dog's back there. It looks like it's got some sort of a sponge on it. This is my mic.
Geto mic.
Bueller!
Hi, Bueller.
That's Bueller.
Is he so cute?
Is he distracting you? I can move the camera.
No, no, no. I think he's adorable.
Bueller, you're so cute. I love your long body,
Bueller. Oh, my God.
You know, we also didn't mention that Aaron got into a fight with Caitlyn and Gina Marie.
Aaron was like, guys, I think Jed wants to put up a girl this week.
Gina Marie was like, what?
No, no.
I don't know.
That's not the weekend we're about.
I don't like the way you're talking to me.
I don't like the way you're talking to me.
No, no, no, no.
He's going to pop a girl.
I don't know.
We don't know what he's going to do.
I don't know.
Why are you talking to me like that?
I don't appreciate that. You like how I have Gina Marie. I don't know. We don't know what he's going to do. I don't know. Why are you talking to me like that? I don't appreciate that.
You like how I have Gina Marie on a cell phone even though they don't have cell phones?
But then her mind is going.
I think she was just like picking her nails.
She was just like, she was like, no, well, it's not going to happen.
No.
Well, I don't know.
Maybe there will be a compromisation.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But stupid Aaron.
Stupid Aaron.
I don't like how you're talking to me.
What are you talking to me like that for?
What is your problem?
What?
Why?
Huh?
I feel like I'm being discriminated against for being pretty again.
We're in the minority.
And I love that they showed her saying that she's a minority like three more times.
Another great.
So anyway, okay.
So now we are up to tonight's episode.
And I was surprised.
I did not think that there would be so much drama,
but there was actually, it was like a full-on,
like there was good drama.
So basically, I think where it began was that Judd,
being the Weasley floater,
people love Judd, but he is totally like the,
he has no backbone.
And he decided to out his new alliance with Howard and Caitlin and all of them.
And he told, who did he tell?
Was it Helen and Amanda?
I don't know.
He told some people on the couches there.
Do you remember who he told?
No.
Either way, he outed it.
He outed the alliance because they were debating,
do we get rid of Arian or do we get rid of Caitlyn?
Oh, he was telling Helen and, I don't know, it was just the regular crew.
Like, once they're in a team, I'm just like, eh, I get bored.
Like, most people really show some solidarity.
I'm like, whatever.
You're good people.
Shut up.
I'm not listening.
Yeah, exactly.
So then they're like, oh my God,
Caitlin is more of a threat than we realize
because she's smart and she's been working with,
you know, the other side of the house.
And on top of that...
Meanwhile, how Caitlin's real smart thing went down was
they were like, hey, come here, girl.
You want to be in our club?
And she's like, okay.
Yeah, she's a real fucking mastermind
that one. I know, exactly.
Meanwhile,
Erin had been doing her
best to take
things, to get the heat off of her. She was doing a
smear campaign against Caitlyn. And then she tells
Helen, she's like, okay,
if you save me,
I will do anything.
I won't win HOH. I won't like win HOH
I won't nominate anyone blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah it was like
the fakest worst
deal that could not be backed up by anything
and Helen's like well this is an
interesting deal it changes everything
a little bit now and I'm like Helen
what are you talking about
it's like such classic BS like
if you save me I won't put you up for the
next two weeks. Oh no, I know. Okay. So that brings us back to Facebook, which is really
active today. Love it. Even though Ben is probably hating me for staring at it so much. No, I love
it. No, no, I'm totally listening to you. I'm totally hearing you. Um, one thing is Lisa,
one thing is Lisa,
let me start with Lisa Pierce,
she wanted us to bring up that,
God, there's just so much,
there's so much,
where she wanted to bring up that Aaron said,
without my face, I'm useless,
which, okay, yes,
and that's so true, and at least she has the,
what am I trying to say,
self-awareness,
to know that,
so a couple of updates.
Candice is also a stage five clinger on Howard.
Okay, that's going to be fun
watching her turn into a stalker.
And Renee, where's Renee?
They asked the diary room
if it was possible to nominate yourself
and they said yes, it was possible.
So everyone spent the whole week thinking,
well, let's nominate yourself.
And then Renee has another one.
After the show tonight,
Helen immediately got with Aaron
to reinforce Aaron's promise
to let Helen and Alyssa pick HOH nominees.
So Helen is like so stupid.
Meanwhile, Alyssa is wailing like Gina Marie
that she is going on the block
and can't play POV.
Amanda is pushing for Howard or Candace to go up.
What is with her?
Amanda, Jesus!
Jesse literally scissored Aaron. Not sure why.
And all hell has broken out
for who will be the nominees.
That's great. I wouldn't be surprised, actually,
if Aaron went after Amanda
and McCray. Honestly.
Or maybe she'll go after
Amanda and Alyssa. If she were
smart, she'd put up Amanda and Alyssa.
Alyssa because she cannot play for Vito,
and also because she knows that Alyssa hates her.
And Amanda because Amanda's running the show.
Yeah.
Sort of.
I don't know.
Erin's not really known for her brains,
but I think that if she knows that Alyssa wants her out,
but she also knows that Alyssa's always one step from being out
anyway, so I think you're right. I think it would be
kind of a waste for her to use it on that.
You know, they say
big brother, expect the unexpected.
But this season, it really
has been. I mean, every week, whoever's gone
home, I wasn't expecting them to go home.
Yeah, I was not. I thought tonight was going to be Aaron's moment
for sure. So, okay.
Anyway, Judd
tells about the moving company at 2.0
and then Helen
goes and she tells Amanda and Alyssa
in the storage room, she's like, okay,
there's this other alliance.
We have to blindside Caitlin.
Don't tell a single
person. But here is,
herein lies the rub because
Alyssa has her own
agenda, which is she wants to get Aaron out,
because she and Aaron hate each other.
And so, Alyssa doesn't
give a fuck about this other alliance.
She's like, I want to get Aaron out
as soon as possible. So she goes,
she goes up to Caitlin
in the kitchen, and she's like,
hey, thanks for doing the dishes.
Have you heard this rumor that I'm obsessed with? she's like, hey, thanks for doing the dishes. Have you heard this rumor that
I'm obsessed with? It's about, this rumor is about how you are working with Howard and Sponsor.
And so Caitlin's like, what? No, of course not. And then Alyssa's like, well, someone's been
spreading that rumor. I think it's, I think it's Aaron. So Aaron. So then that's when all hell goes to
because of course Aaron hears the
entire thing which is just perfect.
That's perfect big brother. And Aaron
goes to Helen, right? And Aaron
says, why did Alyssa just
tell this to Caitlin?
I love that Aaron
treats Alyssa like she's
the maid. Like everything she wants
done she asks somebody else to tell her. She's like, will you please tell Lola that when she's the maid. Like, everything she wants done, she asks somebody else to tell her.
She's like, will you please tell Lola
that when she cleans the bathroom,
she needs to get under the seat as well,
because I'm not an idiot.
I lift the seat, and I can see that there's pee on it.
So, thanks. Tell her that.
And tell me what she says.
And not in Spanish,
because I'm not going to find that amusing.
Text me.
No hablo Spanish.
So then Helen goes and
confronts Alyssa and is like, did you tell this to
Caitlin? And Alyssa's like, no, I
absolutely did not say
anything, but thanks for
asking.
So then Alyssa's like full on
lying at that point. And then they bring in Caitlin
and Caitlin's like, no, I'm not in line.
So then Caitlyn's lying.
And then like everyone is suddenly just like lying in this room.
And then they're like, well, let's bring in everyone.
So then all of a sudden we have this little house meeting that's going on.
And it's like, well, Alyssa, who told you about this?
She's like, well, I'm not going to say.
It was like the least honest house meeting of all time.
And then somehow, you know, Alyssa and Aaron started getting into it.
They started fighting again because Aaron was actually being truthful in that moment
and was like, why are you starting shit about me?
But again, it's like dumb girls fighting.
Okay, who do you want to be, Alyssa or Aaron?
I'll be Alyssa.
Okay.
Alyssa, I just don't understand why you're talking about me
I'm not talking about you
Yes you are, but you are
There's a big difference
about talking about you and talking to you
and I'm not talking to you or about you
But you're talking about, I'm so sick of it
Whatever, why?
Why are you doing that?
Well I'm not, but thanks for asking
because it's nice that you take an interest in why I'm talking about
things, but I wasn't talking about
you at all, and you should hear the full
story. You should ask me
about what I'm talking about you about
before you go and talk about
me talking about you to other people.
You lie more than a Mexican on a job application.
Actually,
I don't lie at all.
You're the one who lies.
Thanks.
No offense.
Well, tell whoever's social security number you stole, I said, sorry.
Aaron is just so stupid, and that fight was just like two dumb girls going, uh-uh, you did.
Nuh-uh, you did.
Exactly.
Nuh-uh, you did.
Nuh-uh, you did.
Well, that's what I love about this season,
which is that, like, okay, we got rid of Jeremy,
and, like, their awful alliance has crumbled,
but now we come on to the next phase of conflict,
which is going to be the crystallization
or further crystallization of Alyssa and Aaron.
And, by the way, have you noticed that Alyssa and Aaron,
neither of their names are spelled
the way they sound.
It's like, you have Aaron
and
Elisa, but they're not
actually pronounced that way.
Just a
thought for people to think about,
because I know it would be fascinating.
My sister did that. That's like a new
kind of boring white person trend that's going on.
It's like name your baby something kind of normal,
but spell it really weird.
It's like that's what my sister is doing.
And the phone is like auto-correcting.
She's like, why are you misspelling their names?
I'm like, it's auto-correct.
You're misspelling their names.
Do you understand?
It's not me.
You don't have to spell your damn kids' names.
So, okay, so ultimately,
Caitlin was voted out, right?
Yeah.
And then she goes and she meets with Julie,
and Julie's like, you know, just so you know,
America thought you and Deena Marie and Aaron were mean girls.
And Caitlin's like, what?
She's totally shocked.
She's like, what?
Come on, guys.
Guys, you guys are such losers like those losers in high school.
Oh, my God, I'm not a mean girl, but you guys seriously never talk to me.
Too pretty for all of you fat people in the audience.
Well, what's up with her?
Well, I'd be with her on that.
Big Brother has a snack
for getting some of the
homeliest audience members.
Oh, yeah.
Remember when Oprah
made people dress up
and everyone was like,
how dare she?
And Oprah was like,
no, you have to have a shirt
and you have to fit in a seat
and you have to comb your hair.
And people were like,
how dare she?
Nice trend, Oprah.
Yeah, Big Brother, not so much.
Different channel.
Yeah.
So anyway, so Caitlin is shocked that she was a mean girl.
And then I loved when Julia was like,
so, are you going to meet up with Jeremy?
She's like, you know, yeah, I'm sure someday.
It was just like, well, so you's like, so you're going to Vegas?
Is Jeremy to come too?
She's like, well, you know, he can do what he wants to do.
I don't know.
Yeah, she is not like, she turned out to be the player in that relationship.
Yeah.
She's like, oh, my God, I'm totally going to marry her.
I love her.
She's beautiful.
She's like.
Yeah, she's like, um, no.
She's like, I'm super um no she's like I'm super
backing away
she's like
I'm super famous now
so I'm gonna go
try to date Taylor Kitsch
oh my god
so what
are there any
like people
from Big Brother
who got kicked off
in the beginning
like these losers
who actually
became anything
other than
sad
no right
no
no they're just
super sad
um always sad um let's see so then she's voted off thing other than sad? No, right? No, they're just super sad.
They're just always sad.
Let's see. So then she's voted off, and then we
had a head of household, and Aaron
won head of household. I have to say, I was secretly
happy, because even
though I hate Aaron, it's always
good to keep the villain in the house as long as
possible. Yeah, there are so many
crazies in this house that need to stay.
Alyssa, like I said, it's way too early to see that crazy go.
Erin is causing so much crap.
Love her.
Gina Marie, I hope she just falls in love with any penis around
and sobs when they get kicked off.
I mean, there's just so many great characters.
Yeah.
This is the point where all the ones you haven't seen yet suddenly start
coming through because there's no one
else to show, so we get to start seeing other people's
crazy. I'm kind of rooting for Andy
to turn into a terrible homosexual at this
point, just so I can laugh.
I think we're going to start seeing more of Jesse
soon. I think Jesse has been,
on any other cast, Jesse would have
been the star annoying person.
Annoying, clingy, bitchy, all that stuff.
But she's been outshined by all these other people.
But I think she's going to step into her own right now.
I think we're going to see some good conflict, and I'm very excited about that.
Yeah, when Jessie's, one of her first things that she said this season was,
other girls hate me because I'm so pretty.
They're, like, so jealous.
Like, they notoriously hate me.
I was like, oh my God,
I'm going to love her.
Yeah.
And she hasn't really done anything but eat.
Yeah,
exactly.
She's,
she's trying to make herself be more approachable for other women.
So it's just like,
I've got to put on some fat.
I guess so.
It just makes me think of the preview of the first season of the L world.
When Laura Linney says,
you can't be fat and miserable. No, you can't be fat and miserable.
No, you can't be fat
and mean.
You have to be
nice.
Okay, so getting ready for next week, who
do you think is going to be put up? Let's make
our bets. Alyssa
and
I think Alyssa
and Amanda I think actually could
I think that's what it could be.
I think it would be Alyssa and Amanda.
I don't think she's going to put up Helen
because she seems to have had some sort of
mild bonding with Helen
or she might be vindictive
and put up Judd but I think it'll be Alyssa
and Amanda. I think she's going to want to break up Amanda Judd, but I think it'll be Alyssa and Amanda.
I think she's going to want to break up Amanda and McCray.
I can see that happening.
Okay, I'm going to say that she's going to put up Howard and Candace just because those are the most obvious racist choices.
Yeah, that's true. What am I thinking?
But she was called out for being a racist,
so she probably won't do that, but I don't know.
I like when someone really just sticks to their character traits,
no matter what.
She might put up Howard and Candace and say,
well, you guys are like a duo, and Howard, you're powerful.
But I think she's going to put up Alyssa,
because Alyssa is obviously gunning for her.
I mean, it would make sense for her to put up Alyssa.
Well, we actually haven't even talked about Candace and Howard.
What do you think about that?
They're like a couple now?
They're doing it, or what?
Yeah, they're like a couple. Candice does really
nothing in the show. She's another one
who, you know, she had her moment, but
we're going to see a lot more of Candice, I'm sure.
A lot more interesting stuff from her.
She's going to bring the blackout,
as Gina Marie would say.
You want me to bring the blackout?
You want me to bring the blackout?
Hey, Nick. Hey, Nick.
Want me to bring the Staten Island out? Want me to bring the blackout? Hey, Nick. Hey, Nick, want me to bring the Staten Island
out? Want me to bring the boobs out, Nick?
Hey, Nick, they're coming out. They're coming
out. Nick!
Doesn't even make sense.
Oh, poor, poor Gina Marie.
I cannot wait till she comes out.
The first eviction episode
of this season, the audience
was reacting. When people
were placing their votes, the audience was like, here people were placing their votes, the audience would hear a
boo, and they put the kibosh on that
halfway through. It kind of
upsets me, because I love in the UK when they
get kicked out, and they come out, and people boo
them. I was watching
this, I've only seen one season, it was
Celebrity Big Brother over there, and Tara Reid was
on it. And over there,
you don't play like over here. Here, you're
scheming against each other. You're trying to
trick people into being on your team
and getting people. There you're just living in a house
and the country is voting.
So it's not the same.
You don't have to scheme. You just basically have
to not get hated by the country, right?
Well, stupid Tara Reid's like,
that girl? Let's get that girl kicked
off. I don't believe in her.
I don't like what she's up to.
And the Brits were like, uh-uh.
And when she came off of that show, she got booed so hard.
I mean, everybody booed her.
And she was like, and the host was like, so, you know, it's all right.
It's all right.
She's like, they're booing me.
And he's like, yeah.
And she's like, well, I really don't appreciate how you guys edited me.
She hadn't even seen the show, but she was already blaming the editing.
Love it.
Well, also, the big brother over there is, like, so malicious.
The episode that I saw was when Spencer and Heidi were on,
and there was this woman who was on.
They're all celebrities, and she was some British celebrity,
and she wanted a letter from home so badly, so, so, so badly.
And then they were all given letters from home.
But then someone was called, and it was like,
please select a number of priority or whatever.
So someone goes in there, and it's like, okay, well, this woman, she's number one.
She wants to read her letter first, so we're going to put her number one.
And they go all the way down
and they put Spencer and Heidi at the bottom of the list.
And they go, congratulations.
You have selected the order
in which the letters will be destroyed.
It was like each person has to complete a task
and if they don't,
then another letter will be destroyed.
And so Heidi and Spencer,
it was like they asked them to
not hang out in the same room,
and they're like, no, we want to be in the same room.
They're like, alright, then another has to be destroyed.
And they destroyed
this poor woman's letter that she wanted
to read so badly.
It was amazing.
Those letters from home always crack me up,
because I imagine what mine would be like. Mine would be
like, you owe us money.
Mom. Mine would be like,
why are you on this show?
What are you doing with your life?
The famous
quote I always tell people is that one time
I was watching Jersey Shore and I was
forcing my mom to watch it and my dad walked in and my
mom just turned to my dad and goes,
our son has declined.
Like, that's it.
I'm like, yes, Mom, I have.
Yeah, it's a pretty sad world.
My mom watches, like, serial killer shows, though.
Like, that's how she goes to sleep.
She turns on shows where, like,
people are getting murdered and screaming and stuff.
So, whatever.
I'll stick with the Housewives.
At least their screaming is entertaining.
They're not getting dismembered.
Yeah. All right, so let getting dismembered. Yeah.
All right.
So let's wrap this bullshit.
Yeah.
Nice.
So our parents hate us.
The end.
The end.
All right.
Well, another fun time.
Thanks, everyone, for listening and watching.
Thank you to all the people on Joker's Updates who've been supporting our show.
We definitely appreciate that.
Yeah.
Thanks, you guys.
Also, thanks for everybody on Facebook for coming
out to play. Renee,
Emmy, Lisa,
Mandelette.
You know who you are. There's like 10 of you on there right now.
So thank you guys for coming out.
We are also on a new YouTube page right now.
So if you're watching this not live,
sorry to change that up on you,
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So come on by. and we will be back next
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Okay, everybody, thanks so much.
See you later! Bye! I'm going to go. We'll be right back. Liza Slicinger. Slicinger. I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there,
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