Watch What Crappens - The TV Clique: Big Brother - Week 6 in Review
Episode Date: August 2, 2013Watch What Crappens and TheTVClique podcasts have consolidated! You can now join us for all things Bravo and...other stuff. This summer that other stuff is Big Brother 15. Ben Mandelker (bsid...eblog) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) joined up live to talk crap about week 6 of BB. It was a fluid, penis, and racism filled hour. On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 On Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens/ Matt on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lifeonthemlist and twitter http://www.twitter.com/lifeonthemlist Ronnie on Instagram: http:www.instagram.com/trashtalktv and twitter: http://www.twitter.com/trashtweettv Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog and twitter http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Our Sites: http://www.bsideblog.com http://www.trashtalktv.com http://www.yahoo.com We're live every Thursday night at 10:30 Pacific time, after eviction. You can chat with us live on our Facebook page. Thanks for being here! Enjoy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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You're a little bit racist.
Well, you're a little bit too.
I guess we're both a little bit racist. Well, you're a little bit too. I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.
But I guess it's true.
Between me and you, I think everyone's a little bit racist sometimes.
Welcome to the TV Click Big Brother.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com.
And I'm joined by Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV.
Hey, Ronnie.
Hi.
And Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, a little website called Yahoo.
What's up, Matt?
At least you didn't call it Google this week.
Thank you.
Oh, hi.
Thank God.
Yeah, a little tiny niche site.
Yeah.
Yeah, so we are here to talk about, is it week six, right?
Week six of Big Brother, a week in review.
Real quickly, we are the TV Click.
Right now, our Facebook page is Watch
What Crap Is, and Ronnie's at
Trash Tweet TV. Matt's
at Life on the M List. I'm at B-Side
Blog, Twitter, Instagram, Vine.
You can find us anywhere. So let's just
jump right into Big Brother,
shall we not? Love it!
Yes, please.
And also, let's give a big shout-out to all our friends at Joker's Updates, who are so supportive of this webcast and helping getting it off the ground.
So thank you, everyone.
Yeah, thanks, you guys.
All right.
Thanks, everyone.
Where to begin?
Where do we begin with this set of Jokers, speaking of Joker's Updates?
Well, we began this week with Aaron taking head of household.
We joked last week, when we found out the bitch was taking over,
that she was going to have the black people on the block.
And sure enough, she had the black people on the block.
She got them both right on up there.
Right on up there.
My God.
Yeah, she's pretty obvious with the way she operates.
Jesse's lucky that she's so stupid
and doesn't know what race Jesse is, because
her ass would be up there too if she knew the minority.
Yeah. Well,
it's interesting because on the surface
you would think this is a case of white power
being in power, but actually
Aaron was taking cues from
a minority, which is shocking for a racist.
Let's cut to the chase and just say that Helen is the mastermind right now,
and between her and Amanda, they are running the entire house.
And if people want to complain, point your fingers in those directions.
Well, Amanda is controlling the house for now,
but I think her tenure, she's starting to run out of time.
America has turned on her.
It's only a matter of time before the rest of the house does too.
Well, let's jump back again, like Ronnie was saying,
to Aaron taking head of household.
I was pissed because I am forever team Alyssa,
and so I was nervous immediately.
I thought, oh, fuck, here we go again.
Alyssa's going to be in trouble.
That poor girl is always in the hot seat.
But luckily, Aaron didn't touch her.
What did you guys think initially as soon as Aaron
won the challenge?
Oh, I thought Alyssa and Helen were going
up. I thought she was going to back out on
that deal like
100%. I did
too, but she really needs those people on her
side because she's got nobody, and she knows
that. The thing is, she's not going to have
anybody next week either.
Something that has kind of developed, though, this
week is that we are seeing this racist
shit with other cast members,
and so it's kind of taking Aaron
off the burner, because we're used
to her.
Off the proverbial burning cross, if you
will.
Well, let's not forget that
earlier today, I want to say it was brought to my attention
on the amazing Big Brother Bravoholics Facebook page, which I am fully immersed in.
But it was brought to my attention today that Erin did sit up in the HOH room, and she looked at the TV screen, and she did see Candice, and she did say once again, oh, hey, Aunt Jemima, go make me some pancakes.
Oh, my goodness.
It's back.
Racist Aaron is back.
My God, and also I love that you said
Aunt Jemima, like she's a classy
East Coaster. No.
Is she
classier than Mrs. Buttersworth?
How does that all work?
They have a long-standing rivalry, that's for sure.
And no one emerges from it classy.
You know what would be amazing? If Lee
Daniels presented a new movie called
Lee Daniels Presents on Jemima.
Well, I love that that's
the only black... Oh, go ahead.
I'd say Tyler Perry could do Mrs. Buttersworth.
And that could be a battle
of black directors with
black iconic syrups.
And everyone dies of AIDS.
In a now classic
Tyler Perry twist.
Slash Lee Daniels twist, too, by the way.
With Janet Jackson with a
really butch haircut, but she's straight.
Yes.
Tons of hot guys. Tons of hot black guys.
So Howard's got a new job.
He's going to be in the Angemon story.
He'll probably end up making out with
Morris Chestnut. Who doesn't love some chestnut?
I would like to see
a Morris Chestnut meets
Boris Kojo sort of situation
with perhaps Lance What's-His-Face
from Temptation.
Yeah, I know a lot of these actors.
Yeah, no kidding.
Get us out of your spank bank for five seconds.
I'm sorry. No black
people are named Lance.
I think that it's hilarious that Aaron's
only reference was the story
he has on his table.
What? I said, so we have Aaron here on the
podcast. Matt says, there's no black people named
Lance. There are.
Just like there's no white people. I mean, whatever.
Yeah, just stop there. Just stop.
Just quit while you're slightly behind.
Yeah.
But I think it's funny that her only black reference
is something she's seen on the breakfast table.
She can't even come up with a creative black reference.
I mean, at least give us an Oprah.
Like, there is...
Aunt Jemima, really?
It's stupid.
If you put Aunt Jemima and Jesse Jackson in a lineup,
Aaron would have no idea who's who.
It's like, well, I think Jesse Jackson is the man with the mustache,
but Jesse is a woman's name, too.
Could be the lady who's shaped like syrup.
Sorry, Miss Jackson, I am faux real.
So have you guys seen the YouTube cut of Amanda being an ass?
It's amazing.
So I want to talk about that today because
it's not just Aaron. Like Ronnie said a few minutes ago,
the others are coming out
of the woodwork now. Maybe it's because they're in
a house full of racists that they just forget
that nobody can be worse
than Gina Marie and Aaron, so I can throw
a few bomb moths in there and get away with it.
But guess what, Amanda? You can't.
You were already skating on thin ice.
A lot of people, I think think are turning, a lot of people
initially loved you, we love
not anymore, not turning
that's what I'm saying, I'm saying like a few weeks
ago people were appreciating her strong gameplay
but I think the tide has completely
turned, America's obviously
put her up on the block this week, they're gonna do
it again this week and
these racial comments are gonna get her ass
thrown out the door and I think it's well-deserved.
Absolutely. She doesn't realize
she was so fixated on Howard, she doesn't
realize that she actually made Howard into the
fan favorite. You saw the way, just
moving ahead to tonight's eviction episode, when Howard
was evicted,
the crowd went nuts for him.
People love Howard. So did Julie
Chen's lady parts. Well, honestly,
so did my lady parts.
I know they did, but that's a given.
It is a given, yeah.
I mean, he's no Lance Gross.
Is that a white guy?
I can't remember.
But he is like Howard.
So, yeah, thoughts about that.
Okay, so let's talk about Amanda and, like, is this going to...
You know, initially, I think that she said it,
and then I think somebody immediately
called her on it too, actually, and she
said, ugh, that's not racist.
Well, we talked about this a little bit last week,
Matt. We talked about how Amanda is the sort of
person who thinks,
she thinks because she has
some awareness about what things, when
things are racist, she thinks therefore she's
not racist, but she doesn't realize that
she too has crossed the line.
Right, I think you're right, and I also think it's because
she kind of called it first on people.
She was like, wait, you're being racist, therefore I can't be.
Yeah, exactly.
I want to play this video. It looks like it's working, okay?
Okay.
Yeah, we need to hear what she said.
Exciting racism up ahead
for the TV click
with Ben,
Matt, and Ron. I think Ron is talking and I don't
hear anything. Oh, sorry. Do you hear me now?
We do now, but we like a
dramatic pause before some racism.
Well, I can see it.
And the racism begins
now.
Now. Can you hear me? Now. Can you hear me?
Yes.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
You can't hear me.
Okay, I have it playing on my thing,
but I don't know why it's not playing with you.
We are going to figure this out, damn it.
This is because we are using the most ghetto group hang session of all time,
which is from Google.
So, Matt, that's a point for Yahoo right there.
Do we even have one on Yahoo
or should I make it like... No, but
your lack of one is still better
than Google's version.
Maybe I'll put an engineer
on it tomorrow and get them working on one.
Yeah, put an engineer on it.
In the meantime, so we're talking about Amanda
and her racism and how the
tide has turned. America
did vote against her and did put her on the block
because America was MVP for the second week in a row.
And I have to say, this was my favorite MVP week
because this was really the first time
when the house guests were totally rattled by it
because they thought last week they had a suspicion
that it was America, but this week,
there was like a full-on witch hunt.
And of course, it made Howard.
Everyone thought Howard was the one doing it.
Well, I love that we're six weeks in.
Julie mentioned this when the cast was sitting around the couch,
and she said, you guys have been there for 42 days.
And as a veteran of the Big Brother Media Day,
I can tell you that within about 20 seconds I start to go crazy in the house.
I know that says a lot about me, but these people have been in there now for six full weeks,
and I actually think that they are all starting to go batshit crazy.
The MVP situation took it to another level, and then Candice had a motherfucking meltdown.
Candice? I'm starting to think Candice is not a smart player.
I think she's a serial killer, and I would be worried to sleep in the same house as her.
And, you know, now that Howard is gone,
she is really going to be off the rails.
She is going to have a hard time,
because he, many times, I feel like,
range her in,
and now that he's gone,
I think she's going to be a loose cannon.
She's going to throw that Bible out the window
into the swimming pool,
and she's just going to go to town.
And here's my thing.
She really is flying solo at this point, so I'm like, why the hell not?
Balls to the wall, go crazy, stir the shitting, stir this pot up, because people should have stirred the pot up this week,
and they didn't take advantage of that.
But we need to back the train up, dude.
We need to talk about Aaron's nominations.
So talk about that. Yeah. Okay, so Aaron nominates Howard and Spencer because she is, like,
indebted to Alyssa and Helen, allegedly.
This is her end of the deal.
And she's saying, well, this is the powers that be.
But it doesn't make sense why Aaron, Gina Marie, Howard, and Spencer,
and Candace don't just come together and oust the powers that be.
I mean, that's how you play this game.
You don't go along with the powers that be because eventually your time will come as well.
Sidebar.
If you see the powers that be, you break them down.
Sidebar.
I think it's kind of funny that we keep talking about
Helen and Alyssa being some, like, dynamic duo
because clearly Alyssa is having some issues
keeping things to herself.
It's pissing off Helen.
Helen's talking mad shit behind Alyssa's back.
And I actually think
that it would behoove
Alyssa this week to stab
Helen in the back.
It's time to cut ties with that girl.
Yeah, well, she
pretty much said she was going to. She was like,
we have to vote her out. I mean, Alyssa,
Alyssa, you know,
the bloom is off the rose, as they say.
She was once our fan favorite. I don't know. She's
sort of falling apart. She's
like, she's not necessarily
as fun to watch anymore. She's more of an
awful player. That's what I'm starting to sense.
Well, and also, we missed a lot.
We missed all the good stuff with her.
They didn't show us all the good stuff that we
were hearing about on the live feeds, where she just
went apeshit for a couple of days when she
was on the block again.
They showed us her kind of getting
mad with Aaron or not talking to Aaron in the
kitchen or whatever or blaming Gina Marie
but we didn't really get to see all the good stuff.
So it's like, if you're not even going to show
her being crazy, we have no reason to want her
to stay on the show. Like, Rachel,
people were rooting for Rachel to stay because she's
fucking nuts and it was really fun to watch.
The unfortunate thing is the only crazy part from Alyssa we saw
is when Amanda put her big fake titties in that one-piece bathing suit
and Alyssa went to town on her fat ass.
And it was amazing slash horribly mean and upsetting and totally rude.
She didn't even call her fat.
Look, it was a little bit of both because, you know,
I think that at this point in the game I'm starting to hate Amanda, so I'm thinking it's funny. But back when she did it, it was a little bit of both, because, you know, I think that at this point in the game, I'm starting to hate Amanda,
so I'm thinking it's funny, but back when she
did it, it was totally mean and rude.
But I don't care. I'm still Team Alyssa. I'm Team
Rachel Riley to the end. Any of her family members
can go on this show, and I will fucking root for them to win.
Yeah. Thanks for
asking. I hate
one-pieces. No offense,
but I'm mad. One-pieces, they
still bad.
They're so gross.
Who are you? I wouldn't wear a one
piece if, like,
it was the last thing on
earth upon my body.
No offense.
Like, I'm
sorry, but it makes you look like
a beluga whale.
Like, no offense.
Thanks for asking.
I regretfully...
See, this is further proof that she's the best.
I sadly have to say that you look like a monster in a one-piece.
Thanks, Julie.
Thanks, Grateful Army.
I'm obsessed with hating one-pieces. Thanks, Brankful Army. I'm obsessed with hating one pieces.
Thanks, but no thanks.
One time I saw a dehydrated baby
trying to do yoga and dying on the street,
and it was less gross than your one piece.
Thanks.
I sadly have to say that I hated that baby
and the one piece
no offense
thanks for asking
that baby
in the street who was dying doing yoga
dehydrated was wearing a one piece
so I didn't help
at America
I can't watch Baywatch
because they all wear one pieces
sorry David
Hasselhoff.
That's why
that show was canceled.
Sorry, America.
They say it was the most popular show
in the world, but I
think it's because the world has
a lot of blind people who can't
see the one pieces.
No offense to blind people.
I'm so sad to say that thanks no
thanks happened because terrorists hey one piece of the man I'm sorry I regret
to say this but that is why 9-11 did happen thanks I'm obsessed with conspiracy theories. Thanks.
I will see both of you in hell.
Hell.
By the way, that is the most amazing
9-11 conspiracy theory of all time.
That the terrorists hate one-pieces.
You gotta give it up for that. I'm sorry.
Don't the terrorists
wear a hell of a lot more than a one-piece? I know. It's so that. I'm sorry. Don't the terrorists wear a hell of a lot more than a one-piece?
I know. It's so ugly.
I'm sorry. I'm looking at
the Facebook page,
which, thank you all for being here. Hi!
So I'm looking at the Facebook page. Lisa
Pierce, I'm still bitter about Amanda
being Jewish. It has not been
a very good summer for the Jews.
No. It has not been
good. Princess Long Highland
and Amanda.
Well, luckily, I'm just glad
that Arian is not Jewish, because
that would be a disaster. That would just be a lost cause.
Hey, guys.
It's late on a Thursday night. Can we get back
to talking about the game, bitch?
Well, I'm trying to keep up with this
Facebook, but there's so much. I'm turning it...
I'm, like, reading a book.
I would like to get back to nominations Facebook, but there's so much. I'm turning it – I'm like reading a book. Okay, so the nominations.
I would like to get back to nominations and talk about why people hate Spencer.
I mean, I hate Spencer because he was kind of rude to Andy and homophobic earlier in the season.
However, I don't understand –
However!
However!
Okay, just because I'm the Gretchen of the group and the Alexis of the group.
No, you're not. Anyway. group and the Alexis of the group. No, you're not.
You're the Heather of the group.
I know.
Congratulations on your new role on Malibu Country.
If you think that I would have four unruly children in my house,
you are crazy.
No, but I will say this, Matt.
Get excited because here comes our special guest,
Miss Sarah Rue. this, Matt. Get excited because here comes our special guest, Miss Sarah Rue.
Thanks.
Just kidding.
Sorry.
Housewives podcast crossover.
Sorry.
That's a real housewife reference.
Back to Big Brother, Matt.
Anyway, so what is the deal?
Why didn't they just say up front,
we're going after all the dudes?
Why aren't the girls all just saying,
let's be a girls and let's get rid of all the dudes? I don't front, we're going after all the dudes? Like, why aren't the girls all just saying, let's be a girls and let's get rid of
all the dudes? I don't think they're necessarily
going after all the dudes. They are
still pissed about this moving company
situation. Because remember,
when Howard had the chance to come clean, he
didn't. Spencer did come clean.
However! However!
When
then Spencer and Howard
made, like, a second alliance with
Darian and
Gina Marie and Judd.
So when that came out again,
they already had suspicions about Spencer.
But what about, why
does McCray just get to slide through
all of this because he's snuggling up to those
big old bazums of
Amanda? Because that's fucked up
because he was part of that alliance at the beginning too. Well, he's the one up to those big old bazums of Amanda? Because that's fucked up, because he was part of that alliance
at the beginning, too.
You're asking for some logic
and rational thoughts from these people,
and you're not going to get it. I'm sorry.
You give a nerd a vagina, and he will give up his own
mother. It's like, I mean, that guy
is so happy not to be feeling his own palm
against his wiener. He will fucking burn
a pile of juice in the shower. That guy will
betray anyone, anytime.
He'll do anything that Peppermint Patty
asks. That girl
is horrible.
Can I go on record as saying that girl is horrible?
Shame on you, young lady.
Youngish lady.
Big boned, youngish kind of
sort of older lady than she
says. Yes.
Middle aged lady.
Shame on you.
And also, for the record, you somewhat youngish lady.
I prefer the one piece.
And while you're at it, put a T-shirt over it, you jerk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do we follow that?
You don't.
You don't.
Unless you're McCray, in which case you're very eager to stick your pepperoni in her pizza box.
Oh, and they're engaged?
She was kidding. She said that we're in a
big brother engagement.
Yeah, it's not real, Ronnie.
Okay, okay, okay.
Aaron nominated
Spencer and Howard, and at
that point, Ben got a Grindr text.
Or is that Ronnie getting a Grindr text?
That was Ronnie. That's me.
It's not Grindr. It's Lisa
Pierce. Look.
Wait, you... I was going to say,
does she have her personal cell phone?
Does she have your personal...
Does she have your personal cell phone number?
Because she's already intertwined in our lives.
Immensely. No, she's...
These are Facebook notifications, so we don't
get lost, because I feel like sometimes we
start talking, talking, and then we don't look at the Facebook
so I have the notification set.
But I have to turn the volume off otherwise it'll be like
bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
Because those girls are talking up in there today.
How do we get people to be able to write their comments
in our Hangouts so we don't have to go through
two different platforms?
Let's get a YouTube video working
and then we'll move on to the next
technical feat.
Talking about technical robots,
back to Amanda and McRae.
So, yeah, so Howard has been persona non grata
because Amanda has this, like, tunnel vision about it,
and Aaron, like...
What is her tunnel vision about?
And you know what tunnels are?
Tunnels are black.
Black.
Black.
They're black, they're long, and they can go deep.
Whenever she drives through a tunnel,
she just wants to evict it.
When she goes through the Holland Tunnel...
I have questions!
Why does she have such a problem
with Howard?
Is it because Howard lied to Helen?
Or is it because he's black?
Or is it because he's a good player?
Because I finished my
question! Well, make it
quicker, Jesus.
We're suffering from ennui.
Oh my god.
I'm going to get a drink.
I'm getting a drink. Okay, bye.
Okay, the reason, and he's going to never know the
answer, because he doesn't pay attention to the
show either, but the reason is because
and she said it finally this week,
which I was kind of wondering the same thing,
but she said this week it's because McRae told her in the very beginning
when he gave up the moving company that she was a target.
So everybody in the moving company is a target.
And then when he went and lied to Chet, why am I telling you?
You know this.
I know this.
Stupid Matt.
We're going to have to tell stupid Matt again later.
It doesn't matter, though.
I think she just
had in her head that she wanted Howard out.
She fixated. I think she's the sort of person
who fixates on something until it gets done,
which makes her very entertaining
to watch, makes her very dangerous,
but will ultimately be her undoing.
Matt, I was just saying
that Amanda's problem is that she fixates.
Ronnie said that apparently Howard, the moving company, was coming after Amanda week saying that Amanda's problem is that she fixates. Ronnie said that apparently
Howard, the moving company, was coming after
Amanda week one. That's what McCray told Amanda.
We don't know if it's true or not,
but I'm saying
the downfall is that she fixates. She fixated
on Howard, and now she's going to fixate on someone else.
Probably Spencer for the time being.
Maybe Candace. Okay, I will
give you that, but I'm also just going to say I think
that she's secretly a horrible racist.
Oh, she is?
Okay, wait.
Did you watch?
Okay.
I feel like even though I can't play this video,
that I should transcribe it for you on the air,
but I don't want anybody to cut this up
and make it look like I'm being racist one day.
Like if I run for mayor,
I don't want to hear my words being slung back at me. No, of course not.
But I really do want to, I want you guys to hear some of the stuff she said, okay? So
I'm going to play this and I'm going to talk to you and tell you what she said, okay?
She's talking about Puerto Rican showers because Puerto Ricans are smelly
and don't take good enough showers.
And she's like, oh, people probably think I'm racist.
And they're like, that is racist.
Yeah.
And she just laughs and laughs.
Wouldn't she know?
I mean, she does live in Miami.
And she says, oh, God.
And then she says that if Puerto Ricans
don't want people to say that about them,
then they should take more showers.
She is horrible.
I fucking hate her.
That's actually horrific.
Now she's calling herself a fag hag
and calling Andy Kermit the fag.
We don't want her.
We don't want her.
Guess what? If you want to be a fag hag,
you've got to be cuter and you've got to be willing to wear a two-piece.
Yeah.
And she says Andy's asexual and sticks his own penis
in his own vagina.
Well, that I believe.
I believe it. We're okay with that one.
Yeah, she gets a pass on that one.
It's fine when she's making
fun of the gay dude, but when she's making fun of the black people,
I'm done.
The gay thing wasn't even like a gay thing.
She's just basically calling him asexual. That's not
very racist or anything. And she basically calling him asexual. That's not racist or anything.
And she's calling him an ugly ginger.
She's just really horrible.
There's this whole segment where she's talking
to a bunch of people.
First of all, what is she doing in the HOH all the time?
That bitch is not one single thing.
She's always laying in the HOH bed.
Someone pointed this out in the comments today.
She's always laying in the HOH room
in the bed, right in the center of the comments today. She's always laying in the HOH room, in the bed, like right in the center
of the bed, eating those people's food from their
basket, like fucking
reading their letters, like
crying at their family pictures. Farting in the sheets.
Yeah, you are not the HOH.
Get the hell out of that room, woman.
No, she has it in her head that she's renting the house
and she's going to take fucking full advantage of it
until somebody has the balls to do something
about it, and those dumb motherfuckers up in that house should have done it tonight, and they didn't.
Well, she was in the room talking to people about how much she hates Jesse
and saying she wants to just cut her throat.
Was it Jesse or Candace?
I think it's Jesse.
She was saying she wants to cut her throat and all this horrible stuff and then use it as lube.
Her and Spencer were going off.
Spencer's another one who's fucking disgusting.
I don't know if you've read about any of the stuff that he's been saying
in there, but we got a glimpse of it tonight
when he told Amanda to shut up.
That was great.
I think a little misogyny goes a long
way when it's towards
someone like that.
That's exactly what she was saying too.
First of all, she goes,
how dare you say shut up to a woman.
First of all, when you're a racist
bitch of a woman, I'm going to tell you worse than
shut up and say, shut the fuck up, motherfucker.
I was going to say, she goes around
threatening people all the time. She tries
to intimidate them. She tries to threaten them.
She needed a shut up.
She needed someone to tell her shut up.
She is the bully. She is the bully.
She is the bully.
And she's also probably, now, you know what?
I'm going to be misogynist here for a moment because I feel like she's probably the type of woman who's like,
I'm independent, and I'm like, you know, this is the way I am, and, you know, I do things for myself, da-da-da-da-da.
And then he says, shut up, and I'm like, I can't believe you say that to a woman.
You know, all of a sudden, it's like, are you going to be, like, the modern, like, feminist,
or are you going to be, like, a like, feminist, or are you going to be
like a traditionalist?
You can't have it both ways.
I'm sorry.
Like, if you're going to be like
rah, rah, rah, rah woman,
you have to be okay
if someone tells you to shut up.
Exactly.
I don't tell women to shut up.
I don't tell them.
I'm just saying, you know,
you can't have it both ways.
We only tell women
to shut up on podcasts,
and it totally doesn't count,
you guys.
It's totally different.
Yeah.
No, we love women.
Just, we don't want to have sex with them.
Yeah.
But, yeah, she's the kind of woman to pull out feminism
just when she needs it, you know?
Like when she wants you to pay for her dinner,
she ain't a feminist no more.
Also, she's so insecure that she has to have everything she wants
and that's why she picks someone like McRae.
And I'm sorry, McRae.
I'm sorry to say that, but the guy's a wuss.
He has no job.
He's like a little string bean.
His hair looks like birds have been pooping in it.
Come on.
I mean, it's like the lowest fruit on the tree.
That truly is like the only good thing about Spencer.
Again, in that, you know, when he went off on a man
and he told her to shut up,
he was also essentially saying,
and your boyfriend is a pussy.
Yeah.
Because guess what? He is.
He is. Remember the beginning of the season where we were like, yeah, we sort of like this McCray. He's sort of like kooky and like funky.
Like, he's gonna be like an outcast. We really like him.
Now I'm like, whatever. McCray doesn't think for
himself. And he stirs up shit.
And he can be a little bit prissy too, you know?
Are they banging? Yes.
They probably have sex all the time. Yeah.
Do these people... Okay, look. I sex all the time. Yeah. Do these people?
Okay, look.
I am a voyeur.
We're on a podcast right now, slash a video cast.
I don't know what this is called because I'm not the tech guru here, but like.
Well, don't call it a podcast.
We'll get sued for that Jim Logan fool.
Oh, that's right.
Okay, but here's the thing.
I just don't think anybody in their right mind is having sex on this show.
Oh, yes.
Oh, they are.
And her parents are mortified. But they're not in their right mind. His parents are like show. Oh, yes. Oh, they are. And her parents are horrifying.
His parents are, like, high-fiving each other.
Would you guys have sex on this show if you
were attracted to somebody and you were trapped in that house?
I just, for the life... I'm a horny,
horny slutbag, and I cannot
imagine doing that.
I would. I wouldn't. I don't want
people seeing me having sex.
Why? Is it not a pretty
thing? Whatever.
I mean, like, they see you poop.
They see you, like, go poop and stuff.
I'm okay with that, oddly enough.
Because that's worse for them.
That's worse for them than it is for me.
Well, that's true, I guess.
Okay, but I don't have to worry about it.
That was awkward, right?
That was an awkward pause.
I was trying to think of what it would be like for people to look at me poop.
Like, I don't even like to have people over to, like, spend the night. That was awkward, right? That was an awkward pause. I was trying to think of what it would be like for people to look at me poop.
Like, I don't even like to have people over to, like, spend the night because my bathroom is pretty much in my bedroom, you know,
the door to my bedroom.
And I'm like, I don't want people knowing I poop.
Like, I just don't want them knowing.
I want them to think that it just, like, dissolves into the air
and, like, the Holy Spirit just, like, makes it.
Are you like me?
Are you like me?
That's called a fart.
If you know, if there's going to be, like, a hookup sesh, you're like, can we go to your place?
Yes, I'm like, you know what?
I want you to meet my dog.
Let's go walk him.
And then go to your place.
Yeah, I'm always like, I don't want to do laundry.
That's my thing.
I don't want to clean sheets.
I hate cleaning sheets.
Especially if I've just done them.
Like right now, my bed is all nice and clean.
So it's all made.
No one's getting this bed for like three days. Yeah, the only time I want to have sex in my house is when nice and clean. So it's all made. No one's getting this bed for three days.
Yeah, the only time I want to have sex in my house is when I've cleaned my house.
And then I don't want some other sweaty, spermy guy all over everything.
I want it to myself.
So basically, how am I getting laid?
I'm sorry, but that is so true.
It's like after I've cleaned my house and I have fresh sheets and a fluffy, fresh duvet,
all I want to do is get in bed and watch Bravo and Big Brother on my DVR.
Get your dirty feet and your dirty semen
out of my bed. Exactly.
I'll have my own semen with some... Why are we talking
about this? Why are we talking about this?
You guys brought up...
We're talking about poop and sperm. Stop.
Sorry, everybody. Because I'm drinking
long out of a bottle, because that's what we do.
Because poop and sperm are two things
that are more appealing than Amanda these days.
That's what we're talking about.
Pretty much.
Agreed.
She's a vile human being.
So also, all this stuff about Spencer, people are talking about him just being really nasty
and calling people the C-word and, like, bitch all the time,
which I think I've called people bitch, like, 20 times.
But, again, it's in a podcast.
Okay.
Good question.
Good question.
Good question.
bitch like 20 times, but again, it's in a podcast. Okay, good question, good question,
good question. So,
CBS is still putting these
disclaimers before
the show, and they're pretty much
still just focusing on the fact that
Aaron is the racist. They really
never even went into
the whole, like, Gina Marie zone with it that
much. Why are we not seeing
Amanda and Spencer getting
the same treatment? Is it
just because Julie Chen hates Aaron? What's the deal?
Well, you know, when you talk about going into the Gina Marie zone, that's an area that
not many people go into and come out alive. So that's why CBS is staying away.
Including Nick, because he never went there. Calm the fuck down.
The Gina Marie zone actually looks like an ESPN fun zone, except there's a lot more sticky surfaces.
Are you sure it's not like a sky zone?
It is like that in that there's a lot of elasticity going on.
There's Gina Marie.
Right!
Oh, here's my Gina Marie costume.
Oh, my God.
Neck.
Neck.
Neck.
For those of you...
Neck.
For those of you...
Ronnie, don't...
Ronnie, you can't do it with that outfit on.
It's freaking me out.
Neck.
What, you want to extrapolate?
Yo, Ronnie's...
Either Ronnie has it on or has it off.
There's no compromisation here, okay?
This, by the way, represents Gina Marie's big finger.
But it looks like a schmata.
It's Nick's birthday!
Hey, guys.
I want an outfit.
It's Nick's favourite squash, guys.
It's Nick's favourite squash.
You guys.
Where is my crazy fun outfit?
Guys, I'm going to stick this in me in honor of Nick.
You guys, I can fit it in. I really can.
Why would you bring that home?
Why would you bring that home?
Can I please have a little...
Put a little dog face on me.
I'm not even going to tell you how to do it
because the rest of the time you're going to be staring at yourself
in the screen.
Shocker.
I lost my Gina Marie hair. I don't know where it went.
We need to make one of these
little Google things with Gina Marie hair.
That would be a maze.
People, we need to talk more about
MVP and how it made everybody in the house
crazy, which was awesome, and they're
always in their shit, and for a minute
they were like, we're convinced it's still Alyssa.
Some people were thinking it is America,
and then everybody else was like, no, it's Howard.
Let's back up just one second here.
The moment when MVP was
announced, and it
said Amanda, was that
not an amazing moment? Watching her face
fall. It was brilliant.
It was amazing.
Especially when she
started to wonder if it was us that put her up.
Yeah.
I thought that was pretty amazing, too.
I know, but she would never believe it.
No, I actually think that she is starting to realize that America is...
It will be confirmed this week if she is put up on the block by America.
It'll confirm the fact that the tide is turning in her mind
and she'll realize that she and McRae are not loved by America anymore.
I don't know that it's even America.
I think it's just CBS fucking with people
because it's so inconsistent.
It's just so inconsistent.
There's no way to prove it.
I don't buy it.
I don't buy it.
Okay, let's get to the POV competition.
What was it?
It was like a time machine competition.
Oh, my God, that puzzle.
When Aaron said with a straight face,
you had to go find all the colored pieces.
I was like, oh, my God, someone clue her in.
No, don't clue her in.
It is TV gold.
She's like, pieces are my word.
That's what I call people.
So, anyway, you've got to find the color pieces.
Oh my God.
It's what Aaron would say.
It's not what I would say, Matt.
Where's my Gina Marie hair?
It's gone missing.
I want a costume.
Lisa Marie just had heart surgery.
Lisa Marie, love.
I'm glad you're okay.
Why does she have heart surgery, Lisa Marie?
Her heart.
Her heart's broken.
You broke my heart.
Because her heart, she's sick in her heart.
She's like, just for fun. She's like, you know what?
Just wanted to see what's going on in there.
It was cosmetic. I wanted to make it a little more heart-shaped.
Oh, Lisa Marie.
Okay, so where are we?
Wait, no, no. We gotta say we love her.
She's one of our die-hards, so get better, Lisa Marie. Okay, so where are we? Wait, no, no. We've got to say we love her. She's one of our diehards.
So get better, Lisa Marie.
Yeah, she's a sweetheart.
You are a super sweetheart.
Lisa Marie, you feel better.
We hope that we warm your heart that has now been...
You know what else warms a heart?
Some Sauvignon Blanc right out of the bottle.
Yeah.
Okay, so what else happened on this stupid thing?
So the Vito thing, they all had to do a puzzle.
It looked really hard.
I'm dumb.
I'm dumb, but I thought it looked hard.
But they all were dumb.
And poor Howard.
Okay, so we all love Howard.
And for me, obviously it's more than just the fact that he's incredibly handsome.
He actually seems like a sweetheart.
The poor guy is so dumb, though.
He's sitting there.
I'm sorry, Ben.
Can you just admit one thing? That his dumbass speech
was the ultimate boner killer? Because that
dude is dumb as fuck.
When I was watching with my friend
Brian, and when he said, I'm gonna go inside.
Is that your hot figure? Yeah.
He was overwatching with me, and when Howard said,
Jealous. I'm gonna
go inside, and I'm gonna talk to
everybody. And I was like, oh no.
Don't talk. Whatever you do, don't try
to talk. Sure enough, he went in there
and gave the dumbest...
Here's what I feel.
If people are friends
with the then and the that,
where's the where?
Who's the what?
Where's the now?
Even Gina Marie was like...
When Gina Marie was like, that guy's not fucking...
When Gina Marie questions
the validity, there's a problem.
Yeah.
Aaron probably was like,
this is why we have to have separate but equal schools.
Gina Marie looked like someone
was trying to explain the difference between geometry
and algebra.
I don't know that difference.
What? Nick,
teach me. Teach me about
mathematics.
She's like, what's up, Stan Miley?
What? Yeah!
She's taking steroids, right? Because I feel like she
acts like a person who's on steroids.
She's going to need to start taking some estrogen
pretty soon because she's not looking too cute.
No, she's not.
And her makeup is getting worse and worse.
No kidding, she's starting to look like Ted Danson
and Whoopi Goldberg at a fundraiser.
Hello with the black face.
Please put it down. This season is racist enough
without your bronzer.
So,
back to the show. Spencer
ends up winning
POV. He obviously takes himself
off the block, which means
that somebody needs to go up now on the
block alongside Amanda
and Howard, and
you know, without even needing to think about
it, Aaron, being the racist she is,
immediately plugs Candace into that
spot. No one was surprised.
It wasn't as immediate as that
because what happened was Candace went over
to Helen, had a conversation, and was
like, what's the deal?
And she's like, well, I know you're
running the house. And it's like, oh,
you know what you should do? Go to the person who's running the
house and antagonize them. Real smart,
Candace. Like, where'd you learn that?
Yeah. And then, of course, Helen.
You know what was weird about that segment
was Helen really was offended.
Like, even when she was just talking to us,
she's like,
can you believe she accused me of running the house?
I was like, bitch, you are running the house.
Like, why are you acting like that's so offensive?
I don't always understand Helen's emotional motivations.
I don't have her quite figure it out.
Like, even when she was, they said, like,
you're going to be the host of the Veto competition.
She was like, yes!
I'm like.
Okay, I'm going to get real with you right now.
It's starting to make me hate her because even, like,
it even goes back to, I want to say, week two.
Or at some point where, you know,
I want to say, like, either Aaron or somebody won HOH in week two
or something like that. And, you know, Helen, you know, she had just been, like, either Aaron or somebody won HOH in week two or something like that,
and, you know, Helen, you know, she had just been, like, calling Helen horrible names, like, go make rice,
and then, oh, she took care of Gina Marie after Gina Marie was being horrible in week two,
and every time, like, she just overly animated, she's trying to be nice to everybody in the house,
and I want somebody to recognize that and punish her for it.
Yeah, I think she's fake, actually.
I mean, she talks a lot of shit, and then she's like, oh, sweetie, I just
love you so much. I really
like you, sweetie. I'm like, eh.
Right, and then you see the shit that she's talking about.
Yeah, fake mom. She's a fake mom.
She's borderline, because on the one hand, I'm sort of like,
I do like that she's manipulating these people
and she does seem to have a game plan,
but there is, like, she's not doing
like Janelle, you know, where you're like
enjoying the manipulation.
She's a little, sometimes I feel like she bleeds her own shit a little bit.
Oh, she totally does, and that's why I think that, you know,
I'm really just hoping that in the next week or two,
people put her and Amanda on blast, because that'll be fun.
They will.
By the way, what did you guys think about the most random segment
in the history of Big Brother, which was the 30-second long
Ode to Andy and the Bird.
You thought that was random?
I thought the most random shit was tonight
during the eviction where Julie
for fucking five minutes was playing
Let's Talk About Celebrity Babies.
Who gives a fuck?
That was really weird.
That was going on for so long.
No one cared.
Now, let's talk about Celebrity Baby.
Brittany had a baby named Tilly.
I'm like, oh, this is a celebrity baby.
Okay.
Meanwhile, we have to look up all the racist segments on YouTube.
Like, why aren't you showing us a clip of fucking Amanda going off
or Spencer talking about, like, throat rape, face raping somebody.
Exactly.
Allison Grodner, if you're watching this, which you should be,
because really we deserve, you know, a Webby for this videocast alone.
I know. The quality is just unsurpassed. Unsurpassed.
You're welcome. You're welcome, JokersUpdates.
We really, really
need them to start showing more
of the shit that is going on in this house. The ratings
are actually down this season,
and they've been down in the past few weeks.
As soon as Jeremy left, the ratings started
to peter off a little bit, and now I'm
like, if you guys want to make this season
memorable, yes, it'll be remembered for the racism,
but I also want it to be remembered for
some of the good gameplay, and
I'm like, just let it all go.
Bring out all the racism, let people go crazy,
let them start, like, screaming at each other every day,
and air it on TV. I just don't want to read
about it on my fucking computer.
That being said, we've seen, like,
a good number of arguments, though.
We've seen some serious clashes,
even if they're not the big racist fights.
I still feel pretty happy with that.
Spencer needs to get put
on blast by people,
by the larger public who is only
watching the CBS broadcast.
As does Amanda. Fuck her.
I agree. I agree they all should,
but what I'm saying is, what I'm impressed about this season
is that there still is, like, there still are plenty of
non-racist arguments to go around.
Like, past seasons
they had, like, bullshit, but this time around, we've
had a lot of, like, fighting in house meetings
and all that good stuff. Matches being thrown over.
The best.
Yeah, it's been pretty good. I do think
that they're doing a really good job with
the funny part of it. I that they're doing a really good job with the funny part of it.
I think they're editing a really funny show together.
Last night, between Howard giving that speech
and the bird with Andy,
I mean, that stuff was just hilarious.
Those were like priceless Big Brother moments.
Can we stop talking about that?
I'm scared of birds, and I don't want to talk about it.
Wait, no.
I'm scared of Andy.
Listen, I'm scared of Amanda. We've talked a lot
about her. So we're talking about this bird, okay?
So here's the thing.
He's like, okay, I'm in
my hammock. I'm having some
reflection. I thought we were about to have a moment of
him crying and thinking about life.
And this bird comes up and hovers in his
face and goes away. And he's like,
a close-up of a duck in a pool.
And I was like, oh, and now the follow-up.
But no, it just moved right on.
I was like, what was that?
I would have preferred to watch more of that scene
than talk about Kim Kardashian's fucking baby.
Yeah, they should have shown that to the house guests,
the bird scene.
So let's talk about Andy for a second.
What is up with this little queen?
Because you all
I'm going to put you all on blast right now
Because at the beginning of this season
Matt you keep on saying you're going to put us on blast
Or put someone on blast
I'm not
I'm not
I'm only going to put
This is what bullying is about
The two of you always fucking ganging up on me, but guess
what? The people that are watching this right now agree
with me because they want to talk about what I want
to talk about, and what I want to talk about
is I forget because
you sidetracked me.
You were going to talk about how we've been sticking up
for Andy this whole time, and now we're going to
have to say something about it. Yeah, you've all been sticking up for Andy, and you're all
like, oh, I think that ginger is cute.
Yada, yada, yada. Guess what?
He is a dumb, dumb bitch.
And let me tell you right now.
He running up to Amanda in the utility room on tonight's episode and telling her this kind of stuff made me crazy.
Because I was like, if this boy had any sense in his fucked up brain, he would have evicted Amanda tonight and made a bold move. But guess what?
He, just like, you know,
Rachel Riley said a few seasons
ago, he is a motherfucking floater
and he is worthless and if somebody
like him, if he
wins, I'm going to be pissed because he doesn't deserve shit.
Unfortunately, this is
actually a floater household at this point.
So people are just going along. They don't
want to ruffle any feathers, which is
that's the tragic loss of losing Jeremy
is that we did lose that aspect of it.
But, you know, the thing is
the producers realize this, which is why
they keep on giving America MVP because they're like
okay, well, the houseguests are
now settling into a safety zone
so why don't you guys, America,
shake things up a little bit? Yeah, there have to be sides.
It's not fun if we're just watching one side obliterate everybody else,
especially when that side is like, what do they even do?
They don't even like each other.
Okay, pause, because you're talking about sides right now,
and I'm talking about Andy Sucks.
Do you agree or disagree?
Disagree.
I disagree. I like him.
I like Andy.
Why? Why? Sell me.
Because whenever he seems to be the only one that when he's talking about what's going on in the house has a brain about him.
He just says it.
He just calls it out.
He's not trying to be like, oh, hilarious.
Gay.
He's just saying what's going on.
Every time he goes in that confessional room and he does his eviction,
he's always,
I'm a clown.
Well, then, but...
I don't even watch that part.
I usually go to that.
That's false. He doesn't do the I'm a clown.
He usually goes, hey, Julie, I vote to evict
Howard.
But that's different than being like,
we've seen the
Crazy Hay thing before. No, Andy's fine.
Oh my god. And the truth is this.
How many of them are in there?
Lamar, wait, yeah.
Laurent, Will.
Will.
No, here's the thing. All gay people ever.
So, here's the thing.
Like, we want Andy to make
a big move because we want to be entertained.
The truth is, he doesn't need to make a big move,
and he's doing just fine.
No, he's just going to put on his fucking life vest
and float all the way to the finale,
and it's going to become, like, dumbass season six
with that bitch Maggie one,
and I'm going to be like, I wasted my summer.
I don't know that he's going to make it to the finale.
He's not high up.
He's not high up.
I mean, he's...
Helen's going to be... I don't think Helen's going to be in the finale either. I think they up. He's not high up. Helen is going to be...
I don't think Helen's going to be in the finale
either. I think they're going to turn on her ass.
But Andy is very likable.
Andy is very likable. He's not
like Maggie. He's likable.
He's not likable. He's just not
hateable like the rest of them.
No, he's actively likable, I would say.
I think he is actively likable.
Today, he lost points. Ben, you can't tell me that him going and talking to Amanda in that room was good.
Okay, listen.
Listen, Suzanne Sugarbaker.
You have to calm down here a second, okay?
Blast!
I'm blasting!
Blast, blast, blast!
Okay.
Andy, I think, is actively likable.
I think his comments in the diary room are funny.
I think he seems friendly.
He does not seem like an idiot.
I enjoy Andy. I think he seems friendly. He does not seem like an idiot. I enjoy Andy.
I enjoy his little cat shirts.
And I'm down for
Andy to go the long haul
here. Boring.
I'm telling you right now, the crazy
thing is so much heat
is now off of Aaron that I
think Aaron is going to go final three.
Yeah, I actually think she's going to go pretty far
too. Yeah, she could be that's going to go pretty far, too.
Yeah, she could be that horrible one that they just keep to the end because she's so horrible they think no one will vote for her.
Well, and that's the same case for Gina Marie.
I think both of those blonde, racist bitches are going to the final three or final four.
I guarantee it.
I think Gina Marie is so nice to everybody in the house that they might...
I just think she's too stupid to do anything.
Although, we're not allowed to talk about spoilers on this, right?
We will at the end.
We will at the end.
But let's get right now to the eviction.
So Howard was voted out 7-1.
No surprises there.
But before that, though, there was all sorts of chaos,
which was that Spencer wanted to get Amanda out, and so he was allied with Howard and Candace.
So Amanda, being the bulldog that she is, tries to call Spencer out, and Spencer says, like, no, no, no, I want to get Candace out.
It's a lie.
He's trying to save face just to get her to shut up.
Helen goes and tells Candace, oh, Spencer's out there saying that
he wants to get you out. You're his target.
And so Candace, being the idiot that she
is... Idiot! Fucking idiot.
Candace, who... She was the one
who said Helen's running the household.
She doesn't think to herself, oh, maybe Helen's
playing some game with me right now. She calls
a house meeting, and she goes off
on Spencer, one of her few allies,
and she's an idiot about it
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Apple Podcasts.
Ronnie, stop looking at Facebook.
I'm reading an
interesting comment from WhatWhat.
Okay, so question, bear with me.
This is a longer one. I'll make it quicker, I promise.
Do you think the MVP
was really ever supposed to be chosen by America
or is it possible that the twist was actually to introduce the MVP idea
and purposely introduce Melissa in order for her to auto-win for a couple years?
Dear viewers, let me tell you a secret about Big Brother.
Just like The Voice and the majority of reality TV that have live aspects,
the producers make up the rules as we go throughout the season.
So they might have thought, we'll do MVP by America one week.
But let me tell you, as soon as Alyssa was in hot water at the beginning,
they knew we can't let her go because we need the Brential army to be tuning into this show,
and they were going to do anything in their power to make sure that was not going to happen.
Plus, it's also too predictable.
If she wins it every week, it's kind it's kind of not fun, you know?
Right, so Ronnie, do you believe, I mean, you kind of hinted
at this earlier because you're a conspiracy
theorist like Gina Marie when Ben's wearing his special
hat. Do you think that
the producers are just making this up completely?
It's not a special hat!
It's Nick's hat! Okay?
You can't make Nick like that!
Nick!
Nick! Nick, you're my MVP!
Nick, I'm going to put this in me, okay?
I'm going to think of you, okay, Nick?
Nick!
Nick!
Dear viewers,
somebody get a screencap of Ben with that banana.
A screencap! Screencap!
I do think that it's
totally made up. I think it's total bullshit.
Because it's too inconsistent every week.
And I do think that What What has a point in that
the reason they made it think that
the MVP was voted
on... Wait, how was it MVP?
How were we getting the MVP
at first when it wasn't America voting for it?
Well, how about we
voted for
someone to be MVP, and the MVP
would nominate someone.
Oh, that's right. Stupid.
So the point that
WhatWhat's making is that
they just did that so that everybody's not trying
to kiss ass to America to win their votes
because it would be a boring season. Like, you're not going to see
someone being racist if they think America
is the one voting for them. But I disagree with Ronnie
right there, because these people are just
horrible racist people, and they can't contain
their racism. No, but also
the thing is, too, if
Alyssa gets it every week, then the house
knows who it is, so there's no intrigue in the
house. My question is this.
So Alyssa has the quote-unquote
army out there that's voting for her,
but now that we're a few weeks into the season,
now these players actually have fan bases,
and the audience probably cares about things.
So is the Brential Army actually even still a factor in all this?
No, the Brential Army...
And what is the Brential Army, and why is it called the Brential Army?
That's stupid.
First of all, that name has always been stupid
because it sounds like Wenzel's Donuts, which is actually something that's valid, unlike those two fake chemists.
Another one of those fools are a chemist. Shut up, both of you. You're both stupid.
No, you shut up.
One of you is working in fucking Ireland.
They certainly have a lot of chemistry.
Another one of you is begging for money out in front of Ralph's.
You shut up. You shut up.
You like them?
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Was it Brandon's terrible
internet porn that he got caught
on Skype that made you like him?
What is it?
That was a point in his favor.
Was it Rachel
sobbing and crying in the bushes
and whining when she didn't get her way?
What was that? No, it's called Rachel
was one of, if not the best,
Big Brother player in history,
along with Dr. Will and Janelle.
They are the fucking top three.
Are you crazy?
Rachel was not the best.
I'm sorry.
Rachel was not the best.
Rachel only made it to the end
because Big Brother, again,
rigged that shit with a coup d'etat
or whatever the fuck they came up with in that season
in her Pandora's Box bullshit
when she was about to get voted out.
Fucking Big Brother threw her
a coup d'etat again, just like
they did with Jeff.
Just like they did with fucking Dick
when he was going to get kicked off. They threw him something.
I forgot what they called it that year, but
every year, whoever wins,
they were not supposed to win. It was some bullshit that's
rigged in like week 10 or whatever.
Please, Rachel. That girl can't even stand up on her own wee wedding special. It was some bullshit that's rigged in like week 10 or whatever. Please, Rachel. That girl
can't even stand up on her own wee wedding
special. Did you hear about that? Okay, you motherfuckers
need to listen up because you can feel
how you want to feel, but the reality
is they have a ton of fucking fans
that are backing Alyssa. Well, so does
Aaron. I mean, if you go
read the internet. The thing is,
any one of these idiots have fans. I mean,
grabbed an Aaron's are smellier and have
longer ball hair, probably. And they wear
sheets and everything. Hello, it's called the Ku Klux Klan.
Big, big brother watchers.
She's got her fan base. She's got her
army. Yeah, I was reading
People in the KKK have CBS.
Of course.
Who else watches NCIS?
But CBS to them
is colored black situation, so they always tune in by accident. They're like, we gotta tune in. We gotta CBS to them is colored black situation, so they always
tune in by accident. They're like, we gotta tune in.
We gotta find out about this colored black situation.
Oh, shoot, it's Big Brother again.
Oh, I like this show. Yeah, I was
reading some article today, because Russia
has made it illegal to be gay or whatever.
You know that, right? And so the
Olympics are gonna be there, and so they're saying
they came out and said, well, we'll arrest
anybody who's displaying any gay affection.
Like if anyone's holding hands, they will arrest your ass and throw you in jail.
Well, guess who better not go?
Johnny Weir better stay the fuck home.
Oh, my God.
Johnny Weir will take Russia down.
He'll be in a cell with Pussy Riot just making all of Russia's criminals laugh.
But anyway, I was reading this article.
I mean, to anybody, this sounds just fucking crazy.
Like, really, you're going to arrest people for holding hands?
Really? That's where we've come?
These fucking idiots at Breitbart, these ignorant, fucking, stupid Republican hicks.
Going on, and not even Republican hicks.
I don't even know what you call them.
Like the ultra-conservative, crazy hicks.
Congratulating Russia and saying, oh, when are we going to do that?
Finally, if someone has the balls.
Really? So you're fucking siding with Russia
now, you fucking idiots.
Those are the people who are out there rooting for people like Aaron
and Paul and Dean and all these others.
Everybody. Hundreds of fucking comments.
Hundreds of comments.
Hundreds.
Don't tell me where they live. I'll go kill them.
Oh, they live all around you. I think they live in Judd's town. I mean, me where they live. I'll go kill them. They live all around you.
I think they live in Judd's town.
I mean, my God, people. Not to make this
about the news, I'm just saying that stupid
is everywhere. It's everywhere.
So people, there's fans
for everybody. So that's how I
understand your love for Rachel.
That's what I'm trying to say. I forget people.
Wow, so where did
we leave off? How of getting evicted?
Can we get to that part yet?
Are we there yet?
Yeah. He gets evicted.
He was wearing some pizza dough on his head. I think it was a hat
that looked like pizza dough.
It just made you want to eat him even more than you
already did. I was just like, in a season
of races, can you please not dress like
Bagger Vance to the fucking...
Come on. Did you just say that? He did. He not dress like Bagger Vance to the fucking... Come on. Did you just say that?
He did. He was wearing a Bagger
Vance golf hat. I was like, stop it.
Stop it. I feel like everything in this season
now is tinged with some kind of racial
some kind of
Rachel horror... Rachel. Do you see
what you did to me? I see.
That season was tinged with horrible
Rachel-ness, or Rachel-ism.
Rach-ism. Rach-ism. That's what I should call it.
So does this mean that Candace is going to be leaving us next week,
which means that in the next seven days we're going to have a ton of racial shit?
Probably. You know what I noticed with Howard being evicted?
He smiled a few times, and I realized how little he's actually smiled on this entire season.
It was shocking. He doesn't smile at all.
It's very serious. But is that because Jesus
doesn't allow him to because that is who runs
his life?
Or maybe it's because he's stuck in a house with a bunch
of racists. That also wouldn't make me smile.
Really hardcore Christians like Howard,
I mean, you've got to hand it to those
guys. They are really,
really committed.
That guy talks about praying and what
God wants and do whatever.
God is not watching Big Brother.
Stop it. I'm not even making fun of your religion.
I'm just saying, please stop it.
Because you just make God look stupid.
All you've been doing is giving God credit for everything.
Then you get kicked off, and guess what? It makes God
look like an asshole. He's working very
hard to try and get followers
on Twitter.
He's deaf on Twitter. Yeah, and get followers on Twitter, wherever.
He's deaf on Twitter.
Yeah, stop fucking with his ranking, yo.
How funny was it when he went into that have not room to pray
and then Jessie barged in to cry about
herself?
That was a sweet moment.
She was sort of like, you know.
Wait, excuse me. Are you not defending her?
I am. I am. I thought it was a sweet moment for her.
I'm not defending her.
I'm with Matt.
I think that was a stupid, stupid.
I mean, she's so stupid.
It's like it has nothing even to do with him.
She just wants to come in and get time crying.
What are you even crying about?
Shut up.
She's like, I know that you could use this money.
Some people don't need this money.
They really do.
And then she votes against him.
Get out of here
With your stupid tears
That's true
It was very patronizing
But I just thought it was
I enjoyed the moment
I thought it was very funny
Yeah she wants to just go down
As someone not being mean
To a black person on this show
Listen she just wants to go down
In general
She's so sad that she has no showman
She's like
She's a virgin
She's a virgin
She's dying to get like
Judd's froggy cock up in it
But it's not gonna happen
She's like Howard You're only put to get Judd's froggy cock up in it, but it's not going to happen. She's like, Howard,
you're only put up on the block because
girls are threatened by my hotness.
He's like, what? Can I have
your bed? She's like, hey, Judd,
who's that guy in your town who all he does is
walk around town? Can you give me his number?
God, no kidding. What's your dad's
number? Oh, I love
the part where Julie's like,
America, everyone thinks Judd is just a simple, simple man,
but is there more to the story?
And I was like, no, there's nothing more to the story.
And don't you love that this woman,
Big Brother's her fun job,
but she thinks that she's a legitimate journalist for CBS News,
and I'm like, if that is some
investigative journalism, and that's
your lead-in, girl, enjoy
sitting on your ass on the talk, because
that's all you're going. That's the hype.
I love that no one
in his family
moves their face. They're just all like,
yeah, he's a good guy. He's a real good guy.
I love him.
They're always practicing with one of those fucking puppets.
They all had a touch of palsy to them.
Well, the mom really did, so shame on you.
She had a stroke.
How dare you?
No, no, she didn't have palsy.
She did not.
She did so.
She had Bell's palsy where half of her face was stroked out.
Was it really?
Shame on you.
Her name is Kim.
Yes, hello.
Well, then I was just being descriptive.
I was just being descriptive.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, America and Judd's family.
America.
I'm sorry, America.
Sorry, I can't believe you'd have palsy.
Like, I'm sorry.
Like, I hate palsy.
Thanks for asking.
Not fencing.
No offense.
You know what's worse than palsy?
A one-piece.
I sadly
have to say I hate
one-pieces. Thanks. No offense.
I hate palsy
and one-pieces, and when you
came in with your palsy
and your one-piece,
my eyes fell out. Thanks.
No offense. I'm not trying to be hurtful,
but I don't understand
your face right now.
Sorry. No offense.
I'm trying
to read your lips.
Your bathing suit was so loud
that it made me deaf,
so I'm trying to read your lips,
but they're only half moving.
I sadly have to say I can't read your lips right now.
Thanks.
America!
America.
Hey, America.
I don't know why I'm not MVP anymore,
but I sadly have to say I don't like it. Thanks.
No offense.
Since she had...
Matt refuses to talk.
He's part of the Brunchal Army. He refuses to participate
in Alyssa bashing.
The Lisas are making fun
of me because on the Watch What Craps with the podcast
I was saying, like, anybody who looks
like they have any kind of mental disability
I'm kind of attracted to, and they were like...
Exactly.
So you should be attracted to the entire fucking Big Brother house.
Lisa Pierce said, since she had palsy, did you feel attracted to her?
Very funny, you guys.
That is very funny.
Very funny.
Very funny.
Okay, so Howard left.
Julie asked some dumb questions.
And then we got to the new HOH competition.
I enjoyed watching it.
You guys, let me just say this.
If you are watching this videocast right now
and you don't want to know who won Head of Household
because you would like to wait until Sunday's broadcast on CBS,
you might want to peace out now because I read it.
Well, I already know if they're on Facebook because Rebecca blew it.
But you know what? Thank you, Rebecca,
because you also made one of my favorite comments of the night
when you just simply stated,
Helen is a fucking idiot.
So thank you, Rebecca, because I totally agree
and it needed to be put that simply.
Please, Matt, go ahead. I'm sorry for interrupting.
Thank you for your profile. I don't need your profile.
I don't need your profilitude.
Just go ahead, Matt. Go ahead. I can't believe you'd show your profile.
Like, it's not your best angle.
I'm not trying to be hurtful.
No, I'm just- It's not?
Are you sure about that?
No, I'm just joking.
Matt, why don't you do your stand?
Now, why do you stick your tongue out whenever you do that?
Why do you always stick your tongue out, Matt?
I like my tongue.
Are those real glasses or those Howard glasses that you just-
Fuck off.
Wear so people don't think you're stupid?
Do they belong to Nick?
Here's the funny thing.
The funny thing is this.
I wear real glasses,
but I am stupid, so there you go.
This is what I wear
when I meet people that
respect me.
Okay, come on, Matt.
Nick!
Why does everybody always get a prop?
I want a prop.
Nick!
You guys want to see what poor Gina Marie's
private parts feel like?
Want to see how they feel?
How do they feel?
A dry, dead
flower.
Do you like my little
corgi calendar?
Oh my god,
why don't you just put a penis in your mouth right now,
you gay guy.
Corgi calendar. Who does that?
It's like we're talking to Andy right here.
He's putting the corgi in there.
I do have a banana.
Between
your banana and my corgi calendar,
we're going to show people how to suck dick.
Oh my god.
This is YouTube, not PornTube.
Not PornHop. Sorry, no offense.
Are you going to get around to
actually spoiling this? This podcast is dying
because you're not finishing your damn sentence.
We've been waiting for you to spoil this forever now.
Oh my god, you got me saying axed.
Aaron. Oh, my God. You got me saying axed. Aaron.
Okay, so if you haven't tuned out, too bad.
But anyway, the winner of the new Head of Household competition is,
drumroll, I forget.
McCray.
Gina Marie.
No, Gina Marie.
Gina Marie?
Yes.
It was the final three.
Nick, it's all for you, Nick.
It's all for you, Nick. It's all for you, Nick.
Nick, I walked on that thing that was turning in a circle,
and I held onto a rope.
I was pretending it was you, Nick.
I pretended I was walking to you.
I pretended I was walking to you.
I'm stuck with crazy people.
So they had to, like, stand on a log and roll around,
and the final three were McCrae,
Gina Marie, and Spencer, I think.
And I freaked out because I was like,
if McCrae wins, I'm not going to be happy
because I don't like Amanda,
but I'm actually excited that Gina Marie won,
even though she's a racist bitch. The end.
Do you think that she is going to do what Aaron did
and go along? But she doesn't have to.
She's under no obligation.
But I feel like she just will be good.
I think Aaron...
You go ahead.
Why thank you, Matt.
I think that Aaron is going to finally be able to do the things that she wanted to do last week.
Which is what?
She wants to probably put up Helen and Candice.
And she's going to have to redo her bidding.
I think that Candace put
herself in the hot seat by having that
crazy house meeting, and I also think, though,
that Gina Marie is kind of friends
with everybody, so I feel like Gina
Marie could easily go with Candace
and Spencer and not have blood on her hands.
You know,
Catherine
has posted a picture of her daughter's Furby on the Facebook page,
and it says, it's like Gina Marie, but fuzzy and scary, and it talks gibberish.
Okay, so it's Gina Marie.
That's funny.
I want to look that up.
So, Matt, what was your question?
Oh, it's not a podcast until we hear Traffic in Ben's House.
I hear it, too, because we live three buildings away.
I hear it, too. It's three buildings away, I hear it too.
It's like, you know, what's that movie, Fievel Goes West,
and it's like somewhere out there, like we're wishing on the same star.
Ben and I are wishing on the same helicopter.
I'm wishing on a star to find out where you are.
So Matt, what was your question?
My question is, Gina Marie, I think she's going to get away
by putting Spencer and Candice up,
and then she doesn't have to worry about anything.
Yeah.
But they've got to stop playing like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But she's dumb.
So do you think that she's going to have the balls to do something?
She has nobody on her side.
She has got to make a power move.
I mean, Spencer's horrible, but she's made friends with Spencer, right?
They agreed that they would play together. Gina Marie's actually been
one of the ones who's been on board with the
hacky alliance that has nobody.
The problem is, those people are all
being true to Helen. Who's a fucking idiot?
I don't know why anybody's being true to Helen.
Do you really think that there's a possibility that Aaron
will get into Gina Marie's head and say it's time
to put Helen up? Because that would be awesome.
There are a lot of things that can fit into Gina Marie's head
because there's nothing in there, okay? So Aaron will
certainly get right on in there.
And I think Candace is in
trouble because Aaron hates Candace, but I
think that maybe Alyssa too,
Alyssa or Helen, could be in trouble.
And then I think America, I mean,
I think that we should endorse America to
vote for Amanda again, right?
For MVP.
This is going to sound crazy.
I kind of want America to vote Amanda into the hot seat,
and then I kind of want her to be evicted because that would be delicious.
But at the same time, as much as I hate Amanda,
if she leaves the house, that's like an integral part of the house,
and I'm not ready for her to go.
So maybe McCray.
Agreed.
I think they'd know. integral part of the house, and I'm not ready for her to go. So maybe McCray. Agreed.
Well, maybe McCray, because it would force Amanda to be even more evil.
Because now she's at least getting some. Yes.
I like that idea.
But today we got scenes of her almost losing it.
Because when Andy told her,
oh, there's a plan to get rid of you,
but don't worry, it's not going to go through.
And she was like...
No, she was like...
Keeping the tears.
Keep them in.
Yeah, when she started freaking out a little,
I was like, that's the girl I need.
I don't think people are going to go against McCrae because they like him.
He's sort of non-offensive,
but Amanda better watch out because she's horrid.
I mean, somebody's got to turn
off. Of course they're all horrid, so maybe there's strength
in numbers. I don't know. But if they
don't form another side soon, this season's going to get
really boring really fast, because
watching Helen pick people off, I mean,
I'm sorry, but I do not need to see a soccer
mom with a machine gun. Get rid of
her. Clear her. That's why I actually think
that, you know, if
Candice or Spencer were to leave, I think it would be fine.
Actually, you know what?
I think that Andy or Jesse leaving would be fine
because they do nothing.
Get rid of them.
Keep some people that are willing to go ridiculous.
The one thing that's good with Jesse
is that there's a lot of potential for her
to get into a little scuffle with the other girls
because we saw that already happen. There was that whole bed gate that happened a few weeks ago. for her to get into a little scuffle with the other girls.
Because we saw that already happen.
There was that whole bed gate that happened a few weeks ago.
So right now she's playing nice,
but it won't take long before she's on the outs again and they're all fighting.
Well, what was she even talking about?
That conversation with the girls was so dumb.
When she was like,
you guys, I'm really getting worried about Candice
because she just lost it in front of everybody,
and that scared me.
I don't want her to do that to me.
It's not about you, you fucking idiot.
How did that threaten you at all?
It didn't make any sense.
She needs to somehow be relevant in this house.
Exactly.
She'll do anything to get some screen time at this point
because she knows she has nothing going on.
Yeah.
All right, so do we have any other final thoughts on this week, because she knows she has nothing going on. Yeah, fucking hell. Alright, so do we have
any other final thoughts on this week?
The week that was in the Big Brother house?
No.
No. So, any
predictions?
Didn't we just give them?
I think it's going to be Alyssa and
I think it's going to be Alyssa,
Amanda, and Candice up on the block this
week.
For the first round. And then I don't know what happens after that.
I agree. I actually agree with those three.
I think it'll be Candice
and Andy.
Candy?
I think it'll be
Candice and, yeah.
I think she'll put Andy up because he's a little
queer. A little queer.
He would never make it
on the Arizona Nights bridge
I don't know what that means
I don't either
yeah you know how the gays are
they get shot down
on that bridge
oh my god
yay
let's end with
a gay violence joke
how many people
watched this tonight
I'm like curious
if it was just
the three of us
and the two Lisas
you mean Lisa Lisa
and the cult jam because by the way if it was just the three of us and the two Lisas. You mean Lisa Lisa and the cult jam?
Because, by the way, if it was just the three of us and Lisa Lisa and the cult jam,
meaning we're the cult jam, I'd be fine with that because I love me some Lisas.
Yeah, I'm thinking maybe we should try and start watching the East Coast feed.
I do.
I watched it tonight.
I watched it tonight on, I don't want to say the site because then everyone's going to go there
and it's going to fuck up my feed.
But you can find it online.
And I found it and it was seamless.
I watched the whole thing early, got it done early.
We can do this earlier and get more people to watch maybe.
Well, how many people watched tonight?
I don't know.
It doesn't say.
Oh, okay.
You know how consistent this crap is.
Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't.
Can we wrap this up by saying thank you all for tuning in,
whether you're watching live or whether you're watching this on tape.
And check us out, The TV Cleek.
You can also find us on Twitter.
I'm Matt Life on the M list.
Ronnie is TrashTweetTV, and Ben is at The Side Blog.
And can one of you end with one final Alyssa impression for the night?
Because that's how I want to go to bed.
Because I would like some nightmares.
Sorry.
Very sadly, I have to say
I can't do that for you, Matt.
No offense.
Sorry, Matt.
Right now, you're in a one-piece.
I can't even look at you.
I'm not in a one-piece, I promise you.
Yeah.
Separado.
You like that? You like my Puerto Rican?
That's right. I'm going to go take me a Puerto Rican shower.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do, girl? Puerto Rican shower.
Stupid, stupid bitch.
You know what? I cannot wait until Amanda
comes out, because I think she's even more
vile than Aaron, and I cannot wait to see what she
gets from the chin.
America! vote Amanda's
ass up onto that couch.
Every week. Let's just watch her have a breakdown
every week, you guys. Yes.
And then she'll just eat more food, and then she'll want people to fit into that
one piece. Oh, she's barely in it now,
girl. Okay, well, thank you all.
She's got two piece with her stomach.
Thank you all. As you might have noticed,
we have consolidated our podcast, and the name is now
The TV Click. So this is The TV
Click Big Brother, and then
our other one is The TV Click Watch
What Crap Adds, which is all about Bravo.
Those are released every Wednesday, kind of
late night, and then these are every Thursday
night at 10.30 p.m. Pacific time.
So join us on YouTube
for that, or on our Facebook page,
facebook.com slash watch what crappens.
Or you can also meet up with us at the Fox Hills malls every once in a while
because we like to go take a podcast outside of a Sparrow.
Yes,
we will be at food courts across America cause that was super,
super fun.
We're also going to start uploading our watch what crappens podcast on
YouTube.
We're going to try and do them video occasionally,
but a lot of times it's just going to be the audio
with like a picture. So if you want to listen to them
on YouTube instead of iTunes or SoundCloud
where you can find us, at the TV Click
on both. Just search the TV Click
on both. Options are a good thing, people.
Yeah, options.
Watch us anywhere, y'all.
And earlier this evening I was just having
some fun and I created a Tumblr
for the TV Click. So just go to thetvclick.tumblr.com.
And basically, it's just GIFs.
It's just funny GIFs, including one that I made,
including one that I made of Caitlin dancing around.
It was fantastic.
I LOL'd.
I hate people who write LOL and LOL in real life,
and it made me laugh out loud.
And I am going to spend my entire day at work tomorrow making memes.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, I will add you, Matt and Ronnie,
I'll add you guys to the TV Click ones.
That way you guys can reblog GIFs and stuff like that
to add on to that page because it's fun.
Yay!
And finally, oh, my God,
Emmy actually did screen cap Ben with the banana and the napkin on his head.
Thank you, Emmy.
What, what?
Matt gets whatever he asks for, okay?
Thank you, Emmy.
And thank you to everybody on Facebook
for commenting.
It's really fun reading you guys.
Lisa Marie, Lisa Pierce, Rebecca, Emmy,
Madelette.
Madelette, you are so cute, by the way.
Kelly Big Red.
Who am I missing?
Joker's Update people.
I can't read up this whole damn thing.
Cindy.
Catherine.
Tamela.
And all of our peeps over at the Big Brother Bravoholics Facebook page.
If you guys love us, go join that page.
It's a hell of a lot of fun.
Cindy, all of you all.
You've been so much fun.
This is really fun to do with you guys.
And we'll see you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Everybody say bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Everybody say bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet.
The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It.
It's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass
liza slicinger slicing driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there
and i still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own owen benjamin that's me takes
you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any
longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy.
There's no need to wait for it anymore
because it's here
and it's funny
and I love you.
A few days ago,
Brooke Tudine posted
an inspirational quote on her wall
that got 17 likes and 3 comments.
Thumbs up, Brooke.
Geico also wants to make a
comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by
switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those
posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing.
Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.