Watch What Crappens - The TV Clique: Big Brother - Week 9 in Review
Episode Date: August 23, 2013We also do another podcast about Bravo trash called Watch What Crappens. Find us on our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/WatchWhatCrappens For Big Brother Video Speed Recaps join Ronnie... on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee For hilarious tomato drama, join Ben on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/bsideblog Our social profiles: Matt on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lifeonthemlist and twitter http://www.twitter.com/lifeonthemlist Ronnie on Instagram: http:www.instagram.com/trashtalktv and twitter: http://www.twitter.com/trashtweettv Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog and twitter http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog http://www.bsideblog.com http://www.trashtalktv.com http://www.yahoo.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everyone, welcome to the TV Click Big Brother podcast for week eight.
I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV,
and I'm here with Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog.
Hello, Benjamin.
Well, hello, Ronnie Karam.
It's been a fun week at Big Brother.
You can find me online on YouTube.
I'm Trash Talk TV, spelled T-E-E-V-E-E.
On Twitter, I'm Trash Treat TV, and on Instagram, I'm Trash Talk TV, spelled T-E-E-V-E-E.
On Twitter, I'm Trash Treat TV, and on Instagram, I'm
Trash Talk TV. I'm confusing. Ben's easier.
He's B-Side Blog on everything. Instagram,
Facebook,
Twitter, all that stuff. His blog,
B-Side Blog, fine.
I have a...
Oh, gross.
Hold on one second. This is
not okay.
What?
I have the YouTube page open so I can read comments on there while we're doing this,
and it just started talking back to me, and I was like, ugh!
Oh, I thought you were looking at some strange footage of a cyst being removed from someone's nipple or something like that.
Which is pretty much what it looks like when Amanda and McCray have sex.
Yes, pretty much, yes.
And my sweaty face is probably what Amanda's face looks like.
I went running an hour and a half ago,
and this is still what I look like.
Isn't that hot?
I'm nearly sweating because I was very excited
by tonight's live show of Big Brother,
which is what we're here to talk about.
Big Brother, the week in review. What week are we
up to at this point?
Well, on these, I'm
saying week eight, and on my
redub things, my speed
recaps, I'm saying seven. So I don't know.
I don't know. Week seven or eight,
doesn't matter. If the week in review... We're nine, who knows?
I want to welcome everyone who's
coming in to watch this live.
If you're listening to this on iTunes, you're missing half the fun because it's also a YouTube show.
And we got all sorts of people from Joker's Updates, and we got people from Twitter and YouTube.
So hello, everyone. Welcome to our little podcast show here.
So, wow, this was sort of...
Oh, yeah, wait. Real quick. If you want to talk to us while we're doing the show,
please go to our Facebook page.
It's facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens.
Leave us comments in that thread.
You can find us on YouTube at youtube.com slash thetvclick
or on Twitter at whatcrappens because that's our Bravo podcast.
So tweet us questions.
Come on Facebook.
When I look away from the screen,
it's because I am looking at your questions and comments.
If you tweet at bsideblog
also I'll be able to read your questions.
So anyway, this is a
week of Big Brother.
Not the most eventful
week I would say but it
certainly had a good ending to it
at least where we left off. Would you agree?
I thought it was pretty eventful
actually because
we got to see Helen go on the block, which
was, I mean, last
week that seemed like a huge deal. Today it doesn't seem
like a huge deal because we're kind of used to it and
it ended up being such an anticlimactic
thing because everyone's still
a pussy in that house apparently, but
at the time it was very exciting to
see Helen. I mean, look, I'm frankly
sick of watching Helen lie to everybody's
face and give them fake mom love
I think that that is so cruel that's like going to an
orphanage and just telling every
kid there like you are the best kid
here I'm so adopting you
and then not adopting anybody she's a fake
mom
You know I have to say last week
I was like I'm over Helen
she made some dumb moves she doesn't realize when she wouldn't go after Amanda I was like you know what I have to say, last week, I was like, I'm over Helen. She made some dumb moves.
She doesn't realize when she wouldn't go after Amanda, I was like, you know what?
I'm sick of Helen.
She's fake.
She's phony.
She's calling Aaron the next Janelle, and she's being so stupid.
But this week, again, when she's an underdog, I find that that's when Helen and Alyssa are underdogs.
They sort of shine as characters for me.
Like, that's when I'm like, yes!
Like, fight!
You can get out of this.
You can get out of this. You can get out of this. And so, I
kind of had my love of Helen
and Alyssa, which was so strong in the
first few weeks of the game, has sort of been
reignited.
Well, that's so reality shows, isn't it, in general?
Like, the minute they're an underdog, you suddenly like
them. I mean, look at what a retard we are.
Oh, sorry. That's a really rude word.
Sorry, I didn't
mean it. Like, I didn't mean it like, you know,
mentally handicapped. Well, I guess I did.
But not the nice mentally handicapped people.
Not the Special Olympics type.
Yeah, just stupid people.
You know, like the kids say, retard.
Okay, stop being defensive, everybody out there.
Just dig your hole.
We're going to get a lot of YouTube hate right now.
People on YouTube hate us, by the way.
Oh, whatever. So, people on YouTube hate everybody going to get a lot of YouTube hate right now. People on YouTube hate us, by the way. Oh, whatever.
So, people on YouTube hate everybody.
That's the point of YouTube.
Don't you have a couple dummy accounts to tell everybody what idiots they are on YouTube?
It's the fun of it.
But anyway, that's how Rachel Riley became such a star, because she was the underdog.
Everyone hated Rachel during her season.
Everyone hated her during her second season.
But then she was the underdog and everybody
was being mean to her. And now look at her.
She's like, I don't know. She's got a job
at JCPenney. I don't know what she's doing.
But I'm sure she's doing great now.
Yeah, I'm sure.
I invited her to come on the
web show tonight in a last-ditch
effort to replace Matt.
And I tweeted at her and I was like,
hey, want to come on our web show? We do it over at Google Hangout,
and she didn't write back to us.
So I guess that maybe there were a lot of customers
in JCPenney at that time.
She's probably checking it out right now
to see what it is, and I just called her a retard.
So there goes that.
Sorry, sorry, Rachel.
She's heard a lot worse.
The point is this.
I'm back on Team Alyssa.
I'm back on Team Mom Squad. I'm back on Team Mom Squad.
Okay, does Alyssa have children or does she have stepchildren?
I think she has children.
I think she has real children.
I have discovered Reddit.
Do you ever go there?
It's like a huge social networking thing.
Yes, I may have heard of it here and there.
I have been going on there to read Big Brother threads
because people on there go crazy
over Big Brother and I've been
depressed and in bed a lot so I've been
reading a lot of Big Brother threads.
Okay, so I'm finding out all this shit because I don't
watch Life Eats as we've talked about.
Okay, so there's like these
hateful Alyssa threads, like
all the reasons to hate Alyssa.
And one of them is everyone's calling her a
gold digger because she's married to some semi-homely guy.
And he's got stepchildren and lives in Canada.
And she apparently still lives here.
And she's always talking about how much she loves him and everything.
But obviously she's young and hot and a yoga teacher.
And he's like some rich, homely guy.
Yeah.
So does she have her own children or are they stepchildren?
I have no idea.
But for someone to accuse someone on Big Brother of being a gold digger,
that's, to me, the most redundant accusation you can make.
You know they're on a show to compete, like, claw at people and attack people
and destroy their characters and to sacrifice their own values for money.
Of course she's a gold digger. They're all gold diggers.
Yeah, well, I have to say, good for Alyssa,
because apparently the stories that I read on Reddit,
apparently she met because Rachel was cocktailing in Vegas,
and she told Alyssa, like,
I gotta talk to that guy,
because he had, like, a black hammock or something.
And so Alyssa did, and she ended up hooking up with the guy.
And you know what I say?
First of all, all pretty girls end up with a homely guy.
Because they're usually nicer to you than hot guys.
And they don't cheat on you as much. Except
maybe with prostitutes. Check their email.
But for the most part, get a homely guy. Who cares?
And second of all, I forgot what
I was going to say. But go for the black
credit card. That sounds good. I'd do that.
I've never met anybody with a black credit card.
You should always do that.
I'm totally team Alyssa right now. I don't care
if she
is a gold digger.
You know what? I sadly
have to say
I'm Team Alyssa.
Thanks.
No offense.
Julie! Julie! I'm sadly... Julie
I sadly
Julie
I have to win this
like I realize
I have to win this
thanks
no offense
thanks for asking
I have to win this
I really have to.
I like Alyssa, even though she's a little...
I don't get Alyssa, actually.
Sometimes I feel like she's just a bimbo,
and sometimes I feel like she's shrewd,
and sometimes I feel like she's a mean girl, secretly,
and sometimes I feel like she's just this weird ethereal presence
who floats around in the house.
I feel like she's Rachel, but who's read How to Win Friends and Influence People.
She's learned to keep kind of a lid on that personality, but you can see that it's seeding.
You see it there, where she whines, or she doesn't get her way, or she's like,
If I leave this, I'm not even going to go to the jury house.
I know. Or whatever. But when she whines, she doesn't even going to go to the jury house. I know.
Or whatever.
But when she whines, she doesn't even whine in a classic whine way.
She's sort of just like, I'm just not going to go.
She's got a very relaxed whine.
She's a very relaxed whiner.
And that's, you know, tone really matters a lot when you whine, you know?
So I guess let's go back to Sunday night's
episode.
I don't remember anything from Sunday night's episode.
They had a challenge, a have or have not challenge
that took place in the dark.
And I actually loved that. That was amazing.
Yeah, that was awesome.
They were missing the giant key, and I love that Amanda's team
lost, because I love every time Amanda loses
a challenge. Oh, even before that,
we had the reaction to the Head of Household, and Amanda lost the Head of Household game, because I love every time Amanda loses a challenge. Oh, even before that, we had the reaction to the Head of Household,
and Amanda lost
the Head of Household game, because she was too
stupid to hear...
She heard like 15 seconds of a song, and she still
couldn't figure out if it was a veto ceremony, or
Head of Household, or have or have not.
So, she then climbed under
a counter, and then took a trash can,
blocked herself in, and then cried.
What did you think about that?
Well, I love watching Amanda lose even when
everybody hands her the entire
game. McRae obviously
tried to hand it to her. Then
Blondie, Erin, tried to hand it
to her and she still couldn't win. That girl
is so stupid.
And it's kind of, I don't know
because this season is getting,
has gotten so boring that part of me is rooting for her because at least she's doing something.
She's making an effort, even though it's turning everything so boring.
But the other part is she's just such a hateful bitch.
I thought the best part of the whole week was tonight, that scene where she was in the master bedroom, the HOH suite, talking about shock that anybody would call her a bully
and being like, well, what? Am I a bully?
Am I a bully? And nobody would
answer her.
And then Spencer's like, well, you're sort of assertive.
And she's like, no, I'm not.
Get out of here. I'm not a bully.
You know what she is? She's Kathy Moriarty
from Soap Dish. She's Montana Moorhead.
And there may even be the same twist at the end of Big Brother
as at the end of Soap Dish.
If you haven't watched it, watch it now.
Bitch. Hag. I hate her so much.
I'm kind. I'm relatable.
Those are my people, David. Those are my people.
Oh.
All soap, bitch.
Oh, my God. So, okay, so we started with Amanda. What are you looking at? Those are my people! Also bitch. Oh my...
So we started with Amanda...
What do you like of that?
Sorry.
A little more Montana.
I would like it if actually Amanda walked down the staircase
from the head of the household room with a little tray and goes,
Hello, mother.
Mother.
Amanda, let's see.
Amanda's a hateful bitch.
Okay, this is something I noticed during the baseball thing.
What are they feeding this cast?
My God.
I mean, we were both watching on the East Coast live feed,
which was stretched.
I don't know if you noticed that.
So I don't know if that added pounds or what.
I mean...
Yeah, they are eating.
They actually had a flashback on Wednesday's
show to
the big wine fight. And you can actually see
back then, in the first
week of the season, that Alyssa
has gained actually a lot of weight. She's quietly
gained a lot of weight.
I mean, it's really catty. I mean, who cares? Everyone's allowed
to gain weight. But if we're just talking about observations...
I've gained 50 pounds. So look, I'm not
throwing stones at glass roofs.
The Real House has a Miami reference.
These blend into each other.
But yeah,
I'm just wondering what they...
I mean, I guess you're sitting around all day eating,
but you're sitting around in front of cameras.
Are they eating stuffed crust pizzas?
What the hell is going on over there?
I'm surprised Amanda has not gained more weight
because every time they cut to her,
she's got her mouth full of beef jerky or something like that.
Amanda has.
She's always got a bowl of something.
Yeah, and all the fights happen in the kitchen
because the bitch is always eating.
And if she's not, she's humping her pizza boy somewhere else.
But yeah, tonight they were wearing, for the HOH competition,
they're all wearing those baseball uniforms.
And I was like, oh my god, what happened to Amanda?
It reminded me of a league
of their own. You remember when they were doing
all the promo pictures for the ladies' baseball
team, and they
took the picture of that homely girl from, like, all
the way back on the field? Like,
everyone else is, like, glamour shots, and they show
that girl, and she's just, like, you just see
this much of her. Let's just say
she's looking a little bit more like Tommy
Lasorda these days than she
is. My god, when was the last
time you said Tommy Lasorda?
Well, when I looked at Amanda. Oh gosh, this is the
cattiest podcast of all time. It is.
I mean, I don't even know. Who cares?
I mean, who cares? We're not going to have sex
with any of these people anyway.
It doesn't matter. It's just something I've noticed.
It's interesting. They've all gained so
much weight. It fills my tab for
us gaining weight.
That's very interesting.
To be honest, they've all gotten fat.
Well, Spencer's maintained his level,
I think, of just general fatness.
No, Spencer's just at that
point anyway. Spencer, I think,
is at the same point I am where you can gain
20 pounds and you don't even have to buy any pants
because your fat will just spill over the pants.
What is the deal with Spencer,
by the way? What is the deal with Spencer? At the beginning of the
season, he was a strategist. He was like,
I'm ready to turn this house upside down. He got
caught in a fuel line in the moving company
and then the second moving company.
And now he's just like a neutered
dog who sits there and
smiles and plays nice
but what is his endgame?
yeah makes child rape jokes
but what is his endgame?
because he's not going to
eventually
you know they're going to run out of
who knows what happens with this twist
but they're going to run out of Helen
and then they're going to get rid of Alyssa
and then like Spencer has to realize
and then Gina Marie
there's no future for him in this
why has he been so laid back?
Because he has
no options. He has no options.
Every time he's tried to make a move,
someone rats.
That's just how this cast is.
Well, first it was McRae.
McRae was the first one to break up that
because he started getting a little
moose vagina
or whatever. So McRae was the first one to spill it.
But then it became, I was going to say rhino.
That's the sound that Amanda makes when she wants McRae.
She goes,
And he's like, huh?
He hides under a bed and she finds him.
It's like the dinner horn on Flintstones.
She's ready to feed.
McCrae's going to be hooked up like the Matrix,
like the humans,
in a giant set of batteries in Amanda's house.
Yeah, McCrae was the first one to squelch but then it turned into Andy
Andy, Andy, Andy
we got some comments last week that I thought were pretty
interesting about Andy saying
he's not a floater at all, he picked a side
early and just because he's going back and forth
doesn't make him, I don't know
somehow he's made choices so he's not a floater
I don't know, I mean now he's made
a pretty specific choice that he's
sticking with but only because he's been outed
and he has to stick with it right
what do you think
he has now he has been outed
I just wonder what is it about
Andy that has made us hate him now
because for some people
I hate his guts
I hate him
he has no idea
that's what I love about this show
they have no idea that we hate them.
So when he's like,
well...
He thinks he's so
cute, and it's like, you're not cute anymore. I hate your guts.
I hope you die.
There are some people on this show
who will lie to someone's face,
and we love it. We love
when they're lying to someone's face.
We're like, oh, they're getting away with it.
Oh, they're playing this game so well.
But for some reason, Andy,
it's coming off in this awful way.
Is it because he's aligned with Amanda and
McCray? Is it
because he's not
really committing to being sneaky because he's crying?
I think it's because
he's that character who's like,
okay, you know in movies how
there's like Large Marge? She's the one in
jail who beats everybody up to get
their cigarettes. She's like horrible.
She's a big mean bully.
I thought you meant the bus driver on P.B. Herman.
Yeah, but it's that type who's just like
scary. Large Marge.
Like a scary one.
And then he's just like that little
wuss. Like he's always, okay, let's say
like Peppermint Patty. You know how Peppermint
Patty's really popular, but Marcy's
not? Because Marcy just kisses her butt
and does whatever she wants. He's like Marcy.
It's like, hee hee hee! It's like he
has no personality of his own.
He has no ideas
of his own, no plan of his own.
Nothing of his own. It's all hitched onto somebody else
and every time anything happens
he runs to them and starts snitching on them
he's just horrible
he's like a horrible little queen
I think it makes people less trustful of gay people
we've already got enough issues
in this world without little queens like you
walking around with your wiggle shirts
and your duck shorts
fucking everything up.
Andy! Shut up, Andy!
I think that it's also, he doesn't seem
to have an endgame that we can
get behind.
What is his endgame? His endgame is that he's aligned
with Aaron and this
double-headed monster.
Where's that going to lead him?
He honestly thinks, and we
talked about the trials
and tribulations of a hag fag last
week, always getting screwed over when the
girl finds a boyfriend,
which has happened to every hag fag
alive, including me, like
times five in the past five years.
But we've already talked
about that. But I think that he honestly
believes in his heart of hearts, his
white, gingery, freckled heart
of hearts, that she's really going to
choose him over McRae. He really
thinks that at the end of the day, Amanda is
going to choose him
over the dick.
I think his game is actually
fucked right now because
he's proven to be
sneaky and a liar, and people really
hate that on the jury. When people say, you know, I trusted you for so long and you were sneaky, at least Amanda, I knew what she was. sneaky and a liar, and people really hate that on the jury.
When people say, you know,
I trusted you for so long and you were sneaky,
at least Amanda, I knew what she was.
She was a bully.
She's like a crazy, you know,
giant trash can of a woman,
but I knew what she was.
You know, but Andy, like,
you made me feel like you were friends,
and you're not.
I think he's like, he has been exposed,
and you know what? I think that Helen and Alyssa
made a sort of compelling case to him
by saying, you're going to have a lot more targets on your back now.
And it's true.
These idiots just have to get into power, you know?
Yeah, well, when he said, you know,
my biggest fear is that someone's going to put me on the block,
and I'd just freak out.
You know, and by the way, have you noticed that he's Don Knotts, basically?
He's basically Don Knotts.
He's like, what's going on downstairs?
He's always going underneath the house
to find out what's going on
with those three people who live down there.
There's no gay person down here.
He's like, is it there?
It's totally cool.
It's totally cool.
I just want to know.
I just want to know.
I just want to know. He's always doing the wave thing. He's always doing is it there? It's totally cool. It's totally cool. I just want to know. I just want to know. I just want to know.
He's always doing the wave thing.
He's always doing, you know, us gays, we do have a special move,
which is that if we ever want to avoid contact, we go like this a lot.
It's like we wipe it away.
We're like, listen, you're kind of a bitch.
I'm just trying to be honest.
That's it.
Just trying to be honest.
Oh, my God.
It's because the only time we ever learned self-defense was from, like,
jerking off to the Karate Kid
in the 80s.
Like, the half-wax on.
But yeah, Andy...
I just cannot stand Andy.
And I don't even know that I want him
to be kicked off at this point. I almost
want him to grow a pair.
You know, the gay part
of me, which is pretty large,
spiritually at least, not physically.
But spiritually it's really large.
Physically I'm straight, I think.
Anyway, that part of me is rooting for him to just grow a pair and, like, stop making us look bad.
Be the one gay guy on Big Brother who's not a fucking idiot.
Please!
I know, I know.
I don't think it's going to happen.
It's not going to.
And in the meantime, he's just plummeting in public opinion.
I mean, he was doing so well for so long, and now he's just awful.
And then we have Erin.
Erin has gone on an interesting journey here in Big Brother.
She went from being the most hated, because, you know, she's racist, you know,
and she's awful and immature,
and along the way she has learned how to be friendly to people.
I don't know if it's for real or fake, but at a certain point, she's starting to become the lesser of the evils, which is awful.
It's an awful statement that the racist, the hardcore racist who drives an ATV through junkyards is the lesser of the evils.
Wearing a bikini.
Wearing a bikini.
Yeah, she's pretty awful.
But that being said, she's become too much of a doormat.
Well, she's also a terrible player.
She's also just terrible.
I mean, she's been such a good game player.
Like, she's won so many, you know, she's won the most competitions,
and I think she's tied for the most ever, right?
Most HOHs ever. I think
if she wins one more, she's going to pull ahead
of Rachel. Was it Rachel?
Anyway, I don't know. My stats suck, you guys.
I admit it up front. I'm really just good about being
bitchy about people.
So anyway,
what was I saying? God, I
can't stick on anything. Will someone send me
some Adderall? We need to
get a PO box. Erin, she's playing stick on anything. Will someone send me some Adderall? We need to get a P.O. Box.
Erin, she's playing a horrible game.
She's winning the competitions, which is really good,
but she's played to Amanda so much that she's totally screwed now.
I mean, really, in her mind, I guess maybe it could be considered smart
because, yes, everyone hates her even more as we go on
because she's playing Amanda's game, but
Amanda cannot win a competition
to save her life. So maybe she's
thinking she's dragging this
homely potato sack to the end so she can
beat her.
Maybe, I don't know. I mean, the thing is
I still, if it's Aaron
and Amanda at the end, I actually don't know who would win
because Amanda was calling all the shots.
I think the jury would recognize that
but then Aaron did win a lot of competitions.
What really drives me nuts is that what we saw
on Wednesday's show is that
when Helen finally realized that Andy
was not on her side,
Helen basically went up to Aaron
and gave her some real talk and was like,
listen, you have to put
Amanda up on the block.
You have to do it. She's been calling all the shots.
It's the Amanda McRae show.
They don't care about anyone else.
You're getting all the blood on their hands.
And Aaron's like, you know, you're right.
I've done everything for them.
Every time I've been HOH, I've done everything for them.
Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah.
And then we have this weird fight where they revisit the wine situation,
and Aaron calls Amanda rude because Amanda said, check their mouths. I think that
maybe Aaron thought that Amanda
was being like, check your mouth, not like, check their
mouth for red wine and stuff. Anyway,
they get into a fight. Yeah, I didn't understand that.
That's another thing about this season.
These fights don't even make any sense. She said,
I'm going to go around and, I said, go around
and check their mouths because you can see the stains on
their teeth, and Aaron's like, that was a bitchy thing
to say. Yeah.
Aaron's like, what are you, a black person with that mouth?
Oh, God.
She's terrible.
Like, what is she saying?
What is she talking about?
I don't know.
And Amanda's just as dumb because she's like, oh, no, don't you even.
Don't you even.
She's like, well, you said it.
Amanda's like, because Amanda always has utensils in her hand.
She always has a spoon or
a spatula. She's like, you can't
put that on me. You can't put that on me.
Actually, wait. I'm going to pretend I'm Amanda because Amanda
always wears something where there's something
hanging off her shoulder. So she's always like,
pretend I don't have the
other red shirt on. She's like,
she's like,
what?
You can't say that about me,
Aaron. You can't. I'm sorry, you can't.
You were the bitch there. No, you were the bitch.
If you think I wasn't the bitch...
But this is
the way Amanda dresses.
She always has...
Her shirt is supposed to be like this,
but inevitably it's down here like this.
She's like, I want to audition
to Flash Chance. What's wrong with that?
I want to be in Flash Chance.
I'm Jennifer Beals.
That's a bitchy thing to say.
I just said, check your mouth.
Check your mouth.
Oh, poor Erin.
Poor Erin.
She's really in for a rude awakening when she gets out of there.
People are just going to kill her when she gets out of there.
She is going to be killed.
But the thing is this, with Amanda, so Erin, after this whole fight, she gets up there and. She is going to be killed. But the thing is this,
with Amanda,
so Aaron, after this whole fight,
she gets up there and she's really,
they fight,
and then Aaron's really,
she's really pissed off.
She's like,
she's like, I can't,
she needs to be taught a lesson or whatever.
And all this stuff,
and next thing we know,
we go to commercial,
we come back,
she's like,
okay, I'm putting Spencer on the block.
I'm like, what?
And then she says, well, I'm scared,
but what would she be scared of if Amanda's on the block? I'm sure they could have
gotten her kicked out.
And here, that was also a pretty
pivotal moment, because
Amanda, I mean, I keep getting
them confused. It's like, I get all those racists.
They all look the same. But
Aaron, that was a pivotal moment
because Aaron had a fit.
She went upstairs.
She bitched that she's done nothing but do what Amanda wants,
and it's time to get rid of that bitch.
And I'm sure that at some point it was said that they just don't have the votes to do that, period.
That's why she didn't do it.
But she went off, and I think the reason it was a pivotal moment
is because she was going off to Gump, to gay Gump, Andy.
So what is he going to do?
He's going to run straight to Peppermint Patty and tell her everything, and Aaron's going to be a target.
She's a fucking idiot.
You know, like, if you're going to align yourself with the devil, don't be bitch-talking fire, you know?
Just be okay with fire.
Be okay with, like, eating baby souls, okay?
Just fake it until the end.
Like, don't suddenly start, like, trying to form a union to, like, get an air conditioner and, hell, you dumb bitch, you're supposed to be on Satan's side.
Well, Cindy from Joker's Updates told me that what she told me was that, I guess, Aaron was this close to putting up Amanda, and then Amanda got to Aaron first and had a talk to Aaron
and got into Aaron's head, and Aaron stayed with the plan.
It drives me nuts.
It drives me nuts.
Yeah.
Yeah, but, you know, she's like the mean lunch lady in your face.
You're going to just eat that top of tea.
I know.
Okay, so I want to go...
Let's do a little reading here.
Bethany, talk to you later because Miss Cleo
is not here today because she didn't watch enough
live feeds.
Lazy bitch.
We have some updates on the HOH competition
courtesy of our dearest
Emmy McAdams-Burbano.
Okay, Bethany does too.
You do it.
I'll read what Emmy said. Emmy can... Let's see. Emmy says
Amanda has four balls. Jesse is down.
Oh, that's too bad. Judd,
Helen, and Candice are still up. I hope
that Judd is not the one who comes back.
That would just be the worst. Yeah, Bethany says
so far off the wall is Aaron, Spencer, McRae,
Gina Marie.
Alyssa has five balls. Amanda's
still up, I guess. Alyssa has five balls. Go, up i guess elissa has five balls go elissa even though i'm not
uh gina marie has three balls and i don't know how many balls she has in the competition though
um also i think it's important to point out you know a lot of times after after these shows some
of the comments are like well how can you be you be on this person's side this week when
last week you were saying, listen,
that shit all goes out the window
every week. Every episode.
Every episode. Listen,
Alyssa is a wuss.
She's playing a pretty horrid game
for the most part, socially at least.
I mean, I know she's won some stuff and got some people
evicted, helped get people evicted in the beginning.
I get it. But for the most part know she's won some stuff and helped get people evicted in the beginning. I get it.
But for the most part, she's playing
a terrible game. We like her because it's fun
to imitate her occasionally. It's fun
watching her talk about math. And also,
she's the only person who's going to be
able to flip the house. She's the only
person who's going to put up Amanda. Nobody
else is going to put up Amanda, okay?
So, I think that's enough reason
to get off her ass. Okay.
Let's see, so
Manolette Carrera says,
I hate Arian because she's not
only a racist, but she confuses me when
I look at her eyebrows. High five
there. She's got like total eyebrows.
What is that? Well, she had, it's like
Caitlin left and left her
terrible eyebrow job. What is that? Well, I think, did's like Caitlin left and left her her terrible eyebrow job.
What is that?
Well, I think, did someone say, can someone confirm that Andy gave her some sort of makeover and ruined her?
Of course.
He's a terrible gay on all fronts.
He's a terrible gay.
He can't even do makeup.
Yeah, terrible gay.
Pat Bauer says, I can't tell where GM's hair stops and that muffin begins.
Also, since when were muffins a thing sold at concession stands at baseball games?
Katie King KK
on Twitter says, GM pretends
the ball's flying at her face or nicks and wins
BB-15.
Nick!
Nick!
What about that competition
where they had the OTAB competition and they all had to jump in the water and she's like, yes, all I'm trying to do is just find Knicks.
I'm just trying to find millions of Knicks and they're stupid.
Find love letters to Nick and she's going to pretend that they're probably from Nick to her.
She's like, yo, all I've got in this game is, I know that Otev didn't really write it.
He's a chipmunk.
I know that Nick wrote it for me,
and I don't want the other houseguests to feel bad.
They didn't get letters from Otev.
Oh, Nick wrote me some poems.
Hey, Nick wrote me something.
It says, keep back 500 feet.
Yeah, that's the message I'll use.
Keep back from Nick.
He's mine.
Yeah.
Oh, poor Gina Marie.
Amanda's like, you don't get it?
You don't get it?
Why don't you get it?
Let me look here.
I hate Andy because he's aligned with people and he can't win.
Oh, because the people he's aligned with.
Wait, who is left standing on the competition?
I missed who you said had fallen.
Yeah, you guys.
Tell us who's still up.
Because we ain't watching that crap.
Yeah, we don't.
Let's see.
Where is Miss Cleo, by the way?
She's.
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I don't know. She's not
on here today. That's alright. We have plenty
of non-Miss Cleo's.
Yeah, whatever. Screw you. It's already
week two. You're already flaking on work,
Miss Cleo.
Let's see. Prognosis,
prognosis. Okay, yes. So,
some of the fun stuff that I thought was happening
that I was reading about on these
feed threads was
that Helen and Alyssa
have been going and bullying everybody.
Okay? Oh my god.
So, you know, we saw a little bit of this scene
where Helen's telling Aaron,
Helen, first of all, is so
fucking full of herself.
Look, I just gave myself an earthquake.
I know, you guys are dropping like an earthquake over there.
Yeah, I am. Sorry, I need to like,
I just can't sit without leaning on something.
I can't just sit
with my hands off the desk.
But anyway.
Lean like this.
But no, because my hand's on the desk, so see when I get upset, I still do it.
Like, if I burp.
What sort of desk do you have over there?
What sort of desk?
Yeah, it must be rickety.
It's like, you can't even lean on it.
I'm a big guy.
What do you want me to install it with cement? It's an Ikea desk I put together myself. Of course. I'm a big guy. What do you want me to install it with cement?
It's an idea that's got put together myself.
Of course, I'm a poor person.
Helen is so unbearably into herself.
It's just so uncomfortable to watch.
She's like, you go, you go.
And then she's talking like she's crying up about Alyssa.
First off, she totally betrayed Alyssa this week.
And I'm surprised that more people aren't talking about that.
She went up to the room where everybody has power
and started bitching about Alyssa to them
and turning on her and saying she couldn't carry her anymore through the game.
What the hell, Helen?
So that was one thing, and then kept on crying and crying and crying.
So the other thing was Andy was saying that he was being bullied,
like he ran to Amanda and said that they're bullying him because
of this thing tonight where Helen's telling Andy,
listen, America is
watching you, Andy, okay? America
is watching, and they love us.
And if you get rid of us, they're going to know
it was your vote, and America's not going to
like you. Well, she was
kind of right. I mean, she's kind of
right. I mean, who
out there is honestly rooting for Amanda McRae and the 3AM Alliance?
I'm sorry.
I mean, Helen maybe told it.
Well, Helen's been trending all week on Twitter, and it's not Helen.
It's shut the fuck up Helen has been trending all week on Twitter.
She's annoying as fuck.
She is, but I mean, I'd rather Helen than Amanda McRae.
I'm sorry, people.
I know she's annoying.
I wouldn't.
It's what we have. I's annoying. I wouldn't. It's what we have.
I want Helen. I wouldn't. I mean, I would
rather Helen because she has a chance
of getting Amanda out now, even though
it's way too late and I've lost all respect for her,
and I hate her fake mom hugs and her
fruit roll-ups. Shut up. But
I would much rather Amanda because at least
she's entertaining. I mean, Helen's just
awful.
She's boring and horrible. I mean, like I said, I think she's entertaining. I mean, Helen's just awful. She's boring and horrible.
I mean, like I said, I think she's a good underdog.
I will say, when she was evicted and she was up there with Julie
and she was talking and talking and talking,
I was getting stressed out.
I'm like, we're going to run out of time.
We're not going to see the competition.
Shut up, Helen.
I know.
You know this is a live show and we all want to see the end of this, Helen.
Or what about when she was getting evicted and she's like,
I've shown. We all want to see the end of this.
Helen. Or what about when she was getting evicted and she's like,
to my husband, to my children,
to the lighting guys,
to the camera guy
behind the mirror,
to whoever mows the lawn out here
on this fake set. It's like, shut up,
Helen. This is not the Oscars.
Stop talking, Helen.
Shut the fuck up, Helen.
She's not the best, but I feel like she's the best of what we
have right now.
Yeah. No. She's horrible.
She's an awful human being.
So let's talk about... Just a big
brother, you guys. Just a big brother.
So, okay.
And they've forgiven me on Facebook for saying
retard, so thank you, Facebook. Thank you very
much. Okay, here is the update from the live feed.
Alyssa, Gina Marie, Amanda, Candice, Helen, and Judd
are still standing.
Alyssa is in the lead.
So that means of the jurors, we got Candice, Helen, and Judd.
Okay, so let's talk about this competition.
So they all have to stand on one platform
thank you what's her name
Shark Week
that was Brenda Jane
Shark Whisperer
thank you Brenda
she soothes sharks
so
they have to stay
I was so excited
the jurors are coming back in
I can't wait for this.
I can't wait to see who's going to come in.
It's going to be a dual competition.
Like, somewhat we're going to see both who gets to come back in the house
and we get to see who's HOH and maybe one of the jurors gets to be HOH.
I was like, this is going to be amazing.
Yeah, Julie's like, hey, everybody, we're going to Disneyland.
And then she just stops like a mile away and kicks you out of the car.
Yeah, but even worse, it was like, and she kept on saying,
this is a historic event. I'm like, well, it's not, and she kept on saying, like, this is a historic event.
I'm like, well, it's not really that historic. This is not
going in the history books of anything.
But, that being said,
so they are all standing on these little platforms.
They're like, okay, you gotta catch balls. I'm like, yes!
Here it comes. I just assumed, like, just tons
of balls were coming. And then first they, like, stand
there, and then the platform's like,
and so they, like, go down like that.
And I was like, I'm like, okay, here come the balls. And then there platform's like, and so they go down like that. And I was like,
I'm like, okay, here come the balls.
And then there's like 20 seconds of
dead air, where everyone's just standing around,
and Julie Chen has
one tiny line of filler.
She's like, are you ready?
You're like, yes.
It's been 10 seconds, and then there's another 5 seconds,
and you hear like, play ball! And then
three balls, and then you're like, okay. So Jesse gets a ball, and then we're sitting there, and then there's, like, another five seconds, and you hear, like, play ball! And then, like, three balls, and then you're, like,
okay, so Jesse
gets a ball, and then we're sitting there, and then they're, like,
ahhh!
And then Julie's,
like, okay, houseguests,
it turns out that the
lawn crew messed up, and then it's, like,
silent, and I'm, like, messed up what? Because someone
cursed. So I'm, like, what's happening?
And then you just hear, like, a sprinkler system! I'm, like, oh, here we go. And then, like, fire hoses, like, messed up what? Because someone cursed. So I'm like, what's happening? And the news here is a sprinkler system.
I'm like, oh, here we go. And then, like,
fire hoses, like, we're in
freaking Selma, you know,
down in the south in
1964. I'm like, psh, like,
shooting at these people, and they're like, ahhh!
Like this. I'm like, okay.
And then they're like, I'm like, okay, so now here comes more baseballs.
Like, no, like, ahhh!
Ahhh! I'm like, what is going on? I'm like, this is so boring. This is like, I'm like, okay, so now here comes more baseballs. Like, no, like, I'm like,
what is going on?
I'm like,
this is so boring.
This is like,
I'm so excited and this is so
goddamn boring.
And then finally,
Jiu Chen's like,
it looks like
it's gonna be
a long night house.
Guess everyone's like,
huh?
And then like,
it's like,
three more balls
and they're like,
someone catches one.
I'm like,
oh my god.
This could've been done by now. They could have just been shot like a whole bunch of
balls. Yes, that's what I was
hoping for. First, I saw
baseball and I was like, this is rigged
for the dyke, for Amanda.
Peppermint Batty's so gonna win this.
And I also thought, thank god Andy can't
win. It's almost like they never want
Andy to win. A couple of weeks ago, he
accused production of cheating.
We have an update.
We have an update. Are you going to say
he's going to win? Because you need to give a spoiler alert.
This is a spoiler alert on which juror
is going to be back in the house.
Okay, count to five.
Wait, count to ten, and we
won't be talking about it anymore. Okay, who is it?
Judd. Judd is back.
Called it. Okay.
Good! Someone can help hand that game to Amanda some more. Yay! Great job, Judd. Judd is back. Called it. Okay. Good.
Someone can help have that game to Amanda some more.
Yay.
Great job, Judd.
Did you know it will?
Yes.
All right.
Okay.
So we're back.
What were we... You know what I would have liked more than if they threw baseballs at them?
How about baseball bats?
Just take them all out like a bunch of wooden bats.
Just fling them all.
They just all get knocked out.
How about just like black babies? Let's just fling like unwanted black babies at them
and see who can do it without crying
or making a racist comment first.
I want to see who can
return from consciousness
first from getting
like horseshoes thrown at their heads.
I was hoping
that it was going to be like a batting cage where they're like
boom, boom, boom,
like right in their face, and that it was just
going to be over and over and over.
How about just like bullets?
Hammers.
How about they're just like,
okay everybody, put your head
in this noose, jump off the platform,
whoever gurgles for the longest without dying wins.
How about they just take, like, torches, like,
how about they just take, like, a Molotov cocktail
and just throw them at them?
Okay, everyone, whoever catches the most Molotov cocktails wins.
Whoever, we're going to chop off your fingers one by one.
Whoever cries last wins
oh big brother
I'll be weak
I'm really not happy about this
I won't say who
you were hoping for Helen
I actually wanted Helen or Jesse
personally
Jesse would just go in and yell at everybody,
which I guess would be entertaining for a few seconds.
But she would have been really petty.
She would have put up Amanda and McCray.
I don't know.
I want to know what happened.
Like, five minutes ago, three people were up,
and now all of a sudden we have a juror.
So I'm nervous.
Well, you know, here's another really sad, scary thing about Judd.
He blamed Helen.
Tonight we saw the jury house.
We saw them all talking trash.
And we know that they all blamed Helen for all those moves that Amanda initiated.
I mean, yes, Helen was the one who ended up going to Aaron
and talking her into putting up Judd last second and backdooring him.
But technically that all came from Amanda
because she was so paranoid that Judd was the MVP backdooring him. But technically, that all came from Amanda, because she was so paranoid that Judd was the
MVP who put her up.
Exactly. Amanda's the one who introduced that whole idea.
And there was nobody
to tell Judd that.
I mean, if Helen, maybe Helen had a chance to
kind of tell him, but he's not going to listen to Helen
because he thinks she's the one who got him in trouble in the first place.
Doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter, really.
I'm defeated. I just want to see Amanda get kicked out of there.
First of all, I'd like to see if...
I'm sorry, but someone wrote
somewhere, I think on our Facebook page or on
Twitter, that when
Judd came back into the house,
the four jurors came back into the house for like one big
happy hug fest, and I think
he whispered to Alyssa that he was going to
put up Amanda and McCray, something like that.
Oh, really? Yeah.
We'll see. Well, let's hope.
That guy changes. I mean, you want to talk
about a floater. That guy really was a floater.
He would just switch back and forth to
whichever side had... By the way, I'm sorry
for the earthquake, but I'm doing a pee-downs while I
sit here because I've been trying to drink a lot of water
to make myself
look younger, and
I've got to pee so bad.
Is there much
left that we have to discuss?
What else happened?
One interesting thing that
happened that will never be shown
on the show and that people are saying
that there's a big conspiracy
is that Aaron on the live feed
said that they have a black llama
at their house and they named it Martin Luther
King because it's black.
And then she laughed when it got shot
because it was just like Martin Luther King.
She's fucking horrid.
That girl. She's awful. She needs to watch
Lee Daniels the butler right away.
Oh my god.
Please.
No I'm glad.
I'm glad that came out
because we've gone too long without hearing
a really heinous comment from her
and we need something like that to remind us
that she actually is a vile human being.
Big Brother is a study
to watch how fucking fickle people are.
Because one, and us included.
But, I mean, Erin,
everyone's on Erin's side now. If you read all
these boards, everyone's like, oh, Erin, at least she's
playing, and she learned her lesson, because
in the diary room, they told her to stop being such a
racist, and so she learned her lesson, and
now she's not being a racist. I'm like,
there are no black people left in the house. That's why
she's not being racist.
She got rid of the Asian lady, so
all that's really, honestly, Amanda should be scared
because Amanda's Jewish.
So, you know, she's not an anagram
for Aryan for nothing. You know what I'm saying?
Listen,
Aaron's been doing
something that the Nazis do really well,
which is just following orders.
So, I'd be scared.
I'm going to get in trouble now because people on
Joker's Updates got so mad at me because I had a headline for one of my posts.
It was just like a jokey thing playing off the racism thing.
When Amanda started to become an awful person and started to become racist,
my headline was, is Amanda the Stalin to Aaron's Hitler?
Because my whole thing was that in World War II, Hitler was the evil one.
Everyone hated Hitler, and we were, like, allies with Stalin.
We're like, yeah, let's go with Hitler.
And then we realized, oh, shit, Stalin's terrible.
Stalin is awful.
So people, I got a lot of, like, hate mail
because people were like, for you,
that's, like, one of the,
these are some of the worst killers in history,
and for you to make light of that is not funny,
and it's tasteless.
So if I offend anyone about
resurrecting the Hitler comparison,
I'm sorry if you're offended.
No, hey, if you're offended, fuck off.
You're in the wrong fucking place to be offended.
I'm Jewish, by the way. Okay? You are in the wrong place.
If you've sat through even five
minutes of any of our shows and are offended
at anything, fuck off.
You're in the wrong place! There's so many
places you can go talk about things
without humor, and you can be nice to everybody.
And guess what, bitch? It ain't here.
Okay? Bye! Bye!
We're not saying that Aaron
wants to start a genocide, and we're not making
light of Hitler, like
the real things that Hitler did.
We are making light at, like,
you know, that he is the symbol of racism.
I'm sorry, people. You just have to deal with that.
That's just the legacy.
And if you want, I can switch to Pol Pot.
If that makes it any easier, I can equate her to Pol Pot.
But that's more on the genocidy side.
And also, Pol Pot's just not
as well-known. You'd have, like, so much more
explaining to do. That was already a lot of
explaining, but, like, Pol Pot,
I mean, I'd be like, what? I don't get that. I'd have to look it up.
You don't want people having to Google your mean jokes.
I'd be like, Aaron is such a
Milosevic.
Yeah, I make things much easier. I compare
people to like cartoon characters. I'm like,
she looks like, you know, someone from
the Flintstones or whatever because I know that people
will get it. See, I was a history major
at Dartmouth, so unfortunately I
always, and I, and my senior
thing that I wrote focused
on Germany
from 1933 to 1945, so
my brain just automatically always
goes to World War II, so I apologize, everyone.
But that's just the way I am.
I'm an uneducated, stupid
Texan. And I'm proud
of it! Yeah, cartoon references!
You're just like Aaron.
Hitler or no Hitler, I think we should be allowed to make Stupid Texan. And I'm proud of it. Yeah, cartoon reference. Yeah, you're just like Aaron. Just like Aaron.
Yeah.
Hitler or no Hitler.
I think we should be allowed to make as many Jewish jokes as we want.
We make fun of black people, Mexicans, gays.
I mean, listen to how horrible we are to gay people.
I know.
We're so self-hating.
We're penis lovers.
Wait.
Can I get back onto something else with Aaron?
Apparently she accidentally drank some nail polish remover last night.
Did you hear about that?
How do you accidentally drink it?
Was she trying to get drunk? Well, you know, listen,
if you're someone who rides ATVs
through junkyards in bikinis,
sometimes you don't know the difference
between rubbing alcohol and real alcohol.
I don't know what happened.
If someone could tweet us and tell us
how they fixed her and how they saved her life, I would't know what happened. If someone could tweet us and tell us how
they fixed her and how they saved
her life, I would like to know that.
Someone do it quickly, because otherwise we're going to end the show.
Do it now!
Yeah, they can't clean.
Nail polish remover cannot clean
the evil out of you.
She's like, I wasn't trying to clean the evil out of
me. It's more like I was thinking about
black people. I just needed to purge myself.
Purge myself of the thoughts of black people.
Don't say purge yourself.
That's me to bulimics, and Gina Marie is a bulimic,
and you're hurting bulimics feelings.
She is?
Gina Marie is a bulimic?
Oh, yeah.
She's bulimic, yeah.
Like she's talked about it in the house.
That's why she was able to have no gag reflex
and swallow all that yogurt that time.
Remember when she was like, oh, God.
There's so many facets to this cast. no gag reflex and swallow all that yogurt that time. Remember when she was like, So many
facets to this cast.
Nick!
Then she went and barfed it all up and she said
that she's a believer. Nick!
She barfs all the time. She's like, Nick!
I'll never barf up your semen.
Nick!
We're ending on
swallowing semen. Nice.
I made a gross joke nice I made a gross joke
and you thought Hitler was the worst
no semen's definitely
swallowing semen jokes are definitely
worse than do-killer jokes
this is what Nick's semen also looks like
it's fluffy
it comes out like a big fluffy
it just splooges out like a fluff
you know Nick It's fluffy. It comes out like a big fluffy. It just splooges out like a fluff like that.
You know Nick
is still hiding under a bed
and he has been beat.
Actually, speaking of Rachel Riley,
she posted a picture today
on Twitter, I think it was today,
of her and Brendan and then Nick
in the backseat of their car like
I was like, oh God, where are they taking
him? Are they taking him high up
into some mountain somewhere to hide him? Poor thing.
We have an update
on the latest falls on
the Head of Household Competition.
Everyone ready?
Okay, everyone, if you don't want a spoiler,
count to ten. Okay, Ben, go.
Meanwhile, we've been, by the way, we're terrible because we're like,
the last time we were like, well, for ten
seconds we won't mention anything
and then the 10 seconds left and we've been talking about it.
Okay, 10 seconds starts now.
Now, Judd has fallen off.
He will not be head of household.
Oh.
I figured.
I think it's going to be Alyssa.
I hope it's not Amanda.
I think they've been like
they put Velcro on her hands
and then they're putting like
Velcro balls to like make sure she gets it.
Because, okay, here's a question I have.
Alyssa, this is another live
feed thing. Alyssa has been
saying, making comments like how the
producers are helping her. For example,
in the Have Not room, she has like a
down comforter.
She's saying, I guess
that she's been calling her family. She's made
comments like, I'm Rachel's sister.
How am I not going to win? You know they're
going to help me win.
She's been making all these comments about all
this help she's getting in the diary room and how
they're kind of slanting it to her favor.
And then there have been all those rumors that
Amanda is a friend of somebody on production
and it's been rigged from the beginning for her to win.
And these rumors started like like, week two.
How much truth do you think there is to that?
Because so much of these games are like carnival games.
Like, how could they rig them?
I don't know.
I think it can't be...
First of all, it's highly illegal to rig it.
So there's that.
It's not, though.
Isn't it?
Oh, it's in the contract?
No, they have that game show law. That's what, though. Isn't it? Because they have, no. Oh, it's in the contract? No, they have that game show laws.
That's what you're talking about, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, they have some game show law, a quiz show law,
but that somehow doesn't apply here because of something.
I don't know.
I read it last year when everybody was saying
that it was rigged in Rachel's favor and it was illegal.
But supposedly it doesn't apply to Big Brother
because it's not really a game show.
It's an entertainment.
Okay.
I don't know.
Alright, so let's see. These are the comments on Facebook.
Lisa Pierce has a very important point here.
She says, Stalin actually hated Jews too.
No one likes us. Sad face. You know what,
Lisa? You're right. No one does like us.
Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry, Jews. You know what?
You own all of fucking California.
You own all of Hollywood. Everyone has to kiss their ass.
For now, until you decide to, like,
genocide us again. No one's gonna
genocide you. You guys are so
tight. Like, you know one thing
I asked my mom about?
I don't know why I'm talking about this, but I was like,
Mom, why is it that the
Christians are always fighting with each other? The Muslims
are chopping each other's heads off.
You know, like, all these religions have all these
problems. The Jews?
The Jews are so together.
You go to a Jews holiday,
it's like all the cousins,
everyone's so tight.
They never turn on each other.
They're always so, so tight.
She said, well, you know what, Ronnie?
That's why they're the chosen people.
Thank you.
We also have the best hot dogs,
Hebrew National.
Yeah.
You guys stick together.
I think at the end of the day it all comes down
to teamwork guys.
We're always being persecuted.
We're always being persecuted.
We don't have a persecution complex.
We have a persecution track history.
You guys are always being persecuted
but you know who we all
want to kill all the time?
The cheerleader. The most gorgeous cheerleader
who's rich. Everybody's nice to her, but they secretly
want to genocide her ass.
Because she's cuter than everybody else.
And she's richer than everybody else. And you know
what, guys? Sometimes we just feel
fat and poor next to you.
Alright, Jews? So have fun
with your good lookingness. And also,
Jewish people have gigantic wieners. Is that true?
No comments.
No comments. So you see?
So elsewhere on the feed.
It's not hate, Jews. It's jealousy.
We're jealous of you, okay?
Elsewhere on the feed, Lisa Pierce says,
I love you, Ronnie Caron.
With many exclamation points. Back at you,
Pierce.
Curly Q says, she should try bleach,
which I think has something to do with Aaron.
Okay, so let's talk a little bit of strategy.
Swallow bleach, yes.
She needs to swallow Drano like in Heathers,
how they killed the main Heather with Drano.
Yeah, let's talk a little bit of strategy.
What could Alyssa do this week if she doesn't win HOH?
If someone from 3AM wins HOH,
what could she do to turn the
tide? Can she do anything?
Who?
Alyssa. And she almost fell a couple of minutes ago.
She was hanging on to the thing you put your
balls in and facing the wall, squatting.
According to Emma.
The only thing Alyssa could really do
to turn the tide
is to make
Amanda believe
that Aaron is gunning for her.
That's really the only thing she could do.
But the thing is, Alyssa's already...
You know, this whole thing...
The thing she did with Helen this week
is really stupid. I mean, I understand
campaigning to stay, but they were
basically threatening people.
You can't do that when you're on the block.
I mean, that's just the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
You know? Well, sometimes you can.
I mean, because I understand what they were
thinking. They're like, this is a
household that's very fearful, and they're going to
respond to fear. But in this case,
it just didn't work. Well,
you also had Helen. Helen's
betrayal this week. Everyone's probably thinking, well,
Helen was just trying to save herself, and blah, blah, blah.
Well, yeah, she was, but she
also, you know, she heard it to the point
where she went up there and told everybody
what Alyssa was saying in private. You know,
like, a lot of stuff I bitched you out about in private,
if you brought it up here, I'd be mortified,
you know? Like, I want to be able to complain about
Matt behind his back without him coming out.
Just kidding, Matt. Just kidding.
Just saying if you're listening.
He is. He is. You know, when she goes up there and she tells everybody that Alyssa has basically said,
I'm leaving this game.
I'm not even going to go to the jury house if I don't win.
And she's stomping around whining and crying.
First of all, they probably already know that.
But for Helen to do that, like, she double screwed Alyssa over.
Because Alyssa's done enough on her own to piss people off,
but now she turned the tide to where everybody had full reign to talk about her
and talk crap about her and have it grow and grow and grow and grow,
and now they hate her even more.
So, like, Helen can pretend she's so nice and she's there for Alyssa and everything else,
but she fucked up her game even more than it already was fucked up.
Well, whatever.
It's over for Helen anyway.
So, I think
that, honestly,
what I'm surprised at,
this sort of gets back to Spencer, by the way.
We talked earlier in this show about
Spencer doing nothing. He's just sort of sitting around.
In his CBS bio, I seem to remember
him saying that he'll shake things up,
he'll lie if you have to, etc., etc.
And to get to your point about making Amanda feel like Aaron's gunning towards her,
that's the sort of strategizing that we have not seen,
and that could have helped Helen a lot more this week.
Helen did the, I can promise you this, and if you try to vote me out,
then you're going to have targets on your back.
That only gets you so far.
We've seen it on Survivor and all these reality shows.
I feel like the way that you really can get someone to do something for you
is if you create a sense of paranoia.
It's what Russell on Survivor would call the Russell seed.
You have to start a rumor in the house,
probably not even directly with the person, but someone else who then goes and tells the person
which somehow makes it more credible.
You start a rumor that, oh yeah, Aaron
said that she's going to put up
Amanda. Yes, you have to be sneakier
about it. Not even that. Aaron says that she
that Aaron's going after
McCray or Aaron thinks this about...
You have to start a full-on rumor.
It can even be a simple thing as like,
Amanda, are you and Aaron okay?
Why? Why are you saying that?
Because when you were
in the kitchen talking earlier, Aaron
looked like... I mean, she had the look of death.
She was going to fucking kill you.
And then when you were talking to McCray outside, she got up
and walked right inside. I mean, what the hell?
Because, you know,
when you're dealing with insecure people,
you just
do that to them
and just watch them unravel. Unfortunately,
in this season,
nobody has any allegiance to
anybody. So, they all
blab. So, there is no manipulating
because Amanda would be like,
oh, Aaron's being mean to me. Aaron, what the fuck is
your problem? I heard that you were giving me dirty looks.
She'd be like, oh no, he's lying. He's trying to play you.
But what you
do is, if it were me,
if I were Helen and Alyssa, I would
do a two-pronged lie
because if only Helen says it.
Let's say
we rewind one day.
I would start up some
rumor that I would say
Amanda told me
that as soon as she's in HOA
she's going to nominate Aaron. I would start that rumor
right away.
If I were Helen, I would tell that to
Gina Marie.
Then I would tell Alyssa
to say...
Your plan has already failed because Gina Marie
would have forgotten.
No, no, no. Gina Marie would say...
So then Alyssa
goes and should tell it to Spencer.
People who are on the side,
or to Andy even, even better to Andy,
and be like, yeah, it's crazy.
Like, you know, something like that.
And they're going to blab, because if only
Helen tells Gina Marie, they're like, well, Helen's a liar.
But for some reason, if it's coming from two different sources,
from two different people, people can't conceive the idea
that there's a joint lie going on,
much in the same way that Andy and McRae
were able to fool Helen into thinking that they were an alliance.
I think that's what you do,
and then it would get back to Aaron,
and she'd get into a fight with Amanda,
and you'd even build in things and say,
she said that she was going to put up Aaron,
and if she ever gets called out about it
she's going to say no no no and blame it on
Helen and then that's what Amanda would do
and it would just sort of verify the lie and then
then you'd be set
well unfortunately right now everybody's
just afraid of being yelled at so
no matter what plan you come in with they're basically
like well
it's either that or a suicide bomber named Amanda
is going to come in and explode herself all over me,
and I'm going to lose all my limbs and never be able to walk again.
It's a fear of terrorism, people.
It is what's ruling this country, and it's what's ruling the game.
The Big Brother game is only reflective of what's happening in real life.
You know that, right?
It's true.
I actually believe that.
All right.
Let's end this biatch.
We are at an hour now.
So, you guys, thank you so much for being
with us tonight. These are so much fun
doing these live and being able to chat with you guys
on Twitter and Facebook and all that good stuff.
You can follow, you can find
my website. We've got a bunch of really
good, talented comedy writers and we're
bringing on about a bunch
more. We've got a bunch more coming on this week.
So that's Trash Talk TV. You can find me on YouTube
at Trash Talk TV, but T-E-E-V-E-E.
You can find Ben at
Instagram, Twitter, Vine,
Facebook,
and his blog, B-Side Blog.
That's it.
Hey everybody, and we missed you, Matty.
We will see you next time. I am actually
out next week, so I won't see you all for two weeks.
Wait, I'm out next week also. I'm going to be traveling.
I think maybe Matt will have to figure something out.
Oh, my gosh.
Well, we're going to have a mystery podcast next week then,
but we'll be here.
Someone will be here.
Thank you guys so much for being with us.
Thanks, Joker's Updates,
for all you guys out there and everybody on Facebook
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Love you all.
I mean it.
Call us.
Bye.
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