Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Fishing For Compliments

Episode Date: March 6, 2018

Did you MEAN to serve trout tainted with ursine fecal matter? That is the pressing question plaguing the penultimate episode of TOP CHEF - at least, according to us. Join us as we unpack all that this show has to offer: fishing, grilling vegetables, cowboy hats. You know, the good stuff. Don't forget to subscribe, and please tell your friends too! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapence would like to think it's premium sponsors!

Just saying, okay! Can't have a burger without Megan Burg, Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low, and Kristi D'Aurry, the OG Prem Supreme! Plus our super premium sponsors, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master, and Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother fucker. I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one!

I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! I'm gonna smash one! So hi everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we

just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from BsideBlog.com and the pent up into podcast. And joining me on this Bravo-licious day is the one and only the very special man himself, Ronnie Caron from TrashTalkTV.com and the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, hello, Bane. How's it going? Are you ready to talk some top chef

on this fine, fine Monday? Hell, yes, I am. What an episode. What an episode. It's like, we're down to the final three and they got to battle it out for one last spot in the finals. It's all happening. It's all happening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was a pretty amazing episode. Gail is back.

For some reason, Gail and Padma decided to switch outfits today, which I found very amusing to the whole thing. Yeah. But before we get too far into it, just a reminder, we're going to be in Houston this week. Yeah. This Friday, it's this, this business week. And for more business days, we will be in Houston to talk Beverly Hills. Yes, the dinner party from hell from real housewives of Beverly Hills. We have a bunch of tour dates coming up. Just go to watch what crappens.com to get tickets and t-shirts and mugs and all that good stuff. Yeah, we're going to a lot of cities. Yeah, we're going to a lot of cities. We don't know when we'll be back to them. So be sure to get the view and while the view one's good of us. Yeah. So we open this top chef with the final three

celebrating right after the judgment, which I like that they're just keeping the cameras rolling now. That's like a new thing to season that I love. And they're all high-fiving each other. And Fat Joe's like, I feel like it just came back from the dead. And I'm like, you're my favorite kind of zombie. Why are there no big Fat Joe kind of zombies? Like I would totally still be watching Walking Dead if there were a few chunky zombies.

Yeah, chunky friendly zombie who can make a mean ZD. That's all I wanted in life sometimes. You know, I just want a zombie who can really understand his pasta sauces, okay? Exactly, and then there was a flashback of the judging from last week and Pam are going, I had the greatest food of the season this week. Too bad, my dear friend, Gail Simmons can enjoy it.

Bless her heart. I feel like somewhere somewhere Gail Simmons is burping anyway. So Cara, Luigi's like, whoa, I can't believe Carrie was kicked off. She was really the one to be. And then he gives us a smile. So Luigi keeps giving us these little shitty smile. Bull smiles. The entire material smack him. Yeah, he really is a little bitch. I want to realign his crystals behind his back.

See how he feels about that. Yeah, he's like toast and fat Joe's like literally, ha ha ha poor carry. You guys are jerks. Yeah. And also fat Joe would literally toast with toast. And and to that I say I'd love you fat Joe Be my best friend. I love a good toast. I have to say and all this toast snobbery. I'm not about it I just feel bad for charity because there was a challenge a few seasons ago where Padma was like chefs

For this quick fire we're going to take on a trend that is taken America by storm Toast and they all have to make toast. Do you remember that? Yes, and I always think about it over and over there Well, even I'm sure she was there like hiding under a table eating crumbs as they fall off like sesame seeds According to Padma at least We don't for Padma, but throughout her crust I'm of a table. That's a good if you heard Padma at least. Waiting for Padma that's where I heard crustm of the table. That's, if you heard Padma say it. Look, we're turning into Padma. Now we're actually calling Gail that person that we always are like, we don't actually believe it.

We just say that Padma believes it. And now we're, now I'm saying it as if I believe it. I know. Well, you see you get brainwashed with our own impersonations. Yes. That it will fall to fall to the floor. Did you mean to shame, Gale in the toast

challenge? Well, I knew that Gale was going to be back because they've passed a sign and it said elevation 1 1 1 2 1 2 1 1 1 1 and I just heard Gale behind the sign going, my god. My god. My god. My god. So if anybody doesn't believe that Luigi smells like feet, he's literally using his slippers as his headrest. Yeah.

So there you go. Case proven. Thank you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the gang, the final three, which is Joe Sasto, Joe Flam, and Adrian, Liberna Dan, people were like, why do you call her Liberna Dan? But they spalled it like, there were, it was one of those things where they didn't really know what we're talking about It's they didn't, they didn't parse out the word properly

So they spelled it like, like, Lever and Dan, like, why do you call her Lever Dan? And we're like, the reasons because in the beginning of the season you talked about Lever and Dan all the time Because we're both former TV recappers and one of the big things in TV recapping Beckton, which I've learned from Ben, was just calling people by stupid nicknames and once you've started the nickname, it just never goes away. I don't even know the girls' real name, LeBrona Dan. I want my brain to be in the room of LeBrona Dan because all I'm gonna ever call her is Bernie or LeBrona Dan.

That's it. It doesn't matter if it makes sense. So they are all headed to Asman for the Food and Wine Classic and they arrive at the Viceroy Hotel, they're like, oh, what a lovely, lovely hotel, guys. I just wrote it down in my journal that we're at this lovely hotel, which is amazing. Yeah, I was writing in my journal like, I'm enjoying staying at the Madeline, but I feel like we could do better and now we're here at the Viceroy and I feel like I'm finally staying at the hotels I want to stay at.

And this is why I miss Big Joe because this guy calls out every single thing. What is it with junky people that we always do that? It's like every little thing, you know, I guess it's from getting beat up in school. Although he's like a Mac truck who beat him up. But they call it every little thing there in this hotel room and he's in a, Luigi's like, oh, I like the view and he's like, oh yeah, I wonder which part of town we're staying in because they basically are in the basement.

Well, no, I think they were doing that because the shades were down, but there were like windows above the shades that you could see through and they were making front of Adrian for being short because he couldn't, you know, chairs through it. It was not their making fun of it. I thought they were making fun of the fact being short because she couldn't. Oh, I was not there making fun of it. I thought they were making fun of the fact

that they had basement windows. They had those really short windows that were at the top of the wall. It could have been. Honestly, the editors could have done a little bit of a better job, like landing the punch line for us because we saw Adrian, she got up on a chair

and then she's like, you guys are always being flim-flim-how short I am. Either way, I thought it was Joe Sasto, sorry to that joke. We saw Adrian she got up on a chair and then she's like, you guys are always meaningful to how short I am. Either way, I thought it was Joe Sasto started that joke and I thought it was kind of actually obnoxious because he was like, I wanna give Adrian Aspen View FOMO, you know. He's like, wanna stand on this toast. I'm still not tired of being addicted to care

even though she's gone. Yeah, I want Joe Sasto to go to. Here's looking at you in Los Angeles, it's in Criotown. It's probably my favorite restaurant in the city at the moment. They do a toast with a Stratquistia cheese. And that toast. I do say that you know that cheese is like

Stratquia tell or something? I do. No, I'm with you. But that toast is so, so amazing. It's like, if you have that toast toast then you realize why all of Joe sas does stupid dumplings Or like don't compare and all these quick fires. That's why carry a little ass hole with his toast comments anyway But the fact that he actually used toast today Well, we're gonna get to that. We're gonna get to that. It was I think it was perfect

So I think all of America gassed at the same time when we saw big Joe's wife because hotness yeah, yeah, Hillary Yeah, Hillary I'm with her and He And he's so into the conversation like he's like by click honey Like God at least finish saying by you have a hot wife making effort dude He's like, I'm in the top three, she's like, what, bye. He's like, got your email, she's like, damn it. Why do you keep bringing that up? And then he starts saying, you know,

because there's only three people left, we are getting a lot of clips of kind of empty, aspirational talk, like, you know what, this, I'm, she reminds me of the bigger picture. I'm like, really ready to like, cook own food. I just want to have my own shot I'm ready for my own shot. I'm not gonna give up my shot. I'm not giving my shot And so it's like rotating around in a circle Yeah, okay, Hamilton

It's like my name is Alex and I have no it's not sir you're on top chat So this really scared the shit out of me we get to this lake and I could have sworn it was podna standing in the lake fishing. And I was like, don't do this to yourself, you're better than this badmouth. Look at me, fly fishing. I'm just one of the crew here. R&I, normal celebrities, they're just like us. R&I, right? Just kidding.

I'm not. It was a look like, look at me standing here on the ground with the cowboy hat. Look now I'm over here. How did I get there so fast? I don't know. mouth with one go. Isn't it hilarious how he's so much bigger every time we see him? Chris, you crack me up. You can get out of that fat suit now. No. Chris, take off the gale suit and get over here. It's time for the quick fire. Chris, I'm afraid your fat suit isn't playing well with our finalists. I think we have to move on for me. Can you get out of it now, please? Thanks, Chris. No. Oh. Welcome to your very last quick fire, chefs. It's Chris. And Luigi's like, he went top chef masters. Test.

Look around you. Any guesses what your last quick fire will be? So like, no, like a fat person? Don't like, no, that's all we're standing. Is it like a cowboy hat challenge? Oh look, I'm wearing a cowboy hat. I'm just so rustic. Are you sure you need another hint where Gail lazy rants? Your next challenge is to recreate a pivotal scene from city slickers.

Go! Your next challenge is watching Gail catch a trout with her mouth. No just kidding. That was my morning. Anyways, your next chefs. In accordance with our city slickers promotional rule, your next challenge is to deliver a gale outside of from a cow. Your next challenge is to listen to Gale do her jack pounce impersonation. Good luck you're gonna need it. Jack pounce. Oh my god he's like when she's like one arm gale. Gale ups. arm gale, gale ups. Oh. Oh.

So basically they have to go catch a fish. Wait, I'm so sorry. I'm just going to drag out every, you know what this is because when Padma is not there, there's like nothing to talk about. So I have to drag out every single thing she says. Chefs, you have 45 minutes to cook a trout and the nature and goes, but there's a catch. You're right Adrian. You have to catch your trout. Get it Adrian. And Adrian did. She's like, oh,

no, we're done on my journal. It took us 15 minutes to explain to Gale. Bless her heart. She would have been here, but she just couldn't take it. If things go terribly wrong, we always have some canned trout for you to use. But we blurred that out, because it's a disgrace. Much like what Gale had for breakfast today. Hey guys, catch it. They're like, I'm not falling for that again, Papa. So she's like, and and guess what your second challenge is Movement no like oh no they have to run to the lake and

Watching them with the funniest thing watching Joe run across Watching Joe run with his fishing that it has to be my favorite clip of the whole show. Yeah, I didn't notice until you posted it. It was chefs, it looked like a far side cartoon, you know? Yeah, it's like, I love it. It's like those fishing nets. So they all start fishing because they have 40 minutes to catch a fish and cook it, which seems very scary to me. And they kept on

shading all the canned trout like oh don't want to use the canned trout. I'm gonna I'm going to defend canned fish for a second here. Like obviously there's a lot of canned fish that's terrible but like for instance you can do a lot of delicious things with canned tuna and and more specifically and more specific to this challenge. Um, smoked trout that comes in a tin, they sell it at Trader Joe's. So it's not like even some high fluted thing. You can get it Trader Joe's. You can make a delicious, delicious stuff with that.

So I, I'm like, put away your smoked trout. Can smoked trout snobbery shouts. And you're shaming you jerks. Yeah. Also, um, it wouldn't be covered in bear shit or whatever they got mad at later. And also, I made Clam Chowder last weekend. I'm about to make it again this weekend.

And guess what you use? Clam, Clams, Clams. Can't, Clams, because what are you gonna go by a ton of clams and like pick them? I would. I would understand. Not me, girl. Not me, even the recipes are like get a game

Hey, if it works it works. I like if it's it works, but I like there's a Believe it or not I actually have a cookbook that I got at TJ Maxx while I was waiting in line I there was like they're like here. Here's a $5 cookbook. We know you want it. I was like I'll get it It's called like the Irish pub cookbook, which is like three things that should not be put together. But I got it anyway. And there is a recipe in there for like smoked macarole pate. And I went to Trader Joe's and I just used the smoked trout and you mix it with like horse radish and some other things.

It is absolutely delicious. So, do that. And also Tuna fish. Also, by the way, welcome to America. It's absolutely delicious. So, and also, too, that's jerks. Yeah. Also, by the way, welcome to America. It's called tuna fish. Yeah, no kidding. Welcome to my lunch, like yesterday jerks. Yeah. So they all have to go catch their fish. Joe's like, Oh, God, this is, I only know about fishing from a river runs through it. Okay? Same abs, same abs.

And his dad used to shame him because one time they were fishing and the fish, he caught a fish, but then the line broke and he had to catch it with his net. And his dad said, that's not catching a fish. Oh, excuse you, sir. Yeah. Have you ever seen people get arrested with nets

by the police and dragged them to a truck? They saw have to go to jail. It's caught. It's called being caught. Joe's dad. If he pulled the fish out of the water, him to go to jail. It's caught. It's called being caught. Joe's rap. If he pulled the fish out of the water, then he's caught it. I'm sorry, he has caught it. If the fish nibbles and gets away, you haven't caught it.

But you caught the fish, and then there was like an incident that the fish got away, but he caught it. Yeah, I mean, even if you catch it with the net, you still catch it. Now I understand why Joe Fland moved in with his grandma. He's a asshole. And now I understand why Joe Flam moved in with his grandma. He's a castle man. And now I understand why he got a hot girlfriend because he's like, you will never believe

what I went through as a kid. And she's like, oh, come here. Oh, come here. She like throws fish to him just to like help him do it. There, you can't. Gail don't stop and catches it. He goes to like Pike Place Market in Seattle and has like traumatic memories

Like I'm as a throwing fish around from stall to stall. Oh daddy. She's gonna leave him at the red lobster So Joe Sasto, of course the asshole. I'm so mad at him today Joe Sasto he catches a fish first when I'm like There's no justice in this life. He caught a fish stupid trout and then actually I'm sorry Joe fl he catches a fish first. When I'm like, ah, there's no justice in this life. He caught a fish, stupid trout. And then, actually, I'm sorry, Joe flam caught a fish first. Then Joe Sasto, and then poor Adrian, she's like, oh, well, I guess I'll try again, because I hate canned fish so much.

I'll just try again, trout. He's a trout, he's a trout, he's a trout, trout, trout. Yeah, poor thing. No one's taught her how to fish. You don't talk. That's like rule number one in fishing. Do not talk to the fishies when you're fishing. Okay, when you're fishing. Do they? Is it the vibrations? Like, yeah, they they're not going to eat some vibrating worm. Okay. And especially when it's like trying

to write things down in her journal and saying things like, come here, fishy, fishy. I'm going to make my own kind of fish because I've been making other people's kind of fish for the like, oh shut up. I don't even want to go on the line. I finally figured out my own way to beat a fish. And I'm sick of doing it, Eric repairs way. I'm doing it my way. And that's the way it's going to be. Elevated fish bait. This fish is going to be broken down and repaired.

I mean, damn it. So with 20 minutes left, she finally gets her fish. And her plan is to do a barely cooked crispy skin trout. I feel like barely cooked is not a nice way of saying something. Yeah, I feel like they- She should just never say that. I feel like, you know, I feel like in the food world, they just have fancy words to make

things sound more appetizing, like Crudo instead, like say Crudo or Tartar or sashimi, don't say it's a barely cooked route. I know. Poor thing. Well, she had like two seconds to get everything together. Yeah. And then Chris, so the judging comes up and Chris comes over

with Fatma and he's like, did you want to cook this fish? I was like, excuse me, sir. Yeah. That's not your line. Well, yes, excuse me, sir. Yeah. That's not your line. Well, yes, please let, please let the master say it. Did you want to go this fish? Oh, girl, that feels so much better. Five-bow wasn't really saying much this episode though.

I blame her gale outfit and her gold eyelashes or her gold eyelids. She was like, ow, turns out this hurts my eyes. And I can't talk. I'm in a cowboy hat, I'm still wearing it, still wearing it, see if any save a penny on your eyes. And so Chris is like, well, you know, there's an old saying, do you shit where you eat? Well, guess what, bears do and it taints the water.

So you always have to cook your trout all the way through and pat him as like like ain't that the truth one time Gail tried Tatsashi and she hallucinated for days she had such a bad case of the Gail she thought she was lag-lagged performing at Carnegie Center. Lang Lang, poor thing. So, she gets in trouble for like trying to food poison everybody but bear poop or whatever and Luigi's like Smiling Luigi is not the villain bow bow, okay, Bowser. Well, maybe he's been Waluigi all this time That I think that's the key. I think that's the key. We've been calling him Luigi, but he's Waluigi

Yeah, son of a bitch. So patting. With this little steeped mustache. So now after Chris goes into you know, it's basically like, yeah, bear. Bear's shit in the water and it's in the trout and you have to cook it out. Pam is like, can I eat this? Let me just give it to Gail. I like when they went over to Luigi and she goes, so how was fishy? We just give it to Gal.

I like when they win over to Louie James she goes so how was fishing? Did you get the fly caught on your mustache? It looks ridiculous by the way. How did you grow more facial hair from the time you went to the lake till the time you came back here? Why does your neck smell like your feet? So, he made smoked trout with real red light, very glaze or something, something, or whatever. Oh yeah, this was the fritter, right? I don't know why this cracks me up, that Chris just like trumps down that whole fritter. Orbs that fat Joe. I don't know why this cracks me up that Chris just like dropped down that whole fritter or that fat Joe

I don't remember so many Joe's and Christopher's it was like being a mass on a Sunday So Joseph was like so then Joe flams served like a Pam Seared trout and How long did you smoke this fish for he's like I didn't smoke the fish oh I just must be still smelling that bear shit off of Adrian's fish did you mean to make me look stupid glad I understand why this is smoking your cowboy has on fire bad oh did you mean to break my mountain broke Joe? So Luigi's like, because now Padma didn't know whether it was to make tonight's so Luigi's like, oh my God, I so won.

He's got this like I won little girl face. I just want to smack him. Okay. And guess who wins? Pat Joe. Yeah. Padma goes, yeah. The winner or Chris, he said, the winner is someone who really embraced the fish.

He made it feel as special as it truly was. Joe Flam. And I'm just like imagine they just cut to Joe Flam, embracing a trout. Like, you're my special trout. No, you're a special trout. Don't die. Don't die. Get him to the water. The trout's marrying him. We're like, God damn, he's smooth. Um, I like when Chris goes, you know, even though Luigi did a fun play on frontier complete with this

Loon. He's like, you did a really fun, fun play on frontier cuisine. It's like okay. So, Loon. I'm sorry. I won't say yours tasted like shit, but we have to imagine it tasted like shit because you cook it in shit water Adrian. Chris is like even the girl who cooked in shit water had crispy skin fat Joe and he's like yeah she could definitely teach me a thing or two about fish skin and the burn the damn face just falls. She's like wait a minute. Are they dissing me? Like am I the new carry? What is happening there? I just want to listen you got to take risks on top chef So I want to cook all my trout and shit water from now on

Oh my god You're frying it in bare poop water Did you mean to take a commercial break right now? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownal are, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story

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music or Wondering app. Oh my gosh, so let chefs please follow me Tada! Tada! Did you mean to arm my Todd? Chefs, this is the only challenge that stands between you and the finale. Well, I mean, there's the other challenges. Getting around Gale Simmons after she's had a few too many ribs

But that's unofficial oh So it's called Rins Which is hilarious to me because she's like look They're big pot things in the middle of the wilderness anybody call for it's like yeah We call them cowboy cauldrons. We call them cereals for Gale. We call them the Gale Simmons Friday starter kit. So they have to make a vegetarian dish and they have to do it in this thing and they have to do it for the food and wine festival. And ask in Colorado where we are right now. So and she goes and she goes by the way, she does a full padma for us. I mean, padma

is really being padma. She goes, you'll be cooking for 200 guests at the ask and food and wine, blah, blah, blah. And also guest judge my dear friend Daniel Balluad I was like I can't believe she said my dear friend we've been saying my dear friend Then she gave everybody else secondary billing she's like my dear friend Daniel Balluadibu Plus others Other than stone such a good stone

good stone good is Jackson. I don't know who good is Jackson is Steve Harvey Pat St. Jack Mike Lee and lady oh so yeah good for a stone not get cut out of the

I mean I think that if anybody would have gotten caught up in this year that it'd been man's getting man's men getting caught Curtis stone would have been there. He just seems like a pig to me Well guess what the last it was not him. Hey, yes, what? Curtis stone is not a woman abuser so that's good So she's like shats one more thing for your challenge. You cannot use any, but there'd be no protein. It must be vegetarian on a cowboy cauldron. And they're all like, oh wow.

I think it's hilarious that they always get like throwing off by the idea of doing something vegetarian. It's actually a shame that Carrie didn't make it to this challenge because she would have just kicked ass. Oh, see what have killed this. It's so, I mean, maybe we're lucky because we live here in Los Angeles where there are some really phenomenal vegetarian offerings here. Restaurants are either vegetarian or vegan or just restaurants that have really delicious vegetable-throwed things. But these

guys were like, I guess I'll grill, I guess I'll grill a little gill zucchini whatever I just I'm surprised they're just so baffled by just having no I mean consistently every single time they're terrified like we're actually Bourdain on Anthony Bourdain hates anybody who's vegetarian He hates it with words he's like that sucks during idiot I hate vegetarians Wow okay wow but it's like you can still make a vegetable. He's like that sucks. You're an idiot. I hate vegetarians. Wow, okay Wow, but it's like you can still make a vegetable dish. That's like really awesome It's nothing to be like a scary thing, you know, yes like ice cream am I right chef? Yeah speaking of

They come out with Kerry because Kerry made that ice cream in a whole that time So they come out with like don't worry, you will have a set of extra hats. Not you, Gale, get off with me. Yeah, it's like coming up from behind the call, then. Yeah, that doesn't mean you get to have more ice cream sandwiches. So it's Bruce, Amish, Chris, and Carrie.

So Carrie's like, Oh, it's me, Carrie, guys, I like you. So excited to be back. Hi! Oh Bruce is like Bruce is doing his like video game walk, you know Because he if as much as we call Joe Sasto Luigi Bruce actually walks like Mario. He's like Yeah, he's just there for too long if you just leave him standing there for too long, he's like, Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was surprised I didn't hear music. Everyone, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

When he walked in, shake controller to move faster. Shake controller to move faster. So they come out. And since Big Joe was the winner, he gets to pick. And he picks Carrie. He's like, I'm local. I get it. Cauldron, I get it. We used to make ice cream in those. I get it.

Totally. Wait, what? I just make ice cream in those. Totally. The Cauldron. He puts Bruce with Adrian and he gives Amish to Sasto. Because he doesn't want Bruce. Since Bruce does Italian food, he doesn't want that with Sasto. Because he doesn't want Bruce, since Bruce does Italian food, he doesn't want that with Sasto,

it'll be just too powerful, too good. Which I thought was a strong move. I thought that was smart. Yes, and Kerry's like, what's the plan, Stan? Which makes me love Kerry so much more. I mean, I love her so much. Yeah, so then I'm just starting to figure out

what they're gonna do. And Jo Sasto is like, I want to do a play on a Caprese South. Like, I like the idea of eggplant, but I want to turn it into a fritter, you know, and I'm like, first of all, that doesn't sound anything like a Caprese. Second of all, is this what keeps him up at night?

Like, I like the idea of eggplant, but I want to turn it into a fritter. There he's like, that's what keeps me up at night. I dreamt of a tater tot, making love to an eggplant, and then giving birth to great jelly. So, explain that one. Josephus, like, what are made, but maybe with fennel, but we put in yellow beets, but also

yogurt sauce. And I'm like, okay, still not seeing comprise. He had no ideas. And didn't he tell us his girlfriend's a vegetarian? And he steals vegetables from the brain. Yeah, this is forage. Yeah, it's like whatever. So Bruce, of course, well, this is also the first time

we get the big Joe story of my dad used to grill zucchini little zucchini, and we'd eat him right off the grill. And he said that about 30,000 times. Does it count as a grill vegetable? If you pull it right off the grill instead of planting it, dad. Yeah, it's like you eat him right off the grill. It's like, how's that different? Is that mean that the dish is done dad? It's never played it. So was it ever done? Did you mean to skip the plate, Joe? So Bruce, of course, is Bruce and he's like, here's what I would do. And he just starts vomiting out words. Yeah. And LeBernard Dan is like, well, I don't want him to control every single thing in my dish.

And yet you ended up with a pasta looking thing made out of like a leaf of whatever. He does, he does actually, you know, he does suggest some sort of, she's going to do a corn pudding and he's like, well, do you want to wrap it in pasta? And it's like, uh, can you just like, you just like stop? Yeah. Even though like the, the, the person doing the score was like, hmm, I'm not gonna press play on the royalty-free music until we Take this in for a second. Oh, that's a full record record scratch

It's like the pasta record scratch and she's like, I'm gonna stay on top to him and then seeing everydice And I think they basically made what he wanted well This is when I started to get scared because this is when she started to really hammer home this idea of like, I don't want to play it safe anymore. I'm doing my food. I'm not going to play it safe. This is what I'm going to do. I'm not playing it safe.

That's not what I'm going to do. Playing it hard. I will do that, but not safe. I'm like, OK, you've said playing it safe. You don't want to play it safe too much. So much that I'm convinced you're going home. Yes, because this has been her journey and you pointed out every week. Like, I'm almost ready to I'm convinced you're going home. Yes, because this has been her journey and you pointed out every week.

Like I'm almost ready to do my own food. Almost, almost. And now she's like, I'm ready to do my own food and shops. Get out. So now they go shopping and Joe Sasto is like, I just don't have a clear vision. I think I just want to showcase one or two vegetables instead of a variety. So I'm going to do a beat yogurt with summer vegetable salad. I'm like a summer vegetable salad. That's a multiple vegetables. I know this guy really came off as himself today at

twat. Okay. He's like, oh yeah, you know, because before today, like I just knew how to do so many things, you know, so many tricks in my bag, if you will. I'm like, oh, here he fucking goes. Again, this guy. And he's like, but I didn't know when or why I was doing him. And now I just don't know what I'm gonna do. You see the difference? I'm like, no, I mean, carry goes.

Don't tease me, but my dad, my dad would build a cowboy cauldron. Just for the fun of it. And then I'd hop in and it goes slaying down the mountain My goodness so they go to check out at all foods in Luigi's like yes the price is right Like you were the only person he's ever said that at checking out at all Yeah, I've never heard that. Yeah, exactly. I hope he didn't buy one of the box of those soulless animal curious. That's cereal that's like not curious, but it's like there's like a monkey on it just

with empty eyes. Yes, yes, you really hate, you really hate like a random puff cereal. Give me a little bumblebee from Honey little the bum will be from honey not sure is What does that be? Yeah, does that be even have a name after all these years? I don't think he has a name does he? No, it's probably like no, it's probably very dignified Robert Robert Terrence Where I gotta look about I'm gonna like with the honey not sure yours be

Does he have a name? I'm sure he has a name. Yeah, it's probably like B, you know, aggressive. B, aggressive. B, where's the name? Is... I don't... Oh, the B did not have a name until 2000 when Christine Tongue, a fifth grade student from Coolidge, Texas, won a national contest named the B,bing him buzz B. B. U. Z. Z. Oh, my God. That is a little too on the nose. Excuse me. She want a contest.

Okay. Well, listen, I don't care. I like his name being either Terrence or Robert. Um, and Oh, no, Robert, Buzz. B now there's a fancy name. A five of a hood one. Wait a second. Is it, is this true wait a second my reading this honey not sure you know it's pulled its B mascot

because these are disappearing now that's just wait and make just one more B disappear you think you're helping anybody they made well they made the oh they didn't make him like they didn't take get rid of him they just made him like a white cut out and says help bring back the bees. Never mind. In our honey nut cheerios. Why you ask? Any who, um, so guess what? I guess he's not playing it safe. Adrian, I'm making a southern corn pudding, uh, it was coconut milk and some champagne. It's gonna be elevated and I'm realized this is my voice elevated southern cuisine and you know that chris is probably like and then Luigi's like, um, instead of beef, beef carpacio, I'm making beef carpacio.

I'm like, that's original. I haven't seen that before. Beef carpacio. And he's also bought sourdough bread to make used toast to this accent, which is just pathetic, because he's not even gonna make like a real toast. He's just making like a literal, a literal plain piece of toast. And then he goes, Hey, Carrie, I'm making beat toast.

And she's like, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm playing a disc, Carrie, you're such a jerk. I don't like him. Well, she was probably laughing because she was like, oh, you call that toast, ha, now you'll see how like, oh, you call that toast. Ha! Now you'll see how hard it is you little bitch

You wouldn't be able to be a local here sir Enjoy your toast your air quote toast in your air quote cowboy cauldron I say air quote because some of us are using a homemade one from dad So funny when people from the big city think that toast is just literally toast. And then we saw some elk. Yeah. And then. So, and that just like, you know, Luigi,

Elk and Deer are the same thing. It's just that over 5,000 feet elevation and Alc pre comes a deer some shit and they all started laughing and I was like, I think I'm too gay for this joke. Yeah, is that altitude sickness kicking in about L-cumor? So I'm like, and I'm like, I was like,

I want to look this up because I feel like it's so stupid. I feel like it's not true, but I can't, I just can't do this right now. So Adrian is, I'm just gonna swing for the fences, but I'm realizing I'm a little bit behind and just her luck in walks in. Uh, Tom, Tom and Yulum, what's up, Tom, the editor and chief of, for my magazine, yeah.

She's a rip off gal, I'm not behind me, Lue. Well don't worry, she's no longer with the magazine. Oh snap. By sorry, your audition failed. By me, Lou. Well, because food and wine moved down to Birmingham, Alabama from New York. And she was like, I'm not going there. So she quit. I was like, yes, Neil.

I'm sorry. I was it. Birmingham, Alabama. I've never been there. It's fine. It's fine. It's just not just any. Imagine me, Neil, there. She's a very proud because she's a very proud editor and she will walk up the little staircase onto her bed. Because me Lee's son you're Morgan's dead dog that she had remade it and then it blew in everybody's face when she threw it. Shats I'd like to introduce you to Nilu Matamid.

She's like Gail, but skinnier, and not always asking for an egg. Oh, that's how I felt. I felt very defensive. I was like, do not try and reseave Gail. Okay, I will not have it, people. No one can compete with our Gail. Gail's an original. So Bernadana is making, you know, whatever.

And Tom's like, so, why are you making this dish, this close to the end? And she's like, well, you gotta let your balls hang out at some point. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, look at that. Wow, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He looks at it and is like, oh, I guess you're right. My balls are actually hanging out in my pants right now. Sorry about that Let's get it off way. Let's hear me all the elk

He's I do you think he's trying to fuck with her? Why does he talk to her cell log? She can't get her work done because he's just standing there. He won't shut up They think he's trying to impress new gale This is I think so this is like the first time the editors have ever been shady to Tom Because he's just going on And I was like, well, you know, in a restaurant, there's a system. You know, the thing is with garlic bread And they just do one of those montages where they keep like crossed his all and to a different part of the conversation and I know Adrian's like, uh-huh I mean, he actually says at one point because you know, it's like when you're surfing It's like, wait against your surfboard and she's like, okay, I'm done. And he's like, here, there's no team. And she's like, finally, I just walked away. Let's do, let's

do Tom talking to Adrian. Well, it's like, I'll just talk and then you can just cross fade into your part of the conversation. Well, it's like when you're connecting internet, you know, internet, it goes into certain port, but it doesn't always work every time. You know, someone's gonna go, why are less? It's like if it was raining outside and there was just a one drop of rain and you're like, wait, where's all the rest of the rain? Why is it only one drop of rain? Am I right? And so I said, this is a Toyota Camry, I thought it was a Lexus for sure, but they really updated the model very well. You know, they call them building blocks, but are you building things with the blocks or are they building buildings or are they just blocks? And

early there's been a lot of controversy over whether bamboo is elk or deer Socks, Crocs, do they rhyme because they go together or they should they never be seen on the same foot? So after three months I finally got a letter back and turns out the reason why there's a crocodile in those polo shirts I have to go begin I can't even cross faith I wouldn't get fired from this show Files and everything like no Tom come in the rest No, but that's my Adrian goes alright. Well, I actually have to get back to my It's my My god you're gonna kill me so Tom goes up to Luigi and he's like, so, Nilo, you're a very proud gal. What do you think of this? She's like, whoa, so you're doing beat and lieu of meat.

I was like fire her, get rid of her, I want her out. Yeah, listen, I used to have a subscription to Food and Wine. I had to stop because they had that really annoying layout where you couldn't tell what was like a five page advertisement and what was an actual article. And just all some like, all the articles looked like ads and drove me nuts. And I was like, fuck this magazine. I see description. So Nilo, can you focus on fixing that? Please, thanks.

Yeah, you get to the end of a five-page recipe and it's like, and then add a box of Sarah Lee cake. It's like, wait a minute. All the profiles. Yeah, honestly, it was like the, I actually hated the magazine, but you know, it's really good. I was reading about dream homes on Pinterest. Not okay. And it took me to like little tiny homes, you know.

And it took me to like this tiny home page and it would show the tiny page and then like an ad for a house. And it was tricking me. I didn't know which one was with either. I can't even read the damn thing. Please tell me you don't wanna move into a tiny home. You know, I'm like morally opposed to tiny homes.

I just love the shit. I love little tiny homes. I love seeing the shows about them. It makes me anxiety. I feel like, why are you doing this to yourself? Hey, have you met me? I'm a big man who writes a tiny little bike. I used to write, I used to drive a fiat. Okay. I look like a fucking giant. Yeah, but then that car, no, but a tiny home is tiny.

It's really tiny. Like it's, like you have like a very, you know, like a, you have a small apartment, you know, and you, a tiny home is tiny. It's really tiny like it's like you have like a very You know like a you have a small apartment, you know, and you a tiny home is smaller than that I like feeling like Hagrid everywhere I go. I just like his Hagrid so warm to Harry Potter, you know Well, I just like you'll let the climb up a ladder to get to your bed every night. I love that I used to do that in Brooklyn when I look at you I thought you'd be like oh no,, I don't wanna go up a ladder. No, I mean, it was exercise, but when I got to the top, I'm like,

look everyone, I did it, and I carried my dog. You're like, congratulations. These don't get a tiny home, geez. I just threw up and I can't buy a home. Who are you talking to? A tiny home you could probably get. They cost what, $10? Do not tell me that.

Do not tell me that, because you know, I will save up. The key is probably where your home. where do you put the tiny home? San Bernardino Is he a blown over it's for four hours yesterday. I'm telling you Please don't like make this worse for yourself and have to be don't make if you get a tiny home Don't put it in San Bernardino. I want to be where the people are Somewhere that's weird.

Simbrino is not where you want to be. So it's very, very, I want to spend $20 on a home. That's all I have to make. I want $20. If you get a tiny home, like just plop it on someone's backyard. Here is. You live in a penthouse now. You have all that outdoor space.

I live in a Luan penthouse, wherein I get to say I'm in the penthouse, but I'm on the fourth floor. And there's like five other built. There's like a normal amount of apartments up here. I just happen to be on the top. My shipping crate will fit. Okay, I measured it last time. We're going to put you in the building courtyard.

The dog comes out. I'll be like, hi, dog. It's me, your neighbor, Ronnie, the tiny penthouse. Tiny pent house. Anywho. Um, so Joe Sas though is putting embers in Beetleywood and being does of that. I just, it's like, no, that is carcinogens, sir. He's literally putting carcinogens in their food. And then they're like, great, that was, that was delicious. They're like, it's

like, okay, so we avoided the, the shit water and I'm gonna give us carcinogen water And then with our sinogen water and meanwhile there's like six minutes before everything has to be ready and Adrian's like Oh my tempura batter isn't working like thanks Bruce and then she's like and my lime pearls aren't working and like thanks Bruce She's like my corn pudding suits up like thanks Bruce. What the fuck is Bruce like my corn pudding she's like my thanks Bruce what the fuck is Exactly because everything that was failing she's like well Bruce you need to put a little more flour maybe So she's gonna charge the chichita which I'm like Adrian I'm rooting for you at this point. I think I like Joe Flam also. I'm rooting for her I'm rooting for both. I love them

But I'm also like shouldn't you've been trying this Chichito all along? I mean, you have a whole cowboy cauldron back there. Yeah, but I'm just think Chichito's take that long. Yeah, I hate him a lot in Texas. My mom's friends make them, and they're amazing. Well, there are some delicious Chichito peppers adheres looking at you, which I mentioned earlier.

I just want everyone to go to Chichito's looking at you. I just love it. It's actually my friend's restaurant. So I want, well, It's actually my friend's restaurant. I love supporting my friend in this situation, but I also love it because it's an amazing restaurant. I'm not doing restaurant. Why am I, it is a little bit on the tiny side, but it's more than a tiny home. I'm sure we can find a small seat for you though. I'm in.

Okay, so next, everybody shows up shows that right because they've been cooking already. Yeah so the guests all start showing up and it's the Votage over on there's a bro and we've seen them already clear them get rid of them. Padma looks like she's doing a goth update of the famous Coca-Cola commercial. She's like, I like to buy Gail Simmons a coke and watch her guzzle it down. Gail's like, I will not be called to slav anymore by Padma. I'm wearing a Padma dress. It's like this leather boob dress that she can easily wipe off in case she drifts anything back. And it was weird. This is where I thought they've really changed outfits. Padma's dress kind of like a hippie. Yeah. And this girl's dress like

Pradma. And then they just kind of gave each other frozen eyes the whole time, which I loved. And Yulumatamad was just taking all their energy and just bringing it into her. She's like, I will become both of them. But not in Birmingham. This is where my power ends. So Luigi is the one he's tasted first and Brooke goes, whoa, that is super beady. Yeah, I like that. Brooke from last season. Literally one last season. Yeah.

Super beady. Super beady. Yeah. So they're tasting it because he made a beat carpaccio with beat yogurt and Gale's like hmm, it doesn't really it doesn't really eat cohesively. Yo, the panel is probably like Gail you must know something about that like that time you try to eat corn flakes with with Stop protecting on. Apple sauce. Stop projecting onto your food, Gail.

And then Gail does my favorite thing. She gets like totally furious. And she goes. And you know what? Look, I have a problem. If you're gonna give us toasted bread, butter it! Or oil it!

I'm like, whoa, Gallagher, where did you come from? I was like, with a giltern, and the Gilbert Gott freed over that yeah I love just like butter it oil it put something on it. You just imagine pounded be like okay, Gale calm down If you did it's not all the other it maybe they would have had some left Bless her heart she gets so far it up off of the stupidest things just toast Gale She gets so far and up off of the stupidest things Just toast gal

Let it go gal literally kale let my fork go gal kale This is my bike gal. Does anyone have any Russian dressing for gal? She needs to put slather something on this piece of bread I'm Brian Voltagio. He's like eating the toast somewhere else in this festival He was like hmm the bread is like an in-between toast. I was like, is that supposed to be a good thing? Yeah, who knows coming from a voltage? I don't know what they're talking about. It's a barely cooked toast. Chris Casagino is like, I'm sorry, you have to cook your toast all the way because

it was there. It was bears that shit in this area. I mean, I have to cook your toast all the way because there's bears that shit in this area. I'm going to have to cook that. And then Daniel Budelagi du Piedli-Lay. Daniel Budelay, yeah. The dude. The dude. See, I'm ignorant. He's like, the bread needed nourishment, eh? I'm like, okay.

Yes, butter. Yeah, anything, really. Anything. So now Adrian, they all try Adrian's charred corn pudding wrapped in Swiss charred. Oh, I get it I didn't get it until just now I literally did me there and I wrote charred down twice too See I thought I would we're gonna do we're gonna make it we're gonna char something But then we're gonna actually put it in it's gonna be charred, but then it's also gonna be in charred get it but then we're gonna actually put it in, it's gonna be charred, but then it's also gonna be in charred. Get it?

Um, also, Shashito, our new guest judge, he's trying to be like, Gail. My name is Nilo. Whatever. Does anyone have a big potato for Nilo? They're like, so before they serve it, Bruce tells Adrian, he's like, they're gonna love it. They're gonna love it. I was like, oh yeah, like Fatima's nachos, underminer. You little undermining little piece of shit, Bruce. We're watching you, okay. We see what you're doing with your, your light flower. So the Bernadana's next, yeah, like he said, sorry about that. And then Curtis Stone, who apparently hasn't abused anybody, I'm still shocked. He's like, you know, I'll really lot the coconut and cone. I'll walk my everybody else and go, because it's really delicate.

But then Gal goes, I feel like she missed an opportunity to go bolder with the char. And Pam is probably like, says the woman who still drives a 2000 Toyota Corolla. Am I right, everyone? Bless your heart. Hey, anybody want a roller blade with a girl? Anyone want to do embroidery with gal? She's so bold. Hey, everybody gal likes grunchies. Oh, bold. Hey everybody, gal likes grunchies. Ooh, foe.

Gal bold simons about to start a marathon of yes dear, who wants to join? Yes dear. So let me see. So that just come up to her table and there's Jonathan Waxman is there. He just comes off as the biggest prick. I love Jonathan Waxman. I love Jonathan Waxman is there. He just comes off as the biggest prick. I love Jonathan Waxman.

I love Jonathan Waxman. He's my favorite. He's like a very talented person, but he really comes off as a prick to me on this show. He does them to you. No, he probably is one, because I think in the past, he's always like,

well, he's always like, we've spent half the year in Paris. I mean, come back and check it on the restaurant, go back to Paris. I'm like, okay, you're probably is. But I just tell me about him, I really, really love. But anyway, yeah. Well, it's just, you know, I mean, I like him, it's just he comes off as a jerk, but I

think I'm also very defensive because at this point, of course, I've been rooting for Labyrinet Dan. Yeah. And it's kind of offensive because all the mail-juts just come up and start talking to Bruce. And they all know Bruce, which we've known this whole show that he knows everybody, but she's like, you know, I hate to say it, but when people see mail and female, of course they just go right up to the mail and just assume he's the chef, you know. And I was like, of course it's wax, man.

Of course. And you know what, I think that top chef, for its next season, I think it would be interesting if they actually address the meat you thing and it doesn't have to be on the nose, but really highlight female chefs because in the kitchen and restaurants is where meat to, it's really bad there. Like it's entertainment industry, it's there. Oh yeah.

But like, you know, you know, I'm in the industry. I do hope the show addresses it in some interesting way, you know. Well, this time they addressed it in a super interesting way by just cutting everybody out and recording voiceovers over. Yeah. But I found it sad that they did that on a year that's probably the lightest on female guest judges that they've had in a long time. Oh, I haven't even thought about that. Yeah. I mean, have there really been that many at all? I can't think of hardly any. I know. Where's Michelle Bernstein? She's, she usually shows up.

I was probably no one she wanted to bone with her eyes. I love when she shows up and she's like, oh, myself. Yeah. So anyway, people are trying, they're eating Adrian's food, but it seems like no one loves it. They seem to like it, but not love it, you know? So I'm getting concerned, getting very, very concerned. I'm concerned for Ludo. What happened to his agent?

One minute he's like the star of that food show that I loved on NBC, the Taste, the Gut Council. Oh God, that's true. He was on it with Anthony Burden and... Mm-hmm. God, what is her name? I have to have the guy from Top Chef. Oh yeah, Nigella and then

Nigella and then the guy Brian was named Malarkey. He was on it for a second. So yeah, but Ludo is an extra now on Top Chef. He doesn't even, he gets one line this whole time and he's like, oh, I love it. I love a despiser. It's like okay well thanks for coming. Yeah got

now. So Joe Flam now service up his grilled baby zucchini with charred mushroom vinaigrette and some hazelnuts and stuff like that and there's a lot of concern that maybe he went to rustic and so we don't know if this game was gonna play out, but it seems like it's going well because Pammat tries it because, wow, this is the first time I'm really getting smoke. Oh wait, it just gales dresses on fire. Just like my cowboy hat was before. Look how this happens over and over again.

Okay, I was like, I was really curious about the cheese because you just put so much on it But it really grounded the flavor. Yeah, it's grounded you to Gail So Danny Meyer is like normally I hate hazelnuts, but I love these so Danny Meyer is like normally I hate hazelnuts but I love these so Things seem to be going well though Tom's like oh, I don't know why you did a a babies zucchini We could have just done a big zucchini when seven babies zucchini because a big zucchini has more flavor I don't know That's such a baby. Yeah, I love one

I love when Tom gets hung up on something really random like that Like there was that one episode a few seasons ago When someone sort of Coco Van and they did not use an old hen, they just used like a normal chicken and he was like, if you're gonna do Cocoa Van, you gotta use an old hen. I don't know why you didn't use an old hen. This one, he really did have a thing against the tiny phallic object but it did look hilarious when they showed his dish and it's just this timey baby zucchini with stuff on top. Yeah. Yeah.

So then at the end of it, Patma excuses everyone, she's like, thank you for being here and you're just like, oh I'm so happy to be here in Patma. I was like, no I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Gail, bye Gail, thanks for being here, Bye. Hmm. So they get to the judges table and Gail has extra bitty face today. She's like, I have missed a few episodes in a row and someone is going to get it about that. Unbuttered. Un-oil toast. I'm just glad it wasn't served at 18,000 feet above sea level.

Oh my god. And Danielle is like, Vlava was great. This seasoning was on point because he can't say points. Is on point. He's so cute that guy. He is really super cute. He seems like one of the sweetest guys he's ever come on that. He's such a talented chef

He's so like he's like one of the top tops the top tops chips on the top top tops chips Like he feels for the bread. Yeah, but Tom was still a little bum. He's like, well, I mean I was good, but you know, I thought it was a little bum. He's like, well, I mean, it was good, but I thought it was a misalpour. And he went to the char. Like, there wasn't any char. Like, why didn't anyone make any, oh, char on the char with his char?

I seem like your dream was getting there, but didn't do it, no? And Kale's like, the burn it in, your dish was incredibly creative today. I was like, oh, no. Yeah, I agree. That's something you don't want to hear. Yeah, because Gail smiling, and I'm like, oh, no, this is not good that's that's something you don't want to hear. Yeah, cuz gale smiling and I'm like

Oh, no, this is not good when gale smiles at you like that because I just want to more smoky cold drink Gale just have another cup of noodles Bless her heart Bless her heart. Sometimes Gail just puts liquid smoke on her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So just disregard that comment from her. Gail, get the straw out of the liquid smoke. Gail, do you want us to make another liquid smoke milkshake with that, make you happier? We can do that

Bring my dad tries to stick up for herself. She's like well, you know like I did want to do rustic like you guys wanted But you know, um, it's food and wine. I don't want it to be too rustic and then Gal goes well, I still didn't get the char just put the work that you put into it. So it's like what do you age are now? that you put into it. So it's like, what do you age are now? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha If he goes home for bad toast, this will be the most divine Justice this show has been that son of a bitch not only does he do do to see does plain fucking toast That's for you and the vote you came in on Luigi, okay, yeah, and gale's like hey Luigi Your yoga was inspired and I love embers We know girl Embers what's that is that a new fast food chain gal Bless her heart

Is Embers the new word for everything Is that the slang is that Canadian slang for anything whether it's cooked or not And problems like well, you you know you had two things happening you had something over there and then a carpaccio over there and you know what you didn't do you didn't knit together well and you know what's really important in a kitchen is knitting okay. Okay knitting. Mernton it. I'm just like we're just going crazy at this point. He is nitpicking get it Look Bernadam's like

That was a good one. So Everyone really don't for lamb in the journal. I Want to start telling my own jokes though. So flam is he's they say that he really embraced the challenge And they really generally loved it, but then Tom's like, but the baby zucchini like why why baby, why? Why baby zucchini? Like, why you now have a baby zucchini? Like, why do you have adult zucchini, huh? Yeah. I mean, that story you told like 20 times about your dad eating straight off the grill. First of all, out my fingers.

Second of all, oh, why baby zucchini, huh? And for the record, you never did catch that fish. So anyway. So they are now like figuring it out out whatever. So now it's time for Judd like that they're debating and you see they're like in the stew room. Joseph asked so it goes this is the point where I wish it were cumulative. I was like, oh you're so cocky. So cocky. He's like, I just wish it was about the back of tricks. Oh, disgusting, disgusting boy. I don't like you.

Oh, it's so bad. So, Padma's, so talk about Joe Sastos thing. And she's like, I really like Joe Sastos, Yo, good sauce. And he was like, I really like the gooseberries, but I never, I never got the grilled charfee or the grill at all. You just imagine Paddy would be like,

well then why don't you just stick your mouth on the grill and lick it, Gale? I mean, again. That's a good one. How many times do we get a Gale? You didn't get the char, what do you want from us, Gale? And then bad ones like, I love the creativity of Adrian. And Tom, because, you know, I didn't get any real wood flavor.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Okay, you gave them a culture and not a pizza oven. Like what's... Woodfire pizza oven. What are you complaining about? And Gail's like, regarding flam, the babies, you can just... It felt so tight on that plate. Really Gail, you want me to go there?

You want to talk about tightness, Gail? Gail. Watch about the staff at TJ Maxx? How do they feel about your dress election scale? Zing! Glad I got that off my chest at last. Can I ask an honest question out of ignorance? Yeah, it's not about TJ Maxx, don't worry. I know everything there is to know about that. But the cauldrons aren't they fired from underneath? Why is everybody saying like you should have a smoked flavor? There are cowboy cauldrons, so I think they were essentially like rils. I think they had the, remember they were putting the cold, their coals inside.

It should be smoky, like for a, yeah. It wasn't like a cauldron, like a witch's cauldron. It was a cowboy cauldron. I know, suddenly I'm pict. Yeah. So let's see a lo and time blah blah blah. Okay. So Padma brings them all out and then Padma does that thing where she's like, I'm Padma who has

feelings today, chefs. They're like, oh, she's like, all of you have worked so hard this season. Especially you, Gale, still nibbling on that bone from episode three. No one has worked as hard as Gail. On that back tooth, she got some spinach cod in. Little does she realize that every afternoon when she takes that nap and her mouth is just

gaping open with saliva coming out, we put in a new piece of spinach. She's so confused confused bless her heart I had my word too she'd be like hold it up and Tom don't worry you won't wake her up she has three turkeys the girl is so gale that the turkeys get tired when she eats them. That's what I call a case of the gail. Gail's with the gail. Wait, hold on.

I don't want to have a lung collapse. Okay. I'll care about. I wasn't getting a char off that breath. So Tom's like, well, you know, I'd love to see all three in the finale, but you know how this game works. Okay, Tom, as if you don't change the rules any time you feel like it. Yeah. It's like, oh, well, chance gets in. Well, good another one. Oh, it turns out it's Steven from seven years ago. Steven. So Pradma does the fake out thing where she's like, fat Joe. What's love, am I right? You're moving on, you've won this challenge.

Lean back, fat Joe, get it. That's a hip-hop reference. I mean, Joe's like, whoa. I just look really almost have a hard attack, hold on. Yeah, he starts jumping around and Tom starts cracking up. I don't know if he knows Tom. He starts covering his mouth and his face because he's laughing so hard. Tom, sorry. Nothing. So now it's down to... Nothing. Nothing. So now it's down to... Nothing. Nothing then. Gail, speak up now or phone, never mind, don't speak Gail.

I'm just not on the mood to have crumb sprayed on my forearm. Forever hold your peas on my right, Gail. You know, if you tie Gail's hands behind her back she wouldn't be able to talk you know what I'm saying She uses her hands so much Oh my god, I have to add We love Gail. Okay, do the disclaimer. Oh my god Do we love Gail and she's so tiny and skinny and she's. And she's so intelligent and we'd love her. We just like to imagine this is what Padma says about Kale.

Oh my God. And by the way, I love Padma too. I love L-flams. But I also love Padma. Like I love Padma. So this is all like, we don't even really think Padma says. This is just like an ongoing joke we've created for the podcast, just for the sake of cracking each other up.

So this is hilarious. So this hilarious. So then she's like, Luigi, I'm not sacking you out. You're really gone. You piece of shit, toast maker. Get out of here. You're with Dodson, this piece of crap who steals vegetables from behind fences with your hippie girlfriend. Now, let's raise our glasses and give a toast to the finest.

Do you hear that, Joe Sasto? Do you hear that? A toast that's what you lost on toast Please pack your knives and get the toast out of here that made no sense But who cares? It's just honor you and honor the fallen local Thank you I'm just curious, like, oh, thank you. Thank you. Time is like, and now to help you go home, Joe. We've brought along some helpful hands.

It's like, okay, how many times do I bring out these people every episode? Here, Joe, your Uber driver is a helpful hand. You may recognize this, this, Joe. Oh my God. And that brings us to the end of, oh no. Actually, the last thing is when they get rid of Luigi Tom goes What just didn't come together?

There are no losers here, but there is a loser so bye loser My goodness, that was amazing. That was so fun. Oh, it was so fun. Oh my god. I need an app now That was so fun. Oh, it was so fun. Oh my god, I need to nap now. Whew, I know, I'm like, wow, wow, wow, that was fun. Wow, well, that's the end of that. So let's all have, will everyone be the Padmas to our Gales and come to the Houston show

that we are at a low ticket alert. Imagine the siren emoji because the show is on Friday and we're running out of tickets. So come get your ticket at Houston, our Houston show, watch our crapens.com as we can get that and take us to the two other shows because we're coming to like a bajillion cities and we're gonna hopefully you can come see us. So go do that. It means a lot to us. It means a lot when the more people are at our shows, the more fun they are. So you're really doing a solid for your fellow crap and fans too.

And for us, we're so excited to see Texas. We're so excited to see you guys. I've got like 15 family members coming. I've never been to Houston. I'm so excited to see Houston. And wait until you see the freeways. You are going to die. I'm just, I feel like I want to pick up the freeways

and just like just roll around. It was like just wrap them around me like a like a minstole and be like look at my freeway stole. I'm elegant now. It's a big, wide freeway. Kill me where that. Kill me where, yeah. So guys watchcraftfans.com is where you can do that. And away from that. Get away from it. Yeah.

So guys, watchcraftfans.com is where you can do that. And then we'll be back tomorrow to talk about random rules. Yes. Yes. Bye, everyone. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watchcraft and add free on Amazon Music.

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