Watch What Crappens - Top Chef: Float Like a Butterfly Sting Like a Padma
Episode Date: February 16, 2019Top Chef honors Muhammad Ali with some slimy chicken and cured salmon. Thankfully, Padma has enough stinky looks to save us all. To hear this week's bonus episode about the Grammys and our tr...ip to Dallas and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Dallas next week on Feb 8 and 9, then we're hitting up the Just For Laughs Comedy fest in Vancouver. Then Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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I'm Roni Karam.
I'm also on the Rose Pricks Bachelor wrist podcast.
And as usual, I'm with my cool just co-host who's also the creator of real
housewares of kitchen eyes land. Mr. Ben Mantelker, hello Ben. Hi how's it going? I'm so excited
to be here on Top Chef Day. I know I love Top Chef Day. We're going to open it. So fun by begging you,
come to Canada, come see us in Vancouver.
Suck us.
Get over there.
Yeah, we're actually begging right now.
We want you to come.
Because when we do these things like festivals, we're in front of like, there's like famous
people.
And we don't want to, we want to like impress everyone and be like, look, look at all
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So come to our show.
And we've also decided, we figured out what we're going to cover showed it for our show. So come to our show. And we've also decided we figured out what we're gonna cover
next Friday at the show.
Ronnie, do you wanna tell them?
We're gonna do the first episode ever
of Real Housewives of Vancouver.
Because we're gonna be in Vancouver
and I don't know that we ever, I can't remember which
Housewives was first over there.
Do you, was it Vancouver?
I don't know.
I think it was Vancouver, not Toronto.
Is there a Toronto?
No, I think so.
There's two Canada ones.
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
So this is going to be fun because it'll be like full on first impressions.
I imagine that maybe our Vancouver audience has seen it, but I think maybe some of our
friends coming up from the States or have not seen it. So I think it's just going to be really fun.
And we're going to do some really silly Canadian accents, which has really become one of our
four days recently. And I'm really excited. I don't even know where to watch it. I'm assuming it's
on YouTube somewhere. Or I have that whole season downloaded for a while because I watched that season.
I looked it up on the LL Internet.
I'm wondering if Toronto would be more fun.
Damn it.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Well, how about this?
Okay, here's what we're gonna say.
We're gonna do Vancouver with an asterisk.
Know that it may change a little bit over the next few days
because we also have to see how accessible it is for our audience to be able to find it.
If it's like easy to find on YouTube, they will just, we'll put a link up, we'll show everyone how to watch it to do their homework, etc.
And if it's too hard to find or if we decide the Toronto is funnier and happy to hear from you guys too, let us know.
But we just think it'll be really fun to do Vancouver in Vancouver.
Oh heck yeah.
And thank you to everybody who reserves
so many tickets for the South by Southwest thing.
That's coming up right after.
Well, it's not that they reserve tickets.
It's that they signed up for the info.
They signed up for information on how to get tickets.
Yeah.
And there was such an overwhelming response
that they actually shut down the list, that they
closed it.
They're like, okay, because way too many people express interest in coming, and the theater
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So that's going to be once they send out the information of when those passes become available,
like you have to hop on them because those will become.
Yeah. And then we're're gonna be in other places.
So go to watch itcrapins.com slash just watch itcrapins.com.
Scroll down, the calendar's all there.
We're doing a ton of shows this year.
Do you want to do an update in today?
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Oh, okay, I never have it in front of me either.
So I just changed it up.
We're going to Boston, Portland, Phoenix, Irvine,
Milwaukee, Minnesota, all the time. And there's another city I'm forgetting. I'm sorry to the city.
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Watch It Crappens or crap and smurch.com. Now today, now that
the chilling is all did and done to did, we have top chef and also
a listener mail bag, by the way, or crap and mail bag, I should
say, and the crap and smare and smell bag, I should say.
And the crap and smare bag at the end of the show. So we open up today's top chef, uh,
right after the Kentucky wild cats challenge. And there's only six people left. And Sarah
is still back there all pissed off. She's crying, but now she's like embarrassed that she's
crying. And so she's trying like, she's crying. And so she's trying, like,
she's crying because she's being petulant, but she's trying to also show that she's not being petulant.
So she's trying to, she's like attaching a sentimental story and she's like, it's just that my
grandpa used to take me to that arena as a kid and I don't know, no, no, no, no, no, it's like okay.
That's a really, that's a really touching story. I just got a call from your grandfather He's very disappointed in your box waffle mix, okay? Go cry some more
Yeah, did your grandpa also get you box waffle mix is that what you did to yeah?
Did your grandpa mean to pass before you could see you use box waffle mix?
That's really terrible. So sorry, but also I keep you know
I feel like I say this every week but man i really expect
serenity so much worse than she is
it's her i mean that she has
yet she flares up though she flared up in this episode a little bit
well you know a flare up is okay you know we all have to deal with flare up
she know at least it's not a constant hammer right she could be a constant
hammer right and she's not she's an occasional i ate too much popcorn at the
movies kind of hammer right or like she's an e-c an occasional I ate too much popcorn at the movies kind of hemorrhoid.
Or like she's an occasion or I haven't had enough popcorn
hemorrhoid. It goes both ways. Yeah, or maybe I ran, I ran,
God damn it, Ronnie, I wrote a bumpy train kind of a hemorrhoid. You know, it's like a flare
of hemorrhoid, which, you know, you can deal with that. Just a little cream and prayer.
Yeah, I think you're right. Like I would have thought she'd be just like a, just a monster bitch at this point in the season where every time she comes upon screen and I'm like,
I hate her, but generally I don't feel that way, but she definitely does things from like,
Sarah. Come on Sarah. But you know, I think she's probably had therapy or gotten fired from a
lot of restaurants. Yeah. For like being too much because you can really see that struggle inside
of her where she's trying not to kill somebody.
And look, I live that struggle every day of my life.
Like, I'll just go to the grocery store and want to kill people.
So, I feel you, girl, I feel you.
And I also have that Seryly, Snarly lip now for whatever reason.
Like, half of my face is paralyzed.
I don't know what happened, but only half my face smiles now.
I don't know what it is.
So, the point is, I'm with you, Sarah.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, Sarah, like, I get it because she's at once,
like, very cocky about like everything, like,
yeah, I can open a can better than anyone else.
Like, try to open a can, like, that's the night can.
And you can't do it.
I can open a can, you know, like, okay, great.
But then she, like, cries at a challenge,
which shows that really, she just has defeated
insecurities and covers them with both fullness
that will make her, she's hoping that she acts
both, both social feel as confident as she's talking.
Yeah. You know, school ground kind of stuff.
So she's like, Adrian, I'm sorry, jump to shit earlier, right?
That was inappropriate.
And Adrian just looks at her like, bitch, I walk around with like a
light pole going through my earlobe.
Okay. I have worse things to do with than you. And I'm not going to forgive you either. like, bitch, I walk around with like a light pole going through my earlobe, okay?
I have worse things to do with than you.
And I'm not going to forgive you either.
I'm just going to sit here and stare at you with my giant ear holes.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Kelsey's like, you know what, at this stage of the game, not getting eliminated is great.
That's what you got to tell yourself.
And I was like, okay, she's going home.
But I was surprised.
I was kind of hoping because I've been really waiting
for Kelsey to use her daughter card or her son card
because you know that that's coming, you know?
It's like the first thing we say whenever we see that
in the cast bios, when we're making fun of them.
And I was like, oh, I can't wait to see
when she's gonna choose to use that card.
Sarah used it over boxed waffles.
So her grandpa card is used.
Yeah, you know, Brandon or Brendan, I forgot his name, but he was eliminated a few episodes
ago. He was dumb because he never used his chocolate factory card. And that would have
been a great one to use. The phantasmagasmical chocolate factory that he was raised in.
Yeah, I think he was just so expecting to make it to the end
that he was just really ready to use that
for his pain story.
Like when we lost the fantastical phasmagoric, you know,
chocolate factory, like my parents took it so hard
and that's when I started doing drugs
and living in the gutter, what am I saying?
I've got perfect hair.
Yeah, never happened.
Never got there.
So, also, when do we get to use the pain of having to see Brian Malarkey every fucking
week on these commercials?
I can't.
When do I get to use that card?
Listen, I'm in a bad mood today.
I sat through another Brian Malarkey ad.
Okay.
What did we do to deserve this?
This late, like Brian Malarkey on slot.
Like he was lying dormant for many years.
He's like a cicada.
He was like lying dormant for like 19 seasons
and suddenly emerged from the dirt
to give us these terrible commercials
where he's like, hey, do you know what he used to tell him,
Pepper, turns out they're seasoning.
You put a little salt, a little pepper,
and presto.
I'm like shut up, Brian Malarkey.
I'm like, you're going to join Lawrence of Cooking.
Whoa.
Well, you'd think that would be easy, but then we
come to today's challenge.
And you're like, wow, you don't know what salt is, really?
You really?
Wow.
True.
True.
You're immediately eliminated.
So we get Eric.
I was thinking of you in this Eric scene
in the top chef garden, because you're like, oh,
this means he's gonna win
And they did give him kind of another winning
Opening it's like Sunrise sunrise in the garden with Eric and his prego wife on FaceTime
Yeah, I've started to realize that because they're so aware of like the phone call home of death
That now they just let they just are rotating that phone every episode like just everyone gets a phone call and so it doesn't it's like it
doesn't mean you're getting eliminated if you if you call home if anything it
means you'll probably win. Yeah they're trying to trick us and it's working like I
have no idea what's going on. Yeah I don't know so we we get to the quick
fire and Padmas there because there's one thing we really have to do in Kentucky, and that's
find a plastic poncho for Gail. She's feeling everywhere, it's disaster.
Eating with Gail and Kentucky is like waiting for the Orca to pass SeaWorld every single
time. Sometimes you even take that elevator thing to see the orca pond from above and you're like, oh look
I can see Shemu down there, but it's just deeply unsatisfying. That's what's like eating with gale
Now please welcome my dear friend
For the master fist
Best selling cookbook author
restaurant tour Extrem extremely gay person, generally annoying
person who was once proud about losing weight.
How that go dear friend.
A man who knows something about eating lots and lots of fried chicken, the very gay, my
dear friend and dear friend of Dorothy.
A man who had to block a L Simons on his film because she kept on calling asking for the very gay my dear friend and dear friend of Dorothy.
A man who had to block Elle Simmons on his film
because she kept on calling asking for a hummingbird cake.
Art Bell.
Art Smith.
Art Smith, Art Bell is a very different person,
but that would be hilarious to keep him on too.
He's like, now listen, there's a conspiracy with fried chicken
and we're gonna figure it out.
Did aliens ring us fried chicken?
Who, which game first?
The chicken, the egg or the alien egg?
Let's figure it out.
You should try to see the aliens try to beam up Gail.
It's hilarious.
It took three saucers.
Take care of that.
It was like having tea with the three little piglets because it took three saucers.
Gal arrived and said, we come in hunger.
We come in pretzels.
You should see them try to do an anal probe on gal. Wow. So many missed so many so many mess ups there.
Finally, they just put a probe in the pantry to keep her still for a while.
So just a weekly warning that no gals were harmed in the making of this.
Gale is thin and gorgeous, okay?
This is just all made up hate from badmout.
Okay, everybody call down over there.
We love gale.
We always do this because we like to pretend that Padma hates gale we'll go out of her way even when gale isn't there to
undermine her in any possible way and it really has been a nice way of keeping
gale in the season I was worried how they were gonna keep us happy without
gale here and I feel like with you know pad my constantly shading her and then
the addition of stupid gale like the multiplicity bad bad copy of gal knee-loo I like knee-loo
Listen, I'm happy with the fake gal like any any gal. I'm like a little kid who's parents get to force
You could bring home a saint and I'd be like fuck her
I'm gonna I'm gonna like I'm gonna cut holes in all her underwear, you know see I reserve that more for
Graham Elliot like I'm like, no, no.
Like but like fake, fake, fake, uh, fake gal I'm okay with.
I'm okay with fake gal, Nilo.
Uh, Nilo.
She's fine.
She's a fine dog.
Okay, so, um, yeah, Justin is like, uh, oh, Justin's like,
yeah, he could for Oprah and Obama's and the Obama's.
He's a fried chicken master.
And so art is like,
guess where my first job was from now's 15. That's right. The tracks stop glory hole. Okay.
The second job when I was 15 with for Kentucky fried chicken, the Colonel himself,
Colonel what's his face from Kentucky fried, Colonel Colonel.
Today, Kentucky fried chicken is one of the most recognizable brands in the world.
Just go to the unofficial Kentucky Fried Chicken Museum hosted at Galesimons of Dress.
If you want to see some Kentucky Fried Chicken that's been around way too long, check out Gales
calling.
The little known fact, the world's largest collection of Kentucky fried chicken containers,
existing Gales apartment.
In the spirit of Perunal Sanders, secret recipe, we need you to create your own blend of spices,
but first you have to identify them. Blindfolded. It's also how my first husband picked a wife. I win.
Immunity is off the table. Sort of like desserts when galley's around. So, art's like,
don't forget to salt! Salt is very, very important. Alright? I mean, what sort of video
couldn't taste what salty is, that my right? Am I right?
I'm not going to tell you how to do nothing,
but if you forget your salt, you're a real bump on the log.
Okay, I'll tell you that right now.
So Adrian is up first.
And so like again, just a, just a, yeah, I think you said it,
but like the chefs have to like taste all these,
all these herbs and spices and what's different ones? they taste are a lot to use in their chicken. So Adrian goes up first
And they're like all right Adrian. Here's something what what is this Adrian? She's hmm dry time
I'm just like no the next thing she's like hmm
Dry time and they just cut to Padmas face looking just like who is this monster?
Does she know even anything about spices
Padmas looks during this whole challenge were the best thing. I mean they were like listen
We're paying this bitch. I just want I don't even care what the challenge is just make it something so that we can annoy
Pad by every two seconds and get a shot of it
You know so agent for every single thing she's like ah dry time try time, dry time. And then they finally serve her time.
She goes, mmm, are you getting out?
Oh, God.
And the stuff they were giving her was pretty, I mean, pretty recognizable stuff.
It's like basil.
Okay, it went from basil.
Then it went to rosemary.
Okay.
Then it went to margarine, which I wouldn't recognize that either. Yeah, I have to say,
but the first two I would, and I'm me, like I barely can smell or taste anything. I'm a Jane
Smoker. It reminds me, there's like this classic blooper of family feud where it's like the
bonus round and it's like, it's like British family feud. And the first question is name something
you bring to the beach and I go, Turkey. And then they're like, name something you would give on your anniversary.
He goes, Turkey.
And then it goes,
name something you'd get as supermarket.
He goes, Turkey.
It's hilarious, but Asian-Basic did that with dry time.
Yeah, and then she never got it.
Plus her heart.
She's fun.
So then, Patrick goes,
thank you, dear.
What?
Talk to her like that.
Let's have people talk to my pop on the old folks. So thank you, dear.
Here, just have that way. If you go down half a mile, there's the tram that will take you to the chopped studios where you belong.
Good luck making something out of bread, time, and dog food.
Good luck making something out of bread, time, and dog food.
Tell Jeffrey Sikari and Hi for me, just kidding. I hate him.
Tell Ted Allen, sorry, he's not one of the fun gays.
Okay, so Sarah, Sarah's like, I don't want any challenges. And this is my time to win.
I've got a good sni-s.
All right, you can say a lot about me, but my sni
point
Yeah, and she's good. She gets in there. She's like, I like next one. Final. Alright. Yeah, I got that one. Yeah
Yeah, heaven. No, that was my wrist. I'm just getting another one. Ah shit. I know
So Sarah runs out of time she gets like a touch. She gets like 12 and she's like, oh my god,
this is fun. Can we keep going to see how many I get and how much it goes? No, but it's fun, isn't it?
So Eric gets fun. I mean, watching you being blindfolded, like an idiot on TV.
So Eric gets seven and Justin is next and he thinks salt is he thinks salt is garlic salt
Yeah, and Adma gives the biggest thing guy
Really
Really
Just like even gal we get that right. We know her pal. It's fucked
And he's like I literally can't taste anything anymore
Which is such an embarrassing thing
to have to say on camera on a chef show.
Yeah, that's true.
And then Eddie's doing it.
So they all the spices, they're in little containers and they all have little sticks that
you can stick in there and chase off the stick.
And Eddie's stick gets stuck in his blindfold, of course.
Yeah, Padma loves it.
It's the only time Padma's happy. She's like, Ha ha, any.
Look, for once this dick got stuck in a blindfold
instead of his quarantine.
Patma loves Eddie.
And it's hilarious.
He's always so nervous around her and fires away
to please her every single time.
She's like, Ha, ha, I can't wait till we do this
more challenge.
Maybe he'll start himself on fire.
She's like that senior in high school, like the popular girl who
like, like, becomes like not enamored, but like, um, uh, enjoys
some sort of like dorky freshman, you know, and so she's always
like, hi, Eddie, did you study for Earth's science today?
Good.
She's like, they become like her pet, you know,
but she doesn't actually treat them like a friend.
That's what he used to.
She just says something every day.
I'm like, Eddie, you have I-buggers again.
Have fun on your math day.
Eddie comes with me at lunch today.
I want everyone to meet you.
Guys, this is Eddie.
Look at his teeth.
I don't think hilarious.
This is Eddie. You can't tell when Aren't they hilarious? This is Eddie.
You can't tell when he's happy and when he's sad.
Isn't it funny?
This is Eddie.
He's the one who bought all the food
from the cafeteria line and we had nothing left
but biscuits.
This episode should be called Ben's Revenge.
Cause this episode is made for you.
So after the challenge.
It took him full circle, by the way.
Yeah, sure did.
So Kelsey ended up getting second place with 11
and Sarah wins and Padma's like,
have your palettes recovered?
I don't know why anything she says makes me crack up.
Everything makes me laugh.
Like, I was actually trying to exercise
restraint and not writing down every line and turning
it into some sort of like joke about Gail.
Because everything, I was like, have your pal, it's recovered.
Sort of like Gail's dishwasher because she makes so many dishes because she eats so much,
not my best work, not my best work.
No one works less than Gail's garbage disposal.
Am I right Gail?
So, any, the next challenge is to make guess what?
Fried chicken using the spices that you recognize.
Sorry lady with the tunnels in her ear holes.
Don't worry though, you'll have plenty of time to do something else get it
You all have time except for you because you were so dumb to not guess time on the one time it was time
So they get all this food together
Do you want to go through every dish or just go to judging? Yeah, we do have the judging
I mean the only drama is that like Kelsey's was under and Justin's was darker than it was planned
So then we just go to judging.
And so Eric is first and he serves up a fried chicken sandwich
with goju jang, which they seem, it was like fine.
There wasn't much of a reaction.
And then next is Justin who didn't have salt,
but he used soy sauce.
And he basically did like a Japanese fried chicken
because he's partially Japanese and
Pamela's a classic Pamela's because did you mean for it to be this dark?
And then he does a double breaded chicken thigh with rose, he does like a chili pepper sauce
and Pamela's like very flavorful.
And then Sarah did something she did chicken with corn and a blackberry salad
in art. You know what? This is like picnic in my mouth. I was like, uh, it's usually
where picnics go, but okay, art. Thanks for still saying it in a really gay tone so we
can all laugh. He always do. He drives me nuts. I don't know. This was actually one of his
most subdued performances,
which I enjoyed, but normally he is so extra
and so like, you know he's like a terror in the kitchen.
I guarantee that in all his kitchen he is yelling,
he's screaming, oh, I bet he's like awful,
but then he comes out,
he's like, I'm just crazy arched,
arched Smith, that's what I am.
That's what I am.
That's what I am.
That's what I am.
That's what I am.
That's what I am.
That's what I am.
Because he does that thing where he's like,
when he wants a laugh, he'll be like super gay to get it, you know? Yeah, which you know
I know people like that because I know myself
And if I self be true
Because I am like that sometimes, but I see that in him. I'll shut up a picnic in your mouth. That doesn't even make sense or
So then we go over to Adrian and Pam is like now you only had six
Spices on account of you not knowing what anything was, think everything was time.
Doesn't that make you feel silly, Adrian?
I would feel silly.
Wow, fried brain chicken sounds delicious.
Six spices, wow, that's five less than Colonel Sanders.
So she's like, well, I basically got stuff
to make something Moroccanish, or Moroccanish.
And art loved it.
He's like, oh chicken has strong flavor. I love the acid of the orange against the chicken.
Yeah. And then Kelsey, so her chicken wasn't cooked all the way through. So she had to serve this tiny
little nibble from the one part that was cooked. And it was so small. It was a little piece of
chicken skin. I thought even try a soft chicken. I just saw the skin. Yeah, I found it's like don't give me raw chicken
She's like no, I didn't have to just give you a little part and art like great flavor
So then they do the judges you are really stingy with the chicken you're lucky that gal wasn't here
Otherwise you would toss this table on its side and punch you in the face. It's less her heart. She gets hangry. So then art's like well Mr. B. It was great.
It's like what's your least favorite art. He's like hmm. Just in one of the challenges was the
temperature which is a running thing with Justin today. He has some temperature issues today.
running thing with Justin today. He has some temperature issues today. And basically, Kelsey, because she didn't have enough chicken and then Adam was like, and that brings us to the
good news. And Sarah, picnic in her mouth, et cetera. Eddie,
yeah.
Flavorful, beautiful sauce. And Adrian, you had the prettiest piece I have ever seen. She's
like, Adrian you had the prettiest piece I have ever seen she's like Dude and Sarah's just like giving this squint like if that bitch takes this from me
Yeah, take one more thing from me like she can't hide anything on her face. Yeah, but ultimately the winner of Sarah
Which is Sarah this is your first individual win congratulations on winning something in life. I know
Have my mix it sound so mean
Took you long enough. Yeah, congratulations tortoise
Here's appropriate you do look turtle like anyway next challenge by art
Muhammad Ali time okay progressive dinner each meal is gonna be a. Muhammad Ali time. Okay, progressive dinner.
Each meal is gonna be a famous Muhammad Ali fight.
First we have the fight at Freedom Hall.
That's when Gail tried to take the last garlic nod at a pizza rear.
Hahaha.
Too bad we don't have a peanut M&M challenge.
Am I right Gail?
Hahaha.
Then of course, it was the fight of the century,
which is when someone dared Gail to eat an umbrella. Then of course, there's the fight of the century, which is when someone dared galt eat an umbrella.
Brambla jungle, that's when galt ate a lot of gazelle.
Now, let's welcome my dear friend, cookbook author, fabulous gay, wonderful philanthropist,
Muhammad Ali.
He's passed away, Padma.
Oh, well, he was my dear friend, right?
Can we get some confirmation on that, please?
Oh, how sad.
I just told my dear friend, Lena Weith,
that we were gonna have dinner with my good friend, Muhammad Ali.
Hopefully, dear friend, art hasn't gotten on that greyhound yet.
Oh, that'd be terrible.
Someone tell my dear friend who's married to the kings of Leon guy, the art smith is
running away.
Tonight's challenge is based on the numbers of his fights.
Each fight has a unique story.
Just like, well, I'm supposed to say like each of you do,
but let's face it, half of you don't know what salt is,
and the other gave me a slit of raw chicken.
Just stick with Mohammed, shall we?
It's time for commercial.
It's time for a crap-ins commercial."
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Disantel.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. And one of you is just Adrian. Also, I like when Padma gave the
price to Sarah. I'm sorry to go back, but I just tried to do it because she says
it like it's such a big deal. She's like, congratulations. You won five thousand
dollars or as I like to call it, one eighth of the cost of a pair of my shoes.
It's like so sad this, though.
The money's so sad on it.
I know.
So now they're like diving up the dishes,
the courses and stuff.
So like, Eric is gonna do rumble and jungle
because he's from Africa.
And so he's gonna do something African.
And Adrian says she's familiar with Filipino food so she'll do the
thriller and Manila and you know everyone's taking things and ultimately Sarah
has left with like the first course which which was like the first fight
which happened in Kentucky and she's like now wait a minute wait a
gosh darn minute here okay just because I'm fam Kentucky doesn't mean I want to be stuck
with the Kentucky dish I'm like bitch all season long you'd be like no no no I know how
to do this I'm from Kentucky I think she's just she always wants to complain that she's
last to choose but she's always last to choose it's not like you pulled knives and you just
keep getting stuck you know you're she always has an choose. It's not like you pulled knives and you just keep getting stuck, you know?
You're always has an opinion about every single thing.
Oh, you're gonna make that GM recipe
because I have a GM recipe, that's amazing.
It's called Kentucky Jam recipe, okay?
And like, so yeah, Kelsey does it the smartest way.
She knows how to deal with Sarah.
So she's like, I got an idea.
Why don't we write numbers then?
And whoever has has never wins.
And so they pick numbers and Eddie's mad because you know, he doesn't want to have to pick
numbers just because Sarah's all upset. And it's only Eddie Justin and Sarah who are left
choosing. So they three pick numbers and of course she gets stuck with it. She's like,
you guys suck. So then they go to the Nicole foods and yeah, so but she's and the but now Sarah has a new attitude
She's like well, I was thinking about him Muhammad Ali has fasted lightning
So I thought he's gonna go lightning and thunder because that's in Kentucky when like there's gonna be a storm
We all grab stuff off the trees and it's called lightning and thunder. I was like, okay. I mean, I don't know
Yeah, you take off the things that are gonna die like it's made of the cucumbers and you give them a quick pickle
I was like, that's my that's my that's a lot of biography title quick pickle
Yeah, exactly so meanwhile Eddie is looking for duck because he has it in his mind is gonna do duck because
His fight takes place his course like the court the fight for his course took place in New York
So he's like well, you know, Hudson Valley duck whatever so There So there is no duck. It's all frozen. So he decides to go for chicken. And because he's
doing chicken, which is cheaper, he has extra money left over for, you know, from his budget. And so
he's gonna let he's like, oh, I've got extra money. You guys can use it. He goes, I'm kind of feeling
charitable today. I'm like, no, you do not get to say you feel charitable. This is this is the money that you owe your teammates because you hogged all the money
earlier in the season. It's not you being charitable. Okay.
Eddie good old Eddie money. I was like, that's a nice way to change that and they could name
around to like match match a nice part of your personality. Because you know, they've probably
been calling him Eddie money this whole time. Like fucker Eddie money what does it think he is Eddie money?
Yeah me well I'm so Sarah they're all do their shopping and so now they're now they're cooking
is there anything else you want to say about Whole Foods? No. Okay so now they're they're
maybe take a dollar off your salad bar at least but otherwise. Yes please yeah maybe have like
some not weird versions of like normal brands.
Okay.
So Sarah is now like working with a salmon and she's like,
yeah, so like Muhammad Ali, like during that fight,
he like beat this guy to a pulp that his eye like swole up and was like bloody
and he really thought of it sock and he couldn't see for the rest of his life.
And just like a big red patch for years and years like, oh, look at that big
bloody sore.
So I'm going to cure my salmon and beat you to remind people of that
That's what I want when I eat my food. Yeah, that's gross and this turned out pretty well But my first thought was really cured salmon. Just like come on guys
Again stop chef. Like can we make an effort?
So you're gonna pickle some vegetables and put some raw salmon on there great
So Kelsey like come on the season's making me crazy. So Kelsey's like I make bread pudding
Because Muhammad Ali uplifted children and so I'm trying to see him through a child's eyes
Which is why I'm making bread pudding okay, what I didn't understand that that makes no sense
Okay, hey, someday that story literally makes no sense. Okay. Sunday. That story literally makes zero sense.
And I'm sorry. Thank you.
But thank you. I'm not following this.
But thank you for bringing sick children into this,
like to get to make it taste better.
And also chopped at the speaking of chopped,
at the end of chopped, that's always the easiest
that they can make is bread pudding.
Yeah.
So another simple-ass thing that
somebody's making on this season. So I'm getting mad. Yeah, I just, yeah, exactly. And then,
and then she calls it unanimous bread pudding because he won unanimous, he says,
the unanimous bread pudding. I was like, what? That makes no sense. unanimous bread pudding.
Like, I don't get it. Yeah, I don't. I just put's a stretch. So then Tom and Mealu come in. He's like,
well, you know, so, you know, well, just just, you know, check it out to see how things are going with
with your Muhammad Ali dishes because, you know, when an inspiration, more like Mealu, huh?
And Nealu, Nealu is wearing an aggressive pattern in honor of Gail, which I really appreciate it.
Yes. Mealu really is just the multiplicity Gail.
She's just, she's like a, an odd little carbon copy with a crazier personality than regular
Gail.
So, Eric is, Eric is making something called Fufu, which is like an African dumpling from
what I could gather.
And he was like, oh my god, I love Fufu.
Yes, hi, five.
And you can see Tom's like, okay, come, cool your jets, okay.
Oh, you're not good.
She was the best.
No, it's just yet.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Sorry to interrupt you.
She's like, yeah, he was the best bunny in the forest.
Fufu.
And she's like, so that's a dumpling, Tom.
And he's like, oh, yeah, Eric's like, yeah, that's a dumpling Tom and he's like oh yeah
Erick's like yeah, that's a dumpling and Tom's like yeah, you know, so is it like a dumpling?
Mac Tom are you even here today?
Sarasal distracted because I've had to explain much dumber things to my son who decided to become a mixologist
I
Thought you were say dumbing and I thought whoa that's like the dumbing down in America,
which my son totally got almost drowned in that tide.
So thanks, Marika. Great.
It's funny, dumplings. My son was eating dumplings when he was,
when you're old, and I was like, wow, what an adventurous palette.
It's amazing. The soft spring. He's going to do such great things in the kitchen.
And now we are, he works at FGIS as a quote, quote,
exologist. I would have killed for even a little hobby, Bobby.
You know what I mean?
That's where I am with him right now.
So, we keep going.
Also, I was worried for Eric because dumpling, Neelu and her dumplings, you know.
Someone made a dumpling recently and she's like, that shit had been a pot sticker.
And that was like, that's right.
You know?
She has dumpling standards. Yeah, so you'd like really cares about potato product
So I was really really worried
So then they go over to Adrian and they're like so
You look bewildered what's going on with you? And she's like well, I'm doing it's you know thrill and manila
So I'm gonna do some Filipino food. So I got you know
I got some of the national flavors of Vietnam here and we're just going to mix them together
and it'll be great.
And like, yeah, it sort of sounds like you're making Vietnamese food, not the Filipino food
I've made Filipino food.
She's like, no.
No.
She's like, what part of I'm from a dairy farm?
Did you not understand?
What part of I'm from Maine?
Do you not understand?
Bless her little tart heart.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, you know, that food is more Spanish.
So you can have some trouble here.
I'll tell you that.
Huh, you know, like, like a, like a white girl from Maine saying that she's
cooking for the peanut food.
It's sort of like a mixologist saying that he's also a top chef.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
So she tells Adrian, she's like, oh my God, they told me that I'm exologist saying that he's also a top chef. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. So she tells Adrian, she's like, oh my God,
they told me that I'm doing the totally wrong thing.
And Sarah, like ever the helpful friend, is like,
then just fix it.
Jesus Christ.
Cuck.
Fix it.
We're gonna complain to a flat tire,
take it to a goddamn shop, and get a fix.
Jeez.
I got two words for you, Adrian.
Quick and pickle, okay?
Quick pickle.
The Ronald Caram biography, all right?
I'm busy over here.
I'm typing.
I'm on the bowling alley chapter.
I have a store on a bucket of KFC from the challenge.
I'm eating it right now.
So please do not disturb.
So back at home, they come home and there's like a big stack of books from Laila Lee.
It's called Food for Life, which is, you know, I guess that could be my follow up book.
Food for Life.
I like which trickle more.
Yeah.
Well, the second book can never be as good as the first one.
No, no, it's not.
I think it should be called, I think your second book should be called Quick Pickle at home. You know, that's because that's what I think it should be called I think your second book should be called quick pickle at home
You know that's because that's what I always is it's always like the first the first book is whatever and the second one is at home I like so where the fuck do you think I'm cooking this shit?
Quick pickle quick pickle on the road. I got so mad right there. I know I love it
Beating off your anger it made I parked up like I sat up straighter and moved up the mic
I'm beating off your anger. I parked up like I sat up straighter and moved up the mic
You're like okay, okay, yeah, I'm totally Brought to life. I had a quick pickle of emotions right there
Someone put some vinegar in me
So this is Eric's challenge to be emotional because he's making something from Africa and from a hamed Ali
So he's like I'm super moved by this because he's like sitting on this bed crying and then he's like
What is Sarah do?
No, man, it's just super moving super inspirational and he's like, yep, can't wait to make some gelatinous chicken
Yeah, I want to make some cafeteria food. So yeah, so er, and then he gets up I don't know if you noticed it, but Eric picks up all the tissues. He's been crying into it. It was like such a giant ball of tissues. It's like, damn, he was shedding
some tears. Yeah. Like, stuff's so extreme. You know, they're either yelling at you and
throwing pounds at your head or sobbing at the back alley, you know. So they go to the
Muhammad Ali Center. And they agree that they're all gonna help each other plate their dishes and I just I just wrote prep prep
Yeah, some of this and like why I think our stomp typing and I'm like Ronnie stop it
I'm like a bus past like no one cares. Okay
Yeah, so I mean I mean I did I just was like I just like watching them prep
But there was nothing in my mind. There's something really, I feel like I didn't see
anything funny.
Well, there's a couple little things, like Adrian's telling us
her story and she's like, oh yeah.
Well, my fight, Thrillin Manila, that, you know,
he fell on his face and passed out after he won it.
And then he said later, that's the closest
to a near death experience he'd ever had.
So I want to bring that experience to the people.
I'm gonna present something that's just barely cooked.
Maybe even a little raw and see who gets salmonella.
So you're gonna steal Kelsey's raw chicken idea.
I didn't even think about it, that is so funny.
It's like the bloody I think room before.
It's like, hmm, some of these inspirations
are maybe need a little fun, I'll say.
They're a little lacking.
So the judges, let's see, Padme Tells,
Padme Tells, Leyla, she's like,
thanks for being here.
She goes, one of my laughing so hard,
it's just her saying thanks for being here.
And I'm like, cracking.
Because it's just how she says everything is so dry, it's so funny. She's like, thanks for being here, Layla. It's very meaningful
Please, please excuse Nilo. She's very excited and does not reflect me. And Nilo is like, oh my god
Okay, out of all your dance principles, what's your guiding light?
Nah, I can't just always wanted to ask that.
Oh my god, am I making fool of myself? I am, I am, I know, I get it, oh my god, I totally galed it, I galed it!
No, only I can say that Nilo, stop!
Stop!
Oh, stop mentioning Gale's names, all the chickens are running.
You say Gale's name three times into a mirror, a cherry of higher ads in your sink.
So, so Laila's like, well, my dad's a core principle was compassionate understanding,
and then they just cut to Tom nodding like, yeah, compassionate understanding.
I tried that with my son, and now he's a mixologist so you know that was my that was how I looked at things until
I
Found up my son's choices and now I'm just going through the stages of grief
So if anyone asked you you know the answer
Like butterflies thing like a underperforming son
So Sarah has to come out first. Check. I got a microphone. I guess speaking to this. It's my worst fear microphone.
Cheese. All right, give me that thing.
Hello, my honor. Hello, my baby.
I'm like,
The guys from the back are like,
Waffle mix.
Play La Lee just like throws the play back at her. I heard you use waffle mix. Laila Ali just like throws the plate back at her.
I heard you use waffle mix.
By the way, Laila Ali looks like she wants to kill somebody this whole time.
She's like, what the fuck am I doing?
Is the air conditioner broken in there?
I mean, she does not look happy this late.
So yeah, Sarah, I'm actually not even convinced that there was supposed to be a microphone for this challenge
But before Sarah came out, you know Pam was like producer producer. Do we have a microphone?
I just want to see Sarah humiliate herself. Hey Sarah, I get on the mic. Oh, you're uncomfortable here
Just pretend we're all in our underwear. Oh, sorry. I look great in my underwear. Don't I?
I just said did a photo shoot put a photo shooting a bathtub with pizza slices, but I guess you know what that's like.
My right gal.
Gal.
Gal.
Gal.
So, um, yeah.
So, uh, so they eat Sarah's food and they all like the flavors and path, I'm in terms
of laylons like, Layla, was your father a good eater?
Was he sort of like a gale before gale's time?
If you know what I'm saying?
And of course, Pat, like what an odd question.
Of course he's a big eater.
He's a boxer and Layla's like, yeah, he likes pretty much anything you put in front of him.
Yams, tatas, green beans, mac and cheese, steak, bread pudding,
it's like ding, ding, ding, bread pudding.
Padma's face when Layla Lee was talking about the food. They just cut to Padma. She's like,
oh my god, he's a monster. That's my idea of hell. So Justin So Justin comes out and he makes like some saffron cream
and seafood soup with scallops and clams and mussels.
And he's like, well, I wanted to do seafood.
And Ali is like, it's creamy in my eye.
And he's like, well, the first picture my dad ever got me
was Ali and Malcolm X.
And he showed me the man I wanted to be.
And I'm like, you're wearing
gold shoes in hipster glasses. I think he mixed the mark. But this story made no sense. You know,
and Tom's like, wait a minute. So he said he's inspired by Maine, but, uh, you know, it's nowhere
near the ocean. So, uh, he's, he, he, Tom cracks himself up. He's like, I mean, you think many, he hears many,
you think, you think seafood, Lewis and Maine,
nowhere near the ocean.
It's like, it's like serving me chicken instead of an old,
an old hen, for Cocoa Van.
I mean, who does that?
All right, everyone, I'm all right, all right.
Yeah, it's like what, and I, and me,
and me, Lulu's just like shaking her head,
like someone just gave her a dumpling instead of a pot sticker.
Nilo is like barely able to carry herself. Like, oh, I'm on my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, Never would disagree with him. He's like, guys, guys, I just go fuck myself.
Guys, anyone Justin and Justin's like, listen up. I've got cold cheese on.
All right. Everybody get over here. Hands on deck. Let's do this.
And everybody listens to him. And I was like, poor Eddie.
I know. I know. I know. Poor, poor Eddie. What you gonna do? What you gonna do?
So Eddie is like, he serves up this like roasted chicken and he says it's like with
colored greens, but it looks like the colored greens have been like pureed into like a
little sauce.
So it's just like this very white chicken with two sauces next to it.
It was very demure food and basically they all think everything was perfectly cooked,
but it was like not exciting and
Neal is like there's like there's just like no sizzle and like I mean Leila your dad is all sizzle I
mean right am I right like we totally get each other right like that's hang out like we could do that
right like I don't know like I'm freed like tomorrow if you want I don't know around and Leila's like
who is this woman like she just gives us like to the camera like her the looks
He gives to the camera or like Padm was voice like
She's like has gale always been this hyperactive. That's not gale
When did gale get met face, you know, they're called that's me Lou
So
I'm just saying if she thought she was gale. She'd be like what happened to Gail's face?
Well, it's a morphing right in front of her. Oh, we can't hang up in the fanfiction
Sarah comes out of this show. I'm just like trying to get sued like yeah, she has a Beth problem. All right everybody good tell your friends
We've already we've already imagined Gail getting abducted by aliens.
Now she's on math.
Yeah.
She's really gone through the ringer.
Yeah.
Bring her today.
So Eric, he comes out and he's like, Fufu, Shaq, Bani, Fufu.
So this was basically, it wasn't a dumpling at all.
It looked like some kind of really thick mashed potato kind of thing.
Well, I
look like it was a canal, which is sort of like a dumpling, you know,
um,
you know, because dumplings don't have to have wrappers. It's an unwrapped dumpling.
So I don't believe in that. I know it's weird to me, but it apparently is true.
So like a mots of ball, I think it's actually considered a dumpling, I think. I could be wrong.
I'm going to look into it. So
Anyway, so he presents this he presents the foo foo. Sorry everyone's excited about the foo foo. We've been hearing a lot about the foo foo and Tom is like, you know, I I like that uh that Eric took something humble and said, you know
World may not be ready for this, but I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do it. It's sort of like, it's like your dad saying,
hey, don't conform to who you think you should be,
be who you know you can be,
and then you become a misalogist anyway.
I guess it doesn't always work out.
So you make the simplest food in Africa.
Okay, great, you know what, I love you,
but it's time for your simple food,
not time for my sons, simple ideas, okay?
It's simple brain.
I prefer your simple food to my son's simple brain.
So there we go, thanks.
And Alit, Leila didn't seem to like this.
She's like, thanks.
Really interesting texture.
And he's like, in Africa, it's the equivalent of rice, okay?
Blah blah.
So I mean, I'm not just counting what you said.
I'm not just counting. I think, I mean, like, you're allowed to not think it's a good texture.
I mean, that's what makes us all unique.
We all have different, you know, things that we like to say.
Like, that's maybe in some ways, that's why we would get along so well as friends,
because we have different opinions and we mesh well, right?
I mean, don't you think so?
Maybe?
And they just looked at her and then just kept quiet.
She's like, okay, what part of, I hate this.
Did you people might understand?
Like, thanks for having me on you dicks
She's like patma you promised me gal. Oh
Oh
Well, what if next time I bring my dear friend Lena ways no
Well next time I'll bring my dear friend Homer Simpson same difference
So um yeah, so next up is Adrienne and she's like really trying
to sell this. She's like, it's Brae short rib with the mango and herb salad and the
thing that really resonated with me was the heat that people experienced because God it
was hot back then. So I'm gonna bring the heat. That's a and there's and she speaks there's horror music playing in the background. That mean heat. So so they're eating it. Layla already had knew there's
gonna be a problem because Layla is like I love the salad on top. Like if you're starting
with a salad on top instead of the beef that's problem but she's like she's like yeah I
love the salad it just like really hit me in the face and they cut to Nyelus shaking your head like yes
Yes, me too me too
So then Ali yeah, Tom's like, uh, you know, I have a question because I know that she used some bottled hot sauce in here
And right now I'm against anything in a bottle
so
You know, I wish you would have not tried to use something already mixed,
and maybe try to do something yourself. Okay? What is she? All of just some kind?
You know, how to like that? So, I'm just saying it. You know, you know, what, you know,
who serves things in bottles? I'll give you one guess. Let me guess with...
Let me guess with...
You're sad, Tom. No one cares, Tom.
That's actually correct, Padma. That's correct.
No one cares. That's actually correct.
Padma that's correct.
So next is the Battle of New Orleans by Kelsey.
And Ali is looking at her like she really likes her.
Like she's smiling at her co-cadishly and pulling both sides of her hair.
You know like when real housewives get nervous and I was like what's going on with Leyla?
I'm not sure.
So yeah, so now like I mean here's the thing. We all enjoy bread pudding.
But as you said, it's sort of is like the catch-all when you just need to throw a bunch
of stuff together.
And I just feel like New Orleans is just the home of so many interesting, delicious desserts.
And of course, bread pudding is part of that.
But maybe, I don't know, go for something that's even more germane to New Orleans than a bread pudding, especially in that. But maybe I don't know, like go for something that's like even more germane to
New Orleans than a bread pudding, especially in the room in New Orleans. You better use
a mirror pot or a room. What do I gotta do this for you? Come on. Yeah. So bread pudding.
And so she goes into this whole story. She's like, well, I was really surprised to bet with your father was what he did
for children. And Padman's like, did you know that Brad pudding was a big
favorite of Muhammad Ali Kelsey? I did it! Thank you!
Is that what she said? I thought that Padman said, did you know that Brad
pudding was a very big favorite of mine, which, which is hilarious to me
that, that in my mind, that Padma made it all about her.
Padma, I can guarantee bread pudding is not Padma's favorite thing in the world.
So I can, did you know finger nails were one of my favorite dishes to eat when I'm not
at Top Chef?
No, I'll leave because Leila had mentioned that was one of his favorite foods before.
And so Kelsey's like, oh my god, I'm totally gonna win this.
I can use that baby card for next week.
Yeah.
And Tom's like, yeah, well, not really very sweet, you know?
And I'll leave it like, well, or Leila's like, the first bite to lime was a little sharp,
but I guess it needed that.
And he leaves like, um, candy, candy sharp, but I guess it needed that and Nelu is like um
Candy Candy corn. Okay, that was too hard and crunchy. It's candy pop corn is what she means, but she's like yeah
You know, it's like you're fighting with it. I was like that's kind of the challenge Nelu
Okay, I know it is a boxing match, okay? Yeah, so so mad at Nelu
So now we go over to now it's time for judging
so So mad at Neloo. So now we go over to now it's time for judging. So the line of the judges and
the two that did the best were Sarah and Eric. And so now they're like praising them and Pam is like,
Eric, I'm so glad you made this dish. I feel like a lot of Americans don't even know what Fufu is.
I mean, when I say Fufu, most people think that's just some sort of kibble that gale keeps
in her house for a slate night snack.
Wow.
Fufu.
And then, Eric's like, Laila, your father and his legacy have done so much.
It's like, don't start crying again, Eric.
We've had to bring a whole new role of paper towels to the guest house and we're on a budget. Did you notice this show is on such a budget. I love that everything
they get has to be for free when they were going to the main challenge because today at
the main challenge our tables and chairs were provided by tables and chairs or us or whatever
else. Really, you're giving a shout out to the table and chairs people now. Come on,
guys. I know.
So Sarah they're like Sarah, did you want to do this dish? Cause something your eyes look like a full of regret. She's like, well,
actually, you know, like I really tried to fight doing this course.
And then I realized, why am I doing this? This is the food I love. Oh,
don't act like you had the epiphany. Okay, you got the number drawn. Okay,
that's what happened. Yeah. okay? You got the number drawn, okay? That's what happened.
Yeah, and Tom's like the Quanticyccicumbers,
the slime of the salmon.
Whoa, I mean, you know, great, wow.
And you just never know what this show,
because I feel like on so many other episodes,
they would have been like, really?
You did salmon, cured salmon,
well, some vegetables, wow.
Was it hard to cook that vinegar?
I mean, come on, come on, Sarah.
Come on. And then, all these, like, well, you both delivered the knockout.
Get it guys, I'll be your own work.
But one chef stood out more representing the fight.
And that is Eric.
And I was like, wow, could they even let Laila choose?
Yeah.
No, she's like the thing I hated the texture of.
Eric, you win. So, yeah, so Tom's like, Eric, I know. She's like the thing I hated the texture of
So yes, it's like Eric you know you made some food that no a lot of people would have liked to turn their nose up at And you're like no, I'm gonna do it and just keep pounding away at it. Just keep pounding waste sort of what I did
That's how I got to where I am right now
Of course you could always just take some shortcuts and life and wind up at some exologist, but that's fine too
How do you feel Sarah now that you finally done something and Eric has three just kidding no one cares.
Just stand up there.
Now, I know you've heard me say this before, but I'll say it again.
Gail said done some butter.
Can two of you carry to your bedroom?
Yes, thank you.
Also, we have to nitpick you. So Justin's like, whoa, after everything I put in, it's pretty shitty to this me standing here and Kelsey's already crying. She's like,
damn it.
Baby car. Damn it, baby car. And I was gonna save you till the top three.
So, yeah, so Tom's like, you know, Adrian,
as the resident non-Filippino telling you about non-Filippino foods,
I just think that the bottled hot sauce has gotten the way of the slow finish of that food.
It would have been good without a bottled hot sauce.
You made it your own. I'm like, listen Tom, yeah, I love you,
but don't come for a surajas sauce. Okay.
Do not do that.
We are going to stand by the surajas sauce.
Yeah, you want someone to make their own surajas?
Come on.
Well, it's possible to make your own surajas, but I just think that regular
surajas is also just delicious.
And I don't think it gets in the way.
Yeah, it seems like an odd, but they did say they were going to nitpick,
but yeah, I thought the same to you.
I was like, this is not a frozen scallop.
Let's stop treating everything the same.
You know, it's okay to have this. It's okay to use surajas you. I was like, this is not a frozen scallop. Let's stop treating everything the same. Yeah, it's okay to have this.
It's okay to use the Rochester sauce.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, you just gave a win to cured salmon.
So come on, lighten up.
So Justin's like, I just wanted to do something fast
because mine was a really quick knockout.
So I wanted it to be quick and fast.
And Nile thinks it was delicate and beautiful,
but Oli thinks his seafood was undercooked.
And she's like, in the soup, it's lukeooked. And she's like in the soup with lukewarm.
And his face is like, don't, don't, don't.
Eddie, my little creme sickle of the boy.
Was it your look?
Was it just the location that made you want to use the duck?
Like what sort of crazy idea was that?
Eddie, is your duck the reason you're peeing on the floor right now.
I can't tell if he's laughing or sobbing anyone.
And Eddie's like, uh, Eddie doesn't have much to say.
He's like, God damn it.
He just curses or something.
Yeah.
And Tom's like, you know, Kelsey, you know what I like your story?
You know, sick kids, like who doesn't find that appetizing?
I mean, these, let's just, you know, but uh, I think your bread? You know, sick kids like who doesn't find that advertising. I mean, these let's just you know, yeah, but I
Think you're bread pudding. There's a little one note. So I'll say that and only here's the note it was
Go on she's about to cry
Everyone be quiet. She's about to cry. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was. Remember when I wore a bikini in a fair vest to a beat, those were the days.
Ah!
I just trademarked my one note.
So he's like, yeah, it was one note.
And Lava's like, yeah, my dad loved red pudding, but I've never had like fucking popcorn.
I mean, what the hell? You know, she's just like, you know, like really? And Kelsey's like, well,
that aspect of him teaching kids, that's what's stuck with me. And being a
important example to kids, kids, and bad ones like, okay, do you have a daughter like Muhammad Ali? And she's like, no, I'm a son.
She's like, doesn't count.
Okay, everyone, I've got this.
Kelsey, I'm sure when your son is older,
he'll be very proud of his mother,
but right now he just feels extreme loss and sadness.
Once he figures out who you are again on your return.
Does it bother you that he calls the nanny mommy now?
Does that bother you?
Do you want to channel that into a dish?
Is that bread pudding worthy?
So she pulls the kid card and then lay this like I get it
because we're a mom and we'll do anything for our kids.
But we're not going to ruin their dentistry with some shit fucking caramel corn and bread pudding, okay?
So yeah, so now it's like deliberations and basically
They just feel like Justin and Eddie were disconnected from the challenge Tom is is really, really hung up on the fact that Justin
made a seafood soup, even though the fight took place in land.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, it's still main. I don't know. I think it's reasonable to think of seafood with
main. I think it is. But it's also weird, by the way, that Adrienne didn't take that
course because she is from main.
Well, she had a different fight.
I know, but why didn't she take that fight? Why don't you take the main fight?
Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Oh, I think it's because Justin wanted to do the, oh, that's right.
Because he had said like, I'm making a lot of meat.
I want to do something that shows the latter side of Justin.
So okay. That's right.
So Tom's like, well, you know, Kelsey took bread pudding and she went even deeper with it.
Just, I love and Tom just has to make up things to say.
Like he has nothing to say.
He, she went deeper with bread pudding, Tom, really?
So Pat Malik, she poses the ultimate question.
What's more galaish, giving us seafood soup that isn't anchored to anything in this
fight or a poetry dish. That's just lacking.
What?
to anything in this fight or a poetry dish that's just lacking what well they said it was boring but I'm surprised that once again they didn't listen to Leila when she said she didn't
like how a seafood was cooked I mean that's a pretty big thing you know and she had lukewarm soup
so they seem to just kind of be ignoring her I'm like what's the point yeah they were all they were
all fairly unimpressed with Eddie's. It was like a little just.
Yeah, it's not the first time to Eddie
serve them something super boring, you know.
It looks like wedding food or banquet food or something, you know?
Yeah, that whole like, let's get sauces
and then make them circles.
Perfect artistic circles on a plate.
And then put some over-brand chicken on it, you know?
Because yeah, brunch, I mean, that's delicious
and it looked really smooth with the chicken.
But Eddie's kind of following into this
thing where he makes a lot of just like mushy food.
Yeah.
So it looked like kind of much.
Um, yeah.
So that was so Eddie got voted off or kicked off.
Um, and next week, by the way, Gale is back.
Did you see the Gale was in the previews for next week?
No, I didn't watch the previous because it was like last chance, whatever.
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, the Gale is back. At least I think so. Maybe I'm hallucinating, but I'm very excited. Our hero Gale is back. Yeah, I'm so excited to have a real Gale. So
all right. Let's move on to some crap and smell back. Okay.
All right, here's a wonderful question. It's from Dashcap who says, what do you guys think has been the biggest ball drop for Brava?
We're in, they either didn't tape or didn't air something significant like the original
Mariah Quadfai, the first night in Ireland on Orange County or the faith in Jack's tape.
And also, Ashkats says, thanks for being the best part of the concert round.
Well, thank you.
Those are pretty great examples, actually.
Those are some of the greatest examples.
One of them happened in New York.
There were a couple of things that happened in New York the past season, where they didn't
catch it, and they were fighting about it the next day.
And we heard from Old Queen in a bar that they had cut the budget of New York
because they're having to pay everybody so much because New York has really had
everybody there for so long most of them. Yeah. And so they have to pay them so much
that they cut the budget and so they were missing a lot of stuff. They didn't have a lot of cameras there
where they should have been. Yeah. I have three things that jump to mind.
I'm going to do them in order in reverse order of importance.
Okay.
Number three, the big brawl that happened in the Dominican Republic with the man's
so family and some people that were there.
They got like a lawsuit on that.
We never saw that.
Yeah, I think they actually caught that on camera,
but they couldn't hire it because they were getting sued.
Yeah.
There was also, by the way,
something that we just covered
within the past month and a half or two months,
there was something where they all had to talk
about what happened and I,
oh, you know what, Candice,
this one's not a major one,
but Todd Tucker's 40th birthday party,
the stuff with Portia would have like seen that.
Okay, so number two, I'm gonna say Leanne Locke and fighting with Marie and the season
one when she was like threatening to kill Marie.
Like that should be cameras for that.
Should have been for that.
And honestly, there should have been maybe cameras for the fight that she had with the
Andro about who's the Queen B, but I think the Marie fight, like we deserve to have cameras
for that.
Totally.
And number one, I think this is the most indisputable, indisputable winner in this category.
There should have been a camera for when Kyle Richards told Camille Grammar, why would
anyone care about you without phrasher around?
Yes, and you know what, we ended up getting an answer to that.
Do you remember?
No. They actually did have a camera and the city-est producers never released a footage until they did that season one unsensored thing where they had all the producers on. They interviewed
them about that first season of Beverly Hills. There actually was a camera in the bathroom with
Camille and Taylor Armstrong. And Taylor was saying, yeah, she was saying, like, why would anybody, you're so insecure,
like, why would anybody wanna hang,
you're so insecure that Frazier is not here
because everyone would just wanna hang out with him,
so you're insecure being on your own.
And so Taylor was the one who said that.
And so when Camille came at Kyle with that later,
she's Taylor's like, I didn't say anything.
I don't know what you're talking about.
And it became this huge thing.
And Kim Richards somehow got drug into it.
Because she heard what Kyle said.
And that was on camera when Kyle was like,
oh, I don't know if she's just insecure or whatever.
And then Taylor took it and made it a much bigger deal.
So they did show that, but they didn't show it
in the series.
And it was actually kind of a brilliant holdback
because that ended up causing the entire first season's fight.
Yeah, sometimes it's actually really good not to see these things because it's
what we imagine is always much more horrifying. So yeah, but I think that's one of like,
like, one of the most like critical unseen moments because it kicked off that series. I just feel like it's
set the tone for the entire Beverly Hills franchise. So I think that was like a
major major. And there are probably some other great ones, but I just can't
think of them. But those are the ones that jumped to my mind.
Yeah, those are good ones. What else is in there?
Christine Raycroft says, hey guys, I'm curious, um, when you meet new people who don't
watch Bravo or much TV for that matter, how do you describe what you do for living?
Also, do you have a recap you've done that was a favor to do?
Thanks for greatly improving my daily commute.
You're welcome.
Oh my gosh.
Well, I just say I do a podcast making fun of TV shows.
That's what I say.
Yeah.
But he's, uh, I usually say I have a podcast,
and I say it's about Bravo TV,
and depending who I'm talking to,
like if it's a straight guy,
I usually have to say something like,
you know, like, below deck,
band of pump rules.
Well, actually, I usually do,
you know, like, I say like all the real housewives,
band of pump rules, and they're like,
oh, and I'm like, and you know, below deck,
oh yeah, that's the yawning one, right?
Because they always act like they don't watch. They're like, yeah, yeah, the yawning one. Yeah, yeah, I watch that every now and then, and then almost on, they start'm like, and you know, you know, below deck. Oh, yeah, that's the yachting one, right? Because they always act like they don't watch it. Like, yeah, yeah, the auto went, yeah, yeah, I watch that every
No one then and then almost on they start to like cite very specific instances from like all the seasons
But yeah, I usually just say I have a proper recap and
That people's responses are the same no matter what I say. So I've just started to keep it like super short
So because no one cares, you know what I mean? Yeah, like when people what do you do? And then you tell them, like they don't really want to know,
it's just something to say while they're driving.
So I've learned that they don't give a shit anyway,
but everybody's response no matter how I say what we do
is the same.
They go, I don't watch reality TV shows.
Like if they're too smart to watch reality TV shows, you know?
So that's like mostly, I think everyone's basic answer.
It's like, I'm too smart for reality shows,
but my friends sometimes watch us to survive.
Yeah.
They're all out.
I also get like bullshit responses
where someone wants to act like they watch.
They're like, oh my God, like a real house is a Beverly Hills.
I don't watch a lot of them,
but I do watch like real house as a Beverly Hills.
Like, oh yeah, I love it.
Like, you know, like what do you think about the latest season? Well? Like, oh, yeah, I love it. Like, like, you know,
I'm like, what do you think about the last season? Well, honestly, I haven't watched since about
season two. Is it still on? I'm like, okay. Yeah, right. You don't watch. Yeah, you're not helping
the cause. Okay, you fake ally. Yeah. And then what's your favorite to recap? Well, or recap that
we've done, you know what, we always have recaps that I'm always like,
oh my God, this is one of our best ones.
We gotta lock this one in.
It's like, we gotta like write this one down
and it's like one of the all time favorites
and then I never write it down.
I think like our below deck musicals, one and two,
were two of my favorites because they were so crazy.
It all blurs together.
We do so many.
It's hard for me to remember.
I like when
I like when the listeners tell us which ones are their favorites. There were some, I
think they were some from New York last season that were epic. And honestly, I loved when
we did Real Housewives of New York in Philadelphia. I just remember really, really enjoying that.
But there's a lot of us of New York is always a special
go to you and Beverly Hills too. I love doing Beverly Hills. Yeah, even when it's just at its
shittiest because they're so silly, like even their stupid like this fight over the glass,
the glass where it was one of the dumbest things I think I've ever sat through on TV, but it was so
much fun to talk about. Yeah. Over and over every day, fronting about the glasses,
and then we get into arguments about it,
and then we start,
because you have to talk about the same thing every week
if that's what they're talking about.
And at one point,
I just remember being like,
dude, we're having a fight.
Well, like you and I are having a fight about glassware.
Like, this is really like,
like, we need to get a hold of ourselves. Okay, but we're ridiculous right now
Well, you know that shit is real. That's why it's so good
Yeah, I wish I need to be better about like marking down like that sometimes we finish an episode and we're like damn
That was so fun, you know
Like but it's just I never do and then it's just you know
We're almost at 900 episodes and so it's just, it's hard to remember.
Like, like, one comes in, it's like,
a lot of times once we're done with an episode,
like, it is out of my brain and people be like,
when you said that thing, I'm like, I said that, you know,
like, it's like, it's like, we're in a fugue state
when we do these sometimes.
Yeah.
Is there anything else there?
Do you want to cut off for the day?
There's tons, but we're going to wrap it up for this week.
All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here. We will be back next week. We've got an extra show coming up next week. We're going to have to figure out what to do with that.
But I'm sure we're both going to be watching Mexican dynasties. Oh, that doesn't start till the 26th actually. So
it's not a sweet work. No, what is today? Oh, today's the 15th.
15th. Well, look at it. We've got a couple weeks. Never mind. I was already stressing out. I'm like,
what are we going to do? I know me too. I had that moment also like about an hour ago. So you're not alone.
What we do do next week, we do do next week. We're gonna do do guys. We are gonna go to vancouver
Get your tickets come see us in vancouver. That's gonna be such a fun show
We'll put something on social for you guys to vote for those of you who have watched the housewives in Canada
To tell us if Toronto or vancouver had the best first
Episodes ever and we'll do that
And then you know look out for your emails for those of you who signed up
for notifications for the South by Southwest. Yeah, and we'll be there. And for all of our other
ticket links and for T-shirts and all that good stuff, go over to watch whatcraftens.com.
Yeah, have a great time. Have a great weekend. Have a wonderful weekend.
Love you all. Bye girl! Goodbye, girl! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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