Watch What Crappens - TopChef: Elevated Cuisine
Episode Date: February 17, 2018"Top Chef" heads to the mountains where high elevations mean screwy cooking times and a nasty case of the GAILS. Pack your dramamine and come listen to our recap! See acast.com/privacy for pr...ivacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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And joining me as usual on this fine, fine day is the wonderful and simply lovely Ronnie Carrom from TrashTalkTV.com and the Rose Prick Special Podcast. What's up?
Well, hello. Hello. How are you?
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
I can't believe it. This is our last episode before we head off to New York City for our big New York week, huh?
Hell yeah, New York City.
You know, it's gonna be so exciting, so fun.
I can't wait for our big Barry Ballroom show.
It's just gonna be great.
I mean, this is something that's been in the works
since like August, or I think it's like August or September
when this started to be an option for us.
So I'm like very, very excited. And I just, I'm really excited
to put on a good show and people keep asking what we're going to be covering on the show
is Vanderpump Rules. It's a great reminder to follow us on social media and to follow our
watch or crap and live in love in a group. So that way you'll get the answers to your questions. So because we post all that stuff or we make it known.
But in case you didn't hear, we're going to be talking fan-apart rules on Tuesday's live
show.
It's the best day of your lives, guys. Yeah. By far far by far the best day of your lives, but today we're gonna be talking a little top shift
Yeah talking some top chef. I'm excited to talk some top chef. Are you excited to talk some top chef?
Yes, it's my favorite. It's my favorite dish. Okay, you're out. Yeah
I finally become everything I always believed I could be please leave
Good now you can go and share that with someone else I finally become everything I always believed I could be. Please leave. Good.
Now you can go and share that with someone else.
I'm glad your dream came to life before you packed your knives and left.
Yeah.
So this week's episode, we are now in the finals of Top Chef.
We are down to a final four ish because there's going to be a last chance kitchen retourney
But it's the final four and we were seeing the whole gang after the last shocking elimination of Bruce and
They're all just sitting in this do room and Adrian's like to help we ride. I'm like
Calm down
Calm down over there and
Amos Chris has decided to be like more exciting today, which is nothing
like you can't really even tell. He goes, being on the bottom was rough. I made a dish
out of my comfort zone. I applied five times for this. And now I'm so close. I'm giving
it my all. Just stay tuned. I was like, oh,'re never gonna be a TV show the host. That's for sure. I was like I'm tired already, okay?
It's snowing outside and I just want to go to bed. Yeah, I you know
Chris sealed his fate because the moment anyone says I can see the finish line
I feel like I've come so far. I can see the finish line. It's like okay. You're going home
Yes, I guess he loves to kill dreams. Okay. Have you not seen Vanderpromp rules? Yeah, exactly. That's what I wrote
My very first note was Chris can see the finish line parentheses, which means he's going home
And then Luigi is like oh
It's so sad because Bruce always believed in me
And hearing Thomas mad at all of our dishes hurt, but you know what hearing about my bag of tricks from that other guest judge
Okay, shut up over there Luigi
Bag of tricks crystal formations and foraging no no handle bar mustache we reject the
And carries like I can't wait to show you guys tell your ride
It's like yeah carries version of tell you right. She's like look
There's a telephone pole one time I leaned up against when I was waiting for the rodeo go to pass me so I could get
a rope around him, guys.
Yeah, I feel like Carrie, you know, I mean, Ronnie and I have been playing a lot of Super Mario
Odyssey.
And in that game, Mario throws like a cap at something and then inhibits its body.
I feel like Carrie is like the gondola like Carrie
Inhabits the gondola. There's something about this like I could just measure it
Come on. Come on board guys. Take you up to top of the mountain. Welcome to tell you ride. I'm Carrie
It's like oh shit. We put our hat on Carrie
God, what's my special power? All I do is move. I don't even get like a special attack. I'm smiling so hard at her. Help me. Get this hat off of me.
Um, so Carrie, she loves Telly Ride and she tells us that she moved to Colorado when she was younger
because she was a good skier and thought that she could, she could like do something with that in Colorado.
I guess go on a professional track or something,
but that the girls in skiing were like much bigger than her.
And so she wound up going into cooking and she's like,
and that's kind of funny because I'm surrounded by
like so many bigger guys, I quote unquote.
I'm like, no, you don't have to do the air quotes.
We've had a lot of bear done experience on this show this season.
You can just do big without the air quotes.
Yeah, she's like, just because I don't think I'm a surrup doesn't mean I don't
measure up on me and I couldn't measure up. Oh, I like her story because Carrie's just
such a sweet girl. And most of the chefs are like, well, I first snowed the slopes of
heroin when I was 19 and then realized maybe I could cook and carry it's like oh I just
wasn't taking the skiing. I know that's like she is a total outlier on this show right because
everyone's like yeah I was living in a gutter singing in a punk band. I cut off one of my toes
one time to buy to buy eight ball. I called G. I once went to give myself a tattoo of a taco
and turns out there was heroin in the needle.
I took the heroin instead and I was unharrowing,
but then food seized me man.
And she's like, oh, I just, I like onions.
So I thought, why not cook a little bit?
And I like it.
We put it like, I almost OD'd on heroin and fell asleep
against a radiator.
It's the first time I smelled fat rendering and thought,
hey, I could do that.
And Gary's like, oh, one time I let an egg cook on the street
in the summer.
God, I love cooking.
She was like, I was just reading an article in New York Times
about cooking and best to play.
I thought that's fun.
And I didn't, I was like, I like this.
So I started to class.
And I like that too.
And I'm working at a restaurant to like, I like this. So I started to class and I like that too. And I worked in a restaurant to like,
where's your heroin story?
Oh, my likes you, per woman.
I got heroin tattooed on my back.
It literally says heroin.
They're like, that's like the Wonder Woman kind of heroin.
Okay.
Gary.
Yeah.
Wonder Woman likes to round up goats.
Like, okay, Gary, be quiet.
So over at the hotel, the chefs are staying in a place called the Madeline,
which I loved just because we were just like two days ago, making Madeline's
so references, and I love that there's an entire hotel called The Madeline.
It's like kind of cross-eyed.
You see everything double.
All the receptionists, when you walk up to check in, the receptionist just looks
and goes, oh, hello. It's not too much Botox. Surely you end up with a little stiff. Oh,
sorry, we just got those all Botox. Surely you've met Daniel, he's my son, and also the
concierge. This is Emily, so she says, I'm gonna prove
a wrong by the time you check out.
Like, Tick-to-toe!
It's like, hi, is this the front desk?
I was wondering, could I get like another towel?
You would want that, wouldn't you?
Oh, sorry.
You get up to the TV room and you turn it on.
It's like, hello, welcome to Madeline.
Infinity is a lie
Yeah, you turn on the TV and like the in hotel channel is like I
Want you to know I've always loved you and then just go away
Some swim in our pool and drown
Here's the room where we keep amnesiacs
It's a gamble amber a lot of rolls in on a wheelchair
The only hotel in the neighborhood to give Allie sheety another roll Allie
Was allie city was it allie sheety or no other it was the other girl it was
It was what's her face away?
No, no, no, it wasn't it wasn't Maryl
Having it was a girl from not breakfast class. No, it was Jennifer. They're not liar
Oh, it was Jennifer Jason Lee. She played Emily's mom, I think oh lord. Yeah, everyone's like who is that
We can actually slept on the boat talks about a little too long and long and then she had no one had seen her in a little bit
So if I was excited for her to come back and then it was like oh she has like a bad role
Whereas she's now been working a lot so she's like back but her revenge return was not great
Yeah, but that was her revenge in the end
So the point is there at the hotel and Amish Chris is like it's like
fantasy island like they might as well
have more their opening the windows
like that's more can maybe like more
in the title of more can maybe okay
think you're talking about tattoo yeah
maybe it was before my time unless
you're I'm so sorry I'm talking to my
young friend Ben somewhere to Russian lesbians are like this I'm so sorry I'm talking to my young friend Ben somewhere
or two Russian lesbians are like,
is someone talking about us?
No, not that tattoo.
Well, if there's a Russian lesbian couple named
more Kentucky, more Kentucky named after
seven or four years of the 70s,
I've been, they were drawn together by that.
So they have a letter and it's like chefs,
it's me, Padma. They're like, oh, we're going to a saline. Yeah. By the way, I have to mention
this, there was some scuttle butt on the crap and I'm sorry, I'm like, I have like a lot of saliva
today. So I apologize if it sounds really gross it's really unpleasant it's like
sucking on a candy no I don't I don't have any candies in my mouth at all my
mouth is clear but just like I think all this I'm like pre-salivating over top
chef so I know this is really fabulous content everyone. But anyway, they're like, Morgan, Mindy, saliva.
So I was in a gutter doing heroin,
waiting for food to save me.
But there's been some conspiracy theories
that last week's Quick Fire Challenge
where Padmo was sitting alone in a room,
actually involved Johnny, Euzini,
or whatever his name is, the pastry chef. He got busted in the
Me Too movement and basically, you know, that's the reason why ABC canceled the great holiday
bake off, etc. And so people are theorizing that he was there, but that he was like edited
out of the competition, which is why there
was that weird Padma voiceover and why you only saw her, but they prepared two dishes and
apparently there was like a second chair there and why there was like a lot of voice, like
was she explained the rules and a lot of voiceover, just some food for thought to look to go
back and look at.
Because I know you love their capacity theory.
Well, they're cutting, it's not even a conspiracy, they're just cutting out manhandlers on this one.
It's like it turns out like 50% of the people who were guest judges this year are like, you know,
assaulting people sexually, so they're having to cut it out. It's like Jesus.
Yeah, Jeff's keeping your hands.
Seriously. So anyway, so then I just wanted to, if anyone has any other insights about that,
please speak up because we love a good conspiracy theory. So anyway so the final four they go to
a saloon the next day the saloon's called like the Sheraton Saloon.
The new Sheraton Saloon which is weird because it sounds like the hotel right?
Yeah I first thought that they were saying they're going to the Sheraton and I was
like oh okay. Yeah that's how was like, there was supposed to be,
there was supposed to be a lot of extras here,
but they've all assaulted women.
So we've cut them out.
We've decided to reshoot the quick fire
at the local Sheraton, because we know,
we know this lowly line chef hasn't touched anyone in years.
This place sounds too much like sharing dad,
which is rapy.
So we've moved to the saloon everybody.
And Carrie's like, it's a cowboy bar.
She became a seal at the end.
So Carrie is balancing a ball on her nose.
But oh, by the way, this is totally, again I'm once again stopping the flow. I forgot to mention I have to give a shout out
To the sexy unique podcasts because I guessed it on it this week to talk Vanderpump rules
So if you want to hear more Vanderpump rules come on again without me what that?
I don't know. Excuse me. I've only been on once. That's my first time. That's my first time. She only interviews one person at a time
So I'm sure your time will be decent.
Oh, whatever.
Great.
I feel so great being second.
Feels good, Laura, thanks.
Well, I'm sure you'll have an opportunity to shame her in person because she's great.
I don't need that person.
I would only do it behind your back.
Hidden away on a top chef recap.
Yeah.
I'm sure she's listening to it with all ears right now.
Yeah.
She's like, what have I done?
Yeah.
So Edmund Tom are there with the creepiest of Crete's Wiley Dufraing.
Yeah.
Now, how has Wiley Dufraing not assaulted somebody? He literally has a neck beard.
Yeah, he has one of those beards that comes out from under the collar.
It crawls up and out and it just sort of rests on his out of my apple.
Yeah.
And the Bernadana is like, he's legendary.
He's pushed the boundary of what food is.
It's a lot of pressure cooking for him.
And it's also a lot of pressure cooking for him. You know was like, and it's also a lot of pressure cooking for him.
You know, it's like Bruno Dan doesn't even know what she's saying. And I still like her. I'm behind her.
Pressure for games. That's stupid.
So Padma's like, how's the altitude, chefs? And then Tom is like, oh, how's the attitude?
Tom is like, how's the attitude? Get it?
I feel the altitude in my throat, my heart, I feel gal rising.
It's disgusting, Jess. How about you?
This must be what gal feels like all the time.
Tom's like, well, well, you know, it's like a saloon.
But it's a higher, you know, it's like a saloon town.
Saloon high. Saloon altitude high. It's a high saloon
Okay, John. Hey, this gives a different meaning to a high noon, right? Right? Get it? Anybody get it? That joke?
That joke?
My my dear friend Gail Simmons once got altitude sickness at the top of the Ferris wheel bless her heart
Before the Medevac to get her out of the thing because her vomit stopped the ferris wheel
mid-wheeling, I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Gail would be here but she's trying to find ugly patterns that can stand the altitude.
Our dear friend Gail Simmons isn't here at this quick fire right now because she got distracted by an alpaca down on Main Street.
No one has the heart to tell her, it's just a blanket.
We told her there was some street food here and she'd be headed to rabbit and is currently eating it raw outside.
Gail shows up later in like this rabbit fur thing and I'm like, where did you get that?
Unfortunately our dear friend Gail Simons can't
join us today because someone told her that there's these new caramel M&M's and we haven't seen
her in 24 hours. We've told Gail every 7-11. We told Gail it was the Latin Emmys so she's at home
getting her makeup done. Okay so she tells us back in the day tell you ride was a frontier town based on drinking gambling and saloons
So we're going to make gastropub inspired this and featuring
Suspyrida
How did that lead into this?
I think the I think the link is that Suspyrilla was served us saloons maybe I guess I don't know what the fuck she's talking about
And then you've got wily there and he goes be fun
Exciting I was like well you two were a barrel of monkeys. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, okay, you get to choose from like
pork
Sasperilla chicken onions and lemons. It's like wow. We will be I'm sure there'll be very fun and exciting with those ingredients
Yeah, they all have to make something sass perilla inspired. We like to call it the S-word because if you say sass brilla fully Gail comes running with chocolate all around her face and she'll
drink anything you have poor thing. It's a trigger word for her. Well I know you guys are excited to
you know get with sass Brilla, but guess what?
There's someone coming back from top chef kitchen, so I'd like to announce him all announce him
It is not the guy with the creepy mustache Joe
It is the Joe with the clean shave and face that doesn't have a mustache on it. I eat fat Joe. Welcome back fat Joe
He comes back in a cowboy hat. I was so happy that it was him in
not Bruce.
Because it's fat Joe, we're literally allowing him to steal
something off of your plates.
Yeah, because they drew knives to pick ingredients. And so
they all had a protein, they all had a few different things. So
so Fatter Joe comes in and he takes basically Carrie's
um, pork and uh, and mustaches Carrots and he's like, oh, I was gonna be able to hold
this around the Carrots. I'm like, he's so, Carrie has just like, all she has is her
aromatics, she has audience and limits and you're complaining that your Carrots are missing.
Come on. And she's like, I'm gonna do the best part of onion soup.
The top!
I mean, toasts are awesome.
You can't bag on it.
It's good every time, right?
Like you think, God, she's gonna get buried
with this fucking toast, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And so she, but she's, I mean,
because she's making the top of an onion soup,
which is essentially a toast, except I would argue
that my favorite part about the onion soup is that it's soggy.
It's a soggy, bready, cheesy thing, right? It's not toasty, but there.
Well, the top is, you have the croutons and the shit that's cooked over it.
Yeah, but by the time you really get into it, it's usually soft, which I like, right?
Yeah. It's not really crispy.
I had to toast it extra.
You! Toasted so extra! right? Yeah. It's not really crispy. I had to toast it extra. Yeah.
Toss it so extra.
Yeah. So all misch is like I'm making sassafratt.
No, it's a gorilla.
Sassafrill was spelled S-A-R-S-A-P-A-R-I-L-A.
There's like a silent or I keep calling it sassafratt.
He's like, I'm going to make sassaf, there's too much. I keep calling it sassafras. He's like, I'm gonna make sassafras country gravy.
This could be worth 10 grand.
I hope so.
I mean you equipment.
I see the finish line.
I feel like a winner.
I was like, I don't hear he comes.
He's like, I use Sess Brilla all the time actually.
So I'm very comfortable with this.
I was like, okay, he's going home.
First of all, why are you using Sess Brilla all the time?
Okay, I don't even know what Cess Brilla,
I didn't even know it was something
that you could have access to anymore.
I thought it was from olden days.
I thought it was like moxie,
this beverage that we see on the National Geographic channel.
I didn't know Cess Brilla was like a thing
you could buy that you would cook with.
I thought it was something you use with an eyedropper
that you get in the whole foods aisle. Where they're like, are you would cook with. I thought it was something you use with an eye dropper that you get in the whole food
aisle.
You know, are you tired?
Yes.
Are you depressed?
Yes.
Are you chunky?
Yes.
Do you wonder why life exists?
Yes.
Try this vitamin B in an eye dropper.
It has burrilla.
It has burrilla.
It just sounds like the thing that was named, that, that was the name of that guy
and Luneetune's with the guns.
Oh.
You have somebody say.
You have somebody say.
It seems like something that he would say, like, ah, Sasparilla.
That's Marilla.
That damn bug's bunny.
Yeah.
That's really Yotamidena.
Yeah.
So, mustache is making cold Sasparilla soup with halibut, which to me sounds disgusting.
Admittedly, I don't really know what sass bril a taste like, but just the idea of cold sass
bril a soup with halibut, I'm like not on board.
However, I'm not a judge and apparently later on, not to jump too far ahead, they liked
it.
Yeah, and he does cure halibut, which means he doesn't have to cook it.
Yeah, exactly. So they start to serve, and Chris serves up a potato.
I say potato curado.
Potato crusted chicken fried steak with sasperla gravy, something like that.
Basically chicken fried steak with sasperla gravy, which they're like fine with.
And then mustache serves his, his crudo with sasperla and fennel soup.
And I was like, it's very refreshing, Chris.
I mean, Joe, whatever your name is,
mustache.
Very refreshing.
And then, a fat Joe's like, here's my stolen dish.
I picked some carrots and put them in some Sasperilla,
and she goes, hmm, how'd you cook this pork?
And he's like, well, it wasn't completely cooked because of the altitudes, so I finished it in the pan. And she was, hmm, how'd she cook this pork? And he's like, well, it wasn't completely cooked
because of the altitudes, so I finished it in the pan.
And she was like, OK, she goes, thank you, Joe.
Like her voice got high as in, like, please turn around,
so you don't have to see me spit this out right now.
Thank you, hiding the pork in her cheek.
So Carrie is like, I had onions, basically. I mean, I had other things, but it's like I was skiing, you know.
Sometimes you just take your skis off and you think, what's the best part of a ski soup, you know?
It's a popular girl's head. That's what I made.
She's like, it's pickled carrots.
Yeah, that's what I meant. What did I say?
Yeah, Carrie serves her onion soup topper and Thomas.
It's, uh, it's a Northern Christine.
That's basically what it is.
It's a Southern Christine.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Christine, what do we call it?
Slalom.
And then Fat Joe in the back tells Luigi, she can't win twice with Tartines.
No, it just can't.
It was Luigi who said that.
Luigi was like, she can't win twice with fucking Tartines.
And then Joe Flam was like, I know I'm like listen mustache you are do it you've
done like a dumpling a stuffed dough ten times the season okay and you really
haven't gotten dinged for it too much so just be quiet yeah just quiet down
over there quiet down then the burn it down is like
saspirilla chicken saspirilla with sasprilla inspired sasprilla sasprilla
I'm not gonna say to help you
Roger please don't say sasprilla again
Sasprilla god you can't help yourself can you go?
Adrian I like how plain you are now you can go
Oh well, thanks like how plain you are now you can go uh... oh well thanks
while he's like well that was wildly creative but i guess it was tasty he goes
he goes
uh... agents chicken didn't say much about sasperola
god who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who I mean, Tom's like, well, you know, that Joe's is pork was dry and I didn't really taste any sass
Prila, so you know, you go.
It's like, it was like, it was like a sass, but no, a lot of Prila.
You know what I'm saying?
That was junk right there.
Ha ha, Tom, that was very funny.
Hmm.
Might be that one time when we took gale fly fishing and she fell in the mouth and got a bruise and flushed any bacteria.
Ha! That was great.
Well guess who wins?
The soup chopper toast!
And why? Because as White as White says, it was a sasperilla challenge and you really
let the sasperilla show through.
Jesus Christ.
You guys sure aren't picked for your energy levels.
Yeah.
Good.
And Luigi's like toast.
Toast.
Again, I'm like, no.
What did I just make?
You made crudos, sir.
Yeah, you made crudos.
Yeah, you made no effort.
Okay, you made fucking crudos, Sada.
Yeah.
Did you mean to take a commercial break right now?
Yeah, did you mean to take a commercial break right now?
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So now it's time for the elimination challenge. on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.
So now it's time for the elimination challenge.
In Panama's like, we're going higher than we've ever been before.
It's going to be a high concept dish, high concept idea, high end dish,
and the highest restaurant in North America.
Are you ready, chefs?
Are you high? Yes, I am. You know, her asses. I they just sell
them weed out at the, out at the side posts out there. I thought it was actually going
to be a warning now. I thought it was going to be a weed challenge because it's legal in Colorado.
Yeah. And Padma loves getting high. People say on the, people who've worked on the show
doing this, they just always hide the whole time, which is why she always looks weird. And yeah, LA has totally turned into that place where every time
you walk down the street, you just smell we, everyone's just smoking weed like a cigarette. Everywhere.
It's everywhere. It's crazy. It makes me nervous. You know, I'm used to being nervous
smoking in public and now people are like, yep, smoking in front of the Starbucks.
service smoking in public and now people are like, yep smoking in front of the Starbucks. So yeah, basically the key to this elimination challenge is that they're going to be up
like super high.
I don't remember how high it was like 13,000 feet or something like that, but you know,
at high altitudes it affects the way things cook and to make things even more difficult
each chef has to have a baked element on their plate.
And of course baking is much, much more difficult
at high elevations because things take longer
to happen processes, et cetera, science, chemistry,
you know, all that fun stuff.
Yeah.
So they're talking about how hard it is
and curious like explaining how hard it's going to be.
And she's like, I was a baker in a coffee shop a little bit,
but that was during my skiing day.
So I didn't really concentrate on the baking. So I'm not some badass altitude baker. I could ski down the hill
If anybody needs me to I could do that
For this elimination challenge. She's like, I think I'm just gonna do like a coffee topper. I was in a coffee shop
How about just like foam? I'm just mr. Foam cappuccino foam
They probably loved that
They would I mean you wouldn't it's foam
They probably loved that. They would. I mean, you wouldn't. It's foam.
Who hates foam?
Yeah, well, I mean, remember Marcel had a foam issue back in season two, but...
Well, he made like spit foam.
I don't like when it looks like a luge on my plate.
Right. I mean, who doesn't like coffee foam, latte foam?
Some girl on Starbucks the other day was like, um, I don't think he made this right.
She's like, what's wrong with it? She goes, it's only foam.
And she said, well, didn't you order a cappuccino?
She's like, yeah, she goes, oh, so I think you mean a lot day because that has
milk. It's not just foam. She's, too, that like she got mad at the lady.
Oh, you know, if I don't have foam on my cappuccino, you know, you know, what happens
to me? I get foam oh
All right, I fear of missing out foam
Your foam move
Our dear friend Gail Simmons has terrible foam. Oh, that's why she's been sucking on a lollipop all day
She doesn't want to miss out on any treat here until you arrive. Bless her heart
Gail wipe the rabbit blood off your face, you're embarrassing us.
Gail, no, I don't want another gobb stopper.
You can have that one yourself, Gail.
So Luigi starts talking about how he's going to make a pro fitter role, even though he
doesn't really know what that is.
And no one bothers to tell him, by the way.
Yeah.
I have no idea what it is, but I guess I'll try.
Ho ho!
And he's like, this is more in my repertoire.
And Kerry goes, well, you haven't made them,
so that's not really your repertoire.
Yeah.
Oh, good.
And LeBernadette is like, you know,
I feel like I'm really on the verge of finding my voice.
I've been, you know, learning from all these chefs
and, you know, learning all sorts of new techniques.
And, but I haven't made it my own.
And I think I'm really on the verge of getting my own voice.
So then I was like, oh, well, maybe she's going home because she's on the verge of
finding her voice.
Then that's exactly who padden the likes to cut away.
Well, she's timing her voice finding to the end because if she, if she said, I finally
found my voice, then she'd be kicked off.
It's like she's watched enough to know I can't reach my goal until the end.
So somebody cries, you know?
Yeah, I think I really think they're setting her up to win the whole thing because there was
a diary thing last week and now this week she's so close to finding her voice which makes me think
that she is going to get her voice at the very very end like they've given her an arc out of nowhere
so I think they're setting us up for her to win the whole thing. The voice.
us up for for her to win the whole thing. The voice.
Um, sail, let's see.
They bring in the Tom comes in with the the guest chef, what's his name?
So his name is Paul Liebernt, or Lieberant, Lieberant, what it like.
Like, hello.
Yeah, he comes in, he looks sort of like a prissy Jack White and he's like, hmm, hello there.
Well, I cooked at 18,000 feet.
Anywho, what's going on here?
Brohans.
He's like, let me give you a little quiz. Shall I?
Person from the Mario Brothers game.
He's like, whoo-hoo, okay, what?
He's like, how are you going to do things differently now that you're so high?
And Luigi's like, well, I've got to change the temperature, that I cook at. I've got to change the time I cook at and he goes and
You might want to use more whites than you can he's like
What a devilish tip I just delivered
If anyone needs me I'll be at the Madeline
Remember you have three thousand feet higher tomorrow
It's like okay
And then he is and then of course is like the perfect you know
juxtaposition him talking to Carrie cuz he is so dour and dark and care is like
So much will you be making for us on this fine?
So what will you be making for us on this fine dreary day?
She's like, I'm thinking about to be a beef Wellington because you know, it's fun But like a little different but it'd be crazy for me to do it. I don't know
He's like hmm
That's going to be hard
It's like if you nail it it would show amazing techniques
But if you fail I will eat your liver with fava beans.
It's like, oh my god, I hear the lamb screaming.
I hear the lamb screaming.
Yeah, he was just very intense and humorless.
He's not guy, he's like super picky, but you know, he eats everything.
Yeah.
He's going to eat the whole plate.
He's like, I found this granola bar to be quite delicious so though I could tell it was cooked
at altitude like it's it's a kudos bar I mean I would say kudos to this bar that I can't
they should call this the I can't bar because that's how it's making me feel. So they leave and Carey's like, oh do I have the balls to cook beef Wellington for an English chef?
Yeah
So the next morning they're in the gondola going up to the high restaurant and Carey's like I'm nervous
I'm nervous in my stomach
Also, I have sausage in my pocket anybody
I'm nervous in my stomach. Also, I have sausage in my pocket.
Anybody?
That is so scary, too.
Yeah.
She had a dream of perfectly cooked spring veg with cornbread.
So she decided that she was going to basically do that instead of beef Wellington,
because she realized that cooking beef Wellington for a British chef was not maybe a smart idea.
I'm just loving these dreams that she's having because last week
She had to do like what was the theater taught that was
Later taught with something in it. I'm glad that theater taught dream didn't come today because he would have been like
Ta-ta taught
Mew
in England we call this
Split Dickey liver
That's what we call a ta-ta taught split Dickey liver. That's what we call a tito tot. We'll split Dickey liver.
So Luigi, they're cooking up at the top of this restaurant and Luigi's like, oh, who
who? Chris and Carrie are being safe with cornbread. My favorite smell is roasted duck fat.
It's intoxicating. You're crazy. So pretentious. It's like so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, prefer roles, okay? And that's the food network where they're like,
Kim Chi, what's Kim Chi?
I have to make something with a hard dog.
What?
It's like this week you have to make chicken ola king again.
That's food network. That's my food network impersonation.
The food network is one that would be like, okay, your challenge is beef Wellington.
Beef Wellington with Bayer.
Yeah, I think they have definitely done that
for a few different times.
So he decides he's just gonna call them puffs
and carries like,
oh, Joe puffs.
Joe puffs.
Ha ha.
Joe puffs.
Ha ha.
Slapping with thigh.
Your jokes work well at this altitude.
I have to say, Joe.
So the Amos grace is like,
well, at 9,000 feet, my cornbread worked,
but up here I'm past 20 minutes.
I'm past 30 minutes.
If it passes an hour, I'm out.
Yeah, my cornbread isn't done.
It's been 40 minutes.
Still not done yet. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm like, okay,ids and done. It's been 40 minutes. Still not done yet.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm like, okay, let me guess.
We'll go to commercial.
I'm going to come back from commercial.
It's going to be done and fine.
And that's exactly what happened.
Yeah.
He's like, even at 12,000 feet.
You just can't stop me.
We'll see about that.
So meanwhile, the judges arrive.
And this thing, this cracked me up this moment
because they arrive and Gail goes, look at that view and Pam just goes, it's beautiful.
Like, shut up Gail, we've all seen it. Were you not looking on the gondola? The only
view I see is the dead rabbit you're wearing that you had for a snack today. You're like, look at me, I'm a Kinssen your address.
And a rabbit for.
Oh, the padmets like, can we just keep this quick?
I have some altitude sickness, it was all I had to call it.
A case of the gales.
Gale, it's nice to see you not wearing patterns today.
Can't wait to see which ones you invent as you drip food all over yourself.
Gail, you know we're not doing a murder mystery tonight at the top of this mountain, so you
can get rid of that stool.
Okay, Gail, I'm just not in the mood.
Bring them out.
So Fat Joe's first, and he's like, Pat and I was like, Joe, tell us what you made for
us.
And he's like, well, tell us what you made for us.
And he's like, well, buttermilk,
braids pork and buttermilk drop biscuits.
Which, look, I know what drop biscuits are
and I'm not against drop biscuits,
but don't say drop biscuits,
especially when you're in nature
because it just sounds like poop.
Yeah, it sounds like a euphemism for poop.
We should also mention that,
before even Fat Joe came out,
that Paul, who's there dressed as they later said like one of the
henchmen from the Matrix, but he just looked like an assassin to me. You say they're just sitting
there, bringing for the food to come out and Paul's like, I've worked at the restaurant in the Alps at 18,000
feet and Gal goes 18,000 my god. It was like, she was like a vision.
I wrote that too.
My God shakes head.
She was like auditioning for like a reboot of Storm of the Century.
Like you're heading right into the jaws of the monster.
My God.
And just like, oh my God, I used to work for Art Smith.
And he just yelled at me all the goddamn time over these biscuits.
So I hope he's still, I hope he'd be happy.
Well, he would be, but he's still yell at me.
Like, oh, poor Joe, I love when people are like, I'm abused, but I still love my father.
Well, I love that story because Art Smith always puts on this image of being, oh, I'm just wacky and fun.
I'm like your gay best friend from
the South who cooked for Oprah. And now look at me, I'm just like this crazy fun guy. I'm
like you are probably evil. And Joe is saying that he was yelled at by him all the time.
And forces you to do nothing but make biscuits proves my point.
Well we say it all the time. Anybody who's that nice is usually also that mean because
it's an intensity. And yeah art definitely it's like that. He's a cop there I've good for Oprah. You said
about bitch this is a biscuit. You born to an idiot. You know what I say about your
biscuits. I say nothing is just wipes everything off the counter. That's a drop
biscuit. With your mouth. The only drop biscuit you'll be eating are the ones that dropped on the floor.
Meanwhile, then Paul is eating the drop biscuit and he's like, hmm, I would have called it a crumble instead of a biscuit.
Whoo!
Am I naughty for saying that?
Tom and Tom's like, oh, well, I like the Roppies. So many textures. And Gail's just like,
19,000 feet. My God. My God, we're doomed. So like holding on, she's like suddenly the reality of
how high she is, like settles in and she just gets instant vertigo. Padmins just starts cracking
up. Look at Gail. Look, she's holding
onto the table like she's on a rollercoaster poor thing. Gail's got a case of the Gail's.
You think that Gail would be fine with the case of the Gail's given that she's the
Gail of the Gail's, but I guess not. You never learn to get over them poor thing.
My God. So back in the kitchen, Amish Care is giving uh, Kerry shit. No, Amish Chris
is giving Kerry shit for copying his cornbread. And she's like, oh no, I'm the one who invented
cornbread, which is the best way to come back to somebody who's like, I'm doing cornbread.
Yeah. She's like, you did not invent cornbread fool. Yeah. Well, Kerry,, I can ski, and rope, fucking goats.
But she doesn't even need to be me.
She just needs to be like he didn't invent it.
Yeah, I started to become concerned for Carey at this point,
because originally I was concerned for Chris
because he said the finish line was inside.
So I was like, OK, he's going home.
Then Adrian was like, I'm just about to find my voice.
And then I was like, OK, she's going home.
And now Carey says, when it comes to fine dining,
to me, fine dining is about simplicity and good ingredients.
I'm like, okay, you're going home
because you don't know what fine dining is.
Well, and then when I heard Luigi say,
I don't know what a preferred role is,
I was like, he's gonna win the whole thing.
Yeah, exactly.
So Carrie serves like Wagyu, Ribbye, and Fartron,
Cornbread, and some stuff. And they're eating it,
and Pam is like, carousel dish doesn't have a distinct point of view to me, but I'm sure
Gail will love it. Here Gail. Does it want to go to college? Does it want to get good at sports?
It's sort of like down on old literature. I don't know. I can't see a POV here.
It's, you know, I can't tell what's up and what's down with this dish. Sort of like gale over there struggling with their instant
onset. Vertigo, bless her heart. I would lay out your not over your water. Kind of like gale over there sitting on her face.
I mean, but get it, Gail. Poor thing.
Does anyone have any drama mean for Gail?
She looks like she's about to fall right off the side of this mountain poor thing.
So in badminton, it says it doesn't have a POV. Tom's like, who cares? It's good.
You know, sometimes the POV is like, let's be a good dish. Maybe this, uh, maybe this dish
woke up this morning, you know, that, well, I just want to be a good dish. I think it be a good dish. Maybe this dish woke up this morning, you know, and that, whoa, I just wanna be a good dish.
I think it was a good dish.
So nice B-A-O-V, nice job.
And Kerry's like, whoa, whoa, I changed my mind
because I wasn't gonna make a beep Wellington
for the most famous chef in Britain.
Me, but, yes.
He's like, I appreciate the difference to my heritage.
Shun, so I'll just have your lack of POV dishes.
I appreciate you not calling me meatloaf.
Mr. Anderson, I mean, Kerry.
And he says, well, the colon braid on its own enailed it. Otherwise,
Otherwise, it would have been nice to see something that didn't make me want to vomit out of my eyes. So with everything?
I couldn't help but think about how this dish could have been elevated with perhaps a food roll-up.
That would have been a nice touch.
They changed it high altitudes.
Have you ever had corn nuts before? Delicious.
So Luigi's like, oh, I made some duck with some rendered fat and some spring peas and cherry jam
for fitter rolls, even though I don't know what a perfect roll is. And you know, Gus, you don't
know what a perfect roll is and he goes no it goes
Interesting
She's all pissed like she or you have really pissed off Gale sir. She was actually she was even she was actually more speechless than that
She goes you've never had just a oh
Okay, but she couldn't even articulate it. She was so shocked
Padma's just laughing just like looking at Gell laughing like,
you blew her mind, I love that.
Where the duck was rendered quite perfectly,
but that puff was dashed by the altitude.
I'm sorry, I just know, choked on myself.
I could tell that that cherry puff was cooked at altitude I'm sorry, I just know, choked on myself.
I could tell that that cherry puff was cooked at altitude and what it really needed was
the touch of an expert would cook at 18,000 feet.
Oh my god!
You just said, Gale over the mountain.
Gale, stop knocking on the door of that gondola.
It's not time yet.
Would someone get Gal away from the gondola?
Gal, you're gonna hurt yourself. Get, oh look.
She got some dirt on her forehead.
So the Bernadine comes out and say, oh, well, guys, this is my happiest dish ever.
The Leverny Dayan comes out, she's like, oh, well, guys, this is my happiest dish ever.
Oh, I made it with all of the crazy Butter Puts Lobster
mountain bread, and Padmicus, how was the altitude?
Yeah.
We're just curious to see how it's affecting people,
because as you can see, Gail Simmons over here
is making snow angels in the dirt,
which is problematic, of course.
Gail's like, oh my God, so this is like,
Mountain bread is basically a hybrid between
Focaccia bread and holler bread or whatever.
And she goes, yeah, and she's like, oh, I love it.
We know Gail.
It's like when Gail takes two bites of those breads
and eat them same time.
Shocker. Poor thing doesn't know what she's saying anymore.
She's got such a bad case.
The Gail's.
Gail's like let me in here.
Let me in of this condola.
Gail, stop.
Now.
The axe.
The axe.
The axe.
She goes.
I really liked it.
And he goes, well, I love that she adapted the bread.
She took Hala.
And by the way, I did not look anything like Hala,
but she took Hala and mixed it with pan-a-
was it, means a pan-a-
pan-a-
pan-a-
pan-a-
whatever it was.
And he was very, very thrilled with it.
So then Chris is now frying some quail and he's like, this may have been the best dish
I put out all season long.
I'm like, okay, so we're back to Chris going home.
Great.
Pretty much.
So he comes out and he's like, oh, I made a corn pudding and making maple cornbread.
Yeah. I made a corn pudding and making maple cornbread.
Yeah, wait.
Maple bacon cornbread.
And he's like, did it come out like you wanted it to?
He's like trying to take admirable spots.
Yeah.
And he's like 100%.
I stand behind it 100%.
Has he fallen asleep?
Somebody poke Amish Chris and tell him to wake up.
Best ever, best ever, it's my best ever.
Paul just sips water behind his hitman sunglasses.
He's like, hmm, 100%.
Padma, I'll let you take this one.
May I?
Good.
Did you mean for it to be so overcooked Chris?
Oh, that felt good.
Tom goes, I don't know. So overcooked Chris. Oh, that felt good
Don't go I don't know if this really checks the fine dining box, but you know, I mean whatever No sign, you know, you know, and it goes like I like the batter. No shut up. Yeah
I was like, of course you did gal
Anything that has the texture of old rubber turns you on
So fat Joe
Back in the stew room fat Joe Joe's like, dude, that English
dude's going to yell at us for five hours and then make himself top chef. He's right.
He's like, you're all going home. I miss Fat Joe. Yeah. So the top three are Fat Joe,
Luigi and LeBernadin. Yes, exactly.
Pretty much everyone did really well.
The judges loved all the dishes.
But those three were their absolute favorites.
And Joe Sasto, aka Luigi, aka mustache.
He's the one who wins.
And then the focus goes to the other two. So how much terms to Chris?
How is today for you Chris?
That's my suggestion to say that your food tasted like you had a terrible terrible day.
Was it as terrible as the food makes it seem?
The honest Chris.
Will you confess or repress Chris and he's like, I'm gonna repress. It was my best day ever. Best thing I've ever made.
And he's like, I'm gonna repress. It was my best day ever, best thing I ever made.
And Willie's like, or Wiley's like,
well, the corn pudding was delicious.
And Gail's like, and the corn bread, that was fantastic.
But, you know, there were more delicate pieces
that were lost.
You ate a rabbit today, Gail.
Oh.
Gail.
Maybe your teeth are still numb.
Gail, I'm not sure your teeth but I've recovered from you making out with the gauntlet
door earlier.
Sorry, everybody.
We had to cut part of Gail's tongue off because she put her tongue against the gauntlet while
it was frozen.
Idiot.
She's out of bad case the gail's today.
Just bear with her.
Gail's like, a movie call, where?
I'm not that. Don't listen to her. Gail's like, a movie called, where? Man, man!
I don't listen to her.
She loved every bite.
Carrie,
what was the concept of your dish?
Because as far as I could tell,
it just looked like a whole bunch of
Chef Boyardy on a plate.
Gail knows what I'm talking about.
Don't you, Gail?
No, no!
No!
Or as Gail calls it,
Tuesday night, as Gail calls it Tuesday night, shea Gail
So Tom's like, you know, the cornbread was good. It was perfect. You know, I love cornbread
Yeah, at a point if you were psyched look, I'm corn and I've been dried in a host and now I've been turned into bread
So you know work for me work for me. Yeah
Hust and now I've been turned into bread. So, you know, work for me.
Work for me?
Yeah, yeah.
And why was it like, your vision wasn't clear.
And I say this as someone who once cooked at 18,000 feet
above sea level.
Gales, my God.
Oh my God.
My God.
My God.
My God, the tricycle of all.
Stop trying to talk, Gail.
Gail, let the wounds heal.
Bless her heart.
She tries so hard.
So then Tom Giss is lessened for the day.
He's like, you know, chef, come into 12,000 feet
of some metaphor.
We reach as high as we can, and then we you know, and take it to the next level.
Like the guy who went 6,000 feet higher, sitting over there, scaring everybody, and acting like
cannibal lector.
But one of you felt short of a fava being today.
So who's that gonna be?
And I thought for sure it was gonna be carried because the whole analogy made it sound, you
know, she played it safe and they were saying how at least Chris his didn't really worked out
But he took a risk so it sounded like Thomas saying, you know some people they get hot
They get to the top of the mountain and they pushed to go even higher
So I was like oh gosh carries going home
Especially because Paul was really really upset that he didn't get his beef Wellington like Like, he was clearly waiting for that all day long.
He's like, maybe he got says about Lenton today.
Mommy.
Well, I think it's because Carrie made her own bread and she did make a fine dining dish
even though it was walking in puberty, but Chris really just made soul food again.
And so it wasn't really fine dining food.
So he didn't go that extra 6,000 feet.
Yeah, so he had to pack his knives and go.
And Pat McCos, see you in Brooklyn.
Ha ha, just kidding.
I don't cross bridges.
Who goes to Brooklyn?
Am I right, Gale?
Gale's like, it was a metaphorical question.
Gale's still looking for a good wing spot in Staten Island.
So that was basically it.
Chris went home and now we have sort of the final four again, right?
Because we have Adrian, Fat Joe, Luigi Joe, and Kerry.
And so next week they're going to be making what's it called?
Rocky Mountain Oysters. So that'll be fun little testicles little testicle action on top shift
Yes, so someone's like tastes like balls
Which of course I love they are so anyway, let's turn over since it's Friday. Let's go
Let's pivot over to the crap in's mailbag. Shall we? Ready for some crap in's mailbag? Let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, Kido, Kido.
This is like a really, really big mailbag.
Normally they have like 12 questions in them
and this one has like 22.
So, okay, Alison King asks which
International city would you like to see a real housewise franchise?
For that does not yet exist which city do you think would be good? I feel like London would be a good one, right?
London would be good. We have ladies of London. It's true
But I guess doesn't count but it counts to me.
I would like to see Rome because from all my friends
who have gone to Rome, people in Rome are so bitchy
and hateful towards Americans, which I think is so funny.
And I would love to see that because girl,
women from Rome don't take any kind of shit.
Yeah, they definitely don't.
Or maybe like Israel.
You know some Israeli women They are they're pushing
How about in this real house was a Israel real house was of Tel Aviv
Oh my god, that would be amazing. I'm down. That would be that would be very good. I think I would like that a lot
Let's see Mike Bowman. He says hi guys. I recently saw Jack's talking about going to see cats on Broadway with Brittany and enjoying it.
How do you think that played out?
That's a funny question. I don't know why.
So how do you think it played out when Jacks and Brittany saw cats?
Well, Jacks probably had a heart on the whole time just because there were so many people and, you know, like
Jim suits, like Spandex and stuff.
He's like, I never knew cats were so hot.
And then Brittany probably kept asking weird questions.
Like, what is a jellicle cat?
Hey, why is that tire floating?
Tires don't do that.
Do you know what I mean?
That's like a bobble thing.
I haven't seen a tire that big since my daddy
drove me to prom at the big wheeler
Sunday Sunday
What's a mr. Mustafa's miss
And what's a did he miss a police a staph a lease? I don't get it quite
JX
JX that you up on that tire with Gris welda
Jackson that you up on that tire with Gris Waldo.
Hi, do they answer my question? They say, Jevicle catch or Jevicle catch.
Well, what kind of sister that made, Jay?
Jay, Jay,
Alex.
These phones don't even rhyme,
Jay, I like that.
Like how did a player was just all Brittany just trying to make sense of the cat?
I was like various things and cats.
Cause she knows true.
Jackson's like rubbing his heart on under his jeans,
which you know he wore jeans.
Yeah.
And Britney's over there asking questions like, yeah.
Are those real cats?
I love cats.
They are so cute.
I'm usually more of a dog person.
Why is that cat so sad?
How did they turn?
How did they teach K at Singles?
Hey, I know I'm gonna do something called dogs.
I like to see dogs.
Telekoop dogs, I don't even know, Jack.
I'm glad that dogs don't talk.
Memories in the dogs and the memories and houses and the bones and the memories and the dogs and the pump and adoption and you lian memories. I like that song
The only thing I want to forget is memories like we don't blame you honey
Okay, so let's see we have this one is from this question is from two hours ago. Okay, my god
Sorry, stop. I saw us a recent
Maria okay, let's see
Maria God, sorry, stop. Sorry, it's a recent. Maria, okay, let's see.
Maria, Kokaias Minos.
Kokaias Minos.
Kokaias Minos.
Sounds like a Greek last name, and I'm sure I'm butchering it.
Maria says, given that multiple cast members
of Van Pomp rules in Summer House
have confirmed that Carl and Shina hooked up,
could you please imagine what a conversation between Shina
and Lauren Workis or both Workis Twins would sound like.
Workis Twins and Shina talking about who's break up? No sleeping with Carl. Oh my god.
Hey, Hey Shina, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina,
Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, Hey, Shina, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey, hey, she ain, hey, she ain, hey So I think that like maybe you should be less concerned about Carl and more concerned about Carl
No, I'm saying here.
Carl why are you talking about Carl?
Why don't you get Carl out of your mouth?
Yeah, why don't you get Carl out of your mouth?
How would you feel if you were like Rob?
Rob, did you put your weight on him?
Do you put your weight on him?
Do you love him?
Rob, did you say love him?
Where's Rob? Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Rob Y'all. That's how she'll just go. I may y'all. I may. Okay. I can't talk.
We can power through. We can finish up this mail back today. I firmly believe it. We have just like a few more.
And so here is one. Where did it go? It was a really good one. Okay. Are they hand roll?
He said, can you go through Bruno's Instagram and please do a rendition of Clear the Flamme to his ridiculous quotes and half nude photos.
So I'm bringing up Bruno Duarte's Instagram. This is Bruno from Below Deck.
And we are going to go through some of his Instagram in the style of Caroline Fleming. Here's one I have found a picture of him, his Instagram handle, by the way, for people,
is Bruno underscore A.C.D.
And so here's one where he is sitting at a desk and a jock strap with glasses on, looking
at the camera, pensively, he's by a laptop, as if he's about to do some real work.
And he goes, work hard, cause it pays off. Trust me.
Dot, dot, dot, hashtag work play hard, hashtag life, hashtag entrepreneur,
hashtag blogger, hashtag businessman, hashtag work with style, hashtag be yourself,
hashtag don't give a fuck, hashtag LGBT hashtag addicted.
Oh God, I'm surprised he didn't have hashtag Ellen DeGeneres,
which is as usual. So what is it? It's Bruno at underscore what?
It's you can just do like a search for Bruno Duarte, but it's Bruno underscore a CD
A CD on Instagram
Here's another one while you look that up here. He's standing naked in his kitchen
But his his counter his kitchen counter is basically hiding his junk
But so you can see though his full like sigh, like it's an uninterrupted thigh shot. And he goes,
when you don't get, when you're starting to read in Carolina, something voice, I
tired. When you don't give a fuck to anyone, but the ones you love, hashtag love,
hashtag free, hashtag yourself, hashtag success, hashtag send up, hashtag naked,
hashtag men, hashtag soul, hashtag LGBT Hashtag haters gonna hate I'm like
What about this photo says anything about
Giving it like not giving a fuck to anyone, but the ones you love. It's just a picture of you naked
It's just a picture of you I hate this fucking guy. I hate him
I hate that he's like I'm the bar now and he's got like some
Huck and porn thing you can follow and it's just his stupid overworked out at grabbing his dick all over the place and
Making stupid fucking statements to have nothing to do with anything. He's like, okay, this one
He's laying down on his futon which LOL and he's squeezing his dick under a blanket and looking at the floor like is that something on the floor
I should pick up or should I masturbate first? Like that's a look on his face, okay? There's nothing sexy about this. He looks like he's poor and
Ikea obsessed and can't stop touching his weener. Like he looks like a sex offender basically.
Yeah. And everything by the way on this Instagram is black and white and for those of you who don't know,
that's how horrors like to pretend they're artistic. Okay. So Bruno, he's like,
my life is my message. At the false hashtag life, hashtag motivation, hashtag lifestyle,
hashtag gay, hashtag Christmas, hashtag new year, hashtag new life, hashtag love, hashtag Thursday top, hashtag go travel, hashtag get fit, hashtag eat, hashtag
brunos, hashtag photoshoot, hashtag model, hashtag instogood, hashtag balodic, hashtag bravo TV.
None of this stuff is relevant to the picture.
That's my issue.
I think he's super hot, but my my issue with
with him and with a lot of Instagram people is people like Instagram Instagram hose will
post a photo. That's just like a slutty photo. And but rather than live up rather than own
the sluddiness, they put an inspirational message or something that's sort of like, I don't
give a fuck. Haters are going to hate, But there's usually something where it's like, it's almost like they're trying to
critic-proof the basically a narcissistic photo. Like, here I am, short list for
no good reason. Actually, I shouldn't say for no good reason. If you want to be
short list, it's fine. If you want to take a photo of it, it's fine. But then
don't put something, you know, don't put something under it like you're sitting
in like a thong and be like, leave year of your life full of numerous new things mistakes and accomplishments. Don't spend your life doing the same thing or the same experiences
Like no, this you're not here to give us an inspirational message
You're here to show off your body and I have your day the show
It makes me crazy and people who work out that much make me crazy too. It's like enough already
Okay, it's not even cute, it's just too much.
And I'm looking right now at Only Fans,
which is where he has his porn stuff.
And I have to hand it to the guy.
I mean, he's a total twin personality
freely, you know, idiot to me,
but he's got 225 fans.
I mean, 1999 a month.
Yeah, I mean, I would want to see him naked.
That's for sure, but I mean,
I think that the Instagram personality is a little something. Okay, we got two questions left
They're by the same person here comes the first one
Benjamin a tool King Edmunds Cohen one of all one of all longest contributors
Or supporters he says I have to disagree with you guys on below deck being good this year
It was mediocre at best. That's largely due to casting a bore like Brianna who served two plates this season and the editors making the show
exclusively about the interpersonal drama between the cast and making the guests incidental
Do you guys have any insight from Nadine Kate or Nico?
That's why the show no longer focuses so heavily on the cast rather than splitting the time with the guests
I don't personally always been the guests have always been, the guests have always been incidental.
Yeah, I actually didn't feel, so I did not think it was as good of a season as other seasons,
but I still felt like it was really enjoyable.
I didn't feel like it was less on the guests.
I just, but the my feeling on this season was it seemed like they had thrown in a bunch
of green people to create drama.
And which was funny and everything, but it like, it wasn't as fun as I thought it would
be.
And I think that maybe because Blow Deck Med had such a super strong season where there
was like all sorts of love triangles that maybe they were trying to foster that a little
bit, I do think Brianna was like not the most interesting. I thought she was going to sort of
turn into something a little more interesting, but that being said, I still thought it was a really
good season and I really enjoyed it because I feel like it, no matter what, these people are stuck
on a yacht and they become crazy and by the end of the season you get wrapped up in all sorts of
petty bullshit and that's why I love about the show. Well, men had a season that was about having green people and that was rare having that
many and it turned into such a shit show that I think the new season was like, let's do
that too.
And so they wanted to do that same thing but it didn't work the same because most of the
people really were emotionally stable.
I mean, Matt could have had so many breakdowns and freaked out over Kate just being mean, you know. He could have lost it a few times. And then Breonna could have
freaked out about being treated like a total whore on that show by Niko and being
slut-shamed by everybody else, but they didn't. They were like sensible. Yeah, they were.
So it's almost like they're good people. And so it didn't necessarily make for a great
season. But, you know, some of the times we cover these shows just because we cover these shows.
And so, back to the more like it's a great season or it's season because I much cover them.
I'm, I y'all, those seed didn't have. He's a master, but I loved it. I thought it was one of the most fun seasons ever. So yeah, I know. Ronny, you broke up there a little bit, but you're coming back, but I apologize to listeners
who didn't hear some of those words there, but I think we got the just of what you were
saying.
And now the final question of this mailbag, before we fill it up, also from Benjamin O'Tool
King, Edmunds Cohen, this came in from four days ago.
We should also mention the last question was like from two months ago. So this will probably make this question make more
sense. He says, this mailbag is two months old as a February 12, 2018, because we post what
happens we post these things and say, Hey, everyone, right questions will put a post up.
So this one went up like two months ago. This mailbag is two months old as of February 12th 2018. Only one question
is read at a time after the top chef episode, which is at the end of the week. In other words,
it seems like this segment is buried. Do you, Ben Madelker, hate the crap in mailbag? If so,
are you willing to take suggestions for a new $5 Patreon reward? We are always willing to take
suggestions for the reward for sure.
I actually do not hate the mailbag.
I actually love the mailbag, but what happens is that sometimes we get to the end of the
week and we are running on fumes.
I'm just going to say it, sometimes we're running on fumes and it's just like, oh my God,
sometimes we think, oh my God, we're done and they're like, oh wait, we have to do more
content.
It's like that moment. You know when you're like running
and you think you've done all the laps you're supposed to do,
and then it's like, no, no, you have one more lap.
You're like, no!
And it's like you're not mentally prepared for it.
But that being said, we don't bury it.
It might seem buried because top chef
it does not have as high of an appeal
as other shows.
So it might seem like it's buried, but we intentionally put it on our Friday show because
as it has turned out, our Friday episodes that we have, the shows that we've recapped
that have traditionally aired on our Fridays for us on this podcast have not been as long of a recap.
So we figured this helps fill out the full Friday episode
as a whole.
I think we had, we're doing New Zealand's on Friday,
we have Top Chef on Friday.
I forget what else like once the shows are done,
like I can't remember.
But our thinking was we put the mailbag
on the same episode as one of our shorter recaps to help sort
of round out the whole thing. So it's not meant to be buried and it's certainly not
or are intention to bury it. That's to address that. And I love it. I love the mailbag.
And I like these questions. Like I loved Mike Bowman's question just now about cats on
Brittany and Jack's going to see cats, etc. etc. So we used to do that back.
Yeah and thanks to everybody who supports us on that level and keeps them coming.
Totally open to other ideas. We are not gonna replace the male bag by any
means because we really like it but we're open to other ways, to other ways that we can give back to the
people who support us on Patreon, because that's really important to us.
It really helps our podcasts stay alive and grow and helps us do all sorts of cool things.
So really thank you everyone who has been contributing to the Mailbag.
And if you want to contribute to the Mailbag, you just go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ends And if you support it at the mailbag level or higher
You can write in a question and we keep our promise. We still get to ever we get to every question
You will not we will always get to every question. So
Love you guys wrap her up man. Thanks everyone for contributing. Let's play that, close out that crap and smile back. Alright everyone, I just took a big ol' gulp of coffee.
He thought I was a convention coffee this episode.
Have a wonderful weekend and we'll see y'all on Monday.
Bye everyone.
Bye everybody.
Bye. at 1dry.com slash survey.