Watch What Crappens - TopChef: Flowers, Football, and Failure
Episode Date: February 3, 2018A sudden death quick fire on Top Chef turns a floral challenge into something much less lovely. Then it's time to celebrate the Super Bowl as the surviving chefs are tasked to make tailgating... food for Broncos fans. The results are mixed, but our recap is fully enthusiastic. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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What crap ends, what crap ends Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that
we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from BsetBlock.com and the Bantre Blender podcast joining me on this
spectacularly beautiful Friday, at least here in LA, is my old chum and cohort and fellow
podcaster Ronnie Caram from trash talk tv.com and the Roseprick's bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie?
Oh, hello, babe.
How are you? How are you? How are you?
Hi, hi. I used to be a goat wrangler. I used to wrangle goats. I was too small for the cows.
I love top chef.
I was cracking up at top chef.
I love that the big twist of the season is that girl who smiles too much was a goat wrangler.
Like that changed the whole season for me.
I'm behind her 100%.
Yeah, I'm feeling good about that.
We have made it to the end of a really big week for us.
On Wednesday we had our
crappy awards which were so fun it was so great to not only have our listeners
there but the fact that we some of our friends from the podcasting world or
comedy world or etc. came out and it was great that like everyone got to got
the chill out afterwards. I made a fool of myself with Tiffany Haddish.
That was a real highlight for me. That was a good way to make me feel like an idiot on which
would have been a really spectacular night and I just had such a downward spiral after I took my photo
with Tiffany Haddish. I was like, why did I act like that? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be cool?
Well, we're a podcast, okay. We're not supposed to be cool. We're supposed to be in
Paris and go into a spiral on a show night. I mean this is not normal. I do it every time.
I mean basically for those of you who are wondering we were at the improv and we were doing the
smaller room. We just we just deliberately chose to a really small intimate room. We thought
it'd be fun. And when it was done we went into the improv main sort of like restaurant bar area.
And Tiffany had a she was there because she was doing the late show at the main room and so I
she was there and I just had it in my mind. I've got to take a picture with her.
Like I just have to maybe because I had a beer in me or something but I need to
take a picture because it's too cool. Tiffany had as she's here, it's the same
night as the crappies. She wasn't at the crappies but she's like at the crappies
you know. So I was like I have, I have to take a picture of this.
So I was like, in my mind, I had like a really good line.
I walk up to her and I'm like, excuse me, I'm so sorry to do this, but I feel like I'm wearing a tuxedo
and I just feel like we had to take a photo together.
And she goes, okay, and I was like, in my mind, I thought like my gay charm in the tuxedo
we're gonna do the heavy lifting. I thought she'd be like, yes! And instead she was like, my mind I thought like my gay charm and the tuxedo we're gonna do the heavy lifting I thought she'd be like yes and said she was like okay crazy person
But you're still very sweet, okay, let's do it and then I was and then I was like trying to like recover from that
I was like by the way, I saw you're like eight years ago and you're so funny
I'm really glad for your success. It's like thank you so much. You know, thank you and we took the photo and afterwards
I was like why can't I be more chill in life? Why can't I be cool?
Why can't I be cool?
I like how to fool.
And then Ira, so one of our guest presenters, Ira,
he goes up to her and everything is like,
oh my god, I know one of my friend is one
of the writers on Girls Trip and she's like,
oh cool, and I was like, I'm such an idiot.
I have a friend who's a writer on Girls Trip.
Why didn't I lead with that? Why didn't I lead with the fact that I bought her book for
my boyfriend? I could have led with so many things that I'm like, I'm gonna touch you
that we have to take a photo and I'm in the spiral was huge. And then I was like, listen
Ben, it's okay. Because like, who cares if you were smooth or not smooth and not like
I was gonna become friends with her or anything, you know? And then the next day I repose
the picture. It's like Tiffany had it, it just follows you.
So she started following Iver. I was like, what is wrong with me? What is wrong with my
life? Anyway, great night. Great night. What did I do?
And actually, it was a really fun night. So I just thought it was a funny anecdote.
I didn't take any pictures. I was a lame ass and I only wore my beautiful Chinese jacket
for five seconds. Yeah, right. You want to take it off.
I can't wear too many things in the heat.
I will sweat all over it.
And then what if I have a dance recital or something?
And I need that sparkly jacket.
It's basically a big adult's version of a dance costume.
I used to get dance class when I was a kid.
It's just the adult size.
And I was like, this is very thin.
I don't want to get it sweaty.
I don't want to get myself sweaty.
I should fit people that I could have sparkles,
but I don't need them.
Okay. I had this whole thing in my head.
And then we had so much fun.
And there were so many people there.
But all of our friends,
no, not but,
and all of our friends that we've met over the years,
have such humongous personalities,
seeing them all in that room together,
yapping and laughing their asses off.
It's just, you touched my little heart.
Yeah, it was super fun.
And we also had a proposal, another proposal,
at the crappies, Mina.
Mina, yeah.
One of our biggest fans.
You a hot guy.
And, but the funny thing was, we of course went long
and we had to be, we were basically kicked out of the room at like nine o'clock
Because like a certain you know mega superstar was booked next and you know what?
Who are we? Like we're just the crappies, but here's the thing
They pre-booked us and they post booked us. I was like is this the southwest airline to fight?
What the hell did you got? I got a great ring room. Yes, they kick us off on time.
That's not fair.
Yeah.
So, but either way, for those of you guys who weren't able to be there, we know we did
not do the Facebook Live.
We actually have videos.
So we'll put that up later next week.
But we are going to put the audio from the show up on Monday because there's
no real housewives of Atlanta on Sunday because of the Super Bowl.
So that audio is going to go up on Monday and the funny thing is that the live show, we
did every category except for worst Bravo show and best Bravo show.
You know, only like the major ones, super major ones.
So we will address those categories on Monday's
show so looking forward to that.
Oh, just.
Yeah.
Monday's bonus episode.
Yeah.
Monday's main show because we don't have Atlanta.
There's no main there's no main show for Atlanta.
Oh, I thought you were I thought you just said we were going to put the crappies there.
That's what I'm saying the crappies are going to be there.
Oh, so we're just going to record extras after what we're going to put the crappies there. That's what I'm saying. The crappies are going to be there. Oh, so we're just going to record extras after what we have. Yeah, I think we'll just add like a little
something, right? Oh, okay. Like this. See, this is it. Well, we're recording. Yeah, I mean,
why not, right? Like, why not finish the actual award show that we start that we're going to do it
as our bonus, bonus. Well, we Well, we only have two categories to do.
So.
Oh, that's it.
I thought we skipped a bunch.
I think you were really nervous
that we were,
because you said to me,
you go, Ben, during the show, you go, Ben,
let's just like skip to the categories that have guests
on them because we're running out of time.
I was like, okay,
and like the only categories that were left
were the ones that had guests on them
and then like the two last ones.
So I think somehow you thought there were more categories
than there were.
So it really is not, we only missed out
on the last two categories.
Oh, well there you go.
See?
Easy, yeah.
There you go.
Well girl, when they start giving me a red light,
they don't even have a red light in that room.
And you know, my ass will get a red light
and go on for an hour anyway.
It's not that I normally care, but they hate you when you do that.
Well, and so they didn't have a red light. So she kept giving me this like musical theater,
like glitter hands, but then like, I don't see it at all. It's so funny. I didn't see it at all.
But I, but I was checking my watch. I kept on checking. I was like, I was like, oh my god,
we have eight minutes left and we have to do like in memoriam, best bravo, liberty, a proposal.
And I was like, in my mind, I was like, we'll just skip worst show. And we'll just do like in memoriam best bravo liberty a proposal and I was like in my mind
I was like we'll just skip worst show and we'll just do bass. I said we got this I was like
please everyone come up here and don't banter with us don't banter but of course how can
you not?
Of course that's the whole point the whole point darling speaking of let me wander some
top chefery shop top chefery there's still business to do, you know.
So, uh, there's no shit to cook people. Okay, you better watch those match-o's.
Exactly. So this week's episode, uh, picks up in the wake of restaurant
wars where Joe Flam, make it the more Jonah Hillish Joe,
not the handlebar mustache Joe, is feeling proud of himself for
winning restaurant wars and
making saying stupid things like I think I'm really I think I'm really getting the handle on this
show. I think I really hit my stride. I know things you say before your foot falls off.
He actually said I want the Olympics and I was like only on this show would fat Joe say I want
the Olympics. You know this show gives Shelby people chances that we would never get in real life. So thank you Top Chef.
Yeah, and meanwhile, handlebar mustache is on the phone with like his girlfriend or something.
And he goes, you know, he's like, he's telling her he goes, I was feeling really burnt out,
but then I changed my, change up my crystal configuration and yesterday was really good.
I was like, I can't. Of course that's God. Of course that's his girlfriend. And then he shows her and she's like some it be. She's like
the moon is in the seventh house and she put her alliance with Mars. I'm like, okay, now you're just
now you're just doing words from hair. Okay. Okay. They can be with your fake hipster boy friends.
Like I can deal, I really can't deal, but I can barely tolerate a handlebar mustache,
but what I can't deal with is realigning crystals
to do better on top, Chef.
Okay, you gotta have one or the other.
You're either into the crystals or the mustache,
but you cannot have a handlebar mustache
and a crystal configuration.
I'm sorry, it's not allowed.
Look, even though I have to admit, I have a crystal thing.
Okay, I have since I was a teenager,
I need some flake, I got into it, I have a crystal thing, okay? I have since I was a teenager, I need some flake,
I got into it, I will buy them everywhere I go,
I bought them in Palm Springs at that sound bath thing,
I mean, I buy them everywhere I go,
I'm like, my life is about to change.
Okay, if I have that in a hand-up arm mustache, yeah.
Just fucking kill, okay?
Yeah, you're only allowed to have one, you know?
You can be a center, but you can, like look, manslaughter, that's not
good.
I mean, nobody loves it, but it's not like it was totally on purpose, but if you just
keep people running people over, you're a serial killer.
You know what I mean?
There's like a difference.
There's shades in the law, you guys.
It's like wearing a shirt that says Versace and then a hat that says Armani.
It's too many logos.
You have one logo that's gonna be your look,
that's gonna be your show piece,
and then the rest is there to support it.
But if you have like two logos, that's too much.
Yeah, too much.
And then you walk out and you have like a Chanel belt
and like it's just, it's a lot.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, in other news, Bruce is thinking about his son guys.
You guys, Bruce had a baby.
Yeah, Bruce had a baby.
It is the craziest thing.
It was the craziest, craziest thing.
He's like, my baby motivates me to leave just like every other damn baby
is supposed to motivate parents to do new babies motivate you to leave.
Okay.
Leave, leave.
He literally said the lines on the beginning of the show, I'm being so mean about them and I'm sorry,
but he said, this is really starting to weigh on me now.
I was like, now, that's like me when I gained like 70 pounds
and then I gained 72 pounds and I'm like, oh my God,
did I gain weight?
Yes.
Now it's starting to weigh on you.
Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, agreed.
So the chefs all assemble at the kitchen as time for the quick fire,
where today's guest is David Kinch of the restaurant, Manresa. Manresa. I only know this
restaurant because they had a cookbook. He came out of the cookbook about three or four
years ago with very beautiful pictures, and it was famous for beautiful pictures, but
the recipes were like crazy. I'm like I'm not I've never even touched it.
It just gives you a chance to know my thoughts on manry says yeah, he looked extremely snotty at first me.
I wrote assholes smart. He looks like one of the guys from New Heart, you know like my brother,
my brother and my other brother Darrell. It looks like one of those guys, but played by John
Trabolt, like it's weird. Yeah, no, it's like a weird company. It was like one of those guys but played by John Travolta. Like, it's weird. Yeah. Like, they're playing. No, it's like a weird company.
It was like, if someone decided to adapt face-off to the universe of New Heart, they
extended New Heart universe, but still kept an original cast of face-off, that's what's
going on.
It's like, John Travolta is New Heart, but it's a face-off.
Yeah.
He's been taking off. He's killed CCH Pounder,
and now he's snuck into the body of like one of the brothers,
and Nicholas Cage is in Bob Newhart's body.
And I don't know who Suzanne Plashette is. Maybe that's Gina Gershon.
Um, I don't know, but his little twinkle eyes.
I was like, he has twinkles in his eyes, but an asshole's smart.
He's terrifying. He's like Robin. Um,
he's like
Mark, what's his name for Mark and Mindy? He's dead now. Sorry Robin Williams. Yeah, he's like Robin Williams in one hour photo
He'll like he's so nice, but then when he turns evil, you're like, oh my god. He's a killer
So anyway, I just like Chris and I don't know yeah, just random judgments to a person
I don't know and have no opinion about so the weed juice like well the guy from New
Heart light by John Travolta is eating in my restaurant quince four times but this is
way scarier than that like oh quince I hate that name of course you're a quince of course
you're an app you're like a hard apple that's like we didn't have yeah of course you're
like a fruit that pops up in random recipes and then you can't
really find it anywhere but you feel like you should be able to because it's like it's
common enough that you know about quince's but then you go to the store and you're like,
well where's a quince?
You can't find a quince.
I show you like an apple but that's going to be too sweet.
Do I get a pear?
Not quite.
Like, what do I do?
I hate you, quince.
Yes, quince is a hipster fruit.
You asshole. You hipster fruit, Luigi. Yeah you Quince. Yes Quince is a hipster fruit. You asshole you hipster fruit Luigi. Yeah
Quince
So, for me, I yeah, hello chefs look flowers
Today's challenge will be all about edible flowers and we're talking about the ones that are truly edible
Not the ones that gale eats a gay anything
not the one that Gail eats, aka anything. Oh, I want Saurawak into an FDD and left it place and just stems and leaves.
They came up with the name edible flowers whenale, I want to hear a song from the
audience.
Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the
audience.
Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the
audience.
Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the
audience.
Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the
audience.
Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the audience. Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the audience. Poor Gale, I want to hear a song from the because she keeps eating all the edible flour. Hahaha. Get her a glass of water, chefs.
I've never seen Gail more disappointed when she found
that the dandelions were really weeds.
Oh my goodness, the amount that she ate that day.
Poor girl, bless her heart.
So someone told Padma, Padma, you know, it's mid season,
you're probably drunk or high right now.
Trying to have some emotion, you know, and's mid season, you're probably drunk or high right now. Trying to have some emotion, you know, and she's like, okay, chefs, this round will be
sudden death and the loser headcock, sad face will be eliminated.
I was like, okay, now you're just using your please pack your knives and go tone.
And it doesn't work here.
Badmout, okay.
Just keep making gale jokes.
Padma's like, is now the time I should put my hand up on my upper chest area out of
sympathy?
No?
Okay.
So, they all started getting to work, cooking something that involves edible flowers.
And Bruce tells us that he's making a bucatini, which he's like, it's a fat noodle with a whole
going through it.
It's actually my spirit noodle.
Like why are you making me?
Why are you making Quinn's handlebar, a crystal guy look better than you right now?
No kidding.
Like you're sure you get,
you're sure you get just like became unpregnant.
Yeah.
Unpregnant issue good for your future children.
Okay. You've even grossed at your surrogate is what I'm saying.. It's unpregnant issue, because for your future children, okay?
You've even grossed at your surrogate,
is what I'm saying.
And let's not forget that last week,
Bruce was wearing a t-shirt that said,
Portetta about it.
Did you see that?
No.
It was a t-shirt that said,
Portetta about it.
Like, forget about it,
but Portetta, because I'm a chef.
Oh, yeah, I don't think that really works.
Yeah, Portetta about it.
It doesn't, and it's annoying.
Portetta about it. You see,
you said about it. Yeah,
it's like, Hey, I'm from New York.
I said about it.
You could have actually just said,
forget about it, which is what I would like to do.
No, now I can't. Now I'm like mad at
Bruce's t-shirt.
Next week will be like something annoying about pork belly.
I don't know what it will be.
It'll be like pork belly about pork belly. I don't know what it will be. It'll be like pork.
Belly is my favorite. I don't know. I'm not a good t-shirt maker.
So Amish, Chris, is making Tata, sea bass, and scallops with flowers. Sounds delicious.
Yeah. And Bruce has an important update, guys.
I'm making cavatelli after all. Great, great. Thanks. Yeah, I fucked up my spirit noodle.
So I'm just going to change through a mediocre, a mediocre pasta. The spirit noodle is like,
I refuse to be part of this relationship. I'm just not going to come out of the pasta press.
I'm just not gonna come out of the pasta press. I'm a word anyway. I'm basically a pasta worm.
Um, yeah. And also another big news. Bruce still hasn't watched or combed his hair this entire time.
No.
Okay, so someone's making a, oh, I wrote Fatima, right?
Because I say Fat Joe and then Fatima. And so now I've just got fat for two short names,
which is so rude really for both
nicknames so sorry guys but mustard broccoli and lamb chops um let me see oh so carry the smileer
oh well I'm local and one thing we really like is fancy toast and to other cities called it fancy
toast and local toast is a vessel sub-bassle, okay?
Tows to sub-bassle to not overpower the flower.
Which one?
Which we love doing here.
Could they be that in your city?
I'm a local.
Local toast.
I liked her idea for fancy toast.
And in fact, earlier today, I had some avocado toast
that I was feeling like I myself was a slice of fancy toast.
But everyone was like, she's making toast. I'm like what the fuck is wrong with it?
Like that. Of course. She's allowed to make toast lettermaker toast sounds delicious. What's wrong with it?
Luigi's like good. Oh, step. Why?
He's all mad and then he's like me and my girlfriend forged for flowers, you know like zucchini flowers and stuff
But not where it's illegal, wink,
wink, we're totally foraging illegally, wink, wink. You're the kind of hippies I want to see
go to jail over foraging for the zucchini flowers in a arc where it's illegal, okay?
Yeah, and they have like a picture of him by the Golden Gate, the Golden Gate Bridge,
like picking up a buttercup or something. And it's like, you know what? Like, okay,
so handle bar massage, crystal configurations, restaurant called Quint and your
forage. I know. How did you get closer than that handle bar mustache? How is that even possible,
sir? And I actually like his personality. He seems like a really lovely guy. But these
elements are just getting in the way. They have to be edited out. It's just too annoying,
too affected. Yeah, it's just too annoying to affected
Yeah, it's trying too hard to be noticeable when you're already noticeable you're talented I guess one maybe not I mean the jury's out on that but this is yeah, it's yeah exactly
Cuz Maria was your brother. I know it's hard to live in that shadow Luigi
Well, you know the other thing is sorry. Yes. No, that that was it
But that's your life deal with it. And by yes. No, that was it, but that's your life.
Well, and by the way, of note, he was making,
he was stuffing a squash blossom,
and he was making a dumpling out of it.
I'm like, you know, he's made a lot of dumplings recently,
and that's even made a joke about it.
He's like, bringing back the D word.
I'm like, that's funny, but it's like a lot of dumplings.
It's a lot.
It is, and also a stuffed squash blossom is a stuffed squash blossom. So like like you can call it a dumpling, but it's a stuffed squash blossom. And those
already have names. And that is stuffed squash blossom. Yeah. And he chose not to fry it
because he's like, you'll ruin the flavor of the squash blossom. So he's like, I don't
know what he did to it. He steamed it or something. I don't know. But I think it's fried for
a reason because it gets crispy and nice, right? Yes, which he kind of missed, I think.
So, LeBernard and Dan, it's like Seared Scalap Carpacio
with water-meda and radish, radish,
brosum, brosum, brosum, she's the half of the pot.
LeBernard, ah!
Well, I've really learned that I,
LeBernard and Dan, I can really do a good Seared Scalap,
very well, so your scalp Carpacio,
what we have here is Seared Scalap Carpacio
with a side of oil and some knife cuts
And then you sound just like her as funny. Well, I really she has like total dork voice, you know Which I find actually kind of endearing she's like oh, it's not that uh, you know
It's not that I don't like the other people. I just really like Joe flamm a lot
Sorry, there are excited. Sorry
And I actually like this girl. I thought she was gonna, LeBrona Dan every five seconds and she stopped.
She has stopped.
She's now moved on to Red Rooster and Marcus Emelson,
which I think is nice and not a diversity.
Yeah, she's like taking a nice spin around her entire resume
and not just making it all one thing.
So Joe Flam, we already talked.
They carried it her fancy toast and
complimented the mustard.
But I love that she did fancy toast and Fadina goes.
What makes it fancy?
I mean, it's just like red flowers on it.
I don't get it.
Local, local, local fancy, circle fancy.
I don't know.
What do you call it where you're from?
So Joseph did a roasted radish salad.
So he roasted the radishes in a pizza oven and he only did it for five minutes which
is probably not.
I guess that sort of looks like that.
Left the radishes in that in between state of like not being as sharp and crisp as fresh
but not being caramelized from like a roast.
So that's not that's not play well.
In fact Padma goes, how long did you roast the radishes for Joe?
Feel a little
Blan it's a little half-assed effort if you ask me it's like watching it's like watching gal get through a pack of
Oscar-mire
ham
Just sort of goes halfway before she moves on to the doughnuts. Bless her heart
Wow something half-cooked coming out of a pizza oven.
Is it bikini season, Gail?
Yeah.
So Bruce gives, he's like, look, it's Cavitali,
my second spirit noodle.
I mean, you know, I have a baby.
And Padma goes pasta again.
And he's like, well, I was going to do my spirit noodle.
And she's like, it's still pasta.
And then she walks off and she goes,
you guys are killing me with this pasta
and Palentin now killing me.
It's not about the pasta.
Pasta is really having a moment, I'm bravo.
I have to say it's a really, really moment.
Pasta is winning the world right now.
Yeah, I love like Bruce's, yeah,
how defeated he looks when she's like,
I look at me, I'm a model,
I can't eat this much pasta, Bruce.
I'm trying to make me fat just because I'm wearing
elastic Bruce, it's a hippie day.
He's like, well, pasta is my comfort zone.
She's like, no kidding, Bruce, really.
Bruce, you should know.
Bruce, next time we'll set in Gail Simmons
and you can make her a spirit noodle.
Lasagna.
She just eats the dried ones, like, like, dodges.
Ugh.
So judging, the faves are...
Fatima...
Fatima starts jumping up and down, like Padma just took off for a shirt.
She's like, I really enjoyed how you used flower.
It has a flowers as a rub fancy toast.
I don't really get it.
The guest is like, lavender is really hard because it smells like your grandma.
She's like, I know, that's what I said.
So on the bottom three are it's Joe Flam for his semi-roasted
Rattish's Chris for his Seabass and Seattle Tartar. It is sort of a weird combination there and
Mustache for his swash blossom and since it's a
sudden death quickfire this means that they all have to
Cook again for their life and so goes, we can't make this decision
without your head judge Tom Calicchio.
And the door's open and Tom comes in wheeling
this giant thing of cauliflower.
Oh, excuse me.
He's like, all right, hold on a second.
Come here with a cauliflower.
Easy there, I think the back wheel, maybe a little stiff.
I have to do maybe a figure eight to get in here.
Here we are, some cauliflower. Yep.
Caution, there's a cauliflower on this cart. Caution, cauliflower, get it?
Oh, come on, Chef. Yep, here I am.
Inchefs, cauliflower has been a vegetable that people have not been paying attention to,
but lately people really like it a lot. And people have been using it in a place of other
things. So your challenge is to use cauliflower as substitute for something else that would normally be there.
Okay, yeah.
For, you know, cauliflower is making a huge comeback.
I was like, whoa.
So why are you adding a Trump huge in there?
It's weird, because he's saying huge.
Like I don't know that you need that.
Put that to the side, please sir.
Okay, let's not mix politics with our cauliflower, okay?
And Padma is like,
Gail, I love this purple look you're going for.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were substituting cauliflower for things.
Look, Gail finally has an action figure.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
So Luigi's like,
I'm gonna make it, but a buffalo cauliflower!
Woohoo!
If Gary can win with toast, I'm like, come on now.
Now, he's just dissing Carrie's toast.
Carrie meets you a lot, sir.
Yeah, so I would just keep my mouth shut.
I don't remember when you made something good the last time.
Well, wait, it was like last week, right?
No, it was, was it restaurant wars?
No, no, it was during Olympics.
I think he wasn't so good at restaurant wars.
He said, your dumpling is like impossible to eat.
I can't even chew your dumpling Joe.
Um, it's like when Gail's taking a dumb lane.
Luigi, this must, this is must be what it's like when, when Gail
chews on walrus meat.
I don't know.
So, uh, no, but, um, uh, but he does that annoying thing where he's like,
he's like, you know what, I'm gonna cook the food that I wanna make.
I've done too much like trying to cook with the judges
want, I'm a cook with I wanna make like, okay,
we're sick of that old cliche.
You've been cooking what you've wanted this entire time.
Don't act like, oh, you've been put upon by the judges.
These have all been your ideas.
Yeah, so he's gonna make Buffalo cauliflower. It, basically, that's at the veggie grill.
You know, just kind of a fast food being in place. I shut up.
Yeah. Uh, and it's like, well, it's not going to be pedestrian because I've decided to smoke
it in a woodfire oven. Woo-hoo. Which is weird. I don't get why you would do that with a buffalo,
whatever. Um, Joe. Make any sense. Yeah, soggy cauliflower sounds delicious. Yeah, Joe
Flam is he's gonna do a cauliflower risotto which is a pretty I think common
use of cauliflower. You know, like this cauliflower rice, etc. And so mustache is
like well what he doesn't know is that man Ressa dude has a cauliflower
risotto on his menu. So he's gonna get screwed. So I was like fuck you
Mustache because on top of all these things you're sneaky. No
Yeah, well people with mustaches like that are never not sneaky
I mean you're literally copying the mustache from the dude who ties a girl down with the train tracks literally
Yeah, yeah, of course he's sneaky
But none of them really did a great,
none of them had a really great idea for this. Amish was making caponetta and he's using
cauliflower set of eggplant, which is basically it's just a bunch of vegetables, you know.
I feel like there could have been, I don't know, it seemed like there were some really interesting options that they could
have gone to and they didn't, you know, they could have done, they could have done something
almost like Indian with the cauliflower, that would have been good.
Oh my goodness.
There's someone on the door.
Yeah, you know what?
Oh, okay, go for it.
Okay, sorry, sorry everyone.
Oh, of course, go for it.
Did you mean to take a commercial break right now?
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Anyway, door situation has been remedied.
What we talk about, cauliflower, Indian food, something like that.
Yes, cauliflower.
They basically made a bunch of vegetarian options
that everybody knows, who's ever been on the diet
for more than five seconds.
Yeah.
And I was kind of disappointed because these are some pretty
decent chefs that were in the sudden death cook off.
And Fat Joe, I mean, come on, Joe, I know you've been on
the diet at least for a week where you had to make this
cauliflower rice bullshit.
Yeah.
You didn't even rice it.
All you have to do is put it in the food process or
the draw.
Literally.
I did pee rice it. He cut it up into little chunks, which is not even close to looking like
risotto. So why would you call it that?
Or why don't you make like a cauliflower couscous?
You know, like why don't you do the risotto?
Risotto is like why are you setting yourself up for that?
Like, I mean, you could have done risotto and he did.
But like why? When you could have done like, you could have done a really lovely
couscous, I feel like, which may be simple, but it's, you know,
hey, it would be the same thing.
It would be the same thing.
I mean, it would look the same thing,
but it at least has a better name
and you would have,
but it in a food processor, what the hell?
Even I know that.
Or I know sometimes on these recaps, it sounds like,
oh, such a professional chef.
It's not that, it's just,
I like cooking even as a hobby.
And I still can't believe some of the shit
they pull on this show.
Yeah, or like, there's some really interesting recipes.
I think I made one.
I think Watts's face, Yodam Odelengi.
He has some recipes where you take the cauliflower
and you do thick wedges of it, you know,
and then you like roast it or grill it or whatever,
but you could have done like a grilled like maybe a sub-suit for swordfish maybe, and be like a cauliflower with some sort of like Mediterranean, like olive tomato, which is sort of like those like steaks.
Yeah, like you can make those like steaks, they taste delicious.
Yeah, yeah, I mean cauliflower or just do a soup with something with cauliflower. You can make a cauliflower soup very quickly
and it is delicious.
Cauliflower with chowda, if you will.
Oh, see that's actually really clever, Rodding.
That would actually work well.
We love a white soup.
That would actually work our chowder in Boston.
A cauliflower, a cauliflower hummus of some sort, you know.
You see, we win, okay, let's go home.
We did it.
We did it. Annual crappy for people that aren't actually cooking but still went top shop for us.
So Tom is not happy. He's like, oh, well, they're liking flavor and they're liking finesse. I gotta say I'm pretty disappointed.
Yeah, Tom was not having it today. I think they tied his mom jeans too tight because he was not happy for this entire episode.
Yeah, and I think they tied his mom jeans to tight because he was not happy for this entire episode. And Fat Joe's like, well, I used real rice
so you'd get the rice flavor,
but then I removed it.
What?
And that's when Luigi tells him,
you know that guy does that dish right.
He's like, oh, thanks for telling me.
Yeah, he tells him they're right there.
Like, it's so obnoxious.
So obnoxious.
So the bottoms, there was a tie in the bottoms.
It was Luigi and Fat Joe and Padmas like tie breaker
Sorry, Fat Joe, you'd look too much like Gills in herself
She goes leave please there was one for me. That was not reminiscent at all of the original inspiration
Fatter Joe
I'm sorry. Fatter Joe.
You might as well have just thrown a tambourine in a pot and covered it with water at this point.
I mean, Gal would have eaten it.
Bless her heart. She doesn't have much sanders.
But that to not resemble a risotto to me at all.
Oh my God, so good.
And so, uh, it was shocking.
I'm sorry.
I mean, it was shocking.
You know, he's so sad.
It's because Luigi's fucked up so many times.
Yeah.
And Luigi, that he just keeps staying.
It's like your buffalo cauliflower
stayed. There's smoked weird buffalo cauliflower. When he took it out of the...
His biggest criticism was that it was all too soft and mushy. And he goes, it turns out
to smoking. Get pre-cooked. Woohoo! Yeah, what a thought. Who'd have thought you idiot?
Not long it takes to cook cauliflower in like a pan that doesn't take that long
Yeah, how could you keep that guy so frustrating? I know and then you know the burn it down was really sad because she was like
Well, you know, it's it's not that I don't like the other guys. It's just I was really rooting on Joe
I just like a more home. You know, so um, so and
The team was like
So, um, so and The team was like,
Oh,
Oh,
Oh,
It's like losing it.
She's like, I cannot believe they sent home such an exceptional chef.
I was convinced we would better to touch in the finals.
And I was like, uh-oh.
And then this is where Pat,
This is where Pat puts her hand on her chest like,
I am exuding empathy and sympathy right now.
Or I want to pepper grinder. You decide. My eyes are extra
wide at this moment to show sadness. Also, I'm hoping that the air will cause them to
tear up. Please welcome barbecue master, Adam Perry Lang, otherwise known as the man that Gail's Gail holds on to
every time he leaves crying for her mommy Gail or Gail wasn't even in this episode
yeah no she wasn't she wasn't but her presence has always felt Adam Perry Lang
whose restaurant actually almost went bankrupt after G gal robbed of wet maps. The man who stopped using flour because
gal kept sneaking in the every night into the kitchen eating it all with her bare hands. Adam
Perry laying. So Adam Perry laying if I'm not mistaken, he runs Franklin barbecue in Austin,
right? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, I think he does, which is faint world famous because the lines are like three and a half hours long to get your barbecue
He's he's a really really well-known guy and so he comes out and Bruce is like
Adam Perry Lang is a brilliant pit master and a really good friend of mine
I I know another judge. I'm like, yeah, that's the thing. It's really annoying like you're a ringer
You shouldn't be in this you should be on top chef masters
Yeah, and then he does that thing where like he wins something is like, I know another judge.
Like a little like proud snort, but like try to be self deprecating like, oh gosh.
So the, the task is that they're going to, they're going to split into three groups of two.
And they're going to be cooking super bowl food for 300 fans at the Broncos fans, etc.
So, since Terry won with fancy toast, whatever that means, she'll be picking the teams.
So she takes Amish as her teammate and puts together the other teams.
It's LeBernadana, Luigi, and then Bruce and Fatima.
Yes.
Fatima wants to do nachos.
She's like, I don't know what football really is, but I'm just gonna do nachos.
Embrace is like, huh, she's doing nachos
and she's gonna do some sort of,
she wants to use lentils instead of beans,
like basically put like a Pakistani touch on it.
He's like, it's really cool,
but I just don't know how my food fits into it.
I'm like, wake up at Cavattelli on the nachos, maybe.
I don't know.
Yeah, no kidding.
Do you have a rigatoni idea for the nachos, sir?
Also, have you never seen nachos?
Have you never seen nachos?
The whole point of nachos, you just put whatever you want on them.
Right?
More or less, Kat, there's obviously certain guidelines.
It's not that hard to fuse two ideas into nachos.
So she wants to use lentils, and you could add in,
as they said, later on, why don't you
stake nacho?
It's not that hard.
Well, one of the biggest downfalls of her edition
ended up being, and no one said it,
but you could see it if you're looking at the dish,
the chips, the biggest thing about nachos are chips, okay?
Now, I know it's gonna be hard to fry all of your own chips
for 300 people.
I get that, but those look like some Trader Joe's blue corn chips, which are shit and they fall apart in two seconds and it's going to ruin everything
if you don't have the right chip, you know. And Bruce actually said about the nachos, he goes,
I don't know how I can fit myself into that. I'm like, well, you got jeans on, so make an effort.
I'm sure you can figure nachos out. Yeah, nachos is really not the biggest challenge and I actually kind of feel like
he
I feel like he kind of like hung her out to dry because she doesn't really this is not her comfort zone
This is you know, she doesn't know football
Everyone was like these nachos are not right like he should have been able to see that they were not right.
He was like, oh no, they're really good notches.
I don't, they clearly were not good notches.
Well, I think it was like, it's not the first time
that he's tried to do that where he's like,
tried to undermine somebody.
He did it last week with Fat Joe in restaurant wars
when he was like, oh, you know,
I really wanted him to expedite this
or have seen this way, this way
because otherwise we're getting slammed. And so if we get in trouble, that's his fault. You know, it's like kind
of pre-setting up everybody he's working with to fail in the end in case he gets out of that.
Yeah. He's like, I'm gonna do a really good stake. And you know, later on when they're like,
why don't you just make a stake nacho? It's not that hard? I feel like he didn't want his steak in a nacho.
I think he wanted a shine.
And he's like, well, and if her nachos are bad
then they're bad, but I'm gonna shine right now.
I think there was just like,
there was something a little selfish about it
because it was a very easy, obvious play
to just make steak nachos.
Right.
Like, it's not that important
to inject your personality into it.
So you're like, look, out of everybody here, you eat nachos.
You could say it's about the chips.
You need stronger chips.
You need, like, you're a team, dude.
Yeah.
So now, Adrian, so I like Adrian, as we mentioned before, we actually do like her and
I like her.
But I feel like she always does dumb things.
Like she constantly is like doing something and it's like Adrian, I feel like you're better than this,
but you're constantly, your judgment is so strange.
So she's like, well, I decided that I'm gonna do ribs.
You know, and even though Adam Perry Lang
is sort of like the best pit master in America,
I worked on the Marcus Amielson,
so I'm like pretty confident with being able to do ribs.
I mean, even though I won't have access
to a smoke or anything,
and there won't be enough time to really make them tender, but I think I could do it
It's like, what are you why why do you set yourself up?
Hi, and then she doesn't need to get the ribs that she's supposed to she's like, well,
Be back ribs or more tender those would be the those are the good ones
But you know, say those ones are on sale. So let me get those
Why a trip? Come on and then Luigi is with her and he's gonna make Slaw and Fried Mac and Cheeseballs,
which, you know, I love those at Fred's Sixty-Choose,
to fry mac and cheeseballs, but, you know,
you gotta know how to do that.
Yeah, stupid.
Stupid.
That's not that hard.
You make mac and cheese, you refrigerate it,
so it's freezing cold, and then you batter it, and fry it.
Even I know how to do that Luigi come on
So then um, so at this point I think I was well, I mean
Fautama's my favorite and then Kerry is actually going to be my favorite too
Even though she's always so cheery
Kerry is my favorite now. She's like
By far by far my favorite right now. Yeah. Well Fautama about my favorite but now she's cracking me up with all of her stories.
Like so they're doing the super bowl thing, right? So she's like, well, you know,
I'm pretty sporty. Huh? I played softball basketball. I barrel raised and
got tied in the rodeo. I was too little gal wrangle, but yeah, that was me.
Brody Yucca. And then they showed this picture of her as a kid on a horse.
And it's just so cute.
And I love that it's open now that nobody believes in her
and they all think she's some kind of dorky hack.
And it's because of the smile I'm telling.
It's never smile like that people.
I've learned my lesson.
Well, she also was not so good in the first episode or two.
So people just sort of wrote her off as just like, oh,
they picked her because she's local. That's it.
But no, now she's killing it and she and Chris are planning to do some sort of elevated
Poutine and so Tom and Adam Perry Land come by to check out, do their like walk through and I was like, huh?
You need Kurt's, you're gonna do it without Kurt's, you can't do Kurt's, but you're a Poutine. I was like, oh no.
Oh no, they're going astray and I got like very nervous that they were gonna get in trouble.
Yeah, yeah, because she didn't, she just gave a big crazy smile back I was like, oh no, oh no, they're going astray. And I got like very nervous that they were going to get in trouble.
Yeah.
Yeah, because she didn't, she just gave a big crazy smile back. And I was like, oh no, she's not going to listen.
So then Tom and the guests go over to Luigi.
And he's like, whoa, you were this close, huh?
Did you look, you're still here?
What?
Look at you.
Uh, still going along your mustache isn't even frowning.
That's weird.
I'd be ashamed.
What did you do in here?
Hey, did you, uh, did you try that cauliflower you served us before?
Uh, that was like whack. That's like whack.
That was whack by the, uh, okay. Okay. Well, you've met, uh, you've met young street Tom.
So I'll be moving on now.
Wack. Uh, at a very language, we introduced everyone. Uh, this Bruce, he is my friend and
your friend. So he'll do well.
This person over here has made some terrible decisions.
You should try to scull a flower. It was really horrific.
They're not doing curds. They're doing badly.
And then there's Fatima. I don't know what she's doing.
She's making a pile of tassidos and putting some sort of strange grace stuff in between.
I don't know what it is. Anyway, let's go.
Whatever. Have I mentioned Black?
Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black. Black.
You're trying to go pop a cap and a pig's ass
Okay, yeah, right that was back. Okay, I'm sure enough at the end of the day as they're like sealing up all their food
And you're like well, um, I'm finding that my ribs are not as tender as I want them to be
I'm like well no shit sure a lot you got like the wrong ribs
You only had an hour to do it. You didn't smoke them
What what what did you expect was cap Adrian? And you're doing this for
like a top group, like, got top pit master, Adrian, I just want to shake you, make something,
make something lovely. Well, this is the part of the season that I love because it's the,
you know, the best chefs left and everybody is so cocky. And so they just assume people like her,
people like, um, carry people, the people that Arnest show,
we are like, oh yeah,
this chef and that chef,
and I'm from here, not in this.
I've got this wood, I've got that one.
They just assumed that they're all going to be the ones to win.
And they are also letting their color show just how they
rib each other,
that they're sitting at the house.
And for team, it's like, look around.
Only one of us is going to make it to the end and
Luigi's like and Carrie is blowing my mind and she goes yeah, Carrie has put us in a trance
She sneezes and she wins
He's like don't judge a book by her horse smile
And they're just like basically laughing at Carrie's face about how she just like
Barfs up toast and then wins. Yeah, that's right. I mean local. I mean fancy. What do you call it?
What do you call it? I don't know. I'm stuffing all that money. It's true.
Yeah. It's like whatever. She's winning. So there you go. So then the next day it's time for the
big challenge. They play some football in the yard. I have to say by the way I really don't like
their building that they're in because it has that faux French, it's not an awning, it's like an overhang, there's a, you know,
that word for it, it's like an art nouveau sort of shade
that's when you walk out that front door,
I'm like, you're not in Paris, sir.
And by sir, I'm referring to you building,
you're not in Paris.
All right, stop trying to be.
I'm the Paris baby.
You're in Denver, okay.
Look more like a log cap and don't give me
an art nouveau awning. I don't, I'm not here for that. I don't want these art nouveau in Denver, okay? Look more like a log cabin. Don't give me an art newvo awning.
I'm not here for that.
Don't win these art newvo in Denver, okay?
Comment down over there building.
I want some logs and some cabins.
Yes, exactly.
So then they all go to the stadium, the Sports Authority Stadium of Denver, Colorado.
And all the fans start showing up and right away the Luigi's Mac and
Cheese ball, Fried Mac and Cheese ball cube, whatever's this problems, this problems with
them, they're not finding any Chris.
Yeah, I don't know how to make it.
So he does something that I'm not sure, I think this was Richard Blaze who did this.
But one of the seasons they were someone had to make a huge mac and cheese for like 300
gas or something and it wasn't the proper consistency so they put cornstarch in it and
one.
And I was like, of course Richard Blaze wins with fucking cornstarch mac and cheese.
It was, I'm not sure if it was him because it was, I think it was more recent than that.
But when I saw Luigi do it, I was like, he's going to fucking up,
even using something that helped someone in wait, someone win using this method last time.
Yeah. Well, because he couldn't get, I guess they weren't sticking together and they weren't
crispy and there was like, was there no batter on them? I'm not sure. But he was really
the batter wasn't, the batter wasn't working. So he just covered them in cornstarch and
refried them. Yeah. Yeah, so he was struggling with that.
Meanwhile, there was a whole big presentation
because the mayor of Denver showed up
and so he announced there would be like top chef day
and Denver or something,
and it would be like a street called Padma Street
or something, like a very narrow street
that only certain people were allowed to go down.
And there'll be signs on it, like,
did you mean to turn here?
Do you mean to be driving down my street right now?
I'm sorry, Gail.
You'll need a permit to park here.
That's all the signs I'm asking.
That's all the signs I'm asking.
The picture instead of a deer is just
Gail dragging her knuckles on the ground.
Gail at work drive slowly. Gale at work in parentheses on a hamburger.
Yield. Gale. I said yield. There's no buffet here. You can slow down. Gale.
The sign just has that all written out. People are like, huh? What? Oh, so funny.
So, um...
So, so they're all gathering and there's a one of the guest judges is, I forget her name,
but she owns a restaurant called, like, Rioja in Denver and Padma turns her goes,
So, I heard you're a really big Denver Broncos fan.
What's that like enjoying something so simplistic?
What's it like being a white lady with a name of a Spanish restaurant who enjoys football?
You know, I always welcome pedestrians on Padmas Street.
I can tell you must really enjoy the tailgating experience.
All those hot dogs.
Have you met Gail Simmons yet?
So, uh, yes, and this lady also carries nose.
Carries like, hi, remember me, I'm local.
And she's like, yes, I sure do carry.
You still got that smile, huh?
Yeah, I've read up on my guns, but I've still got it. She's like it she's like good for you and then Carrie tells us that lady was like my mom
she took care of me she taught me about food in life too she birthed me even
so the judges are tasting they taste the poutine and they really like it a lot
they're very pro poutine and then Padma goes up to Bruce, Bruce's station and she's like, oh, Bruce, I'm glad you're not making pasta.
Well, the guest judge goes, I'm used to Bruce because of his pasta.
Bruce goes, yeah, Padma's used to my pasta too. And she says, yes, thank you.
I'm glad you're not doing pasta again.
Are you sure there's no bookatini inside this steak?
Just want to make sure.
So he makes, you know, his meat.
And then for team of snotchos, she's like, there's a lot of stuff on the nachos. They're muddled. I think for team is not just have a lot of
Stuff on them, you know, it's like when you see gale simons coming out of raw stress for less
It's like gale. Do you need all that stuff in your car?
And then you find out it's not as many dresses you think they're all just stacked on top of a caramel popcorn case.
I love that you know Ross and well enough to know that you could get a caramel popcorn case.
I told Gail you can't have any more of that kettle corn. They're gonna run out of kettles. Last time I saw Gail come out of a Ross was the last time I saw Jelly Belly's
falling out of someone's pockets. I don't know what was more horrifying watching Gail come out
of that Ross with a loaded shopping cart or me actually standing in a parking lot of a Ross. I
mean what was I doing there? So stupid. So the orange, the orange team, the player is like, hey, I like your mustache, man.
And he's like, she has one, too, talking about LeBron A Dan.
What a little bitch.
I know.
So LeBron Dan, her ribs are fine.
And he is.
But the Mac and Jesus problem and the football player is like, uh, this is not crunchy.
This is not the way Mac and Jesus is supposed to be.
And, um, but they, they all feel like Libberians is fine.
They don't love it.
Like, apparently she let the ribs sit in the sauce for a while.
I just made a cooking the sauce of them to somehow the sauce didn't stick or whatever.
It didn't have a lot of flavor.
So she had issues, but it was fine.
It was fine.
Yes. or whatever, it didn't have a lot of flavor. So she had issues, but it was fine. It was fine. Yes, and one of the players is like,
I'm gonna judge this mac and cheese
based on my grandma's mac and cheese.
And then he's like, grandma would not approve.
And Tom goes, yeah, just mac and cheese
ran the wrong group.
Am I right?
Yeah, both like fourth quarter, fourth quarter
for the mac and cheese.
And it's gotta cook a field goal
and set it apart to kick, touch back.
So yeah, then the mustache, Charles Pima,
he's like, yeah, you know, with tailgating,
you get a lot of typical stuff.
Like, we want to do something interesting
because you get a lot of typical stuff,
like chili and pomecos.
Was that a dig at Chris and Carey for making chili?
Because I like that.
The dig that is, that was hilarious.
Were you making a dig at the smiling rodeo clown who makes toast on purpose? Good. Do it again. Say another one. Do something
about gal. Do gal now. My favorite bad part of this episode is when she goes up to the
mayor. She goes. All right, mayor. Well, I'm sure you have a lot of city business, so bye. I'm going to
say a good bye to you now, you know, city business and all that. He's like, I'm still
eating my rib. Bye. So nice of you to come down here, a short person. She goes, you
know, guys, I think everything was great.
And Tom goes, everything?
Well, I didn't even see a champ.
No one's really going for it.
I mean, I was disappointed.
And she goes, I agree.
Like, do you remember what you just said?
Do you think they're going to edit that out?
Stand by you.
Stand by your thoughts, Patty.
Well, I believe the mayor before he had to so quickly leave
for city business that he really enjoyed the ribs
I'm not sure it was like a dust cloud because all that city business he had to do I
Hope that city business gets done
It's important for city business to be done. This is a sudden fire
This is a sudden death city business quick fire.
The loser of this quick fire not only has to leave the show, but must assist the mayor
in his city business. So let's go over the judging table, shall we? I'm like, you know,
I had a great time. I met a lot of players. I saw things that were whack. I, you know, heard somebody make some mac and cheese joke. That was great. But, you know, it's like,
food I expected in any party with a hack chef, you know, so it was my hack.
Hack, hack, hack.
Hack, hack.
You literally said the food, Jay said like it was made by non-professional chefs. Also,
I thought it was funny every time Tom interacted with the football players because he tried
to be cool. He's like, hey, what up, man? Hey, man, what's going on? Hey, what up, man? Hey, TJ, TJ, uh, TJ Ward, what's going on? TJ Ward, uh,
does TJ stand for Tom Gillick, you know, when someone was showing their Super Bowl ring, you
say, well, yeah, that's quite a ring. Oh, that's nice. Uh, nice sparkle. Uh, uh, that's great.
Keep that thing away from Gal. You wouldn't want it to swallow it whole. She's done worse things am I right to J. Ward?
Keep that away from gal. It looks like Chris the light sugar and it'll be gone within a second
You know what they say about gal shiny objects and my right city business
Welcome to city business in spite of the ups and downs the water is still on and for that we can thank the mayor
Carrie your fancy toast to got you another round of win and Amish Chris
I forgot what you made, but I also liked it kind of maybe sort of I'm gonna wait for Tom to tell me
Yeah, yeah, so basically Amish and Carrie win because they were smart
They decided to focus on one really good dish together
And then Tom he was really mad at Fatima's nachos. I was like, well, I mean I could have gone to any restaurant in town
I've gotten better nachos than Fatima's I mean like what sort of nachos were there? That's when Padma was like
Bruce
Why didn't you just make steak nachos? It just doesn't make sense to me
And Tom was furious.
He's like, guys, you know, this has to be your best version, not your weakest version.
You got to go for the gold.
You know, I want to see everybody squatting on the ground putting their knees to the line
and then, you know, making a pass, then running through things and catching a ball.
You know, that's what I want to see.
Not this.
I'm very angry.
I'm so angry.
Right now, I'm very angry.
I'm wack angry. I was like, okay, now I'm very angry. I'm wack angry.
I was like, okay, Tom.
Okay, we're all terrified, little Tom.
Be quiet.
And then Tom, this is like Tom's big moment.
When he starts addressing Adrian and Mustache, he goes,
okay, I'll tell you exactly what was wrong with this dish
because everything was wrong with the dish.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Zing, if you want.
Zing a dingle.
And then he just starts going in on every little thing that's wrong with
it. So good. And then they tell Bert Libberney down she should have rubbed her ribs or she
should have cooked directly on the grill. She's like, well, yeah. Cornstarch was a cornstarch
was a mistake, which is basically pat Padma as Gail's ghost rider.
Gail, cornstarch was a mistake by Padma, Lachmi.
Oh, for the longest time I thought Gail had a cocaine problem.
Turns out she just nodded in cornstarch.
Bless her heart.
So ultimately, you know, this cooked the steak really well and LeBernard ends, you know,
her ribs were not great but they were fine.
So Fatima and Moussache were on the chopping block and then behold, our sweet Fatima was sent
home, which is, it's bullshit and sad, it's not right.
And now she and Jo Flam have to face off against each other in last year's kitchen.
I'm like, no, but they're friends.
They should have to face off against each other in last chance kitchen. I'm like, no, but they're friends. They should have to face off.
I hate it.
It is bullshit.
And it really pissed me off when the guest judge said, you know, yes, the mac and cheese
was probably the worst, but the slot was decent.
And it's not fair to isolate him based on the mac and cheese.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
It is.
It really is.
It's really, really fair.
The nachos were good.
And the mac and cheese balls were hideous and inevitableetable. How is of course you can't he's gonna win for putting mayonnaise on some cabbage come on
Come on. Yeah, yeah, that's good
That was the end of the episode
So normally we do a
We do a little crap and smell back right now, but I'm gonna be honest with everyone
I have a meeting to go to,
and so I kind of have to call it a day right now.
I'm so sorry.
Well, we'll read the mailbag on the next episode, chefs.
I apologize, because I know people,
they're supporting us on the mailbag level,
so I really do apologize.
There will be a double mailbag next week.
Double mailbag.
We'll work it in.
We're going to just roll around in that mail.
We're going to toss it up and down.
It's like, crap in's mailbag.
We are going to live the dream.
But I'm sorry.
I do have to go.
Listen, I got to take a shower.
Here's the problem.
I'm going out in public.
I got to take a shower.
And then I got to go to the West Side.
I mean, it's me.
It's me. It's me. I'm the victim here. All right, everybody. We will talk to you Monday.
Have a great week. Have a great weekend and stay tuned on Monday for the crappies. And
by the way, thank you to everyone who has bought tickets already on this on today. Our
big ticket release day. Atlanta's already sold out. So thank you so much. We sold our Chicago first Chicago show
and the second Chicago show is now at low numbers too.
So thank you all so much for that.
We really do mean it.
And we can't wait to see it.
And if you still need tickets, go to watchwoodcrapins.com.
There's a schedule at the bottom of the page
and it'll take you to ticket like it's not that good stuff.
Yeah.
See you on Monday.
You'll really enjoy their crappies.
Bye.
Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch smell that good stuff. Yeah, see you on Monday. You'll really enjoy their crappies. Bye. survey at 1dry.com slash survey.