We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle - Your Hilarious (& Heartwarming) Holiday Stories! (Best Of)

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

Glennon, Abby, Amanda and the Pod Squad share their most brutiful and hilarious holiday stories. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. Be honest, between meetings, workout classes, and the kids' clubs, who's got time to cook? That's where HelloFresh comes in. No matter how busy you get, HelloFresh makes it easy to get a home-cooked meal on the table. With flavor-packed recipes like crispy chicken parmigiana, you'll be filling your kitchen with the cozy aromas

of a homemade meal in no time. Visit HelloFresh.ca and use code SPOTIFY for your exclusive offer. You know what's great about ambition? You can't see it. Some things look ambitious, but looks can be deceiving. For example, a runner could be training for a marathon, or they could be late for the bus. You never know. Ambition is on the inside. So that goal to be the ultimate soccer parent?

Keep chasing it. Drive your ambition. Mitsubishi Motors. It's holiday season. It's holiday season. Welcome back to the show. It's we can do hard things. Wow. Wow.

Pabbie sounds like an eighties disc jockey. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. hard things. Wow. Wow. Abby sounds like an 80s disc jockey. Let's get ready to rumble. Here we are with the top 40.

Oh man, I love the top 40. Everyone set your tape recorders, pressing play and record at the same time so you can get your favorite tune. Remember Casey Kasem? Of course we do. And do you remember you'd have to wait to hear your favorite song? I used to wait and listen and listen for, um, running just as fast as we can. Can, can, can.

Holding on to one another's hand. Hand, hand, hand. Try to get away into the night. And then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then we say, I think we're alone now. And then you have to push play and record and you get that shit. Okay. We are here with you, our favorite people on this entire beautiful earth, the Pog Squad, and what we're doing today,

we have gathered your beautiful, brutal, hilarious, embarrassing holiday stories. Oh, yes. And we have lots of strategies to get through stuff, and that's what we do here. We try to make life a little bit easier by talking about the hard, and one of the things that we know that gets us through is absurdity. We are going to be here together. We are going to laugh. We are going to cry.

We are going to remember that life isn't really all that serious. And that's our goal for today. Is just laugh together and release. Fun times. Joy to the world. Let's tell our stories first. Okay. I don't have any stories, so you go.

Although my husband just listened. He came home last night, got in bed and he's like, really? With the heart sticker? Really? Wait, what? The embarrassing story with the no underwear Jordie picture. Oh, John listened to that one. Oh, yeah.

Anyway, but I don't think I have any holidays, but I'll jump in if you jog the old memory. Well, okay, mine is actually a little bit, it's not funny. It's sweet. But I was thinking, I was thinking, sister's like, fuck you. Womp, womp. Listen, no one has more embarrassing stories than us. We've actually gotten messages that say,

how can Glennon have so many embarrassing stories? And to you, I want to say, well, yeah, exactly. Okay? Exactly. So I, the second Christmas after the divorce, first one was just really hard for everybody. So we're gonna skip over that one. We're gonna go to the one after the first one,

which was the second Christmas, all of us together. And we were gathering at our house, which had used to be me and Craig's house, because that's how we had to do it during that time. Awkward. Yeah, it was just like every family that divorces and then tries to do the things together afterwards, it is a minefield. It's awkward at first, big time. And it's awkward and then it's worse than awkward. It's painful.

There's all these weird moments where you have to do things differently and the kids are looking at you like, what the hell are we doing? How are we doing this? And then you're like trying to make it seem normal. And anyway, so second holiday, we're opening presents and I open up the present from Craig to me and the kids are all around and I open it up and it's this thing that Craig has had made at the mall and it's this ornament and it's six snow people. He had had Craig, Glennon, Abby, Chase, Emma, and Tish written on each of the snowmen's scarves.

So sweet. And so I opened it up and the kids were watching and it was just the snow people of our family all on one ornament that he had put us all on. And it was just, well, I think one of my top three holiday moments ever, because it was just like, oh, this is how we're gonna do it. And he gave us that gift of like,

here we are, the snow people family, little weird, but we are six now. There's nothing like cutting like a slice of the awkward with this beautiful ornament. I know. I was so touched by that. I know. Because it was like Craig saying,

you're part of our family, Abby, and this is the way we're going to do it. I know. And it gave the kids permission to see us that way. And it gave us all permission to not see us as like, we're this slice and that slice, but we're this one big snow person family. I actually think that this is the moment that he made the holidays forevermore not awkward.

Yeah, maybe. It was like this, this like gift that he gave everybody that was like, this is our family and this is how we roll. Yeah. Yes. And also this is our family and I declare it publicly on an ornament on our tree forevermore. Yes. It wasn't like a This Is Our Family and we'll just kind of roll with that, I guess. It was

like, no, we are, you know, because is there anything more official about a family than when you get the ornament with everyone's name on it? That's right. It was pride. It was like, no, we're proud of our snow person family. Who says you have to be two snow people and 2.5 kids? We are all these snow people and prove that we're not because the mall says we are.

Yeah. Yes. And you know he had to custom order that because they usually don't come with three big snow people. Exactly. No, no, no. To be clear, my snow person was a child. Fake kid. Okay. Well, it was Craig and Abby were the parents. Also accurate. Yes. Craig and Abby were the parents. And then I was a child snow person.

This is like a shout out to all of like this quote unquote step parents or we call myself a bonus parent I think we call them snow people from now on. Snow people, yeah. When we are decorating the tree, it is really hard when you pull out all of the kids first ornaments and their second ornaments and all of the family ornaments that have happened well before I came around. Yeah. And so here is now this moment that I am included in putting my claim and my stake in this family on the tree during the time of which could be really othering or outsidering, you know? Yeah. So I don't know, I just, there are a few moments like that.

Like when you guys start talking about the kids before I came around, it's like a shot to the heart. And so here, I don't know, I just think it's such a beautiful thing that Craig was able to do for me because he brought me in, in all these ways that I'm sure he never even thought of. But it was just, it's so touching and so-

Craig Melton, shout out to Craig Melton. I'm sure he doesn't listen to this. The last thing he needs is more of my voice in his ear, but if you are a friend of Craig, tell him we say thank you. Exactly. I just thought of a Christmas ornament story of my own. Oh, Lord. You did.

Do you remember when you're talking about gifts of personalized Christmas ornaments? I just had a flash of what you're going to say. I cannot believe you're going to tell the pods about this. No, shot to the heart because I probably wasn't around. Even when you guys were little kids, I have so much FOMO. I'm so hot spot this. No, shot to the heart because I probably wasn't around. Even when you guys were little kids, I have so much FOMO. I'm sorry. Sweetheart, you're gonna be glad you weren't around for this one.

Oh really? Okay. So, Abby, so when my first husband and I split, it was, we've gone over this, please see it in the episode. But the weird thing is I didn't know anything was amiss. So it was summertime, we had a 10 minute conversation But the weird thing is I didn't know anything was amiss. So it was summertime, we had a 10 minute conversation about it.

About the infidelity? No, no. Set the stage a little more. Ten minute conversation about the marriage is over. Then another 10 minute conversation. Then I never see him again to this point. Got it. It's like 15 years ago by now.

And I thought it was just, you know, I don't know what the hell I thought it was. We didn't know what it was. But anyway, it was done. I'm stuck with this house that's very underwater. I'm trying to rent it out. I go to rent it out. I'm at the house like trying to get it set up. I'm there and this package comes, but it's for a name that is not the correct name. So I'm like, that's weird, but I can't find an address. I just like open it up, see if I can figure it out to send it back.

And it, Abby, is a baby's first Christmas ornament. is a baby's first Christmas ornament with a note congratulating my husband on his new baby. Oh my God, he was pregnant when he broke up with you. It is unclear. I did go at that point when I was like, what the hell's going on? I looked online and there was a baby registry strongly correlated with a conception. Wow.

Before we were divorced. But one cannot know. One cannot know. Seriously, one cannot know. All I'm saying... A Christmas immaculate conception, I'm sure. Yes. All I'm saying is that that was my first personalized ornament. Didn't go quite as well as yours. Yeah. I mean... Questions answered.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Sister opened a baby's first Christmas ornament, and that is how she found out. Whoopsie daisies. You know, we've been through it, Sissy. We really have. We have been through it with the marriage situation. He really got really close of getting away with it. You know?

I mean, what is no one gets away with anything? And then Aunt Bertha. This is what Aunt Bertha sends a Christmas ornament. But that whole thing, I don't know. Yeah, how do you feel about it now? Talk to us about now you're 15 Christmases later. I mean, by the way, I remember that day, like with, I remember standing in my kitchen at the sink

and you telling me this story and just the blood rushing from my body. Like my brain trying to put together like the puzzle of what had happened. I don't even remember how we got through that day. I don't. Not well. Not well. I, you know what? I just feel like, who knows?

This is my theory about life. Who knows? I still don't know what happened. I still have no idea what happened. I just think it's, like I still have the ornament. I put it, yeah. What? Yeah, it's on my fucking tree.

No. What? Oh my God. You are such a badass. It's on your tree. No! What? Oh my God. You are such a badass. It's on your tree. Why? Why do you still have that? Because you know what? I just feel like,

I feel like compartmentalizing our lives is dangerous. I just don't feel like there's any before or after and there's no like, he's bad and I'm good and there's no, even if I could know whether he was cheating on me and that's why he left and that's why this baby came and that's why, who knows what any of it means? I just, it was real in my life

and it reminds me of my most brokenness and it's up there with my baby's beautiful faces and the things they've made for me. And I just feel like it's up there with my baby's beautiful faces and the things they've made for me. And I just feel like it's, like, why do we push away those and pretend, like, that's not all part of the same stew that is who we are. This is the most evolved thing I've ever heard. That is so beautiful.

Beautiful. The cracks are how the light gets in. And who knows what's a crack? Like honestly, I don't know. Who knows what's a crack? And I try to be open with my kids about it, about like, you know, well, what happened? And what was that like?

And just because it's a very windy path in this life. And there's no like, well, that marriage was fucked up and this one's great. And you see the trajectory of life and how it took that hard walk to get to this beautiful life. Like, no, it's just everything. And then the next step is off the cliff.

Like, bride comes before the fall. It's beautiful and a big fucking mess all at once. Yes, and it's- Including our tree. And we can't decide what's good. You know what we thought was good? That wedding day. And it was.

But like, it's that story about the sage and then, and that every time something wonderful happened, the sage would say, it's good news, you won the lottery. And he would go, is that so? Bad news, all your money means that somebody stole it. Is that so? Good news. Is that so?

It's like, we don't know what's good, what's bad. So we throw it all on the tree. Yeah. Sister, that is amazing. I never knew that about you. I learned something new about you today. I did not know you kept that shit on your tree. That's amazing.

That actually- That's so badass. It gives me some hope. Baby's first Christmas! Yeah. ["The Christmas Tree"] Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic.

Hi there. Still no. What about, hello handsome. Who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself.

I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable.

Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope. You're on your own there. Could've skipped it. Should've skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on Skip. Do you want to tell a story or Do you want to move on to that?

I do want to tell a quick story. I do because this has just got to be a big shout out to my mama because talk about the hope and the dream of a perfect holiday. My mom was like really always and still is. So it is the most important thing to her to have family organized parties and traditions. And so what I'm about to tell you is just like a big apology to my mother because I wasn't the easiest kid.

And now being a parent, I understand more than I did as a child, like most of us do. And so here I was this one year, I think I must've been 10, maybe even younger, I don't know exactly how old I was. But I was going to be testing the idea of whether Santa was real or not.

Oh. Get your kids out of, if they're, if they are, if you haven't gotten them out already with all the fucks, please get them out now. So we're going to have Santa discussion. Yeah. Good call. Talking about fucking Santa. Yeah. Mute, mute or fast forward.

My mom told us all we need to make a list. And I was like, Did she tell you to check it twice? I was like, all right, yeah, no problem. I'll make a list. And she's like, where's your list? And I was like, I'm not gonna give it to you. Because if Santa is real, then he will know what my list is.

She was like, okay, got it. But I really didn't make a list because I knew she would find it. Because she's good. Yeah. She's legit. You got it figured out by the time you come to your seventh kid. So fast forward to Christmas morning, sitting around, I've got six brothers and sisters. It's just mayhem.

There's just presents everywhere. And for whatever reason, this year I had already gotten over Barbie. I was a huge Barbie fan. I had like the house, I had the Corvette. I bet you were. And I was switching Ken and Barbie's heads back and forth. Like, of course this non-binary thing was already in me. How do I make this work? Yeah. This doesn't look right for some reason.

Do I want to play with Barbie or do I want Barbie? Do I want to play with Ken or do I want Barbie? Do I want to play with Ken or do I want to be like Ken? So all of these things, but anyways, this year I got over Barbie. First present shows up. I get to go, cause we go in order from youngest to oldest and then oldest to youngest to everybody get the right turn. And I open the present and I see the color pink, Barbie.

And I opened it halfway and I was like, this is a Barbie and I threw it to the side. And I was like, I hate Barbie. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my mom didn't know what to get me. So she was like, well, she likes Barbies. I'll just get her all Barbie stuff. Every present was Barbie. So she was like, well, she likes Barbies. I'll just get her all Barbie stuff. Every present was Barbie.

So every single present was Barbie. So every single time I'd open the present halfway, I'd throw it aside and go, I hate Barbie. Barbie, ugh. You know, and so at this point, my mom's having a total freak out because she knows that every present is present.

So she gets Beth on board, my eldest sister, Beth, she's 11 years older. She's like, go sit next to Abby and open up those presents and get her excited about. Poor oldest sisters. I know, poor old sibling. Like they're just trying to make it good and fun for the youngest. Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? And so here I am having the worst Christmas ever.

And this has set the tone for the rest of my life in terms of being a hard person to shop for. My mom hates shopping for me because I was an asshole. I had to shop for. My mom hates shopping for me because I was an asshole. I had to teach her. She, I kid you not, the first Christmas together, we've got her presents. She would open them and be like, I'd be like, thank you. I was like, honey, you act happy on Christmas. This is great. You act excited. You lie. You do your face. I don't know.

You know, our family's weird that way. No one else is like that. I don't know. Our family throws a parade for every stocking stuffer. It's not, it's not. Yeah. Is that right? I just don't know if that's right either.

I think that there might be something in the middle, right? Like what is the best present you ever got me that That I responded to the correct. The ice maker. Oh, that's good. The ice maker last year. I really wanted that. I really did. What else? I don't ever remember anything except for what's happening right now. I'm just saying Abby that I don't know

that that taught your mom a lesson. I think it taught you a lesson. Like you were trying to be real slick and not write down your list for your mom or for Santa and you got a bunch of shit you hated. So I bet you wrote a list next year. I probably did. Expectations are resentments under construction.

You did not share what you wanted. And when we don't share what we want, we get Barbies. Fucking Barbies. Before we end the story, mom, I'm very sorry. And I've set my whole life up for tough times in the present day business because of this. And I can't help it. I can't fake it.

I can't fake it. If somebody gives me something that I'm never gonna use. Like the kids, they gave me some stuff last year that. Oh, I know you showed how you felt. I just, it wasn't cool. I was like, you know. You showed how you felt. And this is what we love about you.

I feel like it's a waste of time. Anyways, mom, I love you and I'm sorry. Let's hear holiday stories from the pod squad. Very excited. I think first we are hearing from Tina. Hi, this is Tina. On Christmas day when I was a young girl, my stepfather, he baked a ham and he baked the entire thing

in the oven with the lid on completely in the bag. And the funniest thing is, is when he pulled it out, me, who just happened to be standing there and I am a connoisseur of cooking even at a young age, I was like, oh my God, what is on the ham? And he was like, what do you need? I was basing it. I said, listen, you have to stop. There is a bag on the ham for the actual plastic

that comes with the ham. He put the entire thing on and baked it and didn't know. That's the best. He put the entire thing on and baked it and didn't know. That's the best. Okay, so pod squad, Glennon is confused. So let me explain. Hams and turkeys, they come in that plastic, it's in a sealed like tight, her stepdad put the ham in with the bag on and so the plastic melted.

Well, did it say on the thing, take off the plastic? Yes. I mean, everything there's, that's not even a cooking thing. That's a, you just bought something from somewhere thing. No. It's like you have shoes. You gotta take the plastic off the shoes before you wear them.

No, that's not true. There's bags of broccoli. You put the whole thing in the microwave, right? Right? I mean, when you're trying to steam a bag? Yeah, yeah. He was steaming the ham and the ice stand. But he put plastic in it that's gonna melt.

I'm just gonna tell you, I will die on this mountain. I stand with Tina's stepfather. Yeah, we know. The best part is he was basting it. It's like, let me just pour some nice juicy fluids on this plastic. Honey, do you know what basting means? I hope, yes. That's the thing that people use to, lesbians used to get pregnant.

A turkey basting. Yes, that's right. That's an old school model before IVF became the same. So lesbians invented it and then some people found out that it could be good for turkeys. And then Tina's stepdad appropriated it for the turkey. Okay, let's hear from Anna. Hi, Glennon, Abby, and sister. My name is Anna and I'm a mother of three young kids. And so it's very common for me to refer to my husband as daddy.

And so this was a few years ago. We were at my mom and dad's house with all of my siblings and in-laws and nieces and nephews and sitting around the table having White Russians. My parents had started a tradition of serving White Russians on Christmas Day. So I'm sitting next to my dad, and I take a sip of my white Russian,

and I say, as I'm looking at him, yum daddy. And the room goes silent. Everybody looks at me, my face turns beet red, and then we all disrupt in laughter. And so now, every Christmas, when white Russians are served, there is a lot of teasing about Yum Daddy.

Yum Daddy. Yum Daddy. Yum Daddy. Ew. Ew. Yum Daddy. No, stop saying that please. Okay. Let's hear from Dusty.

I call Craig Daddy. Yes, you do. And it's really not soy. I call Craig daddy. Yes, you do. And it's really awkward. That's so weird. So good. My name is Dusty. So when I was 12, my mom was really excited to do things up for Christmas. It's been a really hard year.

So she wanted to do all the lights. Think like Martha May, who be a from the Grinch. So I ended up on the roof with her trying to spell happy holidays with our strands of light, except that we ran out of lights. So instead our house said happy ho all season. And this is easily my favorite. That would have been my favorite house.

That would have been my favorite house for sure. Dusty, that's amazing. Happy ho. I wanna see all the Pod Squads pictures of themselves at Christmas with hashtag happy ho underneath all the selfies. So, yes, depending how you identify, you can either do hashtag happy ho or hashtag yum daddy. Ah, yes.

Okay, let's hear from Taylor. Hi, my name is Taylor. A little bit of background. My parents divorced during COVID and we're all older. So we're in our funniest and late teens, the youngest and we're four kids. And we were newly navigating sort of a split holiday, but doing it together situation. And my mom and me and my sister right underneath of me have all been highly therapistized.

We are Zen, we are healthy, as healthy as you can be, and really working on our stuff. So all of that said, my youngest sister is 17 and convinced the rest of us that it would be really funny to do the TikTok trends where all of the kids are sticking up their middle finger in the family photo. But it wasn't funny. We did it. My mom looked at the picture. She actually laughed, but my dad just hysterically broke down crying, which caused my brother to cry. And all of the women are just standing there looking

at them like it was a joke. Like it was supposed to be funny. And it turned into this huge thing. And none of us could stop laughing long enough to take anybody's feelings seriously. And so we talk about it as flipping the bird Maguettans and we don't do holidays altogether now. We have two separate holidays all because my 17 year old sister wanted to follow a TikTok trend and convince the rest of us that it was a good idea. Wow. I'm so surprised. Oh my God.

I was laughing. We must unpack this. So they all were flicking off and it just, that is the thing. That is the butterfly effect that set the emotions into play and the men started crying and then they don't do their holidays together anymore. So all the people who were in therapy started laughing. And the men who weren't in therapy cried and left. Do you know what I think the lesson here is?

What? Besides no TikTok things at Christmas or Hanukkah, is to me that shows how whatever we're thinking about, whatever is the main thing on our minds, we think everything is about. Whatever is the main thing on our minds, we think everything is about. So they saw the flicking off of the camera and they were like, see? This family hates each other now. They hate this holiday. They hate us. It's all ruined. When really they were actually having a great time. But you can't see past your own perception of what everything's about.

Yeah, everything's about everything. Yeah. I'll be thinking about that one for a while. Let's do the trend this year. All right, Liz, let's hear from Liz. My name is Liz and bless my husband's heart, he wanted to propose to me in front of my entire family for Christmas. And so him and my younger sister had it all planned out. He gets the ring. She knows what box it's in. My sister knows what's going to happen. And I just have no idea. And so I'm sitting here with my 88 year old great grandmother,

my grandparents, and my eight month old son and my sister's been pestering me this entire time to open this box. And I'm trying to do the whole Christmas thing, you know, trying to get the baby all settled. And so I am aggravated. Finally, I give in, I'm like, give me the damn package. I get this package in. Open it. And I'm sitting there and I'm aggravated, get it open. And I look at my husband and I said, what's this? And he's down on one knee asked me if I'd marry him.

My 88 year old great grandmother from across the room, who's been watching this entire time, yelled, what's going on, Wenda? My grandmother goes, I'm not sure, Shirley. And my sister yells, shut the hell up, he's just about through the marriage. Oh, I love this family. Yeah. I wanna hang out with Shirley and Linda.

What's going on? I'm not sure, Linda. Oh my God, it's so good. This reminds me, yesterday I saw this tweet that said, God, I love the holidays, the peace, the joy, the ornaments, the woman in front of me at Costco that just said, I don't care if we get your cousin a pile of shit, Larry. Okay, let's hear from Katie.

Hi, Glennon, Abby and sister. This is Katie. My wife, Lindsay and I were traveling for Thanksgiving and we stopped at a gas station to fill up and while my wife is filling up the car, I said I'm going to go in and go to the bathroom. So I go into the gas station convenience store area and there's single stalls. So I pull in the women's door and it was locked and I had to go pee so badly. So I was like, I'm just going to go in the men's. So I go in the men's, I go to the bathroom and then I leave and I'm kind of walking in

the aisles of the convenience store trying to find snacks or something and I hear this woman kind of pounding on the door and she's yelling like, get me out, get me out. And I look over towards the bathroom and I see my wife is leaning against the women's stall door, like pinning it shut, bending over laughing hysterically because she thinks I'm in the stall. And so this woman is like pounding on the door. She's like, get me out, get me out. And Lindsay is again just like bent over laughing. She looks up and sees me and then her jaw drops and I lose it. So now I'm laughing hysterically

and she moves out of the way, this woman comes flying out of the bathroom and looks at my wife and is like, what the hell is wrong with you? And Lindsay just looks at her and she's like, happy Thanksgiving. And I fell over. At this point, I think I was on the floor

of the convenience store laughing hysterically. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh my gosh, that's like unlawful confinement. Oh my god, that's so good. How much fun. I love couples that do that kind of stuff to each other. Like play practical jokes and tricks. The other day I was hiding for like a solid five minutes.

Maybe that's all you do. And so like I set the camera up and I'm ready. By the other day, she means every day. And like she walks upstairs and then she takes a different route that she normally takes. So she found me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's hear from Taylor.

My name is Taylor and my partner and I do my favorite thing. Every Christmas we were inspired both of our dads passed away when we were 17 year olds. And we have had a lot of other significant deaths in our family. And so now for Christmas, we buy each other gifts in honor of those people. So my husband calls it on behalf of and their behalf gifts and their favorite things to open around Christmas. So hopefully that inspires you all to keep the memory of your loved ones with you and make that liminal space very present in your life. Thank you for all y'all do. I love you all and I'm just so thankful. Bye. That's awesome.

That's beautiful. That's very cool. So she's saying they give gifts on behalf of someone who's passed. So good. That's really beautiful. I'm going to start doing that. That is beautiful. All right.

I'm going to do it. Let's hear from Adrienne. This is Adrienne and I have a holiday story, which is I have always loved Christmas since I was a kid. I was the ringleader of loving Christmas. And then I went to college, I got politicized. I learned about capitalism and I was like, I'm not down for this capitalist holiday and all this stuff. So I told my family like, look, post-capitalist, okay? So I come home, wake up Christmas morning with my sisters and we come downstairs and there's no gifts, nothing. The stockings, there's just nothing. Now, mind you, I'm like 24, 25. There's no

children in the house. Maybe there shouldn't be anything, but the look on my face apparently betrayed my anti-capitalism to my entire family. And my dad started laughing like the Grinch who stole Christmas. And I was trying to play it cool. Oh, this hasn't grown up poppy. This is fine. Like it's fine. Meanwhile inside I'm six years old and crying and devastated. Then my parents go upstairs and they came down with these like very elegant bags of like adult gifts and they're like, we heard you. But mostly they're just laughing in my face. And every year, every year I get to hear this story.

Oh yeah. Adrienne's parents for the win. Yup. You know, all of our children are anti-capitalist until they need a plane ride home. That's right. Until they need to test anti-capitalism with a little Christmas attitude. Yeah. That's so good. That's so good. Okay, Emma. Hi, my name is Emma. I do really love to cook. And my family and grandma and mom and I have always cooked together. So one day I was like, you know what, I'm going to do friends giving, I'm going to cook

this meal. And so I texted the whole family group chat and said, you know, I really love our secret family recipe, the green bean casserole with like the cream of mushroom, the green beans and the fried onions. Classic. I said, can you send me the secret family recipe? To which my entire family replies, and by secret family recipe, do you mean the green bean casserole recipe that's on the can of fried onions that all of the United States of America makes every Thanksgiving? So there's my short and sweet story. I'm still based on us to this day. Well, after that story, we have to mention Phoebe Buffet's grandmother's secret chocolate

chip recipe that she was going to take to her grave. And the recipe was by Nestle Toll House. Nestle Toll House. Nestle Toll House. Love me some Phoebe. Okay, Jen. Hi, my name is Jen. And this is a bittersweet holiday story. When I was 27, my mom was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

And as we neared the holidays, we realized she wasn't going to be here for Christmas. And also realized that all of our family traditional Czech recipes were in her mind, in her brain, and had never been written down, just passed down orally. So we decided stupidly to recreate Christmas in October with her so we could share the meal with her and write down all these recipes. The first misstep was the pork gravy. So we're supposed to broil the drippings at 500 degrees, according to my mom's brain, which wasn't at peak capacity at that point. And the first thing to happen is smoke billowing out of the oven. And my four-year-old nephew knows what to do in a fire, so he's running through the house screaming, quick, quick fire. We have to get out of here.

Evacuate. It alleviates some tension. And then next was the potato dumplings. Then when we scooped those little suckers out, they were pure rubber. We had screwed up something along the line and my mom was pissed and devastated. So she chucked one of those little suckers into the sink and it ricocheted around like a bouncy ball off the sides of the sink and we all just erupted into this silent laughing tears streaming down your face, can't breathe laughter and it was beautiful and amazing and we had a wonderful albeit chewy

and burnt meal but it was a beautiful last memory with her. And I think about every year when I make those little dumplings and they turn out wrong and it just brings me joy. I think that story is so beautiful. Yes. She said wonderful. I'll be it burnt and rubbery. I just feel like so much could be said of life. It's wonderful. I'll be it burnt and rubbery. So much could be said of life. It's wonderful, albeit burnt and rubbery. That's right. They turn out wrong and it brings me joy.

It's like all the mess of it is the beauty of it. Thank you, Jen. It's here from Jackie. Hi, my name is Jackie. I had just recently started dating this guy in my early 20s, and I was out at the bar with his family and talking with his mom on the side. And she told me that she was going to be asking her husband for Christmas for the magic bullet. And I proceeded to tell her how I wanted a magic bullet as well. And I thought it was really interesting that she was so open with me. This was our first Christmas together. I thought she was telling me about her sex toys that she was going to be asking from her husband. So she's telling me, oh,

yep, the one that I want has all different beads, different pulses. And I asked her if she is going to get the one with the massage gloves. And she looked at me and she's like, I don't know about the massage gloves. I am talking about a blender. Wait, did she say this was her mother-in-law? She was just dating this guy. I'm recapping. Jackie was dating a guy. She went to a bar with his family and she was talking to his mom and his mom said she wants a magic bullet and she said I also want a vibrator. A magic bullet. Oh my god I can't believe how cool this

mom is. She's talking to me about wanting a vibrator but I think she was talking about one of those things that they have on like QVC. A blender.. It's like a neutral bullet, the thing you turn upside down. And she thought she was talking about the freaking silver bullet. Oh, is that what it's called? The silver bullet. Jackie was comparing notes to see if she was getting the best model.

And so I asked her if she wanted, if she was going to get the one with the massage setting. Oh my God. I don't know about the massage setting. No, massage gloves. The massage gloves. Jackie thought she was about to have the coolest mother-in-law ever. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. That's so good. Jackie, thank you for that. You've made my Christmas better.

Krista. Hi there. My name is Krista. About five or six Thanksgiving ago, we have two little kids, they were playing, running around outside. We were running around outside and our dog was out there as well. Unbeknownst to us, she disappeared somewhere into our neighborhood for maybe 10 minutes,

Pops came back, all was well. We loaded the kids, the dog, all the food into the car and we are heading to my mom's house for a lovely Thanksgiving dinner. So we get down there. Everything's great until about 15 minutes before we sit down. All of a sudden our dog throws up an entire honey baked spiral ham. How do I know it's honey baked? Because the crackling edges were still attached to the ham. It was perfectly sliced. It was clear to anyone what it was. My mom looks at me for an explanation. I just kind of shrugged. I have no idea. I looked at my husband for an explanation.

He also has no clue. We eventually clean it up and move on with the family dinner. The problem is, to this day, we have no idea which of our neighbors had to order pizza for their Thanksgiving dinner because our dog ate their ham. I am still absolutely horrified. My dog on the other hand does not seem to care. She walked around the neighborhood like she owns it. Like everything's fine. Like she just really wanted some ham. Could you imagine a lot of people use like their garages or outdoor area to like keep things cold because you don't have enough room in your refrigerator for the holiday food.

Could you imagine having your ham or turkey or whatever outside and then like going out to like, you know, you've preheated the oven. You're going to bring it to room 10. The fucking ham is gone. It's just gone. The family is still talking about the ham. Do you look around for it? Like did this ham get up and run away?

You'd be yelling at everyone. Oh, you know they were all blaming each other. Yeah. And then I'd be like, wait, did I buy the ham? Totally. I didn't buy the ham. I didn't buy the ham this year. Do you know what's fascinating is that the whole thing came up and it was still in its

like pre-slice. Yes, because dogs, they just swallow shithole. They do. I mean, the other thing that's really interesting to me is that this dog ruined somebody's holiday. I don't know what I was going to say. I had a really good point. I don't know. I love it.

No, it was going to be good. Damn it all good point. Okay. I don't know. I love you. No, it was going to be good. Damn it all to hell. It's okay. The pre-sliced? No. No. Okay.

All right. Let's hear from Teresa. Hi, this is Teresa. I have a heartwarming holiday story to share with Paz Squad. I was getting divorced in 2014 and it was very hard for me because I loved my ex-husband's family. He had a large extended family. They were all very good to me and I was feeling really lonely on Christmas Eve because that was always a big family extravaganza and they were that was always one of the highlights of the year for me. My family doesn't live here

and they'd kind of left me on my own anyway through the whole divorce. So I was sitting at home kind of in a mope, feeling really sad. And then there was a knock at the door and I opened the door and it was my soon to be ex-husband's cousin who was bringing to me a butter dish Tupperware. That's the fancy Polish Tupperware, if you're in Buffalo or anywhere in the Midwest. Full of goulash from my ex-husband's grandmother who knew that I was sitting at home alone

missing everything and missing her goulash in particular, which is always a big holiday highlight. And she handed it to me through the door as if it was some sort of transaction of like sacred documents or something and said, grandma wanted you to have this and Merry Christmas. And I think it was the best gift I ever received was that tub full of grandma's goulash. So sometimes it's the little things that are really the big things. Thanks. Happy holiday. You know what else is good? Grandmas. Grandmas who just include women, whether they're on the ends with their families or they're out with their families. Like the people who think of the person who might be lonely and just reach out something little. That would be a good

thing for this holiday. Just to think of somebody in your life who might be a little lonely this holiday and just reach out. I also remembered what I was going to say before. What? If the family of this ham is listening, if one year a ham went missing, please call in and leave a voicemail. Yeah.

I need to hear from your side. And also, I just love the idea of that you can just maybe rise up above a little bit of that just because people are no longer going to be married, that that has to be whole cloth cutting off from them. I mean, where it's possible, I think little gestures like that. Again, the compartmentalizing that we talked about before. It's just like, there's no world in which someone was a huge part of your life and your traditions and you loved them and you cared for them and you spent all of these important

events with them. And then the next year, because of something totally separate from you, it's like, well, that's no longer a thing. We force ourselves to do emotional gymnastics instead of realizing that the truth of it is if you cared about them then, you care about them now. And it may be in a little more complicated of a way, but we make it too tidy. And in making it too tidy, I think we hurt other people and we hurt ourselves. If you have love for people, you can show it. Yeah.

I also think, in terms of like divorces and isn't the holidays supposed to be about trying to like like divorces and isn't the holidays supposed to be about trying to like be of joy and love and inclusion and it's like when this divorce thing happens there automatically becomes this weird exclusion. Yeah, in and out. And like this person's now on the outside and I just, I don't believe in that, you know, like marriage has happened, people have been, I love some of my in-laws that are no longer married to my brothers, you know, and I love some of my in-laws that are no longer married to my brothers. You know, and I think that that's really important

that they know that I love them. And no matter what, my nieces and nephews are half theirs. Yeah, that's right. Well, I love this wild, huge family we've created, this pod squad. It is just been a great joy of my life this year. And it makes me feel comforted to know that no matter what the next year brings,

we will be back here next year at the same time, telling ridiculous stories together and reflecting on the year together and preparing to do the next year together. And for that constancy I am grateful and I just hope all of you find some tiny bursts and slices of joy inside all of the mess that the next week will inevitably bring. And peace. Yeah, little flashes of peace. And I love you sister, and I love you Abby.

And you will be the gift and the present. Your presence will be our best present. I hope so, cause I haven't bought a lot. I love you Abby, I love you G-Bird, I love you Pod Squad. I love you guys so much. And I want to buy sister all of the things. I know. We do like to buy. Please act on that impulse. We love you. Enjoy your people. If you're alone, enjoy yourself because you are the thing.

If you're with people, you are the thing too. That's right. We'll see you next time. Love. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us. If you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page

on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And then just tap the plus sign in the upper right-hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle,

Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren Legrasso, Alison Schott, Dina Kleiner, and Bill Schultz.