We Might Be Drunk - Ep 119: Neal Brennan Likes Soup

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

From the world famous, "The Blocks" Comedy Special and now podcast. Neal Brennan! We hope you enjoy as much as we did getting to hang with this comedy giant, lots of zingers in this one, you may have to watch it twice. Give "The Blocks Podcast" a watch/listen. You can catch Mark's episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXshTUqgG2U Neal Brennan: https://www.nealbrennan.com/ Mark Normand: http://marknormandcomedy.com/ Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Get the best deal on a phone at https://mintmobile.com/drunk Dress like a drunk at https://theblacktux.com/drunk Pretty Litter: https://www.PrettyLitter.com/Drunk Support the show, and try Honey for free at https://JoinHoney.com/WMBD Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com/shop Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/    

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You look like shit. What are you doing? I love this shirt, but when it's wrinkled, it is a train wreck. How is it wrinkled? You're wearing it in back-to-back EPS. Am I? Give me a coat or something there, Peters. This is embarrassing.

I wore that on the last one. Shit in my ass. All right. Well, we're rolling. It's all right. This is good content. The people love the wrinkled shirt content. Yeah.

Good content. Really seems to good. You know, I still have lovely. Oh, we got Stephanie. And I want to try her paper plane because we didn't try a paper plane last time. Yeah. Let's cheers. Stephanie, thank you so much for joining us.

Hey. Oh, that's good. That's a really good paper plane. Wow. Where'd you learn that? At my job. One of the senior bartenders gave me some really great, like, classic recipes. oh that's good that's a really good paper plan Wow where'd you learn that all right Sarah what where do you work Oh, okay.

They get upset when you assume it's vegan. Right. I'm saying that. Oh, we missed all that. Should we redo it? I'm a pretty loud talker. We'll do subtitles. Is it tough when you got a little turkey sandwich on your cheek and they're like, hey, you bitch?

It is devastating to bring McDonald's in there. That's aggressive, though. I know, but occasionally you can't help but want a McChicken, you bitch. It is devastating to bring McDonald's in there. You feel... Oh. That's aggressive, though. I know. But occasionally, you can't help but want a McChicken, you know? But if you bring it in, I always feel dastardly bringing something like that. It's like bringing your kid to a strip club. Yeah. They're like, bring him back in a few years.

Right, right. Yeah. It's tough. Damn. All right. Vegetarian spot. Where is it? It's Flatiron Near 14th Street

Union Square Oh nice Flatiron Very close to here Underrated area Great spot That nomad They call it now

Yeah North of Madison But it sounds more badass Than it is Nomad yeah That's a hot spot You got the What is it

What's that park Gramercy Madison Square Park Madison Square Park Yeah that's a great park. Madison Square Garden was. That's why it's called Madison Square Garden. Then it moved to 34th Street.

There you go. Hopefully it stays there. Apparently baseball was invented in that park. Really? Fun fact. Admiral Doubleday. Huh? That's the guy who invented it.

Who is it? Admiral Doubleday. Whoa. My favorite Star Wars character. Give that a goog, though. I might be off. Admiral Doubleday. Yeah. The hell is that? That's a whole person. Whoa. My favorite Star Wars character. Give that a goog, though. I might be off. Admiral Doubleday. Yeah.

The hell was that? That's a whole person. Huh. Wow. Crazy that baseball had to be invented. They had to go, all right, we'll do bases. You'll spit. Then you'll pat my ass.

Like, you know, they had to come up with all this shit. It says Madison Square Park baseball. Yeah. Well done, bud. I got a couple. 1845. Wow. It hasn't changed a lick.

Still slow. Yeah. Definitely, the players look different. Yeah. They all looked like fat tubs of shit back then. Now they all look like Thor. The long hair. Right.

I mean, have you seen pictures now? They look like Noah Sindergaard. Yeah, that's true. But then you got the Dominicans, too. Oh, man, with the chains. This is what a pussy I am. I'm like, I don't think I'd be able to swing a bat with a chain that big around my neck. They're just like running while it's bouncing on their chest.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I watch UFC, and they're in the corner after fucking fighting for three rounds, and the guy's like wiping shit off like he just got a cut that's how big of a pussy I am like easy on his face with the rag that probably feels like oh yeah look at look at that fupa Chris Christie's got a

fat upper pussy area look at that I saw him at Newark like a week ago and he's just this big oompa loompa oh that's a that's hilarious it's like Laurel and Hardy shit but he's just slap his arm and ride loompa. Oh, that's hilarious. That's like Laurel and Hardy shit. Did he slap his arm and ride the waves back home from the airport? Jesus Christ. He was in a big yellow shirt and everybody was shaking his hand.

He looked like Big Bird. That is terrible form. Yeah. I saw Bill Clinton flying public when I went down to Key West. No way. Wait, Bill Clinton? Bill Clinton. On a corporate

or commercial airline. Commercial airline, yeah. Damn. He just had three Well, it makes sense. I mean, how, like, flying private's expensive. I know, but he's Clinton.

He's an ex-prez. Yeah, but what do you think he just, he flew private for a while but then he's on some fucking sheets. Ah, yeah, good point. Good point.

Epstein flight logs? Yeah. Maybe Delta's not the worst option. Yeah. He was in some sheets, too. But, wow, Clinton. point. Epstein flight logs. Maybe Delta's not the worst option. He was in some sheets, too. But, wow, Clinton. Yeah.

How'd he look? Was he at McDonald's? He looked thin, kind of grandfatherly. Ah, a little sunken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. He lost some of that McDonald's weight, for sure. Yeah.

Remember that? He was a chubbier guy for a minute. Oh, yeah. A little hefty. He had a heart surgery, right? I believe so. Yeah. Remember that Phil Hartman sketch of him at McDonald's eating everybody's food? That was a great sketch.

So funny. It must be tough to be out of shape and a cheater. Because that's a lot of pressure on your heart. Yeah, good point. A lot of anxiety. Tony Soprano, he was always dealing with shit. Also, Viagra is horrible for your heart. Is it?

Oh, yeah. Good old Phil Hartman. Also, Viagra is horrible for your heart. Is it? Oh, yeah. Good old Phil Hartman. Oh, look at Tim Meadows. Kevin Nealon. Yep. Arkansas. Man, who is funnier than Phil Hartman?

Nobody's better than Phil Hartman. Ellen Kleghorn. That means African princess, doesn't it? Why, yes! Well, she certainly is beautiful enough to be a princess. So you can finish these fries. Just a fat joke, but it's so elaborate. But it's like, not play... That was, by the way, that was the 90s.

Like every joke was like, whatever fat so. And you're like, you rewatch it, you're like, all right, you gotta. Lay off me,

I'm starving. You know, that was also a 90s fat joke. But at least that was a little more like, cartoony than just, I feel like a lot of punchlines were just you're fat. Oh yeah,

for sure. I did a show with Chris Christie. Yeah. But I said fat upper pussy area. I tried to keep it a little classy. That was elevated fat humor, Salamanca. Fupa sounds like a Brazilian restaurant. That's hard to get into.

You got into fupa? Holy shit. I'm going to try Stephanie's. This is an old-fashioned you made us? Let's share this. Oh. Oh, no. Let's share it.

Make another. Come on. I want one. If you don't mind. Of course. Thanks. No, no Now I got my own coming I got my paper plane here I'll wait

I know you gotta get out of here, Steph We appreciate you coming here Any peeves, Stephanie? Anything bothering you lately? The spy balloon? Oh, Walker? No no i'm just kidding did you see like the picture at least maybe it wasn't a real picture but it was like people throwing things up oh really i don't know if it was real or not i did not see that that's fun i assume that's how greta thunberg gets around it seemed like her mode of transportation waving waving like this how dare you

wow yeah what do you got today I know you got your kids in the car downstairs but other than that I have work tonight actually oh really and is that a cool bar it is a cool bar it's a small bar and there's at most two of us behind it well if we have the

bar back there's a few more of us but it's very small and it services the whole thing. So it's a little hectic and crazy, but once you get the rhythm going, it's really good. All right. What's your favorite drink to make there? We have a pomegranate mezcalita. Woo!

Look who it is. Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil, Neil. All right. You guys had to start, You do it live or something? It's live, dude. It's live streaming, like Louis Special. A promo to Louis Special? Yeah, which he got out before Rock, which I think was intentional.

You think so? Yes. You know, comics says petty cunts. I think he was like, oh, Rock's doing one? I'll knock it out first. But we'll get into that later. I got soup for me oh can you hold off on the soup i don't know what do you think is it funny bring the soup can i dip pita let me get

yeah i need four pieces of bread four pieces of bread works are you gonna drink who's the jew here this is so confusing I have a lot of Jews. I know. You are a Jew-y Irishman. Tell me about it. Hi, everybody. It's me, Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan, everybody. Yeah. Alright. Oh, is this chicken noodle, I assume?

It's from a cart. They wouldn't give me an extra piece of pita. Damn. The boss won't allow it. You got street soup? Yeah. Wow. I love it. So we'll see we'll see all right are you vegan to quote the yeah i'm like at least vegetarian sorry um hi how are you this is stephanie hello stephanie um did i hear a theo vaughn quote coming we'll see oh okay would you mind making one extra paper plane just so Neil can at least try it? Yeah.

I generally don't like hard alcohol. You're going to like this. Trust me. I will? Yeah. What are you guys doing not on my phone on Instagram? Shouldn't you guys be on my phone on Instagram doing crowd work right now? What are you doing here?

I got a spy balloon going up today, actually. I love it. Should I yell out a suggestion to you guys while we wait, man? Well, we don't want to burn material. The earthquake. The earthquake in Turkey. Great comedian. But you are grandfathered in, and Mulaney just made it by a labia hair with the not having to put clips out.

I think our level. I beg your pardon. You guys, you both sell more tickets than me, so... Oh, okay. I guess it's working. You guys... We are aggressive with clips. Yeah.

You are, Ian. We're both very aggressive with clips. What is the plan? What's the plan? One guy... I've got guys going, I never heard you before. Somebody share me this clip.

No, I'm saying how many do you try to do? Oh, as many as possible. Yeah. If it's good, I'll throw it up. I don't have like... Do you have like every day no not every day no i go every three that's my move really thank you yeah you're active in my thing all right um it feels like more than that more than well are you annoyed

when you see that much crowd work no i i think i've asked you both this individually i worry that just people are yelling out the whole time. If I release crowd work shit, I just wouldn't want people yelling out shit when I'm trying to do other bits. I do sections I do that. Do you say, like, shut the fuck up, I'll get to you? Yeah. Okay. A lot of time I'll do it, I'll say, let's do this at the end.

Or I'll say, all right, let's talk a little bit. Like, sometimes I like to just break up the material like if you listen to like old Dangerfield he'd do so many joke joke joke and then he'd be like he'd do crowd work I'm like I think he just is breaking up that rhythm yeah so many so Rodney Dangerfield he's a comedian um that I'm sponsoring called Rodney Dangerfield hold on you might want to drink some soup go for it pretty gross hopefully you can slurp what's's going on, fellas? How are you? Good.

We just had Alison Brie on, so it's nice to have a comedian. She was great, but it's a different energy. Oh, she has like, she wants to talk about stuff. She doesn't have bits. Got two publicists here. I made a black joke. It got weird. It did get weird.

But I get it. She's a real star. But she was a great girl she was fun and she was really good well that's the problem is when you start dealing with better guests you have to worry about like a team and shit yes exactly and it's a bit mark classed it up he only farted silently which i thought was pretty a nice touch huge growth for you that wasn't easy um yeah that's yeah that happens i didn't i haven't i've only had um seven people on mine so far on my new podcast blocks now streaming um you guys these guys are

both coming up today and tomorrow uh but yeah like i'm natasha leone's doing like just once you're into like it's like okay and you just kind of have to play that. Yeah. That would suck to be an actor. I mean. Oh, as a job? Yeah, well, just, I mean, I get acting is fun, but you can't really emote. They, well, it would, I would be fucking petrified all the time if I was an actor. Of course, that's what I'm saying.

Because you can't, you're just waiting for someone, like, what should I say? Everyone you meet, you're like, do you have anything I can say? Right. And we can write a new joke. They have to like audition. They have to get a gig. Well, she's writing and making her own movies now. On a bigger level, yeah.

Where she can make her own stuff. But I know what you mean. If you're an actor who's not quite that big and you do the slightest thing wrong, they're like, well, we'll just get the person who didn't say that shit about Asian people or whatever. Yeah. That's terrifying yeah well there's that the easily replaceable thing but there's also like you can't generate your own material right right louis louis is back matt lauer is not there you go you know that's a t-shirt they should have sold that as merch um yeah you're absolutely right.

And you can't. Yeah, you have to write your way out of everything. Right, right. And you need a publicist. And it's scary. But I think that's why comedy is so popular. Because I think people are like, I got to go out and hear some shit. Because I can't say it.

Right. No one's allowed to say anything. And then you guys have you got a little canceled a long time ago right time ago and then that was nothing but it was like nothing have you gotten a you got dinged once right yeah you get the twitter shit every now and then you know but we're all here right that's the thing is if you can like survive it yeah if you i mean i still think the best way to do it is just ignore it which is kind of what i feel like you did yeah that's you but then sometimes you can't like a gillis thing is this soup everything you're gonna like this this is a good cocktail is it sugary a little

bit a little tart little very good though she's a pro oh that was not a fake noise that was not a fake i didn't like that drink noise that was literally i can't believe people drink alcohol really i need because i don't like the feeling so it's not like that's worth it right right see that's a gift i wish i didn't like alcohol i always say that save it for my podcast i I always say alcohol, drinking alcohol is like, it's like giving oral sex. No one's there for the taste. Oh, that's good. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. But like a whore, you learn to love it over time. But also you don't have to woo a cocktail. That's true too. Yes. The cocktail, you're just like, I'll have a cocktail. But you do have to like show ID to meet the, you know what I mean? Like there is a level of like, I'm doing a lot of shit to have to drink this bad. Right.

Not even bad. Just like not the greatest flavor. Yeah. But weirdly, you only have to be 21 to drink. You can fuck at 11. Whatever number was coming out. Yeah. drink you can fuck it 11 yeah well lino ardecaprio is different than other people but you know he's grandfathered into dating literally not yeah he's got the 19 now that's young 19 yeah that's the new 19 is too young he's a really model he can get away with it he can get away with it but it's too young yeah it's no it is to the point where away with it. He can get away with it, but it's too young. Yeah.

No, it is to the point where even his friends are going to be like, dude, what are you doing? She can't come out to the bar. Literally, can't get in. He has to go out to the parking lot every couple minutes. Like, I got to go feed the meter. DiCaprio even parked at a meter. Her high school was derailed by COVID. Legit. Yeah, good point.

Someone on Twitter just said that about DiCaprio. Yeah. His girlfriend's high school was derailed by COVID. That's wild. That's fucking hilarious. That's really, that's a good tweet. 19 is too young. What are you talking? She hadn't seen half his movies.

His high school was derailed by the portable phone. Literally, he was in high school in 1989. Yeah, the Challenger. That's so insane. Yeah, that's funnier. Yeah, by the Spatial Challenger. Yeah, so I don't know what we were talking about.

Oh, we were talking about legal age of sex. Yes, yes. You're married now. Tell us about that. It's wild. It's all the same, but the government is involved, as Stan Hope would say. Yeah. But, you know, she wanted to do it.

I'm trying to be nice. Those were his vows. Yeah. Got pretty awkward. So what are we doing here? That was your vows? Like, yeah, all right. Yeah, that's...

Yeah. By the way, the wedding is so... It was beautiful. She killed it. She planned the whole thing, and it was really pretty. You were there. Yeah. But it's so uncomfortable.

There's so much attention, the vows and the chapel. What do you call it? You literally perform at shows every night for much bigger audiences. Yeah. It's brutal. It's brutal. Your whole family's there. It was brutal because you had to be a person.

Yes, exactly. And being a person is so much more exhausting than doing stand-up it really is so fucking embarrassing it's embarrassing i had eight that's when people go people go i could never be a comedian we should all go i could never be a person it's more tiring that's how it feels now it's the point where my brother said a long time ago he said you'll you know you've been doing stand-up long enough when you're comfortable on stage and uncomfortable at the grocery store. Oh, boy. I don't think any of us are there,

but I talked to Ronnie Chang about the amount of birthday parties we're able to miss. Isn't it great? I mean, that should be part of the offer when they offer us gigs. You get 80% of the door, and you get to miss that brunch. Yes. That brunch that your girlfriend really wants you to go to. Because every gig or every social thing is you got to put a governor on.

I'm putting a governor on my true self the whole time. And then when you do stand-up, you you go all right Jews you know or whatever it is you're dying to yell out Jews that's it you've got you've got Jew Tourette's I got I got Jewish Tourette's you're right yeah but it's everything it's Holocaust well that's true too but you know black trans whatever all the stuff you're not supposed to. I'm like Roger Rabbit behind the wall. Two bits. I just want to yell queef at this funeral. It is fun to be at the place where I get to say, like, hey, fatties. It's fun.

Yeah, it's fun. I get an Instagram ding. They're like, we're trying to keep this a pleasant place. And I'm like, I'm joking. Oh, my God. The community guidelines. Now it's HR. Now we have to deal with HR.

HR is bomb. That's what community guidelines are. On Twitter? Not Twitter. Twitter's the last place, really. Oh, because thank God St. Elon figured it out. Yeah. Well, they can't have...

Porn stars are just posting videos of them taking three dicks. They can't censor jokes. That would be pretty fucked up. We're getting dicks are better than jokes, I think, now. Well, I'll tell that to Lou. Well, you had... Also, you had that... Do you have the joke about the the locker room or the locker the thing in the picture in your locker uh like something someone's trans and they're like oh it's a hero oh yeah yeah

that's great i forgot about that joke geez well you have so many great jokes and it must be hard to remember i don't remember it goes a little something no but it is amazing on instagram that they could just literally you're basically seeing tits but then you do a joke where you just say the word nazi even if you're making fun of nazis and they're like nope because it's a computer doing it now yeah it's a d it's a robot that can't detect sarcasm. Exactly, or irony. Yeah. Yeah, but Seinfeld once had a great line.

Somebody goes, how do you remember all the acts? And he goes, how does a cab driver remember where to go? You wrote it. You know it. You do it every day. Well, ways now, though. Yeah, that's true. Well, I was going to say, that's like an old, who was this Seinfeld you speak of?

I'm a young person. No, yeah, they used to have to know. But he's, I fuck up jokes sometimes. You ever fuck up? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Like when you're, when you think about changing a word, but you don't,

you're like, I should rewrite that line. And then you're like on stage, and you're like, wait, did I rewrite it? Oh, yeah. As you're going over the about to say it, and you're like, nah, nah. Yeah, I've definitely done that. And then you flub the line because you're thinking about how to change it i get that and i was in vancouver with gary veder on uh over the weekend and you do that thing where you're mid-set and

you're like this joke's not gonna work in canada oh yeah it's building to a reference and you're like oh no i had a punch line that was Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. And they were just like, oh. So they don't have that? No. Oh, shit. But then you get to riff off that. But you don't realize it's one of the things.

I'm like, shit, I have to. You forget. It's right there. It worked in fucking Seattle. But just two hours north. Yeah, they don't have Venmo in Canada. I saw Mulaney have a whole venmo bit and then he was like you don't have venmo like like oh my god i just realized do you not have

venmo and they were like no and he was like oh fuck oh that's that's happened to me most recently when i was doing a black room and i had what i now realize which I didn't hear what you said. Fathers. We don't have those. I had what I realize is like a white closer. And I was like, oh, fuck. Like, I'm halfway in. What is it, Dave Matthews? What's the closer?

It was just, it was actually about Louie, which they don't care about. You know what I mean? Like, they just have no. That was another great Louie line. He goes, you find out who your friends are. Yeah, no, they're't care about. You know what I mean? Like, they just have no... Say it again? That was another great Louis line. He goes, you find out who your friends are. Yeah, no, they're friends. Yes.

But, like, in L.A., on... You can't still be listening to R. Kelly and turn on Louis. Right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Goodbye. So, forgetfulness. Canada.

Now, what else is happening with you guys? You're married. You you're what are you doing i'm single he's living it up yeah you're single yeah i feel like i am a like you guys had a baby and a slightly older than you baby where i have your vocal inflections and like a bit of your fucking uh fucking add and fucking anxiety yeah and a bit of like i might have fucking i might be on the spectrum right um and there's a lot of joke autism in here yeah this is this might be uh uh uh early mount rushmore a joke autism yeah for sure but do you do you uh like being single or is that not your thing

it's got pros and cons i don't you know what the past week i've realized i i i'd like being alone with that includes men and women like i like same a friend of mine has an object it's it dorothy parker said it also but my friend said it i think she didn't know but dorothy parker in terms of like being with a person she said i don't always want to be a perceived oh like i just don't want to be like i just don't want two eyeballs looking at me right like you got four right here i hate it yeah no i'm saying like i just don't want a person sure i'm getting to the point where podcasts are the only way i can deal with people i it's because you're like at least they can plug dates at the end yeah well no and it's like we get to talk like the best of our thoughts right like here's

a thought i had that might be worth discussing. And it's a fixed amount of time. And then we monetize it. Am I right? No, but I just don't always want a person around. And I'm just getting, I'm just accepting it more. Yeah. Because my show, the block show, now streaming on netflix is like uh it's a lot of it's like i don't like that part of myself but a bit of it's like i don't mind it of course like i

there are advantages and i also think it's easy to be a single guy than a single woman yeah because we don't have to worry about like safety yes like physical safety totally yeah we're two of the toughest guys out there neil i mean no but you're big you look like you're tall so so like you would have an ease like he and i will add to quote brian callen will keep you busy in a fight we've got scrap you'll you'd be we'd all open with sarcasm, obviously. Yes, yes. Oh, yeah. I grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood and went to public school.

So without zingers, I would be still in a locker. And they called them zingers, right? They go, Mark, let's hear some of those new zingers. They called them snaps back then. I love snaps. That was fun. Your mama jokes? Yeah, come on.

I had a book of them. I had to have the book on me because i needed them but yeah you're right it's uh we're not tough i don't you have but i don't but i also believe that whatever we are all monsters and we could figure it out if like we were attacked physically but sure uh i think it's easier to be a single guy than a single girl. And I also think we're in a fortunate position. As a guy. We're all fortunate people career-wise. Oh, for sure. We're very lucky. And so it's not DiCaprio.

I don't know. It is DiCaprio. I'm DiCaprio's age. You guys are younger than me. So, like, it is getting a little creepy. Right. A little. Somebody the other day was like, you can't date a 31-year-old.

Like, that's too young. And to me, I'm like, 31's very old. 31's developed. I had a friend say to me that 31 is the youngest I could go. That's what I'm, they were saying like, no, they were saying that's,

no, it was a guy. That was the point was you can't go younger. I wonder if it's the same friend who said it to her. That's funny. I'm trying to remember who it even was. Yeah, maybe,

but he gets Beckinsale, gets her and drove her dating. Well, she's a hero. Yeah, exactly. That's a nice privilege on the lady side. think he the fun i was talking i think he meant it in a way where it's like they grew up with a different type of internet and phones and they can't focus in the same way but i think we're

all kind of married to our phones i think it's kind of got us all and it's also kind of insulting like hey these 31 year old ladies they don't know any better it's like well well that's the hard part it's like giving a woman her agency and then but also being like you're not ready yeah exactly you might as well call him sweetie like look sweetie i know what i'm like you can't handle it exactly which one is it uh i got it's both it's whichever one favors them at the time. You know the Ted Alexander joke? This is a great single joke. Being single, it's a struggle between loneliness and euphoria.

That's very funny. You know where it's like, you know, loneliness right before you go to bed at night, euphoria the whole fucking rest of the time. Yeah, that's a great joke. That's a legit Billy Joel line. Oh, really? Yeah.

I have some bad news. That was actually guys that wasn't ted alexandro that was weird al yankovic he's wearing the outfit yeah patrice had a great line of uh i men don't want to be alone but we want to be by ourselves or one of them like we watch it around yeah yeah watch it around. Yeah, it's such a profound point. Yeah, and I don't even know if I want that sometimes. What is it and why is it, do you think?

It's that thing of judgment. I just don't want to be the – I had the thought this week. I may not want to be the version of me that you like the best. Ah-ha, yes. I just want to be the version that I like you like the best ah yes i just want to be the version that i like the best who is on his phone if i make changes it's because i want to make them it's not because uh fahim has a great joke uh fahim anwar the great comic yep excellent i always said he was a great opener he used to open for me and and I was like, he seems great because he's got great jokes and no confidence. True comic.

So it's basically white women just expect that you're going to grow and change for them. Right. Whereas like Puerto Rican women will be like, he just yells. That's great. Like that's just what they so this idea that i'm supposed to change to for her i believe personally in relationships no notes oh i like that well i

don't give them don't get married no i know that's why i don't think i would take i could take it you want an fx show but what's out there is network. Yeah. Yes. That's absolutely right. I like just, I'm, by the way, I don't give them. Yeah. I don't give notes. So like, it's all like as is.

Yeah. I'm like a chef that's like no substitutions. But they always come like right when you get comfortable. That's what's annoying. They always come like two to three months and you can't give notes out of the gate so it's right so it's right when you're kind of like in a place you're like oh this is like kind of a cool person and then they hit you and you're like fuck yeah what's that old quote um i thought we were going straight to serious what's that old quote women oh shit women expect men women get married. Expecting a man to change and men.

Yeah. Men. It should autofill by now. Come on, Google. I married you because I liked you. You're marrying me hoping I'll be different later. It's kind of a weird. Women marry men hoping they'll change.

Men marry women hoping they will not. Yes. So each is inevitable. And that's Einstein, for Christ's sake. We're doing great comedy quotes. Nick Griffin's Einstein bit. You know that one? No. About how Einstein's divorced.

They should tell you that. It shouldn't be, do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? It should be, do you think you're smarter than Einstein? That's brilliant. Nick Griffin underrated. Nick Griffin. Some of the most philosophical relationship bits out there is Nick Griffin. Absolutely.

It's insane. relationship bits out there is nick griffin absolutely it's insane but that joke about the pool the dating pool when you're young when you're in your 20s it's it's like adult swim and then in your 40s it's like a like a public pool i'm fucking it up but that's the basics of it he's got so many of my i know i know but you know what it is it's it's makeup like you know a woman's like ah i gotta go out i don't want to go out. I got to put makeup on. That's how you feel on your phone. You're like, oh, I don't want you to see me without the makeup.

Yeah. You know, charm is men's makeup almost. Absolutely. But I was thinking you were going to go the other way, which is you don't want to go to a party because you don't want to put on makeup. Yes. You don't want to have to be. You don't want to not say Jew. Yeah, yeah, exactly. want to put on makeup yes you don't want to have to be you don't want to not say jew yeah yeah

exactly oh you got to listen to small talk and all that but it's you got to oh get out you don't say you got to be on a little bit that's uh that's our concealer that's your concealer oh you don't say is like a bit of under eye yeah and then you say like that's stupid that's your makeup cracking a little you know but is it also that you're in your head and you don't want to be disturbed that's part of it yeah that's alone time yeah yeah that's a buddy of mine used to call it his name is robert he would call it bobby time like i need some bobby time but totally but also it is embarrassing to your point like how we spend our days oh yeah it's embarrassing when someone's like what'd you do today or when someone goes you must be so busy and then you flash back

to what you've been doing you're like oh i'm very busy meanwhile it's been like fucking looking at your toenails for an hour yeah yeah scrolling youtube yeah uh but being just just being can feel busy sometimes just being that's true. That can drain you. Just thinking. Our job is to just be in your head, and you train yourself to be in your head, and think of jokes, and then being with another person and kind of breaking that rhythm after you make a living at this. It can be exhausting. Yeah. I mean, Roy Wood said that.

He said, when do you write? He goes, I'm always writing. I'm in the shower. I'm writing. I'm at the store. I'm writing. Because you're just like, oh, what's up with Cocoa Pebbles? Cereals in a bag now?

Or loofahs are weird? You're always thinking about comedy. No, it is that thing where people are like, you always on? You're like, I'm always something. Yeah, yeah, I'm always computing. I'm not trying to go for bits unless I have. I mean, I find with interacting with people, like, I try to do as little as I have to. Yes.

And then people, like, when they're engaged, then it's like, do as little as I have to. Yes. And then people like when they're engaged and it's like, okay, now I'll do something. Yes. You can, otherwise I'd rather slip through it. Yeah. We had Nate on and he was kind of a low energy and I was like,

come on, Nate. And he was like, I'm doing found later. I'm like, oh, I get it. Okay.

Oh, he didn't want to like blow his, he was great. And he's, I love Nate. I've known him for years, but I felt like he was more low energy than normal. And was like oh he's doing fallon he's got to like save it up before the fight yes no sex before the fight exactly perfect no no podcast before

fallon you know the old saying he also did not like mark farting on him that's true do you fart is that like a thing you do i mean that a segment? It is a segment. We'll be right back. When does that happen? Do I get born? He went to the bathroom. I've known Nate for 20 years. Still no excuse.

Do we have the clip of Nate's response to it? It was ugly. Because we've played it a couple of times. He's a comic. I figure, hey, I'm not farting on uh chomps i'm with him i i would be a friend of mine farted around me and i was like oh fuck like i got like mad and i said like i forgot how old you are because he's in his 20s oh we've been we've been on a tour bus lately there there's a lot of farting that's fun it's fun! You can't be that. You gotta just embrace it. I would have

rules about what compartment you can fart in. That's actually not a bad... If you gotta go by the bunks... Gary's bunk. Go hang out by the bunks, you monster. But not in the common areas. Well, I was telling him I was on a bus with Burt, Joey Diaz, Big J, Shane Gillis, and me.

First of all, it was a fart-off, and it was like a sleep apnea convention. Oh, that's so funny. It was wild. Just five bunks full of the fattest, drunkest. It's like being literally in a fucking bear cave. Yeah, exactly. Let's see. This is...

A tell wouldn't stay on the bus. Oh, really? Here we go. Look at that face. that is the face of death Actually meant it he He was pissed. Fuck, that's funny. He just looks sad. Yeah, sad.

And I'm like, my dad's not coming back. I got to say, Nate's gotten cuter. He's really cute. And he lost weight. And the gray works for him. No drinking. Yeah. That's what did it.

And he's really having a really great second act to life. And the money, too. It doesn't hurt. The money probably isn't killing him. Yeah. Although it's like Eminem if he had a CBS sitcom or something. I could see it. Like a country Eminem.

He's getting to the point where he probably has more money than he knows what to do with, though. Oh, yeah. Arenas. Is he doing arenas? He's doing the Bridgestone coming up. He's doing arenas in like weird cities too, like places that don't have a lot of comedy. In cities I couldn't sell out a club.

Exactly. He's doing arenas. He's doing arenas. Yeah. They're like, that Neil guy, he knows black people. Yeah, that's exactly. We should stay away. Look at that.

That's what I knew, Nate. They could see me in the corner laughing at his uh joke about hey that guy loved farting yeah exactly that fat fuck that guy that fat fuck loved farting and wings yep and like i don't know what his favorite show is my name is earl but the best part is that nate is in the middle middle of what he thinks is an important thought. Yeah. And Mark just goes, hold on. Just a disrespect. Gotta bring some levity here. Everybody's the star of their own operation.

Exactly. You were doing a fart sitcom. We talked about your special on this podcast before. Killer! We both really liked it a lot. Thank you very much. Killer. Really, really, really really funny you both texted you know what's interesting is and you guys will

maybe not this special but the special after that although you people stop watching your specials yeah of course people mean not like viewers people stop complimenting you oh i so it's nice when you get comics i mean comic stuff they just go like oh yeah oh yeah you got one it just becomes like a thing whereas because it feels like homework to watch special yes and no it feels like i know we mean like opposition research but at the same time like that no no but i mean but I also mean like I like comedy. Yeah. So it is, there is a part of me that it is homework, but like I only watch comedy and documentaries.

So I don't mind. I'm happy when like, oh, a good. Exactly. A good comedian is going to do comedy. Like, great. Give me. Yeah. Because there's so many specials and so many bad ones.

But I don't want too many jokes in my head. I don't want too many jokes in my head. I don't want too many jokes in my head. Thankfully, it was only 40 minutes. 43. But, you know, by the way, I'm sick of putting out long specials. I'm kind of just like, why? Why are we doing that much? I don't think it helps.

I see comics putting out like an hour 20, and I'm like, all the data is saying that people are gone by the 20th minute. Exactly. Bill Burr did an hour and a half. I'm like, Bill, save that people are gone by the 20th exactly exactly bill bird's an hour and a half i'm like bill save that last story well he doesn't do it on the road i mean he's a he can rant it out yeah i mean his last one was killer too but i mean uh but i also am very late to specials like it'll take me like a year to watch a new special a lot of the time but mark was like you got to watch neil's new one you got to watch neil's new one so like okay so i was like i made a point to watch it and i was like man it's just really uh great observational jokes man like

i love the when i hear a premise that's been done to death and there's a new spin that's why i love the dog rescue yeah yeah you found you found an angle that's like those are my favorite like well i don't want to call any premise hack but when it feels right a premise i'm like oh here we go well it's like no one was allowed to do airplane jokes for 15 years until louis did exactly like you're a like a greek god flying through the air like give it a sec that thing yes literally you were a hack if you did airline jokes before that so true and then he did it and sebastian had a decent airline list is a great airline oh yeah that's right joe list i mean there's people who have great airline bits but it's like you know i yeah i hear you premises but then it's also like you could you can make the argument like marriage jokes are hacked but then it's like all right but

then watch like tom popper yeah yeah people have great marriage jokes you know yeah people go like why do you make fun of men and women and i'm like because patrice called me and told me I was good at it. Literally, Rock and Patrice told me I was good at it. Do you mind? Right, right. Do you mind some guy if I keep doing it? People think it's, people from the outside can notice like airline jokes are hacky or gender jokes are hacky relationship or whatever. And it's like, and race jokes are tacky. Oh, you still doing that white people, black people shit?

Yeah, I'm pretty good at it. Yeah, they both still exist. You have one of my favorite ones of those too, the joke about white people. We've done felonies. Why are you calling us on misdemeanors? How does that one go again? Oh, white people, you stole jazz.

Yeah. That's actually not my joke, I don't think. No, it is. It's your bit. I remember this bit. Oh, that is a good one. No, because I'm thinking of, that's great. I feel like a young Mark Norman where people are telling me bits I've done.

You had the one about riding in the back of the squad car. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a great one. But you know the one I'm talking about where you say you stole jazz? You're like, yeah, we've done felonies. Why are you calling us on misdemeanors? That's a great joke. Yeah, that's a Neil Brennan.

That's great. Good for me. That was like a good race. Race jokes are tough. Yeah, they are harder to pull off because you can't work on them as easily. You can't workshop them because you do all white rooms. Now, yeah, so thank you for watching. They're called rallies.

But, yeah. But, no, I love Pete's Girl. That Pete's Girl joke. So thank you for watching. They're called rallies. But yeah. But no, I love Pete's Girl. That Pete's Girl joke. You know what joke is good when I'm writing and I'm like, how did that Pete's Girl joke go? Because I want to see the formula. Gaffigan has a lot of jokes where I'm like, that formula is so good, I didn't know you could do jokes like that. You know, like David Tell's, I used to do drugs, but that was way over there. That's such a great joke. I'm like, I didn't know you could do jokes like that you know like david tells uh i used to do drugs but that was way over there that's such a great joke i'm like i didn't know you could do jokes

like that if you said what's the best joke ever written uh a tells joke i'm i'm afraid to travel maybe because when i was a kid my father beat me with a globe. Yes. It's like, and I didn't even say it right. Amazing. Like fucking flawless joke. So there are certain guys where when you're writing, you're like, oh, he already got here. Yeah, for sure. Ah, fuck. I feel bad for black comics having to write against Chappelle and Rock and Patrice because

it's like, they like they're all on the same crime scene right and those guys keep finding the murder weapons and like other guys are like oh fuck that's a great point yeah they got the collar yeah like ah i had a i had a hair follicle like no i have the gun yeah no one touches rock on angles he always has the angle where you're like oh how did we all miss that one? It's right there. He had the angle when the whole Bill Clinton, Monica thing happened. And I've never seen a special, by the way.

I saw it live. He was like, Hillary's running for president. Why would you want to work in the place you got cheated on? If my girl cheated on me at Bennigan's, I ain't applying to Bennigan's or whatever the hell the joke was. And I'm like, that was right there. Nobody caught that. He got it.

He told me not to open with that dog joke. Really he's like you can't open with a dog joke i'm like it's a new one though yeah right why did he say that because it's a dog because he was subscribed to the thing of uh once you've done it's hacky so you can't uh i know what he means by uh i open with it by the way but like i know what he means by um if you ever watch a special and someone goes down one of these lanes you're like oh boy yeah yeah and i think there's a bit of that in the audience also where there's a little bit of like what are we like you can't certain topical shit you guys are smart that you hire someone in the crowd to yell out a topic um plants are getting expensive where i mean what are they 150 a show now it's fucking hey folks black tux baby we're brought to you by black tux i wore

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I had nothing to do with any of this. I'm just minding my own business. You're like Mike Myers right now. Bush does not care about black people. You can't... What the fuck was I talking about? Rock, the dog joke. Oh, yeah. Once you hear it, you kind of roll your eyes.

Sure. So he wanted you to earn... Oh, no. You can't talk about Rock and Will Smith. You had like a day. Yeah, of course. Before the audience was like, what? Yes, yes. Like, ugh, what are you talking about?

I know. Even if you're kind of like Chris can't. I know. It's hacky for him, and he was there. Right, right. It was his face. I'm sure he will, but I'm saying. Oh, my God.

People are still making references to it, and you're like, all right. And then that's his life. I can't imagine every day people just being like, so here's what I thought about it. And he's probably like, fuck off. Yeah, I'm sure it's unbearable. The problem is audiences are getting so savvy now with Redditdit and all these cunts on the the blogs and whatever like they just know about comedy so they'll be like oh that's hacky and i'm like you guys didn't know about hacky yeah they even know about hack they know about tags they'll be like oh that's a

good tag i'm like you're like a guy in a cubicle are you just saying tag but it's also good that they're this it's good because i'll take out a notebook on stage sometimes and they start applauding. Oh, really? They like that I'm working shit out sometimes. Maybe they think you're throwing your act out. Get this. They'll listen to podcasts about it. About it.

I couldn't imagine. If you can fucking believe it. Where they get drunk. Two in a day, baby. Taking the toll on my life. But it's all the same. But it is all the same. no but that's taking the toll on my life but it's all the same but it is all the same like that's why it's it's all like the level of popularity and to your earlier point of like there is no other category no one talks yeah no one's communicating ideas besides

comedians and like politicians a little bit yeah and even that's censored and yeah caged and and i'm not saying like we're the modern day philosophers they're trying it's just a but you see like why people go to 10 comedy shows a year yeah it's like yeah you'll if you seinfeld had a great joke about uh everyone at the comedy show is the funny person in their group where it's like you guys don't think you're funny right like the funny one uh so they're all the funny and then they get to go and watch someone who's like me all right he's funnier than me but like most of these comedians are not better than me a couple of them but it is scary like you know black friends are like you're like hanging out with them you're like oh man this is all better than me. A couple of them. But it is scary. Like, you know, black friends, you're hanging out with them,

you're like, oh man, this is all better than my act. And then I'll see guys on Twitter, I'll write a joke on Twitter that I'm kind of proud of, and somebody will go, you should have said this. And I'm like, he's right, and this is some guy in Ohio, you know, with two kids. It's rare, but it happens. We're phoning in some of those tweets.

That's true. Let's be honest. Some of these tweets are fine um and some of these are two for deals with the plants you go you'll it's 150 you'll yell out a premise and you'll do a tweet the next day i was proud of that hey r kelly's like in covet 19 too old for him tweet joking good for you thank you um we're just like two friends watching and everybody like whatever you gotta do pal whatever you gotta do to get off god well that's where the business is now is where i'm like oh i haven't tweeted in two days let me throw something up just so people don't forget i'm alive yeah do you how often do you well you guys are never not on the road right no but like you're you've never

you don't go like i really special now i'll stop it's tough what else do we do yeah i kind of stay in the city and write i don't write we've talked about this where i don't really write well at home i don't the cellar's a tough place to write for me because you're literally following some new guy who's got a killer 15. Yeah, right. And he's just ripping. I go up there and I'm going to do, I'm going to open mic it.

I can do new shit, but I write better on the road. Same. Or if I do an hour in one of those side rooms at the cellar. And you have that hotel room that's just quiet and empty. Yeah, you kind of can do nothing but work

and jack off and you're like, I'm not jacking off, I'm working. That's like no jacking off for those first couple weeks maybe like a late night one now you're right it's about tell me more about this okay so there i was the best western this is interesting now what is this no but i am curious what do you mean you won't jack off no i just will try to like work on my next three hours like just work just. You ever you ever take like 50 minutes of you jack off and you take 50. Yes. 50 minutes.

And you're like, why did I just fucking spend that much time? Totally. Because you were using your mind and not watching porn. No, no, no. No. I'm like that. I could really. Yeah.

50 minutes. Yeah. You learn from us. But and you're like, what did i just do i think that's we're doing foreplay with ourselves oh yeah but also keeping a boner for 50 minutes at our age at our age pretty good you do have to pick at a certain point you meet those people who still play video games and i'm like you can't jack off and play video games that's a good point when do you get shit done yeah yeah well that's do you still play video games. And I'm like, you can't jack off and play video games. That's a good point. When do you get shit done? Yeah.

Well, do you guys play video games? No, I don't touch them. I have the console and I never use it. I just don't play it. That's a funny thing that I never thought of that may be why we are in the higher percentile of jokes written. Because I don't. 15 years ago, I was like, i can't do this yeah i literally can't you just feel i can't live another life yes i can't be a character and go like i got a new shirt my character just i got a new pack right with they got the the uh funny socks yeah and like i can't i cannot feel the same

feeling after you jack off where you're like what was that for why did i do that you know at least have you do you not have orgasms i do but do you not have regret not after a jerk not after 50 minute 55 are to an hour. Are you guys watching of age porn? Is that why? You got any links? Cut it. For his sake.

Yeah, I don't regret jerking. I mean, the only thing I regret is the time I spent. Yeah, no, I'm with you on that. But it also feels like a silly to do it in like three minutes. If you jack off for 50 straight minutes, you're not like, fuck, I could have been. You don't have that writing guilt where you're like, I could have. Well, it's just weird. But I want to enjoy.

Look, how much time do you have? Sam, I want to enjoy it. I need to know more. Are you wearing this hat while you're jerking off? Three minutes. I don't want to fucking just do three minutes. Yeah. That feels like weird.

Yeah. A quickie with yourself is weird. What? A quickie with yourself is weird what? a quickie with yourself is weird exactly right so we gotta find a middle ground that's like coming out and doing your closer exactly yeah you gotta open up gotta pull the notes out but it is sad when you get too into a jerk like you got a one leg up on the bathroom

counter and you're in the mirror and you're sweating and the water's been running for a while and you're like oh you jizzed on the sink you've been married too long this is a year ago the maid screaming housekeeping fuck you that that helps me um do you have somebody i won't say who it was, but at Montreal one year, this is slightly related, he had sex with the maid. What? At the hotel. And he's like, afterward, I wanted to cry. It was such a miracle.

Oh, my God. Yes. It's like never happened. Was this the Silvio Berlusconi new faces? No, I don't. Who it is is crazy. Wow. Really?

He's not like, oh, yeah, that guy. It's like not categorically that different from Ralphie May. Whoa. Vanette. Vanette. Vanette. Louis Anderson. Vanette, you son of a bitch.

Yeah, so pretty great. It's very fun. That's fun. Big J. Wow, Lavelle Crawford. I didn't know you had it in you. Son of a big gun. Anyhow, so you guys, so how do you write jokes?

I'm kidding. What's your process? So you guys never, and do you feel like the people at the beginning of the tour get a shittier show than the people at the end of the tour? I don't know. There's a difference because at the beginning of the tour, you're all amped up. By the end of the tour, I'm grizz's difference because the beginning of the tour you're all amped up by the end of the tour i'm grizzled i'm hung over all the jokes work yeah but i'm about to do a special i'm terrified of this new beginning like the whole starting over thing like you just started over so did you well i was lucky that i had i wrote the show kind of before covet so So then I would put jokes in during.

So when I was done, I had like 40. Oh, wow. 30 to 40. I've never been to that. That's why I was able to go on tour. NeilBrenner.com. I was able to go on tour immediately. While I was having a hit of press.

I was like, like oh put tickets on sale wow that's really nice what about you because are you going out there with new shit i'd say like 45 of it's pretty good and then the rest of it is you know i'll throw an old bit a topical bit i'll figure stuff out do people know that it's an old bit can you tell in the laugh like ah there's a bit of they know this maybe some of them do but at the same time like you know uh i do it at the very end so it's kind of like they're like whatever it's like you know i don't think they care they also at this point with like the whiskey and the podcast and like the sort of they just want to spend time with you guys i know they want to they just want to spend time with you guys.

I know, I know. They just want to be around you. Which is dangerous because I've seen a lot of comics go from comic and then podcast is their main thing after a while. And you want to stay, I think, comic first. Yeah. But I don't know how to avoid it because Burr has had a podcast his whole run. But he's always comedy. That's what I'm saying like his

it never i don't know what he does on the like well he ran on the podcast alone though which is like it is kind of like marin's opening too it's a kind of figuring out a bit you can sure yeah you know yeah so i'm always curious like you can tell when someone podcasts a lot because they get huge responses for something you don't understand. Exactly. Exactly. They do inside jokes and stuff. And they're like, yeah, you guys know my pet mouse.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. We have to take a vow today to never fall into that trap, guys. So. I got blocks. Yeah. And how's marriage?

Oh, yeah. It's the oh yeah it's the same it's the same but now if you fuck we fucked in the living room last night and it was like oh wow this is this is new again you know how did you end up well i don't want to get too much i am an open never how often were you fucking two years ago and how often are you fucking now? Well, uh, I'd say two years ago, it was probably like, I don't know,

twice a week, three times a week. And then now it's probably the road is tough and good because when you come back, you immediately bang because I'm all like, I gotta, I can't walk straight up. So you're doing the guy from the New York times that Trump was doing the

impression. I'm doing late, uh, Muhammad ali but uh but yeah so then then you get that immediate bang which is good but then you kind of have your married thing where you're like well we banged right we're good for a couple of nights that was like today right yeah it was three days ago exactly exactly is it is there like a time or do you make a or do you say, do you want to fuck? What's the? We try to do, I heard a good piece of advice. Keep dating after you're married. Other people. No, keep dating your wife. So like I took her out.

We went to a jazz club. We got a couple drinks. And then I was making an athletic green in the kitchen while drunk. And she made a move. Promo code. Banging. Yeah, exactly. And and then uh yeah we went at it reminds me this day i went on the other day i was i just went on stamps.com man it got her in the mood it was crazy that stamp won't fall off the letter i'll tell you that it'll be sticky have you guys had purple carrot now when i'm cooking a meal with a new gal is one of my favorite things to do.

That's what I call my erection, too. Purple carrot. After that, you might need a blue apron. And I think it helps. I heard Gary Goldman say, like, during the pandemic, we were all kind of getting a little stir crazy and whatnot. He goes, shave, guys. If you shave, it, like, keeps you sane. And I think with a lady lady if you're married she

was like wearing high heels and these thigh high things and all that cleavage so she got all dulled up and i think that made her more into it as well so that was a part of just the the cleavage and the thing was that the other night or that was that was the other night so like she was looking great and she felt great because women have a thing we're like i can't have sex if i don't feel so it's so isn't it the craziest i've never felt sexy it's so weird where they're like i don't feel anything you're like fucking get in line exactly that's not the point of this the point of this is not to feel sexy i'd be a virgin at least i'd not feel safe for a second yeah like i related to that too well they don't mean either you'll leave at some point sam what did

you laugh at in that joke hey sam can i speak to you for a second over here um yeah you don't yeah that thing of they have to i'm also it's a thing i've noticed about women again this is so like broad and hacky like women's outfits but they think outfits are like an opening move they think it's an activity interesting they think it's like if we go like we took a helicopter to the party right we dropped in on a helicopter on the lawn that's how they go like well i was wearing those heels right or like i was wearing my red caftan. Yeah. Yeah.

You're so right. It's a weird thing where it's like a big, it's like the first, the opening chess move. Totally. And she'll be like, we have this event coming up. I have no clothes. I'm like, all you do is buy clothes and you have no clothes now? Yeah. You have two closets full of horseshit.

Dangerfield. You got three closets full of nothing to wear. Yeah. I'm going to come out of one but uh but yeah it's like all these clothes and she's like i need i need an outfit it's like having needing a new car or something well that that's right they it's maybe it's like new bits maybe it's like new bits where they want they when we say we have like we if we have to speak at an event, that's the same amount of pressure. Exactly. Like, oh, I got to give a toast.

They're like, I have to give my outfit is a toast. Right. Right. They have. It's like, yeah, there's something like weirdly like, what do you think is happening? But someone else made your toast. Yeah. They wear it to say nothing yes yeah but

she'll watch all these 90 day or what the bachelor and um housewives who all these retarded shows and i'm like why do you watch it she's like i love the outfits she's looking at their outfits like we look at bits like oh that's a great people tell you about your did they like your outfit on the netflix mine yeah yeah you had a cool outfit. You know what people say, like women especially, they're like, I really liked your shirt. Yeah. I'm like, my shirt. Look at this thing.

Jesus. Yeah. But people are like, what are you going to wear? I don't know. No iron or anything. Yeah, I don't see the big deal about shirts. Gay Dracula right across the... It's a free shirt.

What's the big deal with shirts? Did you wake up in a dumpster today? What the hell happened? I get it because fashion's important to me. Also, gay Dracula I like a raglan or whatever you call these but it's just wrinkled yeah it'll iron out you're wearing the same shirt next week it says fart nugget another band uh I do feel like the three of us have the same.

Maybe it's a call it autism. Call it really liking comedy. Yeah. Like whenever I hear someone go, someone sent me a clip of like these guys talk about you guys. I remember you guys going like, oh, that fucking guy's got a great life. Yeah. Like talking about me having a bunch of comedy activities, doing different comedy shit. hilarious and but it's i i agree with you do you know what i mean like i agree with you about like yeah this is fun it's the best and it's like a exciting i'm excited that i'm in comedy that's why you don't need to

play video games you don't need a second life because you like your life yes right it's not gonna be better than going to the club and getting a huge fucking laugh yeah and getting a new bit to work and that's that's what i'm talking about the regret and the shame from the the masturbating i know i need to do it to clear shit out but i still feel shame because i'm like nothing makes me feel as good as a new joke will make me feel right you know but can you squeeze a joke out like that? Pardon them. Don't fart. Wait a minute. Mark, don't.

Look, I know you want to. I know your asshole is doing a Roger Rabbit right now. I'll burp. That's the compromise. Do you see? It can work. No, it's hard to write new jokes, but I think the challenge then is like, well, can I at least get like a good topical one,

something that's like I get extra points because I clearly wrote it that day. Yes. Like a headline thing. Yeah. It's like even if it's not great, it's just keeping your shit tight. The machine is going to stay strong if I keep working at it.

Right. It's also boring if you don't have a new joke. Yeah. Like there are nights where if i go to the store i live in la uh we have a seller in la called the store and uh and uh if i had don't have a new joke i'm like what am i doing this for i feel that way too like what am i to i know it works so what am i doing calibrating and again, there's something to be said for, like, just getting on stage and doing it. But if you don't have at least a new line or something, it's like, what the fuck am I?

I know. You feel bad about yourself. And you say, like, you know, Mark and I will have people yell shit out and stuff. But it is boredom because we are on the road every week. And it's like, how many times can I do these jokes? I need to challenge myself. I need to come up with something new. It's boredom from that new 45 that I'm just like, what else?

I need something else. See, guys, I love my accent. Every single word. How'd those 80s guys do it? Like, Leno was like, I'm not doing a special. I'm not giving it away. Yeah. And I'm like, aren't you sick of it?

Don't you want to do a new thing about whatever? The weird thing about Leno is I would love to he he i'll i think he would do it i think he would do he's playing burning man all right um the uh the uh he's got a new injury is the problem i know you're right i got that guy's staying topical with injury he'll tickle your ribs all right they're broken um the uh he's a i was gonna say you've heard of blue collar comedy welcome to broken collar guys come on i gotta stay tight guys i he can take it on the chin All right. He watches every special. Oh, he's a psycho. He loves Michelle Wolf.

It's hilarious. It's really funny that he, it's just odd, like where he knows. He knows him. Yeah, he knows you too. If he knows him, he knows you. Wow, that's wild. Why would he know him and not you? Yeah, I don't know.

I'm just low self-esteem. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I'm a fan watched my comedy central spot like really he watches the amazon specials wow that's how deep into comedy this guy is he's not touching peacock though no peacock's a line too far uh nobody's that injured turn it off jay we're all out of specials on Netflix. How about Paramount Plus? Uh-oh. Yeah, exactly. Peeke, put that new Cosby on. I went to Cosby, I went to his Comedy Central special that I think they shelved.

Oh, I remember that. Damn. That guy had excellent jokes. Well, he's a great comic. I mean, he's a fucking amazing comic. Yeah. But, yeah. If an NFL player hits their wife, the touchdown still counts. excellent jokes well he's a great comic i mean he's a fucking amazing comic yeah um but you know if a nfl player hits their wife the touchdown still counts yeah um clip it harvey weinstein

great movies yeah great movies yes yes woody allen we go on and on yeah there you go picasso um now you're going too far yeah i'm drinking here please cut that actually please cut it because it's just i don't literally just going through people yeah um so uh so yeah leno knows every comedian wow i love i'm gonna be like that i'm gonna be an old man in a rocking chair watching you know some twink do 20 minutes in a wheelchair well yeah, yeah, you guys don't want to... There's so many questions about this new special. That's how you see the future of comedy. Well, I'm just saying, you've got to have a hook. He's going to be like, I'm on a roll.

It sounds like he's got a couple. Mark calls me, you've got to see Roller Twink. This guy is one of the best. Have you seen Roller Twink? Roller Twink's going to be there tonight. I'll be right down. Hello, StubHub. Roller Twink, Mark Norman is here to see you.

Kid, you've got the goods. Hold on a second. You know, you got jokes, but you got no legs. That joke's got legs though um the uh you wanna like I don't wanna die doing comedy but like just do it as long as

yeah yeah how about you go Don Rickles you know all the way to the end so do you feel like well I guess there's like right but Rickles Joan was doing good rooms Rickles was doing good rooms would you wanna

like at a certain point if you felt like you were stuck at a certain like level that was too hard yeah that would be tough like would you keep doing it yeah you wanna be Rickles you don't wanna be Mort Saul basically at the end oh what was he doing

I think he was just doing tough rooms I don't think he was selling tickets he wasn't really even doing tough room he was doing a place in like no in marin county like a theater once a week but people swear he was lenny bruce like he was that level he was contextually yeah no one had done that before and a better writer i'd say than lenny i agree there's a documentary about mortzall that's like Oh really? Yeah. But what is it? How did he just lose it? How did he lose all the momentum? Well he was never huge wasn't he? I met him

there was a documentary called I think You Gotta Be Something or The Loyal Opposition Mort Sahl it's S-A-H-L That's what I got. Just putL. That's what I got. Just put duh.

That's what I got, boss. Loyal opposition. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's an American Masters loyal opposition. But I remember having it and me and Chappelle watched it and then we were like, we should put him in a sketch. Yeah. And he passed. What?

He didn't like the sketch or whatever. passed what he didn't like the sketch or whatever i think he didn't like sketch but apparently he he's one of those guys who doesn't think anyone's funny right he just got so like fuck everyone i'm i think he was just a big narcissist it's my understanding of it wow woody allen's hero yeah um there's a funny woody allen story where if you can watch it bob whitey directed it who did oh the curb ton of stuff yeah um but any just uh bob whitey did a a uh vonnegut documentary that's oh wow um but uh there's a funny woody allen more tall story i ended up meeting him went to she was like just kind of like cordial, but not especially like. Warm. Respectful.

Or like, just kind of like, what do I, I'll do. Like they tell me you're something, but I'm not going to. And Woody Allen's story is. Mort's all went to a Woody Allen premiere. This is how long ago this was. They used to open Woody Allen's movies. And there was a premiere party. And Mort's all went to the premiere party and uh mort saw went

to the premiere party and uh this security guard wouldn't let him in and he's like tell woody the guy who changed his life is here wow and uh woody allen came out and goes mort change it back wow that's a great line um funny funny dudes But yeah, you don't want to. You either want to just quit. Johnny Carson. You either want to be Johnny Carson. Right. Where you like, I'm not participating.

But the idea of like. Don't you think you'd be so bored? Well, I guess it's bored or humiliated. Or bored or like perpetually bruised ego. Yeah. Why? And you want to end on a high note, too. You don't want to be that fizzle out guy.

Yeah, but look, I don't think Rickles or Joan were... They were doing good, though. Yeah. I'm saying to Mort Sahls, would you rather be... Do you get out on a decline? Right. Or do you just stop doing it and like rodney would do dates kind of i think oh really like but they were not regular and then he'd go and do five minutes and it was like yeah but yeah it seems like how to end it i saw carlin in oh one and it was rough that i we could tell by the way you said

it was at a casino though in biloxi mississippi oh my god so it wasn't his fault but he got heckled for an hour and he was just snapping on people and he was trying to do like the i'm uptown but i'm downloaded i'm back door but i'm in front mode or whatever and they were just like do the dirty words. And he was like, shut up, you fucking cunt. I'll put my dick right in your ass and all that. And it was like, whoa. But again, it was at a casino.

But I was a huge Carlin fan. And seeing that, it was like a wake-up call. Like, oh, comedy is rough. Yeah, this is maybe the best ever. Yeah, this is one of the best of all time. And he was cursing people out. No one was listening. People were throwing beer cans and shit i saw prior and speaking i'm like that's crazy and i'm like i saw prior in a wheelchair what dave opened for him in like 93 he was he was a

wheelchair twink that's exactly right um and um but black you know what i mean that helps it's a different it's kind of different than wheelchair chain hello stub hub um the uh the and dave opened for him and it was like uh he prior kind of couldn't he didn't have it like he didn't have like he couldn't really remember his jokes you hate to see and he uh it was just kind of a bummer yeah and people it became like a revival meeting where people kind of yelling out like we love you rich and all that stuff right but it was like a hard damn it was it was just like man life is wild i know it's so long they say that about bob dylan my friend saw bob dylan he's like it was it was

rough like you can't understand him but you couldn't i saw bob dylan 20 years ago you don't even know what song it is till the third verse wow you're like oh is this fucking blowing in the wind well they as long as you still get booked you can still work but like in sports you're not you don't see like bill russell wasn't playing true five years ago yeah you. And that's kind of what it's like. And that's almost better because you have to get out. But do you go to the places where people want to see you? I know. It's tough.

Do you go to like down markets and pretend that it's still. You almost need the Vegas because the Vegas will prop you up. They'll help you sell tickets. They'll be glitz and glamour. There's a little dignity to it almost. Carrot Top. That's what you're saying. Killing it.

But having said that, he has a pretty good life. Yeah. Also, Carrot Top's fucking funny. He's funny. I don't know why he became the punchline for everyone. It just became like an easy one for people. The props, obviously. I'd tell you how it became the punchline, but I'm going to need a prop.

Yeah, it became a punchline for people outside of comedy to know that that's a hacky reference or something. It's like the chuckle hut. You're like, shut up. Exactly. And somebody made a great point on Twitter. They said, shouldn't it be carrot bottom? Because the top of a carrot is green. Go on what they say i'm just saying it's a good point it's not hilarious this twitter sounds pretty great all right that was one of those

guys i mean that's when you're like what are you doing dude well i don't know i mean you should not be on how do you the i said this to taylor on she did my podcast you came up i like jokingly whatever um but uh but i don't know like i i change sort of life philosophies pretty regularly do you know what i mean so like he just was like oh let me try steroids yeah let me see if that it's like changing your sound if you're a band. Trying the gym and steroids is another level. Yeah, that's wild. Right, there he's going with like a, he's wearing makeup. How did my ex play into that?

You just wanted to bring her up? She's on roids. No, no, because I put on Instagram yesterday about like just questioning your own behavior. Like how should I approach, like i'm sure you deal with this what i was saying earlier about relationships and you're like ah like me and bobby were talking about like is david spade a dream or like should i not do what spade has done in terms of relationships just never get married be single i don't know interesting and like i don't fucking know i change my mind all the time i don't think there's like a prototype i mean it's what's right for you and i think if you're growing you don't

know what the dream is in five years you might have a different that's what i'm saying that's like carrot top was like steroids fuck it i mean look at chapelle chapelle was like the skinny guy go back to that picture of spade chapelle's he got he's having a good time look at how many who are the famous one he's been linked to oh uh yeah okay doing great so uh yeah like yeah like dave at a certain point like no i bait's fucking hilarious i'm saying like as a lifestyle how i don't know how to be any i don't know what to be i don't know so like with carrot i'm like yeah i'm not gonna fucking go to vegas do you go on dates yeah so you're trying i mean you're trying to meet people yeah but there are times when i'll be on an app going like why am I it's like looking at like uh collectible sneakers where I'm

like I don't need these fucking sneakers I don't need like new turkey load dunks I don't need the yeezy 750s it's a fun idea yeah like it's fun to look it's like past the time and like what are they charging yeah um there's a little uncomfortable but like you know i but then i go like am i tricking that i don't think i'm triggering them but but you know like how to live is it like a hard like you got it all figured out yeah well i'd say i mean how many bill burr had a great bit about marriage being dumb then cut to him being married and he's got like an hour and a half of overpopulation and has two kids. Exactly. And was like encouraging me to have kids. I was like, what?

I know. I mean, people, you know, they change. I agree. And what's good right now for Neil might not be good for him in five years. Yeah. That's why it's important not to endorse anything on your T-shirt. That's true. Yeah, gay Dracula.

That may not be the coolest thing on earth five years from now. I can touch a kid. Who knows? Well, you see those people who have like a Cosby tattoo and you're like, ooh, that's a rough choice. Yeah. I had a girl tell me that – I told the story on Rogan one time, but I had a girl, my girlfriend, this in the mid 2000s, mentioned something like, Dr. Cosby. And I was like, what?

What's that tone about? Oh, boy. And she's like, beautiful mixed girl. And I was like, what's that? And she's like, oh, well, no, I met him on the street one time. And I was like, he was fattening you up for the slaughter oh of course and she was like no no no they don't believe and then when the story broke i text her like what do you think your boy now and she wrote back like i think his wife knew about it and he i was supposed to meet him

in philadelphia one time and I got the flu, thankfully. Yeah. And, yeah, so people change. I don't mind when a comic changes, but it bugs me when a comic changes to go with the flow. You know, I like when a comic, like, Chappelle just was like, I'm going to be buff now, or Carrot Top. But when, like, David Letterman, who I love,

I feel like he was a little snarky and fun, and now he's kind of like, I don't want to get in trouble, and I'm going to play ball. No, I don't think he's that way. I think he's just older, and he's kind of mellowed out. Well, you watch those old videos of him being like, yeah, I fucked an intern.

What can you do? And then now he's got a guest on, and he's like, that speech was amazing. And he got killed, but I don't think it would fly now. I don't think he said, what can you do? I think he looked pretty troubled by that speech. If you rewatch it, that speech was amazing. And he got killed, but I don't think it would fly now. I don't think he said, what can you do? I think he looked pretty troubled by that speech. If you rewatch it, that was like cinematic. I mean, it was killing.

That was like pretty crazy. It was crazy. And he owned up to it and he got ahead of it and it was awesome. But I feel like I still like him. I'm not shitting on him. I'm just saying now I think he, like you watch some of his guests and he's like, I respect you. I love you. Well, I think guys like him, I think he did a podcast recently.

Letterman did a podcast recently, but we'll see. And I listened to that one too. And he was apologizing the whole time to me. He's a Kevin. If you're a if you're. Imagine if you're that age. Right. And all the rules are changing. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. You must. It's like you got to adapt. You kind of have to adapt. And by the way, you have like a staff that are kind of relying like he likes being like I don't know if you took away from the interview but like he likes being in show business yes he likes winning he likes like working yeah he had one of my favorite quotes where he said uh i could not be famous because i'm so sensitive i couldn't handle not being treated nicely and i think about that all the time he's he said yeah he said stuff like that in the interview like he really likes his lifestyle he likes the

way so so if he has to be a little more like apologetic right because what's the alternative the alternative like the bad a good bad alternative would be uh Roseanne right right right or back yeah On Fox News. Not even the main Fox. Her new special streaming on Fox. Oh, I didn't know that. Fox streaming or something. Oh, wow.

I didn't know that. Yeah. Laura Ingraham's doing the warm up for us. I mean, it's going to be wild. Ardra Taylor Greene is the closer. So she's going to come out with a T-shirt gun. Or is it a real gun? Spiderman. she's going to come out with a T-shirt gun. Or is it a real gun? Spy the world.

So that's one of those things where I don't fucking know how to be. I wouldn't know what I would do in that situation. Yeah, yeah. It's tough to navigate when you have bite to your act and you're getting older, I think. That's really what it is. Yeah, bite is hard to hold up. Well, you just seem cranky.

You just seem like an old man. Right. And if you're vital like us yeah uh you it feels like he's in the same cat he's living the same world as i am and like cool stick it to the whoever right right whereas if you just are like i don't get these but if you're the same age as these whatever your group is yeah uh gypsies right i think we're all thinking gypsies um you yeah like it's i don't i don't know what i would do if i were him it's it's a tough uh landscape it's a lot of a lot of landmines like colin quinn has that great joke in his i don't know should i say a new joke of a special? I feel like he has a,

he talked about not saying, or somebody talked about not saying someone's jokes on podcasts. All right, all right, I won't say it. We've said about 40 this episode. We've said other comedians' former jokes. Yeah, yeah, his isn't out yet. You know, fuck, I was gonna make a point about Dave.

Letterman? Yeah, but I do think he's like a genuinely curious person. Yes. And that is part of it where it's like even when he was snarky there was a curiosity you know uh but then use that when i get in trouble but look at it i'm curious i'm canceled what happened to curiosity huh but you know look at a guy like bill murray is like a guy who's polarizing right now yeah good point i love bill murray you know he's such a big part of my childhood he got in trouble on that yeah times are times change right and that's exactly to the

like hey man go out guns blaze and stick to it and it's like no no no i'm not saying he should go out guns blazing but i just i don't i don't want him to change for someone else i want you to change for you maybe well yeah but i don't think that's how society works i guess you're right i guess you're right i mean if it's it's the thing bill murray got away with it for a long time because he was like so funny right and i think his movies are too dramatic i agree that's part of the i think you're right part of the problem like dave chappelle can say wild shit and it's like ah yeah it's funny it's fun whereas bill it's like too many fucking too many broken flowers yeah too many wes anderson movies too

many hat too many movies where he wears hats like this too much oscar bait it fucks yeah it'll you can't be funny you can't bite a woman's or whatever he did yeah pull the ponytail i think is that what he did that's what i heard that. That's funny. Black woman. They had the hair thing. There's a difference there. Not getting involved. That's what I said. I read an article. Firm, stiff, impenetrable firewall. Nothing to do with it. I read a Roseanne tweet. That's all I know. Scared.

Sam, put yours up as well. Learn from me, Sam. Hold on a second. Let me just get the tension. And what are your life goals what's your life goal i don't know man because i mean i i like my life right now so i'd like it to just keep going this way and i'll i'll figure out this seems like a better version of your life 10 years ago hell yeah meaning the same basic funk like same basic day-to-day, but with better money and more fame.

We're working a lot, which is great. And you've started saying we, speaking of yourself, which is pretty. Royalty. No, I mean, think about how often we're on the road and stuff. We're going hard. I love it. I've always liked this style. But, yeah, I think at some point i'd like to meet a

woman but like you know right now it's it's it's tough i'm home two days a week and i'm i'm nervous to waste one of those two nights home on a maybe bad date you should put this put this in your dating profile look i got two nights make them count uh are you do you have to dazzle me but you're a catch now or you weren't a catch 10 years ago obviously no offense

but in a woman's mind you know you got some fame some money some notoriety some credits well you got that gay Dracula shirt

look who's talking I'm married baby gay Dracula himself I could be wearing flippers right now I'd be fine do you do you find that comedians get a bad rap dating-wise?

Meaning like when I think it's like, oh, comedian. When I heard you were a comedian, I was like, ugh. Maybe. Now for sure. It's probably not easy. Yeah, I mean, just the fact that we're never around. They're like, we must be a cheater. I don't think that's it.

I think it's we're neurotic and messes. Dark. Yeah. I think they think we're dark. Yeah. We are. Cynical, depressed. Yeah.

A bunch of stuff. But if that's your thing, yeah. Yeah. Gloomy, unpleasant. Yeah. Still a performer. If that's your,

if you're into it. Yeah. But also like fucking funny. Yeah. That's the thing. No one is like fucking funny. I'll tell my lady, you want to go to the SNL after party? She's like, we can do that.

I'm like, yeah, I'm a comedian. And so that's pretty cool. Yeah. So there is that. There are some perks. We can go. You can go to the Chappelle Radio City. Hey, maybe I'll throw me on.

Who knows? You know, that's fun. Yeah. So there's plenty of benefits, and when you have... Yeah, you just go to the trip. You got miles. Yeah, miles. Although you're on a bus now.

You've really fucked yourself on miles. Ladies don't love a bus. Yeah, I want to do the bus every time, but the bus is fucking fun. No, I know it is. Do you sleep well on the bus? I kind of do. I've only been on Chappelle's bus a long time ago, and It was the best sleep I've ever had. Oh, that's great. You're in that little bunk.

The low rumble. Cocoon. I love it, dude. If you just don't think about like Metallica guy dying. Just don't think Metallica. Died on the bus? Yeah. Oh, you had to let him know.

You ruined the bus. And just to go all the way, the Wicked Witch of the West legs under the bus. I believe. That's how they found them, I believe. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen the Metallica documentary?

I have. Oh, Some Kind of Monster? It's fucking... Have you seen it? Yeah, it's been a while, but yeah. It came out like 18 years. It's fucking amazing. Really? Yeah, it's excellent excellent give me some all-time doc rex oh that one um seven five is great uh yeah that was wild that was a great one fog of war

that's a classic that's uh errol morris yeah he's phenomenal. Thin Blue Line. Thin Blue Line, got a conviction overturned. There's a guy named Adam Curtis who makes BBC documentaries that are insane. Oh, really? They're on YouTube, right? Yeah, they're all on YouTube. And he made one called Hypernormalization. He made one called, it's like really... They're like philosophical. You'll like them. Really?

Because they're like... He made one about how Al-Qaeda and the religious right are basically the same thing. Whoa, that's like a bit. And they were on like an inevitable collision course. Whoa. And show the power of nightmares. Power of nightmares. Yeah, I mean just like the titles are fucking

insane um this one here yeah holy shit what a great premise my goal in this deposition was to be truthful but not in the past the politicians promised to create a better world and we did we have different ways of achieving this Is that John Edwards? Yeah. Holy shit, it's been a while. There's Rick Crumb. No one will get that. That was for you too.

But now, they have discovered a new world that restores that power. Instead of delivering dreams, politicians now promise to protect us from nightmares. Ah. It's like, they're these weird, there's one called Century of the Self where he says,

where he basically explains how marketing started public relations pub pr and marketing like freud's nephew came to the states and was like you wanted it and like started working with advertising wow started got women women didn't smoke and then freud's nephew there was a like women's suffrage at march and freud's nephew had them all light a cigarette up at the same time and he called them freedom torches wow shit like that like a million of those things that's amazing um i'll watch that one first yeah like that's probably the easiest it's four parts but like okay it's we do a lot of wrecks on this podcast. Center of the South. There's the house I live in. You guys see that one?

No. House I live in is like a fucking masterpiece. You ever seen Supermench? Yeah. That reminds me of that. That's about the guy Shep Gordon. Shep Gordon, yeah. And he was an agent. Isn't that Mike Myers made that?

Yeah. Well, Mike is friends with Mike. Probably. He produced it or something. Yeah. But he made a bus break down in the middle of Piccadilly Square, whatever the hell, in London, and it had an Alice Cooper ad on it. But it broke down, so they were trying to get it.

Everybody saw the ad, and he sold out. So he had all these cool ways of helping his clients get bigger. And he's like, this is about the war on drugs, basically. Oh, wow. Someone calls it like a... America's public enemy number one is drug abuse. What do you do when someone offers you drugs? Why We Fight's good.

We intend to end the drug menace and to eliminate this dark, evil enemy within. Wow. Why we fight's good. Wow. It's great. The guy, he did... I can see why dates aren't going well, by the way. You want to put on a fog of war? Literally, a girl said to me one time, good luck finding someone to watch your old man documentary. Oh!

And by the way, this was 15 years back. Things have not gotten worse. You're going to age into finding an old woman. No, what's funny is the culture has met me. Like, now everyone wants documentaries. Yeah. I used to see shit in the theaters. I saw Brothers Keeper in the theaters.

Wow. Fucking Attell. I think I saw half of them with Attell. Jesus. Yeah. I know. I would bet my ass up. You two are the only ones in the theater.

I swear to God. We went to the one on Houston. Angelica? No, the one. Now left. You guys are going the wrong direction. Film porn, yeah. That's a great one. It's got a giant pillar in the middle. What a theater.

Yeah. Do you guys want to make TV shows or anything? That's a good question. At some point, I think. You do? I think at some point, yeah. I didn't even notice that he completely flipped this and made this Blocks podcast. Well, I'm saving the good shit for when you guys come on. All right.

Because I don't want Mark to fart on me. And I just got to keep him busy. This is defense turning into offense right here. A TV show, I don't know. I mean, if it could be like a Tosh.0, something like that I would do. Well, you could still be you. But I can't act. I don't know i mean if it could be a like a tosh point oh something like that i would do well you could still be you but i can't act i don't want to write an arc and have a bunch of bunch of dumb characters and a wacky neighbor you don't want a doorbell no yeah no doorbell yeah maybe a ring camera that could be a fun show that's a good

device but i still love that i still love the old type of like great shows i yeah part of me does want to do that you gotta have a new spin though like atlanta or something you know i don't i mean it's so hard that's the thing that's the thing is i don't whenever i think about it i'm like i don't want to do that to myself you disappear for like four years but also like your it's like being on the road, but like way worse. It's just like so much harder than you can even imagine. Trailers and script supervisor and video village. But it's also just casting and locations.

Yeah. You just have so many decisions to make. I know. And you got to write it. So like, and you got to like make it know and you gotta write it so like and you gotta like make it improve it make it better yep then you gotta go press tour for it yeah it's it's just never ending and you only get a billion dollars if it's good enough if it's seinfeld you get a billion dollars right right right um apparently the last of us was the most expensive shoot of all time or some shit like that so So it's like, it ain't cheap.

No. I mean, that's a giant production, but it's a lot. And look at what it did to Mulaney. I think it fucked him up. Doing a TV show? Yeah. That's fun. I haven't heard that theory.

Go ahead. Well, I think it fucked, I mean, his special was called Comeback Kid. He's like, I'm coming back. Like, that was tough. It was tough. I don't, I mean, it was like three episodes and I. Greg Casso. Who was it? Marty Short. Yeah. He was really cool. Oh, yeah. Classic. I was I don't I mean it was like three episodes and I read Casa who wasn't Marty short oh yeah classic yeah yeah great kid at one point he wanted Paul Mooney to be in it Wow where to go he's like you think money would do it I love that he uses earthquake on the road to me that's

yeah fun fantastic yeah so that's great that that's why he did drugs um that's what made him do drugs it's a sitcom um so all right so no so maybe a t maybe like a but by the way like a tosh.0 now you could do every day true this like even like the idea it all had it should be like whatever however much all of us caught or Or lots of us. Yeah, exactly. Like if you're going to do a show, make it. Like blow it out. Right.

But yeah, just to write a script, all that just seems like too much work. Yeah. All right, great. Would you do it? No, I mean. You've already done it. Yeah. In the heyday, though.

Yeah. But just the difficulty was like i don't i also don't like dealing with the the uh like the not the network but just it's just like the kind of people i don't i the thing i like about the road is you can deal with like a very small amount of people yes exactly and it's like a fair thing like i show up sell tickets i sell tickets, I'm going to talk, then I leave. Yeah, I mean, instead of like, okay, can we grab dinner? Yes, yes, exactly.

So many steps to everything. Yeah. Like, I don't want to name drop, but I've been chatting with Seinfeld, and I think the only reason he's sinking as low as to calling me is because he's in L.A. and he's shooting this movie and he's dying.

Yeah. He's watched this, he watched the episode of Colin Quinn. That's how bored he is. That's so funny. I know. It was a good ep, though. It was a good ep, and Quinn's shooting this movie and he's dying. Yeah. He's watched this. He watched the episode of Colin Quinn. That's how bored he is. That's so funny. I know. It was a good ep though. It was a good ep and Quinn's the man,

but I'm just saying like, he's like, I gotta, he's like shaking. He's like, I gotta get back out there. Yeah. I miss comedy.

Well, he likes comedy. Yeah. He loves comedy. Yeah. So, that's what these shows do to you. They take you away a little bit.

Well, he actually, I was going to say this earlier. He said one time, it took him four years to learn how to be a person when after the show ended whoa like he just to like talk to his wife's friends right like pta meetings because he was in show mode for he was just like i'm in charge of everything i make every decision i think he's like it's just to be like with people right to go from it's what we were saying earlier it's like it's easier to be a comic at this point yeah than it is to be a person completely agree and it's easy to slip

into that you know when you're at thanksgiving you're like this oh i gotta i gotta just fake it what am i doing i gotta do this i don't want to be here but you gotta do it yeah but you want to go back on the road yeah but so sad that we refer to being a person is faking it of course that's so sad that's how it is yeah it's tough um how do you guys end this thing i think we plug your special blocks on netflix fantastic what about my road dates great special yeah and neil where are you gonna be man hold on ne Hold on, I have it here. NeilBrennan.com. Pull that up. Bam! Oh, Madison. Is there a better club in America? Madison, I think, sold out.

Salt Lake sold out. Nashville saw this coming. Still not sold out. You're slumming it, huh? You're doing some real rooms. Well, I'm doing real rooms and then I'm doing fake rooms. San Diego, I think, is they're all pretty close to sold out, if not all the way there.

Where in Baltimore are you playing? Oh, the joy. The... Where am I doing in Baltimore? I don't know. The Lyric? That's the only place I know. Is that...

Which one are you guys doing? Well, we were Magoobies, guys, but the Lyric is like the step up. Right. It's like the 1,000-seater.ies guys, but the lyric is like the step up. Right. It's like the thousand seater. I don't think it's a thousand. But yeah, so go on neilbrenner.com. If you got a good airport, I'm coming.

Yeah, suck it, Atlanta. No, Atlanta's got, well, if you have a big airport. And then, of course, the Blocks podcast, you can forget. Oh, yeah. You have to be on. You got that right. We've had Letterman. We had-

Love Letterman. I love his new act. We had, who else we had? We had- Sebastian. Sebastian. We had Nikki Glaser. We had Ronnie Chang this week.

Oh, good list. We got- Gotta get a black. Fucking, well, I can do a black this week. What are you doing? Come on. Roy's coming on. Charlemagne's coming on.

Ooh, now we're talking. You got Roy Roy we've been trying to get Roy for months that son of a bitch it's fun I'm sure he why he asked him he lives by here he'll do it all right all right I saw him the other day I was too scared to ask him really I don't want to buy he's a bad well and Bobby Lee Bobby Lee is the champ right now. Best pod guy. In terms of numbers. Killer. Perfect podcast guest. Has no boundaries. Yes. Yes.

Literally has no boundaries. Used to close by stripping. Right. Yeah. Used to. We did something. He's burning together. And Bert's like flipping a burger.

So what's going on, guys? He goes, would you? I was blown by a boy when I was 12. We're like, we just just started and you just open with that that was his opening so that was fun so that was great that's so you could stream that as well it's on youtube on youtube something's burning but great numbers bert yeah bert did my podcast too yeah oh nice yeah um anyhow uh this was uh we might be drunk yeah oh yeah uh huntington ac uh i don't know when this comes out uh voya loke uh minneapolis use uh fucking madison milwaukee yeah boston added another one so i

should put up sold outs on mine yeah because it looks cooler i just i'm gonna have a thing where i'm like afraid of my web guy that's like a curve miami orlando ponte vidre charleston atlanta dc all these you got off easy i appreciate you doing it during my plugs too thanks he's the guest i'm trying to sell tickets he's like hold on let me get that that is no joke either. Fucking poor Chester. A bunch of stuff. All right.

I'm all over the place. Come to the. Why does the picture on your website look like God am I allowed? It doesn't look like you at all. I know. I'm scared of my web guy. Yeah. Come on out.

MarkNormanComedy.com. You know where to find me. Come to Chicago. God damn it. Do a special. And BodegaCatWhiskey.com. Yes. WeNormanComedy.com. You know where to find me. Come to Chicago, goddammit. Do a special. And BodegaCatWhiskey.com. Yes. We love you. Drink our whiskey.

It's great. And more merch is coming. The merch is killer. Oh, the shirts are great and the sweaters. Yeah, looking good. Thank you, gang. See you all in hell. Thank you, Stephanie.

Stephanie, I thought you had to leave. No, I'm good. Okay. All right, sorry. Thank you. Go see Stephanie at her bar, the Vegetarian Depot. Yes. ABCV.

ABCV. All right, comedy. Sunday's the day for my next bender. A bit of Pivarec, you know the beer juice close. I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming

And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true