We Might Be Drunk - Ep 188: Mini Us & Bodega Cat

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

After being on the road for weeks we're back together, a recap of time on the road with Bert and the Fully Loaded Festival. Time with our family and working on jokes and of course peeves and recs. Hang with us and big shout out to SirCollectAlot for sending us our own action figures! Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/ Mark Normand: https://marknormandcomedy.com/ Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod Bodega Cat: http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/ If you want to start a podcast contact [e-mail] for a discount on services when referred by WMBD! Sign up for a $1 per month trial period of Shopify. Head to https://www.shopify.com/drunk to get started Support the show & get 20% off your Chubbies order. Head to https://www.chubbiesshorts.com and use code DRUNK

Yo! Yo! Hey! We're here! We're doing it! We're back! I haven't seen you forever. Yeah, I've been, uh, it's, what has been, two and a half weeks? Three weeks? Well, you were in Europe. Yeah, did Austin for a while, then Europe, so it's been a long haul. How long? I mean, I've been Austin, that was like a long week, right? Well, it was a while, you know, you land you go straight to kill Tony you meet up with Ari you black out You go to the mothership then we do do an IV or no. No, we should start doing that We should start doing that but that city is it's just as naughty in the air. It's this evil in that town. It's it's Ari It's just sorry. It's just sorry. I know you mean though. It's it's Ari It's just sorry. It's just all right. I know you mean though It's like it's such a comic heavy town now that when you land like that trip in like a week And I'm like oh fuck that's gonna. I've never done kill Tony. Oh, it's first. I'm doing it

You're gonna have a blast just just keep your head on a swivel because it's just cigarette smoke and booze and drugs and girls and cowboy boots and sixth Street and and drugs and girls in cowboy boots and 6th Street and there's like that, you know that like New York pressure of like hey you gotta be kind of appropriate, gotta be, that's all gone. You land in Texas and you're like yee-haw! You're like Yosemite Sam all of a sudden. Yeah, no it looks fun. How was Europe?

I'm in love with Barcelona. Yeah. I mean we could do a whole episode on it but it it's like it's so well run. It's clean The subways are on time. The people are pretty and thin and the food is not bad for you We stayed on the beach. You take a 10-minute subway into the city. The city's beautiful. There's no litter. There's no graffiti. Ah the paella the sangria Sangria's we should do a sangria if we haven't done one. That's true. We should make the sangria. Yeah. We could do that like while we're talking maybe we do a little

potion. Because those are fun because you can kind of freestyle with those a little. Oh, yeah. It's a little of wine, a little of booze, some rum, some, what do you call those? Alligator tears. What's that? Some pussy juice. No, I'm just going crazy here. Eye of Newt. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like banana peels and it looks like Flint water. You know, it's just got shit floating in it. You feel the same way afterwards. That Sangria hangover, that was like a college drink for me because you get that box wine cheap and it don't taste like box wine. Whatever Maestro's done mixing it up, You throw a little OJ in there triple sec

I don't know what else the hell you put in there, but oh, yeah tequila. Yes It's kind of like a Long Island iced tea. That's classy. It's like a foreign Long Island. It is yeah It's a great drink I had about a thousand of them that next day hang over all the sugar to brutal red wine is always bad news But I'll tell you this about Europe. They're better than us in 90% of the ways but you can't get a fucking drip coffee I know what a flat white yeah over a flat white that's my fucking sorry but yeah give me a drip just hit me one of these are the pictures so trash you remember Richard Jennings joke about how the French had the croissant and we take it here we go Give me a croissant which

It's so fucking true. That's so it's our way. We're used to it. We sound so uncultured right now I know but I got the Americano. I'm watching them pour water in it. I don't like them the whole thing stinks I love a good drip. You guys man. There's nothing better on the road the road when you find that like indie coffee shop. Oh, yeah. You got the Trans Barista. Yes. That's where every trans person goes. That's their job is the local artsy coffee shop.

That's true. What is it about coffee that brings out the trans people? I don't know, but I think it's a warm community. Yes, yes, I think you're right. It's like readers and intellectuals, that's true. I love a good indie coffee shop. Me too. But they don't have drips.

I went to a diner out there and you gotta keep ordering coffee. There's no pitcher. You can't get the hun, you know, the diner waitress with the pencil in her hair going, how you doing sugar? Need another refill? Top off?

All gone. This is how we grew up, so this is what we want. I'm the same way. I was in Rochester, New York last weekend. Not exactly Europe. I fucking love it. It's a fun town. There's a boxcar diner called the Highland Park Diner. You been there, Matt?

Great diner. That's like a classic. And any time I see a boxcar diner, my fucking dick perks up. Oh, I love them. My nips are hard. Pull it up. It's oh, it's a great little spot. And the waitress is just great.

They have that Jamaican coffee blend, which sounds awful, but it's great. No, I'm into it. It's a, oh yeah, classic. Look at that. Whoa! Doesn't that just, you look at that and you're like, this is where I wanna go.

This is perfect. You get that big fat omelet, you get the hash browns. Love it. And. Great for a hangover. You go in in there you get like a everyman breakfast And you just shit it all out in like 20 minutes. Yeah, dude We we I was a little hungover that first day actually because I was I was giving out bodega cat shots

And by the way, we're drinking bodega cat right now. It's legal in New York is at the fucking cellar the stand Go to those clubs order bodega cat. Hell. Yeah, we're the we're the old-fashioned you order an it's at the fucking cellar, the stand. Yeah! Go to those clubs, order Bodega Cat. Hell yeah. We're the old fashioned, you order an old fashioned, the comedy cellar, it's with Bodega Cat! How cool is that? And it's coming, if you're in California, you're in, you know,

Texas, Florida. Texas, Florida, Georgia now. Kentucky? Yeah, Kentucky. Yeah, yeah. We're fucking cooking, so get some Bodega Cat in the menu. One state at a time, we're like weed.

Eventually we will be everywhere you know and an abortion but Highland Park diner killer and Something about you. You're right like the the waitress the diner waitress. Yeah something about it It's America baby and these Europeans that cannot get on board. They got all these fancy espresso machines and all this shit I'll take a Keurig over an Americano.

Well, this is also why their people are thinner than us. Yeah. Because it's all about like small portions. A little tiny espresso. Yeah. The portions are just smaller over there. The gelato, the little spoon. Well, you wonder why these French women are so thin.

It's like, you know, they drink wine and eat cheese, but they don't have a shitload of it. Exactly. And they smoke cigarettes all day to kill that appetite. And they're walking. And that's what keeps that body tight. Oh yeah, I mean, I stayed at the beach and I was just like, where are the fatties?

I couldn't find them. They weren't anywhere. Yeah. And I look out the window of this restaurant, I see Michelle Wolf run by. And I go, get the hell out of here. You just ran into Michelle Wolf in Barcelona. We were texting a little, but then I just happened to see her. It's like a, it feels like a small town over there and you know she's running on the beach

at like 7.30 at night. The sun doesn't go down to like 11. It's crazy. Weather was perfect. So I hit her up and I go to her room, killer room, comedy club, cafe or something. Oh shit. She just lives in Spain, lives in Spain. I met her daughter.

Cute, cute as a button. So cute. And we hung out. We talked shit. We made fun of a few comics. And then I did it. Comedy Clubhouse. Great room.

Killer. Hot crowd. Damn, I wish I was popping into Spain on my on my year. Oh, yeah. I have time. It's worth the look. I mean, it's a beautiful city. It's so well run.

Hey, Michelle Wolf sold out. Look at that. Yeah, man, I'm so bummed. So I get to the Burt Kreischer Fully Loaded Tour. And the first thing I say is like, oh man, I wish Norman was here. And Victoria, who's running everything, goes, that's exactly what Norman said when he showed up.

You know? And I was like, because I feel like everyone had their other like half big jay And soda yeah bobby lee and daniels and kelsey cook his boyfriend pillow tony henchcliffe and i Don't know i don't know his corvette adam ray adam ray there you go their buddies you know And then i had bobby lee the first, we were hanging out the whole night,

Attell and I were hanging out, but then I only had them for one night because Bobby fell off the top bunk and broke his face. I heard. The best part is Bobby Lee is, and look, no one wants the top bunk, especially like I'm tall, I don't, I'm kinda like, I'm alright with it,

but it's not my favorite. Yeah, it's the worst. We have that fear of just rolling out. Yes, which he did, and you gotta pee, we drink all night. Then you finally get to bed, you gotta pee, and now you're climbing down, and then climbing back up. I put my foot on Soder's face, he came. I mean, the whole thing was tough,

and it's like dark in there, and the bus is jiggling. That part sucks, but great fest. We had Dave Attell, you know, just wouldn't sleep on the bus, and he's just chain smoking in the main area. And he's like, I'll just just wouldn't sleep on the bus. He's just chain smoking in the main area. And he's like, I'll just wait till I get to the hotel. It's like nine hours. I know.

He's just hanging out. Yeah, oh, look at that. He sleeps in the hotel all day. The best part about the Fest, the shows are great. The crowds are great. Bert hooks it up. There's barbecue one day. The next day there's cheese steaks.

And then there's deep sea fishing or whatever. All kinds of crazy go-karts He brings a trainer with him on board Shout out Larry that guy ruled and then dude. We're doing ice bath. You do the ice bath. I couldn't do it I love it really awesome you it's like coffee. You wake the fuck up. I Watched canane do it which I didn't expect him to do it. Yeah can aint a wild man But yeah, but he also I hear I heard didn't used to hang hang and it was like down the hang Oh good. He went I went surfing with him. Whoa, I never been I'm a city hick. I'm not going to serve

Yeah, I've never done it was great. Wow, not a ton of Jewish surfers out there Is that a thing? Oh, yeah, there's moisture Greenberg the famous Hawaiian He just scooping up locks He's fighting bears. Come on, give me that. Yeah, good for Canaan, getting out. It's such a great fest. Hold on, what was I going to say?

Bert Hook said, oh the best part was after the show we would all sit in a circle, smoke cigars and David Tell would tell us stories and Burt would counter with a story about You know J Moore and then David Tell's like what about Robert Schimel and all these it was just a great That was the highlight. Yeah, Jelly Roll showed up. Yeah, that guy was fun as hell. He brought the house down. Holy shit He's awesome. Great guy loves comedy. He likes getting zinged. That was fun And did you guys have that who's that short guy the country guy? He's got a hat and long hair He might have showed up after you left. I don't think I was there for hugely popular guys like it That's it Marcus King. Yeah, I I've heard he's amazing. He's I watched a few videos the guys a feet Yeah, I've listened to something. He wants to come on. Oh, yeah

What is he like 25? He's super young. He's yeah what I've heard is awesome Yeah, he's great, but and and Burt was talking him up like crazy, but uh feels like country's back like old-school Merle-haggart country not like want to talk about me want to talk about my I want to talk about G Bye, baby, bye boo. What a Toby Keith bullshit. That's the guy we had uh yeah I mean jelly roll the for Jelly Roll is just smoking weed. I heard a Jelly Roll story from back in the day. Oh, hit me, baby. You know, back when he was doing other stuff

that he, some guy stole his car in Nashville and took it to like some place and some guy goes, is this Jelly Roll's car? And he goes, yeah, and he goes, I would return that if I were you. And the guy brought it right back to the exact spot he stole it. Oh wow.

Like that's the, it's almost gotta feel good. Yeah. You're like, he stole my car, but he knew what the fuck was up. Damn, I can't believe he returned the ice cream truck. No, good. He said he'd come on this too. He wants to come on.

Oh, I'd love to have him on it. He had his right hand man, like he's got a little assistant guy and then I got to talking to him. Woo, he's missing an eye. He's missing a finger He's got all these crazy. He had an IV girl. Yeah, that's right. He hooked it up the first night He was like, did anyone want IV and I was like hurting I so crazy story I was supposed to go to Chaz Pullman Terry's one-man show, but it was a night before Burt Yeah, and I was like I was still pretty sick

Yeah, I had a fucking head cold and I'm like, I gotta get a good night's sleep rolling into a fucking fest with Burt. Of course. You know, you show up, it's just booze from the second you get there. And then I was like, fuck, I'm not gonna go. I gotta rest.

I text Chaz and I said, I'm so sorry, I'm sick and I have to go out on the road tomorrow. He goes, I totally understand. I want you guys to see the show so we gotta find a time to see it still. But I get to the airport Friday morning, I see Mike Lavin, Homeless Pimp, who directed Chaz's one-man show.

Oh, that's right. And apparently it looks incredible. And he goes, dude, you shoulda come, it's the classic David Tell, you shoulda hung out, man. What happened? Oh, five minutes after you left, Kevin Spacey came through. He's like, we hung with Spacey all night and I'm like, holy shit, if I was there I bet I could have fucking talked him into coming.

I just feel like I could have talked him into what we might be drunk. A hundred percent. He's a wine guy, he's gay, he probably likes us. Now we can pray and get K-packs on. Damn. That would be a fucking all-timer. I know. Eat your heart out, Piers Morgan.

We'll get two cries. That's true. That was a weird interview, wasn't it? Oh my God. Well, it's also tough because he's such a good actor that like, it feels like, you know, what's the movie with Ed Norden, Primal Fear? Yeah.

You know where he's just like, you're just like, fuck, this is such a damaged guy. And in the end he's like, I got you, you acting yeah, he walked out of there like Kaiser Sosa He fixed his leg and he was like I just pulled that one off. You know damn Kevin Smith, Jesse Smollett was a better actor he could have Whoa, I'd love to have him on to it. That'd be fun interesting. Yeah, we'll just say we'll have him on and then not Alright, but yeah, he'd be an interesting guest. We always bummed. I missed that that tour was fucking fun. So fun

They really killed it. I've done it a few years. This is definitely the best year. They got it How about that swag bag? Oh my god. I only got one thing. Thank God. I took the headphones Cuz I was like, I'll just take these for the flight tomorrow and then they'll mail the rest They mailed my bag to canane. So canines got my stuff too. Well, he'll send it over. Yeah, maybe I'll get it, but I also That fucking headphones are game changer. Oh, those air max pros. I never use those you put those on. Oh, yeah noise I'm fucking I'm reading on the flights. I'm not hearing shit. That's the best So and Chad Daniels and I got buckets on two dudes. We were fucking rain. Oh really? Oh, there's footage so it's not one of my things that one of my stories. Oh, no, it's in my my burp post It's on one of the slides. You see us fucking cooking Chad's the man

He's got a new Netflix special coming out called empty nester and he had killer stuff, dude So funny and yeah, it was it was a good hang. Oh man. I got a wreck. Oh, please I read this book called Dinner with DiMaggio, and it's just about, it's just like old DiMaggio stories. This Dr. Roc Positano takes out, he just takes out Joe DiMaggio for dinner. They become like dinner buddies. Yeah.

And it doesn't matter. It's probably fucking, oh, there's a Bobby Lee one probably, yeah, it's in the slide, but it's whatever. It's not, yeah, don't worry worry about it but then they become tight DiMaggio is just like it's fucking he's just like epic dude yeah like from his falling out with Sinatra hates the Kennedys failed marriage with Marilyn Monroe because she couldn't have kids wow that's why I didn't do it yeah Italians they need a fucking air that's right you know and then and they have great hair, you know?

That's true. But he, you know, all these crazy stories, man, like hated Mickey Mantle, loved Garreg, like, like Lou Garreg was like his mentor, like crazy, this one story, it's Lou Garreg, basically like knowing something's wrong with him, but not knowing it's ALS and he's just dropping shit. And he's used to seeing,

this is the best player he's ever seen. This is like his mentor when he was a kid, like 36 or something. I think Garret's 36 years old too. Something's wrong and he is starting to play worse because something's wrong with him. In the locker room one day he's like, something's wrong with me, I'm gonna retire.

And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, well I can't stomach the thought of being taken out of the lineup or being with me, I'm gonna retire. And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, well, I can't stomach the thought of being taken out of the lineup or being benched. I'm gonna retire. So he just starts crying in the fucking dugout. And Demagio starts crying. You're like, that's an insane moment of baseball history, you know?

Yeah, of course, holy moly. Fucking crazy. Two of the greats. And also, wouldn't it suck to have a disease named after you? The worst. The worst, like, name a sandwich and have it on your street. What are the odds? Yeah, you're gonna give me the the disease gonna name that after me like the Heimlich is made by Jeffrey Heimlich

But he's like a hero. I got Mark Norman disease. What is it? It's basically ass cancer mixed with AIDS This is really bad odds. Yes, exactly. I don't want that to be my legacy. There was this comic I started with Glenn Coyle. I'm sure I've told this on the podcast. Back in the day, he's passed away, he was a really funny guy. But big boozer, really fun guy. Yeah. He had a joke that goes, my girlfriend got Lou Gehrig's disease, so I traded her.

Ah! That's just a great one-liner. That's a great joke. But yeah, so many good stories about Demagio, just like, he's a character, man. Yeah. Old school, fucking, just a ridiculous dude. I highly recommend if you like,

even if you don't like baseball, it's just good old school stories. Love it, love it. Baseball used to be so big. I know, I know. I still like it a lot, but it doesn't feel like it what it was, you know? No, it's totally champion.

Have you seen the Savannah Banana? Oh, that was fun, dude. Well, oh, you were there? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I heard their amazing live. Batting practice. But I'm like, this is what baseball's come to? It's basically like twerking and TikToking

out in the field, I don't know. It's like their and one. Yes, yes, exactly. They were struggling for a while and they really blew up. And I'm not trying to shit on them, but I'm like. It's pretty funny. Can we just play the game here? Is this fair?

I mean it's more, it's not, I mean they're baseball players and it's like a summer gig, you know? Oh, so they're not really playing in... No, a lot of them are minor leaguers and stuff. They're not just, I mean they're like good players. Oh, okay. So the minor leaguers are, you know, it's a summer gig for them to make

some extra scratch. Oh, alright. I thought this was the minors. I thought they were playing triple a ball here. No this isn't like this is like. It's almost like the globe Trotters versus That's a good way. There's two teams and yeah, it's not that but it's super gay. It's like Chippendales They're silly as fuck. They're really cool. We hung out with them really yeah, yeah, we went into BP They were doing batting practice. Oh, I got a few fucking hits really yeah, Burke got some hits. Really? Yeah, yeah, because we went into BP they were doing batting practice. Oh wow. I got a few fucking hits. Really? Yeah, Burke got some hits. Yeah, Burke and Swing. Yeah. Okay, I take it all back. I just thought this was, I thought they were playing in the actual league. It's pretty fun. What are we doing here? The league's gone to shit? This guy's shirtless? Where is there no

regulations? All right, now I feel better. I was bummed we weren't doing the gigs. It would have been so fun if we were both on those shows man. I know that's why we all signed up was to be together But you kind of get randomized. Yeah, I'm also missed. I almost I almost rolled into Maryland just to like pop in cuz I so much fun, but I could work with just other shit But I want to see Stavi, you know, right Stavi's there. I'm just glad I missed Whitney But how was uh, how were the shows? Cause we had a couple of tough ones. We had an outdoor.

You had Macon, Georgia. I heard that was a tough one. That was a tough one, we all hated that venue. The first thing Attelle said to me when I showed up, he goes, well, look who showed up for the indoor shows. Yeah, those outdoor ones are a. Palm Beach Outdoors was kind of tough. Okay.

But then we did Indo indoors, we did Savannah, they were good, although I got heckled on my first fucking joke. Really? I kinda had to change jokes. Whoa. The guy who went before me, they did a Trump joke, and I was like, I was gonna open on just whatever joke,

and I was like, I got a funny Trump joke I'll open with, cause it's pretty down the middle and fun. Yeah. And I couldn't get a line out, cause they'll go, go Trump, go, I'm like, just let me tell the joke. Right. You're gonna like the joke.

Exactly. But, so then I just had to call an audible. But, yeah, Savannah was good. Okay. And then. Right down. And then, oh dude, I wish I got to explore more, but we got to see a little, and then we did,

West Palm was the outdoor one, that was a little tougher. And then we did Daytona Beach which was killer. Oh nice. And the best part is all the people that like you're hanging with all day like the surfing people they're backstage at the party after. Yeah right. These surfing instructors and they're hanging drinking with us. I love that. Yeah, we did a South Carolina was it Charleston? We went Red Sea fish. What do you call it? Red fish. I saw that. You were holding something. Oh, I caught two sharks and And then if you can find it, Peter, there's a shot of- How big were we talking? Burt caught a red fish. It must have been like this big. It was 30 pounds.

We all had to get behind him and he's shirtless, so you're getting all that back sweat. And we pulled that thing out of the water and then we all got drunk with the fishermen after. I don't know if it's on my slide, but that was the River Dogs was the stadium. By the way, Joe DiMaggio gets a shout out in Old Man in the Sea. Wow. And fucking Mrs. Robinson. Wow.

Two iconic, you just made me think of it because of the fisherman. That's crazy. Those are two iconic things to be shouted out in. Yeah, you're right. Here's to you, Joe DiMaggio. Well, where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Yeah. Yeah, and here's you, Mrs. Robinson. Yeah, you're right. Here's to you, Joe Dimension. Where have you gone, Joe Dimension? Yeah.

Yeah, and here's to you, Mrs. Robinson. Right, that's it. I like that updated version too, that Lemonheads one. I don't know that one. It's in Wolf of Wall Street, you know. Oh yeah. That's a good one. Oh yeah, if you can find it,

you might have to scroll down. But either way, it's gonna be a while back because you gotta hand it to Burt because I did two or three days and I was like, all right, I'm a little fried. This guy goes for a month. I don't know how he does it. Oh there. I am in a fucking What is that? Oh yeah took a lot of talking to get you into one of those things I know I saw that that oven this Pete that's Burt's right-hand man. He's great Pete

All the ladies love Pete. And some of the dudes too. Yeah. Hey, there we go. Cut to Jew concerned. Is this gonna work, are you sure? Wow, see, now this is all stuff to beat a hangover. Yeah, I mean, it is that he's described at adult summer camp and me bent over can we get one good shot of me please?

It's me like scratching my butt. Yeah Burt's just trying to kill that inflammation It was great man. Yeah, no I'm bummed. I miss a lot of people on the other one. Keep going. Keep going. That was Sam surfing. Really? One more down. I got up on one. I. That was Sam surfing. Really? One more down. I got up on, I got up my first try. Really? Yeah. Wow.

Fucking yoga dude, I'll tell ya. Yeah, surfing's tough. It's really tough. And this is like easy waves. Like this is definitely beginner surfing. Like I'm not good at it, but I did get up on the first one. There we go, Bert, Bert is pretty athletic. He's so athletic.

Yeah, he's just good at most sports. Daytona? Yeah, Daytona was sick. And of course as we're leaving, they're like, yeah, it's the number one. There's Canaan. Hey! That counts. They said it's the number one shark attack. Oh, great. Oh, here we go. That's me. In the pool. But I got up the first one. Alright, here we go. That's me. In the pool. But I got up the first one. Alright, here we go. Yeah!

Oh my god! Surfboard! That was my instructor, not too bad. Yeah. I think I said something about like the Soviet. Oh, that's funny. No, I was hurting. I had to get out. I was like nause Soviets. Oh, that's funny. No, I was hurting, I had to get out. I was like nauseous from booze the night before.

Oh yeah. Just that fucking, just that seawater. You're like, fuck. There's the, that's one of the sharks. Oh, look at you. We got. Is that soda? If you keep going, I think there's a redfish in there.

Oh, look at you. Yeah, we're all hung over. Good times. That's me going, you like that guy, really? You think he's funny? Is this a fully loaded page? Oh, yeah. Or is this Burt's? Okay. Oh, man, what a crew. Very good choices of people. Adam Ray's awesome. Matt McCusker. I know. Matt, I missed a lot of people. Stavros. Yeah, I never hung with McCusker, really. I love to hang with him or and you know I never see Adam Ray or you rarely see Whitney's like a lot of people just

There it is it's nice because usually on the road we only catch HPV Yeah, exactly But yeah, good. That's a fucking 11 in the morning, by the way. Yeah, wow. Just getting after it. You wake up early on those, I just don't sleep on the bus, especially in the top. Soda and Jay, those guys are smoking so much weed. Yeah, true.

Everyone's smoking that fucking jelly roll weed too. That's the shit that'll fuck you up. Oh yeah. I mean, seeing Burt fucked up. Oh yeah. Burt, by the end of the night he is wrecked. And it's fun to watch. He'll tell you anything. Oh there we go. Good times. Alright well. Yeah we covered it but that's good stuff man. So yeah fully loaded. If you can go you should definitely go. It's really a treat

Hell of a feather. There's nothing out there like it. Hey Bitch yeah, Winnie. I wasn't cheating When you didn't even see there you go. So yeah, I would blow to this fuck Look how fucking swollen my face looks from the booze. That's what happens out there. Oh Jesus Christ Five pounds of my face. Oh, yeah. I gained five pounds in my face. Oh yeah. Disgusting. I gained five in Europe just eating all...

You look the same. Well, the bread there is better for you. I eat bread here and I'm like, I got some gluten issues over there. I'm wolfing down croissant witches and going nuts. What a... All right, when you're running a business, you want to be able to sell to anybody anywhere in the world. Shopify, as you cover, with their global commerce platform, it's easy to use and will take your the We love Shopify, I'm on there all day, the wife's on there, Ian's on there, it's the best, you gotta get on it. The internet's best converting checkout.

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drunk at chubbieshorts.com. That's code drunk at chubbieshorts.com. Support the show and tell them we sent ya. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubbies. Hear, hear. Any peeves or anything? I got peeves, I got wrecks, I'm all over the place.

First off, I gotta say, the debate was on while I was in Europe and then I felt very far away. Oh my god. Because I was just like looking at all the tweets and List had one of the best tweets. And he killed it. About the live. Oh my god, that was perfect. Yeah, so good and I'm all off time-wise but I'm finally back now. That debate was a fucking mess. That was bad. I fucking mess I was bad now a couple weeks after right because we're doing the other way first yeah but I mean that was fucking bad yeah that was a tough time then it makes you think like you guys all said he was healthy and sharp so now are you lying then what else are you lying about so it's well a lot probably everything it's all lies

it's all media but good to be back time, we're living in the summer, we're making it happen, and now we're here and we're queer. So peeve, how about this one? You ever have a thing where you can't get something to work and then you show a guy, like this never works for me, and the time you show him, it works? Well, yeah, that's's a P for sure. You ever had that where you're like this fucking thing won't open?

It's your dick? What are you showing them? I know what you mean though, that's like. This file will not open or this won't download and then you're like look, look, watch and then it downloads. And you look like a jerk. And you look like an asshole. I hate that.

That's a good beef. That happens to me all the time. Because that's kind of like, it's like a dumb luck peeve. Yes, yes, so you're bittersweet because you're like, I'm glad it works, but I'm also like, I swear to God, I tried 50 times, it didn't work. That's a good peeve. Thank you.

I got, remind me of one actually. You ever do, and I do this sometimes, but it still bothers me when other people do it. Hey, where's the, and you find it before you finish the sentence. Oh, yeah, yeah. Where's the TV remote and then your whole oh, yeah I hate that women hate that but I but I've had women women do it. That's true. That's true My lady will be like where the hell's this and I'm like, well, you got to look first

Yeah, you can't just get mad and not look you got to start looking and then ask me It's we're so used to it's been we're working out because we're so used to instant gratification Like your phone doesn't work immediately, what the fuck? I know. Everything you want immediately now, think about food, everything, delivery, it's just, we become so fucking impatient. I know, I'm the minority here, but I don't use Uber Eats.

I don't do it. Ever? Rarely, maybe twice a year, three times a year, I go out to the grocery, I go pick it up. You cook? The lady cooks, but I go get a rotisserie chicken, I get cans of tuna, I get hard boiled eggs. I love cans of tuna. Me too.

Cans of tuna is like the most simple pleasure. Great. You just pop it open, I throw a little everything seasoning on it. Yes. A little olive oil. You got yourself a nice little snack. I don't even take it out of the can. Me neither.

All right. I take it out of the can. That's one of my go-tos. Me too. Why dirty a plate? Yeah. Pop the lid off, I give a little piece to the cat, and I wolf it down.

This is real white trash. I'll put a little ranch on it and then mix it in. It does taste good. Oh, it's great. I got some jalapeno ranch I throw on there sometimes. Ooh, maybe. Not my go-to, but it's fucking good. That does sound good.

I'm gonna get on that. What does Mae cook? She makes a hell of a bolognese. She does this minestrone soup that's incredible. She makes pork chops. She's a great cook. I lucked out and she likes to cook, so it's not one of these like getting the kids.

It's satisfying to cook. It's great. I rarely do it, but when I do it, I'm like, why don't I do that more? I know, your hands are getting in stuff, and you're smelling things, you're cutting things. It's good for the brain, I think. Yeah.

The only problem is those dishes after. That's a bitch when you got the pile of dishes. You have a dishwasher? Well, I call her May. But yeah, I do, but it's not a great dishwasher, so it's one of the ones where you gotta take shit out and clean it again. What's the point? I know exactly does a new place have one yeah, thank God new place So you must be pumped up pumped August 1st. How about this? Yeah? This is what it comes with owning a home

I'm in Barcelona Voicemail hey, this is your neighbor pearl She's like an 80 year old lady who's lived in Brooklyn her whole life. She's like an 80 year old lady who's lived in Brooklyn her whole life. She's like, we're swingers, we wanna know if you wanna suck and fuck your neighbors. I wish that was it.

She goes, hey, a tree fell out of your yard and fell in our yard and broke our fence. And I was like. You're really in a home. I'm in a home, baby, I'm a homo, oh, ner. And I was like, oh, I don't care. I'm like, oh, good for you. I don't don't care. I'm like, oh good for you. I don't care I'm like knee-deep in paella. I got my good like Eastwood and Torino. You just gotta just chill on your porch with a fucking gun

Exactly, it's like the last of us And so I was like, oh well handle it whatever you got to do She's like well, it's your tree so you have to pay for our friends, and I was like oh She's like you got to get a tree guy to take the tree out, and I'm like oh So now I'm in Barcelona googling tree guy, and it's way overpriced, and I'm like maybe I'll just come over and move it. She's like well. You need a chainsaw. I'm like ah So I finally find this Mexican dude Carlos does the whole thing for 200 bucks goes back there cuts it up She's like he's in our home. He's eating our food. He raped our daughter. I was like let him work

This is how he does it this is process and so he went in there and he called me He's like it's all finished and I go great. Here's your money and Now we're gonna go tied up. Yeah. Yeah, he's like the wolf wolf Oh They're all tied up. Yeah. Yeah. He's like the wolf wolfo Loopa, but he goes in there and I think that's wolf in Spanish loop loo bow But yeah, he went in there and he'd he handled it. So thank God for Carlos. That's wild, dude Yeah, so those are the things you gotta look for. I had my move dude, and I Movers I hired movers only hired two I did I you know, I did some stuff too, but so funny There's no matter what they two. I did I you know I did some stuff too, but so funny. There's no matter what they complain

I know I'm like it's in the building. They're like we only only a service elevator I'm like it's just a few fucking flights in an elevator I know and they're like well this wasn't you know this is the moving tax It was like you didn't say there was gonna be this I'm like boxes. I did say there's gonna be boxes It's so shady, but they're always like well those I think they have to act annoyed and it does get a bigger tip. Oh Smart smart well There's all these union rules like well if you're gonna be moving in a building It's got to be between noon and 2 or you got to pay a fine

And if you don't use the freight elevator you go to jail there's all these crazy New York's fucking annoying I hate these fake rules But yeah, that's what you must be pumped though. I'm glad to be back and I feel replenished I did I did a writing session. Well, we did one yesterday. We bounced some bits. That's we should have saved them for the show I know what are we doing? I don't I don't know if I was thinking straight me neither But there was fun bounce. We haven't done it off pod in a while super helpful. We got it. Yeah I got a couple. Oh, I got a peeve. Hit me. Ooh, this is a peeve. Oh, baby.

The leg cramp wake up. Oh! Is there anything worse? Like right here? Yes. Sometimes you get one in a toe and you just can't. Yes. I get this one a lot, the second to big toe.

Oh. This is a real drinker's peeve. Because your body's shriveling up. Yeah. But dude, I also, I sleep under a weighted blanket. I love, I have a really good one. It's not too heavy, but it's like, it's nice, a good weighted blanket.

And when you're under there and you have a cramp, you look like a fucking mental patient. You're just like rolling back and forth. It's awful, but. It's the worst. Yeah, I hate the cramp. You gotta drink water and you gotta have a fucking banana. banana banana like you were told when you were seven years old potassium but the charlie horse is the worst when you're like

Right in the back of the calf and you got to get up and walk around like Like an old man in the middle of the night and it's the only way to get rid of it. Yeah, it's usually dehydration Yeah, that's what they say. That's a peeve good one. You got a peeve. Yeah How about this guy the guy who's throwing out options? He's like We can either do this or we can do that What do you which one do you want to do and whatever one you pick he goes? Well, that's right to the other one. Yeah, what is that? I don't like well, why'd you ask me? It could be anything could be a movie could be anything. Hey, you want to get Chinese or Japanese and I go

Oh, I could do some sushi, let's do some sushi. Yes, it's a Monday. Sushi's not great on a Monday. Yes, that's the guy. I fucking hate that guy. That's the guy. Why'd you give me the option then? Yeah, just say you want pasta,

we'll get pasta, we'll be on our way. But he's gotta go, ah, sushi, it's a little early for fish. You're like, well, you threw it out there. I have that all, oh, geez, with your girlfriend or a wife or whatever, when you're just hanging out deciding on food, I hate the person that nixes every idea.

I'll be like, here's five things I can do, pick one of them. And then they're just like, oh now I gotta pick? I'm like, well I can pick. They're like, no, no, let me think about it. Or you do the one where you're like, how about Chinese? They're like, I could do Japanese.

All right, well how about Mexican? They're like, eh, I could do Italian. And then you're like, why don't we just order two separate? We can't even agree on this exactly Well, that's the problem with the vacation because I'm with her family I can't believe you fucking did that I mean it this is my gift to her I mean this is getting you out of some you know you're gonna miss a wedding anniversary to a spot at New York comedy club I feel like exactly I built up some points. Women don't give you credit. You can't really get credit with a woman. You can't use credit later, be like,

hey, remember when I went on that trip? They're like, that was then, this is now, motherfucker. But that's women. That's true. But the hard part was her family likes to do everything as a group. They'll be like, who's hungry? And I'll go, I'm hungry.

And they'll go, all right, let's eat. And one guy goes, oh, actually, I'm not hungry. So we gotta wait on food, and then she's like, well, maybe I'll just go and sit there. No, we can't have you just sitting there, it's too weird. How many people? It's like six people with kids, eight people. So it was her parents?

Parents, brother, sister, their spouse, two kids. Yeah, it was probably, was it nice, though? It was great, it was great, we had a great time. And you get along with her family. They're way better than mine. They're like normal people. They're like a family from the suburbs. They get along. They're nice. My family's crazy.

So it's like a treat to be with their family. I have no qualms about it. But the group thing, we're lone wolves. We're lobo. You know, we're out there. We're living. If I want a coffee, I'll just go up and get a coffee. But she, the mom be like, where are you going? I'm like, I'm going to get a coffee. She's like alone Yeah, I'm just gonna go walk around maybe listen to a pocket. I'm gonna go to the bathroom alone too late

I'll get used to it lady. Yeah, and she's like do you need anything you want us to go with you? I'm like now just get the coffee, but then you don't want to seem like I don't like you. You need a moment I'm the same way. I need a moment removed and it's not rude. It's just like, you need to recharge. Yes, yes. I need a moment. Dude. They don't have that. There's people I'll be with and they talk so much. I'm like, I just, I don't want to be rude,

but I just need a moment where I'm not forced to respond. I need a moment where I just like, kind of am in my head for a second. 100%. I think types of people could just on and on and on. There's types of people who live in their head. Yeah. And those are quiet people.

And I think we are, at our heart, introverts. No doubt about it. I like socializing, but I need that time to get away. Yes, they don't have that. They're very like, oh, you're going? I'll go with you. And in my head I'm like, oh, I was gonna go alone and recharge.

But they think, why would you wanna go alone? Are you crazy? I'll go with you. I'm like, ah, it's gonna go alone and recharge. But they think, why would you wanna go alone? Are you crazy? I'll go with you. I'm like, God, it's the opposite. There are people like that. Why would you, you don't understand? I know. But I spent a lot of time in the bathroom.

You know, like I would go, oh, I gotta do a phone call. And I would just walk around. Yeah, you notice when you're around those people, you take a 40 minute shit here and there. Yes, exactly, exactly. And then they get weird about that. They're like, where'd you go? And you're like, are you sick of us?

Are you mad at us? I'm like, no, it's a me thing. I'm just a mess. It's a recharge. You can let people need a recharge. I got plenty of peeves. Please. It's been a minute.

It's funny you mentioned Burt with the back sweat because I've been playing some pickup ball in the park. The shirtless guy. Yeah. What are you doing? That's tough, they're like a wet seal. Oh my God. You slide right off of them.

Those guys take their shirt off in American history, actually, when you see the Swastika. I'm more annoyed by just the shirtlessness. I'm more annoyed by the fact that if you're gonna back into me, and I'm like, because that's when it gets, they post you up, now you're like, now I'm fucking gross. That's true.

It's too intimate. It's way too, it's way too wet. I'm with you, it ruins the the game because it's another element now. It's not just blocking you and getting and posting up. It's like, oh you're slippery and now I'm wet. I don't want to taste a male stranger. Oh, yeah that's the classic. That's the classic. That's perfect. Man, Tropic Thunder was on TV the other day. Oh. Downey Jr. just, I mean, it is so fucking insane that he did that. And it's so funny.

Top notch. Tom Cruise killed it. Downey killed it. Jack Black. Everybody brought the heat in that movie. Um, well, wait, what did you say, Bex? Oh, I used to bang a gal in Little Italy. This girl was way out of my league.

She saw me do a set. I had a good set. Super hot lady. But she had this great apartment in Little Italy with no AC. So there was this one summer, I'd go to her house all the time and we'd bang all night. But I would get so sweaty that she would put her hands around me during sex and she would go, ah, because my back was soaked. And I was like, well well you don't have AC and we're fucking going at it over here Oh, so she was uh, we ended up ending it because I was too sweaty. That is fucking insane. So the back sweat is no joke I'm I'm with you. That's fuck. I'm annoyed for you. I Would have a get towels in there. I'd put towels on my back so she could hold on to me

She was a nice piece too. Oh my god was she something damn I still follow her on Instagram just for just like a little ego boost like every once in a while Hold on to me. And she was a nice piece too. Oh my god, was she something. Damn. I still follow her on Instagram just for, just like a little ego boost. Every once in a while your girl will be like, who's this person? They just check who you're following. It's hard to be like, some chick I fucked in 2013. And you're still following. You're like, what's weird to unfollow?

I don't know. I mean there's a few that I just follow. I'm like, yeah, we hooked up a few times. Then you're like, this is kind of weird. Yeah, yeah yeah that is true. She's married with kids now. Yep, same with her. We had a fun night in San Antonio. Remember the Alamo. But yeah, no I get it, you gotta do it just a little, oh yeah that was a wild time. It was a good time. Yeah and she's like a animal rights whatever now, so I'm like oh look she in Africa, saving the wildebeest or whatever. So you get the animal photos as well.

And you're like, hey, I fucked a nice lady. Yeah, it is nice. Yeah, I made some good decisions. Yeah, I mean, she rescued me. What about this? This is a peeve and it's a little, don't even look at my followers you sick fuck Good I didn't I was looking like what is he doing? I'll send it to you later

Detective Peters hot in the case. Yeah, how about this for a peeve? This is a little broad. This is a big umbrella Yeah, the passport We've got 2024 here. We got vision Vision Retina Scan, we've got Fingerprint, we've got Breathalyzer in the car to start it. We still need this dumb book. I hate the breathalyzer in the car. I remember they sent a guy to fucking pick me up from a comedy club with one of those. Oh really?

And I was like, wow, thanks for sending the A-Team to get me. This guy can't fucking drive in a... He's pulling over like, hold on, I gotta pull over. Right, yeah, that I gotta pull over. Ooh. Right, yeah, that's a bad look. But yeah, I gotta have this antiquated little Koran with me everywhere I go, this fucking dumb pamphlet to show that we got everything else. Get it on my phone, there it is.

Now you forget that thing. Oh, you forget this thing, you're ruined. It's like the Jews with the papers. It's weird. It is weird because everything else is digital. You're right, the airport, it's so fucking annoying. I know, and I'm just, the whole time I'm like, oh, do I have it?

I left it in my bag. It's gonna turn into giving up more freedoms though, like stuff like that. I mean, we're already doing it. That's the thing. It's like look you to cut the line. Yeah, you're right We give our retinas we give our fingerprints you go there you give everything like and and guess what that lines now too long I know It's gonna be the next one. It's gonna be like our dick print You know, you're gonna have to keep giving up freedoms true. You're like you're like, wait a second. You're not circumcised You're like fuck run, you're gonna have to keep giving up freedoms. True. You're like, wait a second, you're not circumcised, you're like, fuck, run, you know, it's gonna be.

They're onto me. Yeah, that's true, I guess you're right, but I feel like they got it all already, you know? It's like when they go, the government's reading our emails. I'm like, yeah, and your TikTok, and your DMs, and your location, and they know how to give you ads, so it's, the cat's out of the bag. Yeah, the Bodega Cat.

Yeah! All over New York City now, and your home state, and we're coming soon. Get it online as well, if you don't have it in your state. Bodegacatwhiskey.com, good stuff, dude. Oh yeah, I got a rec. Yeah. Now this is maybe about more of my anal than your anal.

Instagram, get ready for this one Peters. Cody Tucker. The whole the whole page is just this guy pulling out fun facts out of his ass. Okay. Now let's find a good one here. I've seen this guy. This guy's great. He does movie stuff, he does phrases. He did one, he'll like connect the dots in a weird way. Yeah. It'll be like, you know, Kelsey Grammer related to Hitler. And you're like, what?

Right. That's not that, but it's like stuff like, you know. I just watched one today where he goes in England back in, you know, 200 years ago. They used to sell these piglets. That's the one. They sell these little piglets. And we'll play it. Now piglets notoriously difficult to handle. Squirmy little bastards. So the people selling piglets would put them into a little sack as a way to contain them.

The people buying the piglets that were in a sack weren't able to open it at the market because the piglet might get out and run away. So they would purchase the sack piglet and take it home. When they got home, they would open the sack and find out that it was in fact not a piglet. The person allegedly selling these piglets would have pulled a fast one on them and put a cheaper animal inside of the sack. Now at this time, a very common stray animal to find in London was a cat. So, to find the truth of the deception, turned into the phrase,

to let the cat out of the bag. So a couple hundred years ago in England, people used to go to a market to buy livestock. I love these fun facts where the whole thing started. I mean, these phrases had to come from somewhere. I relate to emptying my sack and regretting it later. So, definitely. No, that's so interesting. I love stuff like that.

Yeah, me too. And who knows if it's even true, but it sounds true. I think he's got the- Can we fact check that? Yeah, good question. I mean, that is let the cat out of the bag. So it has a bad association for sure. Yes, yes.

And then it just morphs over time. And we hold on to these phrases which I love. One was this guy pissed off everybody in town so they stopped talking to him, they kinda ostracized him. The guy's name was Jeff Boycott. So that's where you get boycott. So it just kinda come from somewhere. Damn.

So I wanna do a comedy show, some style of this with comedy mixed together. I don't know how to do it. Damn, man, I like that, it's interesting. I mean, that's an interesting guy to have on the pod and just tell stories like this. Oh yeah, he's got great movie ones, like this part was supposed to go to this guy,

but he got the flu, so then it went to him, and then he fought him for whatever. Those are always interesting, the ones that you just missed on. Yes. But then sometimes it's for the best, you know? Mm-hmm. It's like you're like fucking Robert Redford in The Godfather.

Right. That was one that was supposed to happen. Totally. What? Yeah, Will Smith was supposed to be Neo. That was a big one. I could have seen that working, but I think Keanu was perfect. Oh, totally.

That one is like, yeah, he did it for, because he did Wild Wild West instead. Wooo! He wanted that song, yeah, but think about how much money he probably made off that song. That's true, that's true. He probably was like, do I get a song in Matrix? And they're like, red pill, blue pill? He's like, nah, doesn't work. No, Wild Wild West, yeah, that song slips. Alright. But yeah, how about, what's her face

in that? Selma Hayek. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I never saw it. Puh! Bad? It's horrible, but she looks great. Yeah, she still looks great. I know.

What's going on? JLo looks great. The tides are turning. Money, money's good. Money, that's what it is, I guess. Money helps you stay young to a certain point. Yeah, Penelope Cruz looks great. They're all hanging in Julia Roberts. Money, that's what it is, I guess. Money helps you stay young to a certain point. Yeah, Penelope Cruz looks great. They're all hanging in, Julia Roberts.

Yeah, oh yeah. Madonna, she fucked it. Now it's funny, because if you get surgery, you look worse. I feel like the people who didn't get surgery. They're getting better surgery. I guess that's what it is. They're all getting work done. Yeah, that's true.

You ever seen Jennifer Connelly? Looks better now. She's fucking hot. Underrated hot lady, Jennifer Connelly. Not by me, but yeah, I know you mean she's not talking about in the in the list and the annals But she's hot. Oh, yeah, she's in a lot of fuck. She was just in some movies in Top Gun the new one man I just watched I wrecked Dark City. No direct that Peter's Maybe I don't know I might have wait. She's in that isn she? Look up the movie Dark City, I think she's in it. Maybe I'm wrong.

Dark City, hmm, what's that, Harlem? All right, did I make that joke already? Yeah, she's in it, it's good. Watch the director's cut. Kumail Nanjiani, shout out, he wrecked this movie. Oh really? And he was like, he goes, you like noir and I like sci-fi and this is like a hybrid.

Ooh. So give it a shot, it's really good. Okay. It's a weird noir about this kind of dystopian city. It's cool. All right. Oh, at 98, that's a good year. And watch the director's cut

because the other one has like a narrator that I guess a studio force and it kind of just dumbs it down and gives stuff away. So I watched the director's cut. It's a little more It's a more of a slower burn. You're a little bit like what's going on here, but in a good way alright I'll check it out. It's a cool movie for sure Uh I just watched the good the bad the ugly that's a fucking good What a killer yeah, it took two watches because it's three hours and change

I gotta be watching it's been a minute but. It's like the Western. All the tropes and cliches of a Western come from that. Woo! They used to be my ringtone in high school for when my mom would call. No way! Because I knew I was in trouble. I'd be out drunk at a bar and I'd be like meh meh meh. Oh fuck. I think I might make it my walk-on music now, because we're joke slingers, you know? It's kind of fun. That's fun. Play that music if you can there, Peters.

It's just a great hook. I ended up Googling all of it, and it's a great history. What's his name? Any Mora Cohn? Is that who did the song? I think it is. Holy shit. How'd you all that out well

I just watched fistful of dollars with Eastwood and that's a really fun one too and that got great music that came up before this I think yeah, this is like the oh, I think so yeah, I think that was like 65 It's good. It holds up, and it's got great shootout scenes wow you got the guy Mary Cone. That's incredible What a pull too bad that can't get you laid You got the guy Mary Cohn. That's incredible. What a pull too bad that can't get you late There it is dude, I can tell you this shit That's so good, I don't know how they made that noise By the way, that was Eli Wallach the Jewish you playing playing a. That's when Jews took Mexicans jobs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Eastwood is just so cool being a badass. I know, he's so damn handsome. He was like a Helmsworth back then. Yeah. 64. Yeah, he's a handsome, great jawline badass. But, uh, Fist of a Dollar is a really good score too. But this is like the classic.

I'll re-watch this too, this is good. There's so many twists and turns. Like the movie just keeps going and the Civil War gets involved. I was really good to score too. This is like the classic. I'll re-watch this too. There's so many twists and turns. Like the movie just keeps going and the civil war gets involved. It's fucking awesome. Eastward is fucking magical. And I mean Unforgiven is up there too. Oh yeah.

Unforgiven's pretty great. Killer. I went to the Criterion closet the other day. Ooh baby. Which was like, I'm for film geek, I'm like this is fucking cool. I got to take five movies with me Oh really yeah, you get to pull them out of the closet. Well is that where they keep the gay ones? It's just the birdcage

Wow that's great It's on like 18th Street or something I got to I didn't do like a video I just they took a polar to me in there, and I just got to pick some out but I took they let me pick Five and I took I took a I took thief something I've seen this movie here of it Sure took clued cuz I've never seen it clued I don't know Donald Sutherland and Jane Fonda supposed to be good. I've wanted to see it. So I grabbed that Okay, I took Scorsese shorts

Whoa, cuz I was like she was like these are cool and they're hard to find like great took them and then I took the magnificent Ambersons got a little Orson Welles in there cuz I've never fucking watched it Okay, check this out and I got one. Oh sweet smell of success Old New York, baby classic. Yeah, I got some oldies in there. Well, see it's like a library you take them out return it No, I get to keep them what yeah, and and you get to pull them out and they have like doubles, but then they ask which ones you take to like restock. Oh. So you can go in there and just grab them, but yeah. Whoa, DVD?

Yeah. Wow. It's kind of fun to have a DVD in your hand. Yeah. I was like, man, this fucking, it's funny that that feels old now. That's like the new, you know, record or whatever.

Right, right. So how do you get on board with this? You got to pay a monthly thing or? No, I pay to do the streaming service, but no, it was to promote the special. It was just like to take a picture in the club. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, by the way, new special out. Amazon, you've changed streaming now, so give it a watch. Woo, very exciting. Hope you're enjoying it. And give it a like and a share and a comment. I don't know how Amazon works I'll be a comment. I think you can share or you can definitely thumbs up it Yeah, I was remember Andy kindler used to do that joke where he's like I couldn't get on Amazon I can see my new special on UPS ground shipping

That's funny there it is changed very noir good photo Cool font like the suit. Yeah, that's fun. That's funny. There it is. You've changed. Very noir. Good photo. Cool font. I like the suit. Yeah, that's fun. That's great. Streaming now on Amazon Prime Video. It's a good time. It's a great hour. I've seen it. I can't wait to watch. I just like to have these on in my house in the background, like friend specials. You know, do something. Yeah, Salakis took that one and he took the other photo. But yeah. Woo, baby. Page shot. Yeah, had my scotch. No time. that was bodega cat wasn't even it wasn't scotch Yeah, no tie the tie is too formal. It's a little mine. I like a loose tie

You know, so for it very it depends who it is for me It doesn't it didn't feel right but Vita rocked the tie in his but oh, yeah Hell, yeah, let me see what other peeves I got cooking bud but. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Let me see what other peeves I got cooking bud. Wah wah wah. Ooh I got, this is a rough one.

So we're flying back from Rochester which is already a brutal flight. And the flight there was like, it was a hot three and a half hour delay. Which is like, luckily it's a short flight so it doesn't really, but it does fuck your day up a little bit. We were like, this shouldn't be a full day.

Yes. Just going upstate. So you know, me, Gary, we're at the airport. We go to the thing. It was a classic board and then we hit the D board. Yep. And because it's a little plane, they give you the pink tag.

Yeah, hate the tag. Hate the tag, but you gotta do it. So I took it, do the thing, we get on, and then they go, you gotta get off. So I go, when are we coming back? The guy goes, I don't know. And I go, well, it's not showing on the phone. He's like we're just come back now I'm like we don't want to just chill by the gate We want to go to the lounge or get a bite or something if it's gonna be delayed like two hours

I'm like all right, but it's not showing up Yeah, and then uh like all right you trust me. I'm like all right. Oh boy So I we don't trust him, but we rolled the dice we went to the lounge came back Then we go back to lunch for you. back, then we go back to the lounge, he goes, it is, all right, go back, come back on the flight. We took off the pink tag, we didn't know where to keep the pink tag. Oh, I never keep it. He's like, you took off the tag?

And I was like, I didn't know if it was gonna be the same gate, I didn't know if it was gonna be the same. I'm like, I don't know, and he goes, you don't throw away the tag. I'm like, is there a shortage? Are you running low on the tag? Yeah. and he was just like really annoyed by I'm like You don't get to be a dick after the it was a three hour delay. Yeah. Yeah You gotta be blow me a little bit. Yeah, you should be a little apologetic. Yeah

Wow fucking the tag and then on the flight back. Here's a second peeve flying peeve we're We get the flight attendant who thinks he's a fucking comedian. Oh Yeah, it thinks it's open mic night keeps and by the way cranked it all the way up On this thing, but Gary's like doing this. Yes, like poor Gary. He's like he's just doing this the guys going Oh, I messed that up. I guess that's the hamster died on the wheel. Mike is that an extra? I don't think that's an expression. He's like making shit up trying to be funny. Like, what is this shit? Yeah, yeah.

And there was another delay that way too. I'm like, that's a, those short flights are the worst flights because you're in the little plane. Yep. It's shaky. There's always something wrong. There's never like a simple short flight, I feel like. I know, and the announcements are getting longer,

I feel like. So on a short flight, it's like, announcement, announcement. Don't use the lavatory, smoke detector, finagle, fa-ham-bam-bam, and then it's like announcement announcement. Don't use the lavatory smoke detector finagle fit hand bad bad And then it's like already shut the fuck up Yeah, you get like two seconds of silence before they go hard descent pull the bucket you said put your tray up your seat Back like god damn. I got no no flight time because it was just all talking. It's it makes me crazy It's why I would for a long time, I would watch the movie on my laptop because they can't pause the screen on the laptop.

Oh, good call. You're in the best scene of The Departed. All of a sudden they're like, ooh, we're in a cruising altitude. Who gives a fuck? Yeah, what are you on, you period? We got 10 knots on the starboard. You're like, God damn it,

he's about to hit the guy with the glass. It drives me crazy. And then, have you seen these videos lately of these flights? Oh, dude. It's getting wild. I ended up in the overhead didn't he? That's I did. How the fuck does that happen? I tweeted about that. I called it overhead bin Laden Yeah, that was it was a lady got up in there somehow I think and then there was a like a how does this happen? Oh passenger stuck in overhead. What? Oh, I guess he bounced into it.

Oh boy. Yeah, so- I love that he's buying up ads before the overhead video. Make America great again. We're flying in overheads, guys. Yeah, right. He's like, yep, but under Biden. People weren't flying in overheads guys. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yep. He's like, yep, but under Biden People weren't flying in overheads under me. Yeah, was it even in America? I

Hope not Brazil. There we go. Thank God. Thank God. All right Okay, what is this? Oh shit, that's some blood on the seat They died Do we get video of it No Whoa out of overhead luggage of overhead luggage. I shouldn't be laughing but it's kind of ridiculous. Aeruropa says 30 passengers received what they call minor injuries. According to reports Brazilian public health officials say passengers got head

neck and chest injuries. I want you to listen now to one of the passengers. It's kind of good for a second. Hahaha. Bulkhead. Didn't have seatbelts? You gotta wear those seatbelts. Yeah. You know what's weird? School buses, no seatbelt. That's a good point. Isn't that strange? It's like full of children. Everything's got a seatbelt.

Some do. Okay. Some do, but I've been on the ones you're talking about where I'm like, yeah, this is weird. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench.

Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat is just a bench. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seatbelt. Some do. Okay. Some do, but I've been on the ones you're talking about where I'm like, yeah, this is weird. Yeah, the flat green, dark green seat, it's just a bench, there's no belt.

Ugh, I shit my pants on the school bus in like first grade. Oh yeah. I couldn't make it, it was in midtown traffic and I was just, I couldn't handle it. I was like, I'm not gonna make it, and I remember, and I was like, ugh, and I just went and all the kids were like, no way. And then I remember a kid just like felt my butt

and he went, he ain't fakin'. Oh. It was the saddest poop on pants. Yeah. Poop pants bust incident ever. Well, at least you can get on the subway and you see eight guys shitting on themselves. So you're like, all right, I'm not alone.

I shit myself. That woke Winnie up. Oh, hey. Winnie goes, I don't wanna be near a poop head. She might have to shit. I went on a field trip. I shit myself on the field trip and then we had to get back on the bus to come home

and I remember the bus driver went, ah, ah, ah, and he put toilet, I mean, a newspaper down on the seat. He was like, all right, come in. It was so humiliating. I was just. You're that guy now. Yeah, my fucking poo covered ass was on the on the one ads Tough times tough times man. Hey

Nugget Dog just puts me in a good mood. Oh, yeah, it's a good time good old wingus. Yeah, you're helping the elderly I did She's so old. Oh yeah. I had the TV guy come by and he was like, he was like, that's one old bird. He goes, we had a Yorkshire Terrier when I was a kid. Made it to 23. That's like Guinness record shit. Wow, that's crazy.

That's so cute that you were shitting yourself on a bus in Manhattan. You know? I never thought about that. Just a little kid in Manhattan, not shitting in the bus. I was like, ugh. He looked over, there's another kid jerking off. There's another guy filming. Just a bunch of degenerates. Showtime, showtime.

Oh my god, those are the worst. Apparently a lady on a United flag got kicked off for misgendering, you see that? What? Yeah, it was a flight attendant She was like can she uh, can you she said something and the lady was like it's a they and then they kicked her off What yeah with her kids there it is mid-flight. They kicked her out the fucking window. I think they wouldn't let her on. Oh, wow Oh, that's tough

Yeah, that's gonna be a lawsuit. United might be fucked on that one. A woman identified as Jenna Longoria of Texas relayed the ordeal in a series of videos recorded at the airport and posted it to X. She explained she couldn't board a flight from San Fran to Austin with her family. I was speaking to one of the flight attendants, got their pronouns wrong. The other flight attendant didn't like it. Now usually with a lot of these, there's some kind of extra thing they're not telling us.

Usually, yeah, what else did I say? Longoria apologized, explained that she's not very well versed with pronouns, I was holding my son, he was having a temper tantrum, I had the car seat on my back, I wasn't really focusing on anything except getting my son's car seat on the flight and getting him comfortable.

She alleged that the United staff accused her of a hate crime and told her she might be banned from flying with United. Woo! I feel like hate crimes used to have to earn them. Yeah! Hate crime back in the day was like, you know. It was a curb stomp, it was a lit up crucifix on a lawn.

Now it's like, oh I made a mistake. Right, right. I misspoke. I know, that's a tough one. Oof. Oh man, I missgendered a guy in the crowd. Oh. I was calling him like a fucking,

I couldn't see, he just had a very, he sounded like a rugby lesbian type. Sure. Like a kind of butch lady. I'm saying he, because I found out later he was a he. Yeah. I kept saying, and miss, and he didn't correct me. Yeah. So finally I said, and miss, what are you drinking? And he goes, well first of all, I was a he. I kept saying, and Miss, and he didn't correct me. So finally I said, and Miss, what are you drinking?

And he goes, well first of all, I'm a man. I was like, first of all, I've been doing this for minutes. Like, you've been letting this happen. What do you mean first of all? I've been calling you a lady for quite some time. It was kinda sad. So he transitioned to a man. No, no, he was... It was always a man.

Oh! He just had kind of a... Lady voice. Yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, we know people like that. Sure, sure. I mean, it's a dark room.

I can't tell. So that's not really a... I apologize, but I was like, I mean, you know. But it wasn't a trans issue. That was just a feminine man. Oh, yeah. It was more just I couldn't identify the gender. I see.

But I got him an IPA and And I said give him a pack of cigarettes for his voice, too Yeah, and a turkey sandwich Guys a man right here. He's the best well You know it's weird is that I would be the worst trans person because I have such low self-esteem I wouldn't correct anybody like if you get my name wrong. I just go with it. You know if you're like hey what's up Mike? I'm like hey hey. But if someone was like hey what's up ma'am? I'd be like hello. You know I wouldn't ever correct anyone because I-

You get a little fan go mm-hmm. Yeah. I've got the vapors. I couldn't do it. Same with the I couldn't be a woman because I would fuck every guy out of guilt. Yeah. I wish more women were like you. I know. You'd be a good woman I got be sad and depressed and pregnant but I would yeah I would be you wouldn't

fuck me I just feel like I'm sad feels bad I'll blow you just sad yeah there was like always like one girl like that when you're young that's true I would like big alright let's go out back yes And you're like, yes! Yeah, the pity fuck. I remember when I was really young, I'm like, in like eighth grade, I remember there was a girl over at my friend's place and it was me and two of my friends. And one of them was like kind of a prune hound.

The other one was like a short fat kid with just a giant cock. And then there was me. Yeah. And she was like, I'll blow all three of you. She just kind of offered it and we were like, really? She's like, yeah. And then we kind of were like, in the room,

we're like, well, who goes first? We were kind of deciding it. And the first guy was like, what's my place? And we're like, all right. I guess it's your parents are out of town. What about the guests? The guests should get first. Yeah.

And we're doing like rock, paper, scissors. Oh yeah. And I drew third. Oh. So I'm like, all right, this ain't great. And then, you know, I had a girl I dated for like two days at a time. And I was like, I went on AOL Instant Messenger

and I was like, hey, can we break up? So we broke up for this. And then. Wow. And then she blew the first two of them I was in the eighth grade I was just excited sure prospect of it and she goes I don't want to blow anymore I was like damn it I just I just broke up with someone for this what are you gonna do you can't be like oh come on yeah and then you tell

the guy tell me everything give me details how was it cuz you got a jerk off to it later or something. But if that was you, she would have felt bad and I would have gotten sucked off. That's true, I would have done it. But that's a lot of work to blow three guys. Not in those days. Yeah, I guess you're right.

We come quickly. True, that's true. We breathe on it, we fucking come. Yeah, you got a point there. All right, well call in man, we'd love to get to know you, we'd love to have you. Hey, you still owe me a blow job. All right, well call in, man. We'd love to get to know you. We'd love to have you. Hey, you still owe me a blow job. That's true.

See a picture. Now that other girl will finally know why you dumped her. She'll see this. She'll be like, ah, it was 20 years ago. I don't know what I did. I thought I was a great girlfriend. And then. We just started dating.

And one of the things when you're a kid, we're like, let's, you know, we're like, let's go steady, you know? Right, right. It didn't mean anything. We're good on you know, we're like kids, like, let's go steady, you know? Right, right. We're not gonna do anything. We're good on you for ending it. You kinda did the right thing. Kind of.

It's a toss up there. I did the right thing, it's such a funny thing to say. You did the right thing by breaking up, you didn't cheat. You're right, you're right technically. Yeah, but you also jumped her for a potential BJ that didn't even happen. I know, it's just funny to hear I did the right thing cuz I didn't

But I did I did But you did it's an interesting scenario when you break it all down It's not bad now. We got to talk to these two guys cuz I want to hear one of them's dead I have a joke about one of them in my Netflix special is the guy we used to jack off together. Uh-huh and Fucking heroin overdose.. Oh, man. Drugs, man. Don't do fucking drugs. No, I had two friends die of heroin growing up, too.

It's no joke. Yeah. Well, at least he got blown. He was first. Yes. He got first BJ. There you go. I hope he's up in heaven getting the first BJ

amongst the angels. I didn't speak at the funeral. What about the second guy? What's he up to? I haven't talked to him forever. He was a character. He's a funny guy. All right. You lose touch. We were so young. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Jesse, if you're listening, would love to hear from your buddy. Yeah, I want to know if that's how the second BJ was. Was it better because she was warmed up or was it worse because she was tired? I think you want first. Oh 100% I Think you want I think you want the first bleep beach

Yeah, cuz you're getting all the the effort out of the gate. Hey, you don't want to no one's choosing second, right? Also second now she's comparing the dicks, which is not good for me comparison which is not good for me. I don't want a dick comparison. Uh. Yeah, I don't know. Good time, those young days with sex were so weird and awkward and fun.

Yeah, you get some good stories out of it. Oh yeah, trying to think, I remember I hooked up with a girl, I was a virgin and I went to a dance and hooked up with a girl after, we all slept at this guy's house and she blew me. So I got blown before I ever got laid. Sam.

Yeah, which I guess is pretty normal. I think that's normal. Yeah. Third base comes before home. Oh yeah, good point. So I got blown but she didn't wanna have sex, which is fine. And then I got laid like a month later

and she wouldn't blow me. And I remember being like whoa, women are weird. I can't crack the code, whatever. Yeah, well some people, that's more intimate. Yes. I mean, I don't know. I don't know, I'll put my mouth on anything. Yeah, I don't, to me it's like,

who gives a shit, it's the same. Right. It's funny too, because I used to be a waiter and I would eat all the food that people didn't eat because I was poor. And people were like, that's so gross. I'm like, well I'd go down on her. So why wouldn't I eat her shrimp?

You know, that was my logic. I would eat her asshole. Might as well eat her steak leftovers. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Yeah, and also it's the same people that will eat butt. Yeah, right. And you're like, who gives a shit?

Exactly. I mean, a lot of the fries, it's not like you spit on all the fries, they're individual. Yeah, I would share food with her. Yes. It's completely rational. I mean, I get it. It doesn't look, you look like a raccoon over the garbage with the skillet.

Yeah. You're picking at it. It's not a good look. But hey, I was 19, I was broke and I'm not buying shrimp Yeah, shrimp is fucking great. I worked at a Mexican restaurant. So the fajita plates was my big score We have weird fajitas in the in Rochester with a weed fucking phenomenal. I haven't a few dozen like ages The smoke we got we got him take out but yeah the presentation. It's great. I heard Casa Bonita in Denver is. Oh really?

Okay, good to know. It's the South Park guys. Oh, that's right, they bought it. That's awesome. There's like an amusement park in there. It's like a city block, that place, apparently. Yeah. But yeah, fajitas are great.

You get the dollop of sour cream, the guac, the pico, the cheese, the bed of onions. It's celebratory. It's like you don't get faj cheese, the bed of onions. It's celebratory. It's like you don't get fajitas after you got laid off. It's like a feel good. Totally, totally. And whenever I worked at the Mexican restaurant, you'd walk the fajitas down and you had that poof of smoke,

that steam coming off, and then everybody would go, I want fajitas. So they were like, it was a great upsell because they'd see the fajitas and they had to have fajitas. Yeah, because it's like doing a dance for you. Yeah, yeah, and it was popping and crackling. Everybody loves fajitas.

Good name for a kid, Fajita Normand. Everybody loves them. Who doesn't like fajitas? If I was Mexican, I'd name a kid fajita. I mean, that's why we went with bodega cat because I thought everyone liked bodega cat. I did some guys show the other day, he goes, I hate cats. Whoa. And I was like, all right, he goes, I used to, there'd be a cat in my bodega cat because I thought everyone liked bodega cat. I did some guys show the other day goes, I hate cats.

Whoa. And I was like, all right, he goes, I used to, I, there'd be a cat in my bodega. I would go three different stores. I'd be like, all right. Well, I mean, what's the whiskey's bodega cat. Sorry. You know, no cats in it. If that helps.

I mean, who doesn't like, I mean, I understand that some people don't like cats. People hate cats. I like cats. I love them, but people... I just like animals. I'm kind of like, if you're fucking, if you're an animal that's, you know, nice at all. And I kind of like a rude animal too, okay?

Yeah. Something fun about a cunty cat who's kind of, who makes you earn it a little bit. Yes, exactly. Well, that's the problem is whenever someone says I don't like cats, I kind of look down on them a little bit because they're like saying, I need something to greet me at the door

I need something to blow me I need something to always be there for me and Cuddle me and if I put peanut butter on my sack, I need them to lick it and all that so I'm like How about you earn it? How about you be a little catnip on your sack? Yeah Winnie's not friendly at all when he's a fucking rude. He's a kind of a rude bitch, but that's true That's part of the charm part of the fun, she's not really friendly to anyone, she's rude to the big dogs. She's like the oldest one in Golden Girls. Sophia, little cunty, small, old as shit.

She's so old. By the way, in Golden Girls, you know they were like 41 or something, creative. 50s or something? Yeah, it's so young. Mrs. Robinson is 37 in the movie. 37, she's supposed to be an old bag. That movie's so good.

Yeah, that was really taboo. Oh yeah, oh yeah. He's fucking her mom. That is pretty crazy. It is, it's not a good move. No, but it's a hit. I mean, it's every porno. Fun fact about that movie, Gene Hackman was originally mr. Robinson

and and you know Mike Nichols on that set was such a tyrant that Dustin Hoffman at lunch one day on set was like I suck I'm gonna get fucking fired and Gene Hackman's like no I'm gonna get fired. Oh, he was right Whoa anybody got fired because he was too young. Ah, I see. He was too close in age, he's only like, I don't know, like eight years older, or 10 years older than Hoffman. Yeah, that's not good. Fun other fun fact, Mike Nichols,

if you could pull him up, he has some rare disease where all your hair falls out. Lou Gehrig's disease, yeah. And that's a piece, he had a piece when he was like nine, or something. Didn't know it, man, he had a piece when he was like nine or something Didn't know it he man. He was a fucking great director but I was watching that Gary Shanley doc that Judd made and Shanley and hated working with him really yeah, remember when they made what planet are you from he like would be like one take Bam, he's like move on. He's like no. I need to like riff. Oh wow

What what's another Nichols movie? Oh wow. What's another Nichols movie? Ah, fuck. This one from the early 70s. Pull up Mike Nichols. He's... Allergic reaction to an inoculation of whooping cocks. Dude, in the DiMaggio book, Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola does the forward. Uh huh.

I didn't know he had like some sort of paralysis from polio when he was a kid. Really? DiMaggio sent him a baseball when he was a little kid. Whoa. Because he always did that for little kids. Whoa. And he's like, I never forgot it. And it's like, man.

Wow. Oh, he did Wolf. Oh, Wolf's bad. You ever see that one? Spader and, but it's fun bad. It's fun. He pees on the guy. Oh, he did Closer, he did Birdcage.

Yeah, good movies. Heartburn. Oh, wow. What else? Ovaluxy Blues, Primary Colors. Primary Colors was fun. Oh, there's the Shanley one. Oh, he did Kid Stays in the Picture?

Oh, wow. That's like my favorite documentary of all time. Yeah, great book too. Talking... Arthur Miller. All right, he's got a couple of bangers. He was also, Nichols and May too, don't forget. That's right.

Like Nichols and Elaine May, that's like how they kind of made a name for themselves. Comedy team. Wow, there you go. Alright, hold on. Go up, go up. I saw something that grabbed my tits. There was one other in the early, oh shampoo.

Oh, that bombed. It did? Oh yeah. Oh, it's not shampoo, it's another movie. Oh, okay. I thought it said shampoo. My eyesight's fucked up. Oh, you did Charlie Wilson's War.

Oh, wow. Something's wrong with my eyes. I don't know if I'm sleepy or what but I usually see this a little better. Oh Fuck we're getting old my eyebrows are too thick for glasses I can pull them off. Yeah, that's a funny problem Thank I don't know every time I go to the get a haircut. They're like you want me to cut your eyebrows I'm like do I need it. They're like yeah. Oh you think you get do you need it? Yeah For me, they're just like, take out fucking two hedge clippers.

I don't think it's that bad. Oh, that's fine. It is, you just learn to accept. Is that the Russian, I guess? The Russian, oh yeah. Yeah, my grandfather had those, like the fucking Herman Munster, the grandpa Munster, and then he had the crazy ear hair.

Oof, those are fucking rough. Rough. No woman's like, could you get a little more ear hair? It's disgusting. I know, he was a bald guy too, and the hair was coming out of everything except his head. Yeah. He had the big glasses like Junior in Sopranos.

I kinda like those. Oh yeah, he was a cool dude. Korean War, fighter pilot. Oh, we got some boxes here. What do you got here? You open one? You open the other? We're sending stuff in folks. What's this? We might be drunk. Oh my god Come on we got an action figure. This is crazy Wow Damn, we look fucking awesome in this dude I love this. Who the fuck made this? This is from Sir Collect-a-Lot toys in New Hampshire. Whoa. Thanks so much. I'm honored. Oh there's a note. This is fucking incredible. Thanks for all the

laughs over the years your show means a lot to me hope to hope these find a nice resting place in the studio. All the best, sir. Collect a lot. You better believe it. Let me see this. This is going up on the wall. I love it. Whoa!

Do we take it out of that thing or do we? I think we leave it. Oh yeah, let's leave it. I think we gotta leave it. No, but maybe, I think it looks like it's protected there, too, that's the only reason I said it. Oh, I see what you're saying. I don't know.

Yeah, give that a give that a feel How cool is that? Thank you like like this. Would we leave it in there? I think you leave it in just uh just to be safe But I'll see if you can hang that puppy up in ten minutes All right, how cool is that? We got a toy now. We just need a disease named after us. So we're home free. I Love it. Oh, yeah, you got road gigs. I got a new special out on prime video Now we just need a disease named after us and we're home free. I love it dude. So yeah, you got road gigs? Well I got a new special out on Prime Video, Amazon, check it out, you've changed and yeah,

when does this come, yeah I'm in Miami, Miami Improv in August. Nice. And I think August 1st through 3rd, I'm at,'m in I don't know I can do Brunswick. Yeah Oh, so I'm in Hammond, Indiana the 27th with Chrissy D and nemesh Patel Nice, I think Jordan Jensen as well on that show. Oh fun. We got a yeah, Miami, Florida August 1st through 3rd we got prior Lake, Minnesota that's also with Chrissy and Nimesh then I'm at

Magoobies Comedy Club in Baltimore Yeah, the 15th through 17th and then New Brunswick August 22nd through 24th then off in September. I'm in Niagara Falls in Ontario and then I'm off to London September 18th, Belfast, Dublin, Paris, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Oslo, Stockholm, all over Europe. So I'll see you there, samorail.com or punchup.live slash samorail, follow us both on those, punchup.live slash mark norman, punchup.live slash samor. Slash mark norman, punchup.live.com Slash Samorail, slash sign up. That's how you do it.

Okay. But yeah, Mark, where you gonna be, man? I'm, as David Tell would say, I'm doing the Connecting Flights Tour. I got Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Rockford, Illinois, Rochester, Minnesota, Hampton Bay, that's the Hamptons out in Long Island, Richmond, Virginia, Greensboro, North Carolina, Anaheim, Thousand Oaks, Redding, PA, Red Bank, New Jersey, Colorado Springs,

Fort Collins, St. Louis, Atlanta, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Portland, London, Ontario, Toronto, Ontario to name a few. So come on out, more dates, go to the website, Punch punch up get some bodega cat. Punchup.live mark normand yes sign up punchup.live slash samorail slash sign up or instead of sign up slash tickets whatever you whatever is easier see us on the road buy bodega cat oh yeah love you guys for listening peters you're the best hopefully we'll get sallocues back in your first crazy story soon i want to hear this. Don't ruin But yeah, we got a whopper with the cues. Keep listening. We love you guys. talking shit about the fucking Pope and I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming

and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her and I get down in the same way And I get down in the same way We might be true