We Might Be Drunk - Ep 191: Yannis Pappas & Sean Patton

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Go see Sean at the Comedy Mothership in Austin Texas on August 16th-18th, tickets available at https://meseanpatton.com/ Big episode this week with a full house of Yannis and Patton. Also Mark drops a big news bombshell on us towards the end of the episode! Find the guys on the road: Sam Morril: https://www.sammorril.com/ Mark Normand: https://marknormandcomedy.com/ Yannis Pappas: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Sean Patton: https://meseanpatton.com/ Shop: https://www.wemightbedrunkpod.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wemightbedrunkpod Bodega Cat: http://www.bodegacatspirits.com We Might Be Drunk is produced, recorded and edited by Gotham Production Studios. Head producer: Matthew Peters https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/ If you want to start a podcast contact [e-mail] for a discount on services when referred by WMBD! Support the show and get 20% off your 1 st Sheath order at https://www.sheathunderwear.com with promo code DRUNK  

I love this show. It's like you guys were like 2 2 33 I feel like I'm shown up for a black comedy set in a black room Starts at 2 3 6 7 we kind of like it to feel like a bar So what time sometimes the guest comes like 20 minutes late or something. Yeah Yeah, hey, we're here. We're here that in We might be drunk. We're back. We're gay. We're doing it We got whiskey here. We got Sean Patton. We got Yana's pappas We're cooking the world's in a crazy place. Yeah, and you guys been here for 18 years Yeah, New York City. New Yorkers, buddy.

New Orleans and New York right now. New Orleans, yeah. What is the requisite now year-wise to be like, now you're a fucking New Yorker? You guys are New Yorkers. You got it? Yes. I think like 10 years you're in.

10 years. What do you think? Yeah, I think 10 years, you cut a ribbon, you've been mugged. Three times. Have you slept with a transsexual? Three times. Today. slept with a transsexual? Three times. Yeah. Today.

It comes in threes. So whatever you ask next, you're gonna say yes. So does he. Norden married a trans person, he should get a key to the city. Yeah. Yeah. Officially the mayor.

All right. By the way, this is the new batch of Bodega Cat. We're fucking sold out. Yeah! We're sold out. Wow. And so this is the new batch, it's three years instead sold out. Yeah! Were sold out. And so this is the new batch, it's three years instead of two years,

so I thought we could sample some of the new shit we're getting here. It's just fucking cyanide. Yeah. This is the biggest watch podcast of all time, we're all dead independent. Yeah. This says sample proof 94.

Yeah, that's a hundred. It's 94 proof? Yeah. Well that's not that crazy. Is that not that crazy? It's like a real. It's a a hundred. It's 94 proof? Yes. Well that's not that crazy. Is it not that crazy? It's like a real. It's rye. It's 94% alcohol?

Yeah. It's good shit. No, proof is. Proof. It's 47% of it's 94. So you could like legit clean your asshole with this. Yeah, you could put that in the bidet. Yeah.

You could clean out a wound. Bidet cat. Bidet cat. Bidet cat. Bidet cat. Bidet cat. An emotional wound. Wing. Just a taste, we got That an emotional wound wing

Just a taste we got three two more. That's fucking nice. That's a girl. Yeah, that's pretty good I like it done like I know what I'm talking about You see the legs Yeah, oh you know I could I, it's like a handful of almonds. What is that, is that from Scotland? Or warehouse in Brooklyn? Those are the two options. No, we can pull off in Scotland, no. We're not doing scotch, we're fucking,

we're whiskey guys. Yeah. Originally in the Am. There's certain parts of Scotland you go to where you're like, oh, you guys, you guys got this kind of shit too? Didn't you do an ad for that or something? An ad?

Oh no, that was Donnelly and and McCaffrey, right? And Saint Germain, I don't know but every time someone confuses me with Sean Donnelly It was the group But happens somebody somebody's gonna do this pod and be on the episode where that dog dies Don't fucking say that dude. Wait what? Like there will be an episode. Oh fuck.

Yeah. What the fuck, no I'm kidding. You gotta have like an EMT on Paul here while you. We do, we do, in the back. That's a good point. You wanna. If it tasted this, it would die. I was about to say, just kidding.

I mean I'm not gonna lie to you, you know this. The first time I had bodega Cat I was like oh whatever. And now the last time I had it, which was two nights ago at the cellar. Or like maybe a week ago when there was a bottle you guys were in. I was like oh this is matured. This is very nice.

Very good. Whatever this is. Yeah this is really good. Where have you guys gotten this into? Cellar, the stand, we're working comedy clubs and then branching out. Nice. But we got you know

Why doesn't every club carry that they? Well, they will they will they should just yeah poor osos have you had that it's good never heard of it Wait Burke, right sure you know that guy Fully loaded have you heard of this thing? Nah. I'm working on a gift back then. A cruise ship last October, do you remember? Who's gonna die first? Bird or the dog? Who do you think? They had to pick. Both are shirtless.

Sean, we should work on a drink. Called like Korean Market Dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crotch Sweat. That's what you'm gonna feel. Wawa's Wolf. Oh.

Gas Station Gecko. I don't even know what that is. Bodega Cat's a good fucking name. It's a good name. Hey, thank you. Yeah. That's a Yannis Papas and a Colin Quinn endorsement. Yeah, that is a good name.

On the name. Has anybody been like, fuck this dumb name? Oh yeah. Really? Oh yeah, my dad. Okay. Yeah, a couple people. Some people are like I don't get it,

they don't know, they don't live here. Yeah. I feel like that's one of those New York things you don't even have to live here to know about, right? A bodega cat? You'd think everywhere's got a cat. The farms have a cat, you know, a general store's got a cat.

Yeah. If you made a tequila, would it be bodega gato? Yeah. You know what I mean? We got some stops at the... We went to the Brooklyn Convention and we got some people stopping like, My dad ran a bodega. I want to try this.

And we're like, alright, we got the fucking... They didn't say it like that though. They were like, My dad ran a bodega! My dad used to have a bodega! Before he was deported. Hey, my fucking dad had a job like that. My dad used to have a bodega as well. Wait a second, are you Shammy Morill's kid?

There's a 0% chance you go in a bodega and see a Caucasian man. That's just not... My friend's dad ran one when he was Greek. Greek had a bodega? Yeah, Greeks, some Greeks. He did say Caucasian. Yeah, it depends on the culture. Light-skinned Greek.

Does Greek not count as Caucasian? I think Greek. Caucasian's solely white. I figured out what the Greek means. I thought Greek was white. This is the thing with the Greek, I figured it out. It's all based on socioeconomic status. So if you're a rich Greek, you're white. If you're a poor Greek, you're Puerto Rican.

That's how it goes. Puerto Rican. That's how it goes. Puerto Rican. It's in the name, poor Tariqa. Yeah. Yeah. I can't be the first guy to get there, come on. There's no fucking way I'm the first guy to get the poor Tariqa.

No, you might have been. No, there's no way. I've never heard it, we're from here. You never heard it? Yeah. There's rich Puerto Ricans, you got JLo. Yeah, of course That's yeah, is there another one? Yes Can't speak Spanish I thought yeah true true. Yeah, do we try the other one by the way, Matt?

Don't trim this part for you, too, please Let's keep it in but let's not maybe promote this part. By the way, J.Lo's numbers are plummeting, you see that? No one's selling tickets. I feel better when I can't sell, then I see J.Lo is out. Well, I mean, there's so many reasons to not leave the house now. True.

Just distraction-wise. Especially when your house is $60 million. I mean, well, I'm talking about people buying tickets. Oh, I meant J.Lo. Not going on tour. At what point do they go, I did it. At what point does JLo or Madonna go, why do you want to go out again? She's in the midst of a divorce again. She probably wants to tour. When I was in Atlanta earlier this year, I went and saw Madonna. Really? Still swinging big, dude. It's crazy.

Dude, really? Still up there fucking in cages, dangling over audiences. Something, the entire, all of our dancers were topless, but they were men and women. And there was something about the mix of the two where you were like, oh yeah, it's all tits. Yeah. Whoa. This is great, this is all tits.

Then she just, dead, topless beaches, tomorrow. How'd she look? Cause her face is a little banged up. I mean, she looks 65 years Tomorrow. How'd she look? Because her face is a little banged up. I mean, she looks 65 years old. She looks different. Yeah.

She looks different. Very different. Oh! Yeah. Yeah, she's not... I love doing Mars attacks. Yeah. Wow.

Kind of as a dola zone. Oh, that's not... Oh, shit! That's not... Oh, I thought you were about to say, like, this is someone who went to the concert and got fucked up and got fucked my bees. Confidently, I will still smash that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. For the story. Wait, was anybody... I'll say that up and I say my bees confidently. I will still smash that oh yeah

Yeah, the story wait was anybody by the way I love when people there for the for the story. I fuck Madonna gross That's the whole story Was anyone there that night at the at the Was on stage and it was like I fuck no straight up wait should we not maybe we shouldn't be repeating that He said it to a state an audience full of people I mean I guess their phones are locked up but he said to a lot audience I think it's pretty known that he did that oh yeah yeah wow good for that's not an insult to him yeah no it wasn't it so I just don't know if you like maybe he sold he told it cuz the phones were locked up right good be the case point. Just bleep that all out. Did you know?

So I hope I had to follow her she opened for Schumer at the garden She wanted to go on and do five. She was trying to stand up for like ten minutes. She did Fallon I remember that and so she's like I want to go on sold out of the garden. She died And I got to follow her and do well. Did you trash her? A little. What did you say? I said something like, I fucked her backstage, I thought she'd be funny or something like that and you know, like a virgin at stand up. I made a couple of zings and she was so bad that I got, I was the hero. Yeah.

So you're like, showbiz is crazy, I'm going on after Madonna at the garden. Wait, what's the, I'm trying to now make up fucking jokes with Madonna songs, but I'm only thinking two. Like a prayer for this to end. That was borderline horrific. Pull up her phalanx there, because she did stand up on television. She did on phalanx. Oh!

Oh, this is, okay. So anyways, I just always think that it's good to talk about what you know. That's what I do, I just talk think that it's good to talk about what you know. That's what I do. I just talk about what I know, right? So I'm gonna start with the... And talk about getting fucked by... ...younger men.

How about that? You guys think that's funny? Jade, with who she met? Yeah, you do, don't you? Okay. Oh, stone face. Anyway, so it's true, I date younger guys. Um, and I have my reasons, but I'm not going to go into them.

Uh, so, but I did find myself very strangely the other day at breakfast with my son, Rocco, thinking, um, I haven't had a date in a couple of weeks. And I looked at my son without thinking, and I said, um, do you have any friends you could introduce me to? Someone at net someone at Netflix was like let's give her a special. Yeah. Yeah, let's give her a three three three hour deal Yeah, see I think I went on after I was like I'll be your friend or something like that, you know Hey folks, we might be drunk as bros to you by... Sheets! If you're tired of having your dick sucked to your balls, your balls sucked to your legs, your legs sucked to your tits,

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I love that she can shake her ass and change the world, and we would have Taylor Swift and all these women without Madonna, and yet she can't do an act. It makes me feel better about stand-up. I think we should all start branching out into other because it seems like everybody just wants to do stand-up. Let's branch out into liquor ownership. Yeah! It's not an easy business. I don't recommend it. Make a coffee or something. I was gonna say let's find let's start a fucking rap group. Let's find what's his name? What was his name? God damn it, New York Comic.

No, Hannibal's back. Tom McCaffrey. Tom McCaffrey. But it only works if you're that famous, because no one wants to hear like a middle of the road musician do stand up. Yeah, although they'd probably be better. Didn't John Mayer do it as well?

He did, and he failed. See? Oh dude, that was bad. That era was fucking dog shit. Because he wasn't just doing clubs, he was popping into like bar shows. You remember the night him and, he went at Kamel? Yes, yes, pull that up.

Is it online? It went viral or something, the news story did. The thing was he went on stage at Suite and wouldn't get off stage and then eventually Seth was like, the next comic has to go on and John goes, let me bring him on. And then he says, all right, Seth says, Kumail Nanjiani, and then John goes,

and then does the thing that people did with Kumail where it's like, how do you pronounce that? Just say what it, it's fully fucking phonetic. Yeah. Kumail Nanjiani. And then. You're only in video here, I think you gotta go to like the news.

But then yeah, after the fact he like Yeah, they went at it. Yeah, but Kumail was at the peak at a height of his down. He's like a yeah, you flattened him Yeah, yeah, he said like you're set wasn't a wonderland something like that. It was labeled an accidental racist after that. Oh Accidental pretty good Proven racist yeah Accidental, pretty good. Accidental. Better than a proven racist. Yeah. Perfect. There's no accidental racist. No one's leaving a cross on your lawn like, oops.

Oops. I fucked up. I feel terrible. Whoops. I meant to say bigger. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. By the way, isn't it great as a Nick fan that nobody calls a New York Nick a New York knicker? Oh yeah. Yeah, that would be bad. It's just too long. We're too long.

Or Knickerbocker, the first time you see it. Hey, are you a Knicker? That's just, it's better to say you're a Knicker. I wonder why they don't do that. Wait, why don't they do that? Well, technically they're the Knickerbockers. Somebody made the choice, like, let's go Knicks. Yes, yes. Oh yeah, they didn't just. Yeah, they didn't knickerbockers. But somebody made the choice like let's go Knicks. Yes, yes.

Oh yeah, they didn't just... Yeah, they didn't go yeah, yeah. I missed his face where he was popping in. But he was there one night, the cello, remember when he was playing Katy Perry? Yeah, they were hanging out. Oh yeah. They really shrunk that season together, it was really knickerrigged.

I'm just saying. There's a reason. It's just, at some point someone said, let's go with Nick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I fully agree with that decision, is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, it's way too. Oh yeah, those nickers got whooped last week.

But isn't Kamel yelling at this guy sorta like when you see those conservative pundits go to college campuses and beat up like a 19-year-old intellectually, you're like, come on. Interesting. Well, no, no, no, no, because he went at Camille.

That's true. He went at Camille. He went 100% at Camille. And also the idea of like doing the set and then running the light and then obviously he was bombing. There's no way it was going well. There's a lot of ego there.

Oh yeah. And then it's like, I'm famous so I can fucking go toe toe-to-toe But no, but he's worked this muscle when you haven't right simple I know what it feels like though when you're bombing you're like, let me just chill one more one more I'll get it. Oh, yeah around we've all been there. Yeah, I mean that's Yeah, but also he's like it's like what do you what do you need this for? What do you want this for? Yeah, well, I think there's an emptiness that comes with success, no?

That, and I think as a musician, you're not really getting anything out audibly. Like you're not really saying what you wanna say. You're just like, she's hot, I love her. You're not actually going, hey, this guy's ugly, or whatever. With comedy, you can actually say what you're thinking. Good point.

And also, if you don't do the hits, they get mad. That too. If you try something new, for your song, they're like, shut up! Sometimes they like it, but he's another one where he's funny enough so like in between songs he'll get a big pop because he's pretty funny yeah musician he's funny yeah musician so I you we've all seen it though you see musician live and they get there like little staple lines a little one-liners

and kills and then part of them is like if I got a big laugh there yeah you know it's actually funny as fuck is killer Mike Oh, I saw I'm I saw it like run the jewels open for a raise against the machine like two years ago at the garden Fantastic show and he was just saying shit between shows really But was it low bar funny like oh, he's not supposed to be funny, so that's pretty good It was like witty if I was just like in a moment like okay fuck yeah, it was fine. It was it was funny It's also like that guy's been around. He's not like a point two year old.

I'm not saying they can't be funny, I'm just saying it's a different muscle to do a 50 minute set. Oh absolutely, yeah, it wasn't like comedy set funny, but it was like oh, hell yeah. I heard a story that he bumped a tell one night, and a tell was like, yeah fine, we go on, but then he was running a little bit,

and a tell went on after Zinged him and was like did you think you earned it? We're like Jesus. Oh, I'd hate to go on after that. Yeah before this doesn't matter how famous you are I wouldn't want David Teller to to say that to me. Yeah I mean, yeah, it was great about being a comic as you can you can win in that world Nowhere else. Yeah, we lose everywhere else, but in that moment we got it. It's literally the one place we have. That's it.

That's it. Like a guy like Louis CK can shine looking like that, but that guy at a speed dating is getting walked over. That's true. Yeah, I mean, unfortunately though, there's a lot of very pretty people who are considered good now. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Which whatever, I don't give a fuck. You're one of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're like Santa if he's off duty. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. I've said it before. I'm like, if you're attracted to me, you're making a choice. I respect this choice. I encourage it, but fuck. No, you got nice eyes.

You're a good looking guy. Great eyes. Yeah, I'm not like, I don't- In a Captain Morgan way. Yeah, but fuck. No, you got nice eyes, you're a good looking guy. Yeah, I'm not like... In a Captain Morgan way. I'm confident in, but I also know it's a blind sort of just reckless confidence. You know where I'm like, I'm just walking into a bee's hive right now and fuck it, I'm gonna get stung. But let's do it, you know? I already look like I've been stung by too many things. But you on stage is very passionate and and I think women respond to that.

Yes, yeah, I mean it's- And unpredictable, which is nice. Like, what's he gonna do, what's he gonna say, what's going on? I feel like a lot of audiences have downgraded and don't want that anymore. They wanna be flirted with. Yeah, a little bit.

There was a time when comedy was about challenging the audience. Now, some of the shit you watch, they're just flirting with the audience now. That's all they're doing. Well, you make a good point. Now I'm going macro. Go macro, man.

The dating world is all fucked up right now. Men and women aren't connecting, so maybe there's some weird thing to like, hey, I'm talking to a hot guy. I'm a young blonde in the audience. I'm talking to a hot guy. We're all getting laughed. We're all flirting.

It's sexual. Maybe that's kind of a Missing thing that people are craving. Yeah, we're finally making eye contact. Yes Ryan Hamilton's got that great joke. We'll just go out on stage and be like you guys are the first people I've talked to today Exactly, but it's real Ryan said I mean wait shit. I've said that It's 730 p.m. I haven't spoken to another human being yet. That's why I think autism. Corian's awesome, yeah.

Autistic people have an advantage. I think maybe autism may be humans evolving to survive in the AI era. Ooh! This could be Darwinism happening. You know how the Industrial Revolution was propelled by Irish people? Yeah, they're working hard.

Like that's why America got ahead because they were very well suited for the Industrial Revolution because they drink a lot, they repress their feelings. Yes. So that's a group of people you can force to build bridges and then they drink it down, my life is shit but they can handle it.

And now we're into the computers and that's why there's autisms on the rise because humans are adapting Wow Era Sam is a super person Wow, that's very interesting. Yeah, people say oh, it's a problem. There's so many artistic kids. It's like yeah, they're gonna win Yeah, they're gonna be able to understand computers computers gonna understand them and we're gonna be sitting to me and strong I'm like, where's the passion? They're looking at you like Michael Myers. Yeah.

Defied passion. There are three definitions for compassion or passion. Yeah. It's like, they look at it like it's a tailbone or appendix. Like, what do you mean, passion? Yeah. But I would also rather just be then the novelty for those people, watch this human possesses

desire, passion. Like, I'd rather be like the thing they watch. That's true. And connect with them. Because like, that's some of the, I don't know, I mean, I don't. I'd rather be the thing they watch. That's true. And connect with them. Because that's some of the, I don't know, I'm trying to phase out shit talking. I'm just like, it makes me fucking feel sick these days. I don't know why.

Why? I don't know. Really, it makes me feel great. But because, you know why? Because I feel like there's so much. That's true. Shit talking is like booze. It's great in moderation.

In moderation. You do too much, you feel shitty, but if you do the right amount you like that's a nice buzz Yeah, yeah, you know sometimes it's necessary and sometimes you're like I need to fucking shit time and much like booze it brings people together Yeah, awkward in a group. You're like hey you guys hate this guy like oh Fucking were all connected and I'm gonna bring people together right now. I hated the Jews Hopefully not in this room. No on X, on the world where the truth reigns. Oh, jeez.

They're translating speeches in English. I mean, I never thought I'd live to see that. Yeah, sometimes they hit that translate button. I'm like, wish I didn't press that one. That was unfortunate. Dude, I never thought I'd live to see the day where we didn't all agree that Hitler was a bad guy. I know Or 9-eleven was that bad?

People there was a tick tock thing of Osama. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly Yeah, if you see those squiggly lines, don't hit translate Sam's face with a bullet hole I think we've done everything now. So kids are like, well, let's see, let's actually see the other perspective. Yeah, well, they see. What haven't we done? We haven't liked Hitler yet. Yes.

Let's see some of the good points. Being a contrarian isn't always good. Yeah, yeah. In the 50s, you're like, I'll never cut my dick off. And now, here we are. Yeah. Things come around. Well, yeah, people are just protected and padded

and lived in a bubble all these years. It's like, what's pain? Yeah. What's actual? That's why when you ever hear, when you see all these fucks talking about civil war, you're like, you know what would happen if a civil war broke up? 90% of you would chicken the fuck out. Of course.

Of course. Just because you own a shitload of guns doesn't mean you would ever have the gall to actually use one. Well, that's why bomb shelter people, at least they're honest. Like I'm going down underground, I got eight cans of beans, I'm gonna be there for a while.

A Civil War would definitely look like a Revenge of the Nerds movie, wouldn't it? Like nerds and boys. No way, no way, because the nerds are winning the end of that movie. Oh good point. Well they got the computers. But it's just, yeah.

Who you going with if a Civil War happens? Ooh, I like the, sorry. computers yeah but it's just yeah like who you going with if a civil war happens oh sorry I mean I'm going with the losing side I'll be a New Yorker I know you're a principal guy he's got strong prints aha so you're gonna die you'll be on the losing team I don't I don't think like I grew up with these fucks they're not gonna conquer shit no there's gonna be 19 of them that set off to do shit. Then the rest are gonna be like wait What am I doing right now? I'm going with the wiry scrappy libertarians. Yo West yeah, yeah, Dave Smith is my president Bored with that I want to see a presidential debate on the Legion of skanks. We're getting close. I know

Robert Kennedy jr. Is on tiger belly. I mean we're getting close pretty soon like JD Vance was on come town I I think Andrew Yang was on this. I know, it's getting weird, dude. It's getting weird, like, I don't know. I love Bobby Lee, I love everyone. I don't wanna live in a world where my president knows who Bobby Lee is. Yeah, I know, he's in Gillis' pod.

Dude, he's on the wall in fucking Phoenix with his ass out on a wall in a comedy club. Bobby Kennedy? No, not Bobby Kennedy. Oh, oh, RFK. Yeah. I'm talking about Bobby Lee. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby Lee, his fucking, you know, his head Kennedy! Oh, oh, RFK! Yeah. I'm talking about Bobby Lee!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby Lee, his fucking, you know, his head shot is him like his ass out, and he's sitting there talking to a presidential candidate. The world has gotten a little too blurred line. I completely agree. That's what comedy's gotten so big. Yeah, and blacks and whites hanging out. The whole thing's gotta go back.

We need to get some borders back. Yes, dogs and cats mass hysteria go fusters Bill Murray yeah no you're not wrong well I think Robert Kennedy has a tough time getting on stuff so he's like oh this pod is five million views right I'll do it it exposure is exposure right and then comes out with painted nails yeah Dr. Drew was like said once he's like comedians are gonna have to save us. I'm like no we're not I don't want to save it No, I got John Stewart fucked it up for all Cuz John Stewart was so good at it smart

And then everyone's like I'm gonna do it my version of the Daily Show and like don't yeah The fuck you doing you know what most comedians are gonna do play to their base Yeah, that's all sure they're gonna play their base and get fucking to get tickets sold like yeah Yeah, no one's gonna don't try to save anyone you got like comedians like we're insecure people That's the only reason we're able to do this is a lint key with the comic. Yeah, that's right Yeah, we're one guy. We're getting two of the fucking five hundred thousand. It's getting to be a parody world It's getting very interesting. It's really weird.

Yeah, it's really weird. Vivek's on Shae Shae. Yeah. You know. I don't understand that sentence at all. No, I'm joking. It could happen. I believe it.

It could totally happen. I just wanted to say that sentence. Yeah, I was on Fox once with Vivek and I was going, what am I doing here? Oh dude, why am I here? Oh, I remember I went on Red Eye back in the day. Tom Chaloo now? I went on a Red Eye and the other guest was ambassador John Bolton

And I made a joke about him getting like mustache rides from interns, and he was like oh I was like this should not be happening none of this should be happening. How great was John Stewart's comeback? That was sort of like Rambo comedy Rambo where they went John. We need you. We're losing a fox and they like he's like I'm not in the world anymore I take care of orphan goats in New Jersey John we need ya And he's like came back and he's like eating Huffington Post getting strong Comedy Rambo remember when he came on with Tucker Carlson's 15 years ago now or whatever pull that clip up when he was on Tucker Carlson, and Tucker Carlson's like, I thought you're gonna be

funny. He's like, I'm not a dancing monkey. I remember being a young comic like, oh shit, that's incredible. Yeah. Try this next one. Oh, when he talked about his bow tie. Oh, new batch? Yes! This is theater, you wear a bow tie every day?

Yeah, and he goes, I'm on after puppets. Yeah. So which one is this? Uh, this is the 94, uh, proof. Wait, I thought we already did that. I know, I feel like we already did it. No, we did the 90. Oh, okay. 94. No, this is the 94 proof. Wait, I thought we already did that. I know, I feel like I already did it. Oh, okay. This is the one we did.

That show really aged him like the presidency though. Totally. John Stewart. One of the favorite things, when I watched his Apple show once, he said something very funny. He goes, hi everyone, I am whatever's left of John Stewart. Oh, that's good.

Really funny, yeah. That's great. Yeah. Cause he does look fucking weathered. He does. He's got all white hair. I did love what he, he still works with Chappelle. Which is kinda wild.

Opens for him? Yeah, they still perform. Oh yeah. Everywhere. Wow, Tucker's so young. He's so young, dude. Pre-Zinn Tucker. What do you think of the Bill O'Reilly Five-Rater story?

I'm sorry? I don't. I'm here to confront you because we need help from the media and they're hurting us. I made a special effort to come on the show today because I have mentioned this show as being bad. It's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America. So I wanted to come here today and say, here's just what I wanted to tell you guys. Stop.

Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America. I watch your show every day and it kills me. I can tell you love it. It's so, oh it's so painful to watch. Your partisan, what do you call it, hacks. Oh! You have a responsibility to the public discourse and you fail miserably. I think you're a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring.

You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you? It's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore. I just can't. You need to know, miserable. You need to know the one. I would have just said the opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy.

Like, John, I know you're a fan. Oh yeah. My mother loved Crossfire by the way. Oh really? Yeah. My mom was diddling to Stewart back then. She was. Oh yeah. Oh all of her moms were.

You Jewish guy. Remember when he was in Big Daddy? That's right, he was the brother. Adam Sandler, no he was the best friend roommate. Oh right. And Death the Smoochie. Death the Smoochie. Yeah, he had a hell of a run.

Dude, there's an alternate reality where Craig Kilborn still hosted The Daily Show. Oh that was a real... Wait, there's an alternate reality where Craig Kilburn still hosted The Daily Show. Oh, that was a real big fifth Beatle mistake. But would it have become Who Knows? Kilburn was great, but it was just a different show. I think he would have had a lull during when the Democrats were popular in comedy, but Kilburn would have been killing right now with the Republicans big in comedy.

He was. in comedy but it killboard would be killing right now with the Republicans big in comedy is what cuz he's just got that kind of arrogant kind of smart white male kind of snarky thing and I think you're rushing right now that's a good point also crazy Tucker's on CNN yeah what a world they're so quaint back there now he needs to go in every single cable news show and say the exact same thing you're killing America yes yes Because it's every fucking show now. It really is. I'll put it on in the background, I'll mix it around, but I'm like,

God, every one of these is fucking poisoned. Totally, and the live, Biden's fine. Viewers, viewers, viewers, viewers, yeah, that's all they want. People have forgotten about real life. They just, it's all, like, their digital presence has become the predominant thing by which they view themselves, and now we're just living in a world where. Yep. By which they view themselves.

And now we're just living in a world where people either feel famous or they feel shameful. Ooh! It's either fame or shame. And that's where we're at. And people are losing their fucking minds, dude. Yes! They're going like, if their social media presence

isn't big, they just feel shame. Which is why the autism is gonna win. Like you said, they got blinders on. They're not worried about twerking their ass or getting more Great time for psychopaths and autistic well There's people out there who's of social media feeds are more interesting than their lives 100% and that's fucking insane to me like yeah When you see people on the street like you walk around New York on a Friday night

You just see like reams of people in the East Village West Village just like just this and they're just living the it's crazy It's like what are you doing right now? That's not life, that's not your real life right now. It's nothing. You don't own that car. I almost got hit by a guy the other day. He was riding a bike while filming himself doing a vlog. Oh, fuck that. He almost hit me and I got out of the way,

I was like, you fucking idiot. I hope that was in his vlog, whatever. He just snapping at him. But I was like, God, are you fucking, that's stupid. But the funny thing is, he almost hit you, and you go, fuck you, and he's like, content. Not good, I got some stuff, conflict. You know what I'm saying?

And then someone recognizes you, and it's like, oh, almost got hit by Sam Talon. Or Sam Talon. Oh! Oh my God, that would be the comment, though. Oh my God, Sam Talon almost tackled me on the street. Sam Talon lost a lot of weight. I think Sean Donnelly made a great joke.

And you know. Woo, good one Sam J. Appreciate it, Narc Maron. What the fuck? You call him Narc Maron? Oh fuck. Oh, Mark Maron. You know what content I'm really conflicted about

is the, um, the, um, the pedophile videos. I don't even know what you I'm really conflicted about is the pedophile videos. I don't even know what you're talking about. Really? Stuff I watch on the dark web. I'm not on the fence about pedo videos. I don't know about you guys. Yeah, I'm not a fan. Because you knew it was going to gradually get to that, right?

It used to be that they would just, so it's vigilante like pedophile hunters. They're all over the internet, these videos. They picked up the torch where your boy left off. So it's vigilante, like, pedophile hunters. And they're all over the internet, these videos. They picked up the torch where your boy left off. Yeah, it used to be like they would find them and go like, you're a pedophile, let's call your wife. Now they just hit them. Whoa, really?

Yeah, now they're just beating them up. And it's got to the point where they just beat them up in the middle of a target. So they'll trick them, they'll catfish them to come to a target, and then they'll just beat them. Someone just got arrested. So someone, look up the story, Salacuse. They were on a flight, and they saw someone

looking at Pito, like underage, and the guy got arrested on the flight. Virgin Air. Oh yeah. Ah! Ah! Wow, is that right? If you was looking at a different kind of video,

you could have pulled up Air Tran. Ah! Ah! Ah! But that, I think that transition oh they show up and pull them off yeah Wow nobody's on that flight damn well I think they walked off already sir could I have your passport guys are guy's already reclining. Uh oh.

Oh, this is before the... It's all video recorded on PC Williams. Please listen to this. Yes, sir. We have been given information by Surrey Police... that you are currently shown as wanted... Wanted for what? In connection with a rape of a...

He wasn't even bludgeoning. Okay. No, this is a different story. Okay. I love the way he said, I wanted to in connection with a right Okay, this is a different story, okay. I love I love the way he said for what yeah, what could it be? Right Crikey Yeah, what there's another one so it was a guy. I look this up without getting on a list. Yeah Watching pedo porn on a plane guy gets arrested. Okay. We're looking at underage pictures on a plane This is good look look up pedophilia fact go to underage girls dot org Look up horny 12 year old

I don't know really yeah looking up what, I don't wanna type in that word. Arrest, arrest plane. Pedo. Underage. Pitty porn. Underage. There you go. Or just go.

Miners on airplane. Pedophile on plane for podcast banter only. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. It might be like a news story, might not be a video. The news story is American Airlines flight attendant accused of recording minors in the bathroom. I'm getting a lot of that.

Whoa. Yeesh. Whoa. Yeesh. How do you pull that off? Yeah, that's rig a camera level. Yeah, how do you, that's like an SVU episode. That's fucking.

All right, we got it. Here, Dartmouth. Oh, this is it? Uh-oh, wow. That's your list. Yeah. It says, the Dartmouth man faces multiple charges He was literally watching child on a plane sending text messages allegedly attempting to set up sexual encounters with You know who on a plane heading to Logan International Airport to Boston

Mmm. That's the new Sam Jackson movie. Pedos on a plane. We got to get... Oh man. Or Sam Jackson. Wait, is there a Sam? No. Oh, I'm thinking of... Who the fuck am I thinking of? Never mind. Strike that from the record. Snakes on a plane? That's what I was doing. No, not Snakes on a Plane. There's another Sam Jackson movie fuck broke black snake moan No, no wait with Christina Ricci tied to her the radiator. Yes. Oh, I jerked it to that That's the one right in the road. I know I remember everything I've ever turned off to that's the one

The plane one was that's this one. This is the one I was thinking of yeah, yeah, that was a weird sexualized, kind of a B movie. Turned Sam Jackson into a fucking fuck machine. It's all right, it's a little, it's weird. I just saw Long Legs. Is that good? The scariest fuck? It's a little creepy, but I think it was great.

That's what I heard, that's what I, oh man, my girl was pushing me to see it. Yeah, you're all right, Nick Cage is wacky and weird. He's really gone full tilt in this one. I mean, dude, I love what he's, I love all right. Nick cage is wacky and weird. He's really gone full tilt in this one I mean, I do I love what he's I love his path. Yeah, I'm just being like win the Oscar Then do the shitty what I that's royal. What was it the road not the Royal Tenement, but dude, I'm fucked up There's no way I buy you're fucked up off that, my third one. I've been to JFL with you I remember when you ordered a wine bottle to take back to the room Classiest and trashiest shit about Baby come on

Do over here to Roger Pardue over here. It got lit up. Give me a bottle of wine. I picture you shirtless painting with a glass. I was basically, cause we were there, that was the year we did the split, we were there the week before everyone got there, and then there the week everyone did get there. I think this was the year Mark and I were also there.

Cause we got lit up one night. I remember that. RIP JFL. Took it out back and just fucking old yellered it. No, Netflix took it out back. Yeah, that's what took its place, Netflix. I've heard some people say Moon Tower wants to take its place, but I don't think it's gonna happen.

Do you think something will eventually, because part of being a comedian is finding out what the next thing is. Is it Netflix? Is it Apple TV? Is it Hulu? I think it's live, to be honest with you. It's live. I made that prediction a while ago.

It's just, it's live. Like that's why Kill Tony is just getting so massive. Because the screen... So we're going back to live. We're going back to live. But it has to be on YouTube to be selling tickets. But it's a filmed live thing. And people wanna get in and they wanna be there.

Because think about it, being on TV or a screen used to be the unique thing. So hard, you're like, oh, I'm watching someone on the screen. Now it's like the easiest way to see someone is on a screen. The more unique thing is to go out and see it. It's the unique experience. Wow.

I think there's truth to that. So it's like live podcasts, that's why live standup is huge. Huge. It's live, it's live. It's live. Whoa But it's also we're gonna go back to theater like like plays and shit vaudeville. Yeah, I'm with you on this I also just hope it's like a certain like it's all it's all types of live because I've had recently I've had this fucking string of people being like man. I love that. Why didn't you talk to us though? Yeah I'm like cuz I don't care. Yeah Yeah. I don't. I'm a performer.

Let's talk. What was, like I had one guy break down everything he would have said to me. Oh. I was like, you have cats? That's your take? Yeah. You think I could have run with that?

Also, our whole thing is that we're socially awkward. This is the only thing we can pull off is that you can't talk, we can. You'll enjoy it if you listen, and then we leave. Exactly. It's a beautiful thing for us. I guarantee what I have to say is fucking good. Yeah, we've tested it. You know what I mean?

But also- I like to do an hour, and then I'm like, all right, you can fucking heckle me at the end. Once I get at least an hour- That's what I do. Don't say that. I don't care. If it's the end of the show, I don't give a shit once I get my new jokes all out.

Because then I'm like, maybe I'll find a new joke there too. I'm not a fan of that. I like, I like, right? And that's what I like watching. When I watch other comedians, I don't like watching a comic talk to the crowd for 40 minutes. I like hearing your ideas and shit.

You just don't build an act without doing at least an hour every day. Sure, sure. I'm so conflicted about that. Cause like now it's getting into the culture where people go, that's what a live show is. I've experienced it where they just start shouting. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm going like, all right, let's get a clip. But also I'm going like, it's kind of like, you're going like, oh, I know this isn't good. Yeah. I know it's not good. But it is good, but it's not good, but it's good. Right. But it's not good.

I know. And then I have women standing, ah. I mean, it's just like, it's gotten free for all. They can't wait to yell something. But I also feel there's just like, it's gotten free for all, they can't wait to yell something. But I also feel there's like, there's an audience mentality. I can't wait to get up and dance. It tears your earrings off.

But don't you think like an audience is like, it's like an organism, like they're all, there's like a hive mind that happens. So a lot of the time, the laugh just comes from a release of tension when you realize the comedian's not being a total piece of shit to the fucking person they're talking to. I feel like you see like someone be like, oh, what do you do? And the comedian's not being a total piece of shit to the fucking person they're talking to. I feel like you see someone be like,

oh, what do you do? And the entire audience feels that exact moment of like, holy shit, this could be me at any moment. And then that person says, I'm a dentist. And the comedian says, oh, well, how many, good thing you didn't kill yourself or whatever fucking dentist related thing. And then everyone's like, ha, that's so funny!

But it's not mean and it could be me. But hey, when it gets to me, I hope they roast me. It's like, roast you? How? I know nothing about you. You gotta go physical appearance. And then I'm just talking about how you look and then it's fucking boring.

I know, but they're included and there's that tension. You cannot beat the tension of crowd work. You can build up tension with a bit, but it'll never match that crowd work tension. What about, you guys want improv? I took a class. Zab, Z, Zoze. I mean, we're basically, this is the new improv.

But if we said, if we're doing an improv show, we would have a blast. First of all, we would have a fucking blast. And I think people would really love it. If like, I mean, we're doing an improv show, where we're like acting in the, improv, is there anything funner Than it like an imp doing improv anything

Pickleball no, no, I know what you mean though like the riff riffing is fun It's I don't mind it riffing is different than crowd work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm talking about it. It's seen like Sean's driving Hope he's not driving after this shit three go on us and Sean Donnelly's but yeah no honest is doing all the characters yeah I've seen improv show I went to one in Chicago, it blew my fuckin' mind how good it was. It was IO, is that it, OI, Improv Olympia, IO. Incredible, and then I've seen a million bad ones where you're like, I'd rather have a gun in my mouth. It was so bad. Yeah, when it's good, it's incredible.

Dude, years ago I did the Ashcat thing at UCB, I was like the guy who did the monologues, and the shit they were doing was fuckin' fantastic, but they were all like 15 year veterans. Yeah. And all, you know, I love that shit when it's great. Yeah. But I mean, riffing though, I do love riffing,

and I like watching riffing, but again, different than crowd work. Yeah. Where someone just says something and you go, like Rorick Scoville. Yeah. You watch him riff for a fucking 40 minutes, you're like, that is not crowd,

that's him just taking a moment and letting his mind run I love that I love that shit. I love doing that, but that's different I think there's people who are good at crowd work. It's just I would I would rather I would rather Oh, yeah, I would Bag unbelievable yeah, big jake fucking awesome great. Yeah, I mean like that other people are very hot people are into it It's great, and it's fun. Yeah, but I mean everyone is you three I've seen do amazing crowd work But if I paid if I paid to go see a show and the person yes, give me what I do sure forget about it

Holy shit. This is the best one really hundred the hundred proof. Oh, let me try it. I like this one as much hold on Wow That's fucking let me try the hundred proof. Yeah. Oh Now I'm fucked up. Yeah Thank you, but that one's got a kick. I feel like the other one Fucking good wait you don't like that. I think it's it's though other one was smoother I like the middle one so I might be alone. That's my least favorite. We wow you we've talked about this bar for you honest Oh, it's about riffing some of the shit you did just throw away That those shows those you dude you one time broke that. I've told you this before you broke down

every MLB teams Hat hat and the probability of it being stolen by which race in fucking Brooklyn. Yes It was 30 straight jokes you the top of your head. And I almost shed the funniest thing about bar four. Cause I would go up there and I'd do like 40 minutes and he would go like, did you write any of that down? And I was like, no. He's like, did you record it?

No. And Sean goes, it's just like you're performing to your teddy bears. Wasted. It was like gone. It was gone. But how great was that? That you had to be gone, it was gone. How great was that, that you had to be there?

Yeah. It's great, but the fact that you're not recording, you're having these brilliant riffs, you can't turn it into a bit or anything. That's so, it is wasteful. Yeah, it is. That was the first Marika. But it was, yeah, I would riff it there.

That was the first Marika there. But dude, the comics that came through there, he was there all the time. All the time. And like just, you look at them now, and Nate, and you're going like, fuck, he was there all the time. All the time. And like just you look at them now and Nate and you're going like fuck that was a cool thing to watch. Ali Wong and Hannibal and Che and Soder and you, you never came.

I never did it. It was a bit of a haul. Really? Yeah, cause it was Park Slope but it was this neighborhood bar and it was such an in the moment thing and once you left it was all gone. And then we get hammered every night.

There was fights and one Mexican guy threatened to blow the place place up once it was a real jail rules kind of show I remember real fun. There was one I regret never doing it I think I was in that mindset of like always in Manhattan shows so I could do like as many as I could And I think you're from Manhattan This is a New York thing that New Yorkers know guys from Manhattan like the thought of going to Brooklyn when they grow up It's like I'm not going to Brooklyn. Yeah. You're from Brooklyn.

But for me, it was more like an even 20 block radius. I'm lazy. You're like, it's more, you know, but. For me, I wasn't in clubs, so I was like, maybe I'll get on. It was just any idea of getting on was alluring. I live in Brooklyn, I'm a Brooklyn guy, so I was like, ooh, fucking staying in Brooklyn, even though traveling from Bushwick to Park Slope

is basically traveling, but still. But you got to watch some people really stretch their legs and try shit. Sean would fucking, it's so creative. It was just like, it was crazy. Sean is one of my favorite. Oh, thank you. Like, well, you have one of this bit I love about,

I forgot exactly how it goes, but the gist of it is like, fuck weekend drinkers. Oh, I'm still working on that one. I forgot exactly how it goes, but the gist of it is like fuck weekend drinkers. Oh John is like a victim of his own creativity. Yes I said it's like you watch him do one and you're like, oh you're gonna keep crafting that and oh, yeah And and then you watch him again. You're like, it's a whole new fucking act Oh, and so you're you're more you marvel at that and you go. Wow, he's company like yeah You should fucking just with that that that little little hold that right. Yeah, I'm working on it Thank you get still doing it, but it's like

I relate that bit so much of like weekday drinking is so much fucking more fun. Yeah So much more it's such it's like the professional drinking days But then also yeah that bit about the one of your albums where you get thrown out of the strip club for crying. Yeah, Scuttlebutt. That's a fucking classic. Which is the name of the album. You can actually buy, there's a T-shirt company

called Dirty Coast, New Orleans, you know Dirty Coast? Oh yeah. They did a Sean Patton Scuttlebutt shirt. Wow. So you can, DirtyCoast.com, you can get the Scuttlebutt shirt. You're a bit about medieval drunk. Oh, thank you.

That was amazing. And we'd go to Cabin every Thursday, that was your room. Yeah, that was another great room. You would close it and you would do, I don't know, six hours at the end of the night. Sometimes. And it was magical. That was a magical room.

Thanks. I mean, that's what's missing from comedy now are those great bar shows, man. I know. Like clubs are great, don't get me wrong, but the bar shows are where like the- A lot of experimentation. A lot of experimentation.

Why did they go away? That's the question. Because everybody got, because the clubs opened the floodgates. That must be it. Everybody's now obsessed with the idea of like getting paid for spots, getting club spots. And I don't know that you know.

It is better. Well filling a room is a bitch. You know, running a bar show, you gotta fill that room, you gotta promote, you gotta get comics in, you gotta tell comics no, it's a lot of work. I mean, yeah, we move Yeah, we it was our generation and then we moved on like we're all but it's good for the new generation They're getting paid they should be getting paid You know like they have so many shows that the seller now and and the New York comedy clubs and all those rooms the stand

Should be like these people should be getting paid getting paid But also there should be those shows the week where it's like it's not about the money, it's about going and like pushing the boundaries. Because sometimes in clubs, we can get away with that, but there's a lot of times where it's like, but then sometimes I'm like, no, I need a bar show to go like let this idea breathe a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've all had that where you go to the club, you show up, it's a fucking Sunday night set, it's a 1035 spot, so you're like, great like great. I got cool and you show up and oh shit Fucking Sarah Silverman just dropped in or Louie or someone or you know fucking Chris Rock Someone's dropped in and that means then the three comics after them are all gonna do their a game Yeah, cuz they're now following a legend and now all of a sudden you're like, well shit I'm gonna I can't go up with new stuff I know after four people just drew the swords. Yeah.

That's how your show was sometimes. Sometimes your show had all those drop-ins, you know? Yeah, that's true. But we, you know, I don't know. I liked that the crowds were hipper. What the fuck, is that a Casio? Timex. Timex, right.

But I like how hip the crowds were at Cabin. Like they really, like they looked at work, you're like fuck, maybe that was unoriginal or something. And then sometimes you'll go to a club and you're bombing, like what is this, all fucking Norwegians or something? You know, like there was something about, I'm playing Norway by the way, I shouldn't be saying that.

I'm playing there in September. You know what's hilarious, they're gonna stare at you the whole time and then when you get off the stage, standing ovation. Yes, yes. Seriously, they'll just, they'll stare and then you'd be like, I guess I'm bombing and you just finish your set and then You get off like funniest thing I've ever seen. Yeah opposite of my girlfriend She just stares at me goes what were you thinking?

They love cerebral. Yeah It's great. What are you doing Bergen? Where am I do? I was low is fantastic. I love I think I'm doing Oslo. That's a great town. Did you go to Bergen though? I don't think so. Bergen's like what you think of when you think of Norway. Where it's like mountains and smoke and troll and people just eating salmon on the street. It's fucking amazing. It's also the most beautiful city I've ever been to. Really. It rains like most of the year, but as far as the city, It's crazy. It's just beautiful No homeless no trash. No graffiti. It's crazy. And once again fuck tons of salmon. Yeah

People like Norway got salmon. That's like half their industry. Yeah salmon. I like that meal and burger. Oh, yeah and reindeer Hey pussy, you know That's gonna be a good meme. You know the meme of the two hands, the Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know that one, and the black guy, Carl Weathers. Yeah, it's Norwegians, Jews, salmon. That's what brings you together.

Everybody loves salmon. Yeah. You know that guy Josiah Johnson does all the NBA tweets? I don't think. He's fucking great, but he did it for Kaitlin Clark and Angel Reese. They had a play in the All-Star game and he did the Schwarzenegger fucking.

What was his connection? They, no, they, one's white and one's black. Oh, that's good, that's good. No, he's great. His NBA Twitter shit is fucking amazing. Last thing I'll say about the bar shows, because I think there's more to it than just the clubs opening up.

You think there's more? I think there's more. One than just the clubs opening up. You think there's more? I think there's more. One, we didn't really have the internet back then when we started, so we couldn't, that was a way to promote. Like hey look, Giannis killed on cabin, people start talking about it, and then they book you on more shit.

That and I think a couple bar rooms got a little dictator-y. I think a few bar rooms were like, hey you can't talk about that here, whoa this is a safe space, whatever. And then people were like, all right, fuck this. What did that happen? Did that really happen to you?

What? They wouldn't let you make certain jokes? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? Remember that backyard you did and that lady yelled at you? Oh my God. Shit like that, that's what I'm talking about.

But that was also during like- That was more producers. That was more like COVID, like people losing their mind shit. Sure. Yeah, I remember. But that was unheard of. For a joke I made, she like grabbed the mic from me

and I was like, oh my God. That's one time I wished they were fucking rolling the cams because that was a crazy moment. There was a lot, that bubbled up a little bit and there was a show I did, I'm not gonna say who, but there was a list of rules on the wall. This is on a roof during COVID. Oh, come on, just say the name, fuck him.

No, it's not a meme, there was a Corinne Fisher. Oh, okay. And she was like, one of the rules was no fat jokes. And she's like, well, I've put on some weight during COVID, so I wanna talk about my body and how much weight I've gained. And they were like, eh, and she's like, but it's my body. I wanna talk about me being fat. And then they were like, eh, it's too much, and she walked.

And I remember respecting her like, good for you. I'm glad she walked. Fuck this shit. That's funny, dude. There you go, tweet it. Yeah, that's. I'm glad she walked it That's funny dude, there you go Right there, I like you made the Jews black I don't think you spelled no regions properly that I didn't smell salmon or juice right either It was I think everything just the last thing I'll say about it because the audience is like this is sorry It's that they're so this is, this is too inside.

But we're having fun with it. But I think everything has its thing and then it ends. So I think it was inevitable to end. And I loved how every room had a personality. Like you went to Hannibal's room and you got booked at the club. Or if you got, what was the one at UCB? Where you're like, I got on Whiplash.

And you're like, I made it. That's a fine, if someone had a good set on Whiplash. And you're like, I made it. That's a fine, that would, if someone had a good set on Whiplash, it was Monday at 11 p.m., their week was, if you had a rough one, you'd fuck with your whole week. Dude, that show too, you were dying to get in these shows, you have a good set, and then nothing in your life changed. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

It was just the feeling of it though. Except the next low level bar show you walked into, there'd be two people who were like, yeah. Yeah, and you might fuck a six. Yeah. The guy who ran that show would not put me on for whatever, like for the longest time, he just wouldn't put me on that. Yeah, I remember that.

He did though, eventually though, right? Yeah, eventually. But by the time I got on, I was like, this show sucks. I think a lot of those shows got a little snooty too. That's what I'm saying. He's not experimental enough, man. Exactly, he's too jokey, too rich. Yeah, he's getting too many laughs.

He's too alpha. Yeah, yeah. It did get a little like that. And then my room was just like, hey, if you wanna try comedy, he might put you up. Well, you're more of an eye fight. Yeah. You're more like a bar room brawl.

I mean, there was times I would throw a heckle around, like someone would heckle, and I go, and it's happened a few times, and I go, all right, you do five minutes and then just watch them beat shit. Oh yeah. Somebody who started comedy, I'd throw them on, and they'd go on like next to after Norman or something.

It was just kinda, it was just. Well dude, I mean, we've all been doing it roughly the same amount of years. We're hitting like 20. 20, yeah, 20. I'm 20. 18, 19. Yeah, I'm 20, yeah.

So like, I just think like when we all started, it was like, yeah, you were like an outcast sort of fucking side, you're a weirdo. You're a different type of person that wanted to do this. Yeah, completely, we're in basements. We were just like, yeah, I wanna do this because it's the thing I care about, it's what I love, and I don't give a shit about anything else.

And now, it's not about that anymore. That's true. What's happened to comedy is what happened to music in the 90s, what happened to cinema in the 80s, where it just, it became, now everybody wants in, because it's this cool thing. Right. And you see it now where it's like,

being funny to a lot of people is the seventh, eighth, most important thing on the list. Oh, totally. For being a comedian. Well, Louis said it. You're right. Everything you just said is right. Yeah, yeah. And so it's like now you're watching,

like dude, how many people do y'all meet on the, I meet this person a lot. They'll come up to you after a show, they're fucking friendly, they're nice, they start asking you about your friends, you start talking to them, they buy you some drinks, you're hanging out, and then it's coming, you know it's coming.

And then about an hour and a half into the hang, they're like, you know, I've kind of always wanted to do this. Oh, every time. And you're like, well, what do you do now? And you're like, oh, I'm a fucking chemical engineer. I'm like, well, I think you missed your window. Yeah.

I mean, like, this should have hit you years ago, sorry. I'm not saying you should start at any age, but like, I think some people just listen to too many podcasts. Yeah. Madonna. Watch too many clips. I tell people, oh, I can do this. Yeah. People tell me that. I listen to them and I speak

and I go, did you hear everything I just said? And they go, yeah. I go, you're not a comedian. You weren't in your own head thinking about yourself. Right, right. Tell me about your parents. And they're like, my parents were great. And I was like, this isn't for you, bud.

I did a Gotham comedy club for some reason. I was like, will you talk to a bunch of comics or whatever? And I was like, sure. And I had to sit on stage and it was like 30 people, business suits, housewives, whatever. And they're like, I have two dogs and then I work at nine to five. So I don't know when I'd actually be able to get on stage,

but I wanna be a comedian. And how quick till I make money? And I'm like, you're out. You know, and then they're like, I have a cat at home, it needs medicine and I can't get out every night, but I wanna be a comedian. how do I get an agent? I'm like, you're out, what are we doing here? You gotta give 10 years of your life.

How do I get an agent is also the wrong question to ask out of the gate, but you know, you could always, Michael Che used to say to people, I think someone said to him, I wanna do it, he's like, you can't, and he's like, and if they still do it, he's like, then you should have been a comic. Oh, that's good. He would just say like, you don't want this. He would kind of talk them out, and if they still do it, he's like, then you should have been a comic. Oh, that's good.

He would just say like, you don't want this. He would kind of talk them out, and if they still wanna do it, they were meant to do it. It's like saying, I'm thinking about being gay. No, no, just go blow a guy. You have to think about it. You like dicks? I don't know, you're not gay.

You're not gay. You're not gay. There you go. Yeah, like hating your job and your life is- When do I start getting paid to suck dicks? You know? When do I start getting paid? How dicks? You know? When do I start getting paid? How do I get a dick sucking agent?

You're hired. I'll hire you. It's funny, right? Remember how much we wanted to get agents and now agents, if you get a podcast and have those agents want you real bad? That's so true. The tables have turned so much.

Well, it's like women in high school. I couldn't get laid to save my life. And then after you start doing comedy and making some money they're like, hey! What's shaking? Their agents are like, I like podcasts. We should put it on our network. Yeah.

And they're like trying to get in there. Yes. I remember when my agent was like, what are you doing? They don't pay. They don't pay, get on The Tonight Show. And now it's completely flipped. Well it's funny too when you,

like now you have certain podcast networks that are like, oh they do pilots for podcasts. You're like, what the fuck does that mean? The whole reason this works is because it's unchecked. You can do it, you know what I mean? Oh, the notes are gonna come in. What do you mean a pilot?

Let's give it a whirl and then we'll see if you can go on our network. Yeah, it was Starburns. But to your point, Louis said there was a comedy boom in the 80s, it fizzled hard, it was Starburns. But to your point, Louis said there was a comedy boom in the 80s, it fizzled hard, it crashed, and then the comics were like, Atell, Louis, all these. David Cross. David Cross, these cockroaches that stayed in it,

even though the apocalypse of comedy had happened, and then they became great. So he's like, if you still did it, you were probably gonna be big, and I think that might happen with us eventually. I have no fear of a comedy bust, because those of us who give a shit will still be doing it Yeah, just go back underground where belongs but like yeah, it's gonna hurt to lose some tickets though Yeah, but it'll be a nominal amount like if you have if you have to go from selling 300,000 tickets a year to 250,000

But it means you're not dealing with you're not having to fucking deal with so many other I'm just so many just shitty fuckers out there. We're in the one area of entertainment that doesn't seem to be suffering right now, which is like, it's kind of insane. Well podcasts, I think people got peak, I think it hit a peak where people were like, there's too many.

Yeah. I think that happened. People started overexposing themselves doing three, four different podcasts, and I think the audience was like, I can't look at you for four hours. You hear that Gomez? No, you're right. I was waiting three, four different podcasts and I think the audience was like, I can't look at you for four hours. You hear that Gomez? No, you're right.

I was waiting for the first, I was like, who's gonna get it first? A few names popped into my head. Who's getting it? I think Chris D's at nine this month. Yeah, no, you're right. I think Chris is a podcast. Yeah.

He's a podcast for Spotify. Yeah, I took a walk with him the other day. He's like, oh, there's going up on my channel. I was like, fuck. He's fucking jazz. He's like, me undies. I'm taking me undies off. Fuck you.

There's one thing I do. None of us. Trampstamps.com. I think, yeah, I think that's one thing none of us see coming is like, no matter how good you are, people sometimes just get sick of you. Yeah, you're right, you're right. They They just go there's too much of you. Yes. Or you just gotta keep evolving. I mean I know it's hard to say when you're selling. Or do a big bang and then disappear for a little bit. Yeah. Like Bird does it great. Yes. Like boom boom boom and then quiet. So true.

Boom boom boom and then he comes back boom boom boom. I remember Gillis, I'm sorry Gillis was you know doing everything, he these everywhere and they asked him to do the Brady roast. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this. And he was like, I'm good. And they're like, you're turning down the Brady roast? And he's like, I'm everywhere. I'm on Hot Ones, I'm on SNL. I'm on this, I'm on the arenas.

Like, I'm not doing it. They just get sick of you. And then there gets a point where they like, wanna tear you down because you're too old and they enjoy that. So it's like, yeah, a lot of bands do that great where they kind of put out an album, kind of tour, disappear for a little bit,

then come back and then, so people are excited to see your new thing. It's like, oh, when they just go, oh, it's another thing, you're putting one out every year, they're going like, no matter how good it is, they're just like, I'm sick of his voice. I'm sick of him. But then you have to balance that with being irrelevant.

So it's kind of like dance where you gotta find the median. But I also feel like, and this is probably the reason I'll never be as big as like a Burt Kreischer, but I love Burt, I fucking love Burt. But I would love it if the next thing Burt does is, comes out, puts his shirt back on, and just starts going, just evolves.

That'd be funny, he puts his shirt on and nobody recognizes him. Yeah, people are like, who the fuck is that? But I'm just saying like, where's Burt? Yeah, like I love the guy. I know I know it's his money managers like your bank account says zero Yeah, I don't know what happened. It's not working I feel like I feel like yeah, he'd lose some fans, but then he gained some more like it Yeah, Carlin did that it would be a balance. It would just be like what's next cuz like you know I should do a fuck you face. Just light a cigarette

Bill Hicks it out. Yeah, I love what he does that dude. I love Bert. I love Bart. Holy load is the best I love what he does. I love you. How he exposes other people. Yeah, he's great. It's great. And as a guy He's just he's just awesome. I have nothing but positive experience dude. Oh, yeah, we were all on fucking yeah It's just it was a load. It was a kind of into I was like I was having great I was like, you know, I need this. I blew out my Achilles on that fucking boat. Yeah, it was just good to hang and just feel like it was awesome. It was great. And he's out there at 2 p.m. Doing the speedo contest. We were there at 9 a.m. And we're drinking until 5 30 in the morning.

The funniest thing I've still maybe seen in comedy total total, and I'm friends with the funniest guys, was watching Miss Pat's family watch the Speedo contest. Yes. I was dying. I was laughing so hard it hurt. It was all these white guys with little dicks going out there. And then he had like the, what was he? He was giving money to the littlest dick.

Yeah, micro penis. Yeah, so these guys and the Miss Pat's family, just watching this black family just go, oh my God. Yeah. It was just the funniest thing. Oh yeah, it was white people shit. You know they went back to their community and were like, it's all true.

Yeah. Dicks are small, they can't dance. Yeah. Because people were going up there and like, it looked like they were being burned by a car cigarette lighter I also love how so embarrassing to be white and black people We're all like can we bring a guest and she's like I'm bringing my family. Yeah, she brought a fuck She's like I don't care. I'm bringing a little of North Carolina black cookout She's awesome

Cool yeah, I love the guy dude if Florida was a person it would be Birdcrab. It's just Florida. Oh yeah, he's Tampa all the way. He's just Tampa. Yeah. And then Sam again. Sam is smooth Manhattan. Yeah, you're a fucking handsome, this is a handsome pick then. You're fucking Upper East Side, meet me at the fancy, meet me at Chin Chin, we're having

a nice day, we're gonna work this joke. I know what that is. You can have a nice watch on We're gonna work with some jokes. I know what that is. You're gonna have a nice watch on and like a suit with a button down, but it's open. Yeah. And you're like, where is it?

You're gonna call Mark, you wanna come hang out? He's like, no, I'm doing another room in Brooklyn or whatever. It's my 20th set of the night. That's cool, man. I mean, this is some very like Philip Marlowe. Yeah. It goes going for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going for it. Solving the case yeah, yeah. It was going for it. Solving the case of Smith and Walensky talking about hot cougar. Half flirting, half hearing about her dead son. You've developed into just a fucking smooth kind of Humphrey Bogart. You actually like a Jew who's like good looking, you know?

Oh, fuck it. I don't know how to take this. You don't got any of that inbred shit. You're like. You got the James Kahn thing. Yeah, you look like your dad's like Irish or something Remember what they did to the last king of the Jews Crucify oh

What do you ever got about. I don't claim him. Yeah, that's you! Look at you! Oh, look at Elliot Gould. Look at the jaw on that guy. He was a cool dude. Is that Elliot Gould? Yeah.

Oh, is that from The Long Good Night? Long Goodbye. That's a good movie. Fuck yeah, that's a great movie. Great movie. It looks like me and Sam fucked. I've been to that apartment in LA. I've been to that apartment in LA. I've been to that apartment.

I've been there too. It's just like a shitty tower apartment. I mean like nice shit. It's a cool area. He wasn't supposed to be killing it in the movie. It was also making 20 grand a year in 1972. Exactly. Can you show that?

It really does look like if Mark and Sam were melded into one person. Somebody AI that shit. That's crazy dude. Elliot Gould. You've met Elliot Gould right? Never, no. Look like if mark and sam were melded into one person somebody a i that crazy dude eliot gould Yeah, you've met eliot gould right never no we tried to get him on the pod but he's in his 80s now I don't want to do it You over the door you're holding a bagel he's like hey he comes up dressed like a private I yeah are you gonna have

a baby I think so yeah yeah wow when it comes out it's not gonna cry it's gonna go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah exciting yeah ah well yeah the lady's pregnant Yeah, yeah exciting yeah, ah well yeah the ladies pregnant Fucking got instincts, baby On air Sorry I had to ruin the moment.

What'd you say? Cut that. But yeah. That's fucking amazing. Hey, puzzle. Put a little more in there. I'm going to the club. Yeah, I'm gonna get tips from ya. I'm gonna need some advice. I know you don't want to.

I'll call. amazing news well shit I officially lost the bet what do you mean from the from the wedding the the divorce pool oh the divorce pool was big you thought you thought they would be done it was a year year and a half before a baby. All right, so who gets the money? The baby? The baby, yeah. All right, good. Good to do a fund. College fund.

Yeah, see, little part. No, that's great, man, fuck yeah. Are y'all gonna stay in New York then? Yeah, Brooklyn. Oh, that's right. Fort Greene. Thank God, man. It changes you for the better in every way.

Come on. Every way. Really? Yeah, every way. Ah on. Every way. Really? Every way. Oh. Every way it does. It makes you, it just, you feel more purpose. You're more sensitive.

Oh, you mean being bad. I thought you were talking about living in Brooklyn. No. Yeah, no, I feel that too. They do it every way, man. 18 years now. Yeah. For the better, you think?

For the better. What about Amanda Knox? Huh? Nothing. Casey Anthony. Casey Anthony. No, I mean, if you raise, you gotta raise them. I mean, you can't have one and then go on the road.

Yeah, you can't drown them. What do you got now, too? Yeah, he's gonna drown them in the divorce pool. I took two full months off. I haven't been on the, I took, I consciously took the whole summer off. No, I mean two kids though? You got two kids, right?

Two daughters? Two daughters? Yeah, two daughters. Full summer off. I just, I said I'm taking the full summer off and my daughter's one. I wanted to see her like start talking. You know, I taught my daughter how to swim. It's one, I wanted to see her start talking. I taught my daughter how to swim.

It's just, it does change, I don't know, everyone's different but it changes. It changes everything. It used to all be about comedy for me and now it's like, I do go like wow, my dream is to just make these kids great and spend a lot of time with them and have the family that I didn't have.

So it's like, I'm trying to balance that. It's like transitional, but it's good, it's all good. It's all good. I mean, for me personally, there's like some dark moments where I'm like, who am I now? But it's all good. But what about the... No, it's great, you're never gonna see it again.

You shouldn't have ended on that. Yeah, no, it's great. That's his own shit. Yeah, that's my own shit. That's my shit, that's my personal. But isn't it scary that your parents, everybody's parents are flawed, everybody's parents put some trauma imprint on you

and you go, I'm not gonna do that, but yet you'll do something else. Not like my parents, no way. Yeah. No, it won't be like that. I think knowing it is key and just being okay with that. Yeah. And being able to recognize it and accept it

once you see it in real time, like, oh fuck, here's what I've done, now I've just gotta mitigate this, now I've just gotta help him cope with that, but I think that's, just having that thought already puts you a step ahead of most people. We all, we're all getting older, and you see some dad in you, you know, when you're like, oh, I didn't even meet,

oh, that was kinda like my dad, oh, geez, I'm turning into my dad, what am I doing? I said the N-word, you know, whatever it is. And it's inevitable. It's in there. You ever like see pictures of yourself and you're like, Jesus Christ, why am I making my dad's go-to face?

Yes, exactly. For the past seven times I've been photographed. They're like, yeah, it's in you. Every time my dad walks through Times Square, he goes, one who pays the light bill here. You know? And I go, oh, dumb dad joke. And I said it two days ago to my wife I was like oh jeez I gotta write some news you got a restaurant you're like let me get the rubber band

sandwich and make it snappy that's not bad you'll be looking at nannies you'll see pronouns you'd be like she heard no no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then you'll go, they, them, trans, that's the one. And you're like, I'm turning into my parents! Mark was raised by a trans woman. That's right. Transvestite. He didn't know. Oh, she was, yeah, she was a vestite.

It was a cross-dresser burlesque lady at night, and then blessed guy in the day. That's midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. I know. That's part of what it was. It was like a famous, in New Orleans, wasn't there, like a famous trans scene or whatever? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Still is. One of the biggest ones, isn't it?

Yeah, big gay area down in the quarter. That's what I love about that city is everybody's into some fucking, some scantily clad, some debauchery. Interesting. I'm gonna buy you. It's an interesting, weird city. There's a vibe. I watched a really weird movie from there. It was Tom Waits and fuck.

Oh, Down by Law? Yeah. Oh, Jim Jarmusch. That's a weird one. Yeah. But it makes the same mistake that every fucking movie or TV show film in New Orleans does where it's like, hey, now we're in the French Quarter.

Now 15 minutes later, we in the swamp. Getting attacked by big old gators. You have to drive an hour to get to the nearest, or 45 minutes at least. Didn't love it. That's yeah, I mean, it was what it was. But the interesting part of New Orleans, the city's great, but to me the interesting part

is the fucking, all the suburbs that surround it, because there's twisted shit. Well it's much like here, like you go to Staten Island, like well it's a whole different place. Oh yeah. It's part of New York City. Yeah. People just hanging, just everyone's wearing

Sal Vulcano masks. Pfft. A lot of great comedy out of Staten Island. Oh yeah dude, Jost. Eddie Pepitone, Jost, all the jokers, Pete Davidson, I think Dice. Brooklyn. I think it's from Brooklyn.

You think? Give that a goog. Yeah well. I think it's from Staten Island maybe will I think maybe Wu Tang Wu Tang very fun I want that a lot of good ones to long islands the best I got a lot of good ones Ah shit Brooklyn, New York did he grow up on Staten no all right no he started at pips and sheep said bae mm-hmm and Yeah, all right. Yeah, you're right said bae.epshead Bay, yeah there it is. There it is, all right. Sheepshead Bay. Where even is Sheepshead Bay? I mean Long Island, South Shore? Where's Long Island?

No, no, where's Long Island? Sheepshead Bay is Woody Allen and Larry Davis. Yeah, I think it's the other side of the Verrazano. When you pass the Verrazano, I think that gets to be Sheepshead Bay, the Howard Beach area. Right, when you keep going, yeah you keep going on the belt.

Colin Quinn is Park Slope and you're Park Slope. Park Slope. belt. Colin Quinn is Park Slope and you're Park Slope. Me and Colin Quinn are Park Slope. I'm Park Slope, yeah. Me and Colin Quinn grew up three blocks from each other. Whoa! He's my brother's age. That's crazy. My brother's a lot older than me.

Damn, BK. Do they know each other? Who? My brother and Colin, I don't know, I don't think they knew each other at all. Did the Irish and the Greeks hang out? Where I grew up, there were not many Greeks. Greeks were in Astoria, so my parents grew up,

my parents grew up in Flatbush as immigrants, and then moving to Park Slope then was like, it was like, when you made it to Park Slope, it was a bunch of boomer, hippie, gentrified Park Slope. Before that, it was all working class Irish, like hippie, gentrified Park Slope. Before that it was like all working class Irish, like Collin Quinn's family, and they still have a St. Patty's Day parade

in Bayridge and in Park Slope. I remember one time, like years ago, you came to my apartment, I was living in Prospect Heights at the time, you came to my apartment, you were like, dude, this neighbor, this block, used to be where cops came to get blow jobs. Yeah. Really?

So it's been interesting to watch the city for sure. Yeah. I mean, we're kind of past that now. I mean, it's been happening for so long, but it is interesting when you even just like under the bridge, like Dumbo is like the biggest, most expensive. It was just a ghost town when I was a kid. Well, he would say about the West Side Highway, how scandalous that was. Now it's- Yeah, and Soho. Even Alphabet City was- Oh, I remember when Soho was in the dead zone. Most town when I was a kid. Well he would say about the West Side Highway, how scandalous that was. Now it's, you know.

Yeah, and Soho. Even Alphabet City was there. Oh I remember when Soho was in the most dead zone. Yeah. Wait Sam, where'd you grow up? Originally Chelsea, then Upper East. Okay, okay. That's fucking, cause I, yeah, I would love to have seen,

I would love to have seen New York in like the early 90s. Well everybody talks about the romance of all the old days and the hookers and the blow jobs and the porno theaters, but now we got a fucking Van Leeuwen ice cream shop on the west side and you don't get stabbed. So what's better? That's better. I'm not saying I want to get stabbed.

But Midnight Cowboy looks good on film. Everything about what happened in New York is better. Of course. I've seen it though. It was traumatic, it was horrible, it sucked. Really? It was horrific, dude. Dead cars, it was steaming.

It was just like you got jumped all the time, like it was just bad. It was nothing good about it. Why do people live here then? I don't know. Why not just move? I don't know why my parents did that. I don't fucking know.

That's interesting. Yeah, I don't know why they did that. Yeah, look who's talking. I grew up in a shitty, poor, New Orleans. Before we moved to the, I grew up, New Orleans East is originally where I grew up, and that shit was fucking terrible. But then you look, I remember as a kid,

or when we finally moved, it was like, why were we there for so long? As an adult, you're like, sometimes you make a choice, you just gotta ride that fucking choice out. And I think our parents, well my parents at least, I think my mom lived under Nazi occupation, my dad fought in the Korean War and I just think they were like this isn't that bad. Where under Nazi occupation did your mom live? Crete, the island of Crete in Greece. Jesus Christ. Big battle there. Big important historical battle. Wow. Look at that, I mean just the graffiti, the newspaper,

this one lone businessman is like fuck my life Well, it was like that the Italian kids were bad, too It was just they were it was bad Italians really chilled out because when I was getting Italians were like scary You know swarthy chest hair at 12 leather jackets The new ethnicities came in the Albanians came in the Russians came in they got that baby into the scary Yeah, yeah, the Russians came in. Albanians are the scariest, right? The Russians, the newer immigrants. They all started as crime. Even the Jews in Brooklyn started as crime.

The Italians, everyone does a little crime. Oh yeah, dude. Except for Greeks, because we're not fucking animals. Just open businesses. You ever reach out? I mean, did you watch season two of The Wire? Oh yeah. And the Greeks are just fucking whacking everybody. You're like, eh.

You ever reach out to Dimitri Martin? Yeah, I'm friends with him. Oh really? He's a great guy. Yeah, I met him at Stamos and he's a really nice guy. Oh, the Greeks really stick together, huh? The Greeks do. The Greeks do stick together.

So do the, you know. You're boys with Stamos. Huh? You're boys with John Stamos. Yeah, yeah. He's a good guy. How'd that happen? He reached out to me.

He was, started watching my comedy. He just loved it and then he reached out to me. He was, started watching my comedy. He just loved it. And then he reached out to me. I made some jokes about him. My nickname on History Hyenas was Special Needs Stamos. So I think maybe you heard that. And he was just like, I watched your comedy. I love it.

And then from there, we just, yeah, we just struck up a friendship. Well, maybe after this, Madonna will reach out and we'll have her on. Yeah. And I went to one of those Hollywood parties. It's so interesting. Really? Do tell.

It's just, like, you know, it's like this Greek guy who does this party every year. I won't get into specifics, but like, all the big... He was big. He was big in Hollywood. One of the most powerful people, and he's retired now. But like, it was interesting to see, everyone has this view that they're drinking baby blood. It's just a bunch of rich people talking about

what their next project is. They got a call for their agent. Michael Chiklis was there, Maria Menounos, Neovart Dallas, and Stamos, and Dimitri was there. And all the Greeks kinda, yeah. Toga party. Yeah, they And all the Greeks kinda, yeah. Toga party. Yeah, they kinda, Toga party, yeah. And you know, it's just a nice house

and they're just rich and they're disconnected and they live in LA. Wow. You invented anal. We did a lot, we invented a lot of things. Math. Math. Philosophy.

Democracy. Democracy. Salad. Yeah, a lot of good things happened down there. Yeah, kinda started comedy too. What? Yeah, a lot of good things happened down there. Yeah. Kind of started comedy too. What? Yeah, we did.

Plato? No, Sophocles. Aristophanes. Aristophanes. We're like the Al Bundy of countries. Like, we were big back in the day. Sevilopoulos, the entertainer. And now we sell shoes.

Greek's haven't done much in a long time. Yeah, you got Stephanopoulos. We got, no, in the diaspora we've done quite well. Avros. Yeah, Greeks, we got Stav, Stav is doing great. Doing great. Yeah, we support each other. It's also when you get a lot done up front, you're like, hey, let's take a few centuries

off. That's true, that's true. No, because the Greeks did a lot and then they were fucking conquered. Yeah. Let's take a millennia. Wait, who conquered? The Greeks have just been conquered were fucking conquered. Yeah. Let's take a millennia. Wait, who conquered? The Greeks have just been conquered since antiquity.

Whoa. The Romans. And then for a long period of time and then after that it was the Ottomans. And then after that for four years the Germans. Yeah. And then we got our independence from the Turks and then. You guys in the Turks not doing too hot right now.

They're, they, Crips and Blood. Yeah. It's not really, they don't, you know. But it works, dude. It like, they hate each other, but there's no more bloodshed. That's what I wish for like the Middle East. It's sort of like, the UN needs to go in there

and just go, you guys are gonna hate each other. Yeah. It's like, you know, you know how you like, sometimes dogs don't get along? Sure. Like those people just don't get along. There's nothing that's gonna fix it. Right.

So you gotta get the whole country in there, the whole world in there and just go, this is a UN, like they do in Cyprus. So Cyprus, and actually it was just the anniversary of that, right, where they're celebrating Cyprus. But Cyprus is north and south Cyprus, so the Greeks are on one side, the Turks are on the other. There's a line, a UN line to keep the peace.

And everyone just fucking eats falafels and tzatziki's. And they just hate each other. They hate each other but it is all the same food. They have all the same food. That's true. There's a lot of crossover with the Ottomans and stuff. A lot of similarities. Good food that makes you not want to fight.

After a hummus, pita, falafel, you're like, I'm not going out there. You get a whole fucking wall of salmon. Yeah. Bring the salmon in there. Alright. Fuck yeah. Just like enough though. Send them some bodega cat. Huh? Yeah. All right, fuck it. Just like enough, though. Just send him some bodega cat.

Huh? Yeah, well, yeah, why can't a... By the way, this 100 proof is... The Irish fight? The Irish guy? I know, Norman's not in on that. You really don't like the 100 proof? I like it.

I just thought the middle one was better. The 94? But we might as well go 100 if we're gonna go. Really? Because, yeah, it's just got a good round number. It's 100 hundred baby. We're to the moon. Yeah, like Gleason like fucking we're gonna have to make them in hand with it to make sure That holds up. That's true. No All right. We'll see how that goes Well plug some dates guys. Oh coming up. Yeah

For me Syracuse August 2nd and Albany August 3rd. Upstate. And then St. Louis and Dania Beach in Florida. Hey, there we go. In September and then. Soul Joles.

Soul Joles. Pottstown. Tacoma, Washington, then it'll be at Skank Fest and more dates are coming in for the rest of the year. Hell yeah. Oh yeah, Milwaukee, all that, just go to my website. Liberty Live, yeah, what do you got, Patty? Next week, Syracuse and Albany.

There you go. Fuck you, Orange. August 18th, no, August 16th through the 18th, I'm at the mothership. Ooh. Yeah. Who you bringin'? Who you mothership. Oh Who your mother ship? I'm use a Howard Hall. Remember how I love our lives down in Austin. He's a beast. Oh, yeah, he's great

Um, yeah mothership and then August 31st crystal ballroom in Somerville. Hmm It's at New Orleans, Louisiana August 24th. Oh, that's yeah tip That tip of teen is doing with David cross and they're going going back on the road with David check out the site You know me Sean Patton calm got a lot of dates, but yeah mothership. I'm excited the crystal ballroom really excited all these but also September 2nd the FX show comes out It called English teacher wow Finally it's coming out on September 2nd. We shot it earlier this year. Is it about school? Yeah, it's great I've seen half the episodes. It's legit capital G great. It's fucking hiding. I'm watch that hell. Yeah

Patent can act yes. He can Can act like a comedian for 20 years? Man you don't know how many times I'd wrestle with that idea. All right, hey, I'm in the Hamptons doing a one-nighter at the Canoe Place Inn. I think it's almost sold out. Red Bank, New Jersey, Poughkeepsie, Torrington, Connecticut, never heard of it. Englewood, New Jersey, I'm going all over. I've been to every city, so I got to do these fucking shit towns. You're doing right back twice

Oh fuck me Guadalajara. I'm going back down to Mexico City. I fell in love with it So I said book me some gigs Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, St. Louis, Atlanta, Vancouver, Portland I mean, uh, Orlando for Lord Air Portland, London, Ontario, Toronto, Newport hold on Monterey, Oakland, Winnipepeg what do you got Sam B? What does this come out? I got yeah. Oh, yeah, it's a forget about my dates. Oh Go up. Yeah, I got prior Lake Minneapolis with Chrissy D and nemesh then we got Baltimore August 15 through 17th or Magoobies we got a stress factory August 22nd to 24th my new shit sucks So I got to write some new shit guys. I'm more

Niagara Falls Ontario, and then we got I'm all over Europe. We got a little euro tour London Belfast Dublin Paris Amsterdam To an answer we added an Amsterdam. Thanks for doing that Copenhagen Oslo and Stockholm Follow us all on punchup.live slash samorail slash marknormerslide. You guys on Punch Up? I'm getting on it right now. Get it, it's great. Gotta do it.

Is it really helpful? Oh yeah. It's helping. Oh yeah. We're all on it. Bodega Cat, whiskey.com, we're sold out right now. We're about to get more. Watch my new special please on Prime Video. Appreciate the feedback.

And love you guys for listening. Follow both these guys on social media. They're fucking great comics. Yes, and you won't miss your pod. Janis Pappas hour. Check it out. There you go. Alright, thanks gang. We'll see you. Get some more Dagger Cat and yeah. Praise Allah. I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans

This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be drunk