We Might Be Drunk - Ep 197: Simon Recs (Rex)

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Oh Yeah, and we're off the sound of domestic abuse Cheers boys Rex back in the building This the third one. I did third one. I think it is. Holy Wow. You had a solo then you had a Halloween and now here. Yeah, I's right. The Halloween was a classic. Oh, we got the picture of it right there. We got Simon in the...

Oh yeah. Where? The cartoon. You're Superman in one of the ambiguously gay duels. Oh man, that's so cool. Which I think put us on Robert Smygles' radar. That's right. You gotta get him back on with the insult dog versus Winnie.

Ooh, triumph versus Winnie. I got to just work with Smygles recently. He reached out, which was such an honor to do a live Adam Sandler song, because Adam couldn't do it, or it was too big to do it. And I performed one of his rap songs with Smigel doing Triumph back and forth. And I'd like memorize the song.

We did it live at a, what was the place in LA? The comedy place. Store? No, like. Improv? Family Magic Club? The one on La Cienega, anyway. Laugh Factory?

No, it's like a place they do live shows. Anyway. Dynasty Typewriter? I got to perform with Triumph. Oh, okay. That was fucking cool. All right. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a huge fan. For me to poop on! Yeah, he's, that was amazing. And Smuggles a man, dude. Yeah, that was cool. I don't know if you could do half of his, I mean, he would just go call everybody a virgin at Comic Con you do it all right. He's still doing it Oh good, okay. Yeah, you're still doing it a lot of fat. We did it. We did it. Yeah, it's great

Big fan don't you ever want to see some shit. You can't do is it jumbo the clown What's that? Oh don't even pull it up? I mean really I might have the name wrong, but he was just like an like an offensive clown who wants you really can't do John Wayne Gacy the clown That guy was doing some cutting-edge shit. Oh, yeah Were you wait you guys are was John Wayne Gacy. Yeah, that's a 70s. Yeah, go the clan was he the murder New York murderer What was it? He was 80s it up. That's back when serial killers were sexy like murder was it he was 80s that's back when serial killers were sexy like He was they could get away with oh he wasn't sexy you're right Who was the hot one that murdered people with a bunch of people had Bundy? Yes?

Overrated kind of you were a killer. He's hot for killer. He's attractive I guess and he did his own court case which is kind of sexy. Yeah, oh well He was his own lawyer. Yeah, unhinged is your type, he had a thing going. Right, right, and he escaped from prison. Pretty impressive. Crafty. I like him. Wait, he escaped from prison?

Oh yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, by the way, he was in the woods or something, he was so good he could just charm you. Yeah. He's in a prison outfit, he's like, no, that's not me. Yeah.

He's Arthur George you're looking for. When people lie, that kinda shit. When people lie to your face, that's not me. Yeah These aren't the droids you're looking when people lie When people lie to your face that convincingly you're just like maybe I'm crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And there was no Google so like he would just kill a bunch of people in Utah and then take a bus to Florida And he was just back back on the scene and what's his name? Zombies that guy who's that Dahmer Dahmer's kind of looks like a leading man in that oh, yeah, I can see it Yeah, my Dahmer joke the show did you watch the show on Netflix? No. Oh, it's pretty good. It's pretty well done It's super creepy, but it's set in the 80s so at one point they bring Jeffrey Dahmer's dad into the police station

They're like we got crazy news your son is gay He's a serial killer, and he's a cannibal! And the dad's like, he's gay? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I had a Ted Bundy one, I think, about how in the doc, they were like, the cop came on, he was like, that guy's problem, he was a narcissist. I was like, that was his only problem?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You know what Bin Laden's problem? Never punctual. Never, always late. No, but it's, those serial killer docs, man, they're, did you watch the Pete Rose one yet? No, I'm watching it tonight. Tonight I'm watching it.

Why, what's, it's all about the gambling, how he fixed everything? And just, he's a fucking lunatic, but he's so, for kind of a Neanderthal meathead, just unbelievable hitter. It's a fascinating story. Charming. Did they allow him back into the Hall of Fame?

What's the end result? No, it is funny that he's not in for gambling. They're like, well he did fuck a minor too. Like just use the minor and you don't sound as bad. Minor league. Cause Ty Cobb I think pushed his wife down a flight of stairs. Yeah. And they're like, you know, he's in.

Yeah. It's like, at a certain of stairs. Yeah. And they're like, you know, he's in. Yeah. It's like, at a certain point, you know. Well, his wife was of age. He pushed her. So it was fun. Well, what is it with serial killers and the three names? Is it because we identify them as three names, or is it just a coincidence?

You've got to find this comic, because he had a great bit on it. I forgot his name. And I forgot. Oh, I saw that. He had the bit about how they use the three names he goes and I think it's cuz they're in a lot of trouble. Oh yeah the mom. That's funny. Thomas Matthew Crooks get down here. You gotta find his name. I want to credit him too.

You can find that. That was scary. That's a good that's such a good angle. We need a new serial killer or like a mash. It's been a while right? I feel like we need something. I bet we've had them We just don't know it. There's so many they kind of go into the radar now I saw this thing recently about the there's like FBI case They're doing a thing on there's so many serial killers that are truckers because they can just drive around I know someone and that there's a bunch out right now that they're like I got a tail on or whatever They call it with it

And there's a bunch of serial killers who are truck drivers who just do it all around the country and they're hard to get yeah crazy They're listening to our podcast. Yeah pause they strangle hooker. They get back in the car I know they need pods for the long drive. That's true pop on us a little Rogan kill Tony We were just talking about Theo getting Trump on. That's a pretty crazy thing. That's crazy. I mean, what the fuck? And then I was saying, we were talking about this before you got here,

I don't trust people who don't laugh. Have you ever heard Trump laugh? This is a brilliant observation. I've never heard him laugh. What's his laugh sound like? And it's weird, yeah. He doesn't laugh. I'm trying to picture it, yeah. He doesn't laugh. I'm trying to picture it, yeah.

You gotta pull up the clip of Artie Lang and Howard Stern. I think he's on Seth Meyers telling the story already, but it's like it's the story of roasting Trump and how he like kinda couldn't take it. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, he's just sitting there like this, he's like

I'm gonna become the president now. Like Yeah roasted in the audience when it was like Obama was roasting him, right? Yeah, he didn't like that either Where is he? Yeah, I don't know where this might be a we have thousands of hours of footage of him from over decades And I can't you know, I got it. Are you lying rest in peace? He's alive. Oh, yeah Love I saw a sister the other night and I hope we can get him back on at some point. I'd love to get a best I love him Yeah, go go forward he told the Trump

This is Right so yeah Already was the best he was the funniest he was the funniest and then that out uh... it's because it's a passing to watch how quickly his opinion on the way is on the other side of it uh... what we're going to have a good was the funniest and that is what is going to be killed you know this talk about uh... sundown financial problems What was your best joke? Go ahead. He was the funniest. Let me hear two of the jokes.

You know, there's talk about some Donald financial problems in Atlantic City. Donald took his daughter for a drive through Atlantic City and said, someday honey, your name will be at the top of all these buildings. That's if you marry a guy named Borgata. He had to bring this crap up. No, you brought it up. He was terrible. He was terrible. He did a lousy job. I'm a loyal person.

I was nice to this guy. And it comes and hits me. Wait a second, though. It's a joke! I don't care. I don't take jokes. There you go! That's a great fucking clip, though, isn't it?

I think of that every time. And he got roasted on Comedy Central, too. Why do you keep a green to roast? Yeah, yeah. And to be fair. I haven't heard Biden laugh either. Yeah Yeah But to laugh you really have to know what's going on. That's yeah, that's true. He's just not right right right right right right right? No Kamala. I've only heard laugh. Yeah, I've never heard her say anything. She laughs too much. Yeah Yeah, yeah forced laugh, I don't know

Somebody said she's a wine mom, which is a perfect You know like she's she's laughing too much, and then she won't talk later because she's too drunk at somebody nailed it I can't remember who that was Bodega cat, baby. Oh dude with the new coming soon. We I mean we have it already I think but we had a shipping issue today, but, but Degacat, we're doing it, man. It's weird how shipments are on land and cargos at sea. Just a little, you know, it's weird. Oh, I never thought of that, holy shit.

Wow, that's good stuff. Some dyslexic person. It's like brain droppings type stuff. Yeah, that's the new car parkway. Right, right. You drive on a parkway, you park on a driveway. And I was sending you guys on our text thread those like, the origin of the epidemiologist, what's the epitome?

The epititis? Epidermis. Epidermis, what's the word for the origin of words? Etymology. Etymology, of all the terms from England, of like, you know, flashing the pan, or that Instagram page. When Norman turned me on to that guy, Cody Tucker.

Cody Tucker. Who's that? Oh, he played him before he just he just is like he'll tell you the origin of That on and it's fascinating. He's all comes from England like prison England Yeah, a lot of war stuff a lot of nautical stuff. Yeah, man break the ice break What was that? That's when a ship show up with the cargo and they they got to break the ice to get them in cuz they're like finally some More supplies break the ice let get them in because they're like finally some more Supplies break the ice let those fuckers drop those diapers off. Yeah, it started with

Pushing the envelope is how we started with it. Wait, what's that? I freak I sent it to you guys It's it's out there somewhere you want to find pushing pushing I think it was something with airplanes like the pilot had to push the envelope to with the Cocaine in it to this boss or something What is this? Oh, I thought it was the yoke the yoke was the I love how Google's now AI right? Oh, yeah I know and this is a good flavor. Holy I've been eating I ain't have that I'm gonna have here This is like a version of the all because I said I like all dresses that way you did you fucking what a thought

You consider it motherfucker Matt Clancy's all dresses my favorite potato chip winning You can't have any you know in Europe you go to those they've got those crazy chips in Europe flavors in Asia Oh, yeah, tomato crisps. Oh, yeah You guys like Europe that welcome to my go. I'm going when does come out? I'm going in three days. Where are you going? London. That's Europe. Where else? I'm going to Belfast, Dublin,

Paris, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Oslo, and Stockholm. That's Europe. Chosen all of them, baby. That's amazing, dude. That's great. Can't wait. And Frank House. That was a hot ticket. That was tough. You got one? I literally I couldn't get tickets is sold out

I'm like sold out six what is this fucking Taylor Swift? Yeah, it's insane I'm having to call in favors to get into the Anne Frank house. Yeah, so I put an Instagram stories I'm like didn't know it was such a hot ticket any help would be appreciated the Jewish mafia starts hitting me up Jessica Seinfeld's like let me know what I can do to help. Schumer DMs me, like, oh, these Jews are like, I got you. And someone said wait till Tuesday, they put up new tickets and I waited and I got them. Oh, nice. I remember I went by there and I tried to go in,

but I just walked by and I couldn't get in, so I just looked at the exterior of the building and it just was like Chevy chasing vacation at the Grand Canyon, like three nods, and then I left. So I saw the house that she hid in, that scared little bitch. That's all you need is to see the house, because the attic is a little lackluster.

Disappointed there? Yeah, there's not much going on. I'm sure she was disappointed too. She was like, a little more room would have been nice. Yeah, no article. No Instagram, no Twitter, what did she do in there? Yeah. I guess cried and screamed. She wrote. Yeah. there? Yeah? Yeah, I guess cried and scream she wrote

Go museum to I got tickets. I'm trying to go bang bang one day in Amsterdam. It's so annoying I got a few and others. Yeah, it's not enough time and you're not a stoner So you're not gonna go do all that don't do all that cuz I I try I'm not a stoner either And I was like let me get weed, it's Amsterdam, and I ruined my whole trip. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck, why are we not stoners? We're mental, we're all up here.

We're in our heads. Yeah. I think it heightens the doubts. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's why I like drinking it, fucking shuts up the boys. That's exactly right, I've been a stoner my whole life, I'm on 10 months now, no weed, because I go back and forth, and I notice when I'm not on weed,

the difference in my confidence and every socially, oh my God, when I'm stoned, I doubt everything. But you seem like a confident guy. Now that I know you, I know you have like a ton of anxiety. Yeah, I'm a fucking mess. But like I noticed the weed really makes me like anti-social, like not, I just want to hibernate and not socialize. And I'm trying to be social,

which is, we were talking about eye contact's hard. I can't order a, it's so hard for me to make eye contact with a barista. I can't look at someone in the, I don't know. Or any, I, I. Is there beneath you? I don't know, it's not that at all. You Hollywood scumbag.

I can't, I don't know, it's a weird thing. Like, I can't explain it. know it's a weird thing like I'm I can't explain it I feel like a fraud or something. I feel like I they're gonna know I'm foolish I don't even know what the bar I I think that's a high maybe I don't think because normally you just look at a person Right, I feel like it's the weed remember going to 7-eleven as a kid. You're like they know They have no idea they're never thinking about you're like a 14 year old idiot They don't give a shit my friend And I was so high once at home and my dad knew and he came in and he just handed a pamphlet on cigarette

Okay, it's the most passive aggressive way to be like I like he didn't know is we what do you what is what is this? What is this a shit shit moment? I hope not okay? What kind of dog is that she's a pug with a hint of chihuahua. Okay. That's why the chihuahua makes her rude. The pugs are so friendly, but she's, you know. How old is she again? 17.

Wow, she has the body of a 16 year old. Did I say that on the last one? Dude, we- Reuse it. I had her on the morning show segment in Baltimore, and then I'm walking in the comedy club there, and there's a line for people to get in outside, and as I'm walking around, everyone goes, Winnie! a line for people to get outside and as I'm walking around

Everyone goes Winnie Winnie I gotta get her like a little scarf and sunglasses Yeah Hollywood Yeah, like always this way She faces Mecca Always

Dude, you're, we haven't even mentioned this but you're in a new, you're in so many new movies But you're just in a new one with Pacino, Vince Vaughn. Remember I sent you a still photo? You were like, oh, I'm on mushrooms in Paraguay or something. And it's the director of who wrote True Detective. Yeah, yeah, Nick Pizzolato. Yeah, Nick Pizzolato.

I'm a huge fan of True Detective. That's kind of, I remember when that came out like 10 years ago, I was like, oh, Matthew McConaughey's my favorite actor now? What's going on? Like he had just been Dallas. He had just, exactly. That's when kind of TV started to,

not eclipse film, but get as good. You know when you saw him and Woody Harrelson, that show was just like, holy shit, this is incredible. Michelle Monahan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was actually supposed to be in this one, but then she got that new show. What's the show called on HBO?

Where they go to the different islands? It's really good, dude. What's the show called on HBO where they go to the different islands? It's really good, dude. What's the new show? Bad Monkey. Oh, is it good? Have you seen it? I'm two in. Oh, really? And I'm loving it.

With Vince Vaughn? It's like Carl Hiaasen book, so it's like Florida Noir. Is that Japanese? No, he's like a Florida Noir type. Oh, wow. Floir. But he's like Vince Vaughn being like a really fun so Vince is kind of well

I didn't know that Vince was having a quote-unquote comeback because I didn't think he went anywhere. I'm like oh He's on Kirby's on it, but like I didn't get the meaty rolls that we're used to him right I mean, how do you stay on top that long? You know I mean so he's a comedy guy. They were a comedy guy on comedies He's a comedy guy, but he's an amazing dramatic actor, so it's funny I just did this movie with him and Pacino and Shane Gill... I got Shane in it. Whoa! Yeah, dude! Shane did a little cameo.

I was on his couch. I was in Austin on his couch reading the script, and it was written for Norm MacDonald. Obviously, he passed away, so I was like, dude, you want to do this movie with me and Pacino and Vince Vaughn? And he's like, duh. We have the same manager. He did it. Wow! So that was awesome, and he had to... Oh, I'm not gonna say anything. I'll let it be he did great But anyway, it was weird doing a movie with Vince Vaughn

That's not a comedy because if it's basically the movie is like true detective, but a film There's no comedy, and I was like hoping to zing and zang with them But it's like heavy dramatic acting and Vince is so fucking good man He's cuz he's got a darkness under there like most funny people. But he did that movie years ago. Remember that one called Return to Paradise with Joaquin Phoenix?

I never saw that. It's like a midnight express type. That movie's awesome. Drugs, they get arrested. He's, Vaughn is fucking heavyweight in that. Really? He's a smart motherfucker man. And he's just a good dude. And we had a blast on set cause you know, 98% of the day he's got heavyweight in that he really he's a smart motherfucker man and he's just a good dude and we had

A blast on set because you know night is funny 8% of the day is doing this hanging out. Yeah, but uh He brought it man. It was really cool to work with him and and working with Al Pacino was just surreal You're looking at him. You're like that's Sonny Corleone under there He looks like an old like wizard and you're looking at him. You're like that that's Carlito? That's, wait, that's fucking Serpico? That's Scarface? And you're like trying to remember your lines and you're looking at him and you're trying to compartmentalize.

It was intense. And then after a few days, you're like, oh, he's just a person, but he's on Mount Rushmore of like the living legend. You know? Little guy, right? Yeah, he's a little guy, but he's still got the curiosity. He's still sharp.

He's gotta be like mid-80s right 84 He turned 84 on set. It was really sweet. We had a cake for him saying happy birthday He did a whole speech just got a lady pregnant. Yeah, you know he has a baby. Yeah, that's what I'm saying Oh, yeah, so they had the baby and the baby's like nine months old now, and that's a lot. That's a lot Yeah, yeah, I don't. He's never been married. Wow. What's funny too is that he's so sweet.

He's 84 so he would forget that he told you the story yesterday. Okay. But you don't wanna be like, hey Al, you told me the story. He should run for president. So he'd say the same thing on the time and it's like watching a rerun of your favorite sitcom.

Like he's still telling the same story. Right. It's Pacino, you gotta just let him go. You're like, oh no way, really? You know, every day. You know, not hoo-ha, we remember, it was good. But yeah, he was a sweetheart, and we went to see Ali Wong, and he had, so funny moment, he's like,

Simon, because we stayed at the Wynn, and she was playing at the Wynn, so he's like, let's go see some comedy, so he took me with him, I'm sitting next to him the whole night, next to him watching Ali Wong, as she's screaming about her vagina Yeah, and he was and I'm sitting there. I'm like hey man When was the last time you saw a stand-up comedy and he goes 35 years ago Wow and I go who? And he said Rodney Danger

And then it was a cool moment We're leaving like his security teams taking us out the back, and it's literally one of those moments out of a movie. So Ali opens her door, and she's like, Simon? And Al had walked ahead of me, so I was caught in this moment of, I don't wanna keep him waiting, but I gotta say hi to her,

and I see him waiting for me, and I'm like, does he wanna talk to her? I don't wanna be like, hey, come meet me. So she's like, what are you doing here? I'm like, oh, I'm just here shooting a movie. And then I feel him walk up and her jaw hits the floor. She doesn't know Pacino's in the building. And he starts praising her about beef, her show,

for five minutes and she's just looking at him, looking at me like, what is going on? And he was so sweet and he just praised how much he loved the show. And as we leave She's like it was cool mom. Oh Yeah, it was fucking bitch. She get the photo. No, we didn't get a photo It's a tough really happened you want that photo, but you don't want to ask it's a tough spot

It's fun. You said I never asked him for a photo because then you're immediately a fan and I wanted to Think I'm on not on his level, but like one of him, you know? So I never asked for a photo. If he dies though, I mean, he's gonna forget the photo a minute later anyway. He's just saying that, he's saying, look, I'm not a fan, just you might die. Yeah.

That's how you say it. Exactly. But yeah, no, that was cool. So yeah, it's called Easy's Waltz, but I got a movie that's out now, by the time this airs, it's out. You're in so many movies right now. Yeah, this one is called Blink Twice.

Zoe Kravitz directed it. It's with Channing Tatum, great cast. And it's a movie. And then another one called Greedy People with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tim Blake Nelson, some other cool people. Jim Gaffigan's in it. Oh, nice.

I feel like Tim Blake Nelson, he's not enough stuff. I feel like he's always really good, right? He's's in it. Oh nice. I feel like Tim Blake Nelson, like he's not enough stuff. I feel like he's always really good, right? He's awesome, man. Oh brother, we're art though? Yeah, he's awesome. That was awesome. Yeah. He was great as, what's it called, Billy the Kid.

Oh, in, what's it called? It's called Old Henry? Old Henry. That movie, okay, so it's funny you say that because I saw that on a plane. That's a wreck, Old Henry, never heard of it. I never, you wrecked this, I never saw this Shane wrecked it to me, and I watched it's incredible movie And I saw it on a plane. I'm like what is this movie?

I've never heard of it and the director's name was Potsy I can't remember his last name right now anyway Potsy did an amazing job in that movie so when greedy people was presented to me They're like it's the guy who did all Henry. I'm like I'm in Movie great great wreck I would think in the ballad of Buster Scruggs. Yeah to me they're like, it's the guy who did All Tenry. I'm like, I'm in. I love that movie. That's a great rec. I would think in the Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Yeah, that's a good one. He's great in that too. He's awesome, the guy's a legend.

He's a three name serial killer. That's right. Now let me ask you. What's it like going to Walk Around Vegas with Pacino? You gotta feel like a boss. Well it was more, he kinda hibernated in his villa and me and Vince would walk around and I've never seen a celebrity handle fans

better than Vince. Me and Shane were marveling in how he, is that a word, marveling? Yeah. We were reveling, we were revealing. We were blown away by how Vince handled fans because he's six foot, he's taller than you, he's like six five.

Yeah. Can't miss him, and imagine Vegas, it's like middle America drunk, he's just gonna get attacked. But by the time somebody recognizes him, he sees it and he goes up to them and starts talking to them before they could even be like, huh, and he gives them a spiel, does a bit, blah, blah, blah. Next thing you know, he's like spins off

and they're just like, what the fuck just happened? And he somehow avoids it by going into the fire. Alpha. Yeah, it's insane. And then me and Shane were just watching him work and we're like, this is incredible. Me and Shane are trying to hide. No one even cares about us.

It's Vince Vaughn, but he handled it so crazy. And yeah, he's that dude. Wow. Yeah. Oh yeah, he's that dude. Wow. Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm a fan. Out of the gate. I mean, when I saw him in swingers 30 years ago. So you know how hard it was for me in Vegas

for six weeks with him to never once go, Vegas, baby. Oh! I never did it once. That's money. I never did it once. My brother had that poster up when he was a kid. It was just on his bed.

Oh, with the martini? No, no, no, it was like a photograph, but it was a different version. It was them in the car and it just said Vegas, baby. Oh, yeah. And then he did Maid, which was another Vegas one. Maid was fun, though. That was fun.

What's that? P. Diddy. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, P. Diddy. Put him on the wish list of like all time guests. Yeah, P. Diddy, get him on there. Yeah. Now, Vince Vaughn would be fun as hell.

Oh, yeah. He's the best, man. Anyway, so circling back, get him on there. Now, Vince Vaughn would be fun as hell. Oh, yeah. He's the best, man. Anyway, so circling back, I think he's having... So Nick Pizzolato wrote this movie for Vince, and he was looking for someone to play his brother. For a couple years, the movie was kind of just written and done for Vince, and he saw Red Rocket, and he goes, that's Vince's brother.

Whoa! And so he just put me in the movie. So it was like I didn't even have to audition. He just thought I was just so rambling fast. He's like, he could play Vince's brother. That's the best. Is this like gonna be in theaters or a stream or what? Well, you never know, but I imagine a fucking movie

with those guys. Yeah, there it is. So Michelle Monahan was supposed to be in it as you see there, but Kate Mara is in it instead. And she was so sweet. Because Michelle Monahan got, what's that show? White Lotus. So she went off to do White Lotus

so she couldn't do the movie. Wait, that's how old this was shooting back? We shot this, we wrapped three months ago. Oh, so there's a new White Lotus. Yeah, they're shooting it right now in Thailand or something. So I understand her, like, if I had to choose between the two, it's like, ooh, a Deneer, I mean, a Pacino movie,

or Thailand for three months. Stav and I always talk about that because I guess back in the day, the actor William Peterson was offered platoon, and he was just like, and he did some shitty movie in LA instead. I think he was like, I could bang models in LA yelled at by Oliver Stone Right like which one do you go with yeah, and it's a he probably made the right choice for him

He's still doing he seems mentally better than Shane. That's a good point. So Charlie Shane told me that You guys yeah, oh wait. Where is it? Oh? Yeah? Me that you would you guys yeah, oh wait where is it? Oh? Yeah? Lotto that's me Pizzolato and Shane Gillis cool good name for R. Kelly Peterson did make fucking man hunter. That's a sick movie. Oh He was in man hunter. Oh, yeah, man. That's a great show fuck so I was gonna say that Charlie Sheen told me that Oliver Stone There there was a guy on set on Platoon who was a real Vietnam veteran that was there to say,

no, this is, you know, to make sure things were authentic. Like the Nick Nolte Tropic Thunder guy? Exactly, exactly, which was probably based off this dude. So he was a real vet who was there and he was a tough motherfucker and he was like making sure things were authentic. And I guess he and Oliver Stone really didn't get along because of Oliver's movie, and this guy's probably trying,

you can only imagine the shit that went on to buy the, I guess the last day of the movie, they got in a fist fight. What? And he said that Oliver Stone beat his ass. What? In front of everybody. Beat up the vet?

The Vietnam vet. Is there any record of this? No. This was just from his mouth to my ears. Wow, he beat up a fucking vet? The Vietnam vet. Is there any record of this? No. This was just from his mouth to my ears. Wow, he beat up a fucking vet? Yep. You're gonna listen to the director after that. Maybe we should do something different here.

Fuck you, I'll kill you. Cut to that vet murdering me. How was the shoot? We beat up a veteran. Yeah. Not great. Wow. He said it was like in the butt, in the brain.

Oliver Stone the veteran too though, isn't he? I could feel like I saw it. Is he? Isn't Oliver Stone a vet or no? I think maybe, yeah, maybe that's why is a veteran too though, isn't he? I feel like I saw it. Is he? Isn't Oliver Stone a vet or no? I think maybe, yeah maybe that's why he's like, you know, fuck you, I know what I'm doing. Yeah, I think he was. Interesting, oh.

He was a soldier in Vietnam? Yeah, there we go. He's probably like, why did they studio send this guy? I know what I'm doing. So it's a vet versus a vet, it's two. I went to a party in Hollywood once and he was sitting in the bushes. Like, I'm not kidding, he was like.

Binoculars, camouflage. It was like some party in the hills, and I'm with my buddy, and we're like, dude, is that Oliver Stone? And he's like, scrumming around in the bushes by himself. I was like, this dude's the best. He'd be a good podcast guest. He'd be great, he's kinda going full conspiracy.

Didn't he do that whole, oh, is he conspiracy? I mean, was he ever not? He made so many, made the doors, JFK, I mean. Oh yeah, he's great. He's always been doing it. 4th of July. He did those like documentaries too about like, he did the voiceover on some like National Geographic,

something like that. Yeah, he's got some QAnon stuff cooking. Oh man. Is QAnon still a thing? I don't know. Is it still around? Good question. BTQAnon.

Yeah, so what's the one with Zoe Kravitz?, yeah, so what's one with Zoe Kravis? So yeah, Blink Twice it's, Zoe did a great job, man. It's not easy to make a movie. I mean, I've, as you guys know, there's not a lot of good shit out there and she fucking murdered

it and it's like a suspense thriller, but it's got some comedy in it too, so I'm sort of the comedic relief in this movie, which is awesome. We shot it in Mexico a couple years ago. The strike held it up for a while, which was sort of a blessing in the end because then she got to really take her time in the edit

and do some cool stuff. And it's, yeah, it's, man, it's a great movie. I just went to the premiere a couple nights ago here in New York, and I saw Chappelle afterwards. And he was there. I'm like, Dave, what's up? I kind of know him just from being around comics and stuff. And he's like, man, that was a masterpiece.

That was his first. And I was like, really? He was just blown away. He was like truly blown away. And I was like, I told Zoe. I was like, Dave thinks it's a masterpiece. Where is he? She ran over to talk to him.

It was just kind of one of those magic nights. That's great. They let him smoke in the he? She ran over to talk to him. It was just kind of those magic nights That's great. Yeah, look in the theater I didn't see that buddy. I bet he would he's the one that he could smoke anywhere right he does that pretty much Yeah, yeah, you're in it. I guess oh yeah there eternity war just like hey You're special coming out. Yeah, putting gas in his car. Let me just father Gina Davis is in the movie and me and her became friends because she. She hasn't been around a minute I feel like. She's the best man, so she really loves bad,

corny dad jokes, so it would be like writing bad dad jokes on set and she'd write one and come up, so to this day we text each other bad jokes all the time. Nice. You know, remember her in Long Kiss Good Night, she was badass in that. Oh yeah. Samuel L. Jackson.

I never saw her. Earth Girls Are Easy and League of their Own. No, and she's in Mensa. She badass in that. Oh yeah. Samuel L. Jackson. I never saw her. Earth Girls Are Easy and League of their Own. Oh no, and she's in Mensa. She's an intelligent smart motherfucker. Oh shit, Thelma and Louise. Oh yeah, she won an Oscar for that, right? She won an Oscar for something. That movie is so much darker than you think.

Oh yeah. You just think of the fun, I don't know why I thought it wasn't gonna be darker because the scene that we all know is them just driving up a cliff Yeah, it was beautiful. It was friendship, but it is a badass movie. What does she get beaten up by a guy? Yeah, her husband's beating her yeah, and and they're just like fuck it and they're on the run It's it's it's pretty damn good, and he's been Ridley Scott, too

Oh, yeah, very young Brad Pitt that shit's yeah, that was his first thing right he was the hot guy on the couch Yeah, surely cowboy hat I think what was that, California? Yeah, California. Hey, okay. Yeah with a K, but this might be before, California. Oh, yeah, that was kind of the first thing I think he did that put him on the map wait is that his wife or his daughter where daughter. Oh, it's his daughter, okay? The waist looked a little yeah At one point I think on Valentine's Day She had a party in LA Zoe and I was sitting They're looking at her and she's sitting with her mom and dad and you're just like what the fuck like you know her mom is Lisa Bonet, Lisa Bonet her dad's

Lenny Kravitz, and she's just the alien love child And you're just like what she's She's like an alien, man. Let me crack this, it's like 60 something with abs. So hot. Yeah, I thought you were gonna say an ass. He's got an ass too. But he said some quote recently that he's been abstinent for 12.

No. Really? Good, we don't need him out there. That's why he, I know. Really? Get him off the market. I don't think we're competing for the same ass. That means you got a lot of pussy if you're... Yeah, that's right. That's like like when you know when you're young like at least I was I drank so much soda when I was Young that I'm like I don't like soda. Yeah

Probably how he was with pussy. Probably. He was like I had enough Dr. Pepper for a lifetime. To be absent You either get a ton of pussy and pull back or just get none. That's it. Yeah, I feel like he was the first pull back or just get none. That's it. Yeah, I feel like he was the first. One awesome way to get rid of a bad habit is to distract yourself with a habit that's similar but good. Fume has you covered with their award-winning flavor air device. Oh, that's nice. That's good stuff. It isn't a vape and there's no nicotine so you can use it anywhere and it doesn't become an addiction. It's a way to get out that anxious energy without hurting your body with flavors like crisp mint, orange vanilla, maple, pepper, and peach blush. You won't feel like you're missing out

in anything. Yeah, I mean this is awesome. I like having stuff just, you know, here. Nice little oral distraction. Wait a minute. Not my favorite oral distraction, but it's up there. Fume has served over 300,000 customers and you could be the next success story for a limited time. Use code DRUNK to get a free gift with your journey pack. Head to tryfume.com slash drunk. That's tryfume.com slash drunk and use code DRUNK

to get a free gift with your order today. All right. Oh, watch it. Hey, hey, Joy Mode! We Might Be Drunks brought to you by Joy Mode. If you're struggling in the bedroom, it's time to check out Joy Mode. Their sexual performance booster is an all-natural science-backed supplement to give you Johnson all the tools it needs and nothing it doesn't. Joy Mode also supports your blood vessel, cardiovascular and heart health.

Athletic performance, blood pressure, and physical erectile function. You never hear about function. All you hear about is dysfunction. So they're bringing back function. Functioning alcoholics over here. Oh yeah. Just mix it up with six to eight ounces of water

and drink up to 45 minutes before you get it on. 45 minutes before you get to the playground. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. And bring a kid or they won't let you in. I had to learn that the hard way. But yeah, this stuff's great and you know, a lot of these pills, you look like a psycho. A buddy of mine was at a restaurant with a girl on a date and he liked her and the pill fell out of his pocket and he went to the bathroom and two people said, get away from this guy, he's trying to root for you. And it was a dick pill. Damn.

So this is way better. So yeah, put that shit in your cocktail and snort it. When it comes to your sexual health, you don't want to skip corners. Forget those sketchy gas station ED meds too and get Joy Mode. Go to Joy Mode dot com and get 20% off use code drunk at checkout. That's 25% off free shipping with code drunk at usejoymode dot com. Sorry. U-S-E-J-O-Y-M-O-D-E dot com. Great sex solved naturally. Yeah, like I was absent in high school. Yeah. Remember when you enter your virginity

and you're like, oh, I'm gonna get laid all the time now and then you don't get laid for like two years? Yeah. But still good to just get it over with. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was actually blown before. Oh, me too.

No, wait, I had sex before blown. Oh, no, definitely. I was blown like nine times before I had sex. Whoa! Oh, no, I was blown like nine times before I said Whoa, really? Yeah, I was like sex was hard sex it meant something to them I've I'm in bed then they were like, oh boy, I don't give a shit But like but the sex are like now I'm not losing to you Yeah, well sex is natural sex is fun sex is best when it's one-on-one. What's hell? Yeah, dude. What's that?

Perry Como, no What's his name? Bobby Darren? What's the Duran D that? Is that Perry Como? No. What's his name? Bobby Darin. What's his name, Duran Duran? Oh, girls on film. Anyway, that's a song. Yeah. I mentioned to you last night.

Yeah, George Michael. I mentioned to you last night to my friend and I was like, oh, he's a really good actor. I was mentioning a couple movies here and he's like, I don't know those, I don't know movies. And I was like, he did the song My Dick. Oh shit, I love that song

Man that song is just won't go away Good, my dick Like herpes Yeah, exactly keeps popping up. Yeah, it went platinum. It's funny I got a platinum plaque in my bathroom and did a million downloads and I made the song in five minutes fucking around And it was like and then after Kind of like talking about getting laid for the first time, you think it's gonna happen, we made this song in five minutes,

Me and My Boys, it's a hit, and then ever since then I'd be like, hey, we're gonna make another, never again. It was like an accident. Well, we did do My Dick Part II, and it just wasn't the same. It was like we were trying to redo the magic, and it was about the money, dude.

Yeah. It's what? It's all sequels about the money. Yeah. Wasn't pure. So there's only a few sequels, Yeah, wasn't pure so there's only a few sequels Let's talk about them. There's only a few sequels that are better than the first Return of the Jedi's or no Empire Strikes Back Terminators arguably, I just watched it the other day the first one so fucking good, but that's a close one

Godfather 2 is better than Godfather. It's good. I don't know man. I don't know about the rando in the first one though It first one's fucking good fuck the first one though. It's first one Fuck the second one is incredible, too. It's more action-packed a second when he's in you know, Little Italy Yes, honestly that way he fucking knifes that mother. Yeah Jumping roof to roof. I love all that Hero and young Pacino it is pretty iconic. Oh, yeah, so that's pretty great. What's another good sequel? Best sequels? Yeah, what's another good sequel? Fuck, is there a list?

Dumb and Dumber. Terrifier 2. Never saw it. They're pretty violent. That just came out. Fast Five 11, come on. I went to try to watch one of those recently. Captain America is pretty good.

The Winter Soldier one. I've never seen it. I'm not a huge Marvel guy But that's a pretty good one people are saying that new wick is pretty great I was what I caught like the second half on TV the other night and I couldn't turn it off Yeah, it was unbelievable I put a podcast in on a plane and John wick on silent just because it's a great visual just to kick an ass on the Knife fighting and what podcast do you listen to? By the way that's so funny how overstimulated we all are. I know.

I feel like the pod isn't enough. I had a porno going the other day while watching a documentary. I was like, what am I doing? I'm getting the worst and the best kind of entertainment at once. And you were jacking off to JFK. Yeah, I guess last night, it's funny, I was trying to sleep in my hotel room in Brooklyn and it was just death silence and I was like like I gotta put on like an audiobook or something I just lay here with nothing with my thoughts. I'm gonna fucking lose my mind

Oh, I was like okay. Just see if you could lay here and not entertain you're like oh I've done that so fucking hard so hard to just sit there and especially on the road Oh my god home is easier at least your home But on the road on the road and some weird hotel home. Home is easier, at least your home, but on the road. On the road and some weird hotel rooms. Sopranos is like white noise. What did you say about white noise? Sopranos.

Oh yeah, or actually put on brown noise. I do that. Just to have some. What's brown noise? It's like white noise but different octave or something. It's louder. Yeah. Brown noise.

Oh, all right. More violent. I got it. All right, well I was just in Martha's Vineyard and I'm like, alright here I am the most relaxing place on the planet I'm sitting on a porch in a rocking chair looking out at the ocean as boats the seagulls and I'm like What who's texting me? Hey, let me check my for you page and watch some poor twerking yeah, you know we're fucked so I put the iPod You gotta leave the phone in the room like I yeah, yeah, you gotta have it out of your way

Yeah, I feel we didn't grow up I'm older than you guys But um I I feel like these kids now man that are like these kids that grow up with the phone They're gonna be so fucked cuz they have access to the hardcore porn at ten years old. I Man my ex-girlfriend I remember we were having dinner and her little brother and her friends were in the other room and her dad's like, guys, come to dinner.

And I'm like, guys, come in. And I go in the room, it's like three 10-year-olds sitting around an iPad watching the most hardcore disturbing, and I'm like, oh, they're fucked forever. They're fucked forever, they're hardwiring, it's like they think they gotta do this now. And there's a virginity, it was like violent porn. It was disturbing. I'm like oh, this is just every kid now Wow access to that sure our parents look at us like that, but we just had I remember my stepdad had like a playboy

Under the cushion and it would just be a still photo of some boobs and you look whoa But yeah, this is a remembered summer camp like jerking off in the fucking bathroom stall to like a club magazine. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's hot. Yeah, club was hot. Club was cool. But that was hardcore. That was hardcore.

Manatration. Yeah. But you're just like, fuck, you pass it around. You're like, this is page 67, it's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. You gotta fucking check it out. Buried out in the woods. Yeah.

No, you're right, it's over. There was a picture from 2000, and it was in New York. It just was on, I saw it on Twitter somewhere and it just said, look, no one's on their phones. I know. I see that all the time. I think you were more alert with your neighbor, but also like sometimes it is good to zone out.

It's tough, it's a tough line to walk. Yeah. It's hard, if you can get over the hump, like you're like, all right, I'm gonna pick up this book and read it. And everything is telling you, fuck the book, get the phone. But if you can get over the hump of the boredom, you'll get over the hump, you're like, all right, I'm gonna pick up this book and read it. And everything is telling you, fuck the book, get the phone. But if you can get over the hump of the boredom, you'll get into the book.

It's like watching a foreign film, just give it like five. Yes. Same with reading, you just have to just commit to the. Oh yeah, and I would say the same with sex with the wife. She's like, I don't want to, I'm like, give it five. I'm done. She's reading.

Yeah. Yeah, she's reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Well, fuck me. But yeah, gotta push through, you gotta do it. And when you get to the other side, cause they say if you go, they have all these retreats now where you go for two weeks and you don't use your phone and the first four days you're like, Yeah, dude.

Jonesing and then you're like, completely cured. You just gotta get through it. But don't you kinda weirdly judge those people a little bit? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Because when I was like, I just go back to a retreat and I'm like, you're fucking weird. Yeah, yeah.

Like I admire you, but it's weird. Yeah. And they always tell a story, they're like, here, the first day I was crying my eyes out. Yes, yes. I'm like, yeah, I don't wanna do that. No, that sounds like hell. But they'll get there.

I bet kids too in the future will have a thing where they're like, going off phone is cool. Well I heard kids, I heard now, I forget who's telling me, that kids who are like 15 and 16 are like social media is corny, that's what my parents do. Yes!

Yeah, that now it's kind of like old and corny and like your parents do it. Good. That's how full circle it's gotten. Yeah, is it gonna be weird though when rap is corny? I know. You know, cause we like rap. Right. So my kids are gonna be like, oh rap sucks. Yeah, that's like oldies. It's how full circle it's gotten. Yeah, it's gonna be weird though when rap is corny. I know. You know, cause we like rap. Right.

So my kids are gonna be like, oh rap sucks. Yeah. It's not gonna be corny, it's just gonna be different types of rap. Like, if you listen to rap now, it's so different than the rap we're up with. That's true. Like, it's so funny, I'll hear this shit.

By the way, can I give you a peeve based off of that? My peeve is when the gym plays music, that shitty. Oh God. You gotta play broad. You gotta play broad stuff at the gym Yeah true It's gonna be over in the family It happened to me yesterday My boy wanted me to eat one of these

Get Sean Paul the fuck off at the gym I don't even care what people say Shut the fuck up I had to put my earbuds in to mute the sound of the music Yes Because it's so I do the same thing Well it's better than when. I do the same thing.

Well it's better than when the guy brings his own boombox. Oh yeah, I remember that. Famous story, I used to work in the rec, so it's just old people and poor people, and me. And one guy would have the rap music blaring every day, we all hated him, but you know. Radio Raheem? Yeah, exactly. But there's a racial component, so you let it slide,

and then another guy brought one in one day, and they just played it together, and they hated each other. And they're like, fuck you, fuck you, this is my music. And he's like, but this is my music. And now everyone else in the gym is going, now you get it. We hate all of you. It's like when someone's loud on the phone in public,

on speaker phone, and everyone can hear you, you wanna go up next to them and do the same thing to shut them up. Yes do the same thing. Yes! To set them up. Yes, the Larry David. Yeah, oh is that a Larry David? Yeah, he's at dinner one time and a guy's on this phone like, I know right, then the guy said this

and then Larry David just starts going, oh man, the other day I was doing this and the guy looks over and he's like, what are you doing? He's like, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. LD.

And then going back to the reading thing, man, I feel like I'll read a book and a week later someone's like well. How's the book? I have no idea what I read it's hard to retain. I don't retain any I truly have no idea what I read and then on top of that I'll read a page, and I'm like I was just thinking about 87 other things I got to read the same or fucking times well you got ADD. I do have a PhD yes Yes, I'll do that when I read drunk sometimes. I'll come home drunk. You could read drunk. Clearly not. Oh, I'll come home and I'll try and then I'll just be like I'll be like 40 pages in the next day. I'm like fucking I don't reread all these pages

I was blackout drunk any book recs. I you know what I loved is the I Shout out Matt Ruby. I said this on Rogan recently, but Matt Ruby told me to read the Agassi book called open Oh I said this on Rogan recently, but Matt Ruby told me to read the Agassi book called Open. Oh, yeah. That's Ghost Ridden by- When he was on meth? Is he on meth? Yeah, it's incredible. Whoa.

I loved it so much. I heard it's great. I never read it. Even if you don't like sports, you'll love it. Okay. It's moving. It's hilarious. It's fascinating.

It's a guy who's so hard on himself and obsessed and such a rebel. He called his dad the dragon He hated his dad. They sent basically sent him away He referred to like these tennis camps as prison because they knew they had a prodigy on their hands So once they saw him they didn't want to get rid of him and he knew that and he was like fuck you I hate I hate it here. Whoa, they were just the dad would call and say like no no money's not a problem We want him here. Whoa, he just heard like, oh, they just added time onto my prison sentence like that, I had to stay there.

But he realized he was miserable there, so he was like, I'm gonna act out. So he would go get like a pink mohawk and earring. He'd start dressing in like jean shorts, he'd start dressing like a girl and be like, fuck you. And he'd win these tournaments dressed like that as like a rebel, it's hilarious. I mean, he's an awesome dude.

I just, I have so much respect for him. But then also he's like. Everybody says that book's good. It's incredible, it's a ghost written by the guy who did the Tender Bar, which was a popular one. But he. Good wreck. Dude, he's.

JR Mooringer. Yeah, he is just so hard on himself the way we are. Like, he's so, he's like, I couldn't get over the hump with Sam Paris, but dude, he had this insane career. He's like top 10 ever. So he hated tennis the whole time. Hated, that's how he opens.

He goes, I fucking hate tennis. Wow. And he married Steffi Graf, who was like, you know, one of the best female players of all time. Oh, that's right. And, uh. That's gotta be awkward. And he was in love with her for years.

Whoa, that's like prior marrying Joan Rivers, you know? It's crazy. Crazy. Yeah, but no, it's so good. The book is, I come put it down, man. I got a rec book. Please. Blood Meridian.

Yeah, I've heard that's great. Man. Who wrote that again? Fucking Oppenheimer de la Renta, fuck, I can't remember his name gang Cormac McCarthy No country for all men yes

Yeah, which I tried to read but then if you see the movie first I know everything that's about to happen and I'm picturing the actors they hired so yeah I think you can't go that way you got to read the book before the movie Yeah, you got blood marine they've tried to make a movie out of it a few times, but they it's too good You can't fucking do it and it's cursed because every time they've tried something's a movie out of it a few times, but it's too good, you can't fucking do it, and it's cursed, because every time they've tried, something's going wrong, it's incredible. Bookmark this, I wanna remember this. Yeah, Blood Meridian, it's like the most violent,

dark, fucked up book, you'd love it. How's the violence on paper? It's, yeah, it's there, man, it's, yeah, it's disturbing, and yeah, I recommend that one. Picking it up, dude. Yeah. He also wrote The Road, which is a good movie. Great movie.

Yeah. What's that guy's name? Never saw that. Vincent de Laforia, no Vincent Price. No, D'Onofrio, no. Oh shit. Oh here's another rec I got, is when you're trying to think of something,

don't Google it, give yourself a couple minutes and see I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. Yeah, and then you'll get it history of violence Yeah We didn't Google dude Vincent Price, I just watched a movie. He's in he great actor from the 40s, you know He was the guy in the Michael Jackson video too yeah that's right but bless you that was adorable that was like the cutest sneeze I've ever seen was that he's the guy goes bye I'm coming in the beginning of thriller he's like come out and suck my cock whatever yeah dude he's uh I watched this movie with called uh fuck saver from heaven it's with gene tyranny Really? Oh my god. What the fuck dog? I'm trying to keep it low

That was crazy strangle a fucking bird Savor from heaven yeah gene tyranny was like the hottest chick. Oh really you know you're a noir guy you Did a movie called Laura? What that's like one of the best noirs of all time, huh? But Vincent Price is in that with her too But he's in this one called savor from heaven and it's fucking it's basically fatal attraction before fatal attraction Well, he meets this gorgeous woman on it. I mean we have pull a picture of him better on tinder He meets her on a train and he's like she's so hot ends up marrying her

She's furious anytime. There's anyone else in the picture crazy jealous Uh-huh got a brother who's disabled and she like hates the brother for just being there Wow ends up marrying her. She's furious anytime there's anyone else in the picture, crazy jealous. He's got a brother who's disabled and she like hates the brother for just being there. Wow. So I'm not, I won't give too much away, but it's fucking hilarious. Oh, she's hot. She was a fucking fox, dude. Muchy muchy. Now is she related to Moira tyranny?

No. Okay. Hey, here's a random thing. You guys notice like if you watch Cheers or something, everybody looked a lot older in the 80s That was 40 years old why no doubt about is that well? They smoked on planes and things were didn't know about health. I think people were rougher There wasn't as much health stuff going around no one was like vegan or gluten vegan Mortensen. Yeah Live longer. I think you just kind of like you just kind of like why got a stay

The ones that life expects me moves further up. You're kind of like yeah, I think you just kinda like, you just kinda like, well, I gotta stay. The ones that life expects and he moves further up, you're kinda like, I gotta get this shit tight, I gotta stay together, but. It's just weird how everyone looked old, and do you think there was really hot girls back in barbarian days, and would they just get kidnapped and raped to death?

What happened with hot girls back then? Look at Wilfred Brimley, pull up a picture of Wilfred Brimley. Yes. That guy was in his 40s, and he looked like he was 87. Well they always show him versus like Tom Cruise. Yeah he's 22 right there. But when he's like young, pull up young Wilford Brimley. He's still fucking. He was never young.

He was never a kid. No. Look at that. Wow. Let's see Paul Rudd, they got him next to Paul Rudd at the same age. That's not fair though. Was he in Cocoon? Tim Walz and fucking. Cocoon, yeah. Brad Pitt, I'm like, put anyone next to Brad Pitt.

That's true. Oh, Cocoon was about them staying young, right? I think he's playing like 40. Jesus, see, you're 50. I know, I don't get it. That's crazy. You look good, man. I feel good. What do you do to stay looking so?

No wife, no kids. That'll do it. It's crazy good man. What do you do to stay looking so no wife no kids? That'll do it. Yeah, I sleep I sleep alone. He's 51 in cocoon. Wow That's hilarious No one ever checked in on him. Like maybe this guy's got some problems with health Looks rough, you know, I'm really obsessed with god Chris Elliot get a life Remember that sure and he plays a 30 year old paper boy and he lives with his parents and it's his real dad in the show.

But he's 30 and he's like bald and old, but he's 30. And that's my rec, that show, they're all on YouTube. It holds up, it's so fucking funny, it was such a weird experimental random comedy, like it's fucking brilliant, man. He's the best. Oh shit, speaking of recs, I gotta give a hard rec, dude.

Yeah. Uh, Incoming, on Netflix. What's that? Oh yeah! The Cernan Brothers wrote a new movie on Netflix called Incoming, it's like super bad level funny. Really? Wow.

It's just an airtight, have you not watched it yet? I haven't seen it yet. I haven't even heard of it. Dude, it's so funny. Really? I feel like we're watching kids. It's fucking, you'll get have you not watched it yet? I haven't seen it yet. I haven't even heard of it. Dude, it's so funny. Really? I feel weird watching kids. It's fucking, you'll get over in a sec. Really?

Cause it's written by adults. That's true. And it's just a bunch of freshmen who are terrified of being freshmen in high school. That was the most awkward time. It's just fucking killer. All right. It's hilarious and it's got heart, it's great.

All right, I'm gonna watch it. Watch it, dude. And we had the Ternan brothers on the pod who wrote it and I feel bad I didn't watch it before it came out, but I don't feel as bad that Mark hasn't even seen it yet. You should watch, it's really great. All right, I can't wait.

And they wrote our script and liked it. Oh yeah, who, Netflix did? These Ternan brothers, the guy who wrote this. Oh nice. Yeah. Yeah, alright I'll check it out. Check it out, it's so good. But yeah, there's an Instagram account

called Kids in the 80s, and it's high school kids and they all look like they're 71. It's fucking weird man, I don't get it. It wasn't that long ago, I don't understand what happened. So we're getting better looking, look at JLo. I guess so. Yeah, oh they just got divorced again, huh? Didn't you get divorced and I can't keep up. She's like 54. Yeah. Yeah, is she yeah, but you know what? She's like sucking the souls of people that stays young 100% because she does not look happy ever no

No, I knew that does Affleck Does she laugh? I? Think she could laugh. She's a Affleck. Does she laugh? I think she could laugh. She's a New Yorker. She might laugh, there she is laughing. There you go, Jenny from New York. Yeah, but you know what I mean, don't trust someone who doesn't laugh, that's such a weird thing. But she's laughing to like sucking someone's soul.

Yeah, that's true. That's not a real laugh. Yeah, and no one's allowed to look her in the eye, so maybe that keeps you young. No way. Like a barista with me. Yeah, that's on a writer. Is that a real thing? That's out there. I've heard that, No way. Like a barista with me. Yeah, that's on a writer. Is that a real thing?

That's out there. I've heard that, yeah, yeah. Don't look at me. No, that's a real thing. I've heard certain actors, you can't look at them. I wanna put that on my writer. Fuck it, I like it. Jeez.

Eye contact, too intense. I think that's when you lost, when you're drinking your own cool egg, when you can't have people look at you. Get over yourself. Right, I mean, what the fuck are we talking about? Yeah. I mean. What's are we talking about? Yeah. I mean.

What's that all, what did Bill Burr had a thing where one of his favorite rock stars puts a hood up and that means don't talk to me. And then hey, if the hood's down, I'm willing to socialize. God. What's his take on that? He said it's a good move

because you don't have to look like a dick. You know, if you're like, I can't talk right now, I'm gonna go in my room and lock the door. But if you got the hood up, everybody just goes, ah, he needs a minute, he's an introvert. What if you're in the KKK? Ooh. I was, the hood means.

I was trying to think of a joke there, you got me. Yeah. And another thing, if the TV's in front of me, like this whole show, I'm just looking at the TV. Yeah. I am the only child who grew up with TV as my best friend, I'm just like, ooh, I can't, I got it, you guys are humans, dog, in friend. I'm just like oh, I can't I got it You guys are humans dog in front of me. No, I'm I looking at the fucking TV

Oh, I do that with a bar you ever on a day Impossible to not look at the fuck. It's like here's a pee. Okay, I interrupt Commercials are so loud and they're legally allowed to make the commercial louder So they know if you go to take a piss in the bathroom Whoa, you're gonna hear the commercial. So commercials are like a few octaves louder than the show you're watching. I hate that.

So I remember growing up, my dad would always mute the commercials, so I'd do that as a habit. And I'll notice people do like, what are you muting it for? I'm like, do you need to hear the commercial? Right. Like we don't need to fill our brains with a fucking loud ad.

You're right. It's so annoying. That's a good peeve. Good peeve, yeah they do that. Rec and a peeve, mute it it. And it's a pee. And I used to watch TV to go to bed when I was a kid. Oh my God. Still, I can't. Yeah, it's like the podcast that I need to have something on. What's a good, oh, comfort, go to bed show for you. Oh, um, oh man, that's a good question. Something you don't have to pay attention to. Like my comfort movie, my favorite movie that I just love is Midnight Run.

It's something, that movie's the perfect movie. And it's the only thing it doesn't have is a love story, but there's a seven minute scene in the middle of the movie where he has to go borrow money from his ex-wife and his daughter's there. And it's the most moving scene, heartbreaking. And it's, I think it's De Niro's funniest role. Him and Groden together, it's the perfect movie, man.

I agree. Wow. So good, it's so good. Ro- Joe List used to say that doing the road with me was like Midnight Run. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

We were just fucking beating each other throats. Yeah. But- Great movie. I gotta re-watch it, I haven't seen it in years. It it's Marty Brest it's pretty fantastic it's like a perfect movie and all the cameos are like every character actor in it like fucking Dennis Farina and yeah oh wow and what's his name from the soprano is Joe Pantoliano plays such a good scumbag Joey Pants he's great love Rodin, but was he a comic?

Where did he come from? He wasn't a comic, I think he was like a theater actor. Oh, okay. In that Gene Wilder documentary, there's like a whole thing on him, like he was mean to Gene Wilder, telling him he'd never make it because he had an ugly face and he made him work harder.

Well, you're going into comedy, you could be ugly. Exactly. Come on. Yeah, that's a great movie. That's my comfort background movie that I could could just have on that's a good one Yeah, all right. I got a peeve for you Okay, now I was just in Martha's Vineyard with the lady so it's a lot of lady time how what was it good overall It was great. It was great

We had a great time you can't not have fun there the beach all day drinks at night the food the shrimp the oysters You know it's great. That's perfect perfect. Where do you stay when you're there? We get like a little hotel right on the right on the world of the beach oak bluffs and It's great and her sister's there with their kids So they have a pool so you can pop it on that do a little barbecue jump in the pool Poke the kids and then get get the hell out But this is my wife will do this one. We'll walk by it. We'll be like, hey, we're gonna go get lunch Let's go get lunch and we'll walk by a restaurant. She like, hey, we're gonna go get lunch. Let's go get lunch.

And we'll walk by a restaurant, she'll go, you wanna go here or you wanna go somewhere else? And I'm like, well, I guess we're going here now. Those are the options already. We can go here or we can go anywhere else. But you're pointing to here. So obviously, I'm like, just tell me you wanna go here. You wanna suck my dick or do something else?

Yeah, exactly. She wanna do something else. But yeah, so it drove me crazy. I was like, just say you wanna go here. She's like, I don't care. I'm like, well, you pointed this one out out of all the thousand restaurants, so just say it, just own it.

You know what I love to do when you're debating on what to order with the lady? I was like, give me three types of foods. There's four different types of food. Yeah, so easy. Give me three. And she she can now I'm like alright I'll give you three. What do you mean like Asian like sushi Indian? Sushi pizza fucking Three yeah, and I'm good with it, but you got to give me three. Yeah. Can't give you three?

Sometimes. That's crazy. Usually I have to give the three and then she's like that one. I'm like alright. That's the problem with like the cheesecake Factory it's too many options. Give me eight options. I'll pick something. I'm gonna over one. That's why. Usually I have to give the three and then she's like, that one. I'm like, all right. That's the problem with the Cheesecake Factory. It's too many options. Give me eight options, I'll pick something. I'm gonna over one. That's why they say too, I don't know how to parent. I don't have kids, but they say that you should never ask your kids, where do you wanna eat? It gives them anxiety.

You're supposed to tell them where we're gonna eat here. But if you ask a kid, they just start getting scrambling and then it can see, no, they're doing Coke sucking dick. Yeah. That's how I started. Yep. I'd say Cheesecake Factory, it's like. It's too many options. What are we doing? sucking dick. Yeah. That's how I started. Yep. I'd say cheesecake factory, it's like. It's too many options, what are we doing?

How unhealthy shit is too, you're like, how does an omelet have 3,600 calories? I know, right? It's crazy. Oh, they say the calories on there? I hate that. You have to, but everyone in there is fat as shit, so. Yep.

You're fucked if you're in there. If you're in there, you're getting fat. Why is it called the Cheese, do they have a factory that makes cheesecakes? It's the last factory in America. They're all going away. Let me grab my phone, I got a couple of wrecks and peeps. Oh, you see, he's addicted.

He can't stop. That's why I wrote him down. I'm just kidding. I gotta show you something else. I'll send it to you if you throw it on if you wanna, fuck. All right, I got some wrecks and peeps. You wanna do wrecks or you wanna do something else? Oh yeah, let's do it. See, I already gave like four wrecks today. You guys do some wrecks and peeves. I want to do you want to do rex you want to do oh, yeah That's really I already gave like four rex today. Oh guys you guys do the rex um oh

I don't know why this bothers me you ever accidentally call someone and you're like no Because they see you called and then they call you yes, you pocket dial and it just I'm gonna kill my heart a pocket dial now with the iPhone it happens, but it happens. Yeah, it happened Oh, I wrote this loud commercials in every day taxi or an uber and the guys blaring commercials Oh, what are we doing? You don't hear this? Hey, actually I'm loyal to the taxis here, but there are so many problems in a world with no ratings. It's madness It's mad. They are they've not been called. It's literally like they're like single people. They haven't been called on their shit Yeah, so they're just like I'm gonna behave horribly. Yeah, the uber people they've been raided, but I'm still Lord of the cabs. You love the cabs. You're your I'm a New York guy

They got done dirty. It's fucked up But you go in there and it smells like shit half the time and then I had a ride back from JFK and you're like Oh fuck. It's like 90 minutes, and he's just on the phone like like You don't have to yell it yeah, who's on the phone like, ah, da, bah, da, bah, just like yelling. I'm like, who, you don't have to yell it. Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Who's on the other end? Just some guy like.

No, he's doing the same thing. Yeah, that's true. They're just screaming back and forth. Is it, they're never like, yeah, yeah, I did this. That's true. It's never once. Never that. This one's whispered.

It's always at an 11. Look at the rex. Get a life, hey, nice. You did it though. Get a life. You're one of the few that come prepped, we don't have to even prompt. Yeah, yeah, but along with the butt dial,

you ever done this one? I'm on Instagram and sometimes a little notification will pop down like your mentioned story. So I'm like, hold on. So I'm like, oh, how about that? And you click on it and it's actually, Godfrey's doing a live video right now. And you're like, oh shit,

I don't wanna be in Godfrey's live video. I don't wanna watch Godfrey work out a live video right now and you're like oh shit I don't want to be in Godfrey's live video I don't want to watch Godfrey work out and talk to the camera and so you have to like click out click out but he probably saw you come in. He's like hey Mark! Yeah, you staying right here. Watch me do Cosby motherfucker. And I like Godfrey but I don't want to watch somebody's private video or whatever. He is hilarious. He's a great guest on here too. great guess. He's so fucking fun. He is fun Do people still go live on Instagram? Oh, yeah Like once a year if I'm like, I'm like a special come out. I'm like, hey guys watch my special. Yeah

Oh congrats on the special man fucking came out great. Thanks. Love it You've changed wasn't trying to do that. But I mean it was yeah that was it just looked so good too Man the suit the set. I mean it was sexy tan France. Thank you, buddy He was that suit was his idea was that your boy that directed it No, that's my friend James Webb, but no tan France is from Queer Eye, and he He was like I was like what suit do I wear and he's like oh nice That was smart to get a tailor to fit perfectly. That's smart.

That's like having a card counter in Vegas. You got a gay crashing guy helping you. The gay fashion guy. The guy. You know what, yeah, cause wearing a suit, don't you feel different when you wear a suit? Like I know to walk different, I feel more like, there's like a swagger and a confidence.

You what? I did a gig in Vegas like a few weeks before and I was like, let me throw a suit on so it doesn't feel weird, cause it's you know. I can't keep telling, yeah. All right. I'm not just gonna keep telling the story

when I see what's coming. Couldn't get us out. Had to do the weird not shit. Like the end of New Jack City is like fuck you man. I was doing a lot of dial gauging down there. like don't open it up too much, but keep it closed So it makes always you ever notice how when you're almost home your body knows you can take Oh my god, I was the body knows as the keys open. It's like you have a full 90s comic there you ever notice About to be home. I was on a zoom podcast the other day. I'm doing my friend's Zoom pod

and I felt this shit coming on. Shit, just please wrap it up. It's been over an hour, I think he's gonna wrap it up. And just as we're about to wrap up, he's like, well, if you wanna plug anything, I'm like, oh great, this shit's about to come. I wanna plug my ass. Plug my ass.

But then it just turns into another five minutes, another five minutes, and my body's like, dude. It's like your body's like dude come on yeah Wrap it up Yeah, yeah, but nothing better when your ass hits that scene it just Full fire hose that's one of the that's one of the best feelings and one of the best feelings is when you first get in What tell him whip off those pants? Yes? Yeah, I got a pod going on the sink, and I'm just shitting like a toddler. Yes, yeah I got a pod going on the sink

and I'm just shitting like a toddler. Oh yeah, well they say so I got the, what's it called, the epidemiology, what's it called when they check your butthole? Etymology. Etymology. Oh, it's called the rhododendron when they check your asshole, what's it called? Is that what that's called?

No, there's a word for it when you go to get your colonoscopy. There it is. Damn, that was like, I think I was gonna nail that. Yeah, and you're the youngest. Yeah, there's a rec, go get a colon, or go get your ass checked. How was that? You're supposed to do it at 50, but now they say 45.

You wanna make sure you don't have any problems down there. And... Used to be 40, so it keeps up. Oh, I thought it was 50, and it went down to 45. Oh, I don't know, either way, if you're in your 40s, there's a rec, go check your butthole. There you go. Wait, what was it? There was a point of what I was just getting at the hotel room It feels good to shit check your ass that is a wreck. Heck your ass etymology. Oh, man. There was some colonoscopy

Hey, this beer is pretty good. I haven't had a beer in a while. It's a good beer. Whoever picked these good job Yeah, man. Thank you. There's no no no, I gotta do two shows tonight in Jersey. Oh, where in Jersey? Stress Factory. Stretch Factory? Stress. Oh. I am working out.

I'm trying to get my new shirt on. Wait, oh man, I had a good thing about the butthole. Anyway, I'll think of it when I leave here. Milk and the prostate? Prostate. I learned about that from road trip. So did I I was like a 13 year old kid in the movie theater like a woman's finger has to go up your ass I know and I was like oh good to know

I'll try this tonight I rent a place in LA from my buddy and he has the Japanese toilet seats warm and First your instinct is oh, this is warm. Someone just took a shit here. Oh, no, it's heated and Man, is that a whole nother level of luxury. Oh here was the wreck, I got it, I got it. I had the same feeling at Grand Central, I was like, this is heated. Here's the wreck, here's the wreck.

My doctor told me, don't, I got it back. He said don't bring your phone into the bathroom when you take a shit. Because when you're sitting on the toilet, if you're wasting time on your phone, that's what causes hemorrhoids, is your body sitting there. So don you're wasting time on your phone, that's what causes hemorrhoids is your body sitting there. So don't just sit there on your phone because you'll sit there for eight times longer than you would if you just went in there to drop a deuce

without your phone. So don't bring your phone in the bathroom, you'll get in and out quicker than sitting there doom-spawn. How about a book then? Same shit. I guess. I got a book in there too, I'll mix it up. Yeah, just like limit your time sitting there because your body's pushing.

I do like interview books, like in the bathroom, you just read a passage. Interview books? Yeah, like an interview. I brought in the Cheesecake Factory man. I got six hemorrhoids. Den Brodler, very nice. Yeah.

Well, I remember as a kid I was reading Ajax, I had the, you know, the scrub the scrub shit, Mr. Bubbles. I'm just reading anything because you're so bored shitting. I remember, yeah, I was taking an Uber over here from Brooklyn and I was like on my phone. I'm like, just look out the window and then I'm like, just enjoy the view and I'm like, I look out it's like industrial, there's no view to enjoy. Yeah. But I'm like, you used to just look out the window and like ponder and have a thought and come up with something.

I know just feeding your brain like you will create a thought instead of mindless scroll But then it's the great debate of like did I think of more shit when I was just wandering out the window or do I? Think of more shit because I'm being stabilized by the guy by Fist fights by animal attacks knows? Gaza Strip Club. There you go. Yeah, they were wearing full burkas, it was a bummer. Anything else in the works, like any movies that you're like coming up that you're pumped about?

Let's see. Yeah, that no auditioning. You got the audition tips, by the way? Oh, okay, yeah, here's the, I got a good note that I got from Zoe, okay, I'm here shooting Poker Face, which is a good show, so I'm shooting that. Natasha Lyonne. Yeah, Natasha Lyonne, but Zoe Kravitz gave me a really good note.

I was on set doing our, yeah, man. All right, that was the last one. I need to lean my way with you. I need to lean my way. Sophie's choice there. I hit him last time. So Zoe said to me, I kept wanting to add stuff in the scene.

I'd be like, hey, in this one, can I, you know, what if I did this? I always wanted to make a meal out of it. Just, and she one day, she goes, Simon, you're enough. Ooh. And it was like, oh shit. It was one of those light bulb moments. I don't need to add a fucking like, shtick to every scene.

She's like, you're enough, just do the lot. Mark, did you hear that one? You don't have to fart every two minutes. You're enough, buddy. It's never not funny. But she was right and it was like, oh my God, that's that simple. She's right, what a good note.

And since she told me that, that's kind of been my mantra when I'm shooting something. It's like, you're enough, dude. You don't gotta, especially like, it ain't theater where you got to do some loud big performance for the last, the fucking cameras so tight on your face, you don't got to do a lot and your instinct is to act and perform and it's taken me 25 years of doing this shit to be at a place where I can just relax and not act. It sounds pretent pretentious, but it's true.

My advice is don't act, like just be normal, but that's not easy to do. That takes a lot of time. Just imagine for you guys doing standup, how long it took for you guys to be relaxed and just do the jokes and not be tight. You know what I mean? Like just fucking relax.

Oh sure, sure. Unless it's one of your specials names, don't be yourself. Yeah, exactly. That's just a good motto, you're enough. Exactly, and in anything, and having dinner, like, I don't know, I think I feel the need to entertain and perform and people please, and it's like, dude, just relax.

Yeah. So, that was a good note that she gave me. A very good note. Yeah, thanks, Zoe. Just you're enough, that's heavy. I know, it was like kind of deep, it was like. Because I have the same thing I always think I gotta be on and do this and then you watch some guy

I'm like that guy's never on but he's enough. Yeah, I still like him here. Yeah. Yeah, that's good Good advice like if the joke's good, you don't got to do too much. No, no, is that called act outs? Is that a thing that is that taboo in comedy to do an act out? I think I mean prior to a lot of act out. No, I think if the joke, I mean prior to a lot of act outs, I think if the joke calls for it as well. Yeah, I guess it depends on the comic. Yeah, I think comics, we're snobs, we want a good joke. Like Steven Wright ain't doing an act out.

No, because the jokes are good enough. Yeah, but you know, there's some great act out guys. Oh yeah, oh yeah, you just want the writing to be enough. Right, right. But it's another gear, man. Burr will do act outs. That helicopter story. Yeah, I mean, and we do it sometimes. Yeah, yeah.

This is about as far as I'll go. So I was digging the other day. Ha ha. That's something. That's an act out. I've got some longer stories in my last couple hours. So it's like, I'll do, I'm not like physical, but I'll do like a little act out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. But I saw you do a set at the cellar. I'm not like physical, but I'll do like a little act out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. But I saw you do a set at the cellar, I came to see recently, you literally, I was watching, and you literally leaned against the wall with one foot up, and it looked like you were like in high school just hanging with the boys, and it made the set so interesting,

and you were doing nothing. It was like you being relaxed made it more, I can't explain it, man. It's just like being too wound up is like the enemy of anything, of the energy of it. If you're relaxed, I think the audience will be more relaxed and things will come up and you're not tight, you know? And your body language was so chill,

you were just like, whatever, I could be here, I could not be here, and it was more interesting to watch. Well, it's like, you know, when the crowd's small, it's like you kind of play to that small energy. Yeah. So it's like if it's like 80 people, I kind of play, but if I'm in a bigger venue, I'll kind of up it a little bit. I kind of try to match their energy, but yeah,

like I was doing new shit, a lot of it was nothing, but as long as you leave with a few, you're like, all right, I'm fucking. Same with an orgy. One lady versus 10 people,'re gonna bring a different energy Yeah, yeah, there's like six people that you probably have to be like are you good? No jerk you off for a second. Yeah work the room a little and act out Yeah, to your point you ever seen UFC fighters think the relaxed guy

You know he's just kind of like this and he's he's like looking at the other guys I think the relaxed guy, you know, he's just kinda like this, and he's like looking at the other guys, that guy always loses. The guy who comes out who's relaxed is scarier than the guy who's like, ah! Scarier.

Yeah, that's not natural to who we are at this point. Like, you know, if I were doing that, it would be not me. It would be me putting it on. Right. Like, if I'm me, that's the energy. That's right. And it just feels more honest to them, I think,

and they probably feel more comfortable. They're like, oh, he's not like putting something on right Yeah, you always putting something on but if like if your stick is like Sam Kinnison where you're running around yelling I guess that's different, but that's a different, but I bet you dialed it back in a small venue Probably and that's another thing I relate to you guys because I've heard I think you talk about like if you're performing at the garden Or something that's the dream, But man, when the first row, the person's 30 feet away from you, how not intimate that is, it's a different room.

You would think it's better, but I prefer a little room. When I was doing my music thing for Dirt Nasty, I wanted a little dive bar, and if it was like a big place where the crowd was removed from you, and you can't, it didn't feel as magic. You weren't connected or something. Smaller rooms. But you gotta do the big ones too. was removed from you and you can't it didn't feel as magic you weren't connected or something I know smaller rooms Yes, but you got to do the big ones too. Yeah, you do what you can do everything, but you guys both did the garden

No, I've never done MSD. Did you do the garden? I'm only open for people there, but you did the garden technically did the garden a couple times Yeah, what's the biggest one you've done like a rain. My own or just open? Yeah, anything. Yeah, perform that. You know, we both did a bunch of arenas with Amy back in the day. I did a bunch of Sandler's arena shows. Bert. We did the Grig. Yeah, we've done a lot of big arena shows, but the biggest one on our own, I think probably

somewhat similar. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Like MSG Theater was probably the biggest I've done on my own. You guys listen to that? I'm sorry. No, no, I was gonna say, is it hard? There's that many people, I don't know why

that seems like it'd be harder for comedy for some reason, like too many people. Oh, it's way harder. It's weird. Because the comedy's all about a conversation and connecting and now it's so much easier to lose people. And also your style becomes more of that, I think,

the more you do it. So I think my broadest hour is my first hour, honestly. Mmm, it had to be. Don't you feel that way too about you? Yeah, of course, yeah. I mean, you had to be broad because no one knew who you were, so you had to appeal to everybody.

If you're bombing a corporate, don't you find yourself going back to that place? Yeah, yeah, good point. I do it too. It's the old shit. You're kind of just trying to tread water and you're like, this shit killed in America's Got Talent Right let me fucking bring out this fucking safe one for the corporate one, so I don't totally die. Yeah point

Yeah, it's like I remember going to see the stones And they're like we're gonna do a new song and no one cared they want the old shit give us the old shit Well, it's funny how rock and roll or music is the opposite you know in the beginning They're playing their niche, cool punk songs and everybody goes, they sold out man, they went mainstream. Whereas comics are mainstream in the beginning just to get some traction.

And then you can become you. Yeah, but Billy Joel gets so much love for putting out like one new song in 30 years. Ah, must be nice. And I liked the song, I thought it was good, but it's also like, man, he's also got such a crazy catalog that like, of course just want to hear that stuff Yeah, if you like I want my that's a pricey ticket

You want to hear yeah the hits Vienna and piano man, and you know we didn't start the fire all that stuff Cadillac a cat you ought to know So Vince Vaughn a great you're a good singer Vince Va. Vince Vauhn performs Vienna in the movie we did, Easy's Waltz, he plays a lounge singer and he went and took singing lessons. So he plays like this kind of alcoholic lounge singer and he performed Vienna and he kind of does a lounge version of all these songs.

And I didn't even know that was, whose song was it? Billy Joel? Yeah, so it's really cool when you watch the movie. Vince is performing. Yeah, he's actually singing. And can he sing? Yes, and it's really cool when you watch the movie. Vince is performing. Yeah, he's actually singing. And can he sing? Yes, and it's his voice. It's obviously his voice.

Like he has a cool voice. He's got his like deep Vince Vaughn thing and he's just kind of throwing it away. Like speaking of throwing it away, he's just lounge singing and it's just so cool. How did he train for that? You just hired him? He went to singing lessons.

Can a singing teacher, can they take you from like here to here or can they hear to hear like what do they take? It's a good question. I bet I don't know I mean, I guess I think he went from zero to something cuz he had never sang before but uh, you know Maybe he has a cool voice. Yeah, he has a cool voice and Yeah, I can't imagine him sing. Okay I can't even do Vince Vaughn but but he has such a distinct style of talking. My point is, do you think a singing coach could make it

so Mark and I have a decent singing voice? See, I think Whitney Houston was born with that voice. I think you either got it or you don't, and you can probably get better, but it's got going, I said this before, I don't know if I said it here, but I remember going to a comedy class here in New York, and I was like, none of these people are funny. They're not gonna learn to be funny. That's true

It's in your it's in you you can learn the math of a joke a little bit, but you can't funny is funny It's like a rhythm it is music. Maybe like but like Shatner doesn't have a great voice He just is like that's me right right right Whitney Houston had pipes Put that you bet no drain Whitney Houston had pipes. Just put that together. Too bad no drain. All right, I'll tell you. All right, you're right. He took a bath on that one.

Okay. Did she die in the bath? Yeah. I thought that's what we were doing. What the hell? She died in bed, bath and beyond. It was a horrible tragedy. I've told this story before,

but I remember the night she died, I was playing this club in Knoxville, opening for a guy. Side splitters? Yeah, back in the day. It was the same night Jeremy Lin went for 38 against the Lakers, and every tweet was just Lin Sanity, Lin Sanity, and someone tweeted Whitney Houston died, that's Lin Sane.

Oh man. Yeah, that Lin Sanityane. Oh my God. Yeah, that Linsanity was nuts. He just was like a one month phenomenon. It was unbelievable. It was Asian hype. He was awesome. That was cool. Asian sensation.

Yeah, you guys got a good team now there, Nix. You guys got something to be excited about. My warriors are done, it's time for a new. Yeah, but Stefan the Olympics was fucking. That was crazy, that just added to his legacy. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing.

He's a badass. He's a bad man. What, they were talking shit, so they stepped it up? I missed the beginning. Well, he, I mean, he, I think, you know, against Jokic was Serbia, right? Yeah. Was that the last was that the final last second? I'm at the free throw line talking a lot of shit, and I'll never you never see Steph

But he is so competitive see but he's got that baby face You don't yeah like that the baby face to sassin, but that's right talking all this shit at the free throw line Hit both of them ice the game yeah, then that last game. He just four in a row. They were all in saying all contested shots Yeah, then that last game. He just four in a row. They were all insane all contested shots Unbelievable and it's that crazy shot of LeBron in Durant just open and he's just like fuck it Yeah, rains it like wow yeah I watched a montage and it was put like classic music behind it and they made it in slow motion It was it was beautiful. He's phenomenal. Yeah, he's good for the sport man beautiful eyes mixed

Yeah, his mom is mixed and his dad is black. His skin black guy. Oh, so the mom is already mixed, pre-mixed. Pre-mixed. Got it. So he's like a three quarter mixie. Can we pull up the parents? I wanna do a little eugenics here.

Etymology. Brown noise. Mom is an attractive woman well Mom calm whoa now you guys did was it I remember seeing the draft when you guys didn't pick Steph Curry and all the no No, no, no, no, no, he was he went to pick he went before but there was something happened I saw the fans ripping their jerseys off and stepping on him because they or maybe that was the year Well, you guys passed on someone one year and they were pissed that it wasn't like. That one wasn't our fault.

I mean, the T-Wolves drafted two point guards before him. He went like seventh. Yep. And the Timberlakes took two point guards ahead of him before Steph Curry. Wow. I don't think anybody knew he'd be that, I mean. Yeah.

But he was fucking awesome in college. He was just a tiny, he was a Davidson. Like you don't know. Like a division three. Like Joe Zimmerman knew him in college. Really? Yeah, Joe played golf in college. He was just a tiny, he was a Davidson. Like you don't know. Like Joe Zimmerman knew him in college. Really? Yeah, Joe played golf in college. What?

Yeah. Did you see him hit that hole in one? That was pretty cool. He hit a hole in one on TV and a tournament. Yeah, he's just a freak athlete. He's a freak. He could probably retire basketball and be a pro golfer if he wanted to.

Really? Probably, he's that good at sports. I mean, he's... Man, what is it that basketball people love golf, it seems. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just thinking of Jordan. Putting the ball in the hole, baby. I think they do, man. What is it the basketball people love golf it seems yeah? I don't know. I'm just like a Jordan putting the ball in the hole baby. I think they love golf You ever notice too like all people always want to be something else like I'm sure you guys get a lot of people want to Be comics or a lot of rappers want to be actors or a lot of actors want to be everyone wants to be something else That's true. Not me. I like being a comic and a white male.

No, I'm kidding. Life is good, man. Yeah, I like, people always say, comics want to be rock stars. I'm like, I don't want to be a rock star, some douche with tight leather pants on and long hair. Yeah, I don't want to take myself seriously. Yeah.

Yeah, I like that I have to fall back on. Yeah, what am I, I'm gonna be Steven Tyler out there with No, thank you. Yeah, I like sitting at a bar. Tell us and making fun of fat people. Yeah, that's a superpower is Think not taking yourself too seriously. I heard PTA Paul Thomas Anderson. I sound like a name-dropper, but he said this He's awesome He said I don't take myself seriously, but I take my work very And that's it. That's the formula. There's that famous quote. I think it's Gustav Flaubert said be violent in your work and ordinary in your life Yeah

That's a good one Chris Brown was the opposite Chris Brown was the opposite. Damn, I like that a lot. Yeah, that's good. It would be violent in your work. I just rewatched Magnolia. Fuck, it's good. Yeah, it's good. Oh, it's so good.

He doesn't miss, man. But that whole character thing of Philip Baker Hall, he's like, did you fuck our daughter? And he's like, I don't remember. What is this, a Tim Robinson sketch? I don't know. I don't know if I fucked the kid. What's his name in that? It's so likable. The tall guy, for the comedy guy,

walk home. John C. Reilly. Nazi Reilly? John C. Reilly. Oh, Nazi Reilly. He's awesome in it. Yeah, he's great in it and also. I don't love what they did with the ending, but the movie's incredible like it's yeah And I'm Cruz is on and the energy of the movie is like insane Yeah, yes, so it zooms in the the music and like the cutting the all these is like clearly influenced by like Robert Altman

Yeah, yeah, like bam bam bam. Yeah, yeah happen. Yeah once Boogie nights did that too. He did a lot of this I like that one. Yeah, better. It's his fucking yeah, what's his best movie? What's peter's best movie sure boogie nights for sure Phenomenal yes in first one. That's one of the best movies ever. It's fucking incredible great movie mark Wahlberg's best I I yeah, he just don't I I don't think you can top that yeah I don't think so either, but he's made some other great shit, too Oh, yeah, punch drunk that was good punch drunk was really good will be blood was good Oh, that's there will be blood was really nice Yeah, I just love that movie, but I saw inherent vice on a date and boy was that a shit show like a not a good movie

Yeah, just boring and the date wasn't going great. I made a move You're not rewatching there will be blood like you're we want yeah exactly It's funny you say that cuz I always see it. I'm like I want to watch it, but it's a it's a hard watch I watch brutal, but it's still kind of fun. Yeah, I mean boogie nice not there will be But man what a movie saw that in the theater as well, how about a Tom Cruise and those tidy whitey's looking pretty good, huh? Man, he's doing a movie. I in outer space. Can we look this up? He's doing a movie in outer space, truly in orbit. He's just trying to kill himself.

No, I know. At this point he's just like, how am I gonna kill myself? Well, he jumped off the cliff in that one movie for real, right, in the motorcycle. But I think he's doing a movie in outer space and he had to learn how to load the camera in outer space wait list

because it's just him and the director in orbit shooting a movie and it's just the two of them and I'm like, dude he's the best movie star of all time. If you really go to outer space and do a movie, just you and the director, how do you top that? But just be gay already. That's how it's all over.

You gotta do all this stuff to prove it. Yeah, what are we doing? It's so much easier to suck a cock than to learn this outer space stuff. This is crazy. Well, you'll be in your right. Oh, maybe, is this it? Oh wait, what does he say? Do you think he's definitely gay? It's easier to suck a cock than to learn this outer space stuff. This is crazy. Well, you'll be in your right. Oh, is this it?

Oh wait, what does he say? Do you think he's definitely gay? I think he's got, yeah, I think he's hiding something. I mean, he's a Scientologist for all these years. Something's up. Yeah, something's going on. But look, I'm glad to have him as an actor. He is a great movie star.

Great movie. He's the movie star. Come on, he's the movie star. There's not that many left. Yeah, Top Gun. You know, he wouldn't take his Taiwan patch off off on Top Gun and China's like we're not gonna take the movie if you don't Take that patch off and he goes leave it. So they probably lost out on billions of dollars Wow China But he's Wow. He wanted to keep the patch Wow patch Adams

Adam's. That's so stupid. I love it. Happy back. It's good to be back, man. What are we doing? Outer space. Nicotine patch. By the way, you know, it's one of those things

where you're like, you could just, you know the technology they have in films? You can just shoot this and no one, you could just say you went to outer space and didn't go. Right, I know. Exactly. No one would fucking know. Yeah.

Yeah, Gravity looked great. It's great. It won Oscars. It's great, it won Oscars. It's almost fucked up, you're like costing some people work. Yeah. Oh yeah. You just go into space. There's no crew out there, and there's no location scouting either,

it's just in space, you don't have to pay for the building. Probably cheaper to go to space to shoot movies, to be honest. Now how long till we get the first porno in space? Ooh. That's coming. The cum shot's gonna be off. Just gonna hang up there?

Yeah. How do they go to the bathroom up there? Does it go out into space? I got the title, black holes. Oh baby. A mission to Mars. Wait, a vacuum. Oh it goes into the in the bathroom toilets final peeing and pooping the bathrooms have thresholds To keep them. Oh, wow, you get it sucks them to the toilet so they don't float away. Wow

Oh, so they they they figured this out. Okay Wow, I mean you think these pilot what was that? Boeing those two astronauts are stuck till 2025 you see that Wait, they're stuck in outer space Yeah, oh fuck. What's be eight eight months away six months away? Yeah, but it's supposed to be an eight-day trip. Oh fuck so enough food with the longest delay of all time Stuck in space with just 96 hours of oxygen on our expert. Holy shit are they gonna die? Hope so great dude. I I was on the phone with Delta yesterday just complaining about a flight.

Yeah. And Anthony just sees me on the street because he was picking me up for a road gig. You're sitting on the street, go, well you better fucking figure it out. And I'm just holding Winnie. He was like, he looked like the fucking craziest, angry person just screaming at someone on the phone.

Does she get mad when you're mad? Is she like, she's always mad, look at her. Yeah my I gotta give a shout out to my buddy During the crowd strike you remember that whole thing for a week where they were canceling every flight. Oh system went down He got fucked he had to see was stuck in Iowa for two days because his flights got screwed up So he got a hotel he had to get another flight his flight home was three grand So he's like I'm getting money back from Delta. they're paying for all this, and I'm like, good luck. He's like, watch me.

That was like, three weeks ago, he just got paid. So, well done. Well done, did it take him three weeks of calling every day? Yeah, well you have to do the complaints, it's a whole thing, they don't do, I used to have a joke about this in an old special, they're like, we don't do complaints, it's a real thing, they don't., I used to have a joke about this in an old special, like we don't do complaints. It's a real thing. They don't, they have a complaint division

that you can't call. So you have to, they can email and they just count on you tiring them. Is this all airlines or just Delta? I think it's probably all airlines. Uber too. Cause I'm a Delta guy. I like Delta now.

I do too. And my Delta used to suck and now Delta's the jam. There are people getting raped in Ubers and Ubers, like you can talk to a robot about it. Yeah, right. I thought you were gonna say there's people getting raped in ubers and ubers like you can talk to a robot about yeah I think you say there's people getting raped in Delta flights Now just on the fucking money. Yeah the mileage comfort rape uh I when I came over here actually I took the cab uber from Brooklyn to my boys place

And then I took the train up here Because I'm luckily at a level of fame where I could be on the train. I don't know if I ever want to be like Pete Davidson or Paris Hilton or Charlie Sheen. They can't take the train. I like taking the train. I'm a perfect level.

And I came out of the train on 34th and Broadway and I just had a deja vu 30 years ago in 94 moving to New York on a one-way ticket on Tower Air. Tower Air and the belt buckle, I remember, was a Pan Am buckle and my friend had like a TWA buckle on Tower Air which was like 150 bucks one way. Way better than Twin Tower Air. Yeah, right?

In 94 and I just had a flashback, I go, holy shit, 30 years ago. I have my first time It was a snowstorm and that and I came to New York on a one-way ticket And then I remember going to see like I'd go to the Bill Burr and Chappelle would be doing stand-up at the cellar for like 12 people at 1 in the morning note They were nobodies unreal. It was New York was special back then, man. I got to live here in the 90s. It was like, still felt like the 80s.

It was still like pre-Giuliani, Times Square, Pimson Hookers. Really? Sex booths. Oh man, New York was wild. Whoa. I loved it, yeah, Tower Air. Where are you coming from? San Francisco on a one-way fucking flight.

Baby, were you nervous? I mean, that's a cross-country life change. Yeah, it was exciting. And I just moved. And I went and stayed at a friend of a friend's apartment. And we get there and the friend was like, what, you brought your boys? And we moved to New York.

And we're sleeping on the floor of some dude who didn't want us in his apartment. Classic. This is before internet, cell phone. Then you just had to figure it out. And then this is history. Here we are. Damn! 30 fucking years ago. I remember when I first moved here getting out of the cab the cab was $45 I was staying at my mom's

friends in Brooklyn for the first couple nights because I didn't know anyone or whatever and she hated this too you know you're barging on someone's New York life people in New York are already scraping by and then I'm like hey I'm 22 here to do stand-up comedy, but whatever so all I had was 320s And I remember giving it to the cabbie and I went It's 45. I got 320s. He goes alright. Thank you And I was like huh, and he just took the money and I was that was out of money then that was all I had That was it yeah, cuz I worked $15 tip. I worked at a restaurant. That's a fucking hilarious scene in the movie though.

Yoink. Yoinked me. And he was like, well you got a tip. And I was like, oh I guess you got a tip. He could have given you a 10. It'd be nice. It's a big tip. Give him a $15 tip.

I was a hayseed. I was a rhub. I was a southern. You could tell. Tard, yeah, he could feel it on me. You weren't fucking overalls. Little straw in your mouth. I got the bag with the stick on it, you know?

Did you have an accent back then that you lost? No, I never had one. I grew up in this pretty, in the city, so we didn't really have one. We'd say y'all. Yeah. And we'd say, we'd take our THs and do a D. How's your mom and them?

That's a big New Orleans thing. Yeah, Louisiana, baby. Yeah. It got purchased. That's a big New Orleans thing. Yeah Louisiana baby. Yeah. It got purchased. That's true. But then I moved to Bush, no I moved to Crown Heights, landlord died of AIDS, got mugged immediately and I lived there's a Jewish side, Hasidic Jew and a Caribbean black. One big highway going on the middle I lived on the black side. So all the black guys thought I was Jewish, and they were like, you're on the wrong side, motherfucker,

and I'm like, actually, they don't want me either. Like, okay. No, but you could pass as a Jew. I could pass, but they were like, Orthodox. Yeah. Come to the dark side. They'd pull up in their minivan, and be like, get in, get in,

and I was like, I'm not Jewish, and they'd slide that door closed, and hava negila. I still remember Hannibal Burr said that bit about how he didn't know what the next Jewish people were. So he's like, why don't these Amish guys have blackberries? Yeah. So true, they look Amish, very similar. Yeah.

I did a gig in Lancaster, you ever see the buggies, the horse and buggy out there, the Amish people? We're in Pennsylvania? Yeah. Yeah. It's weird, cause they're at the Wawa. And they had, so that Wawa's like a 7-Eleven. Yeah, it's weird cuz they're at the Wawa and then to them Wawa Wawa is like a 7-eleven. Ah, yeah, but they could pay cash right? They can't can they use card? I don't think so. Yeah, because how would you pay it? But you can see them in there. It's like Disneyland

They're like, oh my god, they got a fucking slushy machine. It's just this red glowing slush Are they allowed to use it the slushy machine? Oh, they were all they were kids So they were they were breaking the rules Or there's like you know Jews on Saturday if they have someone come yeah, and they'll turn on the lights. Yeah Yeah, yeah, what's the holiday call where you? They allow one guy to come into their village and bang all the women rum springer I don't think it's that that's where you that's where you leave Yeah, this is something else where and I like, how do you get that job? Wait, wait.

I'll go to an Amish town and fuck everybody. Can you bang the women? Yeah, because they're all in for you. Have you seen the women, dude? I don't know, dude. It's definitely full of bush. Oh, yeah. It's gotta be a hot one.

It's gotta be one. They don't have a Noroco down there. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking bush. I've seen Witness. Oh, that was a good one. Is that a good one?

Oh, it's a great movie. Great movie. Great movie. I should check that one out. That's a great movie. Old school, no, I read a good one. Oh, it's great. Great movie. Great movie. Check that one out That's a great movie old school. No, I read about that one. I heard it's good There's a day where you go in they let like random dudes go in and plow all the the butter churn and whores Sounds good. Oh, yeah, that beep. I was here on the pot. That's usually when it goes to a commercial That sounds like you're in a cave That was once because we weren't here.

I do it on my phone. Everybody's like, that's fine. And then I get a million comments. What do you have? Recording that on a potato, tin can. Yeah, what else? Anything else to plug, Simon? Geez, not really, man.

Just Blink Twice is out now. Go check it out. Greedy People's out now. Movies are back, baby. Movies are back, baby. Movies are back, man. Go see a movie in the theater. It's such a fun thing to have a collective experience where you can't pause it and you can't, you know,

you gotta watch the whole fucking movie, man. Because I know if I'm at home with the remote and my phone, oh, this is interesting, real quick. So I just learned this term, secondary screens. Have you heard this? So they're making content on streamers called secondary screens, meaning they know they can't compete with you on your phone at home,

so they're making it dumbed down so you don't have to pay attention to the whole storyline. Therefore the end of the art of making, because they know you're on your phone, so they just make it dumb so you don't have to pay attention every day. Just a guy yelling, oh, I'm getting shot right now. Oh, fuck.

Right. Secondary screens, man. So yeah, put your phone away, go to a movie, and enjoy it and have a collective experience. I got to go see the premiere of Blink Twice, and people are yelling and cheering, and it, man, it was great. I'm pumped, I can't wait to see it, man.

Yeah, man, it came out great. It got certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, let's see, what are we looking at? Oh, 75. Oh, it went down to 78, it was great. I'm pumped. I'm looking away to see him. Yeah, man. It came out great It got a certified fresh on rotten tomatoes 70 went down to 78 it was yesterday was a I think 80 is certified fresh and I think you dropped the peg We dropped a couple so everyone out there go vote it up. Even if you haven't seen let's get fresh, baby How about that Tatum? He's a hunk. He's a hunk man. It was really sweet guy, too He had his ice bath delivered down to Mexico. So I go to his room and ice bath like Rogan style and he had it down in the jungle.

I'd be like, hey man, can I use your ice bath? And we'd do rounds. Cause he's on that, he can't take the subway but he could have an ice bath delivered to Mexico. How long you go in the ice bath? Well, I don't know if this is true but I hear that anything over three minutes doesn't matter. So you don't need to go for anything longer than three,

so we would do three three-minute rounds. I got an adapter for my tub at home. So it's like, it's not expensive. It makes it an ice bath? Yeah, it freezes the water. Wow! That's a wreck. And it's clunky as fuck.

Oh wow. I'll tell you what's a wreck, I had to use it a couple of times. Oh, you haven't used it yet? No, I used it twice. And look, it woke me the hell up. First thing in the morning you gotta like set up the night before you just hop in there

you're like alright this sucks but it's also awesome. Yeah. My boy Jack, oh sorry go ahead. Well I try to do the ice cold shower but it's too easy to get in and out. You need the bath. You need the full immersion. Yeah if you're just cause part of your body

isn't getting in it's worse than getting all the way in. My buddy Jack owns the Russian bath house in the east village. I love that spot It's the fucking best plug. That's a good plug go to if you're in new york go to the big and he's got the ice Water now, yeah, so you they just renovated it recently So it's all nice and new because it was kind of funky for a while Yeah, and now it's all renovated and they got a good ice bath and they got the three different hot rooms I mean, I I love the schvitz man. It's great. I'm gonna go tomorrow. I went there with Tim Dillon once, talked about a site,

just this fat gay guy, holding court, and he's snapping a twink with a towel. Yeah. Quite an image, seeing him in a nightclub. Or a Turkish bath. I love the Schvitz, man. Love it. Gotta sweat it out.

Mark Schvitz. Yeah. Well. All right, well. Is that it? Do we end on Schvitz? Should we end on Schvitz or should we end on something else? What? Hold my word.

See how dumb that is? Oh. We got Bodega Cat whiskey. Yeah. It's all over New York right now. Strip House is gonna carry it. Ooh. We got a new bottle will debut very soon. Is this the new bottle?

No, no, no. It's the old bottle. The new one's sexier. The new one's sexy, it looks cool. Can we, do we have a picture? Vic with two C's. Yeah, I will be in London September 18th. Whoa! Belfast September 22nd, the 24th in Dublin,

the 25th in Paris, then I will be in Amsterdam. We had a show in Amsterdam and Paris, so please fill those up. Copenhagen, Oslo, Stockholm, and then yeah, Cleveland is the next spot. Not till November. So I'm gonna add something in October, then big tour in January, so keep your eyes open.

Samorail.com or just go to punchup.live slash Samorail, punchup.live slash Mark Norman, and you can see all our stuff there. Mark, where you gonna be, man? Hey, hey, Orlando, Florida. Bring the kids. Worst flight in the biz. Easily the worst flight.

And I'm doing the hard rock, which I've heard are tough for comedy. Fort Lauderdale, Portland, Oregon, London, Ontario, Toronto. We had the show, Newport, Rhode Island, Monterey, California, Oakland, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Cleveland, come on out, Fayetteville, Wichita, Kalamazoo, Chicago, theater. I told you Larry David story? No.

I'll be quick. So I'm doing the Chicago theater at 7pm. I get a call from my agent. Weird request. Larry David wants to do the Chicago theater same day, he wants 7 p.m. So can you move to nine? And I said, I'll move to nine but I get to meet him. Really?

And they said, we can do that. Oh, awesome. He's gonna hate every minute of it, but I'll get the photo. That's awesome. Yeah, that's when you get the photo, you get the photo. So, pretty wild. Damn, nice hardball.

Yeah, yeah. What day of the week is it? It's. Yeah. So, pretty wild. Damn, nice hardball. Yeah, yeah. What day of the week is it? It's a Friday. All right, nine's a harder spot. I agree. I might have to come to that Oakland show. You're crap is young.

I might have to come to the Oakland one. When's the Oakland one? Scroll up there, if it's not a Gueloppi. Yeah, I grew up there. I want to go bring my boys. They all love you. We should come to the Oakland one. It's not selling well.

I think people there are having trouble with money, but we'll see what happens Yeah, it's a rough rough town, but I hear it's a legendary October 12. It's beautiful theater All right. Well. Yeah, check it out folks that watch everyone in Oakland go see him. Yeah, that's right Yeah, Mark's boys Bob punch up follows both on punch up dot live Norman punch about live slash Sam or I'll go see Simon's all his movies blink twice The new ones coming out, it's awesome, Crush, and it's such a good guest on the podcast.

Thanks, always a pleasure. Thanks, guys. Vince Fong, get your fat ass on here, you poor headed freak. Love Bad Monkey, dude, it's been great so far. And get some Bodega Cat Whiskey, bodegawiskey.com, we got a new fucking batch, we're making moves with this, so if you want a piece of this shit, DM BodegaKid on IG,

I don't know what to do. That's a pet peeve. Oh, look at that. Look at that, it's a real thing. Look at that bottle, it's strong and sturdy, but really hit a person. Sexy. It's a sexy bottle. Sexy bottle.

That's a pet peeve about Martha's Vineyard. Oh, you got a whiskey. You guys should do some ready to drinks. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna do it. All this shit takes time, slow down. They got the right idea though, we're gonna do it. I just smell your fart now. I just let a little.

The silent one, dude. And on that note, it's been a great episode. We love you guys. Thank you. Thank you guys. Sunday's the day for my next offender. I've made a Piva Rec Rec you know the future's close I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope

And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feelin' dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true