We Might Be Drunk - Ep 207: Colin Quinn - Tom Papa - Liz Furiati

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

The world was an different place just a few short weeks ago when this episode was recorded. The Yankees hadn't lost the world series yet, how quickly time moves forward.  However, we are very happy to have Colin Quinn, Tom Papa and Liz Furiati join us for this weeks episode.  Support the show and get a one-dollar-per-month trial period of Shopify at https://www.shopify.com/drunk Support the show and check out MyBookie. Use code DRUNK to get a 100% deposit bonus at https://bit.ly/betwithDRUNK Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Colin Quinn: https://colinquinn.com/ Tom Papa: https://tompapa.com/ Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters/?hl=en   #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast

Cheers. Hey, Mazel. Comedy. Thank you. Cheers, Colin. I know your special is out too. Turn off my thing. Geez. Are we rolling? Oh yeah, we're on. We might be drunk. Hey. Your special is out. Oh yeah, Tom, you got one? I have a special out too. Whoa! You do, Tom, that's great, yeah. Let me guess, they're both Netflix? They're both Netflix. Mine are YouTube.

Oh, I thought they were both Netflix. No, that was a zing. YouTube is good too. And we have a Winnie replacement this week, Gizmo. She got Aunt Vivd, which is upsetting, but you know. She'll be back, Winnie will be back. This is a far superior. So adorable. Oh.

Don't, that's not fucking cool. That's a girthy beast. Winnie rules. Winnie's, I love Winnie. I spend a whole day with Winnie. You have a problem with Gizmo, Tom? No, Gizmo's cool because he stands. Yeah.

Winnie. Winnie's an old bird, dude. Winnie. Gizmo is not young. Sit down. Winnie just kinda hangs like an Afghan. Just, just, like a throw blanket. Martini okay?

You mean Afghani? Delicious. Thank you. They were criticizing the. This is a great martini, good job. I'm so happy I'm having this. Solid. The first time I was here was a train wreck.

That was a bad martini. That was the worst martini I've had in my life. It was an oily, he made it, it was beerju. He made an oily. Oh yeah. He was bad Brian or something. Lizzy poured all of the oily juice from the luchiv, stuffed olive container.

It was a pea ditty. That's why I brought the filthy Brian as well because it's very nice and clean. And again, I know how diva you are. That is a real grown-up, elegant martini. Very nice, smooth. Nice job. Look at that weirdo on the left.

Yeah, look at that chubby guy over there. Could've buttoned up down low. Well, he's been fired since then. Yeah. You got the real tall guy? Yeah, beard you. That was like six, seven. Yeah.

He was really off his game, I don't know. He was a good bartender. He's been fired, don't rub it in. Yeah, what happened? Where are your bartenders? All right, we just- Budget cuts? They fired him.

Yeah, yeah. It was Tom's fault, Tom does that. I do get people fired. He's done that at the olive tree too. Who'd you get fired at the olive tree? Yeah, Tom. What? Just people who don't do their jobs.

Oh, wow. Wow. Let's see the dark side. Moe-dee? No. What just people don't do their jobs I'll just point out like there's anyone working this table Can only dream And then you don't see them again. It's not like I'm asking for them to be fired. That's really up to the management.

Sure. Like an efficiency expert from the early 60s. Yeah, you're not full Karen. You'll just dance around Karen-ing. Damn, we lost. See, Winnie does stay put. I'll give her that. He's too big to lay on the couch. And he smells all food.

He just wants food But if $50 you can't name who Mark Norman staring at in that picture. Oh One of five names you have five choices. You think you know Do I think I know of course I do I know you know that wall too well I know that wall too well Really I'm thinking Aries Spears The headshot? Oh, really? I'm thinking Aries Spears.

Yeah! I think he's on there, by the way. No, he's not. I believe he is. He might have one of the old. Is that Wanda Spite? No, no, she's over by the door. Is it Artie?

No. Where's my fifth? Artie? Is it Artie Fuqua? Ah, Artie. It says yes. Oh, there you go. I'll say it was Artie surrounded by Brian Regan.

Wow. No? I know it's the big Artie. Kyle done again. The lineup Artie because it's the big Artie. Yes. It's like the old Artie. The young Artie.

Like that's the, like yeah, like the. Pre-crash. Right. Freeing Walmart. Like it's cocaine dealer Artie. Right. Yes. Before the cash.

Yeah. I remember one time a famous night of the seller Artie comes in, he's all banged up and he goes, I just got to fight with seven drag queens at McDonald's. And those days are over, now you bought the McDonald's. Yeah, no more McGee-Dees. Wow, what a shame. Yeah, what a loss we won't have drag queens to throw down with.

That was the wildest McDonald's in America. That was the world star McDonald's. That's right. Yeah. No more, absorbed into the comedy seller universe. Throw down with that was the wildest McDonald's in America. That was the world star McDonald's. That's right. Yeah No more absorbed into the Comedy Cellar Universe Came out today, so I saw the first 20 minutes and I walk over here hilarious as always the election special Colin Quinn. Yeah. Five ones from his last special. Unreal. Bring it up, bring it up. Hopefully he's a record. You had a line I love where you talk about how,

you talk about these people, everyone has their opinion, they're like, well, who are you? You're up here giving your own opinion? You're a hypocrite. You're like, eh, you never met a hypocrite? I just love that line. That's a great line. Hey, look at this.

Yeah, homeless doing a little magic there. Throwback. We're a little homeless. Oh yeah. Homeless pimp. Yeah, homeless pimp. That's not him, that's a Donald Trump. Look at this. Yeah, Homeless doing a little magic there. Throwback. A little Homeless. Oh yeah. Homeless pimp. Yeah, Homeless pimp. That's not him, that's Donald Trump. Look at that.

Another guy worked at McDonald's. Oh, he's running for president? Oh. That's Eric Rivera. Hell no. Whoa. Look at RFK in the grip. This is so recent.

Did you get footage at the MSG? Homeless did this. Oh, this is great. Were you at the garden the other night? No. He wrote for Tony. I wrote Tony's jokes. Stamps and tees. Oh that's so good. Wait is that the lounge? That's the lounge. Wow. Who shot it? Homeless Pimp, pay attention Tom. Homeless Pimp, I'm sorry Liz. Jesus. Get with it Tom. A much needed voice, Colin. You're behind the... Always.

Tom, you're behind the curve. You're out there in LA. You don't know what's on the wall. Yep. That's true. Tom Papa, LA Comic. Boo. Yeah, when he comes to the cellar, he takes out the whole front section.

And gets people fired. Mm-hmm. Well, he got people fired. That was years ago. All right. I don't think Tom has done that lately. Boy, they made the lounge look good. I mean... Yeah, they were mean, it's not you.

You're careful to shit on both sides, which is good, because that is the- Well, let's not say I'm careful to, that's how I feel. I'm saying I don't want people to think I'm out there trying to straddle the fence. Oh, the outside colors. You know what I mean? Like, there's a lot of political comment to this.

Because that's how I feel. I know. I hate when people say both sides are, it's like, yeah, cause I don't, you want to be with machetes in the street, you motherfuckers? That's what a non-both sides are is. Good point. Thank you.

Wait, what is this? We literally took the audience outside and took them on a tour of the village with CQ. Wow, I'll be fast forwarding that. Tour. No, it's good. All right. Say I'm new ahead of time when we were talking about it.

This looks like a COVID special. So you could shoot another special in five months if you do a lot of stuff like that. Tom is getting lambs. Really, Tom? Really? That's funny, that's my old apartment. Oh, the train. I actually lived there for a couple of years.

Oh yeah? Yeah. What's his name? What's the Jewish baseball player? Sandy Copeland. He lived there. He did? Yeah. What's his name, what's the Jewish baseball player? Sandy Copeland. He lived there. He did? Yeah. How about Ron?

How sad is that by the way, you said who's the Jewish baseball player and I got it that quickly. You got the one. A race isn't exactly killing it. Oh yeah, you know Ron Boomer Bloomberg. He was a Yankee star in the 70s. Oh.

Sean Greene, Hammer and Hank Greenberg. Hank Greenberg. There you go. That's back when, that's back, that's pre-black. What about Harmon Killiboo? What did you talk about on the internet? The Mormon. What did I talk about on the internet?

No, we walked around and we just talked about, I talked about the world star, Hip Hop McDonald's. We did. Oh, okay. And a bunch of stories. It was kind of unrelated to the special anyways. It was, but it was, you know, it was like the CQ man on the street, like block by block combined with election special.

I like those Instagram videos you do when you have those old guys from the neighborhood. That's homeless. Wow, also Tom, it's not Instagram videos, it's a series on YouTube. Would you pay attention please? Yeah, Tom, Tom. I didn't realize Liz was in management.

Oh my God. Liz is calling Quinn. And you haven't been around in a long time. Liz as always is kind of mad. Management oh my god Liz as always is kind of man. I think Tom There goes that that's the shrink you guys go to him. Yeah, yeah big L Allen Lefkowitz the comedian psychiatrist. I've seen him. I saw him for years. I was so I was so good Yeah, but I just say I couldn't do it. He wouldn't give any advice, but I was so tempted to know everything. Did you go to him? No.

What? What made you want to talk to him? Homeless Pimp goes, we should interview that guy. I go, that's a great idea. Geez, he loved Homeless. Yeah, he's great. Come on, we love Homeless. No, I didn't go to him, but I wanted to interview him.

I used to have a joke about going to him, how it sucked that so many comedians would be seeing him. So I'd be in the waiting room and I'd hear a laugh and I'd be like, fuck, I gotta bring it again this week. Yeah. Yeah. But it was literally every comic would just come out of the door and be like, oh, you. Every one.

You pour your heart out about getting molested and you're like, oh, hey, Becky Owen. Oh, yeah. That was gonna laugh. And he goes over the same story. Yeah, yeah. It is amazing that it was a convenience. I think his first was Richard Lewis.

That's right. That's what he said, yeah. There was an article about him in Esquire. About Alan, yeah. Whoa, so he's chasing the fame now. Yeah, it's unbelievable. It was a while ago. Oh my God.

Hey, look at that. How about Tom Popo in Cop Show? Oh yeah. Oh what year was that? That was an episode to really sink your teeth into. I think I really exposed Tom as the bossy pants that he is. Well you were out of the curve with the cop parody because Brooklyn Nine-Nine kind of ripped that from you. Yeah don't bring it up. But that Brooklyn Nine-Nine isn of ripped that from you. Yeah, don't bring it up. Oh! On the nine-a. But that Brooklyn Nine-Nine's not really a cop parody. There were versions they tried and failed, but Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of like a, I don't know what you would call it.

It's like a sitcom, but in a cop station. It was more like a workplace comedy. Right. It was a cop parody. Yeah, it was a cop parody. Wow. It was a cop parody. Pre-stroke Keith. Oh, pre-stroke Keith. Yeah, look at a cop hair. It was a cop hair. Pre-stroke Keith. Oh, pre-stroke Keith.

Yeah, look at that. Wow. Non-handicapped Keith. Keith, man, just, Tom just cock-blocked him in that scene. It was pretty funny. That was so great. Great show, a lot of views. Great show.

Makes me furious. So Tom, is it special? Did it come out yet? It came out today. Whoa, what time? Midnight. Oh, so it's out. We can watch it. When does this come out though? Late November.

Happy Thanksgiving. It's been around for a while. Check it out. It's been around for a while. Check it out. It's been around for a month. Oh, sorry. Where'd you shoot, in Jersey? I shot it in Washington, D.C. Oh.

At the Warner Theater. Great theater. That's a good room. It's a classic room. Yeah, it looks nice. Anytime something wasn't funny, I just shot the ceiling. It's pretty, right? Yeah.

And you're pretty clean, right? Yeah, I'm pretty clean. No curses. That was my last one. He does, he does. He has like, his? Yeah, I'm pretty clean. No curse. No, he does he has like that was what a nice Okay Yeah, I don't curse all that often I guess All right, but that's a conscious choice. So right I don't really talk like that in my real life so like to do it in my acts is kind of like phony like when I started the cellar and like

the beginning and all these guys Are so cool, and I would go up there and like try and be a little dirty and stuff and the audience is like What are you doing? fucking sponges What are you doing this isn't this isn't really you but I think you're going out with the the gaffigan Seinfeld arena tour I am gonna go do some dates with them in Canada. What? I never heard about this. We didn't. Colin.

Woo. I don't know. This is big. Fill us in, Tom. Yeah. Are they stadiums? They're stadium shows. Whoa.

What? Mama. What kind of stadiums? Like 15,000. Oh! Whoa! Those guys can pack some meat. Yeah. Yeah. Like 15,000 Meat yeah

20 they're gonna tell you 50 Just go they want me to get off. That's my favorite line. They want me to get off. Yeah, they want me to go. They want me to get off. I'm sorry. And then another 10 minutes of Tom Pabla. What?

That's weird. I hate that. Did I get that? What? And then the crowd goes, no. And they go, I know, they're making me do it. These fucking assholes. Yeah.

Enjoy gym, I guess. I hate when they do that. My only dream like even this gig what you're making my only dream is how much everybody in comedy makes literally every penny and how much every commercial makes. That's what Maria Bamford does. She she's a big advocate for us all sharing the financial information of what we do. What do you mean? So you don't get screwed. She's always, Marie- So you don't get screwed? Yeah, well her thing is more equitable.

Her thing is so we don't get screwed. Wait, screwed how? Oh, she can compare. Because she believes everyone is on the same plane of- No, but if you were worried the same, and someone says I went to ACME. Is everyone the same? I went to ACME. Is everyone the same? I went to ACME and I made this for that.

You can compare. Yeah. She's the only one that does it, Liz. Nobody else is. No, I wanna know. There's someone else. Yeah. Like I see these commercials,

like Will Ferrell in that commercial, I'm like, how much does he get paid for that? Yeah. Yeah, it's intense. I'm saying is it five million or is it 10 million? It's gotta be that, right? It's gotta be 10. Yeah.

10? They don't get out of bed for five. Man. When's the last time you saw Will Ferrell? Man. Like eight years ago. Was he mad when you did that thing on Twitter where you pretended he was a drug addict?

Well, when I saw him eight years ago, he goes, I really, I go, ah, like I thought he was joking about it. But he goes, yeah, I thought you were like pissed at me for some reason. I was like, why does everybody say, I didn't say he was a drug addict, I said he's a heroin dealer.

Nobody got it. I said he's dealing heroin at SNL and people are writing you snitch. That's great. You think he's really dealing heroin at SNL? You might have been the first person I followed who was a troll. Yes. But you weren't trolling people, you were just trolling everybody. All his fans.

When Colin started Twitter, it just like overrated bands the Rolling Stones the Beatles the doors Yeah, you're just pissing people off. Yeah Yeah, but you don't really get it so I stopped at the time people would just be threatening me all the time I'm gonna kill you if I ever see He said Star Wars is overrated. Let's get him. It was unbelievable. I don't know about this.

He thought I was mad. Was he mad about it or no? No, he thought I was the nicest guy in the world. He was just like, yeah, I thought you were mad at me for something you didn't like. That's a real comedian though. Because he thought you were mad at him. I feel like that's what comedians do. Like, oh, I must have fucked this up somehow. Even though he's trashing me.

How brutal. I think we all felt like saying, he's not a comedian, Mark. Of all people, Mark. Well, he's not a stand-up comedian. He's a comedian. You have all people to say. I'm not saying he's a stand-up. I think he shocked the whole room.

He's a comedian, a different kind of comedian. He's hilarious. He's not a comedian. He's a comic comedian. He's a comedian. He's a stand up. I think he shocked the whole room. He's a comedian, a different kind of comedian. He's hilarious. He's not a comedian. He's a comic actor.

Okay. Right. He's not a comedian, he's a stand up comedian. Don't you think comedian means stand up comedian? I do. I think so too. But I know what you mean. Comic. It definitely means comedian. So does comedian. Both means comedian.. It definitely means comedian. Comic. So does it comedian? Both

means comedian. I'm sure comedian. Oh for Christ's sake, Comedian. Why are you muttering the waters? It's true. Don't you whenever you get interviewed and somebody goes so do you like other comedians and you name somebody who's not a stand-up? Don't you go like well he's not really a stand-up. You get a little attitude. I do. I do that too. It's harder But you just stand up. I guess you're right What's that old story Greg Kinnear tried stand-up mm-hmm failed became an actor won an Oscar Michael Keaton Michael Keaton stand-up Michael Keaton no, but Michael Keaton was the same he was on the letterman Yeah, yeah, but it was funny, but he still quit. He went a bit, it was funny. But he still quit.

He had a bazooka joke. He quit because he was playing Batman. Yeah, he got to go do cooler stuff. He gave up. He gave up. He's acting next to Jack Nicholson. But he used to do a bit of that. He wanted to do a 10-15 at the Comedy Store.

You're supposed to need comedy. That's the whole thing. You need to do it. Like Letterman. Where's Letterman's act? Yeah. You're fake. Letterman. That's the whole thing. You need to do it. Like Letterman. Where's Letterman's act? Yeah. You fake? Letterman was the original crowd-warped.

Colin, you're one of the only people that's gotten the distance. Yes, we're all begging you to quit. Here it is, the bazooka bit. Bazooka bit. Look at the hair. Wow. Was he a good stand-up, Colin?

I think I remember being funny. We're about to find out. People said he was. That is funny. He said he can't throw it over that wing. I think this is very funny. He says, Bazooka Joe has a clock in his hand, you know? And somebody says, what are you doing Bazooka Joe? And he says, I'm throwing a clock out the window. And he says, why?

And Bazooka Joe says, I wanted to see time fly. Alright, now wait. Somebody says to him, time, Bazooka Joe? That's rather a ethereal subject, isn't it? Ha ha ha. He's breaking it down. says to him, time, Bazooka Joe? It's rather a ethereal subject, isn't it? Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's breaking it down.

And Bazooka Joe says, well, it depends on how one views time. Ha. I mean, you see time traveling in a horizontal line to infinity. Well, then, yes, I guess it is. But I won't say that, because we'll see it broken up in segments.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. And then Tubby comes back with, I think, some pretty clever. Tubby comes back and says, yes, but wasn't it Eugene O'Neill who said, I'm very amiable at tumult, sick of the madding crowd, longing for far sea places where the soul may think aloud. And then the new joke works out and goes, hey, sorry, I f----- my ass, OK?

OK. That's good. That sounds like a norm, man. Yes. Yeah. Very norm. Yeah, very norm. Yeah, but you say these guys quit, Woody Allen quit. I mean, some guys just, they don't want to do it.

That's true. They move on to other stuff. Is that because the respect and the adulation and the money is all far greater? Probably. That and writing jokes is hard. You got a bomb. You got to go up and work it out.

But Monday nights, why didn't Woody Allen put down his clarinet and go, I'm going to do a quick 15, guys? Ah-ha. He did the clarinet. Yeah, the crowd gonna do a quick 15, guys. Ah-ha, he did the clarinet. Yeah, the crowd every damn, yeah. That's a good point. Steve Martin started weaving jokes into his banjo stuff. Hey, good to have you back after 40 years,

you white-haired weirdo. It's so much easier to get a laugh in between songs, because they're just glad he's now playing the fucking banjo. That's true, that's true. He's talking. By the way, you know that thank God. That's true. That's true. He's talking. By the way, you know that's a piece? Steve Martin?

Really? That's the genius of his hair piece. What about him? The piece is thinning. Oh my God. So you never question it. That's good. Like Tom's.

We've never questioned that, yeah. Wow. The piece is thinning. Wow. What the hell? That's brilliant. Brilliant. See, he's still brilliant after all these years.

Did Steve Martin come through SNL when you were there, Colin? Yeah, once or twice. He was a very nice guy. He was nice to everybody. He was like one of those guys who just, you know, like, was it? Was he as wild and crazy as they say? Oh. No, he was friends with Lawrence.

He hung out there. But he was really, you know, he was very, what do you say, generous. Look how badass he looked in that picture. I know. What's that movie with Michael Cany did? Dirty Runs. Oh, I love that.

So fucking fun. So good. The fork with the cork on it so he couldn't stab himself. So if you had the opportunity, Sammy, to go do a movie and ditch stand-up for a year. I couldn't ditch stand-up. Yeah, I don't think you could. It's the only thing I'm fucking good at. I like, you know, and some people would argue that as well. I do. But you know, but Mark and I, we wrote a movie. We want to make a movie. We want to do other stuff. But you know, Stavros really has us all thinking we can do it now. Hahaha, that's true.

Yeah, I mean. Guy just shows up and goes make some movie. Like, what are we, what? Who's seen it? No one. It's only in theaters. I know, I've only met one person that's seen it. I just wanna know. If I wasn't out of town for the premiere, I would've gone. I mean, I know it's just premiered.

I would like to watch the spot. I wanna see it, yeah. I wanna see it, I love Stav-y. It's the best. And I'd like to say, Stavros, you didn't invite me to the premiere, but you invited Robert Kelly and his wife. Oh, he's in the movie. What? I don't premiere. Whoa, stop it. But you invited Robert Kelly and his wife. He's in the movie. What?

I don't care. Ouch, ouch. I just want to say something. I think I'm in the movie. Mark and I wrote something that we're like, you know, we're trying to make, but it's like standup is the only thing, like especially, it's so long to take a fucking,

to make a show or a movie. It takes four years to just to go through the filter of just like, oh, we're not gonna make it. So why would we not just do stand up? We have some- Exactly. He is the weird thing, ready? I'm glad you said it because two things.

What the hell are we looking at, Tom? The cast of Stav's movie. Oh, Nathan Minns in that? I know he has an open mic with me. I'm gonna forget what I was gonna say. Uh oh. Wait. We were talking about how long it takes to make.

So here's what it is. Ready? Why does it take a year or two years for the movie to come out? You do an hour TV show, it comes out that week. They're not that much better. An episode of Sopranos is not that much different than a movie. And why is it that Netflix, Tom, I don't mean to you to buy the whole of the feature. They're like, we're going to release the special October 11th. And it's like, what do you have, a strategy? Yes. You know what I mean?

Well, and they don't promote either. Netflix doesn't, so they can't use that excuse. Hey, we want to promote. Oh, I like this even better. You know, they have... Good point. Well, they have a... We'll trade Netflix with Tom between the two of us.

Yeah. They can't what? They don't promote. They're not gonna sit there and go, we gotta put $20 million into Tom's special and really billboard the shit out of it. You all forget, Tom is- You gotta billboard, you did get the billboard. Tom is the face of Netflix.

He has a show on Netflix radio. He has numerous specials on Netflix. Okay, you're different. Netflix is a joke. He like pretty much hosted the whole damn festival. Whoa! All right. Like Tom is the Netflix, you know, poster boy. Chill.

Yeah, I believe it's the word. Yeah, Netflix is my film career. Okay. But I see your point, Collin. It shouldn't take this fucking long, but I'll tell you why it takes this long, because these people take three weeks to get back, we got a set of meetings.

Yes, the meeting. Just the lawyers, just for the contract before to get back like we got a set of meeting yeah it's just the lawyers just for the contract it's a lie this whole time we'd be living a lie with these movie things well they want to have a job these people but how can a tv show they have a job it's an hour and it takes a week i agree but they have a building in west hollywood with the white yeah uh netflix on it. They got to avoid these people. And they always have to say, we don't know if this joke's gonna fly. Cool, I tried it in every state of the country and it worked everywhere. I think it's gonna work. They've talked about your material? No, I'm talking about like scripts.

We're talking in general. Oh, scripts. Not just Netflix. Right, right, right. We're done crashing Netflix. No, no. I'm doing the whole gamut. Hulu, NetNBC, you name it. Well, this is a great opportunity though, right? For independent filmmakers.

Like now that the whole film industry has collapsed, that's true. You can just go make it yourself. The game is changed. Leave that positivity somewhere else, Tom. Once you landed at JFK, we don't wanna hear that. Yeah, but you're right. Once you land in a JFK, we don't want to hear that. Ha ha ha you do it? You get a producer who's good at, who knows people. Yeah, it's a lot of shoes.

I'll tell you the problem, they call people who have made films before. Or who have money on your friends and yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you the biggest problem, is when you sit down with these business Wall Street types, you have to watch out Sam, cause his contempt will be written all over his face for them. You're gonna have to do most of the talking.

Okay, I can do that. That's true. He gets an attitude. Yeah, he gets an attitude. He gets an attitude. He gets an attitude. He's a bitch. Sam's a straight fucking bitch. Sam gets a god damn attitude.

You're more combative. You can be combative. I don't know what else to say. Oh, yes he can. He has a good news. He's like, so it's a story about two guys. He'll be like, what did you just say? What did you like?

Who the hell is this guy? Oh yeah. The good news is we found a Saudi prince. The bad news is all the jokes are out. We're making the show. You'll be like, what did you just say? What did you like? Who the hell is this guy? Oh yeah. It's a joke. The good news is we found a Saudi prince. The bad news is all the jokes are out. We're making the show.

Yeah. I'd kill for a Saudi prince to back this thing. That would be great. What else you need? We have five million. We can knock it all out. Five million. I need to see five.

Yeah, that's the thing. All this money, somebody's got it. Somebody else had to get it. Oh yeah, I'm calling Nome. Colin. Yeah. I tell you, I'm gonna call Wilt Silvents. Somebody has to get it. Oh, yeah. I'm calling Gnome. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you, I'm going to call Wilt Sylvance. He knows every rich person. That's true. That's true.

But he can't get money from Maurice, so I guess it's not. Oh, no. But if he shoots this, he's going to be 67. He's not going to be able to box anymore. That's true. He'll be the trainer. But good for him for making something. Has he, though?? No he didn't. Oh I thought it was out.

He made a sizzle. Did we all just give money to a GoFundMe to make a movie? It's the world's best Ponzi scheme. I've been texting him, great movie, I loved it, I watched the whole thing. I Am Maurice. It's immarice.com.

I know it's because he has t-shirts that say it, yes. I got a shirt. I've worn the shirt. I have too. This was. t-shirts that say it. I got a shirt. I've worn the shirt. I have too. This was ten years ago. Brian Kennedy. I forgot about that guy. I said that with such fucking disdain.

No, no, I just thought he... I remember him, yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah, this is... It has to be like ten years ago. Oh, this is lovely. Well, it was ripped.

He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's in his tent. He's be like 10 years ago. This is lovely. Is this a stick? Well, it was ripped.

He's in his 50s. He can't keep this up forever. Yeah. Yeah. It looks good. Oh yeah. Oh. Thief.

Shoplifter. Damn. Did he get soaked? Yeah. From a bodega. This looks like a video to get rid of the migrants. Oh my God. We gotta stop them. They to get rid of the migrants. Oh my god!

We gotta stop them! They're cleaning themselves in the bathrooms! Vote Trump 2025! Where do I get the cats? I don't think a trainer's taking that. I think he's like, you gotta come back and give me a... Yeah, what do I like, going back? He's having this kid.

Ding ding! Bum bum bum bum! Oh yeah. Did you have a... Did Will ever tell you the story about his audition for Denise? He's always having this kid. Ding ding. Oh yeah. Did Will ever tell you the story about his audition for De Niro? Let's hear it. No. Oh my God, it's the funniest story ever.

What happened? Big buildup. Really, it's that funny. All right. He goes up, I don't know what ruined it. I just learned that the moth joke that Norm told on Conan was you had told him that joke. Yeah, it wasn't my joke, it was a joke joke. Oh wow.

That great, you know. Yeah, that's a classic. He goes, I need a joke. And then I go, I'll do this, I told him the moth joke, but I told him the short. It's really short. I told him it's really short. Then he goes on Conan and he's like, and it does say he's making like Russian literature reference. Yeah.

How much time do you need? He's they said we got six minutes. He's like, so he took Collins joke and expanded it to six minutes long. It was so cool to hear that. What happened with Will though in De Niro? Oh, was, I hate to ruin the story, but he tells it obviously, but I mean, but he goes to audition for Bronx Tale. Bronx Tale. He just got to town, it's like 19 or whatever.

Not just got to town, but it's the first like he just showed up and then he goes in the audition and I don't know how he got in, but his friend tells him, you know, when you can cry on camera, people, they want to hire you. So the first audition he goes in, and the guy gets beat up on camera, he goes, that's him, that's the one, he starts crying. So they go, great, he passes every, whatever. It's him and the guy that got it, the finalist.

Oh Jesus. And then he goes, the audition, he goes, so he goes, I don't know any of these people, I don't know if Chas Bonterre is not famous yet, he's in there, they go, the director's coming too, De Niro shows up. So he's sitting there with De Niro, who he knows who that is, and Shaz. And they go, we love your tape. Do it. And he goes, that's him. That's the one. And it was great. De Niro goes, that was great. Just do it this time, but don't cry. And he goes, okay. And he goes,

that's him. He's crying. De Niro goes, we love you. You're great.. He was with this guy. Let's make him this time. Just try it where he's that kind of a gangster Yeah, hard. He doesn't want to cry He said it didn't like four times in a row and every time he just kept crying because it was stuck in his stupid head Wow He was stuck in his stupid head. Wow. So Will. I wonder if Chaz remembers this. We had him on here. I want to have him back on. With Will.

Will just starts crying when he shows up. That's so funny. That's the fucking guy. By the way, do you ever see the opening Anthony with Chaz and Vos? No. Pull it up.

One of the greatest things ever. What happened? They tricked Vos. They said, we want to do a Bronx. They knew Chaz was in there and they brought Vos in, but they didn't know Chaz was coming in. So they go, Vos, we're going to do a scene because Vos is like, I'm a great actor. He's playing Lilo Pagano and they have Chaz reading it.

And you just watch Voices, shame spiral, while he's reading the script with Chaz. He did a Bronx Tale scene with Chaz. Oh my gosh. Oh please, please. That's brilliant. That's Patrice healing. He's saying, look at Voices, he didn't know. This is incredible.

Oh my God. I fucking love him. He's shaking. Yeah, he's the worst. Louis, beans, I want my money. Oh. You can't dodge me forever. Oh. Say, come on, what are you yelling about, huh? John, I got a problem with this guy over here. forever you know he really thought this is gonna be something what's he I know, I know. They can't help it. Jazz gets it.

Louis, beans, I want my money. He's dodging forever. What are you doing about? What are you yelling about? John, I got a problem with this guy over here. Louis beans? This guy over here, 20? Two weeks now, and every time he's dodging it.

Should I crack him one or what? He wants his girl scout cookies. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20.

I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20.

I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. I'm not even 20. money again he's never gonna bother you again buddy he's out of your life for 20 dollars so forget about him no you're right oh

imagine doing that in front of patrice that would be brutal in chest pulmonary oh what the fuck are you looking at behind you now when i rewatch bronx tale i'm gonna be thinking of the junk exchange.

Oh, God. Is that Bobby? Is that Fat Bobby? Yeah. Chaz is delivering these lines perfectly. I understand you've done this. You wrote this, but that's watching the conservative actor. Boom.

Listen, I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange.

I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. I'm going to be thinking of the junk exchange. You've done this you wrote this but it's it that's watching the concert actor Oh my God! You want your money! And then he's calming you down! This is a nightmare! Take direction from Patrice! You can't die for forever! Say what are you doing? Come on, what are you doing? I got a problem with this guy over here.

Who is he? This is the same hand movement. Every time he keeps dying... It's like Will, he can't break out of it. Right. You can take the guy out of Jersey. Yep. Sean. Hehehehe. Hehehehe. Hehehehe.

Was he in cop show? I love him. I mean, I love that Chaz gets it too. Yeah. He's like, I know this guy's. By the way, we usually watch like 30 seconds of a clip the fact Because you also can see yourself We're no better Just pushing a little too much yes, we all have a little boss in us in us. That's why he's so likeable. I love Voss.

Everyone has a Jewish crackhead inside them. Hey, Quinn and I have talked about this, that bullet over Broadway is like the funniest. So funny. That's like probably my favorite Woody Allen comedy, man. It's so good. Great movie. Hey, We Might Be Drunk is brought to you by Shopify. The holidays are coming up and business needs the number one

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already, it's time to check out MyBookie Plus, their new loyalty program, rewards program that can help you earn extra cash just for doing what you do. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with My Bookie. This show was really, really something back in the day. It was really a funny show. Yeah, it was. Yeah, powerful. I mean, there's some great moments from that show, like iconic.

Yeah, powerful. Yeah. It was really fun just to walk in there and just felt like hanging out, you know? Yeah, now Norton's really trying to keep it alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we keep not answering that text.

Norton's like. It's so early. It's 8 a.m. That's really. I'm still going. I'm still going, and you too. I'm still going. You will, obviously.

I love you. I'm going on Monday. It's Norton. I love you. I love Jim. I still got it on you too. You will, obviously. I love Jim. It's not you. I love Jim. I love Jim. I love Jim. The other guy. I'm not cold. Nah, I'm just kidding, I love Robert.

Cold for the other guy. Good people. Oh, that is hard. That's humiliating. To do that with Patrice looking at you too, is just brutal. Forget about it. Do you have good memories of Patrice or no?

Yeah, I mean he was, I was scared of Patrice. He was so powerful. And I would try and call him out, like when he'd come at me, I'd try and call him out kind of legit to just stop the meeting. And he was like, he didn't want any part of that. He just wanted to kind of rip you apart and keep going There's a picture you in the fact like I think it's you boss and Patrice. Oh

Good You know movie slouch, I mean you're in what is it the informant? Well, I didn't want to say Stupid son of our kid. I was gonna say is that friend Steven Soderbergh. I was going to say his best friend, Stephen Soderbergh. Right? Is that what it is, Colin? LA Tom. During the story, I didn't want to say

that I was in an audition with De Niro and got locked up. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I didn't feel like my place. I didn't feel appropriate. Ellen! I know why he's not in the 14th.

I remember that scene. Yeah. It was me and Harold Ramis. It wasn't a big deal. Guys, this is just people along your path. Tommy Pops, ladies and gentlemen. Liz, let's hear about the two girls, one cup. That's my favorite.

Well, you were going to analyze this? That. That. Got it. The nut is good one. Well, that's what they say. That was a good scene. That was a good change. De Niro was the coolest.

When I went in to read, it was with Harold Ramis and they said you're gonna read with Bobby and I came in and I thought it was gonna be like a kid. Yeah. And it was De Niro. Whoa. Was he like the nicest person you ever met? No.

Patrice is in the corner. He's like, come on. I just hear a cackle from behind the cubicle. He was so nice. Like I've, I like fell in love with him more when I met him. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, Liz, it's, and just fuck me.

I'm like, I don't know you. He was, and then I'm like, I'm Guinea, he's Guinea. Yeah. Yeah. He was so cool to have him with the cellar, right? Yeah, he was so awesome. It was great. Movie was crap, but he was amazing.

I never saw that movie. Don't. Really? Don't. I heard my headshots in it. Someone's like, yeah, they use your headshot in Governors there or something. Don't, yeah.

That's a credit. I will, like, Norton. Are you in the new Joker? No, I'm not. Dodge that bullet. I think you meant that as your shot. Oh. I didn't, I didn't.

I was texting him like, Todd, I can sing, come on. Yeah, that was tough. Tim Dillon won't stop shitting on it. You're like, dude, they put you in the movie. I know. Come on. Oh, really? Oh yeah, he's going hard.

I haven't seen it. Apparently Tarantino liked it. Oh, okay. Yeah, he loved it. He said, fuck you to everybody. Really? He said that was his way to say, fuck you to the industry.

Is that right? What do you mean, why? I don't know. Because it lost him a lot of money? I just saw the headline. 32%. Nobody, nobody likes this. I don't know. Because they've lost him a lot of money people want? He's like, he made the Joker the hangover. I'm a fan.

He knows how to make a fucking hit. It was just an odd choice. He took a big swing and it happens. Right. Oof. Ouch. Wah wah. Now Jerry can talk about unfrosted

without feeling as bad. Were you in that, Tom? You were, right were right you weren't we both got snubbed. Yeah, we both got snubbed off of that unfrosted Damn well, I'll be back Maybe they'll leave him alone now. Maybe this will just be able to make whatever he wants to make Todd Phillips right I'm also kind of just like I think Todd's great and stuff Maybe they'll leave him alone now. Maybe he'll just be able to make whatever he wants to make. Todd Phillips. Right.

I'm also kind of just like, I think Todd's great and stuff, but I'm kind of done with, does everything have to be DC or fucking Marvel? You can't just tell a story, like, look, I watched a couple episodes of Penguin and it's a good show, but it's also like, you couldn't have just told this story. I know. Right.

They need that IP, they're all cowards over there. They're fucking pussies. They're just here to take a chance. There just are no more storytellers, that's it. No, there are, they're all cowards over there. They're fucking pussies. They're just here to take a chance. There just are no more storytellers, that's it. No, there are, these fucking exacts are pussies. They won't hire them. I went to see Saturday Night, the Jason Reitman. How was it?

And I saw it in the theater. And normally when you go to see a comedy, they show you other comedy clips and stuff. Everything was Marvel, everything was DC. Money, money, money. There's no other comedies in theaters that you could match it with. You literally couldn't put one other comedy

next to it. I think he's gonna come on here. I think he's gonna come on here to promote it. Reitman? Yeah. He's great. He's a really good guy. Did you see it?

The nerds are taking over. I guess so, well the nerds spend money. It's true. Can't believe we're leaving the area. Did you see the Saturday night movie? I did not. Are you going to as someone who has been on SNL? When it's on one of those shows, I will.

When it's on what? A streamer. A streamer. Is that what you're getting at? A streamer. A max. Colin is a film savant. Colin has given me some of the best movies. Yeah, I like good movies.

Cheers. Cheers. He's given me some of the, Colin had wrecked me Mona Lisa and The Long Good Friday. Oh. And they're both amazing wrecks. Amazing. You were, I didn't know, I knew you,

I know you know about everything, but then I saw you just randomly on YouTube in the Criterion closet. Oh. Oh really? And I was like, fuck, Colin knows every fucking movie, every made. What, you gotta hit us with some new movie.

Yes. Because our listeners love movie guys. What were your criterion picks? I can't, I don't remember. But I remember just popping in the closet and then suddenly all these movies come up and you're like, oh my god, so many great ones. But I can't remember them offhand.

I have to look at criterion to understand. Yeah, put it up and I'll tell you what I like. CQ always has like good recs for everything that I watch. In fact, I'll tell you, the one person I won't recommend a movie to ever again Well, I recommended this movie called East is East which is an English Indian movie in Pakistan away and um really funny Hated I'm over here. I mean stupid Keith Yeah, Keith that's all he likes and he's also handic handicapped. That's what Keith said after his first stroke, I was like dude it's so fucked up.

He's like I just need to make it one more Avenger movie. Oh, what a nerd. What a nerd is right. Keith. Jeez. Keith's are crumb. Just the fact that he didn't like East is East, I'm still annoyed by it.

I mean come on, it's Keith. Like you can't expect him to like anything. Armacord's great, 400 Blows is great. Actually dude I just fucking bought- I love a Marquard. Six Criterions because there was a flash sale and the Knicks were getting Yeah, actually dude. I just fucking I love a marquise Criterion because there was a flash sale and the Knicks were getting blown out. So I was like I need some retail therapy I'll tell you the six I bought house of games mammoth Wild the Ray Liotta, you remember

Mean streets I've never seen and I heard it was good. It's good, it's dark. The player, Altman fucking great. Yeah. And Hoop Dreams, they were all on sale. Right. There you go, what about Celtic Pride? They send you DVDs. Oh! No, I bought those.

They were on sale. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like, yeah, they're 4K or blue. There he is. Cool. What are you playing on? I have a DVD player. Really? Whoa, throwback.

There he is! Woe hop shirt. Good shirt. This it's exciting. Oh Let the hobo wait so wait are his recommendations down there, so we don't have to oh yeah My life is a dog the greatest yeah, but he sold out Roma something wild or something Why you did something over the other something wild too? Oh, you know the one from like 19? No, I don't know it. That was a really interesting movie. I just love Ray Liotta.

Girls Gone Wild? Ray Liotta's good. Not Girls Gone Wild, but I understand. It's just like, I love this movie because it's just like a weird, like it starts kind of like a different movie and it turns into this like scary. I remember this movie. It starts this like kind of escape fantasy thing. Yeah, like he meets a girl, she's like wild, they go to Jersey like a motel room and then Ray Liotta shows up. Oh It might be my favorite Ray Liotta performance dude, he's fucking hilarious. Yeah, really?

He's scary and also so funny. He's so annoyed by the nerdiness of what's it. You ever see naked? No. Yeah. Oh my god It's great. They've all these English movies from that. You ever Nilled by Mouth? We talk about that. It's Gary Oldman. It's like his autobiographical thing. Oh. Really? Wait, yes, yes I have. Yes, yes I have, yes.

When they pull it up, what's it called? Yes. Boy, we're all naked now. This is all like. Mike Lee is great, you ever see? Yeah, Mike Lee really. This is all my life when I was in high school. What's the Gary Oldman one that you recommended? Nilled by Mouth is called. Nilled by Mouth, likely really. This is all my life when I was in high school.

What's the Gary Olmer one that you recommended? Nailed by Mouth. Nailed by Mouth. Yeah. Nailed by Mouth. No, just NIL. Oh, they were here. Damn. All right. Oh, my God. It's amazing. It's amazing. Very British. Uh oh. Ray Whittle. Smoochy Smoochy.

Oh, yeah. OK. Another movie called Lady Bird, Lady Bird. There was a lot of great movies in like the 90s, you know I know I talk about it and that thing is just this old Iranian lady was my at the block But at the local video store and she would just come in every day She goes you watch this King of Mask and I was like, okay Give him the movie and it was always great. Wow How about that we are are missing that. We miss her.

The video days. In the connection. Yeah, you went to a store with people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they had a cat. The most annoying part was all these stupid film nerds, some of the comments were like, oh, I thought Karla Quinn was just a bonehead.

That made me so mad. It was like 30 comments were like, oh man, that was like the first movie I read Colin. Then he called me in two hours, he was like you were like you call me like what the fuck is this shit? And then I was like ah man. I was like the first movie ever at Colin. He called me in two hours It was good This movie fucked Elaine May in Hollywood because I'm so hard she directed it So hard, but it's yes, but it's freaking Peter Falk and Cassavetes it's awesome. But it was such a great plot but I just do feel like you let it drag too much into that like you know in those days. It's a woman directing it so they let a mob movie drag. Oh right. Oh no. Jesus. Alright I'll check that out. No that movie's awesome. I watched Columbo the other night. Oh, so good.

The best. God, an hour and a half long. What, an episode? It's a movie. An hour and a half. See, they did one once a week. Yeah. That's right.

Right. What are these movie people doing? God, he was so good. There's a Cassavetes episode of Columbo. That's a great one too. So good. Which one? The Cassavetes episode where he turns out to be the villain.

Cassavetes? Yeah. Spoiler alert. Come on. I think they probably open. I just got one more question. They open. Guys and buddies? Yeah. Spoiler alert. I'm just, I think they probably open, they open with the murder usually. Yeah. Just one more, ah, this is bothering me. I'm sure it's not.

That's pretty good. Come on, Tom. Isn't that the 1980s? I know. Something like that. Are we so far from it that it's funny again? Yeah. I guess you're doing it ironically.

Yeah. There you go. No one knew it. Liz, do you have a movie rec? Oh, God. I mean, there's like, probably my favorite movie ever is Cinema Paradiso. Oh, that's a great movie. I gotta watch that. Great movie.

Amazing. I don't know it. It is, are you kidding me, Tom? I know it. Are you for real? It's making me angry too. Oh my God, it is the most, it's one of the- The best. It is one of the most-

I thought you said something else. I did, that's what I said. I said Chinua Paradiso, thanks. Chinua Paradiso. It's one of the most beautiful movies. Yeah. It's a great movie. I love it.

I'll tell you what else is great, Liz. I'm gonna tell you, go ahead. I love that when he comes home, it's like the special visit. Oh, no. It really makes you feel like, like when you feel guilty, like, oh, I don't see my parents enough.

Yeah. Oh, that guy didn't. Yeah. That's true. Tom once said that when he goes back to the Clifton Olive Garden. How dare you. How dare you.

Look at Mario's pizza in Clifton. I love that I'm gonna be fucking hammered now How dare you, how dare you. Mario's pizza and Clifton. I love that I'm gonna be fucking hammered now to watch the Yankees get swept. Yeah. It's ugly. It's ugly. We're gonna watch it. Probably just home, I called out

because I wanted to see the game. It's. They're gonna win tonight. It's just. Because everyone thinks they're gonna lose. They should win at least one. They've got to. They've got to win two. They've got at least one. They've got to. They're gonna win two. They've gotta win this.

They've got to. They've got to. What's with Judge? The Dodgers are gonna be lazy tonight. He's not even swinging aggressively. That was weird. Right? That was weird, yeah. I think they're gonna win tonight. Don't do the motions. They got in his head.

Yes. But Liz, what about, I'll tell you, if Liz watches this movie, you've probably already watched it. I love martinis. You all love it as much as cinema. Nights in Cabiria. Pull it up. We, we, pull it up, pull it up, pull it up.

I don't think that's a real movie. Isn't that, is it Fellini? Who made it, Fellini? Cabiria. And that's his wife. Yeah. Whoa. You remember this night.

Oh, I remember that. It's amazing. Did you watch it? When she's in bed, she's just like all angry. I don't think she's in bed. Right. You had to put the wife in the movie. Who is the appletow?

Oh my God. Wow. No, but Fellini is cool. I love it. Eight and a half is amazing. I don't know. Oh, the best. Did you look up the Stalmaker, too, the Italian version of the Stalmaker?

It's called something the warm-up. If you guys watch these two movies, you're gonna be blown away. No, that's- Star Maker? Star Maker, but it's the Italian version. I see. That one. This movie?

The Womo delle Stelle. It's unbelievable. Man of the Stars, that's what it's called. This one? My favorite movie of all time. Wow. What's it called? Il Womo delle Stelle.

No more of the stars. Can you send me a copy of this time. Wow. What's it called? Il Huomo Del Estere. Huomo Del Estere. Can you send me a copy of this so I can remember all these movies? Just have these movies. I know. Some of these dudes. Yeah. All right, I'm on it. Ennio Morricone with the music.

What's it about? I'm in. Damn, every time he fucking kills the music. We should do a scene like from the Star Maker or from Sima Pesciolo with Rich Vorace playing one of the characters. We get Pritz and Voris. Francesco, Matteo and yeah, and Voss. That sounds like...

Gizmo didn't like that. Gizmo's like, dang. This is one of the best things ever. Really? All right. What's it about? You're reading right now. Joe Morelli. Traveling world Sicily.

Offering to take screen tests of wannabe actors. For a fee, he claims to work for a big Roman film studio, it's been reality, he's a fraud, he meets several people who express their deepest feelings and secrets in front of the camera. At one of his stops, he meets a young girl. Bietta. Bieta. Bieta, a convent girl who becomes a tattoo

despite his protestations. Wow, okay, I'm interested. Interesting. Interesting. Doesn't sound that great, but I'll give it a try. I mean, it sounds like he's fucking a nun. Yeah. That's what it sounds like.

He's sexy, very sexy. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, he didn't ever. Wow. What's up? Oh, okay. Don didn't even want to talk. Wow. Don't spoil it, don't spoil it.

Le uomo delle stelle. Oh is that beata? Yeah. Oh baby. Love those young Italian bars. Man of the stars. Molto beady. Mm mm mm.

Yep, perfect. Mm mm mm. Remember that girl in The Godfather? The Sicilian broad? The wife. The wife who blows up? Yeah. Spoiler alert. Yeah. She was something.

Anapinopoly, what was her name? She was hot. Yeah. Oh man, when he gets away from it all. Oh. Start a new chapter, get some Sicilian prunata. Yeah. Acropolis, what was her name? Acropolis, Apollonia.

Apollonia, that's it. That's when you were a kid, you throw that on, you see some tits and you're like, fuck yeah. And this is like an artistic movie, it's not a piece of shit. 70s tits. I notice that young dudes aren't into the Godfather. What? I've heard that.

Too slow? Why? It doesn't resonate with them, the idea of, I don't know, that kind of masculinity and tradition, it's lost on them. Just make a mob movie about influencers. And then they'll be like... Yeah, influencers.

That's a good idea. You come to my house not to make a fucking video for my vlog? What kind of disrespect is this? You say my friend, you don't follow me? You say my friend, you don't follow me. Jesus Christ. That's coming. Yeah, some of those classics like when you're growing up though, like Network was another one.

Like great movies and tits. This is a great combo. What about Dog Day Afternoon? Classic. Probably my top ten movies ever. Ahead of the game on trance by the way. Yeah. Dog Day is like, it's just like perfect man. my top 10 movies ever ahead of the game on trans like by the way yeah yeah dog

day is like it's just like perfect man matches fucking rules they're shooting up the block from my house that Park Slope yeah whoa it's Bishop board it's Wednesday times right yeah right there I'm walking to block my friend goes to shoot a movie like eight blocks away we should should go be extras. I was like, I'm not gonna fuck it. Oh. I could have been an extra in Dolly Depp's movie. Wow. Oh man.

I could have fucked you out of the crowd. Who knew there was gonna be a big extras or so important part of it? Hell yeah. If you watched The Verdict. They weren't saying there's money involved, they were just saying we go stand around and watch. Dude, The Verdict, you can see an extra Bruce Willis

as one of the jurors. Whoa, yeah. Big head of hair, it's crazy, yeah. It's kinda cool to see that stuff. And now he can't speak, it's so sad. You can see an extra Bruce Willis as one of the jurors It's kind of cool to see that stuff and now he can't speak it's so sad Where oh wow, yeah, that's a fucking that's another Sydney lament by the way Yeah, that's right great fucking so it's Sydney Lamay is like about Q&A the greatest what it out, but you know when you lament Q&A We fucking Jim Norton loves that one too, he loves QAnon I've never heard Q&A No

Well the mugshot happened and it ruined him. But after, I mean come on. I think that hurt him but I mean I don't give a shit. Come back, Nick. Come back. Armandasante. Luis Guzman, dude. We met him at

at Garden of Laughs to Stefano and I, and it was so funny watching, he was so nice, he was the coolest guy, but it was so funny watching DeStefano try to be like, you gotta sit, come go, and you'll be great as the father-in-law, and he's like, I don't do bad TV stuff. Wow, sounds sort of like something that Colin said.

Yeah, I'm not gonna be your father in your pilot, no, no, no, I'm gonna do my own stuff. Enter Chaz's commentary. Ah! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You knew it was gonna flop. I just like that script. Oh, that's fair.

That's fair. It was a script where there's literally no conflict after the pilot. Right. How are you gonna have a show? All right, you got principles. The show already failed, we didn't have to trash it, you know? I mean, it's fair.

Just definitely needed to hear it again. It's alright. Words of caution. Just one word. Sam, we're at a good point. It's like, look, the show that lasted one episode was not good. Wait, stop. We wanna prove it again.

That must've been tough though. You should put a balloon here called Chris's dream and then we all. Ah. Ah. Well I think the turnaround is that the Guzman might do the show now. Oh.

Oh. Really? He was so fucking cool. And that guy's also been in like so many movies. He's been in everything. He's been in a lot of stuff. He's like, low key kinda just been in every great movie. Everything. The only thing you'll never see him on? Kill Tom. Move it up. Oh lord have mercy. Bump us past Ari and Adrian.

He's got a good filmography there. Yeah. I mean everything. Out of sight is so good. Everything. The limey is good. Oh traffic. Traffic's sick.

Damn dude. Damn. Ah Pluto Nash. Pluto Nash. Magnolia. Wow. And by the way, in Q and A, he's amazing. Oh yeah? He's great.

Everybody's great in it. All right, dude, can you write some of these down for me? Cause I'm gonna, I- I know. And then text it to all of us. Don't forget to write down Q and A. Jesus. And a star is born or whatever.

I like the idea of the, I like Influencer Godfather the best of all these movies. That's fun. Influencer Godfather? Yeah, that is a good idea. Make that. I can wait five mil for that. Text Pimp.

Make it happen. That'd be good. Oh, Pimp would do it in a second. Of course he would. Influencer Godfather. He would love that. Maybe I should do that. Why do you think they're not into it, this generation?

Why? Because they're too into it, this generation? Why? Because they're too busy watching like four things. First of all, we're taking time off with no evidence. I think he's right. I've heard this from other people. He just said it, now we're supposed to believe it. No, but I've heard other people say this. Yeah.

People are up their own ass. They don't want to watch another family. They don't need it. It's three and a half hours is probably why. Everybody just wants the 60 seconds, 120 seconds on their phone and then keep it moving that's it. Godfather gotta watch Godfather.

Even in those days by the way they said Godfather was they were they you know you're screening for Paramount executives and they were like we have a bomb on our hands this is terrible it's slow it's lit too dark there's no not enough violence they were they wouldn't buy any Clyde. Yeah. They were horrified. They were all like, what a bomb. And there was a panic in the studio.

That's right. It is. Did you read the offer? About getting The Godfather made? The show's the offer. The book is- I watched the series. I watched the series too.

I didn't read the book. The book is called something else. I forgot. It's good. It's spaghetti or something. No, Puzo. Mario Mario. The book's called An Orphan Can't Refuse. Yeah, it's something.

No, it's called The Orphus. Ha ha ha. Is it The Orphus? I think you're right. The book about the making of the Godfather, just look that up. Yeah. Yeah, cause it's-

How much do you think Ricky Gervais is worth? Ooh. Ha ha ha. It's good to know. Well, I just want to know one thing. How much did he make of The off the American office? That's it Is that my he made a ton off of that except for a life, but how much is it? I bet we could Google his net worth. Oh, I would know how much he got for the American or hundred million easy

Oh the American office. Yeah, and we're crazy residuals. That's too much He's made enough money Very happy to not do anything after 8 p.m. To make sure he's in his house by 8 p.m. Well he does stand up. What are you saying? He's got FU money? Yeah, he does that other show. But I want to know what he made on the American office. Has he come by the cellar before? He's been before, yeah, but it's, you know, he doesn't want to do anything late.

Most of his money in the American office. NBC picked it up, Netflix picked it up. What is it, a bunch of comments? That's not the answer. Reddit. His net worth 160 million. Seeing you guys have 400 on the office alone, I knew that you guys had 200.

Yeah, but that's just well over the lifetime of the past year. Do you believe him when he says kids don't like the Godfather and he doesn't even know? They don't. They really don't. Pull up Colin Quinn's net worth. Pull up Sam Morell's net worth Oh shit

Let's see what we've got Sam Morell's net worth I don't trust it Fuck Colin, we don't need Colin What is this Bing? What search engine are you using here? Bing What is this? Ash Jeeves?

CQ, Two million! Now put in Dumb Sam's name. Not for long! Godfather! Oh no! Wow, you beat CQ! What is happening? You didn't serve that picture.

All my life I slaved away. Oh! Real estate, real estate. All right. Don't put in Tom Papa. I don't want to embarrass him. Please do it right now. Do it right now.

Tom Papa. Put Liz, it'll say who. It'll be like what? These things are never right. Tom Papa. Tommy Pops. 500,000. Hey!

Oh! Tommy Pops. Now I've got to make this movie. These things are cool. $50,000 Todd Barry beat you. Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, my God! That can't be true. Oh, my God! David Tell, that's crazy. That's a horrible photo. No, no, no. He is great real estate David Tell. Great real estate.

That's true. 100%. Those sons of bitches really got it. Go to Taylor Swift. Wow. All right. Colin. Hey, you know, I screwed up.

1.5 billion. Jesus. Now, she's got the kind of money I like. She's funny. Yeah, that's some fucking money. That's what I'm talking about. That's real up. 1.5 billion. Jesus. Now she's got the kind of money I like. She's funny. Yeah, that's some fucking money. That's what I'm talking about. That's real money. Yeah, because she funded a party.

Who cares? Nope. 600 million. Oh boy. I mean, I would love to trade places with that guy. Oh. Everyone wants a downtown Brooklyn address. Woo.

What's the inside scoop on that? When does that trial start? That's what's annoying about him. I want some hard facts. I've just seen rumors on the internet. Yes! We got the beating in the hallway. That's something concrete. But everything else is like, he fucked Bieber, JLo's getting a divorce, what'd he do with Jay-Z? I'm like, give me something!

I know. I feel like they're clampinging down. They're finding everybody's getting deals. There's going to be a lot of rappers at the CIA assets for the next 20 years. Who do you think is the biggest name on that Diddy party list? Because I've heard Jay-Z, I've heard murmurs of LeBron. DiCaprio. Dude, everybody. Everybody.

Everybody went to that party. They were all there. Yeah, but who was at the bad part is what I'm asking. Keith. All of them. After midnight. Yeah. They were all there after midnight. Did who was at the bad part is what I'm asking. Keith Robinson. Yeah. They were all there after midnight.

Did you say Keith? Keith, Keith Robinson. John last time. I'm saying it's Keith Robinson. Keith Robinson. Keith Robinson. Yeah. Keith would still go to a party if he was invited.

Three martinis later. Yeah, he would. Of course he would. He'd be like, free to act. I'm gonna go to that clank. I would go too if I was invited. Clank, clank. Where's the clank? Yeah. I'm like, I got a clank. I would go too if I was invited. Where's the ton of clank?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. He got a couple strokes in. Jesus. Sorry. But who the hell was it? Yeah. You would have gone Epstein's Island.

You would have gone Epstein. Well, do you think that he survives? Like, does he? P. Diddy? Yeah, does he go to jail? Nah, he's already got jail time and. No, like Epstein, right? Oh. Like, do they let him survive him survive I think he is doing just fine good question like I think you

put him in any sort of jail scenario and he'll be okay yeah the powerful people trying you tell us your part of the Illuminati with that four million. Yeah, you're friends with that, Damon. Come on. I tell you, numbers are always inaccurate. No, that's Mayor Adams. Oh, no, that's someone else. Yeah, that's another one, I'm sure. Yeah, Mayor Adams is in hot water. Cat Williams was the prophet.

Yes! Geez Louise. It's all his people. No, that's Bruce Willis. Yeah. He doesn't remember it though. And he's not talking either. Bruce can't speak. He can't speak.

That's how Bruce wins. Oh jeebers creepers. Smart. Smart. He planted the seed early. Hey, I can't talk anymore. Just another example of why it was smart to stay in stand up. Yes!

And not chase the big money guys. With the losers. Good job. Good job. Yeah, we're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. We're not throwing any good parties. Another example of why it was smart to stay in stand up and not chase the big money guys.

With the losers. Good job, good job. Yeah, we're not throwing any good parties. No. No, absolutely not. You didn't do that movie. Yeah. Although we are throwing a party next week,

but we'll tell you about that later. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Party. We're both invited. Oh no, is it like an anniversary for the show? No, no, no, no. Do we have to wear white?

Yes. No. Only you, Tom, only you. It's gonna get crazy after seven years. It's a centuria party. Just the clanhood. But yeah, we're doing a little bodega cat release party. There you go.

At a bodega? No, at the Fat Black Chrissy cat. Oh yeah. All right. Wow. Yep, at the Fat Black. By the way, I heard a fat black pussycat. Oh yeah. Wow. By the way, I heard a Hispanic guy recently saying, Hey stop, white guy, stop saying bodega. That's not for you.

And I was like, oh shit, we just started this whole liquor. What are you supposed to say? Well you don't have to answer that. Convenience store, deli, but deli is Jewish. Bodega is like a New York thing. I didn't even think about it. The word is Spanish, that's it. When I was growing up, it was Koreans on them.

Oh! The Korean. No, actually it used to be Puerto Rican, then it became Koreans. I see. You ever see the Koreans on the roof in the riots? Sure, the riots. LA riots. That's a great photo. I remember that. I was out there.

Pull them up. Man. Yes, white people can say Bodega. Thank you, Google. Good AI. The whitest sight ever. Look at these guys. These are fucking men. Oh yeah.

I remember that. Just protecting their corner store. Their homestead. I remember that whole time. Crazy. Good times. It's definitely the toughest Asian. Oh, Koreans?

Koreans? Oh yeah. It's Japanese. I mean, look at that war. Yeah, but they got no shoes on. They're doing... They are Oh, yeah. Japanese don't fuck around, dude. Yeah, but they got no shoes on. They're doing... They are tough, but guess who's tougher? Tongans. Them giants who walk the earth. Pull them up. What's a Tongan?

Robert Kelly? What's a Tongan? Bobby? Oh, these like sumo? What about... Yeah, the sumos are tough. What about the maoris? What about the tungans? What about the sumoans? Oh, the sumoans. Sumoans are giants who walk the earth.

Yes. Hock to a, no what's the guy, to a. I've never seen a sumoan fight that one. What's the guy, to a, the football player. From the dolphins? The guy who got canceled? Is that tough or, no he's not canceled. The guy from the dolphins?

What's his name? You see he's not gonna wear one of those a guy from the Dolphins? Do you have his name? You see he's not gonna wear one of those special helmets to actually protect him. That's what I don't understand. Teo, not Tua, Teo. Oh, not a Teo, yeah, that's a totally different dude. Who are you thinking of, Tua? Quarterback from the Miami Dolphins.

No, he just had a guy fuck with his head. Not a, no Tua, this guy won't wear the fucking, a crown to help the team. Really? Yeah. He won't wear the fucking... He is. Really? Yeah. He won't wear that crown thing. Simone's considered effeminate to do that.

Am I right? I do too, for the record. I mean, Tom played high school football. He did, yes. You know, doing this is not the most manly shit either, so, you know. Why, can they play ukulele, Simone? I don't know, I know, just being like, concussed and doing this shit. I thought you were saying...

I was like, we're having Parkinson's? Oh my God, is that... That's how his hands are moving. He's doing being like concussed and doing this shit. I thought you were saying. I was like, we're having Parkinson's? Oh my god, he's like, that's how his hands are moving. He's doing it like Trump. Yeah. Like this, like that. How about Tom, he played high school football for Clifton High. You played high school football?

Dude, Tom was, I'm gonna say this, Tom was a badass. Tom played football, Tom is like motorcycle cross country. Good looking guy. Good looking guy. Tom pop up, bad ass. Tattoos, like Tom pop up, bad ass. And now you're baking bread. I'm saying it.

Back in the day. And he bakes an amazing book of bread. There was only one problem and he says it in the book, it's not a secret. Liz, you'll know what this is. The shocker? The horns. This girl who was cheating on him in high school. What do you mean?

You gave her the horns? That's what they call it in Italian. Oh, I see. Don't tell them what happened when you told your friend. A traumatic memory. Colin read his book. I think she's cheating on me. He told his friend. Oh, I think I said I think I think I said I think she's cheating on me with so and so

and he was like so and so. She's cheating on you with everybody. Oh, shit. It hurts. It was my first love. It was your first love. How'd you confront her? Crying. Oh.

Oh. Why? In his football uniform. Oh. Why? Damn. Damn. Just promised you won't do it again.

Oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. I learned a lot from that relationship. I didn't know Tom Papa is a badass. He was a badass. Oh yeah, Tom badass. Oh shit, Tom Papa rock and roll. Did you know him as that?

No, I didn't mean to say it like that. No, I didn't know the badass, Tom. I've only heard about the badass. You ever want to let that guy out again? Yeah, he's kind of Frank the Tanking it now. He's like popping his head up now that my kids are gone. Oh, good. Yeah.

Get him back. Get on the bike. It's like, I can have weed on my coffee table again? Yeah. Like, yeah, wait a minute. But I don't think I have the stamina with the willpower. I heard about him. I don't have the brain cells.

I don't think he's coming back. It creeps out of my standup too, because Tom is pretty clean, but everyone's gonna have a bit about, you have that bit about drinking over the sink. And I was like, oh shit. And you're like, what? Yeah.

A lot of the female bookers on the road have told me about this too. Oh, easy. They told him about this shit right here. Rebecca Trent. Who knew, Tom? You gave me old horns. You read all of Tom's books?

I read two of them. Colin interviewed me at the 92nd Street Y. And the Barnes and Noble. Twice. Wow. You have books? He's a good friend. He has books.

What? The problem with Tom's books, not the problem, love him, love Tom, is that you read Tom's book and all you hear is Tom's voice in your head. They're that well written that you literally just hear Tom talking to you, and for someone that knows Tom, it's a little disconcerting. Yeah, you have four books.

Holy. Three. Whoa! How do you write all this? I have three books. He's a prolific mother fucker. There's two specials in there. You're Doing Great's a book, Your Dad's So My Rake,

We're All In This Together. and Other Family Dilemmas, and We're All In This Together. Sweet. Was Human Mule the Rob Zombie one? Human Mule was not that. No, Freaked Out was Rob Zombie, right? Freaked Out and Live in New York,

with Rob Zombie. Wow. Yeah, you were rocking a martini in that one, in the New York one. In the New York one. He was giving Soderbergh's direct one of his specials. Hey! He had no part of it. You one. You should make Soderbergh's direct one of your specials. Hey!

He had no part of it. You know, I love Soderbergh. But his... How about Matt Damon? But right behind him. Whoa! What's up, Matt Damon? What's up, Matt Damon?

Yeah, that would be good. Tell him to do like a born identity special where you go to the movies. Tell him, oh, that'd be great! You, Tom on a motorcycle, Matt Damon, I should not have another martini. Right there. Yeah. Stillborn identity. Still Right now. Oh, man.

Stillborn identity. Stillborn identity. I like it. What did Soderbergh say when you asked him to? Absolutely not. I'm busy. Yeah. I love your work.

Greg Jacobs, though, who works with Soderbergh, is a director. He did, you're doing great. Okay. Let me tell you something. I'll say this right now. I was just joking when I said that. The audacity of you to ask Soderbergh to direct you.

If you don't ask. Yeah, you gotta ask. He introduced me to Soderbergh, and Soderbergh came right up and goes, I know you loved it, but Confederacy of Dunces will never be a movie. And he wrote. He tried.

He tried to do it, he's from New Orleans. Yeah. And he said, it's not meant to be that is your favorite book ever that's right they shouldn't although Michael you know Michael the bartender singer from the cellar Michael goes with send us the scripts it's like oh no he sent us all these ships oh no he wrote all these Confederacy day because I wrote the whole series he wrote the Confeder's like oh no. He sent us all these ships. Oh, no, he wrote all these confederacy Because I wrote the whole series wrote the Confederacy. They're like, oh no like eight episodes. It's brilliant It's really what it's brilliant. What? It's really it captures everything you wanted to capture

I'm literally gonna check a joke and work. He did it for no reason Certain book. What was the Tom Wolf book that just tanked as a movie? Oh yeah, Bonfire of the Vanities. And they wrote a great book. Well that was the beginning of Politically Correct. That book was great because it was all based, there was a Jewish judge, there was the Irish guy, there was the black guy, and they made it, they changed the whole thing. They took all the ethnicities and they made it they changed the whole thing

Ethnicities and mess change it because they were like we don't need to be that and they write the essence of what it was his thing is right you all and everybody being who they were and they just Just like you can just be reading a book and you're like, yeah, you're good. You're too scared I read a book over the weekend. I was on the road called a rage in Harlem Chester Himes I remember this book. It's a cool book, but I was like, holy shit They would never make a book like it's so fucking violent They would ruin this, you know, right and it was like a there's like a trans element and it was like really kind of It was like the 50s. It's like cutting-edge of shit. It's awesome But by the way, Q&A has some of the greatest trans elements of all time. I'm gonna watch this weekend. Okay

Confederacy dunces, even though those scripts are really great, everyone has their own vision of what he is, you know what I mean? Ignatius? Yeah, like I feel like you have to cast that as an unknown. But that's also the beauty of it. I agree, an unknown with a big voice, like a British, almost like a British,

like that guy, Oliver Platt, do you remember? Yes. He could have- We tried to get him on the pod, so he wouldn't come on to us sobriety. I'll tell you who could have done it. And we're like, we hit silver guests all the time. I'll tell you who could have done it.

Colin Quinn. If he gained weight, Will Ferrell. Oh. He almost did it. Will Ferrell could do it, cause he'd go all the way with it. Who did it? Off Broadway.

Someone did it in Connecticut. Oh yeah, what's his face from? Parks and Rec, you know, they. Oh, Offerman? Offerman. Offerman. Oh, I get it. He did a whole Broadway show.

Wow. That's good. That's not bad. But Will Ferrell, Will Ferrell would be so, Will Ferrell's insane enough to really pull it off too. Wow, that looks just like him. That's him. That's good.

That's Offerman. They went a little too piratey there, huh? Well, you're the pirate. Remember, there's a pirate scene, and he dressed like a pirate. Oh, OK. Yeah, all right. I guess that's the one. There.

That's what I was picturing. To do it on stage is tough. God. Wow, they really fatted it up. Oh, there he is. It's hard to judge. You can never judge anything in the theater from a photo. That's true.

You don't. It just always falls right just always New York one when they show like a greatest play yeah that's Murni Minkoff probably yeah he's a good actor that guy Nick Hoffman he's really amazing yeah look at that belly they got him a new thing about Chester A. Arthur coming out and the president yeah maybe it's about Garfield but he plays Chester Arthur actually. But it's like, it sounds awesome. What the hell? What are you saying, Sam?

None of us know. Well, no, he just. Give it a go. Oh, he's in it. He plays Chester Arthur. We thought he was bringing up Chester A. Arthur, which nobody's ever brought up. Well, no, he plays him in the thing.

Same episode. Well, no, because it's, I mean, it seems like- Was he like a scandalous president? Chester? Chester Arthur? I mean Garfield got fucking assassinated, so I don't know. Like he's, I mean. Yeah, I don't know that story at all.

Well he was assassinated, but he didn't die from the bullet wound. He died from the doctor not washing his fucking hands. Oh, I never wash my hands. He's like the reason. He's the reason doctors wash their hands is Garfield. Is that right? Yeah, there we go.

Wow. Twilight lightning. There was a guy at SiriusXM, I was in the bathroom and I was washing my hands after using the urinal. There was a guy in the stall and I'm washing my hands, doing the whole thing, get the, you know, it's Sirius, they have the garbage can right by the door so you can take the paper towel, open the door with it.

And this guy bops out of the stall and just, thank you. And like went right past me. He poppied you. I was like, no, like thinking like, no shame. No, dude, you just came right from the stall out into the world. Doesn't he know everyone there has a radio show that you can just talk about that, employee?

Yeah. That's crazy. I see that at the airport a lot. I see it at the Comedy Cellar a lot. Oh boy. I've heard about Ladies and Men, and I hear about it from the men's room. Whoa.

Keeping my mouth closed. As long as they only work around the food, I don't care. I don't touch the mic. Is the game, I don't care. I always end up touching the mic. Is the game gonna be on at the Selling Night? Yes, of course it is. Yeah? Of course. I think that's where I'm gonna watch it.

Are you gonna be there? Yeah, Fiori and I, like, Andy Fiori and I need to watch this game together because every time it's been a pivotal game, we've watched it together and they've won. Oh. I feel like we need, De'Ori and I need to come in

and just watch it on a phone and just focus in. We broke a table and glasses when they won the ALCS. Wow. De'Ori is such a nice guy and it's a waste of those giant hands. Those hands should be around people's throats at all. He does have a bouncer type of like, I will kill you. He'd be a beast. His father's really like 90...

Old. But he was a World War II veteran. Yeah, his father was. I think he won a D-Day. He lived to like 100 or something, right? Yeah. He died during COVID. World War II. His father was also like one of those old school guineas that like he'd go to the dentist and be like, I don't want the Novacaine. And do root canals without Novacaine.

Wow. Just like hardcore ginseng. And he works with me on the road and he always gets mad because I don't like to eat after the show. Cause I'm always like, that's the worst time to eat. I'm so late, I'm Tom Papa. just like this grizzly bear going, what? I need food. I need food.

If it's just one show you won't eat too? One show, one show. Come on. One show, Tom's like, oh, my window is closed. It's really true. One time, Fiore walked through. I used to be tough. I used to be tough.

One time, Fiore walked through the cellar, and David Tell was on stage, he was going to the bathroom, and Dave goes, oh, a hipster Santa. He's got the white beard, the white hair. Damn, that's so good. So good. You gotta put up a photo of him while we're making fun of him. He's just a huge lug of a human being.

Big ol' white haired lug. It's a lovable lug. Fuckin' fiori. Yeah, we thought he was from Buffalo for some reason. He just looks like he's from Buffalo. Yeah, Jersey. Yeah, Jersey. He comes from Clifton.

He knew Mario's Pizza where he went. Oh! He was like playing all the time. Good upbringing out there. Seems like white picket fence and... My parents fell in love in Clifton as high schoolers. There you go. No, the best town I was at the other night,

I can't believe I never was in this town my whole life, was Rutherford. Yeah, that was my- It is right by the bridge, it's the most beautiful town I've ever seen. Really? That was my first apartment as a baby.

Wow. I never saw it. Oh, God. He just comes back. Oh, look at you. Hi Gizmo. Oh, how old is Gizmo? Gizmo's 12 and a half.

Whoa! He's no winner. Yeah, Frank is, Frank's like six and a half, and they look the same. Yeah. That's a healthy pooch. That is a healthy pooch.

I think he was 29 pounds today, or 28.6 pounds today at the vet. Wow. He's a little fucker. Is he a little arthritic? He seems like he's... He, well, yes, he has osteoarthritis, and we use Labrella, which is for everyone or anyone listening,

it's amazing if your dog has arthritis. It really has fucking changed his life. It's a shot, he gets a shot every month and it like, game changer. My cat could use that I think. Probably. I think Keith dated her Labrela. He would bring her by the end of the summer.

Keith could use some Labrela. Oh. Tom used to have a bit about like how the bathroom's the only place you have privacy and like it's like your wife's hand under there, your daughter's hand under there, the cat's paw under there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

Great visual. Ha ha, well wait, Tom, special's out, spin out. Home free. And Collins has got a YouTube puppy cooking. Yeah, both two of the best. What's it called, the election? No. It's called...

Tea and Stamps. Confederacy of Dances. That's it. The election special? Stamps and Tea. Stamps and Tea. That's it, Stamps and Stamps. Stamps and Tea.

Colin Quinn, it's on YouTube. On YouTube. Just subscribe to Colin Quinn's YouTube. And by the way, the worst thing about today is Todd Barry's gonna be so happy that he's worth 2.5 and I'm only worth 3. Don't tell him! He's not watching!

None of this is real. Don't tell him! It's all fake. We won't know. They'll put out clips. That's a good sign that you're double the time limit. So you're 8,000 versus 4 hours. That's a good sign.

It is? Yeah, yeah. It should be about a thousand an hour is good. You're double that. That's a good sign. It is? Yeah, yeah, it should be about a thousand an hour is good. You're double that. That's good. Nice. Colin Quinn, the best comedian we have amongst us. Yes. Listen, when we started this shit, it was 6,000.

Ah-ha, that's true. It was, I saw that. The most prolific standup comedian we have. Tonight it's gonna be good. It's gonna really catch fire tonight. Oh, you better believe it. Halloween, a lot of people stay home. They watch comedy.

Plus the election's in the algo. You're all over the algo. By the time this comes out, the election will be over. fire tonight. Oh you better believe it. Halloween a lot of people stay home they watch comedy. Plus the elections in the algo you're all over the algo. By the time this comes out the election will be over. No! Come on Yang. What America will we be living in? Bowen Yang. Yeah there you go. Home free. Is Andrew Yang running now? No I'm joking. No. What's his name for running? Jules Dunn. Jules Dunn and Mary Williamson. I did tell someone to write Collin's name in for president. There you go. I've been pushing for Collin to be mayor. He wanted to be the mayor. I've been saying that for a long time.

I like that. Collin would be great, he knows every borough. He'd be a great mayor. That's true. And I got the greatest slogan. What? Win for the win. Nice.

We can have a homophobic mayor. What? Colin could do it. You could do it. I'll do it. You giving speeches with that voice? I'll do it. The gravel.

And I promise you, people. Yes. From Brooklyn, born and raised. I knew tomorrow. When Mackie and I made that cartoon, he voiced the mayor. You got a little. I knew tomorrow today. You just walk from your apartment to work.

It's like this is nice. I know. You pass Joe's pizza. You have a slice. I don't even pass Joe's. It's perfect. I literally live a block from here. I know, that's what I'm saying.

Talking about your rat, your way to get rid of the rats. Your rat idea. I was going to say, every homeless person, $20 a rat. Bring it right to Gracie Mansion. Two birds, one homeless. Yes. Wasn't it sticky pad on the avenue after midnight? And you have your homeless person program.

Colin has his whole homeless person program. Yes, I have homeless program. I would clear up the homeless problem definitely. Oh, you had a homeless train. No, better. They had their own car. No, had a homeless train. No. Oh that was another idea. They had their own car. No this one's better. Car on the train this way they have like a sleep car and you don't have to deal with them. That's good. But dignity. You got in that car by action though it's gonna be dicey.

Well yeah but it'd be like those old 40s movies where you have the little sleeper cars. Yeah you label it. Yeah that's actually not bad. I know. He's got some quinn for mayor. Quinn for the win. Quinn for the win. Quinn for the win. Quinn for the win. Quinn for the win. Quinn for the win.

By the way, I like the fact that my favorite part of the campaign so far is Tom Slogan didn't catch on at all. Exactly. They all made up their other on their own. I thought mine was so good. No, it was Quinn for the Win. See you. See you.

Tom's slogan bomb. Quinn for the Win is already used. AOS. AOS. I guess we can't. Lou Gehrig Disease Institute. God damn it. They say Quinn for the Win at Lou Gehrig's disease.

Why? Why? Oh. That guy died. Pat Quinn. Oh. There you go. I never liked that guy.

Never. No. No. Oh, Tom. It's going to bring up bad memories for that community. Oh, my god. Tom, stop saying it's bad. It's not your brand.

I'm sorry. Oh, fuck. Ha ha ha. Bring Laurie back. You too. That's true. Gizmo's just done. Well yeah, watch.

Looks like Gizmo had five martinis. Yeah. Gizmo had like, Where you guys gonna be on the road? He had the light like three times. I like that. Yeah, you doing road gigs? Sure.

He's pulling them up right now. Big ones coming up. Yeah, what do you got? Tommy Pops, what's happening? Tommy, I know you're opening for the sign. Who wants to promote those dates? We're only gonna promote our specials. Just go to TomPapa.com.

Yeah really. There's gonna be new dates posted for the new year. Look at his little map on there and you know what December, what day is it in December that you're doing Come to Papa? Oh no, it's the one at the cellar. Come to Papa Live December 10th. I never told you guys about the time. I demanded they don't use my material on Sirius about a year ago. And yet? I said, don't use my material, Tom, I'll do your show. Big favor. And, but don't use it on Sirius. He goes, we won't. He looked at me like, even asking is an insult. That's not true.

Cut to Nick DePaulo calls me, I like that video you're doing, a new bit I heard on the radio. I go, that's an old bit of it's on Sirius. He starts saying the bit, I'm like, I haven't even put it out yet. Oh. Luckily for you it's on Sirius. He starts saying the date, I'm like, I haven't even put it out yet. Luckily for you it's out.

On the new special. And it's a circus. The Apollo message we want to do about a bit on Sirius. The Apollo listens to Sirius. Yes, he drives around because he misses the comedy scene. He loved going to that Skank Festival, you guys. That was fun. He loved it.

We put him on our pod. We had to delete the app. He loved it. He loves it. Nancy Pelosi him on our pod. We had to delete the app. He loved it. He loved it. Nancy Pelosi's up. Beep. Have you guys never had DePaulo on here? We would.

No, he doesn't live here. He's down in Savannah. Yeah, I understand that. But when he's in town, come on. I would have. He's never coming back. He was here for Colin's wedding. Yeah.

That's true. That was a while ago. That was a while ago. Staying home with DePaulo or He was here for Colin's wedding. Yeah. That's true. That was a while ago. Staying home with DePaulo or two each year. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Does Nick drink?

He so drinks. Yeah, does Nick drink? Doers on the rocks. I remember that. Oh, nice. Doers on the rocks. He gets mellow when he drinks. He's really mind.

He's so much fun. It's worth a picture of mellow DePaulo. Yeah, well, I would say, well, mellow for him. It's great. Yeah. My favorite DePaulo story is that H, I would say, well, Mello for heaven. It's great. My favorite DePaula story is that Hedberg joke, you know? Oh, yeah. I was on the phone with him at that moment. That's fucking for me.

Whoa! I was on the phone with him, and he goes, this guy next to him, I'm going to go over and kick the shit out of him. You hear him banging on the fucking wall? You hear this fucking guy banging on the wall? You know, he's banging on the wall for the guy. You hear the fucking music he's playing? Yeah.

And he's banging on the wall. He goes, I'm going to kick this guy's ass. Fucking playing for the guy. You hear the fucking music he's playing, you know? And he's banging on the wall. He goes, I'm gonna kick this guy's ass. Fuck, I'm playing music too loud. Wow. What if a bitch Hedberg would listen to in the early 90s? Yeah. You tell me. Blind Melon.

I think he likes Blind Melon. But then he ended up liking it. No rain. He goes next door and he goes, and then he called me and he goes, the guy's really good, he's a cool guy. He's funny, I saw him in Letterman or something. He was really funny. Wow. He's a comedian, he's a cool guy. He's funny, I saw him in Letterman or something, he was really funny.

He's a comedian, what are the odds of that? That is crazy. That is crazy. Well, Seinfeld said Nick gave him the best tag he's ever gotten in all of comedy history. Really? The funeral joke. He said on your pod, the one where Seinfeld says, public speaking's the number one fear, number two is death

Something something something and then Nick goes you should say that means you had a funeral You'd rather be in the box than given the eulogy right something like that. Yeah, that's right Yeah, it never works In Ann Arbor, Michigan November 7th, he was me out before November 7th, I doubt before November 7th I doubt it. You guys editing process is difficult. You know what, no one cares about Ari. November 29th he's in a. If you could just go to Colin Quinn dot com or really subscribe to his YouTube page.

Yes. Because he's so active on YouTube. Yes, too active. He has all this shit, like he does the block by block. He has, he. Cop shows up there. Cop show is on there. His Instagram. There's also a cop show. If you want to go to TikTok, you can see a lot of cop show there.

You're stuck in the you're stuck in the 2010s. I just like seeing you on my space. I like what I like. Enough with the bread, Tom. Tom Papa is making bread, best bread I've ever had. It's a great bread. And he's on Netflix radio every single day with Fortune Feimster and you can find him on tompapa.com. He's also gonna be at the Comedy Cellar

December 10th for Come to Papa Live. Christmas edition. Christmas edition. Where, Christmas edition where he'll sing and it'll be annoying and I'll hate it, but it'll be great. What are you gonna sing? He sings every fucking time. He sings every time.

Sing the song, Collin, sing the song, sing it. Collin knows the song. Yes. Collin knows it. I love New York and June, how about you? And there it is. But it's too bad. Where do we go to get Colin Quinn's movie recs? Parafinalia?

We go to YouTube and that's the criterion. Matt's got his work at Apple. I don't sell March home in the 70s. We sell Parafinalia. Oh. Well, this is great. Thanks guys. Wait, what about their dates?

No one cares about them. February I got Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, D.C., Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston. It goes on and on. We get it, Sam. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it. Wait, what about their dates? No one cares about them. February, I got Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, DC, Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston. It goes on and on. We get it, Sam!

We get it! We're on the tour bus for this one. One is worth four million. Yeah, I'm doing a bus the whole run. He's doing a bus. Him, Gary Veeder, it's gonna be smelly and disgusting. Yeah, Portsmouth, Mahortland, Burlington, Montreal, Toronto. You're really going out like a beast, huh?

Yeah. That's what we're going out. I'm going to your city, basically, and if I'm not, I'll be on the phone with you. Oh, yeah. You're not playing games. Oh, you're doing Stand Up Live with Branson. I am, I am. Oh, that makes me happy. Where? I wanna be on the phone. You're not playing games. Oh, you're doing Stand Up Live with Branson.

I am, I am. Oh, that makes me happy. Where? I wanna go. Branson. Stand Up Live in Phoenix. Doing a couple nights to start off. That's a bus run, but we're starting there, and it's gonna be great. And samorail.com slash shows, or punchup.live slash samorail.

I'm embarrassed to say Mark Normans is dating a woman like three days. I know, ready, Norman? Wow, we like to work. You're taking it too light. Yeah, I'll be in NOLA, East Providence, the comedy connection. We're going back to clubs, Wilkes-Barre, Inglewood, Houston, Phoenix, Dallas, and Nashville at the Ryman, baby. Grand old opera. That's fucking awesome. Are you gonna film that? Maybe I

will. That's fucking awesome. Come on man. Just go on stage and open by going, fuck they bugatti. Hahaha. Probably like, whoa. Well that's going to be weird because he's going to do a guest set. No, he's opening. That's an amazing fucking venue. That's awesome. Thank you. Good job. Good publicist.

I'm here for you. If you complete this tour, you may edge out Todd Barry by the end of the year. Hahaha. Come on. I'm here for you. Tony Interlips. If you complete this tour, you may edge out Todd Barry by the end of the year. Come on. BodegaCatWhiskey.com from Bodega Cat. We're moving, we're at Peter Luger's right now, we're at Strip House. Whoa!

Strip House. Where else? That's my favorite. The seller, the other clubs that we won't name. Thank you, we won't. We're cruising with stuff. The Comedy Cellar, we love you for preparing this, we love you, Lynn.

We're at Danger Hills. We got a neon light going up there at the Comedy Cellar in the Vat Black too. That's gonna be sick. Yes, that's right. Come get a drink. I'm also wearing your merch. I love it. Yeah, it's a good color on you.

Because it hides the dog hair. That's my favorite color. Ah, smart. Ah, the dog hair. Did you hear that gizmo? Gizmo. Did you hear that? Did you give out free hoodies to all the guests today it's coming for you guys

we love you thank you good night A bit of Piva Rec you know the future's close I've had a little too much bourbon And Norman's talking shit about the fucking Pope And I get down in the same way Up on the roof like a cop's coming And naked Samuel is feeling dangerous I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way We might be true