We Might Be Drunk - Ep 55: Boulevardier with Joe DeRosa
Episode Date: December 27, 2021This episode is sponsored by Sheath Underwear. We're drinking Boulevardiers with Joe DeRosa today. https://www.joederosainfo.com/ The boulevardier cocktail is an alcoholic drink composed of whiskey, s...weet vermouth, and Campari. If you're in NYC stop by or order from Joey Roses tell em We Might Be Drunk sent ya http://joeyrosesnyc.com/ Mark Normand and Sam Morril can be seen on the road at a club near you. Visit MarkNormandComedy.com and SamMorril.com for more details! Join the Patreon for bonus episodes weekly and more bonus content: Patreon.com/WeMightBeDrunkPodW Send us emails WeMightBeDrunkPod@gmail.com Send us mail: Gotham Podcast Studio 39 West 38th Street, 10th Fl New York, NY 10018
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We might be drunk, we might be drunk, as long as we are hanging out, you know we might be drunk.
Raise a glass, let's talk shit, pep heaps, wrecks, and a bit, maybe drunk.
We might be drunk, yeah.
Hey, hey folks, here we are, we might be drunk, you know it, you love it, we're back. Is it the new year? It's a few days before the new year. All right, happy, folks. Here we are. We might be drunk. You know it. You love it.
We're back.
Is it the new year?
It's a few days before the new year. All right.
Happy new year.
We're backlogging here because some people are going on vacations.
What?
You're going upstate.
I know.
I'm working.
I just want to blame you.
You're going to resort.
I'm going to Milwaukee.
Improv.
But you're doing a vacation before, though.
Well, yeah.
I'm bummed you're not here.
Christmas in New York is like kind of, I'm a Jew and I'm still like, this is special.
I don't know.
Are you a Christmas guy, Joe?
Huge.
My favorite time of year.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
We should introduce you before.
A good friend.
One of my favorites.
Give it up for Joe DeRosa, guys.
The underrated.
Never got his due.
The cranky.
Curmudgeon.
I was going to say.
Wet blanket. you name it.
I think I've quoted one of your bits on here as saying it's one of my favorite jokes of all time where you said how you're adopted.
And people ask, do you ever try to find and meet your real parents?
And you go, no, I took the hint, actually.
That's one of the best jokes.
That's great.
Thanks, thanks.
One of the only tight jokes I've ever written.
Yeah, it didn't sound like it.
I'm usually up there rambling about something.
Thank you, sir.
What do we got today, Beer Jew?
Today we have pretty much a classic, the Boulevardier.
Very nice.
Very similar to a Negroni, just with whiskey.
But legend has it that it came before the Negroni.
From Paris.
Oh, okay.
American writer in Paris.
Is this sweet vermouth
uh whiskey and campari absolutely okay smells good for the for the people at home this is a
big moment because joe rarely drinks you once cursed me out two straight years for leaving
your birthday party i was leaving your birthday party and it was like 3 a.m and you were like
you fucking piece of shit.
I was like, Joe.
It's like a Monday.
I might need to look into this because I was just over at Barstool for doing KFC.
And he was like, you're a big drinker.
That was like he led with that.
He was like, not like accusatory or combative.
He just was like, you're a big drinker, right?
And all of my questions when I did ask the internet were like, you had to give up one of these which would it be and what
one of them was always booze or whatever and uh and then that's my intro here i don't know yeah
i like to i like to have a little sauce same we do too we got a show about it so you're in good
company i mean i get concerned when you start saying things like, ah, we're just going to have one. Don't worry about it.
I was like, what kind of drunk show is this?
Well, we might be drunk. Sometimes
we're drunk. Sometimes we're... Yeah, alright. Fair enough.
We're pros. We got shows tonight. You got
another pod to do, but we'll make it work. I got another pod
to do, then I can go right home. You're loading
up today. Yeah, there's
three pods today. Three pods.
We appreciate you squeezing. Please. I'm not
squeezing. I'm happy. I'm delighted to be here.
I thought you guys were going to be mad at me that I had to cancel last time.
No.
No.
I was all over.
We get it.
Everyone's busy.
This is really good, by the way.
Very good.
This is so good.
What's your name?
I'm Dan.
Dan.
It's great.
Beer Drew.
Great work, Dan.
Thank you.
We love him, man.
Yeah.
He's a pro.
Real mixologist.
Let's go back to what you said earlier about never got his due
Or all that
It's not bad
I'm a fan
No I was in the bathroom peeing and I was thinking about the two of you
And I was like
These are two guys I remember when they first came around
And I believe you both have
Lightning bolted past me
You guys are doing millions of views on YouTube You're kicking ass I believe you both have lightning bolted past me. Wow.
You guys are doing millions of views on YouTube.
You're kicking ass.
I remember meeting you.
You were, when I was like a brand new comic, you were one of the nicest people to me.
Consistently. Thank you.
You really were, you're a genuinely good dude.
I always liked you a lot.
I used to come and do that show that you and Harrison had.
That's right.
Times Square, yeah.
Yeah, well, you were always so humble.
And I assume it's the adoption.
I'll tell you where getting humble gets you.
Being humble gets you.
That's the way.
It's not the way to go.
Not the way.
You got to barrel around with your cock waving around.
You look at who's really successful and they're mostly terrible people.
Yeah.
They're mostly people who are not.
They're never like the aw shucks, know right i don't know but then you got david tell who thinks
he's the biggest hack and he's funnier than all of them yeah exactly i'm literally at the point
now where i'm when when somebody asks me what what is success to you it's like you know being
content and loving the people around i'm at that point of failure.
The podcast is doing great, though.
No, the podcast.
I'm joking around.
The podcast is doing great.
Both of my podcasts are doing really well,
which I'm very, very lucky about.
The clips with Sal Vulcano,
so it's Taste Buds is the name of the pod.
Taste Buds is the one with Sal, yeah.
Yeah, dude, the clips never fail to make me laugh. They're so good thanks there's i i it's such a how has no one come up with that as a it's so good so relatable then you sit there and you think about it well i actually like oreos
and you get into it now you want to listen to the whole ep yeah it's funny how vehement people get
in the comments the fans like people really really have some real. And in these times of like left versus right, men versus women,
all that shit, the politics, it's just nice
to veg out on some
cookie debates. That's the same thing Kevin
just said. Who's Kevin?
Kevin Clancy, Barstool. Oh, Clancy.
Literally the same exact thing he just said.
He said, I love the show because I feel like it's
a cure for the internet, what the internet
is now, because everybody's bitching about politics
and all this stuff.
Abortion.
You guys are arguing about Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.
That's all we want.
We don't break.
The recent one was you did Cherry Coke and Sal did root beer.
Yeah.
And Sam Roberts took Dr. Pepper.
Ooh.
I'm with you.
I think I go Cherry Coke in that one.
Cherry Coke.
What?
Root beer all day.
Really?
See, we're doing it right now. It's a hit. Root beer ranked lowest in the poll. What? Yeah. I think I go Cherry Coke in that one. Cherry Coke. What? Root beer all day. Really? See, we're doing it right now.
It's a hit.
Root beer ranked lowest in the poll.
What?
Yeah.
I grew up with root beer.
Root beer has got the float.
There you go.
That's big.
Big float.
You could do a float with Cherry Coke, though.
Yeah, I know.
Sal really tried to lean on that float argument.
Nobody gives a shit.
The float is out.
I agree.
The float is done.
Stand by me.
What the hell even?
When's the last time you had a root beer float?
It's not that good either.
It melts immediately.
It just starts to taste like creamy.
It's a fun idea.
Yeah.
It's like a s'more.
It's like, that's a fun idea, but it never really executes properly.
It crumbles.
It's a lot of work.
Yeah.
It's like eating ass.
On paper, it seems great.
And then.
There you go.
You're covered in brown stuff.
It's not like eating ass.
All right.
It tastes good.
I wanted to join in.
Now, there's a taste buds ass or balls I guess we've never licked balls
I'm an ass man myself as long as it's clean
it's your favorite
I don't mind an ass
I like it
it's got to be real
particular kind
it's not like pizza
you don't want a deep dish
I get it you want a deep dish.
I get it. You want a thin crust.
Yeah, certain foods, like, I can do, like, I can do cheap, like, Italian pizza, but I
can't, like, Chinese at this point has gotta be good for me.
If I'm on the road and there's Chinese food, I'm like, I'm not, I'm not trying.
I'm not trying Missouri Chinese.
Right, it's the worst thing for you.
It's just sugar and sauce and rice and all that shit.
See, here in the city, though.
But I love it.
And I live right near Chinatown.
So I go in there all the time and get, you know, the real deal shit.
Or as real deals get, the duck and all that stuff, which I love.
But I got to say, in the city, I love nothing more than, like, just the joints.
Like, I love the little takeouts
where you get like the classic spare ribs the big fat egg rolls oh yeah you know that's kind
of harder to find in some of the better spots you know in new york like i'm saying if you go
into chinatown to like some of the like more traditional spot that's american chinese is i
guess is what i'm getting that's what you like it's's like the Tex-Mex. I do love it.
Did you ever go to Wu Hop?
We were just talking about Wu Hop.
I know it's amazing.
There's a place on this block that's insane.
Yeah.
So Wu Hop is like the ultimate version of American Chinese.
It's all those classics, but they do it better than anybody.
Yeah.
What's your go-to order there?
I'm big on spare ribs and egg rolls. Spare ribs? I'm big on spare ribs and egg rolls.
Spare ribs?
I'm almost always spare ribs and egg rolls for me.
I always go that route.
And then I usually get like a General Tso's chicken.
Yeah.
That's a tough one to-
I mean, dude, that's like my Christmas Day order.
That's big.
What's the reason General Tso's and sesame?
The sesame's, right?
Sesame seeds.
Is that it?
And then General Tso's is spicy.
Those black peppers. Oh, those will get you. Yeah, those? Sesame seeds. Is that it? And then General Tso's is spicy. Those black peppers.
Oh, those are good.
Yeah, those are a motherfucker.
Yeah, they come out of nowhere.
Yeah, but that's the difference.
But, you know, the Chinese moved here and they were making their traditional food and nobody bought it.
And they added a bunch of sugar and sauce and then went through the roof because we're fat and stupid.
It's like that old Richard Jenney joke, how the French had the croissant and Americans did the croissan'wich.
Yes.
We put chocolate in it, cheese in it.
Yeah, we go hard.
I mean, the double down, the fucking, what's the sadness bowl?
Oh, the KFC thing.
How do you feel on fast food?
Love it.
Yeah.
It's my Achilles heel.
What are your top fast food spots?
I lose that heel if I keep eating it.
We went to, this is the saddest story.
We got drunk one night.
This is 20 years ago.
We got hammered one night.
I can't remember who we were with.
And we ended up at Penn Station at the KFC eating.
Oh, I remember that night.
You remember that?
I think I might.
Was I with you?
I might have been with you.
There was a good, God damn it, there was a, I miss the good old days.
There was a good old drinking clique.
Yes. It was you, Mark, Sam, me.
Soder.
Soder.
Nate.
Joe List.
Nate.
Nate.
Barcelona Bar was one of them.
Oh, God.
But that was like the core five.
I remember Nate, holy shit.
This is...
Talk about how times change, right?
Nate could only get spots
at the fucking world?
Yeah, the thing next to Broadway.
Yeah, at the world. So Nate would always be there
like, I got a fucking 11
o'clock at the world. Unpaid spot.
Unpaid spot. They were making
money. I mean, they were charging cover.
I mean, this is like a side. This guy's nominated for
a Grammy now. I know. It's like
wild, right? He was hilarious then. It's just like people don't recognize it, you know? know. It's wild. He was hilarious then.
It's just people don't recognize it.
Yeah, it's wild.
But the people at home, Broadway Comedy Club, it's still around, but it was a bit of a scam room.
They go, hey, we got Dave Chappelle here.
Oh, they're going to kill me.
One person said, we have Tina Fey here.
I'm like, she doesn't do stand-up.
This is who you're pitching?
We got Richard Pryor here.
On the wall, there's a mural it's
horrible it's still around but they would bark you in fake alcohol whoa oh we're gonna get sued
here well oh should we not be saying this well we'll beep the name well wait not not fake but
it was like it was like that syrup or some shit it was that corn based stuff that like you could
sell if you didn't have a liquor license right because, because it was near a school. So I think, yeah, it's not.
I'm not allowed near those.
Eastville used to do that.
Did Broadway do that too?
They had. Eastville, the original Eastville before they got their license did that.
Then they got their license.
Oh, wow.
What they did, it was like 12%.
You order vodka, but it had the alcohol content of wine, I think.
Right.
Because it was that, you know, 12% whatever.
But I got spat on at that club.
Damn. That's how spat on at that club. Damn.
That's how grungy that.
And to their credit, the waitresses there were so fucking cool that like they.
This guy.
I just heard a guy get up.
And I was like, oh, shit.
This guy's going to.
We were going back and forth.
He gets up and I hear him go.
And I was like, fuck.
Nails me right here.
All these sassy Hispanic waitresses barricade the stage for me.
And I'm just. I just just watched Chris Murphy walk me out.
Whoa.
Yeah, he was like, he's waiting for you.
So I'm going to walk you out.
He's a great guy.
Great guy.
First threesome I ever had was the only time I got spat on in Philly.
And then I had a threesome after the show.
It was a very different spitting story.
Yeah, these two girls were like, fuck that guy.
Come on, let's go drink.
And we went out drinking.
And we had a threesome.
What?
And then you spit on them.
And my cousin, yeah.
I remember my cousin goes, did you leave with those two chicks?
And I go, yeah.
And he goes, I got to start getting spit on.
Yeah, it was not a bad night.
But Broadway was Scott Moran.
You guys know Scott Moran?
Yeah, I love Moran.
Great guy.
He used to have that great web series that he did called –
What was it called?
Comedians?
The Comedy Mind or something.
They did a bunch.
Giannis did one.
Giannis Papas did one about getting shot.
Yeah.
And Phil Hanley did one on crowd work.
Oh, that's right.
Mine was at Broadway Comedy Club, most of the footage.
And the reason Scott was following me that night was because it was when my mom had just gotten over breast cancer gotten
through breast cancer and i was doing a lot of material about it so he goes i want to follow you
and document you talking about this like tragic thing that your mom went through and then like
now you're doing it on stage and i was like okay we got to we did the first show then we went to
broadway and during the set on broadway a drunk nurse started heckling me
and i lost my shit and i called her a stupid bitch and then i lost the crowd yep and then
that's what the show that's what the episode became about it was about like losing your shit
on stage and like it was brutal dude like he came back two weeks later and had me watch the footage
on camera and i was mortified and i was like i
shouldn't have done that like i was so embarrassed i was so embarrassed and i but it was this great
cathartic like people really liked the episode because they were like wow you really let us like
kind of see behind the curtain you know if you if you never snap on stage you're not doing bad
enough rooms that you're just doing a room if you never if you
never just like lose it at a person like michael richard's lawyer well yeah i don't mean like that
but i mean but you know if you never snap every once in a while i mean the amount of disrespect
that we oh i mean last night i did a show in new york and they're just like scree they're just
animals they're just the worst behaved crowd.
And you're like, of course we snap.
Our life used to be all that.
And then at some point you start weeding those shows out.
Yes.
But there's a period where your life is just disrespect show, disrespect show.
And like, of course you're going to break.
Yeah.
And it's not just from the audience.
It's from the owners, the bookers.
You get it from everybody.
It's brutal.
We can't pay tonight, but we have a panini on the house.
Well, that's what I, that's what I was used to say was that what people never understood was when you would flip at a heckler, which I don't know about you guys.
I don't do it much anymore because I'm just kind of like, I don't know, you get it out of your system eventually.
And like you start to learn how to navigate it a little better i guess or whatever
but like when i would flip at a heckler i would always say like you think that this is like
you and me it's not this is you this is me and 12 years of this right like you're not
this is a snowball effect you know so but i'm i got banned from the Laugh Factory in New York for a year because I flipped out so bad at an audience.
So that was on 42nd and 8th, right?
And then it became Times Square Arts Center.
Yes.
Horrible.
And then it became a haunted house.
Yes.
Which was less scary than Times Square Arts Center.
I remember when it became a haunted house, Mike Vecchio turned to me and goes, but then again, it always was.
There you go.
That's a better way to say it. And it was before it was a big it was a big multi-level multi-room
strip club and i think it was a porn house before all that yeah yeah so you why do you get banned
from that club let's hear it they would have this on saturday nights the room would just be
completely unpoliced and it was time square so god knows where this Motley crew was coming together from. Savages. But people just like literally on their feet screaming, like just a completely chaotic room through the entire show.
And I went on one night and that started happening.
And I just started going at all of them.
I was just like, fuck you all.
I hope you all fucking get AIDS and die in a car accident tonight.
You're all pieces of garbage.
You don't fucking deserve a show.
All this stuff.
Not the most clever.
It doesn't sound that bad.
You know?
You're sitting in the car with a jerk store called.
They're running out of you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I said that.
Yeah, yeah.
And I got banned.
I got banned for looking.
Wow.
That's it?
Mm-hmm.
Damn.
Yeah, the booker at the time said, I don't think you can handle this room, and I don't
think you're right for it, and I don't think it's good that you flip out the way you do,
and blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I guess it was probably the third time that it happened.
That was just your set list.
Yeah.
Man.
I mean, you're just like, you're going on stage waiting for it.
You're watching.
There's nothing worse when you're watching the show.
It's like a firing squad.
You're awaiting execution.
You are watching it happen to everybody.
And then you're like, God damn it.
I had a horrible experience at that club.
I was like a really young comic.
And I remember I waited all night to do a check spot.
And it was me and another comic waiting to do a check spot.
And he said, we only have room for one of those you don't know you're literally going on stage as people pay their bill so it's the worst time to go on whatever but i i go on i i say he's like
oh wait we only have room for one of you oh and the other guy starts crying he's like all right
you can go on what because he didn't want to deal with the guy crying so i was like this is bullshit yeah so i remember just waited like three hours for it was
like one of those you're like oh my this is who wasn't the i don't want to say okay we know him
yeah yeah but that's all i wanted to know there's somebody we know
and i was like can't wait for these mics
but excited yeah it was yeah i don't want to why was he crying because he was i think he was just broken
like it's shit like that like every night when you're young comic and like i don't even blame
him i just thought it was fucked up like that's why you're picking him i got yeah oh oh wait he
picked him because he cried oh i thought he was saying he picked you like this kid's crying get
out of here no i think he didn't want to deal oh i misunderstood i thought you got it
i was like shit hey oh that sucks did you watch the guy's set no i was i i no i no i think he
he was like he like cheered up a little bit i was like oh fuck it but i know i got out of there i
was like fucked i never went back i was like that's insane it's crazy gary veder i think it might have been nate no no no i'm not gonna say it was
but i can't like believe the reverence and fear i used to have for these rooms same like same of
like worried about every little thing now i'm just like hey you want to just come you want to just go
on with me who gives a shit like you know what i mean like it's like who cares but you had to to want to do it you had to go uh and that's how
they got you they go you can't handle this room and you go oh i guess i gotta learn how to shit
on people and crowd work and all that but that's not what what comedy should be it should be great
ideas and bits and original but that was part of it was learning how to babysit yeah and that's
fear is good i mean when you see people with not any fear coming up.
That's true too.
You're kind of like, well, you should be a little scared.
Maybe a little both.
That is your life.
Yeah.
A healthy balance.
A healthy balance.
There you go.
People are used to, fear is a good thing.
People are used to, people think bombing is like not a big deal.
That's why it's weird when I see like, I'll see Instagram posts from new comics and they're
like, I was disrespected by this audience member.
And you're like, oh yeah, you're posting posting about that i thought that was a part of it like
that was like the first 10 years of my occupation yeah it's and it's so funny like the the shift in
of that because it's like now it's like yeah i was disrespected by this all right but it used to be
like watch this stupid cunt get owned. Yeah. You know, like.
Yeah, you have some drunk guy yelling at you and like you would just walk all over him.
The place is going crazy.
Yeah. Like cheering.
That was the clip you posted.
That was the clip.
I mean, it made Bill Burr famous.
The thing.
It was him winning.
But also the, also it was him surviving.
Surviving.
The crowd was hostile and Burr just was like, fuck you.
But the famous clip is the Bill Hicks one where he's just screaming at that woman.
And I think a lot.
So he's just calling this woman a cunt.
And you're just like, you watch it now and you're like, it's not his finest moment.
I don't know why everyone's.
And you see comics who watch that clip and they're like, I'm going to have my moment like that.
Yes, yes.
And you're like, you don't want to have that moment.
No, no.
I 1,000% did that.
Yeah.
Really?
I swear to you.
I 1,000% thought that that kind of thing was so cool and so great. want to have that moment no no a thousand percent did that yeah really i swear to you i a thousand
percent thought that that kind of thing was so cool and so great which is why i would flip out
the way i did i was also an angry guy um you think you're less angry now much oh yeah look at him
yeah much you were shaken before yeah yeah keyed up i was ready to go you're on edge yeah you are you are you a tense guy
well the adoption it's the last time i'll bring up the adoption i don't care it's funny all right
tense um yeah i'm anxious yeah you know but usually i'm i'm able to navigate it a lot better
than it used to be. You get older.
Yeah, you get older.
You get better at not taking things personally.
Yeah.
You get better at saying, I don't want that part of me to come out anymore, you know,
unless absolutely necessary, which it rarely is.
And it was just a lot of that.
It also, too, has a lot to do with self-worth and not letting things define your worth.
I'm kind of on a kick where I keep talking about this.
But the second during the lockdown, the second I realized I wasn't valued because of comedy, I was just a person doing comedy amongst other things.
That was a big moment for me.
that was a big moment for me and it was hard because it was it was it was two to three months first of utter anger and fury and depression that i had moved back to new york to do comedy and then
comedy was gone and at that point we didn't know what the fuck was going on yeah you know like it
was like and it was woe is me and my life sucks and i moved back for all this and then when i realized no idiot you move
back because you like to live in new york comedy's part of it but that's only part of it and then all
of a sudden it just everything changed wow and that was you because a lot of people went the
other way they went angrier and the world's against me and fuck you i'll kill you and you went
hey life is okay i'm not defined by this start a podcast
blaming the jews you know like this isn't the answer i had a bunch of road dates lined up
not a bunch but i had i had road dates lined up for that like you know sort of coming out of it
phase that we were all in and like when it went in june-ish july whatever it was of that first
yeah when they were canceling
it like week to week and we kept thinking this pandemic wasn't gonna go away yeah yeah it was
gonna go away i mean i had road dates let up and i had a tv thing lined up and i canceled all of it
and pissed some people off but i was like i'm sorry guys like i'm not doing this right now
like i don't i don't know it was weird it was it was weird to go from a six in a six month
period to go from saying i have to do every single thing that gets offered to me and being a complete
slave to it to going sorry guys not now like yeah and feeling like very comfortable now we get it
this is our third time asking you to come on sorry i can't do it right now but no you're right there's a value in saying no like sometimes we
just we are so trained to be agreeable and just like dogs for these people you know ball team
player when the pandemic hit i didn't realize how much we were on our foot was on the gas
100 for years and then when the pandemic i was like whoa wow i didn't realize like
you could you can stop for a second.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing.
To go back to what we were talking about earlier, when I was saying the reverence and fear that we had with these clubs, I agree.
Fear can be a great motivator.
And being scared and anxious can keep you on your toes. I think that's good.
And it helps you criticize yourself and whatever.
and I think that's good and it helps you criticize yourself and whatever
but I think more what I was referring
to was the fact that
after this pandemic
I guess it's still happening but like after that
lockdown I should say we were
I won't go back
yeah like a lot of I was just like
I can't believe I let
so and so make me
feel like
they were valuable like in some way in my life like what the fuck
i've spent way too many hours in the shower going that fucking guy i'll tell you and then he's quit
comedy since then i wasted all those hours you know thinking about him in the shower i remember
till the day i moved to la i was furious the comic strip wouldn't book me Furious Furious
I got to LA I started writing for TV
I started acting on major TV shows
Whatever it was
Better Call Saul
You're great in that show dude
That's a great show
Well you know I'm good by how they bring me back once every 17 months
No I'm kidding
They're great guys
Vince Gilligan right Vince Gilligan and Peter months. No, I'm kidding. They're great guys. There's that bitterness we know. No, no, I'm just joking.
Vince Gilligan, right?
Vince Gilligan and Peter.
Didn't he praise you on a show?
He's great. They're amazing.
I'm totally just joking.
No, I know, but he really was like, you were a great actor.
He's, thank you.
Do you remember him on Louie?
Louie, you killed it.
Thank you. That was fun.
Louie Gilligan.
Stick to acting.
Comedy.
Yeah, right?
No, Peter and Vince are really great guys.
Thomas Schnauz is one of the EPs.
He's amazing.
He's awesome, that guy.
Do you know him?
I just know him from Twitter, but he's just a-
He's great.
Yeah, yeah.
He's the funny best dude.
He's written on so many-
Didn't he write for Breaking Bad as well?
Yes.
He's written for like everything.
Yeah, he's got a great career and a great body of work.
And Jonathan Banks and Bob Odenkirk, they're all awesome and supportive over there.
It's so fun.
And it's so fun to get to be a part of something like that where you're not carrying any of the weight.
You know, it's fun to get to be like a Boba Fett character versus a Luke character where it's like, you better not fuck this up.
You're like, no, I just swoop into my scene and then I'm gone.
Jonathan Banks is most of your scenes, it was in the beginning it was all me and jonathan banks
and then it became all me and uh odin kirk so the last all right well i can't talk i can't say
anything more but yeah it's a lot of me and odin kirk but uh exciting but yeah he and he's great
because he has like you know we really got
we got to talking about stand-up comedy oh yeah underrated comic yeah he's a great Mr. Show with
Bob and David is like I mean for so much of of guys like us that was like our sketch comedy bible
talked all about that dude really it's incredible yeah he would be like, it would be cool because he'd get excited.
He'd be like, hey, man, did you do shows this weekend?
You know?
And I said to him once, I go, dude, you're such a good comic.
Like, why don't you fucking do stand-up anymore?
And he's like, I have too much respect for it to not do it seriously.
That's what he said.
That's good advice for you.
Yeah.
Trying to keep some yucks going here.
No, he's a legend man he's awesome and i can't like
say any of it for obvious reasons but like the last time i saw him i was like what are you working
on ah like you know off camera obviously and he was like oh man so and he told me like a couple
i was like fuck like if you were saying this to 18 year old me i would be like
shitting my pants of course like like he's really he's really fucking cool that's really funny too
yeah i mean that show that show was huge just just the fact that they would do whatever it was it was
just even when it was a miss you were like did they just fucking even the attempt you respected
yeah and it hit so often i mean and they were ballsy like if you watch it now you're like jesus christ i
can't believe they said that they had a whole episode about how slavery was uh like they should
be thanking us for slip we brought them here and you're like ah but at the time you're like this
is funny wild but they took risk like crazy bobo that That guy Jake Johnston from the Mr. Show was at the January 6th.
What?
Did you see that shit?
Wait, what?
Pull it up, dude.
Pull up the picture.
Jake Johnston, the Capitol.
I'm not making this shit up.
That guy's a great comic actor.
Wait a minute.
Was he there just to see what was happening?
I don't know.
Pull it up.
I think he got Pelosi's laptop.
Holy shit.
It's hard to recognize him without the paint.
But no.
He was the one in the Elk Hood or whatever.
Yeah, Jay Johnston.
Jay Johnston.
Jay Johnston.
He was there.
Yeah, look.
I mean, it does feel like a Mr. Show sketch, the whole thing.
You just see his picture.
There he is.
That certainly looks like him.
Handsome guy.
He is a handsome guy.
Good jaw.
Nice eyes.
I mean, could he...
Is he into this sort of thing?
I feel like we would have heard something.
I mean, he's there.
That can't be.
I don't buy it.
You don't buy it?
You just broke Joe's heart here.
I think he's there as a joke.
Ah, he looks pretty mad.
Well, that would be the joke, though, right?
Okay.
I don't know, but here's the thing.
No one knew what this was going to turn into, Joe.
I mean, I don't think he was there as a joke.
I mean...
Woo!
I heard that he was there.
It also could just be a guy that looks like him.
I don't think so.
Oh, God.
There it is.
There we go.
All right, we got to move it along here.
This is getting awkward.
Wow.
Anyway.
Yeah, but Jonathan, it's so cool about Banks and Odenkirk is that they're kind of like journeymen who became stars.
Yes.
Banks is the greatest guy ever.
The last time I saw Jonathan, I told him, and I meant it very much.
I told him that I learned more about acting from working in a scene with him than I'd learned in any class I ever took.
Damn.
And it was true because the guys you know they always talk
about act with your eyes or whatever the guy's just like you look into his eyes and it's just
there's a lot going on you know yeah and it's in tip he's and that character is so intimidating
so like you do scenes with him and he's like so just like he's he's in it man he's awesome he's
fucking awesome and he's like he's really like an empowering guy where he'll be like, like, I remember
the second time I was ever there, he was like, let's go run lines.
We were running lines in his trailer.
And he was like, he goes, listen to me.
You're fucking good.
So if you need another take today, you fucking ask for another take.
Don't feel scared.
Right.
Like he was like, really like, wow, you belong here kind of stuff.
You know, like that helps fucking huge.
It was a long way.
Jesus.
Huge.
We're freaking out on that sale.
I know I am.
I was having a goddamn shit.
I was like trembling the first day, dude.
I was terrified.
It's Odenkirk.
It's Better Call Saul.
Yeah.
Gilligan.
It's way out of our league.
Yeah.
So that's.
Anyway.
Acting class helps because I've been told you got to take an acting class.
And I go, ah, it takes up your Saturday or whatever.
And I just blew it all off.
I don't think any of it matters anymore because I think like I think it's all just sort of.
Stunt casting.
Thank you, Beard Jew.
Thank you, buddy.
Nice work.
Killed it.
Great.
Yeah.
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The uh...
Does he just come in to do this? Comes in and makes it
and he leaves. How do you...
What do you pay this guy to do this?
Give him a couple bucks. Yeah? That's great.
Nice guy. You want to borrow him? Before his shift, yeah.
He can make a milkshake for
Chase, bud. Shit, I should ask him, is he looking for work?
I need, we need bartenders at the bar.
Oh, he's good. I think he's got a gig, but he's very good.
I mean, you taste this shit, dude. Yeah, it's great.
I mean, the garnish in a studio, come on.
This is a little fancy for Joey Roses.
Really? But I mean, if you can do this,
he can do what we're doing.
You want a little Jack.
We're like a shot beer kind of bar, you know what I mean? And you do sandwich, like the sandwiches are canned at Joey Rose's.
Let's hear about that.
You opened a bar.
You opened a restaurant.
I mean, this is terrifying in New York.
Speaking of shitting on set, this is a big deal.
It's a bar with sandwiches.'s a bar with sandwiches it's a sandwich shopping bar so
we have that you know we were doing the pop-up at the stand for all uh most of the lockdown and
everything uh for takeout only obviously and then um we you know paul italia my partner and i started
to realize like hey this people seem to like it it have some legs. So, let's try to open a spot.
And we found an affordable spot because of the rent drop and everything.
And that's it.
Like here we are.
We're now in the East Village.
174 Rivington Street.
There you go.
Check it out, folks.
What's the – what are like the go-to sandwiches?
What's your favorite?
Right now, we just have the original eight sandwiches.
So, I like all of them. But like, you know,
people love the Fat Kid, which is a triple
decker peanut butter jelly with ruffled potato
chips on it.
People love
the
Eastie, which is prosciutto,
salami, olive oil, Asiago
cheese, and sweet pepadews.
It's
a nice little neighborhood-y style menu.
Eight sandwiches, eight bucks a piece.
There you go.
Yeah, this is-
Were you a sandwich guy?
I never-
Love sandwiches.
Oh, okay.
Who's not a sandwich guy?
I don't love them.
What?
I'm joking.
But-
Yeah, our website, this is an older, this is a dead page, but if you go to JoeyRose'sNYC.com-
NYC, that's how they get you
joey oh this is oh there we go okay there we go order online okay the online is going to save you
the takeout is what keeps everything in business now it bugs me man i you know it bugs me though
when you go like i hate going to starbucks but sometimes you're in a rush and i go and everyone's
ordering by their phone that's right so they take fucking 20 minutes to get an egg sandwich i'm like
i'm here for the egg sandwich because i'm in a rush exactly same
with the chipotle there's eight online orders oh i don't care for the name a little offensive
yeah i'm waiting to get canceled for it that one's the dad on the bottom right that's like
an italian style oh that looks amazing mortadella ca Cappy Ham, and salami. Wow. But, you know, it was, excuse me, it was a thing I always wanted to do.
Paul helped me turn it into a reality.
We partnered up.
And, you know, as we went along and got closer to opening this place, the more relevant it felt to us because we were like,
when's the last time the Lower East Side has had a place with affordable great food and like drinks.
Yes.
That you can afford to buy.
Yes.
And you know what I mean?
We've got some higher end stuff but we've got a lot of really affordable stuff too.
It was like the whole idea was let's give something back.
Yeah.
To the Lower East Side.
And the whole place is old school feeling and you know.
I love it.
There's a picture of it there.
The Lower East Side needs a little of that because it's getting real she-she down there it is yeah so the whole place is like kind of old
school social club look at that sign you can't beat that sign oh that's beautiful man that's
like good fellas yeah you guys got to come down man i'm gonna come i love it let's do it i can't
wait i'm in a huge i'm assuming you guys are working on new year's eve but we're doing i think
i'm taking off all right well we're doing we're going hard on new year's eve we're going to party what by the way can we
get can we do that taste test by the way now matt can we do that we got something because joe is
you're basically like a food expert now i feel like with the podcast we got to try
this looked weird and we wanted all to try it so let's let's do it we're on it very exciting
all right we argued mac and cheese with Joe List.
Oh, what do you think?
He loves mac and cheese, doesn't he?
Well, he eats like a special needs eight-year-old.
I mean, it's only pizza, hot dog, burger.
He can't touch a vegetable.
Craziest sentence I've ever heard in my life regarding food.
Joe List said to me in a text, I eat chicken parmesan almost once a day.
Wow.
Let's do it.
I was like, dude, that is insane. That's insane.
That's insane. It's him and Al Capone
maybe. You know, who else would like that?
This is it right here.
What do you got here? I've heard of this.
I can't. Is it regular dairy
ice cream? It's mac and cheese
ice cream. I have a dairy
thing. I might be able to take like the tiny ice cream it's mac and cheese ice cream i can't have it i have a dairy thing yeah one minute i
might be able to take like the tiny spit it out like uh like tobacco god this stuff looks so
disgusting i've heard of it i've seen it and cheese ice cream how could it possibly be good
oh we're passing this thing around like a stripper in vegas hank tight here we go i can't tell if i
like it it's kind of not awful it's better than I thought it would be.
Kraft mac and cheese, by the way.
So they went real trash.
It's not horrible.
Woo.
That's cheesy.
It is?
That's not bad.
Ah, two bites and I'm out.
Yeah, well, I mean, that's what it's for.
It tastes just like it.
It's almost better because you're not going to go through a whole carton of ice cream. Good point. That's pretty good.
He can't do it.
Let me get one more for the road.
I'll take one more too. I liked it.
Great nails.
You gotta swallow it.
Spit it in the cup. In the ice.
With the ice.
Oh yeah. That's not bad. Not bad. I the ice. With the ice. Oh, yeah.
That's not bad.
Not bad.
I mean, it tastes just like it.
Oh, man.
That's good.
Better than the croissant witch.
Or what is it called?
That cookie.
I kind of like that.
Oh, my God.
It's the first thing I've ever tasted.
Come on.
You eat ass.
It's not normal.
It's not supposed to taste like that. I'm surprised. It's not normal. It's not supposed to taste like yule.
I'm surprised.
That's not bad.
Not bad.
They did a good job.
It's better than the breast milk ice cream, I'll tell you that.
Everybody's got to get kooky with the flavors now. Van Leeuwen is good, dude.
Oh, I go there once a week.
They're good.
They do good work.
There's two by my house.
You've had What's-Her-Faces, right?
Mary's?
Yeah, who's the lady?
Aunt Jemima.
Nah.
Mrs. Butterworth.
Janet's.
What the hell are they called?
Jenny's.
Jenny's.
Yeah, it's good.
I don't know Jenny's.
Oh, Mark.
Pull up Jenny's.
I don't know what Jenny's is.
Mark, it will change your life.
Jenny Craig?
No, it's J-E-N-Y, right?
Yeah. Uh-oh, what's this? No, it's J-E-N-Y, right? Yeah.
Uh-oh, what's this? Dude, it's unreal. Oh, God.
I'm a big ice cream cunt. Is that all
of your go-to dessert type thing
or no? What's that?
Ice cream if you're doing a dessert. No, because I
developed a dairy, sort of, slight
dairy intolerance with certain things, so I can't
really eat ice cream the way I used to. Was this
some Shark Tank nonsense? Dude, they're no joke. They got a
double chocolate like midnight black. It's called like blackout
midnight or something. Oh boy, what's in there? Dude, it is so fucking good.
It's like crazy. Really? They have an everything bagel ice cream that people love.
Wow. I'm listening. Yeah, people really love it. Everything
seasoning is a game changer. I bought a little I'm listening Yeah people People really love it Everything Dude that everything seasoning
Is a game changer
So Jenny sent
I bought a little can of that
Fucking amazing
Jenny sent me and Sal
Cases
Free cases of ice cream
Because they heard us debating
The everything bagel
Oh
So they sent it to us
Wait what was it
Who took which side
With the everything bagel
Sal was everything
I was cinnamon raisin
Cinnamon raisin
I got everything all day
Are you kidding me Yeah I think cinnamon raisin's king why king it's it got no versatility there it is blackout hold
on that looks like chocolate what's wow now what does a pint cost is it 48 it's like 12 bucks oh
my god 12 bucks pricey it's going up now a smoothie's 25 now that's pricey but i'm telling
you dude you're gonna taste where that extra money went.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
It's organic.
It's whole milk.
It's oat milk.
It's just stupid.
It's like, it's unreal.
Okay.
All right, Jenny, I'll give it a shot.
The cow was massaged while he was milked.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
Is there a store in the city?
They've got a-
Or is it all online?
Yeah, no, they've got something somewhere.
But you can buy this in supermarkets and stuff, I think.
Oh, okay, that's all I need.
I might go get some of that Dairy Free Ben and Jerry's later tonight.
Yeah, which one?
What's wrong with that?
Maybe the Chubby Hubby or the Cherry Garcia even.
Cherry Garcia is a fucking classic for a reason, dude.
Yeah.
Cherry ice cream, we need more of that.
It's just tough though, dude, because you want to eat the whole goddamn pint.
I know.
Dude, it is over half of your day's calories.
Do you guys read in Sapiens?
No, what is it?
Which I know is like, Sapiens is like the secret for men.
But Sapiens has a great piece about how when we eat ice cream, we go back to our monkey
ancestry where when you find something sweet back in the day, you just ate the shit out of it because there was nothing sweet. There was no ice cream. would go back to our monkey like ancestry where when you find something sweet back
in the day you just ate the shit out of it because there was nothing sweet you know there was no ice
cream there was no candy you found a strawberry so now we open a pint we want to eat the whole
thing because we're like we never might never see it again it's in our wiring really yeah yeah
jesus can't win sugar sugar is just fucking addictive it is i mean more than cocaine they say yeah yeah i mean it got they got a couple comics coke and sugar
you got robin williams you got sugar i've seen sugar get more comics than that coke yeah you
know robin williams didn't die from coke you know what i mean like good point yeah like i've seen
more comics die from sure you know there's plenty of guys out there where you go, how did he die?
And they were like, dude, his car was riddled with fast food bags.
Yeah.
He just died on the road.
I mean, Patrice, crazy.
Diabetes.
Right.
It happens.
Coke's at least hard to find.
Sugar's right there.
You know, you can't buy Coke at a Rite Aid.
You'd think you couldn't.
But, you know.
I guess the guy outside of writing.
Coke is like Republicans.
You think nobody is one until you start doing it.
And then you're like, oh, Jesus.
Everyone's in?
These guys are everywhere.
I've never done Coke in my life, dude.
Me neither.
I have.
It feels great.
But the comedown, Joe.
The comedown is the worst thing of all time.
But that also has a lot to do with if you're not doing good Coke.
If you do clean Coke, there's not a bad comedown day.
But most of the time.
All right, kids, if you're listening, just get the good stuff.
No, a Coke comedown, there's nothing worse than it.
Chocolate midnight cocaine.
But I get, like, I got to tell you, I get the come down blues now from a night of drinking, too.
Now?
I got that 10 years ago.
It's a nightmare.
That's why I cooled it on the booze, just because of the next day.
I get, like, God damn.
Oh, same.
The best thoughts come in.
We went to the Jets-Eagles game on Sunday, and we, big tailgate.
It was a blast.
Oh, wow.
Who'd you go with?
Did you go with Jay and all those guys?
I asked Jay.
Jay couldn't go.
He's a big Eagles guy.
But it was me.
And I went with Paul and Chris Italia and Adele from the stand.
Oh, yeah.
And we went out and this guy Tommy from Wyoming Whiskey was like sponsoring all things.
It was all this free barbecue, full open bar.
Oh, boy.
Full truck of beer and whatever.
We had a fucking blast.
Got shit-faced.
And then we all went to Joey Rose's afterwards. fucking blast got shit-faced and then we all went to the to the
to joey rose's after and that day shit-faced yeah and we continued into the night sure but like i
still was i mean i was asleep by 11 30 all right but i woke up the next day yesterday was my day
off and i was just like oh my god like you just you feel terrible i wasn't hung over i was just sad all day right but also it's
it's that but also like even if i get a good night's sleep it's not that quality sleep like
the booze just fucks your head up fucks you up big time you've been off for a while or not off
but like off not off but like hung over now well because the last time. But the last time I saw you, it was at the Patrice Benefit.
Was that the last?
No, that can't be the last time I saw you.
No, it was a year ago.
No, I've seen you before that.
No, we did the Patrice Benefit.
God, was that two years ago, Sam?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, well, the pandemic.
I remember seeing you there and being like, let's drink.
And you were like, I'm kind of just.
Yeah, well, I'm not going as hard as i did because i physically just i can't do the
road like that like i can't do more i'm down the road every week i can't do morning flights just
feeling like it's incredible that you guys are out there every week i i admire it i couldn't do it
i think you you do learn to love it honestly like you get to a point where you're like it becomes
routine enough that you're like yeah i mean i value those long sets man you know i love the long sets love
it it's the i hate the airport and flying it worse than anything i get into a i get into a rage
in the airport like i don't get into anywhere else in my life it's so unnecessary it's so regimented
group one group two yeah terminal b it's like yeah but that's so regimented. I hate it. Group one, group two. Yeah. Terminal B. It's like, ah.
Yeah, but that's because you do different airlines.
Yeah, maybe.
This is, you fly every week.
You got to stick with one airline.
No, wait.
If I flew every week, I would.
But Mark doesn't do that.
And I'm like, you miss out on all the status shit.
Maybe you're right.
But still, you got to still do security.
But do you have clear?
I do.
And you have pre-check.
I don't.
I have TSA pre-check.
I got to do pre-check. Are you kidding? I don't want I have TSA pre-check. I got to do pre-check.
I don't want to go to a meeting at the airport.
You don't have to.
You go to a little satellite office.
Yeah.
Oh, really?
They have offices downtown.
75 bucks.
Oh, really?
It changes your life.
There's a place in Midtown that does it.
The same place I had to go get fingerprinted to get approved for my liquor license also
does TSA pre-check.
Really?
Yeah.
They do a lot of stuff in that office
to help you get cool stuff
into your life. Yeah.
I have friends who are like, I don't want the government
to have my shit. I'm like, they already have it.
I don't care about that.
And also,
it just makes your life so much easier. Then you sit with one airline,
you get the lounge access. It's great.
Yeah, that's pretty good. What's in the lounge?
I've never been in one. Oh, lounge is a game changer. They've got've got a they've got a bar they've got coffee they've got food is it open
bar or just i don't think it's open bar it used to be they changed it up so the lounge is good
i always thought the lounge was just a private room that was like that was like the gate except
private it makes you not hate the airport you go in there you're like you got room there's no animals in here all right i can't i mean i get like i'm not i'm not exaggerating i get like dad in a
christmas story mad at the airport like where i'll literally be walking around cursing out loud to
myself right like i get i i fucking hate it so much it's a nightmare and we go there more than
anyone yeah so anyway but back to what we were
saying what were you can't do the road like that anymore is what you were saying yeah i mean there's
been many flights where you get up you're shaking you're hurting so bad you just want to kill
yourself and you're in the middle seat and it's too much with the hangover i mean we told this
during the pod but there was we did a gig with schumer once in florida and i remember puking in
the bathroom at the airport and mark just handing a ginger ale over the thing for me.
Yeah.
I mean, that's where we were at.
I mean –
It's a young man's game.
You kind of – there were too many like 7 a.m. nights.
I'm like, I can't write new jokes if I feel like this all the time.
I can't tour if I feel like this all the time.
So, it's like I don't want to give up booze but you got to kind of make a – you're
like, I'm not going to go that hard because I can't.
I'm going – I'm going to start. I start going out again in January 2022.
In fact, Helium Buffalo, January 2022.
I'll be there.
Hasbro Kites, Bananas.
Nice.
February, I think March or April, Punchline Philly.
I'm basically going to do one weekend a month through 2022 just to kind of get back out,
polish off the hour whatever but youtube special would be a huge thing that's what i'm gonna do all right i'm gonna do a
youtube special put it on the no press channel with taste buds and oh i love it yeah but but um
well you guys listen man you guys really i think opened or helped open the door to doing that.
It's like, look what you guys did.
They were doing it before us.
Well, of course.
But I felt like you, you two, Shane and Joe List were the four that I saw where I was like, OK, this is possible.
Oh, we don't have to ask permission anymore.
Like, you can do this
like it's a waste of time to ask for permission you know because what happens is they don't just
reject you they sit on it and reject you after like three months so you're like that's true so
it's like if they just said no that week i'd be like all right right but they fucking make you
you're like i'm working on shit the whole time i'm now i'm now
sick of the material good point so we're all about turning over let's go let's go we got a lot of new
shit yeah imagine if dating was like that you know hey you want to go out for a drink maybe
and then you're like i'm getting laid trust me in three months i'll get laid no let's get to it
this girl this new girl she's named hulu she's's awesome. Dude, no, it's infuriating.
So you just, it's, they've lost a lot of power.
I mean, they really have lost a lot of power.
You got that right.
Because then you see some of the shit they do make and you're like, well, enjoy that
fucking awful special.
Enjoy making dog shit.
It's a bad combo.
You know?
Doozies out there right now.
And closed off. So many of the best comics are on youtube right now
yeah it's it's they are though you're right the trick the trick is also i always say um
hey man if they're if they're willing to give you the money take it don't be stupid
right but realize they're gonna bury it yeah but don't take but don't think you need the money you
know what i mean like if they're willing to give it to you, great.
Take the money and get a nice payday and do your thing.
But don't make that the end goal because the trick is not just saying I'll do it on YouTube.
The trick is saying – the trick is understanding I don't need these other people.
Because I think a lot of guys look at it like, well, I could do it on YouTube, I guess.
But you know, what if?
And it's like, stop. Put the what if out of your fucking head do it that way make a mission statement make a plan
and just do it because it doesn't matter there's nothing it's going to be different but i don't i
don't see anyone blowing up off like an hbo special anymore no those coming that's what i'm saying i
mean it's it's really netflix or youtube at this point like you know amazon has buried some like – I think Eddie Pepitone's special was one of the funniest I've ever seen.
Hilarious.
And they just kind of didn't promote it properly.
And you're like, that dude deserves better.
He's such a great –
Yeah, Chad Daniels is on there.
Chad Daniels.
Eddie's first one was out independently first.
And then Amazon started streaming it.
So, that's a little different.
But the second one, I don't know.
Do you see their interface?
Every special looks exactly the same.
Well, the problem is that they also made that comedy dynamics deal.
Yeah.
And it's like, who turned me down for an hour, by the way.
Really?
And then I'm watching.
I'm on there and I'm like, what is this?
Yeah.
Like, guys, you're putting like open micers out with, I guess maybe they're shooting it
themselves and then.
That's what it is.
Whatever.
But like, but you know, it's's just like we don't need that stuff like i i it's better this and long term
it's better because you sell it to hbo and you make a payday but you'll make more money on the
road if you just keep with this youtube shit and you keep promoting elsewhere and all these social
media the problem is we're insecure we want the approval approval. We want the Netflix to tap you and go, we like you.
And you go, oh, okay.
This is pretty good.
Oh, I got 300 grand.
All right.
But it's not just that.
It's that if you're trying to get on shows to promote your special, HBO special still
sounds way better than YouTube special.
Especially if you're trying to get on some of these old school programs.
You're not going to get booked on whatever good day morning show yeah if they're like it's a youtube special if it's an hbo special they're like we're
listening which is probably why they don't tell you the numbers because you go hey i got eight
million on youtube but i got one million on hbo so but that's the thing like what you're talking
about the old programs it's like they don't do anything yeah you're better off posting it on
your instagram or your twitter whatever you're better off posting it on your instagram
or your twitter whatever you're promoting and that's going to get you what you need it's like
who the fuck goes i watch good morning america today and learned about this thing i'll watch
some of those shows i'll like cbs sunday morning on the background sometimes like i've discovered
some people really sure yeah sure who dog act? What are we talking?
Who's on Good Morning America?
I was on it once.
Wow.
I mean, all right.
I mean, like, on hour three.
I'm not bragging.
But I was on at the end.
But no, I mean.
Good Morning America.
What are we?
Who's on there?
I mean, it's a big show, dude.
That does good numbers.
But it's like Kelly Clarkson.
CBS Sunday Morning is like six million viewers.
Really?
Yeah, dude. Sure. It's got viewers. Absolutely. But it's like kelly clark cbs sunday morning is like six million viewers really yeah dude sure it's got viewers absolutely but it's like doing it's it's like if you did rogan once
it doesn't mean anything it's like if you did the tonight show with carson once it doesn't
everybody makes it i think that meant something i think well carson one steve martin says the
opposite in his book he's like he's like a lot of guys say like, oh, I did Carson once and it changed my life.
He goes, I did it 16 times.
People still don't know who I was.
Whoa.
You don't hear that story.
Yeah.
So like or however many times.
But it was a lot.
But anyway, my point is like the chances are you could go on the biggest platform.
You could perform stand up on New Year's Eve ball drop on nbc on the dick clark
countdown whatever the fuck it's called you know some whatever the most watched program of the year
and it doesn't matter it's like it's like it's it's most of the time it's consistency most of
the guys that popped off of rogan for example are guys that went on multiple times in a concentrated
where you see burke kreischer's
like work ethic and it's like he's calling in every show he's done doing every i mean you're
right it's not just rogan it's everything so right by the way that fucking ball drop like that's
people that go to that time square they're escape mental patients even this year you know it's going
to be pomp like it's gonna be packed oh yeah it's what the fuck is wrong with people? Why is that a thing? There's no bathroom. They wear diapers.
It's wild. It's so crazy.
I don't understand who thinks that's
fun. It's people in Cleveland.
They like it.
I'd rather be in Cleveland.
I would too, actually.
I can't. I don't care. I used to do...
I mean, you guys used to do this too, right? Did you ever do
Caroline's on New Year's Eve? Oh, we did it.
I don't think I did do it. Oh, really?
I think I did it all the time.
And for whatever reason, I never did New Year's.
But I've done bad ones.
I've done New York rooms on New Year's.
No, no.
Caroline's was great.
It was fun.
We did it with Wolf, Soder.
Oh, wow.
We got Peter.
We got Hammer.
We paid like a stupid amount of money.
And you get a ticket to go see the ball.
Like you could walk in and out.
You didn't have to just stay there.
It was great.
I think it was like you did like back in – I don't know if it's still this, but back in the day, it was like you did like two 11-minute sets or whatever.
Yeah.
It was like $500 per set.
It should be.
It was like –
It's not even that – how much they're making.
That's like nothing.
I know.
It was like you gave me like $1,100 for basically 20 minutes of work you open bar all day and then
they take you to the roof and you'd watch the ball drop safely with a police escort from the roof
i've got a girl to that it was a game changer yeah i was in yeah that was fun back in the day
oh it was the best that was a fun hang i had some fun nights there, dude. Oh, yeah. Open for some, back in the day, I would open for like, they hooked it up.
Samantha Bayou was, she was awesome.
She was great.
Yeah.
It was like Gilbert Gottfried.
I opened for all kinds of comics there.
Oh, my God.
Joel McHale, J.B. Smooth.
Jezelnik, I remember.
Jim Jeffries.
Yes.
Yeah.
All those fun weeks.
Jim was like the most fun guy to hang out with.
Yeah.
Jim was fun.
Yeah. Those guys, I used to hang out with Jim there. I guy to hang out with yeah jim was fun yeah those guys i used
to hang out with jim there i used to hang out with uh glenn wool there i used to hang out with
um i used to open for patten all the time there wow um uh um kevin pollock damn he's i bet he's
a cool dude he's the best really great guy really great good yeah didn't you do his podcast i did yeah nice
guy yeah he just shit on me for an hour but it was really yeah he's fun he's like a ball breaker
yeah he's fun oh no he's a fun fucking i like kevin a lot usual suspects i mean that's like
how many comics do you see in those types of roles it's pretty cool i know and he would he's one of
those guys too he'll tell you every story yes you'll be like you work with lemon and math now
and he's like oh yeah story like you're like that be like, you worked with Lemon and Matthau? And he's like, oh yeah.
You're like, that's good.
Lemon and Matthau. I know.
Larry David did Kevin Pollack's podcast
and Larry David's like, you're good. You're like a great
interviewer. And he's like, thank you. Wow.
I'm such an LD fan that I was like,
wow, he's blowing Pollack.
Dude, that's, those old Lemon
and Matthau movies,
I'm just, I can't believe I'm this late to the Criterion
channel, but I've been just cruising through shit.
I mean, they've got so many.
The Apartment is such a great movie.
It's on there.
Yeah.
So many classic movies.
Yeah.
Is that a Wilder?
Yeah.
Fucking Billy Wilder, bro.
I think that was Best Picture.
It's incredible.
Jack Lemmon was the man.
He was the man.
Arguably the greatest American actor.
Whoa.
Dude, is it the hero?
Brando?
Brando?
Listen, I'm not taking anything away from any of those guys.
No, no, it's arguable.
That's fair.
That's what I'm saying, arguably.
He's got range.
Daniel Day?
Daniel Day's not American.
Meryl Streep?
He's not.
Not so good of an actor either.
I didn't know that.
You didn't?
No.
Daniel Day's like Scottish or something.
But he doesn't do like, no, I think he's Scottish or Irish.
He doesn't do interviews.
That's why he's – or very few at least.
Well, what about Hoffman?
Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Great.
Listen, these are all great.
Yeah, no.
He said arguable.
Yeah.
Arguable.
I'm arguing.
Jack Lemmon.
Dude, do you ever see the Glenn Gary Glenn Ross with him?
It's so good, too.
I just bought the 4K Shot Factory version.
Isn't it great?
On Cyber Monday.
I got a deal on it.
What a downer of a movie, but still.
Best movie.
It's my second favorite movie of all time.
What's your first?
Hannah and Her Sisters.
Wow.
Good movie.
One Woody Allen.
We just talked about Thanksgiving movies, and that's kind of a Thanksgiving movie, right?
Yes.
Begins and ends on Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
That's right. Yeah. That's a great. and that's kind of a Thanksgiving movie, right? Yes. Begins and ends on Thanksgiving.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's a great – so that's not – that's your favorite movie?
It's the most insightful movie I've ever seen.
Dang. Because of Woody Allen's attempted suicide and his new found –
It's everybody.
It's everybody.
Like the inner monologues of every character that they play throughout that movie are just
like holy shit.
Yeah. I felt holy shit. Yeah.
I felt like that.
There's a scene, the one that rocks me the worst is, or the most is,
there's a scene where Diane Wiest and Carrie Fisher are competing
to hook up with the same guy.
Sam Watterson.
Sam Watterson, yeah.
Yeah.
And Carrie Fisher edges Diane Wiest out and like,
it's that classic thing where that happens to you with a friend and you're like
yeah they're always doing their fucking cute
shit and like you're so
you're like I'm more worthwhile what the fuck
you know and she's in the back of the
cab and just
the way she's going through it in her head
as they're driving to drop her off
and she's just like
she's always acting so cute
but she doesn't know anything about that and then she just goes oh what the hell it wouldn't have
worked out anyway i'll just take an extra volume tonight and get into bed and watch you and you're
like how many times you felt like that we were like oh fuck it i'm better off like i'll just
i'll have a couple extra drinks i'll it's so- So relatable. Oh my God, dude.
It's heartbreaking.
It's so realistic.
I love Diane Weiss so much.
I mean, she's-
She's amazing.
She's always incredible, especially the Woody Allen movies.
But when I was a kid, by the way, I used to play in the park and she would be there with
her kid.
Really?
My mom's like, you would always be playing.
Diane Weiss was always just playing with you as a little kid.
That's amazing.
Dude, she's such a legend.
I mean, Bullets over broadway she's like
yes that movie another thing about that movie is michael cain just like i why did i fuck why what
was it worth like that's cheating that's what cheating is yeah that whole thing like he's
obsessed with the sister they have the affair then the whole thing about everybody resents hannah
because she's never she's always the one that's like the pillar for everybody.
And everybody's like, don't you get tired of being so perfect all the time?
Like, it's just an earth-shattering film, man.
Heavy stuff.
And hilarious.
And hilarious.
And the parents.
The way the parents fight when they're singing and the mom's like a drunken flirt, you know.
It's probably the best Woody Allen.
Really? I'd say it is. It's probably the best Woody Allen. Really?
I'd say it is.
It's in the combo.
It's funny.
Yeah.
And the funniest Woody Allen joke when he goes, she goes, it's not cancer.
He's Julie, what's her face from The Simpsons?
This is-
Klausner.
Yeah.
Partner or whatever she is.
Marge.
Yeah.
Oh, homie.
And she goes, it's not cancer.
Or she goes, what are you worried?
It's cancer?
And he goes, don't say that word.
And she goes, it's not.
Or you think she has a brain tumor.
Yeah.
It's not a brain tumor.
The doctor just said it's probably not a brain tumor.
And he's like, they have to say that or else the weak ones might panic.
Wow.
Also, not to mention one of the best movie soundtracks ever i've heard that song
before the bobby short i'm in love again like beautiful music in that yeah really beautiful
yeah yeah bewitched bothered and bewildered elephant gerald fuck yeah heavy shit there you
go good stuff i'm with you i love that movie what was80s? Yeah. It's like 86 or something, 85.
I mean, it's right in the, that's like peak.
Peak Woody.
He was in the fucking zone. He was rolling.
He was like Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Manhattan.
Another great home.
Not too long after Manhattan.
Yeah.
Like he's like in the fucking groove right then.
Oh, yeah.
But yeah, Criterion, I just actually hit up, Barnes & Noble did the Black Friday, Cyber
Monday Criterion 50% off sale.
So, I just bought like literally, I'm not even kidding, like I don't know, 15 or 20 Criterion Blu-rays.
Do you still watch DVDs?
Oh, I still collect.
Yeah, I collect a lot of movies.
Yeah, that guy.
Yeah, I collect video games and movies.
Really?
Yeah, and music too. What movies did Really? Yeah, and music, too.
What movies did you have to have for Criterion?
I got a bunch.
I got Videodrome, which is an amazing James Woods.
I don't know it.
David Cronenberg movie.
Oh, wild.
Cronenberg's a beast, yeah.
It's a wild movie.
It's wild.
It's one of his really early ones right it's one of the earlier
earlier cronenbergs not super early um so i got that i got nightmare alley which is an old film
remaking it with bradley cooper it looks good really yeah oh it's guillermo del toro i think
yeah it looks dude it looks fucking visually insane it looks great it looks great are you a
horror guy? Huge.
I can see that.
What are your go-to?
I don't know a ton about horror.
I hate horror.
It's not my go-to genre, but if there's a good...
Like, Dana Gould told me to watch The Thing, and I was like, that's an incredible movie.
Really?
So, okay.
So, The Thing is a masterpiece.
Yeah.
Dana Gould...
Okay.
So, I'm friends with Dana, but I'm really good friends with his girlfriend.
Okay? Yeah. Kat. Yeah. Yeah. yeah dana gold okay so dan i'm friends with dana but i'm i love him really good friends with his girlfriend okay yeah cat yeah yeah and so i called cat one day to catch up and she was with dana and she put me on speaker and dana's like hey man how you doing i'm like hey
and i go i have a bone to pick with you this is one of the only people I could ever say this to. And he's like, what is it?
And I go, I was watching Eli Roth's History of Horror.
And he's like, uh-huh.
And I was like, well, you were on the Creature Features episode.
Or the Monster Movies episode.
Yeah, yeah.
And he goes, okay.
I remember this.
Yeah, and he goes, yeah, yeah.
And I go, you're talking about The Thing.
And he goes, yeah.
And I go, you called The Thing a monster movie.
And he's like, yeah. And I go go i consider it more of a creature feature and he goes you know what you're right and then cat goes what the hell is the difference and then he
just goes i don't have time to reteach you on all of this. Oh my God.
You can hear the vagina drying up from this conversation.
Jesus.
This is some nerds.
That's like a one of a kind.
It's like, who else could I have had that?
That's amazing.
What video games do you collect?
Sega Genesis?
Yeah, I have about 40 systems.
You feel like a Sega guy.
I have, I just got the new Atari.
Jesus! I got the
PS5. I got the Xbox Series
X. I got the Nintendo Switch. But then
I collect all the old systems. So I have
the Master System. I have the Sega Genesis.
I have the Sega Saturn. I have the Sega...
What does Master mean? Does that mean you can just play
any game? No, the Master System was
their thing that competed
with Nintendo. Ah oh i never heard of
it's called the seger master system what do you play the most i play a lot of atari i play a lot
of atari 2600 um what is on it what games well there's tons of games but like you know there's
a game called spider snake i mean where are we going here pong's on there but i don't really
fuck with pong uh spider fighter is a game I really like.
Frankenstein's Monster is a game I like quite a bit.
But I like the simplicity of the 2600.
Like, it takes you back.
And I still play, like, the new Call of Duty.
You're a simple man.
You like your Jack Daniels meat.
You like your sandwiches.
You like your Atari.
There's something about sitting there with a joystick with one button. That true these like archaic noises coming out of the tv and just
it's simple man you're right the fucking aliens like that's it like we're going back with apple
it's just one button it's a lot of simplicity yeah you're playing against yourself atari is
golf like you're playing against yourself that's it golf. Like, you're playing against yourself. That's it. Like, how good are you? That's great.
You're right.
Do you like, like, the modern systems?
What's a really good modern game?
I don't know a ton about video games.
The PS5 is insane.
Really?
I like the Xbox Series X.
I like both of them.
And I like the Switch, too.
But the PS5 is doing things with the controller that are just nuts.
Like what?
Does it shake?
Man, that's old
they added like i would assume it's like thousands of different vibrations into the controller
so every single thing that's happening in the game it's like a different vibration it just
really puts you into it and then this audio interface they have where some of the stuff
only comes out of the controller whoa and the other stuff comes out of the team so i'm playing a game called uh death loop right now and like yeah you're you're it's a first person
thing and it's on ps5 yeah and there's a woman that you're in communication with
who's basically like manipulating you and like taunting you as you're trying to bait you're trying to break this
death loop that you're in i call her claire yeah exactly well like her voice only comes out of the
controller so everything on the screen is happening and then she's and then it just feels like it's in
your ear it's weird whoa it's wild that's another level. Like mental fuck. Yeah. Holy shit. It's incredible what they're doing now, man.
Yeah.
I think Super Nintendo was a real moment in video.
That really, it was like Donkey Kong, Mario Kart, GoldenEye.
That really like.
And GoldenEye was N64.
Oh shit, sorry.
N64 was fucking, to me that was like the craziest shit ever.
That was big.
I was a perfect age for that.
Why?
Did we go long here on you?
Is it 320 already? Wow, that's what booze will do to you. All we do we go long here on you it's 320 already
wow that's what booze will do to you all right we'll get you out of here we'll get you out of
here should we do a shot before we go no we gotta do a patreon too we gotta pace ourselves okay all
right fair enough fair enough but uh you're welcome to do whatever you'd like you got jack
daniel's the good stuff norman you were doing i'll do a you want to do one? I'll do a halfie. All right. Fuck it, I'll do a halfie.
What the hell?
Oh, it's fucking noon.
God damn it.
All right.
This is what happens with this guy.
This is why you're out till 4 a.m.
Just pour a little in here.
We can take it in the cups.
Right now.
Get his shot glasses.
Matt's getting his shot glasses.
Oh, God.
You're an animal.
Joe's got one of my favorite jokes.
He used to say like, hey, I drink too much.
I eat like shit.
Ladies, stop fucking me.
I love that joke because it's such a good point.
You're like, they're still fucking me.
Why would I go to the gym?
Yeah.
Why would I ever get in shape?
Yeah.
Go light.
Go light for me, please.
Go light.
We got two more reps to do here, and I got shows tonight.
You're a good man.
I had a great time on here.
No, we love seeing you, dude.
And as you said, I don't see enough.
I mean, it's always a bummer.
I don't see enough.
I really would love you guys to come down to the bar.
I'm going to come.
Hang out one night.
I'm going to come.
Definitely be there.
That'd be fun.
I want to see him.
That dad looked amazing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And dude, plug whatever else.
I mean, you got Taste Buds with Salvo Cano.
You got the other podcast.
Yeah, yeah.
So, Taste Buds with Salvo Cano.
New episodes every Monday.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
New episodes every Monday.
Audio wherever you get it.
Full video on YouTube on the No Presh Network channel.
Hell yeah.
We'll see you in hell.
My horror review podcast.
I do it with my friend, Pat Walsh.
Oh, I like that guy. I've met him before. He's the best. He's so podcast. I do it with my friend, Pat Walsh. Oh, I like that guy.
I've met him before.
He's the best.
He's so funny.
I really like him.
So funny.
The back catalog is on Starborns Audio and wherever you get your podcasts.
New episodes are on Patreon at patreon.com slash W-S-Y-I-H podcast.
And then finally, Joey Rose's open now Wednesday through Sunday starting at 12 p.m. each day.
Full bar.
It looks amazing.
Eight sandwiches.
It does.
New food is coming.
And we have a lot of New York listeners.
So guys, go support Joe.
Can I bring up one thing before we do our plug here?
Just about the video games.
And this is a peeve I have with video games now.
I like the hang of the video games you play with your friends it's
like four person multiplayer psps is like done away with this you have to play people online
i i had to buy during the pandemic when i was living in la with taylor i had to we bought an
xbox to play co-op halo because we're like this is so fucking fun yeah but it's like most systems
you got to set up your email address this is such a fun i just
want to log on and play yes you can still you can still do that there is a lot of like with any new
device now they're going to get your info out of you right uh but but you can still do the couch
co-op stuff with with the newer systems but but again this is why i go back to like i love
calico vision and i love atari and i Intellivision because it's like you pull out the system, you pull out a stack of games like this high and you just fucking put games in.
Yes.
And it's just like, dude, we're just going back and forth.
We're playing Space Invaders.
We're playing fucking Astro Smash.
I do kind of miss blowing in the thing, right?
Yeah, yeah, totally.
There's something about it
the old stuff is nice like i i get this old beamer and i it's 1973 and i drove it around last night
for fun and i got out of it and i closed the door and i went to a restaurant and i came back i
noticed the door wasn't clicked all the way you know how you gotta close it and bump it sometimes
it wasn't clicked all the way and if that was another car a new car there would be a light on
like hey your door's not closed and that'll run down the battery now your battery's dead this
thing has nothing to do with the battery it's just metal on metal right and there's something
nice about that there is there is i had a 2002 jaguar before i left la wow jesus where'd that
come what are you my grandpa dude here's the thing it was i bought it
excuse me i already did my i bought it for 1500 cash wow it ran like a champ
and it was like people saw it and they were like look at this fucking car and they're like
yeah man there was like something to all that, you know? Pull up an old –
You know what I love about Joe?
He's like a real old timey – he's an old soul.
Old soul.
You really are an old soul.
Yes.
I feel like you guys are too though.
Yeah.
I mean, dude, we play jazz on here.
We're talking about Criterion movies.
I mean, we fucking – we relate to this very much.
Yeah, we like MILFs.
So, 2002 Jaguar Maroon.
Maroon.
Or Burgundy, excuse me
Oh, damn
We say Burgundy
Speaking of
Remember the Midnight in Paris movie?
Look at that thing
The Woody Allen
Where it's like literally
You think every other era
Oh, that's fucking beautiful, dude
Damn
That's what I had
With a tan leather interior
It was $1,500
How'd you get that?
Did it run?
Those cars don't hold their value
Because the older they First of of all, it's all
European parts.
Yeah.
It's a pain in the ass if you want to get something fixed.
And then the older they get, the harder it is to get the parts.
So, most people don't want to deal with it.
They're like, give me the new one or don't give me anything.
I don't give a shit.
Right.
They don't hold value.
You can get an old – would you say you have an old Beamer?
73 Beamer.
How much did that cost?
Well, they're hot now.
So they went up.
But I mean-
Was it a lot?
Don't say if you don't want to say.
It was more than 10 grand.
Okay.
But not much more.
Okay.
Well, then that's my point.
Like, you're talking about a classic car, vintage, whatever.
Great shape.
You're spending more for parking in New York.
Let's say you spent 12 grand.
You would never get a car that looks like that for 12 grand.
That's my point. Dude, there are buildings that charge 100 get a car that looks like that for $12,000. No. That's my point.
Dude, there are buildings that charge $100,000 a year for parking in New York.
It's insane.
$100,000 is actually worth.
Yeah, you're right.
That was actually worth $3,000 when I bought it.
The guy that was selling it was like, dude, I just need to get rid of it, man.
My wife's telling me I got to get rid of the car.
Did you get laid in it?
Blown?
I did.
Jerked?
I probably fucked around in that car a little bit.
Dude, what website did you find it on?
Literally a guy selling it on the street.
He knew the guy.
What?
I was parked on the street in LA.
I drove by it or I walked by because I didn't have a car at the time.
And I was like, holy shit.
And I called the guy immediately and he's like, yeah, man, I could meet you there right
now if you want.
And he came down and as i was looking at it
three different people that passed were like dude is this for sale and then i was like and
then i was like dude just give it to me just give it to me like it's like yeah like 1500 yeah
you paid him cash i went right to the bank got 1500 out in cash and gave it to him hell yeah
that was it love it just drive it at home must have been so fun oh dude it was awesome
it was awesome i love a transaction like that yeah and i took it to a steak dinner that i
met keith and arty fuqua at prime in la and uh when i was leaving arty saw the valet bring my
car around he goes oh shit who the fuck brought my granddad's car i remember after you know arty, Artie was in the Tracy Morgan crash, for those who don't know.
And I remember after, yeah, I got a lot of money.
I remember I was on the steps of the comedy cellar, right?
We hadn't seen him since it.
And we were all kind of worried.
And I was on the steps with Michael Che.
And I said, man, I hope he didn't spend his money on something stupid.
The second I say that, he rolls around in a giant Escalade.
In a perfect suit.
I've never seen him not in a suit since the crash.
Now, Keith always says, Ari's Pee Wee Herman suits bug me.
Fuck, I love Keith, dude.
All right, I got to go down and do Bob and Billy's show.
Dude, I love you guys, man.
We love you.
Thanks for coming, man.
Check out Joe.
Everyone, Mark, plug some dates, man.
Oh, and make sure to email us at wemightbedrunkpod at gmail.com.
Wrecks, peeves, jokes, drinks, whatever you want for the Patreon.
We love you guys on the Patreon.
And, you know, follow Joe DeRosa.
Definitely support his restaurant.
Go Joey Roses.
Thanks, bro.
And check out his dates.
He's going to be on the road in 2022.
I'm in Milwaukee, Improv, Kansasansas city syracuse sacramento punchline
uh la jolla comedy store all kinds of good days comedy san diego underrated oh great town and
that's like the nice part of san diego i got toronto uh richmond magubies and timonium maryland
i got hartford funny Bone. I got Sacramento,
Columbus, Ohio,
Beacon Theater, New York City.
One night, baby. May 7th.
Make sure to get tickets to that.
That's a biggie. Get tickets.
A few other dates coming, but
I got Orlando,
West Palm, all that shit, so come
support. Hell yeah.
Thanks, guys. Alright come support. Hell yeah. Thanks, guys. All right, boys.
Comedy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. guitar solo Thank you. Ketawa Thank you.