We Might Be Drunk - Ep 82: Fahim Anwar

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

This week we are joined by  @Fahim Anwar  and have a great conversation and a lot of laughs, find Fahim on the road and subscribe to his YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/FahimAnwar https:/.../www.fahimanwar.com/ Check out Mark and Sam on the road: Visit http://marknormandcomedy.com/ and https://www.sammorril.com/shows for more details! Join us on Patreon at http://Patreon.com/WeMightBeDrunkPod Visit www.betterhelp.com/Drunk for 10% off your first month. Go to DietSmoke.com. Use the promo code “DRUNK” for 20% off your order. Merch at http://WeMightBeDrunkPod.com Thanks to Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 oh welcome guys we might be drunk first guest in the new studio whoa everybody beautiful beautiful place thank you for having me thanks for coming here jews in the house hell yeah can you put the apron on for me? I like the apron. Thank you. It makes it more professional. There we go. All right. Look at that thing.
Starting point is 00:00:32 You look like you're a surgeon in the 20s. Very Brooklyn. What was that Clive Owen show? The Mick. The Mick. Did you watch that? No, it was The Nick. The Nick.
Starting point is 00:00:39 The Nick. Was it good? The Mick is like an Irish slur. That's true. That's why that popped in during drinking. Yeah. Was that show good? I liked it, yeah. he's fucking awesome he's great clive sexy guy that was my ex's number one what do you call it a comment not comment card oh hall pass hall pass he's like a man's man though you know what i mean like chris hemsworth is sort of the metro dolphin no hair but like clive owen
Starting point is 00:01:03 is yeah that's like rugged he's rugged exactly he could have been like a bond he's suave but still kind of a dude he'd be a perfect bond is he handsome without the context like without the movie stars you still i think he is yeah i mean but he's cool cool adds he's like the british clooney but remember what the bar used to be like remember tom selleck was the bar yes that's how muscular you had to be that was enough right right like magnum pi shirt off there's no definition but that was it well is there no definition pull up sell it look at he had some definition he was all right he was beefy it was like hairy chest healthy dad bod but the hairy chest i'm really mad that that went out because right that's nothing reynolds
Starting point is 00:01:45 oh he's ripped what are you guys talking about compared to nowadays boy what a dilf yeah i mean he is primo that doesn't cut it today yeah the legs don't cut it the up top he's all right man he is a hunk i never really thought about him he's a hot guy look at this guy glowing with the stash that stash smells like puss no doubt about it oh my god and good like good he's more ripped here yeah quality puss yeah yeah no what are you kidding i have a young reynolds though he's got it too it wasn't the story with burt reynolds that he did play girl and he was like all these all these chicks are gonna are gonna love me it's just like gay dudes who read that he's got like a big gay dude following i didn't know i was gay i have i mean that what what women
Starting point is 00:02:29 do you think are looking at this he was just cool and confident it's all about the confidence he's fucking around he's fun i feel like girls say they're not into chest hair when they're younger and then they get old enough and then they realize the truth yes they're into it that they're into it i know i've it's i remember a data girl very young and she made me she was like please shave your chest and I'm so mad at myself I did it and I and I by the way it lasts for like what three days and it turns into like little paper cuts every time she yeah so never again I was young I was insecure but now women are like oh you're like you're man. I'm like, only in this way.
Starting point is 00:03:05 I can't fix shit. Right, right. It's a deep voice and hairy chest. Every other way, I'm a fucking coward. Well, because it sets you apart. Not every guy has that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:16 I had a lady growing up, she told me to shave, because I always had a little stubble as a kid even. She was like, you got to shave, that's gross. And now women love stubble. So you're right, you grow into it but they complain about sometimes when you kiss for a while and they they get they get red in the face true from the stubble they hate it so they shave but then i look weird shaved all the way yeah you look 13 me too yeah i had a friend he was like maybe i'm gay maybe i'm gay and he's like i'm gonna go out and meet a guy i'm gonna i'm gonna be a gay guy
Starting point is 00:03:44 and he went out and he kissed one guy and he said right when he felt the stubble he's like i'm not gay he's like that's what was was the eye opener there's more there's more than that separating me from going down that road but uh try it really the dick stopped me but yeah the double i could handle yeah i'm just i just there's more i mean I kissed a boy when I was a child. Whoa, I kissed a boy. And I liked it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We're not glossing over this. Well, it's in my, it's in my closer in my new hour.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Oh. Don't give it away. Don't give it away, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I don't give it away. But what are we drinking, man? I see Bodega Cat, so I'm excited. So Bodega Cat. Today we're going to start with a little sipper of Bodega Cat.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Just neat, just to enjoy it the way it is. And then, we're going to make a little Bodega Cat drink for everybody who can get their hands on at home. Yeah! So, we'll start off with that. It's not for sale yet. Nice and cold. This is me and Mark's whiskey.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Oh, really? Yes. Whoa, you're like the Breaking Bad guys. Dos Hombres. That's when you've made it, when you pivot to alcohol. Yes. It makes me excited because I've never tried it, but you just see the pictures of them together, and you're like, they're friends. Bro, it's weird.
Starting point is 00:04:57 You make the most money doing the thing that isn't your main thing anymore. Isn't that right? Remember basketball? You're good at basketball, and then shoes is where they made all the money. And now if you're an actor, like The Rock makes all his money from tequila. Right. The Breaking Bad guy. He does it right from the movies though.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Sure. But it's like. He does the movies so he's big enough to sell his tequila. Right. That's so true. A lot of female pop stars make a fragrance. Yeah. Like Rihanna.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Or like Skims. Yes. It's all about the other shit you know why because you're already a brand so when you sell the shit now you make money on that because yeah there's only so much money you can make as a human you have to make a product that people can try this let's know what you think of this this is i love this with this i'm proud of this whiskey cheers cheers i'm getting there also booze will ruin your life unless you get in front of it and sell it. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:05:49 We took the beast. We're doing both. All right. The podcast is not helping our health here. Well, we're going to die happy. It's really good. Oh, that's good. That's smooth.
Starting point is 00:06:02 But I'm just saying, if you have a problem with whores, instead of letting the whores ruin your life, buy a ranch. Be a pimp. Yeah. And flip it around. Flip it. Now you're using the whores. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:12 So what was the process of this? How did you get your own? So long. It's been, I want to say 16 months it's been. What do you think, Mark? Yeah, it's been a while. Just from idea to conception, we had to design the bottle, we designed the label, we picked out the rye, then it's illegal stuff, so it's a nightmare. That's pretty baller, man.
Starting point is 00:06:29 But it's coming. It's coming, dude. I'm a fan. Thank you. This is fucking good whiskey. Bodega. It's really nice, actually. It's really like a rye rye, you know?
Starting point is 00:06:40 Like, very crisp, a little tart. Very nice. I got the slug line.'ve arrived all right we'll throw a little quotation on the rye come on you've been in england too long with these fucking puns doing that shit they got me it's like a pun packet like all right we need eight pages of puns yes this is mark mark will say yes to fucking everything and the problem is he says yes to everything so now because we do a pod together they're like well mark did it i said no to they think you'll do it too any fucking open micers
Starting point is 00:07:14 podcast mark does and i'm like look i'll do a podcast when i can but you know we're busy i need to write jokes mark does some random open micro in like Raleigh's podcast. On there he's like, Norman did it. Well, I said no to kissing that boy that asked me. Well, I felt guilty. I had to make it up for him. I haven't noticed that. You're like the little Wayne of comedy. You just, you feature on every track. Right. Is that a
Starting point is 00:07:38 conscious decision where you're like, I'm going to do everything? No, it's I can't say no. You asked me to do something, I'll do it, sadly. Kiss that boy. Yeah, I'll do it sadly kiss that boy yeah i'll do it and uh that's what that's how i got kevin spacey autograph but uh no i just i can't say no people ask me i feel guilty and then sometimes if i have nothing to do i'm like oh i'll go do that even though it will help me in no way and it's a waste of time and all that but i'll do it don't you feel mad though if you don't have like that's writing time it's cutting in i know you're right you're right so i
Starting point is 00:08:09 got i got i've gotten better i've cut back but you should you should be writing r y e t i there we go writing writing yeah that's all the old alcoholics like all the old sorry all the old writers used to just drink like fish. Oh, yeah. All the writers' rooms. Yeah. Even SNL, it was all fueled by Coke back in the day, I keep on hearing. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Now, do you think SNL, I mean, they probably still party. Some of them. Yeah. I think it's a different culture. Like, you can't be that fucked up. There's too many talented, sober people where people's threshold for that are like, I'll just get somebody who's sober and can do the job oh yeah right and also back in the day we didn't have a lot of therapy like now it's all like health and wellness and you know work on yourself and mental health health and now it's like all that shit so you don't need booze as much back in the day in baseball like the players
Starting point is 00:09:01 were all drunks and eating sausages every day yeah and they were and then guys start doing steroids you're like well i guess like if i do the sausage and the beer every day in baseball, like, the players were all drunks and eating sausages every day. Yeah. And then guys start doing steroids. You're like, well, I guess if I do the sausage and the beer every day, then I'm, like, two steps beyond, you know? Yeah, right, right. It's called Mickey Mantle gene, right? Is that what Bert says? Yeah. He's got it. He's got it, man.
Starting point is 00:09:17 What is the definition? Just, like, you can do whatever you want and you'll still. Well, Mickey Mantle died very young. Did he? Yeah. When was he, was like 61 or something pull it up i mean and then also and then he also was doing the whole speech like don't be like me that fucked me up as a kid because because i i grew up watching the yankees like old documentaries
Starting point is 00:09:34 with my grandpa so oklahoma yeah well 64 all right oh damn well norm was what 62 have you seen uh norm's lou gehrig snl sketch yeah oh i love that so good so good that's gotta suck to be the guy who you know you know when you have an ailment and you go to the doctor and like oh this is called johnson and whatever syndrome you're like oh okay at least someone else has had this but when they're like we're gonna name this after you that fucking sucks you're you're you have the mark norman disease that's when you can't say no to any podcast it's like the worst version of having a sandwich named after you yeah one of my favorite curb episodes yes they're fighting you ever see that one
Starting point is 00:10:16 did you ever uh whitefish and mayo yeah which i like i like whitefish i like whitefish but mayo come on you don't like mayo? On fish? But that's the salad. That makes it the fish salad. Ah, good point. Good point. Are you a drinker on the road? Or are you kind of-
Starting point is 00:10:31 A little bit. Like, this is fun. So when you guys are like, hey, we've got these drinks. I'm like, yeah. Fuck yeah. But yeah, I'm not first to be like, yo, let's get some drinks. But if the occasion arises, I'm down for it. But I never-
Starting point is 00:10:43 I'm a social drinker. Yeah, I'm like a social drinker. That's better. You don't want to be an alone drinker. Yeah, I'm down for it. But I never. Yeah. I'm like a social drinker. That's better. You don't want to be an alone drinker. Yeah. I'm not there yet. It looks cool in the movies.
Starting point is 00:10:51 But then when you try it, you're like, this is kind of rough. I mean, look, I know there's people watching this, having a drink right now. You're not alone. We're with you. But I do know, like, sometimes you're all by yourself. I have like one. I'm watching a game or something. I think we've earned it.
Starting point is 00:11:04 At our age, we work hard. You go home. You have one work hard. You go home. You have one highball. You watch TV. I have the full bar at home, which I do enjoy having. I do, too. I like that I just went the complete other way. I'm like, I don't drink at home.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I've got a full bar. I've done it before where I'll have just a sad, manly Johnny Walker and a cigar just on my patio. Is that an L.A. brag right there you know what's crazy just because the way of living in new york is is so much uh it's way more like stripped down than la so because i would have these jokes early on when i would come here and be like i would shit on a studio apartment and then ari shafir was like well that's amazing out here like no one no one's gonna feel for you if you talk about your studio apartment and i'm like ah i didn't know about that yeah yeah he's got a patio by the way patio Shafir was like, oh, that's amazing out here. Like, no one's going to feel for you if you talk about your studio apartment. Ooh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:46 And I'm like, ah, I didn't know about that. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a patio. By the way, patio sounds like an Irish slur. Oh, patio. No, yeah, he does. He has that nice little patio. But it's, yeah, studios here are, like, solid.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Yeah. You know? You're lucky to have them. But in L.A., yeah, L.A., look, we'll give it to you. You got the weather and you got the space. But you don't, like, look, when you start out, there's some L.A. people out there. If something's tough about the city, like, it feels like everyone went there to make it. You're, like, one of the few guys where I'm, like, since I've known you, it's been a while, even though I feel like we've never, like, sat down and had, like, a long conversation.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Yeah, this is cool. But, like, I'm, like, oh, shit, he's, like, a pure comic. Oh, you're great. Well, that's nice underrated well it's super nice um i remember one time you know amy hawthorne yeah sure so i knew her from comedy club i knew her from uh the comedy store because she would come around there early on and i knew her for years and then she went to new york and when she was visiting after being out here for a long time she's like oh yeah i was talking somehow like new york versus
Starting point is 00:12:45 la comics came up and then and then i think i came up and then she goes oh yeah norman said he doesn't count like he's different and that meant a lot to me just uh to kind of have that new york badge or to be like oh he's he's not exactly like an la la comic so do you think we're snobbier or do you think you guys are snobbier i think i think well because you guys are comedy pure like you're jokes first and i'm very much jokes first like i love i love that uh you know at its core jokes are everything to me yeah so you're like joke guys and i i love that you're a joke guy but you will do amazing act out so like i'll watch you do shit i mean there's even a joke in your new special hat trick which is streaming on youtube right now check it out uh and three
Starting point is 00:13:30 there's three rooms in the comedy store kind of like the cellar yeah there's three rooms and you did a special in each in each room yeah great concept and yeah it's never been done right you know yeah so there's the original room the main room and then the belly room upstairs and yeah no one's done that at the comedy store. But one guy's like, Ray Romano did this. And I'm like, I'm the first at the comedy store. I don't have the concept of doing three different mics somewhere. But the guy's like, Ray's did this.
Starting point is 00:13:57 And I go, yeah, he did that. Also, I got a great idea about a show where everybody loves me. Everybody's done some variation. yeah romano by the way the nicest dude in comedy yeah there's not he's like the only dude like when we'd start out when a famous guy would pop into the cellar they'd always like bump you but he would be like do you mind if i do like i'll go on after you like he was so nervous to inconvenience anyone i'm like i've never seen a famous dude like that because he doesn't have to do that. So it kind of goes a little extra mile.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Like, oh man, this guy's so famous and he still kind of knows the comic rules. Yeah. What are we drinking? So I guess we'll call this one the Bodega Vaccine.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Oh, I like it. The Daily Omicron. And basically, it's like a little spin on penicillin. Wait a minute. He can't have it. You're anti-vax. So you can'ticillin wait a minute he can't have your anti-vax so you can't drink it oh yeah i can't have it but just uh just a little honey ginger lemon syrup with uh our famous bodega cat rye it's a penicillin basically essentially it's really good these are classics yeah i love the little ginger candy in there fucking oh that's good you always
Starting point is 00:15:06 gotta have a little ginger candy especially if you're like a big drinker like um ginger is always like really nice because you don't want anything too sweet so that little like spice yeah yes ginger is fantastic especially with a ride that's something light you know when it's like heavy and dark it's a little too much but But with a ride, it's nice. Finally, a vaccine I didn't have to go to Staten Island to get. This is great. Also, the third Irish slur. Threw ginger in there.
Starting point is 00:15:33 They're on a roll. Vic, patio, ginger. So, you have a joke. I'm talking about like act outs because you are hard jokes. But then you'll do act outs. You can do a Cobra Kai act out. The mass shooting joke. You know, where you kind of just say like like these kids just learn karate instead of shooting up
Starting point is 00:15:48 a school and we're supposed to believe that and then he does the whole like miyagi-do i can't do it but it's like yeah it was like your kid gets bullied in high school he comes home he sees his dad's ar-15 and he goes that's the coward's way out and just starts doing all this shit such a it's like timely on so many levels it's perfect well thanks man yeah i mean that's the way i view act outs though i like because there was this younger comic one time and he he liked act outs and stuff and he would do them but i always say you gotta earn the act out yeah so it's like joke first and then that shit is just seasoning on the already kind of like tight joke it's a tag almost a tag yes the on the already kind of tight joke.
Starting point is 00:16:25 It's a tag almost. It's a tag, yes. The act outs are kind of tags. Right. But if you're on stage pretending you're in a hang glider or something, I could tell when you're like, oh, you just wanted to act like you were in a hang glider. Exactly. I saw guys like that early on. They were great at sound effects.
Starting point is 00:16:39 And this guy, he'd just be doing a siren. I'm like, there's not even a fucking joke. You just wanted to show us you could do a siren. Yeah. It's like impressionist. Or the guy who can beatbox. They put beatboxing in. You're'm like there's not even a fucking joke you just want to show us you could do a siren yeah it's like impression box they put beatboxing in you're like that's not a bit you ever the the guys who do the uh impressions and there's no it's just the impression right this is uh jack nicholson meeting christopher walk and you're like and then you see a guy who do impressions and there's a joke and you're like oh that was like you said this
Starting point is 00:17:01 yeah yeah yeah so i always like, earn the act out. Yeah, we've all seen the guy, too. This is why I don't do act outs. I think I did it one time in 1988. I did a pratfall, and it didn't get a laugh. You did a pratfall? I did one in, like, a classroom or something. And I was like, because I was a zinger guy, and then I'd try to, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:19 oh, I'll do this fall down thing, and no one laughed. And I was like, I'll never do an act out again. Because when you give and, like, hurt yourself and do a whole thing to silence i've always felt that too just the delta between how much you give and if you're getting nothing that's that makes it exponentially sadder the worst whereas if you're just like throwing a word out there like i don't did you do that at open mics because i mean you need you do need some energy from a crowd to commit to shit like that. And you're saying, like, it almost feels, like, dishonest. Like, you don't realize you're not doing well if you're doing something that hardcore for a crowd that gives you nothing.
Starting point is 00:17:54 True. Yeah, right. So was that hard as hell to do at mics? There's dials on it. So, like, even though I have an act out, if it's rip and roaring, I'll stay in the pocket and do be more physical. But if it's a bar show and it's kind of more chill the worst it'll be kind of a toned down version of the act out right so you kind of give what you get right so i'm not going to be doing the running man for two people
Starting point is 00:18:16 and like sweating because that just looks so sad yeah and yeah you can move you're a good move i was at a party once and i saw you in the distance dancing what what party was this where was i don't know maybe i was jerking off but or it was a wet dream but you can dance for a comic i think i'm okay i know you got moves man i've seen the instagram yeah yeah i was at the same party also jerking off yeah yeah thanks i appreciate it's nice to be there it was great but i mean you can dance so i think I think when you do act outs, like, you actually commit. You know, this thing, if I do it, it would look silly and dumb. But you actually look good doing it. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Sometimes a comic, if you never do it and then you do it. That's true, too. Like, I remember Nick DiPaolo on, like, an early album did, like, a sound effect. And it killed so hard because they were like, this guy does sound effects? It's a style change. Ian Edwards is like that, too. He's so chill and he's, like, a brilliant like a brilliant writer and he's so like measured and has great jokes but sometimes he'll do an act out and i i love that shit because that's my jam and so it
Starting point is 00:19:15 it'll hit even harder because he doesn't do that a lot so who's one of your guys coming up where you're like this is what i want to be comic wise like when i was coming up i mean what i like stand-up was never really on my radar when i was super young but delirious put it on the map for me when i saw that i was like i could see that eddie murphy yeah great jokes great it was everything um because prior to that my comedy knowledge was informed by like The Simpsons. Yeah. Because I watched that when I was a kid. Same.
Starting point is 00:19:47 But there's so many brilliant writers and comedians who were like a part of that show that like what a great blueprint, you know? That and SNL. Same. And then Delirious came along. And I researched how people got on SNL. And it was improv or stand-up. And then I researched Second City and like GroundL and it was improv or stand-up and then I researched
Starting point is 00:20:05 Second City and like Groundlings and you have to pay money and then my parents are from Afghanistan they it'd be like clown college they wouldn't be cool with me Simpsons episode though what like college yeah yeah that's right it's a great ep yeah so stand-up just seemed more doable because you're out there on your own you don't pay money so that's why i chose the stand-up path it's also the curse of stand-up because now every tom dick and harry is like i'll do that that'll be my thing then they have a photo of them on facebook with a microphone and they put stand-up in their bio and the rest is history yeah yeah but that's why also when you can you can kind of figure it out and it's working for you it's kind of extra cool because anyone
Starting point is 00:20:42 could just true true yeah yeah and i do like like you kind of get what you put into it. You're not reliant on a team. Yes. You're not reliant on someone saying you're graduated to the next level. You're not forking over money. Yes. It's like golf. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Yeah. Golf, tennis, any sport where it's like all on you. Yeah. You're right. Like team sports, sometimes you see like these great NBA players or something, and they're just like, well, he never won one account. I'm like, yeah, well, it's a team sport though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:12 You know, you can make your team better, but if you don't have the people around you, it sucks to, you know, live and die on other people. I know. I hate it. I hate it. It's a lot of work. Like you ever done an improv troupe? Back in the day, hey, it's a lot of work like you ever done an improv troupe. No back in the day Yeah, yeah, I did one and it's it's really you got to be there on time hang out together be together right together
Starting point is 00:21:32 Like do stuff together. It's a lot. Then you do a sketch thing. You had a sketch special to go face Yeah, yeah, that was like our cuz we would do both we were um, we were all there with you It was a Hassan Minaj Wow Aristotle who's on snl now wow what happened you got fucked i know you know what's it's kind of confirming though because i think we were too early um like we were putting out some nice youtube sketch we're doing it for two years and just the industry didn't really they didn or, yeah, they weren't really about it. They're clueless. And then Husson gets Daily Show and like Aristotle's at SNL now.
Starting point is 00:22:10 And Awesome is in that new Harry Styles and Florence Pugh movie. Wow. So, like everyone is doing pretty well. And it's nice to look at that poster and be like, oh, man, everyone is on their rocket ship already. So, we weren't crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I mean, the industry gets it so fucking wrong it's well you guys are prime examples of that and i know like we don't get to spend enough time because we're on different coasts but when i was in la and watching your guys trajectory it was really inspiring because you're like oh there's a different way it's weird right i mean we were we were nervous as hell doing i remember comics i really respected being like you put out a free youtube special you're a fucking idiot i remember hearing that and even now you know you're like oh thank god i did that people used to laugh they'd be like you can see this next comic on youtube and i was like my uncle's on youtube yeah it was fucking it would i remember that would get a laugh like they thought they were zinging me yeah the host it was hilarious i mean even bill burke talked about when he put his thing on netflix his first special on netflix whatever that was
Starting point is 00:23:09 he was like what is this i'll give it a shot fuck it let's see what happens and it obviously worked out but even that was new and weird what i've realized about stand-up is these these ways to pop they come and go yeah like whatever the platforms are but if you if you are a stand-up and your ship is moving in the right direction the names change yeah like it'll be it'll be comedy central for a couple years then it's netflix for a couple years hbo and then maybe yeah there was hbo before that and then now it's youtube and it'll be something else but so long as you are continuing to grow in your craft that shit doesn't matter right because the new thing will come along and they'll just look at who's where is everybody in the pantheon
Starting point is 00:23:51 of comedy right now yes and we go okay we'll just choose from that i've noticed all those things you name netflix they all kind of somehow end up on youtube at the end of the day i noticed that with late night uh like the Tonight Show and everything. When that was such a tune-in. You do a Late Night set now, you get like maybe one tweet. You guys love them though, right? You still do them, huh? You just did a cold cordon.
Starting point is 00:24:16 It's fun to do. They're fun. Does it just feel like old Hollywood? You put a set together, it's exciting, it's a tightrope. You can't fuck up. I don't know how many more I'm going to do, but I like... I mean, how many more can you actually do? I feel like all these shows are going
Starting point is 00:24:31 off the air. I know. They're probably starting podcasts. Also, doesn't Kimmel tape his in Vegas? I'm like, doesn't that eliminate the purpose of doing a late night? You're like, I'm doing it to be in the building to feel like I'm in showbiz. They send you to Vegas? I don't want to go to Vegas for any reason. Yeah, I'm doing Colbert be in the building to feel like I'm in showbiz. They send you to Vegas? I don't want to go to Vegas for any reason. Yeah, I'm doing Colbert.
Starting point is 00:24:47 It shoots in Tampa. What's your mindset when you do late nights now? I'm wondering, do you get notes or have you done it so many times they just let you do whatever? When I did Corden this time, they were pretty much like, I remember I had one joke. It's funny when they give you notes. My closer was a joke i would take in a finger in the butt and they were like you can't say but you have to just say in that spot and i'm like sure what it's almost like it's almost more fun at that point where
Starting point is 00:25:16 you're like let me fucking let me allude you almost feel like you're carson you know you almost feel like you're doing like a sex joke in the 80s you're like fuck it let me give it a try as long as it still hits and i tried it it on stage and it still killed the same. So I was like, yeah, maybe it's not about the butt thing. Butt just sounds funnier than in that spot in the butt. It's also weird when you've been doing it a certain way for so long and they go, can you do this? And you have to unprogram your mind in the last second.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Totally. And it's weird because these shows are like comedy shows. They're all about being funny, but then they're like like could you be less funny right here do this less funny you're like yeah this this is how it works i know but you got to do it this way like all right so i'll be you wouldn't do that with sports you know how you shoot from here and you it always goes in shoot up shoot from the locker room and uh you know we'll see what happens yeah no it's it's annoying though that so that's the thing. I remember doing a Fallon one.
Starting point is 00:26:07 The amount of notes they gave me, I was just like, I don't want to do that. I don't. This is. I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah. Chris D turned down a Fallon because they wouldn't let him do an accent. And he's like, my wife and daughter are Puerto Rican.
Starting point is 00:26:18 I got to do their accent. They're like, ah, it's kind of offensive. That's why he married a Puerto Rican. Yeah. For the jokes. He's like, I want to do this voice. I think he has a trans friend for that reason as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:29 White guys are coming down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you weigh it now, it makes less sense because if you're putting all these like handcuffs on you to do a late night set and it doesn't move the needle as much as it did back in the day, you're like, why don't I just put this clip on YouTube? I know.
Starting point is 00:26:44 There's more rules and less traction. it's interesting like they good t-shirt more rules less traction ky jelly uh more traction i guess and less rules i messed that one up but you know it's uh it is weird when you get those notes and you're just like but this doesn't but then you'll get like a publicist who's like, no, it's important. It's a good look. And you're like, good luck. You know what's a good look is selling out on the road. Totally.
Starting point is 00:27:10 How do you guys feel about publicists? Did you hire like a traditional media? Because I think things are shifting where it's way more important to like have somebody who knows the digital space more than anything. Yes. Because someone's like, hey, we're going to do a Vulture article. Like, who cares but if you know instagram algorithms or tiktok algorithms that's way more valuable you need a hacker more than a publicist totally i need like a russian bot spy or something you need like a 12 year old who just knows the trending hashtags and dances and shit so true
Starting point is 00:27:39 i uh i had a tiktok and i i'm sucking all that stuff and it had 15 TikTok, and I'm sucking all that stuff, and it had 15,000 followers. And somebody hit me up like, this is crazy. You have this many on Instagram, this many on YouTube. How do you have such a low TikTok? I was like, I don't know. And he's like, I think you should tear it all down and let me do it. And I was like, go for it. And now it has like 300-something thousand in no time because of this kid.
Starting point is 00:28:00 He just knows what to do. Yeah. And it's all the same videos. It's fascinating. He resized one he changed the banner popped yeah you need somebody who who like understands that space yeah um i have to find that person like because i was toiling over this special i go do i hire a because for my first one that i did on cso i had a traditional pr guy were. Yeah. Were you able to re-release it on YouTube?
Starting point is 00:28:25 RIP. Well, I know RIP. So CISO is like Peacock before Peacock sort of. Which is so sad. Yeah. Yeah. It was Peacock 1.0. So you know how hot Peacock is nowadays?
Starting point is 00:28:36 This was the first iteration of it. That's crazy. They got you. Who else did they get? Stan Hope, Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz. Wow. These are like big names yeah they had some real people
Starting point is 00:28:46 it was a thing for a minute you know like look even when i did it i knew no one was gonna see it but i knew it was a stepping stone special um i knew that i would at least get to put this out there it would look beautiful um i would get to at least artistically put the thing out there yeah and then eventually when cso went under Comedy Dynamics, they licensed it to Comedy Central. So it's on their YouTube now. Oh, that's good. So at least I have two specials that are accessible on YouTube now. Nice.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So it worked out in that way. But nobody saw it when it came out. Wow. That must be heartbreaking. I remember DeStefano and I had a similar thing. We were talking because we had a special on Comedy Central back in the day. Norman did the same thing. We had the hour special on Comedy Central.
Starting point is 00:29:31 And we're being like, wow, this is amazing. It looks amazing. The same shit. I'm proud of this special. And then you go on the road and you're like, looks pretty similar to last week. So that's a bummer when that happens. When you catch the things a little too late Yeah, yeah, I know you mean I remember I got on guy code like towards the end
Starting point is 00:29:51 Where it was great if you if you got there in the sweet spot, you know I was in there like the last year got in the ace of bass the band like a week ago Just doing the weird rap To be with you That's that's crazy. So you I didn't know you were on that yeah see so did it help at all i got a hoodie out of it you know enough time has passed where it's not as sad when i wear the hoodie now it's kind of cool right oh fuck a see-saw hoodie nice yes it's like cbgb totally and i'm further enough in my career where it's a nice throwback yeah whereas after it happened
Starting point is 00:30:26 still kind of stung a bit because cso is it's like quittier you know i saw a guy wearing a letterman uh letter jacket and i was like that's pretty cool it's like vintage an actual letterman jacket yes that's there you go damn that's uh is this the thing that you feel like i saw it's got a ton of views in a short amount of time do you feel like this is the thing that's been the biggest the new special you mean yeah kind of yeah i think uh because the cso thing that comedy central put out on their youtube it was already a few years removed and it was kind of unceremonious right so like it's cool it's accessible but it's almost me from years ago it's not very immediate this has been a great little lightning rod moment and introduction to me
Starting point is 00:31:06 that some people may not know my stand-up because like i'm not super present on podcasts or i don't have a ton of stuff out there like do you hate doing podcasts no you know it's kind of inspiring just the the control you get to have yes fuck these industries back in the day you you had to damn that's a good looking website. Sorry. Thanks. You had to get on sitcoms and shit, you know? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:29 You were hoping to be six on the call sheet on some TGIF sitcom to pull some ticket sales. But no one watches TV anymore. Right. And people are really savvy. It's cool that comedy fans are super surgical with what they tune in on. They don't watch a show to be like, oh, that guy's good. I'll go catch him on the weekend. They love stand-up.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah, you should just watch what was on. Now you find your own shit. You meet up with people and they're like, are you watching this? You're like, I've never heard of that. They're like, it has 400 million views. You're like, I didn't, but then you can just find stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:58 There's so many avenues. Yeah, I saw someone trolling Stavros on Twitter being like, if it was a good special, it wouldn't be on YouTube. And you just want to be like, you know nothing about comedy. You're way behind. And also, like, how are you digging the guy? Like, that's the funny thing about YouTube is probably the best avenue right now. Even Netflix is probably even better.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Because you can just click that fucking link. Anyone. When I was thinking about what to do with this special, I just knew, you know, I'm at a point in my career where I can't afford to have people not find it. I needed to make it as frictionless as possible. Yes. I needed to be able to do a pod. Hyperlink. Or tweet hyperlink.
Starting point is 00:32:37 IG stories, swipe up. Your Twitter bio. Yes. That's where I'm at right now like when you haven't broken yet and nobody knows who you are it's way more valuable for people to be able to like access it also you we've talked about this but like the Louie method is great if you're huge already but also you know what people you people that don't know you pay what five or ten dollars for the special but you're not really getting new fans when you do that shit yeah because no one's no one's taking a chance spending money on things i mean look i'll rent
Starting point is 00:33:10 a movie if it's a if it's a good movie i feel like most people don't do that shit no no it's gotta be a hard word of mouth hard like you gotta see this totally i think comedy is moving we've always been kind of adjacent to music and indie bands, but I think with the way the models are going with podcasting and specials on YouTube, it's becoming more and more like indie bands where I think it's cool. If there's a comic that you like, you know, if you're someone out there and people aren't hip to it yet,
Starting point is 00:33:39 like, Oh, this guy's like, you know, it's like a modest mouse or something before they break. Yeah. It's cool to be in the know because it's's that accessible now i felt i see that in my crowds i'll see someone wearing one of mark's comedy shirts i'm just like god this is so stupid this is so stupid that people just buy
Starting point is 00:33:54 sure it's funny to me it's like it's weird i love it you know yeah they're on my website but now that's gonna sound offensive please bear with me on war but i think being so honky looking has hurt you because we all know you're hilarious comics will share like joe have you seen this and it's a video of you doing a sketch or something and i guess it's hilarious you're you're you're staying up as good your sketches are good you're a good looking guy doing a sketch or something. I'm like, this is hilarious. Your stand-up is good. Your sketches are good. You're a good-looking guy, a hell of a dancer. You're young.
Starting point is 00:34:30 You've done all the stuff. You live in L.A. You've been on Rogan. You've been on this. You've been on that. I think you should be bigger. Well, that's nice. Don't you?
Starting point is 00:34:37 That's flattering. Well, it's not my place to say where I should be and all that. It's a hard question. But I think if you looked more ethnic, I bet you'd be bigger. Let's delete this, Matt. No, no, no. I'm serious. I don't know. Is that a long shot? This is a segment we do with all our guests.
Starting point is 00:34:54 It's called Wish You Were More Ethnic. I get what you're saying. I've thought about it. I think I do fall in this weird racial no-man's land. Well, these cunts in the uh the boardroom sorry to cut you off they're they're they're so full of shit they're like we need diversity first of all the whole room is a bunch of white guys secondly they're like hey
Starting point is 00:35:15 you're not hispanic enough you know to some hispanic guy some mexican guy like we're looking for like you know a stereotype so like so you're a dick he's his he's he's mexican and you're like you're not mexican enough though yeah that's what i'm talking about you're kind of nailing it on the head thank you there's this thing because it's been my my experience you know just being in hollywood and stuff that uh there are these diversity opportunities yeah but but it's if with it's if you're within this certain band of of course you have to be uh using that as as like your weapon but if you're using that you're kind of a lazy comic because by the way they mean by the way they mean using it it's like a lot of those like
Starting point is 00:35:55 ethnic stereotypes that you're leaning on a lot of times and you don't lean on those yeah i i've always seen it was a guy with it you But, I mean, he was a dude that was like – that was his whole persona. He changed his name to sound more Hispanic. Ned Holness, right? He was – There you go. I'm very American. You know, my parents are from Afghanistan.
Starting point is 00:36:14 I was born in Seattle. Your last name is Holness. It was Holness. Yes, yes. I'm cousins with him. But I'm very American. I grew up very – I have American comedy sensibilities. I always – I just – I like funny first and identity second.
Starting point is 00:36:27 It's not a, and so if I go in and I want to pitch like a workplace comedy or something, they're like, well, we can get that from a white guy. We brought you in because we want to, it was your mom, like in a killing field or something in Afghanistan.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Like, can we, like they want to, a great setup for a comedy. The killing fields. Yeah. Hilarious. Well, it's a good title. But it's like, they want the way a great setup for a comedy the killing fields yeah hilarious well it's a good title but it's like they want you to be diverse in the way they want you to be diverse so it's like this liberal racism kind of course and that's a lot of hollywood and that's
Starting point is 00:36:57 i think i think that's part of the rise of youtube is that they were making what they made felt very insincere yeah and that's why all these YouTube specials really started to pop up, I think. Yeah. I think they never, the industry never really gave America enough credit because I think they would have blueprints. They just want to make money. It's like the stock market. So they only know what's come before and these trends.
Starting point is 00:37:20 So they go, okay, we know what this, we'll get a return on this. But if you see a guy like me,'m afghan kind of ethnically ambiguous there's no data points as to like we'll get a return on investment right right because you're looking at everything but funny like funny is secondary you got that right yeah but what's great about youtube and just straight to the people is they don't really care about that shit they kind of just want to be entertained and word of mouth is everything like if something's funny people will share it like i don't really care about that shit. I agree. They kind of just want to be entertained. I agree. And word of mouth is everything. Like, if something's funny, people will share it. Like, don't you feel good sharing something good?
Starting point is 00:37:51 Like, if I see a good movie, I'm like, dude, you got to watch this movie. It's great. Like, people want to share stuff. Yeah, especially now with so much content. There's so many movies. There's 18 networks, you know. There's Hulu. There's Amazon.
Starting point is 00:38:03 There's Apple. There's Netflix. There's whatever. So, you got to hone in because there's so much trash. mean how many times can you watch the british bake-off you know how many times you watch uh is it cake so when you find something good you gotta don't drag the is it cake ah shit we got a cake lover oh hold on this isn't a real microphone let me slice this the whole time what a great reveal a beer jew we just cut him in half dude you know uh it's so true but it is you know it is tough to i mean you make a good thing i think people will find it and also when you're on youtube i feel like the audience like they
Starting point is 00:38:40 they feel like part of like it's like an underdog story it's kind of cool they're like well this didn't get made it's funny that some people feel shame in that because i'm like no i think it's really cool that you self-release stuff and i know some great comics have held held on to material for too long because they don't maybe there's a fear in like you you hit me and mark up before and asked about like should i put it on someone else's channel should i put it on mine it seems like you're happy you put it on yours totally yeah yeah because you're gonna have to have that shit at some point anyway you may as well get the well things like we talked about before where the labels change on whatever the hot platform is at the time but what's cool about putting it on your own channel is like as long as i'm alive i'm here to stay so i get to build the channel and i can
Starting point is 00:39:22 continue to put more stuff on my so you're kind of reinvesting in yourself. Yes. Rather than making this cool thing and giving it to a conglomerate who had nothing to do with it. Exactly. Hoping to get a little more views, but it's not even promised. It's kind of... It's short money that, like, I just want to get it out.
Starting point is 00:39:38 I want a lot of money. I want people to see it, which I get. But you got to build something and have... Because I think eventually comedy and tv and all that will be your channel like faheem's youtube page will be like tbs in the future and i'll watch your page i'll watch your page i'll watch that but that's what tv is going to become i don't think it's going to be these networks maybe those will always be there but i think it's going to be very specific in the future we do a podcast like you got this pocket that pocket you just listen to the radio yeah people
Starting point is 00:40:09 just kind of subscribe to whatever they want it all comes into one there you go perfect example yes i want that butthole not these other ones i want this lady's asshole are you are you are you getting a lot of messages online about this yeah it's got a lot of views in a short amount of time. It's really cool because you're too close to it. You know, when you do a special, you've seen it a million times. You've been in editing. It doesn't hit you like an average audience member, you know, because you're just too close to it. So it's cool to see it from the response of other people.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Yeah. Yeah, it's been great. And I think they appreciate because my goal with this was i didn't want the glitz and the glam i just wanted a throwback to i wanted to capture i wanted to capture rather than recreate you know because when we do special sometimes it's it's sort of like you've built all these jokes yeah and then it's a celebration of the material but people know it's being filmed. Right. I wanted this just to be a fly on the wall experience at the store.
Starting point is 00:41:09 It's a regular night of operation. Oh, really? No one knows. They don't know there's cameras and stuff. I didn't know that. Yeah. So there's no artifice. There's no big to do.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Yeah. Because we've all seen those specials where you do one line and everybody's like, ah! Yeah. All right. Come on. Yeah. I wanted it to feel kind of real and honest um and i think some people have responded to that and they can tell they go oh this is cool it's just raw it's not like we're trying to pull something over you it's just take the lens cap off and totally yeah good on you man how do you i mean now he's he just recorded a
Starting point is 00:41:41 special nice now you just put one out. What's your thing? Because you do the road. A little bit, yeah, yeah. I'll pop out every now and then. What about new material? What's your move? Like how I build?
Starting point is 00:41:53 You got to build. And then if they saw that, so they see this, they come out and see you. You don't want to give them that again. No, of course not. Yeah. Does it stress you out? Well, I don't have a ton of dates lined up. I might have, I always call it yeast. You have maybe 15 minutes of yeast to build the rest of your new hour.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Yeah. Right? So I'll be building at the comedy store and just places around LA, get it to a nice place, and then probably go on tour with some stuff that's not from this. Okay. You got some yeast? How do you guys do it? I got an infection. infection no i don't have
Starting point is 00:42:26 i don't have much i need i need more uh i need uh i have ideas there's always ideas but yeah i mean i burned a lot because i you know you also want to put out the best possible special you can put out so it's it's tough you know how much do you save yeah i i wish i had more new stuff to go off but at the same time like you know pressure's good i mean it is it is good to be like fuck i need stuff uh i am nervous some of those seller spots where you're following some new young comic who's just murdering and you're like here goes nothing but i'll tell you like how often i watch like a legend like colin quinn just go up there and and i'm like man he really his ideas even when it's not hitting really they're so rich and they're so like he's quinn is someone i've like totally copied and like preparation like
Starting point is 00:43:11 he would do the fab like pussycat side room run his hour and i was like i didn't see anyone else doing that so i remember asking liz at the cellar i'm like can i start doing hours in there so that's how i would build my hours by literally just copying quinn's method because i'm like he's one of the best ever the best let's do what quinn does yeah and still got great ideas i opened for him i don't know this is probably four months ago now but i was in awe i was watching his set and i was like this is brilliant this is all like special worthy shit and he hasn't even put any of it out yet and And it was all new. And he's on another level. But I usually build because most of the spots around L.A. are 15 minutes. Yeah. Which is tough, right?
Starting point is 00:43:50 I mean, it's like. I mean, it's just tough to write a new act. Because you feel guilty, I think, when it's a short set just doing all new shit. Well, yeah. Like, I wouldn't do an entire set of 15 new. So I'll slide in maybe a few jokes. That's the move. Yeah, you slide in a few it depends what type of show you're doing if it's like a younger comics bar show or something and you're
Starting point is 00:44:11 doing it for free that's kind of free reign to do whatever you want yeah um but yeah i kind of traditionally build in little 15 minute increments around la and then take it on the road do you guys build on the road i do mostly on the road what i like to do a lot is i'll i'll do it like a you know a long setting i'm a good show and at the end i'll be like hey can i do new shit that's awesome that way i'm kind of like i've proven i'm like i've given you a good show and i kind of sell it as hey uh i'd like to come back here with a new hour so i'm kind of being like i'm doing this so i don't you know turn to a lazy fucking comic so usually they're incredibly supportive sometimes when a joke bombs it's funny i mean it's like when you set it up like that i know sometimes we'll just
Starting point is 00:44:53 sneak it in to see if it fits but i like to really i mean i do it sometimes but also i do like on the road when you're first in those in the fetal stages i i like doing that that's a good move because they they're a little more giving maybe or forgiving. Yeah. Well, and you've already given them a great show. Yeah. So this is just DVD extras.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Right. So they're stoked. They get a window into the process like, oh, cool, he's trying out some jokes. And a bad joke is it will get a laugh sometimes because they'll be like, oh, that one wasn't there. It is a funny moment to have with the audience.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Of course. And you go, I know that was bad. And they go, it was. It wasn't there yeah it is a funny moment to have with the audience and you go i know that was bad they go it was it was fucking bad that's a great moment what i've been doing in la i've started this show just to work on new material called fahim works on stuff and his friends drop by so i mc it and i'll do five minutes of new stuff in between but i have my friends where was it in one night? I'll do it like in the belly room. So it's like 80 seats, super low, low key. And I don't have the burden of bringing the heat. Like, cause they're going to get some great comedy as I bring them up.
Starting point is 00:45:56 And it's an opportunity for fans of mine to kind of see me working on new stuff. Who, like what kind of comics are popping in? I'm trying to think like jesus trejo did it one time uh kirk fox oh good jokes good one-liners yeah ian ian edwards who uh like when you started at the store in la who were your favorite guy who were guys that you were watching there that you were like oh this guy is pushing me to write this dude's fucking awesome or like and maybe an older guy who like that maybe took you helped out a little bit uh and you've seen oh sorry oh no not at all you've seen the store and all these
Starting point is 00:46:29 different uh totally these different iterations and timelines um like we just got past the juggernaut years which i call it right where every star came back and the lineups were fucking insane it's the avengers every every night right um and now it's this post-pandemic. It's still cool and a lot of the shows are sold out. Yeah, this is like the first half of Endgame. Yeah. People getting back together. Bobby was always great. Bobby Lee.
Starting point is 00:46:56 He's always really... We gotta get him on this. He's amazing. He's great on pods. All about paying it forward and he's just wise. He knows the comedy game and would take like he i think he was one of the first guys to take me on the road with him oh nice yeah yeah giving advice and stuff neil brennan is a guy too just love neil brilliant joke writer just so fucking sharp yeah um yeah his his some of his jokes i love his bit and his
Starting point is 00:47:21 half hour special where he's talking a lot of good jokes on You can't even you can't even compliment a woman anymore. You know, the me too joke. He's like, yeah, that was your problem. Giving women compliments. I love his bit about he's like women. Their bodies are so amazing. If you were an architect, you know, it's like big tits, big ass, small waist, tiny feet. If you were an architect, you'd be like, it's not safe.
Starting point is 00:47:44 That is such a great line yeah he's you know what he's good at too is like he'll do men versus women bits in ways i'm like oh i've never heard that angle which is yeah a lot of times people think when you think something's going to be hacky in the setup and then you're wowed in the punchline it's almost even cooler yeah not that i think his jokes are going to be hacky but like a setup where you're like oh i've heard a lot of men versus women bits yes but when it's done well you're like oh yeah yeah he's good kind of like a whiskey you think you've had them all and then one day bodega cat shows up and blows your mind not hacky oh yeah that was smooth man almost as smooth as whiskey
Starting point is 00:48:17 no so neil yeah bobby yeah sebastian Burr would come by. Bill Burr. Wow. Yeah, Burr's amazing. He's one of my favorites. Sebastian's a guy. I just saw him at the garden. We talked about it. But I was never like a Sebastian guy.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I like a tell. I like a little gritty. I like a guy who talks about his dick or a funny lady. But Sebastian was always like, oh, that's one of those bigger comics. And it never grabbed me. And I saw them live and I was like, this is a great show. Yeah. This is amazing.
Starting point is 00:48:50 I have a theory when it comes to maybe performance style of New York. Performance. Performance style of New York versus LA. I always thought about the actual theater space when you do stand-up in New York. The real estate is very limiting here. So it's like a small stage. There's not a lot of room to play. It's like a goldfish. Yeah. So in LA, the stages
Starting point is 00:49:11 are bigger. We die very young here, is what Mark made. So you may be more apt to explore the space in LA because you're not people on people. Whereas in New York, you're kind of on a milk crate. Yeah. Mike's here. So you don't even think because you're in a cage a little bit. I like it.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I like it. Kids in cages. Yeah. I mean, that's – I've never heard it like that. That's well said. I mean, it's – something about New York too is we do too many sets here sometimes, I think. Like Mark and I, I think almost like, LA is more spread out. In New York, sometimes you can do, like, four or five sets a night.
Starting point is 00:49:47 And sometimes I don't think it's benefiting me. Sometimes I think I'm just, like, because it makes you. I've always said you have to walk that line between, like, hating your new material so you're doing new shit. But you can't hate it so much that you're just like, all right, let me plow through this shit again. You don't want to feel like that about the jokes at the same time. Sure. The audience knows when you've fallen out of love with a bit. They know. again right you don't you don't want to feel like that about the jokes at the same time sure the audience knows when you've fallen out of love with a bit they know even if it's a great bit
Starting point is 00:50:10 if you're not in it anymore your heart's not into it they can sniff it they just know you don't care about this joke anymore it's crazy like a joke will just stop working yeah when you're like this joke works and then it's just you listen to all recordings you're like what what's different i know but they just know your soul's not selling it anymore right you can even have that with with This joke works. And then it's just, you listen to all recordings. You're like, what's different? I know. But they just know your soul's not selling it anymore. Right. You can even have that with newer material where like, wow, that new joke just fucking murdered. And then you do it a week later and it bombs.
Starting point is 00:50:37 It's like you didn't have that same spark. Yeah. When you think of a new joke, it's like exciting and fun. That goes away. I didn't know you were a Seattle guy. I didn't know. So are you a Hoops fan? Are you pissed about the Sonics? fan are you pissed a little bit man yeah i mean it sucks we have no team and we've had no team for this long yeah um yeah i wonder when we'll get another one but yeah
Starting point is 00:50:55 i grew up in that era gary payton sean camp griffey it was a really nice moment did you know i've had ken griffey jr come on the sweetest swing i've ever seen oh beautiful i remember those old sports center ads when they're just doing the same it must be a homer because the pitcher just said doe those old those old sports center ads those were great remember um when he turned his hat backwards for the home run derby and everyone was like he's a thug or that was the big in the 90 90s, we were like, oh my God, he's turning his hat backwards. I thought it was like the coolest thing I've ever seen. I was like, don't you guys, that's like old baseball heads too. You're like, don't you realize this is like good for the game?
Starting point is 00:51:35 I know, right? What I like about baseball is that they have a very lax chain policy. Too lax. That's true. I'm like, that looks like it's 40 pounds. Are you sure you want to run the bases with a thing on? Flavor Flav's got a full clock. I also love that it's the last sport where you just have a belt.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Oh, yeah. Do they have belts? Technology has come. You don't need a belt. But they go, no, we're not going to lose the belt. Good point. You're right. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:52:01 I guess boxers get a belt. He was one of the coolest players ever. Yeah. He literally was the Michael Jordan of baseball at the oh for sure they got injured i remember he got injured i don't know if we have the footage of it because baseball's so fucking lame about sharing footage which is probably why the league is shrunk in popularity suffering but you know he broke his arm jumping up to catch a ball into the wall i remember that yeah i mean look at that shit oh he's going full speed and he gets the catch but he breaks his fucking arm wow what a story what's sad is when i look at old clips from my childhood and they're all in 360p and i'm like oh fuck i'm old as shit i'm old like there's no high def i know oh dude if i want to watch a sean kemp
Starting point is 00:52:44 highlight reel it's to be grainy. Oh, I got one for you. The last time the Knicks won a championship was in black and white. Oh, fuck. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, my dad used to take me. Oh, he hit that hard. That's badass, though.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Wait a minute. I can't even see the ball. Yeah, he broke his wrist in that one. Oh, poor guy, because he knows his career is done. Do you remember Randy Johnson? That guy would throw like 102. Yeah, man. We had a lot of great players that are uh i won't go too sports hard you see that clip where he threw a fastball into like a goose dude yes he just blew it up that was great crazy pita hated that shit uh i talk about getting old i I remember having 8 million VHS tapes, selling them on eBay or something.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Then I had 8 million DVDs and selling them. So I've gone, now it's all digital, but I've gone multiple platforms. I got Amazon downloads. Who wants to buy them? I got Blu-ray. You name it. Oh, there's the pigeon. That used to be like a power move on Cribs, remember?
Starting point is 00:53:46 Oh, dude. Come on, the timing. How cool would that be if that bird was trying to kill himself and he was like, this is how I'll do it. I will wait to the big World Series game. What a way to go out, huh? Oh, that's poetic. You know what's crazy? Players get hit by balls that fast and they just do this. Yeah, that's true. That's all they do. Players get hit by balls that fast, and they just do this.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Yeah, that's true. That's all they do. Good point. What if a guy blew up and just feathers went everywhere? Feathers went everywhere. Oh, shit. That was a fast ball. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:54:12 A-Rod turned into a pinata? That was crazy. That was a great... Sorry, sorry. Oh, no. It's just crazy. It's just crazy. The fucking...
Starting point is 00:54:20 These guys just get hit, and they're just like... I got hit once in high school in my elbow. I didn't feel this whole nerve for like two weeks. I was like, that fucking sucks. Yeah. And I was like, I didn't handle it well at all. I was just like, ah, ah, fuck. Oh, my coach was like, dude, shake it off.
Starting point is 00:54:36 I was like, ah, fuck you. Yeah, never again. You think you could hit a home run? The what? You think you could hit a home run? No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Are you kidding me i went to the batting cages recently there's at arcade and sherman oaks and i went there and it's like it's pretty fucking fun oh bad it's great i love a batting cage did uh the pit he threw the pitch out uh oh yeah he threw a good pitch did he do his show yet at uh not yet is it fenway yeah how cool is that comic although fluffyuffy did Dodger Stadium. Well, Bird took over the commentating booth and was killing it. That was fucking amazing. I saw the clip of that. It was so great.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Dream come true. Did you ever see the clip of Seinfeld praising Norman during a Mets game? Yeah. I mean, every comic. I haven't seen that. No, come on. You must have a social media manager. It was cool seeing Seinfeld with Jordan.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Remember that in the Jordan doc? Oh, my God. I wouldn't do this when he's talking about the plays. At the height of Seinfeld, too. I know, the two heights. That's like two Jordans. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:34 The best. I love that 90s shit was like everybody in the country was in on all that. Now it's splintered. You're right. It's good for comics like us, but it's like, yeah, it is weird that the country is not all watching this like water cooler conversations yeah they don't even have water coolers anymore right everyone brings their bottle everything's hilarious yeah everyone's watching something different so there's no real common thread other than maybe the finals or but like the amber herd trial was like we're all back on something it's kind of fun i mean it sucks for
Starting point is 00:56:02 them but yeah it's fun it Too bad it's something shitty. Back in the day, it was the Sopranos. You're like, did you see the Sopranos? Now it's like, did you see these two real people's lives fall apart? Yes, exactly. Can you imagine if the OJ trial was on Twitter? That would have been the craziest shit ever. Oh my
Starting point is 00:56:20 God. Black Twitter would have gone nuts on that shit. I like the Broncos back, though. Have you seen that? Yeah. Ford is like, enough time has passed. Let's bring it back. Pow! That was a great old Mulaney joke. He's like, isn't it crazy? This guy did something so bad they took
Starting point is 00:56:35 a type of car away. Wow. Imagine if I did something fucked up and I'm like, no more Camry. Wow. Great angle. Well, dude, I'll tell you, that 30 for 30 on OJ, probably the best one ever i mean fucking like a work of art that guy ezra edelman who's like oh he's great yeah i'm an old filmmaker i haven't seen that one oh dude it's like five or six parts probably but it's it's worth it all you're right okay yeah i remember it now it actually covered race relations in los angeles
Starting point is 00:57:01 like you thought it was just going to be about the oj trial but it kind of did a deep dive and where we were in history oh it was all in the american dream and like his pressure about being a black guy in like the late 60s 70s wife i mean so much i mean then like there's guys like should he have felt that pressure to have to be right outspoken i mean because i don't think you have to but i mean then the guys like kareem abdul-jabbar and bill russell were we're doing so much i mean it's it's it asks a lot of fucked up questions it's amazing yeah i mean they did a mini series about on fx too with cuba gooding junior junior thank you or cuba i don't know maybe cuba i think it's cuba i would always say Cuba, but maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, I would say Cuba too, but it's probably Cuba. Yeah, you don't say scuba diving. It's true.
Starting point is 00:57:49 Just saying. Just saying. All right. What were you talking about? I don't know. All right. OJ, huh? OJ.
Starting point is 00:57:55 No, I never saw those miniseries. Those miniseries always kind of bug me a little bit. They do the Patty Hearst one. I'm like, I just want to watch the doc. I want to read the book. I don't... The doc feels like less Creative Liberties. I don't, you know, like. The doc feels like less creative liberties when you see Travolta in a wig.
Starting point is 00:58:09 You're like, I don't know how much of this is true. Tanya Harding. Tanya was good, but you can't beat a doc. Oh, Travolta's like, let's write in a masseuse scene. You're like, what are you talking about? What was the other one? Schwimmer came to the store one time. Really?
Starting point is 00:58:25 Yeah. Was he sad? Just had the sad bra size. Rachel. Was he cool? Well, he was. That's pretty good. You're on a break.
Starting point is 00:58:33 The thing with the store is it's low key. It's not like the factory where it's super well lit and you're kind of there to be seen. Like sometimes Bieber will go to the factory, but the store is dark. It's not super well lit lit I saw Bieber at the factory he was only half laughing at my set it was pretty fucked up timely dude timely we were all thinking it so he just came he was in the back and then he
Starting point is 00:58:55 slipped out and got into a suburban and bounced I was there once and they were like Tarantino was here last night I was like ah he's in my thing did you see what He's in there. Really? Yeah. Okay, I haven't heard that.
Starting point is 00:59:07 It was just so cool. I think it's after the main room set. So I'm coming through and he happened to be in the crowd and he was like, I want to talk to the cool guy. So he caught my set. What? You're the cool guy? I'm the cool guy.
Starting point is 00:59:20 And I got to talk to Tarantino and he hung out the whole night. Tarantino's like, I need a guy in my new movie. It's too bad you're not ethnic at all. It's too bad you're in this ethnic no-man's land. Otherwise, I could have cast you in it. Do you know Hassan? You have his number? Damn, that's wild.
Starting point is 00:59:34 What did he say to you? Just it was surreal, man. Tarantino? Are you a huge Tarantino guy, too? Of course. Yeah, I love his movies. I love him. So he was like, I want to talk to the cool guy.
Starting point is 00:59:43 And he's like, oh, yeah, that was great. And we're talking. I think he was saying he was watching the Comedy Store documentary. And he used to come to the Comedy Store all the time, like in his 20s. He dated Margaret Cho back in the day, right? Oh, did he? I think so. But he was talking about how he saw Kinison and stuff doing the late night spot.
Starting point is 01:00:02 And then also like Dice. Yeah. Yeah. And he just said, I was watching the Comedy Store documentary and I missed the place and I wanted to come back he wasn't like yeah yeah so his wife is initial he said he had to go to like a bomb shelter during the bomb yeah do that that's crazy he's obsessed with like that late 70s yeah late 60s early 70s film period, which is the best, obviously. But I loved his last movie, The Hollywood. Me too.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Me too. I loved it. But how cool is that? Sometimes we're so microscopic in what we do. We're just like, okay, what's my bit, blah, blah. And you forget that these other art forms appreciate what you do on a different level because you're too close to it. Like you doing Joker is fucking awesome. It's insane. It's so cool. appreciate what you do on a different level because you're too close to it like like you doing joker it's fucking like awesome it's so cool yeah but it's just a testament to you working on
Starting point is 01:00:51 your craft and then somebody else recognizing what you're doing right and todd phillips being just like a cool guy like he's just he's like a cool dude who likes comedy the way we probably like movies you know totally but there is this mutual adoration for different art forms where like Portugal the Man would come to the Comedy Store all the time. Oh, wow. So we got to like talk to them and they would come by and you're just like working on your set, but you don't know who's in the crowd and you're like,
Starting point is 01:01:17 oh, what you do is so much better than what I do. Yeah. Yeah. So it's so cool when there's that crossover. I love that. There was a Kevin Hart special once and at one point he does a joke and he looks down in the crowd and Shaq's in the front like. And I was like, that's amazing. Shaq's in the front row.
Starting point is 01:01:31 But that happens. I saw a Sebastian special. Seinfeld and his wife are in the front row. So you're like, I love when the big names come out and support. Hey, can we not sit Jerry in eyesight for my special, please? That would be my request. Can I not see one of the legends of comedy? you not put harvey weinstein right up front oh you saw that one show that that comic yelled at him for being out oh i did that was crazy wait which special it wasn't a special
Starting point is 01:01:54 clip but some some comics oh yeah yeah she's like it's fucking i mean it was pretty badass she said that i was here in new york right yeah yeah uh i gotta tell a fitzsimmons fitzsimmons did a show at the comedy store he said he was dying on stage bombing the crowd was very sensitive or something and he does one joke where he goes so aids is bad but you gotta admit it's the best way like fucking to get aids it's about like you know i can't remember the joke but he's like uh out of all the diseases, that'll kill you. At least you get to fuck and then die or something.
Starting point is 01:02:28 And he said, the whole crowd turned on him. And there was one guy in the back going, ah, and it was Tarantino. I was going to say, it was Rock Hudson. It was Magic Johnson.
Starting point is 01:02:41 But yeah, yeah. That's nice to hear that Tarantino's like, he likes dark shit. like what he appreciates like tarantino is such an artist i bet he like appreciates seeing shit go south like come on man like we as comics we like watching great comics bomb like it's almost more not like i'm taking pleasure in it but more like how are they going to handle it like i've seen a tell deal with bad crowds and you're like oh well, this is like special that they,
Starting point is 01:03:09 it's almost more interesting to see crowds not get David tells genius to me where I'm like, Oh, you're missing. I see how great Dave is. Comics see how great Dave is. But once in a while you'll catch a crowd that like just doesn't click with him. And the way he turns,
Starting point is 01:03:19 it's like fucking, it's like when Yoda just takes out the lightsaber and stuff. You're like, Holy shit. Right. Exactly. I saw, uh, fucking it's like when yoda just takes out the lightsaber and stuff you're like holy shit right exactly i saw uh i'm such a comedy nerd and i was on youtube one time and seinfeld was at the comedy store in london i was like let me check that out it's not a great crowd and he you know he's used to doing theaters and you know adoration and all that and he turns him around just with his
Starting point is 01:03:43 he brings he kicks it up a notch. I thought you were going to say he turns on him. He's like, what the fuck is with you assholes? What's the deal with teeth? You got bad ones. Boo. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:53 But he turned it around just like, he kicked it up a notch. It was like, oh yeah, this guy's a club comic from back in the day. He's a pro. So it was fun to watch. One of my favorite moments ever is on the Rodney Dangerfield DVD box set where it's like all those amazing old specials where it's like, you know, he's introducing all these amazing young comics.
Starting point is 01:04:09 I love those. But there's one where it's him old as shit in Vegas and he doesn't look great and he's kind of bombing. And he just kind of, you could see you're like, fuck, has this dude lost his fastball? And then he just starts hammering, hammering one liner after one liner. And it gets to a point where after a string of them, he's killing the crowd, gives them a huge applause break. And he just goes, I know a lot of fucking jokes it's like he just got his swagger right back it was like oh amazing you need to like kick you into gear sometimes because you go on autopilot you're the celebrity you're a big name whatever so he didn't seem like
Starting point is 01:04:39 he went on autopilot though rodney is like oh we should do a Patreon we just watch like old Rodney movies still killer jokes I would want they would have Evening at the Improv on Hulu so they had this back catalog of all the
Starting point is 01:04:51 Evening at the Improvs and they have legends on there but they were like three years into stand up so like I would watch Martin Lawrence or Adam Sandler
Starting point is 01:04:59 and they're you know I go at the Improv I'm there all the time to see that stage and these legends on there and to see them three years in it's kind of nice because they look three years in. And their jokes are three years in. And it's almost a nice reminder that, oh, everyone's on this journey.
Starting point is 01:05:15 And not every stand-up is fully formed until they get to whatever, whenever that is. And it's different for everybody. So, to see Martin Lawrence do do good you know but like like a three-year comic it was almost a nice recalibration and inspiring it's huge oh okay it's just a process for everybody no matter who you are and we're lucky enough to have those videos to watch like they just had to live that they couldn't really look back they look back on henny youngman or some shit you. We can see all the process. We have all the-
Starting point is 01:05:46 The Carson sets. Yeah. I guess you had to watch. It's hard to just study them probably. Maybe the library or something had them. I don't know. Maybe. You have to go to the Paley Center and just put on some weird headphones.
Starting point is 01:05:56 There's a homeless guy jerking off next to you like, this is- I don't want to study. These YouTube psychos though. Somebody made like Bill Burr then to now and it's like a trajectory of like 1994 to whatever. And he's got a full head of hair. He's got freckles. He's cute. And now at the end, he's like, these fucking pews or whatever it is.
Starting point is 01:06:15 That's a good point. It's fun to watch. They did one on CK Burr. There's a few of them. Because even when they were famous, if you look at their early stuff, it's different than the way they are now. Yes. they were famous if you look at their early stuff it's different than the way they are now yes and it's just evolving no matter where you are in your career you're not the same five or six years ago as you are now and that's a good thing i mean yeah growing you're not if you are the same that's a
Starting point is 01:06:36 fucking problem you probably not seeing those people on tape or dvd or whatever but i used to watch those like larry uh miller sets holy shit Holy shit, he was funny. He was funny, man. Great delivery, great writing. Those classic jokes, like the woman you're breaking up with, she's like, you'll never meet anyone like me again. He goes, yeah, I should hope not. I'm breaking up with you. I mean, his drinking bit, it's like eight minutes. It was amazing.
Starting point is 01:06:59 And we've all had that moment. Who were your guys? Dangerfield, Attell, Brock. I mean, so many comics coming out. Who else? Who were your guys like dangerfield attell rock like you know uh i mean so many comics coming who else who are your dudes i mean norm and seinfeld norm was huge seinfeld carlin i love greg giraldo atell yeah louis i like steven i love steven right i remember the first time hearing steven right being like this is blowing my mind i mean burr blew my mind for i mean headberg yeah i like different shit too i remember seeing like i remember seeing lily tomlin's
Starting point is 01:07:28 search for signs of intelligent life and i was like this is like genius i was like this is crazy yeah yeah carlin ellen's old ellen's first album is incredible yeah incredible just club great observational clean but you don't notice it's clean. Really good. Yeah, that's the best. When there's a clean comic and you don't even really know. Because there is this kind of brand with clean where you go, I'm not going to like it. It's going to be too squeaky. Not edgy. But there's a way to be edgy with clean. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:56 Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I remember watching a comic once. I forgot who it was, but the guy booking the show was like, ah, you probably won't like her. She's really clean. I was laughing. I was like, what are you what are you talking like yeah i just only like people that sound like me it's like the opposite you want to see someone different from you yeah i don't want to watch me i'm always amazed at how many different ways there are to be funny i know because you have
Starting point is 01:08:16 your style and your voice and your instrument or whatever but then you see somebody do something completely different and you like love it be like oh i oh, I can never do that. And I love that shit. Oh, my God. Well, I'm watching you do these big act outs. I'm like, I would not have the balls. I remember doing like tiny little mics or tiny rooms. And I was watching this comic, Nick Vadorad, who I think he likes. He's a Chicago guy.
Starting point is 01:08:37 So funny. Nick is incredibly funny. And I remember watching him and just being in like awe because he would do the crazy. There'd be six people in the room and he'd be selling it as if it was like a thousand. He'd be like sweating and I'd be dying laughing because he was the balls he had. I know. He'd do these weird bits. I know.
Starting point is 01:08:55 And I mean, the comics talk about like, oh, that bit was brave. I could give a fuck. Like what? Brave to me is like willing to look like a buffoon. Like that's brave. Right right he has that bit about uh he's like you go to the restaurant they're like the catch of the day is a ahi tuna was in whatever and he's like come on put some life into it if i was a waiter i'd be like the catch of the day there i was on the atlantic in a tugboat alone and i was fighting with this thing all day and
Starting point is 01:09:24 night and i shot in the face and then i pulled it in the boat then we fist fought comes with rice and i'm butchering it it was like way more elaborate too it's like and then the pause yeah he i mean he is incredibly funny nick vaderot incredible he did a i think a foul or seth meyer's one of those remember with the set list joke balls brings up the set list and it rolls down the stage. It's so long. It was wacky and original. He's just hilarious.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Yeah, yeah. I love that shit. Sometimes you forget as stand-up comedians that it kind of is a sandbox. It's a white canvas. You can do whatever you want. Obviously, you can tell jokes and people expect that. Do whatever you want. Like, obviously, you can tell jokes, and that's, like, people expect that. But sometimes it's fun if I have an outside-the-box idea,
Starting point is 01:10:12 and it can kind of turn the idea of, like, what stand-up is on its head a little bit. We might be drunk as excited to welcome our new sponsor, Diet Smoke. Most of us have had a, I don't think this edible is working moment. Then 10 minutes later, you're on the couch and you can't remember the word cat. I've been there. Edibles can hit you when you least expect it, and their dosage can be very uncertain. That's why when we need the perfect medium high, we hit our friends at Diet Smoke for the delicious Delta-8 THC gummies.
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Starting point is 01:12:07 It's just right. We Might Be Drunk is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Relationships take work. A lot of us will drop anything to go help someone we care about. We'll go out of our way to treat other people well. But how often do we give ourselves the same treatment? For me, working out or buying some new sneakers as an investment in myself this month better help online therapy wants to remind you to take care
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Starting point is 01:13:13 Yep. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used BetterHelp online therapy. We Might Be Drunk is sponsored by Better help and listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash drunk that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p.com slash drunk you got to do this it's therapy very important take care of yourself it's going to change your life here here it doesn't feel like it's a fun existence to always have to be concerned with like coming off as cool.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Right, right. That seems like exhausting to me. Yeah. Yeah. Even like fashion. I always think about people who are on the bleeding edge of fashion. That just seems exhausting. Yeah, skipping meals, worrying about fittings.
Starting point is 01:13:59 But not only that, just sort of like what is the cool clothes? Like it's so much mental energy to be cool. I know. Do you see Julia Fox with Kanye and all that all that i'm like does this look fun no this doesn't look fun to me clothes don't look good either you know it's funny she has that track you know that one that came out where he's attacking pete or whatever and he goes like something about pete davidson she goes who and in my mind i'm like more people know pete davidson than you yeah yeah i'm clueless but yeah no i'm with you then why are you writing the song i know it's it's all stupid but so funny that kanye west has a diss track about a comic we know i know it's wild it's funny we know a guy fucking kim kardashian
Starting point is 01:14:39 yeah and scarlett johansson by the way that's true we were talking the night to sell it colin joe's great guy great. One of the nicest dudes. Great dude. Great hair. Yeah. Great hair. We were talking about it. We had, it was like me, Sal, and Santino.
Starting point is 01:14:51 We were at this Italian place. Oh, and DeRosa was there too. We were talking about the Pete and Kim. If there's food, DeRosa's there. DeRosa's there. Be real. We were talking about the Pete and Kim thing, and we were just joking, like, how funny is it that, like, a comic broke Kanye?
Starting point is 01:15:04 You know what I mean? Like it was cool than anything else, but like a standup comedian. Yeah. That's so funny. You don't hear about that with like Yakov. Comedy's like cool right now. It's weird.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Yeah. You don't hear about like, like Yakov Smirnoff fucking Waka Fokla's ex-girlfriend. You don't hear about that. That's a headline. Dude, Yakov in Soviet Russia. I guess you get your dick wet. This is crazy. My country. Yaka Fokler's ex-girlfriend. You don't hear about that? Yeah, that's a headline. Dude, Yaka. In Soviet Russia, I guess you get your dick wet.
Starting point is 01:15:27 This is crazy. My country. Yeah. I just think of comics with, like, Louis Anderson, you know, or Drew Carey or something. So it's funny that, like, they're fucking the hottest women. Did you know Louis Anderson at all? I only knew, like, of him. I never got to, like, you know, speak with him personally.
Starting point is 01:15:41 And that's my one regret because we're losing comedians, you know. like every so often we'll lose a great one like Norm. Norm would come by the store and I know Adam Eget really well and I wouldn't want to bother Norm. But I think moving on and, you know, from this point forward, I when I have those opportunities, I want to take them and say hello or be like, I'm a big fan because you may not have that opportunity again and you take these people for granted but life is short and i wish that i would have you know told norm that i'm a big fan and i yeah i appreciate what he does and did you speak to with him at all or no just maybe like a hello and just like a pleasantry in the hallway but not enough to be like yeah like i'm a store you know like i bet so many annoying
Starting point is 01:16:26 comics bug norm and then you're someone who i bet he would have enjoyed talking to and you're like i can't yeah you know but that's why he would enjoy talking it's just kind of this catch 22 yeah i'm too much one way where i should have just been like hey norm i'm a big fan and you know i like what you do the same way yeah i met larry david who's like one of my heroes and i didn't even i saw him from across the room mark you gotta meet norm and i was like what i mean i'm sorry larry david what's up larry david he goes hey how are you and i i didn't want to walk over because i knew he would hate that like just me going all the way across the room and i just couldn't do it to him and of course i want to meet him of course i want to hug him i want to
Starting point is 01:17:04 get a photo with him but i couldn't do it oh him. And of course I want to meet him. Of course I want to hug him. I want to get a photo with him, but I couldn't do it. Wouldn't you be happy if you had that photo right now? Of course, of course. I remember I noticed that Gary Shandling followed me on Twitter. What? And I was like, I should DM him and just say how much I love Larry Sanders. And I just never did it. I was just too cowardly.
Starting point is 01:17:23 Yeah, but don't you kind of wish I did? I wish i just had like some i'm like some acknowledgement that him follow me wasn't an accident like he accidentally hit fall you know i mean he's like he's like who who are you uh no i mean larry sanders was my shit dude and i think his old stand-up is killer i love gary shanley but uh i love the doc the doc was great jerry's killing these docs man i know the carlin one promoting the doc the carlin doc in his new book and uh i mean i thought the carlin doc was incredible too i we've talked about the the shanley one fuck yeah glad he's taking the the reins of just making these killer docs
Starting point is 01:17:56 but that tonight show story really like fucked with me which what was that where he did the tonight show and he just collapsed because like he only thought to the tonight show really like he did he did the thing that he wanted to do and like that happened to me but what's last unleashed i can't i can't make it past here you collapsed in byron allen's arms you go i've reached the summit so you collapsed recently thanks. Anyway, we'll be back. We'll be back. I heard you kissed a boy. It's special. There's my little tease for me kissing a boy. I can't wait. I got to watch.
Starting point is 01:18:31 I was also a boy. I was seven as well. So the worst setups. That's what they all say. I heard you wanted to go to Mars recently. So, you know, I fucked with him. I went on. This is an amazing Norman story, by the way.
Starting point is 01:18:44 I went on. is an amazing norman story by the way i went on and it's so cheesy look i i don't want to shit on the guy because he's you know doing the lord's work whatever but and he's helped a lot of comics yeah he's brilliant man you know it's easy to like dude but yeah he's given comics so many opportunities and like he sees the showbiz matrix and he's rich for a reason like he's a smart guy smart guy but i went on and i was like uh just as a comic instinctively like this is weird this is so off inauthentic and our whole thing is being authentic so he was like so you gotta i hear you have a dog and i was like no i don't have a dog and you could see his whole world is collapsing he's like this is the format we've
Starting point is 01:19:22 done it for 40 years what the fuck are you doing And that was all in his eyes. I was like, no, I don't have a dog. I hate dogs. I'm actually allergic. It's like Temple of Doom. He just rips your fucking heart out. Did he think you had a joke about dogs? Yeah, I wrote it down. I wrote a dog joke down. And then, dude, the best part of this, Mark's even told this part, they do
Starting point is 01:19:39 a group picture with everyone and Mark is doing this. Oh, yeah, yeah. In the group picture i'm like mark what the fuck are you doing yeah so i just couldn't do it it's the it's the opposite of comedy it just felt wrong so that british thing we did is kind of in the same in the same vein it felt kind of comics unleashed yes yes mark did it yeah well because you did it joel is when they were hitting me up to do it, I was like on the fence. But then I saw you were doing it and List was doing it.
Starting point is 01:20:08 Never agree to something because Mark agreed to do it. That's a good point. That's what we've learned. But no, I'm like, oh, this seems legit. Yeah, it was legit. It just wasn't what I thought. It was a little different than the way they pitched it to us. Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 01:20:21 So that's why it was kind of a little like we were doing homework in london i thought i was going to be able to explore and hang out there but you had this giant packet and you're doing a lot of your old material yeah so it's kind of kind of high pressure oh i was just going to be a few like at midnight jokes we had a meeting where he's like are you doing a lot of writing and i was like uh well i'm getting to it he's like you have to write like they they kind of were stern with me like you're you're bombing out there you have to do more work and i was like okay okay what after the first taping yeah yeah he kind of yelled at me a little bit like uh because like i saw the link sounds like a horrible european vacation well it's in a british accent so it's not as abrasive
Starting point is 01:20:58 you go yeah okay they're good at that yeah but it was tough and uh i'm telling my lady like i can't go to big ben i have to write a pun about a book and a meat you know coming together so that was hard yeah she was employed hopefully it'll it'll cut together well because those british panel formats they shoot so you know you're doomed when you're like we'll fix this in the editing kind of hopefully but the editing could be horrible. Like, I had a couple riffs that I was like, yeah, I was proud of that. I finally got to be myself. But I'm sure they'll cut that out.
Starting point is 01:21:30 Yeah. It's a weird, like, that's very popular in London, that British panel show where comics are all at, like, a table and there's little categories and you say these jokes. And it was US versus London. No, it wasn't. The thing is. It was. Oh, it was? Subconsciously, it was.
Starting point is 01:21:44 Because the British kids were a killer. How many? Oh, because that's their jam. That's what I'm saying. versus london no it wasn't the thing is mark it was subconsciously it was because the british kids were a killer how many oh because that's their jam that's what i'm saying that's like their tonight show or it's culturally panel shows they grew up with that and that's like a big thing yeah in london how many british people were on yours uh just two but they were both ringers assassins assassins yeah they would go first like here's the question here's the category and they would be ready and they would have five five killer ones and you'd have two okay ones and then you do four bad ones and those would bomb but theirs would hit i mean it was it was ugly they were getting applause nothing worse when you open with what
Starting point is 01:22:19 you think is your winner and then you're like well here come the fucking duds yeah exactly yeah but the the tape night was three hours and they cut it down to 22 minutes so there'll be some gold that's true that's true yeah they shoot super fat damn yeah by the way these fucking drinks are phenomenal yeah too good no no we got to save some of this for tomorrow you want one uh yeah give it one he needs one save some for uh sagura though too oh. Oh, yeah. We want everyone to try the Bodega Cat until we get the full case. Yeah. Are we just going to drink Bodega Cat every episode of this for a while?
Starting point is 01:22:51 I think we do. I think this just becomes the Bodega Cat pod. We've almost killed a bottle in one ep. Why not? No. You like it. You're a professional bar guy, and you like it. All right.
Starting point is 01:23:03 I think it's going to dazzle some people. I think we got a winner here. I want to have my own malt liquor. I'm going to go the other direction. You guys can do the high shelf stuff. I'm going to be a man of the people. Once again, not ethnic enough. If you were more ethnic, that would really fly off the shelf.
Starting point is 01:23:18 Yeah. I just have a hookah coal that I'm selling. Is it tempting to lean in to the afghan no because like i don't even think that way my brain my brain isn't even uh it's not even integrity i just like i'm a real comic i guess but i i mean whatever strikes me as funny just doesn't happen to lean that way and if you're an observational i'm an observational guy you have great jokes like uber like you'll do jokes about shit that's the everyday experience. And that's kind of how Mark and I write.
Starting point is 01:23:48 I think the issue is sometimes when we're all observational, it's like, fuck, has this been done to death? That's the issue of rebuilding your shit. You want to make sure you have a good angle. Yeah. But I think you do it for long enough, you realize. Because I think when I first started comedy and a joke works, it seems so fleeting. Like, will I be able to do it again but over time you
Starting point is 01:24:08 just kind of accept this truth that I'm wired different or I see the world different I'll let you know when I get there I'm at the point right now where I'm like I'm fucked from the outside looking in you do see the world different so I feel
Starting point is 01:24:24 a little fucked right now. I'll let you know. Everyone has that imposter syndrome. Everyone will always have a shade of it. But I think there's this thing that happens when you do comedy for long enough where you just realize, oh, I perceive the world a little differently than. So even if you're talking about a well-tread topic, your angle is going to be different than anybody else's angle. Yeah. Because you're Sam.
Starting point is 01:24:47 I got to get to work. Sure. I really got to get to work. But this fucking. But where are we going? That's the other thing. We worry about comedy. And I should take my own advice.
Starting point is 01:24:56 But we're not going anywhere. You just put out a special. Both of you guys doing specials. It's like five years will go by. There'll be another one. And another one. You know, we're in this for the long game. Yeah. And it's like five years ago by there'll be another one yeah another one you know we're we're in this for the long game yeah and it's like i i really am having fun i was texting
Starting point is 01:25:09 mark the other day you know he's texting me after my special and he's like you know just being supportive you know your friends are supportive and i said hey you know uh i'm grateful i really am like you know you have good friends a good family i like where my career is at like i'm kind of like i'm trying to just enjoy my life right now and just you know i just did the beacon he just did a letterman letterman thing it's fucking amazing i mean this guy's rolling yeah hey oh you guys as well i mean shit you and and it's cool it's life is all right right now you know like this is fun this is work i'm drinking with yeah i'm drinking with people i enjoy and this is a fucking job yeah sometimes you have to remind yourself of that because you'll
Starting point is 01:25:45 hop on instagram when you wake up and i i have i know you have to remind yourself this is like a big moment for me where i realize you can't do all the cool things no one can do all the cool things like you might look at some stuff and you go oh that looks cool that looks cool but it's not a multiverse where you get to do every fucking thing in the world you're doing cool shit that people envy you're doing cool shit that people envy like i'm doing cool shit you can't do it all yeah and also you i don't want to do it all yeah you don't want to do it all i'm already exhausted yeah i came here hungover i'm not like you know and think we have the internet at our fingertips. I hate the internet because it's so mean and so toxic and whatever. But, I mean, just think how much more you can do now.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Like, my parents are like, you're doing this? You flew here? Are you tired? I'm like, no, I'm doing the road. Like, you flew to Indianapolis and then you're going back on Sunday? I mean, you're taking a break, right? I'm like, oh, I got a spot at the cellar. Like, you have a spot tonight?
Starting point is 01:26:43 Oh, my God. They're like, I like this, though. I like it. I i want to pack as much in i look at life is fleeting i'm like we're gonna die but you do have to reset sometimes of course of course i do the same thing where i like i land and i go to the cellar and i'm like i needed it to take a night like sometimes i get that because you also need to live like you're talking about top gun i'm like i haven't got dude i haven't seen been to i used to go to the movie theater like once a week. That's true. I haven't been to, this is the last movie I saw in the theater, 1918. No, it was 1917.
Starting point is 01:27:10 1917. Did you see the sequel? I saw the sequel. It was one year later. You haven't been to the theater since 1918? Holy shit. That's a great movie to see in the theater, by the way. It's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, fucking incredible, but that's the last time I saw a movie in the theater.
Starting point is 01:27:25 And that was like three years ago. We're busy. We're lucky that we do stand up and our scenery is changing all the time. I had this writing job for about a year, year and a half. What were you writing on? It's not United States of Al, that Chuck Lorre show. Two girls, one cup. It's okay.
Starting point is 01:27:40 It's interesting when you write. Is he cool, Chuck Lorre? You know what's interesting is we operate in the world of stand-up and and we're all like hip and savvy and think we're on the cutting edge of comedy and shit and it's easy to be like oh chuck lori shows or whatever it's not my cup it's not like a cool thing let's say but when he would come into the room for rewrites there is a brilliance no to what he does two and a half men's one of the biggest shows of all time two and a half men big bang theory mike and molly i don't know if he did all those wow he he prints money the guy is who he is for a reason and it was very cool to to see that in person because
Starting point is 01:28:19 it's easy to be like that's over here that's a different thing than what i'm doing but when he would come in he sees the nice guy nice enough like people yeah he's a nice guy but he is just so busy and so rich that he doesn't have the time to like kid kid gloves yeah yeah exactly you know what i mean because his time is very very valuable yeah so i understood it um do you like the writer's room experience i mean you're such a comic i feel like you would hate it yeah exactly so i'm it came during the pandemic so it was cool to have that when the world shut down and we couldn't really go on stage and because i i never tried to get staffed when i was a comic just because i love stand-up and acting and i love the shit changing all the time but this came it was easy they were the eps were fans of of me and they just offered it to me
Starting point is 01:29:05 and i was like yeah cool there's nothing you know the world shut down and i got to learn a bunch of stuff but after doing it that long i kind of realized i can't it felt like boeing because i used to work at boeing as an aerospace engineer yeah yeah so it felt like joke boeing whoa joeing joeing wow because you come at you're at a conference table for 10 hours every day. You have an office. What? There's a break room. Oh.
Starting point is 01:29:29 So it kind of- It's not you. Nightmare. I mean, you talk about acting and stuff. I mean, you were in that Tina Fey movie, right? Yeah, yeah. Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot. How did that happen?
Starting point is 01:29:38 That was just auditioning. Yeah. I've never gotten anything off an audition in my life. Really? Have you? Not one. Not any acting thing I've gotten. They've been like, yeah, I like you. Just come here.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Dude, but honestly, that is where it's at. Anything that I've booked just off of an audition, as I look back on it, I'm like, whoa, that's fucking insane. Yeah, the odds are so small. Yeah, the odds are so small to have no champions. Hook up some nepotism, dude. Shit. Yeah, I have nothing. Was Tina Fey cool? Yeah, she was super
Starting point is 01:30:06 nice. Martin Freeman was really cool, too. He's a great actor. Great actor, super nice. We had T. Alfred Molina, so nice. Oh, he's good. That dude always delivered. Dude. I'm not a huge superhero movie guy, but Spider-Man 2, he's phenomenal. Yeah, he's great. Margot Robbie was in it, too.
Starting point is 01:30:22 So the thing is, I think she was getting ready for Birds of Prey or maybe it was- That's a good movie. No, it was earlier than that. Birds of Prey is a solid superhero flick. This was the first Suicide Squad. Darker. She was getting ready for that.
Starting point is 01:30:33 Okay. What is it? So she had Suicide Squad, the first one. I never saw it. So she was trying to get fit and the personal, she was like kind of ducking the personal trainer. So me and the personal trainer became really good friends. Dude, if she's ducking a personal trainer, what shot do we have?
Starting point is 01:30:47 I know, right? You think I'm going to fucking show up? She's naturally gifted. She's like beautiful. Yeah, she doesn't need the personal trainer. So hot in Wolf of Wall Street. I know. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:30:57 God damn. But me and the trainer became good friends and we were just like hanging around New Mexico for like a month. So you were there for a while yeah well that's the thing with hollywood is sometimes you'll shoot a movie and they want you there for a month even though you only have three shoot days total that's another you're going crazy there without kind of i'm going bonkers i'm not getting up in new mexico you don't you don't get up i think marin started there yeah what uh yeah, yeah, any memories from working with Tina Fey? Like any moments? She was nice enough.
Starting point is 01:31:28 You know, it was around that time period when the blue dress, yellow dress thing was happening. Remember on the internet? Oh, that was a while ago. That was a while ago, yeah. And there was a cast dinner. So I met Lorne because I think it was through Broadway videos. So I met Lorne Michaels. Did you ever want to do SNL?
Starting point is 01:31:44 Yeah, that's why I got into stand-up. I mean, he's prime. You're built for it. You're built for it. My best friend is on it, Aristotle. He can't get you in. So he was part of, yeah. Now I sound like your uncle.
Starting point is 01:31:53 No, I didn't. You can go. But it's one of those things where- Come to New York, man. When you're younger, you have these idealized versions of what it is, but then you get older, and you go-
Starting point is 01:32:02 Would you move to New York ever? For SNL, you us if i had a job but i don't have this rope like it's fun i like visiting this has been fantastic yeah but i don't know if it like speaks to my soul like i gotta live out here regardless sure i get that can't tell me la speaks to your soul la doesn't speak to my soul but it's uh i'm a west i like space i like my car i like my music no i like my music. No, I hear that. Here, it's... And your folks are in Seattle.
Starting point is 01:32:27 Yeah, so it's easy to fly up and see them. For sure. I get that. Here, your car is like your AirPods. Right? People put the headphones in as their slight barrier to everybody else. Yes, yes. Because there's no physical barrier, so you need to put the headphones in.
Starting point is 01:32:41 Oh, that's good. This is the physical barrier. You're on the subway. Kind of. Back the fuck off. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Yeah, there's nothing. This is the physical barrier. You're on the subway. Kind of. Back the fuck off. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Yeah, there's nothing. I love having people around that I don't have to talk to,
Starting point is 01:32:50 but I like that they're there. I feel the same way. That was a part of the Carl and Doc I really related to where he was like he needed his friends around, but he didn't want to speak to them. I was like, oh, my God, that's what I do. I'm like, come over, and then my friend's just there, and I'm like.
Starting point is 01:33:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like having the TV on. Yeah. Working on notes. Yeah, right. It's like having the TV on. Yeah. Working on notes. Yeah. I need you over there. Right. It's like when you leave the radio on for the dog.
Starting point is 01:33:10 Oh, my God. I need noise, too. On the road, I'll leave the TV on. I just want noise. Same. Where'd you grow up? Where did you grow up? I'm from the city.
Starting point is 01:33:20 You're from New York? Yeah. And you? He's normal. What about you? I'm from New Orleans. Ah. This is crazy.
Starting point is 01:33:28 So I've known your stuff for so long, and I feel like I know you fairly well. Same here, dude. But we've never actually sat down and talked. I know. We talk when I see you. A little bit in the hallway at the store. In the hallway, I see you. And I'm always so happy when you come by the store, because I never get to see you guys. Back at you.
Starting point is 01:33:39 I mean, it's always good to see you, you know. But yeah, but it's funny. When do you have your first conversation? A podcast. that's a big part of why we do this we get to hang out and how often you get to really talk with because you know we're all socially awkward and on the on the run and doing sets even on the run well even at a comedy club you're not really able to talk you know like oh i'm on in two minutes sorry yeah we're gotta go. We're talking about movies, too. On the road, people are like, you must see movies on the road. I feel guilty wasting those weekends.
Starting point is 01:34:10 I know, I know. I feel like I have to be productive during the day on the road. Like, I'll go get a bite or something, but I want to have something new to say at those shows. Totally. And if I'm going to the movies, I just, like, but then I'm like, when do you go to the movies? I love going to the movies. We have less time. I mean, podcasting is really – it takes hours and hours.
Starting point is 01:34:28 And then you got to write. You got to tweet. You got to post clips. You got to do stand-up. Sometimes I envy old Hollywood where you could be Humphrey Bogart and you do a film and people – He did die at like 58 though. That's true. He died young.
Starting point is 01:34:42 And then Sinatra was like nursing him when he was dying and then he totally banged Lauren Bacall. They were boys. There was a cool thing where people only knew you through your art. I would love for that. I know but nowadays accessibility is the new mystique.
Starting point is 01:35:00 I don't know if that's true. The only person who could do mystique is... who's the cobbler the actor Sandler no uh isn't he the cobbler he's in that like phantom thread Daniel Day-Lewis yes ah he's like
Starting point is 01:35:16 the last guy who they will allow to do that he retired young I mean he'll be back yeah but no one's asking Daniel Day-Lewis to live tweet the movie. Can you imagine that person? That's true. Daniel, can you tweet this?
Starting point is 01:35:32 Can you do an IG live? He just answers as Daniel Plainview. Shut the fuck up. Jesus. I will drink your milkshake from Five Guys. Dude, you know, I don't know i'm with you i love old hollywood shit and i love mark and i talk about movies on this podcast non-stop we're obsessed with like old timey like old nicholson shit and like how cool that time period was and that era of like robert evans and
Starting point is 01:36:00 yeah nicholson you see that the kid stays in the picture? I read the book. I heard the doc's amazing. It's amazing. I gotta watch it. Robert Evans was just fucking hilarious. That's one of the best docs. One of the coolest. I gotta watch the doc.
Starting point is 01:36:13 He's a legend. Yeah, just him on the phone and he's giving an interview about him on a phone call and he still says the slurs. He's like, tell that fucking Polack I won't work for that amount of money.
Starting point is 01:36:24 I got the best kikes in Hollywood over here. You're like, Jesus Christ, you're just saying this in an interview. I love one of the stories about him arguing with the agent of Faye Dunaway. They were like friends, but they hated each other. But it was that old Hollywood, like, I like you, but go fuck yourself on. And she was trying to get Faye Dunaway's money up for Chinatown. He was like, go fuck yourself. We got Jane F get faye dunway's money up for chinatown he was like go fuck yourself we got all we got jane fonda interested you can go fucking eat shit and then like the next day he's like this is the lowest this is the only money we'll do it was like
Starting point is 01:36:55 wait she's like if i take that money to faye dunway she'll fire me and she'll be right he's like fuck you that's the offer and then and then the next day she's like all right you're gonna be nuts but faye dunway took it and he goes i never made jane fonda an offer i was wrong you know so That's the offer. And then the next day she's like, all right, you're going to be nuts. But Faye Dunaway took it. And he goes, I never made Jane Fonda an offer. I was wrong. So it's like all this bullshit and all these games. I loved it. He's the kind of guy who wears a crazy suit.
Starting point is 01:37:14 And he's eating dinner at lunch or eating lunch with the fucking napkin in his shirt. He's all in. He's got a phone on one arm on his shoulder. Look at him. He's by the pool. You got to see this. Doc. dude he was uh he's a legend he's those the movies he made were fucking i mean godfather rosemary's baby was a risk and he went for it but those days are over now it's all right i got to talk every day for a lot of reasons yeah i mean you're right though hollywood had mystique but now
Starting point is 01:37:45 celebrities are completely uh what's the touch out of touch it's like well you watch the oscars video it's like it's not cool i mean yeah it used to be cool yeah it's jim carrey nailed it when he said like we used to be the cool club and we're not it's like yeah dude i mean you watch the oscars now and you're like give us a fuck i mean like madonna's doing this shit yeah well i think the pandemic revealed that a lot of actors need writers because we worship actors in this country and it's like man we should be worshiping writers a little more like writers are cooler to me honestly you know i always uh once you become a writer on a show you kind of see see this difference between the actors and the writers. They're two different worlds.
Starting point is 01:38:27 They make the same thing, but it's different lunch tables, right? Oh, yeah. And whenever it comes to a popular show, a lot of times people would try to ask the actor and be like, so what happens in season three? Do you have any spoilers for us? Yeah. And the actors are like, oh, I can't really say. If you DM'd any of the writers and said what goes on in season three, they would tell you everything
Starting point is 01:38:47 because they're just so excited anybody even knows who they are. But this is where stand-up... You're both. That's what I'm saying. I was visiting. I was visiting with the writing. It was cool.
Starting point is 01:38:58 I learned a lot. But I think what's cool about doing those things is you learn what you want out of life and what your speed is. Yeah. And I like that I was able to lay down some writing track. Sure. But I think I just – I love how, okay, we're doing a gig here in London.
Starting point is 01:39:14 And then we're doing a show in Jersey or something. Your scenery is changing all the time. Yes, yes, exactly. I just knew I couldn't be in a room for – No way. You blink and it's 10 years later. Exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:39:26 And you get your nice lunch and the pay is good and, you know, you have your coffee there. But I'd rather be living. Yeah. I'd rather be out moving. I like not knowing what's happening. I've learned to love the road. I really have. Like, it's a sickness.
Starting point is 01:39:38 But when you go, it's funny, people are like, every week, I'm like, that's kind of the only way I can do it. It's almost like painful to take two weeks off and then just go on on the road like if i'm out there every week i'm like man it's part of my week yeah and also i think we we did it hard like in my 20s i went hard i mean i drank every night i tried to get laid all the time and all this shit and like now i'm on the road and you ever you ever stay in new york or la on a saturday and everybody's fucked up drunk yeah yeah she's falling off the sidewalk i'm disciplined on the road in new york city i'm like my friends You ever stay in New York or L.A. on a Saturday and everybody's fucked up? As drunk as I ever get. Yeah, she's falling off the sidewalk. I'm disciplined on the road. In New York City, I'm like, my friends are hitting me up.
Starting point is 01:40:09 They're like, meet me at this bar. I'm like, all right. I'm fucking wasted. Exactly. It's built for alcoholism, though. That's the thing about New York, you know? It is, yeah. Just hit the subway, 4 a.m.
Starting point is 01:40:19 It really is. Right. The pizza. Even London. When you're in London, everyone's just in suits. The culture, the pub culture. I was just talking about it. Everyone's off of work and they're drinking pints.
Starting point is 01:40:28 That's just what you do. But then at 9 o'clock, the city's dead. Topping me off. They try to get food after 10. Dude. It was crazy. Dude, I was trying to eat dinner and everything closes after 9. I know, I know.
Starting point is 01:40:39 I'd have to get a room service, which was $8 million. These are so good. You want one there? Did he get one? He's going to get one right now all right peters you good yeah people are oh yeah we've gone long sorry oh people are kind of whatever about the show you know like my stand-up is very different than what the sitcom is you kind of learn to be a team player as well just yeah i'll add whatever i can to the team project you're just a play you're like a role player right so like this show is different than what i do stand up wise you
Starting point is 01:41:11 know yeah you ever like you ever think of a really killer joke and you're like i ain't giving it to this shit no because they're like two different things i don't think there's something so fire that i would do that i'm like oh this would be great for the show and that's the thing about writing um for tv shows it's a little more manufactured because you have these list of characters and you know what sets you have to use like the living room um the garage with this show on it was not for like two seasons but when you write for sitcoms what actors were on uh uh hank from breaking bad was on it oh he's great farrah mckinney and that fucking character on breaking bad amazing one of the most heartbreaking because you you watch that show and out of the gate you're like this cheesy guy and then by the end you're like ah he's the only decent one you know so i'm in one episode of
Starting point is 01:42:03 this like it was cool they let all right they let me yeah be in one of the episodes and i i had some scenes with hank you know yeah dean norris dean norris nice guy great guy and so we're around this dinner table and i just i told him i go gattaca is one of my favorite movies in the world and he's like oh thanks man yeah and i like that because i think that's a deep cut he probably doesn't get Gattaca that much. Yes. But Gattaca speaks to my soul. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:28 I just love that movie. Interesting. If anyone meets for him, say, I loved your CISO special. Exactly. I'll start crying. I'll start crying. Like, oh, fuck. You put up with the paywall.
Starting point is 01:42:40 That's so true. You knew how to download CISO. But it's good you did it. You got to see what the world is like of writing. And you realize it's not for you it's all bricks you're just building and you um even if you do something and you realize okay maybe i don't want to do that in the future at least you know now but don't you see i mean you worked on tv we just did this show in london tv now after doing like youtube specials and our own shit and clips and whatever, podcasts like this, you realize how much of a waste of time half that shit is with network.
Starting point is 01:43:13 Well, the waiting around, right? There's an inauthenticity to it. I'm not saying everything should be this loose. Obviously, I appreciate a great movie. We talk about how much we love the worst person in the world. What a great movie. Sure, but I bet that felt independent yeah that's what i'm saying like this this london show there's a warm-up guy whoo give me a big laugh now give me a smaller give me a
Starting point is 01:43:34 and you're like what are we doing the lights the crew we got to take off okay union rules we all got to go to lunch now and you're like we could have knocked this out in an hour you know we're here for 10 hours you're right it feels like tv old tv feels like buckshot and this shit feels like a sniper there you go right because you get to be funny right but uh within within reason with yeah yeah i mean look at conan conan had a fun late night show we all loved it we all loved conan and now he just said fuck that i'll do a podcast they'll get the same interview they'll get the same me maybe a little better me more authentic me yeah and it's zero camera zero production zero makeup zero i still love there's something i loved about doing letterman though where i'm like i'm doing this for an audience like there's something that makes you turn your shit on
Starting point is 01:44:24 when there's an audience in the room i like you know well there's something that makes you turn your shit on when there's an audience in the room i like you know well there's no audience for conan's podcast that's what i mean like conan's so quick and funny and he's such a master at not just being an interviewer but like knowing his role in the interview like is the guy a dud is the person a dud he'll be funny yeah is the person norm mcdonald or bill burr he'll sit back and be the straight man you're right like there's something to that that's an art agreed and i really do doing the letterman thing i was kind of like wow this is what it would have been like to be a comic in like the 80s and i kind of wish that's what i was because i love doing an interview and just having to be like riff jokes and be funny and like i love
Starting point is 01:44:59 this but i love that you're like you're in and out like it's quick it's like for sure totally it is no i love an audience i agree but i think a lot of it is is unnecessary with with tv well the amount of shit people want now is kind of interesting like i mean it's fine i guess you know those shows were every night and podcasts we do once a week but like yeah you know i mean that's a full-time job yeah oh yeah for sure and just like the covid stuff and the makeup the covid shit's exhausting well brutal and it's hypocritical because it's like you're not going to require masks on planes but then you force us to take a test to get back in the country there's no consistency with it so just be a little fucking consistent it'd be nice i don't want to do any i did toronto i don't want to do any more foreign gigs yeah same because i the idea of just
Starting point is 01:45:49 testing positive and being stuck there for 10 fucking days makes me crazy i'm like i'll stick to doing it's hard enough to do gigs domestically right and then when you throw in these covid like hey i gotta get a pcr test and soda stuck in winnipeg you know it was stuck in winnipeg for 10 days really yeah dan soda and then you know it was stuck in winnipeg for 10 days really yeah dan soda and then you know vito and i gary vito when we do toronto second we land we go find a covet test because we're there for one night i'm like yeah i don't this is not how i want to do this yeah they should provide you with a covet test if you're doing the gig but you know covet kind of uh it pulled the veneer off of these institutions that we just sort of because when
Starting point is 01:46:24 like fallon was doing Tonight Show at his place, then you didn't have the fancy sets. You didn't have the suits. You didn't have the gloss. You go, oh, you're no better than a YouTuber at this point. It really leveled the playing field. You got that right. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:37 And I think late night post-COVID feels more artificial. Way more. It feels faker. It's so fun to do, and I still enjoy doing it. Sure. But you're 100% right. Because we saw the strings. Yes.
Starting point is 01:46:52 We saw it without gloss. Right. So now it's more of a relic of- We saw you without makeup. Yeah, a little bit. When you see Trevor Noah in his living room. We know what you really look like. Yeah, Noah in the living room.
Starting point is 01:47:04 He had a five o'clock shadow. He's wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. really look like. Yeah. Yeah. Noah in the living room. He had like a five o'clock shadow. He's wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. You're like, oh. Yeah. During COVID, everyone had the same tools. Right. Good point. Good point.
Starting point is 01:47:15 I mean, we all saw the Imagine video or the black and white whatever video where they're like, I've learned a lot. I've been educated. You're like, oh, God. Jesus. Yeah. A lot of people're like, oh, God. Jesus. Yeah, a lot of people will be like, you didn't know black people existed before this year? Exactly. This is the first year?
Starting point is 01:47:29 Jesus Christ. I always like when Black Panther or Crazy Rich Asians does good, and then Hollywood's like, oh, people, races want to see themselves? Like, this is a fucking revelation that people, that black people want to see Black Panther or Asians want to see. It's not even Asians. It's just people want to see a good movie regardless of representation's good wow i didn't know yeah i mean it's uh also you know i think about his fucking chadwick boseman just being sick as fuck doing those movies poor poor bastard yeah such a such a cool dude he seemed
Starting point is 01:48:00 like i know why did i say that like yoda such a cool man he seemed like well that's no penicillin no but he was you know to be that sick is like hey that's pretty amazing to be sick and to still plow through and we're talking about those schedules the way they just drag everything out like that dude was there probably long ass days oh yeah never to and we live in this victim culture too and to not even use it then i mean he could have gotten out of everything i can't go to your party cancer sorry yeah can't do it and he still did it can't go to the red carpet cancer although you know it'd be a cool move is to just be like i can't make it and they're like why not you're like i just can't and then you die
Starting point is 01:48:40 a few years later and they're they're shit talking you for years then they're like oh no yes I've been trashing that guy for years make them feel like shit I'm doing that now with monkey pox turn everything down it's coming oh you butt fuck me
Starting point is 01:48:54 that means I have it god damn it alright happy pride happy pride alright well hey good pride
Starting point is 01:49:01 really seems to care for him thanks plug everything you're doing. Are you on the road? Your website? Talk to me. So the special is the big thing.
Starting point is 01:49:09 So it's called Hat Trick. It's on my YouTube, Fahim Anwar. YouTube.com slash Fahim Anwar. I'll chop it up for clips on IG, you know. Every clip I've seen is killer. I haven't seen the full special yet. I'm excited to watch it. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:49:21 Fahim's a great comic. We highly recommend it. It means a lot coming from you guys, you know, because I really respect you. And especially when you were sort of pioneers of this new way of doing things. It was very cool. There were others before us. I know. Like Schultz and Joe and you guys.
Starting point is 01:49:37 But you guys are definitely at the forefront of this new thing that's happening in stand-up. this new thing that's happening in standup. So as someone who kind of felt overlooked by traditional Hollywood and the industry, I had a vested interest in, in you guys doing what you're doing. And it's almost like someone breaking a four minute mile. You go, Oh,
Starting point is 01:49:55 cool. Like it's possible. It can be done. So yeah, I've, you know, I've always been a fan from afar and it's cool to be out here and be on this and kind of be in the same world.
Starting point is 01:50:04 We like you. Yeah. But, but don't put it back on us. Tell them what you's cool to be out here and be on this kind of be in the same world we like you yeah but but don't put it back on us no tell them what you're gonna be mark being sincere comes out so painfully that we like you i know i'm like you guys it's like hard to get the comments or whatever but yeah it's real website the website my website is fahimanoir.com okay but yeah if you just type in comedy store hat trick the special will come up take Take a look at it. Follow me on IG. And I'll be building the new hour around LA. But I'll try to get a tour together maybe in the fall. All right.
Starting point is 01:50:32 Beautiful. All right. Well, check him out. We support. We're fans. We like you. Ditto. Ditto.
Starting point is 01:50:38 Big fan. All kinds of dates coming up. I don't know when this comes out. Keep going. Yeah, a bunch of doing the fully loaded tour with Bert. Then, oh boy, gotta go show all dates. We got a big announcement with
Starting point is 01:50:53 more. We got doing the Wilbur, doing the Neptune in Seattle. Hey, come open if you want. I don't know if that's weird to have you open. Not at all, man. I love going home. We'd love to have you. And Portland, I'm doing Vancouver, Toronto, man i don't know if that's weird to have no not at all man but yeah we'd love to have you and uh portland i'm doing vancouver toronto uh some other shit houston improv san antonio lol comedy on broadway and lexington comedy on broadway's underrated good club you got to play
Starting point is 01:51:18 there it's excellent where is it it's in lexington kentucky it's awesome it's epic it's like the room is magical. It's great. It's old school. Someone should film a special there. Comedy Connection. Wise Guys is great, too. All these rooms are great. Providence.
Starting point is 01:51:30 Yeah, I got, what do I have coming up? Cleveland. Maybe this next week. Houston. West Palm Beach. Buffalo. San Jose. Pittsburgh.
Starting point is 01:51:39 Or Homestead, apparently. Oof. Dania Beach. That's actually a decent room. No, it is good. I've been there. I'm the reason comics can't do morning radio there anymore thank you no morning tv i mean i cause the scene on the morning show
Starting point is 01:51:51 you're like carlin dude you can't do this uh lots of other gigs coming you know la irvine um louisville lexington uh fuck dude i'm everywhere it's coming up you have fort wayne uh i don't know it'll be up soon doing a lot of fun stuff coming up i think it's monster energy tour so they're they have the dates i forgot my own fucking dates but uh same we've been drinking we've been drinking we might be drunk yeah we might be drunk pot it uh i am it's not a mite i i am we might be drunk. Yeah. We might be drunk pod at. I am. It's not a mite. I am. We might be drunk. We might be drunk pod.com if you want our cool merch. Bodega cats on the way.
Starting point is 01:52:31 Beer Jew. We love you. Thank you. Thank you so much, man. We're grateful for the new studio. This is awesome. You know, we'll see you on the road. And the Patreon, too, if you want to get on that.
Starting point is 01:52:42 Give out the website. We might be drunk pod dot com. Yes. Send us Rex Peeves questions and yeah get on the Patreon and get a glass for Christ's sake. We're having a good time. Definitely check out Fahim's special.
Starting point is 01:52:55 He's a great comic. Killer. We'll see you guys out there. Comedy. Sunday's the day for my next bender. I've made a fever wreck. You know the fear juice pops. Comedy. Cops coming and naked Samuel is feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. And I get down in the same way.
Starting point is 01:53:37 We might be true.

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