We're Here to Help - 105: Liberty Not Mutual

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about a family member dating an NFL player, an annoying jingle that comes with your name and a husband who doesn’t close car doors. Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. We are back with the golf with the shark. Yes, shark. Shark, what's the shirt you're wearing, bud? Parliament cigarettes. No, I bought one, buddy. I bought four. The one that's the sponsor. Oh, Quince.

Yes, that one's way better. Yes. All right, buddy. Hey, we. The one that's the sponsor. Oh, Quince. Yes, that one's way better. Yes. All right, buddy. Hey, we're not here to talk about cigarettes and advertising. I do have a hybrid of both of your shirts right now. This feels kind of like I got the gray tee, which Gareth's rocking. I got a Jake-style shirt.

Look how well. You've kind of got in the middle. By the way, Gareth and I, we have probably both forgot to do our orders, but we got to get some of that Quince gear I've ordered mine. It's been delivered. Yeah, I'm on the road Mine's been delivered. All right, then I got to do it. Yeah All right for new listeners or people who might have missed it I made a big bet with Jake and Gareth that I could lose 20 pounds in three months by my birthday I've been working out a ton. I have a personal trainer and I have a video message that I have not watched yet.

We did a weigh in today and I told him don't don't tell me anything so he just hold on hold on hold on. Yeah hold on what was your starting weight again? 203. And you were saying you wanted 183? Yeah. And when is your birthday? August 23rd three weeks. Okay, so you should be at this point in about 190 Yes, I bet he's lower. He's lost a lot of weight. You think he's lost 13. I mean he's smoking Parliament's

He's looking trim. I mean the guys he's he's dropped some LB's. Yeah I mean the guys he's he's dropped some LB's. Yeah, he has dropped some LB's. He looks good. Watch the vid. I agree. Hey, how's it going? How's it going? So my name is Eli. I'm Kevin's personal trainer for LA Fitness and Be honest. Yeah, Kevin's been killing it. He's been staying consistent And he's just been making sure he's been doing eating the right foods and everything So basically he doesn't know what his numbers are Basically what we're supposed to do is I was supposed to tell you what his Numbers are so come on shark when he first started his body fat was 30.1 percent now is at

28.5 percent better his BMI was at 28.3 now is at 27 his weight was at 197.6 and now it is 188.4 and now his muscle percentage was at 33.5% now is at 36.3. So he's definitely been putting that work in and yeah I got zero complaints he's probably one of the better clients I have and you can tell he wants it so if you ever want to hit me up my Instagram is Eli.coffeei one against Eli period kofi one and yeah, take care yourself

Wow, Kevin hold on hold on. He's five away. I gotta be real but he's not five away Garf Yeah, he's still 197 or you say is that you're saying you said to us 203. You're a liar He's he said 197 that's minus six pounds. Therefore, your 183 has to be 177. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're meeting rule book. I just went like this, hey guys,

I'm gonna lose 15 pounds in a week. Right now I weigh 350 pounds. Put me on a scale. I lost 150 pounds. We did our first weigh in, we did our first weigh in like 10 days into training with him. I was a bad idea. We did not do day one.

Especially for the bet. We did not do a day one weigh in. Okay. So I will say, I will say Eli sounds great. He seems great. You know, a a lot is changing things are going great. Yeah, you have lost from my calculations as a math guy Yeah, nine pounds. Yeah 15 for me, but nine to you. Yeah. Yeah Yeah So you've got technically five more pounds, not 11 more pounds is what you say.

I think I went from 203 to 188 and I got eight more to go. So everything's looking good and I have to go soon because I got to do my big walk. Pretty good. Well, I will say this. I will say that it's interesting. It's impressive. You look good, but I'm with I'm with Gareth's interesting. And there's going to be a lot of text messages about it's just interesting. That's all it is is interesting. And will I I know also say Eli did seem to be under some duress. I don't know what was going on in the past. He was he was reading the stats. He's also talking about like the BMI all this other stuff. It felt like he was being threatened.

It felt like someone was the car feeding him lines. That's all I'm saying. I mean, Eli, are you OK? It's interesting is all it is. I'm great. I'm great. I look good. I feel good. You look buddy. You look great. It's just interesting that it was an energy to Eli. And it's just interesting. Yeah. So here I will say, Bet Schmidt, we're just happy you're doing well.

But I mean, as far as it's interesting, it's interesting. It's this is very positive. It's good for the shark. It's interesting. This is very positive. It's good for the shark. It's good for the show. Yeah. It did create another thing that Gareth and I talked about post the Patreon out when we were walking, and that is the shark is an onion,

and when you keep peeling it, it keeps getting more interesting. It's an endless onion. That's all it is. Whenever you think you're gonna get a straight answer, they go like this. He said, I have written down 203, now it's 197. Now we wait in a week after. So the first one, I'm like, oh, it's a shark. Jake, just not trying to take him aside. They go like this he said I have written down 203 now. It's 197 now though

We wait in a week after so the first one I'm like tonight Jake just not trying to take him said when did you write down 203 when he said 203 when we did the bet? Yeah, he told me he started at 203 and he was gonna get to 180 Kevin. We're happy. It's interesting. That's all and maybe Maybe we talk to you. I don't know. It's interesting. It's all it's interesting I'm afraid there's now a new bet that's going that has just occurred that is now You know what the bet is is when you're gonna be honest with us. Yeah We're happy. I I bet you'll keep breaking my heart with your lies We're happy if you accept that bet. Absolutely. Yeah, that's a great bet. I think it's, I just think it's interesting. It's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.

It's just interesting. Yeah, so. This show is exhausting. This show, that's what I'm saying. This show is taking on, we are a year in and I'm already like, they're out to get me. Without further ado.

Further ado. Adieu. Adieu. Buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, Adieu. Hello. Hi, how are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Good. Welcome to the show. We're happy to have you.

Can we get your name and where you're calling from? My name is Dani and I'm calling from Charlotte, North Carolina. Dani from Charlotte. And what can we do for you today, Danny from Charlotte? Okay, so just a little bit of backstory first. I live with my sister who is absolutely beautiful, amazing, gorgeous. She is single for a couple years now

and recently got connected to an NFL player. What team? And so they're getting- Panthers. I fear that I shouldn't say just for the sake of just getting back to him because I don't want him to think I'm insane. Hey Danny what division? Position. Whose team is their rival honey? Let us deduce. Yeah I could get this guy in three guesses you just got to give me a region of United States.'s he right what was 40 time at the combine let's go there

I'll be talking about you talk about four chicks okay I know who it is hey we got you right yeah you're if it's pricey that's shot okay we'll call this person Bryce young okay your sister who's super hot is dating Bryce Young. Okay. Yeah, right on point. Um, so the thing is, is we're in North Carolina and he lives in another state. And so she has been going to, I honestly don't know or else I would tell you, I showed you how big of a football fan I am. But she has been going

to meet him, but eventually he is coming to meet her and that's coming up soon, which means I'll be meeting him soon. And I'm not so much concerned as how to keep my cool because I don't really know that much about football. But more so my question is, is what can I do to intimidate him when I meet him? You mean you want to like You want to have an air of like you're not at all Rattled by the fact that this is an NFL player which Jake and I can probably empathize with honestly me more than Jake Jake's like pretty seems to be pretty cool when it comes to this stuff. But I'm like, I'm still a weirdo. You are.

So yeah, I was a really big weirdo when I went to a basketball game when I used to be a huge Bulls fan with Eric Edelstein and Tyson Chandler was there. He met his fan seven feet one. I'd watched him get drafted and Eric claims, which I don't think happened, but he said Tyson Chandler was talking to Eric snuck us into the family section because he used to get fake cards that look like media. I sure we would just sit with all the families meeting each other and Eric and I were like waiting for the guy who never came out. But we were standing right next to Tyson Chandler and his family and Eric claims I just put my hand on Tyson Chandler's back and then Eric went hey, what are you doing? I don't believe it happened that way. But anyhow touch him. Yeah, I don't that's not how I remember it

But that has been a story. I've you know, like how we always tease each other Yes, that is every once in a while will be in a restaurant He'll be like just don't put your hand on someone's back you weirdo and I'm like, I don't even know He had fluff on it. So Danny the question of this is your sister's dating a football player We somehow for some reason got the details that she's hot and amazing I thought that was gonna be towards the end, but she just happens to be a hot lady who's amazing Sure, she met this guy they dating. She goes to and what city does he play in again? Just so I can get the back story. The team is fine. Just somewhere

in the US. Okay. I found a job. Yeah. Joe Barrow. Could it be a Chicago? Oh my God. You got it. Well, we don't consider them to be NFL players, but it could be. Walk a walk a walk. I got a perm. Wait a second. Which one is the bear with a perm that does walk a walk on the Muppets? Isn't there Fozzie? Fozzie have no. There was a hat. OK, never mind. OK, I'm not going down that road because I know I'm not going to have the right

info and I got excited for a second But I'm gonna lose it really excited So then the point is this though she's dating a football player he's coming to visit you You're wondering how to be intimidating when you meet Yeah, and I mean it doesn't have I was thinking it could it could be a big gesture I'm open to suggestions, but maybe even like something. So small, that's like a little unsettling to him, you know, tell us why you want that. Yeah. Tell us so we can pitch.

We'll obviously pitch. Gareth is going to be great at this, but tell us why, uh, you want to do this. Well, number one, I feel like the egos of NFL players are huge. And I think that bringing people back to your family is like a very big thing for my sister. So I really want to just step, just hit the ground running with him. Like I want to assert my dominance and let him know what like why he's there. You want to know what this reminds me of? I will say I feel like people put assumptions on P

I will I gotta go down a little weird road here Danny Cuz I think they'll think like actors have an attitude football players and a lot of times people will say to me when they meet They the first thing they had like weird grandmas I'll go like somebody who go like hey this and I'll be like hey, this is Jake Boba and she'll go They I heard you're on television, but I've never seen you. Yeah. And I'll be like, OK. OK.

I'm literally just here because my friend, I'm picking up my friend. Not sure why you got to be there. And she's like, I don't think you're so great. And I'm like, OK, really nice to meet you, too. Your great grandma is a weird lady, my friend George. Let's get going. And maybe he's just a sweet guy and he just plays football. It really is true. It's like, I think when people think you

have like a spotlight, especially when like, you are, you know, very famous people they are there is this thing of just being like, I'm sure you get it, Gareth people will go like this, like, I don't know. Oh, you're a stand up comedian. Say something if you don't seem so so funny. I literally just said hi. Here's what they'll do with stand-ups. They'll go, I could have done stand-up, but I just didn't want, you know, and you're like, OK, awesome.

OK, then great. Great, good for you. Yeah, I guess, whatever. I'm happy for you. That's a key difference in the careers that we have. You didn't go for it. Yeah, but also like, maybe going for it was wrong. This is just what I'm doing.

I'm like literally just looking for water at a barbecue. Responding, I'm happy for you is so funny. But that, but Gareth, I totally get it where people go like, you know, like, yeah, you're a stand up. Yeah. My uncle Mike's funniest guy ever met, but he didn't want to do it. OK. All right. Great. That's really good. Literally don't care. Yeah. Or there's other. I mean, we could like, uncle Mike's funniest guy I've ever met, but he didn't want to do it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right, great. That's really good.

Literally don't care. Yeah. Or there's other, I mean, we could keep doing this for hours, but the other one is where people are like, do you know Nate Bargatze? And you're just like, all right, I'm not enjoying this at all. I really- The worst is this though. You know what?

I got something that could be a really funny SNL skit. The worst. And you go, well, I'm not on SNL. Yep. And you go, I don't know anything about it. And they go, I know, but this is a funny skit. My mother last week was pitching my uncle to be a guest and we're here to help so hard that I had to go. It's not happening. Shark book the on Patreon. Patreon. Okay. So Danny, so, but you want to be intimidating when you meet

him and the thought is you want to not, you want to cut this tree down to size. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, yeah, I mean, I feel like I would do this too, even if he wasn't an NFL player, but I think that factor really plays into it, which is why I'm adding onto that detail. I respect that. You just want to make sure he knows you got a great sister. He ain say that special Hey, you know what don't come in here with attitude. What's my the way for really fast? Yeah, just the city's fine. Um, It'll just help I have a guest yeah, I guess somewhere

Above North Carolina Okay, doesn't okay. Okay. Well, first of all, I think he's gonna be cut down to size a little bit when he's staying in A two-bedroom apartment with you and your sister. I think that's probably gonna humble him enough. Three bedroom. Three bedroom. Three bedroom, whatever. The fact is he's gonna be sharing a toilet with two women or something like that. I think he's definitely gonna be like, hey, you know what I mean? Things could be better. It's definitely not Joe Burrow. It's definitely not Joe Burrow.

He's definitely a fringe NFL player who might be a practice. Let's just say this guy's probably played for three or four teams. All right, here's some pitches for you. I got two of the kind of splinter. One is, let's make you a huge basketball fan. Right away, show him his sport is secondary at best in this household. And what I would do is I would buy maybe a jersey. I would be wearing that when he shows up and I would maybe even get a poster. My other pitch on that is you could be a huge Shaq fan because Shaq is the biggest guy of

all time and that's a way to make this guy feel tiny. And when he's throwing facts at you or whatever, he takes his shoes off when he comes in, you can be Shaq. Where's an 18? Can I pitch on your pitch? Yeah. Whatever position he is playing on the team he's on, find the person that is.

So if he's like a defensive end and he's second string, get the jersey of the first string guy. Yeah, or he could just be like a Bruce Smith or something like that. But I would make it specific for the joke. You want to go? If he's a running back, right? And let's say he's a second string running back.

Yeah. On the team he's on, find out who's the starter, and get that if he's a starter, then find out who in that franchise is the best running back that they've ever had. So when he walks in, he'll go like, let's just say it's the Panthers. And he walks in and he goes like, oh, Panthers. Then he looks at it and he realizes it's the guy he battles every day in practice. And he has to go like, I get it. And you go, how was practice?

How's everything going on the team for you? And you're just letting him know. Bet you're hoping that he's getting traded. Yeah. You're just letting him know, hey, guess what? You're not number one in this house. I like that too. I think what any. I like that one. So if you want to go that way. It's funny, it's light.

It's goofy. It's a good intro. It shows that you're lighthearted and you cut him down. And you've thought about him. Yes, I like that. The other thing I was gonna say is you could just, if you had a cause with great meaning, people will do this where they'll trivialize sports and you'll just if you had like a cause with great meaning, like people will do this

where they'll like trivialize sports and you'll just be like, like I'm obviously like, I think about things outside of sports, but you'll be talking about sports and someone will just be like, yeah, but I mean the political climate right now and you're like, yeah, so you could cause it. Yeah, you could cause it up over there a little bit so that when he starts talking about the sport, you can say something though I mean he's going to probably right now especially because he's in training camp right now yeah but I think he's gonna be going in and it's gonna be all about he's there for her and

then you get to know the sister so he's gonna be like oh no way you guys oh I got an all termals are cool I got a worse one this is the word this one I don't think is good, but it just came into my head. You could bring up how big and tall your sister's like two boyfriends ago was. You could say when you first meet him, you could go like this. You're small compared to the exes. Yeah. Here's what you could do too. You could be like, you could even get a like a fucking size 17 shoe

Just get like one or two cheap ones and just leave them around and go. Oh, sorry. Those are Dan's Yeah, who's doing Casey? That's Casey's ex, but he left his shoes here. What do you think? He's the guy who left on Thursday Thursday. Yeah, yeah. He got traded. He got traded. You know, you could do, by the way, traded is a great term. When you meet him, you can go, that's really helped to meet you.

I hope that you don't get cut or traded by my sister. Yeah. I hope you make the squad full-time. Yeah. Hopefully, she franchised tags you. Gets off the roster. Is he a guy in the NFL? Does he get cut a lot? Has he had a long contract? Is he a journey roster. Yeah. Uh, is he a guy in the NFL? Does he get cut a lot?

Has he had a long contract? Is he a journeyman? Yeah. No, the contract hasn't been long. Um, he actually just signed a new one. So this will be his, I think, second season with the team. So the second season. That's good though.

So then what you could say is I hope you stick along with a longer contract here than you have in, uh, North, with the Panthers.thers you also could I mean the quarter bet like jordan love just signed you could bring you could Be like so you just signed a new contract two years, you know x1. That's pretty good Jordan love just signed a four year. Yeah, like he's getting like 50 mil a year. That's crazy That money's like game changing now, but here's the catch Do we want to start with a bad vibe? No. Because I like if that's the same thing, we're not going to be open.

You could be open. I feel like she's willing to go for it. But I think as again, drunk uncles, I think do the version where it's charming, not as kind of grinding. You could also find out where you went to college and get a rival shirt. That's a that's a subtle. That's a good one. That's a good one. So, Danny, we give you some options. Rival college. Be a fan of Shaq. Be a basketball fan. Talk about how big the X was.

Talk about contracts. Leave some shoes. Find a jersey of the his person he's competing with. Leave a bunch of badgesil out in the bathroom. What do you think you're gonna do? I think she already has that. I think I like the melting pot that you guys have talked about on past episodes of choosing a little bit of everything.

Sure, you want a Milan. I like the subtler ones. I don't want to come across too strong. Cause I, I guess it's not a great idea to start off on the wrong foot. So I like the subtle ones of like leaving a shoe, a big shoe on the ground or maybe one way bigger. That's your subtle one.

Your setup and your finish were so different. Yeah. I like the one where we just talked about his ex having a bigger shoe. It's crazy. You just get a bunch of Magnum condom wrappers and leave them around her room. Holy Magnum, baby.

Okay, so you like that, but by the way, if it is a joke and you pull it off, it will be a big laugh. If you leave huge shoes, or a huge, like a triple XL shirt somewhere. The huge shoe could be your boyfriend's shoe if you wanted it. Sorry, that's my ex's shoe.

He left it here. Totally. He's a pretty big guy. You wouldn't get it. So he's large. He's a big guy. He's not medium like you. He's not a tiny guy like you.

Yeah, how big is he? Is he like an offensive lineman big, or what's the position? Massive. He's like, so he's an odd like pushing 300. So he's on the line. Okay. He's a DL. Yeah. So he's DL or offensive lineman. Okay. For the Falcons. Yeah, I got you. And he just does a one-year contract. So the Falcons just re-upped him probably. Is right yeah that's what you're saying i can't confirm nor deny i understand okay yeah okay we get you for sure so i i would consider so i'm sorry danny i rather what i would consider what are you considering so you're going to do the big shoe what else are you going to do um i like the idea of getting a jersey for someone because i don't he's not a starter every single time so i like the idea of getting a jersey for someone because I don't he's not a starter every single time so I like

the idea of getting a jersey. I guess this isn't a subtle one again. Yeah. I've got a subtle pitch to be really fast because now that we know he's a big guy when he first gets there have a really small or a normal sized plate of food and go you must be starving. Yeah and it's like a six foot five three three under and it's literally three grapes and half a jet You get to two crackers and put it on like a really small appetizer plate with like a tiny little cup and he's like

Yeah, thank you. And then he's got and then he doesn't ought to react. So he's trying to be polite He's like, thank you. He takes like tiny little sips and then you go I'm just kidding come in the kitchen. We made food and then there's a real meal just so for a second he has to be like thank you and it's like little baby grapes and he's like this is amazing it I mean I'm 300 pounds six foot five this just won't even fill up this won't fill up one of my toes but I respect you yeah that's perfect because she talks about all the time how much you eat so yeah maybe we can hype up my cooking to him. So yes, I think, and then, you know, you could do,

here's what I would actually do, Danny, the Jersey and that stuff could be a little offensive and it could be like, Hey, why are you trying to hurt me? Here's what I would play with him personally. He'd be like, that's real. I was really excited to meet her. She's kind of a nasty human, but here's what I would say. I would hype up your cooking and I would have her tell him, don't worry about food There's gonna be food where we get there when he gets there bring him like one wing two great and like

And one of those like mini sodas where it's like a coke But in a tiny thing and be like here you go and have him go like thanks and watch in his head him thinking like Like I got to sneak out of here and eat this is not Then you can be like and tonight we might get a little wild and hold up one of those like mini one like fireball bottles. We're going to split this. Yeah. And then like a tiny little dessert and be like, I'm not against ice cream. Like a hamster meal. And then we're really in big tonight.

Yeah, we're going crazy. And then go, really in big tonight. Yeah, we're going crazy and then go I'm just kidding and then in the kitchen There's like if you ordered food or whatever there's actual food. So you have a big laugh, but he goes like oh She's not she's not nurse. She's fucking with me. She's cool Then then relax a little bit act like he's back when the Falcons and the kind of jokes He makes with like then you could talk about his new quarterback Matt Ryan or What's his quarterback's name again? Oh Kurt? Yeah, who's the quarterback of the team? He's on Danny Kirk cousins. You said right Danny Even if I knew I still wouldn't tell you

What do you think of the food move I really really like the food move because the food is something we've been talking about a Lot and I think maybe that's a little bit more subtle than maybe the shoes. But I think they're probably anyway. By the way, if you want to get a huge shoe, it's just funny. It's just heightening the joke. And there's another thing. But get them like a tiny little salad. I think you could you could punch the food because that's a nice opener with the shoe after.

And then your jokes are not meant to be mean. You're just trying to get them loose, which he will. And then he'll go very fast. This girl's funny. This is going to be mean you're just trying to get him loose which he will and then he'll go very fast This girl's funny. This is gonna be a fun weekend. Yeah when I get cut from the Panthers, it's fine No, not the Panthers. You said it was the Lions in you No, she would have mentioned that to a couple NFC North fans and then we said so Danny Will you follow up with us if you actually do the food thing and will you take a photo of the food you're presenting? Yes If you could get a photo of him you could blur out his face with his size holding a tiny plate of food

Yeah, that would be a massive Yes, I will. I absolutely will. Awesome. Yeah, thanks for the help. Thanks, Danny. Good luck. Absolutely. Thank you, guys. Yeah. Go patrons. This episode is sponsored by Philo. Philo's got current seasons of TV shows that you don't want to miss live on networks like

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and instantly book appointments with them online. Shark, are you a ZocDoc guy? I am, and what I'm very excited about the second time I do my follow-up with ZocDoc, because I did my first one pre, you know, glow up weight loss. And I can't wait to strut my little booty back in of like, notice anything different.

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365 day returns quince.com slash here to help to look Hello, hi welcome to the show Hi guys. Hi. Can you give us your name where you're calling from and a little something about you and then what the problem is? Okay, my name is Liberty. I'm from Utah. I'm 25. Okay, what's the issue today? So my issue here is actually my name, and I'm glad you guys didn't do it, but... I was very close, obviously. You were very close? Were you going to do the jingle? No! Oh, God.

What's the jingle? Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Oh, God, Liberty, I'm sorry. That's tough. Thank you. Everybody does the commercial jingle. Everybody. I bet.

Now all I'm thinking is liberty, liberty, mutual. It's tough. Okay. Yeah. It happens all the time. This sucks. Okay. Okay.

This sucks. Okay. Okay. This sucks. Okay. Problem seems pretty straightforward, but keep going. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, basically it happens about, yeah, 50% of the people I introduce myself to and it has sucked the fun out of my name. I love my name. So yeah, I'm just trying to find, you know, what can I say to people?

Obviously I can't just prevent them, but what's some funny comebacks? I don't know. What do I do? So Liberty, will you walk us through, would you play both parts? Will you show us what happens on a regular basis in your life? Yes. Okay. Both. You want me to play both parts?

Yeah. Just so we can get a sense of what's really happening. Okay. Um, so I'm like, maybe at a restaurant, they say, okay, thanks. You know, just for here to go. And I say, oh, it's for to go. They say, okay, what's your name? They say, my name is Liberty.

They say, oh, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. I say, oh, ha ha. Okay. That's it. Okay. It happens all the time? All the time. One idea that you could do is you could do the spaz thing fast. Like Gareth, you and I do it together

I'm Liberty okay I can I get a name for the order yeah it's Liberty because what it does is it takes away the fun I think it goes like chill out man I was just singing Liberty Liberty mutual but you know what they're gonna do it's hard I thought about this with the name Karen a lot like I think Karen was like yeah Yeah, and then it was like all of a sudden. It was like ooh agreed, but it really different because that is like internal This is like people have a compulsion to sing that stupid. I have an idea. Let's go Here's a weird play and this is a joke in a game just for you And the way to execute this is a joke in a game just for you and the way to execute this is you can't laugh.

But you gotta realize you have to pretend there's an audience. So when they do it you go for example let's do it. Can I get a name for the to go order? Yeah it's Liberty. Oh liberty liberty liberty liberty. First of all that's not the song. You got lost in the weeds. liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty

liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty. Liberty, liberty, liberty. Okay, so here's what you could do. Okay. You could pretend you don't know what they're doing and make them explain it. Yeah. So then they go like, liberty, liberty. You go like this, you okay?

And they go like, it's the song. And you go, what song? And they go from the commercial and you go, what commercial? And they go, Liberty Mutual. And you go, you're singing a commercial jingle to me. And they go, no, no, it's the song Liberty Liberty mutual. And you go, what song? And you who's on third them a little bit. So they go like, well, that was a weird interaction. It's, I would say that's a good one.

If you feel, if you're going into like a place Yeah. I think it's hard because like aside from shortening your name, adding a middle name, like my name is Liberty Anne or something like that, that kind of, that kind of takes you away from it a little bit. I would say you could also, when you give your name for now, you could say my name, I, when I do to go orders, I always do a fake name. What's the name you do? I do Roy. Because my name, all like if I try try to I just takes an extra 15 seconds because people go like what is the name?

And then I'm like, why am I doing this? Yeah, I'll just say Roy It just makes it easier so you can do a fake name for to-go orders you also when you are meeting someone you could say I'm Liberty. Don't sing the jingle. Oh That's my new jingle Yeah, kind of yes. Yes, but name please Liberty and don't do the jingle. Don't do the jingle just for right now Or I like I do like James fish to where you go I I think you could hit him with a like the version Jake did or a short version would be like like I've never heard that before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had people say that to me before and it hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cause you realize, but I kind of don't mind the, what's your name? It's Liberty and don't do the jingle. Don't do the jingle. Because then you're gonna allow them to laugh.

Uh-huh. And then you're gonna have a little moment. Yep. I don't hate the fake name Liberty. I don't, but you know, of your thing. That's annoying for you Is you're like well you like your name? Yeah, early pitches. How you feeling about this? Going in a good direction. I mean yeah, this is it's great. I mean yeah I don't want it. I don't want to give fake names to people who you know I'm actually meeting meeting right okay to go

You ever have any names when you were growing up. Yeah, what liberty get short for Libby? Yeah? No, I never got Libby I got a lot of a Libs my nieces call me aunt Bert cuz my husband doesn't like pet names So he's like you wear his aunt Bert. Yeah, that's very far B So there there's obviously an easy solution with nicknames, but we're gonna see if we can top that correct It also might be death by a thousand cuts where it might be to go orders a fake name Yeah, when you're meeting someone for the first time you say liberty, please don't do the jingle Yeah, and then it might just become yeah like using your nickname for other things. Yeah

I'm wondering if there's a way to when you say your name you fuck with the rhythm There's a way to when you say your name, you fuck with the rhythm. Such as? Lib Erdy. Lib Erdy? Or, you know, the way Gareth and I both got confused of what it is. Because all we want to do is put a seed of doubt in their head that they might get it wrong. So they go, what's your name?

And you go, liberty. Uh huh. Or mumble it a little bit. So that they don't hear it. It's not great. I hear you. And neither is mine. I mean, I mumble it a little bit. So that they don't hear it. It's not great. Neither. I, I, I think, I think, look, it's kind of like you kind of just have

to avoid certain situations. If it's someone you're interested in meeting, you could say Liberty. Don't do the jingle. What do you think about saying Liberty? Don't do the jingle as one thing? I think that's great. The issue I'm just scared. I, I hate doing jokes that don't do the jingle as one thing. I think that's great. I'm just scared. I hate doing jokes

that don't land and with my name there's another joke that I say that lands probably about 30% of the time. What is it? If they don't sing the jingle and I say my name, they're like, oh, that's such a cool name. And I say, oh, thanks. I got it for my birthday. And like only 30% of people get that. Pretty good. Yeah. I mean, this is a separate issue. Oh, come on. Different issue, different call. Yeah, I don't think, I mean, it's not great. Good.

She got it for her birthday. I mean, come on. She got it with just zero. Stop it. We don't need that. We, listen. I'm with you, Libra, I think it's nice. I mean, you can do that, sure.

You could also say that, like, like if someone sings it you could be like Legally, I am NOT allowed to have that song. Yeah, but she doesn't so all these jokes We're pitching aren't gonna land for the person not even a joke to say I legally can't know I say don't sing the jingle Oh, yeah, and you but you don't like the My name is Liberty don't say the jingle that is, that will get a laugh. It's good, it's good. I'm hoping for great. Okay.

Wow, that's tough to hear. You came to the wrong place. Yeah, I don't know, I mean, I don't know what we've made you think, the bar's so high. So here's what's hard, Liberty. When people are gonna hear the name, they're gonna sing Liberty, Liberty. What do you think about spazzing out?

What's your middle name? Emma. What about Liberty Emma? like a yeah patriotic enema what do you think about can you try i have an idea liberty i'm gonna pretend to be the person the cashier your liberty and i want you to do the spaz response and ruin it for me. Let's just hear how you do it. Sure. Yeah. Can I get a name for that order, please? Yeah, it's Liberty. Oh, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.

That's the one. There's so much to love about what just happened. On our end, watching Jake feel hung out to dry by you not doing anything was awesome. You being really sweet and saying that's the one. Yeah, this is what Jake's looking for. Do it to me. Hey, can we get a name for the order, please? Oh yeah, my name's Liberty.

Liberty, Liberty. Liberty, Liberty! Oh man, that's genius! By the way, it's insane but it's great. They're just totally overdue. Oh man, that's genius! By the way, it's insane but it's great. Just totally overdo it. So you try to overdo it now Liberty. Okay, let's just see. Hi, can we get a name for that order please?

Yeah, it's Liberty. Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Yeah, Liberty, Liberty, yep, That's the one. Oh my gosh That is so funny. How did you come up with that? Brutal pretty brutal. I'll tell you what Good here's why it's good. It's a dumb thing for someone to do and it's a good I think the way you just played it off is You're definitely rebuffing, but it is also kind of funny.

I got one. Liberty, you do it to me. I'm going to, uh, you, I'm Liberty now. Let me just try a different one. So you asked me what my name is. Hey, and can we get a name for the order? Yeah, it's Liberty. Oh, Liberty, Liberty. Shut up! Just one. And then they go, is everything okay? And and you go yeah, you were just doing the Liberty thing And I just yelled shut up. We're equal in weirdness you sang a name at me. I yelled shut up

I got one do it to me Liberty Okay, can I get the name for the order? It's Liberty. Oh Liberty Liberty the orphanage gave it to me Oh Liberty Liberty the orphanage gave it to me Give me one Okay, can I get a name for the order? Yeah, it's Liberty Oh Liberty Liberty I was named after my grandmother and she died So thanks a lot for singing it she was actually written she was named that long before that fucking commercial Here's one Liberty Alright, can I get a name for the order? Oh, yeah, it's Liberty She was actually written. She was named that long before that fucking commercial. I Have you ever gone liberty?

Alright, can I get name for the order? Oh, yes, liberty. Oh liberty liberty fucking name so Liberty, what do you want to do here? Because the things we're pitching you're at is bad behavior. That doesn't seem like your personality You see like I honestly don't think I could I could yell doesn't seem like your personality. You seem like I honestly don't think I could, I could yell. Does it seem like you, but it's a fun run, but you also don't want to just do, why not just do middle name? I totally could.

I totally could. I also would worry. I wouldn't respond to my middle name if they call my name, but I mean, it's better hearing in your heart of hearts. What do you think the kind of solution is? Because I know what I would do if it was me and I would do the spaz. If I didn't like it, I would do the... All jokes aside, I would do this. I would do the don't do the jingle.

This is what I would truthfully do. You want to be Liberty? Yeah, I'm Liberty. Can I get an A for the order? Yeah, it's Liberty. Okay. Liberty. Liberty, shut up. And the person would look at me weird and I would find it really funny. I don't think it's rude because I think that was rude they were doing the jingle. I think

we're even. You know, I got another pitch. When are you finding this happens the most and irritates you Starbucks I'm definitely a people person so I love to like meet people at the store at the park it's softball game so I you know I meet people for the first time so everybody's once you say your name everybody's doing that fucking jingle yeah and I believe it I could see it happening everywhere yeah okay that that my pitch is gone. What were you going to say? I was going to say if it's like a cashier sort of deal, it's just fake being on the

phone. They're not going to do it. They're you, the interaction is going to be limited. I got a wild thing. Oh yeah. Why don't you get a Liberty mutual hat and you wear it and you're leaning into it. How about this? I have an idea. And and this might not work but certain people do this look at Kevin how bored he is Kevin's like we have so many calls scheduled and you guys are doing too

Yeah, Kevin you got any liberty I would do I would rather ah someone just left. I would rather exhale very loudly as they're doing it or Do a oh? Yeah, people say that to me all the time yeah, but the problem is it's already over there and now she's having a bad interaction How about this liberty? What's your last name? lighten Some people say first and last names. So when they say what's your name you go first and last name. They're not gonna go Liberty, Lytton. It helps.

Just thinking about it like that. Because hearing Liberty. If there's a word in between. It goes. Hearing the problem with your name is it works so perfectly with the jingle but when you throw the last name it it just changes it and that name Sounds nice together. I like that's pretty good. It's a cute name. It works. It feels like your personality It also throws the I what do you think of that pitch? I think it's great. Yeah, I think it's great Because a lot of people like, you know June just did our show. Yeah. She always refers to her husband as Paul Scheer. Yeah. Dana Powell, remember her as an improv.

She always says Dana Powell. And her husband should always say Dan Lipton. Yep. So certain people just say first and last names. Steve Berg. Steve Berg. I never just say Steve. No.

You say Steve Berg. Steven. But so certain people are just first and last name people. And it's not odd. And I think from your personality, with the name, if it just first and last name people and it's not odd and I think from your personality With the name if it was the different last name, I like the first and last name work together. LL. What do you think? I think it's good I think the caveat there is I always have to spell it and I want to like minimize these interactions

Well, they could just do LL you talking about it like a Starbucks spell what your last name of the last name. Yeah Yeah, you're talking about a softball game for cashier situations, right? They'll get it wrong cashier. We're either I think go with the when we're talking about to-go orders I didn't go with the fake name. Yeah, or if they go if you go Liberty, what's your last name again lighten lighten? Yeah Okay, so you be the cashier and I'm gonna be Liberty and then ask for the spell and I'll give you a version of that Oh Okay, and what's the name for the order? Liberty Leighton, okay

You could just write LL Good I think for when you're meeting people that you might see more than once do first and last Yes outside of that lie about it or say I've heard the jingle. I honestly think this is a good solution. Yeah. But what do you, here's, it's not what we think, it's what do you think, Liberty? It's kind of what I think. Go ahead.

Yeah, I think, I think the one I'm leaning towards most is I'm not a confrontational person so I couldn't, I don't know if I could do that, but I would like to play coy and just be like, the what now? So what would you say? What was that? I've never heard that before. I like that. I like that too. And I like that picture. Boy, and how much we would love an audio recording of you doing it sometimes. That's a great idea. Could you as a follow up for us, the first time you do it,

could you put a voice note on your call? And just when you're interacting. Have your record dinner and just when you have a feeling it's gonna happen just record it please I'll do I'll try to do that at lunch today perfect and then also Liberty try the first and last name a couple of times just to see what happens keep it in the back pocket I do not think I think that's gonna work if you hear first of all, you're not singing it. Okay. All right. Well, we like it more than you, but as long as there's something. So give it a shot. We can tell from your voice that this is not a home run. No, but the follow-up is

going to be. The follow-up is going to be. Exactly. This is your, you've been traumatized by this name and you don't think there's a solution? Yeah. We're fake therapists. By the way, the next call is Kevin asking how he can get the host of the show to wrap up the calls quicker because of scheduling. Liberty, Liberty, Mutual, Liberty. Thank you for the call.

Not Mutual. Bye Liberty. Thanks guys. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There it is. You say not Mutual. They go like this. Run that back, Liberty. I'm Liberty. You're you okay. Can I get a name for the order? Yeah, it's Liberty Oh

Liberty Liberty Liberty Not mutual I think you do it like this ask me Liberty go Can I get a name for the order? It's Liberty Liberty not me It's liberty. Liberty, not mutual. Oh! Oh, oh. Liberty, liberty, not mutual. That's pretty good.

I like that. And you do it, and you do it, because that will, it's, and if they don't get it, they don't get it, and you go, it's liberty, and then you go, not mutual. See, I knew you guys had it in ya. There we go, all right. Yeah, all right, that's a win.

All right, there we go, liberty, we got it. Liberty, not mutual. An hour and a half later, we got it. But liberty, not mutual is great. And if they don't get it, they don't get it. They go like, okay, it's not mutual. What's not mutual? Who cares? I like it.

You gonna do it? Sounds good. Yep, that's great guys. I'll try to get a recording. I'll do it for you. You're the best, Liberty. Thank you. Thank you guys. Bye. We need cigarettes. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Greenlight is something that I personally have, Kevin, which I've told you about. I got Gareth's too because he doesn't have kids. So,

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your free veggies. That's HungryRoot.com slash here to help. Don't forget to use our link so they know that we sent you. Hello. Hi. Hi. I thought we were hearing an echo. Hi there.

Hi. We're having fun. Welcome to We're Here to Help. Can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from, please? I'm a shark. Hi. We're having fun. Welcome to We're Here to Help. Can we get your name, age, and where you're calling from, please? I'm a shark. Okay. I'm so excited. I'm going to go with Megan, and I'm 36, and I'm in Idaho. Oh, beautiful. Where in Idaho? Far, far north. Sure. I know it well. Canada. Yeah.

Okay. Well, you're on with Jake, you're on with Gareth, we got shark in the wings if we need him, we'll chum it up. What's going on? What can we help you with? Okay, cool. So, I have been married to my husband for about 15 years and or been together 15 years. He is wildly quirky, lots of fun things that he does. But I'm calling in because no matter the weather, rain, snow, doesn't matter, hot, he will leave

his car door open. What? Always. When he exits the car. You mean for good? Oh. What? So it always looks like he's been kidnapped?

No. Yeah, no, he doesn't. We're seeing pictures right now. By the way, he's got a lot of cars and it doesn't help that he's parking in fields. No, Garrett, this is over the years. I know, but it's just- No, no, no, no, no. That's just the past month that I've been collecting photos, but- Incredible. Every single time. And so it's become this thing where, because we run a farm and we have lots of people

coming in and out and everybody comments, they're just like, what is going on? Like, what is this? And I talk to him. Your husband's gone. Yeah, he does not care at all. Right. So why, Megan, why does he leave them open?

What does he say? He just, I don't care. I don't know what people think. But no, it's not what people think. Like there's like squirrels getting in his car. There's a reason we close things. It's the automobile. What does he say? When you say, why is that happening? He can't be bothered with this. No time. So I saw her arm. Like, Oh, just, it doesn't matter. Well matter well who cares but I'm not kidding you it will be

snowing and his car door will be open this dude and there will be this is yes and so yeah um yeah he also swims in his socks so there's another random one for you guys. But my question today is. Ow, uncle. Hey, I gotta say, I've been called worse, Gareth. Yeah, Jay. Hey, is this Megan or my wife Erin going in? I know. I could even see it. Okay, so Megan, so the swimming in socks,

let's not touch, that's a personal choice. I'm kinda with him. Why'd you cover up the toes in your swim crazy alignment? I'm a little bit confused about the leaving the car door opening and when asked saying I don't care Does he like all the drawers open does he leave the front door? No, it's just this thing with the cart and we do have a lot of cards, right? So like you'll pull up to the place and it's just this thing with the cart. And we do have a lot of carts, right? So like you'll pull up to the place and it's just like car doors open everywhere.

It's not just like one single car. And so I don't know. Yeah, it's total. By the way, Megan, you shouldn't know because this is not for you to know. We have decided for our own safety and just as a society that those get closed. It's surprising that he leaves them open during the winter and the snow because one of my pitches

would be like make the interior problematic so that he doesn't care. But yeah, but he seems to be impervious to the elements getting inside of the car. And so, Megan, what is the specific question on this? How do I get him to care or to care is impossible. OK, how do I get him to close the door? Him to close the door? Yeah. Or how? Maybe like, yeah, we could maybe get him to close the doors. We cannot get him to care. Yeah.

This dude wears socks when he swims, leaves the doors open in the winter. He didn't give a fuck. Yeah, he's not going to care, but it's part of the issue is you're on the farm. So you're in the so it's not like he's like in the park. Like if he goes to a parking lot, he shuts the door. But it's just when he gets home, he just is like, I mean, like an eight year old that wants to run in the it's like a dog Energy, I haven't I have a pitch

You said you're on a farm. Yeah Yeah, his favorite car that he leaves open the next time an animal is pregnant about to give birth Without telling him carry it and put it in the back seat of his car Baby animal I Animal about to give birth right you have an animal on your farm? Or more of a vegetable farm. Alright, well the next time that some broccoli's growing- How about if a pumpkin's about to give babies?

Look, I don't know the way the world works. Look, just empty a goddamn pumpkin in the car. Because what I'm looking to do is the reason we close doors of cars is in the city. You don't want people breaking in, right? In the country, you don't want animals going in there and ripping it up and shitting on it and turning it into a wolf's nest. That's that's a good pitch. OK, here are my pitches. One is what you just said, Jake.

I would just get some goddamn raccoon poop or some like poop and put it on the car seat so that when he leaves the door open. Over and over. Yeah. And don't, you say, I don't know, it's a raccoon. A raccoon is making your car a home because you've left an amazing home for him. I'll tell you what you did is you created an outhouse. Yeah.

You created, yeah. You gave him a warm place to take dumps. Yeah. Your car is a raccoon toilet. Way to go, Doug. Good for you, man. That's one. Another one is I wonder if you can like when you take the car, be like the battery died and be like the battery died because there's got to be

some like a light that would stay on inside. Yeah. Like that's got to hurt the battery. And then my nuclear one would be that you have to orchestrate and I don't know how we do this, we could maybe help the idea, you could even make it up that one someone drove by saw it and just assumed that there was some sort of kidnapping or something and the cops got involved and you had to tell them that no you just leave the door open and the cops didn't like the energy of this conversation.

Oh my gosh that's hilarious. I would say let's not involve the cops with how about this. It'll be fine. How about how about we get sorry to be the responsible one. Hey listen we need to have a kid we need to kid we responsible one? Hey listen, we need to say that there was a kid we need kidding. We need freedom to pick nap we need I agree We need to well I'm sorry that we can't throw a baby goat in there covered in womb juice Jake That's fine look if she's got a farm, and there's like a pig about to give birth

I'll tell you what I would do if I left my door open I walked out there, and there's like mom baby juice all over my car. I'm closing the door I'll tell you what you're gonna have is a dead pig in the car. That's what you're gonna do girls dead because you Need some attention I'm not saying take the baby. I get the mom out of there Let all the

There I agree. Let's not involve the cops, but let's not Well, the unfeeding happened in there. I agree. Let's not involve the cops, but let's not. I have a fight fire pitch, which is what if you go and open the other doors and the trunk just to make it more inconvenient for him every time he comes back? I like that. I like that a lot. Shark coming in. That's a good one. By the way, I think that's a great way. I think we have two real ones for you.

I've got one more just to tack on. Go ahead. Just get someone that he doesn't know a friend or something when he's driving the car to pretend to be kind of a vagrant who's made the back the home. And so while he's driving, they wake up and they're like, what? Again, it's complicated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's here's what I think you should do. Megan. Here's here's I don't hate the fake hobo, but it's hard. We've picked that before where we have like a person. We're always pitching Santa. But they just no one's ever done them.

Yeah. Because we had like dress the first one, like Santos, the kid. We said, like, have like a weird uncle come and say like, I'm Santa, but I'm not Santa. I think I think in my head, in our heads, we have an unlimited budget for these things. Yes, I totally agree. Well, we also, we have, in my head, when we were pitching them, especially earlier, the reason I was always into that is,

you guys are surrounded by character actors, yeah? Yeah, exactly. And you realize like, she's on a farm in Idaho. It's so easy to just unload insanity and be like, so how close are you to the cops showing up? There are 16 people who want to do this. So here's we know everyone in the camp. I really have to go.

It's a fun pitch, but I don't think we're going to win. They'll be wearing a costume, but let's move on. But I do think I do think the shark pitch something good here. And I think we can combine it. He leaves the door open because he doesn't care. But what he would care about is every time he went to the car, he had to close every single door and the trunk. And then if he went, hey, did you open everything up?

Say the same thing. I don't care. I may I tack on to that, that we keep all the cabinets open in the house as well. Yes, we're now a doors nobody. And that's that's the height. Yes. I would say great for to start. If he does the door open every time you see it, open every single door and the trunk and the glove box and the engine hood. So when he walks out, he goes, what's going on?

And you go, I don't care. And he goes, yeah, but don't do that. And you go like this. I don't even care. Just like, I don't care. Yeah, I just look. And he goes, why did you do it? You just do it. He goes, I don't care. And he goes, yeah, but don't do that. And you go like this, I don't even care. Just like, I don't care. Yeah, I just look. And he goes, why'd you do it? You could just do it. He goes, I don't know.

I just did it. Something to do. The way he answers you, where there's no answer. What if you say to him, hey, why didn't you close the door to the car? What does he say? He just doesn't, he just, I don't know. Why? I'm just going to get back in it. Say that.

Why did you open every door and the hood and the trunk? You go, I don't know. I just, I don't know why I did it. And he'll go, he'll see himself in you and he'll go, your behavior is out of control. And then you go, I don't know. Then the one day he closes the door

of the car, you leave it be. I like it. I can do that. That'll work. It'll be also really funny. Yeah, I could do that. And then there would be like five cars on the farm with just every single door open.

But by the way, if that doesn't work, I think we gotta go animal dump. Yeah, I could do that too. We also catch a lot of skunks. Maybe I could. Throw a sk that too. We also we also catch a lot of stuff. Maybe I could Throw a skunk now. That was living at a dream world. I Wouldn't say grab this shit Grab a skunk and get a hobo a friend is a hobo same pitch All right

So here's what we're gonna do Jake and I are gonna cancel out our two wildest agrees agreed I'm now retracting my hobo. I'm my hobo and Jake is taking skunk off the list. Yeah, skunk and have a friend act like a hobo who lives in your trunk and wakes up on the highway. We don't need to make mine seem crazy. It would be in the back seat and he would have made his hope. Okay, so I think, and then I think if he, like again, I would just try after that. If he's not good with it, I would try the cabinets. I you might agree with him to come around but I mean again, we're dealing with a loose cannon already So it's hard to tell but what do you think of that Megan? But also nobody wants to he's a loose can he doesn't want to go back and close his trunk

And I think the idea that he's just more work when you have to leave is really why it'll maybe be effective. Yes So what are you thinking Megan? I think that I can do the opening of all the doors pretty easily and back it up with some animal poop if needed, slash cabinet tree being open, which would drive me insane. So the cabinet won't last long. Well, you'll have to dig deep for some of this because you are now fighting crazy with crazy. So you'll have to hang in for some of this because you are now fighting crazy with crazy. So you'll have to hang in there with this hunger strike for a minute. Will you do us a big favor and take photos of the car with everything open, please?

Yes. So we can see the way we saw all the car doors open just to see what it looks like with everything on a car open would be really fun. What I would really do is get some cat food and put it out back and you'll get some raccoon life out there and then you could really start scooping up some hold on I think that's food in the car yes oh boy okay hold on hold on we might what do we hit a new level I think you just hit something great you open everything no matter what right then if that doesn't work when you walk by, throw feet in there.

Yeah, throw a little fancy feet in there. Guess what? It'll get rats. Yeah. Just take a handful of cat food or dog food as you're walking by, throw it in. Toss it. Just like you're feeding chickens. Just like you're feeding chickens is exact image.

If he walks out of his house and he's going to work and there's a goddamn raccoon sitting shotgun, he's going to go like, this is a problem I don't want to deal with. Yes. And if he walks out there and goes, there's a bunch of rats in my backseat. And you go, there's a great solution. It's why doors were quite literally invented, my man. What you should, and I would even, and I don't, obviously we don't tell them about the cat food or the dog food, but then when he says that you take your phone, you go, let me look it up. You know, a lot of people are saying to close the fucking car door. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you can, that's it. You go like this. This is a crazy problem. You got raccoons in your car. How could we possibly solve it? Close the door, you maniac! Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right, Megan, you're gonna win here.

So start with the open. Let's not even do the dog crap. I think we got a bigger win than you had to scoop. I didn't know it was dog crap. No, no, or any crap. Yeah, okay. Yeah, raccoon crap's tinier. Small animal, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Small, I mean, you got bears in Idaho, though, don't you? No hobos, no cops. Yeah, they got bears. You can do a little elk crap. By the way, I can mail you some elk shit if you need me to. I got a bunch of them here. All good, all good, no cop. Yeah, they got bears. You can do a little elk crap. I guess, by the way, I can mail you some elk shit if you need me to. I got a bunch of them.

All good, all good. Okay, all right. But I say start with the doors, and then if everything's open and he's fighting fire with fire and pretending he doesn't care, chicken feed his car. Yeah.

Just walk by. Chicken feed with a little frisky. Sounds like a good plan. Parmesan is floor bait. Parmesan in the car, babe. I mean, essentially, this is a Parmesan pit. Hey, 22% of my pitches are Parmesan. You cover the floor of that car with a little bit of parm.

You know what you're going to get? Animals. And then when you're tossing it, just say to yourself, say when. To him in your head. Yeah, to you. He beat his ass. it just say to yourself say when yeah yeah yeah yeah to him in your head yeah yeah beat his ass all right Megan follow up with the photos and what happens on this please please sounds great will do thank you guys so much thanks Megan call good luck all right bye bye we're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and

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