We're Here to Help - 108: NOprah's Book Club

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about how to raise the stakes for training casino dealers, quitting a book club that you started and a mother in law who yawns way too loud. Later, the guys follow up with the second caller from episode 75 "You Are The Danger."Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail] (Early Access, Bonus Calls and Q&As): Patreon.com/HereToHelpPodVIDEO: Youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. We are recording. Back, I'm recording, we are back. And everybody's recording. And everybody's recording. And some technical difficulties from the Jake stirrer that slowed everybody down today. Isn't it, don't you feel like it's embarrassing when your internet is a problem? I hate it. It's like, if you take it, like you feel like you've personally failed.

Powerless. Yeah, and you're kind of like the loot. You're like, I've been there where I'm like, or how about this? I have this a lot of times where like, you'll be on the phone with someone and like it'll start to be bad and you'll be like, they'll be like, oh, your phone's breaking up

and you're like, text me on my phone. And they'll go, I have all bars. And you'll go, I also have all bars. Yeah. So worse is when you go, I have all bars and they go, I'm on a landline. By the way, even if not, let's just use that as a line to Trump. So many goes, it's not me. And you go like, did I have all bars?

And you go, I'm literally on a landline as you're driving through a mountain range. Yeah. Yeah. With no bars. I hear you in the car. It's a landline. It's a landline. Those are open. Yeah. Yeah with no bars. I hear you in the car. It's a landline It's a landline. Those are open. Yeah There was a burn you did earlier on this call that I gotta give you credit for

When I said I'm on an old computer and you go, why'd you get a new one? And I go well if it's not broke don't and then I froze and I heard you say I guess this is I guess he means It's broken This is the evidence. It's broke. You can no longer use the expression if it ain't broke don't fix it when it is actually I was frozen on my side trying to finish it being like not broke Shut up shut up. I'm on a landline. Yeah So Kevin I think you were running something for this opener. Today's the special day, guys. We're doing my final weigh-in.

My birthday is in two days, which means it's time for the weigh-in. For a quick recap, on May 20th, I was 200 pounds. I made a bet with Jake and Gareth that I could lose 20 pounds by my birthday. Actually, I would say Jake and Gareth made the bet with me. And if I lost, that's how it works. We are always, even on our texts, it's always like, what's the action though? We just made an interesting one about if the Chiefs make it to the Super Bowl. I feel bad about it now.

You do? I do. I was a Chiefs fan last night and he was, yeah, I think it was a bad bet. Anyway, Kevin, it's not about the Chiefs. It's about how you're no longer the hunk with the chunk. Taking off the shirt? Yeah, yeah. I have to do my weigh-in.

Oh, ho, ho! Are you weighing in right now? I'm doing it right now. But also, what is that shirt? Is that merch or did you buy that? We have made me a rhinestone shark shirt for the weigh-in. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Is that possible merch or no? I think we'll do a different version of it that's not Rhinestone. That's shocking. There is some shark merch in the works. Yeah. You're looking hunky, dude. I gotta say. Thanks, man, appreciate it.

You're looking good. Now you're looking like a drummer. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's see how this goes. I wanna try to switch cameras. The lowest toed of the band. Also, the drummer's got the best arms in the band. Oh, great.

There we go. This is awesome. I am taking... Kevin is showing us a scale shot now. Also, the guy with the drummers got the best arms in the band. Oh, great. There we go. Oh, this is awesome. I am taking... Kevin is showing us a scale shot now. We have a shot of his scale. Right here. It's in his little leg with his side.

Kill the black socks. What a mystery. What a mystery. The onion is endless. Oh, it really lights up well. Okay, we see the scale works. It's set to zero. It's directed to 180.

Let's get that body on it. He knows already. Oh my God, are you shirtless? Are you shirtless? Oh my God! Hold on, move your feet, Kevin, move your feet. Kevin, move your feet. Kevin, move your feet and stand in front of it.

Kevin, Kevin, get back on the scale. This is so, this is like he's at the combine. Oh my God, he's at 179.6. Oh my God, that was the funniest Nearly naked shark body 179 six that's a winner. It's a winner But also we went to because that was he forgot the scale was reflective and and we were able to see him shirtless and embarrassed So I guess you guys got what you wanted too. I think we all won this bet.

Everyone won. A great bet is when everybody wins. So what is the- Congratulations. So what do we owe you now, Kevin? Now that you're hot, what again do we owe you? We know it's not cheap. I have a pitch, I have a pitch. Okay, go.

Getting into cigars after the wedding, a horrible thing to get into in your 30s. I don't have a little humidor box for my cigars after the wedding a horrible thing to get into in your 30s Yeah, I don't have a little humidor box for my cigars They're just kind of in a bag right now you want to hear a little humidor box. Maybe it's as a shark on it somewhere That's interesting This is how wives say they want gifts, isn't it? I like made the exact thing and be like and go get it from this place and this is the link and then she goes, what do you want? And I go, I don't know. I don't know.

But same thing you got. Yeah. Well, it makes it hard for me to give you gifts if you don't know. And I go, I know, but I, we lost the shark. It's okay. He's just, I put my pants on. It's just a lot has happened. This has been quite an intro.

Uh, well, what a ride. Let's get into it. Yeah, let's get into it. But again, if you want to see Shartletless embarrassed, I'd go to our YouTube. That was my recommendation to you. Check it out. It's good stuff. And thanks for everyone for listening and without.

Wait, we don't have a guest on this episode, right? This is Monday. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Hi. What's happening? How you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? Great. Can we get your name, where you're calling from and the Garf Man's new question, what

color is your hair? Okay. My name is Amy. My hair is brown and grayish. Ooh. More like a silver. My hair is brown and grayish. Ooh. More like a silver. Now I talk.

I dye it that color. I don't have gray hair. Like Gareth in my beard when he doesn't dye it that orange color from Just For Man. If you really think that I chose this color for my beard, you are out of your mind. They don't make this color for me. Amy Silver Fox, where are you calling from? I'm calling from a Colona, British Columbia. Whoa, he sees great. And what can we do for you today? Okay, so my issue is I work at a casino

Fuck I train people how to Deal games fuck. Yes, okay Jake can really yeah I did this down I did this similarly down at the Hollywood Park Casino in Inglewood when I first moved to Los Angeles. This has to go on. Continue. Not about me, about you.

Nice. So right now I'm opening a new poker room. And I'm training people, I'm training all sorts of different classes how to deal poker, okay? Yes. My problem is, is how do I get these people to take this seriously because it's for fake money. I'm playing awful poker every day of my work life for weeks on end because people just go

on in every hand. Right? Yes. I know exactly what you mean. There's no real money on the line. You know what I mean? I do know. I don't understand exactly.

Okay. So she's playing poker and she's teaching them to deal. So you have to have a bunch of people playing. Sure. There's no stakes. Right. So all of a sudden somebody has a jack five and they're like all in,

cause who gives a shit? Oh. Exactly. How do we create actual poker? So frustrating. Cause then you actually can't learn to be a dealer. Yes. Because you're like,

everybody's all in again. And that's not how it is. It's the flop, the turn, the river. There's an intensity that they need practice. And is so I did a movie called win it all with Joseph Womberg. Thank you And we had a whole sequence where we had we built a fake casino and we had a whole group of extras playing hold them and We had that problem to begin and people were playing it like it was blackjack

And so then what we started, we just started realizing, we're like, fuck it, let's everybody play. So we started talking about the chips like it was a tournament. And if you do a tournament style, whoever has the most chips at the end of the day, get something. That's a good way to do it.

So if you do like a- What do I get them? We're not allowed to use real money. No, no, no, but you could do something from the casino. You could do something fun. You could even, they could have the MVP of the day. They could get like a fake crown where you like take a photo of them each day. You could have MVP of the day best player.

How many days are you going to be doing? So I'm, I've been doing this for like the past few months. I do it like five days a week. Okay. So a lot of, and our poker room is opening in a month, but I'm pretty much training straight until that opens. I think a prize or something like that is the right way. Is there a world in, in order to make it fun,

if you did each week, you do a tournament until the thing and whoever finishes with the most chips gets their photo on the wall of best dealing player. So and it could be in the casino so you get like the casino to do a little plaque so that at first people when they hear about it they go part of being a great dealer here and you go and guys you should know this will help your tips. Because when I play at a table and the dealer knows the game, it just changes the vibe.

You're more likely, if you win a big hand, to go like, let me cut you into this, boss, because we're in it together as opposed to your brain dead just flipping cards. I don't wanna play with a robot. And so you could say you went on a podcast called Mo and Piggly, or you heard one and what they taught you in it was,

it's a science podcast, you could say this to the group, we don't have to make a video for these people. Let me pitch it when you're ready. I'm ready. The winner also gets a Mo and Piggly winning video. I mean, that would be amazing. How did someone roll? I didn't know a human could roll one eye.

Did I? Yes, you just rolled one eye somehow. Like, you didn't even have the energy to fully roll your eyes. Here's my problem with it. We make it and then you got some dealer up in the BC and you go like, Hey, congrats on your win. They're like, yeah, I love to play. It was fun. It was fun.

We can go, would you like to watch a video from Pigly and Mo and they go what's Pigly and Mo and you go? From a podcast called weird up they go what's weird to help and they go one of the guys was on a podcast called the Dabby go what's the doubt? They go the other one's on a show called new girl They go, what's the new girl? Then you go just don't show the video. All right, you're right Then they watch it and they go what is this and you go it's funny and then we go Can you film you watching it? And then we got a follow-up where we go what they think and they go they watch it and they go, what is this? And you go, it's funny. And then we go, can you film you watching it? And then we got a follow up where we go, what'd they think? And they go, they thought it was weird.

Brutally humbling. Our new studio is called the Shark Tank. You heard what she said. You heard what she said. Also, if you're on YouTube, like and subscribe. It's not a bad idea. But so, okay. But I think beefing up the prize a little bit is good.

Yes, but part of it you could say to the group, you could say, if you're considered a good poker player, your tips will increase. So as a way to do that, we came up with an idea here, and that is, you guys are gonna be just playing a lot of hands, but we want you to take it seriously. So we are gonna do real values. We're gonna do it like a tournament everybody starts with a thousand dollars if you bust out You we will all know you have to ask for more chips

So if you go all in and you're out the tournaments, right? Yeah, then it's embarrassing and then when somebody goes like I do do tournaments, okay But it's just that when yeah when they bust, I do do tournaments. Okay. But it's just that when, yeah, when they bust out, I still need them to play. Right. Because then you, but then you buy them in and you keep track of it. But how about this? Can you fire anybody? Wow.

I mean, technically not really. No. Okay. Understood. By the way, I can not pass them. Amy, just so you know, the lead up to that made it sound like you could fire anyone with great authority And then the ending I felt like your confidence dipped with the last couple words, but it's a no, okay

But also we don't have to go that route, but here's what I'm a firey I mean, I could do a fake fire. No, here's what we're trying to make we're trying to get the stakes, right? We're trying to get people to take it seriously I do think if the winner of each week There's gonna always gonna be some asshole who doesn't care and goes all in on bad Hands and then wins a hand thinks they're cool and then ever loses all their trips But let a few people on each table care and get competitive because if they have a plaque in the casino in the poker room of

The best new dealer from week one best new dealer from week two Then when they're at the table, the players will go like, let's say it says Shark won. Well, I'm playing, I look over and I go to the dealer, hey Shark, you won, and they go, yeah, we do a players, we do a dealers tournament as we're doing, and I won. I have a different respect for Shark. That will change your life as a dealer.

If under, like, let's say you have a name tag, if under there you get a little something that says Something yes, does that help yes? And also that could be fun And also you could do if somebody busts out a lot if they bust out more than three times in a week It has to say their name tag and underneath terrible player So that people go like you're a terrible player, and they go. I'm not good Yeah, no, that's a good idea and they keep it up on the wall so that people can oh I have an idea Amy

Okay, how many how many people are there? Like how many in class? Yeah, how many dealers you got? Total oh boy. I would say there's at least 15 poker dealers. Perfect. That's the exact number. I was hoping on their name tag, Gareth Reynolds, three of 15 dealer poker rankings. We do have name tags where you can write whatever you want underneath.

So they get a ranking at the end of training. Whoever has the most chips is number one. So every day, every, you know, this being in a casino and a table of eight, there's always two jokesters. There's always somebody who talks a lot. At least. Yeah. What? Yeah.

I was waiting for you to talk, but you'll have a name tag so we can put the rankings on the name tag. I think that works. I do too. Garf? I do. I think that works. I like that more than the picture. I do too.

Yeah, that's good. And I think what you would do is maybe you just say for the first couple weeks you have the ranking, but then the person who comes out on top, they get that for a long... I mean, they just get to keep that. I think something like that. My other question would be, so if people bust out. Then they just get more chips because they got to keep trading.

Right. But you can go negative and your rankings matter. You don't want to be 15 of 15. And you don't want to be, you don't want to be. Maybe there's too many times you lose. Maybe there's a penance for 15 of 15. Maybe you also don't want to finish. You want to finish first, but you definitely don't want to finish last.

I think that's right. So we tier something at the bottom. Because then if you go negative, you could buy in again, but it's just like a cash game. So you're down $15,000. Well, it's just like you're trying to stay in the money in a regular tournament. So you don't want to finish last. So I'm wondering if there's a way to like the last person, there's just even because that way if you bust out in the first one, then you still don't want to finish last. So I'm wondering if there's a way to like the last person. There's just even because that way if you bust out in the first one, then you still don't want you know what this makes me think of in the NFL.

The last person drafted Mr. Irrelevant is called Mr. Irrelevant. Uh-huh. So we could have a title for 15 of 15 where it's Biggest Donkey or the name tag. It says Buster. Yeah. Or yet. The name tag just says Donkey. How about a sash? the name tag buster yeah or yeah how about a sad name tag says donkey that's good because if you're at the table and it goes Jake Johnson 1515 donkey yeah everybody's gonna nickname me donkey the players

will call me donkey and how about that you might frown on this at your work but how about if for the first day when this at your work but how about if For the first day when they're out there doing it after this they have a sash that says donkey I think that's fun. Oh a donkey so you get them something made that they have to wear on the first day of the Oh, yeah, so I think the sash might push a little bit although I would love it if you did it, but I think if you do, if you explain to everybody you are doing a tournament style while you're playing, you want the game to be taken seriously.

There will be rankings, which will be on the name tag for the first full week. If you bust out, of course you can buy back in, but we will keep track of your negative numbers. At the end of the week, right before the casino goes, at the end of each day, we talk about your numbers, we write it in a spreadsheet, so you start with the same amount of chips,

just like a multi-day tournament. We will then start the week when the casino first opens on that first Friday when it's busy, we will give a shout out to the top three, to the tables, you guys will stand up and wave, therefore what happens in those moments, people at the table might throw them some extra tips. Yep, good. Where you go like, hey, hey, to the winners! Everybody goes like, hey, and then might throw them some extra tips. But you go like, hey, to the winners.

Everybody goes like, hey. And then if you're at a hot table, you go like, my man, here's a couple bucks. And then you have to also then go, the donkey gets nothing but a name tag that says 15 out of 15 donkey. And it may be a donkey size. And maybe a donkey size.

Yeah, so you don't wanna lose. No. You wanna win and you don't wanna lose. No. That's amazing. You wanna win and you don't wanna lose. And you wanna be in the top three or the top five because they are gonna get a special shout out. I think you're right too about the tips going their way more when you get that shout out.

It will, it's exciting. And then if you're a donkey. A little bit of a celebrity factor. Yes, but if you're a donkey or 14 out of 15, you're just gonna hear a lot from guys like me at the table. If I'm at a table and we're all having fun and the dealer's having fun and then I see 14 to 15, I am gonna go, what's that?

And they go, of the 15 dealers here, I'm the 14th. And then you go like, so you're a terrible player, man. And they go, yeah, and you go, that's cool, I gotta keep my eyes on you because you're that bad and you're dealing. So then everybody's gonna be up their butt and going like, hey, sir, flip the card. and they're gonna go, I know how to deal and I go, I know, but you don't know how to play. So that'll be incentive for the people and then some people who

don't care are gonna take the loss, but you're gonna then start a thing when you start training new dealers. It'll go like, winning matters. I want them to know that that's all it's like it gets to a point where it's just too much because it's Side plots every hand and it's so stupid. So now I think we gave you a really solid pitch But yeah, it's not about what I think it's not about what Garf thinks. It's not about what shark thinks. It's about what Amy The silver Fox from Canada thinks. Amy, when it comes to our ideas, are you in or do you fold? I'm all in. John Malkovich with a Russian accent.

Amy, when it comes to our ideas, are you all in or will you be folding this hand? Pretty good. Pretty good. You found it at the end. I did. I need a couple of warm-up swings. You found it at the end. I did. But you found it. You found it. So Amy, what are you going to do? Okay. I like it. I think I'm going to definitely keep track of the amount of chips everyone's winning. So there is something to win for at the end. Right. And like either do a picture on the wall or if I can get the name tag, that would be great. But I don't know if we're allowed to you know casinos have very strict policies about this kind of thing. I know that.

But then what you could also do is the top three you could also do the donkey gets a pick. I also think do the shout out to the top three. I think that I think anyway to kind of so celebrities the top three is going to help them and that is incentive. Yeah, no I agree. Maybe I'll buy like a stuffed donkey or something. I love it. That's great.

I love it. And then will you keep us updated with if you do it, what do you do, how do you do it, and if it works? I will, I'll send you a picture. I love it. Great. I'm curious about this one. That's great. Okay, thanks guys.

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This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.yeah. All right, Shark, you know what's up. It's finally time for summer travel, and there are so many choices of places to stay on Booking.com across the United States, from the stylish hotels, the family-friendly resorts, the cute B&Bs, beds and breakfasts. Breakfasts? That did not go right. Booking.com has the right option for you this summer. So book a fabulous stay and maybe catch a baseball game while you're visiting your rival team city.

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Jake's eating a lot and Kevin said, let's see how this goes. So I got a good feeling about this call. Can we get your name, your age, where you're calling from and your hair color? Oh, absolutely. I love these questions. My name is Talia. I am from the Metro Atlanta area and I am 32 years old and currently my color is like a caramel color.

Ooh, caramel. So you're not a natural caramel? I am not, I am not. And your name again is, we say your name again. Talia. Talia. Talia, yes. Okay, sure.

And what is the natural? You're dark brown, you're light blonde? No, it's actually black. I'm Mexican heritage so it's actually black I'm Mexican heritage so it's all black well and you've turned it to a car you you know I was called a strawberry blonde growing up but anyway it's not about me so Tilly what can we always about you garrison stop stop listen to anyone listening don't parrot the Jake stuff okay find your own energy to all of this

It's all married well go back to black go ahead to Leah Sounds great. Um, so Two years ago my sister and I started a book club and mind you my sister was someone who did not enjoy reading and over through this book club She's found her love for reading and we had a third individual Join this book club, which is great. And so quick Paul Hold on time time do it do it the first book club was just you and your sister Or is it just you and your sister reading a book? What's a club?

I think club, three or more. I would dare I say yes. Three is a minimum. A small club. Three is generous. But Talia, back to you. Yeah, so three was the minimum. So that's where we started.

And then over time, it began to grow, which is a great problem to have. And I am a teacher. So who am I to to say don't join the book club, right? I think the worst teacher in America and so this friend this third individual Be can it began to invite her friends which again is great. Who am I to say? No You're the leader of the goddamn club I'm not sure you know what a book club is or a club in general. You are allowed to Nixon No, but you keep saying who am I?

You're the commissioner founder. Here's a founder. Yeah, I might have fired the fry cook. You're Ronald McDonald 100% Alright, you're right. You're right. So With the addition of new members, we went from 3 to 11 the chemistry of the book club changed And so now I'm at the point two years later where I'm just straight up not having a good time. I don't even look forward to it. I feel like I am just like huffing and puffing the entire time, again, not having a good time.

And now I guess my question is, and my problem is, is how do I go this book club that I started but no longer wanna be a part of. I respect this. Can you walk us through some of the a little bit more specifically how you feel like the book club has lost you? Can I try to answer for you? Oh yes please. The third person came in her vibe wasn't great but who's Talia to say so she just let her in then they she invited another friend then those two was like two to Two then they brought more of their friends, and they're just not people that she likes to be around

They're not bad people or anything who's she to judge them But they're not the kind of people she wants to be around then the club got more and more people and now it's just a group Of 11 people besides your sister. She doesn't really want to talk books with these people are offers is accurate 100% all of that. And they're just... And all he wanted to do was interrupt it as if I was wrong. It's all about Gareth. Go ahead. Carmel's perfect. See, I told you. I told you. Jesus Christ, can I talk? Okay, do you feel like you're not like as far as the books you're picking, are you losing connection to those? Are you not able to talk as much?

Are there a couple people you really don't like or it's just in general? It's what Jake said, Jake said. You just had to talk though, huh? So no, I love the books that we're picking. I enjoy the books that we're picking. I feel like my voice is being heard Everything's great. It's just

There's a couple of people that I don't Like uh, jake mentioned they're not bad people. I think they're good people. I just don't enjoy hanging out with them Like everything is great. And when we sit down to talk about the books instead of it being a discussion We've got a couple of people that say oh I didn't like it for these reasons and then that's it that's the end of book club and so no matter how much I try to spark up the conversation it always ends with no I didn't like the book and for whatever reason and then that's it and so it's just like okay so then we're just wasting our time. Can I walk a mile with you to maybe go a block?

Good. Please, please. Let's say you started sorority and it was just you and your sister. I have not. No, I know you haven't. You would have let out with that. Oh, sorry.

Let's say, if you have and you hadn't told us at this point of the call and that was a coincidence, best moment of our show. Have you started sorority? I have. Go into the Atlanta region. What? Everything, Jake's just on fire today.

Jake's psychic. Holy shit. But let's say you and your sister decided to start a two-woman sorority. And then the sorority started to grow with members. You know, every year new kids try to pledge. You've seen that TikTok craze down south in Alabama. Everybody goes out and they wanna get picked.

But who are we to say they can't come to this sorority? I'll tell you, you're the Gammas. And the Gammas say no, and the Alphas say yes, right? And the Betas say another thing, because you get to pick. So what happened is you allowed your book club to be overrun by Betas, But girl, you guys are gammas. So it's not a bad thing to ghost you and your sister.

Hand pick your favorites and if there's none, throw that fish back in the god damn lake and you two guys start a whole new book club, just you. And you know who you are to tell people they can't come? The leader. CEO. C-E motherfucking O, you're the boss. And if somebody wants to come, to tell people they can't come the leader CEO see a Motherfucking oh you're the boss and if somebody wants to come okay? They are handpicked by you they have the vibe you like they have everything you like and if somebody doesn't have it

Let me recommend you to another book club Yeah, you got your right. You got your B team. Yeah, I like that. What do you think of that? I like that I think do you think of that? I like that. I think vetting some of these members before they come in, like an application process. Yes. Be like, hey, let's see what's up,

like a dry run of the book club. And then if not, be like, sorry, girlfriend, we're not feeling it. But also, there's nothing wrong. It doesn't make you, it's not bad to say you can't join this club. You make it exclusive. And the way they get in

is you do a full-on interview. Okay. Is this something you would do? Yeah, I think that's a great suggestion. Here's my concern. My concern is that you've built this thing now, you're kind of outnumbered, it's gonna be hard to call the herd a little bit.

Yeah, cut it loose. I think she thinks hanging out with her sister can be called a club. Don't forget that. I agree. But we also might comedically be missing the opportunity for her to have a great retirement. Like for her to leave in blaze a glow. Yeah. Like if you're gonna get fired, let's make it fun. Before he pitches this, is there any world where you could see yourself quitting the group in a ridiculous way?

And as you go out, think Denzel Washington and Training Day type vibes. You are King Kong, right? You let that ending rip and then you're hand picking a couple and you're going like, Denise, Judy, I'll send you two a text the rest of y'all. Yeah deuces Okay, when you're here in this have some fun caramel tea. Where we at I like that I think I like out of the group. I'm the more outrageous one And I think it would not come as a surprise to anybody if I were to pull a Denzel, okay Pull the danger by the way, we have a new term. Yeah, Denzel title title

title Question for you about pulling a Denzel before we start building this with you Is there anybody out of that 11 besides your sister that you want to start this new club with? Um, there's Two specifically. Yeah, right. So you take the two. Can we get their names? Yeah, we've got Carmen and Janeth. Carmen and Janeth? Yeah. Janeth? Yes. T-H at the end? Yes. Janeth? Yes. In a book club? Yeah. So it's like if Steve Berg had a Janeth. I don't know, simply Janeth, you idiot. Finally, somebody has said it right. To be clear, her name is J-A-N-I-T-H. E-T-H.

Okay, so it's like... It's Gareth. Gareth. If Gareth begged Janeth. If you met her in Fallen Love, this is the greatest end to a call. I'm Gareth. We worked backwards from Janeth. So okay, so we got the two we like, and you're open to starting a new book club. Yes

100% yes, what would you call the new club starting with you sis Janice and the other lady whose name I can't remember Yeah, Janice really took the headlines Yeah, she did Carmen Carmen. Um, I Don't I don't think I have a name. I think it was always just like, you know, ladies book club, but I feel so lame especially for if we're gonna pull a if I'm gonna pull a Denzel like I feel like I have to come up with a Include badass name and quick question before we start building this night Is there a vibe of books that you want the LBC to cover? That is not being covered in the group 11 is you're like are you like for fuck's sake? This is just Oprah's book club

I want to do books like this Yeah, like more historical fiction or like great some psychological thrillers They're you know, so you want to get a little bit wild and how does Janice feel? Yeah wild names not normal Yeah with Janice like I feel like she she's willing to get a little crazy, get a little wild, just a little nervous. Because we both know Carmen is. She'll read anything. She wild.

Carmen's wild. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Okay, so we all have a Carmen in our book club. So- Haha, title. It's just happening. It's Harris and your book club.

Yeah, yeah, exactly right. Can I pitch a your book club. Yeah, yeah, exactly right. Can I pitch a name? Yes. Janeth. Nopra's book club because you don't say yes to everyone. Shark from the dark. Shark. Shark from the dark for three.

By the way, Nopra's book club because you don't say yes to everyone is awesome. There we go. What do you think of that? I like that. I got the beginning of your Denzel. Okay, okay, I'm ready. Middle of the book club. What's one of those women's name who we hate

in the book club? Callie. Callie? Just pretend Callie. There is a Callie. Of course. Just pretend she's yapping on about some book. She's getting lost in the second act and who gives a rat's ass in the middle of it. You just go like this

announcement While she's talking Announcement being being being being bored Killing the vibe Starting a new book club next Friday. It's called Nopra book club next Friday. It's called Nopra. Not Oprah, Nopra. Why? Because not everyone's invited and then you go to your sister, sis, I know you're in. She'll go, hell yeah, I'm out of this dump. Then you go, Carmen, Janet, you want to dance? And you go, don't answer now, I'll text you later. Then you and your sister stand up and go continue on your boring ass chatter

Big thoughts it's you're Jerry McGuire out of the room. Yes, so to you though thoughts Is that a zone you might do is this too far? Is this good? Where we at? No, I like that and could like and I wanted to see what how you felt about this because I have a Bluetooth like karaoke mic So would it be acceptable? For me to have my mic now no fine great. That's great. You got it near you Not with me. No. Okay. Do you have an idea of? Just after my soft pitch what we've been kind of saying do you

have a vibe of what you might try to do yeah I think I think so you know like because I've been sitting here on these unread text messages where they're trying to like coordinate this this passbook club the one I'm trying to go and so I'm sitting on these text messages where I just don't know even what to respond but Now there is there is more of an idea like I have a direction that I can go towards while also Calling and pulling a Denzel and pull a training day with my mic and saying no absolutely not boring. We got to go Let's hit up McDonald's for some french fries, and then we'll talk about details Oh, I like the addition of fries for no reason

We all do I like it same. I like adding in McDonald's fries for some reason. You can't go wrong I do have an alt okay, and this is not the Denzel okay as we were getting close to getting out of here I know okay. I just want to say it just so we have it Okay, this is like everyone's getting their keys and Gary goes shots. Yep the parties end by the way totally my move I know I'm glad we all have keys. Yeah I What if what if we spend two book clubs making them be like that was the weirdest thing that's ever happened and you kind of?

Making them be like that was the weirdest thing that's ever happened and you kind of Exit a little bit more like a gas like you ruined the vibe like you're having but then I know No, no, it's gonna well, I think we can tell them Hey, I just wanted out and I wanted to leave comedically walk us through how we would do that Okay, so you reply to these texts and you go. Hey guys, I know I've been silent recently The truth is it's been hard for me to read So you reply to these texts and you go, hey guys, I know I've been silent recently. The truth is it's been hard for me to read. I've been having some trouble reading because of my eyes, but I finally found a doctor who thinks he can help me.

Then you go to the Goodwill and you go buy a really weird pair of prescription glasses. I thought you were going to say, then a doctor comes in. Your doctor comes in. Hey everybody, I'm the doctor. Yeah, we're like, this sucks. So you come in with real weird- Prop glasses. doctor comes in. Hey, everybody on the doctor. Yeah. We're like, this sucks. Okay. So you come in with real weird-

So prop glasses. Prop glasses that make your eyes huge. Okay. And during the book club, you're getting very frustrated and you're trying to read and you're having issues with it. And at some point you throw down the book and then in the next text exchange, you send a link to a cookbook and you say, this would be the next book you'd like to try to read, and then you ghost the group. There's also, look, I've been very immature in the lab

because we recorded some yesterday. If we're doing this, does she get a fart machine? Yes. Stop answering that. Mike is not only serious, but the right answer. You're going like this. Oh, yes. It'll be two fart machines, but the right answer. You're going like this. Huh, yes. It'll be two fart machines, one for an intercessor.

But there is a world where you get fake glasses, you do the eye thing. All right, by the way, I know I answered serious. The addition of a fart machine to the weird glass thing, we're just talking about how do you have the weirdest retirement ever. Yeah, but I'll tell you this. If I'm in a book club, and I'm just lady number eight,

and I'm there, I'm a friend of a friend trying to make some friends in Atlanta. I just moved here, I don't have a lot of friends. I'm 31 years old. I'm trying to dye my hair, but it's not quite working yet. And I haven't found my groove. I think maybe this could be a group of gals, I don't know. And then one lady, all of a sudden does this weird thing

where she says like her eyes hurt or something, and I'm like, who cares? You're not even one of my closest friends, but your glasses suck. And then all of a sudden throughout the whole meeting, if this is just a lot of like, and she doesn't read this, but if she doesn't comment on it and then nobody does, then if someone laughs, you go like, Oh, you really think IBS is funny? And they go like, Whoa, I didn't know you had IBS. And then you go, I don't. I was just wondering if you think IBS is funny. And they're like, no, I don't think a disease is funny. And you go, exactly.

And then they go, but you don't have it. And then you go. And then you go, I have to go to the bathroom. And then you're gone for 10 minutes. Or you go, I have to go to the bathroom, but you don't get up. Or you have to go to the bathroom and you never come back. OK. Oh, just grab my bag and just go to the bathroom and disappear. I got to go to the bathroom and you never come back Okay, oh Just grab my bag and just go to the bathroom and disappear. I gotta go to the bathroom this by the way

I teased you but you were right to pitch shots cuz now we're drunk. Yeah, and it tastes so good It's fun once it touches your lips There's another move. That's not the Denzel move, which I like about this And this is you just go you bring a fart machine You start acting like you're having some you bring a fart machine, you start acting like you're having some sort of a diarrhea attack and you go like, by the way, our show, we are now the diarrhea fart show.

Year two. Yeah, yeah. Oh, happy one year, guys. We're getting off of this soon but we gotta finish this because we started. We finished this one, we're starting year two with some juice though. Then we're gonna, everybody before you comment,

a lot of diarrhea jokes, we get it. We know. This, look, we are men in our mid- 40s getting near 50 with some of us are we but we're all there I honestly I'm not even sure But what is your driver's license say? Check with driver Okay, so but I think this could be right I think I gotta go to the bathroom you run out and you never come back That's it

I would also suggest we text Jonathan the other one whose name begins with a C. Yeah, I'm in prior to this Yeah, and we say hey look, I think and I think you're kind of in this approach You're gonna lose Carmen and Janet, but you find new members She thinks maybe club is just her we can sister. We can olive branch after, but yeah, you will rebuild. We're just talking about a legendary exit status. So, Carmel T, where you at? You want Denzel or you want a explosive diarrhea? I go to the bathroom and you never come back.

And then your sister goes, I should check on her. And then she never comes back. That's great. Thoughts? I think I like the idea more of the Denzel. I'm a middle school teacher. And so I feel like I can bring out my middle school teacher persona with the mic, which is already pink and ridiculous

looking. I do want the mic. All right, so before, but let's do then Hmm. We go to the club right now Gareth is some lady. I'm some lady shark is allowed to talk if he wants to and then at a certain point We want to hear your Denzel. Yeah, are you ready? Okay? Okay. Okay. I think I'm ready Okay, we go to the Atlanta area Interior book club So I really I don't know if I loved this book so much

I felt it was a little like I don't know. What did you think? Well, first of all, thank you for such a specific breakdown. I was talking to shark I was getting lost. Yeah, like I was a new character like every other page. And I'm kind of like, there's like four, I'm like, I just didn't like it. I didn't like how short the chapters were. I like when a chapter goes on for a little while and you can kind of get invested in the chapter. Pause, pause, pause. Absolutely not. You know what I didn't like? You or your shirt. Goodbye. Goodbye, Danis, Carmen, Jessica, let's go. Goodbye.

Let's go get some fries. Don't text me anymore. Goodbye. Okay, okay. I mean, wild. Wild, cool. Cool. I mean.

Wild though. First, before we go, how did that feel to you? That felt very natural. Honestly, I'm not a very confrontational person, but I think I've been seething in this feeling for so long that it's just, it's ready to come out. And I, it felt very natural. Can we pitch on that pitch? Yes.

Okay. Because it's good. The energy is good. I think we just need to give you a little bit punchier. How about if we relate the book club to a book that you don't enjoy? And you're like, let me tell you about a book I got involved in recently that started with a couple characters that I

was really invested in. And then it kind of grew. And then it kind of became the sort of book that I dreaded reading. Every week I'd have to read a chapter. And I started to hate it more and more. And now I just can't even finish it and I'm done with it and that book is called This Book Club.

Janeth, whatever your name is, and then Fart Machine and then get out. No Fart Machine. Okay, fine, but I just think we can sell this. I think Gareth is onto something because that felt weird and personal where you said like, I don't like your shirt and then you said, you seem to say okay a lot. And lot and I would be thinking the fries ending. I think we got a

We need a build to the fries if you don't cut the fries if you just go, okay, okay, I'm out Let's get some fries. I'm thinking what's going on with that lady. Yeah, that's not Denzel. It's somebody It's somebody Okay, stop stop I don't like your shirt let's get some fries pause pause fries So let's do one more we got Kevin's given up to but I don't want to stop on you yet. We're close So think about connected it to the book club not personal to anybody But this book club ain't it and you're going and if fries want to be mentioned That's a dealer's choice and do we want her we want her give her a good ending line like This book is closed. Ooh something like that. You like something like that. I

Think so I think I can do yes. Yes, we can do that Okay, and then do you want to say but a new do you want to go back to the bring up Nopra? But I'm starting a new book club called Nopra and it's called Nopra because not everybody's invited We're just throwing things at you only use what you like. Yep Options, okay. There's also the McDonald's fries on the way home, which was another angle you seem to go down. Yep Let's remember we're putting that on ice. All right. Are you ready? Talia yes, I'm ready. Okay. Yes, I'm ready And so what did you think of chapter four of this book? It's right. I was talking to shark You know, I gotta say I really what I love about this book club is how open we are to everyone's opinions

The book is called I was talking to shark That's really sort of a weird thing to say, but yes. Why are you making it personal? I'm not. I'm just saying, I also thought that this chapter dragged a little bit. I know it was just weird for you to say the title in that context. It was literally two pages. It was weird for you to say that in that context. Agree with me. Well, so I wanted to say,

could I add something here? Sure, Talia, please. Yeah, go. But I saw a lot of similarities with this other book that I had read over the last year or so. And one of the things that I noticed with this book is that it was starting out great. I was very excited.

It had a really good direction, a good plot there at the beginning. But then as the book progressed, I just found myself finding it more and more difficult to finish the book and I was dreading it every time I went back to read it. And, you know, it got to the point where I just couldn't finish the book. And, you know know I felt bad about about closing the book putting it away before I finished it but honestly you know I I did that I think it was okay to close that chapter and I'm kind of ready to move on okay that's a weird story without what we know what the books called yep don't forget to

connect you whatever the book is to whatever you're trying to do here to learn. I forgot about yeah I forgot I would go faster and then you but everything you were saying was right a third of the time and then and get To the what you're saying. Oh last time here we go What did you think? I didn't love this ending. It felt like it was really jarring. What'd you think? I don't know I was kind of difficult this whole book. I was talking to shark. That's the title of the book. No, I'm literally talking to shark That's really crazy. What did you think? Yeah changing from first to second to third person was very disorienting It was weird. I get it was experimental but I was like the main character just like but like badgered his way into like

Situations when it didn't feel like it required. I don't think that's true. It felt like the main character was just writing his own dialogue all the time and when any other character talked. It kind of feels like some characters are louder than other characters in this book club. Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean, to me, it just felt like the kind of book where I was like, I don't know what

this is all about. I quit. And I want to tell you about a book that I've been reading. No. It's super boring. No, you're not allowed to do this. And my partner yap, yap, yap all the time. And I wanna start a new book club

because this book club is over. And my new book club's called Nopra Bitch. What is your problem? Because not everybody is in class. What are you doing? Talia, you wanna come with me? Candice? Yeah.

Janeth is in, Carmen's in, and your sister's in. Also, you wanna come with me? Candice? Yeah. I mean, Janeth is in, Carmen's in, and your sister's in. Also, do you like McDonald's? What the hell just happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go. Wanna get some fries? Cause everybody loves fries. Gareth, bye.

Yeah, let's do it. Shark? Bye, Gareth. Bye, Gareth. Bye, Talia. Chomp, chomp, shark. I don't know, I'm not sure. I think in that zone, if you try it, I think you could win.

I would love if you did it. Maybe get your sister to film it. Please. Pretend she's texting. And once you start, and maybe as a thought, if you're getting off track, your sister can say, hey, what's that book called? Yes, that's right. Call and response always helps.

And I would do a few run throughs in the mirror before the big event. Let's do it really fast. One last word, Drew, where you take the lead. Interrupt us fast. We got nothing in our setup. I really didn't care for this book. I mean, I liked it, but I also thought this book was just kind of obnoxious at certain points.

Yeah. What did you think? Yeah, I didn't like this book either. And honestly, like I am just ready to start this new book. And you know, very similar to this book club I'm ready to close this chapter and start this new book and book club called no breath Garth Jake shark you guys ready? Yeah. I also want to pick up some fries All right

Don't forget to rehearse it in the mirror once or twice. That's good. I will. I will. But I think, are you going to actually do this? Yeah, absolutely. I have my mic ready to go. Can you please ask your sister to hide her phone as if she's texting and film a low angle just so we have a video of just you, none of the other women in it just so we can see

this. Make sure we can hear the audio. Yes, please. Okay. Okay. All right, Julia and good luck Good luck. Thank you. Thank you so much guys. This is the one hanging on me. Thank you. Good. You got it You got it. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Good luck Thanks guys. Bye. Bye I think we could even use this part because here's what I loved about this call just now

Is that we weren't done? But we have like she needs a little more work for sure. But we're also like, we gotta move on. But I think she will get there. I just think there were- This chicken needs to marinate for about six more hours. The last one I was like, you're not closer. She's not there.

You haven't gotten closer. But she's very confident, which I like. I think it'll work. You haven't gotten closer. But she's very confident, which I like. I think it'll work. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Greenlight is something that I personally have, Kevin, which I've told you about. I got Gareth's too, because he doesn't have kids.

So it is a debit card and a money app for families where kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely and parents can keep an eye on kids' new money habits. I find it really important. I think kids need to understand the value of money as fast as possible and I like things like Greenlight. With a chores feature that lets you reward kids for honoring their responsibilities around the house. You can help kids get into their fall routine more easily than ever. Shout out to Eve Johnson, who I know

is not listening to the ads, but mom, you should have done green light and paid me for those chores. The amount of stuff I did as a child that I was like, yes, $3. That was a full day's worth of labor. That was 10 hours of leaves. So sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to greenlight.com slash Gil sent me. That's greenlight.com slash Gil sent me to try Greenlight for free. Greenlight.com slash Gil sent me. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, My name is Carrie. I'm calling from Atlanta, Georgia. And the issue I'm calling in about is that my mother-in-law makes a very obnoxious sound when she yawns. And it happens usually when conversation lags. Oh, so it's, oh, so it's pointed. It's aggressive. Once she starts, she won't stop. So I was calling to ask if maybe there was a polite way to confront her or maybe just

a silly way to get her to stop doing that. Yeah, this is interesting. Before we hear it Garf, is that what you were about to do? Of course. What's mom-in-law like? What's her vibe? She's a Southern gal? Where is she at? She's lived most of her later years here in Georgia. She's very sweet. She's a Christian lady. She's very sweet, but she's older and I think 37 years old. She's older.

She's me and Gareth's age, not Kevin's. Okay, so she's kind of sweet. Do you guys get along well? Yes.'s. Okay. So, so she's kind of sweet. Do you guys get along well? Yes. Yes. Okay. Or do you guys, do you, is she around your family a bunch? Are you guys like a big unit? No, she's, she's shy. She's on the sier side. My husband and I got married about two years, two and a half years ago. Her family is in North Carolina. And that's what sparked me wanting to call in is because we just drove up there to let her visit with his side of

the family. And that's about a six hour drive for us. And like I said, once she starts yawning, she won't stop. And you know, it's cute, maybe the third time, but after the 20th time I'm already just around myself. So she yawns when she's bored. I guess. Or when someone's not talking to her. Oh, like if others are talking, she'll yawn to get attention. It kind of seems that way to me.

My husband thinks that it's just a nervous pick that she's developed. Maybe she's uncomfortable with silence, but I'm not really sure what's going on. All I know is that I'm feeling frustrated by it. That's what I think we're trying to find out. Is she just, does she have a crazy yawn or is she, is there something loaded behind the yawn? Yeah, exactly. We're saying we're not sure, but either way, it's maybe more loaded. Husband's defending mom.

Yep. And he's going like, she just has a little anxiety. She gets a little nervous. Who knows? Yeah. Harry's seeing mom, mom-in-law as I see your move lady. Yeah. You're not getting the attention you want.

And so all of a sudden it's, it's like a dog. It's like a dog that if you don't pet it, all of a sudden it's like a dog it's like a dog that if you don't pet it all of a sudden they go like you're like shut up okay we need we need to hear it yeah we need first of all what's this woman's name what are we calling her um let's call her robin Let's call her Robin. Hurry up. Sorry. Jesus, Jake. Carrie's been through enough. Hurry up.

What's the name? Robin. We'll call her Robin. Robin. Okay, good. By the way, you sound like a sick donkey. Thank you. For sure.

Original party donkey on Berg's arm. That's right. So Carrie, I guess now is the time. Let's make the Garf man happy. Can we hear the yawn? Yeah, OK. So y'all just pretend that you're in your thoughts, because that's how car rides go.

Sometimes the conversation just stops for a little bit. We know what silence is. We got it. Right. Behind you, you'll hear you'll hear something along the lines of this. Oh, it does. I'm telling me that's not like girls on a chalkboard That's annoying. That's a lot and and you're telling me Carrie. That's not exaggerated. That's to the best of your ability Yeah, that's crazy. Okay Okay, that's that's really exaggerated. That's to the best of your ability. Yeah, that's crazy. OK, very OK. That's really pointed.

That's really intense. That's really annoying. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's that's a lot. That's not a nervous. That's egregious. That is egregious. I have a question, Carrie. When that happens, you ever laugh? I think it would make me so uncomfortable at a certain point. I would just start laughing at how ridiculous it is

Well, here's the deal when we we have we've tried to go out her many ways with this We do laugh at her. It's like that just feeds the fire. She thinks it's funny He thinks that we're laughing with her. So when you've when you've tried to do a bunch of stuff, what have you done? laughing with her. So when you've tried to do a bunch of stuff, what have you done? Well, my husband's gotten a little messed with her. You know, don't start that. Don't start that.

Ooh, he tries to see gets he gets mad. I mean, he's never going to get angry with her about it. You know, she can't control it. And he says, don't start that. He only takes so much, just like me. He'll give his mom, can you imagine if I did that to Eve? If my mom made a weird yawn, I'd go, don't start that. My nose would be bent in the other direction.

She would finish that. Yeah, I'd go like this, she'd go, meh, I'd go down, wah! Ha ha ha! Meh! And I'd go like this. No, I was saying, do it, I was saying, do it. I was saying, don't stop.

I was saying, don't stop doing it, it's great. I was saying, thank you. It's a nice sound, it's like a bird singing. I haven't even done it, I didn't even do it. I was saying do it. I was saying don't stop. I was saying don't stop doing it. It's great. Thank you It's a nice sound. It's like a bird singing. I haven't even done it. I didn't even do anything Jesus christ my fucking nose mom You fucking you punched it straight It's normal try to punch it smaller Uh, okay. So what else have what else have you guys done? Because I have a pitch but we've like her whole family notices that and

But if we give her any kind of attention, she'll lean into it more. We suggested her going to lay down She's not into that idea She just likes the attention try ignoring it just to see okay. Here's my pitch You ever been around coyotes? No No, I thought that was gonna be a yes. So if you... That threw me. That threw me. You weren't prepared for this follow-up. Well, I was sure we were going one direction, now we're in another one, and I feel like I'm in the... I feel like I'm the mother-in-law yawning. Jake in a pitch

meeting. You ever run around coyotes? No. Thank you guys for having me. Thanks a lot. This show is not going to work for you. Then it just goes, oh. So here's my pitch, and the reason I say that about the coyotes. Once one starts going,

they all start going. So once you hear one, then you're, and then you you got a whole bunch together. So what I would recommend you doing when she yawns, y'all yawn. So one turns to three, whoever's in the car. So if she goes, can you do it again? Uh, Carrie, can you be Robin for a second and just start yawn? And we're going to jump in and show you the pitch.

So let's just pretend we're all talking. So Gareth, you're the husband, I'm Carrie, we're in the car driving. Oh wait, it's actually, it's quiet actually. She talks when there's no attention her way. Oh! It's pretty good. And you all do it, then she'll go, then nobody comments though.

So you never say anything. But she makes the sound, you all make the sound. I was skeptical. Hearing it, it's pretty good. It's just. Yeah, right. And then Garrett, you jump in on this one too with the yawns. So let's try it again.

Now let's pretend we're just talking and then have a different version of how Robin jumps in and then Robin, play it the way you think. I mean, I'm sorry, Carrie, play it the way you think your mother-in-law would play it post the yawn. Post yawn. Okay. Okay. So we're just going to play it out for a little bit.

In the aftermath. Yeah. Just see what could happen. So we're in the car driving Hey, how much longer you think until we get to the DQ three hours? But we'll probably stop for gas in a minute. I think the gas prices get cheaper up ahead a little bit Yeah, so but I hope we could Just me. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Say it again. What's that? Is everybody tired? No, I thought it was just me. No, just, I don't know.

Just in the drive. Yeah. So you said the gap, you want to stop before the DQ. I think if we leave, once we get past this major city, we'll probably be able to save like 30 cents a gallon. All right. Let's just do it. I mean, we're just driving all the way there. That think if we leave once we get past this major city we'll probably be able to save like 30 cents a gallon. All right let's just do it. I mean we're just driving all the way there. What do you think, Carrie? I like it. I think it's great. I think it could truly work, especially if you get everybody in the family in on it. Yeah, yeah once we get around the first side. I think it's great. I really like it. I'm gonna give honorable mention to my ideas, but I think this is the one that's here

I think earplugs you put earplugs in very distinctly and with great showmanship or You just turn music up real loud if you're in the car and if you're not you put music on yes Yeah, just turn the radio on. But I think this is a funny way, it is just a direct hit into her battleship. I'm glad you said battleship at the end because that's what it felt like. It felt like a battleship that only has two pieces and you're just hitting it. You know, like it's very soon, your game's going to be over. Yeah.

And it's not mean you're able to laugh at it. If she laughs, you guys can laugh after. Yes, it's like, it's kind of a low stakes approach, but it is very effective. I think it's a win. And if she says, what are you guys doing? You say, yawns are contagious. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of perfect, because I really don't wanna be mean to her. No, it's meant to be fun. It's meant to be fun. Yeah But then she'll realize how crazy it is the way her Your yawn sounds and I think you got a it stick to it everywhere so I'm like, yeah agreed So you're actually going to do this? Yes, I will put it to my husband Agreed. So are you actually going to do this?

Yes, I will pitch it to my husband. You know, he's going to have to get on board. I can't do it alone. Oh, great. He needs to be on board. Will you follow up with us? Yeah, absolutely. OK, so maybe I can try to record it. Please. All right. Jesus Christ, you listen to this show.

Yes, do that. And if your husband gives you any pushback on this, have him call us and we will do the hard sell. So now in order to get out of this call, we're going to do one more reenactment. We're going to end on the yawns, but you are back to Robin. We're all talking in the car and let's just feel it one more time. Okay.

Here we go. Yes. Traffic is brutal. I don't know. Where's everyone going? I don't know. What's everyone going? I don't know. What does the Google Maps say? What says there maybe is an accident?

Like three. Oh! Thanks for the call, Kerry. Thank you so much, guys. Bye. See you. Bye. Bye. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Hey, everyone, producer Kevin here. The original call from this next follow-up aired on May 2nd. It's called You Are the Danger and it is the second call from that episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello. How are you?

Hello. I am good. How are you guys? Good. Hello, how are you? Oh, I am good. How are you guys good? We know this is a Follow-up, but that's all garrison. I know Okay. Well, um, I I called in a few months ago you guys referred to me as mr. H A teacher I'm a teacher We've talked about you just like off the air just because you were a great

personality and what a great problem. So what's going on hot takes? So let me start before I forget just to say thank you because you guys killed it. Yes. Yes. Yes. It was what I specifically called, I wanted you guys to get me out of it. Right. that that that

that that that that that that that that

that that that I had been doing these hot takes, it had been a chore, I had been trying to come up with stuff, and then I knew if I just went with the hot takes and really leaned into them and showed the kids what I could do or what I thought they were, then I could shift, I could get them to give it to me. Yeah. So I really leaned in, I went strong, you know. Sweatpants and pajama pants are both the same thing, I refuse to wear them.

Great one. Great. In the summer, summer's great, beaches, ice cream, they both stink. So I kept doing these. Kids are going crazy. They eventually start talking about them. I have other teachers coming up to say, hey, what's going on with the hot takes? I've got kids emailing me from their house to say their parents prepared hot dogs the

wrong way according to me. And it just kept growing. Okay. So eventually another teacher, also the soccer coach came up to me and said, Hey, I can't shut these kids up about hot takes. I said, you, you come in and do one. I brought in a guest hot take. The kids recruited him. He came in.

He gave a rant about how his friends made fun of him for eating Domino's But he was gonna stand by and say Domino's was underrated Great. That's a hot take. I Greg from the kids parmesaned them if you will Yeah, okay I would change hot takes for my students next year without telling them most of them would be my student next year takes for my students next year without telling them most of them would be my student next year and said that I was going to get the kids to do it. They got jealous.

So they committed to it without knowing what they were committing to. Darn it. You tell me what they wanted to give their hot takes about. Wow. So we start school in a week. I've got a slideshow ready to go. I've got my first couple of hot takes ready to go just to set the pace for the year.

Can you send us the, can you send us the slides? I? Sent Kevin one by one unfinished slide, but I sent him the hot take intro Which is just how I'm gonna introduce it to the kids so basically mr. H. You're back not only you back You're better than ever yeah now. It's like it's a teaching tool and the kids are into it. Yeah, the kids are super into it. And I got to say, like, I am terrible at, like, not telling people things. So I ended up confessing to my boss, the principal, the assistant superintendent of the district that I had called into a podcast show with the name Hank.

They listened to it. You guys were described as pedagogically sound Now tell him that if he wants think it's a compliment. Oh, what's that word mean for the shark? It's like education thing. It's about like Listen, okay. Sorry. I got so heated sounds like Yeah, that's great. That's a big win. And you feel good. I mean, because what you've done now

is something you wanted to retire has now become your calling card. That's exactly right. And something that, I mean, when I think back to school, I was so bored by school. Always. Little things like this would keep me going. Hot takes would be a guy like you

and a guy like me. The best. The the best thing the best that's the I would be coming yes to show your actual acumen in some way 100% so so you've really flipped it so I guess what we're asking is probably well quickly we've got we've got your first slide of hot takes oh wow can we are we I mean is it a spoiler if we know these kids aren't we you know in a week. I will say bizarrely the kids aren't listening to how we're here to help but the co-teacher one of my classrooms we had never talked about the podcast she listened to it and the day I came out called me out when she walked in the building and said good morning. That's hilarious. Amazing.

By the way, this is great. What you have up here, how can I share my hot takes? Hot take in on the day of your hot take. Have two to three slides prepared that slate your case. Be prepared to defend your opinion and your honor as we all push back. You have no more than five minutes to use your time. What Mr. H this is. That's great.

You have schooled up the hot takes. Like you have a hot take syllabus. Basically. This is excellence, man. It is extra credit. They will get completely changed my mind on something. Oh, so if they win, they get extra credit. This is, this is phenomenal.

I totally agree. You know what I would like any any any other teacher here in this Yeah, you use franchise to franchise to use hot takes to get yours We hot take on a fight club hot takes but we've it's got to be called. Do you want your real name or mr. H? Let's go. Let's go with my let's go with me. I love a good pseudonym. I love being Mr. H. All right. So, if anybody is a teacher, cause we get a lot of emails that people are teachers and they're, you know, with the students

and you wanna do a hot take Tuesday with your students, please call it Mr. H's hot take Tuesday. Please follow up with us about it. But I think you've started something here that I know if I were a kid. The best. This would be my favorite day. I would think about it. but I think you've started something here that I know if I were a kid. The best. This would be my favorite day. I would think about it.

I would do homework. Yes. Because I would try to have a really weird hot take that really made the people in the classroom laugh. And I would really, if the teacher said to me, you've convinced me, I would be like, CIRM smart. Yeah. I'm not as dumb as my test scores.

Exactly. And it would change it exact confidence exact same Huge win you've done great work because it's really like even just looking at the pack that you put together like your deck It's awesome. It's awesome. So before we go. Yeah do it. Mr. H. What's your hot take on this podcast? My hot take on this podcast is that if you are listening to it just for a comedy podcast, you are doing it wrong, this is truly an advice podcast. And if you are thinking about calling it

and you wanna get in there, listen to you guys, yes and it, don't no but it, don't, you know, and just open your mind. Don't go in with the solution you want and hoping you get the solution you want. Just in a funny or zanier way, which has been my initial idea. But call in, listen to you guys. You guys know what you're talking about. Open mind, open heart.

We're here to help Mondays and Thursdays. And let me ask one more thing just because we have a teacher who really knows his shit. Mr. H, our advice, what are you going to give us as far as our grade? That's right. Oh, you know what? Here's what you're getting. You're not just getting an A. You're getting a phone call home that says, Mrs. Reynolds, Mrs. Johnson, your kids have figured it out.

The call neither of our mothers ever got. Never. Never. Never. got. Ever, ever. Never. Mr. H, here's my hot take on you. We love you, man. Love you, buddy. This is the best. Great work.

Great work. Thank you for teaching these kids. You're inspiring a generation of hot takers. This couldn't be a more feel good ending and we appreciate you. Please call back with a follow-up. Yes. This would be nice to hear from you.

Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. You guys, thank you. The call back with a follow-up. Yes. Because it'd be nice to hear from you. Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. You guys, thank you. The impact on my classroom, huge. Couldn't have foresaw this without you. Thank you. Just as good as it gets. Thank you, Mr. H. Appreciate it, buddy.

All right. Have a good one, guys. You too, bud. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakeo and our video editor is John De Bruyne.

The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L.L.I. dot com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike. D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds dot com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash your to help pod.

And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.