We're Here to Help - 121: Started Italian Ended Transylvanian with Eric Edelstein

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Jake, Gareth and special guest Eric Edelstein talk to a caller who’s preparing to see in-laws with a hardcore meat diet. Later, the guys talk to a coach about cutting a goalie and someone upgrading their poker night (picture here).  Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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patreon when you screw up your own intro always a great start always a great stuff that's a good one all right I'm gonna tell you one quick thing that happened and it's the craziest thing I've seen I was actually I taught I think I was talking to you quickly on the phone Kevin when I first saw this what is it I was driving through Arizona this is like a week ago oh yeah this is gonna sound Jake this is gonna sound Bergen you're gonna be like this is Steve Berge yeah okay just please listen to me by the way I talked to king today. He's coming into town soon. Oh

Wow, great. Well never bad. The town is better when Steve's here great. Um, there's less work I'm just driving down the freeway and I this is gonna sound crazy. I see a plane Coming in for a landing. This is in Arizona coming in for a landing and It's not moving. What does that mean? It means it wasn't moving. And your reaction is right. What does that mean?

That's crazy. I'm telling you, I saw a frozen plane. Frozen plane, not moving. Kevin, your believing Gareth saw everything correctly, was totally sober, was not sleep deprived. Your thoughts on this setup? My theory was he was moving at like the same speed as the plane and it just seemed like neither were moving because he was like, holy shit.

But he was like, holy shit, dude, a plane is hovering above me. It's not even moving. This is, but this is the theory. Okay, but hold on. Hold on. That's interesting. This is the theory, right? I had a show that night. Okay, hold on. Hold on. That's interesting. This is the theory, right? Yeah, I had a show that night. I brought this up

But okay, so that's that's what a couple people were saying and that's what some of this stuff said online So I ended up having to go turn around and I and as I'm going down the free I see the plane moving again. This is after like 30 seconds of it not moving the plane starts moving again goes in for a landing All right. Eight minutes later, I'm coming back down around because I'm trying to find my hotel. And as I'm coming around, I see another plane not moving. Different plane. Now I understand you look and I'm just stop. Another plane not moving. Different direction. I'm listening to a story that I've not heard on the news. No, they don't want you to know! Well, I haven't heard it online.

It's out there. The theory is basically what Kevin said. It is the craziest thing I've ever seen and this is what I'm gonna say. It is not the way that I was driving. Because sure, maybe for a minute if you're like, oh, yeah that plane looks like it's but it's moved These ways theory That life is a hologram and there was a problem with it. Thank you guys so much for listening We appreciate all the people that we love you guys so much. Thank you guys Hi welcome to the show we're here to help can we get your name, please? Yes, my name is Taylor Taylor. Where are you from Taylor? I'm from Marietta, Georgia

So your name is Taylor you're from Georgia, and you are on with Jake Johnson Gareth Reynolds who one time last time we did this I called Gareth for no reason I don't know it's like how my dad would say it when I was a child is that right? Yeah, his accents all messed my dad would say it when I was a child. Is that right? Yeah, his accent's all messed up because it was England and America. Oh, maybe that's my thing. No, I don't think it was.

And then you've got a special guest from the movie Self-Reliance. Mr. Eric Edelstein, welcome to the show, Eric. Hi, I'm America's character actor and I'm here to help. So Taylor. Thank you. I'm Eric. So Taylor, what can we do for you today? What is the problem? Okay, so the problem is, I love my in-laws but we have a little bit of an issue. So my husband and I are about to spend a week with them and they're in

charge of the meals and everything and all they eat is red meat for every single meal No sides. No nothing. Am I having a nice really? No, nothing just red meat. They wolf for everything. Oh me Yeah Just be like, yeah, you meet it's intense. It's like what zookeepers do Okay, so red meat. You can open their refrigerator every single breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Breakfast?

And they'll even save the fat. Yeah, they'll save the fat from the night before and pour it over the meat the next day just to add a little more. Just, just, you're not using hyperbole. They literally for breakfast expect you to have red meat. Yes. Their whole refrigerator. With fat poured on it. For you is an entire house.

Okay. With fat poured on it. Okay, all right, I'll get over this. Let's keep going. Well the nice thing is however long this happens, you don't have to worry about them that much longer because they're not long for this world. With a ton of light and love.

Yeah, you know how they wanna be, yeah, taking care of what we want when we pass. We want you to eat us. Yeah. Okay, so keep going, Taylor. So it's meat every meal, you're going to be with them for a week. Yes, and we don't want to offend them, but they even freeze butter and put it in their coffee to add more fat.

What is that? Okay. So Taylor, we're with you. They have a different type of diet than you. We're going to move past that. Where are we at? Is the call, what do you do for food while you're there? Not exactly I need advice to be respectful, but not eat red meat for every single meal

Okay, cuz I'm gonna say this you might actually have a it seems like you got three beefy guys on this call But here's the truth Gareth is basically vegan Well vegetarian vegetarian, but you were vegan for a while. I tried it for a minute. It was very hard on the road. There was a while you used to party and then you only drank juices for a while

and got very skinny. Yes, thank God I've left that behind. Eric has cut out sugar. Meat. I'm basically vegan with fish, like salmon. And I don't fuck with octopus after watching my octopus teacher. And I'm a guy who used to have a cheeseburger and fries and a beer every day and now I don't fuck with octopus after watching my octopus teacher. Yeah. And I'm a guy who used to have a cheeseburger and fries

and a beer every day. And now I don't really do red meat, and I don't really do dairy. So here's what I'm going to say. All three of us have entered the world where you're that guy around other friends, and you have to say, I don't eat that. I eat this. So Taylor, is this kind of about looking for advice

to not offend mom and dad, but for fuck's sake, you're not eating butter and meat for breakfast because it's too much for you. Exactly. Butter, coffee, and steak for breakfast is like. It's too much. Like Joe Rogan would be like, pump the bread. It's too much.

Well, he's eating like lean elk, Joe. Yeah, yeah. He's not eating frozen butter. Can you pack up? Yeah. Um, and it's Georgia. Okay. That actually tracks a little bit. It is a wild problem. Let me ask you this. Well, what is in Alabama? What does your husband think? Oh, that's interesting. Does your husband think this is strange or is he like, why are you weirded out by that? I think he's with Taylor. No, he also thinks it's strange because we eat maybe bread me every two weeks. That's good I got a good have a party to fit. All right, go. I think this is a clean one

I think we all know what this is. Yeah, I think what it is is I think you're gonna eat more red meat than you usually eat. You are a visitor. So you do eat meat So when your father-in-law cooks the big steak do the dinner But I would bring groceries and I would say that you guys are on a certain thing where you have your own section of the fridge, so it's no disrespect, but this is the kick you're on. Okay. How do you feel about that? Because if you don't love that, I have a way to maybe use

that for a different pitch. Do you feel like you can do that with this coming up so soon? I feel like they're really excited about it. They've been doing it for a year. And this is the first time they're in control of all the meals. So they're going to want us to do it with them. So they really want you to eat their food. So I really, that's pretty much a lot that they talk about. So I think you might have to grin and bear this trip, but I think Jake's pitch is good,

but we need to think of that as for the next trip. Now I don't love Garf. This is a big trip. A week of meat? You're enjoying meat week. I mean, they're excited. It's going to be weird if you show up with celery and be like, what would you do Garf? You don't eat meat. Well, they would know that. So what I would do is I would get ready for ridicule, which I'm very used to. And I would just sit there while people are like, how's your corn? We're going to end up eating this guy. And I'm like, that's very funny. Let's talk about, I'd go to a man I'd be like, foot, he had a fell there. You know, people be like, all right, he's

all right. Even though he just eats like trees. What I would say is, and I hate to make it a fib, but sometimes a fib is good, I would say in between this trip and the next trip when you see them, one of you has gotten some advice from a doctor. I would say do it now. I love where you're going. I think you-

We don't have time. A whole week of fucking butter for breakfast, it's a lot. It's crazy. I think you can be okay being like, you know, I don't have butter in my coffee this morning Hey Taylor What do you think of you or your husband lying and saying that you had a blood work done and they said and this is to Say to mom and dad you guys do you? Yeah, but

You went to a dog. Do you guys have kids? No, no kid. Are you considering kids or no? Yes, considering. That's good too. So here's what I'm gonna say to grandma and grandpa. That's for future. Here's what I'm gonna say to grandma and grandpa. You're gonna say you went to a doctor

and they said for fertility reasons. Oh wow. Oh my God. The meat right now for your blood makeup, Taylor, there's something about it that is making it a little bit trickier. You go like, look, we're dying to make you guys grandparents and I'll tell you what grandpa's gonna say,

stay away from the goddamn butter, honey. Cause I want a grandbaby. I think that's great. I worry that this leaves your husband on an island, but I think we might be so close that this might be time to not worry about friendships. I think you might have to leave your husband who's probably used to eating like an owl.

He can eat some. Yeah, he can eat eating like an owl. He can eat some. Yeah, he can eat some, yeah. So he can eat some, but I think that that is great. That's a great direction to take it. But he can also, hey, Taylor, in terms of your husband, who's this a bigger issue for, you or him? Me, 100%. Okay, great.

And your arteries. Yes, so, but I think for him, Yes, exactly. you know, it's like when you have, when your wife gets pregnant and you have a baby, you both get fat, right? It's something that happens. Sure.

So in solidarity with you, he could say to his parents, I gotta eat this smoothie for breakfast because of Taylor. Yeah. But I would love to have, you know, pork chops at 7 AM. I'd love to have coffee with bacon in it. I'm not an idiot. I'm a normal guy like you, mom and dad. My wife wants to have a baby

that doesn't weigh 31 pounds at birth. And so, Taylor, what do you- She doesn't want to get a D-section. What do you kind of think early on- It's bigger. About a lie? I feel like I could do it. I just, and then they would feel sorry for me

and they would just have to keep growing. They would have, no, it wouldn't. I think you could do a small one. Okay. I think you have a couple options. You can either for this upcoming trip, sneak meals and just not eat as much as they want to give you.

And then for the next trip, really tee this up. Tee this up so that their fridge isn't full of extra chops or whatever the fuck they're called. But when's the next trip? Two years from now? No, a year minimum. How often you go down to Alabama, Taylor? We see them pretty often.

Okay, I would tee it up for them. But maybe we could go out to eat. We could plan a meal out. Great, that's great. I gotta go to you for a second could go out we could plan a meal out great. That's great All right, I got I got to go to you for a second Taylor and then remember where you're at. I don't I Already lost same same. I don't even know I get it. Who is she? I don't know where we are. Oh meat call go ahead Taylor we could go down a lot of directions, but we got to tap into you. Where are you at right now? What do you kind of feel it?

I feel like I could somehow just eat a little bit at every meal to please them Maybe I could bring stuff to make a side dish and actually excited about it Okay, and then they wouldn't want to offend me like I don't want to offend them. I don't know I feel like if I lie I'm gonna laugh Okay, so the lies that so if the lies out and it's just bringing stuff, but you don't want to lie to get to what you're eating, then you just got to bring other, Eric, what do you do when you go someplace and they want you to eat more if you're going back?

Well, what I love about, cause you know, you're describing the mad man that you met that ate everything, drink everything. Why now? Haven't had a drink in seven years. And that's after being on Drunk History and everybody trying to, it has allowed me to build boundaries that I love. And I think, yes, there's the lying,

but you're gonna be in a web of this and going back soon. I will also say my time in the South, Southern hospitality is a real thing. They're real friendly, they want you to be comfortable. And I think this is an invitation for her to kind of be honest here and say, I just need vegetables. My doctor said it. That's a white lie, but like to continue going down there, eating insane amounts of meat. Now, all that being said, the last time I had meat was when I went to visit my uncle Pino in Alba, Italy. And because we were

honored guests, every meal they kept bringing us steak tartare. And I know you do an Uncle Pino. How does this sound? Yeah, Uncle Pino, here's the steak tartare, here you go. Kind of Transylvanian. But I was sitting there eating raw meat with egg and swallowing like a pill, and my wife was doing the same.

And he has this amazing cook, and then eventually I see she's not eating it. I'm like, oh, what about you and the tartare and rye? She's like, Oh, I'm a vegetarian. Oh, so then that was kind of an invitation for me to say, I'm so honored that you're bringing me this raw meat, but I'm actually kind of hilariously vegetarian too. And it allowed me to build a great job for a cook when you're not actually cooking. No, it's just throw the raw meat.

Yeah. So Taylor, here's, here's where we're kind of at. We're kind of at like a nice, sincere version of you create boundaries with your in-laws from Alabama and you say like, I just want to eat a little bit less. That feels like a very easy solution and if you had it, I don't think you would have called us. Because if you're in a situation where you could just talk to these people, I don't see you emailing a podcast for help. I think right now you're afraid of the solution because the fucking solution is dangerous.

Because sometimes you gotta walk through fire to get to the zone you wanna be in. So if you're gonna say, I'm just eating more vegetables, well, why the fuck are you calling us? The reason you're calling us is you know they're not taking that, and you're gonna be drinking butter in ten days, and you don't want to drink butter in ten days, so I'm asking you to pull up your big girl pants

and tell a fucking lie about fertility, and you're telling me you're gonna laugh, and I'm telling you, you going to die from the fucking meat. Yeah. Am I out of line? You're in line. She's out of line. I don't mean that offensively, Taylor. Sorry. I got a little spicy. Taylor, do you want to drink fucking butter or do or do you want to have a you got a pick? Yeah.

I pick because she's saying she's going to laugh if she lies. No, but that lying is not intuitive as it is to us three. Well, hold on. Taylor, I like the blood work. You like the blood work. Yes. No, but that's lying is not intuitive as it is to us three You like the blood work Yeah, okay, I can do that. I can't do the fertility and okay There fair so then all you've got to do and here's what I would even do then if you're afraid of doing it face to face There's an easy move and that is an email and that is yes. I think tee it up. Yeah it up Hey guys, FYI so excited to come. I mean, if you want, we'll help you write the email right now. Yes, please help me.

It might also help if your husband does the email. Do you think he could do that? Yes, I agree. Okay. I think if your husband does- I think he could do that. Yes. So I think an email from your husband that, and we we can write it but I think the email is from your husband just giving your parents a heads up yeah that you've kind of turned a page I'm gonna start writing it okay I think that you've sort of turned a page and if he wants the sidecar that a little as you're kind of you want him to be eating a little bit how no no because then you're judging they're eating okay yeah right Taylor here's what I say you do from him. What's his name again? Or

what name can we call him? Butcher. His name is Jay. Jay. Jay goes like this, hey mom and dad, can't wait to see you. So excited. Just got some news, not dramatic, but Taylor got her blood work done and was recommended. They're gonna be hungry just got some news, not dramatic, but Taylor got her blood work done and was recommended by- They're gonna be hungry when they hear that, by the way. And was recommended- That's what we call dinner, blood work. Was recommended by her doctor to eat less meat,

more vegetables, and tofu yuck. Yes, great, great. But what we're thinking of doing, because we're excited about what you guys are doing, she's still going to have a few of the big dinners because she wouldn't miss it. Yes. But we're going to bring some stuff that's more just for her. But we wanted you to know, don't be offended. Yes. We're thrilled to be there, but we just have to do this right now. That's great.

She's a little disappointed, so let's not push the better options. No, you can tell that you wrote Self-Reliance. That just came out so easily. So Taylor, what do you think? I think that's great. And Kevin, we can even just send her that audio if she's interested in transcribing that. But now Taylor, where are you at with that?

Yes, that was perfect. I think that is perfect. Okay, and then you do the thing where you bring stuff up and while you're there Then you can do the talk of saying like, you know, I you know, I'm excited about this I'm a little bit healthier and you don't have to judge them that they're doing their life But you now have your own corner that they can judge when you're gone and go What you also what I do what I do a lot of times is diffuse it by putting you know by going like I'm

This is so annoying. I like you don't need to go that far, but be like, I know it's like, it is tough, but I'm trying to figure it out. You can have like a complicated relationship with it. Not to the point where you feel like you're lying, but you're just sort of- But you could also do Garf. You could do the like the, what's your father-in-law,

what are we calling him? Let's just call him daddy. You could say like, oh daddy, that steak looks so good. Yeah. Oh daddy. Are we at a Tennessee Williams novel? Yeah, daddy was crazy.

It just hurt the pig. Daddy, I don't want the raw meat today. Oh, daddy's deeply closeted. Can't give me my frozen butter. Well, no, Taylor. That buttered coffee smells like Angel's Crisps. Oh my God. No, no, Taylor, I wased coffee smells like Angel's prayer. Oh, my God. No, Taylor, I was just talking about Daddy and then Ma.

It's 1874. The war has been tough on this family. Close the windows and we'll dust the dinner. Yeah. Look outside. It's more meat. And so what do you think about that? Talking to Daddy and Ma after your husband sends them the letter. Do you think we're in a zone you're going to do Taylor? Yes. Yes. I think I can act like I'm really disappointed. I'm missing out a little bit.

I think that's complicated feelings with it. Yeah. So what we're going to do, because on this show, we don't like to just chase our own goddamn tail like they do, you know, back in the day, right? We're trying to get something done here. So Kevin's going to send you the email and could you send it after you send it to him? Could you have your husband take a photo of the scent so that we know what happened? We can follow up with you and we can get a little find out their reaction and yeah, their reaction could be really helpful. Maybe we'll bring you back on to see what you know, daddy and

ma had to say about this. I think we're good to drop the names probably by now. We'll just say you're in-laws. Yeah, in-laws, yeah. But just whatever Ma and Pop say. As people. People. Yeah. I was looking for people.

Yeah, as people. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. I was like, I know I'm close to it, but it's not Daddy and Ma. I feel further away. No, you do. But yeah, I think that's right. Now, you feel like this is good, you're good to go here, basically?

I think this is great. I will give them a shout out. They both have lost a bunch of weight during this diet. Oh, sure. Yeah. So last but not least. The cows lost a lot of weight, too. To take us out of this call a little bit. Do you want to hear from Bill Walton? We have him in studio. Yeah, Bill is just actually has a podcast here

He just walked in he was over hearing a little go look my second year with the trailblazers They did an intervention with me because I wasn't eating meat. This is real John wouldn't hated this but I dug down Sure, my legs broke constantly over and over again. But the truth is I didn't hurt any animals and neither will you, Taylor. You tell Peepaw and Meemaw you have boundaries now and use Jake Johnson's lies. She'll still eat some meat though, Bill, just to be clear. Oh, well fantastic.

We love this. Have a little bit of meat. I do now too and my legs don't break all the time. Yeah, great. So Taylor, I think this was a really special moment we also had we had the great Walton come in here. Yeah. Will you please follow up with us? Of course thank you guys so much for your help. Thank you for the call. We appreciate you Taylor. Yes. All right thank you. All right bye. That was awesome. Look at you.

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I am from Hamilton, Ontario. Ontario. And what can we do for you today, Joy. Where are you from, Joy? I am from Hamilton, Ontario. Ontario. Nice. And what can we do for you today, Joy? Yeah. So I am a head coach and a player on a women's ringette team just outside of Toronto. On a ringette team? Yeah.

OK. What's that, a donut thing? It's basically like hockey, but instead of having a blade on the end of your stick, it's it's basically like hockey but instead of a having a blade on the end of your stick It's just a stick and then it goes into a rain instead of using a puck So it's like if I did you met the ice? I Mean I don't want to call it back as I enjoy it and that sounds like a like an insult Okay, so it's a game. Okay, eventually I'll see a photo of it. I'll get it more. Yeah. Okay, so you're a head coach of Ring it and a player you're the people you're the Pete Rhodes of your team. Mm-hmm

Is your gambling coach and player? Yeah Thank you, it's the lowest level that like we play in the lowest level of competitive so we still go and travel and play against other teams in the region and last season we Really kind of tanked like we only won one game out of the 20 that we play throughout the season And it was pretty it was yeah It was pretty bad and it was also surprising because we do have a pretty good mix of players Some people are really good and they just play in the low level because they don't want the commitment of having to Do a bunch of practices. We don't practice we only play games

And some players of course are actually not as good But for the most part where I would say pretty competitive except for the fact that we have a not so great goalie Okay, so it feels like our goalie is kind of like letting us down and we, and we had a lot of disgruntled players. So as the coach, I felt like it was time for me to see if there were other goalies out there. Um, and so I reached out on Facebook to some people and I did get some interest. And now my problem that I'm hoping you can help me with is how do I tell my current goalie that, um, we are replacing her. What's your current goalie's first name? I'll call her Emma Emma, and who do you want to replace them with can we get a name?

There's actually two girls I'll go with Sarah and Michelle I have it. I have a pitch I did too. Is it the same I bet it's the same one I have you go first. Well, I think give them poison Melt the ice and then make it a swimming thing I think that this is what like NFL teams do with a kicker They will bring in a couple people to compete. Yeah, and you just go look it's competition I mean, this is what is it's probably gonna hurt the feelings a little bit But if you are like, yeah, this ain't some yeah if you're like, look we won one game last year

So we're gonna bring in a couple people summer. Yeah, if you're like, look, we won one game last year. Fucking ring it. So we're gonna bring in a couple people. And as the head coach, you're looking to win. So we're on the same page here, Joy, and I think what you gotta do is you bring all three of them out. Three at the same time. You do a full-on competition

where you do like 100 shots each. Top two are on the team. Bottom one's out of the top two. Who your starter? Yeah, do it again. Yep Make them compete. I agree. I think sharpens iron. I don't think this is one where we get weird We make up some weird story about a leprechaun fell out of the sky It's not a bad I think we go clean here Joy You take this goddamn team seriously and when somebody goes like I think the way you handled Emma was bullshit You go, I think winning one game was bullshit

Yeah if you if you if you'd like won a number of games I mean you want one game or if you were replacing because you're like, I don't like Emma No, the one game we won. It was when we actually had a different goalie Yeah, Joey as the head coach, you know what you're looking for? And I don't disagree with you one bit here. You're looking for two people to blame when the team gets mad, and we'll take the fall. Yeah, no question.

You can put it on, yeah. Blame it on us. Blame it on the show. But this is an open competition. You know if you're a bunch of hunters and one hunter doesn't catch any of the meat, you know what at a certain point you gotta do? Eat that hunter.

Nope. Eat what you kill. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah guess what we're out here in the woods I'm carrying this back I'm eating and you go like this I get the liver yeah walking around with me strange obviously I mean I think the thing is it's a goalie if this was like a player like just someone you know what I mean you can kind of sell them out a little bit goalie is so essential and I think the thing is it's a goalie. If this was like a player, like just someone, you know what I mean? You can kind of sub them out a little bit. A goalie is so essential and I think a goalie knows they're essential. And then you won one game

and it was the game where Emma didn't play. You know what you could do, Joy? You could do a competition, bring the whole team there and get everybody cheering, hopped up, get everybody excited. So it's as if it's a game where your defense plays defense, your offense plays offense.

So you feel how the goalie would feel. And you have some version of prizes. So even the person who loses gets a gift. It's a fun day. It's not you're out because we hate you. And it's the other two are alternatives. If anything ever happens, if they want to try to find a way on the roster as another spot,

there's a possibility. But this is a you make a statement to the team. We won one game last year. Next game, we're winning five. Who's in, who's out? I got OK. Right off of that. Yeah. What if you do get the whole team there? They watch the tryouts or whatever, however you wanna do it.

Don't turn it into a survivor, don't turn it into a vote. And, go ahead. Yeah, hold on, I'm just thinking of a different pitch. Here's why I say that. You're gonna start getting in with this group of people, a lot of hurt feelings, a lot of BS, a lot of politics. This ain't about we don't like Emma. This is about the numbers. You might be our best friend.

We might love you. We have to win games. It's true. I mean, I'm just thinking of a way to take the direct onus off of you because she's the head coach. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, that's what it is. Joy, are you going to do a competition? Yeah, I think I think we've like we, that's what it is. Joy, are you going to do a competition?

Yeah, I think, I think like we've talked about renting some ice over the summer. So I'm wondering if maybe we could just get like the whole team plus these new bullies out and we could just let's like, I can then be, um, make them make the final decision, but I can also get some feedback from the players too and say like, who did you guys think was best? And then we can. Yeah, but I also, I I think I think you make it in a world joy where you take away the Conversation of who did you think was the best? Here's the beauty of sports. There's an answer

So if one woman saves six out of ten One woman saves eight out of ten a woman serves one out of ten the fuck you talking about who moved the best well I mean, there's you know I think look I think pretty much Jake's right, but you could say I mean look you can say they open it up to the team You're open. You're listening. You're a good coach. You know what I mean, so maybe that's it Maybe you do a competition. Maybe you make it a little bit of fun Maybe you try to do something with the three competitors there you You make it a little bit of gamemanship for them. Maybe each one can make a speech beforehand.

Yeah. You thank them all. You send out the email where it's a... You turn it into like a version of a TV reality show, like Squid Game. You turn it into something where you're like, this is gonna be fun and crazy. The three goalies each get a specialty shirt. I competed in the first ever ring.

You know, what's it called again? Ring. Ring it. Competition, the death of two goalies. I also let's cap the day with some pizzas so that everybody has a minute to just kind of decompress and everybody finishes. You guys go out to your favorite restaurant. You drink a bunch of beer. The two ladies who did not make it are welcome. Yeah, what do you think joy?

Yeah, I think that's a great idea. Yeah, that's I mean it kind of fits in with like the idea We had any ways of getting some ice over the summer just to like keep in touch Yeah, it also will help solve the problem And I think in that email you make one bold statement and you say no matter what next season we need to win three games Okay, we got a head coach of a user. So well, guess what you got to start Look we want to go from one to ten what's a number that you feel fair joy and The reason I say this is it's gonna help with this competition because you're telling everybody nobody's a we leave it all out there this season We're getting one point getting three wins, but what's a number?

I would say I would say five okay Moving from like one like a ten percent up to like 25 feels like a pretty good Over the summer joy I have an idea there the summer. So I have an idea. There we go. Something happened. I have an idea of how to do this to make this feel even cleaner. You say the E the subject email is a summer get together next year. We need to be a five win team.

Every position is up for grabs, including mine. Oh. It is a practice battle royale. You then do a secret ballot. Survivor. Survivor. Welcome back. And here's why.

They could vote off the goddamn coach. And here's what's gonna happen, Joey. 95% of the- This is like Brexit. 95% of the positions are gonna stay the same and The goalie might switch, but you might have to play with fire here are options for you play with fire open everything up turn it into survivor Ask for a five game season or two

Just a goalie competition the players are invited take them out for pizza joy from Ontario head coach of the ring it team What are you gonna do? I? Think I'm gonna go with the competition Goalies only because I mean not that I think I would get voted out But that just I think could end up with people's feelings getting hurt Great and then can you follow up with us afterwards? Yeah, let us know and then are you follow up with us afterwards? Yep, let us know.

And then are you gonna put in there how many wins you guys want next year or are you gonna drop that? I'm gonna try to say I really wanna win five games next year, let's try to make it happen. Because I think part of this show, if you follow up with us, and we hope you do, is your record next year is important to us.

Yep, we want shirts. Yes, I will follow up for sure Thank you so much for your help. I'm a big fan of the show. I've been listening since day one Great taste and we appreciate good luck This episode is brought to you by rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

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He's throwing some. I just got the flannel. Kind of hard to see in the light. I'm so excited. Did you get yours yet? I have not gotten it yet. I got mine this week. I love the color. Uh, it's like dark green, uh, flannel perfect for the winter season. I will be rocking this. You know what we should do next record is the three of us should all wear our same flannels.

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Don't wait. Go now to get 20% off at shop doer.com slash. Hello. Hey, how you doing? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Well, tell us what you want to tell us. The floor is yours. You know how you doing? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Well, tell us what you want to tell us. The floor is yours.

You know how this show works. We're at nearly 100 episodes or at this point when we air it, we're past 100, so go ahead. Gotcha. Yeah. Well, I'm Beau from Portland, Oregon. I'm 37, I think. And yeah, every other month I host a poker game with a bunch of my buddies. 37 I think and Yeah, I Every other month I host a poker game with what's my do you ever call it boker?

Bo no, I don't Well, what did we have for a while that lady was gonna go like Okay, okay, okay, 37, poker, floor's yours. Yeah, so I hosted my unfinished basement that we affectionately call the dungeon because there's only a home light over the table. But I've got a pool of like 15 to 20 guys that I'll send a text out whenever we're going to do this. And I've noticed that a lot more are ghosting and and we're only getting You know six to eight

Regularly, and so I'm trying to think of some ideas that would create some more excitement And you know the people come we're novices. So we're not trying to you know, make it by the way Oh, sorry to interrupt. I just saw your poker room. It looks awesome I'm not kidding you I played when I was making the movie I was making a movie in Atlanta and one of the members name is it's a great movie. Well I can't I think it was Let's Be Cubs but I can't remember. Oh there's a couple of them. Let it ride. There was a couple of them in Atlanta but one of the guys on the crew talked to me about poker and we ended up

going to in a legal poker room behind a subway restaurant. And in the back it looked like this, but there was like a weird security guard with a gun in the corner and then like 15 boxes of Domino's pizza. Wow. It was a nearly perfect evening and you're getting those illegal gambling room vibes in here. Yeah, it definitely looks what like where people who are incarcerated Would I think it also looks like somebody's gonna get murdered there? Yeah, it looks like a setup I wouldn't say my only note is put some you know, put some tarps down like it looks like a murder Yeah, so so Bo the kind of question is is you used to have 15 it is faded down to six. How can we get excitement back?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, pretty much it. So you can see people coming. Let me ask you a real question. What's going on with that game? Because it's probably not the emails. I don't think people are like, I love the game.

Love the weird room. His email wasn't exciting. That's why I'm there. And what kind of games you play that poker night? It's just, it's just text. Uh, but it's, you know, we're just doing, uh, either a tournament like a freeze out and no limit. Hold, hold them. Uh, we have done some bomb pot, uh, Omaha stuff, but for the most part, a bunch of novices, um, and a lot of fish, you know?

And so we want to make sure they keep coming ultimately. And what, what's your buy-in? What's the, what's the of this you guys playing for nickels and dimes you playing for real money? We're doing like 40 to 50 bucks. We you know So nothing to do well But like you know you'll if you win you'll walk out with like 250 or so I think that's pretty fun for a bunch of people just starting and then you got to be honest with us because there's something Missing in this equation and something we found in this show is later things get revealed that will go like oh well that makes more sense if at one point you had 15 and now you got six what the hell's going on at that game

you got somebody at that table who's really annoying what's happening no we are my main rule is no asphalt except for me I guess and so we keep it but I mean most the pool group are all dads that's one of the issues Okay, that's that's hard And so what so I was in a weekly poker game with my dear friend Jeff Baino who hosts and it started at 9 p.m And it went till 5 in the morning. She's At the best I mean by 2 a.m A lot of people leave but then there's just a few degenerates like, should we put them all in and play flip a coin? Oh, man.

And it's fun. Oh, you don't play guts again. Yeah. Rock, paper, scissors. But what happened with kids is I can't do those nights. So what are the hours of this game, Bo? We're going about eight to midnight to one if you're, if you make it to the end of the tournament. Pretty good. Careth, what are you thinking here? I'm feeling like I don't have all the info, but I think he's given us all the info. Well, I don't know. Gareth, what are you thinking here? I'm feeling like I don't have all the info, but I think he's given us all the info. Well, I don't know.

I mean, I've been in poker games. I never played as much as you, but you would just kind of like interest would just wane or you would find another game or I don't know. Eventually I did have to say to a guy who kept sending me texts, hey, I don't need to be on this anymore. So I would say it's maybe less. I would say you can have a two pronged approach. One is stoking it for the people who were already on the text. And the other is maybe

you need to find some new people and maybe there's a way to make it a little more interesting. I know Jake likes what he sees when he sees the the place where it looks like you've been locked up for a weekend and he thinks that's a dicing. Yeah. But maybe you want to come up with a little bit. I agree. I might be the minority on that. So I would say you could do a couple things. One thing you could do is you could send out the like the kind of veiled threat of the like, hey guys, we're only getting six people. So I think I'm going to kill you. Tell your core six. Hey, I'm not killing the game. I'm just trying to get these guys come back.

I'm thinking of killing the game unless we start to get the numbers up. Another thing you could do is you could ask every person who's playing the game to bring someone with them. You also you could try to get like some kind of sponsor. So every week you're going to get like some free thing, like every week. Like Jake said, Domino's Pizza. I mean, did you hear how excited this grown man was about Domino's Pizza. I mean did you hear how excited this grown man was about Domino's Pizza? It's not, it's a low bar.

It's been over 10 years I'm still talking about that pizza. It's not going to take much to make the people be like man it's worth it because look they have Little Caesars or whatever the hell it is. That's a good question. Bo, are you providing food and drinks? I provide, usually I'll get pizzas and then bring you own beer. Bring your own, okay. What do you think about that? It's not bad.

There's a couple of people who are sober and there's a couple of people who only partake in 420, things like that. I gotcha. We do have this thing that we do that's come up. I was thinking maybe if there's more bits that would be good, but we made it where if someone messes up dealing, because everybody shares the dealing responsibilities, they do have, you know, we do have this thing that we do, that's come up, I was like, maybe there's more bits that would be good. But like we made it where if someone messes up dealing because everybody shares the feeling responsibilities, they

have to take a shot of rumplement. And that helps. So I got a question for you. Is this a group of friends? Or is this just a group of weird dads who your kids go to school together? I it's the core like the core like six or seven would be close friends and then the outside or our parents or people that we've, you know, trying, you're trying to fold into the, it's, I gotta say, if you, I think your, your group is a six or seven night and a six or seven shorthanded poker game is a great game.

And if you get extras, awesome. But it sounds like you've got a group. I would say maybe as a way to add extras, you could do every week is themed like you could have a Cathy Ireland theme. Right. And so wild first pull. What is our Cathy Ireland night? We're just doing what Cathy Ireland posters. What are we doing? Cover those white walls with posters of beautiful Cathy Ireland. Cathy Ireland is the first. What did nine year old you just jump into the mix of this I saw a Midwestern basement Ireland is no idea

Weirdo, but you do Gareth I do an idea. Thanks buddy. She's gorgeous gorgeous in every way. She's the greatest But something that something there's a theme each week. In the first couple weeks you do it, and Gareth is right that the walls are a little boring, that maybe you could throw stuff on the wall. So people go and part of what their experience is, it's like, well, it's a fun night and Bo does a little bit of work. You could do cowboy night where it's got a Western vibe. You make it really cheap and easy. Maybe we say that

Before the game starts or after the game Someone wins the night. So someone gets 20 bucks for best cowboy for most Obsessed with Kathy superlatives. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so a little bit of a play on that could maybe be a way to stoke it. I also think yeah, go ahead No, you go. I also think we could maybe make a little fake ad for him right here to send to his buddies and then his buddies could send this to a couple people and we could just be like, hey look, do you like poker? You like partying? You like pizza? You like prop bets? Bo's basement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really interesting. Now,, but here yeah, so here's my question that we could do that for sure and I think we do do that for sure

But both are you gonna do any of those things like? Because We're advertising for something and people coming. It's just seven guys and you're like I got two pizzas They're like this was the same thing, but then two guys did a podcast video. What's going on, man? Are you okay? It could amp up the sadness sure But are you looking to make changes to the game or do you just want a little hype fun? And we'll see if we could bust your numbers up a little bit

Hey, I'm open to either. I love the Video the advertisement to send out and that could be like as I introduce new people Hey, look, we're we're podcast famous Yeah, I like the idea of the theme nights too and I can even throw it out to my buddies like hey Like you're in charge of the theme and then I think that's fine You could also you got that TV just kind of lurk in there like a real weirdo What you could do is on that TV you could you could use that was a dig that was a dig we're here to help I'm helping but you could like let's say it is cowboy night you put on the good the bad and the ugly let's say

you want to have a Charlie Bronson evening Kathy Ireland night it's Kathy Ireland night and let's say you're obsessed with the theme of Kathy Ireland and you won't let it go you could throw necessary Bullies on the old screen right now Rob it is it I have a question fun. Yeah, something I heard recently from a friend who's a pretty active poker player like a faux pas He's been seeing is like people kind of conversation Killing the vibe a little bit of like talking to like telling a really long story in the middle of it How is the flow?

Is it like too much poker where people aren't seeming to have fun or is it too conversational? Is it- There's no such thing as too much poker at a poker night, Kevin. That's true. Yeah. Is it too much poker there?

It's pretty, it's pretty, it's pretty lax for the most part. Like we make the blinds like 30 minutes Because I know people are gonna talk more than You know what I might do actually bow I got a jump in here because this is something Jeff Bayne is game who hosted we had a lot of Conversations about how that you get hurt doing jujitsu garf. Yeah, just stretching the shoulder. Yeah. Well, some guy keeps calling me a bully That's just like so you're pretending to be injured.

So you're the what's your idea, bully boy? Go gaslight, gaslight, bully. Here's gaslighting while gaslighting. Here's my idea. You could send a group email out to everybody and get privately what they would want out of this game, because some people like poker nights where they're like, you know, we'll just all put in five bucks and we'll just play. I've been invited to games where people go like, dude,

it's just a lot of great people. And I'm like, yeah, and they go, you play. And I go, yeah, they go, dude, we'll do like a $10 buying and we'll talk for hours. And I'm like, I can shoot me into dick pass. I want to stay up till 5 a.m. Well, I'm doing this because I like the game of poker. So if it's on you and you're in the middle of a story, I'm not listening to a podcast.

We're playing poker. Finish your hand and you can talk if you're not in the hand. But some people like the opposite. So I feel like you need to figure out what your game is. You know what this you know your game needs, Bo? A goddamn identity. What are you hosting? Your basement is so vague.

There's no theme. Your game is a bunch of beginners, but you're playing, but you're talking, but you're doing 30 minute blinds in the buy ins 40 bucks and you can win 200. And some people come, some people don't. You got a couple of pizzas. God damn it, Bo. What are we running on? You call it the dungeon, then turn it into the fucking poker dungeon. Am I wrong, Gary? No, you're not wrong. But I mean, I'm not saying anything, though. Yeah. I kind of went nowhere. No, I don't think it's I don't think

it's a bad idea. I think it's still kind of under the same thing, though. It's kind of basically like, look, you want to make it more of an interesting event. I think I know that when I would go play poker, I would pretty much want to play poker that's not to say you can't have a smoke break or a weed break or a shop break or any of that shit but you want to kind of keep it focused you just are in a white room with a TV and a bunch of chairs and it looks like an insane asylum I think you could spice it up a little bit start to theme theme it at, you know, at like if at the end of every game someone throws in five bucks, the next week you can have a good thing of food there.

It's not just going to be pizzas. You can like change it up a little bit, make it a little bit more interesting. I also wish your third break was you said shop, but I thought you said shop and I was done. Everybody stops, gets on Amazon and buys three trickings that we really love. Yeah, get some shorts. I think that's cool. But keep them. What were you finishing? Well, so I basically think that is, that's the move.

You can make it a little more interesting and you tell your friends, hey, look, find a person, bring a person in. Let's just kind of get the numbers up a little bit because obviously you want more people there. Hey, Bo, can I ask you a question? What's your dream poker night? Walk us through it. And I'm not talking about what you have.

I'm talking about what you want. What does the room look like? What's the vibe? What's the game? What's the buy-in? What do you want, Bo? Yeah. I mean, I'd like the buy-in would be a little higher, but I'd like 10

Hold on. So hold on by a little higher. What would you like the buy-in to be? I think Fun buying with people who are committed would be you know, send about 100. Okay, so let's say $100 buying. Okay Let's just talk we're talking keep going. So you want you want ten people there $100 buying. That's what you were saying Yeah, okay, and and are you playing just hold them? Are you doing dealers choice? What are you doing? I? like we've been if I like the idea of the mainly does No limit, but then once around

It also needs where then it's a few of choice so they can make something around it alternates where they can make something wild card or change the game. You know it could be fun as a way to get this going and increase because what you need is you're going to have your core people but you need a few just gamblers. What if you did and this is this is not exactly what you said but this was the first thing that came to my mind. What if you sent an email that you're doing a one night tournament only hundred dollar buy-in first 10 people. You can't go more than 10 on a tournament because it's not a two table thing. Winner takes all after the tournament.

You can do, you know, wild games or whatever you want, but you are doing a tournament with set times. So the people coming in are actually coming in to win, because if you win that night, you get a thousand dollars. And then those people with you have on the on that TV screen, you've got the blinds clock. You do it like a casino. If you go to a casino, there's a screen that tells you all the stuff in a tournament.

And when the time goes off, it goes like beep. And that means blinds change. And people go fucking Bo just through a tournament in the dungeon that was fun as hell and maybe you could do two tables three tables at some point I and you got 60 people down there go ahead I like it and I think right some exclusivity to it but I also want to say to our listeners right now who have no idea what Jake is talking about what matters isn't the specificity of poker.

We're trying to solve a bow problem. Blinds are money and the, and that's, that's important, right? Jake is how you raise the money. So, but what I like is 10. It makes it exclusive. Ideally what you have is you're turning people away and it's first come first serve every time you send the text out. I kind of like something like that. What do you think of something like that,

Bo? Just to get a little bit of heat and get the people who want to play that want to play and get the dead weight out of there rather than beg them to come their dead weight, cut them off the body. Jake's mad at these people, but I think that's right. Bo? I like the exclusivity aspect of it, yeah. Okay. And so what about sending an email where you say we're doing a poker night, a tournament style, first 10 are in after that. If we can get to 20, I'll have two tables, but I can't guarantee that. Yeah. Especially when you have another big table, you got the room in that basement. It's very weirdly bare. Could you throw another table and some chairs down there? I'm going table in a and like a little cover that I can I've done two tables before

Yeah, and so then poker night as many if you get two tables, then the top two people win Yeah What do you think about that? So have we are you taking with the idea bow? I Like the I like the exclusivity. I like the winner-takes-all and then have a little more regimented I've got a blind timer already that I throw up there so that's good and I also like the theme night aspect and so I have a little for the stakes the winner gets to do they're all dads right yeah for the most part the winner gets to pick which other dad has to watch their kid for a night.

That's why you get to pick. So here's what we're going to do, Bo. I think we've helped you a little. I think we're a little bit all lost in the dungeon. So let's end this with we're going to do a little commercial for you that you could send to your friends to get them there. And tell us if you get any more numbers from it. And also, Bo, feel free to jump in, in the commercial. Now, Jake, do you want to go general about general? It's got to be general.

Okay. Let's not do the ten per, let's just say. Because I don't know if he's that excited about that. I agree. So he just wants the poker and he wants it to work He wants it to be fun and bow Are you committing to stepping up maybe thematically and you're gonna have something playing on that TV in the background? Oh, yeah What are you gonna put on that? What are you gonna put on that TV bow? Give us a couple ideas We've done around Christmas die hard since that's the best Christmas, right? We played soccer games football die hard since that's the best Christmas we've had. We've played soccer games, football games, depending on what's playing.

Ooh, would you ever spend the money and get a UFC fight? Yeah, I would. But here's the thing, Jake, we don't want it to be too exciting. I think about when I walk into those bars and I see like under siege playing, and I'm like, that's just the right amount of goofball to keep me in a conversation.

That's right. You're not about 90s commercials. Oh, don't hate that at all. Don't hate that at all. How about just YouTube, Kathy Ireland? I again, I have you talked to her recently? Is there some, has there been some sort of change? No link, brother.

No link. It's definitely, it's coming up a lot. I feel the same way. In a, no, no, in a troubling way. All right, but we're going gonna make a commercial for you right now Kevin will give it a little bit of the magic sauce the added after the fact But what we're gonna do is we're gonna say we want more people at your game Would do you have a specific night of the week that you're doing this?

Generally do it on a Saturday. Okay. What's all right Saturday at what time? Eight o'clock. Okay, great. All right. Saturday at what time? Eight o'clock. OK, great. All right. You ready, Jay? I think so. All right. Here we go. And away. Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, 8 p.m. at the dungeon. That's right. That's what we're calling bows downstairs.

Now, listen, we've heard the evaluations. People are saying it's a little weird. It's a little white. It looks like heaven's dungeon. OK, hold on. What a saying it's a little weird. It's a little white. It looks like Heaven's Dungeon Okay, hold on what a poker game was a little weird a little heat. Yeah The game's a little weird. It's a little white We gotta say the room my man. That's not my note, but I'll go in that direction. Okay fine Saturday said yeah, Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday 8 p.m. at the dungeon in Brooklyn, Oregon.

You like poker, you like Bo, we're inviting you to what some are calling Bo-ker Night, not everybody. We understand that Bo's basement is a little strange, the walls are a little white, it looks like where you go when you're in trouble. And that's gonna change, that's gonna change, that's gonna change at Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, 8 p.m. At poker night

That's right. We're talking about a variety of snacks. We're talking about themes. We're talking about potentially having Kathy Ireland Poker night 8 p.m. At the dungeon in Portland Oregon the boho's if you don't like her because you're young that's understandable And that's fine. None of these guys are young What we're looking for is... Clearly an older guy's poker night. Stop talking, guy over there. What we're looking for is, as people with friends, to bring a couple people to Bo's

poker night. We might be doing tournaments, we might just be goofing around, who knows what we're going to do, but we're going to have Steven Seagal movies playing in the background and we're excited for you to join the revamped, redone, reignited Bo Poker Night. What night of the week is that, Jake? Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, 8 PM at the dungeon. So reply to this text and join us for the new Poker Night.

Not everyone's calling it. I would say C plus. I think that's the other one. But it's fine. But it feels the equivalent of both poker night. I'm not going to accept that. What do you think? Is that going to advertise at all?

I think you will. I love it. I think all the guys would go. Let's see what we can do and then let us know how it goes. We want you to have a pack night. What's your dream number, Bo? You want 15 people, which is a weird now you need 10, right? I like to attend good because it's one table and then

If you get 11, you don't have a game But then what we're talking about is then we're talking about saying like hey man hit me up next week We're trying, you know, you can start making it feel a little more exclusive which exactly and the first 10 i'm in And if we get more than 10 We got to wait till we get 16 so we can have two tables of eight. Yes. Yeah, I like it.

Bo, good luck in that dungeon. Kevin, what do you got? Kevin, you opened your mouth. Just gonna say maybe like a wife swap instead of a kid swap. Okay, take it easy, my man. Thank you so much, Bo. Thanks, Bo, sorry about that.

Bye bye. Thanks. Sorry about Kevin. Oh my God. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKee. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakeo and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at Oliver Raleigh dot com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

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