We're Here to Help - 125: 3 Year Deal with Hog Dogs

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about joining too many softball teams, letting your parents know you were fired and figuring out what to do in a situationship. Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here. Oh, we are back. Back. Back. You know what, Gareth? Jake, Kevin are back. You know what, Gareth? Kevin, go.

I did this in one of the calls. Wow. You did. Yeah. Oh, are those from your movie? How good are these? How good are these fake teeth? You know, it's funny because I was wondering how they did that.

You know what I also have? Did you wear those for the whole thing? Yeah. We were going to do, we were going to paint it out. Yeah, that's what I thought it was at one point It was for self-reliance. We went through it all But these were the kind of best because then you still had to do in special effects into it But it changes the way you talk yeah, I have a VISA line does the same do you yeah? When'd you get a visit in the line? Tooth taken out. Oh, right. That was what that was show me the teeth I forgot that you got a tooth in there. So

Invisalign is just clear braces, right? Basically, it's like basically like a mouth guard like a top and bottom mouth guard But yeah, basically and is your bottom tooth did you get it drilled in or is it just part of the- No, they're just smushing together. Oh, the retainer is putting it together. My dentist showed me like four, she's nuts, in a good way. She showed me like four War Games versions of what my teeth could do, but she was like, but that won't work.

Then she was basically like, only thing we can do is take a tooth out. And then she showed me how that would work. she was basically like only thing we can do is take a tooth out and then she showed me how That would work. And so basically they're all there. They've come together Yeah, yeah, I don't see a guy. It's crazy. That's the whole thing. See People don't know English anymore and it's Hi Hi there. Welcome to We're Here to Help, America's number one podcast. Don't look it up.

Can we get your name, your age, where you're calling from? And Jake's putting on my cool sunglasses, so let's do this. Sure, yeah. My name's Evelyn. I'm 27. I'm calling from Los Angeles. Okay, LA. What part?

Currently outside my office, which is like mid-city. What do you do? I work in finance. I work in finance. I work in finance. I work in finance. I work in finance. I work in finance. I work in finance. l a a will part uh... currently outside my office like mid-city what do you do uh... i working finances

respect sounds like your heart a complicated that okay outside your outbreak you sound nervous about taking a break uh... but that's the energy we love here so uh... what's going on and i was a bit we hope you yeah so the uh... the heart of my problem is that I can't stop joining rec softball team You you continue to keep joining rec softball teams. How many leagues you can't way? Currently on three teams Jesus Wow, okay full-time how many days a week you playing softball Wow. Okay. That's a full time.

How many days a week you playing softball? Three days a week right now. There's also some practice. Oh, three games a week. How many days a week are you devoting to softball in general? Three to four. Okay. Four days a week.

And how did this begin? Yeah. So I played like, growing up, moved out to LA. I was like, this will be a fun way to meet people. And I played coed and so the thing is like because I'm a woman, most of the women who play like are just there for fun and aren't very good. Yeah. But because I'm a woman who is like pretty good, I keep getting asked to join your team.

You're a hot commodity. I used to play in a coed league. You are a hot commodity. You're a get. Yeah. Yeah. So that's sort of how it started. I was playing one day a week. It was fun.

I got asked to join another team and then it was fun. So I was like, okay. Then I got asked to join another team. I keep getting asked to like join teams. So this is a different problem. Overtaking my life. So this is, I thought the problem was, was you keep joining teams and like you're finding them and joining them.

And that call is going to say, stop your maniac. This is, that's what I thought. But this is you are being asked and you got to learn how to say no enough is enough. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. So right now you're currently on three teams. You play three games a week. Ideally each team would like to practice.

So you're talking about every day of the week besides one, you're in some version of softball. Well, you're saying four days a week. So only one of the teams practices, right? Yeah, that's right. Okay. What are the three names of these teams you're on? RC Hitters, which stands for really cool hitters.

Great name. The Hot Dogs. Terrible name. RC Hitters is still a good cool hitters great name The hot dogs Terrible man RC. Here's is still a good. Okay third one and House of the Dragon sluggers which is sponsored by HBO Okay, no shame there. What is your spares that team name of RC hitters hot dogs and house of dragons who's the best team? record-wise Probably hot dog hot dogs and house of dragons who's the best team record wise Probably hot dogs hot dogs a shame

If you were to drop one team, which one would you drop? Which team do you not even like the players that much? It's not that much fun and it's a dog shit team There's always one probably house the dragon the one upside is HBO with the HBO sponsorship They keep giving me free gifts from HBO. Yeah, but what are the gifts? Like mugs and shirts? Yeah. Yesterday, because I got MVP for the week or whatever,

they gave me a version of House the Dragon Monopoly. Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. Well, Jake and I are jaded on swag bags to some extent. When you're 27 and you're getting that stuff, it's way different than when you're in your mid-30s or I'm in your mid 30s and 40s talking about cutting the team you staying on for a monopoly set I get it that things gonna collect dust in your closet, and then you're gonna move and go I'm not what's the best thing you've gotten from the HBO team a sweatshirt that says House of Dragons a Bean that says House of Dragons socks House of Dragons all right so so to Jake's point eventually You're just gonna have all the House of Dragons. I'm a fan of you of House of Dragons, socks that say House of Dragons. All right. So to Jake's point, eventually you're just going to have all the House of Dragons swag.

How big of a fan of you of House of Dragons TV show? Are you a big fan? I'm a fan for sure. Not like I haven't read the books or anything. I haven't watched the show or anything. I've played the Monopoly. Yeah. I'm a big Monopoly fan. So I've got a question about the three teams. Because I'm personally, I don't care about the swag for you. I mean you're

working in mid-city you're crushing it you can buy a monopoly set for nine dollars if you wanted it. Bree's nice though you know this. I agree now I'm torn. Is there anybody on any of these teams that you... So easy to tear them. Anybody now are you doing this for friends you doing this for love interests? Oh? Definitely for friends. I'm engaged my fiance plays on one of the team okay. What team is that? He's on our C hitters okay, so our C hitters is a stay okay? So this is a thing between you and your hub our C hitters is a win So we have narrowed it down to hot dogs and house of dragons correct. Yeah, I think that's right I do also keep getting asked to join other there's no more No, you can't take on any other teams at least not without dropping other teams

Yeah, but also in terms of how is your fiancee in terms of a player? Yeah dog shit. We don't know that Yeah, I mean he didn't play baseball at all growing up. He's he's here for the fun. Okay. All right, okay Can I get a little credit for that? Yeah, you called it good stuff. I agree. I think I think we have to just... Yeah, so sometimes Evelyn, we come harsh with our advice because we're not pitching a bunch of ideas. So sometimes people call and they go, what's the problem? There's a clear solution.

Right? So this clear solution is, first of all, if anybody asks, we can give you a line of how you pass on it. I know how we pass. How? You just got injured. It's too much stress on your body. So if somebody asks you to play, you just say... I don't know if that would work. How come?

Just because what I found out is the West LA softball league, like, it runs pretty deep. Like, I see a lot of the same people each of these days. I gotcha. Okay. Well, you have an ace band to, John. Okay. I've got another of the same people. I gotcha. Okay. We have an ace bandage on. Okay. I've got another thing you could say. You could say that one of the teams you're on just signed you to a three year contract. I like that.

And part of the cut. You could say like the hot dogs just signed me to a three year deal. Which they have exclusivity with the hot dog and the hot dogs have said in the contract. Look, and then you could go like, I know it's insane, but I'm getting a lot of free Stuff from them. I get a lot of merch, but I can't join other teams at this time It's insane, but this is a league. It's a sports league. I don't hate it, but I first think what we've got to do Number one thing is we got to shave some fat off of this Evelyn and I think it's house of dragons I think hot dogs is your best team you like to win You're a winner every year you play sports not for the fun of it. You play sports to win. Am I right or wrong?

You're right. You play to win the game. That's right So RC hitters you had the really cool hitters You got to stay on because you're dragging that fiance with you to victory, but you're marrying them So you're getting you're buying that 200 hitter. Yeah, you're buying an air and a half a game Yeah, but he's yours. You're stuck with it. You're buying a guy who doesn't know to tag up All right, you're buying a guy who doesn't advance the runner hit it to the right side. He can't But he want I mean he has as much skill as he has he's not trying to suck He didn't grow up playing no he didn't so we got in my eyes

We have RC hitters and we got hot dogs. Are you with us on this or no Evelyn? I? Think that's right. Oh Despite the free swag the vibes on House the dragon nerd no bueno a little whack Now could you Evelyn and you know this better than us? Could you quit the team effective immediately or do you have to finish the season? No, you could quit Good question probably. Okay The only I probably wouldn't be to finish the season

It's not that much longer and the guy who recruited me to house the dragon is the umpire on my month on the RC hitters Please shit He not getting any calls. It's just really yeah, okay It is very mob like so it is. I don't see them off too much, but you so you're gonna finish the season Yeah, I think Kevin's listening his mind over this. I were Evelyn. We're asking where I'm trying to get we're trying to get to the bottom Yeah, I think so Quitting it's gonna be hard because you got the same umpire. Yes, right? Yeah. Yeah, the captain is the umpire Okay, and when does this season end? Uh

Like a month from now. Okay, so no follow-up emails. No nothing a month from now you send an email Hey guys, thanks so much for the great year. I'm not gonna play again next year I'm swamp you don't you don't even need to send that email right now. I think you're right. Just finish it out and you've learned your lesson. You can't take on so many goddamn teams. Yeah, and now you've got two. You've got the hot dogs and you've got the RC hitters.

The hot dogs is for your trophies, for your wins. The RC hitters is to keep your marriage happy, right? Okay, I'm on board with that. And then if in future you wanna make a switch, you have to drop one. You're in two cap. Exactly. But you are you are in a situation in your life. You can only have two teams.

Now we're going to go through a little exercise here. Okay. Gareth is a manager of a new team. What's the name of your softball team, Gareth? We will be called the big dogs and the dogs is spelled with a W. So the big dogs is now is the Roku sponsors you guys. Yeah, absolutely. We're Roku. What shows hot on Roku right now?

Roku right now we've got a card shark. Card shark. Okay. So now Evelyn, you just had a game where you went, let's say two for four, a double, two solid gappers and you play really solid defense. And after the game, you're approached by Gareth. No, no, no. Roy.

Roy. You're approached by Roy. So Evelyn, please take- Rat tail. Please, of course. You didn't have to say it. Front and back. Front and back, rat tails. Rattail. Please. Of course. You didn't have front and back front and back rat tails and short shorts, short shorts. Yeah.

So take this seriously. Cause I want to see how you would handle passing. Does that make sense? Thank you. Uh, sounds of the field. real Gareth over there Let's step away from the field it's annoying out there. Hey Wow, man, I gotta tell you I don't know if you know about the big dogs, but we are doing big dog stuff How you been look great out there?

Thanks. Yeah, yeah. I appreciate it. I have heard about the big dogs. Well, of course you have. Reputations are big in this league, as you know. Everyone knows everybody. It's like a mini Hollywood. Listen, big dogs have a slot for a shortstop, which I think you'd be unbelievable for.

I don't know if you heard, we're doing a lot of Roku stuff. So there's a lot of swag. MVPs get card checks, which we're pretty excited about. Um, but we'd love to have you come play with us. Um, look, we are doing a practice on Tuesday and games get a little intense, but I think you'll be able to step up to the pressure. Don't bring your husband, by the way, talk about a dead weight. He's not going to get it.

Maybe we could ask her what she thinks. Yeah Later George hey, I'm a Roy's brother Evelyn hey, you wanna join a team or not? What do you think here? I was about to get to it I don't believe that we button in I don't make field noises Cuz that wasn't me Hey, man, sorry about my short shorts, my big old hog. What the hell? But hey, all serious, Evelyn, you want to play or not? You're a fucking hell of a player. We're a good team. We're a great team. What do you think here? Great team. Could be greater with you. Oh, guys, I really appreciate the offer. That's so nice of you to invite me. However, just like pretty swamped in general I don't really have have the time to join another team right now. You don't even need to practice you just show for the Yeah, you're one of those players. We don't even know

You don't even need to be MVP to get card choice Yeah, but you could also if you want just come on Tuesday You want to show up for the first game see how it feels Tuesday. That'd be great. I Can't Tuesday and yeah, I mean last year we went seven and three So do you want to show up for Tuesday? We get your email? It's funny because it's accurate of how this goes down. Yes, of course you're a get we're out of character Guys I really appreciate it. I really do but I just I can't do to say I want to try again Evelyn and you know I want to do English. I want to try again Evelyn and you know what I want to do

English I want you to Agreed I want I Want you to be meaner and I want you to be not you don't have to be nice These are guys offering you something you don't want You don't have to be charming. You don't have to be nice. The answer is no, you're not interested Let's just see how that feels for you, okay? Okay, okay. So the game just ended, you went three for four,

you hit a single and two doubles, you played great. What position do you play, by the way? Third base. Third, fucking power third. And where do you hit in the lineup? You had number two hitter, or four hitter, where you at? Second. Of course you are, I fucking called that,

that's fucking sweet. All right, here we go. We could really use you. Jake, what? We don't even. I right, we can really use you Jake. What? We don't even fucking say she hits number two in the lineup team Hey, Evelyn, do you want to be on the we're here to help team Jake? I'll get you out of swag Jake. She's our third baseman. It's number two. I don't have anyone We starting with her. We build around. No, we're not we're solving the problem. Here we go. We're at the field. All right We starting with her. We build around her. We're solving the problem.

Here we go. We're at the field. Alright. I don't think I did hear the beginning. Alright, Evelyn. Good to see you. Fucking lovely game, man. You really smash that thing, haven't you? You took the skin right off it. Look, we're doing a bit of a league of our own.

Doing our own team. Liam! Yeah, he's fucking Joel. Yeah, go on Joel. What's happening? Oh, she's the one! That's the bird you're talking about? Don't call her a bird, but it's not great. Sorry. It didn't mean nothing by it. Yeah, he's my mate, he's going to fucking international. Use the third baseman, yeah, hon? Yeah, Evelyn, look, look. Joel, shut up for a minute, obviously. You've got some legs on you too, Joel, I'm crazy. I'm not good. Sorry.

I haven't. Sorry about him. We was going to see if maybe you stop. Stop it. I was going to see if maybe you'd like to join up with us. We've got the team going. We're doing well. We're called the soft boiled hitters. Yeah. We're fucking pretty good. Yeah. We're pretty good. We've got good stuff, but we loved every joy machine male Thanks for nothing Yeah, pretty good, I think you could also pretty good you could also go with the like guys I wish I could I'm just such A commodity you could do I think great. Yeah, great. I Know I wish you guys just aren't that good. Oh, I don't know I can't when you said thanks, but no, thanks. I lit up you lit up a thanks, but no

Thanks, if I'm honestly Evelyn, I'm gonna try this again, right and now we're gonna do this very real Okay, all jokes aside we are forming a we're here to help softball team Yeah, it isn't a bad idea. And we're through Head Gum Studios, whatever. It's a bunch of different podcasts, but it is co-ed. Right now we have one of our producers, Anya. She plays, but I'm gonna be honest, she's not very good. We'll cut this part out, probably. But in truth, Evan, when you said you were a third baseman,

and we could not put this in the show if you don't want, but we need to have three girls on our team would you would would it's a very crazy call I don't know if Kevin set this up we have not started playing but I am pretty competitive Gareth is pretty content and so is Kevin we would like to win we're playing a bunch of other goofy podcasts I don't want to be fourth place in this league we do not need you to practice but we would love you on the team if you're down to play But I can't I'm just playing on you know, too. I can't do any more softball Yeah, but Emma, but if you're losing one of those teams also the other house of dragons

And we want your you want your fiance on come with us and fuck the RC hitters like we're gonna be genuinely good And we could actually win this league and we I mean you talking about swag the fuck you want I'll get you swag from anything you like what shows you like on TV like movies I'll get you a dinosaur from dress as good as the pitch gets we understand that we were like don't take on anymore But this but this is now right so Evelyn if because we need a number two hitter and we need a third baseman So you want to join us I? Just can't do it guys. Thank you. I appreciate it, but I can't yes you can Evelyn So I don't we need you one day a week. It's a it's a nine game. See where do you what?

She works in mid-city. Yeah, so you're not far I'm getting kids We are genuinely asking if you would want to play on the podcast team we have formed over here at HeadGum. So do you want to do it? It's a weird situation where we had the call. I'm confused. Is this real?

This is real. This is real. This is real. Wait, so when do you guys play? Tuesday nights. Like what time? mean game is a six o'clock game and there's an 830 game and it just it's kind of random Yeah No

You called in for a specific reason young lady! You are addicted to saying yes to softball games! Well I could drop two if I could. I don't care how good the fucking offer is! You got enough softball games! Thanks but no! Evelyn! but no we did that to you cuz I've had a few and you would break I don't the guy is gonna say he's an umpire they're gonna keep pushing you those terrible

southern guys in English accents those were easy to say no to oh Evan you play enough you're looking to cut down. This is as hard as the test is going to get and you held very strong for a long time. She said no, then she's like, I don't know. I'm sure. Yeah, I guess so. But the point is of that exercise is no matter what the offer for now, we're saying no.

Okay, no, that's that's right. It was a hard lesson. But that is as hard as it's going to get. So just stay strong. Thanks, but no thanks. But what is the premise of this call? She wants to, she's overwhelmed herself with softball. She's playing too much softball. Yes.

So thanks, but pass. Yes. Thanks, but no thanks. That's good advice. I appreciate the insights, guys. Bye, Evelyn. Bye, Evelyn. Yes, thanks, but no thanks. That's good advice. I appreciate the insights, guys. Bye, Evelyn. Bye, Evelyn. Have fun playing softball.

I'll try to put them into practice. Say it again? I said I'll try to put them into practice. Yeah. Good luck. Not a lot of faith here. Good luck, guys. Thank you, bye.

See you, bye. Thank you, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Babbel. If you listen to our show, you know we love Babbel. Babbel is the language learning app that gets you talking. With quick 10-minute lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts. Babbel gets you talking a new language in three weeks,

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Yeah, sure thing. My name is Andrew I am 23 years old and I am from Sweet Home, Alabama right outside Montgomery. Oh, I love it, man. Just actually talk to somebody from Alabama. So Andrew, what's the call about my man? Yeah, yeah. So I'm in a little bit of a pickle, you know. I got well, how to put this lightly, I got fired from my job. Sorry to hear that.

No, it's okay. I wish it was I wish it was for a cooler reason than what it was. Just wasn't very good at the job. Sorry to hear that. No, it's okay. I wish it was I wish it was for a cooler reason than what it was. Just wasn't very good at the job. By the way, Andrew, I'm gonna be real with you, man. You're describing my early 20s. I got fired from a lot of jobs. And the reason was you're bad at this. And my response was, I wish you were wrong. But I am bad. And I'm not getting better. Yes. I really had like no argument to fight against the reasoning.

So, but anyways, you know, so it's still kind of fresh about two to three days after. And I ran into my, um, my mom, my mom was in town. I live in the same town as my sister. So she was visiting my sister and her kids. So I went over there to see my mom and she was just like How's work going and you know, it was still fresh, you know two to three days after so I wasn't really ready to tell her yet So I just lied and said, you know, it's going good Okay

I'm with Andrew at this point just mom care not surprised. Yeah surprised how is it good everything's great okay yeah and Six weeks have gone by now, and they still think I have no job Yeah, so yeah, so I guess how do we how do we bring them that how do we? How do we break the news to them easy? You know almost two months later? You know being unemployed. Yeah. So, Andrew, we're going to ask some personal questions to kind of get backstory. You are, you are allowed to pass. We're just doing a goofy ass podcast.

Okay. No, I love it. I love it. Big fans, by the way. Thank you, bud. So what was your job? If you don't want to name the actual place, just tell us kind of what you did.

Yeah, sure thing. So I got this job right after I graduated from college and it was actually a job with the college as a recruiter. Okay, understood. Okay. I would go to different high schools and recruit for my alma mater. Okay, good job. And The money was pretty good?

No. Interesting. Did your mother like that you had that job? Did she feel invested in any way in the fact that you had that job? I think she's just very invested in my life in general. Okay. So you got a good mom. Good mother, yeah.

Yeah. So it was like, you know, straight out of college, first full-time adult job. She was excited for me and I did it for almost a year before I got canned. And why did they can you? So I've been canned before and there's always a reason besides your dog shit at your job. Yeah. What was the reason they gave so like I said earlier totally legitimate there was a there was like Multiple events on a day that I had to be at so I recruited so like I said I'm from Alabama the schools in Alabama, but Florida was like my recruiting territory Okay, so there were multiple events on a specific day that I had to be at in Florida and I just events on a specific day that I had to be at in Florida.

And I just honestly slept in and did not give myself enough time to get to Florida and the events on time. So they were like, yeah, man, we got to let you go. Okay. When you, when you say slept in, were you drinking and slept in, or you just slept in slept in? No, dude, I was just an absolute idiot. I don't know. I genuinely don't know what happened. I'll tell you what happened, Andrew. I was just an absolute idiot. I don't know. I genuinely don't know what

happened. I'll tell you what happened. Andrew, you're 23 years old. You're growing. Yeah. Yeah. Your time is growing. So you were going to how often were you going to Florida? Oh, who cares? You know, really? Well, how's that backstory? I'll let you know how often you go to Florida. Period a a lot honestly so probably like three or four times a week. Your honor where are you going with this? Well I'm just curious if you're lying to your mother about how often are these lies building upon lies? Are you making up trips to Florida? Are you... Objection! On'm what grounds what is this about he never said he lied to his mom about Florida but is the lie growing we're

deep in the two-month lie now have oh I hear what you're saying I hear what you said have you pretended to go to Florida yeah because it feels like if you're lying about still having the job you have to lie about additional baby lies. Have you done more lies, Andrew? Yes. Interesting. But not about traveling. So, you know, the Florida thing was a what we like to call in this business a garroth, where it was a really weird tangent, but it actually was right.

Thank you. So the Florida thing, the Florida thing was goofy. But the truth is, we now know you have been lying more. The prosecution rests. But I'll still be talking. What else have you lied about, Andrew? Oh, you know, it's just, it's just been a little small things, you know, like she'll

give me a call and she can tell like I'm not at the office. I'll be at like my apartment or something. And she'll be like, why aren't you at work? And I'm like, oh, I'm on lunch or. Have you ever made any sort of noises to make it sound like you're at the office or working? I have intentionally gotten into the car to be like, oh yeah, I'm leaving my apartment. I was on my break. I'm headed back to the office now. Yeah, this is, this is where.

Okay. I've got a question for you. What's your money situation, Andrew? I'm Nick Miller broke. OK, I understand. So how are you asking? You mean your security guard season seven, a.k.a. Brian broke? Yeah, we all know Brian. That's the shorthand.

Exactly. Thank you. Thank you, Andrew, for acknowledging what Jake said. So Andrew, are you able to pay your bills? Are you in a weird way needing to ask mom and dad for help? Um, it has not gotten to the needing to ask for help point yet. I'm like currently in the interview process with another job. In terms of other gigs, why has it taken you six weeks where you're at?

Because it is a very big company. They have like multiple facilities all across the country. It's completely different from the job I was doing before. And they just like have a super intense HR process. Oh, so you're lining up a real job next. You're not doing like a transitionary in-between job. Yeah, no, I want to make this clear. I have learned my lesson. Oh, then I absolutely have advice for you. I do too, go ahead, Jake. Don't say anything, Andrews.

Loose lips sink ships. Keep going forward, get to the new job, Andrew. When you are established, say to your parents, hey, mom and dad, good news. I upgraded. They go, what? And you go, I got a new job. And you go, why? And they go, because I learned as a young business person, there was no big upside in recruiting. And I wasn't taking that job seriously enough. Would you believe it? Mom and dad, I slept through a Florida trip. But what I now am doing at my new job is taking it more seriously. And there is more upside

and they're going to go, Andrew, you are growing up and you are really becoming an adult. And you go, I agree. Thank you so much. I love you guys. This is a huge win. Gareth. I'm pretty close to that. I want to, I'm going give mine, and you tell me if I'm highlighting a difference or maybe I misunderstood part of it. Everything he said is right. I think that's right. I think you get the new job. I will say, in future, I think just be honest because you probably now feel this added stress

to your life that your parents would be supportive of. Your mother would probably be supportive, and you don't have to be closing car doors, talking about traffic when in reality you're just going upstairs to play Wii. So I think learn that lesson. And then yes, you land this next job. How far away do you think you are from having an answer on this next job?

So my last interview was a week ago. So I'm hoping to hear by the end of this week or beginning of next. So hopefully it will all be. So, so you're right there. So I think Jake's right. Let's, let's play this one out. If you don't land this job, I think it's probably time to come clean.

If you do land this job, I think take it. And I would still let, let your mother know there was a time in between when you didn't have the job. Was that in your advice, Jay? Yeah, but this is later. But this is, yeah. So listen, Andrew, if you don't get this new job coming up, then you got to boogie and get another job. Okay. I don't care what it is.

You can move boxes, you know, be put a thing on Craigslist that you're doing deliveries. You just got to start making some money so that you are not out of work. I'm a big believer that, you know, work makes work. So you just got to kind of get started in terms of being honest. I think sometimes the truth with these people like this with your mom is an important thing. Other times being a total honesty doesn't work. I was a one job I got fired of when I first moved to LA is I was a caterer and I was catering a bar mitzvah and there was two DJs and they were such clowns.

And I was, I started laughing and I, as I was serving the food, I was laughing because it was very funny. And some of the other, like the parents were laughing and some of the kids were laughing. And my boss came up to me and asked, why are you laughing? Are you laughing at those DJs? And the truth was, was yes. But the answer I could have said was no, the guests are just being so funny and charming and it's really fun.

And then he would have laughed like he was catching up to it. But I would try to be honest. And I said, yeah, I'm laughing at him. They're ridiculous. And he said, in the moment, give me your bow tie. And I was fired on the spot. It's a hundred percent true story. You got kids for laughing at the DJs?

I was laughing hard and I was not serving food while I was laughing. When I, look, and I I had a drink or two. And I punched one of the teachers. No, I had had a couple of drinks. It was on it. We were partying. It was fun. Anyhow, here's my advice to you, Andrew, get the new job, line it up. When you tell your mom and she's happy for you, the next big hang, then say in funny story, I had been fired. This is long after you've won. I'm saying just don't leave it as a, a lie. Yes, forever. I agree with that. At some point, make amends with it. But, but I think Jake's right. If you get this new job, I mean, obviously, as you know, you know, things are fine. Things are better. If you don't, what do you think he does, Jake? Then I think you get another job. What does he tell his mother? Works been hard. I think you keep going to the car and you go car is still he's still he's still making paper shuffling noises. Yes. Until you line up your next gig. I see that's where we split.

I think you should say at that point, Hey, I lost my job. I'm looking for something else. You have some time. I do think Jake's right. I mean, if you're running low on money, I mean, as people who work in the entertainment industry, the amount of times when you were pursuing the career you wanted while having the career you detested, you know, I mean, that's just kind of the way it works sometimes. So to get a little money in your pocket.

So Andrew, I got a question for you. If you were to tell your mom, let's say you don't get the job in a week, will you walk us through a little role play situation where you're talking to your mom and can you try to play both parts and can you try to make it as real as possible? Don't worry about being funny. We're just trying to get a sense of your mom. Okay, mom. Okay. Mom, I gotta tell you something. I'm not proud of it. Made a mistake, but made a mistake with my work. And it led to ultimately my supervisor having to make the decision to

force me to resign. And then the tears would come. And she wouldn't be able to talk for like probably 10 minutes. He would cry. Yeah, she would cry for sure. And then what would she say? And then she would. Did you give us a little flavor of hers?

Cause I'm trying, now that you said she's crying, I have a little bit better of a sense of her. Can you kind of do your impression of her as you answer after the tears? Okay. Thanks. I think that's the terrifying part. I don't know.

Okay. Well, look, here we go. Here we go. I think we're on the right path. I understand you can't embody her. The good thing is you got two guys who are on the show, new girl here. I will be your mother in this call. So make the call to me. I'll be your

mother and we can play out what she would be like a little bit. And I think that's going to be very informative. Jake, I can tell by your face you're signing off on this. So Andrew, I'm your mother. What's your mother's name? Stacey. Well, if we're going to do this, Andrew, what's your dad's name? Ted. Ted, give me a little backstory on Ted. What does he do for a living? Ted is in economic development. And what does Ted think of you? I think he loves me. Yeah. Okay. But Andrew, does he like you? Because there's a big difference between loving your kid and liking your kid. Of course he loves you. You're a lovable young man. But does he like your little ass? Sometimes. He's okay. And he's not going to like you when you tell this news, is he?

No, no, no, no. Okay. And so does, does your mom adore you? Uh, yes. Does she think you're just pretty great, but maybe a little underachieving? So yeah, I would say so. The conversation would probably go with the tears and she wouldn't be able to have the conversation for another 24 hours probably. So she would ship me over to Ted to talk about it.

So here we are. And I will say we both want to ask what economic development is, but we're not going to bother. So give the call. I'll give the call and let's just start the conversation. So this is 24 hours after the initial call. Cause you cried. You couldn't do it. Well, he just said, if you listen, I know you want to hear state, I think from an acting standpoint, you just want to show your crying, but that's not, well, can we do a slice of it? Let's just do a quick moment of the first call. Andrew

give a call to Stacy super quick. Yeah, okay. Gareth just wants to show his range. Let him show his range. Hey, mom. Who's Gareth? Hello, yeah. Hey, what's going on? Andrew.

Hey, mom. No, it said your name on the caller ID, so I knew it was you. Hello. Yeah, yeah, that's how caller ID works. Exactly. So I got a news that I've probably waited too long to share with you.

What happened? I hear for you. Yeah, so I how have you been? What did you get? Did you get the sneakers that I sent you? Yeah, I did. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Honey, let the boy speak. Ted, keep developing some economy. Your father, he's had a drink. It's a little early, but that's a story. Hey, Drew, spit the beans here, son. What's going on? What do you got? You mean your mother

wants you to spit the B? I got fired. I got fired. I got fired. What do you mean? From what? Your job, not your job. Um, I had to be in Florida. Um, and I missed it. So they fired me. Son of a... What? You missed an event and your chop fired you? Hey, Drew, how'd you miss it? Sticking your goddamn head up your own ass? Oh my God. Yes, sir. Oh my God, Ted, take the phone fully. Oh my God. Oh my God. No. All right. You know what?

Andrew, let us call you in 24 hours. We'll talk to you soon. Oh my God. Wow. That went tough. Yeah. Tough for you in 24 hours later. Uh, hello.

Your mother's got something she wants to say to you. Hello. Okay. Is this a henture? Hey, hey, hey, hey, mom. Stacy, please. For a little while. I am not comfortable with the term mom right now. Oh, uh, Hey Stacey. I just wanted to say that yesterday was quite traumatic and I've had 24 hours on the dot to deal with it. And I just, I guess I'm hurt more than I'm angry at this point. And your father has, has spit the beans on me about what I should be feeling and doing.

And I guess it's time for me to say, well, it's been very tough to hear that you lost your job. We support you, right, Ted? Well, Andrew, I'm going to ask you this. What are you gonna do now? Well, I applied to another job and we've got some interviews in the work with the company, so we'll see how it goes. How do we know if that's even true Ted? I mean the boy just he makes up. All right, all right.

I'm sorry. You're right. I'm doing it again. All right. So what happens if that doesn't work? You're just going to be sniffing ass? No, no, I won't be sniffing ass. I will find something else. Maybe something in between. And then you just call where you're looking for money. Are you offering money? No, no, we're not. Okay. Okay. Okay. No, no, I wouldn't even think that that no, I sent back. They don't fit papers. Okay, I will go to the post office right after this call and send back the sneakers. Now I've got to interrupt this because I do believe that was not helpful in the slightest. No, I don't agree. No, not at all. But I disagree. No, hold on.

I feel like I have felt a lot. I found a lot of help in this. Do you feel as if that would, and you can be honest here, Andrew, you don't have to worry about the bit. Was that helpful at all? It was helpful in the fact of it has further secured my fear and eventually letting them know what happened. So let's hope I get this job.

Okay. and eventually letting them know what happened. So let's hope I get this job. Okay, so is there any truth to the level of reaction of your mother would be intense? Yeah, yeah, probably. Or I could be completely wrong. Yeah, but that's your, so my advice to you is then for sure, don't tell mom and dad, there's no upside. Yeah, after walking a little while on your mother's heels, which I just did, and I think it went great.

I don't know why you two are sort of aligned on the fact that that was maybe a misstep. I think it went great. I now know how your mother feels. Don't absolutely. I've seen it from the other side. I've seen a few from the other side. I get it. She's not going to take it.

Well, I think, yeah, I think the move is, is, and again, this is going to be the advice I gave pre-call, pre-fake call, but I still think that call was very informative, but get the job. Then you eventually lay it out a couple months from now, something like that. If you don't get the job, make, put some money in your pocket and keep looking. You'll find something you're young. It's going to happen. For sure. I'll let them know if I get the job. I'll let them know, you know, Christmas when everybody's happy. Can I ask you one last time before we hang up and we're going to have to go in a second,

but could you now you've seen Gareth commit to your mom. You've seen me commit to your dad. You've walked in something I'm personally interested in is, you know, we're just bullshit and we don't know, but this is your real family and this is a real issue for you. Could you try to walk us through to the best of your ability? You might be wrong. We're not holding you to it, but what would happen if you talk to your mom and could you do your best version of your mom and your best version of your dad? with you telling them and your guess of what they would say and

The I don't knows and the ho-homs just cut those out and commit to it and see what happens. Do you mind trying that? Oh Man, it's supposed to be hard. God damn it. That's why you called. We made it look easy, but it's hard. Yeah. Y'all are real professionals. Oh, okay. So just commit to it. And this is ridiculous, but I'm just trying to get a sense of your, what you think would happen before I could give any of the final, my pieces of advice. Yeah. Okay. So I spilled the beans. I said I got fired. Then the waterworks would come. She'd be like, I just, I can't, I can't head. And then exactly kind of like how you laid it out. Jake, you'd be like, well, what, how could, how could you let this happen? What did you do? Uh, what are you going to do now? Just kind of like a grilling aspect of it,

probably for like 10 minutes, like lay out your plans. How are you going to do now? Just kind of like a grilling aspect of it probably for like 10 minutes, like lay out your plans. How are you going to pay for rent? Stuff like that. And then it would genuinely probably, we wouldn't be able to have like a good conversation about it. Like me recognizing my mistakes to them, giving me good advice for another day or so. And then I think honestly, I'm playing it like way too much in my head over and over for these guys. But they would honestly probably be very fair after the initial shock of me letting them know. And they'd probably give good advice after that. Sorry. I know you wanted me to act it out. No, no, that's good. But Andrew, that was exactly what I was hoping for.

What I will say is the nice thing, it seems like you got a nice family and you're lucky for that. If you decide to tell them the truth, I think their advice would be helpful, but you've committed to the lie. So I would finish it out. If you do not get this new job and it doesn't happen, I think you got to tell mom and dad the truth because your parents might have some good advice to help you. If you do get the job, tell them the good news, you got the job and then tell them that you got fired.

Yes. Okay. I think that's right. And there's, and let me just say two things going forward. I would say next time, I mean, you've probably been pretty stressed out about the fact that you had this kind of lie going on. So next time, it's always better to try to pursue the path of honesty. That's the one for you. For us, I think we've kind of cracked a new way to operate with this show, which is the role for I gotta say, Garth.

Oh, yeah, I gotta say Garth, man. You know, I was against it. Afterwards, I thought it was a total mess. But when he recapped it, yeah, we were right. And also he even said at one point, the mom said like, he goes, Ted. And I was like, and you did throw that to me at one point. So I'm open to it.

I'm open to it. People know Jake from acting. I am also available to act, but Andrew, it's not about me. That's not about me. You really don't know. You just in the well. You just in the theater. And that's not what it's about. You're in the well. I understand. Andrew, go go forward with your lessons.

And, you know, I will I can be direct to call backs. And also, Andrew, do us a favor. Email the helpful pod at Gmail with what happens with the new job and where you're at. We would love to follow up with you. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you all. I know who I will cast as my parents in my future biopics.

Now you're talking. Thank you very much. All right. Appreciate it. your time. Thank you very much. All right. This season get premium technology that inspires joy from Dell Technologies. Bring your most intensive projects to life with our most powerful XPS laptop. The XPS 16 delivers supercharged processing for enhanced productivity and freedom to express yourself with a dedicated system for AI-enabled apps. Performance Class Dell PCs and Intel Core Ultra processors deliver a dedicated engine

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Gareth. Hi again. Can we, could we, hello you. Now let's end the hello portion and let's find out what your name is and your age and where you're calling from please. My name is Maddie, I'm 23 and I'm calling from Raleigh, North Carolina. Okay, Maddie. Well, you're on with Jake and Gareth

and why don't you tell us what's going on? What do you need us to help you with? Well, I've been in a situationship for the last four years. Very interesting start. Yeah, we've been super on and off throughout that whole thing. I guess that's what a situationship is. But we've been super on and off. He like Semi cheated on me kind of but not really in the beginning of our relationship

And that had a whole Lot thing. What does what does that mean exactly? Can you can you just kind of give us a little context into that that he did cheat but he didn't cheat How does one pull that off right so on my best friend had a friend that I had previously met and he was sleeping with her um and you know I was talking to my friend about this guy and she was like you know my friend is sleeping with him right now, right? And I'm like, what? No, he's single.

And yeah, he didn't know that the girl he was sleeping with and that her and I knew each other. That sounds, were you, okay. Well, we'll let him get away with that one. Sounds to me a little like cheating. Yeah, but it's like, we were like in the, that's why it's very borderline. He was kind of cheating, but not really. He was in the gray zone.

Yeah, cause it's like, you know, we're in the talking zone. We're kind of reaching that point of like, do we want to start dating and like kind of being exclusive? Like, you know, but it's like, you know, you could still have the day to tell me. Of course. Okay. So why don't you, well but it's like, you know, you still have the opportunity to tell me. Of course. Okay, so why don't you, well first of all, can you give us his name and you can even make up his name, but what should we call him?

Let's call him Brian. Brian, okay. And okay, get into a little more of what your question is or your direct problem, if you can. So, all that stuff that I was just talking about that was very beginning and we've gone through a lot of trial and error since then and I don't know what to do it you know it's been four years and I don't know if it's just time to let him go and move on to

somebody else or you know if I should hold on to a shot with him because I do really like him and if there is a shot with him I want to you know, if I should hold on to a shot with him, because I do really like him. And if there is a shot with him, I want to, you know, I want to see it through. Maddie, you're 23 years old? That's really young. I would say if he says he wants to be friends, let's trust him. Yeah. If he's flirting with you, well, he might want to have sex again.

If he's being cagey, it's because he wants to have sex with other people too. And if you're holding on to something, I don't I think if you really want to test it, go see what else there is to offer. If you meet somebody else and you like them, maybe Brian will come back and then you can compare and contrast. But you're saying you might want to hang on should you hang on and he's telling you to get the fuck out of Dodge. So I don't think it's up to you. So he's saying he wants to be friends.

When somebody says something like that, keep this shit simple. Yeah. Move on and then let them come chase you. It's really like one of those things that you kind of learn through, like you said, trial and error, basically. Jake and I were young once too. It was the 80s. But, you know, there is something when you kind of fully pull back that maybe rattles him in a way where he'll kind of give you the version you deserve. But right now he's not. I mean, right now he's kind of a fuck boy. So unfortunately, you're dealing with a fuck boy. And the only way to really deal with it is to sort of just be like-

How many people have called you fuck boy in your life, Gareth? I want to- of just be like- How many people have called you fuckboy in your life, Gareth? I want to- I'll be honest, what's been annoying is how the uptick has happened in the last few years. It's really started to get- The deeper you get into boys offensive, you are a man. Yes. At your age, boy is offensive for you. I'm a fuckman, goddammit.

I mean, how many times have you been called the fuckboy Jake? That's the real question sadly zero. Thank you, man We I wish we wanted wanted This point I would pay money. Yeah, I have What a fuck boy I've paid I'm not gonna lie I've paid over a thousand dollars What a fuck boy. I've paid. I'm not gonna lie, I've paid over $1,000 to be called a fuck boy online. It's just, you feel young, you feel like you're sexually vibrant again, it's awesome.

But what he's doing is he's just, you cannot give the comp, you cannot give yourself this version of it and expect the best version. The thing for you to do, even if it's difficult, is to just be like, all right, I'm moving on. And that kind of means ignoring the flirting, ignoring the stopovers, all that.

You're 23, you've been in this since you were 19. You are going to be like, holy shit, there are much better situations out there. And I'm having so much fun in my goddamn 20s. So this podcast, we're on your team, we're not on Brian's team, right? You called it, so we're on your team. We're not on Brian's team, right? You called it. So we're with you.

So 100% I would push you to see what else is out there. If Brian comes back, he better come back with more of a commitment and be more real. Yeah. That cagey shit, that kind of flirting wanting to be so let them do it. I don't understand young people who try to hold on to bullshit and create something that's not there and hurt each other. If he wants to go do it, let him do it. I don't understand young people who try to hold on to bullshit and create something That's not there and hurt each other if he wants to go do it. Let him do it He's not a bad person for wanting to date other people. He's young So I would say it's harder to move on

Until you've moved on and then the new person is really fun. Yeah. Yeah, take it from a fuck man You're dealing with a fuck boy you are a take it from a fuck boy you're dealing with a fuck boy yeah yeah maybe be a fuck boy senior but I don't love that I don't I do not love that I don't love I think it's fair to call you a boy senior you know and they name they like no then their kids are junior I'm not gonna comfortable with your your senior. I'm not comfortable with that. I am not comfortable with that. So Maddie, what I mean, yeah, you know, this, this is kind of a

straightforward one to us, just because I think we've probably, we've probably been like Brian before. And you kind of know, I mean, he's just kind of he is kind of telling you what's up. So what do you think you're going to do? Before you say that, Maddie, have we missed anything? Is there a big piece of information you haven't shared yet or no? Not that I can think of. No, I mean, he's not a bad person. Like you're saying, you know, if he wants to sleep with other people, he totally can. It was just, you know, I expectations, not the right word, but I just, I had this like, idea of where our relationship was going. And I guess he had a different idea.

Or maybe he had the same one and it changed. Yeah. And with that in mind, Maddie, what do you think you're going to do here? Well, I actually took a summer college course and I wound up meeting this guy that I really like and I've been talking to him recently and I've been thinking about asking him out. So, I don't know, I might ask him out now. I'm going to tell you this and this is a piece of real advice and I've heard it from other gentlemen when we've talked to our without women around.

A woman asking out a guy is a great move. Whatever that old ideas of like wait for the wait for me to do it as the guy. Fuck no. If a girl walked up and texted and said like, hey, I think you're really attractive. I'd love to go out and get a drink with you. What a fucking text to get.

You don't have to play all these weird games and hopefully he hands you a rose and gets on his knee and does all this madness that he can't read these codes to. Just walk up to him and say like, hey, I'm attracted to you. I would love to see if this is anything there. Do you want to go on a date one night? Yeah, I've done that a couple of times. I mean, not like a lot a lot, but I've you know noticed a cute man And I'm like hey I you know want to get to know you and I go to home and tell my parents about it

And my mom is pretty cool with it, but my dad's like no you shouldn't do that Yeah, but also your dad does not want you sleeping with a bunch of guys He's your grandpa I Can I can read the room right here can't assume her dad's a fuck grandpa. I can see, I can read the room right here. We can't assume her dad is a fuck grandpa. Also, Mattie does not. No, he's right. Yeah, he's a fuck grandpa. Your dad's an old fuck boy?

Um, he's not a cis attractive woman. All right, he's a fuck grandpa. We're getting into danger. It's a fuck grandpa, a fuck man, and a fuck boy. And we get it, Jake. Maddie, our advice to you on this one as people in your corner is ask this other guy on a date. If he gives you a weird reaction, move on.

Go on a bunch of dates. Find somebody new. If Brian comes back, let him come back. But I wouldn't hold on too tight. Yeah. All right, buddy. Thank you for the call thanks man you're welcome bye guys we're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds the show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakiya and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you

could check out his music at Oliver Raleigh dot com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike D-I-K-E and if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road go to Garethrentz.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland, you can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash year to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be

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