We're Here to Help - 127: New Question: Why Did I Call In?

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Jake and Gareth talk to callers about RSVPing to a party and a honeymoon dilemma. Later, Jake and his brother Dan talk to a caller whose sister keeps joining guys night. Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodTIKTOK: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back! You know what we were just talking about was malls, Gareth. Ah, remember? What was your favorite go-to thing in a mall? You had mall days when you were in junior high and high school, right? Where that's what everybody did. Yes. You'd hang out at a mall.

What do you mean, my favorite store? What was your favorite? Back in the day, when you'd go to a mall with a couple of cool kids maybe a duke starter jacket yeah maybe you'd take the bus san jose sharks yeah literally miami hurricanes hat backwards buddy you and i truly hat backwards same san jose sharks go to the mall did you ever have z's in the side of your head the shaved in? Yeah, no, but I did smoke Newports Wow, all right. No, I smoked but not Newports you weren't in the No, I never was I always I liked I mean I think the first cigarette I really started smoke was Marlboro Reds like I was like hey, whatever I got a habit

They they hurt so bad, but they were so bad Yeah, it's always and then people would be would be like, dude, you like camels? And I'd be like, dude, I love them. I'd be like, nah, I need something stronger. I was 14. Yeah. I'll tell you what I used to love about a mall, and I still miss it. A big slice of Sbarro pizza.

Sbarro was unbelievable. And boredwalk fries. So borrow pizza. Did Sabaro ever exist anywhere outside of a mall or airport? Probably I don't think there's no brick and mortar Sabaro where people are like table for two. But those slices in the size of slice enormous. I'd never seen a slice like that. It's hanging over the paper plate.

You're like, this is the biggest slice of pizza I've ever seen the food court when you were a kid. Okay, so you remember Spencer's gifts? No You don't remember Spencer's gifts. No, what's Spencer's gift? It was like a weird like kind of kitschy store where it would be like It would be like it would be like weird like posters It would be like there was like a section where it was for couples, like edible underpants or love cuffs. It was a weird little shop. They were everywhere.

I went in there one day and basically got high. I went in there just as a consumer and this woman, I don't even remember how we got to talking but she was like, you should work here. She hired me. On the spot. On the spot. I filled out the application.

She hired me. I came in the next day, started working and we both very quickly were like, this is not for you. I just was like not into it. And when she told, she was like telling me that when they throw stuff out you can't have it because that's stealing and I had a real issue with that and by the end of the day I had a big issue with that with catering yeah where I still do that shit I'm like I'm walking around with a tray of these delicious finger foods no one's eating them I'm about to

throw them out why is everyone looking at me like I'm a weirdo because I'm doing open mouth funneling? Well, Jake, I'm going to tell you why. There's a difference between putting a few on a plate and making a case. I'm working. And another acting like a catering wimpy. Without further ado. Hi there. How's it going?

Good. We hope you're doing well. You're on We're Here to Help with Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. Can we ask your name, your age, and where you're calling from? Sure. This is George. I'm 30 and in Philadelphia. George, 30, Billy. Okay. So George, why don't you tell us what the problem is and we'll, we'll do what we can. Sure. So, um, my brother and his wife live about three hours from me and they

recently replaced the pool that, um, when they bought their house about a year ago, um, it came broken basically. Like as part of the sale, they were like, you're going to have to replace it. So they just finally did that. They're very excited and to celebrate they're having a pool party and they invited everybody and it's been about like two weeks since the invitations went out. Now the problem is that I'm also the following weekend going to be seeing both of them at my grandmother's birthday party, which obviously attendance and that is non-negotiable. And that's even further away. So I have been kind of trying to mull over a way to RSVP no to

the pool party without hurting their feelings. And also in a way that kind of covers up the fact that there is an element of laziness to this where I just kind of don't want to be driving all weekend for two weekends straight. And you know, the pool is not going anywhere. So I can see it the next time I come up, right? Okay. So just to get this one straight, your, who was it again that's having the pool party? My brother and his sister-in-law, who I'm pretty close with both of them. And how long's the drive?

About three hours to their place. Holy shit. Three hours each way to jump in a pool? Right, that's what I'm saying. First of all, George, I'm with you. I'm an instant. Fuck your pool. I'm not driving six hours to swim. The following weekend.

How far is the drive to Grandma's B day? About five hours each way. Yeah. She's out. Why? George. First of all, George, good shout out to the type of family member you are. Yeah. If my grandma was 45 minutes away and she said come to my 100th birthday, I'd be like, that's why I texted. I've never heard anyone go like, I had the best weekend ever with my grandma's 83rd. 10 hours of commuting for an old lady.

You're going to be your grandma's age by the time you're done with all that shit. Now wait, let me ask one question very quickly. You said their pool was broken. Right. Or like some of the mechanics in it were like, okay, in disrepair. So they had drained it and it was just sitting there empty for last year. So the big thing is that they fixed their pool. Yeah, pretty much.

And they're like, Hey, it's summer. It's hot as hell out here. So I got a question, George. Do you like to swim? I do like to swim. I do like to swim, although I am more, I, you know, I like the ocean. Okay. But would you, if it was close, if it was like a 30 minute drive, would you be like, yeah, I'm going swimming. Oh, 30 minutes might still be pushing it a little bit for me to be that excited. Okay. So you're not like swimming is not like a big part of your life. Right. I like it, but I'm not like actively going out of my way to seek it.

I guess I'll tell you why. Cause you're 30. People who really love pools and go out of their way to seek it, our children. So if you're like nine, you go like, can we please go to a pool? When you're 30, you go like, there's a pool. I went swimming last weekend for the first time. I was like, when was the last time I went? I mean, it had been like a decade

and my life did not seem incomplete being, it was very bizarre. Swimming's a very weird thing as you age. Floating is a trippy thing to do in your 40s. Well it also just, when I was swimming I was like, I used this used to be my favorite thing in the world to do every day. Now George, do you work during the week? I do, yes.

You do. So your weekends are kind of George time and you're looking at losing You know two weekends to buy guys if you go to see your grandma, are you are you doing an overnighter? Yeah, I think I'm probably gonna be crashing at her place and coming back the next day Also, just a very it's that makes the plot a little thicker and what about your brothers? Are you gonna be crashing there? That's what I think is that What thickens the plot there? I don't know. Staying over at grandma's sort of like, you know what I mean?

You're probably in a room with some dolls and old clothes. Could be a little strange. What is going to be the sleeping arrangement at grandma's? And what do you call grandma, by the way? Is it just grandma? Yeah. Nana? Yeah, she's just grandma.

Okay. Is it normal to sleep at grandma's? Yeah, she's just grandma. Is it normal to sleep at grandma's? Yeah, she normally hosts Christmas and stuff. So there is space for people to have privacy. And your brother and his wife will be at grandma's? Correct. And this might actually thicken the plot as well. There is a pool at grandma's.

Okay. And this might actually thicken the plot as well. There is a pool like grandma's. So I got to say the pool element doesn't seem to be like a big driving force, at least for me. I love I love I love that twist because it's not really a twist, but it feels like a. I mean, George, did you expect the reaction? Oh, all right. He I did. I know. Yeah, respect respect. Then I apologize.

We didn't give you the proper response. It kind of got me for a minute where I was like, that's interesting. And then I'm like, I don't think that is interesting, actually. Would your brother

be offended if you said because I know my brother, who's my best buddy, if he said like, hey, man, come drive three hours to my pool party. I would answer immediately with a pass just in caps. No period. Just P A S S is the kind of relationship you have with your family. If your brother goes like, we finally got the pool going, Georgie, once you come for

a swim and you just wrote like pass, I'm not 11. I don't want to, but I love it. Is that a laugh? Is that dramatic? Is that trouble? What kind of family are we talking about here? I don't think that he would mind. I think that he probably would get it. No problem. Cause he's, he's a bit of a homebody himself. So he's not really trying to get too unstuck, but his, his wife loves to host. And so I think that she would probably be a little disappointed if, especially because, you know, she and I are also pretty close. Like we get along well.

So they're always, you know, kind of eager for me to make the trip up, even though they understand that it is. It's a hike. All right. Here, I think what I would do here, I'm getting close to locking in my advice. I think the move is a little white lie. What do you do for work exactly, George? So I work in the marketing department for a university here in Philadelphia.

So it is not out of the realm of possibility that something comes up later in the week that kind of bones your weekend, that on a Thursday kind of changes the plans, that you could sort of say to them, hey, out of nowhere, my boss dropped this on me, I'm gonna need to work most of Saturday and some of Sunday, I can't do this. That doesn't seem crazy to them, right?

No, I don't think that that would be crazy. So you're saying that I should fake like I'm going to be going. Gareth is saying RSVP yes, and then do a call. It'd be like, what a drag this thing came up. I would have loved to drive six hours to swim. I think you do the juke. I think it's juke time. I think that's, I think it's again, this, the reason why I would employ this is because it's juke time. I think that's I think it's again this the reason why I would employ this

is because it's innocuous. I don't think there is much to it. It's the same outcome. Again, I'm not a big like let's just lie our way out of this. But this one feels like it's one that just buys you enough with so little. That would be my advice. I think that seems pretty solid. It feels like it's not going to get you in trouble. You're going to avoid the big discussion. You could do the asshole thing and create a party where you invite everybody to your house to go in the bath. Right? Where you go like, hey, you know, like his same list, invite everyone in the family, be like, I would love you to drive three hours. I have a warm bath. We can all take as getting in it. And he'll go like, why would I

want to do that? You go, don't worry. I'll put tons of chemicals on it to kill all the bacteria. We just fixed it. Yeah, I just fixed it. But drive all day. And then just sit in this weird tub of water with chemicals. Well, I have a quick add on. I would say when you see them at grandma's, give them a pool related gift. I think that's a way to just yeah, I think, you know, whatever you want it to be. Well, that's unfortunate that you asked that. But I would say like, it's so weird. You're like, Hey, it's grandma's birthday. And your brother goes, why'd you give me a gift? It's so weird. Be like, hey, it's grandma's birthday.

And your brother goes, why'd you give me a gift? And you go like, it's rings that you can go to the bottom of the pool. And he's like, goggles. Thanks for giving me flip-flops. You know what? Here's what you do. You get grandma a gift and wrap a little bit of chlorine. You don't want to know what just happened there, Gareth.

I pushed it. You wanted to be sweet. What I want to do, I want a Karma squeegee. I want to go I'm undoing the fibro. No, I think what happened is you knew you nailed the first part. But the first part is lying. I got greedy. I got greedy. Go to his grandmother's party and give him a pool related gift. You just showed what a human weirdo you are. Here you go. Here's a baby in the sink.

Thanks. Here's some tan lotion. Hey brother, here's a snorkel. Why did you give me a snorkel pack? Well, cause I missed your pool party cause of work. Sorry, the boss inundated me with files last weekend. Here's some flippers. George, 100%.

We are going to stand behind the white lie. The last second cancellation, give them a few days in advance, I'd cancel by like Tuesday of that week. I go, I go Wednesday, Thursday. Yeah. Sell it. Yeah, maybe I go Wednesday, Thursday. Yeah. Sell it. Yeah. Go Wednesday. Give them time to cancel in case your sister in law is doing like specific stuff for each get each person. I don't know how many people are going to be at the party, but if it's food related and how much they order, you know, give them a chance to lose

money on you. And second, do not do the pool related gift. That is a real weird turn. I'm also getting rid of the pool related gift. What we like to end these with is that's kind of our best take. What do you think you're going to do? I mean, I think that that does make a lot of sense. It does feel like even if they're like, oh, well, do the work here, like bring up, bring them up. I think that I would be able to, you know, kind of just be like, no, I don't think so. Yeah, totally.

The three-hour drive gets you out of that. And if they need to hear it, let them know you're swimming in work. Thank you, George. This is, we're here to help. We'll be right back. Thanks, guys. All right. All the best, buddy.

Thanks, George. We are brought to you All the best, buddy. Thanks, George. We are brought to you by the Litter Robot. Look, I don't need to read any copy when talking about the Litter Robot. If anything, Litter Robot has emailed me and asked me to pull it back a little bit because I love the Litter Robot for my cat so much. I, like every other cat owner, used a litter box for a long time. Not a lot of people know this, Kevin, but the reason why cats use litter is because they're hiding

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Hello. Hi, welcome to the show. We're here to help. Can we get your name, please? Hi, my name is Sarah. Hey, Sarah. And where are you calling from, Sarah? I am calling from central Kansas.

Kansas. And have a lot of people told you you have a very pleasant voice in your life? Is that a reoccurring theme? You know what? Someone once told me that I would make a great like voiceover for a cartoon character. I believe that. I believe that person is really smart.

So I've got some sad news and then some personal very happy news. Okay, I'd love to hear it. The sad news is, is Gareth is doing a live show in Alaska. He couldn't make it, but it's truly not his fault. We pulled this off last minute. So he wishes he could be here, but the personal good news is we've replaced him tonight with my older brother, my BFF, Mr. Dan Johnson.

It's true, Sarah. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for Sarah. The man who when I first got on television, Sarah, as the character Nick Miller of New Girl, we were at a bar together in Chicago called Old Town. True story. And Dan stood up and yelled, I'm Chris Miller, Nick Miller's older brother. And I actually did go to law school.

Ladies. That's true story. I love it. And then later that night, and then we're going to get to you. I, uh, they asked me to get up on stage at the great second city to do an improv thing and it was a friend of mine. I think it might have been Bungra who said it was wild, man. He goes, you got up there.

Your brother heckled you from the first. Till the end. A true brother. Yeah. So, Sarah, you're in for a treat. So you also got the shark, of course. So the floor is yours, Sarah. Please tell us what is going on and we will do our best to get you out of this situation. Awesome.

Well, thank you so much. So the situation is I have a sister who invites herself to all of our family's guy functions. So, I'm talking Father's Day at the local cigar lounge. I'm talking going down to a bar downtown with my dad, husband, and brother-in-law. And understandably, it drives my husband crazy. Yes. So, Sarah, is it your sister? My sister, yes.

Goes with your husband. Boys night? Yeah, her boys night. And it doesn't matter what the occasion is, she just invites herself along. And she shows up. And who are, in terms of the boys night, who is it? It's your husband? Yep, so it's my husband, my dad, and then I'm my sister's husband. So my brother-in-law, and then I have a another sister and another brother-in-law. So it's okay. Okay. And then her

Understood. So it but it's not like it's not like you and me, Dan. It's not like, not like it's not like you and me, Dan. It's not like, yeah, it's not like your husband and his brother are like, I can't believe my wife's sister showed up. Yeah, it's a husband, a brother in law, a brother in law, a father. So she's going to her husband's guys night out. Yes. Yes. Wait, so your dad had three daughters? Yes, he did. So I get it now. So it's him with his three son-in-laws. That's correct. Yeah. And he's going like, Hey, look at this. I didn't have, I got three guys were having cigars and then one of his daughters

is there. Exactly. Okay. So more than the husband, because the in-laws, the husbands, they don't matter. This is a father daughter. 100%. What is that? What is, what are we calling your sister? Amber. Rachel. That's me and Dan. Our sister is named Rachel. Let's just call her Rachel. I like that. No, we can't. We can't. What are we calling her? You said Amber? Amber. Amber. So what does your dad feel about Amber crashing these? So to be honest, he's not saying anything. He's never made a thief to me or anybody else. It's just my husband. He's like, why is she coming? Well, what is Amber's husband's fake name? So we're gonna go with Chris.

Chris, and what does Chris say to your husband about it? Yeah, that's right. That's a good question. I guess I haven't explored that. It's very hard to Get them away from each other. They're very close They're very codependent Yes, they are like they met in high school. They were 16 years old high school sweethearts Not that there's anything wrong with that Amber Dan is married to his high school sweetheart

You take it easy. Get a little defensive, Sarah. You take it easy. There is nothing wrong with that. I mean, look, I just came from a guy's night out and of course, Kelly was there. And we were smoking cigars. I just don't see what the problem is, Sarah. Right. Okay. But so they're always together. They're always together. So it's very hard to talk with one without the other there and how would you describe? Amber in the group of sisters growing up was she?

In the middle of it was she she the baby was she the baby was she the middle was she the oldest where she at? In the group. Yes her vibe Yeah, so she's the middle child and she the oldest? Where's she at in the group? What's her vibe? Yeah. So she's the middle child and she, I love my sister. I love my sister, but I would describe her as she's very stubborn, very selfish, whereas me and my youngest are more like-minded and not more people pleasing whereas he really really doesn't care what people think but we're all three very tight all very close okay so your husband says at these guys night does Amber ruin the vibe or is she just there she ruins the vibe absolutely she's loud she? She ruins the vibe. Absolutely.

She's, she's allowed. She's a talker. She speaks her mind. Um, so yeah, she makes her presence known for sure. I've got it. I've got it. My first pitch. You're ready for a pitch.

I think so. I love it. I think your husband needs to set up the next guy's night at a place like a men's spa. Where, like, the only way you walk in, it's like, if you go to like an old golf club, where you're like, the locker room has a bar, you go like, I'm sorry, Amber,

we would love to smoke cigars with you and talk wives. Yeah. But in this specific place, it's unbelievable. It's guys only there's a sign on the door. Yeah, I love that. I think. Go ahead, Dan. No, finish up, finish up.

Well, I think there's something to that. Now it's not going to be easy to get Chris on board with that. This is my point. This is my point, Jake. I think you're shooting early. I'll tell you why. Well, and I do want to add. Oh, sorry.

Go ahead. No, no. There's more to learn. Okay. So I do want to say, so like I said, I have a good relationship with her. I feel like I can come to learn. Okay so I do want to say so like I said I have a good relationship with her I feel like I can come to her. I did talk to her this year like approaching Father's Day because that's one that she always tags along to and I just said I tried a couple of different things I said hey let's us girls do

something fun while the guys are getting together in which she responds, Oh no, I like cigars or I like drinks. So I want to be there too. I don't want to miss out. I've offered to watch her kids. So she has the opportunity to go do something for herself. She responds, she responds, Oh, well, if you watch my kids, then I can just go be with the guys. That would be great. Um, so then finally I just said, and I'm passive and nice, so I said it through a text. Midwestern. I said, hey, my husband doesn't appreciate it when you come to guy's night. Damn.

Set up and delivery was different. If he didn't come. Damn. By the way, I said this nice and passive because I'm from the Midwest. Set up and delivery was different. If you didn't come. Dang. By the way, I said this nice and passive because I'm from the Midwest. I texted, hey bitch, no one likes you. You're a piece of shit. I've always way bonded more with my youngest sister. You ruined the vibe.

Because you're the C word. You literally ruined our family. Bunny ears. I put Vaseline on my face. Yeah. I got to say, Sarah, that's... So you said, but by the way, Sarah, I think you made a big mistake. I think you made a big mistake.

You blamed him. Yeah, that's tough. What was the reaction? What was the reaction? So the reaction was she said, I completely exclamation point smiley face and then you know what happened? What? Neither of them came.

So my brother-in-law didn't come. Yeah. So I was like well now I'm at a loss. I feel like I've tried different options. They haven't worked. So here that's where you guys. So that's where it's at right now right now Chris and Amber no longer go to the guys night does your dad and

the two other guys do they still do it or is it now like got a weird stink to it they still do it but they miss them they they would like for him to tag along but they do still get together or Poor Chris. Yeah. I know, poor Chris. Looking out the window. Do-de-do. I wonder what the guys are doing. Do-de-do. Probably smoking a My Father. And do you think, Sarah, from your point of view,

Chris wants to be back out there with the guys? I do. Okay. I will say that in general, he doesn't have a closeness to our family as the other two brethren-in-laws do. I would say my younger sister's husband and my husband, they really truly are like family and that they gel so perfectly. But I would say the middle.

Kirsten Amber on the out. Yeah, they don't come near as much family functions as the others do. Let me throw something out there. Let me throw something out there. This might be right, this might be wrong. I just got a gut feeling. This is gonna be a swing and a miss, but I love be wrong. I just got a gut feeling. This is gonna be a swing and a miss,

but I love the ambition. I don't think so. I don't think so. It's all right. I think Chris is asking Amber to come. Yeah. I think he's saying, I don't feel close to these guys.

It's your family. It's not my dad. It's your dad. I don't feel like these two other guys are like, Hey dad, Hey dad. And I'm like, you have it dad, you little bitches. Stop acting like you're part of their family. Guess what? You get divorced, you're out.

He's like, they're weird. They're weird. They're acting like he's our daddy they're weird. They're weird. They're acting like he's our daddy too. You're a grown man. Right. He's like, but I gotta go because they're nice. They're inviting me. Yeah. Come with him. I like you. Yeah. I, so if you come, it's fun. You're fun. Yeah. I've liked you since I was 16. All I want is Amber. What I don't want is Amber's D bag brother-in-law. And brother-in-law. And these Tweedledee and Tweedledum being like,

yes, daddy, yes, daddy, can I get in the inheritance? Suck off. Guess what? The truth is Chris and your husband, they're not brothers. Right. They're not brothers-in-law. They're just two dudes. Nothing. Yes. They're not brothers in law. They're in fact dudes.

Nothing. Yes. They're nothing. Chris hates your husband, Amber. By the way, Dan, let's rewind. This will be a swing and a miss to he hates your husband. How fast the winds turn for old DJ. Yeah, guess what, Jake?

You were ambitious, but that time you connected that ball sailed out of the stadium. Thank you. Because you sniffed it out. It's all Amber's husband. Because that's what I'm thinking. Because I'll tell you what and tell us if we're wrong, Sarah. We're not. But Amber, when you say things like you could just, I'll babysit your kids and you can go do anything. Everybody in the world wants a night off. Yeah. But she's going, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going to hang out with my dad, your husband, my

other sister's husband and go smoke cigars because I love cigars so much because Chris has told her, I don't know how to say no to these guys I can't spend another Friday night with these goobers talking about the tile company help me I can see it you can yeah yeah I really can now that you're talking through is this true yeah of course it might be true I mean I can't obviously, but like as you're saying it, it's absolutely a possibility. And so maybe Amber's swallowing the grenade. So what you can do is on these guys nights, you can turn it into a family night and the guys can do their thing.

But Chris is allowed to hang back with Amber and you. Like if you guys all go do something and then there's a part where your dad goes like, hey, me and the guys are going to go watch me hit golf balls. Wait, his two sons. Wait a minute, Jake. What? Sarah's father is not Chris Elliott. All right. Sorry, Sam Elliott. Chris Elliott's a very different read. I know I'm not an impression guy, but that was not Chris Elliott.

No, no, no. Sarah, was that anywhere near your dad? My dad is like a teddy bear. Like, so friendly, so inviting, so welcoming, just a total sweetheart. So I don't know what character that plays after, but yeah, I gotcha. So his, so his vibe. So you, so does your dad like golf? No. What do the guys do? Just smoke cigars in a hot dark room? Usually drink or cigars. Yeah, those are kind of alcohol are you

related to my family yeah yeah we might be because i got i gotta tell you i gotta tell you honestly if i'm chris i'm going i can't do it no i can't sit and i know my brother dan can't do it either he couldn't even hang out in a casino because of the smoke it's repulsive so uh... uh... it's repulsive it's disgusting so who wants this so he might like you i don't like it either no i mean i got it here comes a truck let me put my face over the exhaust and then we'll talk about you know football it's stupid it's just dumb

kevin's a cigar man there's a big humidor from jake right behind me yes i appreciate that yes i listened to every episode. I know that that was gifted to you. Yes, it was. It rules. It says the shark on it.

I love that. So, Sarah, we still got to help you though. Yeah, what do I do? Will you phrase, I know this is too late in the game to do it, but will you phrase your problem in a question just so we could see if there's a way out of this? Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. Now that we've talked, I'm feeling a little less hopeful, but my question coming out of this- Hey, we're here to help. Thank you. Stomped out your hope, huh? You literally just said, after talking about it, I'm less hopeful on a fucking podcast called We're here to help.

This is the epitome of a failed premise. Guess what? I think Gareth might be better at this than I am. I got, you know what we're missing? Just some jokes, just some jokes where we go, we didn't help at all, but they felt more positive. Do you guys have given me great insight that I did not have before? Nah, we're talking about that.

I feel like that is extremely helpful. Okay, alright, so phrase it in the question if you don't mind. Yes, the original question was, and maybe we need to change this, but how can I get my brother-in-law to come to Guy's Night without my sister tagging along? Right. lot of cum to guys night without my sister tagging along. Right. But the new question would be I'm asking the new question would be

why did I call in? How do I get off this call? Because you're making me hate things. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but this was a fail for me. No. Okay, so I have an idea. Okay. You tell Chris the next guy's night that you're throwing Amber a surprise party for just the girls.

Ooh, I love that. Right? You say this. Oh, that's really good. And then it's all the girls and she's like, what is this? And we're like, yeah. And you're just fucking celebrating Amber. It's Am's night with a drink and the nails and all the stuff Am's loves.

And she's like, what is this? And we go, you go, honestly, this is just cause we like you and we want to night with you. Oh, I love that. And honestly, that fits so well with me and my sisters. Like that would not be weird for us to do that. And then you could also say after that, the next one, you guys surprise me.

So she's like, it's not just to get me away. You go like, we're trading a new thing where we're like passing on the surprise So now amber or you say the Nexus right now your plan in the next one, right? But what I like about this plan the most is you're gonna shit on it and we were about to win No, no, no what I like about it is what should happen is you're forcing Chris to go to guys nights He hates and he should because it's good for yeah It's good. He should grow up Chris. Enjoy it.

You're all over the place. He has been in our family way longer than anybody else because they've been together for like 16 years. Yeah, your dad's great. Suck it up Chris. He could find a fun night and hang out. Yes, he can. But then, but really what we're doing is because you can't control Chris, Sarah, but you can control your sister because you did it most of her life. Yep. It's true. As a her older sister, that is absolutely on point. Oh, I could tell.

And you have been puppeteering that little girl as much as you can. And now she's breaking free. So let's pull some goddamn strings. And the strings are going to pull is the next one that your husband is figuring out with your dad and the guys, and he could be talking to Chris and the other guy about we're going to surprise, you know, dad, and we're going to take dad to some gars and drinks and just do a night. And then he could say you, he doesn't say anything to Chris.

Then you guys reach out to her and say, we need you to come do this thing for us. Or you pull Amber in and it's a surprise for the other sister. So she's helping you throw the other sister to make it not all seem about Amber getting away from guys night. Okay. Great. So you got two paths. the other sister to make it not all seem about Amber getting away from guys night. Okay. I rate. So you got two paths. One could be Amber's helping you plan this and it's like, we're just going to do a night for her.

Let's just have fun. We don't do this as sisters and mom enough. Is mom still around? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. We're all very close. And then say there, no, how about this?

Go there doing a surprise for dad So let's do a surprise for mom. Oh Yeah, oh That's kind of like that right because if it's just about amber she might see through it but be like will you help us do this? Let's give mom a great night Yeah, I love that plan and you you should do like a nice job. Thanks for saying you guys, not my brother, Dan. What? By the way, while I was saying it, Sarah, my brother was just going, shaking his head, waiting to go.

Nope. Yeah. Look, I'm a guest, so I'm supposed to be polite. Great idea, guys. Really? Look, I'm a guest, so I'm supposed to be polite. Great idea, guys. I'm really going to work out. So Sarah, what do you think you're going to do here? You think you're going to do that? Oh, absolutely. I love the idea of kind of putting it on the parents because then us as sisters can kind

of gather together to plan it and then the guys can gather together to plan something for my dad. Yes. That worked really well. I think it will work really nicely. And then you just need to get Amber in on the planning so that, and never blame it on your husband if about her not coming. Okay.

I think that's gonna create- Bad wife move. It'll be just a shit zone for him. And then he and Chris have to deal with it. Then if she gets mad at him, it's just like, come on. It's tricky. So now we rarely, we rarely do this Sarah, but we're about to get off the phone, but simply because my brother Dan was on, could you do something and pretend

you're texting it so you're more honest? Oh, sure. Could you give each of us a grade, one through 10 via text? You're a dick. Sure. And just say the text. You're a mean-spirited character. I'm the grandma from the other call. Now, Kevin, for example, keep in mind, he produced this he called that he got you on this was a call

block siblings. So I just want you to think of that. So go ahead. Your first one would maybe be Kevin out of 10. He did put this together did work out nicely. Go ahead. 10 out of 10. Wow, great. Congrats. Now how about me? What did you think? And you could be honest. 10 out of 10. Thank you so much.

That means the world to me. And now how about Dan? 7 out of 10. Thank you so much for the call. Thank you for the call. Sarah, thank you, Sarah. Bye. All the best.

Thanks for nothing. Thank you. Thanks, nothing. Thank you. Thanks, Sarah. And we're brought to you by Squarespace. We love and use Squarespace. I not only have Squarespace as the website, my personal website, I use Squarespace because it's so user-friendly. It's so easy. But we also have loved Squarespace on the show

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My name is Aiden Stephenson and I'm 32 years old and I'm from Whitehorse, Yukon And then 32 you said Yes, where is Whitehorse Yukon exactly Jake and I know but some of our listeners might we're right next to Alaska Okay, okay, Aiden you picked some interesting. Yeah, I think you're our first art. You're our first Alaskan honestly Well, I'm not Alaskan. I'm from the Yukon. I'm Canadian. Okay, let's let's plow through. And what matters is that we can edit that out. So go ahead. What can we help you with her or try to help you with again? We do like to set a low bar, but we're rooting for you. So I'm getting married in a couple of months and my fiance has tasked me with choosing

the location of our honeymoon. So quite a bit more traveled than I am. She lived in England, she lived in Paris, she lived in Australia, Costa Rica, he traveled all over the place and I am not as experienced at traveling. And so I'm drawing a bit of a blank with where we should go. All right. Well, we got to learn a little bit more about you guys. So Aiden, you're from the Yukon born and bred.

No, I grew up just outside of Winnipeg. Okay. So you're, you're a Canadian boy. Yes. Okay. And where'd you meet your, uh, lovely fiance? I met her here in white horse Yukon at a bike shop. Bicycle or motorcycle.

Bicycle. Okay. Uh, what's her name? Her name is Kate. Kate. Where's Kate from originally? Kate is from the Yukon. Okay.

A couple of you. Okay. So why does she travel so much then? What is Kate? What's her kind of energy? She's just a traveler? Is this through work? She was a traveler and she was a red seal pastry chef. So she, uh, she became a pastry chef, kind of used that as her, uh, her ticket to, uh, explore the globe. Cool. Walk us through what that means. Red seal pastry, pastry chef. Uh, so it's a recognized trade. So you've met the standards and you've, uh, you've completed the exams and the

tests and, uh, it's a recognized skill set. So she is like a top pastry chef from the Yukon. And because of her skillset, she's traveled the globe doing this. Exactly. So she's an amazing pastry chef. Hayden, you, uh, you grabbed hold of a nice one here. Nice win. Yeah. Don't I know it. This is a nice win for you, buddy.

Uh, and so she said to you, I don't want to think about the honeymoon. You plan it and you go, well, I'm a guy from Winnipeg who lives in the Yukon. You want to do something around here. And she said, plan something great I'm a guy from Winnipeg who lives in the Yukon. You want to do something around here? And she said, plan something great. We've been to Winnipeg. It's, uh, it's not a honeymoon destination. We'll put it that way. Sure. No. Okay. My guess is you're feeling this pressure, obviously, because she's been a lot of places. Do you want to take her somewhere totally new? Is that kind of the goal? Seems

like I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's fun to explore something together for the first time instead of, you know, one of you saying, well, you know, this is, this is what you do when you're in this place. Agreed. You don't, nobody wants to be driving the train because the beginning of a marriage is, and Gareth is not marriage. So I can explain this to him. You guys are embarking on this journey together and the honeymoon begins it. Yeah, I expected a bigger reaction from Aiden on that. Yeah, I think it was. It felt like for you, music was swelling.

And I thought so, too. I thought Aiden and I were going to connect and run. Well, yeah, it felt like I was kind of shut out. I thought so too. I thought Aiden and I were going to connect and run wild. Yeah, it felt like I was kind of shut out. I tried. Yeah. Well, I tried to get an Aiden Jake thing and it back. Yeah. Really? By the way, Jayden would have been an unbelievable tag team name for you too. But that's just kind of gone now. OK, Aiden. So I think what we need to do is obviously we're very interested in you.

But this is kind of a Kate issue. So we need to kind of figure out what she would like. Now are there any places she's been to that she said are amazing, not to return, but just to sort of give us a profile? So she really liked the English countryside and talks about going back there. Where my mother lives, that can be helpful. Okay. And she talks a lot about. That can be helpful. OK. And she talks a lot about a trip she took to Sri Lanka.

She's she's here giving us some real swing and spectrum stuff here. OK. English countryside in Sri Lanka. It's like french fries and salad, right? Yeah, absolutely. Um, has she ever said to you any places that she's dying to go to? I mean, that seems like a pretty straightforward route. I've heard Portugal a number of times. Okay.

Okay. Now, can I jump in for a second Gareth, even though Aiden and I have zero connection? Yeah, that really fizzles. I'm going to try to build it back up. That'll be interesting to watch. So Aiden, we've heard a lot about Kate, but we haven't heard a lot about you. Oh, you kiss ass.

Oh, look at Aiden and I getting flirty again. Stop. That's embarrassing. So Aiden, where are three dream? Like if you go to me, you, Jakey J, where do you want to go? I'm going to tell you right off the bat. I want to go to Japan. I want to go to Vietnam and I want to go to Kauai. Those are three places I have not been. I want to go. Aiden, do you have

three places? Mexico City. Fun. Thailand. Fun. Great. And Japan as well. Right. Okay. Aren't you guys just firing in all cylinders suddenly? Let's get rid of Kate and let's go to Japan, my guy. Jake, I'm going to need you to remember what the show is and just kind of relax this like attempt for you and Aiden to kind of. So we've got Mexico City, Thailand, Japan. From her, we've got Portugal, English countryside, and Sri Lanka, correct? Correct. Now I'm going to ask one more question and then the Garf man's going to take over if you could kind of describe your, you and Kate's connection, what's the love story about, right?

Lovely. So like my love story with my wife, she's an artist. We connected on the arts. We connected on the idea of family together. We both connected. We love the Yosemite area, things like that. So that was an easy kind of build for us. What's kind of the build for you guys?

We connected over mountain biking and then we found that we shared a lot of the same values and we had similar political leanings and just kind of hit it off from there. So mountain biking out of those, because the values and the politics, I think, are wonderful, but they don't make for exciting honeymoons, but mountain biking could is the idea of having an adventure honeymoon you think would be cool for her. I think so. I do too. Interesting.

You think that's something she'd like to do. She'd like to go rather than, um, you know, relaxing by a beach or something like that, you think a little more active would kind of be the angle she would she would go for some action, some relaxing, we could do a little of both. 100%. I'm doing a quick Google search. I'm going to go I'm going to go how far in Portugal to Mexico City. I'm just going to see.

Do you think because she's mentioned port, do you think she's mentioned porch? Does she know that, you know, she wants to go to Portugal? Do you think she knows that? Yes. Yes, we've talked about that. Do you think that would be a, would she enjoy the fact that she's going to a place that she's always wanted to go? Or do you think she'd be like, Oh, Aiden, I thought you'd do something a little bit more creative. I think she's hoping for some creativity and some maybe a little more effort on my part. Okay.

So Portugal is just too simple. Portugal that low hanging fruit that if I fail to come up with something, we'll do that. Hold on. But even if it was an entire tour of Portugal and for two days, you did mountain biking, two days you were on the beaches and you really explored it. And you planned like a seven day adventure trip based off a place, you know, she wants to go, you guys think that's low hanging fruit. I didn't say that.

That's your buddy, Aidan, who said that Jake, are you guys fighting? Are low hanging fruit? I didn't say that. That's your buddy Aidan who said that Jake. Are you guys fighting? Are you off again? No, we're definitely on. Okay. I'm the, I'm the Kate to his Aidan. Okay. Well, it's not, I think Kate's the Kate. Okay, go ahead. So here's what I kind of feel about Portugal. What I was really hoping for in the three and threes is that you guys had one

place together in terms of a dream place for both of you. But it feels like if you pick a place where you know she wants to go, it's the equivalent of going to a restaurant where you know you're gonna like it. And I don't see for a honeymoon, what you don't want to do is you don't want to go to Mexico City and have her go like, well, this is okay. It's just way more crowded than I imagined and not exactly what I thought or go all the way to Japan and she goes like, this is fun, but it doesn't feel like us. It feels more like you. So I would consider if I were you, I would do port.

I would do Portugal, but I would plan things around that. She doesn't have to think about it. And you plan a honeymoon of both of your shared interests that you do a couple days on the beaches you do one really romantic night there you do a crazy mountain bike trip that takes you from like one place on the country to an entire other place and you end in a way where it's just really about connecting and so the final night is you're in some really romantic bungalow where you guys get to talk about essentially your guys' values and what have connected you to.

That's really fantastic advice. Thanks. And that's Jake's and Aidan, I know you guys are firing again. I mean, things are happening betwixt the two of you, but I'm going to jump in with your non-Portugal options. I'm a citizen of the United Kingdom as well. England, it's okay. If you like England, you're going to love Scotland.

Now, it might not be your mountain biking trip, but I have a pitch for that after this. But Scotland is really a fantastic country. So if you think that the English countryside, that's like Scotland is going to leave the United Kingdom, it knows it's got it so great. Right. My other pitch. And this is like my favorite country I've been to, even though I've only been there briefly. And you can do you can mountain bike and there's a lot of options and it's magic is New Zealand.

Oh, is right. New Zealand is a great country. It's it's I mean, having driven through it, not again, there there's so many options of things to do there. Mountain biking among them. And after a Google, it highly recommends New Zealand for mountain biking. It's beautiful. It's one of these places that definitely I would imagine,

while I'm not going to say it has the Portugal feel, because I wouldn't be able to tell you that, it just does feel tropical. It's like a big Hawaii. Much like I'm saying the UK, England is like the shitty Scotland, Australia is like the shitty New Zealand. New Zealand is, they shot Lord of the Rings there. So that would be my swing for the fences pitch. Before you answer Aiden, for anybody who was just offended by that, which I'm sure there's a lot of you, I want you guys to know that was Gareth Reynolds personal opinion. Yeah, but we sign off on everything that airs. Absolutely.

And I believe it's at Gareth Reynolds or something like that. It's at Reynolds Gareth. I don't mind taking the heat. The Australians know who they are. I'm going to connect with Gareth for a second, and I'm going to agree about Australia. It would be great if it weren't for all the Australians. Aidan, I just wanted to let you know, I know you were hanging out at the Chateau to Johnson for a little while, but let me tell you, the Gare B&B, the doors are wide open and we've got a bed ready for you.

And I guess you guys all hate Australians who I like. Let me tell you the gear B and B, the doors are wide open and we've got a bed ready for you. And I guess you guys all hate Australians who I like Jake quit pandering. You've been pandering to aid and it didn't work out. I will go to the Australian Thursday. So Aidan, you've gotten two different pieces of advice. I hate to say it, but I think the New Zealand thing is a hell of a play. I think that's a fantastic idea. And so what do you, how we like to kind of end these is we can throw out our pitches but from this and obviously things will change, what do you think

you're gonna do? I think I'm leaning New Zealand at this point. Cool. That's great. I think there's both, I think the romantic, you know, seven days plan it out. I think connecting at the end. I really like your pitch, Jake, but Gareth has made a fantastic play for New Zealand. I think so, too. And I think honestly, the other thing about the New Zealand pitch, which is kind of nice, is it's neither of yours. So that therefore it's your guys is together.

Yeah. Nobody's heard New Zealand and been like now. Yeah, you're right. And I'll tell you what I like about it is exactly what Jake said. And the other thing that I like about it is that it's the pitch that bonded you and I together, Aiden, and really after Jake was trying to get some heat going between you, the whole call, it just kind of didn't work and you and I kind of connected in a really natural way. And it just kind of didn't work and you and I kind of connected in a really natural way and it just kind of happened naturally which I love the other thing that I think has been great

on this calls. It's really bonded me with Australians. Yeah, but they're not here and you're again. It just feels so pandering. It's like after they they know what you just did to Aiden. So they're not going to fall for that. Well, I will say there is shit here in New Zealand. They're not idiots Jay and I don. Well, I will say they're a shaker in New Zealand. They're not idiots, Jay.

And I don't think they should be treated like some. It's also bonded me with the people, the beautiful people of the United Kingdom where I lived in Richmond and I love them and I love them. Jake, I mean, what you're so the English and the Australians. Welcome to Team Jakey Jay. Yeah, but it's just and that that's not what this is about. Aidan, we really appreciate you calling. I think you got two great options.

Seems like you got a really nice thing with Kate. And we wish you all the best, my man. Thank you for. Yeah. And please keep us posted as far as if you do, if you do make that trip happen, how it goes. And we would also love to hear if you do her reaction. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you, fellas.

It's been very helpful. Thank you so much. Thank you, Aiden. See you, bud. You're my buddy. You and I got that going. Take care, bud. Thank you. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKee. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakeo and our video editor is John De Bruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at oliverraleigh.com.

That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com. The album artwork is by James Fostike. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fostike. D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethrentz.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash heretohelpod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all

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