We're Here to Help - 157: The Doubtfire Trap & The Ghost of Patty J (with Zach Cherry)

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Zach Cherry joins the show and immediately pitches a full Doubtfire. Later, the guys help a 22 year old manage the drunk alter-ego who eats her roommates' food.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back! We are Zach! We are Zach. We got the great Zach Cherry with us and we're adding him to the intro. Yep. Zach, you were a great guest helper. How did that go?

It was thrilling and it was, I can't to see how how they turn out. Yes agreed There's some really great follow-ups, you know Zach from Severance Zach how's that job been going for you? It's it's amazing. It's a lot of fun. It's cool. How Excited people are about this second season huge It's a huge season for you guys. Well, how was that? It's that PR stunt where you guys all went in the box. Yeah, we spent three hours in a glass cube in Grand Central Station together.

What was that like? It was fun. No one could hear us, so we could kind of say whatever we wanted, but we did, we basically all stayed in character and committed for the full three hours About our workday What if you had to go to the bathroom

You could you could be asked you could ask to be escorted out by one of the loom insecurity who was there if you needed to Every face is covered. Yeah, we didn't need that Well, that show is awesome. And what was great about the second season was there was a fairly long break, so so many people watched the first season. It was kind of genius at the end of the day. It did pick up a lot of steam.

It was a real snowball rolling downhill. And then you're also hosting the Great American Bacon Show on R Roku That is correct with Casey Wilson Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a lot of fun we it's basically just the American version of great British Baking show we have to say baking show here because Pillsbury I believe owns the term bake off So it's the baking show, but it's yeah, it's the same thing, Paul and Prue are the hosts. They bring me and Casey and a bunch of Americans

over to London, we shoot it just outside of London. Same tent, same vibe, it's a lot of fun. What's it like to film those reality shows? Because I've always thought about, like do they really, is it all the time, because we talk about on the challenge, are the finals real? Do they fudge the numbers you know they go like five four and everyone's putting like a last thing on the clothes Is it really like that are they like just everybody finish your fucking croissant on baking show. It's all pretty real

It's it's like they are really baking all day Casey and I barely like you know we don't have to be there for the whole four hours We just pop in and out and and tell them how much time is left. Um, but yeah, it's pretty much as it seems. And so what are the hosts do? Great gig. What are the hosts do in between? We will talk to the bakers. So we like go around and kind of interrupt them and check in with them. We'll, We'll announce how much time is left and then we will sometimes do other bits of business.

They'll give us like a pot and pan and say like, can you go bang this and say you're part of the like croissant brigade or something, you know. Very English. Just trying bits. Yeah. But you got somebody in your ear?

No, we have someone who walks up and whispers to us. So sort of, the old fashioned IFP. We haven't advanced to the ear wig technology. We're on the old school system. I love Casey Wilson. Yeah, she's the best. We did improv years ago with her, she's so funny. She's a lot of fun.

What a great gig man. And we have a lot of fun together. We've found our own little vibe on the show. What a blast. Well, what's good is you've got two great ensembles and then you came into this show and you're part of the ensemble cast here because great advice, great calls,

and I don't, I can't wait to find out where these two situations land, but it is quite a ride. It's a wild one. Quite a ride. Yes, I need the updates as soon as you have them. Absolutely. I need to know what happens.

Well, that's one thing. People, we are so invested in the actual outcomes, partially because we're egomaniacs and it's our advice, but also we do genuinely. See what happens. We want to help. We want to help. Yes. You're here to help. We're want to help we want to help yes

You're here to help we're here to make it. Oh no wait, so Zach We appreciate you joining the show you crushed it and keep going with all your success, man Thanks, thank you and without further Today's episode of we're here to Help is brought to you by Alma. Look, we here at the show, we love, we support Alma because we recognize that your mental health, your mental health care, however you want to phrase it, is very, very important. You know, when you're going through something, it can feel lonely, it can feel difficult, it can feel insurmountable, but that's what Alma does so well. Alma helps you find a therapist that's what Alma does so well. Alma helps you

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Upfront payment of $45 for three months. Five gigabyte plan requires equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.yeah. Whenever I'm looking to travel, I do use Booking.com to find my hotel.

I find it to be very easy and very helpful. I went to New York, I went to San Francisco, and most recently I went to Portland, and I used Booking.com to make that trip easy. Or I should say to make those trips. I go to Booking.com, I go through the search those trips I go to booking.com I go through the search engine I find exactly what I want I'm using the booking.com app I'm all over the place baby well I don't know why is that baby there are many search engines ways to figure out if you're looking for a hotel or a

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Hello. Hello. Hello, welcome. Hello. All right, let's get into it. Welcome to We're Here to Help. We're going to help you. You've got a, we've got a guest.

I don't know if that changes your emotional tenor for this call. How do you feel about that? And then we'll do the reveal. I feel good about that. I'm excited to see who it is. All right, look, you've got Jake. We know Jake.

We love Jake. You've got me. You've got Gareth. But joining us today. We love Gareth. Thank you. Jesus Christ. I was waiting for that.

We are joined by the great Zach Cherry. And we love Zach. We love Zach. Oh wow, hello Zach. Who's our guest helper today. Can we get your name where you're calling from and if you want to give us your age, it's always helpful. Yes, I'm Jennifer. I'm from San Diego, and I'm 25. Okay, Jennifer 25 San Diego. What are you doing out in San Diego? Just so we know?

Like my work life it doesn't matter okay, what's going on? What's the problem? What can we help you with today? We need a little bit more. It just got too complicated How are you like well in what sort of context are you? You know what I mean? It's like, what? You're totally right. It's a straightforward one. That's exactly what you want to do now.

I need to know now. I need to know the work-wise and non-work-wise. Yeah, Zach, you got any questions for Jennifer just to get us started? Take over, friend. Yeah. I guess let's start with work-wise. Okay. What do you do?

Oh, yeah. I work in donor relations for a college. Donor relations are just donations then yes Donor really well I say thank you to the donor You can't talk to three people who are entertainment based about like what you just said to us is like I study moon rocks Zack you got any other follow-ups for We're getting a no Jennifer a little bit. What do you do when you're off the clock now? We're talking um I Horseback ride, and I'm an avid pickleball player

Important information for us this helped yeah, I was hoping for something more like that. Why do you like pickleball more than tennis? Oh? Um well, it's easier easier and I get to run less. I don't know, that's it. That really lines up with the Jake mentality of the next project. Yeah, I don't know about that. Now we're getting a sense here. A little on the lazy side, you have a job

where you just say thank you to people who give you money. We ask what you do, You're a little confusing. You're a throne. Yes. But. You know me super well already. We're liking it, Jennifer. What's the issue today?

Take over. All right. So my parents have been married for 32 years, four kids, relatively good life. And a year ago on Easter, they decided to tell us they're getting divorced. After 32 years. There's no cheating. Yeah. Like they're high school sweethearts also. So they were married for 32 years, but they've been together like way longer. Okay.

So no cheating, no affair, anything like that. But it's weird because they still hang out all the time, like multiple times a week. I asked my mom what she was doing and she's going in the movies with my dad. But then they do things where they like invite all their kids to something and don't invite the other one like there's a weird rivalry going on but they have Jennifer one second Zach's got to jump in is your last name Affleck my dad's also dating this pop star she's from the still from the block, but she's changed a lot, but she's the same girl I mean, I don't think she's changed but she's still there like this people people in the public things

She changed but the neighborhood still know her she's the same. She's always been so Alright Jennifer, so keep going so mom and dad divorced after 32 years, they're still hanging out a lot. Sometimes they invite the other, sometimes they don't, awkward for the kids. Yeah, getting weird. So basically I'm wondering how I can parent trap them because I feel like they just made a choice and they're too stubborn to change their mind.

They're parent trapping themselves, just so you know. And they only hang out together. I mean, yeah, but then they they want to like have Christmas separately Like it means I mean, I think they're pitching the soft divorce They're like, yeah, I don't want to get too clinical with what I think is going on. Yeah, I Have a theory Well, so hold on so Jennifer before we get to it. So, mom and dad have been together since high school.

They haven't cheated, which means, and you called in so we gotta be real. Mom and dad probably haven't had strange with anybody else but each other. Correct. Okay, so that's part of it. That doesn't mean they don't love each other and still like each other, but one of them was like, no other dicks ever. I think we know which one based on that. No, we don't. We don't, Tare.

We don't. To be fair, we don't. Especially with the weird voice I chose to do. Yeah. So one of the reasons they're probably still hanging out is they probably still really like each other. That's fair. And so you're then saying, the call in today,

your specific question is, how do I pair, and guys, Zach, you know the show, it's not our job to judge Jennifer, it's our job to help with her call. Absolutely. We may judge her. We're allowed to judge as friends. But our job is not.

In the end, we want Jennifer to go, I'm gonna take the third piece of advice and that's how I think we're gonna help. So Jennifer, you really want deep down, if we come up with a plan, you're gonna try to bring mom and dad back together. Forget this stupid old divorce. We're a family.

Let's finish what we started. Yeah, definitely. Okay, then before we do anything, Zach, just speak a little bit. Where you at, man? How would you feel if they opened their relationship? I would not want to know about it, but they could. But that's the right question because-

I think that's what they did. What's that? I think that's what they did. But then why the right question because I think if you don't they did What's that? I think that's what they did. But then why the divorce maybe they don't know that that's an option I don't think they know that together for 32 years. They might not even have heard of that. I think you're right Jennifer when we're going in this zone, what do you think? How do you feel about that? I'm comfortable with this. Okay. Now, question for you, Jennifer. Let's be honest, your parents are never gonna listen to this show.

Why do you think they split? I think that one of them, I don't know if it's important, which one, was just thinking that they needed a change and they picked a drastic drastic change in my opinion Do you have any idea which one of them would have done that? I'm gonna say my mother. Oh Man, I was gonna guess the dad Yeah, he like still thinks they're getting back together

Heartbreaking. Okay, so he's on your team. Yes. He's on my side. Yes, so this might change the direction we were going. Yeah But it might not because less of a parent trap and it's more of a mom trap Yeah, that's it. You're totally right. It's a Trap which I think is it that's helpful. It is helpful Yes, logistically that is a better zone to start off from because we can have someone on the inside Yes, I think that's exactly yeah, or we might need to keep dad a little bit in the dark But maybe but I'm open to any pitch on that but question for you on this Jennifer in terms of mom Mm-hmm, just stream the conscious who knows this all could be wrong

But what are three guesses of why she wanted something different in her life? Did mom start going to the gym? Did mom get a health scare? Is there a new pool boy? What happened that started this? There's always, in every great breakup, everyone pretends there was not a thing. They're like, it's nothing, it's just I changed.

And then you're like, who's your roommate? Yeah. He happens to be Brazilian and he's six foot four. You're like give me a fucking break. He's so handsome Weeks after the breakup. No, it didn't I just For an exchange student mom, he's so handsome and then dad looks like a sack of shit So what are what are three guesses for you Jennifer of what started this? I would say one is that all her kids had officially moved out of her house. Devastating. Two is that there was a health scare. Okay, what was the health scare? It was like a mental health thing for mom.

So for mom. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. And then let me think about a third. She went back to working with my brother. Crazy.

Wow. Um, I was a wild one. How would that impact it? Just the third thing. Is your brother, is he a player? Is he out there dating a lot? Is he talking up a single lifestyle? Is my brother dating a lot?

Yeah, like why would that make her think, oh, I want to get out there and change it up? I don't know, I just feel like she's back in a, I guess because he is looking for a partner and maybe him talking to her about that is like. She probably saw a dating app and she was like, what are you doing? Yeah.

That's crazy. Okay, so we're getting a sense here, Jennifer. So mom's kids are gone, she had a little mental health scare, she's working with a guy on the scene, and then how did she tell dad what happened? I don't really know, like they kind of, the way it was put said to me is that they decided on it mutually,

but then, you know, I'm talking to my dad and he's like, that's not really mutual. And then they just told us, we're like, I'm talking my dad and he's like it's not really mutual and then they just told us we're like I'm opening my Easter basket and they're like oh and we're getting divorced only together sorry time they don't know but they did when they told me hold on hold on hold on we're all that's important to the story but if I may take an off-ramp real quick Jennifer you're 25 and you're still getting an Easter basket I had a question about that as well What do we get yeah, I'm a 25 year old dude

Candy I think everyone deserves an Easter. I'm with Jennifer. I wish She never gave you what I got callin She never did it. She never did it. Yeah, she never gave you one. I got Colin in these two grass-crafting. When's the last time you guys did an Easter egg hunt? I mean, it's thrilling. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer.

It's thrilling. We are. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. I like Jennifer. The whole optics of this call just changed for me. Yeah, I agree. Merritt Trap now seems a little weirder. So, really quick, Zach, before we start diving in,

where are you at a little bit? But let's check in with that. I have a pitch right away. Ooh. Shall we go? How old is the youngest sibling? 22. 22, okay, so it's gonna be a little bit of a long walk.

I think you need to tell mom that you want a younger sibling. Mom gets pregnant. Mom has a kid. It doesn't matter if it's with dad or not. That doesn't matter for this bitch. Then that allows dad to come in and miss his doubt fire. But you need a young kid to be able to miss his doubt fire. Jennifer, biologically, how old is Mom?

My worry here is that we're gonna go on an egg hunt of a different variety with Mom's age and not find anything. Mom is 59. Yeah. Yeah, it's so beautiful. But hold on, Zach. Zach, keep letting it cook a little bit.

Where are you at here, Big Daddy? You were onto something. What are you thinking? That doesn't impact me, because we can adopt this kid. That's fine. We just need a young kid that needs a nanny in the home. So then keep going.

How do we, okay, let me push something on you, Zach. Just because I want to hear this out. So Jennifer, do you have any nieces or nephews? I do. I have, well, I guess they're not my, they're my cousin's kids, but I have little children around us. Any little kids that are around,

because part of the thing you said, which I think Zach is right on, is the empty nest thing. Yes. Any of those little kids that are around your mom and dad that could help us with this? Yeah, there's two. Okay, so Zach, keep going a little bit with what you're going, we do have kids,

we don't need to adopt them. But maybe there's a real play here. Now I know it sounds like a joke, but maybe there's a play that mom can remember how great of a dad dad was. Yeah, now it wasn't really a joke because it worked in the movie. I think it's basically exactly the situation you're describing.

Mom and dad grew apart, they split up. Dad comes back in. I guess he doesn't have to be undercover. He could just be showing he's a good dad. I think it works better if he is full on Mrs. Doubtfiring. Some type of different nationality maybe, maybe we don't go British this time, we go Spanish, we go Portuguese,

something in the safe part of Europe. I'm sending you a read to Doubtfire. Yeah, yeah. And then he gets in there, he gets fresh eyes. Hey, Jennifer, just for a second before we go down this road, and I want you to really think here, because what we're then doing is this is something new,

your mom's having a bit of a midlife crisis, right? She's getting really scared. The end is coming close to her and she's getting spooked. Her brain's playing tricks on her, but we all know it's happened. Something to always. It's gonna be fine, Jennifer. She's gonna be fine.

All of a sudden there's a little kid around, and then all of a sudden her husband shows up as a Portuguese nanny. I think there is a real way that we could mom trap her where she goes like, what are you doing Carl? And Carl goes, me? Carl? No! Impossible! It's so shocking it just resets her perspective. So you know what this makes me think of, Jennifer? You know that song from the 70s,

If You Like Pina Coladas? Oh yeah. And in the end, they both fucking do this crazy thing and where do they end up in a goddamn bar facing each other? Yeah, I thought of that. I never followed the plot of the Pina Colada song. The whole thing is, I don't like this, I don't like this, I'm tired of this old lady with me.

I gotta go out there and find somebody and then she writes a little ad and some lady goes, I hate yoga, I love getting stuck in the rain. I like drinking champagne at midnight, all this madness. They go to a bar and guess who he's sitting across from? Wow, his wife? His old lady. His old, wow. And guess what they do?

Awkward too. They know. They drink pina coladas? They go right into let's remember to have fun. And he's dressed as an older Portuguese woman. That's right, that's absolutely right. And she goes, it's not as sexual, but it is sweet. And then he robs it by going, it is as sexual.

And she goes, I still want a divorce. Are you talking about the song? Are you pitching addendums on the song? I feel like that's not in the song. What I'm pitching now, Jennifer, is we do a Mrs. Doubtfire with your dad so that your mom's midlife crisis ends and she's staring at your dad and goes,

let's get the team back together. Well, Jennifer, I think that's perfect. Wait, hold on, so you think that's perfect? Do they have a sense of humor? Like is that something you're, would your dad be up for doing something silly like that? Cause that is something that I would,

if this was my parents, I would actually pitch this to my dad for real. Yeah, what would happen with your dad, Zach? What would happen? I think he would honestly maybe do it What kind of is your dad kind of straight-laced Jennifer, what would you say is he a fun guy? He's a fun guy like Mrs. Dalfire is one of his favorite movies. I do think I Suggested this he would actually be down. Okay, so yeah walk us through the

plot points of this idea Like how are we starting this Jake? We're starting before before before we get there, but that's the right question that is gonna be a ZAC question, okay But before we get it Jennifer Because if this is a real road, we might go down. This is a wild real road wild and So Jennifer, can we just hear you talk for a little bit before we go deep on this pitch? About everything you're feeling where you're at. What are you thinking about the idea of mrs. Doubtfire in your mom?

Title I love this is not fire my mom. I think my dad is down and dressed up and like play this character. I think the hardest part for us is gonna be both the kids and the scenario. Yes, the logic. Wouldn't necessarily need a nanny, so like he could do it, but I like where we're going with like seeing him

around them because we do family things. Hold on, hold on, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. We found this about you. What do you like to still do on Easter? Be baby. You need Mrs. Doubtfire and your sister, not the nieces and nephews. Garrett, they're already pointing it out.

You still like your mom and dad. At 25, you're still wet behind your ears. You guys are still kind of kids. You're the little kids in Mrs. Townfire. You're just in your 20s. So it's weird. So you're getting the original band back together. So mom goes, oh my God, I loved raising these kids.

She's an empty nester. Get the nest back. Baby birds back in the goddamn nest. Get the nest back. As a dad of 11 year old i'm gonna start crying i do think there's something very sweet about the idea of doing this

because obviously it's like a little silly but it is a meaningful gesture in the sense that it ties in thematically with the movie it's it's like a little silly but it is a meaningful gesture in the sense that it ties in thematically with the movie Yeah, it's basically saying like hey, let's run this back. I want to try this again To dress up it's also yeah, the thrust of it is like if the point of it is and I'll be honest I'm I can't believe we're this deep into this but and then we might pull this off I think it's going down. I do too what we can do is we can how whatever the Metro however we like come up with that plan like if it was like

your mom's hanging out and be like Even if it was like oh I have someone coming over to watch me for a little while just because I needed I wanted a little help around The house like ask your mom to be there be like come over have a glass of wine Oh, I have a new housekeeper coming over. She's just gonna start home I got that's right week And then you have that you have Carl come over in whatever ensemble it the truth is it doesn't even need to be that good Because this is just going to be a sweet although Gareth no

I think we I think all of that is right, but I think it's gonna be very good. We can't get Harvey Fierstein to do a fake face. We might be able to, god damn it. Jake, I mean, we're talking, I guess San Diego. So Zach, will you walk us through a pitch of how you see this happening? And Jennifer, you're the only one interrupting on this,

so will you guys just take it away for a second? Jennifer, I wanna hear your thoughts too as you're kinda, as it's building. Okay. I think that's exactly it. I think you say to your mom, you know, can you come over and hang out with me, whatever that would be for you,

if it's watch a movie, et cetera. You set up that you have a new housekeeper coming over and then boom, your dad walks in the door. He's doing the voice, he's doing the big thing. Maybe you even turn on Mrs. Doubtfire beforehand to kind of like prime the pumps, to let, you know, subconsciously let the magic work on your mom and then you just,

you let dad take it from there. See, close. So you have him like cook something or clean something? Yes. Or, he needs to do something, otherwise we'll all just be standing there. It'll be funny. But then we're stuck.

Great, Jennifer, now I think you're totally right. Now, will you do a second Jennifer and pitch, and you know your family, you know the four, can you pitch potentially how the Mrs. Doubtfire could actually work with your dad and then we could pitch on your pitch? I think he, like full wig, I'm thinking like a, what's it, like a midi length dress. I wonder if he would do that. He might. and then I think we need to put makeup on him So I would need to see him before do some makeup and then I think I would have to tell her like I have someone

Coming to fix something. She won't believe I have a housekeeper but if I tell her like oh someone's coming to like fix the light and then it's him I And then also he has to do he likes to accent for Mrs. Doubtfire. I don't know if he could do it now. Even if it's bad, he just has to go for it. Yeah. He just has to go for it. Because what we're basically- He's not going to think it's Mrs. Doubtfire.

Yeah, but you never know, Gareth. So does Jennifer's, Jennifer, does your mom know the movie too? She knows it, but not the way he does. Okay, do you think a sweet gesture will wake your mom up from this and go, I'm turning 60, I'm a little afraid. I love this guy.

Maybe we just need to have a real conversation about going with like opening up or doing what we do, but we are partners in this game and we are gonna grow all together. Do you think deep down something like that could wake your mom up to say, I'm not restarting over? What's your real gut feeling, Jennifer? Because what we don't want is just,

your dad shows up in a dress, your mom goes, this is weird, and you go, I was on a podcast. And then your mom goes, okay, and your dad goes like, shall I do the dishes? Like look, it's fun. Changing in the bathroom. And then he goes like, honey, it was me all along. And she's like, you're a fucking goofball, dude. Yeah.

Right, so that, what we're looking for, if this happens, Jennifer, who knows? We're just doing a podcast from our homes right now. We're goddamn zooming it. But if we could actually bring your parents back together with Zach's Mrs. Doubtfire pitch, we've achieved something in the world of podcasts, everybody. Right?

Definitely. No, I think it could actually work. If you call back and go, my parents are happily back together because my dad, Mrs. Doubtfire, my mom, guys, we're in a different zone, and Jennifer, you know it too. So we now have to really work together

to figure out how mom can come back to dad because of a doubtfire. So what is your mom, in your real opinion, what is she missing from your dad? They used to do a lot of fun things together. I think she misses like going out to dinner. They used to go out dancing. That's also important.

My dad's a good dancer and he loves to dance. So now we're talking. So Mrs. Doubtfire needs to be a dancer. Keep going. Oh, yes. And yeah, no, she loves to dance and she never gets to dance anymore. She's quite introverted. She doesn't really go out and do stuff by herself.

I think she just really misses having someone to go do stuff with. And why did dad stop doing this, Jennifer? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. That's a good question. He got older, he got tired. It could be interesting to, because if you say like, used to cook,

okay, here's a pitch on this. Okay, I got one too. What if you say like, used to cook... Okay, here's a pitch on this. What if... What if you say this. What if you say to your mom, I want to have a girl's night. I want you to come over. I've hired a chef who she's going to come over and prepare dinner for us. This is

our Mrs. Doubtfire. We almost tried to sneak your chef doubtfire into the house with ingredients. So your dad is going to cook dinner. And then when your dad finishes cooking dinner, he brings it in, sets it down. And your mom probably is suspect at this point, but we kind of hide mom dad in the kitchen for a little while. And when he sets it down, it's actually dinner for the two of them. And he's cooking and then you put on some music after dinner and they have a dance there. Oh!

I got a pitch. I like the ending. That's very sweet. I got a pitch. All right. Zach, you got one? No, that's very sweet. I love that.

Okay. I got a pitch. You tell your mom you just found a new dance instructor who's great, and you paid for her to get a free lesson. And it's like whatever kind of dance she liked the most, if it's salsa, if it's whatever. And she's like, what? And you go, mom, I know you used to like to do this stuff with dad.

You're out there again. And I know that like dad stopped doing this fun, spontaneous stuff. So you're looking for a new dance partner, someone who's gonna, and like, you know, we don't want you guys splitting up, but we love you both. And so I found somebody who's going to give you, do all the stuff you want.

His name is Mario, he's from Portugal. He is, and she's like, oh, how old is he? Your dad's age. What does he do similar to what your dad does? He also has four kids. We song them. Oh, he's perfect. He's going through divorce too

from a woman right around your age. He's just getting out there. He works with his son. And so she's like, oh. Then when Mario gets to the door, it's your dad in a full Portuguese dance outfit with an accent. A full makeup outfit.

And she goes, what are you doing? And he goes, do not talk to me like you know me. I am not your boring old sack of potato husband. I am Mario. And you go, and you all the kids all go like, Mario, thank you for coming. And she goes, this is insane. And right then there's music and they go out on a date. That's another.

So are all of my siblings there? It's that Jennifer, that's up to you. Probably just you in case it goes sideways. Yeah, it can be scary. Yes, so. I love that because I feel like she would believe that. The setup. The yes, yes, that setup is believable. Yes, so I love that because I feel like she would believe that the setup But yes, yes, not set up being is believable and would she be charmed by the reveal or would she be like

Annoyed and be like I'm out. I'm going home That's where it really is. It's 50-50 for me. I could see her doing either Same that's why it's a dangerous game. That's why we're playing Russian roulette You guys all saw the deer hunter, correct? Yes You gotta pull the trigger and then Jennifer where you at I Love it. I think it's realistic that I could do it. I think it's what we said before like she could react Either way and we might have to do a follow-up to figure out how she reacts either way. And we might have to do a follow up to figure out how she reacts.

But where would you, in terms of this idea in this call, Jennifer, and I don't think we're at that point, but we might be. And if it doesn't work after I ask this question, then we'll go back to pitching, but what are you gonna do? I think I could get him to dress up and show up at the door and give her a dance lesson or he could take her on a date to go dancing

and he could miss the South Fire mom trap my mom. Question for you really, yeah, go ahead. No, you go. I'm thinking about his outfit. I mean, I think I'll get him to wear whatever. We just need to figure out what it really is. Question for you really fast on this. Would you ever text your dad right now?

Would you ever miss his doubt fire mom? Oh, a thousand percent I would text him now. Okay, will you text him right now? Yeah. I just wanna, if we get lucky and he writes back. He's always on his phone. So we should get like Okay, we might have to just get dad on at some point. Yeah. Oh He was like, but we got to see first. So what did you tell us what the text you're writing? I

Said would you ever miss his doubt by your mom? No other setup You know what we could do if we wanted, Jake? What we could do is, we can see how he responds to this. While we take another call with Zach, we could have them set up the call with Dad, and we could end after this with maybe a five to 10 with Dad with you, me, and Zach, Jennifer, and Dad,

and try to pitch this a little bit in his direction. Is that possible? He responded. He responded responded already Jesus Christ. Hey Nat Attack, I'm sorry Natalie. Yes, Natalie's gonna call the show real soon about how to get rid of her nickname. By the way, you did not respond to Natalie, but you seem to get excited about Nat Attack. Is that the wrong read? Yes, okay. It? Yes. Okay. It's incorrect.

Okay, so Natalie, will you see if we can get dad on and do Gareth kind of plan? Is that possible? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that cool, Jennifer? Yeah, yeah. Will you, Nat Attack, will you set up this call and then we can start the next one?

Mm-hmm, Yeah, thanks bud Thank you. All right, Jennifer. We'll talk to you and your dad really soon Okay, normal day. Thank you. This is gonna work. Okay. Talk to you soon. Bye. All right This is gonna work. Wow. There we go. That's a pin put in her incredible incredible By the way, if it works, can you imagine the how funny the photos are gonna be? It will without question, I think, be our best guest first pitch ever. Oh my gosh, yes, for sure. By the way, when he started, I thought, not a chance.

I was like, this is a good joke, we're going to move on when shoot goes. I think this could work, I thought. It's his favorite movie. Yeah, that's special. That's special. If we pull off a Mrs. Doubtfire reunion of a 59-year-old and probably a 62-year-old guy, this show's in his own, I don't know what we're doing anymore. If all of a sudden it works?

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comfort from the outside in oh Hello there Hey, where who you running from You know work, okay, we all are anyways Hey, who are you running from? Um, you know, work. Okay. We all are in many ways. Taking a little break. Alright.

Well, what do you do for work? Are you able to talk? It sounds like you're in duress. Oh yeah. No I am. I'm just, that waiting music was making me nervous. We didn't honestly know we had waiting music until just now. Well, welcome to We're Here to Help.

You've got Jake, you've got me, and you've got guest helper. We're still sticking with that. The great Zach Cherry is joining us. So you've got three great minds on this one. Thank goodness. I agree. This is, I'll tell you, if Zach's got a hell of a track record so far on this

Let's do this for a second Zach. You know the show is there any questions you'd like to ask for her? Yeah, let's hear name age where you're calling from Going base. Oh, my name is gonna be Patty J Patty J is your made-up name. Yeah, it's very strange. Okay. It's my nickname for my alter ego. Sure, sure, sure, we'll get into all that. Yes. It's a nickname for your alter ego. It's not the name of your alter ego. It's a deep cut.

No. Okay. Yes. I am 22, calling from South Carolina. Okay. And then Zach, any specific question to get to know Patty J a little bit more that you could think of it could be literally anything

what uh Name three things you can see right now Bench a Bush and a tree. Oh, I know So Patty J you're seeing a bench a bush in a tree. Oh, I need it. Title. Mm-hmm. So, Patty J, you're seeing a bench, a bush, and a tree. 22 South Carolina. We all are. By the way, merch.

A bench, a bush, and a tree. A bench, a bush, and a tree. Just said, so on benches. So, Patty J, what do we got today? What's going on? Okay, so my issue It's causing quite the kerfuffle in my home. I can't stop drunk eating my roommates. Oh Wow, this is so relatable

It is yeah. Yeah, I used to have this problem. Oh, yeah use the I agree. Absolutely. So you Get drunk and you eat your roommate's food. Only when I come home from going out. Yeah, drunk. Yeah, yeah, we know what drunk is, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Okay, okay. Are we talking snacks?

Are we talking like whole meals that they've made and is in the fridge? What kind of food are you eating? It's mostly snacks. Okay. So it started with cheese balls. It always does. And then progressed a little bit.

To what? Where are we at now? What do you mean progressed? It was like a little bit of my roommate's burrito. That is honest to God too far. That's not snacks. No, now if somebody, if I have a roommate that eats some of the chips I have, I'm like, come on, if you're eating a half-eaten burrito that I have saved for myself, what's happening?

It was just a little bit. It was just a little bit. But by the way, you're taking bites of a burrito. That's worse. Let's remember though, we're not, we're talking to Patty J. She's sober, she's smart. I know, but this is triggering. She's sober, she's smart. Oh, I hear what you're saying. But drug Patty J? Is a different Patty J. We don't get're talking to Patty J. She's I know this is triggered. This is sober. She's smart I know I hear you're saying is a different we don't have to talk to her. Yes You're not gonna be on this call. She might How's your guy? You got any Jägermeister? Yeah, so you might get a hammered

Let me just ask you this question very quickly and then if there's more setup you can get into it How angry on a scale of 1 to ten is your roommate about this behavior? Because I've experienced moderate frustration to get out. Yeah. So I lost access to the frying pan. They are hidden somewhere in the house. Wow. And the Brita and the ice maker is now relocated.

Let's talk for a second here, Patty. What's your roommate situation? Who you living with? How many people? So I live with two girls who I met on the internet. So not friends. No. You're friends. No. You're weird.

I know. You're drunk. You're eating a stranger's burrito when you're drunk. You're weird. Nibbling. No, Zach, no way. Just nibbling. By the way, it's not nibble.

I thought you were supposed to say here these were old friends. I've had random stranger roommates. If a random stranger roommate ate half of my sandwich, we're in a world of trouble. Well, we were friends. What good are you nibbling at yours? Oh, you are friends, okay. But you met on the internet.

Yes. Did you meet? And we were friends first. Okay, so you met on the internet and then moved in together. You didn't just like find them as roommates on the internet. Okay, that's very different. Okay, so you met on the internet and then moved in together you didn't just like find them okay? That's very different. Okay, never mind

Okay, and then so you guys are all in college 22 or right out of college right in that zone We're about right out of college okay, and you're all living together and kind of partying a little bit in South Carolina having some fun and Is anybody doing the kind of jobs they're gonna do for their whole life? Are you guys doing more jobs where it's kind of like a couple of fun years together in this situation? I am more so working, like I work in a hospital.

So that's something I kind of wanna progress. Yeah, okay. But then they're still kind of figuring it out as they go. You know? That's a surprise. So you're the most serious. Well, they're busy shopping.

They don't have time to get their lives on track. They're replacing food. And so, and Patty, how often you drinking here, big dog? Honestly, with my work schedule, like once or twice a month. Oh, okay. So not very often you let it rip, but when you let it rip, do you become Patty J? I do.

That's a problem. Oh, that's the answer. So the real lady, we don't know. Patricia. Patricia. Yeah. Patricia has a job. But when Patricia drinks, you become Patty J.

And can I try to fill out the profile a little here? Patricia's healthy, Patricia tries to eat well. Works at a goddamn hospital. Patricia's having salads, Patricia's really trying to just keep it all pretty good to go. And then Patty J is a fucking wolf. Merida from the grave.

Cheese ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're essentially talking, you're talking to three Patty J's right now. Yeah. Yeah. Patty J's is 24-7. We built life on being Patty J's, yes.

So you know, the connecting tissue of trying to make your life into Hollyweird is not what people think. It is not for the attention. It's not for the awards. It's not for the award. Just over the money It's to be lifelong Patty J's. Yes, truly. It's a question for you, so You get drunk is your question. When is that truck gonna stop backing up the cheese next to it?

Trying to get away from it. Go ahead. Sorry so you get drunk and turn into Patty J and eat all their food and you, the question is, is how do I stop? I've worked on stopping and I've been pretty good about it, but it's more so how to try to make amends. So it's not super awkward up until our lease ends. Okay, that's a very clear question.

Great job, Patty. So the question is, so Zach, what are you thinking? You haven't been talking that much. Yeah, did we ever get clarity on how mad the roommates are about this? Because I do need to hear a little bit about what has their response been. And you said until your lease ends,

so does it sound like at the end of the lease you're going your separate ways? This is not going to be a continuing roommate situationship No, I fear that that bridge has burned because of Patty J Yeah, wow Patty J. Oh, okay. I know I know Hey, Patty, can you tell us a little bit about Patty J?

She has dance moves that no one has ever seen before and nobody should see honestly She drinks a lot of tequila shot If that makes any sense And she gets hungry and what's Patty J's behavior when she comes home? What's her volume? What does Patty J do when she gets home from the club? Has Patty J ever been confronted in the moment

or is this a discovery after the fact? Yes. After the fact. Do you remember Patty J eating the burritos? Yes. Okay, so while Patty's eating them, you're in there, you're just going, Patty's a wild animal, man.

You're not Black Pound. You're seeing Patty and you're going like, Patty's a wild dog, let Patty cook. Okay, so have you? Have you ever? Jesus. That drunk hunger though is something fierce. It really is.

It's a, you'll burn a bridge for a burrito when you're drunk. So has, have your roommates ever confronted Patty while Patty was hungry? And if so, what happened? No, they never have. It's always been in the morning, a text, girl, why did you eat my burrito? What do you write back?

I said, I'm so sorry. I, it was not, it was, I pretty much will say it's not me. It was Patty. And what do they say? I don't think they appreciate that. Okay. They will, they'll Venmo request't think they appreciate that. Okay. They will Venmo request me for their burrito. Fair.

And do you pay it? Yeah. I'm not trying to start being a cure. I understand. Are you more financially stable than the other two? You have your hospital job, they're still kind of figuring it out? I think we're all not super financially stable. Okay, okay.

Okay, so you know what? I will say to not Patty J, because I'm not talking to Patty J. So I'm talking, this call has been Patricia. Yeah. And so great set of Patricia, very clear. Your question was just to remind myself and the team, will you say it again?

Yeah, just how to make amends. Make it so I can use a frying pan in the house and it's not hidden. Okay, I got my first pitch. Same, go. You go first. Zach, you go first. I need to hear a little more.

Okay. Okay, Gareth, you go first. Well, I think we gotta do a two pronger here. The base coat is that when we know, cause it's not like Patty J just emerges out of nowhere. She's a scheduled arrival. So when we know that Patty J is gonna be in the house, we need to buffer the roommate snacks.

We need to buy extra snacks for Patty J. You kinda have to shake yourself out of this belief that you can control Patty J. You're only doing it once to twice a month. I would get some snack mix, I would get a burrito, I would prep yourself for the arrival of Patty J. She's gonna do what she's gonna do, she's not gonna listen to reason.

I'm gonna pitch on that pitch, because I'm close but a little different. Well I have a second part for the amends, but go ahead. You go ahead then. Well, my amends pitch is that we need to put together like a basket with a bunch of snacks and like tortillas and things like that and a nice card that's written from Patty J.

Who expresses that she's a boar, a wild animal, and when she comes home, there's nothing that stands in her way and she's sorry.ar, a wild animal, and when she comes home, there's nothing that stands in her way, and she's sorry. I have a whole new pitch. How much longer are you gonna be living there? Four more months. Can you make an agreement that you're not gonna get drunk

and come home in the next four months? I could try. Here's what I want to do. But it might be kind of hard. But here's what I want to do. I want you guys, I want you to tell your roommates that Patty J was just murdered. Okay. And go like, guys, I have really sad news.

As you guys know, I'm great. But twice a month, this woman comes here, Patty J, and she's the one who eats your burritos. She eats your cheese balls. Here's the reality. It's not me, it's Patty J. And I just got word she was murdered in Cuba. And they go, what?

And I go, yeah, she's not coming back. And then if it comes back and you do get drunk, then they're also dealing with Patty J, but it's not coming back. And then if it comes back and you do get drunk, then they're also dealing with Patty J. But it's not you, it's Patty J. And then the ghost of Patty J. Oh my God. Jesus Christ, I can't believe we have our follow-up. They go, did you?

By the way, Patty, you're totally right. They go, girl, did you eat my burrito? You write, what? Of course not, Patty J's dead. Totally right. They say girl. Did you eat my burrito you right what? Patty J's dead. Oh If you've got something that go ahead I have another hat on your pitch Jake I was gonna say I like the idea of leaning into the distinction between Patricia and Patty J Yes, one other angle is maybe you get even angrier at Patty J. Just go in there. just going there, yes. You're like, I fucking hate Patty J, she's ruining my fucking life.

Like, I need your help, we're in this together, the three of us against this piece of shit. And you're like, you bring them in, and whether or not it works, it will probably confuse them to the point where they're no longer mad at you, they're now maybe scared of you. It becomes a game and you go,

guys, we have an issue on our hands and we have to work together. And you put, like, if you're going out drinking, you put a sign up like wanted Patty J, Yes. thief of burritos, put a lock on the fridge, so you go, guys, we all know it only happens twice a month,

but I hate Patty. We all hate Patty. We need to work together to keep Patty out of the goddamn fridge, and where she belongs, in a hotel. That's interesting, too. Or just a sleep. Or a sleep, or some random person's house.

She doesn't belong here. You're living in a dream world, Patricia. Yes. She didn't go to bed. I've got a pitch that maybe combines your two ideas. What if we, one night when you know they're coming home, you prep the place and you hold the funeral for Patty J. And you get some really nice food, you treat, but we all get to sit there and we all get to kind of briefly eulogize her before we have cheese balls and burritos

and some of Patty's favorite foods that we know the roommates also enjoy. And you kind of humanize her, but then it's kind of an event you guys can share together, so it's sort of hatchet burying a little bit. I got a pitch on that pitch too, but I think we're getting really close to nailing this one. So, cause problem with and it was mine to the kill her or the funeral is that we all know Patty's gonna eat Everything she sees when she gets home

But to your point Jake if we keep her out of the house for yes, but we're not gonna but I made a mistake there because she's 22. I like Patricia even said that was possible. gonna, but that's not a reality. I made a mistake there, because she's 22. I like that Patricia even said that was possible. Yeah, but I also really loved what Zach was saying of you also hate Patty J. Here's what I would pitch to you. When you're gonna go out drinking, because let's be honest, you know what you're gonna do. You know this is a night you're going out.

You tell them your friend Patty J is gonna spend the night, but Patty J is a nightmare. So you need to prepare for Patty J. So on the kitchen table, get like a corned beef sandwich, get some like weird mix next to it. And you leave out Patty J's dinner as if Patty J was like an inmate getting out of jail. We have different takes.

An inmate getting out of jail and spending the night. You make sure Patty J has Patty J's food. So like guys, I recommend there's gonna be a weird two liter thing of Dr. Pepper. There's gonna be a corned beef sandwich and there's gonna be like Funyuns. Trust me, don't touch Patty J's food. She sucks.

I'm keeping her away from your stuff and I'm gonna distract her. So there's gonna be like a weird light on the kitchen table. Tomorrow morning, she will be gone, but Patty J will be here tonight. I will do everything in my power to keep her quiet and keep her at the kitchen table. But guys, if you're gonna lock up food,

tonight's the night. And so we are aware that Patty's coming and you are doing the prep work so that your friends go, my friend's really weird, but she did fix the problem. They didn't eat our food. We just had to deal with a corned beef sandwich on the kitchen table all night. Your food pitches are horrifyingly accurate.

I want it to be Patty J's food. So Zach, where are you at when you're hearing this before we get to you, Patty? I think that's fantastic. I think it's hard boiled eggs left out loose. I think it's big pile of sauerkraut. I think this is the kind of stuff that Patty Jay is ready to do.

Yes, you make a gross mix and surprise Patty. Don't go too gross though. I agree, because then you'll eat a burrito. You're totaled out. Patty could turn to the others. Patty will go, fuck this. I'm not then you eat a burrito your total had it could turn to the other you'll go fuck this Yes, I'm not eating sauerkraut and Funyuns. I'm eating that burrito dude and cheese ball I do have a question. Do your roommates ever go out? Do they have their own Patty J's whoever make an appearance? They don't they do go out, but they don't become

They don't, they do go out. But they don't become Patty. But they don't, they don't. Gotcha. They're not like you, they're not like us. Yeah. So they have control. So Patty, where are you kinda at? So I'm thinking that having a nice spread of a little less disturbing food than.

But food you know Patty would like. Sure. Oh, by the way, what about a welcome home? What if you do it lovingly to Patty? You put a banner that says like, welcome back, thanks for the visit. Got your favorite food. Yeah.

And when Patty comes to visit, she brings food for the roommates as well. That's great. I was gonna suggest a slight alternate is, maybe you give them the opportunity to eat some of your food in a wink wink way. So you buy some stuff that they like, you label it like, this is mine, do not eat.

And kind of like present it to them as like, oh, hey, you better not eat this. Remember what happened when I ate your stuff, I lost frying pan privilege. And then you let them kind of have that little, they get a win over you by eating a little bit of your food. There's another move on that, Patty,

where you turn this into a celebration of your dear friend Patty. And when she comes, because it's not a lot, and it's happening less as you're getting older, but when Patty comes, you're buying a lot of food. The food's for everybody. I think that's exactly right. So you have Oreos, you have all this stuff.

You don't get one burrito, get three burritos. If you turn Patty J coming to town into a good thing, that flips it on its head. So when Patty comes to town, there's more food. It's better. And they go, all of a sudden, my roommate Patricia got six burritos, because she doesn't know how much Patty's gonna eat.

But the reality is Patty only eats one and a half. That you're gonna come home from a shift and they're gonna like leave a bottle of tequila on the table and be like, can Patty come to play? You know what, that is, by the way, Gareth, that's the goal. We need to make everybody like Patty because when Patty comes to town,

you, Patricia, make Patty a fucking dream visitor. There is everybody's favorite snacks on the table and you're just setting up and you know how you pay for it? At the end of the night when you want one more round of shots, don't get them. Mm-hmm. Or just have to buy a round.. That one shell you buy around, or like literally save one cost where you go,

I'm not gonna buy this round for these four girls and I. But Jake, I think that's great, and in theory that's great, but we also have to remember that Patty J knows one law, and that's Patty J Law. I agree with you. It's hard to logic with Patty, but that's why we're doing Logic with Patricia.

We're stacking the deck, I agree. There's a lot of good. So Patty you got a lot of interesting pitches here Will you tell us what you're gonna do I? Do you think we have a winner I as a person I love sharing So even if I did eat my food that wouldn't bother me that would almost like oh that means that we're close Even if I did eat my food, that wouldn't bother me. That would almost be like, oh, that means that we're close. Anywho, I think that when Patricia comes, when Patty comes to town, you should bring a lot of food.

Yes. And just leave it and pray. But is Patricia getting it or is Patty getting it? I think it has to be Patty. It's hard. That's dangerous. I think it has to be Patty. It can't be Patty. Patricia, Patricia, what? I'm sure it has to be Patty. You can't be getting them while you're tequila drunk. No. They it after the patty. Patricia, Patricia, what? I drink it after the patty.

You can't be getting them while you're tequila drunk. They're like the worst decisions and then you'll eat it all. Patricia prepares for patty. Yes. Yes, yes. But do you mean yes or are you thinking Patty's got it? Well, it would definitely have to be a pre-in the morning. Yes, from Patricia. Yes. In the morning.

From Patricia. Sure. Yes. Okay. But you are setting up... Go ahead, Zach. Is that reasonable or does Patty... Do you know when Patty's coming to town or does Patty just show up uninvited?

Sometimes I know. I can prepare since I don't go out that much. Sometimes I know. This is the greatest... This is such a 22 year old answer. So great. I actually can get, I get this now. I do too. I'm letting Patty out tonight,

I'm gonna have a god damn blast. But now guess what, at 22, Patricia, you just have to prepare others for Patty. So you have a responsibility to take care of Patty. And this is an easy fix with these roommates. They're not really mad at you. It's just a little much. So you just go a little much in the other direction

and you have four months to right this wrong and it's gonna end very positive. And I definitely think before you go out, put like a spread on the table that is for everybody and all you ask is leave Patti enough to do what Patti does. Enough, because if you don't, she's coming after you and we all know this bitch. Yes, they.

Now, I got a question for you now for our show. First of all, are you gonna do this? I want to, yeah. Want to? It's not an easy enough fix. Yeah, it just. I will. Okay, now we're talking. Oh, that's better. When is the next Yeah, it just. I will. Okay, now we're talking. Oh, that's better.

When is the next time, and you know the answer to this, when is the next time Patty's coming out? It might be on Friday. Okay, perfect. So let's lean into it for you on Friday. Will you take a photo of the spread that you lean out and send to us so we can post that along with it?

And then will you take a photo of the same spread in the morning when Patricia wakes up? Yes. I do think you need to tell your roommates that's why you're doing. I think you need to let them in on that this is, to make amends, you know you've been eating their food, you wanna get out ahead of that.

Patty J might be in town on Friday, and this is her spread, but it's for everyone. Oh, Zach, you're totally right. Patricia, would you do something for us? Will you, on your phone, make a voice note and record you telling your friends the plan of what's gonna happen with Patty J this Friday? To my roommates?

Yeah. I don't know if I could text it to them. You would rather text it? Or if we're not usually home at the same time. Oh, they're not home at the same time. You wanna just do a text? I could, yeah. Or do you want us to, all three of us right now,

leave a note and explain to them what's happening, and you could just send them this voice note so we could do it as a group. Oh my gosh, yes. Okay, let's do that. Zach, will you take the lead of this? Yeah, sure. Without preparing, we're just starting

and Patricia, now we can't use, do they know the name? Patty J, would they know? Or what names should we use here? Give us real names and we'll beep them out. Okay, my real name? Yeah, your real name. Probably yours. My real name?

Yeah. Is, my real name is. We're not beeping it out, you just been hustled. You just been here to help Gotcha get drunk Put your last name. I'm calling you parents. You've been had okay And then who is your real alter ego? My real alter ego is Trying to keep

Last name anonymous, which is also I need an hour so to sort of digest this. What just happened. So now we're gonna leave a quick, and what we're gonna do is we're gonna do a voice note and you're part of it. So maybe you start it and say hi to your roommates and say there's something I need to tell you about what's gonna happen with Friday.

Can you do that for us? Oh yeah. And then Zach, you take the lead and we'll jump in too. And then whenever you're ready. Okay, hey guys, I know I've been eating your food when I get drunk and I just wanted to apologize and make amends with you guys, so I have a couple of friends that are here to help me.

Hey, that's right, hey guys, this is Zach or as you could call me Daddy J. Nope. I Got I got a band in ship on this one keep going so we just we're here talking to you on behalf of of and of course her infamous alter ego Patricia Jones and We know she was nibbling on the burrito And we don't like that and she doesn't like that. You know we're all on the same page that wasn't that wasn't great So we have a new game plan for when Patty J comes to town, so let's tell you all about it this Friday

Gonna go out and she's gonna get drunk She's gonna get Patty Jade She's gonna get Patricia Jones, and we all know what happens when she gets Patricia Jones She comes in the house She eats your fucking burrito and your cheese balls and it pisses everybody off including and really sorry about it. Yeah, Zack What's our game plan here? So Patty J is gonna have a new modus operandi Which is she is going to provide snacks for the evening She's gonna lay out a beautiful spread

of all your favorite foods. All we know is cheese balls and burritos, I assume you eat other things, but that's a conversation between you, and your God. And that's right, and that night, on Friday when that spreads out there, you guys are allowed to eat it because guess what?

Patricia Jones is back in town. She's only gonna be around for two more times each month. So in four months, you're not gonna see her very much, but Patty J is bringing food and the food's for everyone. But just do us a favor and leave enough for Patricia because Patricia comes home drunk and needs to eat. And when she's done eating, if she's still hungry, she's gonna eat your food, which we don't want.

Am I right? Garf Man, what do you think? Yeah, I agree. It's Gareth. Yep, that's all of it, pretty much. Thank you. Good job. Yeah, nailed it. So we can send that over and then, can we do that via a text? We'll just send it to them see what their responses and then on Friday Will you set the whole thing up take a photo of it and then follow up with us and honestly this first one? Do it real well. Yes, I would stack the deck for this first one exactly. We really are making this a salve Okay, I'm I got my brain thinking I already have an idea. Okay, great. And then surprises with that photo.

Okay, I will. And you're going to do all this? Yes. Great. I have nothing to lose. I think you're totally right. You have only things to gain. I think we have a win.

I do too. I do too. Thank you so much guys. This is going to work. I'm so work. So are we. Let's party. Thank you so much Okay, we are back Jennifer, let us know what's happening Hello Kind of down even on the call unfortunately, but I just, he wasn't ready.

Walk us through what happened since we've been gone. So I called him, I let him know that I wrote in, he was like, oh, that's so sweet, but you want to get back together. And I told him briefly, I was like, yeah, they're talking sort of like a Mrs. Dotfire Lee. And he said, oh, so I would dress up? And I was like, yeah, and he wasn't opposed to that. And then he said, maybe he'd be more down

for like a follow-up situation. So he's definitely not saying no. Oh. So that's good. So he's gonna do it. He just didn't want to be on the call right now. Yes, yes. Great, fine. And he also was on a long walk

and like huffing and puffing, so. So this is still good news. So you're being chased. Yes. So Jennifer. No, he likes to walk. So Jennifer, what are you gonna do next? I think I can tell him your guys' pitch

and since he seemed like kind of down, I think it might actually happen. So can we do something really fast, Jennifer? Can you pitch us what you're gonna pitch him? Okay, I'm gonna say that I'm gonna go to my mom's house and I'm gonna tell her that I invited a dance instructor over to do a private lesson with us because I know she's been like really missing that part of her life and I'm gonna tell him, you know, dad, like, I think it'd be a good idea for you

to dress up and let's essentially miss out fire her and like I bought you the outfit. I'm ready. You need to be there this Friday at 6 p.m but once you get there, I'm gonna leave and hopefully It goes well and you guys you can take her dancing that place you like or you could stay home Because you're gonna be all dressed up and you have to do a special accent and then I'll see what he says Okay, and do you think I think this is great? I think it is great.

I think it's amazing that we had a half hour away and I'm hearing it back now and I'm like, what is happening? But I agree. I'm in. And do you think, do you think you should be there that night to help make sure it goes smoothly

rather than leave right away? Because what you don't want to do is, you set it up, your dad's in a weird mariachi outfit, and you leave and your mom goes, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm not sure. Yeah. And then she goes like,

I'd like you to take off. And he's like, okay, should I like salsa out of here? And she's like, I want a divorce. That's why I'm divorcing you because you do what other people tell you to do and you don't think it out. And he goes like, yes. So do we want to, do we want more of a safety net for dad in that is you are curating their evening a little bit.

I think that I could stay, or if I leave, I could become a common villain. If it goes bad, they could start complaining about how ridiculous this was, and then they can bond over that. I actually like that, but I would maybe put that in- It's sort of a win-win. I would put that in dad's ear. Yeah.

Like, I kind of made him do it. Yes. Then it's silly, but he's doing it, and then maybe they can get in a conversation of she made me do it, but I do want to be back with you. And I like dancing with you, I miss that. And I miss dancing with you. Yeah, maybe they'll just go,

because he's already there. So you know, I've got a question for you about the dance place Is it buying tickets? No, no tickets. So Here's what I would recommend you do and nobody likes to spend money I would book them a car Then you get your siblings to do too. And here's why he gets there you leave then there's a town car out front and it's gonna take them there and pick them up at midnight.

Whether they go or not, there's a town car there. It's been paid for. So he's like, can we just do this? Because what you're hoping is they have a couple of drinks. I like that. Me too. And all of a sudden she goes like, this is so stupid. He goes, you think it's stupid? Look at the pants I'm wearing. Me too. And all of a sudden she goes like, this is so stupid. He goes, you think it's stupid?

Look at the pants I'm wearing because of Jennifer. Mm-hmm. And then they have a drink together. They have a little bit of fun and she goes, if you like pina coladas. Getting stuck in the rain. And it's fucking you all along. We raised our kids together.

What are we gonna do? Find somebody else? Spin, spin. That's good. She's not gonna want it, the car's already there. She can't say no. No, it's weird that someone's waiting there. And then why not drink, you have a car service.

Cause what we need is. Oh exactly, they will. You need alcohol. Oh yes. Here's what we're looking to have happen, Jennifer, and I'm sorry to say this you're the daughter But right now we're just on the pitching team. We're looking for mom and dad You know cuz I Jennifer if you take swallow that too much. No, no, no, I just want to make sure you heard it

Jake said fuck. Yes, cuz what we're looking for You heard that okay, and you know this sexual intercourse. Yes sex with each other, but you know this Jennifer You're not a kid. How do people who are kind of on the outs refind the thing? Often through sexual intercourse. Thank you, Zach. Yeah, I think just to be clear.

I threw an L at you, but I was hoping somebody was gonna dunk it in the balls for the air. Zach air buds it and dunks it, thank you. And so nobody likes that part of it. Gareth hates when it happens with Pam and I, but when we're fighting, that's what happens. Jake, focus. I can't, because I haven't eaten yet

and I'm getting hungry. Focus. I'm focused. So Jennifer, can we do that whole date, but book the town car? Yeah, definitely. And what we're hoping for, and like, what's your mom's favorite drink of choice? Is it like a bottle of wine?

Is it a tequila? Yeah, she loves wine. So your dad shows up with her favorite wine that you've bought. Yes. So once you're there, before you leave, you know what you're doing? She goes, what is this?

You're opening the wine, giving her a drink, giving him a drink, and she goes like, Jennifer, what are you doing? And you go like, I'm just telling you what the night is. And then he goes, she's doing all of this, she called some silly podcast. And then she goes, what? And then you look outside and there's a town car.

That's actually realistic. Now we're talking. Can I add, and this might be a hat on a hat, but mom might not be prepped for the evening. What if we get her kind of a nice sort of dress that kind of matches what Mario's wearing a little bit? So the two of them are kind of going. They look hot.

They look hot and they're in unison a little bit on the same page. It maybe saw it. By the way, I have an idea of how to do that. Go. Jennifer, you tie in another sibling that does a girls day with mom where you got they get their nails done. They get their faces put on. They have a full mom spa day.

Oh, easy. My sister will be so perfect for that. So at the end of the- Are you saying spa day ends with the purchase of some sort of dress that matches great? Yes, but it's like, and they go like, why are you doing this? And it's like, you know, Jennifer and I decided

we wanna do this for ya. And so all of a sudden, it's like, just please play along just have fun So she's looking better than she's looked in a while and then here's what we got to do with dad Dad can't look goofy as Mario. Yeah, dad's got to look hot as fuck. Let's get that jet black hair Yeah, yes Yes, this is changing. This is good But it took a perfect turn.

This is just about the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Yeah. We'd like to drive out for the event. Is that okay? I was perfectly fine. Alright, so Jennifer, what are you thinking now? I think this is the best one we've thought of yet. I think having her distracted and also feeling good about herself during the day

will put her in a good mood. So there's less risk of her being annoyed and more of that, oh, there's a car here, I have wine, we should go. You know what we're actually now doing, Jennifer? Parent trapping. Parent trapping. Yes.

It went from doubt fire, it started at parent trap, it went from parent trap to doubt fire. It's a kind of a doubt fire trap. It's a doubt fire trap. It's a parent trap. With a doubt fire rip cord, if your dad needs it, he can go down fire. Yeah, but we, yeah, so, but this is, they're both,

your dad looks great. Yeah mom looks great There's you the night. They're doing it is The night that they're that dance at the place they like to be He shows up she shows up. He goes you look beautiful. She's like, I mean I got a full day I Think at the end of this too, let's your sister and you credit dad with the day mom just had a little bit too. Yes. Oh yeah.

Like put that on dad. Yes, that was dad. Dad wanted to do this for you so that when you met Mario, you guys were ready to go dancing. By the way, there's a car in the driveway. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Hey, Jennifer, you got to document a lot of this.

Yes. I know. I put them together. We've earned it. There's a lot of photos I want of mom, of dad, the town car. Yeah. And if he does an accent, we need a voice note. We need a voice note is right.

Can I add one more? And guys, if I'm getting cuckoo bananas, just say, bananas just say Gareth get out of Parmesan the mom right on her head No John the town we rose peddled the backseat with Parmesan We don't want to turn this into the Golden Bachelor We should we get guys Will you have a black jacket and go? What do you guys think so what did you get it arose to my dream is to be the driver of the town car?

Drivers talking a lot about his stand-up. I don't know what they're doing, but they're not proving it with all this construction Gilly Beams here you guys seem like a lovely couple. My wife and I are on the skits. So, Jennifer, are you doing it? Yes, yes. Love it. Totally. Alright, follow up. This is a big win. I think this could be the most romantic episode we've ever had. Yup.

Aw, thanks. Thank you guys. Well, it depends how it ends. Yeah, by the way, we want the credit, we don't want the blame. That's how this works. Cause this could go sideways. If it goes poorly, you never met me. We were never here. Okay. But I don't think it's gonna, I think this is gonna work.

I do too. Yeah, it's really sweet. I think it's really sweet. Thank you. Thanks for calling in. Fun one. Yeah, keep us posted, Jennifer. I will. Thank you. Alright, see ya. Okay, thanks. I will. Thank you. All right, see ya. Okay, thanks, bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show,

please email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com and if you wanna watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash Here to Help Pod produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Themed song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike, animations by Andrew Strelicki, and if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentholds.com.

Remember all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. Season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. Hey, I'm Wayne Brady. And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play

and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway or Let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised show called What If on the Head Gum Podcast Network. And on What If, we believe that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of TV, film, tech, and literature. Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We ask them the big, ridiculous questions like, what if you heard a monkey's feelings?

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