We're Here to Help - 158: Sir, This Is a Gym & Is This Erin?

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

Jake and Gareth brainstorm how to keep a caller's dad from approaching her at the gym. Later, things get personal when a caller needs help navigating her husband's new martial arts hobby. Plus, an update on Ep. 146 "Filthy Granny."Want to call in? Email your question to [e-mail]: https://patreon.com/heretohelppodMERCH: heretohelppod.comINSTAGRAM: @HereToHelpPodIf you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts.Advertise on We’re Here to Help via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And we are back! Jake, here we go again. How are you, bud? I've been sick. What do you got? Yeah, it sounds like you have a little something. I don't know.

I'm getting sick all the time these days. That's fun. That's fun. That's life as a dad. I think we've got a couple things to talk about before we get into another fantastic episode. The first is obviously we're flushing out our new world a little bit with some of our producers. Natalie, who works on the show, who's on the show a lot.

You're talking Nat Attack? We've kind of landed on the name Nat Attack. You'll hear the origins of that at some point, but it's Kate gave it to us. It's kind of rocked Yeah rocked the behind the scenes of the show a little bit. We've got we've got our we've got some people on our team who are Pro the Nat attack name. We're not gonna say who but there's some people who love it Everybody and then there's some people who seem to be a little hesitant about the name. I don't want to say names.

Yeah, but Nat Attack. So I don't know. That's kind of interesting. I don't know Natalie, if you want to, Nat Attack, if you want to say anything about this while we're just kind of getting in front of it. Yeah, Nat Attack, what are you thinking about the nickname Nat Attack?

Can I ask if Jesse, what his opinion is on this terrible nickname? I mean you're sort of my boss so I guess you're all my boss so I don't feel like I'm in an impossible situation but I know that Natalie really doesn't like it. But Jesse, hold on a second, Jesse if we can, J-Dog, and by the way that's pending, if we can real quick. I can lock it as you Jay dog as you degree since you have your Bosses and again the Jake and I are not comfortable in that position of authority Jake has a yard full of gorillas. I use cream

But if if you could since there you can't you can't really pick site. What is your gut? Do you feel about it? J dog? I mean, I think it's I think it's fun. Great. Thank you. J. Dog. Thanks. Thanks attack Yeah, there's that attack side that she's so was when you said you had some run intro was it to bring up now to tack? No, it wasn't I was gonna ask you if you notice anything different about the old I did If you notice anything different about the old I did I did in the back. I did Yeah, thank you

Well, he also Take you're not gonna win with this one. I hate to tell you J-dog already put a marble on the scales of it. So here we are you threw the photo of us behind the and you threw the oh The old we got a thing of whiskey that somebody made us with a phone on it. Yeah, I'm happy Gareth I got the we're here to help whiskey. I felt you know, if you look up there is also the we're here now cutting agree So I will say I was feeling a little bit sad when Gareth built his new background that there wasn't we're here to help stuff He said he would remedy the situation and Gareth you did So I want you to know and and and it's not because you said you wanted you said because I wanted it

It's because it deserves it. Yes near the bell. We've got the picture of us here, which is From the New York Times that my background's going great. I think we're back. So I think. Really fast and let's not spend a lot of time on this because a lot of people don't care about sports but for those that do you're a big Green Bay Packer fan. Yes. You used to love Aaron Rodgers. Yes. What do you think about him to Pittsburgh? What do you think about him in the Jets? What do you think happened to Yes. What do you think about him to Pittsburgh? What do you think about him in the Jets? What do you think happened to Aaron? What do you think about Aaron in his documentary?

Where are we at in the NFL, Gera? Well, I've gone all over the map with Aaron. He's really taken me on quite an adventure. I mean, you know, the reason why I think it's maybe even outside of sports conversation is because he has become one of those guys who is larger than football. And I do think that in a way works against athletes sometimes and it works for them sometimes.

I, as a Packer fan, want nothing but the best for Aaron. He had two tumultuous years with the Jets, one of which he missed. And it's weird, it all flips, I think our business, a lot of times I relate it to sports, and this is one of those ones where it's like, you know, he's just not getting the offers that he used to. The business is kind of changing around him, but there's still opportunities

They're just not the roles he used to go out for that's true I do still think that if you look at his numbers from last year They're not as bad as people suggest. I think he's got more in the tank He does I think he's got he's going to a place where you're gonna have a lot of moving pieces But I think if he goes to Pittsburgh, I think he's probably going to do... Didn't they just get D.K. Metcalf? Yeah, they just got D.K. Metcalf. And they have that great defense?

They have George Pickens, they have a great defense. They have Mike Tomlin, who's a great coach. Yes. Where are you at now that he's left the Packers? And as I commented this on Twitter to someone the other day, the Bears don't really... The Chicago team for the NFL is we just want the Packers to lose.

That's not true. I think that's just, it isn't. It's true, it's true. You guys are funny. The Packers are not the threat. I know, that's why it's strange. It's like get over us. It's just not the case.

It's just for social media. Okay, anyway, where are you at with him? I've always thought he was a little bit Goofy Yeah, it's fair if you also want a Super Bowl but go ahead I'm not it's not my time And I think his moves post Green Bay have been a little goofy. Yes But I think he's a really fun quarterback to watch and I'd like to see what he does in Pittsburgh But I think did you did you watch any of watch and I'd like to see what he does in Pittsburgh. But I think that he's just a-

Did you watch any of the Netflix thing, Enigma, that he did? No. I watched it all, yes. And? I liked it. I liked it. I do as much- You like the guy.

Again, in this day and age, you have to do a lot of kind of separating things you maybe don't agree with. I agree. You know, you can't hate everyone you don't agree with. But we've also all realized now everybody's a full thing and there's going to be areas we're not excited about. Well, we just know too much about everybody now. Yes. We know everybody, it's no longer this idea of like, yeah, you've just got a bunch of opinions and you live with one to two people who get sick of them.

Now we just kind of purge ourselves online with every thought that pops into our head and you're going to be turning people off. I mean, that happens in doing a podcast is different than what you're used to doing because you really are showing like a little bit more of yourself than you normally would. And people do that online for no real reason now. Or you know what I really think it is? And this is what I think you're showing a side

you're choosing to show. So you're showing the podcast side or Aaron showing this. And I think what people believe is the side they're seeing on someone's social media is the whole picture or one opinion's the whole thing. And what people don't, what they're not seeing is, it's all just a variation of the game. Because if somebody was listening to something,

they would go, I don't even recognize that version. And you go, well, that version works for this. That's this tone. But this tone doesn't work over here. And what's hard for an athlete is their main thing is the game. As well as the- And you judge them as players,

but then their tone of different media events, you go like, who he is on the Pat McAvee show is very different than who he is if he's taken ayahuasca. Well, you're also getting a level of commentary on what people think about you in a way that is also completely distorting. So he hears a lot of that stuff. How does he react to that shit?

I mean, everybody kind of goes through it. And unfortunately pays attention to it. And he pays attention to it. And he pays attention to it. And if you dip in too much. You get in a lot of trouble. You get in a lot of trouble. And I think that happened. But I do think if you watch Enigma,

there are redeeming qualities, as well as things that you're probably not gonna like, but I still root for the guy. And I'm not gonna wish him the best. That's a nice 360. Yeah, that's 180. And that leads us perfectly when we come all the way back to where we started. Oh yeah, okay, good. Yeah, that's 180. And that leads us perfectly. Well, we come all the way back to where we started.

Oh yeah, okay, good, good, you're right. Because there was times where you were really against him and you were now agreeing with my teasing of him, but I'm happy to get back to, I love Darren Rogers. Yeah, I do love him, but I'm a little careful because it feels like you're doing one of your things and I'm picking up on it and I don't want to push it because I want to get out of the intro but you are, there is a little, right?

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Can we get your name, where you're calling from, your approximate age, and your favorite movie ever? Sure. My name is Maria. I'm 25. I'm in Pennsylvania, and my favorite movie is Monsters, Inc. Wow. Great.

It's actually, it's a very helpful favorite movie. I appreciate that. I feel the same way. I get a good sense. I got a sense. Yeah, there's a sense. Alright, Maria, well let's not belabor this. What is going on?

Okay, so I recently moved back to my hometown after a break up and I started going to my hometown gym again. My dad goes to the same gym and we're always there around the same time after a breakup and I started going to my hometown gym again. My dad goes to the same gym and we're always there around the same time after work because that's what's convenient. When my dad is between workout sets, he likes to come up to me and like chat with me to kill a few seconds of time. Okay. And after seeing us interact...

It's just such dad behavior. Okay Dad behavior and as a child as like this the daughter you're like dad fuck off. Yes. Okay keep going We're very different guys I was a hundred percent with the dad and I'm to be with her I Just like stop, oh, just like stop, dude. Every second I would go. Even gym buddies, like when I would go to like a gym, like the social butterfly was like, dude, fuck off. Like, you know, like you'd always have to like

take the air pod out and be like, huh? And they'd be like, yeah, they got the new weights back there. I like your shoes. And you're just like, stop, it's ballys. Leave me alone. So Maria, keep going. We're getting a good setup. OK, so I think that's what it is.

He's just excited that I'm there. I'm back home. Now, one of his gym buddies, after seeing my dad and I interact a few times, this gym guy went up to my dad and was like, ooh, who is that you're talking to? And he was insinuating that my dad was flirting with me or that we were at the gym together.

Obviously, my dad responded and was like, no, no, no, it's not like that, that's my daughter. So the guy totally thought we were dating or my dad and I were flirting like something completely wrong And it turned out that this gym guy actually thought I was cute and wanted to talk to me But was like checking with my dad first who I was to him. Yeah, so without Getting too gross your father's cock blocking a little bit. I Mean I Gross. Your father's cock blocking a little bit. I mean, I wasn't necessarily...

I wouldn't go there. Or... I'm going there. How old is the guy who's interested? I wasn't necessarily interested in this specific guy because he was like a little older for me. But my issue is that I'm single and obviously I don't want any guys at the gym thinking I'm dating my dad.

But do you want, are you, you're interested, I mean, you want to have people at the gym know you're available. Right. And if there were to be a guy I was potentially interested in, not this certain guy, but I don't want people to be looking around thinking I'm dating my dad. I never would have guessed this was the end of this setup. Yeah, but see you're the guy who's going over there for a conversation between sets. You're not seeing it. Yeah, I'm not seeing it as a person who views the gym as a chance of

romance. Bless him in my garage with my... Romance. Yeah, see what I... I'm in my garage with my... With your little tack, because I mean... I'm already in that relationship. Maybe he kisses you a little bit. I kiss him. You know, good lips.

So, this is interesting. The question, Maria, is basically, without hurting your dad's feelings, how do we get him to stop coming over to talk to you at the gym? Right. How do I make sure people at the gym don't think I'm dating my dad? And also, if I am interested in talking to a guy at the gym, how do I do that while my dad is there? That's tough too.

This is a tough one. When you're going to work out, you guys are in the same area, how big is the gym? I thought you were gonna say how big are your calves? I thought we were gonna get into weight training stuff. Nope, absolutely not. How big is the gym? I thought you were gonna say, how big are your calves? I thought we were gonna get into wind-wrapped stuff. That's a crazy question, nope, absolutely not. How big are your triceps? We gotta picture the calves, right?

How big is the gym? Big gym? Yeah, I mean, the gym's pretty big, but it's like my dad will go to fill his water bottle and just be walking by me and come talk to me. It's not like he's like awkwardly speaking me out. It's just, you know, when our paths cross. I would do the same thing.

Yeah, Jake. If my kid is in a gym and I'm there, not only am I saying hi, but I'm probably giving unsolicited advice. Well, that's a nightmare, obviously, but it's actually a good resource for this call. So, Jake, let's say you're in this situation. I'm the dad, you're the kid, Gareth. Let's figure this one out. These are natural roles, babe.

You're the hot girl at the gym. I'm the annoying dad at the gym. It ain't working. I'm not, I'm being honest. Well, if you were approached with a statement of, I don't want to talk at the gym, period, or because there are sometimes guys there. I would talk more. Yeah, would you be hurt?

Yes. And that's your fear, Maria, is that your dad is gonna get hurt if you kind of tell him this news. Right. Yeah. Because he would.

Right. And then what you're hurting him with is even more. You're saying, I don't want to talk to you because I want to talk to other men who I want to replace you with in my life to be the main male in my life because you're an old line and you're dying out and I'm looking to find a strong one here. Yeah, you're turning it into something crazy, obviously, real quick. Is it possible for you to go at another time or the schedule really only permits the immediate

after work gym move? I mean, I could go later. It's just like, it's what's the most convenient. Yes. Yeah. I don't want to switch out my whole routine. So I've got a pitch to start. I would say that maybe tell your dad

you're doing a new workout and the workout is about no breaks. And so even when you're sitting there in between sets, you're doing a counting exercise so that you can talk to him before or after, but in the gym, you are in this whole workout and part of the workout, if he sees you, he's thinking she's so focused on this new workout that even though she's sitting there,

I don't want to interrupt her thing. Because I'll tell you what dads get really into is when their kids are into a thing. And so the idea of like, oh, she's real, she's just sitting there. But the problem with that is then if some guy starts talking to you, he might say, leave my daughter alone,

she's doing a quiet workout in her head. Hey Leave her alone pal. She's doing a quiet workout. I like the zone I was thinking you could do like everybody films their workouts at the gym Now you could say you're trying to film stuff and when he comes over it's like Affecting some be the person who films in a gym. No, she's lying. She's lying.

This is all lies. Yes. All my pitches are going to be lies. Yes. Yeah, but we're lying about something like that. Another option would be bring a friend to the gym with you so that you're kind of distracted a little bit by that. My other pitch would be you could say you've hired

a virtual trainer and you're going to be talking to the trainer throughout your workout. So you're gonna have your AirPods in, just set your phone up and be like, so I can't,, this guy is charging me by like the half hour, so I can't really take breaks to talk while I'm doing this. This is a nearly perfect pitch,

and it's connected with what I was trying to say before, but I didn't have it, and I think Gareth nailed it. You just tell your dad that you are doing, you have a virtual trainer. Here's the problem, Gareth, if he wants to hire the trainer. We can figure that out. If we like the bones.

Okay, Murray, what do you think about telling your dad that you're doing a thing where you're using a virtual trainer who's just in your ear? You don't need the screen, but just say like, it's just while I'm working out that I'm it's on like a pre recorded thing. I have a whole system. But if you talk to me, I have to pause it.

But it's all about like my timing and my heart rate. So if I if you see me talking to somebody, I have it figured out. But just let me be in my thing while we're here. Let's hang out after or before. But I'm actually on a system I also think that's a good point I would suggest when you bring this up, but after let's make sure we get a bite to eat or Something like that, you know to make him feel like he still has a gym friend. What do you think about that? Yes, I like that idea. I think I would lean towards like a pre-recorded thing I'm listening to or I'm following a YouTube video or something.

Yep, smart. So I'm not needing to be talking. By the way, here's how you fake that. You just go to some workout person on YouTube and so when he comes in, you just do the deep sigh and the pause and go like, what? And then go, dad, I'm sorry, I'm in a thing. I go, let's talk after, but I'm trying to follow this workout and they even have my breaks timed in.

Yes. And he'll go like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's gonna sound to him like it's something he just doesn't understand tech-wise. I think that's right. I think if you tell him, look, it's basically a program where I have someone instructing me what to do every 30 seconds to every two minutes, whatever.

I can't fuck with the timing with what I'm trying to do heart rate wise. So I can't really engage in conversation. Now if someone at the gym comes up and talks to you and you want to talk to him, feel free to agree and you just tell your dad, well, I don't know that person. So I don't want to be rude. I'm just telling you. Maria, here's what we're going to gonna do really fast Gareth. You're Maria. I'm the dad. Okay Let's just see what happens and then now yeah Do we want to do this at the gym or before the gym beforehand? Okay, I agree

So this is Maria do you you don't travel there with your dad? So when you first see your dad at the gym, is it before, after, how does it go? I usually like spot him when I first walk into the gym. So I could have a conversation with him as soon as I get there. I think we do that. Okay, so you walk over and then start it off. Okay, so here's how it would go. Hey, what are you, what are you working on?? Hey, how are you honey? I'm good. How are you? How was work? How you doing? I don't even worry about my stuff What are you working on today legs? Uh, well, I'm actually I'm not gavs kiddo. I thanks dad I mean, maybe I don't want to hear that in that way. It's not like we're in the men's locker room together, but um, I

This is what I was gonna say What's up doll face? Okay, so I? Love I'm doing a new hold on dad. I'm doing a new Program okay, we're basically I have like this virtual training program that I'm paying for Yeah, and so basically what he's gonna do is like it's just the voice of this trainer And they're gonna walk me through every moment of my workout so I Apologize in advance if like you're trying to talk to me and I ignore you or something like that Like I just have to kind of lock in and pay attention to everything they're saying for the timing of the workout

How long is the workout? The they range from 30 minutes to like an hour Oh, so once you, you're in it. Once I start, I can't stop because the whole thing, they try to do it in real time to make it seem like you have an actual trainer. So I just can't stop and go back. Well, no, no, you shouldn't do it with me.

You're not gonna wanna go for the same body type and stuff like that. Oh, no, you're right. Hey, how about this, let's meet up after. Yeah, and that's what I was gonna say. Maybe after we get a bite to eat. I love it. All right, great, love you, dad. I love you. You're my whole world. All right That's kind of a crazy thing to say across the gym Maria

What'd you think of something like that? It was good. I liked it. Now. Let's try no one else is listening at the gym. Now. Let's try this Maria Demure it you're you I'm your dad. Give me quick notes on the dad. How do I try this Maria. Demure it. You're you, I'm your dad. Give me quick notes on the dad. How do I make him more real like your dad? Lose a little accent. Fair and no. Big gym guy, very bubbly, social,

wants to talk to everybody. Maybe Gareth, I think you just booked it. Well hello, Maria, welcome to Daddy's Dojo. Alright, here we go. I think I unfortunately just got recast. I had a different read and they just decided to go with another version. Alright, let's see how it goes. This is way more Robert than Barbara, you're exactly right. Agreed.

Okay, all right. Okay, Maria, approach me. Whoa, that's good. Oh, good burn. Hi, hey, babe. Hey, dad, how's your day? Good, I'm probably gonna need another towel. Look at me, I'm over here, I'm just drippin'.

How was your day, babe? Good, yeah, just wanted to say hi. I'm gonna go run and start my workout. Oh, good, yeah, dude, don't forget to stretch. I'll tell you That's the one thing they don't tell you when you hit 35 you got to stretch. That's the one thing they don't tell you Yeah, for sure always. So I just wanted to tell you today. I'm starting this new workout program. Oh great I'm gonna be listening. Yeah, I'm excited I'm gonna be listening to this trainer in my air pod that kind of tells me

To be doing is this some kind of AI stuff that I don't know about No, it's real. It's like pretty recorded, but I can just listen to it while I'm working out So it can kind of guide me through my workout, you know, keep me focused and motivated. Okay. So what do you okay? That's great Yeah, so I just wanted to I just want to stay focused I think maybe we can just chat after the gym. Are you trying to tell your old man? Hold on, babe Are you trying to tell your old man don't come over and bust up my workout with your little quips and stories while you get water? You know, I just really like to stick to this program see if it works for me. I'm trying, you know, hey Hey, hey, you're not even gonna know I'm here.

And I would love to get a bite after. All right. Here we go. All right, Maria, by the way, that's gonna work. Let's do one really fast. I'm gonna go back to my original job as dad. Let's see how it plays with a different version of you. Just in case we do good dad, bad dad. By the way, that worked great. Let's just see what happens. Okay. Okay. Hey, Dad. Hey, how you doing? Good, how was your day? Nah, you know, up and down, up and down, how it goes.

Your fucking mother's been driving me up all fucking walls. She's a real cool little woman. Hey, excuse me, sir, I work at the gym. There is a language code that we need you to adhere to. Yeah, shove it up your fucking ass. Oh ash my god, you bum what's going on? All right, well, I'm gonna go start my workout, but I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna start this new program today that I'm really excited about I heard about it online. The trainer is gonna be on a pre-recorded video

You got a robot training you? No, no, no, it's a real certified trainer. They've just pre-recorded these workouts that I can listen to so that, you know, I make sure I'm doing all the right things. I don't think so, you're trying to get rid of me. You came from my balls. Well, you've never been my trainer, dad.

Hey, sir, it's me again. You came from my body, baby. Sir, sir, I work at the gym I mean you say you could say the f-word, but this is disgusting. I mean what's going on people are just trying to work You listen to me, Rodney Yeah Gotta get off this car. Yeah How do you feel about that Maria aside from the last part where Jake Jake made Joe Pesci your dad

Aside from the last part where Jake made Joe Pesci your dad. What do you think? I mean, the came from my balls comment was really out of left field. It's actually true. But it's a father and child realization. It is biology. Derek came from his dad's testicles. We want to prepare you for everything. I came from Focco's testicles.

Oh, God, I feel sick. We all came from balls. What's happening over there? Is there a beer open? What are you doing? How do you feel about that Maria I feel like that's gonna work balls and that is Not a title The one you do with Garth ink will actually really work do Do you agree? Yeah. Okay. Yes, I think so.

Are you gonna really do it? I am. I'm going to the gym after work today, so no time to spare. Can you do us a big favor and can you record it on your phone? Because you can just do a voice note. You'll be kind of gesturing to your phone anyway, so you can kind of have it out a little bit.

But can we try to get this as a voice note so we hear what you say and we hear what he says? Yeah, we want to hear dad's heartbreak in real time. Or I actually think it's going to be more like yours. I don't think he's going to be heartbroken. I really do too. I think he's going to go, let's hang out after.

I agree. If you could send that voice note, that would be a really nice ending for us. Yeah, for sure. You're the best. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Thanks, us. Yeah, for sure. You're the best, thank you. Thank you. All right, thanks guys. Thanks Maria.

All right, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye Can we get your name please? Gareth is 45. Not at all. My name is going to be Brittany. Hi Brittany. And are you older or younger than Gareth? He's 45. I'm not.

I'm 40. You're 40 so you're way younger than Gareth. Well you're older than me. All right so what's going on? Where are you going? Jake, hold on. Not yet. Jake, he's being crazy. You're being belligerent. I know you're tired of running right, so what's going on? Where are you calling from, Jake? Hold on. Not yet, old man.

He's being crazy. You're being belligerent. I know you're tired of me for lunch. All right, old man. Hey, I'll get off your lawn. Stop. Hey, Brittany. Brittany, 40, fine age.

Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Denver. Great city. Okay, so Denver, a young lady to Gareth and I from Denver. Not to me. He's the same age, a little younger. Go ahead, Brittany. What is your favorite thing to do in Denver on a Friday night at 8 p.m. If you're going out and guess what you have no

Responsibilities you're in a fictional world That means I have to go out You can do whatever you want, there's no stakes it's like the movie memento in the morning you forget everything it all starts over Okay then I You can do whatever you want, but there's no stakes. It's like the movie Memento in the morning. You forget everything, it all starts over. Okay. Then I am going dancing. What kind of dancing? What kind of music? I am going to, it's gonna be hip hop.

Ooh, okay, Britt. Interesting. You going alone, You going with friends? And what are you dressing like? You looking like the Australian break dancer? Reagan? Oh my god, that would be amazing. What's your style? You going 90s hip-hop? I'm going with my sister and my cousin. That sounds like a lot of fun.

And then, what are you guys eating that night? We're going for sushi. Sushi and hip hop. That's interesting. Sister and cousin. Sounds like a pretty great fictional night. Brittany, what do we got? All right. So my husband, who is in his 40s, has... Quick pause. Wasn't invited on the fictional night. No, totally not invited.

No. Interesting. Keep going. Interesting. He is in his 40s. How how does he in his 40s? Older younger than 40 had 45. Well, I'm a 39 already. He's 40. Oh, it's five years younger than you He's a kid. He's a kid. He's a little younger than Jake Yeah, yes, he's a kid. Go ahead. Jesus Christ Jake stop Brittany. Go ahead He has become obsessed with martial arts Does he have a fake locker room with a bunch of little dummies he kisses all right Brittany go ahead So he's obsessed with martial arts. This is this sucks, and I was so you were really you were in the driver's seat

Oh, all right. Anyway, so he's delusional. He's got anyway what's going on? Big loser, but he thinks putting out a little outfit help if you tell me he's got sculptures his backyard. I'm hanging up I've been set up. Oh my god. Oh my god That's what my sister told me. He's a big dark. He's into martial arts and he's terrible at it. Keep going. He heard his knee looking at us watching above the law. He's balding by the second. But he's getting started to grow a ponytail. He doesn't get invited to his wife's little night I'm invited to my wife's fiction ruin it by talking about different moves. He can't do

Back to you in this incredible guy Sad man, all right, so what's going on? So he's in his 40s. He got into martial art. And I hate to say it like this, but we all know I'm going to. What type of martial art? Yeah, so it started off as just a way of getting exercise and block. Of course, it's how it always starts. Yeah, of course.

Kicking a punch, and is he doing karate? Yeah. Is it karate? Is it kung fu? Is it jiu-jitsu? Ugh. Yuck. It is. It's jiu-jitsu. It's krav maga. He's doing krav maga.

Oh Christ, Jake stop. Okay, so he's into martial arts. He's doing jiu-jitsu and krav maga. What's the problem? But if you want to give us a little more lead up get in there No, no, no, like we know what the problem is. Okay. Okay, so The moment he gets home from class He wants to test out his moves on me and like tries to get me in headlocks And it's become now a daily a daily thing and I keep saying no because I have zero interest Yeah, of course when I refuse he gets upset like

How upset is he getting annoyed like he's throwing little tantrums? Yeah See these these guys who get into this stuff so late. They're trying to fill a hole that can't be filled Okay, that's just the elephant in the room. Okay. I mean that's right. That's just the elephant in the yard Okay, so your question is how do we kind of Confront this or do I yeah, how do I support his hobby without? Becoming his sparring partner. This is a really interesting question. This really is. I got a pitch right off the bat. I don't know if you want to get

a little more information, Jake. I would like to hear the pitch. My pitch would be, change your attitude for two or three of these sessions and placate him and let him do it, and then fake get hurt on one of them. And that puts the death nail in the coffin of these. He shows you his move. There's real truth to that.

He shows you his move, your neck gets pulled, you're taking Advil for the next two days and icing it, he's gonna leave you the fuck alone. Hey Brittany, Gareth is kind of dead right? If you pretend he's a lethal weapon and he has to be careful with his body Because this is he is now but he's danger Jake Jake But he doesn't understand his own strength, but Jake my god Jake Jake Jitsu Jake I believe you said Jake Johnson Jake. Just careful with how you say it. It's bad when you say it. It gets it's bad Just careful with how you say it. It's bad. When you say it, it gets it's bad My pitch is not that we inflate just to be clear I'm I think you're on the husband's side in some weird contorted way. I'm talking about

For of course, it's sad. It's crazy, but we're gonna work with it What I'm saying is not let's make him feel so good that he leaves her alone. I'm saying this sad guy has come home and he's hurt his poor wife with his like little fantasy camp that he's going to two or three times a week. Jake, I'm talking to just listen because it's really hard right now and I need to kind of machete through the jungle of delusion. Let me cook little boy. You don't. First of all, title and second of all, do not talk to me like that. Hey, zip it, little boy.

B, let me cook. God, Brittany, if you need to get a bucket to be sick, and I'll try to do the same. I'll put a bucket over your head when I do my karate chump. What is this? Here's what I really think. I think you're... I get it. He's working on new stuff. He's excited.

Can we ask one question? What is his name? What are we calling him? We're calling him Jay. Jay? Too close to mine. That was me. Are you making... Is this Aaron? Aaron? I've asked you a million times, don't call into the podcast. Come on now. Aaron, come on now.

I've got another call. How do I get my husband to stop doing weird stuff and he's ruining the vibe? Erin, get out of here. Where can I hide all the snacks that are for my kids so my husband doesn't start eating Ted Kelly snack packs? So Jay's thing is he's getting into martial arts and what got him into it? It was really just to like take his aggression out

on something. Interesting, so he just started in, what is he doing them? Because look, I gotta tell you as a man who did martial arts for a little bit until my knee got hurt, there's a big difference between Krav Maga, Israeli street fighting, and Jiu Jitsu, a Brazilian art form that is way more about submissions. I'm speaking in a language, Gareth is so confused right now.

If you saw his face, you'd be dying laughing. No, no, if you saw Jake right now, you'd just give him $10. I mean, I feel bad for him. Thank you for giving me $10 because I mean, I feel bad for him. I just give him $10. Thank you for giving me $10, because he sees me as a lethal weapon. He's afraid. He thinks I'm robbing him, but really I'm here to save him. Sad.

You have fake gorillas in your yard. You're not okay. I have a real question. I have a real question for you. You are done with Jiu Jitsu? You're off now because of your knee? Yeah. So what happened to your little garage friend who you were rolling around with?

You remember the OnlyFans call that the woman did where she used to dress it up? Yeah, oh no. I got an OnlyFans. Jake. Back to you, Brittany. So we've gotten off track here and it's not your fault. This is a good call.

It's just, I was getting too mean to Gareth about age and then he just got a real wheelhouse and I had to take my beatings. I'm tapping out. So now back to you. Your husband is doing too much martial arts and he wants to do it on you and you got to figure out how to get him to stop. I think the fake hurt is a very good pitch. Okay. Because what you don't want to do is make it more serious than it's not. So have like a, I don't want to do this hobby with where he's like, just chill out. And when you say like a demo, what kind of stuff is he demoing? I mean, like he tries to come at me from behind.

Like he's, he's, I don't, I don't know because I don't understand it Walk us through what happens? Will you just paint the picture of the one time when he's come at you from behind and walk us through the situation I Will be in my bathroom and he'll come up from behind and he's just like let me practice let me practice and and I just am like no I don't want to do this and then he'll come up from behind and I just like whack him with my arms and then what happens? He crits because his knee hurts. No, he keeps trying and then I just and then I walk away. No, he doesn't really cry. Does he? No, okay, but you'll give him a whack and he'll get his feelings hurt and then it'll end

And then he Fades about an hour later. He'll try again. Okay, so Brittany. I think Gareth is dead, right? I think what you have to do is let him do it and then you need to act your ass off and be like, ow, what the f, ow. And he goes, what? You go like, my fucking neck, you tweaked something in my neck, man. And he'll go like, what? And go like, that genuinely hurts.

And then you're laying down with an ice pack and you go like, hey, I'm not the one to practice on. You don't know what you're doing, but these are real moves. Like, this isn't a game. If you're talking about real martial arts you're learning, you're learning how to kill people. I don't want you practicing on me. And I think there's a part of him

that might even be like, wow. Yeah, I want him at that later tonight to look at his hands. Yeah, I gotta be careful. These hands! These are lethal weapons. I have to learn restraint or I could kill the woman. Yes, yes, yes. That's where I think we're getting to,

that he has to see you and go, I would love to put her in a full Nelson and practice this move, but I love the woman. Well, and then- I couldn but I love the woman. Well, and then- I couldn't imagine hurting the woman. Jake, there is a world where we do this and Brittany is prepped with maybe not your 150 pound weird thing that looks like leather face

that you keep in your fake locker room. How much do you weigh against Gareth? Is it around 150? So, Brittany, we get you, we get you like a, a little like fake dummy or something like that, that you can, he can kind of demonstrate on when he comes back because he's a little fired up.

Could the fake dummy have a perm? Jake, Jake, are we, are we, are we attacking each other or are we moving to Brittany? We're moving on. Because again, we're talking about a guy who was playing around with a doll It is yard. I got a guy playing with a doll little fake locker room set where it looks like they shoot Between two right and he blows his knee out so bad that he can't go to class anymore

This is two weeks after he locked his keys in his car and had to walk home with a shirt on his head a drink from a hose Okay, the ayahuasca? Unbelievable. Did you dump in your pants? No, right after it was horrible. Back to you, Brittany. Yeah, so, but I think there's a world where if she gets a little thing to demonstrate on,

maybe that's a nice follow-up when we get him where... I think that's a sweet ending to give him something that is a gift, but I really think, Brittany, you win here if the next time he does it. Like, can we do something for a second, Brittany? Mm-hmm. Pretend I'm Jay, I'm gonna put you in a move, and then I want you to act as if it's really hurt,

but don't do it comedically. See if you can make me believe. Okay. Okay, so you can make me believe. Okay. Okay, so you're in the bathroom. I sneak up behind you. Hey, can I try this on you? My hand is where I'm doing a rear naked choke. So just tap my arm when you're ready to tap out, okay?

Just tap my arm if it's hurting too much. I'm gonna apply a little pressure, okay, Brittany? Tap out if you need to. Ow. You tapping? Ow. This is, ow. Wait, wait, wait, what's going on? Stop. What happened? What happened?

You really hurt my neck. I did? Oh my god. I think I need to go to the urgent care. Let me tag it real quick. Brittany, I'm going to be you and we'll keep Jay, Jake is Jay. Jake is Jay.

I think I love that you're committing. Very real. I'm going to give you another direction so it doesn't... And here's what I'd say too. Let's do one where you allow them to do it and it's fine. And then this is the second one after that. Okay, so the first one is you allow me to do it and it's fine. Okay, and then this is the second one after that Okay, so the first one is you allow me to do it. It's fine. Yes. This is a week later You've come back from your sad class and you want to do it again. Okay. Okay, Brittany you got so much older

I mean literally like our marriage is hanging on by a thread and you're gonna pull this shit right now. I'm behind you I'm behind you. Hey Brittany Brittany tap Brittany, tap out if you need to, tap if you need to. I really don't like when you do this. Okay, then just tap, like I just wanna practice this. Ow, ow, oh God, Jesus. What? Stop, stop, Jay. Really?

Oh, something happened. Fuck. Right in my neck. I just like shot down to my shoulder. Hold on, give me a minute. Oh God. Are you okay? I'm, I don't know, just give me a minute. I'm so, Are you okay? I'm, I don't know. Just give me a minute. I'm so sorry.

It's okay, but that's why I said to you, I don't wanna do this shit. All right, I'm never, I'm so, lay down, let me get you a hand pad. Yeah, yeah, get some ice or something. Are you sure you're okay? Get a couple Advil too. I'm okay, I just like,

okay, oh, God, my shoulder just feels bad. It's okay, it's okay. These arms! Yeah, no, no, no, no, Jay, okay these arms. Yeah, no Brittany I Gotta say I think that was right. I don't want urgent care. I really liked how Gareth just did it was like let's try again I'm behind you. Okay. Hey, honey. I just worked on this new move. It's a rear naked check Can do my can I just try this just tap my arm if you want to go? I'm gonna apply very light pressure. Okay, just tap if you need to go. I really don't want to do this. Just let me do it for a second

I just got to make sure this works, but this could literally take your oxygen away So let me just put so the pressure goes right on the side of the neck just like that I'm applying pressure right now Something something's not feeling right. Okay, then just tap. Stop stop stop. Okay, I'm stopped Something's not feeling right. Okay, then just tap. Stop, stop, stop. Okay, stop, stop. Ow, ow, ow.

What? Something doesn't feel right in my neck. What do you mean? I think something is tweaking in my neck. Are you serious? Yeah. Fuck. What does it feel like? I think, I think, I think you hit a nerve.

Fuck. Okay. Do you need any? Fuck. Okay, what can I get? Do you need a heating pad or something? Yeah, a gatter, an ice pack, something, please. Okay, why don't you go lay down. I'll go take a... I'm really sorry. Okay, so can you lay down? Do you want me to walk you to the bed? Are you okay? Yeah, I'll go lay down just please get me an ice pack. Okay, I'm now walking to the kitchen by myself these are Brittany that's great. I think it's pretty good. It's pretty good. I think it's pretty good and I think

Just play it up for another day or two where you can't put your one arm above your head yet And then it starts to come back to you, and you are fucking there's no way he's gonna do it again So one more Gareth will you be Jay? Brittany will you be Brittany and be a little bit a little bit more sharp when the pain happens. It's not a slow thing It's a shooting pain. Okay. Okay. All right.

And that shooting pain doesn't go away until he leaves the room. Okay. Hey babe, just got back from the class with the other guys who were having midlife crises and we hung out. A lot of them are like 10 years younger than me, but they placate me,

so they let me get into my little wardrobe and I go out there and I play around with them I'm about two weeks away from having to retire because of what it it does to my body. I'm not physically there anymore I'm so deteriorated at this point Sorry, hey babe Alright, so let me let me show you what I what I learned in there today I don't have any friends with me. so I'm gonna try it on my wife. Pathetic? Maybe to some, but not to me.

All right, so I'm gonna put my arm behind you here, and then give me your forearm, and I'm gonna kind of arm bar you and hold you back here. And then you sort of twist it like this, right? And that's, that, what? Ow, ow, ow. Are you faking? What? Ow, fuck.

What? Sorry, are you really hurt? Yeah, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. All right, sorry, let me get you, I'll get you something to massage it out. I'm gonna go to the kitchen. All right, I'm on my way to the kitchen. What am I trying to fill inside of myself that I'll never be able to? Stop! So, Brittany, I think we've got a winner here.

I do too. That was much better, that was great. And the thing that I'm trying to fill is Pam. Hold on, I'm just reading my notes. That doesn't say that. It says fake hurt. I'm sorry, I read that wrong. I saw fake hurt. I thought it said Phil Pam. No, that's fake hurt. My bad. So, Brittany, are you going to try this? That's the worst thing you've said on this show. Will you please follow up?

And Brittany, if you can get a voice note of this. Like if he goes, here's how you could possibly do it. If he goes, hey, can I try something? Pretend you're texting, go give me a sec, I just need to finish this text. And then hit voice note recording go like alright just do it I guess okay you can be holding your phone in his hand he's doing it but if we could hear the back and forth it would just put it on the counter even it'll pick it up it would be spectacular I agree I have documentation at this

moment and he doesn't listen to the show or anything right? We'll be fine. No he doesn't. Okay good. We'll be fine. He's a cool guy who doesn't listen to jibs, he's not listening to this dork stuff. Jake, listen to what you just said. See you later Brittany, appreciate ya. Who are you? The Gareth Reynolds podcast. Nerdfest. Thank you Brittany. Keep us posted. Alright. I will. Alright, thank you. Bye. Today's episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Alma. Look, we here at the show, we love, we support Alma because we recognize that your mental health, your mental health care, however you want to phrase it, is very, very important.

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If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. brought to you by Booking.com. Plan options available, taxes and fees, extra, see Mint Mobile for details. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. yeah. Whenever I'm looking to travel, I do use Booking.com to find my hotel. I find it to be very easy and very helpful. I went to New York, I went to San Francisco, and most recently I went to Portland, and I used Booking.com to make that trip easy. Or I should say to make those trips.

I go to Booking.com, I go through the search engine, I find exactly what I want, I'm using the Booking.com app. I'm all over the place, baby. I don't know why I said baby. There are many search engines, ways to figure out if you're looking for a hotel or a vacation rental. They're throwing options your way. That's why we say Booking.com, yeah, with such vigor, because we believe in it.

I right now am in a van in Oklahoma City. And I'm not kidding. And you're like, Gareth, that sounds pathetic. Well, it does because I went out of my way to use Booking.com and I'm so excited at the place I'm going to after the show because it's got a kitchen, it's got two bedrooms for me and the people that I'm so excited at the place I'm going to after the show because it's got a kitchen, it's got two bedrooms for me and the people that I'm traveling with. It truly just makes it easy. You know what you're getting. I can't tell you how many times if a club books my place, I'm like, what is happening

here? What year is this hotel from? There's one elevator that's out of order. One's not, you know what I mean? It's tough, but that's not not gonna happen when you use booking.com So I'm telling you you could find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah Hello Hi there. How are you?

I'm good. Thank you. I recognize this voice. Yeah Okay, so my child Well from my childhood international school no wrong. Yeah, we follow up. Did you do I say who I am? Well, from my childhood, international school. No, wrong. Yeah. You're a follow-up. Did you go to Mackenzie? Stop.

Jake, where's Mackenzie located? South London. What, like what area? Forth and Cathedral. Forth and Cathedral. Holy shit. What's your name and can you tell us your first call, please? Sure.

My name's Roley. I'm in London. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The woman who, the woman on the your first call please? Sure. My name is Rolly. I'm in London. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The woman who, the woman on the corner who. Filthy woman. Yeah. Dernaix. Yes.

Yep. Okay. Rolly, walk us through, obviously anybody, there'll be the thing you could listen to the original episode, but walk us through what happened Rolly and what we pitched and what you did. Sure. So, yeah, in the morning I go for a walk and this lady, she finds me and she says some really disturbingly gross things to me. So you guys suggested lots of great suggestions. The two ones we went with were firstly to film her to see if it made her self-conscious.

And if that didn't work, to put a flyer together to see if there are any more big tales of these crimes. I'm going to say, in listening, I hope the first one worked. So do I. I'm very excited for the results. I really hope we're not world-building in creating a community on this one. I am very excited. Oh, God. Gareth, what's your guess?

Hold on, before you get into it, Gareth, what's your guess? You know, my heart wants to say that the filming stopped it, Yeah. but my gut makes me feel like she finds a way around that and maybe we go with the flyers. Really, what happened? So the filming was brilliant. It worked so well. I was surprised at how well it worked. I didn't even really have to film.

I just got my phone out and like aimed in her direction with the camera on and she was just very confused by it. And instead of saying all her usual stuff, she was just like, she pretty much just got befuddled by it and was just sort of waffling about why I'd be filming and it it was working like an absolute dream. So late! Like she pretty much just got befuddled by it and was just sort of waffling about why I'd be filming and it It was working like an absolute dream why like uh, like honestly like so much better than I thought but unfortunately, um Just a few days ago at the beginning of this week I saw her coming and so I popped my phone out and got the camera on like usual thing

and um And so I popped my phone out and got the camera on like usual thing. And, um, a couple of ladies whose kids, uh, like play in the park came over to me and very nicely asked why I was always filming around the park. Yeah, it really, um, I don't know how it occurred to me, but it wasn't a great thing to do They were super nice about it and um, I didn't want to subject them to you know, what I've told you guys The pedophiles excuse of course like a maniac excuse so this is the beginning of a romantic comedy Well, I did a judgment judgment, but I did. I got very lucky that during like, at the moment, basically, there's a big national campaign to take pictures and film all the birds around where you live.

So they can count what lived where. And so I totally lied and said I was doing that. And it worked like a dream. Walk us through what happened. Will you be the ladies and will you be you so we can get a sense of that interaction? Yeah, sure. So I was just walking alongside the park, not in it,

but playgrounds all over it. And so I saw the lady sort of not too far away, but coming down the path. So I got my phone out and just put the camera on. So it's clear that you can see that my phone's like, it looks like it's recording but I'd set the camera on. And then these two ladies sort of came beside me and said, excuse me. And they really were polite. They were like, oh, we don't need to be accusatory. I think they said something like that. But we were wondering why you always seem to be filming in the park. And yeah, I was like instantly started sweating and felt awful,

like some sort of creepy guy. But but luckily they were like, oh, we've been meaning to take pictures of the birds around where we live, too. And they were super chill about it. But it does mean that now I'm not taking my phone like out of my pocket when I'm in the park. Because you can't and just point it at the birds. Go the birds go birds birds birds vulgar old lady birds birds birds Yeah, I mean to be honest. It's just pigeons in there

Yeah And you has she does she even approach you is there any look like she's looking at you or have you kind of set? The precedent where she's not even bothering to go in your direction now? So she was still coming over regularly. But like, she's sort of got, it was like really fell down a lot. It was like, she pretty much just mumbled something or like get up semi close to me. But now that my phone's gone, she's like, really come back with both barrels. Like, it's like I don't know Under or something like she's been saying some really crazy stuff really well is this again?

I gotta ask because we're starting to enter a world where it's almost feeling too heightened Is this right? Yeah, it is. Yeah along the same lines of the stuff that I said she was saying last time So well first she said oh you put your phone away or something like that and then yeah It's been a few days. It's only been a few days, but it's been she's really been making it for a lot of time Okay, I got to okay, that's what I would do. One of two things. I was just going to ask if you wanted to because you guys suggested the Flyer.

And I said at the end of the call would you guys like to help me write it which is really what I was wondering. Well, I still like the Flyer. I hate the Flyer. The Flyer is scary, man. The only worry is now that you've sort of said to these other people what you're doing But I the only worry is the only worry is now that you've sort of

Said to these other people what you're doing it kind of you it murkies what you're doing a little You're this would be my old weird guy man You're you're playing a few plot lines, which maybe isn't great for a guy who said he was just filming birds Here's what I would do you can buy a tiny little like you could you could buy for 50 bucks You could buy a pair of glasses that will film don't be that guy near a park when you lie and say you film birds No, yeah You could very easily know that those are spy call. Let me let me just throw a little pepper in the stew. Okay Put you wear these glasses or whatever.

You get a little camera that isn't your phone cameras basically what I'm suggesting. The woman will approach you, she'll say something filthy. Then you have footage of it. I would put that on your phone and have that as a video on your phone. The next time you walk and the woman starts to approach you, even if she says something or not,

take out your phone, show her the footage of her saying something filthy and say, I have evidence of you being vulgar to me in this park. Don't do it again. I like it. Yeah, I think that's I like it except for the glasses. Probably. Did you ever film her before?

Did you ever catch her? No, I felt quite bad about that. Like, so I just had my phone camera on. You were using it as a prop. Yeah. So here's what we need to do. Here's what we need to do. And you're on very thin ice, young man.

I know, I'm like almost feeling like I wanna just not go on walks anymore. I mean, I- God damn it, don't. You're staying in that park. My first pitch would be, it's time to stop these walks, because I'll tell you why. Okay, yeah, or maybe just move on from the park.

But I'll tell you why. If I'm at that park and I'm seeing a weird guy filming the kids, and then I'm like, I don't know about this guy. And then one of the moms goes, we asked him, he said he's filming birds, and I go, well, there's only pigeons here. I'm getting really close to a weird confrontation

where I'm like, this guy's coming back, now he's wearing robo cop glasses. So there's a pitch now to have the video of her as evidence in your hands. Because then I go, hey my man, what fucking pigeon you filming now, all I see is a bunch of kids you creep. And then you're in a world of trouble going,

no, there's an older lady who says disgusting things to me. And I go, you're the older lady, man. You don't wanna be the vulgar older lady to this park as she is to you. You know, at the end of our show, when we say we're not legally responsible, it's for this call, Gareth. I think it feels like a bit of a slippery slope.

Rolling, I gotta tell you, we're playing with real life here. What's your self-pitch, Rollie? Yes. This one's dangerous, my man. What do you think you should do? I really, I'm not sure. So Rollie, when you think of the flyer idea, what are your thoughts of it? I wasn't, again. I wasn't sure

You guys mentioned it last time Her Saying if this harasses you email me. No just have you has there been an older Older bird in the park who's been sort of coming up saying things theregar things to you. Stay away from birds in parks. Yeah. Because now we want to disc it. How close? A bit, a crumpet. Yeah, how bit is the kids' park to this woman? How big is it?

How close is it? Oh, she lives right on the edge of it. Oh my god. So always filming her, you're going in the direction of the park no matter what. But we can't let the direction of the park no matter what. But we can't let the predator run the park. I mean what only would we do? Here's the problem with this premise. We might have two potential predators.

At the park they think our hero is the predator. Which is why he's getting the spy glasses. How many times do we have the circle of perfect solution like spy glasses? Spy glasses, all of a sudden a guy who gets confronted about being a predator with weird new glasses with like a tiny light on the left hand corner. The light's on the inside,

you can't see it from the outside. But then he's gonna have a technical problem with it. When they talk to him, all of a sudden It's gonna go like recording recording recording recording Recording and he's gonna not know the technology and go like oh my god, and then she's gonna He they're gonna go why are you filming this and he's gonna go I'm not the parents recording He's gonna go like put your stick in my filthy hole, and they're gonna be like both you guys This is a really you're in a possible nightmare. I don't think we create, I just don't think we do flyers.

I agree. So are we leaving the park? No, you go, Rolly. I was just gonna say one of my friends had those ray guns with the camera in and you could say that was a camera in there. We're not doing that. We're not gonna get the right hands. We're not doing a hidden camera near a kids park ever.

Well, don't put it like that. That's what it is. Don't put it like that. So never approve of that. We're not filming that for the last goddamn time. So now you're back to walking and this woman is back to harassing you and what do we do now?

And I hate when the victim has to make an adjustment because it isn't fair. You should be able to walk down this street, but I am at the point where I kind of feel like, and I know I remember from the first call, this is the only path you like. You know what I might do? I might have a sign. What's the sign say, sir? Stop harassing me.

Nah, buddy. Let me be Jake to Jake for a second. Go ahead. So you're just gonna walk around this park with a weird sign that says stop harassing me after two days ago you said you were just there to film birds? You're gonna look like a crazy deranged, you're gonna look like an old timey hobo on drugs. Yeah that's no good. My last pitch would be wear some air pods and when you just have to walk by the flames, go through it.

You like to walk, blast some music, blare her out. Do you feel physically afraid of her? I, no, not really, no. You don't feel unsafe. It's more of an annoyance. Okay, so she is assaulting your ears, but you do not feel in danger because that's a big distinction If you felt in danger, we're in a different world But you don't the people confronting you really took a lot of our power away all of it

It really our pitch is always to be the people confronting So that's why I would go AirPods, ignore, one last pitch, record audio only and have an audio file. Okay. Well, I just think the, any technology, Gareth, after being that guy at the park. Well, they're not going to be like you're going to your apartment and like making a file a kid laughs. Who knows what these creeps do?

Okay. All right. Hold on. So you're saying basically put your phone in your pocket with a voice note recording. Then walk by the park. If she says it, then you've got it. Or you just get it to get it. And then the next time she does it, you say, I've got evidence of you harassing me.

Stop it. Honestly, don't hate it. Yeah, I didn't mind it. Do you think you'd pick it up from the pocket? Yes. Well, you could ask you were holding the phone in your hand Yes, by the way, that's the move Yeah, I don't mind it I don't I would say she seems to lack logic a little bit But I definitely think it's probably worth a go. It might be well then we have I think I just give up on the park Yeah, then we move then we go to our last ditch.

So let's do this. I think let's go with Gareth's idea really. Let's have it in your phone, have it on your phone. Your phone is in your hand, closer to her house, but you are clearly not filming. If she starts harassing, just put your hand out a little bit. Just stop. It'll pick it up. But just stop. And then I would say, the next day, play it for her and just go, look,

I have a few of these built up, stop. I don't want to go to the police. But I will. Right, and hopefully that'll confuse her like the filming did. I think so too. It'll be just enough and also, then obviously by the time you get to even near the park

Put that phone in your pocket big guy try the audio Save the audio. Yeah and call us back with another update because we need to close the book on this Yes, and by the way, you know what you could also do if she's if she know If she's harassing you while you have the phone in your hand, tell her, I'm recording the audio. No, I don't hate it either. I'm recording it. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah. I'm recording it. You can see it too. If you go to your home screen, it will show that it's like a running audio. And then go, I'm recording it. By the way, hold on. You know what you actually do? If the ladies confront you again, tell them about the podcast, tell them the episode number

and go, there's an easier way to explain this. I need you to listen to this podcast. I feel very uncomfortable. And then go like this, but I promise you it's fun. It's lighter than you expect. It's sillier and But that's what I would do

I would tell them to listen to the podcast so that they can be part of the fun I would not try to explain it in the moment around their kids and then I would say like but don't listen around the kids because It is vulgar so that they know like oh, he's being ultra sensitive. Then they hear the problem. They get the camera. I Think that is actually a big solve. I think this works. Right? And then so you're doing that. And then if you see them, you tell them that to go like,

just to be clear what happened. And then maybe we have the ladies on as a followup. Yeah, sure, let's get crazy. Maybe we have the lady from the park. If those women, if the moms ever hear this podcast, email the show. We'll get the point of view of what you thought when you saw our podcast. We're sorry about the impressions of you. All right, Rolly.

I'm not sorry about my end. Where are you from again? South London, Fourth Cathedral. Went to international school, spent a little time in South Africa. The South Africa part. And the Netherlands. The South Africa part. Literally, Rolly just got added because one of our callers was from South Africa.

Thank you for the call. Please follow up with us. Okay, thanks so much guys. I really appreciate it. This is going to work. This is going to be fun. Cheers. Thank you. Thanks fun. Cheers. Thanks buddy. Thanks. Bye. South Africa. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod to see our entire catalog. We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh, the cover artwork is by James Fostike. Animations by Andrew Strilecki.

And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethrentholds.com. Remember all of the advice given on we're here to help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. ["Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight Fight fight Fight fight Fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.