We're Here to Help - 27: Kell Yes!

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

Jake and Gareth follow up with Kelly from episode 8 (“Anyway, How Are Your Kids”) about the elaborate story at her high school reunion.   Check out our We’re Here to Help sweatshirts,... hats, and tote bags at heretohelppod.com! Want to call in? Email your question to helpfulpod@gmail.com. If you’re enjoying the show, make sure to rate We’re Here to Help 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 And we're back! Hey! What a cute haircut! Oh, thanks. I just found out, as a man in Australia, you're in Wednesday and I'm in Tuesday. Yeah. And that's cool. Wild stuff is coming your way, buddy.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Really? Is Wednesday cool? Oh, yeah. I can't tell you because of the time continuum, but buckle up, dude. You have a huge Tuesday. I'm in Tuesday. You mean Wednesday or Tuesday night. Yeah. into wednesday morning you have an amazing just buckle up hi jake i'll say drink a lot of water drink a lot of water i'll do it right now yeah so gareth you are in australia
Starting point is 00:01:00 this is going to drop on thursday where can they see you on Friday? In Canberra and Brisbane. And then you can see me in Sydney next week. Before we get into the pitch of today's episode, which is a little bit complicated. Yes. There was something that you had said in an earlier episode. Very attracted to your mother. I've not ever met her in person or done a podcast with her, but obviously your mother is gorgeous and I'm her in person or done a podcast with her but obviously your mother is gorgeous and i'm into her as well just so you know i can hook that up and i will call you dad well this is not happening anymore and so without further ado daddy i'd like
Starting point is 00:01:37 to introduce you to my mother a woman that you are attracted to and creeping out on. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Eve Johnson, please join the pod. Hello, can you hear me? Hi, Mom. How are you? I'm good. And I will say this. Jake starts the shit all the time. I agree.
Starting point is 00:02:00 He's a terrible son. And I think as a dad. Since he's been nine years old. Yeah. Yeah. Mom mom this isn't going the direction we were hoping he's a real hold on jake we're talking now let's just get into you he is a real shitster does he get that from you no no no no he gets that he was born with that that was he was but mom how do you feel about gareth saying that he's sexually attracted to you? Well, you know, as soon as I saw that little clip, I knew what you have done in the past.
Starting point is 00:02:32 What have I done in the past? I agree, Eve. You killed on his mother. You have killed on his mother. Eve, can I just say, it's so nice to talk to someone in Jake's family who has empathy and understanding, because really, while you have a lovely voice and I have seen you and you are a very attractive woman, I would never take it there unless Jake hadn't sort of, again, stirred the shit, as you said.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Yeah. As soon as I said, why am I on this? And as soon as you said that, I said, he has constantly talked about this man's mother. Well, yeah. Well, there's truth. Well, that's different, mom, because Pam and I have a relationship we've met. We've socialized. And now, Jake, what you're doing is you're taking it in that direction again. And we're all sort of saying that that's kind of the genesis of this whole thing. So, mom, can I interrupt for a second? Sure, Jake.
Starting point is 00:03:27 As the woman whose first home was your body, I thank you for being here. What a wild way to put that. I don't know if anyone's ever put it like that. Well, he's put it
Starting point is 00:03:36 in other terms that you don't want to hear. You don't want to hear. Well, I lived inside of that. I lived inside of that woman for a few months. Okay, bud. All right.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I lived, my fuel came from her bosom. Yes, yes, it did. I'm not. Okay. And I love her for it and I appreciate it. And the thing is that every mother now he's in love with. Yeah. There's your mother, Kevin's mother.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Okay, let's move it on, Mom. You're getting a little bit too real, Mom. I got a mom thing. He's such a filthy angler that he'll do anything to get a leg up. And I love Jake, but it is definitely a tell. Did you just say I'll do everything to get a leg up in terms of your mother? Hey, Gareth, not when my mom's on this. Jake, Jake, Jake.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I will not do anything to get a leg up on your mom. By the way, I think a little less fuel in his childhood would have probably long-term behooved everybody. Yes, it would have helped. Garrett, will you please pitch to my mom the missing call? So we have a fun episode. It's based off episode eight, which was the woman who was going to her high school reunion. She asked for us to tell her a lie that she could tell at the reunion. So if you have not heard episode eight, we recommend listening to that first.
Starting point is 00:04:49 And then we've got the two follow-ups. But Garfman, will you tell my mom what happened on that first call a little bit? It's just, again, an honor to talk to you, Eve, publicly or privately. But essentially what this call is, yeah, I mean, you set it up pretty well there, Jake. We talked to Kelly, who had a reunion to go to, wasn't really excited about it. So we decided that we could spike the punch a little bit in the pitch of what she would do. with this story about going to Madonna's and having a wild time where people were drinking strange punch. There was a bit of a... They turned pretty sexual pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:05:36 There were Burger King fries. Yep, yep. And then so we planned it. And then in this episode, we get to hear what happened after yeah because she went to a reunion with that so mom just for a second here sweet mommy and you can call me babies well what my what my mother and i do is i call her mommy and she calls me sweet baby no no none of this is true none of this is true. Just so many lies.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Lies, lies, forget lies, lies upon lies. Hey, Dad, will you stop getting on me? I'm just talking to Mom. I can't stay with you. Hey, Mom, can you say, without further ado, enjoy the show? Enjoy the show. Have a good time. Do not believe anything Jake says about growing up. Wonderful. taking direction.
Starting point is 00:06:26 You and I have that in common. Don't stick to the script either. Any director I've ever worked with goes, now we know where that fucking guy gets it. She did not even listen to the direction. Mom, would you say without further ado? Sure. You know what? Have fun. My kid's a liar.
Starting point is 00:06:44 I love potato chips fuck off there you go one take one and done goodbye love you thank you eve have a good show thank you bless you kelly what a photo you've got you with a disco ball and a neon sign that says Kel Yes? That's me. Kel Yes it is. Kel Yes. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Well, thank you for calling us back. Is it Kevin? Are we just with Kelly or is anybody else on? Ashley is with us and then Kelly's husband is with her on their Zoom. And then Kelly, what's your husband's name? Sean. Sean, are you on too, bud? I sure am.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Okay, great. Hi there. Just to recap to the audience where we're at on this one. Kelly, you called in because you're going to your high school reunion. And you didn't just want to have a boring experience. You wanted to spice it up, right? That's right. And so we came up with a lie that you could maybe tell people that would be the talk of the reunion if everybody believed it. Spike the punch. Spike the punch, if you will. And then you got into it, said you wanted to do it, and we advised, or maybe you suggested,
Starting point is 00:08:11 I can't remember, but we needed your friends and your inner circle to be in on it too, if it was really going to sell, correct? That is correct. So what have you told Sean and Ashley and guys, welcome to the podcast and where are you guys all at with it? We get a breakdown of where you guys are at with us. Yes. So I have told them basically what you just said, that we've kind of come up with this kind of crazy story that I have sold art to Madonna and went to her house and so on. And yeah, ask them if they would go along with it.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Yeah, my mom reached out because of her prep work on Instagram with some cryptic messages. My mom reached out and was like, where was Kelly flying to? Wait, hold on, Sean. Sean, you jumped ahead. Kelly, you did Instagram work? Kelly! I was hoping I wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:09:17 I'm hoping I haven't gone too far. No, never. Okay, so we need to slow down and catch up a little bit. What have you done since we've last talked to you? You utter maniac in the best of ways. You're on fucking Instagram. You're in fake life.
Starting point is 00:09:37 If Jake is telling you you're a maniac, things are wild. Kelly, by the way, you are a favorite. So what have you done on Instagram? Okay. So I basically just vague posted. I took a picture of a previous flight. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm the person taking pictures off the window if I have. And so I shared a picture of clouds and it just said something like obligatory cloud post chase your dreams I can't believe this is happening
Starting point is 00:10:12 oh my god Kelly yes yeah you're on board with this that's perfect we're so on board we're taking pictures out of the window. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:29 So, you said, I can't believe this is happening. Right. Wow. And then it was, chase your dreams? Chase your dreams, which is just good general advice. Agreed. How can you wrap your head around going to madonna's house and party it that's incredible
Starting point is 00:10:46 and all you can kind of say to yourself on that plane is girl chase those trains that's right okay great so that was that one post it was one post um i did make another one previously inspired by um kevin's just his his french fry story about the perfect fries. Okay. What was that? Just because, so like, as you can see from my picture, like I'm into, like, that's part of what I do is I put disco tiles on like everything that stands still long enough.
Starting point is 00:11:18 So I made like a box of fries and disco French fries. And I just kind of said like, like you know i'm so excited to be i can't say who this is for but i'm really excited to be working for them this is oh my god it is just let us just say how proud we are that we just thought this was going to take place at one event. You are what they call foaming the runway. Also, Gareth, can I say one other thing? Sean, be careful, my man. You married a wildcat. You know, this just seemed normal, but now seeing your all's reaction,
Starting point is 00:12:01 you're questioning my reality. This is big. it's wild so then sean so when she when uh kelly told you this plan what were your first thoughts honestly my first thoughts were that's hilarious i'm glad that she had a great time you know talking to you guys on uh the pod and getting advice but i kind of figured it was gonna fizzle out um yeah for sure yeah she's committed to it i'm i'm ready to rock and roll this thing so as her as her kind of partner in this you're on board 100 yeah whatever she needs okay i'm ready to lie to some strangers you know sean we like it ashley yes welcome to the podcast thank you. When your friend Kelly told you her game plan, what were your thoughts? I was like, hell yes. I think this is hilarious. It's going to make
Starting point is 00:12:54 the reunion so much less more boring. I'm all for it. So then Ashley, will you pretend you're in a group of people and somebody says to you, did you hear about what Kelly was doing? Yeah. I'm going to be like, it was crazy. And then pretend they say to you and pretend you're at the party for a second. And they say, what do you know about? I heard something about Madonna. Is that even true? What did she do? Can you describe what Kelly's life is and what happened at the party as one of her good friends from your point of view without her around? Well, I told Kelly, I said, we can make this believable because she's went to Vegas like multiple times last year. Cause no one's going
Starting point is 00:13:34 to believe that you met a celebrity in Kentucky, obviously. But yeah, I'm just going to be like, yeah, I've heard some really crazy stories. She went to a party, seen some crazy stuff. I'll just revert them back to Kelly. Like, you don't talk to her. I don't even want to talk about it. But Ashley, what have you heard? Oh, so I got to make something up. No, you don't have to make it up. Okay, good. So you don't have details yet, correct? No, we haven't really discussed details. Wonderful. Sean, if you're separated from your wife, the way these things happen, Adam, and somebody goes, Hey man, brother to brother, just two guys sitting by the fruit punch bowl. What happened here?
Starting point is 00:14:15 Is she full of shit? And you go, no. And then he goes, what happened? What would you tell? Do you have details? Oh, I can't give you too many details. There's, uh, there's an nda in place so no see here's what okay here's what's happening guys this story's becoming swiss cheese because
Starting point is 00:14:33 there's not an nda in place oh okay okay so good i'm glad you guys called kelly will you please tell Ashley and Sean what happened at your party? I will. Basically, she had to cancel her tour, right? And she just sold her home at 24220 Long Valley Road in Hidden Hills, California. How did you find all this? Through my Google search history. Incredible. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:09 did my google search history incredible okay okay i i feel like we handed michael jordan a basketball like all we did was we were just like hey dribble this and it's like sorry what's going on right now so she wants to have one last party there so then we're all just kind of hanging out. There are a few of her neighbors are also there. Rod Stewart showed up. He just got back from a trip to Spain. Lionel Richie, he's bringing the Burger King. He's got more French fries than I've ever seen in one place so that she can have her perfect fries. And so, yeah, we're just kind of hanging out and I'm just like in awe of everything going on around me. And I have some of this punch, you know, that was just kind of out. I really didn't think twice about it.
Starting point is 00:15:59 And somebody like kind of gave me a look and they were like, oh, are're, are you sure you went? And I was like, yeah, of course it's a punch. It's fine. So anyway, things started to get a little weird. Not long after that, I noticed that like, you know, clothes were missing from people. Like people are starting to get a little, a little loose. Things are starting to happen.
Starting point is 00:16:22 People are kind of breaking off. So anyway, next thing I know, next thing I know, there's, do you remember downtown Julie Brown? Yes. Yeah. So she wasn't there, but her sister Sharon was. And so Sharon Brown and Rod Stewart are now naked. And he just keeps like screaming at her something like, you don't know what football is. You know, I don't know what they were talking about, but.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Okay. So Julie, Julie Brown's sister, Shannon and Rod Stewart are having sex. And then what happens? having sex. And then what happens? I do remember that as I was leaving Lionel Richie kept trying to hand me a bottle of his new cologne, which is actually called easy, like Sunday morning.
Starting point is 00:17:17 I didn't make that part up. That's amazing. Your research is incredible. Yeah. Keep going. This is all amazing. Your research is incredible. Yeah, keep going. This is all very good, by the way. Yeah, like we took the 101, got on the 405, and then we hopped onto our plane at LAX to head home. I didn't even get to rest, you guys.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Sean, I think if it comes to it, you should not like Lionel Richie. You should feel like lionel richie maybe was pushing things a little much kind of gives you the creeps from what you've heard and ashley maybe your angle is that you love kelly but this side of kelly seems a little hollywood to you um that can be maybe why you're not super into the details. You know the story, but you just kind of like to stay a little separated from it. Does that seem real, Ashley? Could you sell that?
Starting point is 00:18:16 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think I could. While Kelly was talking, I was writing down notes because I feel like that was a lot to remember. So I can just say. But Ashley, you're also allowed to say like, of course, my girl told me all this. Honestly, that whole side of her life is too crazy for me. So I don't even know something about a Madonna party and Lyle Ritchie.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Mystery punch. Mystery, who the hell knows? And you could even do that like sideways gossip where you go like, I just know I wouldn't be drinking mystery punch at some party, but I'm not Kelby. Yeah, right. So then you go to the party and are we assuming there's like 250 to 500 type people? Let's make it big. So it's not weird that you were invited.
Starting point is 00:19:02 It was a big party. Okay. What do you think of that i think that works and that kind of makes sense that there would be so many different just weird random people there exactly right and so for in your head the imagery there was like valet parking there was caterers it was like a big band it felt like a grammy's party it's like a wedding yeah it's big it's big everybody's around madonna's there you talk to her briefly uh but it's more just kind of randomness and you kind of knew the punch something was up i don't think i
Starting point is 00:19:42 would do it if i were you like it was random. I would almost lean into the idea that you knew this was like the magic punch, if you will. Right? So there's no bad guys. It's not like you got drugged, which everyone has to be worried about. It's more, Kel, yes, you were there to party. Kelly, party. So we don't want you to be a victim of this party. We want you to be a party girl who had a great experience. Okay. So maybe there's like an upstairs, downstairs element. The upstairs party was crazier. The downstairs was tamer. And you went upstairs and there was like, everybody was smoking weed. Everybody was like a different party. And up there in some of those rooms is where like the orgy was and it
Starting point is 00:20:31 got too crazy for you. It sure did. How does that all kind of sound as like a place for you? It sounds very doable. It makes sense to me. I think I can remember that and work with that. Yeah. So how are you feeling about where we're at in this story? I'm feeling good. Sean, how are you feeling? I feel good, too.
Starting point is 00:21:00 If we're trying to poke holes, my initial, we are, my initial question is how, how did you and Madonna get, get together? How did she start getting your art? Like, where did that. Great question. Kelly, do you have Instagram? I do. Do you post stuff, your art on your Instagram?
Starting point is 00:21:19 I do. Then you could say somebody reached out one of Madonna's assistants and you sold a piece to them. So it could even get a little crazier than that. One of our Vegas, she took playing cards and put art on them and then had a note on it that if you scanned it, went to her store for her art. And then we walked all over Vegas putting these playing cards with her art and the coat on it all over the place. So wonderful. Why don't we start it that David Copperfield got one of those and in his magic shows was using Kelly's cards. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:56 And it was like a part of like her cards were part of like a Vegas thing. But she never socialized with Copperfield. Why? Because he's a fucking weirdo when he sends emails it's all lowercase he doesn't use punctuation and he legit makes up words and he ends he ends every email with ta-da David Copperfield and so so Copperfield the cards led to one of somebody from Madonna's team reaching out and then you didn't know any of this and the next thing you know Madonna bought like four pieces at once and that's what started it yeah and don't be afraid to pimp her into the story if she's
Starting point is 00:22:39 standing somewhere talking to somebody and you could tell she's bored go is she telling you about the Madonna thing and Kelly goes like stop and go if I were you I would ask from the outside I'm feeling pretty good on this Gareth you feeling anything feeling real good I feel like we've got good players and I feel very confident in Kelly and that really is the main tent pole in all of this. She's the North Star. So I think, yeah, I think, you know, when in doubt, don't be afraid to say, I don't even remember what happened. Kelly's got it in her head. Kelly's been the one posting. This is something that actually happened to Kelly. Yes. So, you know, I think but I think you're all they're very great side players in this story and group. Good luck. Today's episode is brought to you by Babbel.
Starting point is 00:23:39 That's right, Jake. Listen, you know what Babbel is, right? Science-backed language learning app that actually works, which I find to be very important. Science-backed, Jake. Listen, don't bother paying hundreds of dollars for a private tutor. They come over, they're like asking for snacks, they're being annoying, or even waste hours on apps that don't really help. We're here to help, and Babbel is going to help you. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations.
Starting point is 00:24:06 So, Jake, for instance, if you want to learn, I started relearning French through Babbel a little bit. Yes, because I used to know French, but then I don't know French, but it's still there. You know what I like about it is that it's got a speech recognition technology. Yep. Because the problem with learning a new language
Starting point is 00:24:25 is if you sound like you're from another country. Yes. If it can actually help with the accent, that's a big-ass turn. And applicable to situations you're going to find yourself in. When I think back to taking French, it was just so much of it. It was like, I'm never going to do that.
Starting point is 00:24:42 It's like, how do you order food? How do you get a drink? How do you ask for directions? But so Babbel's great. Now, listen, listen, everybody. Should we bring him in? Right. One quick pause.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Should we bring in the close? Studies from Yale. This is interesting. Michigan State University and others prove that Babbel is better. So one study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. So if that's true, which Yale's no joke, it's just putting schooling in a different light. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:11 If you spend 15 hours, let's say you didn't go to college and you always feel like, well, I don't know. I didn't go to college. 15 hours. You just did a semester. Yeah. That's wild. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:22 That's a wild study. So speaking of language, should we bring in the closer or should I do it? Closer. All right, hold on. Let's get him. Kevin? Door's open. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Oh, you meant Gil. I meant Kevin. What? I thought Kevin was going to do it. No, I thought we were talking about the closer. Well, you were. He parked in front of all our cars, so might as well. Oh, we can't leave.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Well, what's the problem? Go ahead. So that old jalopy is Gil's? Yes. And you can turn it off, I guess. Nah, keep it running. It's bad for a lot of smoke. I'm pausing a serious accent. Now listen, here's a special limited time deal for our
Starting point is 00:26:00 listeners. Right now get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners. This isn't for people who don't listen like laura from one of the calls earlier these are standalone at babble.com slash hth jake let me finish get 55 off babble.com slash hth spelled b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash hth we're gonna watch you to babble we want you to babble i'll tell you what i don't want to babble your ear off i gotta go back to the jalopy rules and restrictions this episode is brought to you by zocdoc zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Garth, what does that mean to you?
Starting point is 00:26:53 Well, it means a lot because as you know, my mother was in town for a while. She had a hip replacement and it was crazy. It was a crazy situation. And there were so many times, so many things like complications were popping up. And there were so many times, so many things like complications were popping up. And there were multiple times where we wanted to find a doctor appointment quickly somewhere close. You use that doc. Yeah. You would use that doc because it's just so much harder if you're just like, you know,
Starting point is 00:27:17 like using search engines to try to find someone. And then you call. Do they take your insurance? But the problem has it's all there for all the problem with also just searching it is all the ads pop up yes and what i like i actually use zocdoc we since we started doing it i do like that it keeps it really clean and you could put all your information in yeah did you use zocdoc for your knee i did use zocdoc for my knee which i am going to get an mri on But we don't think it's a tear.
Starting point is 00:27:45 That's the good news. But I am going to get an MRI. The doctor report back, it's just an old man's knee. It's actually pretty much what it sounded like. That's what a doctor said to me about my hips. I'm getting to the point where it's sad when doctors are just like, yeah, you're just the... He goes, I've had a doctor who looked at my body and then went like this. Well, you're mid-40s, yeah?
Starting point is 00:28:02 Ugh, what a jerk. Well, that guy's hopefully not on zoc doc but but again it really does it filters specifically for doctors that take your insurance located near you treat basically and again you can get an appointment quickly you can also get it same day that's absolutely right jake if you're lucky uh that's right gil buchanan ones and two 68 balmy don't worry about it that's right i've been kept in the closet for a while on this show but i'm back for the ads good to to see you, brother. You literally never left.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Wherever the best time in the world, go to ZocDoc.com slash HTH and download the ZocDoc app for free. Did you hear how much that costs? Free. Free. That's right. And then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash H-T-H. ZocDoc.com slash H-T-H. Hello? Kelly, you're back on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:28:57 You did the reunion. This is our final update. Let us know how it went. What a ride. What a ride. What a ride. You've been on. We've been on. How did it go?
Starting point is 00:29:10 I think it went well. I was able to tell a few people this crazy story. Okay. I was able to record some of that. We got one of the videos. Kevin will play the audio when we're airing this one he'll play it right here it was just 500 she like pull you out right yeah she flew me out i'm like you're fucking madonna like i can't get you know what i'm saying like yeah
Starting point is 00:29:37 she's got all the money yeah yeah and well i had to the last night because i didn't have a room because i was just supposed to stay Monday, Tuesday night. But then the party was Wednesday. So, I mean, I didn't sleep. Like, that's the other thing. Like, people were fucking. Like, it was like L.A. weird. Like, it was not like.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Kentucky weird. No. Daniel, we went to kindergarten together. Like, do you think this is normal? Like, this is not normal for me. Right. So like, I'm not fucking sleeping. So go ahead. So did it kind of fill the hole we were kind of attempting to fill in any way? did because so the first time I was able to tell my friend I've known him since kindergarten we don't keep in close touch these days but you know we go way back and he was he seemed really skeptical at first but then he was just kind of like wow yeah okay okay wow and was kind of going along with it well not long after, he brought someone else to me and was like, tell her what you were just telling me. He was like, tell her,
Starting point is 00:30:52 tell her about the fries. Cause I had mentioned the fries. Yeah. So I got a question for you, Callie. Up until this point, you have been fired up. You've been excited. You've been charged up. Now I have a sense of like the game was played and maybe you didn't win. Am I misreading? Am I misleading? Where are you at here? Because I know Kelly from the calls as you're ready. your friends are ready. Now there's a different tone. And I'm wondering what the hell happened. Where are we at?
Starting point is 00:31:31 We are just those guys from the bar pitching ideas. So we're trying to catch up to where you're at here. No, I think it's just, you know, on the one hand, I'm a little status over. I've had fun in this kind of fantasy world. I get it. You have to leave the character behind. Jake, you can relate to that. No, you don't.
Starting point is 00:31:50 You could live in a weird lie. I've been doing it for 15 years. It's called Hollywood. Oh, my God. All right. Kelly, I'm sorry that happened. We'll cut that out. Keep going.
Starting point is 00:31:57 You pretend you know what you're doing, and some idiots at these streamers or networks pay you. It's all bullshit. Jake. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, pay you it's all bullshit sorry sorry sorry sorry it's all a lie i pretended to be at madonna's party and they bought the pitch right yeah i mean yeah i should try to harness this somehow i guess so so i understand what's happening kelly you built this really fun character and now you got to put it to bed that is part of it yeah because you know it's it's been fun but also okay so here's the part that i kind of wasn't expecting yes um my friends have been
Starting point is 00:32:35 like the people that have heard about this have been so sweet and supportive and like cheering me on. And, you know, we're so proud of you and we knew you could do it type of stuff. So you want to know what can help on this? Yeah. Yeah. Now you feel a little bit like, well, I don't want to hurt anybody. It was for a bit.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Exactly. Exactly. I want, I want to be the joke. I don't want them to be the joke. So here's how you do it. When, uh,
Starting point is 00:33:04 this podcast comes out, you let them in on the bit before it airs, the people who have been really sweet. And so there's a way to do it where you share the enthusiasm of the whole game of it so that they're part of it. Yeah. I'm not a natural con woman i've learned like at times it felt a little too easy but that is what really got us a meat like we've talked about it even off air like when you played back the details we were all kind of just like holy shit yeah we were like this is i mean you you it was like a stenographer reading back what she'd written down but she'd added like uh like she'd added like an arc to like it was we were just like holy shit so i think that jake is right i think just say the story was just something
Starting point is 00:34:02 to do it was kind of a little prank experiment. And it got way bigger than I expected. It got bigger than you thought. And the reason why I want to tell you is because you guys were so sweet. I just didn't think about that. You guys are so good. And it really made me miss you. And it made me miss having you guys around because you're supportive, great friends. And that's kind of the moral that I took.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Holy shit, Gareth. That was the best piece of advice you've given on this pod. Really? Kelly, I think he's dead right. Because you want to know why that's such good advice is that it's true. Because I think you lead out exactly what the Garf man said. And that is this started of a bit. I called in this goofy podcast. They pushed me to do this thing. And you can go like, I wasn't sure if anyone was going to believe it. Really what I was trying to do was make the night memorable. And your responses were so unthinkably like great. They just made me realize like how cool you guys are. And I just want to let you know, even before it comes out, uh, that happened, because by no means do I want you to be, I want you in on the joke,
Starting point is 00:35:10 not the joke. I like that. That was going to be my follow-up question for advice is, you know, should I let them in on it? And I think you're absolutely right. Yeah. Well, we feel the same. I mean, it is a pleasure. And like I said, I mean, we were just awed by your recounting of the things that we'd said. So you were awesome. And thank you so much for calling. We really, really appreciate it. Awesome. Thank you. Me too. Thanks, Kelly. Me too. Thank you so much. You're the best. Thank you, Kelly. We'll see you at the next reunion. Bye-bye. All right. Thank you so much. You're the best. Thank you Kelly. We'll see you at the next reunion. Bye bye.
Starting point is 00:35:46 All right. Bye bye. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh
Starting point is 00:35:59 and you can check out all of his work at OliverRaleigh.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com.
Starting point is 00:36:12 And if you would like to be on our show, please email us at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

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