Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - BONUS EPISODE #3- Titanic, from memory (1997)
Episode Date: April 22, 2020In this bonus quarantine episode, we discuss a movie that neither of us has seen in at least a decade and a half. With the help of a Google image search, we're piecing together the plot (?) of the 199...7 blockbuster hit "Titanic." As it turns out, neither of us has a great memory. Stay tuned for a "Corrections and Retractions" bonus episode. As always, we hope you're hanging in there during this bizarre and lonely time, and we're right there with you.Â
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Hey Katie. Hi Alan. How are you? Oh, about to talk about the film Titanic from memory. So, you know.
To let you into the window of how I am right now? To let you into the window of how I am right now? Yeah.
Today I took off work and I was playing Mario Kart.
And at one point, at the beginning of a race, Princess Peach jumped right past me.
And I yelled, all right, Princess Peach, ladies and turtles, do it for themselves.
And then went and raced.
Oh God.
Oh, good God. Because I was the Coupa trupa, just a ladies, just ladies, tha, tha, tha, tha, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, the the the the the the the the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the.a, thea, thea, thea, toooooo, too, too, too was the Coupa Trooper. Just a couple ladies and turtles have to do.
Just ladies and turtles.
Oh, you're doing what they have to do to survive.
Are we okay?
Are you okay?
No.
I have to say I am deeply not okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm cognizant of that and I'm trying. Sure, I mean, we're here to do this, we're doing something.
Yeah, I'm much better now.
Great, me too.
I was sobbing when you picked up the zoom call, but that's different.
It happens.
Fuck.
Anyway.
This is the era of banana bread baking and random tears. Oh man, all the tears,
but at such weird intervals, there'll be days without tears and then just days of tears,
which is my new movie about stock car racing. But also feelings.
And someone's gonna be like,
why don't I want to go see a movie called Days of Tears?
What are they tearing?
Tearing ass.
No, that would be hauling ass, right?
Tearing ass, is tearing ass farting?
No, tearing ass is moving tests.
Okay, okay. It just, all of a sudden, rip it, ripin' one. Ripen hands as part.
This is the kind of content people are coming here for.
This is the bonus of their free content.
This is the bonus of their bonus episode.
This is going to be bonus episode 3 part one.
Oh yeah. It's Titanic from memory.
To be fair, we are sharing a screen right now in which I have Google Image searched the
phrase Titanic the movie.
And we're going to talk a little bit about a movie that I haven't seen in 20 years.
I haven't seen it since it was in the theater, but that's the last time I saw it.
I think I was a freshman in high school. I want to say, oh, it's 1997 I see here on one th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th it was in the theater, but that's the last time I saw it. I think I was a freshman in high school.
I want to say, oh, it's 1997, I see here on one of the images.
Okay, so we were both freshman in high school.
Yeah, we were both freshman in high school.
How old were you?
You would have been your mid-20s?
Uh, 23, early 20s. And you still want to see this movie in the theater.
Yeah, my girlfriend at the time wanted to go see it.
Ugh, women, am I right?
Yeah, it's also why I saw Fars Gump in the theater.
Oh, that's a horrible movie.
That's a horrible film.
I hate it. It's all, ugh. It's like propaganda. It's a really weird propaganda.
It's really weird propaganda.
Couched in like a, you know what, let's not even get into Forest Cup because we have in front of us, Titanic.
Okay, what did you think of it when you first saw it in the theater?
I hated it. Did you?
I felt like I was really emotionally manipulated through the entire thing. it. Did you? I felt like I was really emotionally
manipulated through the entire thing. You cry? Oh I cried like a mother humper at
the end of it. Me too! I remember like I went with my friends, my like female
friends who had already seen the movie. And they were like, oh my god you're gonna cry so
and I was like, I don't cry. And then I was like, oh yeah. We loved each other.
Chest rattling sobs.
Oh, this piece of shit.
This manipulative fucking thing.
All right.
In my memory. Mm-hmm. This film opens with the people looking for the Titanic, the modern-day people.
Right, it's present times. And is it Bill Paxton? Is he the captain or something?
Probably? I feel like the Pax is in this.
Is he the one who's dead?
Yeah. He's the one who's dead? Okay, I'm sorry. I know that they... It's like a joke that Bill Paxton, the the that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's the that's that's the that's the that's that's the that's that the that the that that that that that the that that's like the one who's dead? Yeah. He's the one who's dead.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I know that they...
It's like a joke, the Bill Paxton, Bill Pullman thing.
What was the joke?
Oh, it's like the Bill Paxton, Bill Pooleman thing.
Yeah, where people can't tell them apart.
Which, I, it was never a thing for me, but now, but that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was was was was that was never that was never that that that's that's that's, that's, it was that's, it was that's, it was that's, it was that's, it was that's, it was that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the can't remember which is which so yes it is one of the two okay okay and they for
some reason I guess they find the jewelry is that what happens that how they end up
with old rose stanky old rose yeah was she just on the ship like oh we found
her they find her from like a nursing home oh you think she was under water? Is that what you're asking me? th you're the the the the th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th you're th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi that thi that that that that the that the that that that that that that that the the thi the the thi the thi thi the th. They find her from like a nursing home. Oh, you think she was underwater?
Is that what you're asking me?
They found her first and then they found her jewelry.
They like grabbed, they like, no, no, that's that's not how it happened.
They found the jewels were sparkling in the silt of the bottom of the ocean.
They picked it up and when they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, they pulled it, th, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, up and when they pulled it, she came up with it, like a carrot.
And in my memory, that's how this film opens.
I just remember in opening with like, Bill Paxton showing or something, I guess it was the jewelry,
the aforementioned jewelry, and then her staring wistfully at the ocean
Right well like a flute plays I think
Yeah, and Celine Dion screams in the background
Look a lot of things are wrong with this. Selene Dion is not one of them
Canadian treasure. I think she deserves respect. I think she deserves respect. All right. All right. All right. Fine. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay. So, uh, in my memory, they collect her from a nursing home and I remember thinking like, why?
But it's so she can tell this story. Right. It's gonna take take her apparently a very long time. Yeah, wasn't she
out of a day pass and it just skipped off to the Titanic with? It is so long. This movie.
Oh my god. So, and then, I guess then we're in the past.
1912? 1912. The Titanic sank a hundred and 108 years ago yesterday because today is
April 16th. I mean that's something. We've made it. We've made it this far.
So Kate Winslet is a rich lady? Uh, so Kate Winslet is a rich lady? Uh-huh, and she is, I remember thinking she
was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. And now even just looking at these
still shots of it, I'm like, oh God, she's so beautiful. Yeah, oh yeah, she's
breathtaking. Her skin is luminous. Mm-hmm. And Leonardo DiCaprio looks like a baby.
He was a baby. Can you see this one here that says 14 Amazing Titanic Movie Facts
You dot dot? I can you're highlighting it with your cursor right now. Oh you can see my cursor too.
Yeah, yeah, and your search history. Oh, I, Alan, my heart just dropped.
It says is Alan a dork right in your Google. Oh my gosh, I was so worried you would, that's what you would see.
Yeah, he was a, is that from this picture or is that like a Gilbert grape type thing?
I don't know, it's from.
It must be from this picture.
Yeah.
Awesome Inventions.
thii.
I don't know.
So, she, what happens next?
So, she, she's rich, he's poor.
Yeah, she's on there with Billy Zane?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And he had hair.
And a eyeliner, lots of eyeliner.
Yeah, also a beautiful man.
And in my memory, he kind of got screwed in this movie.
Sure, they immediately play him up to be the dick.
Yeah.
But he's just a rich guy who's gonna bail her mom out.
Mm-hmm.
And she goes stepping out on him.
She does.
He's kind of, she's wrong.
I mean, she's in the wrong.
Yeah. You can't have your Billy Zane and eat it too. As we all learned.
Yeah.
When you Google image search, Titanic the movie, there are like no pictures of Billy Zane.
Oh, there's one.
It's just, oh no, there's Billy Zane.
Oh wow, that's a lot more hair than I recall him having.
Oh, man.
Oh, man. I wonder if he misses it.
Oh gosh, yeah, I'm sure.
I don't know, what happens now?
Wait, who are these people in this picture?
Is that the end?
That's something else.
It says Titanic's officers, so I think that's another movie.
That's unsinkable Molly Brown.
She wasn't in this.
No, no.
No, she was.
Is her mom on board with them too?
Yeah, her mom's on board.
And her mom's all into her marrying Billy Zane because he is rich.
And she, the mom has like lost all the family
money or something in my memory. Okay okay okay I'll go with that so she like
has to marry Billy Zane to save the family. Mm-hmm and Leonardo DiCaprio is a
poor Irishman. Is he Irish? I believe he's in well at least he's like on the
lower decks with the Irish. I like how you think that all immigrants are Irish. No they're doing like they're they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're doing like they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're doing. I they're doing. I they're doing like. I they're doing like. I they're doing like. I they're doing like. I they're doing like. I they're doing like. I they're doing they're doing. I they're doing. I'll they're doing. I'll they're doing. I'll they're doing. I'll they're doing. I'll they're doing. I'm they're's like on the lower decks with the Irish.
I like how you think that all immigrants are Irish.
No, they're doing like Irish dancing.
Well, I think that's just in the Irish activity room of the ship.
Down in Stearage. I know, also, I may be thinking of gangs of New York, just so you know.
I think that happens in both movies, actually.
Okay.
If I recall, I think he wins his tickets in a card game, his ticket onto the ship maybe.
Okay. I have no memory of that, but I like it.
Which is meant to show us that he's plucky.
Oh, he's crafty.
He's just my type. Yeah. And plus he's a dream boat or whatever, I guess.
Yeah, I don't particularly find Lenny Caps to be an attractive person, but not my sties.
He's just too pretty. Yeah. And now he's just, he's like a person who used to be pretty, which is almost worse.
Ah, how is mean. That's got to be a curse, right? Being pretty, I is almost worse. How is mean?
That's gotta be a curse, right?
Being pretty, I would imagine.
Or to have used to have been pretty.
Yeah, I'll never know.
See, I feel like I have aged into being more handsome,
which I'm pretty into. Yeah.
Yeah, that's not how it's a beautiful woman, Katie.
Not how it generally goes for people. No. No. I mean, I've figured 80 I'm th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I would, I would, I, I, I, I, I would, I would, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I would thing pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty, thi, thi. thiiiiiiiiii. thiiii. thiii. thi. thi. Being pretty pretty pretty, I would for people. No, no. I mean I figured 80 I'm gonna be smoking.
Yeah, you better hang on as long as you can.
I'm finally pretty!
What? So yeah, he's like a, he's a poor, probably Irishman named Leonardo DiCaprio.
See, I think you're thinking that because I think he is an Irish friend who, in my mind,
is Dominic Monaghan, but I don't think actually is.
I don't think so.
No.
He was in a bit heart in this movie.
I think you might be thinking of Lord of the Rings.
Yeah.
So Leonhard O'Gavrio is played by Elijah Wood and he's a hobbit.
Let's go from there.
Yep.
I don't have like Elijah Wood in the scene.
That's Irish water spaniel art from a fine art America.
For those of you who can't see it, which is all of you, it is a picture of the Titanic
poster with Leo and Kate looking lovingly and then there's just a fucking Irish
Center, Irish Water Spaniel in front of them.
It has like a very disapproving look on its face.
I feel like that's that dog zoom background when it's in calls.
Yes, I'm going to go ahead and save this image in case we need it for later.
Oh shit. Now you can see my files can't you? I'm looking away. I'm averting my eyes.
Oh, thank God. I'm going to drink beer while you're doing this.
Oh, look here's another one with a different breed of dog. What is that?
What kind of dog is that?
I don't know, one of them dogs is save people's in the Alps?
Yeah, St. Bernard, I'm saving this one too.
Don't at me if that's the wrong kind of dog.
Oh, I don't care. I don't care for to hear from any of you, thank you. Man, I'm bummed there aren't more dogs.
What was Reba McIntyre doing here?
I feel like we should have just done this as like a live, like watch us do a zoom,
because like, what is Reba McIntyre doing here?
Okay, okay, we got to talk about this movie. All right. So he's a poor. What is Reba McIntyre doing here?
Okay, okay, we got to talk about this movie. All right, so he's a poor, she's a rich. Right.
And I'm assuming their paths cross in the Lido deck somehow.
She's going to kill herself. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, by throwing herself overboard and then he catches, he like catches her and convinces
her to live.
Wait, because she's trying to get away from Billy Zanes?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, all right.
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that's not great.
But then it's like, he's like, hey, you're rich, you should live, hey I live, it's living, man, L-I-V-I-N.
And that's what Leave in Levita Loco shows up.
What?
Ricky Martin's living Lovita-Loco.
I love Ricky Martin.
And I have to tell you, I think it's absolutely a bummer that he had to pretend to be straight for so long.
Oh yeah. Oh. Yeah, yeah.
I'm glad he could live his best life now.
Me too.
He has like a super handsome husband and they have like very cute children.
Oh, I can't even imagine.
Yeah.
I assume that's still true.
Presumably, they're fine.
I don't know what's like how he ends up continuing
to be in her life.
Well, once you've bumped into a Lenny to Capps, you're just going to keep running at him, I guess.
I guess.
I mean he saved her, right? Right Right so now she owes him and they
she's so pale she looks like a straight-up fucking vampire. But like a really
beautiful vampire. Oh sure yeah yeah she could have like squeezed right into
interview with a vampire and it would have been fine. She's a rosy-cheeked vampire.
Also man how do you make being pale look that good? It's ridiculous. I don't know. I'm always some
hue of pink, so I don't... What is this one where she's wearing like a
waitress outfit? Oh that's just her school marm dress. It's so weird. Okay I don't
remember that. With Billy Zane approaching her room behind? Ew. So I don't know,
they fall in love I guess. Sure, I mean, why wouldn't they they fall in love, I guess.
Sure, I mean, why wouldn't they? They're both beautiful.
He's done that King of the World thing.
Oh, did that happen when she was trying to kill herself, or was that a later thing? I don't think, I think he does that later, because that doesn't really seem like something you should do while someone's threatening suicide is stand on a things, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th and say I'm the king of the world. I think it's like not a great look.
This is my favorite mad TV sketch of just someone standing under bridge waiting for people.
I'm a king of the world of if they look like they're going to jump.
So sad. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, here's a picture of them doing King of the World.
It looks, she looks happy.
Is it, does he say King of the World?
Is that what it is?
Yes, in my memory.
I thought it was something about flying.
Maybe it is. I see I only remember
it from the office episode of, from the Bruce Cruise episode of the office. Hmm. I don't think
I've seen that one. It's like the funniest episode. Okay, is this the American office or the
Oh my god? Yes, the American office. I only watch British TV.
That's only partially true.
We both have subscriptions to Britbux.
Well, you watch British TV and, like, network TV.
You're watching like Father Brown Mysteries and the Masked Singer.
I got so excited when I found Foyles War on my local library app so I could watch all of the episodes.
We got to get Acorn. We'll split it. I know we talked about it. I know I talked about it.
Just one more thing I haven't done.
Oh my god. Yeah.
Oh my god.
All right, so how do we get to, there's like the tension between Lenny Decaps and Billy Zane.
His name is Jack is a Lenny DiCaprio Jack? Jack something, Jack oh something perhaps.
Yeah, as an Irishman. Jack O'Irishman, it's terrible, terrible. Yes, his name is Jack,
her name is Rose. Right. And Billy Zane is Billy Zane. Mm-hmm. And I remember, I think, no other characters.
Yeah, yeah, there's like, I remember moms around and the best friend that you mentioned earlier. Dominic Monahan. Yes. Yeah. And in, I then, the things, yeah. And, yeah, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi-theing thi, thi thi thi, thi like, I remember moms around and the best friend that you mentioned
earlier.
Dominic Monaghan.
Yes.
And I know that his mom, I'm sorry, Leonardo DiCaprio's mom is played by, uh, you've
seen aliens, the sequel.
I've seen, yeah, and enough pieces to say I've seen it.
The character Vasquez, who's the, one of the two big gunners, she's the lady.
She plays his Irish mom in this movie.
Wait, his mom's in this movie?
Yeah, briefly we said, I only know that because I heard an interview with her where she was like, oh yeah, James Cameron loves me and
and everything, and she was in Titanic and
aliens. Huh. Yeah. I don't remember. I think I'm on. But I really like the idea of a
woman who played a character named Vez-Kez and Leonardo DiCaprio playing Irish
people. Yeah, no it's nice. It's very multicultural. It's if Irish people are hard to come by in America, you know what I mean?
Just go to a drop kick Murphy's concert.
Look, look at the top hit is right now on our Google thing here.
It's Irish facts about the Titanic movie.
It's on Irish Central.com and I think I'm just going to go ahead and click on it if that's all right with you. Oh yeah, all right. Are we going to get some spoilers?
Oh fuck, I don't know. Let's find out. We'll read the subtitle and then decide.
Well, this article came out December 19th, 2017. This is the hot content.
Uniquely Irish facts about James Cameron's Titanic. Now I'm getting fucking ads for 1800 flowers. Have you guys heard the latest episode of my favorite podcast?
The two of them googled for a little while.
Oh man, I really enjoyed doing this.
These facts are one of the facts is just called Young Irish boy. Can I read you the phone? I'm going to read this to them.
In one of the film's most heartbreaking moments an Irish woman tells her children an Irish
myth to send them to sleep as the ship sinks. In fact, none of these actors were Irish.
And five-year-old actor, Reese Thompson had a hard time mastering his Irish accent.
James Cameron!
You couldn't get Irish people. I'm done with this. I hope
you're okay with me closing this tab. Please. I would like to tell you a fun Danzig fact.
Yeah. So I watched a YouTube review of Danzig's movie Verodica, which may be realized
that we should never
tour marts ourselves and watch this movie.
Okay, I think we had briefly discussed it,
so I'm happy to hear you say we're not going to.
The first of the three vignettes
takes place in France,
and these amazing low-rent actors are trying to do French accents.
Oh, no. And half of them are th th th th then then are then are then are then are trying to do French accents. Oh no.
And half of them are indecipherable and it's amazing.
I think one woman is just going, Oh, I'm gonna, yeah.
And dancing was like, good enough, put it to tape.
Cut, print.
Dancing. I like that a lot. Print. Uh, dancing. Cut, print dancing.
I like that a lot.
So I didn't realize the Terminator was in Titanic.
No, I've actually never seen any of the Terminator movies, so maybe that's why I didn't catch
it, that he was in there.
Okay. best way to find out about this movie. It looks like there's going to be some water at some point I'll tell you that. Do you want to do like a Google like
a Titanic cast or... Oh pictures? Sines or something like that? Yeah yeah yeah image
search. Titanic the movie scene? Yeah we could try that. All right let's click that.
Yeah. Oh it's just the M the king of the world scene.
Oh, they fucking that car.
Remember they fucking a car?
After she says, paint me like one of your French girls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vavavoum.
Yeah, she's just beautiful, isn't she?
It's like, I'm just so sick of people being better looking than me. It's like exhausting.
Oh boy. I remember hearing stories that she told from being on set of how Leonard or Capri
would put her in his, like his overcoat to keep her warm
when they were standing on the deck of the ship and then fart.
That's pretty funny. So he's like Dutch ovening her while they were standing on set and they both thought it was hilarious.
That is pretty funny. So I like that the scene thing is just all the same pictures in the last thing.
Yeah, why don't I try something it try try try try try try try try try try tie then't then't then't then't th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. tha. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. toe. toe. toe. to to to to to to to to that the scene thing is just all the same pictures in the last thing. Yeah, why don't I try something else? Titanic the movie.
Cast.
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe this will help.
Nope, it's just the two of them.
Oh, genuinely I have no idea.
Oh, there's Billy Zane.
It's all then and now. This is so bizarre.
Is nobody else in this movie?
Is it?
This is not Kathy Bates.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
She's unsinkable Molly Brown.
It's funny I recognize the now Kathy Bates, but not the then the Kathy Bates.
Oh, that was like pure misery era, too.
That was a...
Yeah, I hate that movie.
I hate that movie.
It's so scary.
Oh, here's her mom.
there's her mom.
Okay, so maybe there aren't any more characters in this movie. Right, well we haven't seen the best friend yet. Keep going down. Let's see. I don't think he's showing up honestly. I don't think he's... maybe I should
just go to IMDB. Wait, is this him? Is this him down here? It's got to be him, right?
That guy is decidedly not Irish. Irish is fun. Okay, anyway, we're doing a really good job. Oh, there's the captain, the captain is here.
Yeah, yeah, good job, huh?
Hush.
Seems like you could avoid an iceberg, but maybe not.
All right, so.
I like how, let's see.
This episode that is about a film about hubris,
is really us thinking we can make something like this funny.
That feels a little like hubris to me. I am laughing a lot but that's smart for the course.
I'm enjoying my I'm pointing with my glasses at this computer screen. I'm
gonna put a disclaimer on this episode to like take it with a grain of, you know.
It's a bonus episode. It's a bonus episode.
You're right. So we know that. It's a bonus, you're right.
All right, so we know that there's tension between him and Billy Zane, like Billy Zane somehow
on to him?
Right, because he's scoping her.
Being interested?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like a poor that dinner it seems like bringing in Irish water set her to dinner it's something you don't do. I do
like that he somehow has a tux I don't remember how he got the tank. I actually
do which is unsinkable Molly Brown gives it to him because hell yeah I
remember thinking like oh I guess they just needed to get this known
character in the movie you know. UMB coming to the rescue. Yeah. You know a lot of people didn't
die on the Titanic Molly Brown. Like get over yourself. Was she unsinkable
prior to this? I don't think so. I think she just didn't sync with the Titanic,
which is like you're not the sole survivor. Like how dare you give yourself that nickname?
She's the one to market it though and that's what matters, right? I don't know, I presume so.
You don't remember unsinkable Ricky, you know, you're talking about unsinkable Molly Brown.
Yeah, I assume Ricky got off the boat too, you know.
Floating Ricky didn't make it. So yes, so she gives him a tux and then, oh Billy Zane slaps her I think, which is like, okay, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tux, and then,
oh, Billy Zane slaps her, I think, which is like, okay, now it's okay for him.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So maybe Billy Zane isn't the,
no, the good guy we thought he was.
I just remembered that.
I never said he was a good guy.
I said he got a raw deal.
Okay, all right. But now I realize I was wrong. So yeah.
So then, I guess they hit the iceberg.
Oh wait, no, then they got to go into the basement of the ship to go and hang out in a car and have sex with a hand on the glass.
Hand on the glass. Yeah. It's very sweaty.
Yep, iconic hand on the glass. And on the glass. Yeah. It's very sweaty. Yep, iconic hand on the glass.
And you see her boobs in the drawing,
draw me as a French girl, right?
Let's find out.
Titanic the movie, Boobs.
There they are.
Hell yeah!
Yeah, down the tetets.
Ring that bill. Uh... I'm going to go back back th th th th so so so so so so so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho th so so tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- thus so we're tho- tho- the tetts. Ring that bell.
Uh, I'm going to go back this so we're both not just sitting here staring at each
other and Kate Winslet's boobs.
It's my zoom background now.
Yeah.
It's not good.
You're just on a work call and you move your head the wrong way.
Oh, it's a lawless time. You can do whatever you want. They can't fire you. You're already fired.
You're already fired.
Yeah. Oh, God. All right. So they do the dirty dirt in the car and then...
I have never heard it referred to as that, and I hope to never again.
You never like any of the things that I use as euphemisms for sex.
They always squick me out just a little bit, you know what I mean? The Beast with Two Backs is out. Doing the dirt dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt.
Dirt. She lets him smag it, girl.
Young hummer.
And then the ship hits an iceberg, right?
Right. Presumably. And then there's like two hours of this fucking ship sinking.
Yeah, something like that. It all the sudden becomes real time.
Yeah, it kind of does.
But he somehow gets arrested.
Do you remember that they like take him into custody,
Billy Zane gets him arrested and he like gets handcuffed to a radiator or something?
No, but that makes, oh yeah, because like the ship is flooding and he's trapped, right? Yeah, and she's like trying to free him.
Do you remember that?
I'm just looking at these pictures trying to get anything from it.
Anything. Is James Cameron wearing a Steelers t-shirt? That doesn't seem right.
Oh. No. It's got to be something about going into the Marianas trench or something. Yeah, probably. That man loves going underwater.
That's dumb.
Stay up here.
This is where the air is.
I recently saw a picture from like the late 70s early 80s of Madonna in a Pittsburgh
Pirates t-shirt.
Weird!
And I was like, why isn't that the Pittsburgh flight?
It's so cool looking. It is, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thii. thi. thi. th amazing. So yeah, so the ship starts to sink.
And admittedly, this is the money thing that James Cameron came here for.
Like the love story is secondary. He got to sink the Titanic again, which is like his thing.
He loves the Titan. Why is that? What's his deal? I don't know, he just loves deep sea stuff. Like he's done so much shit to further like the scientific discovery in, at the bottom
of the ocean.
Can I be honest with you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we should leave the ocean alone.
I don't think we should know.
Okay.
I have no reason for thinking that. I just think that there's like dinosaurs down there. tha. tha. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, tho, that, that, that, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.o, thi. thoooooooo. thoooooooo. that's, that's, that's, that,. I just think that There's like dinosaurs down there. Can't we just leave I mean like do you know what happens when you bring up like like just leave the dinosaurs alone is what I'm saying
Leave them be. I mean, there's like
There's nothing in real life creepier than the footage from the bottom of the ocean floor with the shit that lives down there eating other shit that lives to Yeah. Yeah. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. Just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the th, the th, the th the th the the the the th th th th th th the the th just th just th just th just th just th just th just th just just just th just just th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th th, th, th th th th, th th, th th, th th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thee the the the the the ththe ocean floor with the shit that lives down
there eating other shit that lives to... Yeah, just let it be. Yeah. I just sent you
that picture Madonna, if that showed up on your phone. Oh that is like, oh man that is
a great picture, that is a great shirt. That was a great era of the logo man. Yeah, why isn't that our, uh, the Pittsburgh flag? I don't know, it's very sexy.
I feel like, yeah, make some... City Council's not going to go for that.
Make Pittsburgh sexy again.
Pittsburgh has never been sexy. That's a thing about us.
Um, so, yeah, so like, there's now all the chaos as the ship starts to sink and break apart, right?
Right.
And they are running around because first she has to free him.
And then...
I don't know.
She's really spent all that time trying to free him.
I don't remember.
Doesn't she have to like fight off Billy Zane at some point too?
I think Billy Zane pushes a bunch of women and children out of the way and gets in a lifeboat.
He does. He pulls a total dick move.
Yeah.
And then she yells like, I'm a child.
It's just me, a baby boy.
When?
I'm widow Billy Zane, I gotta go!
Sir?
Okay.
Uh...
Just me and Whittle Kim.
Oh no, kids bop little Kim.
Oh no, kids bop little Kim. That might be one of the greatest things we've ever come from. That was really, really funny.
So yeah, she spends a lot of time trying to free him, she frees him and then they have to run
around the flooding boat, right?
I guess, why, I don't know.
She gets in a lifeboat at one point and then jumps back out and climbs up the side
of the sinking ship, which like no. Oh wow yeah don't do that. What did you think of the special
effects in this like part of the movie where like you're seeing all the stuff
and the people falling off the boat and oh I remember thinking it was amazing
I remember thinking it was so cool they could make they could sink this
giant ship like realistically yeah and it was I mean it was like this was like the
the best use of that kind of...
Oh yeah. And I think this was the most expensive movie at this time.
Wow, until he made Avatar.
Yeah, because I'm pretty sure, I think there was $250 million to make this movie if Memory Serves.
Because that's what it costs to make all three Lord of the Rings movies.
No shit.
And so like, yeah, for some reason that possible factoid is stuck in my brain.
Yeah, I think Avatar may have,
Avatar definitely surpassed it in ticket sales.
Really?
Yeah, Avatar's huge around the world. I'm looking up what the most expensive movie ever made was.
Oh, the Avengers Age of Voltron.
What does that mean?
It's an Avengers movie.
It's a Marvel movie.
Wait.
Tangled? No, that can't be right.
Wait a second here.
I'm going to Wikipedia where everything is right. Hold on here.
Hold on a goddamn minute.
Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides officially holds the record with a budget of
378.5 million.
That's fucking stupid.
That is, has anybody even seen that movie?
That's not even the one you've seen, you know?
I didn't realize the one you've seen, you know? Now I didn't realize the Avengers movies cost that much to me. I guess so, like the entire cast is known people. Wow.
Wow. Jesus Christ. My immediately thought was, oh, I just figured out how to feed the world.
Yeah, right. Don't make The Hobbit the desolation of smog. Or any of these pirates of the Caribbean that I've
never heard of. I know I've seen exactly one and it's the first one. Wow. Wow.
Anyway, so the problem I'm having right now is that I've watched frozen three
times in the last 10 days and so when I try to think about this movie I'm just getting frozen instead so I'm like yeah and then times in the last 10 days. And so when I try to think about this movie,
I'm just getting frozen instead.
So I'm like, yeah, and then the reindeer
falls down the stairs and everybody laughs.
Go with it.
This is our recollection of this movie.
Okay, fine.
So here's the problem.
The thing I don't get it.
Do you think it's because she's voiced by Kirsten Stewart?
I think you're thinking of Kristen Bell.
I am.
Kristen Stewart is the woman from Twilight.
Third Rock from the Sun?
No, that's Kristen Johnson.
No, Kristen Bell is Anna, who is really the plucky heroine of the film, but she's like,
Oh, she has braids and freckles, whereas Elsa has this like big fucking braid thing, blonde,
and I just, and like, Lucy's like, I like her teal shirt.
And I was like, oh, so you like, you like Elsa? You're that basic.
That's right, because her kids made her dress up as Elsa for Halloween. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah.
I remember her being mad about that, because I follow her on Instagram.
That's cute.
So when they hit the iceberg, it's because Elsa put it there, presumably.
I don't know.
It's probably because of that stupid snowman.
I like Olaf, I think he's funny. I should put it out there.
I've never seen Frozen. I think you probably enjoy it. There are plot holes big enough that you could
drive like Kenny Fisher's GMC through it. But it's like it's pretty good. And I've also been
re-watching the first season of Mine Hunter because I watched it right after Lucy in November nothing. And then when I realized that the Holden is voicing Christoph in Frozen, I was like, what
is happening?
Why is Christoph at Luz Quarter Bar?
I just watched that episode last night.
Oh, nice.
I used to drink at that table under that glass block window every Thursday night.
Do you think they walked in a loser like, perfect.
Nothing needs to be changed.
They're eating in there.
Like, imagine eating food inside Luz.
I love seeing things you know on TV though, because I was like, that's the door to the
cabana.
Just Lou's back porch.
We have gotten very drunk on that back porch.
Oh, so drunk on that back porch.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Anyway, the ship sinks.
It splits in half, amazing.
Like, as far as like a feet in film history, it's incredible looking.
Which is like actually how the Titanic sank, like the same way that they have it split.
It's amazing, it looks great.
And I remember being sort of captivated by this.
Oh sure.
Yeah, yeah, this is the money shot in the movie, like this whole sinking portion.
Yeah. And like, I figured what they, that one, one, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, titan, titan, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, titanic, the, t movie, like this whole sinking portion of it. Yeah. And it's one long money shot.
And like, I figured that one or both of them were going to die.
And I was still like, what's going to happen?
You know?
So that's good.
There was room for him on that door.
There's a lot of internet debate about that.
And I've not looked up since we were going to do this episode, but I hear about it on Twitter.
I feel like it comes up on Twitter every so often.
Really?
Yeah, where people have done illustrations to show that he could have fit on the door.
And then there are other people who have done weight displacement calculations
to show that it wouldn't have worked.
Like, people are serious about whether or not he could fit on that door. I mean, I have no personal... Okay, let's look at that. Let's look at a picture of that and see what we think.
You have no skin in that game? I just don't know.
What are Angelina Jalie and Matthew McConaughey doing on this search? Who is Angelina Jolly?
Who is Angelina Jalie? Who is Angelina Jolly. Angelina Jolly, famous actress? Where do you see Angelina Jolly?
Scrooge? Scrooge. That is not Angelina Jolly. That's some child. Little further down.
Little further, little further now, little further, little further, little further.
There she is on the left-hand side right next to Matthew McGahaye. Oh, I don't know.
Oh, I don't know. She also looks like a straight
up vampire. She does, beautiful woman. Okay let's look this up. Titanic tea look at this.
Okay we're looking at a picture. What do you think? Okay so it's it's like just a big piece of wood. It's not a door.
Okay because it's kind of like funny shit. Right it's not door a big piece of wood. It's not a door. Okay
Because it's kind of like funny shit right. It's not door. Yeah, but she could have sat up
No, oh for sure. She was she was sleepy although sitting up you would like start to rock I would think like laying down is going to get you the most like stable. Yeah, let's look at this picture here. Yeah, that oh wow, there's it's people showing. It's four. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's kind. th. th. It's kind. It's kind. It's kind. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's kind. It's kind th. It's kind. It's kind. It's kind. It's picture here. Oh wow, it's people showing four different ways in which they could have been on the door.
One of them they're sitting up playing cards.
One of them they're posing with sunglasses. One of them they're laying on top of each other, which I appreciate it.
That would actually work though, probably unless they were just too heavy, but like...
Got that, got that warmth?
Did she let him die?
Yeah, I was just thinking, like, if I was on the door, like, that's fine.
I'm the only one on that door. I understand that. I'm a giant man. I'm not a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny, tiny, tiny, tia. tia. tia. ti. ti. thaea. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoome. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t t t t t toda. toda. t theya. they're. t they're. toda. they're. toda. toda. today. today. t t t t a tiny Kate Winslet. Or a tiny Leo DiCaprio. I bet you could fit Leonardo DiCaprio with you on that door,
now that I'm looking at it.
Now I feel strongly that he could have fit.
Leonardo DiCaprio was six feet tall.
Uh-huh.
So he's two inches shorter than I am.
He's like a child-like skinny true. Um, okay. Okay, so...
So wait, what is the question whether you and Leonardo DiCabrio could fit on the door?
Or you and Kate Winsl could fit on the door?
Uh, me and Kate Winsl, I feel like, yeah, like, I feel like she's like, I could just like,
fit her in my pocket.
Yeah, that will work. She seems like a tiny. I'm going to look how tall she is. I bet she's five feet four inches if I had to guess.
Ooh, five seven. Oh, that's weird. Whatever Kate Winslet, I'm still taller than you.
Me too. Yeah, take that Kate Winslet.
Taking up all that space on the door. Draw me like one of your French girls, Kate Winslet.
One of the drawings he has is like a sex worker with a missing leg and he's like,
isn't it subversive?
I didn't remember that, but that sounds on point.
So he dies.
Right. And then we come back to like present day, Rose, and we see all these photographs
from her life in her home, I guess. Or maybe in the place that she's living, like the retirement
home or wherever she's living now. Yeah, I don't remember that. And like all the photographs
are her like hunting elephants and like traveling the world.
Wait, she's an elephant hunter? Maybe she just hung out with elephants, I don't know.
It doesn't seem like the rose we know to shoot an elephant in the face, you know?
Makes her a much less sympathetic character.
It's just her and Ted Nugent's next to a dead elephant.
It's her like, um, like, she's dangling a kitten out of window window and then in the next picture, it's just gone.
It shows her becoming Jack the Ripa.
Yeah.
No, it's just like all these photographs of her like doing rad shit.
Oh cool.
Like fucking like gleaming the cube and like skating a big half pipe and just getting radical.
Heaven is a half pipe my friend.
What is that?
It's a soft.
By.
I forget I'm Googling.
Google it right in front of my eyes.
I'm from OPM.
P.M.
Never hurt.
If I die before I wake, at least in heaven I can skate.
Because right on earth, I can't do Jack without the man up on my back.
Heaven is a half late.
Wow. Yeah.
And that's the song that ends, I know.
And then I can't believe they won an Oscar for that score.
Heaven is a Halfbip.
It's Celine Dion with OPM singing Evan as a Half.
They may well both be Canadian, to be fair.
There was a point when we were just discussing,
or while we were discussing this,
that I was convinced that Whitney Houston's hit song from the bodyguard
soundtrack was actually in this movie. Oh God that's a dope song though. She
sounds like an angel. I know. I know. Yeah. I know. It's amazing. I've never seen
that movie should I? No, no, definitely not. The bodyguard?
Yeah, why did I even ask?
That's not for me?
Should I watch that movie where Kevin Costner saves Whitney Houston?
Why not?
Fuck it!
For our next bonus episode, we'll be doing the bodyguards.
No, absolutely not.
Field of Dreams, double feature.
I love Field of Dreams.
That movie makes me cry.
I've never seen it.
You don't have the love for, you've never even been to a baseball game, have you?
I mean, I played tea ball when I was a kid.
That's the same thing. It's the magic of
the grass and all that. Get out there oiling up my glove to catch I was the
catcher in T-Ball too. I didn't do anything. I didn't have a position really. I just had a squat.
There are a headchers in T-Ball? What are you doing back there? You call in the pitch the pitch pitch? You're the pitch, you. You the pitch, you. You the pitch, you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the the the the the the the pitch, the pitch, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tap, I tape, get, tape, tape, get, get te, get te, get te, get te, get te, get te. te. the that, get, get the, get the, get the, and the dad who's pitching is like, Alan, stop it. I'm not going to pitch him inside.
I was there entirely to get people out.
There's no pitcher?
There's somebody on the pitcher's mound.
Doing what?
Catching the ball when it comes to them.
Right, I guess you have to be there to get people out at home plate.
Yeah, that was my job entirely.
But there's, is there, there's just a player pitching who never actually throws the ball?
God, tea balls for babies.
Dumb, stupid babies.
Learn to throw.
Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure I was eight when I did it. Yeah, I bet they had little leagues. There's a reason I was catcher.
I wasn't a sportsman.
You may not believe that, but I was not a big sports guy.
So you wouldn't say that heaven is a baseball diamond?
I would not.
I do love a sports movie, so it's surprising I haven't.
You should really see it. It's a great film.
Maybe we'll do it on here one day. Who knows? Maybe. Actually I would rather do the Robin Hood
where he doesn't do a British accent. I've never seen that. But Rob says it's a good movie and I don't
believe him. Oh no, right? Yeah.
What?
I don't even think I'm not going to edit this one.
I'm just going to put the theme music on the beginning and end and go.
So our original plan was to do, then to actually watch the movie and split it into portions and describe it to each other?
Should we still do that? I think so.
Yeah. What else are we doing? I nothing. Nothing. Do you want to do by halves or
quarters? Because I kind of like the idea of quarters. Sure. Yeah, do you want to do the, at some
point just do the math and tell me where I'm going to watch it? This is going to be in C. I'm going to love this. Do you want quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter quarter, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to watch it. This is going to be in sea. I'm going to love this. Do you want, okay let me ask you this. Do you want quarter one and three or quarter
two and four? I'll do odds. Okay, so you'll get one and three. I'll take two and four. Yeah, I'll do the math. I'll let you know where we're picking up and leaving off. Yeah, I'll the. Yeah. th th th th. th. th th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. the the the the to the to the the the the the the the the the to want to want to want th th. Do th th th th. Do th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do the. Do the. Do the. Do you the. Do you the. Do you to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. Do you to to the. Do you the. Do you want Mm-hmm. Yeah, we'll see what we got right and when we got wrong. We'll
see if Olaf from Frozen is indeed in this movie. To be fair, I don't think we
talked about this movie enough for it to be wrong except that I'm pretty
sure now that guy isn't Irish and I don't think that Elsa causes the iceberg. But other than that, I bet, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I'll that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that tho, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th. th. th. tho tho tho thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the to to to to thee to to to to to told to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. thooo. tho. tho. at all. I told that funny little dancing anecdote.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, but nothing about this movie, sir.
Nothing.
I mean, I'm lucky that I remember the movies that we're talking about that I've watched
within the last week.
So going by 23 years.
Mm-mm-mm. Sometimes, when we come even remember what movies we're going to talk
about until I open the notes app on my phone and see what the two most recent entries are.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I want to talk about the end.
So yeah, she does, she's had this real dope life, but then at the end, when she throws the
jewelry into the water, and then she dies, she fucking dies, and then when she wakes up
her, her, her heaven is a half pipe, is the Titanic, she's back on the fucking Titanic, remember,
with Jack? I do not remember this at all. Well, you're never going to see it because I have two and four.
Is Bill Paxton like there when she passes?
No.
Okay.
I don't think so.
Wait, is she his grandma?
Is that right?
Is he his own grandpa?
What happened in this movie?
Is he, Jack?
Wait?
Can we do this math real quick?
Yeah.
All right.
So Rose is 18, 20?
Wait, in 1912?
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
Somewhere in that neighborhood.
Okay, so we're going to say she was born.
Let's say 20 for Easy Matt.
Okay, so then she was born in 1882.
Yeah. This movie was in 1997. Okay. So I'm to believe that old Dusty Rose.
Was 115 years old? 115? Am I doing this right?
1997? Okay, hold on here.
I must have missed a digit.
1912 minus 20, 1892.
So she's 105.
Yeah, okay.
That's not better.
Dusty Rose.
She is dusty though.
I now want dusty roads to play her character in his way.
Bless his heart.
Oh yeah, yeah.
The world's a worser place without him.
Absolutely.
So, yeah, so wait, so she dies.
And then you go into like her dream mind or whatever.
And she's like walking up the big stairs of the Titanic and Jack's there and I was like, do you have to fucking sink again?
Is this your purgatory? But really I think it's just like she can be like on the Titanic forever?
That doesn't seem like a place you'd want to be a half pipe she well she pre I mean her it was like her granddaughter had who had brought her to
The Titanic thing I think so like
shund shund shund She doesn't want to be with her children or like her family
She was doing with this dude. She fucked a once when she was 20
Can you imagine dying your heaven being being with being with someone thi, being with someone? her her her th, th th th, th, th, th th th, th, th fu th fu th fu th fu th fu th fu th fu, th fu, th fu, I th fu, I thu- like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like it was like it was like it was like it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it, it, it, it, it, it th th th th th th th th th th th th fu, it thi, it thi, it thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi- like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, she fucked once when she was 20? Can you
imagine dying and your heaven being with being with someone that you were fucked
once when you were 20? What a ship? It sinks! That's sad! That's really sad. I'm really sad.
You know, heaven sucks. Oh my God.
How dare you, heaven is a half pipe.
I don't remember any of that.
You may have made all that episode.
I'll let you know in our next bonus episode.
It's Titanic, Corrections and Retractions. Yeah, that's it. That's all we're doing for this one.
I mean, like, I hope that was what you wanted it to be, you guys.
I like the people requested that we do this.
I know, I don't know what they, I hope it's, I hope this is okay, you know.
Yeah. I hope this is what you wanted.
Holy shit. This movie is this is what you want it.
Holy shit, this movie is three hours and 15 minutes long.
Oh, fuck.
Are you serious?
We're all going to have, we're each going to have to watch an entire movie.
Oh my god.
Okay, hold on.
So 3.5 divided by 4.
Yeah, it's going to be long.
Yeah.
All right, well, I'll get you the time stamps.
Perfect.
Do you want to say anything to these nice people?
I hope you're all doing as well as you can.
Hang in there.
Yeah.
It seems like we're doing a good job.
It seems like we're on the downhill.
I hope, so.
Yeah, stay inside until you don't need to anymore.
And don't do it too early.
Yeah.
Don't jump the gun.
Don't shoot the elephant in the face.
Don't throw the diamond in the ocean.
Don't date Billy Zane, just as like a...
No matter how much money he has.
It's true.
Here's what's going to be the problem with doing the quarters show
is that I like you to explain things to me when I haven't been paying attention and it will only have been me who watched it.
That's going to be on you, Doc.
I feel like a renewed sense of urgency in terms of just like really buckling down on this podcast, paying attention, doing it right.
Two quarters of Titanic. Not even a full half. Quarter's two and four, baby. It's gonna be great. All right, so we'll do that for our next bonus episode, which will come out whenever we can.
Yeah, whenever, later. Yeah, sometime. That's it. Yeah, thanks for listening to another bonus episode of Where Will Fambulance. Bye.
Bye. the