Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 117- Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Episode Date: January 16, 2017We hope that all of our EMTs had a lucky and lovely Friday the 13th last week. In honor of this dubious holiday, we picked a dubious movie: the 8th installment in the "Friday the 13th" franchise, "Ja...son Takes Manhattan." Why? Because we have no self-respect, seemingly. This one's a doozy. Special topics for your consideration include: the fact that this movie is achingly long for no real reason, concerns about how Toby gets around, extraordinarily bad acting, Vancouver! It's definitely Vancouver!, great funeral ideas, inexplicable coincidences and inexplicable toxic waste and the return of Mailbag! If you want to hear your words on a future Mailbag! segment, email us at werewolfambulance@gmail.com or leave us a review on iTunes. We love to hear what you think. Guys, guys. This movie. Do you actually like it? Does ANYONE actually like it? You can also let us know how you feel at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. Did you actually watch this one? If so, we think you deserve something good. Go ahead and treat yourself by signing up for the Parcel of Terror from this week's sponsor, Cryptocurium. The Parcel of Terror is full of amazing handmade horror stuff and you deserve it! Get a subscription at www.cryptocurium.com. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason.
Howe, you should see the angry look I'm getting from Katie.
Hi, listeners, I'm not speaking to Alan, so this is going to be a long one. Welcome to the solo Allen episode of WhereWulf Ambulance.
Might be a short one in that case.
Straight up not talking to you.
The fuck were you thinking?
I didn't know.
I've never seen this before.
An hour and 40 minutes of garbage.
I'm sorry. I didn't know. I did not know. What do you know? You never saw this?
Who do you think?
When did you look it up?
So the only thing I knew about this movie was that when you see the movie punks at the beginning
of the film, one of them is an actual punk.
Who?
It's the lead singer of. It's got my man Darryl Kahan in it. He's in Disma, he's in some great death metal vans.
Pretty cool guy, pretty cool guy.
In that scene, there's also a billboard for the movie Batman.
Yeah.
And I was like, I wish I was watching that.
I might watch that that for our Bat-cast. I think he's great. I think he's better than a lot of other Batman.
Haven't you not seen a lot of other Batman though?
Uh, I haven't seen any other Batman.
I just assumed he's the best.
I saw the George Clooney one with the nipples.
No.
Yeah.
All right. That was Clooney at the height of his Clooney Powers. Yeah. Great guy. Terrible Batten. Who is his side, who was Robin and that?
Chris O'DConnell.
I feel like he was a thing for a while and he just,
gone, he died.
Did you really?
No.
Oh, his career did.
Oh, I guess I'm speaking you again.
Oh, I guess I'm speaking you need to take responsibility. Well, the other thing is I was reading the Wikipedia and Leonard Malton, of the
Leonard Maltin movie thing, said that this is the best of the sequels to Friday the 13th.
Is he drunk?
He hates horror movies.
It's just inexplicable.
So it's called Jason Takes Manhattan and it takes him an hour and a half to get to Manhattan.
We start off in Manhattan.
Yeah.
Remember everybody that you've seen Manhattan
at the beginning of the film,
because they're going to be doing the exact same thing,
days later.
It's like meant to show how gritty Manhattan is.
It's like assorted drug use,
some dark alleys with steam coming out
of them, you know.
Junkies?
Yeah, and Rob was like, I'm looking forward to Jason cleaning up this town.
And I was like, I don't think that's what's going to happen, and I was right, and he doesn't.
Jason makes, well he does stop a crime.
He stops a crime with a crime. I understand, listen, I don't th you used to stop a crime. Listen, I don't fucking care.
So, we go from Manhattan to Crystal Lake on two teens on a houseboat.
Okay, where the...
Oh my god, it's so...
I was gonna say, how the fuck long is it going to take for a cruise to get from Vancouver to Manhattan.
Now, that's what...
the coastal New Jersey looks like Vancouver.
Where are those mountains?
Has it ever been established in the series before where Camp Crystal Lake is?
I think it's known that it's in New Jersey.
It's New Jersey. Yeah.
Why the fuck did they film this in Vancouver?
Like it's not even hiding it. It's like, I mean, it's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's. It's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's new. It's new. It's new. It's new. It's new. It's new. It's new. It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's. It's. It's. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's.... It's.... It's.... It's.... It's.... It's.... It's.... It's.... It's...a. It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... W. the the the the the the the the the the the the thia. It's... Wa. It's... Wa. It's... W. It's... W mean it's a beautiful beautiful Puget's sound you look it's gorgeous I fucking know it because I've seen all
these other movies that are set on that coast but oh oh I should you hurt your
I should hurt my elbow oh no buddy he's yelling so much I heard my elbow you did send me an email
saying I'm gonna lose my fucking mind talking about he's like, oh, sorry, it's so long.
And I was like, the length.
The length is what you're apologizing for.
We're not even friends anymore.
And then I joke at least a message and said, no, I think I just ignored you.
the rest of it's top notch.
No, you just said, I'm so mad right now. 424, there's boobs.
Yeah, right, right to it.
Boops and those high-wasted panties.
Yeah, that's an 80s.
Yeah, that's an 80s.
Yeah, your hips, uh, hot 80s look.
You just needed, your hips.
thi's really, the teens, there's the lady, and then Jim Jimmy. Jim Jimmy?
She's like, Jim Jimmy!
Jim Jimmy!
So I just decided his name was Jim Jimmy.
They have the same haircut.
They have so much curly hair in this movie.
So, this is the year I went into high school, by the way, 1989.
Oh, that's interesting.
For everyone keeping track. I know these people. Yeah. That's the year I started in kindergarten. Wait, there's an age cap!
So...
That can't be right.
What was I doing?
Yeah, I guess I was.
Yeah, I was four.
Yeah, I was four.
Yeah, I was already in kindergarten.
I got skipped a head because I was a genius.
Yeah, did you know that?
No, I got to preschool for like five days and they were like, this bitch too smart, get
her in kindergarten.
I was like, okay.
But then it turned out that like, it would really mess me up socially to be like a year
and a half younger than everybody else and everybody else got their driver's license.
And I was like, I'm a baby. Oh, I had no idea. You're the Doogie-Houser.
Except I never made anything of myself.
Alternate universe, Doogie-Houser.
So there may go, humble brag that, by the thigh.
Well, I was going to say that I almost didn't test into kindergarten.
Because they gave me blocks to do something with it.
I'm shitting on the floor, go fuck yourself. No, I just did something else with the blocks.
My mother's like, he's an artist.
You put him in kindergarten.
Look where I am now.
That's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
We're totally fine.
We're totally fine.
This thatee the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tell people of murdered children in lakes. I just like, okay, this movie is very confusing as to whether or not Jason is a legend
that people in this town know.
They are high school students who are graduating and this graduating class is going on this
cruise to Manhattan. Right.
Fucking 3,000 miles away.
As the crow flies.
One of them doesn't know, is it the girl that doesn't know about Jason?
The boy tells her, okay. Yeah. But everyone, everyone else knows about it. When it's brought up later,
everyone knows. And they talk about him like he's the guy who lives down the street. Right. Like he's a familiar figure.
It's just... I thought it was interesting that the kids talking and they start showing flashback sequences, yeah.
But they're not taken from other movies.
No?
They were recreating some of the, like the scene of Jason Floundering in the water.
Yeah, that's not from the first movie?
Uh-uh.
Huh.
Huh?
What?
I don't know?
That's stupid. And there's other stuff that gets referenced and they don't flash back and was like, could you not get the rights to your own franchise?
Probably not.
I believe this is the lowest grossing of any of them as well.
As well it should be.
It still made $14 million.
It was made for $5 million.
We've got to make money somehow.
We got to find a way to make money.
So they're in this boat There are just power cables at the bottom of the lake. Right where, right at the docks, right at the docks where people would dock their
boats. There's 5,000-volt power cables just cruising. Not, they didn't dig
them down. They just dropped them. It makes no god damn sense.
And then we see Jason's body like stuck in a ruined dock and I was like, oh fuck I know why he's there.
And then I felt literally ashamed.
It unnerved me that I remembered why he was down there.
So from a previous goddamn movie I had to watch.
So Jim Jimmy comes back and he's dressed as Jason and he stabs his girlfriend with a fake knife
and I'm like, oh we're broken up.
Like you fucked up. I don't care how gorgeous. this th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you're th you're that th you're th th th th th th th th th th th th th He stabs his girlfriend with a fake knife and I'm like, oh, we're broken up now, Jim Jimmy. Yeah.
Like, you fucked up, we're done though.
This is your boat, I'm out.
I don't care how gorgeous your Kenny G. hair is.
We're fucking done.
They're not done.
They go back to smooching and humping.
It seems at the end of the end of There's no way those cables would be there.
That transatlantic crystal lake line.
But they would bury them.
They're literally right at the docks.
Right at the docks.
Also, the least effective anchor of all time, it's just dragging across the
bottom.
Just dragging. So yeah, he gets electrocuted for the first time in this movie and it revivesives, right, right, right, right, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is they.. And, is thi. And, the, the, the. And, togs, togs, togs, togs, togs, togs, togs, togu. And, they. And, they. And, the first time in this movie and it revives him,
right?
Like sometimes it hurts him, sometimes it revives him.
Yeah.
Fine.
Whatever.
And he immediately climbs onto their boat and just starts murdering people because that's
what he does.
He's so inaccurate with a harpoon gun, as it turns out.
I've seen a number of these Jason movies, as we'll call their, their, their, as their, as the, as the, as we, as we, as we, as we, as we, as we, as we, as we, as we, as we call they, they, them, congratulations, by the way. I don't remember him looking around for shit as much as he does in this.
Like, they're hadding this movie that's already way too fucking long.
It need not be nearly as long as it is.
There's a fist fight that happens later on in the movie that I swear to Christ is still
fucking happening.
You mean Julius? This is Julius.
So Jason kills them and then we cut to the cruise ship where some woman that I guess
we're supposed to know?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
Is she from other movies?
I don't know.
Oh, crap.
She doesn't seem to, but like, so there's this woman who's got aqua-fobia.
But we don't know why.
th th. th. But we don't know why, but it's presented to us like, don't you remember what happened with her? No, I don't fucking remember.
And she's going on the cruise that's being hosted
by her Uncle Charles.
Why'd they kill my dog?
And I miss my Uncle Charles?
I definitely had the note.
Do you think Uncle Charles is the one referenced the bone-thilling harmony song. Boop, bon, bone, bone.
So copyright, copyright.
I'm going to miss everybody.
I did this just to this five minutes ago.
I'm sorry.
Our friend Dennis, lover of Darryl Hall and John Oates,
as we have been referenced many days.
But probably Hall more than it's, right, Dennis?
Let us know.
He has the greatest copyright copyright copyright idea for his funeral, which is to hire a large
black man that go show up in his funeral shirtless with just a leather trench coat on and
sunglasses and stand in the back like the guy in the Bone Thugs Harmony video.
So I'm sure there's a guy who just like, what, huh?
What's going on here?
That's pretty good, Dennis.
That is pretty fucking genius. I'm sure there's a guy who just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just like that's that's that's that's that's the guy. the guy. that's that's th. th. the guy, th. th. the the guy, th. th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. the the the the the th. th. That is pretty fucking genius. I'm sure you can find someone on Craigslist to do that too.
It won't be hard.
I'm sure there's a guy who just like, that is his bio.
You think so?
I will do this for you at your favorite role.
That song was very popular when I was in junior high
and it kept getting requested at youth center dances.
And I remember them because their rap styles that that that that that that that their their tha their thi s style their their their thi s style thi s style Oh God, me too. It has got like seven verses.
I love them because their rap style
became immediately out of vogue.
Yeah, in and out.
Just it was like, oh, they're so fast.
Oh, that's boring now.
So anyway.
Bone thugs, sorugs.
Bones.
Bone thugs. the bones, the bones, thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thugs. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. their. their. th. their. thu. thu. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tttttttog. ttog. tog. ttog. ttog. tog. tog. th. the the the. the the the. Actually they did harmonize really well. Beautiful harmonizing. Yeah. Didn't get their due. First of the month
is a fucking jam though. I will still rock that song. Wake up, wake up. So we go
onto the boat. It's a senior cruise for the senior class of seven? Seven people
people in their senior class. It seems like a million because I have to watch them all die when I care not for them. Some of them they don't even really introduce, they're just like, yeah, you did.
Ah. I'm living in a hateful world.
There's the artsy guy with his glasses and longish hair who looks not unlike Billy Corrigan from
you really did. I was gonna say he looks like someone I know now. He looks like a now. Oh yeah yeah, he does. Is that weird kind of Paisley shirt
that he has on that gives me a Billy Corrigan vibe though?
Absolutely.
He hangs out with J.J. the rocker.
There was like a scene where they're talking on the deck of the boat
and then it just pans around and she's just like playing guitar on like a rock. I th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. I'm like like like like like like like like like like like like like. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. I th. It's like. I th. I th. I th. It's like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. upper deck. I don't, I hate this.
She has a karaoke machine that's playing a rock of backing track
and she's playing solos over top of it,
and then they close up on her hands and her hands are doing nothing.
They're just sticking on the fretboard.
That's how you play jams.
You don't have to show me it though.
One thing that we forgot to mention in when we got on our bonethung the the the the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone the bone thugothothothothothe thugnothe of thugnothongongongongonged thuged thuged thuged thug have to show me it though. One thing that we forgot to mention in when we got on our bone thug, tangent?
Tyraid.
Tangent was that the lady we're supposed to know but don't gives Renny the girl we are
supposed to care about but don't.
A pen that was you belong to Stephen King.
How did you forget that?
I hear that Stephen King wrote his first book with this band.
Did he write it in the 1600s?
Tipped it in ink and then quilled that shit.
I just want to bring that up.
So she's the next Kang.
Yeah.
Do you think she ghostwrites as Stephen Kang?
Sure. Who cares? Who cares? I don't care. Why is Uncle Charles such a dick?
I literally have the note here, says Uncle Charles, you dick.
So Uncle Charles is her uncle.
Yeah, and some sort of teacher.
And she lives with him, I guess.
She lives with him, I guess.
And he was like, you can't come on this trip.
And she comes anyway.
And not only does she come, she brings a fucking dog. I know people bring their dogs everywhere. I know you've got dogs. I'm glad you don't bring them everywhere. It's not right.
Toby's a good dog, man.
Toby's so good.
He's, I have the note here, it says,
Toby's gonna be the only one to care about.
Because Toby just randomly shows the fuck up during this movie.
You never see him move, but he always is in a different place. cameras. Long fucking trip from Vancouver. And then, okay, so then the guy who's dad
is the driver of the boat. Oh you mean Sean Robertson? Sean Robertson. He gives
Rennie a necklace of the Statue of Liberty and I was like, imagine someone giving
that to you and then you having to wear it. And you having to say it looks nice. You have to pretend you got to put it on and be like, oh, oh, oh. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, he. Well, he. Well, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. tog. toge. tog. tog. tog. tog. today. today. today. today. today. th. th. oh. Well, see, you haven't even been there yet.
You guys haven't even gotten there.
It's still like eight days away.
Eight days on the, via the St. Lawrence Seaway.
This is after, we're in the, I don't know,
fucking helm of the ship.
And dad, that's called the bridge.
Captain is like, uh, that's like, uh, that, that, the that, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the just Star Trek. Number one.
And dad is the captain and dad's like, you know what?
I'm not going to take this one.
I'm going to let my son, Sean Roberts take this.
And the kid's like, eh.
And his friend's like, whatever man.
And this dad gives him a sextant, which Missy kept thinking he was saying sexting.
Very early sexting. Very early.
And then some digital sextant thing that like is a navigation, GPS device or something.
Yes, ma'am.
What is a sextant?
It's an old-timey navigation.
They like use the stars and stuff to navigate and you look at maps and some...
You thought that dumb kid was going gonna be able to do it? This kid is dumb as a goddamn stump. You bought
that Statue of Liberty Nangles. First of all, where did you even get that in
Vancouver? Where do you even sell that? No, no, no, they're in Crystal Lake New Jersey. No, they're not and I won't have it. Crest! No, they're not! Crilliard. their their their their their th. And I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thrtle. th. thrtle. thrtle. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that thi. th. th. And I th. And I that. And I that. that's that's that's that's that's th. And I that's th. And I's that's th. And I's th. And I's that's that's that's th. And I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th.'m not kill myself. Come on, it's still better than Go-Shift.
I disagree.
If you were like, you have to watch one of these again, I'm picking Go-Ship because it's
like 15 minutes shorter.
It's true.
And it's got better, way better acting.
So I did want to point out that this movie is two minutes longer going the whole time and you're like, this movie does not feel long at all. I, it felt very long while I was scrolling through Instagram, I'll tell you that.
But no, but I mean like the dissent does not feel long.
Oh no, no, no, this felt awful.
This movie feels like, like, I kept pausing it and going, you've got to be fucking
kidding me. Yeah, I can't tell you the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I mean, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. But. But. But. But. But. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the t. the the the t. the the t. the the t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.? And yeah at one point I said that there was 45 minutes left and I was like no they're not even in fucking Manhattan yet.
Jason takes them to Manhattan should have been the name of this movie. This is so
fucking stupid so he like he what he gets dragged by the boat I guess all the
I have no idea I don't know why he's there. Then there's just like, the Asian girl is like, I have a biology scholar, I have a science
scholarship.
Okay, fine.
No, no other movie.
No stereotypes.
Do I remember Crystal Lake having a tributary that went to the ocean?
Like, it's a fucking lake.
It's a fucking lake at a camp in a very small town.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
It's a small lake too. You can see across it.
Oh,
Ooh.
Ooh, oh, I don't know.
Apparently, the antique store sells Stephen King's pen, too, so.
I don't know.
I fucking hate this.
So, Sean does suck at seamenship.
to get the boat started. And we, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, the, the, the, the, tha, the, tha, tha, tha, tha, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th the the the the th the th the the th th the th th th th the th th th th th th th does suck at seamanship because he tries to get the boat started.
We forgot to mention that.
And it's like, no, Maritime Hornblow.
Maritime Hornblow.
Which is my new band name.
We're terrible, just like this movie.
And the ship is called the Lazarus, which I was like, are you fucking
kidding me?
Oh, Jason just rousing the dead and getting on the Lesary. This is really subtle and artistic.
I'm like seconds from screaming, and I'm sorry.
I'm trying to like, hold on.
I see it.
I see it.
I don't mean yelling words.
I mean just throwing my head back and howling.
Question. Is Tamara?
Who is Tamara?
She's the blonde lady who is very, very shitty to
everybody. Oh sure. That is the most 1989 name you can have. Yeah, absolutely.
I don't think I've heard that name since 1989. Here's a question I have about
Tamara. Mm-hmm. So she is a bad girl. I guess and a rich girl. And a rich girl.
To... A bad girl. I guess, and a rich girl. And a rich girl. Too rich girl.
Honey gone too far.
But you know it don't matter.
Anyway, this one's for you, Dennis.
You can rely on your old man's money.
You can rely on your old man's money.
Okay.
Okay.
She's rich and shitty and hangs out with the science scholarship Asian girl.
Yes.
So she gets caught, they get caught with drugs by Uncle Charles,
with cocaine by Uncle Charles, who's like,
you better have your biology projects ready when I get there.
Why would they have them?
What?
What?
What?
They have cabins?
Is there in New Jersey?
Why would they need cabins?
I just don't understand anything,
put your headphones back on!
I'm yelling in both the room and your headphones.
Oh, what?
Nothing Uncle Charles says makes a lick of sense.
Nothing.
Remember when Tamara says to her friend?
Is that a muscular bod or what?
Yeah, that was the only line that I was like, yeah, all right, me too.
Oh, not when she offers her friend some top dollar toot?
Oh my god.
Seriously, we gotta fast forward here.
We're 21 minutes into this thing.
We're still, we're still...
So, Rennie keeps seeing visions of Jason like popping up in the first????? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah...... Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, 21 minutes into this thing. And we're still, we're still... So, uh, Rennie keeps seeing visions of Jason like popping up in the first...
I don't know.
Okay.
But they're supposed to be in a connection, but I have no fucking idea what it is.
Okay. I feel like I fell asleep before this movie.
And it was just like, and I came on with a... the movie and they dropped it and it got all mixed up and they just made it anyway. That's what happened in this except they just lost the beginning.
It just got shuffled to about three quarters of the way through.
This was originally like a Gone With the Wind epic film.
It's fucking a-Jayson takes Manhattan as whoever took Atlanta. Sherman.
I was testing, I didn't actually know I forgot who took
Atlanta. Pretty sure it's Sherman. Luckily Rob doesn't listen to this and he
can't correct me if I'm wrong. It was probably that Confederate General
Ulysses his grant. So you'll never be forgiven sir.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry were you gonna talk about the
movie I was just gonna talk about the movie? I was just going to talk about that guy.
Listen, he likes it. It's a callback.
He's thrilled right now.
JJ's been killed by her own guitar.
Jason beats her to death with her guitar.
Oh, I missed that.
Oh, I didn't know who he was either.
I wondered. supposed to be the guy that Julius was in a boxing fight with. That's what, okay, I didn't know who he was either. He just gets a hot rock in his stomach.
Hot rock in his tummy.
It's okay, I guess.
Sure.
This is part of Jason looking around for weapons.
Like he'll walk in her and be like,
I don't know, what am I going to kill someone?
Well, we're not going to this thing just who's standing right on the edge weird thing for a person who's afraid of the
water to do don't you think? Because Tamara has decided that she is she
narc she's a narc even though she's done nothing well she knark about the
drugs to her uncle Charles she didn't but yeah but the way that the way that unfolded it appeared that she did listen let let me the the the the the the the the the to to the to to the to the to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me to me to me to me the to me the the the the to me the the the the to me th. to th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that th. I I I was. I was. I was. I was. I I I was. I was. I I I I was. I was. I I I I I was. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. No. th. I. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It explain the plot to you. I don't understand why you're not grasping this.
Brenny saw them and then a few minutes later Uncle Charles
came by and it's her uncle.
Oh, I got you.
I got you.
And she missed her Uncle Charles, so she went to see him.
And Tamara's hot, her bio project is her. Oh, yeah, she's painted a tummy. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, th. And, and a th. And, and a th. And, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and she. Oh, and she. Oh, the the the the the the the the they. And, th. And, th. And, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the. Oh, the th. Oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh properly. Good thing you have two, two organs.
Just a heart and a tummy. She's all heart and stuff like we always say that about Tammer.
Oh, I know heart all stomach. So she's like making it on Uncle Charles and with his face.
Uncle Charles is kind of into it. Yeah, Uncle Charles is disgusting. And then it's being filmed. Yeah. The angle that he's at you could never prove it was Uncle Charles. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to the to that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to me. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, t. T, t. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. Yeah, t. Yeah, t. Uh, the angle that he's at, you could never prove it was Uncle Charles. Never.
Whatever.
Oh man.
And at some point Jason kills the helmsman and the captain.
And I haven't noticed it, no, you're going to have to drive the ship, Billy.
I don't know.
I think his name is Billy.
And for no reason the radio's dead.
Because Jason rips the cables cables tha cable tha cable tha cable tha cable tha cable tha cable tha tha tha tha tha thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes ips the cables, because Jason knows how boat radios work.
He's a zombie at this point, right?
I guess, he's been dead.
Oh, wait.
There's also a harbing, harbinger on the ship who just keeps me like,
Jason's back.
And everyone's like, fuck you, Jason's not back.
What does anybody even talking about?
Let's, I forgot to mention mention the the the dance the dance the dance the dance about? I forgot to mention there's a dance floor.
Oh yeah, I love that dance floor.
Oh, God.
And Uncle Charles is being so mean to Billy.
Is it even Billy?
Sean Robertson.
I do have them...
Oh, and then there's a storm, of course there's a storm coming in,
that the Harvagers also warned them about.
I forgot to mention that Tamara's buddy with the science scholarship has dope style that
shorts with the backward suspenders, so they're crisscrossed on her chest.
Sure.
She gets murdered, I don't remember how.
Because I have the note that says who's tha's tha's tha's tha's tha's th is who's thi's th is who's thi's thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus their tho't have any recollection of her death. It's completely irrelevant.
They basically just throw like 15 people at you
and then kill them immediately.
But when I say immediately,
I mean over the course of 40 fucking minutes.
Wherein they develop, not at all,
we learn nothing about them and then they die.
I just don't understand why any of it's necessary. And the whole tas j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole th, the whole the whole th, th, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th, th. th, th, th. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. ha ha chachaching, but like saying stuff.
The movie starts off with him saying,
Juh, ja-ch-ja, Jason, Jason, Jason.
Did he?
How did I miss that?
Yeah, because I watched.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, peat-s.
Oh, jah-chah.
Says his own name and cha-chahs. And then later in the movie, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he says he says he says he says he says he says he says he says he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he he, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he th. He th. He he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he the, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, he says, heuh, chuh, ha ha ha. Really? He laughed.
I'm going to start, like,
like, cac, cac, cac, cac, cat, cac-catey.
Cac, cac, cat, cac, cat.
Cady.
It's going to be like my work voicemail.
It's going to be like, This is where I have the note, how is there 46 minutes left? Can I read you the next several notes that I have? Yeah.
No one would hang a knife like that, especially on a boat.
Is that a flare gun or a mini blunderbuss?
Julius keeps looking directly into the camera.
Of course lightning hits it.
That's this movie, I'm just humming it up.
Julius, not even anywhere near being the worst actor in this movie. No, but every time, it's like Jim from the office, I feel like he knows something and he's
looking into the camera like, wink.
She had Robertson is fucking abysible.
The girl at the beginning that gets murdered, I was like, I literally have the note they
don't make them this bad anymore. She's literally just laying in a hutch, under the deck, whatever. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I, th, the note they don't make them this bad anymore. She's literally just laying in a hutch, hutch, under the deck, whatever.
Yeah.
Just going, no, no, don't count, no, don't count me.
He's coming out with this tiny, tiny harpoon that looks like a hot dog fork.
Speaking of that, did we even talk about, were those supposed to be his insides that came out on the hot dog fork? Yes. They look like, but that's not what intestines look like.
They look like stethoscope tubes.
What?
I hate this fucking movie.
I can't do this anymore.
I can't do that.
So everyone gets murdered on the boat except for Uncle Charles, Rennie, Sean Roberts, and the lady with the curly hair they brought that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thus, thus, thus, thus, tho, tho, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes, thus, tho, tho, the curly hair that brought renting into this situation.
And Julius. And Julius. And surprisingly, the dog is in the rowboat when they get down.
How? I don't fucking know? I kept rewinding it to figure out how the dog got in the rowboat and I could not figure it out. This not even the most inexplicable time we see the dog. So. But there was making me rewind and spend more time with this movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. too. the the the the too toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. toooooo. too. too. toda. too. to. toda. this movie. Well, at 105, they finally see the Statue of Liberty.
One hour and five minutes.
There are still 35 minutes left.
I actually just started lightly running a razor blade across my arisen this way,
so I don't know. I got really focused on that.
Immediately off, so they row into the harbor.
Into the docks.
Right into the docks. And they they they they they they they they they they they they they they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get off they get off the they get off they get off they get off they they they they they the do off on the the do. I the do. I they they the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. I tho.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o. the. the. I thooo. I they they they they they row into you know the harbor into the dock and
They get off on the docks and immediately are accosted by the macho man Randy
Randy Savage's son and Kirk Hammett
Who just casually kidnap Renny like they weren't planning to kidnap anybody and they're like?
We'll take her and fucking Charles like no, let her go they'll kill her if we don't and then he's like we'll cover more ground if we split up none. No. Like???????? like? they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their th th th th the the the the the the the the they they they they they their their they they they they they they they, we'll take her. And fucking Charles is like, no, no, let her go. They'll kill her if we don't. And then he's like, we'll cover more ground if we split up.
None of you have cell phones, none of you live in New York.
You're just gonna split up.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Uncle Charles, I fullain.
to the note Jason has said it's a living quality to what he's doing
now because he's kind of like, well, I guess I gotta kill somebody.
It's like shrugging his shoulders and just like...
Yeah, why is he even killing all these people?
Like doesn't even get tired of it?
Doesn't even just want to like sit down?
And we're supposed to understand that he has some connection with Renny. Because hew-I's he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th,. Because when these two creep,
the Manchoman Jr. and Kirk Hammond...
Am I wrong?
I'm not wrong.
Let's call her Kirk Camet.
Fine, this better.
I don't want to disparage the real Kirk Hammett, who seems all right.
So they're going to sexually assault.
Well, they inject her with heroin.
Now she's addicted also what junkie is wasting their
heroin on somebody else and the 80s there was just this myth that drugs could
be given to you for free oh yeah never in my life I've got I mean I guess
people have been like you want to hit this bowl but it's not like you get
free drugs do you want to hit this very expensive heroin with me
everyone this is this is where I have the note that says this movie's unredeemable.
But before they can get down to what they want to do, Jason shows up and kills them.
And I was like, well, there's a redeeming quality for Jason.
He stopped a sexual assault.
But it's just killing.
He's just killing.
But he's in New York City. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was th. th. th. thi. thi, I was, I was th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. theea. thea. to. to. to. thean. to. thean. thean. thean. thean. thoooooooooooooooo.'s just killing. Okay. But he's in New York City. I was like, dude, go bananas.
There are a million people to kill here.
More than that.
I don't know how many people there were in 1989, but I bet you could kill them all.
The next note I like from here until when Julius is on the roof with him.
I just was not paying any attention. I don't know how much time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time. I the time. I the time. I to to to to to to to to to to the time. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I to to. I to to to to. I to to to. I to to to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I to to to. I to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to the next note I have says Julius should know better than to keep punching his mask. You're a champion boxer. Don't just keep punching that mask, you dumb, dumb.
But he's, Julius literally exhausts himself in like three minutes of punching.
I mean it's hard.
Puxt.
Sure.
Sure.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
No.
No, indoor kid. sport unless you're in like Thailand but okay. But Julius is a champion I
don't think he would just keep he's undefeated I don't think you would just
keep punching the hockey mask. Right not hockey doesn't make any sense.
It's making a plastic hitting sound every time. Oh my god I and the fight goes
on for a day I don't know why it was so fucking long. Oh oh just to pat out this film. But the payoff is that Jason just punches Julius's head square off his fucking shoulders,
and it's fantastic when it happens.
It falls off the roof into a dumpster and then the dumpster lid closes for no fucking reason.
And then Jason pulls a prank.
Oh, he puts the head in the car.
I was like, has Jason pulled pranks before?
I don't know. I hate this. Oh, what about the cop? The cop was so sorry.
He was so fucking Canadian.
Well, this is clearly Vancouver, right?
Like, they just have long shots of the Statue of Liberty,
and then any time they're in town,
there's, there's like, anarchy symbols drawn on the wall,
but they're wrong.
Like, the line doesn't extend, the midline th isn't th isn an A with a circle around it like Canadians you know they're not gonna give a shit. I just there's
graffiti that just says Jason lives. I saw that it was in the there's some in
the subway. So they get into the subway and at the beginning of the film we
see some people riding a subway and when they get into the subway at and when they get into the subway at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teaugh isaugh is isa isaugh isa isa isa isa isaugh isa isa isa isa isa isa isaugh is isa isa the the the the the the at the end of the film, those same people are still on the subway.
And it should have been days ago.
So now I'm like, oh my god, we're time traveling in this movie.
So this is where Jason encounters the street bunks.
And the one who is the skinhead who picks up the chain
is Darryl Cahan from Citizens Arrest.
Fun little fact. He kicks their their their their their their their their their the skinhead who picks up the chain is Darryl Cahan from Citizens Arrest. Fun little fact. He kicks our boombox. Yeah, he kicks the boombox. It's the only
good part of this movie is Jason kicking that boombox. He kicks the boom box and as soon
as he does, Darryl Cahon's just like, oh man, it stands up and grabs a chain like, who keeps a length of chain with them? Hanks. Well here's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their boo their their bonge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their bonge. Yeah. their bonge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their boon. their boon. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. their bunx. Yeah. their b. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. thin. th. th. thin. thin. th. th. thinn. Bum. their thinn. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. B. guys. Sure. So, you know, chains. But now the baddest guys come to town.
Jason.
I know, I wasn't looking at you to explain it.
I was just looking at you like, it was more of a how dare you.
Oh, at this point, my dog stood up and stared at the television set.
It's just like, how, what is this fucking garbage? So, Rennie the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the garbage? So, Rennie drives the police car into a wall and it blows up killing her like female
mentor friend?
I was like, that's on you.
That death is on you.
She's trying to destroy the ghost of Jason that she sees.
The child ghost.
The next one I have says on caps, what is this boat?
But I don't know why, because how do they get back on a boat?
There's no other boat, is there?
No, what is this boat?
Well, they meet a guy in a sewer, because they go down to the sewer,
Sean Robertson and Rennie.
Where they have this scene where she's like, everyone, my parents died?
And I was like, this is a little a a a considering he found his father's body like three fucking hours ago.
Like this happened to you like 12 years ago.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's not always about you, Rennie.
Is the boat you're referring to the flashback where Uncle Charles and Renny are on the
boat and she pushes him into the, or he pushes her into, or he pushes her to a swim after the to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, like, th.. It's thi, like, thi, thi. It's thi. It's not thi. It's not toooooooo, like, like, it's not to to to to to thi, like, it's thi of the lake is gonna get her? I wonder why I have what is this boat about it though? Because that made, that boat made sense.
It made perfect sense.
I'm not sure.
So they go down to the sewer and they're running away from Jason
and they meet a guy who I swore to Christ with Herodin Stanton when he first showed up. Yes, this movie movie just, oh no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the th, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I's th, I's th, I's th, I's the th, I's th, I's th, I's th, I's th, I's thin, I's thin, I's th, I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thea. tea. to fill with toxic waste. Every night at midnight. Every night at midnight.
daily timed uncontrollable toxic waste flooding. Is that real? This is how they
make the chud. This is how they make the chud. This is um I'm sorry this is after the in the
subway scene where they pull the e-break and it knocks him flat.
Like he can take 40 punches to the face but an abrupt stop will knock him to his feet.
And then he falls on the line and gets electrocuted which hurts him this time, last time it revived
him. That's all, that's all the time.
When he falls away
God Jason's useless I kind of love Jason in this movie because he's just like well is what I do
Gotta go murder it's true. It's just it's like and I feel like the part of the the horror in which I'm doing with finger quotes is supposed to be like the senselessness of it it, but it's like beyond, what's beyond senseless?
Ridiculous. I guess so, yeah.
And the unstoppelableness of him, which they've got, they've got in spades. He's just the most
unstoppable thing ever. Sure, nothing can ever stoppa-Jasin. Except the daily time
uncontrollable toxic waste flooding, which turns him into a baby, as it will.
So at one point when, oh, when Jason encounters Gerald Kahan and the other movie punks, he scares
them by taking his mask off.
Yeah, I kind of like that, actually.
It's sort of shot from behind, he puts his mask up, you don't see it and they're
like, uh, and then you we eventually do see his face, as good as Jason looked in episode 7, I don't
even remember.
He looks pretty cool, it was just like a mummy-ass scary guy.
Sure.
And this, he looks like a shitty fucking madball.
Yeah, he looks terrible.
Terrible.
I mean, ah.
I love when they come out of, I guess they come out of the subway voight and, uh, they stop and Renny they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just they look they're just they look to look to look to look to look to look to look to look out of the subway one void and they stop and Rennie and Sean Robertson
are just staring at Times Square like, would you look at that?
Oh my God, and then Jason comes out of the subway was like,
ha ha ha, shh, neat, meat.
He's also like looking around like, oh god, I'm gonna get back killing.
I'm in New York, New York.
Like, what?
I like, I think I just confused New York, New York, New York, with the, that Jarrell song, New York,
never mind. It doesn't matter.
Not the, what's the Jay-Z song about New York?
That's the one.
That's the one, yeah.
Now I'm singing about Jaworol.
So I have the note Toby for the win, but I can't remember why I have that.
Because they get out of the sewer and they're standing on the sidewalk,
just in a random place in New York, and Toby just comes up and sits down next to her. Where the fuck she
come from? There's a lot of that in this movie though like they all meet up
they've all split up in a different direction they all meet up without having
cell phones or a predetermined meeting place in New York City.
In New York City. It, it, it, it, uh, it, it, It's the end of the movie.
Jason has been toxic wasted back to a baby.
They kept making movies after this.
Can I rate this?
I would expect nothing less than right now.
This is the eighth movie.
I'm giving it an eight.
Oh, no, no, no, a negative eight.
Negative eight. It's negatively eight.
I hate it so much.
This is the worst rating we've ever given anything.
This is the worst movie we've ever done.
I hate it.
I hate it.
There's nothing redeeming about it.
There's nothing good about it.
Literally, nothing.
I think maybe, even
I just said, oh I like when he flipped his mask up, like I don't even care.
It doesn't, it doesn't change anything. No. Nothing is good. Nothing is good. I have
nothing to say. I definitely got to give this movie a zero and say that if it was, oh, I don't know, 40 minutes shorter, I probably would have been in favor of it.
Because it's so stupid.
If they had compacted the stupid into a much shorter thing,
okay, I'm fine.
Or if they had gotten a fucking New York City
in a reasonable amount of time and something had happened,
it's garbage.
Do not watch this movie.
I just told them last week. You told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. And, th. And, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, tha, tho. And just told them to last week. You told me to, you did this to us.
You did this to all of us. But I didn't know when I told you to do it. I knew.
But you just told them you knew that. That was literally an hour ago. I'm a bad person.
You kind of are. Whatever. What did I pick recently? What did I pick? What did I thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. I thi. I thi. I th- I tho tho thi. I thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I tho. I told told told told tho. tho. told tho. tho. told that. told told me that. told? I knew to apologize for? Resident, no, uh...
Silent Hill.
Yeah, I don't apologize.
You know what was way better than this?
Silent Hill.
Way, way better.
It was way less like offensive to my senses than this was.
It was really long, but at least it was like, well, things are happening, I remember the halcyon days of days, th.... killed me is like one of my favorite movies we did in 2016.
Yeah.
I think I might watch it tonight after I go home.
Just to cleanse my palate of this absolute garbage.
It's not even funny.
It's not even funny.
It's like not even funny.
No, that's the shitty part.
This could have been at least hilariously shitty.
It's not even that shit. It's like, it's too shitty to be funny.
It's not, like they're not, oh man.
It's bad, and Leonard Malton, I don't know what you're doing.
Really?
This is the most upset you've ever.
I have nothing left to say.
This is the end.
Oh no.
I have something to say. What? You guys should go to Cryptocurium.com and sign up for the
parcel of terror. It's less shitty than this for sure. Oh, a thousand percent.
Yeah, it is, it has swung the pendulum back to good. It's a better, way better
Jason for sure. Jason McIdrick, way better than this Jason. Jason lives though. Jason
Jason McKittar.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
$35 a month gets you awesome.
Handmade, handcrafted, hand painted,
hand sculpted, pins, magnets,
wallblacks,
stickers.
I guess those aren't sculpted or painted.
That's fine. They get the gist.
There's stories, there's guest artist prints,
there's sometimes candy.
Sometimes candy.
There's sometimes hot chocolate.
Oh yeah, that was nice.
What?
There was that cup, too.
I like that cup.
You can subscribe for 35 bucks a month.
And if you just want one month, you cancel your subscription after that one month. Yeah, after you get it, just cancel it. If you want, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many,
many, many, many, many, chitch, chitch, ch-chah, Jason. Did you really say that?
I'm not seriously, I like, I just got the urgeach-cha at the beginning say Jason.
Yeah it's a bummer. Wait I have a question. Okay we're leaving crypto ad we will
come back. Let's wrap it up and then I'll ask my question. $35 a month you know
what this is you know that we love it you know that we love it you know
that we love that he supports us and you should support him and follow him on Instagram it's what is it's a cry..... the crypto. the crypto. the crypto. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I have. I th. I have. I have. I'm. I have. I'm. I'm. I have. I'm. I have th. I have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have? Yeah, the underscore. Underscore cryptoccurium. And just so you can see what he's doing and his cool process is just like his amazing stuff.
Amazing.
Crypto-cr-y-u-m. dot com.
Partial of terror.
Get some shit in the mail.
You will like it.
You will like it.
Now go ahead with your question about this movie. the franchise in general, when the ch-ch-shh-ch-shh-ah-ah-co comes. Is that supposed to be Jason making
that sound? Yeah, yeah. Really? Are you making this up? As far as I know, that's supposed to be Jason?
I thought it was just like ambient background noise. It travels with him? Yeah, I thought it was just like sound. that sound. Yeah, I thought it was just like sound. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th that's that that's that to to that to that to be that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be that sound that sound that sound that sound that's that's that's that's thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to that to to that that that th and make that sound. Terrifying, right? Really? Jason emits that sound.
That one really changes a lot for me. I have to be honest with you.
Just watch the first one when there is no Jason.
Yeah, the second one's fun. I think the third one, the third one is the crisp and glover one I think. Oh, if only we could have watched that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, really changed changed changed changed a tho, tho, tho, tho, really change a tho, really change change change change change change, tho, tho, really change, tho, really really change change change change change change change, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, really change change change change change change change change change change change th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that when I suggest to this movie that it looks shitty enough that we
should be able to really make fun of it.
And we did.
Yeah, but that we've done so many.
Okay, I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm not mad at you anymore.
I'm just mad at everything.
Well, you won't be mad at this mail bag. review that we've got. Oh cool. Read it to me. You guys can go on iTunes and leave us a review just like our friend Rob C, aka Ectocooler. Is that his username? Yeah, he got that. That's cool.
And Ecto Cooler says Kang and I'm not sure how to pronounce this, Kwan of podcast, QU-A-N. QU-A-A-N. Is that supposed to be queen? Yeah, it's supposed to be queen.
I'm looking up what that word means.
Kang.
That's pretty great though.
Thank you.
I love this show.
My buddy Kurt, thanks Kurt, introduced me to this podcast about two weeks ago and
I've listened to every episode already.
Have you slept?
Wait, okay so that's 14 days. A hundred and ten episodes, we'll call it.
Sure.
I'm not doing that math.
And, well, I mean, give or take...
So he's doing like eight episodes a day.
He can't be.
He can't be.
Rob, are you okay?
Do you need so?
Do you need help?
Keep up the great work and thanks for all the hours of great listening. Rob, thank you so much. Thank you, that's really amazing. I am sorry to make fun of you for listening to us, but
that's what we do. But you need to do other things. That's too much of us. Call your
mom, she misses you. I don't want to be around me for that long. After about a couple hours in my own company, I start to get itchy. That's thia. thiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. But, th. But, th. But, that's really nice, thank you, Rob. And if you want to have your review read on the show, leave us a goddamn review already.
Do it on iTunes.
I think this is the most vulgar I've ever been in an episode.
Yeah, shit!
Well, you've never been to the 2000s pretty hard here, but it's just been like a phase that
we're in and you
you all just have to deal with it. We are doing the 2005 remake. Yeah.
With five I can't believe it's that late. This was her heyday.
Paris Hilton in House of Wax. It's on Netflix. Not Vincent Price? No. We're going
Paris on. Chad's on Netflix. Not Vincent Price? No. We're going parasolian. Chad Michael Murray,
Alicia Cuthbert, big names of the mid Oatts. Holland Oats. That seems so long ago now. It was 12
years. No, but that seems like a hundred thousand years ago. It seems like a hundred thousand
years ago. It seems like. Back when Paris Hillen was just a dinosaur. I think it's gonna be great. Have you seen it? Oh yeah. I love it, I've never seen it. So How's the
wax come back for that. It's pretty good. It's a lot. It's on Netflix. It's on Netflix.
Look, a hundred dollars says it's more enjoyable than this.
I won't even take that back, because it's definitely going to be.
It's definitely going to be.
And you can find us on Facebook?
Yeah, leave us or find us on Facebook, Instagram, leave us a review on iTunes, send us an
email.
Tell your friends?
We've got like six shirts left.
What sizes do we have?
You guys want those we'll send them to you. Yeah. You gotta pay for them. I mean they still cost money.
15 bucks where we should discount them at some point.
Yeah at some point.
We might do another run maybe.
Yeah I mean there's the tire you know.
There's still people that want the sizes that are gone.
There's so people that want the sizes that are gone should have got on them earlier. Well they did and that's why they're gone.
But these people want the sizes that are gone.
Well, they should have gotten on them earlier.
Alan, I don't know what to tell you.
It's like super hard.
All I can tell you is thanks.
Thanks for us, I to you. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Shit, shit. He's really a kid, shit.
It's for us, I know.
I can't believe that.