Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 156: Gingerdead Man (2005)
Episode Date: December 25, 2017In this week's episode, our annual holiday episode, we tackle a decidedly unholiday movie, 2005's Gingerdead Man. We discuss alternative occupations for Gary Busey, our favorite holiday songs, a retur...n of 90s fashion talk, the possibility of multiple actors performing the same roll and the movie not bothering to tell us, we eat some treats, open some Christmas crackers and have a jolly ole time going moderately off the deep end. Plus there's some US history sprinkled throughout the episode! We hope you have an absolutely lovely holiday season and are ready to move into the next year with us. We're so grateful for all of you. Let us know how you're feeling (subtext: say nice things about us, please please!) On Facebook, Twitter @werebulance, Instagram @werwolfambulance and leave us a review on iTunes if you have a chance. It really does help! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Katie.
Hey, Alan.
Happy holidays.
Happy holidays.
Happy holidays.
It's chilly outside today, huh?
It is.
It's chilly outside today, huh?
It is.
I mean, is it?
I mean, it's like as chilly as it gets now with climate change.
Oh, that's right.
Uh, welcome to the holiday episode of WhereWolf Ambulance?
Whoops.
I was talking about this movie with some friends, and a friend of mine was like, oh,
John from Marveling at Marvel's Marbles.
Oh, yeah. I bought th movie from my wife as a Christmas movie.
It's not a Christmas movie.
It's not.
Although Google told us it was when we Googled Christmas horror movies.
It said, Ginger Dead Man, and I said, Hulu, and that was that.
Yeah, done and done.
I don't know what anybody's thinking.
Top to bottom.
Maybe that's what Christmas is like like like like like like like like in Texas. Maybe. I mean, there's so many inexplic...
I just can't, like, okay, Ginger Dead Man.
First of all.
I'm getting right into it.
First of all, oh, I mean, we can talk.
Oh, no, go.
Uh, first of all.
Is my TV too big for this movie?
It seemed that way, didn't I was like, should I be watching this on my cell phone? I was like, is this a YouTube video that someone uploaded like Hulu?
It looked stolen.
It looked like you fell asleep watching cake decorating videos on YouTube
and you woke up and this was auto playing and you were like, oh god, what?
You know what I mean?
I do. It was stolen, i.e. It stole 80 minutes.
70 minutes. 70 minutes. Katie before we get into
this fully, would you like to enjoy a chocolate-covered pretzels some cookies?
These are from Saraces. Oh I like I said Saras is like a real Pittsburgh.
I will have one of these. Is this Ginger Snap? Triple Ginger. Ooh, that's trader, trader Jadot.
I don't know why it's Jadot.
Trader Santa?
Trader Santa?
Trader's, trader something racist.
Do you ever notice that?
It's like trader Ming.
Come on.
Trader Giodo.
Katie.
Would you like to pull this Christmas popper with me. I would like to very much. All right. One, two, three.
It didn't pop very well. I got the gun powder end. But you also got this thing. What is it? Oh, it's a kaleidoscope.
No. Kind of. It's a, it's a prism. Oh, it's like acid. Let's do another one. Oh my god. Where did you get these? I bought them. One two, three. Oh. three. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. tip. tip. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. one. Oh my god where did you get these? I bought them. Oh one two three! Ah! Oh no we lost the thing. It went back that way. I'll look for
it. Hold on. Christmas time is here. Yeah I think so. Oh it's a it's a little
parachute man. Oh parachute man. I like that you like the holidays a little bit. Do you like the holidays a little bit? A little bit? A little bit? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh, the th. Oh, the the th. Oh? Oh, the the the the the the the th. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the Oh, parachute man. I like that you like the holidays a little bit.
Do you like the holidays a little bit?
A little bit.
I'm trying.
I'm trying.
And would you like to open a letter, a piece of mail that we got?
I'm eating this chocolate-covered pretzels, I would read it once I finish. As you can see, I'm putting off talking about Ginger Dead Man as long as possible.
Putting off talking about what?
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
So I sent this picture to Alan.
But my child's daycare today took the kids' holiday photos,
and all of the other children are sitting on the floor wearing a Santa hat draped in Christmas lights looking like little fucking angels and my kid is just screaming into the void.
And I was like, yeah, that's my kid.
Happy holidays.
My response was, this is perfect.
Yeah.
This is a Christmas car that we got from our friend, Gene.
the friend Gene, thean. the friend Gene, tho'a' the thi' the jea' the jea' the jea' the jea' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' theat' theat' theat' the-a' thin' theat' the-a' that' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the-s' the-s' the-s' the-l-l-l-li'-l-li'-l-li'-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-li-l-l-li-l-c-c-c-c in Florida. Hey Jean, how are you? Thank you, Jean. It's an adorable little dog.
There's a corgene. Yeah. God's a mistake. If you recall. And on the inside it says,
Dear Alan and Katie and EMTs, to your wonderful season, may you have a blessed
winter solstice with love, Kevin,, and Digby. That's adorable.
And Digby's paw print.
Oh, that's very sweet.
Happy holidays.
Some of the shit like that makes me feel better for a little bit.
People like us.
They're out there sending us stuff.
It's gifts that make me feel like.
No, I hate this whole thing.
It's rapping gifts.
That's weird, you should pay attention to be present in the moment.
Yeah, not a Christmas movie.
I mean, not even a movie, really, when you get down to it.
It was like a very long commercial.
So this was directed and...
This was not directed, don't say that word.
By a gentleman named Charles Band. Okay. You may know him from being one of the producers on the reanimator
And he put up such movies as puppet master one through six thousand who have many of those there are and
And he's just like he's the schlockiest of the schlock. I mean, this is okay. Yeah, this is not a movie. No, it's not, it's,
there's an opening where we see Gary Busey. This is a mint Oreo. It's an Oreo with
candy cane bits in it. Because it's a Christmas episode. Thank you. From Trader Joe.
It's like I don't have to brush my teeth after this. Oh, it's a Jojo. It is a Jojo. It is a Jo. It's a jo. It's. It's. It's. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a j. It is a j. It is a j. It is a j. It is a j. It is a j. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It's a jo. It's a jo. It's a jo. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It is a j. It is a j. It is a j. It is a j. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It is a jo. It's a jo. It's a t. It's a t. t. t. t. today. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. It's. It's a t. Oh, God. And just before Warren, for some reason, my Delaware accent's been coming out real hard today, so I just said,
Jo Jo.
I just said I wasn't going to brush my teeth, so we're all in this.
Christmas time.
So this movie star is nobody you've ever heard of except for Gary Busey.
Yeah, who's...
Books?
I guess it's 2005, so...
Is this before his breakdown?
No, no, this is long after.
Okay, when did he have that breakdown?
I think after he has had his motorcycle accident that like completely messed him up for a really long time.
Oh yeah, we talked about that, but I didn't remember that it happened. Yeah that's why his face looks a little strange because they had to reconstruct it because he
wasn't wearing a helmet and hit the street. Well lucky to be alive. Yeah he really
is. And this is how he chooses to spend his like second chance making this
movie? What? What? What? What? What? Can we live off of point-breaking lethal weapon forever. Eh. Eh.
Oh, man.
Okay, so he's in the opening scene and then never reappears except in voiceover.
Yes.
He definitely filmed all these scenes over like a lunch break of something else that he was doing,
which was probably, I don't know.
What else would Gary Buse be doing than he would get a lunch break from? Oh, I don't know, being a greeter somewhere maybe? Yeah, I like that. That's good. There was definitely a quality
of being tapped on the shoulder and reminded what he was doing while he was delivering his voiceover
work. So he is... Please say his character's name. Oh, I try to not write that down, did you? Oh yeah, Millard Findlemire. That's a tonguful, Millard Findlemire.
That's the most work that went into this movie.
Very Jewish.
Is this movie saying something?
Of God, I would be amazed.
It starts off in a steak and shake, right?
Or something of that equivalent, yeah. With this family where the daughter is dressed, like,
entirely too provocatively for a steak and shake meal with her family.
Maybe she's a school teacher.
Maybe.
That's appropriate for teaching small children.
Millard Fillmore?
Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Abraham Lincoln.
Wait, is this Hamilton?
I know a song, so I know all the presidents, but it ends with,
and now Bill Clinton, because I learned it in 1993.
There's no way I expected this episode to go down that road.
I mean, I can do the whole song if you want. I don't really want to talk about this movie.
These are the men who have served us as president.
Cheap Executives leading the way.
Does this song have a name so I can find it on YouTube to put the music in here?
I could not tell you. I mean, it's children's choir.
Presidents of the U.S.A. Presidents of the USA. That'll probably just get you a lump, or peaches. I'm talking about it.
I do, president of the United States of America.
Yeah, drop peaches in here.
You don't like that better.
I'm going to eat me a lot of peaches.
I'm moving to the country.
I'm going to eat a lot of peaches.
I'm moving to the country.
I'm going to eat the their their the country I'm gonna eat a lot of peaches. Pitches come from a can.
They were put there by a man in a factory.
Well, they're in Cadillac Jacks, is the name of the restaurant.
No, it's Steehan Jake, I've been there.
My next note just says, is this the movie?
Because I thiiiii.
You felt like you started 15 minutes into something else, right?
Because there were no opening credits.
Nothing.
It was like, v. Movie.
Until there are way too many opening credits.
I don't even remember there being opening credits.
Oh yeah, there's, there is a 13 ghosts.
the thoo I said, 70 minutes.
So Gary Busey has a gun and he's a real man.
His mother?
Right, his mother, but we never find out why.
But he keeps talking to her, even though she's not there.
And is never brought up again.
Or is she?
Is she? No?
OK. I was like, well, I didn't didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. No. No. Okay.
I was like, well, I didn't give this movie enough credit.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
He shoots his family because...
He's robbing the place and his mother told him that when he starts something, he has
to finish it.
Why would you rob a steak and shake?
I don't know.
If there's a stake in shake, there's like a loe, the loe, the loe, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, tho, tho, tho, there and rob that? So he's confronted by the girl's brother Jeremy.
Wait there's a credit for Millard's mother in this because it's played by E.D. Biddlecom
That's made up there was no mother.
Wasn't it a flashback?
No, there's no flashback unless the mother is the robed figure that keeps dropping things
off.
Oh, keeps?
Yeah, twice.
What was the second one?
Ah, I don't care.
The cookies at the end.
The gingerbread cookies at the end.
Oh, I totally blank on that.
You mean the robed figure who drops off a vat of something called gingerbread seasoning? Mmm, no, no, I don't think so, no.
Yeah, that's just ginger, all-spice and cloves.
And also, like, why would she need a vat of it?
And he just throws it into like cookie dough?
Like, you're a baker, you know better.
Also, don't fucking bleed, I mean, it's like ble-
I just, repulsive behavior.
Oh, thank God.
One, two, three.
Oh, it's still in there's a cat toy.
I can hear it.
That was another Christmas popper.
Oh, shit. What did you get a noise maker?
I don't know, you tell me.
Let's just do that for the next 40 minutes.
These are the men who have served as best president.
Oh, Christmas.
Were you going to start at George Washington?
Yeah, I was. I was gonna do the whole thing and then I was like, that's a bridge too far. It takes a while.
So Millard Philmore Fendelmire kills a dad,
a son, and not the daughter.
The son's hair is appalling.
It's 2005, not 1998.
Right, everybody's fashion is 1998.
When we meet Troy or Amos or whoever the fuck later...
You mean that adult man? That she's like, when we were six, he's 10 years older than her. I looked it up.
Do you want to be mad about what his name is? Please. Amos Cadbury? Like the egg? Yeah, like the candy.
Do you know what the main... the sister who didn't get shot's name is?
You know what her full name is?
Because they never say it in the movie.
Sarah Lee.
Sarah Lee.
Oh right, because they keep calling her mom Mrs. Lee.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not, there's a lot of baked good puns.
There's Betty Lee is her mother. I assume that's a the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. the. the. too. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. I assume that's a Betty Crocker reference.
Sure, sure, why the fuck not?
Do you think that this script took an hour?
No.
No.
No.
No.
Someone, I mean, an hour, someone had to take a shit break.
Like, that's the only way.
I mean, it's just, itthat'll, okay, so Sarah is the girl who didn't
get killed. Yes. She, her family ran a bakery. Yeah. Her mom is now a drunk. And so
she's like trying to hold it down. Her wig changes all the time and so do her eyebrows. Did you notice that? Sometimes they're thin and sometimes they're bushy. Why? I honestly
thought it was two different actresses. I checked doesn't seem to be. I didn't realize that she was
the woman from the beginning of the movie until like a half hour into it, even though she kept
referencing her father and brother's death. The only deaths we'd seen on screen. No, in that, her her hair, her eyebrows are super bushy when. they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. I's, the. I's, the. I's, the. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's th. I's doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't. I I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. thr. I've thr. I've thea. thea. I've thea. I thea. I throwne. I the. I thi. see her again. They're very thin, like very 90s plucked.
And then halfway through the movie,
they get thick again, and then they go back and forth.
And sometimes she's wearing like a smooth wig,
and sometimes she's, and maybe one of them is her real hair.
And the other one is like,
fuzzy and waive. That's a wig, the fun, their th, I's, I's, I's, I's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th.... th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. they's, they's, thi. thi. they's, they's, they's, thi. And, they's, thi. And, thi. And? Lorna's wig changes too, or her bangs change. Like, it seems like they filmed some of these scenes,
and then like six months later, film some more,
because Lorna's bangs grow out to an insane degree.
I also thought Lorna was a different actor
at different points during this movie.
Could be, maybe they were all,
maybe this is like a is putting a, I don't
seemingly a restaurant in across the street that's going to put their bakery out of business.
The restaurants don't generally put bakeries out of business, but to each their own, I guess.
And it seemed to be like a Mexican restaurant or something.
So she is his daughter, the, um. We should mention this is all taking place near or in Waco. the Wico. the the tha, tha, tha, tha, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thea, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, thi, seemingly, thi, seemingly, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, thi. thi. thi. thi, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thea, seemingly, seemingly, thean, thean, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, seemingly, thea. thea. thea. thea. the is all taking place near or in Waco, Texas?
She's the pretty, Ms. Pretty Face.
Which is weird, because I thought I was Miss Pretty Face of Waco.
I thought I...
No.
They must just keep all that honor to everyone.
But she also says that Jeremy had wanted to go to Texas for his birthday
Her brother they wanted to go to the tiddy bar in Texas. I don't know. I don't know Maybe they're not in Oklahoma. I don't know I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where? I don't know. It's in Texas. It's a waive. Oh, I don't know. I don't think to tell the today. the their their the the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the the the the the their the the the the the thee. thee. the their thee. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. the. tod. tod. today. today. today. today. today. today. tid. tid. tid. tid. tid. tid. today. today. today. today. couple, the HG TV, couple that you want to set on fires from?
Oh, you thought I was going to talk about the cult.
No, no, no, no.
I was going to talk about Chip and Joanna Gaines.
George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Munro,
John Quincy Adams.
This has to be what Hamilton is. I'm going to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just to just just just just just just just to just just just just just just just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just just just just just just just to just just to just just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I the the the the to just. I to just. I'm going to just. I'm going to just. I'm going to just. I'm going to just to just to just to just to just to just to just the the the the thi. I the the the the the thi. I the th. I thi. I'm th. I'm going to to thi. I'm going that that that thatthroughout the episode. We'll get there. Yes, I thought you were gonna reference David Koresh.
And the Branch Dividians.
Yeah, a much more interesting thing than Chip and Joanna Gaines, a fixer-uper.
You know who those people are?
They're monsters.
I never watched no HGTV have tiny houses on it? Yeah, I don't watch that tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th-I's, thi. thi. th-I's, th-I's, th, th, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thin, t thi. Yeah, t tttttttttttttttt ttttttt ttt toda. toda. toda. toge. toge. toge. toge. t toge. toge. t toge. toge. today. thea. t t DV have tiny houses on it? Yeah, I don't watch that though. I watched a marathon of that at my sister's house once.
Wow.
You know what's shitty about tiny houses?
They're tiny.
They're tiny.
That they're fucking trailers and my people have been living in them for generations. And like all of a sudden all these bouge white people are like, we didn't, no, no, thau, thau, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thin, thin, thin, th-a, thin, thin, thi, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, thin-a, thin-a, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny house in there. No, they had a coffee pot.
A Mr. Coffee on the Formica, like any good American.
Yeah, that you put Maxwell House in.
Hell yeah.
Or Chuck full of nuts.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, I'm going to talk about chickaury next.
I don't know. Oh boy, is this a movie? Wait, we're still doing a movie, I thought we were just hanging up for Christmas times.
You want to... I'm going to have a Sarah's pretzel.
Those were good. I had one of each of these, so now I need to move back to the gingerbread cookies.
So Jimmy Dean is trying to buy out the bakery, which doesn't make sense because if you're going to put it out of business, why do you you you you you you you to th. th. His daughter is Miss Pretty Face of Waco. Lornadine. Lornadine.
I think it's a Lornadune.
Oh yeah, a hundred percent.
God, a to'n'a d'une.
Is that good?
That's Scottish?
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Or you were a gypsy. I mean, whatever, fine, so they offer her $50,000 for it. Which if they don't own the building, it's probably not even going to cover their inventory
because how much fucking baked goods does that place need?
They have so many.
Maybe they're failing because they are turning over that inventory every night.
You know what I mean?
Baked goods don't last.
That was insane. And like such a variety of baked goods too. I feel like the person who made this movie was like, you know what bakery? You know it a bakery? Let's bakery. They got quicants and
giant cakes. Yeah, and little cakes and everything. Don't forget about Julie the
counter help. Oh, the Hispanic, who literally exists only to be Hispanic.
And you know she's Hispanic because she keeps saying things like, more chau, in the middle of sentences like Alex Trebek, being like,
this, the capital of El Salvador, is known as, like, that's what Julia's doing.
So that's your Trebekian accent?
Yeah.
He's Canadian.
You know who I love?
Alex Trebek?
Yeah. Even postbek. Yeah.
Even post mustache?
Yeah.
Still would.
You can't do that while I'm sipping beer.
What is her last name?
Is she Julia?
She's not.
Oh, Julie.
She's not.
I thought she was maybe like Julie child.
Julie snickerdoodle.
No.
No.
And that's pretty, well, until we meet Amos, Cadbury later.
Don't forget about brick.
I am so infuriated that his name is brick.
Tell me about that.
Let's talk about that.
Why would someone the name be brick?
I don't know.
No one's name is brick, unless you're a palen child.
Oh yeah. Is it one of the kids named Track? Yeah, he just got arrested. Oh, what do you do? Some domestic violent shit.
Oh boy.
Yeah, they're not good people.
Did the cops have to track him down?
Ugh, I'm dead and a ghost.
Andrew Jackson.
Andrew Jackson, Martin, Martin, William, Henry Harrison, John Tyler, James K.
Polk and Zachary Taylor.
Two.
No, I'm sorry.
I don't know where you're going.
Next is Millard Fillmore, which I already did.
And then I was like, do I skip that?
Because I already said it.
I said Andrew Jackson, I would like to redo it.
Go ahead.
What you guys don't know, these are all planned out bits that we're doing right now.
You think I'm taking notes on movies? I'm just writing down the jokes.
Wellcraft, holy shit. Are we doing this episode? I feel like this is really a mess.
You just reminded me of something though.
You just pull a sheaf of pages? Katie. Yeah. You like jokes?
I love jokes. I've been printed out a bunch of Christmas theme jokes from the Boys' Life website. Is this what we're doing?
Is this who we are?
Yeah, go for it.
Give me one.
Hit me with it.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
I have no fucking idea.
Do you smell carrots?
Oh, I wish I was dead.
I honestly wish I was dead.
I'm only reading the ones that made me chuckle in some degree.
So all of them.
No, there's a lot that aren't highlighted.
Oh, you legit point, printed that out and highlighted on it.
I am a bat-ba.
I'll do one more and then we'll get back into the movie. You're ready?
There's one?
It was Andrew Jackson.
It was not Andrew Johnson.
I'm going to pick this up again and I'm going to get it right.
Oh yeah, it's Andrew Jackson, yeah.
Well, Andrew Johnson is, um, he came after.
He came after Lincoln, the assu. Yeah. He was briefly president between Lincoln's assassination and Yolcees S. Grant.
Which you will know when I get to,
Millard, Philmore, Franklin, Pierce, James Buchan, and Abraham Lincoln.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
I presume because of the state of the world and a chemical problem in his brain,
and,
you know, it's just hard sometimes to be an elf and to be anybody.
That's close.
Yeah, but is it?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Oh my god.
You laughed at that.
You printed that out, and you laughed at it.
Look in the mirror.
I have no shame. All right, so we've met our cast of the murder of the murder of the murder the murder the murder the murder the murder the murder the murder the murder the murder thauupper thaupper thaupper toeeupper toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to bea. toea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe so we've met our cast of characters.
We've had our set up of the murders at the beginning of the movie.
Right. We've seen a cloaked figure in broad daylight drop off a box of gingerbread seasoning
that appeared to have been ordered. Nobody seemed surprised by its arrival.
Gary Busey was executed, I'm sorry, forgive me.
Millard Findlemyr was executed to tude Hayes previously.
But they didn't inform the families about, they read about it in the paper.
Oh, did you hear that he was murdered? Oh, was he?
Uh, no, they call you.
They call you. They call you.
Andrew Johnson, Ulysses, S. Grant, Rutherford, B. Hays.
James a Garfield, Chester A. Arthur Grover, Cleveland.
This movie seriously broke us.
I'm not okay.
It's the worst movie we've ever done.
Spoiler alert.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
So, they get the delivery of, uh, Finnomire's dead.
They get to the delivery of the ginger cookie spice. They...
Brick bleeds in it.
Let's just talk, let's just, yeah.
Brick is chopping something, cuts himself.
Put his hand over the bat as you do when you're bleeding.
After he's announced that he's a wrestler named the butcher baker.
I like that. Did you?
Did you?
thinne. Do you me nuts that he wasn't. Yeah. And they say it a billion times.
Do you think he has a finishing move,
that's the candlestake maker?
I would like that a lot.
Yeah.
I'm pro brick.
I'm on team brick.
Oh, I'm not.
The problem with this movie, cute, dorky guy who likes her and who's nice. Yeah, but Amos is edgy. Just see that eyebrow ring?
Did you catch that sometimes people have an accent
and sometimes they don't in this movie?
And some people have accents and others don't?
Why?
Because there was no continuity in this film whatsoever.
They all wore the same clothes,
and that's as far as we got.
I swear to God, thanks. There had to have been days when someone just went,
I can't.
And they were like, well, get Jesse in here.
She'll do it.
So brick bleeds into the seasoning.
And then they leave the back,
and when they come back,
someone has filled the dough maker with a bunch of dough,
and they're like, well I guess we'll just put the seasoning the seasoning the seasoning the seasoning the dough maker with a bunch of dough and they're like well I guess we'll just put the seasoning in there. That's how you bake the bloody seasoning. It's
clearly like got clumps of blood in it. It's disgusting. It's like how would you
sell that? How dare you? Why would you make the most gigantic gingerbread man
that's ever existed? How would you even know this is why your bakery is doing poorly? You're making a blood cookie that would cost like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the most g. the most g. the most g. the most g. the most g. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the g. the the g. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. te. te. te. te. te. te. t're making a blood cookie that would cost like $80 for something to buy it I
couldn't figure out why there were empty bottles of whiskey everywhere and do
they announce that the mother was an alcohol yeah firing a shotgun
into the street no cops come no no no cops in this movie no no no cops in this
movie no no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah No, no cops in this movie. No. No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Benjamin Harrison, then Cleveland came back again.
William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt,
William Howard Taft and Woodrow Wilson.
Done?
I'm done for now.
Okay.
I don't want to blow it all now.
We're just getting started on this movie.
Kitty, I hope, hope, wherever you are, they got strippers and lone star.
Me too, I guess.
Did she say titty bar?
I think she says titty bar.
She's like 57 times, yeah, yeah.
I mean, okay, like, so the dough becomes a person.
I don't know. Is there such a thing as a walk-in oven? I don't know.
And why is it sometimes hot and other times not hot?
But like, almost kills the mother,
but then they just run in and pull her out.
She was in an oven.
What are you trying to say to me?
So,
Brick Fields. I'm sorry. So the, she makes the cookie, she puts it in the oven, and then Lorna Dune comes in
and starts a fight with her, which they both run into the breaker box which makes electricity
shoot into the oven.
Okay.
Fine, I mean, fine, fine, fine.
And then this activates this half-ass fucking puppet.
I thought it was sort of cute.
At first, and then you realize that there's almost no motion to this puppet whatsoever.
It's just bouncing around on the screen.
It's literally a doll.
It's like such a poor man's Chuckie, too.
Oh God, it, so genuine.
It was a Christmas miracle.
It really was.
Oh my God.
I think I'm red-faced and how shitty that joke was.
Guys, this is your Christmas gift from us.
Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover,
Franklin, Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard
Nixon, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy Carter, Ronald, George Bush, and now Bill Clinton.
I'm out.
I think I'm done with this episode.
No, I have to do a remix of your president song at the end.
I look forward to not hearing that.
So now the Ginger Dead Man is going to kill people.
Yeah, and that's it, really.
Wouldn't you say?
That is the entirety of the rest of the film.
Except that Sarah and Amos fall in love.
We're supposed to believe that they were peers who grew up together.
He is literally 10 years older than her.
She is my age.
It's 10 years difference.
We were not six together. You were 16. That's
weird. Yeah, no, it makes sense when our friendship started. And they didn't start. Yeah, much, much
earlier. Much earlier. No. So, we should say that Amos is Lorna Dean's boyfriend, in quotes.
Like, she's, she's playing him she's leading him on he refers
to himself as a delinquent yeah he's an adult I thought the same thing you
can't be an adult delinquent that's just a criminal so it's 2005 when this
film is made yeah presumably at least that's when it was released it may have
been made in some eternal time for people I think it transcends time
he's wearing Doc Martins mm-hmm may have been made in some eternal time for people. I think it transcends time. He's
wearing Doc Martins. Clam diggers with a dragon going down the side of them?
Was it a dragon? Of some sort. I couldn't tell through the pixelation.
I don't even know what his face looked like. A giant looping chain wallet. Yes. Kind of spiky blonde hair. Cut off sleeve t-sie shirt. Like he might have played bass in face to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the to. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. th. th. t. t. t. tha. tha. tha. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. And. And. And, th. And, the the the the the the the the t. And t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t t t tttttttttttr-I tr-I. tr-I. tr-I. tr-I. tr-I. ttae. Like he might have played bass in face-to-face at some point.
And I definitely clip-on eyebrow ring.
I don't think it's there for the entire movie either.
I don't, I think there are scenes that he's not wearing it.
Or it's just that poorly pixelated.
God damn it.
What are we doing, Alan, we watched it. We may have accidentally made other people watch it.
Oh, we definitely did.
We had people sending us messages that said,
watching this again because of you guys.
We, you're, that's your own fucking fault.
You know what you're doing, dummies.
So Gingerbread, dead man, sorry, forgive me.
You're forgiven.
Announces that he is indeed Miller to the drunk mother.
When he chops her finger off and said,
Have you ever tried lady fingers?
I shingfully laughed at that.
Katie.
I did.
I was like, all right.
Is this well like when you're on a long drive and you don't have any music to listen to? So you're listening to the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio the radio and you're the radio and you're the radio and you're the radio and you're the radio and you're the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, and you're the radio, the the to, and you're, and you're, and you're, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too, to to to to to to to, to, to the radio and you hear up my chemical romance song and you're like, that sounds like music I've listened to. I'll enjoy that now.
Sure, exactly. That sounds like a joke. Have you tried lady fingers?
I laughed. I did like that the finger just spud in the air for a long time.
And then later they're like, look it's pointing at something. No, it's a fucking finger. It's always gonna be pointing. Look at your fingers right now, they're pointing at something.
Not like that, not like that.
He, Ginger Dead Man is just,
he like cuts up Lorna Doon's face,
Miss Pretty Face of Waco.
Why don't they leave the bakery?
Yes, because invariably they can't find one of them. One of them is always missing. It doesn't the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho-s. tho-s. thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoing of them. One of them is always missing.
It doesn't seem to be a large structure from the outside, but okay.
Why does brick show back up?
I don't know.
He went to go wrestle, but he like, he keeps inviting Sarah Lee.
Nobody doesn't like her. Oh please, I saw you reach for it. You can't not know.
Keeps inviting her to watch him wrestler.
He would have just gone to that. That seemed fun. Yeah. Butcher Baker, see what he's going to be?
He shows up in ski goggles for some reason.
Yes. And then like a t-shirt with a meat cleaver crossed with a rolling pin.
It's cute.
I think Brick is cute.
I don't like his accent, but it's fine.
Well, it's not here for the whole film.
That's true.
And all hell is breaking loose, I guess.
Big quotes, nothing's really happening.
They're being chased by a pretty much inanimate
gingerbread man. He's not chasing them, yeah, you're right, he's not chasing them. He's
just being like, hey, and they're like, blah. Like, there's no shots of like camera
real close to the floor following someone around or anything. Like, come on Charles,
what are you doing? It's like nobody wanted to bend their knees for this moving. I'm getting scale, I'm not bending my knees for that.
Exactly. They find Julie in the freezer covered in whip cream and she's like shaking real hard and
Lorna goes, is she dead? Like that person that's moving? No. No. No. Nobody really, there's like not enough
deaths in this movie. No. The only people that die are the Deans, right? Yes.
Jimmy Dean gets run over by his car, which is moving, I don't know, six, seven miles an hour.
For like 10 minutes, you just fucking move.
He clearly can't turn the wheel.
No.
I don't know.
He was, oh God, he's not even trying either. Was I, I, th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, there thi, there there there there there there thi, thi, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, thi, there, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, there, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. there's thi. thi. thi. there's thi. thi. there's there's thi. thi. there, there, there, he's not even trying either. Was it, I, why did this movie happen?
I don't know, Katie.
Why have there been so many sequels?
Why do 60% of people on Rotten Tomatoes like this?
I don't know, people recommended this movie to us.
I mean, sometimes movies are so bad, they're funny.
This is not one of those.
Was this movie sincere? No? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi, thi? thia, thi-a? tha, tha, tha, thi-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thiiiiiiia? thia? thia? thia? thia? thi? thi? thi? thi No. Was, was this movie sincere?
No.
I mean, was it trying to be a movie?
I think it was trying to be a movie.
I don't think it was trying to be good.
Was it intentionally bad like Shark Nato?
I don't even think I went that far.
That's what I'm saying.
It's existing in this weird world of not being to be being bad enough to be bad. Oh for sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, so bad that it's enjoyable. Right. It's just stupid.
I mean it's it's a C student of a film. Like I'm gonna get out of this school. You're not gonna remember me probably. It's another one of those movies where I'm like, well I could act. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the th. th. th. th. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's one of those movies where I'm like, well I could act. Oh yes. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
I have notes like, why in God's name are they kissing when Amos and Sarah started making
out for no fucking reason.
He's also always hugging her from behind, which makes me uncomfortable.
It feels very high school to me.
Oh yeah. Yeah, especially anyone you know that he's 10 years older than she is.
I get like, I can't think of any situation where I am fighting for my death that I would stop
down for a make-out sesh.
Oh no, I can't, no.
Like, it's just like that.
I wouldn't stop eating lunch for a make-out sesh, but that's just me. So Brick, I don't know, Brick comes back and eats his head.
He eats the ginger dead man.
And he makes a got milk joke, which is, it's 2005.
It is way too late for a got milk joke.
Maybe this was filmed in 95.
Maybe.
It would make so much more sense.
Maybe. I'm going to look at the production.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Plot.
Is it blank where it says plot?
There is not even a production section on Wikipedia.
Technically, not produced.
Never happened.
So yeah, he eats the head of the cookie, and the cookie's laughing the whole time
that he's eating it. Yeah. And th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the whole time that he's eating it. Is he? Yeah. And then brick becomes the cookie. Yeah that sucked. I didn't like that. Because you
love brick? Yeah, wood. He's your favorite. I mean if you're face with brick or
Amos like... Sure. Pickens are slim but they're not that slim.
I think I'm choosing Ginger Dead Man of Ramis.
Did you notice that the gun had limitless bullets in it?
Oh, they do. That's how they work now.
It was a sick shooter that they shot seven or eight hundred times.
Why, yeah, fine, sure.
I just, uh, I just, uh, are you looking up reviews now?
I'm trying.
I just, it can't even, I don't even know why I'm bothering.
It's a fun and cheesy little time killer with some twisted villain that will likely spawn some fans.
Well, I don't like movies to be time killers.
You know what I mean?
I think there are people who do, though, like, like, like, like, like, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th there are people who do, though. Like, I need to fill two hours of my life.
So do it with something enjoyable.
Yeah.
Rewat Foyle's War.
What do you guys doing?
You can't, it's not on Netflix anymore.
Ah, ah.
Ah.
Ah.
To call a film, like the thi.
.
..
. It's really more a comedy spoof of the genre itself. Sirs, what the fuck?
It is not.
I am here to tell you it is not.
Brick gets pushed into the oven in a pushing match.
There's not a fight that happens.
He gets pushed into the oven after he becomes the ginger dead man.
The oven that can seemingly heat up at the snap of a finger,
even though it's the size of a house. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their's, their's, their's, their's, thigh, thigh, thi, thi, thi, thiake, thi, thi, thiake, thi, thi, thi, the brikeets, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. Br, brick, brick, brick, brick, brick, thrike, th. th. th. th. Br. Bri. Bri. Bri. Bri. Bri. Bric. Brick, brick. Brick, brick. Brick, brick. Brckekekekeked. Browne, brick. Browne, thi. Brick, thi. Browne, brick, throwne, brick, throwne. Brick, brick thi. Brick, thiwa. Brick, thixteck, brick gets gets gets thi. in it dying of the heat but they could just take her out because it was not hot. Because it was fun because you yeah you don't
walk up walk in there in your clothes burst into flames. And that's the end of
the movie until we see the little coat at the end where they're outside and
they're having a bake sale on the street in front of the bakery. And fucking Amos is hugging her from behind again. thus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. Amus. Amus is. Amus is. Amus. Amus is th. Amus. Amus. Amus. Amus is th. Amus is that's. Amus. Amus. Am I is that's their their their their. Am. Am I's. Amus. Amus. Amus. Am. Am I th. Am. Am. Am. Am. Am I. Am I. Am I is. Am I is. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I. Am I's. Am I's. Amus. Amus. Amus. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos. A. Amos. A. A. A. A. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos is. Amos. Amos is. Amos. Amos is a. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos. Amos. Who are those nurses that say, thank you for all you did for the hospital?
I don't know.
What do they do for the hospital?
I don't know.
And the nurses seemingly are only there
so that they can say, so when the little kids walk them and go,
do you have any gingerbread cookies? The nurses say, yes, someone just dropped off this box of yes, an old lady just dropped off this box of cookies,
which I assume is the mother of Millard.
I guess.
And then they open the box and all the cookies have googly eyes.
Yeah.
Dun t-da-d. I guess.
I mean, I guess.
So at this point, on the timer on the screen there are 10 minutes
left. Oh really? So I was like, fuck you movie, I'm watching this to the end. Of course.
So angry because I'm like there's gonna be a stinger at the end. Was there? What was the next
10 minutes? It was credits. How could that many people work on this film?
Because they rolled it slower than molasses to pad out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they needed to be a full-length movie. To get, it was 80 minutes, is that the mark? I think
so, I don't know what the, how long the movie is, but it's something like that. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Wow. I was so angry that my final note that my final note is fuck this movie. Well, that. th the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi the thi thi thi the the thi the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. the. the. the. the. this movie. Wow.
Happy holidays. At least it wasn't a Christmas movie.
Yeah, no, it wasn't.
We really thought it was.
Why didn't anyone stop us?
Why didn't anyone tell us?
Because the way the time log worked out, we just put this out,
put up the episode where we announced this on Monday.
We're recording it two days later. Yeah. Guys, you got two days.
Like, couldn't you have helped us?
I know, I'd already watched it.
I've already watched it.
That's not true.
I don't know when I watched it.
I have no memory of it, honestly.
I think I watched it yesterday?
Did I watch it yesterday? all of a sudden. You definitely did. I think we did smoke at some point while you were watching it. Yeah. Oh yeah yeah, yeah. Katie. Before we move into the ratings phase, I'm ready. Hit me.
Keep in mind, these are the ones that I high lit. There are ones that didn't make the cut.
This is one. Okay, sure, sure, sure. What nationality is Santa Claus? Uh, I don't know.
He's North Polish.
I don't get it.
I don't was dead.
I wish I was ginger dead.
Man.
That joke was a two.
This movie's a negative two.
I'm out.
I'm done.
Goodbye.
I'm also going to keep saying, I'm out like it's the 90s.
Is that okay?
Yeah, don't let my chain wall hit you when you leave.
That's harsh.
We harsh, Ty. This harsh, tie.
This is in my humble opinion, and I may have forgotten something,
but this is the worst movie we've ever done.
Yeah.
I don't think we've ever done a movie that people cared less about.
The god monster of Indian flats.
They cared about that.
That was a project and a love, a laborer tho. This was a the, I a th th th th th th th, I a f a f a f f f f f, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm a thi, I'm a thi, I'm a th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's thiiiii, a labor of love. This was a, fuck you, I'm making a movie.
This was a, I got a camera for Christmas, I'm making a movie.
This is a negative 10.
Yeah, this is the lowest score I could possibly give a movie.
Wow.
I feel like I kind of stepped on you with that negative too.
No, no, not at all. Because it's eight more than yours. That doesn't seem right.
Yeah, this is the worst.
Yeah.
Fuck you all.
Katie.
Alan.
Can I read you something from mail bag?
I love that.
K.
This is an email that we got.
Yeah, I did. I like highlighting stuff.
So I can read it easier. Don't laugh at me. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. got. You highlighted it. Yeah, I did. I like highlight and stuff. So I can read it easier.
Don't laugh at me.
I'm 119 years old, years young.
So this is an email.
It's a little bit long, but I'm going to go ahead and read it.
Great.
What up, famulance?
Cute.
You thought I wasn't gonna like that. You looked me like I wasn't gonna like it. I liked it. I recently found your podcast after reading some Hellraiser comics
and seeking out a podcast discussion about these movies.
After finding the types of shows you'd expect,
he goes on to Dave a couple of podcasts.
Name them, name names, those start feuds.
Bill and Billy's Scarecast, and the horror geeks.
Seeing the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the seeing the name werewolf ambulance really stood out.
What the fuck could that possibly mean, I thought.
Same.
Sounded like my kind of show.
Okay?
Oh, yeah.
Well, good.
I'm pleased.
Yeah.
I put on the Hellraiser episode expecting to hear appreciation for the rending of souls and eternal suffering.
What did I get instead? Incessant. Come to daddy? Chokes. Incessant implies
that it was too much and I think it was just the right amount. How could this be?
Question mark exclamation point? How could this be?
Have you watched that fucking movie? Sorry about your comics? How could someone
be laughing at the movie that I love that I find super creepy and disturbing?
And why was I laughing so hard in spite of it all?
Good, good.
Good.
Good.
After that episode, you two had me hooked.
So I went back to the beginning, the intro, I forgot we did an intro.
Yeah. We should have listened to that.
Yeah. We should be listening to that. I betthe. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. to be. to be. to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to me. to me. to me. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I'm just saying, and then over and over.
No, the intro, didn't we just like talk about ourselves?
Yeah.
About why we were doing a horror movie podcast.
That's silly, why are we doing it?
I don't know, we'd have to go back and listen.
I'm not doing that.
No, I probably will.
I was pleasantly surprised to find you, you're both in in P. Pittsburgh. I live in Western PA, Greensburg, for 37 of my 38 years, so I get the
bonus of some ginger jokes sprinkled in with a horror talk. You're welcome.
I'm still in the early shows, though, so hopefully you're still in Pittsburgh
and that applies. I'm kind of, I'm never leaving.
Anyway, thanks, great show, Jason, Greensburg PA. Jason, thanks. Sorry that it wasn't what you thought it was going to be be the be to be the to be to be to be, but to be, but to be, but the to be, to be, to be, the the to be, to be, to be, the, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi. thi. thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. thea, thea, thea, toge. thi. Sorry that it wasn't what you thought it was going to be, but glad you liked it anyway.
Yeah.
We've been getting a few of those notices lately that like, I didn't think that this was
going to be what it is, but I like what it is.
Maybe we're not advertising it correctly.
More horror comedy.
More comedy.
I feel like that just all point we took it more seriously.
Sure. And I feel like that just all those veils have fallen.
We do a little bit of both. I feel like the exorcist episode was pretty serious.
That's some serious talk. I dropped some serious stuff. Yeah. I knew about that serial killer that I got from another podcast.
Yeah, you did. Can we start a feud with some of these podcasts? How are we gonna do? I go go I I I I I I I I I I I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I feel. I th. I feel like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. th. I feel. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. theeea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. I feel the. can we start a feud with someone to these podcasts? How are we going to start a feud?
What are we going to do?
That's a fight.
How does one start beef?
Uh, well, first you have to drop a distrack.
I'm tired.
Exactly.
I don't think we're going to be good at feuding.
What if this was our distract. Hey, you guys, podcast about us.
Ugh.
We are the best podcast, and you aren't a good podcast, sir.
Why does it sound like we're saying the stuff backwards?
We aren't the math pod.
If you play that part backwards, it's us, like, just super complimenting them.
What are we doing next week? I don't know. What do we do like, uh, just super complimenting them. What are we doing next week?
I don't know.
What do we do like, uh...
You know what?
So, in the grand tradition of shitting on movies,
I gave the happening by M.9, Shia Malin, a lot of shit.
Yeah, you did. How do you feel about that now?
It's a goddam work of art.
It's a masterpiece. Why don't we do another one of his movies?
And give him some props maybe, if we like it.
If we like it.
Yeah, why don't we go back to where it all started for him?
Do-do-doo-doo.
You're the one with a machine.
You're the center of it. You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
Let's do the six cents.
It is.
It's another free movie if you've got Netflix.
We're just not spending the money you guys.
We're just not going to do it anymore.
We've spent a lotto it on the day that it drops.
Drops. That's a distract word.
Thank you so much for being with us. This is actually our 156th episode. That's gross. So this would be like our... Season finale. Yeah, this is... We're going into season the season three, season of the witch. No, we just just this is this is th. It th. It is th. We th. We th. We th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It's Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is the Christmas is Christmas the Christmas the Christmas th. It's Christmas is Christmas the Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas. It's Christmas is Christmas. It's Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. We just th. We just th. We just th. We just th. We just th. We just th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a Christmas th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's gross. So this would be like our... Season finale! Yeah, this is... We're going into season 3, season of the witch. No, we just finished season 3. We're going into
season 4. Are you shitting me? 52, 52, 52. Holy crap. Our fourth year is being entered now.
Yeah, thank you so much. Thanks for just everything. The holidays are a great time to show appreciation, if nothing else, so I appreciate you guys've stuck with us for four years or you've just gotten on board now and
you're going back through and listen to all of us imagine having all of those
you know when you like find something you like and then you're like oh is there
156 of them yeah I feel like you would thrown to theyre's the to the to the to be a miss I feel like the the the the they they they I they they they they they they they they they they they they they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's their their their they's they's their their their their their they're just they're just their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they's they's they's they's they's they's they. I I they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's their they's real misses in there though, like, I wish we could tell them which one's not to listen to.
Do you have one that comes to mind as being a miss? Uh, yeah, the, um, fuck. The, uh, well, I'll come back to you.
What? What? Silent Night, Deadly Night was the like, it's my least favorite episode that we did. This does bring an interesting point that a question I wanted to ask you you you you you you you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah the. Yeah, uh the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, f. Yeah, f. Yeah, f. Yeah, f. Yeah, f. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi. Uh wanted to ask you, do you have a favorite Christmas song? I like the Peanuts Christmas album. It's a dope best. Yeah. Do you have a
Christmas song that you would... I agree with you, that's my favorite Christmas
stuff too. Do you have a Christmas song that you would ban from the girls forever?
Really? Yeah. Why do you say that That song's gonna be burnt to the ground.
I'd never sung again.
It's date rapy, right?
Oh yeah, it's grosher than gross, yeah.
Can I also put in a plug for the Maria Carrie Christmas song?
I mean, everybody knows.
It's top 10.
It's like top top time. It's so good. George Washington.
Happy holidays.
Thank you guys for everything.
Get in toucest with us.
We love hearing for me.
Yeah, send us an email leave us to review on iTunes.
Can touch with us on Facebook.
People have been doing it.
It's great.
We love you.
We love you.
Oh, we're getting creepy again.
Yes.
Thanks for seeing to another to another to another to another to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to the the listening to another episode of Wear the Ambulance.
Bye.
Bye.
Happy holidays.