Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 164- Puppet Master (1989)
Episode Date: February 19, 2018In our very first two-part episode arc, we're discussing the 1989 film "Puppet Master" (don't forget to tune in next week for the sequel, "Puppet Master 2" because we have no taste, obviously). Specia...l topics for your consideration include: bad Southern accents, funeral pranks, confusing motives, Barbara Crampton, not being a great psychic, leaps of logic and a game of puppet name guessing. We do love film franchises here at Werewolf Ambulance, and with that in mind, we've done three of the "Friday the 13th" films. Check out those episodes: Episode 32- "Part VII: The New Blood," Episode 117- "Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan" and Episode 141- the original, "Friday the 13th." Have you seen this one? Have you seen the second one? Have you seen any of the other ELEVEN films in this series? Finally, do you like this two-parter idea we had? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.  Check out our sponsor this week as well: Cryptocurium (www.cryptocurium.com) where cool horror stuff gets handmade and then lovingly delivered to your door in the form of the Parcel of Terror on a monthly basis. In this week's episode, we are unboxing a Parcel of Terror that we were super psyched about. You can also sign up for their secret society, The Order of the Thinned Veil, in which you can profess your love for all things Halloween and be rewarded handsomely for it! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alan.
Katie.
There are 12 sequels to this film.
Do you want to do them all?
My first notice this movie has 12 fucking sequels.
twelve seqing sequels.
Let's do each of them in order.
Yes.
I would like to say yes.
Lean in.
Cheryl Sandberg this shit.
Yes.
Thank you, Cheryl.
Hold on.
Katie.
Hold on.
I'm getting a premonition, Katie.
Oh, tell me about it.
I'm seeing that we're going to do a ratings phase in this and we're going to discuss
all the stuff that I'm going to talk about right now later on in this episode to pad out the
episode. You're probably right. I have a premonition. You look like a weird NASCAR driver. That haircut is abominable, sir.
Which is that a premonition?
That's not a premonition.
Are you talking about not Corbyn'sen or not Jeff Fahey?
I don't know.
I'm talking about the guy with the weird mullet that lives.
Oh yes, you're talking about weird Jeff Fahey?
I don't know who that is. I'll show you a picture of him. Nah. All right. This is not. It's not a visual medium. Katie, what is this? This is
where all family lends. It's a podcast. Everyone's got a podcast these days. Did you know
that everyone has a podcast these days? It's like a social security number.
You're born with them. They're just given to you at birth. Yeah. This is Jeff Fahey.
And that guy is not Jeff Fahey. He is definitely not Jeff Fahey. He's an escort driver.
It's like the chubbies. Barrel Wall trip. What are we talking about? What are we doing? What are we talking about?
The puppet master? Or, or puppet master.
It doesn't matter, it's both of these things.
What are we gonna do next week?
Probably master two?
Probably, you know, the veil has been dropped.
We do these.
We record two at one.
Are you full of regret?
Oh. Over the podcast? No, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, the, the the, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the podcast? No, no, I'm fine. About our choice.
About our choice. I will get into that in Bubbid Master 2. All right, stick around for next
week when we talk about the sequel. Well, they know that we're doing too because I put out
a tweet on Twitter asking for people's O-Pines. Did you get any? I got mostly on Instagram. A couple things on Twitter. Yeah, we'll th thto it at the end. We'll get to it at the end. Yeah. I don't mean to mess
with the format of the show. It is working. It's blowing up. So Uncle Lewis is in
this movie again. So much Uncle Lewis. Can you believe how many Uncle Lewis is we've had? I think this is our third? I think thi this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. thi thi thi thi thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. Yeah. I to. I to. I to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there was... Tales on the Dark Side.
Yeah.
What else is Uncle Lewis?
I forget, I'll look it up.
Okay.
He was in the Sentinel.
Oh, holy shit, yes.
Oh, he was young and huge quotation marks in that movie.
Yeah. I just looked at that and I was like, did we do the Sentinel?
That was the movie that was real fun until it wasn't.
Yeah, but it also had Lenny Brisco, Jerry Orbach.
And Jeff Goldblum?
And Jeff Goldblum?
And Chris Sorriand.
Yeah, and his weird John Waters mustache.
Let's do that movie again.
Katie, we've got to get master first. Okay, and then we have to get through puppet master too.
Can I give you a little quiz about puppets in the puppet master franchise?
Sure, I'm ready.
You'll tell me whether or not these are puppets from the puppet master franchise?
Okay.
Adolf Hitler?
I think so, because there's some Nazi shit in here.
you're correct. Which I want to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get into into to get to get to get into to get into, but I, but I, but I'm to get, but I'm to get, but I'm to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. to to to get, but I, but I, but I to get. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get into, but I'm to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that in Puppet Master 2 next week. We really should have planned this better.
Faust and his wife. See I know that also. Yeah, that's too. There are two. Was there a puppet
named Plumpy? No. No, it was not a puppet named Humpty. Was there a puppet named Humpty? Oh you're asking the questions I'm sorry. How about
Mephisto? No. Yes. Shredder Khan? No. Gene Shaheen. No. No that's a
politician's name that I really love singing to myself. Gene Shaheen, Gene
you can put it to any tune. Yeah. And what about Blitzkrieg?
That I'm going to go with no.
There definitely is.
There's a whole section of just Nazi puppets.
I assume that's later on.
I would hope.
We should have done the, we should do all 13 movies.
We should have done them in, you know, timeline order as opposed to chronological order. Because they do, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. And, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is threat, is they. And, they. We's, they. Wea, the. Wea, their, their, their, is. Wea, their, is. And, is. And, is.'re going to do them now. Because they do, there's some that are take place in the past.
I mean if they've got an Adolf Hitler puppet, I have to assume it's going back in time.
Finally, is there a puppet named Squants?
Squants?
Squaants?
That's a disgusting word.
Yeah.
No, unfortunately. There is not. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I have. I have. I th. I have, th. I have, I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I th. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. th. th. th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have. I have. I have, I have. I have th. I wish there was above a name squants. Oh, God. Squan... Oh my God.
It doesn't feel good in your mouth, does it, Mel?
I feel like I need to just get one of those tongue scrapers and just right down.
There is one named Pajama Boy, though.
That I love.
I'm kind of a pajama boy myself.
I'm their thanks.
I'm their thingaaa They're going out of the house sweatpants. They're from Leggings Depot and Amazon highly recommend their merchandise. They're not sponsoring
me to say this. So just a free plug for the... Depot. Yeah, you can take that out of FDPO. Well we gotta get it out there first. No, let? This one's R-rated.
Yeah, Titty Town.
My second note was rated R, prepare for Tiddy's.
So this is another Charles Band movie.
You say another.
His name is familiar, I don't know why and did not look it.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Why did we do this so close to that last one? Because, you know, this is a, this is almost a redemption of the the the the the the the redemption the redemption the redemption the redemption the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the redemption of the the to to to to do this so close to that last one?
Because, you know, this is a, this is almost a redemption of Charles Band, I feel like after Ginger Dead Man?
Sure.
So, but this was way before, Charles Band has fallen.
Far, far.
Judging my puppet master two, has he fallen that far?
He also made puppet master two, you're right.
Did he make, I don't even want to know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know know to know know know know to know know to know know to know to know know to know to know to know to know to know to know the to know the the to know the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the far. He also made Puppet Master 2, you're right. Did he make, I don't even want to know how many of the other ones he made. I'm pretty sure, they're all under full moon productions.
Okay. I mean he ended up making some money on him. Well I'm sure. Yeah. He's the king of a
trashy 80s, direct that. I don't care.
You know how my research is.
Yeah, you're right.
And originally intended for a theatrical release in summer 1989
before being released on home video the following September.
E.
This only has like, it has two actors in it that I recognize,
and one that I'm like 100% on, well other than William Hickey. So there's William Hickey. Is that Uncle Lewis? That's Uncle Lewis.
Okay.
And then there is the Almighty Barbara Crampton.
Where was she?
She sees the psychic in the beginning.
She's the blonde lady.
Oh, yeah.
But then the other woman kind of her.
She looked like Narburned. Barbara Crampton, I was like, she got huge nipples. I don't think that's true. And then I realized that wasn't her.
No, no, Marbernapton.
Yeah.
Babs cramps.
It was weird how much she looked like.
She looked like if you're like squinting at Barbara Crampton.
Well, she's wearing those big glasses.
Yeah, it was very confusing.
And she's very serious. And who was the other actor you knew? Paul Lamatt, he's just in a bunch of, he's like a bit player in a bunch of me.
He's Alex.
Is that Barrel, Walter?
That's Barrel Walter.
I'm trying to wreck my brain of other Nescar.
Phil Elliot.
Mm-hmm.
Like the name Barrel for somebody.
Because it perfectly summates.
Batman, yeah.
So we start off this movie in 19 and 39,
Year of Our Lord.
In a hotel in California.
Such a lovely place.
I wish you'd opened with that.
I wish that was our intro.
Oh, man. I want to hate the eagles and then I hear the, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I'd, th, th, I'd, I'd, I'd th, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, th, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, I th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiii, thiii, thi, want to hate the Eagles and then I hear them and I'm like, God, I really
don't hate the Eagles.
Oh, I hate the Eagles.
They've got some good jams.
No, they don't.
You're just getting older and you're, it's like harder for you.
What you like, life in the Eagles? Isn't it? I don't know. That sounds not good. No. They got some smooth jams that I'm already.
Name one.
If it's Hotel California, I'm leaving.
I'm pretty sure if I tried right now,
I would just name a Steely Dan.
Everybody likes Steely Dan.
I think they're the same band.
They are not.
What is everyone mad about?
their mid to late 40s? A real mad right now. So we see this hotel that is a real hotel not where it's being filmed. It looks so crappy like they just held a
photograph at the edge of a cliff. It looks like a postcard that's been cut
out, yeah. And this is where we see Andre Toulon, who's definitely French
in this movie, right? Yeah. Okay, not German. Okay, we'll get back to that in part two. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to to to to tel tel th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the definitely French in this movie, right? Yeah. Okay. Not German. Okay.
We'll get back to that in part two. Yeah. And we got to talk about the time discrepancy
too because it's fucking infuriating. I cannot wait to talk about too. Time, height, wait.
Everything is wrong. Everything is wrong. They just, okay. Okay. Okay. Wait Shredder Khan was one of the puppets? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Wait, Shredder Khan was one of the puppets?
Yeah.
Oh, I think I said no, and you just nodded at me.
That was a knowing nod.
Yeah.
So this movie, the featured puppets are Blade.
I like Blade.
He's legit creepy.
He looks like beetle juice.
Yeah, he does. Yeah. Hold on to Beetle Juice and you're a thoderator for later.
I'm always holding on to Beetle Juice.
Off topic.
I said Gina Davis speak at a conference last week.
She's fantastic.
What?
Yeah.
I'm so jealous.
I was, I was like, I was. Very funny. I liked her a lot.
Did she shoot an arrow in anything? No. I'm a little let down. Yeah, she didn't finish it
with like, oh by the way. Just shooting another financial advisor in the head.
Taking an apple off that financial advisor's head. Yeah, that'd be cool. So we've got Blade who we both enjoyed. Jester, who I think is my favorite. the beef. the beef. the beef. the beef. the beef. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi's, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. think is my favorite. Here's the beef I have with Jester. His head, his face pieces turn around,
but there are no other pieces.
It's just, I mean, how does it change?
But how?
Magic.
Okay.
Pinhead.
Pinhead has some just deficiencies, I would say.
Yeah, but there's also like a raw creep factor to a doll with human hands. Yeah, that's weird.
It's weird.
It's like, um, the Swedish chef, but like, way less charming.
Yeah.
Be only a mupett to have you in hands.
Tunneler.
Is that the drill head? Yeah.
Okay.
He's fine.
How is he notthink they were brothers. Shredder Khan. What is that? I have no idea. Who was the, I don't remember there being another shredder.
And then there's Gingy, who I think is the like mustache
guy that we see in the beginning, who's like looking out the window and turning to Toulon,
and like, yo, the Nazis are here? Is Genggigigigigigigigigigigigi shg, short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short? Is gg. Is gg. Is gi? Is gi? Is gi? Is gi? th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? to? to? th. thi? thi? to? to? to? to? to? th. th. th. th. the?. the?. the?. the the? Is. the? Is. the? Is. the? Is. the? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is th. th. th. th. thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the th. th. th. A hundred percent. Okay. And then everyone's favorite, Leech woman.
Why, though, why did she do that?
What the leach is doing the rest of the time?
Yeah.
And why is that her thing?
I don't know, she's the only one with the stretchy mouth.
It's true. It's very turd-like.
So he's painting them, but he's not painting anything.
No. It was just holding a brush and rubbing it on their faces. I don't know. Also was I supposed to know those guys were
Nazis? No, until you heard them speak. I thought they were gangsters. Until you heard them speak just because they were German? Yeah.
1939, German.
They must have been a Nazi, like, you know, a lot of people weren't.
This production is not going to give you any like slight of hand.
They're not going to be.
No subtlety.
That's the word I was looking for.
Everything is just going to be. They're Nazis. That's fair. I should have I should have guessed. There's really no
reason to but it's great that you're just like German Nazi go go go go go go go
also I have to admit I was drunk when I watched this oh sweet I watched this on
Valentine's Day. That's beautiful. Yeah I just drank a bunch of champagne
and then got I was like well I watch Papa Master I'm sorry. Did you watch them back to back on Valentine's Day? No okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th to thy thy thy thy thy thy thi thi thi they're thi they're they're they're they they they they they they they they back to back on Valentine's Day? No.
Okay.
No.
Look, I can only like stomach so much.
Did you watch the second one first?
So we see a puppet running and the puppets are animated.
They're fully animated, just out of the gate.
Love them though.
I love that animation.
I think they all look great.
I try to find who designed them and I couldn't find anywhere online that they're great looking. I love them like so Toulon hides the puppets away
in a trunk in a hidden panel yeah in his workshop in a hotel. There's a lot
going on here and then one of the puppet gets hit and then bird song plays did you like that like he was dazed?
He was like, And it's already like, comedic.
Like, seeing Blade run around like he runs and like gets on an elevator and you're just
take the elevator ride with him while he's waiting.
And nobody notices even though he's, like, I don't know, 24 inches tall?
At least.
And we also see that Toulone, Toulon, too long, Uncle Lewis has ancient papyrus from Egypt.
He's, which he's just handling like it's a ream of your standard white from Office Depot.
It is not delicate. It is not fragile.
Just shuffling it and, yeah. You can't trust Uncle Louis with Provirus.
And then he shoots himself in the head when the Nazis show opened his door.
Oh, yes he does.
I was into it.
I liked it.
Right out of the gates, it's just like this movie's going to be wild.
Yeah, it was wild.
Then we're at Yale.
Then we're at Yale, which I have no recollection of writing, Yale never heard of it. Did I think that was a funny joke at the time?
I was like, I'm gonna work that in.
I just have the note, now we're in a city.
I have no idea where we were.
We're in Yale Town.
Yeah, yeah.
Is the Barbara Crampton scene before that?
I don't know. I think we meet we the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th, I th, I th, I th, I think we think we think we think we think we think we meet think we meet think we meet think we think we thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm the. the. the. the. I'm tho tho tho tho to toge. I'm tho the. I'm that's, that that's, I'm the. tho ththe psychic first, the Southern psychic, who we had a friend of the podcast,
Eric wrote in and said that he found her accent to be offensive.
Really?
Really?
I guess he's probably not going to like my Southern lawyer from earlier either.
I don't recall I do it again.
Oh, Katie.
That's your Southern lawyer.
Well, I'm just a Southern lawyer. I'm not real big city loyal.
SMDH.
Well, that's the equivalent of this woman's accent.
Yeah.
She's like, oh, I'm playing southern.
Let me see what I can do here.
Oh, I'm a sock now.
Her name is Irene Miracle.
That's really?
Yes it is. I like the thing because Barbara Campton's like, is my boyfriend here ever going to get a
real job?
It's like, not that fucking haircut.
Like, that guy was a bazzo.
Yeah, it was in 1989.
It was in 1989.
He was a thir, regur.
Buzzo.
I would have killed her haircut like that then.
Really?
I had it was a flat top in 1989.
Much better, I feel.
Why, because I look like a chubby Bart Simpson.
Yes.
Precisely.
The scene with Barbara Cramden, I can't figure out why it's in the movie
other than to the woman having the premonition of her own death.
Does she? Yeah, she sees herself like crawling down the hallway and blade chasing after her. Weird. Again, this is the padding that I'm talking about. So she has premonitions too. Yeah.
Uh-huh. Oh, I thought just Barrel Waltrip did. Well, he has dream premonitions. Oh, right,
he has dream premonitions, but she can see the future. That's right. She tells the housekeeper to stay away from the fireplace and stuff, yeah. And so they're four psychics.
Barrel Wall Trip has dream premonitions,
which are just away for the movie
to use footage from later earlier in the movie
for like 10 or 15 minutes.
Big fan of that.
So much padding.
It's like basically spoilers for later.
Like, what's the exact same.
Like, they're dream sequences that are just the shots from later. It was driving me insane. It just happens later.
So he could dream things.
The one, the Southern woman is a psychic.
And then there's Dr. Ponytail who is just a dickhead.
He's a sex dickhead.
Right. He's a sex psychic.
He's like an S&M, BDSM psychic. I mean, what is he really? I don't know I don't even know if I know
that like the lady his the Narburnampton character yeah she like it touches
things and gets psychic feeling from them apparently because she was laying
on a bed and saying oh Clark Gable and Betty Grable or Carol Lombard had sex on
here to which Missy went that bed is old as shit then.
Yeah, right? And also like, what a fucking lame psychic power to have.
We're like, oh, Alan touched this soda can.
Like, I don't know.
But she's like laying on the bed and writhing and grabbing her bosom.
Yeah. She has a really big nipples.
I can honestly say I did not notice.
I'm a little ashamed.
Well, it's just because I thought,
those don't look like Barbara Cramden's boobs.
They did not look like Barbara Cramden's boobs.
You know why? They weren't.
No. Someone else's poops. We see them at a like, I don't know, academic study they're
doing where they're trying to get a woman, trying to like listen to a woman's fantasy.
Yeah. It's real dumb. Where the guys like, you can't see what she's imagining? Oh, she's
naughty. Something with a horse too. I was like, what is your fucking problem, you're crazy psycho lady? This movie does it a couple they's like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, they they they they they they they, like, like, like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, like, they, they, like, they like, they like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, like, like, like, like, they're just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're just like, like, like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like,. I was like, what is your fucking problem, you crazy psycho lady?
This movie does it a couple times where they're just like, they just go too far.
There's the scene in the elevator of like the sexual assault that is just like...
That isn't, that is, what is happening?
It's incongruous with the rest of the film, does not need to be here. It was just an excuse to show boobs and a grosso. Yeah.
Yeah, why do they show that?
I don't know.
Anyway.
As a friend of the podcast, Greg posted, he really likes this movie, except for that scene.
It does not need to be.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
Wait, who is doing the sexual assaulting?
It's the-
It's the Gallagher? It's the yeah the Neal or whatever the main bad. Yeah
Yeah, who is I also indescribable why he exists like the whole thing the whole
thing I mean this movie wraps up and I was like wait a minute
Oh it wrapped up for you did you get a different version? No no
I got the directors cut where they had five minutes explain it
Okay so they get to the hotel. Yeah. Because Neil asked them? No, no, no,
Neil didn't ask them to come. His wife did. Or no, no, they all just vibed that he was dead.
They vibed that he is dead. So they wanted to get, because they knew that he was looking for Toulon's business. That I didn't know.
Yeah, they like, they like had a psychic, they all have a psychic connection.
No, that I did, but I didn't know that he was looking for the puppet stuff.
Yeah.
Because it seemed very disconnected from the puppet stuff.
Oh yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
But, I guess the papyrus has had some sort of like eternal life aspect to them that they were all searching for. That's dumb, why would you want to live forever?
I don't know.
I can't wait to die.
Put your headphones back on, sit down.
Oh no.
So they meet, they meet Megan, who is Neil's wife, and's like my husband's dead.
Alex is immediately like, oh hey what?
He's like, you know what?
That gives me a boner.
He definitely says that with his eyes, if not with his mouth.
Yeah, he just bonarizes her.
And she has an amazing shoulder pad sweater on.
Oh yeah. And she has, there's a weird housekeeper and I like everything about her. The housekeeper? She's fan... Megan. Oh Megan. Yeah. I was a
big fan of the like lispy shitty housekeeper lady. She was pretty shitty.
So Megan is like, we are meant led to believe that she really loved Neil. Yeah. But she does not give a shit that he's dead. She's not bummed at all. And she just has his body laid out in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no loved Neil. Yeah. But she does not give a shit that he's dead. She's not bummed at all. And she just has this body laid out in the hotel.
That I didn't understand at all. I know I'm for the life of me like where they're
eating to. Like it wasn't in the same room they have the tiny, they're just there with the body. Yeah.
Who embalmed him?
I don't know.
I do have the note, Pony Boy is like a shitty Corbyn-Burnsen, which will come back later
in the next episode.
Oh, good.
I look forward to it.
Did you notice that the inside of his casket lid had the last supper on it?
No. It was printed on the inside the inside the inside inside inside the inside the inside the inside inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the inside the the the the the the the the the the the the the the inside of his casket lid had the last supper on it? No. It was printed on the inside of the casket lid.
And I thought, what would you want to be printed on the inside of your casket?
Oh.
I want that hang in there?
You know, hang in there?
You know, hang in there?
Hang in there?
Hang in there?
Hang in there.
H. eternity. Oh, for sure, because you just want to hang in there. You have to hang in there. Remember when I said I can't wait to die?
It's not true, I have to hang in there.
You have to hang in there.
I have no idea.
Well, think it through.
We'll let you know what Alan comes up with in the next episode can kiss my ass, huh? You have that t-shirt too? I think my dad had that.
Let's see, there's body built by beer.
Hooked on phonics works for me.
All's misspelled.
My dad liked that one a lot.
My favorite shirt that I stole from my dad when I was a good because I really liked how dumb it was was after the Operation Desert Storm.
He bought a t-shirt that was Uncle Sam choking Saddam Hussein.
Love that.
With a clock behind them and it said it's only a matter of time, Saddam.
Wow, where did he even get that in the world where the internet doesn't
exist?
I assume from a guy on the street. Yeah, that's a street corner outside a baseball game purchase.
I just love them, like, they were like, all right, he's going to say it's only a matter of time.
We better put a clock in there.
I mean, if you're going to say time, you'd better have the clock.
So, they all stand around and stare at the dead.
So, they all stand around and stare, their to make sure he's dead, and they decide he's dead.
A hat pan through his heart.
Weird that none of these psychics get into it
that he's not dead.
The southern psych is like, I'm just going to stab him
with his hat pan through his heart.
Everyone's like, mm-hmm.
Steelea, thu'n'noy. And then she gets drunk. Old, old drunky day now.
Yeah, yeah, she's great.
And she has a dog with her.
Yeah, her stuffed dog.
Laroi.
To which also fed a podcast, Eric wrote to us
to say that he looked up the TSA requirements for carrying a stuffed animal with you.
And it doesn't get expensive until they start having antlers.
Really? Do you have to pay for Adler's? I guess so, because someone has to handle that, you know? That makes sense. That can be weaponized. Yeah, oh yeah. But not just like a Shih Tzu or whatever
that took is. You can just take that. Leroy. I can't believe you looked that up. Like, did you
ever get those weird things that like just stick in your craw and you're gonna like, I gotta know. I th th th th th th th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like they they they they they they they they they they they they they're like they're like they're like they they're like, they they're like, they they're like, th. Did th. Did they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You're like, like, to to th. You're to th. You're to to to th. You're to th. You're to to thi. era? I gotta go look that up real quick. Yeah.
So they're all at dinner and drunk ladies being super rude to this recent widow about what
an asshole her ex-husband was, or her late husband I should say.
Right.
And she says, he screwed us, and we mean to even the score.
Do I make myself clear? And at that point I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, too, too, too, too, is too. too. tooome. tooome. too. tooome. too. too. too, is too, is don't. I do not know what anyone is talking about.
And she probably can't hear her,
Beggin probably can't hear Southerlady over Alex going,
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know why she's doing this.
Just, I'm so, I'm so.
It's just by boner.
And then there's just obscene. I'm not gonna eat shrimp again for a while.
I tell them that's so distressing.
Yeah, it just hangs out for a while too.
Like the camera's just like,
I think it's supposed to make him look gross.
Like, yeah, you're supposed to find him yucky.
And he is a yucky.
He's got that total Coke bony tale. It's a rough, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. that's just just just just just thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiii. toooooooooooooooooooooooooo rough scene. Yeah. Yeah. So then, this is when they go upstairs?
I think so, yeah.
And this is where Frank and Carissa,
who are the two scientific study psychics.
The sexy ones?
They start having sex.
I mean, I want to put huge quotes around it because it's, it's gross, it's weird.
It's, I don't, it's like so, yeah, so why are they doing and the driller guy runs into the room he
Frank is blindfolded and tied up never let anyone tie you up never let anyone tie
you up not in a strange place ever no anywhere ever ever ever what if they have a
heart attack and you starve to death, you know? I mean, it's practical.
You're being very practical right now.
But you know, people are into what they're into.
And someone's into Frank.
I think it's just science.
Yeah.
They're just doing sex experiments.
Part of their work?
The driller head guy runs into the room, tunneler. And the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the lady the room tunneler and
The lady gets off a digger. I don't know. Okay
And the lady gets off Frank and looks onto the bed and he drills into her face. Yeah. And Frank can't see any of this but he's like hey, what are you doing? What's going on? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Someone's licking my nipple. Yeah. Oh yeah.
It's the leech woman who's licking his nipple.
And then she barfs a poop.
How?
Did he not notice that they were now really tiny tongue licks in a really tiny mouth?
Uh-huh.
And he says, oh, undisclosed sexual aids.
Ew, what?
Because she starts putting leeches on him and he's like, oh, these, uh...
Leaches.
And the whole time they're having sex, everybody else in the hotel can hear them because they're all in like a cluster of rooms together.
And then he starts screaming and they're like, oh God, these two.
Fucking this guy, yeah. And so then, he then, he then, he th th th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he starts screaming and they're like, oh god, these two. Fucking this guy, yeah.
And so then he die?
He die. Yes.
He also says, you know I have no sense of humor about the leeches, which I like that.
Don't put leeches off me.
Yeah.
He's a terrible psychic, too.
You know, I feel like if...
This people are supposed to be legitimately psychics. He does not know that that's a puppet
with leeches in her mouth. He also doesn't know that everyone's got to be laughing at him
for that ponytail. Oh my god, I know. We did miss one thing though, which is we see Pinhead attack the woman by the fireplace poker. Oh, which I tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho-in tho-in tho-in' tho-a tho-a tho-a-a-a-a-a-o-s thi-s thi-s tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-si-s'-s'-p-s'-p-s'-p-s-p-s-p-p-s-s-a-s th-s th-s the fireplace, attack the maid. And he kills her with a fireplace poker,
which I thought was strange because it's like,
how much force can pinhead really generate?
Look at those arms! Look those guns.
Not much force. You're right.
No, April.
And then we also see before that
that someone has propped up Neal's body,
so he's sitting in a chair,
which Rob reminded me that I want to have done to meet my funeral.
I want to pop up next to my cousin Vicky with my arm around her, because I will laugh last.
You know that's a think, right, where people do it at funer? No. They put the dead person just like in a chair and everyone comes up and pays their respects? That's fine. I want the lights to come go off, like, oh no, there's. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Because, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll th th th th thr. thr. I'll thi. I'll th th thr. I'll th thi. I'll th th to to power outage oh no when they come back on I've just got my arm around her possibly with like my mouth open I'm going ah
I will laugh last
so that's why I have the note this is what I want next to Vicky
so then Alex falls asleep and has the 10 minute dream of going
upstairs and seeing Neil and Megan dancing she keeps looking into that mask face yeah no we're not looking at the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the the th. I the the th. I th. I th. I the the the. I the the. I the. I the. I'm the the. I'm the th. I'm the. I'm they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I that. I that. I that. I that that that that that to that to to to to to to to to the to the the thou to the the the the the thou the their their their their minute dream of going upstairs and seeing Neil and Megan dancing.
She keeps looking into that mask face.
Yeah.
No, don't look at it.
Don't look at it.
Don't look at it.
Why would you look at it?
I don't know.
She's like gazing lovingly at that mask.
It's stupid.
I forgot the, before they have sex they say he says Frank since into a tape recorder
The six sexual experiment five one seven four a and then he's like make sure to scrub these from the notes later you
Why you're writing it down then like why even record it and Alex has gotten a candle from Southern Psychic Lady. Yeah.
And so I have the note, I couldn't figure out what my note
Alex likes a man candle was.
And then I was like, oh yeah, he has a candle shaped like a man.
Oh really?
That's funny.
Did you notice that all the art in his room
look like it was from a trapper keeper?
I did. It was just like triangthought that art was great?
Dana makes it farther, Dana being Southern Psychic, Irene Miracle, makes it much further
than I feel like she should.
Well, because Pinhead's chasing her down, and then Blades chasing her down.
Yeah.
And then Pinhead strangles her?
I don't know.
And then Blade cuts her throat.
Okay, it's like a tag team, because she dies in the elevator. Okay, if you say so.
She does, yeah, so now three of the psychics are dead,
plus the housekeeper lady.
So it's just Megan and Alex.
And then we have again the scene where Megan comes and wakes Alex up.
This was his dream and she takes him upstairs.
Here's where it gets weird though, it's because, well, yeah.
They're like saying something like, well, it's tied to the old puppet master's death.
And I was like, wait, these people know about the puppet master's death?
Like, I didn't know that they knew.
Yeah, they'd stated earlier that's why they were there for a two-lon secret. I don't think they said they th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I they're like they're like they're like, I they're like, I they're like, I they're like, I they're like, I they're like, I they're like they're like, I they're like, I they're like, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I ti. ti. ti. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. theeeee. thi. thi. ththat. Okay, okay.
It's possible that my brain is just filled in the gaps in this movie. It might be like one of those things where you look at the picture of a man and like his
arm isn't drawn but your brain fills it in, you know what I mean?
Sure, sure.
So they go up to the attic.
Neal and making dance?
This is not a dream though. This is really happening after we saw the dream earlier, right?
No, this is the dream within a dream.
Oh, the dream within a dream, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then he wakes up.
And then she tells him that she's found Toulon's diary.
But he, are the heads a dream. Okay. That got drunk rob. He was like, ah, God.
I liked it because they were all happy and like, why not?
They were just, hey, hey, hey, good morning.
When Neil and, I'm sorry, when Alex and Megan go up to the attic,
we watch them climb the attic stairs in real time,
and it's infuriating.
It takes them forever.
It's almost as infuriating as the scene where
Blade who has a hook for hand.
I don't know why he's not called hook.
Good question.
Probably some copyright issues on that.
He drags a chair across the floor, like five feet,
and we watch him drag the chair across the entire floor.
He struggles with it.
I know. It's because he's a puppet. I feel like that
should be the tagline of this movie. Puppet Master. It's because he's a puppet.
They go upstairs. Neil is alive. He explains some, I have the note, he explains his bullshit
about eternal life. He just goes on this like rant that's like what, I don't, I hate that I'm watching this right now. Totally zoned out on it. He. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I feel. I feel. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've like, I feel like, I've like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel goes on this like rant that's like what I don't I hate that I'm watching this right now. Totally zoned out on it. But he
like starts beating on Alex or he hits Megan? He did not learn how to throw a
punch in acting class because that man is not throwing a convincing punch at
all. He punches like 18 times none of them look good. They all just look like, the thu. But it goes to to to to to th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol-I thi. thiol-I thi. thi. th ow. But it goes to Jester, who's the most emotive of all the puppets.
It makes me mad because it doesn't make any sense.
And he's bummed.
Yeah, oh yeah.
He's like, why is this happening?
Yeah, but why?
Why does he get bummed?
What is the puppets motivation for anything?
I don't know?
And then the the the their their their their their their their their their their their th is th is th is th is th is th is then Neil gets mad at the puppets because they're mad at him for being a dick.
And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we'll kill people, but you're just being a dick now.
Yeah, like we will kill people who are just staying in this hotel for no reason.
But we're not dicks.
But we're not dicks.
Also, like everyone keeps throwing pinhead, so he's clearly just irate. Do you notice how many times Pinhead got thrown between these two movies?
He's the most tossable.
Yeah, he really is.
So then the buffets turn on Neil.
Yeah, fine.
And he gets, he pulls, Neil pulls off Pinhead's head.
Driller, drills into his leg, he falls down, Blade chops off his finger, which he then bleeds phantasm blood out of his fingers?
Yeah, yeah, I like that, I guess.
He's because he's an undead, right?
Yes.
And then, Blade holds Niel's mouth over with a hook while leech lady
starts putting leeches into his mouth.
Like dicks, they look like a dick in his mouth.
Or poopies. I mean, I I I I look very similar to me. And then Drilla drills
through his neck and Alex and Megan are like, well I guess we're because we're just gonna
go. Yeah, see, but I know I own this property and everything but bye.
And then they do some stuff. They just like hug and he leaves.
Yeah, no secrets between us.
Gotta go.
And she's like, yeah, totally.
He's like, look me up if you're ever on the East Ghost.
Like a very strange way to end this relationship.
And then she's got Leroy the stuffed dog. Yeah.
From the southern lady. And she's walking up the steps with it and then the dog is alive. Because she's the new puppet master. What? See my last note says oh I get it so I must have gotten it
at the time. I think I thought I think I thought I think I thought that I thou-toub that
the puppet master was originally Uncle Lewis,
and then somehow it got passed on to Neal
as like the only surviving person of something, I don't know,
and then somehow it got passed to Megan
and now she's the puppet master.
But was she the puppet master the whole time?
Because the hotel was in her family?
No. Say that like you're convinced of it. No. Is that like you're convinced of it? No.
Is that better? Uh, no.
She never even knew Leroy though. Like, is that dog going to obey her?
I don't think she knew anybody. I'm not convinced. There's the whole discussion about like how her and Neil got together.
And she's like, well, I was going through a rough time and he showed up at the hotel and he's like,
I'm gonna help you run it.
And I was like, okay, yeah,
and then we started making out,
and then we got married.
Oh, because my parents died and he helped me through it,
but then I guess, is that explained in the second movie? No, forget it. Oh, fuck no.
So, okay, so this is a setup for the sequel. Megan is the puppet master. Oh yeah, that's exactly
what's gonna happen in the second movie too. We'll talk about that when that happens. Yeah, when next week. Do you want to, do you want to rate this bad boy? Oh, yeah. Do you want to, uh, you want to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the. theat. theat sea. sea. sea. sea. seea. seea. seea. seea. theat theat theat the th. This movie is really enjoyable and super stupid.
You soup stoop.
You could definitely cut, oh I don't know, 45 minutes out of it without a problem.
There's barely any puppets in it.
But the puppets that are there are cool.
They're great. They're the highlight of this movie.
And Barbara Crampton.
So I would give this movie. Yeah. And Barbara Grampton. So I would give this movie a five, but like a good
five. Like a... It's not how these numbers work. Like if you're a hell a high in the middle of the
night and you're in like a horror movie marathon, throw this fucking movie on.
You're either gonna nap or you're gonna enjoy the ridiculousness. Katie. This hits a chord with me like Child's Play 2 hits.
I like it a lot.
Six and a half, I don't like it that much.
I feel like we both like hyped it up and then didn't get it.
I mean, there's nothing like inventive about it. It's clearly of an era. It's just is. It's just
is. It's in a genre that has like so little room to grow. The toy horror genre.
It's true. And like Chuckie already is like dominating the market, you know at this point. We need to do dolls at some point because I've never seen that and Sarah, friend of the podcast is a huge fan of that movie. Yeah. It's a, yeah. th, so, so, so, so, so, th, so, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. the. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th of the podcast, is a huge fan of that movie.
Yeah.
It's a, yeah, so we should do that at some point and barely like it was pretty much done
by the same production company like a few years before and they were like, but what if
again?
But what if this time?
So yeah, that's puppet master.
It could have been worse. Oh, hell yeah. It's a lot worse.
It may get worse.
Spoilers for next week.
Kitty, can I get you to do me favor?
I guess so.
Can you open that box that's next to you?
If there's a puppet here, I'm going to be very upset.
You're the puppet master. It's a Cryptocurium. It's a parcel of terror. I'm very, knowing you, I'm very excited for you to see what this is.
Okay, well, should I open, I mean, I'm gonna read it?
We can do this our normal way?
Yeah, yeah, we'll do it our normal way.
All right.
All right.
Ah!
Oh!
Ha we're a very special, special Beetlejuice edition of the Parcel of Terror. It goes without saying that this is one of the most unique and eccentric films ever made
and stands a test of time to this day.
Jason strongly agree.
From Michael Keaton's iconic performance, Pittsburgh's own.
As the ghost with the most, Tim Burton's signature visual styling, Beetlejuice
has been a source of wonder and inspiration for fans of all ages for three decades. Fuck, um, old.
2018, oh, older than made. I would imagine your bones hurt.
2018 marks the 30th anniversary of the release of Beetlejuice,
and I have chosen to mark the occasion
by giving one of my favorite films
the parcel of terror treatment.
It's showtime.
Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice is tombstone wall plaque. There's no mistake who's buried under this headstone, the ghoulish grave marker of Badell Geis, Beetle Goose?
Beetlejuice. Oh my god, how many times have I said it now? He should have been
here by now. Yeah. I wish Michael Keaton would show up.
Nestle in the model cemetery of Winter River Connecticut cast in solid. Comes ready to display with attached metal latch.
It's great.
It's beautiful.
It's big.
I like that.
It's got a nice on your wall.
Yeah, it is.
What's next?
Sandworm of Saturn, poster.
the truly amazing piece of artwork by Crypto-Croaum guest artist Alan Brown depicts
a fearsome sandworm breaching the sandworms, the ands of Saturn printed on high quality poster print stock. That's awesome.
That's gorgeous.
Sandworms scared the piss out of me when I was a child.
Really?
Yeah, because they're scariest piss.
Beetlejuice magnet.
Make my millennium.
The afterlife's leading bio-exercist is here to sleaze around your home for the small price of saying his name three times.
Cast and solid resin and individually hand paintedpainted. These took forever to paint. These are
fucking gorgeous. Holy gos! That looks exactly like Beetlejuice. Looks exactly
like Beetlejuice. Not that Jason doesn't do usually an amazing job but that
one's like, holy smokes. I can see why it would take forever to paint. He got all the green
green slime around his scalp. It smells good.
It smells like chemicals.
Katie.
I'm on it.
I'm on it.
Even that fetal juice.
Oh, handbook for the recently deceased sticker, a recreation and sticker form of the book
that reads like stereo instructions.
I say that about stuff all the time.
Yes, I love it!
Every time we get something from IKEA, I'm like, it just reads like stereo instructions. I say that about stuff all the time. Yes, I love it! Every time we
get something from IKEA, I'm like, it reads like stereo instructions. It doesn't even
mean anything anymore. High quality pearl finish, die cut sticker. I love that. That's really
awesome. That's going to look great on your journal. I have such a problem with stickers
because they're so permanent, you know? Sure. You just can't commit. I'll put on my gurnal. Harry the Hunter pin, this shrunken-headed hunter seemingly doomed to spend eternity on a
waiting room couch, cast in solid resin and individually hand-painted in a metallic purple
finish, comes ready to wear or display with attached metal pinback.
Love it.
That's so cool.
I love that shrunken head guy.
Oh, and enjoy the gummy boogers! Yes! You have to take that one down a
little. Please feel free to share on boxing picks and videos all across
social media using the hashtag's hashtag cryptocurium and hashtag
parcel of terror. Join us next month for hauntings best Jason Mick Kittrick.
So we're not even going to tell you what a parcel of terror is,
because you just heard it.
You just heard how amazing it is.
Do you hear those squeaks?
Squeaks and squeals?
Squeaks and squeals, and now I got candies.
You're gonna hear that candy sound.
How would someone get a parcel of terror?
Well, I would advise that you Go to the parcel of tear.
Sign up, give Jason 35 bucks a month.
Hold on.
These boogers are pretty deaise, Jason.
In perpetuity.
You're gonna get awesome stuff.
This.
I was so excited when this came to the house to give this to you,
because I know how much you enjoy.
Love Beetle Juice. Katie. Yeah. Can I take you on a little adventure?
I guess, yeah.
You want to go to Mailbag?
Yes.
It's a cool but keep eating with candy.
Yeah, you're not going to spit it out, right?
I'm going to put more in there, too.
Pretty good.
This email is part of the back and forth with Dakota who has been talking to us on our email,
where will famulance at Gmail.com, I've been responding to emails finally. I got
back to everybody I think. Sorry I blew that. I kept saying I was going to do it
and then I was like, nah. I'm on it. I'm doing it now, I got it. So the part part that I wanted to read you was I'm the one who reviewed the pod under the name name name name name name name name name name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name. the the the the the the to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the name Gray Pilgrim Ten. Love that name.
Did Dakota explain why that's their username?
That's why I'm gonna hit you with this right now.
Yes.
And Gray Pilgrim is a nod to Lord of the Rings,
Gandolph.
And I'm not sure why I put all the great content. You're on that Lord of the Rings tip?
Yeah, I've got the man's handwriting tatting on my arm.
What does that mean?
Great Pilgrim.
Oh, he was called the Great, he scanned off the Gray,
so it was the Gray Pilgrim.
He had all these like, the thanks.
Everybody called him a to you.
No, thanks.
I think I got them somewhere.
I live with a nerd.
Seven movies.
They were long enough.
Just kidding.
I'm a dick.
I read books.
I know you do.
I know.
I know.
to so. Yeah, I know. You gotta read them first. Yeah. Katie.
Yeah.
We're gonna do puppet master two next week.
I'm not gonna bother asking what we're doing.
I know.
I know.
We're doing puppet master two.
It's on hulu.
Also, I thought is on there if you want it. And maybe, maybe.
Thanks.
Depends on how two go.
Spoiler's not great.
So come back next week for Buppet Master 2.
And then are we doing Puppet Master 3 after that?
Probably.
No.
I don't know.
We'll see how these are. We're not going to become the puppet cast.
There are 13 of them.
It could get us through, you know, a couple months.
No, I'd fucking have to watch them all.
I know, but, you know, we've watched work.
Well, who knows how bad I guess.
So you're going to email it because it's short and sweet and I really enjoy that. The succinctness is what
gets you. I do. And Twitter's best at notifying me when we have a message.
And go to parcel of terror, crypto curiam, sign up for that. Check out what they're doing with the order of the thin veil.
Because that stuff's really cool. They've just like released all of the levels right now and it looks really awesome so go do that.
Cool. And come back next week and hear us talk about full of the master too.
If you dare.
What?
What?
Thanks for listening to another episode of Where Off Ambulance.
Bye. Bye.