Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 176- Strangeland (1998)
Episode Date: May 14, 2018In the second half of our horror-films-by-metal-musicians rock block, this week we're discussing the 1998 Dee Snider movie "Strangeland." Special topics for your consideration include: a visit to the ...basement of Rotten Tomatoes, the life and times of Dee Snider/Twisted Sister, a time when piercings and tattoos were controversial, bad police work, dialup internet and amazing catchphrases. Do you like movies about the horrors of technology? Check out a few of our other episodes: Episode 48- "Unfriended," Episode 134- "#Horror" and Episode 98- "The Ring" (VHS is technology too!) Have you seen this one? Did you like it? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alan.
Katie.
Do you want to play a game?
You know I do.
Okay.
This is a game I came up with today.
Are you ready?
I am.
It's called.
the game.
took.
It's called Rotten Tomatoes, the basement.
Let's do this.
Okay, so here's how the game basement. Let's do that.
Okay, so here's how the game works.
I went back through all our old episodes
and picked out some of the worst movies we've done.
Okay.
And then I went on Rotten Tomatoes and got their rating.
And then I want you to guess whether this week's movie,
Strangland.
D-Snate-Nangeland has a score, a rotten tomato score that is higher or lower
than the movie I'm going to name. Can I ask for a point of clarification? Yeah dude.
Is this reviewers or audience? It's the one that comes up when you click on it.
Okay, reviewers go. I think it's aggregated, isn't it? No, they do like one is the... Oh my god, why are you picking my game apart? the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to the to to the to the the the thee. the the. th sure. Why are you settlers of Catanning this shit?
It's the one that comes up right under the name of the movie.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Fine.
Fine.
You know what?
I don't want to play?
All right.
Leparcon in the hood?
the leopard.
the threat.
the happening is a 33. Okay. The happening. Ooh.
The happening's definitely way above.
The happening has an 18.
You're right, it is above.
Wickerman remake with Nicholas Cage.
Ooh, tied.
No, it is higher with a 15.
13 ghosts.
Ooh. Uh, higher? Higher with a 14. I think I feel like we're narrowing down where
Strange Land is. Cube. Oh, much higher. That's going to be in the 70s, right? Cuba is 62. I was stunned.
I feel like I saw a different cubed. I know. I think because you said cubed. Pay the Ghost also starring
Nicholas Cage. Oh that's got to be higher. It is higher. Wait, wait. Is Strangeland higher
or lower? Strangeland is lower. Strangeland is lower. Yeah. The ghost has a ten. We are honing
in on Strangland, aren't we? Darkness falls. That's the Oh, I... Oh, I'm just reminding you.
I thought that movie.
Why wasn't she made of teeth?
God, why wasn't she?
Darkness Falls is lower.
Darkness Falls is higher.
With what?
Nine.
Okay, one more.
one.
One of my favorite movies we've done on this podcast, if you recall how joyful it made me,
I Know Who Killed Me, Starring Loehan.
Sure, it's a goddamn cinematic gem.
Is Strangeland higher or lower?
It's lower because I know who killed me has a seven.
Strange land with 6% on Rotten Tomatoes is officially the worst fucking movie we've ever done
A generous six percent six percent six percent six Six, six, what about ginger dead man?
You could count that on one hand.
Ginger dead man has.
You can't count six on one hand.
It lead the hand.
Ginger dead man I looked up, it was like 74 percent.
I didn't even include it in my list.
It's like men's like men's rights.. then, that's like, then, then, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, them, them, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, thage, six, th. Six, th. Six, th. Six, th. Six, th. Six, th, th, th, th. Six, I th. Six, I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, six, six, six, six, six, thi, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six activists went on there. Yes. They were like, this movie's fucking great.
You guys are dumbest.
Mmm.
Six.
Six.
Six.
Welcome to Where the Earth Ambulance.
I'm Katie.
I'm Alan.
This is D. Snider's Strangeland.
The 1998.
This movie scared you when you were a kid. It did, what was I thinking? You know what? I think it's that catheter scene.
Why is there a catheter scene?
It's just cut to catheter, cut away.
Did you, like I did, lose your mind
when you realized that was Linda Cartelidane in the movie?
I did.
You know why I didn't recognize her?
Because she gets no fucking scenes? You know it's her face that starts the movie out and I was like is it is that a baby? Is that a Lindsay weird?
Is that the woman from whatever the Netflix show was about family?
Oh with coach.
Bloodline?
Bloodline.
I liked the first season.
Me too.
Me too.
the third season I didn't even finish.
Why is this in his head?
Is it? I don't know.
.......................................................................................... the. th............. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.......................................................................................................................................................................? I don't know. I watched the first episode of season two.
I was like, nah, I'm good.
Yeah, because they bring in the kid.
Never bring in the kid.
Guys, if you're writing something, just don't bring in the kid.
No, no, don't.
This movie doesn't.
This movie. It does everything else wrong though, so let's get into it. I do want to ask you a question. How you feel about Twisted Sister?
Oh, like them.
Yeah.
You know why?
Yeah.
From just for that scene in Peewee's Big Adventure where they're doing, you're gonna
burn in hell.
You're gonna burn, and hell.
You know, you know, the words.
Do you know that Twister?
I love them.
Yeah, I mean, they're totally no-brainer, like heavy metal.
Their early stuff is a little bit more ripping.
They're good.
Yeah, it's a good time.
And D. Snader seems like a good enough guy. Yeah, if you get a chance, do some research on a research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, to research, their, to research, to research, to to their, their, their, to their, their, their, their, their, to their, to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to be, to be, too, tooom., tooomorrow, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, no. to their, no. their, the PMRC and handing them their ass. It was amazing. Parents Music Resource Center,
they're the reason they have the explicit thing on CDs.
Tapes back in the day.
What do they have now?
They put it on MP3's?
Yeah, they do.
They're tagged.
Oh yeah, I guess explicit, like all of our podcasts on iTunes.
Except for the th dirty 16 or whatever songs.
Like Little Nicky by Prince was on there.
It was like, it was songs about sex and they're like,
oh, I don't like it sex and Satan are bad.
Yeah.
And he just went in there and like, totally laid it down.
It's amazing.
Nice. Yeah, he's not, he's not a dummy. No. And he, he might be fooled.
He also has, I know he asked Paul Ryan not to use,
we're not gonna take it in his campaign anymore.
And also like some pro-life group was using that song too.
And he was like, ah, nah, nah.
That's awesome. Yeah.
Also, Freddy Kruger in this film. Also Amy Smart in this film. Who is Amy Smart?
She was the blonde niece who knew how to use the internet. But why do I know her nowadays? She was
also in Varsity Blues. But why do I know it? I do like the crank movies? Do you? I like the second one? I think she was in those. She's just been in stuff. She's a good actress. She's in the butterfly effect with Ash-a. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I. the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the in those. She's just been in stuff. OK. She's a good actress. She's in the butterfly effect with Ashton Kutcher, I think.
Which I don't know why we haven't done that movie.
It is bad.
It's a horror movie?
I feel like we should do that in the Richard Gere
in the the the Richard Gere.
I like that because it's filmed. the campus of the University of Pittsburgh. Mothman is okay till Mothman calls Richard Gere on the phone.
Hey, Richard Gere.
He's like, I heard you put a true, then you phone, blah, blah, blah.
Why is he underwater?
I don't know.
Because he made that bridge fall down.
Oh yeah. Yeah, I've been into that town. the t time I thought he died in a hang gliding accident. It was a regular
ass plane. Why did I think that? I don't know. I have spoilers for John Denver.
Oh man. So this movie opens on like chat rooms. Do you get into chat rooms?
No. You were just not the right age for it.
Yeah, I didn't get into the internet until like 2000,
like, oh this was 98.
But I didn't get into like, I got like an email address in 98.
Yeah. I think that's when I got my ex-alarkey X.
Excuse me what?
Ex alarkey. Excuse me what? Ex-Alarkey X. I put my own name into the word anarchy.
Oh my god, you should start a system of government or lack thereof.
But it would be straight edge because I've had an ex-one either side of it.
I don't know about that part of the next movie.
We're gonna get drunk. We're gonna drink.
We're gonna drink twisted and I see. Oh, we do. I can run. I can't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Dairy. We'll get drunk printer at the next movie.
All right, well probably not. Not tonight. Not tonight. Not tonight. It's all one, all in one.
Could finish off this bottle of aqua veet. Oh, what is that? I think you've tasted
it before. What is this? Aquaite? What is it though? It's a alcohol. Li. their thi. It's th. It's alcohol. It's alcohol. It's to to. It's alcohol. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's like. It's like. It's a. It's all. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's all. It's all. It's all.to that. Did you like how Lindsay, or Linda Cardellini's look was like very now?
She had like a choker and a flannel shirt and I was like, you, in 2018.
But she, to take it back, she had those, her bangs were like, greasy and hung in front
her face.
The tendrils were a thing.
So she's telling our friend who's, thi, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, was like, was like, thin, she's, was like, was, was, was, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was like, was a thin, was a thin, was a thin, like, like, like, thin, thin, thing. So she's telling our friend who's like I can't believe you're going to meet someone online and she was like in the future we'll all be meeting and marrying
online. Yep, she was right. 100% right about that. Way to go, D. Snyder, Proposy 1, fulfilled.
Yeah. That's about where this movie ends in terms of realism or acceptability, would you say?
Yeah, because the website that they were on was amazing.
What was the website?
I don't remember, but it was just like,
it just had the word welcome over curtains.
Oh, yeah, no, that was like their windows.
That was like the home screen of the computer.
Oh, it was? I thought it was.
Oh, I thought it was the computer. I love the scene where, so the, the, Cartelini goes missing.
Quickly, moments into this movie, she and her friend Tiana.
And then Mike comes in, we get Mike and I, I'm slumming it, Elizabeth Pena.
I don't know why she is.
She seemed too good for this. I don't know what I knew her from though. She's, she was in like, like, she's a decent actress. And I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. the, the, the, th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. C. th. th. for this. I don't know what I knew her from though. She was in like TV back in the 80s and 90s.
She's like really, she's a decent actress and I was just like, what are you doing here, lady?
What's going on?
Yeah.
What about that shitty Amelia Estabelle's partner of his?
I love that guy.
Did you?
You talk about Christian?
Detective. every opportunity he gets. So Mike is Detective Mike Gage.
Kevin Gage is the actor.
You think they did that so he wouldn't forget?
Gage. Now this is me?
I'm here.
But every time they talk about a piercing, they were like eight Gage
and he was like here and they're like, no, Kevin, sit down.
Go back to craft services, Kevin.
This face partner, Steve Christian. No, really? Steve Christian. I thought it was like a sister Christian
reference. Well, if Steve's got a sister. Yeah. So, but I love that when Detective
Mike, dad of Linda Cartelanlon he comes in and he's just like, oh this computer's
on and fucking unplugs it. Yeah, he couldn't figure out how he just hits it a couple times
and pulls the plug. Oh, it's fucking ape. I mean, I want to say something about this man. Yeah. His face does not move in this entire movie.
No, no. He doesn't get upset. He doesn't get sad. He doesn't get happy. He's not relieved. He has to get sad and then
get over it at one point. And all he does turn around and close his eyes, no facial expression change. Oh right, and he does blank. He does blink for extended periods.
It's very bad.
It's very bad.
How did you, how much did you enjoy hearing the dial-up sound though?
I loved it.
I love to.
And then you had that moment of like your heart catching, wondering if this time was
going to work.
A lot of the time it didn't. I'm finally going to get that misfit song if I just leave my computer on overnight.
And then you get it and it's really just like a MIDI file of it.
You're like, come on, I waited all night.
I would probably still listen to Middy Skulls when it came up.
So our first look at D. Snyder is he's doing pull-ups in a very menacing manner, right?
Yeah, it wasn't bad.
He wasn't buff.
Yeah, he's like a ropey dude.
He's tall.
He's um, who do we used to describe his ropey?
The guy from pumpkin head?
Oh, Lentendrickson.
Very ropey.
Very ropey, man.
Yeah, I mean, I think one of the appeals of Twisted Sister, like back in the day, is that he was a six-foot whatever like giant dude with like giant blonde hair, basically in drag.
And just being like, I'm the toughest fucking dude in the room right now.
That's true. You know, and they were.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Yeah. Flipping the script. This movie also presupposes that tatoes, tatoes, tatoes, that that tatoes, that tapes, that that that, that, tapes, that that, that, that that, that, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, to, to, to, too, th. th. th. to to th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. the. the. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. Andcings were controversial. I guess they were at this point.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
That was on the dying end of if you had a tattoo,
you may have done time.
Or you were in.
It seems well past that.
I was in high school in 98.
Like, I just feel like that was not the cultural notion anymore, but I could be wrong.
But I think of like people of like as gross as this is of my generation.
Why is that gross?
Because I'm so much older.
But like my parents definitely like, I was like, it was hammered into me.
Like if I get tattoos, nothing below the cuff or above the like collar of a shirt.
If you have to go to court you don't want anything exposed, kind of
shows you what kind of life I grew up in. Not like if you want to get a job, maybe
don't have devil rides on your neck. What's that? Devil rides? I don't know.
It's literally two words that popped into my head. God I hope somebody gets that now. So that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's th. thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. that's that. that's that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to. I'm toooooooooo. I te. I to. I'm. I to. I to. I to. I to. I t. I somebody gets that now. So, but that's what this movie's about. No, I hope nobody gets that.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
I'm covered in stupid tattoos.
I want everyone to be.
Did you ever have a piercing to your ear pierce?
No, never have a piercing.
No, never'll just go to, yeah, Pierce Clare's. You got a real sharp stud earring with you and some ice. Yeah, yeah, I definitely, I look at all these holes in my
ears, I put those in there myself. Of course. And haven't worn earrings in them in like 12 years and they just won't go away. Now I'd so furs have to furcings, no, no piercings, no, note piercings, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I ths, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th thee the tho tho th th th th th th th th th th those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those th those th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the theee thoooooooo thooo thoooooo thooooooo tho tho tho tho tho still see the scar. Yeah, that's a mark that should stay with you. Yeah
Nipples nipples belly button. No, okay. No, that's trashy
I had a bunch in my ears. I had like an industrial with a long bar and then I had the inside which like not this I think this is called a conch. It's like the hard painful part of your ear. So I had like a one that went through these parts th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. N. I th. I th. N. I th. N. N. N. N. N. I th. N. N. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. N. I of your ear. So I had like one that went through these parts
and I'm just pointing at the fans can't see.
So this is a sort of a welcome to my world situation.
Oh yeah, I was like, oh yeah, eight gates.
No, I wasn't.
I was like not like that at all.
I can't wait to get to that.
I feel like we've referenced it in a in a in in in so it's time we talked about it. Linda Cartelini and her friend Tiana are both missing.
Yeah, the mom calls to let her, let them know that she never came home.
Right. Still got that, not worried. Not worried yet, but they're high school kids, you know, high school kids.
And this is a time before cell phones too. So if you got stuck somewhere. Snyder's loincloths and boots look?
Uncomfortable. How do you feel about modern primitive? I don't know what you mean? That's what he described himself as. Oh did he say that? That doesn't make any sense. Is that like tiny houses?
No, it's a people that are into the piercing scene to get back to the way we used to be. Okay, that's what I was trying, but he, but, but, but, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. to get back to the way we used to be.
OK, that's what I was trying.
But he was also trying to die, right?
Well, it's like the ultimate, you know, piercing.
Piercing the veil of death.
Piercing to death.
I mean, he does that like, that hangy thing too?
Is that a suspension?
that ever word? Suspension?
Yeah.
People really do that, don't they?
I know people who do it.
Why?
I don't know.
I mean, it's like this, it's supposed to be very meditative and like.
So's fucking yoga.
Get yourself down there, schoolhouse yoga.
Pay ten bucks and do some downward dog.
I'm sorry, I'm being judgmental.
Everybody should do whatever they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want they want I mean, it's very shocking when you see it for the first time of someone having
hooks in their back and being hung from the seal.
Sure.
Yeah.
I remember there was a movie called A Man Called Horse.
I'm laughing.
Tell me more.
But it was about like a white dude who becomes a triv. And to do the thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a... th. th. th. th. to pierce his chest to become a member of the tribe or to do like some sort of shamanistic
thing they jumping him in they yeah they pierce his chest with eagle claws and
like hang him from that and I saw when I was a kid and I was like wow made my
head explode yeah and now it's like a leisure thing that people do. Just like to relax. Yeah. Are we overworked that we need to
do this to relax? Is this part of the problem America? Not enough vacation time.
We got a couple more vacation days a year we wouldn't have to fucking hang
ourselves from ceilings. You understand me? Corporate America? Yeah, I mean, like you're saying, I don't want to yuck anybody. They can do what they want. Sure. to thin' their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. their. their. anybody's yum, they can do what they want. Sure, sure. Oh my gosh, as long as you're not hurting anybody,
I do not give a shit what you do.
Or hurting yourself, don't hurt yourself either.
Well, I think you're hurting yourself.
But I think it's like a pleasure and pain.
It's very hellraiser. And they kind of, like, he says, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, to, th. I, to, to, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I, th. I, to, th. I, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to to thi. to thi. thi. a turn to you to know your flood, like so much flesh, so little
time I think he says.
I was like, buddy, you're cribbin.
He's Captain Howdy on the internet.
You want to talk about that?
No.
Is that an extra reference, do you think?
It's got to be.
Yeah, 100%. It's got to be. Do you like when they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thi. the. thi tho. tho. tho. the. tho. tho. the. thi. the. the. the you think? It's gotta be. It's gotta be. It's gotta be. Do you like when they shut down Captain Howdy and he becomes Captain Howdy, like 537 or something?
Oh, did they really?
Yeah, I'm trying to find it again.
Captain Howdy, 579.
I don't know if those numbers mean anything, but that's his new username.
He worked at the gene store, 579. Sure, sure, sure, get those Levi's.
He's captured Linda Cartelini and Tiana.
He's sewn their mouth shut.
That scared me when I was a kid.
Sure.
I found that very upsetting.
It's very weird.
It's a weird thing to do.
And then, um.
But why does he do that?
Is that about piercing? I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, thi. thiwa, tho, tho, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea, thea, thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thean. thean. thean. the Is that about piercing? I think everything he does is about piercing.
Not so dumb.
And he pierces that dude's dick.
Why are you laughing at so I didn't write it?
To death.
He pierced his dick to death.
That wouldn't happen.
What he was like, I gotta pierce the spongy-ongy.
Did he say spongy-n-g? Yes, yes, he does.
And the guy's like, oh, oh, I don't know.
It's just kind of like, all right.
A lot of people get that pierced.
You know what I mean?
You'll be fine, dude. It's just your dick.
Yeah.
It's really, like, the thin, in. than, than, th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. theea. thi. thea. thea. course. Yeah. I was in my 20s and had friends who had their dicks pierce.
Of course I've seen people with the dickers.
You know what?
It's like being vegan.
Like they'll tell you, they'll show you.
I remember a friend of mine running up and slapping his dick on my car window so
that that ring a thinnene so that the ring the ring tho yourself. I'm very proud. Does Zibalba? Did that ring a bell with you?
That word?
I think it is the gateway to hell, as they said.
Like I think that's who?
The devil.
Oh, okay.
In the devil's books, the ones written by the devil?
They find out about Zabalva from the tow talk? Just do it. It's your moment. So unbeknownst to us, they get a call,
there's a car in a river.
They just show up and there's like,
there's a car in the river.
I'm like, no one could tell us?
No one.
They bullet out.
It's Tiana ninetious. I like Tiana for the moments that we
knew her. I barely knew you. Yeah. And in the car they find a septum piercing
one of the big like pointy bullhorn. I don't know. Because it fell out of his giant nose.
And he did not rip it out because it gets ripped out later. Yeah. Spoilers for this movie. I remember a band I really liked Dystopia. I still like them. And seeing a the the the the the the the the the the the picture. I the picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture a picture. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely th. I barely th. I barely th. I barely th. I barely th. I barely th. I barely their I barely th. I barely th. I barely their I barely their I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely. I barely. I the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I. Spoilers for this movie. I remember a band I really liked, Dystopia.
I still like them.
And seeing a picture of them and the drummer had one of those.
And he was wearing a ski mask.
Yeah, but I was like, so there was a point where you had to put your nose piercing
outside of your ski mask.
Yeah, so they find this piercing and are like, what is this thing? What could it be? Oh, I have an instant Marguerite, I don't know.
And then my favorite character in the movie rolls up, tattoo guy.
He's got like two, two, three piercings, maybe?
Maybe.
We don't know what's under the jumpsuit.
She can be clear.
Click it and clang it them that big.
Most of them are blogge. And that one's a logage. Yeah. And then they're like, what are you talking about?
He's like tattooing? their body modification, piercing. piercing, branding, branding, welcome to my world. No, just like, ah! And they're like, stunned by this?
And he's like, what, you think my only interests are towing cars?
Like, no, nobody said that, but we thought you might have been into like the New York Jets,
sir.
You might have had other interests that aren't scarification, sir.
Also, you're a minor character. You're like just a step step step step step step in this movie is just a step above an extra though, aren't they?
For Elizabeth Pina and Freddie.
Oh my God.
And Linda Carly.
And Amy Smart.
I'm not talking about the quality of actors.
I'm talking about the lines they're given to work with. Good grief. Yeah. I think those the thatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat the the the the the the the the the the the the that is that is that is that is that is the that is the tattoos that is thatosatosatosatosatosat. I that. Yeah. Yeah. I was that. Yeah. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was th. Yeah. I was th. Yeah. Yeah. I was th. Yeah. Yeah. I was th. I was th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was th. Yeah. Yeah. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I was that. I was that. I fellow though. Oh sure. Yeah. He was a guy. It really was his world is what you're saying.
Welcome to my.
So Detective Dad gets on the computer with Amy's Smart's Help.
And she's sending him what to type.
And she goes, tensil, comma, butt munch.
And I was like, I don't know what you're saying. I have no idea. I had no idea.
And she like shows him how to make an aim profile.
I don't know.
I've never had.
And he's like, how did you find this guy?
And she's like, it's a net pull-down menu?
That's not a thing, I don't think.
I don't know.
She just loves like search engine three times? Like, search engine.
Search engine.
And then she looks at the camera and winks.
Why, I don't know.
They go to the clubs, Zimbabwe.
Wait, wait.
Oh, sorry.
No, no, no.
I'm getting ahead of us.
Go ahead.
I just want to talk about how D-'s like, he was typing this, but this is what appeared on the screen. I was like, you did not.
You did not take the time to figure that out.
The time to figure that out.
You need to get into suspension or a hobby or something.
Oh boy, they need to relax.
So they find a matchbook. It says, the ballba. It's a their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. t. the. t. the. the. t. the. the. the. the. t best club that's ever it's where all of us body moders hang out or whatever. It seems so stressful in there. My first note of the
club is I hate this place. Oh my god if I walked in there I would just lay
down and die I would wait for death. There's like people gently whipping
each other which just seems annoying. Yeah you're like I'm trying to have this Moscow mule please stop. Either whip me or don't. That will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te. te. I's teo. I's te. I's teo. teo. I's teo. I's their their their their their don't, that will be on your tombstone.
The band Bile is playing on stage.
I did research to figure out who it was.
I thought you recognized them and I was like, mm-mm-mm-mm.
But I like that they had on dayglow, like, latex masks that they ripped off and
I was like, well, there's something interesting going on now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah it it guess. And then, uh, the cops are just like, you know,
this place sucks.
And I'm like, yo, this place sucks.
And they leave.
They don't talk to anyone.
They don't question anyone.
They don't look around.
They're like, let's get out of here.
They just get out of there. And trying to die and he's mad that he doesn't die, right? What was he going to do with like why did he bother kidnapping his people?
What are you doing?
How? What is your end game?
He just, he chokes out that guy that looks like alternative Galagher.
Oh, Gallagher's listening to his right. I am alternative.
Smash.
And you're just like, I wanted to die. I was so close.
And the guy's like, I don't care.
Yeah. Get off me. Yeah.
Can I my 30 bucks?
I do know.
I do know.
So he finds, Detective Dad finds Captain Howdy by a barking collie.
After he delivers the line, we're going to arrest your mega bite and ass.
Did you say that? That's good.
Oh, that is good.
He doesn't call for backup. He just goes in.
Yeah. Yeah.
Whatever. Is this how cops work? No.
So he goes into this lair in this suburban house.
Also, did you, this ir in this like suburban house.
Also, this town was like Helverton, Colorado.
The population is 350,000?
Yeah.
It's like just a mid-sized city that doesn't exist.
I mean, why would you?
That is completely populated with people from New Jersey?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Were you getting a vibe of the dead sneaking into the house?
Tell me.
Sounds of a lambs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the lops. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. to. to. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toa. to. to. toa. toa. toooooooo. to. to. the the. the the into the house? Tell me. Silence of the Lambs. Yeah. OK. Yeah.
This whole movie is Silence of the Lambs.
But if you ate Silence of the Lambs,
the script, and then poofed it out.
And they picked up the pieces, and you were like,
that says, I'm movie.
Silence of the Lambs.
That's better. Yeah. Oh, I should mention that I watched this for free on the Roku channel.
What the fuck, dude?
You told me to buy it for $1.99?
You told me it was on sale.
I didn't think you had a Roku.
I don't.
Yeah.
Well, they-nobst.
the tian, thuf ice grape commercial I never experienced.
Oh hell yeah.
It just sounds like vomit in a bottle.
Oh I would drink it.
I would hate it but I would drink it.
I mean we were going to drink twisted ice tea so like what difference does any of this make?
We're going to have to do it in the future.
I've never had one.
Yeah. A twisted me. to to to t in the future. I've never had one. Yeah. A twisted ice tune. Oh, me either.
I'm not buying that.
But I would.
Also, does he go online in his car by just dialing on his cell phone and putting it on the computer?
I think so.
He like places them together and it makes internet, which I feel you could do that. I mean it's like like th you th you I guess, but like in 1998? I think they were just like, people don't know. People don't know.
They don't know what cops have, because cops have more stuff, even though this guy has never used a computer before yesterday. So there's no probable cause. He's also, he also keeps referring to both his wife and his daughter by the same name. I think thi th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they they they they they they they they they they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they they don't they they don't they they they they they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. They th. They th. They th. They thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they don't thi name. I think that was a mistake. He keeps calling them both Jen. Really? Yeah. You know I love those kinds of things. I know I know. So he
breaks in the house, him and there's like 15 people chained up in this house. Who
were they and why did no one notice they were missing? We're not going to get their stories. This is about Captain. It's just dudes. And Linda Cartellain who's got a catheter.
Why she had a cat?
Why?
Why do they just piss on her?
Oh, because you know why there's a catheter so that he can hit him in the face with
piss when there's a fight.
Oh, is that what happens?
Yeah, he picked up.
So.
As if that's like insulting to him. Piss slapping. What do you do? Literally like piss slapping?
Body mod?
Only tattooing heavy.
Do you think you could only afford to tattoo half this body?
Think you ran out of money?
It's expensive.
He went to a tattoo artist and said,
how you make me look real dumb?
The tattoo artist is like, what about just half your body?
What if we bisect this? Half tribal art. And it's just like, uh, like,
college bro tribal stuff too.
It doesn't look cool.
Sorry if you have those tattoos.
All over your face.
I'm not gonna tell you to hang up because apparently I'm scaring people off.
If Carrie King is listening right now, I'm sorry.
Sorry. I mean, had I gotten tattoed earlier. I that t. I tatoed. I tatoed. I got tattoo. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tatoed. tod. tod. todd tod. tod. tta. tta. tta. ttaoed. ttaoed. t. tta. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to to to t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tt. ttttttttthe. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. tribal work somewhere. You would have had Gunna covered up by now. Yeah, probably. Lasered off.
P-t-to-doo.
Is this chopping ball?
So they can do a knockdown drag out.
And D. Snyder is well bigger than this dude.
Oh yeah, this dude's wimpy compared to D. Snyder. And just like mule kicking him with his giant Doc Martins and loincloth self.
And he's not only like, he's half tattooed and then like half of his head is completely
covered in piercings.
Like there's just so much metal on one side of his head.
And he has like three piercings in the bridge of his nose, you know what I mean?
Like it would be very difficult to fit them.
He said to someone who had that N-wereen, and wore, and wore, and wore, and wore, and wore, and wore, and wore, fit them. I said to someone who had that N-war glasses and I was like, it's a weird combo. So greasy, the grease that would happen there is very
upsetting to me. And also why not just get a magnet and get rid of the arms of your
glasses. I love that. See I'm a problem solver. You are. I'm an influencer and a problem solver. Let's let's market this. How can we get money? thrific-that's just emphatically piss in your face.
Look, get excited about whatever you have to.
And then the no check-offs piss.
Oh.
Because they showed up the first act.
They do.
If you're going to show piss in the first act, you have to fire it in the third act.
This is only act too.
I wish the fucking movie.
It goes goes goes goes goes goes goes th.though because this I wish the fucking movie had just ended it does not it goes on much longer so he gets arrested the newspaper photo was amazing
because I'm pretty sure he didn't have the tattoos in the photo and they drew
them in on the photograph of what it looked like I love that I love it I have
the note what a wig what do you think that's about his fucking
amazing wig oh when he when we meet him when he's in coming out of prison ponytail
and he looks like he looks like a cadaver he looks like data
now you know what data's dick would look like it's D. Snyder in her wig
wait data's dick is D. Snyder and a wig I don't like that at all
that's why they couldn't show it on the TV.
That's why.
He looks like Dato wearing a wig of Jackie from that 70s show.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I don't do. I'm feeling it, yeah. And dress like a top Mr. Roger sweater.
Yeah. He's very like, And dressed like a top Mr. Rogers sweater?
Yeah, he's very like,
and he's very, like,
all of his clothes are a variation on baby poop color.
Like, Linda Cartelini is rescued at this point for the first time.
Yeah.
And he's, the dad's like, I'm going to get you out of here.
And the other people were like, sir, I'm a victim,
excuse me, officer, he just walks on the house.
Howdy has let out after four years for being insane.
He wasn't insane at the jump?
Like they just figured out like four years later.
Oh, he's like crazy, he can go home now.
No, I think what happened was they tried to, I looked into this. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I did a little, mental disease or defect, you can be institutionalized
but you're not sentenced the same way you would be if you were actually found guilty.
Right. So theoretically this could happen.
Okay. Because a treat, a course of treatment will be prescribed rather than a sentence,
but. Hence all the meds that he was on. Generally speaking, being found guilty or being found not guilty by reason of insanity,
people serve a longer, spend a longer time institutionalized and they would if they were just
incarcerated. Right. Not four years. And they said he spent a year in jail during
his trial, under which time he was probably not under psychiatric care so. So he's really spent three years getting th years th years th years th years th years th years th years th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. t. G. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. G. G. G. G. G. G. trial under which time he was probably not under psychiatric care so he's really spent three years getting I've been in therapy for nine years like
what the fuck have you tried fading yourself like Dana and wearing a Jackie
from the 70s show I'll take it up with my therapist and see if he thinks
that would help I'm sure I've got cardigans you could borrow I'm sure you do sure you do him he goes home and his house is all fucked up the the the the the th the th th you th you th you th you th you th like like th like th like th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. tta. tta tta tta tta tta tta tta. I. I. I. I. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the this. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's is is is. He's is. He's the the th. He's is is is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the scene entirely. Okidok. I wonder if they cut it because they're like,
we've got another crowd scene coming up in a few minutes.
We don't really need that crowd scene.
Here's another crowd scene.
It's true that there is another crowd scene.
Maybe they should have cut, maybe they couldn't cut that guy's lines.
Or that's what he needed to be to be to be to be to be to be the their their their their their their. He had his health insurance, well you cut me, come on. I have psoriasis.
So he goes home, his lawyer comes outside and he's like,
oh ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say that my client is a very, very sorry for everything he did.
He doesn't want to say anything.
And then he mousy D. Slenider comes like, I just want to say I'm sorry.
Yeah. And then the most southern woman that's ever existed
walks out of the crown, you sorry, son of a bitch.
Yeah.
But she's like a weird, sexy kind of church lady.
She's like wearing a lot of makeup, but also a high-collared dress. Yeah.
Yeah. She makes no sense. It's okay because later you see your tits. Oh, you do!
And standing away from the crowd at his house is, what's his name, Jackson Ford?
It doesn't matter?
Jackson Roth.
Old drunk Jack.
Slash.
Robert Englin.
Freighted Krug.
He's like, someone's gonna take him out.
I mean, vigilante justice in the,
when the law has failed you, it's a bad idea.
I'm not trying, I'm not defending it.
Also, especially when you're a drunko.
Yeah, and a scummo too.
Just because you're jerking it in cowboy boots.
No, he, there was like an implied, like implied domestic violence thing going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's also just drinking in cowboy boots.
Yeah, sometimes you got a, like a leopard print thong and was like, well, I've never
thought I'd see Robert England like this for the second time.
I've seen this movie before.
Sure, sure, sure. Um, so Jackson and his friends, he calls G-Man, which I really...
G-no.
G-Man.
Because it's not New Jersey.
Hey, oh, welcome to Colorado.
They're going to go get Howdy.
Mike the cop has been watching Howdy's house,
sees them take him out. They don't tell us that Mike has been watching the cop has been watching Howdy's house, sees them take him out.
They don't tell us that Mike has been watching the house. We just see him parked across the street.
There's no like, oh I'm going to keep an eye on him.
Oh, I'm having trouble after my daughter's, you know, kidnapping.
All we see is her having a nightmare that is like the last of her emotional state we get. Oh yeah, yeah, the like, the like, the like, the like, the like, the like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the like, the like, the like, the, the, the, the, th. the, the, th. the, the, the, the like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like's having. Yeah, yeah, but like that's that's it.
Yeah. No more time her attention is given to her needs. Well I mean, no it's
it sucks. It's boring. It's boring not to like to just treat women so shit.
No, I agree. I think it would be boring to explore this line of the plot.
They're just like, well, shh. Anyway, let's continue on and we'll discuss what happens
to Linda Cartelani.
So the guys take him and they're gonna lynch him,
as you do, vigilante justice style.
Sure.
The church lady's there.
There's like six people there. Yeah. And they string him up. They're like, they all kind. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I. they. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, th. they're, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the. too. the. the. the. the. the. the and then they're like, they all kind of go,
It starts to rain, they're like, well, I don't want to get wet.
And they just leave.
Branch breaks.
It's the flimsiest of branches.
But wait, but wait, when they're driving away with him in the car, he sees him.
the detective dad, see him, and then they run over the bottle of pills. The only pills there were.
Yeah, and I believe Detective Dad dramatically looks away at this point, too.
He was like, I didn't see nothing.
Yeah. I was looking at your house and no one knows why, because they didn't tell us in the movie.
It wasn't in the script, so I'm not sure how to behave. So what's my motivation?
Just slick back hair and stubble.
What's your motivation?
Done and done.
Howdy hits the ground.
And how did the howdy's hit the ground?
Oh wow.
Oh, different songs.
They're all the same. Of the era, though.
Of the indeed.
And this is the part where I lost my shit watching this movie,
hits the ground, stands up and goes,
Oh, what a rush. Yeah, I like that a lot.
That was like the beginning of the Legion of Doom. The, uh, I believe it was them coming out their tag team
And they would come out and go oh what a rush and then their song would kick in I hope it was I'm otherwise
I'm sure we'll get some email thank you Mike Bolton. Yeah what a fucking thing to say
did the pills wear off that quickly
also like just what a thing to say in any situation. Also like, maybe just move out of town.
How nice is Hilverton, Colorado?
He, when he says that I just have the note, who wrote this?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, desnate it in.
What a rush?
Piercings make you a mortal? You've had more than I'm a rush. Piercings make you immortal?
You've had more than I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm never gonna die.
Live forever.
I like that. I'm glad.
And they make you unkillable.
I mean, I don't have them anymore.
Am I still unkillable?
I don't know.
If someone who has been welcomed to their world could let us know.
Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I Ithe piercing community, but just don't ever say welcome to my world
to anybody.
We cut to shots of Helverton and they're like, oh I guess it's padding time to get this
up to our 87 minutes.
It's not like we could check in with Linda.
to theylund. We're like, oh, we got these scenery, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's the scenery, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's, it's thi, it's, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's th. th. thi, thi, thi, it's. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I. Yeah, I's. Yeah, I's. Yeah, I's. Yeah, I's. Yeah, I's. th. th. Yeah, I's. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi.'s doing. Nope. Camera's already in Helverton. We can't go Linda right now.
We got these scenery shots.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Oh man.
Then we see Robert England narrating a porn.
Oh yeah, that's how you stick it in there.
Whatever the fuck you're saying.
That's how the sex in times having.
Then his wife comes dancing in. And then he starts dancing. Yeah, that's kind of how I dance like just arms flailing up and down like.
Old to Kimbo Katie. Yeah. And he's like oh we're dancing. All right. Dancing. And he's like
stop dancing. So here's where we should point out that his wife when we saw her earlier was probably like five four five five five. Sure regular size lady. Yeah. She's being puppeted by a six foot seven. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. I. th. I. Yeah. th. th. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That. That. That's. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That. I. That. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that's. that's. that. that regular size lady. Yeah. She's being puppeted by a six foot seven man.
I don't know how exactly tall D-Snight is.
It's a little dark, though.
It's a little dark, and there's no way he could hide behind her.
No.
No.
It would be like me puppeting almost anybody.
You'd be able to see me behind them. Just like holding my child. Just moving her back and forth. So, and you can obviously see that her throat has been cut as well.
Yeah.
There's blood all over.
So, Captain Howdy throws the body onto Robert England.
Who gets mad at his wife for dancing for too long?
Because he wants to get down to fucking.
Who's starting to lose this chub?
This is my favorite line in the movie. Go. Wanna play ball, scarecrow?
What?
Scarcrow's don't play ball?
Why would you ask him that?
He is not a scarecrow, no one has played ball.
Or is it a field of dreams reference?
I love field of dreams.
And I truly, genuinely hope not.
There are no scare crrows in that movie. All right, if water rush isn't going to be a catchphrase, I bet wanna play ball scarecrow's really gonna take off.
It's gonna be on t-shirts.
What in the actual fuck?
And you wonder why this movie has a six percent on rotten tomatoes.
This is where we see that Kevin Howdy is back,
howdy is back in all pierced and tatties regalia? This is where he starts just like proselytizing too about, oh my God, he's like a libertarian.
Shake, libertarians, you're fine.
His monologuag.
He just keeps saying things like, my, your badge is stupid, my badges are forever.
Well, they're piercing, so they're actually not. Even the tattoos can come off. Anything, yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th. th, th. th th. th th. th th th th th th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. This is th. This is th. This is th. This is th. This is th. th is th. th is th is th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi're piercing so they're actually not. I mean they're really not. Even the tattoos can come off. Anything yeah. This is where he starts to say
things like do one little physical thing like tattoo your face and people
freak out and my dad told me never to confuse desperation with a spiritual
awakening. Your dad told you that. My dad just said shit like the pirates will never win the World Series. And Dale Earnhardt is is is is is is is is th is th is th is th is that is that is that is th is that is th is th like the pirates will never win the world series and Dale Earnhardt is the greatest driver of all time. My dad never said shit like
that. I mean the second was definitely true right? My dad said who ate this box
of cheese it's? Where's the TV guide? Never confused desperation with a spiritual awakening? No, no. He... That was dad howdy? Papa howdy? Papa howdy? He... he? He... he? He th. He th. He that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. My dad never never never never never never never never never never never never said. My dad said. My dad? My dad? My that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. He th. He that th. He th. He that th. He that th. He th. He that that that th. He that that that that that that that that that that that th. He that that, no. He was dad. Howdy.
Papa howdy?
Papa howdy?
He monologues for at least 20 minutes.
It's so painful.
It's as painful as getting your nipples pierced.
His explanations might be worse than the torture.
Oh yeah.
Maybe stab me.
Stab me. Just jam a needle right into my chest.
Maybe you do feel the pain. He's doing something something th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. toea. toea. toea. toge. toea. toda. toea. toea. toea. toea. th jam a needle right into my chest. Maybe you do feel the pain.
Well, he's doing something where he's got this woman like hooked up in this rig and he's like sticking blades.
The church lady.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like putting blades in her boobs.
I don't know why.
He's a weirdo.
Sometimes he's piercing people, sometimes he's sewing their mouths shut, I guess he's always sewing their mouth shut just for fencies. He sewed Freddy's eyes shut too. Yeah, but when we see Linda Cardellini she does not have scars
from that. No, I just must have had really good plastic surgery. Too bad because he's gonna kidnap her again.
So her mouth shut again. Imagine the second time you'd be like fucking come on. It's so well no I guess it's been four years this whole spright's probably to to th. It's probably th. It's probably th. It's probably th. It's probably the whole's probably th. It's the whole's th. It's the whole's their mouth. It's their mouth. It's their mouth's their mouth's their mouth's their mouth's their mouth's their mouth. I's the second. I's the second the second the second the second the second the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. I's the second. It's the second. It's the second. It's the second. It's the second. It's the second. the the the the ti. the ti. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the second the second the second. the second. the second. the second time you'd be like fucking come on. It's so well no I guess it's been four years this whole is probably close to her just go right back. Oh yeah.
But there's like no explanation of how he kidnaps her again the mom's like
oh the school said you called like this this bitch isn't college.
What are you guys talking about and also like if you went to pick her up a
college why didn't she just not go? So dumb. It's just like oh kidnapped again oh mouse
stone shot again it's just fucking so stupid and he they're scaping yes but in
that like beautiful 1998 where like everything just like eight bit keeps
breaking up and he's like you gotta love this technology
I'm so shitty escaping. Did you notice someone to change the the sign to Helverton?
Welcome to Helltown? Yes, yeah it isn't stupid. That's why they stayed in
Helverton. I don't like that at all. Also there's this other cop, the black cop who
keeps saying just shows up just to say like grand sweeping things like what was God thinking when he made Carlton Hendricks like he just shows up and
says that and then walks out of the scene.
Mr. Police Sergeant is done for the day everybody.
Mr. Police Sergeant is done.
Bravo. This is where we get this so much flesh so little time line.
Oh my god, I just can't eat them.
This is where I have the note this may be the longest 87 minutes of my life.
No, it 100% is.
So Mike's detective dad goes to Zabalba.
Does he go back? Yeah, that's where the church thing is Zabalba, I think.
The place he burns down the same.
Oh, geez, I they they they they they they they they th. I think. The place he burns down? Yeah, either one in the same. Oh, jeez, I hope they had insurance on that place.
It seemed like they were running a legitimate business in there.
Come on, I think Zabalba knows what they're doing.
If they're having gentle whippings, they're going to have a good insurance policy.
You're right.
Those thinks, I do the dog shit out of you?
Please, I do not want dog shit in me.
Oh, I didn't know I had any, please.
Oh, God, where did it come from?
Do you have a special like a spoon or something that you hit?
It's like, it's like, you think, like,
do you think it comes out of your mouth or your butt?
Your hands? Howdy kills Detective Dead. Wait, he's back. There's like a scene where he knocks him on the ground and he's like, oh, he's obviously
dead.
Oh, no, it's not dead.
I don't even remember thinking he was dead.
And then the cop lights howdy on fire when he's suspended from the ceiling.
The swinging dummy is pretty funny.
It's pretty great.
I mean, it looks cool when it looks too and you can tell it's a dummy, it looks awful. It's almost as bad as when, so he takes Robert Englin and suspends him in this like harness
contraption, not a harness contraption, but like this metal contraption and he's got him
hooked like multiple times through his body, and they show him at a distance and you can tell
whoever's in there is wearing a suit. Yeah, it's just looks like it's made of like Play-Doh or something. Really like silly putty. Yeah, because it's really shiny. Super shiny. I don't know what
your skin would look like at that point, but I don't think like that. So then
Howdy is on fire because he threw like. This is a bulb of matches and the oil on to him. At first I thought that was wax and I was like baby like that. thou. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to thi. thi. the. thi. the. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. the. that. Welcome to my world. Welcome to my world. Welcome to my world.
And so the ending of this movie is Howdy's swinging back and forth
on fire and then superimpose laughing Captain Howdy.
Yeah. And that's the end.
That's the end.
That's the end.
Six percent.
Is that your rating? Katie I'd like to. Welcome to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my to my this. this. to this. to this. this. the the this. this. this. this. this. Is this. this. this. this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is this movie. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. th. th. th. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the th? Katie, I'd like to
welcome to my ratings face.
All right.
You want to go first?
Um, his movie's a turd.
Oh, 100% it is.
I would like to place a phone call right now if I could.
Sure, sure.
Hey, Boop, Boop.
Hi. Rob, Rob, sure. He boo, poop, poop. Hi, Rob.
Rob, Zomb?
How are you?
I owe you an apology?
You did a fine job.
Uh, let's not take this too far.
You did a better than 6% job.
Yeah.
This movie is a two, too strong two.
There's some very funny stuff that happens in this movie unintentionally.
What a rush!
Wanna play ball? Scarecrow! It's like he was like Jack Nilsen's Joker's really popular
and that movie The Mask is really popular? Oh yeah with Jim Carrey?
I guess I can't just like...
Don't don't put them back on.
I don't believe there's a lot of catchphrases from the one with their hair stools.
Sue me, is that one of them?
Show me the money?
I don't remember.
Way to they get a load of me.
That's what it is.
Oh no, that's from the, that's from Batman. What is the catchphrase? that's catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch catch? that? that? the catch that? that? the catch that the catch that that that that that that that's that's that's that's the catch the catch that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the catch. the catch. the catch. the catch. the catch. the catch? the catch? the catch. the catch? the catch? the catch? the catch. the catch? the catch? the catch? the catch? the catch? the catch? the catch? the catch the catch the catch the catch phrase. that's that's that's the catch phrase. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatthat's from Batman. Fuck. What is the catch-free? You want me to ask Google?
Yeah. What is Jim Carrey's catchphrase in the movie, The Mask?
Somebody stop me.
Yeah. What a rush? What did you think of Strangeland? I want to give it a 0.06 rating. Oh, sweet. Oh, sweet. That's all. I have nothing more to say. All right. Let's play ball scarecromb.
Oh Katie. Yeah. Can I bring you to a little place I like to call mailbag? Please, please, it's better than this.
This is from Twitter. These are two tweets that I've pulled because I think we've become
influencers. Okay. Our friend Allison from tweets that I've pulled, because I think we've become influcers.
OK.
Our friend Allison from the 30 Days of Night episode.
A great movie, a great episode, a great comedian.
Alice Stilow on Twitter.
Follow her.
Enjoy her jokes.
At wherewrof ambulance, listening to House of 1K corpses,
lying in bed with my dog.
You guys mention Tom Savini and as I roll over and say Savini watch out loud to no one.
HASHTAG Pavlovian response. Influencers. Oh no, we're ruining people's lives.
Is that what influencing is? Yeah, ruining people's lives. Great, we're doing a wonderful job.
From our friends it's cinematically correct. Follow them on Twitter as well.
Yeah. And listen to their podcast. That's a good podcast.
Who knew listening to a podcast about a Rob Zombie film would have me
YouTube being in all country music is the same matchup. Right, did you like it?
Wasn't it fucking weird?
Influencers.
All right, that one didn't ruin anybody's life.
No, I mean it better.
Cool, we're influencing. Let us know how we've influenced you by getting in touch on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
You can email us that we're all family on so Gmail.
tocom we're taking homework requests now.
You can leave her.
We'll tell you about that later.
It's very exciting.
It's very exciting.
We're very excited.
You can leave us a review on iTunes.
Yeah.
You. tell us and everybody else how much you like us. Tell your friends that you like this podcast so they'll listen to. And then you guys can look at each other and go,
what a rush and they'll get it.
I got text message from Justin Gray,
friend of the podcast.
Hi Justin.
And he was doing research for the T-shirts.
I'm gonna show Gatheatty the Victor he sent me. I am very excited about that. But yeah, it's going to be exciting.
So we'll have t-shirts soon.
I know people are excited about that.
Yeah, I'm real. I am for one excited.
I am one of those people.
Me three.
Katie.
Alan.
You want to do another movie by a rock musician next week?
Uh, no?
No, me either.
I'm done with it.
You want to do a Canadian movie about weird body stuff?
100% I do.
Oh man, I had so much fun with this movie.
Yeah.
Let's do the brood.
The brood.
Cronenberg.
I love Cronenberg.
Diffin back into the Cronenberg bull.
You know I love that, Cronenberg weirdness. It's so good. Yeah. You don't even have to listen to it now, you guys know we liked it.
Just his weirdness is so good.
Yeah, what's he thinking?
Oh, you listen, because I think we're going to lose our minds at certain parts during this movie.
I'm excited to talk about it.
So come back next week. It's a it's a criterion movie, so it's a little bit more expensive. There was no SD version. The SD was SD but it costs the same.
So like, why would you not upgrade?
That's some criterion nerds.
I don't know what that means and I'm so sick of people saying it.
I was going to explain criteria, but there's no need.
So thanks for listening to another episode of Wearable Bye. Bye. Can you say one more time?
Say what?
You catchphrase?
What? Yeah.
Welcome to My world.
That's better. the