Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 189- The Dentist (1996)
Episode Date: August 13, 2018This week's episode deserves a subtitle! "The Dentist: Katie's Mistake." Guys, I'm sorry. This was not the movie I remember seeing on cable in the late 90s. OH WELL TOO LATE NOW. Anyway, special topic...s for your consideration include: lots of controversial opinions on such matters as swimming and fashion, PSAs-- lots of PSAs, dentists we like (what's up Dr. Alani), new career paths we may pursue and a harsh but honest criticism of the state of Delaware. Are you into medical horror? You weirdo. If so, check out some of out other episodes, like Episode 20- "American Mary," Episode 29- "Re-Animator" or Episode 137- "Monkey Shines." Have you seen this one? Are you also mad at me? Please let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. And please, keep your own movie suggestions coming! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Okay, listen, I know you're mad.
No.
Okay, but let me just explain.
I'm just wondering what I did.
To deserve this?
All right, here's the problem.
I saw this movie on cable a lot.
to thrown.
toe thrown, But here's the problem. I saw this movie on cable a lot when I was young.
When I was young, this movie's from 1996.
So I was like 12.
So yeah, it was on cable.
I would say I was like 13, 14.
On cable, I think a lot of the brutality is missing,
and a lot of the sexuality is missing,
in which case, it's like really funny.
It was kind of hysterical,
except for the brutality and sexuality.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was a comedy.
I feel like this is your reanimator moment.
Yeah.
And I deserve this.
I deserve your anger.
But I had never seen it like not on cable.
Yeah. Yeah. Boy Boy this is rough. So the producer of
Reanimator is the director of this movie. Didn't he also work on things like
Honey I Shrunk the Kids? Oh I think maybe yeah. Yeah he was a producer on Honey I
Shrunk the Kids. Oh that's where you got that money. And Warlock. Oh of course. Yeah. Man maybe for the 200th episode we should revisit Warlock. I would do that. That. That. That. that. I. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho- I've tho- I've tho- I've tho- I've tho- I've tho- I've tho- I've th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I've the the the the the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Man, maybe for the 200th episode we should revisit Warlock. I would do that.
I would do that. He also directed the sequel to this movie to this movie, the dentist too.
Brace yourself. Okay, that's good. Yeah, I know. That's actually really good. I know. There's a lot of this movie is funny. A lot of it is funny. Corbyn. Yeah. Yeah. I love th of th of th of th of th of th of th. th. th. th of th of th. th of th. th of th of th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. th. th. th. the th. th. thn Burnson is great. Yeah. I love him as Roger Dorn in the Major League franchise.
I did not know who that was, but yes.
Yeah.
He's not Wild Thing.
I'm out of names.
Oh wait, no, that's Charlie Sine.
Rick Fon Wild Thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is it the second movie that. Willie Macy's in both movies, but in one he's Wesley Snipes and the next one he's Omar
Epps.
And we're supposed to not notice a difference.
America.
I really, he's in one of my favorite anthology movies, Tales from the Hood.
Who is?
Corbden Burns.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and he plays a David Duke-type racist character. Oh, he's kind th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, and he plays a David Duke type racist character and it's really ridiculous. He's kind of, he's not a villain but he's sort of like a
hapless idiot jerk in the Major League franchise. I feel like he plays a great
jerk. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just something about him that's very
jerky. I think he's just like a perfectly symmetrical white guy, yeah, who's kind of buff. Yeah, you don't think? He he. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's kind, he's kind, he's kind, he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he's kind he, he's kind of, who's kind of buff. Yeah, kind of buff.
You think?
Yeah, you don't think?
Yeah, he's fit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would never think of Corbyn's as being buff, but I like it.
I thought he was in this movie.
How could you tell with all those giant pleaded slacks on?
Maybe it was the giant slacks and wide ties that confused me.
Oh he's Dorino shaped. So am I. Can I do a quick PSA before we get into this movie? Yeah.
So we don't dissuade anyone. I spent a really long time in my life not going to the dentist. Did you?
20 years of my life. I had a really
bad experience with the dentist when I was young. Did they touch your underpants? No, they went to put
Novikin in my mouth and I pushed their hand away and they drew back like they were going to hit me? How old are you? Oh, I don't know, 12? Oh, I don't know. They didn't hear you they didn't they didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't they didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. Oh. Oh. They didn't hear. They didn't hear. They didn't their. They didn't they didn't hear. Oh. They didn't. Oh. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't t. They didn't t. they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't. But he had to take a moment and to leave the room. Oh wow. Yeah he was real bad his hands always
stunk a cigarette. Oh God he wasn't wearing gloves? Oh no, he was. Oh no. he was.
Oh no. he wasn't he was. Oh no. He was going to go every six months and it's great. And for some reason that like you know, you know, I'm thrown. their, their, to to to to to to to to to their, to to their, to to their, to to their, to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And, their their thoooooo great. So I want to encourage people to go and take care of your teeth because it can lead to things
like heart disease if you don't go.
Really?
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So who's your dentist?
I like to put a tea.
te.
tooo.
their, you. their, you. to you. to you.
. their, you. their, you. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the. the. the. t the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Nice. She's also named Katie. Go see them. They're nice. Yeah. Yeah. They take good care of your teeth. My dentist is very nice as well. Dentists are nice. I actually saw
the dentist like three days before I watched this movie. Yeah. And we talked about how,
actually most dentists aren't nice. And they also have a very high rate of suicide. So. Yeah. She was like, I feel fine though. I feel fine thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi thi. I'm thi thi. I too. I too. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I te. I te te tea. I tea. I tea. I teeea. I teea. I teea. I teean. I tea. I tea. I tea. And I was like, good to hear Dr. Olani. Gonna need you. I'll plug my dentist, Dr. Bonstal at Chestnut Hill.
I can't remember the full name of the-
That sounds fancy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I'm a fancy boy.
I hear a fancy lad.
It's in Shadyside.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh. And every time I go in there, he's like telling me about like new legislation in the city
that he helped to get past to like make sure dogs are kept indoors and like take care of
animals and stuff.
So like, he does really run stuff.
Oh, not like that you can't walk them.
No, no, no, but like, no, no.
No dogs on our sidewalks. So, let's get into bad dentists. Yeah, all right, so, like, this movie is really brutal.
Yeah, it's got some good points. It's got Ken Foray in it.
Who's Ken Foray?
He is in, uh, Don of the Dead. He is the main cop.
Yeah, yeah. He's super weird in this movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's super weird in this movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's super weird and everything.
He's great.
Do you like that his partner is called Officer Sunshine?
100%?
For no reason?
The cops are so dumb in this movie.
I figured you would enjoy that.
I did.
They're ludicrous.
Ken Forhey is like, you just like, introduced to him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him to introduce to introduce to introduce. That I was reading about this movie and
it's really a goat. It's a stuffed goat that they just covered in blood and
hid the horns. Very bizarre. That's pretty good. But he's like standing over
that eating like peanuts out of a bag. Yeah. It's a fucking ballpark.
At first I thought he was a dog cop. Like he looked into crimes against dogs.
Ken for it. Yeah that's not it though. Detective a dog cop, like he looked into crimes against dogs. Again for a dog cop.
Yeah, that's not it though.
Detective Foochie.
He's hunting a burglar with his partner, Officer Sunshine,
that they never catch, and we never hear of again.
He just gave up on.
Also, you can tell that Officer Sunshine may have had more lines,
but they don't let him say in because he cannot deliver a line. He is so bad.
I freaked for a second because I thought
Officer Sunshine was also in Strangeland.
I thought he was like the second cop.
I thought so too.
But wasn't that guy's name something, Officer Christian?
But they had the same amount of acting prowess.
Yeah, and like, slicked back side parted side-parted hair, uh, generic white guy look.
So 90s, just part your hair like a fucking loaf of bread just right down the center.
Right, just,
just, speaking of ridiculous, can we talk about the pool boy?
Yeah. He's so ridiculous. He is the ultimate stereotype.
You think? Wait, what is that guy's name?
Matt. Oh, fucking Matt. I love how like...
So, so, just sort of summate.
Uh, good luck.
Corbyn's in plays Dr. Alan Feinstone, a dentist who is, uh, evading the IRS,
and has a strain relationship with his wife but has a shitload of money. Sure. And cuff links. And those shirts that are blue but
have a white collar, don't wear those. Those are ugly. You know what I mean?
I feel like they're back in fashion now. They're not good on anybody and they,
it's just a, it's just a sign that says you're a douc-bag. Yeah. Sorry to all of our white-colorededed-cored-cored-cored-colored-colored-coled-cala-cala-a-cala-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s, th-o-a-o-o-s. th-a-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s, th-a-s, th-a-a-a-s. th-a-a-s. th-a-a-s. th-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. th. th. th. th-s. th. th-n't th-s. th-s. thii. thi-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-n't-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. thi-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s. thi-s. th white-collared blue shirt wearing listeners. I don't think
there's any of you out there. If you are right in, I guess. Controversial opinions. His wife, when
we were introduced to his wife, she's outside talking to the pole boy in a robe and nothing
else. Right. Her name is Brooke. I wanted to name my child Brooke. Rob said no. And then when I saw this movie the IRS guy's like the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th guy th guy th guy th guy th guy the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi th. th. Right th. Right th right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right there's th. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. name is Brooke. I wanted to name my child Brooke. Rob
said no. And then when I saw this movie the IRS guy's like, Brooke. Such a
waspy name. And I was like, good choice. Good choice, Rob. He catches her. He has a lot of
issues with decay and dirty things in both your teeth and your life.
And it's funny.
I think that his monologues about decay being everywhere
are kind of funny.
I really do.
A lot of it's in a voiceover too, which somehow makes it funnier.
With him just like staring off into the middle distance and like the light bar
goes across his eyes. Yes.
And he's just comparing a relationship to tooth rot. I like that a lot. I really do.
So he catches his wife cheating on him in like a pretty serious beach scene, which I definitely
did not see on cable.
There's the one scene, like so it's like obscured by a plant, and then at one point her
head shifts forward and she's still in beage motion, but there's nothing between her and
the dude's waist and it's really hilarious. Because you can see his belt
buckle? They couldn't have just re-shot that you know? Nah no they're one and
done. And he is his hands are really dirty because he's been cleaning the
sludge filter was that real? The sludge filter never heard of such a thing. I don't have a pool. Someone I know. Someone do-to in that pool? It's filled with shit.
Get your sludge out of there.
I mean, I pee in pools.
I don't poop in them, though.
They got that red dye in there that you poop in the pool shows up.
That is never a thing.
You know how I know that that's not real.
Because they can make those baby diapers for swimming that just lets their pee out. You know that? That's what a baby diaper for swimming is. Just lets their pee out.
Because if it was absorbent, they would just sink to the bottom.
That's why I'll plug another thing, the Highland Park Pool that has a separate pool for little,
little, little baby people.
You're in esteral. And there's a lot of chlorine in those pools. You're taking a bath with your neighbors already. Just get over it.
It's not a hot tub, which I just call people soup.
Oh, I don't get in a hot tub.
It's just a pool for stupids.
Uh-huh.
A lot of Alan's involved in this.
Uh-huh.
In a real quick moment while we're down here, the soundtrack to this movie is done by Alan Howorth a lot of Alan's involved in this you Dr. Alan Feinstone and now Alan Holworth who did a lot
of soundtracks with John Carpenter okay yeah the score is very overwrought in a
lot of places it's redonculus so yeah she's fucking the pool boy he has this
weird or the dentist the dentist Corbyn Benson has this weird the this weird, or the dentist, Corbyn-Burdson,
what's his name?
Alan Feinstone.
Has this weird, like, fantasy about getting her to bite the dude's wiener?
Yeah, it's real gross.
But he's just yelling, she has a perfect bite, which is funny, that's funny.
I feel like I should have to keep defending it.
He's jamming his wife's head
under this guy's crotch with a gun to her head.
Yeah, that's not awesome.
That's not funny.
But she's got a perfect bite is really funny.
So we forgot to mention that we start off with a pantomime.
Corbentimbing being a dentist.
Oh, right. And like, there's like their their their their their their is their is their is their is their is their's their's their's their's their's their's like, their's like, their's like, their's like, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, the. the. the. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. And like, there's like the sounds of dental tools,
but there's nothing in his hands.
He's just making the motions.
Yeah, it's like a dance.
It's like an opera.
That's not a dance.
That's a song.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And then we realize that he's not...
Oh, did you notice that when the Beecher scene starts, they do a close-up on the pool man and he has a rotten tooth?
No, I didn't.
One of his teeth is like discolored you.
Oh, no, I didn't.
Yeah, decay is everywhere.
So then he tells her they're going to have an anniversary dinner and then goes to the office.
Where we see...
I'm Mark Ruffalo.
Mark Ruffalo, he's like a teenager.
No he's not, it's like 1996.
He's like 43 at that point.
He's like a skee agent, I guess.
And he's there with a woman that he calls April rain.
He wanted to call her April showers.
He's a terrible agent.
It really is.
They just have to fix her teeth and then she'll be perfect.
Right.
They should do something about her hair too, because she looks like, she has like a Marilyn Monroe
do, but it's 1998.
Oh, wait.
Actually, we see them at the office. The dentist has not yet gotten to the office
because he goes to his neighbor's house to shoot her dog.
That's real fuck.
To be fair, the dog is attacking him.
Not until he kicks the gate open and the dog is able to run out and bite him.
The dog's behind a gate barking at him.
He could have walked away.
I guess. But he's a dick and he turns around he he gate, and the gate comes open, and then he kills the dog.
I mean, if a dog bites me with a gun in my hand,
I'm probably going to shoot the dog.
But you're just saying the dog bites me with a gun,
and I'm like, that's called shooting.
Oh, I've been gunned, the gun, the the super rude to the neighbor where he's just peeping the fillings in her mouth
and being like, you need to come see me.
Like, that's fucked up.
In no profession should you do that.
Like if you're a personnel trainer you don't say to someone like, hey, you're looking
a little flabby, you need to come see me.
Go and grab the bice.
Yeah. No. And Matt, the pool boy shows up at her house next.
Oh, and then there's, they fucking.
Yeah.
But like, he shows up while Kerbin Burnton, because he follows the bullboy over there.
That's how he's up the neighbors.
Right, right, right.
He shoots the dog then.
Yeah. And then goes to his office. Where we see that he has a framed photo of his wife and tha and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. C. C. C. th. C. the the the the the the the the th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Yeah. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the neighbor woman, both in bikini. It's like super weird to have a framed picture of your neighbor in a bikini on your desk.
You know he's J-O into that.
Oh yeah, he is J-O-ing.
I bet he doesn't J-O actually.
You think that's why he's a little bit off- Bob, Bob, we need a name we're not going to get sued for. But make it kind of Jewish, okay?
Oh, man.
Okay, and all of the rooms in his dental office are like fantasy sweets, like in a weird hotel.
So they show this kid in the like rainforest room and he's just wearing a lay, the patient is wearing a lay. That's funny. You talk about Jody Sanders?
Yeah.
Who's like seven and going to the dentist for the first time?
Oh.
Yeah, when do you take a kid to the dentist for the first time?
I don't know.
You got a kid, I don't know.
She barely has teeth. Like, I don't know. I don't know when you do that, but I was going to ask you if you know when you're supposed to take... Oh, I'm going to Google it because I feel like I should know. When should child go to the dentist?
Oh, fuck. What happened? The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends that a child go to the
dentist by age one or within six months after the first tou erupts. I remember getting my first haircut, but not going to the dentist for the first time.
Were you scared of getting your first haircut?
I must have been.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which makes sense because the guy who cut my hair
later was arrested for being a pedophile.
Oh no, oh no.
A kitty didler cut your hair. Yeah, thiweree, that's a big fuck up.
Delaware, just all kinds of weirdos. I mean...
I had a teacher that beat me up in class when I was a kid, it's just a...
So you got punched by a dentist.
Almost punched.
I got punt by a dentist.
Oh man. Yeah, and a teacher that banged my head off a desk, yeah.
Jesus. Good times. That was life in the 60s th 60 th 60 th 60 th 60 th 60 that that was life in the 60s though, huh? P. You. I have a PSA for our audience.
I like this theme.
The IRS will never call you.
If the IRS calls, it's a scam.
They'll never call you.
They do everything by mail.
I am a tax preparer. I can tell you this.
Oh, that's good to know.
They don't know your phone number. They don't they they they they they they they they they I can tell you this. Oh, that's good to know. They will never call you.
They don't know your phone number.
They don't care.
They will send you a letter.
That's all.
Oh yeah, it's government work.
They're always going to send a letter.
Always.
And they're always going to tell you.
And the told the to be, to send, to send, to send, to be, to be, there and some of them apparently sound very real. That's a good PSA. Here's the second PSA. Shoot. The IRS will
likely not accept free dental work in lieu of you paying your taxes.
Hmm. Question, follow-up. Yes. Follow up to your PSA. Yes. What if the
tent or the IRS man is a sick gross boy? What if he is the actor who voices the ghost pirate LeChuck in the Monkey Island franchise,
which blew my mind?
What if I had no fucking idea what that is?
The Monkey Island franchise is a series of LucasArts games for PC that are very funny and
they're like, you gotta go around and pick things up and then figure out how to use them to solve puzzles. With a pirate named Guybrush 3pud. Which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the their, the ghost, the the ghost, the the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, their, their, their, the g. The, the g. The, the g. The, the gi, the gi, the gi, the gi, the gi, the gi, the gi, the gi, the gi, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, theirthey're like you got to go around and pick things up and then figure out how to use them to solve puzzles with a pirate
named Guybrush Threepwood which I really want to name a dog but I don't have a
dog and don't really want one. Just name a fucking random dog on the
street. Guy Brush, come here, Guy Brush. And the guy thrush. Grybrush. I was like, where do I th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thr-a the villain, the ghost pirate LeChuck.
And his voice is so distinctive.
I was like, where do I know this guy from?
I like know him, but I don't know him.
And then I realized he was LeChuck.
Earl Bowen?
Earl Bowen.
He's great.
I liked him.
In this movie?
He's a super grosso.
Yeah. Yeah. Apparently he's in the Terminator franchise also, but I don't do that.
I don't remember I'm in the Terminator franchise.
I don't know.
All I care about is Monkey Island.
Fuck, he was on the Jefferson's.
He has a long history of movies and video games and voice work.
And Barney Miller and Mash, he was like in my TV watching. Yeah, you're 60s. So 1982 that was on the show.
I wasn't born yet, Alan.
Oh, he's in, yeah, he's in, he's in the Terminator movies,
Dr. Silberman.
Yeah.
Huh, anyway, what do you know?
Here's another PSA.
Somebody's wearing cuff links.
They're probably a dick. Don't you think? I've never
worn cuff links. What are they for? Because some shirts don't have buttons on the sleeves.
That seems cheap to me. No, it's for the fancies. No, but it seems like just put a button on it,
and then you don't need a cuff link. I'm just trying to be efficient. But then you put your fancy cuff link that's got your initials on it and then you're like, oh, oh, mhm.
Mm-mm.
Matches your tie clip.
What's a tie clip for?
Holding your tie in place.
Don't they have like little slots in the back?
They do, but so it doesn't flop forward.
It's holding it to your shirt big part. No, no, they have a little slippy slap for that. That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, you got it right? No, but now I don't understand anything. The
tie clip goes, and then tie into your shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean they're fine, but it's just a dumb concept. I mean, I guess it's an accessory like a tie is acceptable but if I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi., you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like the tie is acceptable, but if I like ripped around an ascot, and you'd be like,
what's on with this guy over here, huh? Look at an ascot job? I don't know. I mean, I don't know.
I feel like pocket squares are very big now, so I don't see how an ascot is too far. It's true. It's true. It's true, it's true, it's true, it's true, it's true, I in th, I in th, I in th, I in th, I in th, I in a th, I's th, I's th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I's th. th. th. thi, I thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi,. Too old, I think, to be going to the dentist for the first time.
Yeah, you're right. Ah, fuck, I gotta call the dentist.
This is where I have the note, ug, I hate the screepy thing.
Oh, I like the screapy thing. Oh, I like the screa-oh-oh! Oh, I like the scoge. thii th- thr-oh, oh, and thr-oh, and thr-oh, and thr-oh, oh, and thr-I I' to to thr-I's to be to be thr-I's thr-I's to be thr-I'-I'-I'-I'-I'-I'-I'-I'-oh-s! Oh, I thkkkkkk! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'-s. Oh, I's-s. Oh, I's-s. Oh, I's-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. Oh, I'-s. Oh, I'rof-s. Oh, I'-s. Oh, I'-s. th'-s. th'-s. th'-s. Oh, I'-s. Oh,ienist is a job that I should have considered because I feel like it would just be so
satisfying like scrape a bunch of shit off people's teeth. It doesn't make you
feel like you want to vomit that your hands are in someone else's mouth. Not even
slightly. The only thing I can think would be grosser would be to be someone who gives pedicures. Tone nails I would just love to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to to to to to to to to to to to to be just to be just to be to be to be to be someone someone to be someone to be someone to be someone to be someone to be someone someone someone to be someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone to be someone someone someone someone to be someone to be someone someone to be someone to be someone someone someone to be someone to be someone someone to be someone someone to be someone someone to be someone to be someone someone to be to be someone someone someone someone someone to be to be to be to be someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone. to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be someone who. to be someone., I feel, are much grosser than teeth.
Ugh.
I would just love to just scrape someone's teeth.
Oh, it'd be so great.
And just to like see tangible results.
Ah.
Eh.
I love that you would love to do that, but it seems like the, every time the dental hi jenis is doing, I'm just gonna be like, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,ienist is doing I'm just gonna be like I'm so sorry. But they like I mean they today
went to school for it and shows they shows it it's no one's forced into
dental hygienistry. Also I love the hygienist in this movie Karen and Jessica
I love them and I also just kept wanting to shake them and be like, get a new job. Yo, Karen is fucking intense. Karen is intense.
She stares a lot.
Jessica is mouthy.
She's got mouth.
I'm a fan of Jessica.
RIP, Jessica.
Yeah, RIP, Karen, too.
Are we supposed to assume that Karen has the hots for the doctor?
Or she just very, like, she just, uh she just I think she's just loyal and takes her job very
seriously okay okay all right yeah I didn't know if there was an implied like I
think they all fear him you because he commands respect because these the
dentists which I think the whole thing is kind of a joke because dentists get very
very little respect you know what I mean I think it's, I think it's a very tongue in cheek.
Gotta go.
Concept.
I can't believe you wrote that town.
I didn't.
Oh, no. Okay.
Just came over the top of my head.
And he says, like, he says things, so we're always busy. I love that.
I didn't know you were so into dentistry. And I was making so much more sense.
Yeah.
You love all the terrible dental punts.
I do.
I do.
I do.
The Navy punts are just statements.
Yeah, yeah.
There's a dentist on the same floor of the building where I work. And they have they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they say the the the th th th. th. the the, the, the, like the, like the, like the, like the. tho, like, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I th. I th. I thi. I the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the, the, the, the, the, the, is the. I'm, is the. I'm, is thean, is tean, is tean, is tean, is tean, is tean, is tean. I'm is te. I'm is the building where I work, and they have a sign on their door that has,
it's like a tooth, an anthropomorphic tooth
carrying a suitcase and sort of walking,
and it says, ignore your teeth, they'll go away.
I love that.
Although I will say, flossing is a scan.
I floss all the time.
Gross. I have to worry about periodontal disease.
I'm sorry to hear that.
As everyone does.
I got a little gum recession that I was not happy to hear about.
Yeah, oh when they do the sticky thing where they're like a miss, and that's my nerve.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ouch.
Oh, the next note I have I have I have I have I have I have I have's John Sina talking about how we should be nice to gay people because love is for
everyone.
Fuck.
I know I love it.
He's great, right?
He's wonderful.
I would assume.
He's in starts yelling about butt chugging. What's going on 10 years ago?
He's also made done more make a wish,
foundation wishes than anybody else by like threefold.
It's funny, I didn't follow the WWE,
but like I knew that he was in there at the time
and he just was like, looks like a corny boy
because he wore those like denim shorts.
He's nice saluting. But then he like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. He's, th. He's th. He's, th. He's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. th. th. th. th does the, there's that really long PSA where he's like walking through a street in New Orleans and he's just like, this is America.
We're made up with these people and these people and these people and these people and these
people and you have to accept everybody.
I'm just like, yeah, that's the ad.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's, I'm, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. vote for John Sina? No.
I mean, it depends on what my choices for it, but probably.
I mean, you get stone cold in there.
We could talk about it.
He's doing the stunner.
Oh no.
Well, I was gonna say, I'd love for him to give Donald Trump the stunder, but he has. Oh, no. Yeah. That's a real thing. Yeah, that's a real. Yeah. Yeah. that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a real that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that-ba-da-ba-ba-da-baugh.
So April rain comes into the office.
And this is where things get a super gross.
Yeah.
Here's another question.
How do you get pantyhose off if the persons were also wearing shorts?
What's she wearing shorts? Yeah, I think so? I mean that would be too short to be a skirt. It just doesn't make any sense.
So, yeah.
Also, why would you wear pantyhose with shorts?
It's a good look, come on.
Yeah.
So, he's having these delusions.
And this delusion that he has, April rain is replaced by his wife.
Right.
So he starts sexually assaulting April rain. Who has been like nitrous to the, to to to to to to to to to the hills, to to to to the hills, to to to the hills, to to to to the hills, to to the hills, to to to to to to to the hills, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tooes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, toails. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooesliails.ails.ailsailsailsailsailsailsailsailsails.ailsailsails.ails.ails.ails.ails.ails. Ohlots. Oh. So he starts sexually assaulting April Rain. Who has been
like nitrous to the to the to the hills. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like grinding on top of
her and unbuttoning her blouse and yeah takes her pantyhose off. It's real. It's
it's gross. It's gross. It's gnarly.
It's gross.
Yeah.
See, I feel like that was glossed over in the cable version, too.
What was it because you were 12, and you were just like,
this is a movie?
I don't think I was like my reanimate or thing.
I'm like, yeah't think it shows booby grabbing and stuff like that. I think it just...
Over the bra, for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, I think the cable version didn't.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Meanwhile, Mark Ruffalo is chatting up a teenager in the waiting room about how she should be a model.
And he's like tell ever do runway work? You gotta look good for those judges, but like, that's not what runways are.
They don't have judges.
It's like literally nobody cared.
And it's, so that is, who is that?
That's Sarah?
Yes, Sarah.
Sarah is the most sympathetic character in this movie.
Oh, for sure.
She has that great stacked,. Center part, schoolgirl mini, knee high tights,
t-shirt with slogan under unbuttoned shirt. She is Mrs. 1996. I was wondering, like, because
when we first see her, she's like, dumpy jeans and like a crocheted top. That was that was
trendy. Oh sure, for sure. Yeah, yeah yeah I remember our the faculty episode yeah yeah but um and then when she comes
back to the office was she expecting Mark Ruffalo to still be there and be like
oh wait I'm working it now oh I don't know or maybe she was expecting to get
her braces off and just be like this new person she was literally throwing a party after she got her braces off so to the the the the the th th th th th th to th to to th th to to the to the to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. te. te. te. ty. ty. ty. ty. try. try. try. try. ty. try. ty. ty. ty. ty. a party after she got her braces off. Yeah, she's she shows up the first day. She's supposed to get her braces off.
Doctor sexually assaults the patient and then kicks everybody out of the office.
Yeah.
Screaming the discipline, the long hours, the lack of respect in the world that keeps ignoring dental hygiene.
It's like a fresh air, do it good. I just carries her out. thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the thinks the the the thoome, the the the the thiou the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their. Dr. Dr. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. theaughea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooea. tooces Mark Ruffalo to just take April rain out?
Yeah.
It's like fresh air, do it good.
Just carries her out and then we never see them again.
No, Ruflo runs back in and knocks out the doctor.
That's right. That's what causes the office to shut down.
Coldcocks him?
Coldcocks, I know, but what's the etymology of cold cock?
I don't know.
Just asking.
Anyway, like, you can see where this is going.
He's losing it and he's treating his dental patients very badly.
I mean, he like digs into the child's, we didn't talk about the scraper, and it threw us off. But he the th th th th th th th th th th thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thi thinks thinks to thinks to thi to to thi thi. I to thi. thi. to to thin. to to too-a' too-I too- too-I's too-I's told. told. told. told. too-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. toa. th. th. t. t. todeea-a-a-a-a-a-s. toda-s. toda-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-easeaseasea-sa-sa-s. toda-s. the scraper and it threw us off. But he scrapes the kid till he's bleeding and he gets carried out screaming.
I mean he drills into the neighbor's tooth until there's like nothing left.
There's just like little flex of tooth going everywhere. I can taste it.
It's so gross. That's gross. That's a gross thing to say.
I've had some cavities filled the past the th the th th th th the th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus the thus the the the the the the the, the the the the ththing to say. I've had some cavities filled the past couple of years and like, just that tate.
There's a bunch of shots of like close-ups of a mouth and they're all the same mouth, like thing, like prop,
but they put different teeth in them, they represent different people and I really appreciated them.
There's also a really gross, oh I guess he hasn't, we even gotten to his wife yet.
I like don't have, I had no memory of that.
That is so fucked.
I mean that's like Eli Roth was just sitting at home watching this and jerking it so
hard as a teenager and that's where he came from, I feel.
Eli Roth just reminds me that for my partner's birthday we watch the Baywatch
movie because she loves Du watch the Baywatch movie, because she loves
Duane the Rock Johnson.
Of course.
That movie?
Produced by Eli Roth.
You're kidding.
Why wouldn't it be?
Why wouldn't it be?
What is this world?
Up is down, down is up.
It's confusing.
I mean, it's non-sub dick jokes, so it makes a thii. Yeah. I just think that he was probably saw this movie and was like, this is my inn. This is what I'm doing now.
He makes an appointment for his wife to come meet him at the dentist office.
Right, they're going to go to dinner for their anniversary.
This is all in one day.
This is all happening in one day.
And he shows up in like, she shows up with wearing open-toed shoes with pantyhose, too, which is disgusting. She shows up at her slinky black dress.
Yeah.
With her curly sideburn tendrils, very 96.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's wearing a tux with a scarf because he is a famous pilot?
What the fuck is he doing?
I don't know. But he has somehow turned one of the operating rooms into an opera-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ss, ths, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. theeee-s. tearedeneredededed-s. tend-s. tend-s. tend-s. tend-s. teearedeared-s. te-s. the operatory, number four. Laskala.
How did he do that so quickly?
I don't know, and also it can't be hygienic
because it has so many curtains in it.
Yeah.
I thought that about the plants and the rainforest too.
Like, I feel like they were touching the chair.
So much dusting would her to sit in the chair, strangles her with his scarf, puts the
nitrous on her.
And then starts pulling all of her teeth.
Yeah, it's not good.
No.
No, it's very bad.
Yeah, it's very bad.
Yeah, it was weird.
It's real weird and it's real bad.
Then he cuts out our tongue. Let's just just, the the the th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the-I strananananananananananananananananan't thrananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan real bad. Yeah. Then he cuts out our tongue.
Let's just cut to the chase.
I have the note here that says,
if this is another fantasy, I'm gonna be pissed.
Because it just, like, the fantasies were just like throwing me off.
Right, because they weren't that different than what he was also doing it. So we then cut to the home.
He's taken Brooke home and tied her to a chair in the backyard.
As you do.
There's two empty containers of baby food on the counter.
Because he fed her baby food.
It doesn't have a teeth or a tongue anymore.
Yeah.
And the cops come over. And they taste the baby food, which I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, they, they, thi, the, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th....... th. they. tho, they. ta, ta, ta. ta. togu. togu. togu. to. to. togu. they. they. they. the, they. And they taste the baby food, which I thought was disgusting. There's no need to do that. Disgusting, because someone could be like, oh, those are my baby
food containers that I shit in. Why would you shit in a baby food? They're so small. They're so
small. How much shit do you think they could, they're like an ounce? It's just a little doo-doo boy. But it could be anything. Like, they're th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tho, like, like, like, like, tho, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th, th, th, th. Why, th, th, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho, th. Why, th. I know. This is the kind of dialogue you're going to get from this film, The Dentist.
Yeah.
Dr. Feinstone, I was just having breakfast.
Detective, the most important meal of the day.
I'm a fruit man myself.
What? I don't care!
I don't care! Why are you telling me this? I guess the dentist is like a cop, a coop, a they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their I guess the Dennis is like a cop, unnecessary evil. I liked that. I like a cop
admitting they're a bad guy. So then we cut to Matt cleaning the pool, which he does every
fucking day? It was very dirty, too. There were a lot of leaves in there. And there was also a tongue in there. Oh yeah. But, you know, I don't like that he cut her tongue out, but I like the idea of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoome the the the thoome thoom- thoom- thoome. thoome. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo te toooooo te te.e te te thto tht a tongue in there. Oh yeah. But, you know, I don't like to be cut her tongue out, but I like the idea of the pool boy
finding it.
And then he goes to lift a hat up that's covering her face and see that she is completely
mangled by the doctor.
Yeah, there's also like he throws the knife into So yeah, the doctor runs out and stabs Matt to death.
Yeah, well saying something about being the enemy of corruption, the dentist.
I love your unrestrained love of it.
It's just stupid.
Yeah.
Then the IRS guy comes in, and he says he was hoping for a little whiff of the goof
that I laughed at too.
He says things like, you've got a great marriage, I can tell by your returns, you spend plenty
on her.
That's not on your tax returns.
Or maybe it is if you're a great dentist.
What would you be writing off?
Diamond rings?
No, it's not a tax deductible.
Diamond tip drill rings.
And you wouldn't admit it as such.
Business dinners.
Yeah.
That's legit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, 50% meals and entertainment.
If you're self-employed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The cops are the highlight of this movie, right? Like, there's a conversation between the two of them where Officer Sunshine is like,
why would you want to shoot a dog?
And the other cop's like, because he's a dentist, they're capable of anything.
They eventually discern that the, it was shot with a Walther, P.K. or whatever.
No, who cares and they're like oh in the 10 mile
radius there is three guys own them and one of them is the dentist. We've
already questioned. Yeah. Then it takes them so long to get to him that he's
able to kill a Jessica. Yeah. Karen do like a fucked up thing to the IRS guy. to the IRS guy. He has him like tied up and his mouth clamped open.
I really like later on when we see the IRS guy and he's running around and his
jaw is super swinging. Also that would fucking hurt so bad. Yeah, I yeah.
Yeah. And he has time to take Sarah's braces off. That cannot be a quick procedure. And chase her around and try to kill her. All of that, all of that in the time it takes the cops takes the the cops the the takes the takes takes the to the the the to to the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the to the the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha.a.ra.ra.ra.ra.ra.ra. thra. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of that in the time it takes the cops to get to his office.
The only person I cared about in this entire movie is Sarah.
Sarah.
Well, she gets away.
She does.
Who is Candy Whitridge?
She's the office manager.
OK. I love her.
And she does the ordering for the office. Matthew Ziggler is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is the guy is th. the guy is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t........................................................ I love her. She does the ordering for the office. Matthew Ziegler is the guy who comes in to sell her stuff? Yeah. And they're going out
to lunch, like Chinese food together. Yeah. So good. They're going to get the
the slipper ship at Yang Chow's. Like just things like that are so stupid. So funny. I guess I'm just, I'm grasping at straws. And then I like when he's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, when, like, like, like, when he's the the the the the the the the the they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they. they. th. th. thi, they. they. thi, to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, th, they. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. th. they. th. th. thi. I's th. th. they. I's th. th. I's th. thi. I's th. I's to they. Yeah, they he goes, you can't hide, not from your dentist.
So weird.
It's true that you can't.
I like in all of his like, when he has the delusions
and he's looking at people, they have like super shitty wooden teeth.
Yeah.
Decay is just knocking at your door.
Oh, man.
So he like basically runs off to the dental school where he he takes.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th the, the, th the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. to, to, to, to, to to to to toe to toe toea. toe. toe. the. the. the. the basically runs off to the dental school where he teaches.
After he gets a chased out by the cops, he's so fast, they are so slow.
Yeah, he just gets in his Lexus and casually drives to the school.
And they're like, where is he? We don't know that he's a teacher because there's no way of knowing that.
There's a million ways of knowing that.
And you're a cop, so fucking, th- Sunshine. Did you like the way that Sarah got away
from him? Not to go back. No, please go back.
Go back. to go back real quick. And she's like, I would eat any candy and her
brush three times a day. And he goes to the teanthinne. Okay. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love. I love. Yeah. I love. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to go. to go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. to the core of him. She understood that his problem was decay.
So he goes to the dental school and he's try to convince the dental students to pull all of the teeth out of their stoo their patients.
And the people are like, ah, no.
I like that because it's so over the top.
And then he's trying to get them to extract at gun points.
like that because it's so over the top. And then he's trying to get them to extract at gun points.
Yes.
And then he shoots a kid.
He shoots a dental student.
Yeah, and then he's taunted by ghosts.
Yes, I like that too.
His wife and Jessica.
Yeah, his wife and Jessica.
I think Karen's there, actually.
And then the cops bust him. He holds a girl hostage.
Right.
Yeah.
And then he pushes her back through the doors he runs away.
He didn't want to hurt that girl.
And then he runs into an auditorium where a woman is singing opera?
Yeah.
I mean, it's the college, I guess.
She's doing that in the dental school.
The college I went to the dental school had their own building.
They also had their own fraternity.
Oh really?
Yeah, they were nice.
They gave you beer.
Kappa Kappa tooth?
They were also very old, the dental fraternity.
Uh, I'm glad that you missed my kappa kappa tooth. I just let it slide on by.
And then can 4 a. in Sunshine arrest him? And then he's in like an institution.
Yeah.
I forget, there's something that I was like,
this is dumb, but I don't even remember what happened.
Oh, when his wife shows up to pull his teeth.
Oh, yeah.
That was dumb.
What's my last note on here. Katie and then four exclamation points.
I thought this was a different movie. I really did. I thought it was funny. I didn't know it was so brutal.
And it was kind of funny, wasn't it?
I think Ken 4A was definitely a highlight of this movie.
What about Mark Ruffalo?
Mark Ruffalo?
You were like, oh, this is an early Ruffelow.
I like that he has a sweater around his neck, but it's not tied.
The sleeves are just draped.
I like that.
It's fun thing that Andrew McCarthy might wear.
I love Andrew McCarthy.
Running theme.
Yeah.
Also something that Brian a very mid-90s conceit.
Yeah, yeah, and the death of the yuppie.
Katie.
Alan, you want to rate this bitch?
You know I do, dog?
All right, go first.
Oh, you're going to make me go first?
Yeah, because you're the mad one.
I am going to, in the grand tradition tradition, tradition, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tha, tha, tha, tha in the grand tradition of a movie being so bad that I'm not going to give it a
grade.
Uh-huh.
This is getting four scraped teeth.
Can you get like the sound of a scraper in here?
Is that what you're doing?
But it'll gross me out.
Fair enough.
Yeah, this I did not like.
It's real weird.
It took like turns that I was just like, oh, oh, fuck, what's going on? Yeah. There were definitely funny parts and I felt like this wasn't, this wasn't
Corbyn Burnsin at his best. No, no it's Roger Dorn is Curbin, Burnsen. It's a hard name to say
Corbyn, Burton. It's a hard name to say Corbyn, Burton. Also, would you ever consider that, like, mixing up Corby and Burnsen and Dabney Coleman?
No.
They're very different.
Yeah.
I do mix up Dabney Coleman and the younger.
Oh, shit.
Who played the dad in the Royal Tenan Bombs and Gene Hackman in my younger years? That's fair. They have that same hair line. Yeah, for sure. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, tha. Like, tha. Like, tha. Like, tha. Like, tha. tha. Like, tha. tha. tha. tha. Like, tha. Like, tha. Like, tha. Yeah, I have mixed up Dabney Coleman and Gene Hackman in my younger years. That's fair. They have that same hair line. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, I would, yeah, this is one of the movies and I was like, oh man, we're gonna tell people to watch this, huh? All right, we did that. Yeah, it's on me and I'm sorry. Never apologize. That's not fair. Yeah, it's on me and I'm sorry. Yeah, it's. It's. It's. It's on. It's on. It's on th. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's. It's. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's that. It's that. Yeah. It's that's on me. It's on me. It's on me. Yeah. Yeah. It's on the same. Yeah. It's on the same. Yeah. It's on the same. Yeah. It's on the the same. It's on th. It's on me. It's on me. It's on. It's on fair. Saying on were will fame and it means never having to say, I'm sorry. Oh boy, that is factually incorrect.
What's your rating of this film?
This movie sucks, it's a two.
I feel, I felt bad because I was like, oh, this, this isn't the movie she thought it was.
Yeah, while I was watching it. Yeah, yeah, I, we all make mistakes.
Shit happens, man.
Yeah.
You know what's funny though, they made it again.
Oh, the dentist two.
Oh, the dentist too.
And Corbyn's too.
And Corbyn's in it?
He is.
He is.
He's the star.
Do me to tell you what the plot a mental institution, Dr. Feinstone escapes his incarceration and heads to the small town of Paradise.
He assumes the persona of retired dentist Dr. Kane and is looking forward to starting over.
But when Feinstone falls for his beautiful landlord, Jamie, his insane jealousy drives him to start killing again.
No one in paradise seems to suspect Feinstone until a detective and a victim from his past show up in town. Is it Detective Sunshine?
I'm looking.
I don't know, but there's someone named Mr. Toothache in this movie.
Of course there is.
The cast is largely like red links on Wikipedia to indicate that they do not have a page.
Sure, sure. I think that's the same for the dentist.
Tony Noak says Detective Sunshine, he does not have a page. Oh boy.
Man, Sarah didn't really work either.
No page for her.
Oh, Sarah.
She was fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now that we're done rating this, can we go to a brief but I think very enjoyable mailback.
Please.
D.C. the red on Twitter, said as a tweet that said, I gotta stop listening to
where will family is when I'm drunk because I start to laugh, then I keep
laughing, then I can't stop.
Aw, that's nice. I don't know why you would want to stop doing that.
I don't know why you would have to be kind of drunk to listen to us. Yeah but a lot of people listen to us at work.
You're drinking at work. Yeah. You guys should stop doing that. Whatever. D.C. the Red
huh? Is that some communist chat? I don't know. Oh boy. I wrote back to him drunk and laughter or boaros. That's the snake that's eating its own tale. I I I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the that's that's the that's the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'t know what that means. It goes on forever. Oh I get it. I bet he was like I don't know what that means or she or she.
It's what Scully gets tattooed on her. I know I saw it. I know. Hey Alan. Hey Katie. I know that we've been teasing our EMTs with some big news for a while. Should we just tell them? Yeah yeah I think we should. What do you want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the to the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. I the their. I the the the the te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I yeah, yeah, I think we should. What do you want to tell them?
So every week we come to you live on tape delay from Alan's attic.
And we thought, you guys should look at our faces.
Oh God.
We're doing a live show.
We're doing a live show.
Live show. I was wondering We're doing a live show. Live show. L.S. Live show.
I was wondering how you were spelling live.
L.S.R. show.
What are the details, Alan? Tell them the details.
So on October 5th at the Glitterbox Theater, Melwood Ave in Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh.
Pittsburg. Melwood Ave in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We'll be... Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh.
We're gonna be doing a live show.
Do we want to tell them now what movie we're doing?
I don't know. Let's make them wait.
Let's make them wait.
Fuck them.
Already antagonizing.
Oh my god, I can't wait to say so many things to your faces.
Uh, so tickets are going to go on sale for this on September 1st.
We'll send out a link.
Limited edition. Limited edition tickets.
Get in there while they're hot.
It's intimate is what we're calling it. An intimate night with were will fabulance.
This is the small room so you guys can fill it up and make th th th th th th th bucks, ten, ten dollars. Proceeds benefit us. My favorite charity. The charity of
wearable fabulants. Yeah, so we'll... Look, we bring joy. We bring joy. We are
bringers of mirth and joy. I really think they're gonna say mercy? We are just like, the mercy killing or something, which is not, I'm no, I have no, I have no, I have no, the the their their their their their their their their their their, I have no, I have no, I have no, I have no, I have no, I have no, we their, I have no, we to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to proceeds, to proceeds, to proceeds, to proceeds, to proceeds, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their proceeds, their proceeds, their proceeds, their proceeds, their proceeds, their proceeds, their proceeds, their proceeds, to their proceeds, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to really think you're going to say mercy.
We are just like mercy killing or something, which is not.
I have no expertise in.
I love the leaps that you make as soon as I start something.
Oh, you're going to say bloodbath right now, aren't you?
I think I watched too many crime dramas.
Anyway, October 5th. Doors at 7.30 and then show starts at 8 p.m. promptly.
I am a punctual person. We're doing this on time.
Allen's also very punctual.
We're putting the punk back in punctuality.
I like that a lot.
$10 tickets on sale September 1st. It'll be on event bright, but we'll put the links everywhere. And we will be reminding you incessantly until it happens. Oh, weekly until then.
Also, this little bit that you're hearing here is going to be in every
episode for about the next month, because we are, uh, we're recording this remotely,
and we've recorded well in advance, so fuck you, I guess.
Fast forward if you've already heard it. I don't know. No, there's a new secret thing ever at the end of everyone so listen all the way through
This one is pickle
Werewolves
Yeah, it's gonna be good. It's gonna be fun and we'll have new t-shirts
Mm-hmm. It's a new all-new wherewolf ambulance and yeah and other stuff. So we'll let you know more the. th. th. the th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the theat theat theat. the the the theat. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theat. theat. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat the theat the theat the theat the theat the the the the the the th we'll have new t-shirts. Mm-hmm. By then. It's all new, all-new where-wulf ambulance. And, uh, yeah, and other stuff.
So, uh, we'll let you know more about that as it comes closer.
Yeah.
And we'll see you there.
Right?
Guys?
Guys?
What if it's just us in an empty room? just record another fucking podcast. Yeah, we'll pretend it never happened. We'll do the podcast that we had to pay a lot of money to record.
Oh, wah-wah.
So, since I suggested the dentist and it was a Katie suggestion,
and let's do an Allen suggestion, and then next week after that we'll get back to listeners, what do you got?
Can we get a little dirty, dirty?
I don't know what you mean by that. Could we get a little tarm crews in our life?
Are we doing days of thunder again?
We get a little Brad Pitt in our life?
Are we doing Legends of the Fall again?
Oh, a little, Antonio, Bendarris in our life?
A little, a little, literal Kirsten Dunce in our life.
Are we doing Crazy, Beautiful again?
Or bring it on again?
Bring it on again.
I have so much to say.
No.
We have done Queen of the Damned.
Let's go.
The best vampire movie of all time.
Let's go OG.
And do interview with the vampire.
Oh, we're doing it.
I I I I I I've never seen it. It's on Netflix. If it's free, I've got it.
Yeah.
OK.
OK.
Great.
So we're going to do interview with the vampire.
You're going to hear how much I enjoy this particular movie.
See, you're already spoiling it.
It.
What are you doing?
Thea. Only for the ratings phase. I'm saying it now because I think that you're going to go nuts on this movie and I'm very
excited about it.
Like in a bad way?
No.
Am I going to like it?
I don't know but I think it's going to be fun.
All right, great.
Great.
I am in.
So, thin, leave us a review on iTunes. That would be very sweet of you. That's how people find us. Tell all your friends. They'll find us too. Yeah. Force
them. Trap them down to a chair, like Dr. Allen Feinstone, and just play them the warlock
episode. Anecdotally, I know that you can make at least one other person like this podcast. And if everybody makes one other person like it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tell two friends, and then they tell two friends, and then they tell two friends,
and then they tell two friends.
So you are old enough for that commercial?
No, it's from Wayne's World.
Possi, possibly Wayne's World, too. Yeah. I think Wayne's World, too. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I think. I think. I think. I think think think thi. I think think think think think think think think think think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I thin. I thin. I tell. I tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell for listening to another episode of WhereWFive? I'm sorry.
No.
Bye.
Clear.
Nice. the the end of