Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 219- Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)
Episode Date: March 11, 2019This week we're joined by our pal Dave to talk about a movie of his choosing: the 1957 Roger Corman vehicle "Attach of the Crab Monsters." Special topics for your consideration include: desperately tr...ying to remember what actually happens in this movie, weird birthday plans, a man named Beach Dickerson, the anatomy of crabs, the bizarre choices that form the plot of this film and 13-9 NEVER FORGET. Into very weird movies of the 1950s and 60s? Please enjoy Episode 42- "Spider Baby," Episode 91- "The Last Man on Earth" or Episode 123- "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" or get into a good monster of the era with Episode 125- "Creature from the Black Lagoon." Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. Also, check out another excellent film-based podcast, Cinematically Correct, in which a cute couple talks about movies and argues about weird knowledge they have have about the most random subjects. You can check them out at cinematicallycorrect.libsyn.com or wherever you like to listen to podcasts. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Did you notice that underwater was spelled wrong in the opening credits of this movie?
Because it was.
That's the Roger Corbyn.
It was spelled UNEDR water.
It was spelled UN.N. E.D.R. Water.
It was about the scenes that were filmed in the aquarium.
Now that was in the ocean.
Where you can see the glass?
What are we doing? What are we talking about?
We're doing a guest episode.
I'm Katie. I'm Alan.
We're here with our friend Dave. Hi Dave. Dave. Dave, what have you done? What did you bring us? I love this movie? th? th? th? th? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thooooooooom. It was th th tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the th. the th. the the the th. the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. thi. the the the th. the the th. No, this movie is basically an episode of all in order of that.
It makes about as much since when all is said and done.
What is the movie that we're doing?
We are doing Attack of the Crab Monsters.
Yeah, that's it.
Did you, had you, why do you, where did this come from?
You can't do that well during the dream tree?
These come into my prime video suggestions.
Oh, okay.
Once you watch one, I feel like it's downhill.
Hold on, rewind, I definitely thought you were like when I was six, I saw this movie, had
a sleepover, but you're like no, in my 30s, I knew this movie existed.
No, so like watching Mystery Science Theater 3, thousand growing up. Yeah. They always made fun of these movies. I always loved them, but I thought you weren't supposed to like them.
Oh, yeah.
It was like songs in my running mix, you know, on my phone.
I'm like, you weren't supposed to like it.
And so, but I like, it's a purpose.
Yeah, and I'm like, it's, yeah, people see've watched a bunch of horrible movies from the 50s.
That's like my sweet spot.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't really care.
I don't really care for like the newer horror stuff.
I kind of like the more like the Adams family type of horror movies.
So eventually this thing came up.
Eventually it was like we were out of shit.
Here's the last of the shit. Pretty much, yeah. That's what happened. So this is a, is this our, have we done another Roger Corman movie?
We've done other produced by Chopping Mall was associated with Roger.
He's, he was the producer on. I get him and Lloyd Kauf Kaufman when I see their names.
Oh. And when I first saw his name, I was like, crap.
This is a trauma movie and I got immediately disappointed. I mrs. I mean, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, thi, thus th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thatheat, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. C. C. they. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. the. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. C. C. C. C. C that I make that mistake all the time. I mean, kind of equally scuzzy dudes, but like, yeah, not as gross-o as Lloyd Goffman.
I feel like we've done some other stuff too, but yeah, not a ton.
Not that he's directed.
Yeah, no, we still haven't tackled any of like the Corman Price Poe movies or any of that. Oh boy boy, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, th, thus, not as thus, not as tho, not as tho, not as throman, not as throman, not as thor, not as thor, not as thor, not as tho, not as tho, not as tho, not as tho, not as thr, not as tho, not as tho, not as thso, not as, not as, not as, not as, not as, not as, not as, not as, not as th, not as, not as th, not as th, not as th, not as th, not as thr, not as thr, not as thr, not as thr, not as thr, not as thrown, not as thrown, thro, throoooo.. Yeah, not as thro. Yeah, not as thro. Yeah, not a bit of a slog, aren't they? Oh for sure.
They're sleepy time movies.
Yeah.
They're like Sunday afternoon post lunch just put one of those on, take a little nappy
nap.
Lay in the sun for a while.
Before we get too far into this, I do want to point out that these special effects
for the crab One day, just hold the child up and say all these
crabs will be yours. You can see the wheels at one point when he was in the cave. It was
so great. The choice of putting an eye on, I mean a set of eyes on the crab was a bad
choice I think. Don't blink at the same time? Yeah. I thought when they first came up I thought it was like those boggly eyes you get at the art store. Like
Gritty? Yeah, yeah I thought he had Gritty eyes. He looks a lot like Gritty. Oh my
God. It's Gritty ripping off attack of the crab monsters. Okay so I don't really understand the plot of this movie. Okay. I think maybe initially. I thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th I think maybe initially I first thought it was recon to get the guys
that were missing. Yeah they were going to find but they didn't have any
recon guys. So this is a sense. There were a lot of people there though. But they
were like scientists. The professor was the only one that was a hard ass. Yeah not a believable. Yeah, he was a radio technician. He wasn't even a recon guy. they were was a the the the they was a they was a they was a they was a they was a they was a they was a they. they wasn't. they wasn't. they wasn't. they were they were they were they were they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. there were like U.S. Navy people that had gone missing. They were naval.
Oh yeah, did you see the little white hats?
Yeah, they went missing?
When they went missing, we didn't see them go missing, do you?
No, no, no, but they're like, during the like the four-minute recap when they're walking on the beach.
And they're like, these naval dudes, like US Navy guys, and then two French guys that are vaguely French,
and sometimes they're Cajun?
I thought he was German.
The one guy, the short Thai guy?
I thought he was German, I don't know.
But he was only German sometimes, so it doesn't really matter.
They just became like amorphously European.
Yeah. Their French accents were, oh man. It was like, I felt like, that's where Monty Python and the French Castle.
Got their accents from from this movie, because it was so bad.
I can't even say, I'm calling him the Cajun chef, the old guy.
That they definitely bleached his hair to be in this movie.
Are you talking about Devereaux?
Jules Devere. The man who was shaped like a snowman? Yeah, but with the like little pointy mustache. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was very
good. He was the best in this movie I would say, don't you think? Yeah. I think the
best acting goes to, uh, what was her? Martha? Martha, Hunter? I mean, her eyebrows? Yeah, why were they so far apart?
They were going there.
They were like it was like Kim Novak had exploded on her face.
They were just reference everyone gets these days.
Everyone loves Kim Novak movies.
Um, so to the grandfaws. Her character was named honey.
Hea. that guy was just like honey., honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, I see the
only one who brought his girlfriend along.
I don't know.
She's a horticulturist, I don't remember.
They do a real quick intro of everybody where they're like, this guy does this, and
this and this guy does thisthat and I was like, ah, fuck it. Why were they there? Again, I've watched it seven times and I don't know.
No.
So why were they there?
They were looking for the Navy guys.
Why didn't the Navy just look for them?
And why did the Navy just?
I thought they were the Navy.
Yeah, I was old Navy uniform right? I guess they were all like government. Okay. That was in finger quotes. Okay. Why did those Navy guys have to sleep outside if there was a house?
I think they were at post. Oh, I don't know what that means. You don't want to bring Navy guys into the house. They're just, oh, they just smell like the sea. It's terrible. They're playing cards all day. Yeah, it was a really. the the the the the the the the they. they. the they. the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. really small tent. I like when they're on, unpacking all the dynamite and just bringing into the living room.
I like when they, at one point he's like, oh, we got the wrong box and he picked up the box.
And it says, dynamite, right on the side of it. How did you miss that, sirs?
I also liked when they were just like coming up to the coast and the guy th g g like 40 feet deep. That was the best part. I was like a running gag to the whole
movie. They'd walk off the beach like into the water and then immediately they
would dive in to 30 feet of water. I don't think that was a running gag. I I think that was a mistake. I struggle with that for a lot of this movie too and I th I th I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't th th th th the th th the the the the the the I don't know the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the they they they they they. I don't they they they they. I don't they they they they their their their the I got to the end I was like I don't think it was. Oh no no no no no no no no.
There was an email exchange between the three of us today.
Yeah.
And both Katie and I said that this movie was like a fever dream and I had like I was
trying to recall this movie and I was just like I'm losing it. It's like when you wake up and you're like, oh, that dream was amazing.
And then I was on a roller coaster with a lobster.
No, I, oh, god damn, it's going away.
Yeah, I don't know what happened in it.
So, it turns out that the first mission was taken out by crab monsters.
Oh my god, I just remember that they were talking through the crabs. No, no, they talked through metal. What?
Well, the crabs talk through metal actually.
And if he picked up the crabs started talking
in the French accent, that was, yeah.
Every time they absorb somebody
by eating their brains, their brain eating crabs,
oh, which when the guy first fallsthree feet of water, he gets decapitated, there's an immediate decapitation.
I was like, you know, this movie just came out of the gates running.
That was good, I like that a lot.
But so, yeah, the crabs absorb people into their crabness
and they all become part of the crab-
Did you try to follow the signs?
All the end of the movie, the professor from Gilligan's Island is trying to explain to them the science of it.
Oh. Why would he know that being the non-scientist of the group?
He was the professor. He went on to a long career as being the professor.
As being stuck on islands and being like, fuck. So wait, why were they talking through metal though? That was never discussed. thi. that that was, th, that, that, that, thaten, thaten, that. that, that, that, that, thi. thi. that, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. was, I don't agree with the science of it.
So I watched this movie with my partner, Missy, and then friends of the podcast, Jim and Sarah.
Oh.
And I missed a lot of it because we were laughing so god-dame-hearted how ridiculous this movie is.
Yeah.
But yeah, so the crabs absorb people's brains.
Are their essences, maybe,
and they could all go, like a bunch of people
could go into one crab body.
And then they talk through metal.
They can transmit their thoughts through metal.
And I love that, because the professor is just a fucking lung hit.
Yeah. And every time they start talking through metal, he smashes the metal thing with the talking through, like that's gonna destroy metal?
And I was like, oh man, this guy.
Was there more than one crab?
Or was there just the one?
There was at least two.
Yeah, because the one was pregnant.
Yeah, because the in the cave and they're sneaking up on the one that was pregnant you could hear it snoring I don't know whose decision that was but yeah
oh shit because it was sleeping that's how you know that's how you know
could you tell it was sweet well there was also a thought bubble where it was
sawing wood oh man oh man this movie also does something that I really like of the time I don't if it's of the time Oh man.
This movie also does something that I really like of the time.
I don't know if it's of the time or Roger Corman thing or what,
but where like something happens, they have to show every single person's face reacting to it,
but they all have the same reaction, which I like a lot.
Oh, you gotta pad the fuck out of this movie.
It was 63 minutes.
At one point though, they went, to everybody twice. They were like well all these people have died. I feel like they did that every time there was an earthquake, aka shake the
camera, some people react to it, some people don't. Yeah that was you could say
there was like two people that are falling the fuck out and everybody else like they never had a discussion like listen. They they today thi thi thi thii thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha the their tha the the the the that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they tha tha tha tha tha thauuu-a' tha-a' tha-a' tha-a'a'a'a'a'a' tha'a'a'a' they they they they they they they they they did it once and didn't do it again. No, one and done. They had
this island for 33 hours and had to get on an office. Oh my god. Oh man, I do have the
note here. I just, the reason I said 33's because I looked at the age of the
professor from Gilligan's Island. How old do you think he was when they filmed this movie? 33? He was 33. He was 34 years. I was like 54 years. th. I I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. old. I was going to say, yeah, like 40s. Yeah.
So wait, when was Gilligan's Island then?
60, like mid-60s, early?
Sure.
Yeah.
It's like 10 years later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was very hunky in Gilligan's Island, in my opinion.
Is that like little Katie remembering him?
No, that's now Katie. I've seen a rerun of Gilligan's Island in a not so distant past.
I wanted to say the not so distant future, but that's not right.
So a 50-foot deep pit appears in 20 minutes, according to our heroes.
Already with a lot of erosion and grass grown out of it.
And someone falls in the pit, I guess, a guy that I don't know, because there are just a lot
of middle-aged white men in this movie that all kind of look the same, and I think they were doing the accents to try to
differentiate them, but it like, like, the, this guy that fell in the pit looked just
like the professor, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. I, like at any point in the movie, any time they showed him, he always had a neckerchief one.
Yeah, man, very sweaty neck.
Oh, he was a, her suit individual.
Holy shit, Beach, Dickerson was in this movie.
Who was beach tickerson?
Whoa.
Seaman Ron Fellows, of the crab was there until it was like right on top of them. He had to have known he made the crab.
He should have known.
They should have known.
Also it just sounded like it was someone was making microwave popcorn every time.
I love that.
Yeah, I don't know.
Every times.
I thought it sounded like, I thought it sounded like. I just realized is they killed the naval guys and they talk through the metal for like a minute
and then they are just forgotten about.
Like nobody cares about, and they never speak again and nobody cares about them again, yeah.
And he only goes with whoever the recent kill is too, he never goes back to one of the old
voices.
You're right.
I got Ricky back here, he's got to come up and say a few words. And when they find like the block of like glass sand or something and you're like,
oh that's gonna be a thing.
Like, they're like, they pick up this block of something, it looks like a bar of soap.
Yeah.
And they're like, this is like a block of Jimmy Jam and that's kind of a weird thing.
And I'm like, yeah, it's kind of a weird thing.
Never comes back. Did you see whenever they crawled down into the hole on the rope, what the rope was tied to?
No.
It was just tied to a pickaxe with the handle in the ground.
Why?
Oh, the tensile strength of that pickax.
Jules climbs it later, which I had to believe that man could not climb a 50-foot rope.
No way.
Especially attached to a pickax. You just just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, t, t, tap, tap, the, the, the, the, the, the, is. tape, is. tap, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. t, is. t, is. t, is. to, is. to, is. to, is. to, is. to, is. to, is. to, is. to, is. tie. tie. It. tie. tie. tie. It's. It's. tie. tie. tie. togs. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. t. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tied. tied. tog. tog and then he's up at the top? And they also outvoted him on the rope climb and he was like, no, just go up the rope.
There's no other way to go, but that has to be like the slowest way to get out of there.
That German guy, I assume German guy, acted like he knew everything and I don't think he knew like, well obviously it has to be like, there's only only, the only, the, the, the, there, the, there, the, there, the, there, the, the, there, there, there, there, there, like, there, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, there, there, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, they..... There, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, th. And, there's, there's, there's, th. And, there's like, they. There's no, like, but there are like a lot of other explanations. Give you two. Uh-uh.
Giant crab.
Did you like it when the crab roared?
Yeah, they do that, dumb they're like, yeah, at the end.
It's so tum.
It's like, well, when he's like, they're afraid of electricity.
That's got to be it.
But, why is electricity? He figured, well, well, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they's, they, they, they, they, they's, they's, they, they, they, they, they's, they's, they're, they're like, they're, they're like, th. th. th. th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're like, like, like, like, like, they're like, they're like, they're like,? They're made of like radiation, right? So why is electricity? Because remember when he got that big crab claw?
Yeah.
And he zapped it and immediately turned to ash.
That's right.
And then he said-
I don't know how he figured that out other than radio.
Then he sets up that electricity trap that ends up killing him.
Like you, see, you built it, you built a land in the the the a landmine down and I'm like I forgot my coffee did you like that the
crab ate the mice for just like no reason I wish it had been like they'd
picked up like a fork or something and it was like ktkkkkkk stak
because why doesn't don't we hear the mouse thousand I've got another Frenchman inside of me I'm a mouse how'd you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to to to you to to you to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to the to to to to the the th the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the th the the the the the th th th the th th th th th the to took took took took took took took took took took took took took took to took to took took took to took to the to the the mouse's thoughts. I've got another Frenchman inside of me I'm a mouse.
How did you feel about Martha Hunter's popped collars? It was when she was working.
It was when she was not working she wasn't wearing it.
Oh so that was like her like you know that was her over the top turn the baseball cab around.
She reminded me of like later age Judy Garland. Oh like the hair and then the collar up. Yeah I could see that but like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th. th. th. th like like like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like the to be like the the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I their their their then the collar up. Yeah I could see that but like like I don't like to
be mean about people's appearances but like sometimes she looked beautiful and
sometimes you were like, you know what? It was the eyebrows. It was the eyebrows.
Just certain angles you could just like couldn't look at her
at her from. There was a large part of this movie where one half of her face was super shocked because the one eyebrow was way up higher than the other one. But there was weird tension between her and the professor
right towards the end? Oh yeah they were gonna bone down. I don't know where.
And then I was like, wait is she not with that guy that's been calling her honey
the whole time? Because that's super gross but she is. And she's like yeah years older than you. And also whenever at the end, spoiler alert, whenever professor pulls the electrical tower?
Did it make it, and it might have just maybe, did it make it seem like he was doing that because he couldn't be with her?
I don't know.
I got a weird vibe like he was like, they said something and I can't remember what it was.
It was about, you know, you can't be with the one you, I don't know, some weird thing.
And then he did that.
You can't be with the one you want, electrocute yourself.
Yeah, I think that's the way it works.
All the songs.
Sacrificed yourself for them and their loved one.
Oh, it didn't seem like, he sacrificed himself, credits! Like, yeah. Before that, they were like, they were, it fell down, he sacrificed himself, and then
they rub their faces all together.
They're like, I've never reacted to tragedy that way.
Tell you make out the tragedy situation.
I just noticed looking at the credits that David Arvidon was the voice of Hulaar, the giant crab. Hular!
And it was Hular!
Hular!
I got you all in check.
Hular!
Oh my god.
Oh, man, peach stickers.
Also, in the meantime, the island is trin.
We haven't mentioned that.
The island is consistently getting smaller.
Yeah, it's crumbling. Why?
I thought because the crabs were making it smaller so they could eat people.
Yeah.
Hows?
Hows?
How?
Where is it?
Because at one point they wake up and they're like, there used to be a mountain there?
Remember that beach used to go on?
Yeah, half a city block.
Yeah, crab signs. Yeah, well where was it going? Just falling into the ocean. How are the crabs doing that? Crab style.
Yeah, crab signs.
Yeah.
Crabbs science.
Which doesn't even call crab science.
You see crap.
A little hard hat between his two eyeballs.
And so behind the ear.
We also forgot to mention that this movie takes place three years after Godzilla. And this is also like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, th. thoom, yeah, yeah, thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, th. th. th. th. th. We. We. We th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. t. t. t t together, together, t together, together, together, th. tho. tho. the. th. th. this movie takes place three years after Godzilla and this is also like
in the beginning of they're like oh by the way we drop some nuclear bombs
like right off the shore of the silent and that's why there's giant nightmare
craps and giant earthworms why doesn't that ever come back up yes where
where were those were like what were they doing with the worm skin that was in like the fifth that was in the second hour that was that was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was in the the that was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the second hour, the movie they had to cut. It was a double feature with something else.
Earthworm gem?
Yeah.
Hula, yeah, Wikipedia page consistently refers to the crab as hulaar.
Yet the movie never does.
Why don't even name the crab if you don't use it in the movie?
I don't know.
Just to give everyone that back text, that flavor of what's going on.
Okay so in the scene, so in the scene, so in the scene, so in the scene, so in the scene, so in the scene, the the the the the the the the what's going on. Okay, so in this scene, when we go up against Hular. Wait, Hular gets to the mainland?
What?
Hulor is the mainland?
Hular vows to go to the mainland with her first
on stakes.
I don't remember her saying that.
I don't remember.
Yeah, because he said he's gonna attack the world of man. Oh, maybe I that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to too. too. toooolor is. toooooooooooo. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that's what you're saying though, like, when I hear it again, it sounds familiar. I watched this like less than 24 hours ago. So it's
like two other people know your dream and are recounting it to you. I'm like, wow,
you're right. And then you were with your third grade teacher? You want to see a wreck? Look at my back. Oh, Jules. I loved how like crabby he was.
He was just always kind of like mildly pissed off.
Well he loses a hand which is pretty good.
It's a pretty good to amputation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he's like laying in bed and hears the guy who fell into the pit.
And he's like, or no, maybe he hears the Navy guys saying that they found the guy the guy's telling the pit. And he's like, all right and like gets out of bed
and stumbles out like stay in the fucking bed. I don't why are you doing this?
Oh my god it was so fucking funny. I can't remember how he dies.
Does he fall in the pit no? Jules? I don't think we ever see him die? I think we see him walk out and that's the end of him. I like how they... And then he's talking through the crab battle. Yeah. Being very raunchy. I like at the one point,
they stopped worrying about the crab and everybody dying and they go searching the oil. Did you see that?
Why? Yes, I did see it Dave. What did the oil have to do with anything? I don't know but the oil doesn't go that way like they were each falling a trail of oil and the oil was going like uphill and downhill. That's right
they did climb uphill. Yeah that's I don't know why. I don't think anti-gravational
oil is a thing that happens on the... Maybe on a crab island. Yeah maybe. So like the bad guys in this movie are radiation, radiation earthquakes, crabs, the tha's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th they they th the, the, the, the, the, the, they the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that's right, that's right, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the, the, the, the, the, the, the the that the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the the the, the, metal. No the crabs are necessarily the bad guys.
Remember, just land crabs.
They say land crabs like 57 times before we see
Hular show up with Hular's friend.
Is there such a thing as a land crab that is not a water crab?
Uh, there's sandcrabs.
There's land shark.
I do like that beer.
I have mentioned that before.
Oh yeah, Dr. James Buffett comes up a lot on here.
Dr. James Buffett, this probably spurred his whole career.
Okay, wait.
The oil?
Why the oil?
Why?
But he even says, like, are you sure we should be doing this?
He's like, yeah, I think we've got time for this.
Yeah, we that's right.
So. So. So. I got this oil lead I got. They just split up too. They're like, well, let's go separate ways.
There's literally a giant crab that you just saw.
You know it's there.
They knew that they had 43 minutes worth of movie written down
and they had to thudge it to that hour and three spot.
Hmm.
Hmm. Because the, the, when they initially hear the typewriter clacking microwave popcorn sound,
they're like, what is that? What's going on? What is it? And they go outside, it's just a wire going across like the siding?
Oh yeah, what was that? That must have been it.
Yeah, they're like, ah, stupid wire. Clickety, clack, clack, like, cli, cla, cli, cli. And they's, and cli, and cli, and cli, and cli, and cli, and cli, and cli, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and the, and the, and the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. And, and. And, and the. And, and the. And, and the. And, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and the. And, and they, and the. And, and the. And, and they, and the. And, and the. And, and the. And is attacking the building and just throwing stuff? Oh, yeah, why'd it trash their house?
Because he was trying to cut off their communication.
But I think he had to bring the baby crabs with him, because they talked about, he had
like, his precision in cutting the stuff that he needed to cut.
Oh, that's right.
That's right. So he had to buy to b brought to b brought that house being ripped apart until he opened the door?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It just like opens the door and then like comes right back in, which I really liked a lot.
Oh, man.
I also felt like this movie Roger Corman saw a creature from the Black Lagoon and was like,
swimming underwater.
So her bathing suit changes at least three times during that
one swim scene? Yeah. I thought she had like a full body suit. She had a full wets suit.
She had a full wetsuit. She comes in and she has like a bikini on. And she comes in and she has
a skirt bikini on. Oh I didn't even see the skirt bikini. Wow. Is that how you scuba dive? I always thought you had like full body? I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho thu- tho- thoom- thoom- thoom- thoom-a tho-a tho-a th. I had a full like a full like a full th. I had a full th. I had a full th. I had a full th. I had a full th. I had a full th. I had a full th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu ss thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thu. I th. She tank in shorts, yeah. Really? Why would you, though? It's hot.
What's hot?
Hot under that water?
I would presume that the ocean is cold.
Not if you're down on like the Caribbean.
The ocean never gets hot, though.
It's like bathing.
I wouldn't want all the fish touch me.
That's why I would not belong on. in my boxer shorts and a fish went in the front door and flapped it and ran away. Oh man. It was terrifying.
Was it hot though in your in your river that you were swimming in?
Yeah, it was hot in the river.
You're hot in the river.
You're hot.
I mean it was, especially after the fish in the ocean, it was a different kind of fun.
I really liked those shots because there were somewhere you could actually. You the the the the the the the the the the th. You could actually th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. that, the. theat, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was hot in th. It was hot in th. It was hot in th. It was hot th. It was hot th. It was hot th. It was hot th. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot. It was hot, the. It was hot, the. the. the. the the. the the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. It every fish in the ocean showed up. Yeah, it was really nice.
I felt like they should have had like a treasure chest that was like opening and closing
with like another scuba diver getting into it.
One of those old school scuba divers, the bows coming out of his.
Oh, man. Yeah, I couldn't like, I was definitely freaking out.
I was like, she had on a full wet suit when she went into the water and now she's just,
it's like, that was made out of paper
and it just melted as soon as she hit the water.
Yeah, I had to rewind it last night,
because I watched it last night before I came in
and I was like, shunding it, and I did like scuba to scuba. That was her boyfriend or whatever and I was like this fucking guy like
it's just everything is inexplicable. It really is. It's like almost an improv movie. Yeah. It might have been.
Oh man. Why did they have all that dynamite in the first place? What were they going to explode with it?
I am, yeah, dumb.
Because both those, both the seamen were explosives experts.
Were they?
They were smoking right next to just boxes of dynamite, sir.
That was the thing that one guy was like, oh, I'm pretty freaked up by anything.
You thin gurges. with this thing and he's like, hey, you never get freaked by anything. Jimmy, you love juggling grenades. He's like, juggling grenadesates.
And I was like, what is going on right now?
So he's a moron.
He's what you're telling me.
And then they're playing poker with dynamite.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's all you win.
But like, OK, so the guy who got killed to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the,that because no one else like reacts to it. No one else is like oh fuck what ate his head or did they just keep it a secret? They didn't seem
too worried about it. Like if I was going on an island and somebody went under
and got their head cut off I'd be pretty faked out. I mean like a foot from
the shore. But 40 feet towar. Yes. Well as you know. The ocean is fucking terrified. That I do know. I know very few things and that is one of them. That and Beach Dickerson did the crab monster
effects. Beach Dickerson. Man what a guy. A lot and nothing happens in the one hour
and three minutes of this movie. But they still left all the baby crabs.
Like they only killed the big crab. Sure but the baby crabs weren't an issue. I think those were are th are just th are just th are just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus the very very very very very just the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that is that is th th th th. That's th. That's their they. That is they. they they they they they they they th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they the they. I the the they. the theat theeat. the theat theeat. theeat the. the. the. the th. Like they only killed the big crab. Sure, but the baby crabs weren't an issue. I think those were just regular size crabs. I think
those were just like babies were gonna grow up and to be. Yeah, you can't just be a
radioactive crab and then just like birth a regular baby. Oh I'm sorry, do you
know all the rules of the radioactive crab? Crabbs. Crab science. Well according to Wikipedia. the hope this is on the radioactive crab page
Who are vows to go to the mainland with their fertilized eggs when the island is gone
To feed upon even more people absorbing those minds in the process, so I have to believe that the fertilized eggs means like they're gonna do this too, right?
Who named who? Who named who? Who named who? Well, I think? the fular name? Oh, the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is is is their is their is their is their is their is. their is. their is. their is. their is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. their their their their their their their their their their their think. No, did Hular name, in the fiction of the movie.
Oh, I see.
Did Hular name herself?
Do you think there was like a cut line where she was like, I am Hular?
I like that. I like the name Hular. I will call myself Hular.
I'm Hulah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. So this was a double feature with another Corman movie called Not of This Earth.
Have you either seen that?
I have not seen that one now.
That seems like it would be up your alley.
It does.
And this movie was very financially successful for Corman.
It did really well.
He attributed that to the main attack of the crab people.
Like, that's a name people are gonna want to go see.
The storyline concerns the attempts by an extraterrestrial humanoid
to surreptitiously secure the blood of humans and detested on himself as treatment for a fatal blood disorder,
which is ravaging the population of his home planet.
Oh, this is not of this earth.
I was like, whoa, crab monster! Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm just telling you for your future reference, this is for you.
It's going to be real good.
And you can watch Crab Monster again right afterwards.
Yeah.
For the eighth time.
For the eight.
You'll have a full work day of watching Crab.
Also the opening credits, beautiful animated opening credits, only tentacles attacking things,
not a single fucking crab.
Yeah, crabs are a tough cell, you know, for grabbing things.
It looked like the mountain in Whoville, the animation in the beginning part. That's why I first
thought it was. Okay. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, they're a tough sale if you haven't boiled
them and then stuck them in butter for me the their, I wish they've just been a pool of melted butter in this movie.
That's how they did the crabs.
They're just like, clarified butter, clarified butter.
Yeah. Would you eat a crab? They're not like cute or nice.
Uh, I have eaten them in the past. It's a lot of work for no. Yeah.
Yeah, it is a lot of work.
They have their lungs or whatever those frilly gilly things are on the inside too.
Yeah.
I don't, I think I only ever eat crab legs.
Just, okay, just amputate them for me.
I don't want to pretend is a vehicle for butter. Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I feel like shrimp is more bag for your buck for your butter diptipps.
Shrimp's a hit or miss for me.
I don't know why we're having this conversation.
I guess this movie is only an hour and three minutes.
I'm straight out of notes.
I do have notes to just say things like how did he miss that? He was looking right at it
throwing a rock at a crab and missing. I think all of these are about the professor who despite being like the most competent person on the island was extremely incompetent.
But they're just walking down the beach and he picks up a rock and wings and at a crab. They're like, what are you doing?
Guy, don't.
I have the note in your dick move.
You're wondering what that was actually related to you.
Yeah, that's what it was.
And he's like, what?
What?
Just a fucking crab?
He doesn't out that three of them are biologists.
Are they?
Allegedly.
Uh, Jules is a biologist.
I thought he was just there for, like, to hang out.
I didn't think he had any purpose.
He's got.
He's, what?
Mr. Moshnik?
And, uh, what's the movie?
I can't think of it now?
Oh, a little shoppahahah've never seen that in my life.
It's not the Rick Moranis one.
Right, the original, the Roger Corman one.
Yeah.
Yeah, Mushnick.
He's Mr. Mushnick.
And he named himself Mel Wels.
And he named himself going to give myself a name, it's not going to rhyme. Nope, sure not. Is it gonna be Hular?
Now it will be.
Yeah, my name is Hular Wells.
No, not Katie anymore.
He was, his birth name was Ira W. Melcher, so.
That's a pretty good name too.
Yeah, I like that better than Mel Wells.
Good Pennsylvania. thi to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thooo. tha. tho. tha. tha, tha' tha' tha' tha' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. toee. toea. toea. Who. toea. Who. Who. Who's toea. Who's thooooooooooo. Who. Who's tha. tha. W. Good Pennsylvania guy. Is everybody from Pennsylvania?
Did you see he went to Penn State, hailed a pit, and heiled a pit?
He got his master's degree at 13 to 9, West Virginia.
139, never forget.
I'm so glad we can bring up pit football on this podcast again.
Allen is so happy.
Yeah.
139.
Yeah.
It was one of the greatest days of my life. It was like my wedding day, my daughter
being born, 139. Yep. Fuck you, West Virginia. It was great. To me. Yeah, so that's where he went.
So he has terrible taste in schools. Yes. I'm a, I'm going to West Virginia for my birthday. Are you going to go to WVU? No, I'm going to go to Morgantown, thi. the to go the to go to go see the to go see the too and too and the the too going to go to Morgantown and go see the Don Knot statue that they have to me.
Yes, and you can ride the monorail because they have a fucking monorail.
No, they do?
They do. Yeah.
Oh, nice. I was looking for other stuff to do besides the Don Knot statues.
That's good to know.
Well, you'll be in, Morgantown. I don't want to do that. You tell me Beach Dickerson's there though.
He is dead, I looked it up.
The Beach Dickerson statue though.
That's going to be in like Des Moines, I feel.
I feel like four by forty-fifth birthday going to see a Don Knot statue is just too perfect.
It's too spot on.
It's very on brand for you.
Oh, do you think he's the funniest the funniest the funniest the funniest is the funniest is think he's the funniest man that ever lived.
Yeah, I know. It's sad.
I mean, we all have opinions.
I have ghost and Mr. Chicken on my DVR right now.
Oh, it's so good. I love that movie so much.
I don't think I've ever seen a Don Knaud's vehicle, to be honest.
I can learn of my box set. I don't want to take th th th th th to th th to to th to to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi tho tho the the the thi's thi's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho to be to be to be to be to be thi to be to be the the thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. theanan you. I can lend you my box set. I don't want to take that out of your hot little hands. You've never seen the Mr. Limpfit?
The what?
Mr. Limpot where he turns into a fish and helps the Navy win the war?
What war?
Oh, he would have been a great help in this movie against the grand people.
I assume they went underwater at some th I don't even, I feel like you're just speaking another language.
You feel like you're going as crazy as this movie made me feel.
Yes.
When we were watching this movie, Sarah was like, what's happening?
I'm just like, I don't know.
I have no idea what's happening right now.
I kept being like, who's that?
Who's that? just talk or speak to you psychically?
Why would they talk through metal?
What was their goal?
Total world domination, obviously.
Yeah.
But why?
Radiation?
So the radiation made them crazy and big and able to absorb people's brains.
And gave them eyes. And give them stupid looking eyes.
There were like some HR puff and stuff level bullshit eyes.
Like, there's a one point where like the crab gets shocked
and only one of its eyelids goes up.
Yeah.
It just looks, I think to discuss how shitty the crabs look would be, it's doing them a disservice to try to describe them with words. They have like like their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their their their their their their their like their their their like their like their like their like their like their like their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. I. I. I they. I they. I they. I they. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I how shitty the crabs look would be. It's doing them a disservice to try to describe them with words.
They have eyelids.
Yeah, you have to look at them.
The eyelids are just fabric, though.
But why would a crustacean just stuck onto its body
then have a little blip of flesh?
It also had teeth though.
It had like people. It was like, it was like, thi. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. It's. It's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just just just. I. the. I. I. I. I. I. It's like. I. It's just just just, it was like, oh no. Yeah, it looked real derpy.
Ah, God, I hope I can find a picture of that two post on our social media.
Do you think Beach Dickerson like showed up in the pickup truck that had the two crabs in it?
They like drove up on set. And Roger Corne was like, fuck.
No, I don't think that. I knew I wanted wanted to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the movie the movie think that. I knew I wanted to do this movie for $150.
This is our whole special effects budget.
That and the decapitation.
Cut the earthworm scene, guys.
Cut the earth.
I think Roger Cormon is probably like, yes, let's do it.
I have two more movies to film here today. What a maniac., the one, the one crab is McLean.
He's one of the survivors, or one of the people who died in the initial, like loss of the naval life.
He's the one who's been writing in this diary that just ends and they're like, he wouldn't have just ended on a page.
Yeah, right.
They see his name like a thousand times at the beginning of the movie. They do.
Oh man.
Isn't that a movie though, McLean?
Well, I don't know.
Is it a Roger Corman movie?
No, but they always say it in Mystery Science Due to 3,000.
There's like one episode.
I don't know what it is, because I'm also saying it out loud. Why am I doing that?
I feel like this movie's really making you question yourself a lot. Yeah. Um. Well, what the hell else? I mean, do we go ahead and rate this thing? Oh? Oh, man. I don't even know how? Well, what the th- Well, what the the the the the the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What's? What's? What's? What's? I? I? I? I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I'm? I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I thi. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I'm th. this thing? Oh, man.
I don't even know how.
Dave, do you have any other thoughts on this move before we move on to the ratings?
Nope.
It's already gone on longer than the actual movie?
Yeah.
And do you, would you recommend movies to people that are better than this one that
are from your era of preferred movie? No. Okay. This is this is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, tho, tho, do tho, do tho, do tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. D. Do, th. D. D. D. D. Do, th. D. D. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, that, that, that, that, that, that, to that, to to that, that, to to tho. thoo. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. Okay. This is the entry point. This is it.
Yep.
If you can hang with the tack of the crab monsters.
Yeah.
I mean, that's fair.
That's fair.
I mean, I do like a lot of hammer movies, but this is pretty much.
Yeah.
Yeah, those are at least mostly in color.
Katie. I want to ask a question. Please. The remaining scientists finally discover that both giant crabs are the cause of the ongoing
earthquakes and landslides on the island.
Do we discover that?
Yeah, that's how I knew that they were destroying the island.
Yeah.
How?
I'm sorry that this is upsetting me so much.
I feel like it was like a thing that happened off screen and they're like, and they're like, they're like, they're destroying the island. Okay. Of course the crabs are doing it. Why wouldn't they be? And the crabs are like,
I stole your socks, fuck you, crab.
Yeah.
Also, whenever they were climbing,
like as the island was coming down,
they had to keep climbing higher.
Oh yeah!
They would do these real weird camera angles
to make it seem like they're on top down the beach. Yeah. Why did they do it? Why did they do any of this?
Oh man.
And this was a success.
Yeah, I think it made like a million dollars or something, which is surprising.
I mean, is that a million dollars that era of money?
You know what I mean?
I can't remember where I read that.
It's on Wikipedia. It's on Wikipedia, it says the box office was $1 million. What would that be? In today's dollars, Katie, do the money calculator business thing.
Nine million, $17,656.06 and six cents.
So pretty much with the last Avengers movie pulled in?
Really?
No, I mean, I have no idea.
I feel like a nine million dollar movie is very successful, probably.
Yeah, especially since $70,000 on it.
That is a good turnaround in your investment.
Yeah.
All right, let's rate it.
I mean, I have nothing else to say.
I'm so confused, and I feel more confused now than when we started talking about it.
I'm talking to you through metal.
Do you want to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go toing to you through metal. Do you want to go to the ratings phase? I've been eaten by a giant crap. Sorry guys. Wait, I have another question. When, so when the
voices were talking, was it like the consciousness of the person? Like, was Jules aware that
he was talking to them? Is this like a super hell for people? You know what I mean? It had all of Jules. the the the consciousness the the their their their their th. Was like like like like like th. Was like j- like j-I th. Was like j-I th. Was like j-I th. Was like j-uels. Was like j-uels. Was like j-uels? Was like j-uels. Was th. Was, was j-uels. Was J-uels? Was th. Was th. Was j-uels? Was J-uels? Was J-uels? Was J-uels? Was j-uels? Was j-uels? Was j-uels. Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was? Was. Was. Was? Was. Was? Was? Was? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes. Was. Was. Was? Yes. Was? Yes. Was? Yes. Was? Yes. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was the they. Was they. Was the the the the the the th. Was the th. Was th. Was th. Was I- It had all of Jules's memories. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He was like talking about like being with women and stuff like that.
What?
Yes, yes, he's like talking about like, he's being very cheeky.
Cheeky.
Yeah, I don't know.
I would touch their butts.
Yeah, and it's like, Dog, you're a giant crab now. Now he can pinch their butts. Nobody wants that.
All right.
No one does want that.
No one.
Yeah, I couldn't figure out if they're like, by eating the brain,
you just had all the memories of the person or if they're so-
That's so embarrassing though.
That's like towards my pants when I had the flu last year. Shoot it in the bathtub. It was terrible.
Yeah, and that crab had no filters,
so he would call everything you ever did.
The crab was vindictive.
He was such an asshole.
Yeah.
You murdered your father.
Ha ha.
That's what you masturbate to?
Oh, God.
Crabs science.
Dave, you want to go first?
Yeah Dave, you have to, this is your fault.
Sure.
I will go, this is, yeah, this is like a warm slippers.
It's like, I watch it.
It's clarified butter.
It's so comfortable.
I love these movies.
Yeah, I'm going to go seven.
Seven.
So that's like seven of all movies, not just... Yeah, I'm gonna go seven. Seven. Wow!
So that's like seven of all movies, not just.
Wait, Citizen Kane exists in this world.
You just rate them just for horror movies?
No, we have no system.
It means nothing.
So yeah, I'm gonna go seven.
We rate them just for the movie we saw that week.
Nothing else is it.
I mean, you do give Childs Play 2 at 10.
It's a fucking fantastic movie.
New Childs Play movie coming out.
Is there?
Oh, see?
Yeah, it's stupid.
Yeah, it's stupid.
Yeah, it's a robot.
See, I don't think I saw anything after Child's Play 2.
I didn't see any the bride. Childs play the child the child the child the child the child the child the child the child th play thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia th. th. thia thia thi. th. to to to to th. to to to to to to to thi. the childs play to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. too. to to to pinnacle. It's got to be downhill from there. None of the Jennifer Tully. The TV show now, too.
Really?
The TV show, I think, is going to be closer to the actual movie.
OK.
No crabs, though.
No crabs.
No, it's more canonical.
Yeah.
I care about the best part of it is the terrible. It's really bad. It's really bad.
The best part of it is its duration.
Oh yeah.
I got so excited.
Yeah.
So, as I said, I watched this with a bunch of folks.
And then Sarah and Jim were driving back home the next day and I was getting texts from
Sarah all day like, I love that movie.
Did she?
Did she?
Did she?
They had a lot of questions and thoughts about it.
So I feel like that's really coloring, like,
like, I think watching it with a bunch of other people really helped.
Sure.
Because it was fucking ex-
especially since it was an hour and three minutes long.
And Jim must sell you out here. Jim. It was the end of a long weekend. Jim can recommend that we do howling two of your sisters a werewolf and then fall asleep
during the Tag of the Crab Monsters.
I just think that's inappropriate.
That's all.
There's no verification that he did not fall asleep to remember too.
He must have.
He must have, because we make a seven.
But just for to cheer joy I'm going give it the, you're not really gonna go wrong. It's true, it's true. We do make a seven.
We make a seven.
Fine.
Ah.
Hey, do we have a sponsor this week?
Yes, we do, Katie.
Would you like to hear them talk about their podcast?
I think they're the best people to tell us.
In a world where people argue, Top My Announce Voice is our promo. Nobody wants to hear your announcer voice. What's wrong with my announcer voice?
Everything is wrong with your announcer voice.
A promo is supposed to be talking about what we do on the podcast, not whatever that was.
Okay, so what do we do on the podcast then?
We are a podcast about movies.
I'm Shay.
I'm Tyler.
And this is Cinematically Correct. New episodes every Wednesday. Find us on iTunes Stitcher. Wherever you get your podcasts.
Every week, we swap movie choices.
From obscure movies to popular films,
nothing is safe from our heart takes.
We've even been known to destroy a childhood classic or two.
Reach out to us on Instagram Twitter,
at Cinematically C.
So you need to listen to us every Wednesday so you can decide if you are hashtag team Shea
or hashtag blame Tyler.
Wait, those are the same.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You have to get them more than one choice.
I gave them two choices.
It's not, it's the same choice.
They're different.
That they're not the same. or anything? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Do you have any other podcast that you like, like marveling at Marvel's Marvel?
Boo?
Bo? Aren't you guys more popular than us now? I don't even want to.
I don't even want to. You can't. You have to start plugging that.
Oh, I do it all the time. Oh, I do you really?
Oh, yeah. I don you should stop doing that. It's all right. We also get a lot of shit for talking shit on conservatives. Anyway, do you, people, oh no.
You know what's nice?
We have never gotten shit on this show for our political views.
It's true.
No one has ever said shit about shit.
They say shit about all this other shit.
that's nice.
I appreciate them. You know what we're talking about? We're you. If you think it might be you, it's you.
Stop emailing us.
Just kidding.
We're going to do a movie next week?
We're doing the Netflix movie with Jake Jillinhal.
That by all accounts looks terrible, but people want to watch us because they don't like...
They don't like us. They don't like us. Velvet. Velvet're gonna see it? No, unless it was a big crab in it.
There might be.
I don't know.
It's like an outsider art movie.
What does that mean?
They find some guys artwork that was never supposed to be shown and it's got demons in it or something?
Oh, Christ.
Jake Jilinhal's is real pretty. Oh, I'll thi! Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi! Jake. thi! Jake. thi! Jake. thi! Jake. thi! Jake. thi! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! It's thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi. It's thi. It's th th thi. It's th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi! It's thi! It's thi! It's thi! It's thi! It's thi! It's thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. It's thi. thi. It's just watch Zodiac instead and then talk about that instead of this movie. Okay, I'll probably watch Johnny Darko.
Yeah, we'll just cover all our bases. Jake cast. Can I take you to a mail bag? Oh, thrown. today.
We thought iTunes was the only place you could leave us a review. Yeah. And we said if you listen to our podcast on another app and you can leave us a review there, please do.
And I realize we've gotten two reviews
on the shitty podcast app that I use.
What?
Podcast Republic?
I'd like to read them to you now.
Please.
The first one is from Jingle man. but jangle it's I think it's a combination of jenga and jungle okay I'm just guessing I don't know could be anything oh might be Jay Engelman
I'm sick of a Santa Claus when I looked at it again at me
Hey jingleman
The best horror movie podcast out there I smile every time I hear the titty bell
you're welcome jingleman
and another one a week later from Walter. This is one of
the best podcasts. Alan and Katie Kill Me. We have, we have, we have, sorry Walter.
RIP. I find myself laughing. Me too, buddy. In such a horrible time we live with Trump,
it's nice to forget for a while.
Keep up the great work, the chemistry you both have is great.
Best friends!
Oh, it's so sweet.
Thank you, Walter.
It's so nice.
And thank you for using podcast or public, which I think is one of the shit, I think
thii.
I think is one of the shud right? I don't know, it's always being like, rate my stuff, right my stuff. Oh, okay. I'm never gonna do it, so.
I just have constant ads at the bottom of mine.
Yeah.
And then when you go to sometimes click on your podcast, you get an Airbnb and it's like
book a home in Pittsburgh.
Why the fuck wo that?
I'm here. January of this year. Oh, okay. It wasn't like from like no. It was last month. Like October 16
Yeah
When we used to be funny and no longer are yeah sure we've lost our magic
Best friends. Oh, I like to think that Walter thinks we're his best friends. That's fine. Yeah after we've killed him, which is sad and we shouldn't have done that.
Sorry Walter. Yeah. Yeah, R. I thr. tha. Dave. Thank. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. toda. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. All right. Dave, thank you. Dave, thank you. Thanks, guys. And thank you for listening to another episode of Where Of Ambulance. Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.