Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 23- Suspiria (1977)
Episode Date: March 30, 2015...witch....witch....witch...! In this episode, we get deep into the madness of the 1977 Dario Argento film "Suspiria", including the question of whether it is more insane than "Alucarda" (if you've n...ot listened to that episode of Werewolf Ambulance, we implore you to watch that movie and check out the episode.) We'd love to hear from you about your thoughts on either/both movies at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, twitter.com/werebulance or instagram @werewolfambulance Other important topics of discussion in this episode include prog rock soundtracks (..witch!), dream logic, hidden images, ADR-ed lines and tiny baby heads. We also say the word "giallo" approximately 400 times, so get ready for that! Did you like this episode? Please tell a friend--that's how we'll get more Werewolf EMTs on board with us. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to another episode of Weirwolf Ambulance.
I'm Alan and I'm here with my co-host podcasting partner Katie.
Hello Katie. Hi Alan, how are you? I'm doing really well and yourself?
I'm doing good. Oh, that's fantastic.
Katie, you all ready for this?
D-da-da-da-da-da-da-
Chocke, Dan.
I'll do it all night.
Today we are going to discuss the classic Dario Ordento film Suspheria.
Did I stop? Now you have to switch to witch, witch, witch, witch.
What was the year this was made?
1977.
Okay.
Starring Phoenix of...
Ah, Jessica Harper.
Phantom of the Paradise?
Yeah.
She has the face of a tiny baby.
It's true.
She just has the face of an infant, just a tiny baby infant. It's an expressive
infant. Yeah. This movie, there's so much going on. I'll start off by saying this is one of
my favorite movies. I'll follow that up by saying I completely understand everyone I know
who hates this movie. Do you know a lot of people who hate this movie? I know a couple.
I have a friend who yells about this movie and how dumb we all are for what.
Why is that person not a guest this week?
Well, maybe you can fill in that camp.
Yeah, I'll do my best.
Susperia is the story of a woman traveling from America to Germany to learn ballet at a dance academy.
And you are to suspend your disbelief that all of these people are mostly Italian,
because they're mostly Italian.
Well, they're actually from all over Europe.
One of the things about this movie is that the dialogue is completely in ADR.
None of it is recorded on set.
So frustrating to watch.
Because people were just delivering their lines in German and Italian, and we're th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th are th are th the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiou-a to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Because people were just delivering their lines in German and Italian
and we're trying to do facsimiles of English, just move their mouths in the way they
thought, Jessica Harper has stories, they're like being on set and delivering her lines
and just guys going like, with hammers behind her and like, they were just like,
they weren't recording anything so it's like matter. You were going to do it all later. So guys were building sets behind them
while they're doing their parts.
So it was like very disorienting.
Yeah.
It's disorienting to watch too, because you're like,
you're not saying that.
Right.
It's the Alicarda effect.
Yeah.
Well, I have a lot of the theo the theories the the the the the the the the the the the the the theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theories theoriesoriesories theories theories the in my opinion. I can see that. I can see that.
A lot of nonsense, a lot of EDR, a lot of fire and women living in houses together.
Yeah, and dream logic.
A lot of times where I went, why?
Why?
Why?
the Suzy Bannon, Jessica Harper's character goes to the German dance academy. The first night she arrives there there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to th. I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi.a.a. thi. Wea, thi, thi, thi. And goes to the German Dance Academy.
The first night she arrived there, it's just Crazy Town.
We did a creep show a couple weeks back,
and we talked about the vibrant colors in creep show,
and I think that Cypire out does that.
Yes.
It's rumored that it was the last film.
It was shot in this weird, like three film, three film, three film, technicolours set up.......... and the, th, th, th, th, and the th, and th, and, and, and, and, and, the the the the th. the th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, they, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, they, they, thi, thi, thi, and ca, thre, they, to process the film and the colors are just so insanely vibrant in this movie. Like, I don't know,
I don't know. It just feels like, it's like an art film or something. It's like, it's, I don't know. Yeah. I'm fucking out. So she, she arrives. There's a very uncomfortable taxi ride. She gets to the Academy, it. And, it, and there, and there, and there, it, and there, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the the the, there's a very uncomfortable taxi ride, she gets to the academy, and there's
this downpour going on.
And when she gets there, there's this woman leaving the academy who's screaming something
back inside the door that you can't hear.
And yeah, it's just nutballs.
So she, Susie goes up to try and get in and whoever answers the intercom,
and she's like, what?
Go away?
Nope, we don't want any.
Bye.
So she has to go find a hotel to stay at and.
And then the story sort of follows the girl who was screaming at the front door that
you couldn't understand her and setting up, god damn it's a beautiful death scene.
Oh, it's disgusting. It's disgusting. So she goes to to to to th. to th. to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoes tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So she th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, so she thi. So she goes to her friend's house in this beautiful apartment
building that has this insane heating thing, the big porcelain heater that was by the one
window.
And all the Escher stuff painted on the walls.
And like a huge glass skylight over the lobby.
And her friend is insane, seemingly.
Like, hey, why don't you close it?
Okay.
She's like, you're very upset.
Why do you stop being so upset?
Maybe because you're shouting at her.
Wow.
That's just my first of mine is.
I want to stop here and say that like, I think this film works as a, I mean, it's like
recounting a nightmare to someone, but doing it in the most beautiful visual way ever.
Like, yeah.
Literally the script was written based on nightmares that Dario Agentor's girlfriend of the
time, Dariah Nicolotie had.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's in a bunch of his other movies. She was initially
cast to play the Susie Bannon character but he wanted to go younger he actually
wanted to have it be a bunch of 12-year-olds and kill them in the same way that
killing his adults. Nope no no no no not okay. Sometimes his artistic vision has to be drawn back in. Yeah. But I think it works in that, it's like,
I don't know, maybe it's just the way that I dream or something,
but it just, it hits me and just like,
I understand it because I feel like it's a nightmare.
I'm feeling I'm watching someone's nightmare
because, you know, voices not matching up to what the mouth's doing,
and people just acting irrationally at all times and feels like a nightmare to me. It feels so so beautifully
like a nightmare. And the woman who ran out of the school and is now at her friend's place
keeps looking at the window because she thinks she sees something out there.
Just keeps getting closer and closer to the window with a lamp. Just keep getting closer and
closer to the window with a lamp and I keep thinking like, that's not how reflections. You're not going to be able to see any better
you're making it worse. And then you see the eyes of whatever is out there. Yeah. And this
gross ass hairy arm. What was that? Fraches through. Again, the nightmare aspect. Yeah. And stabs are in such a comedic way. I lulled. Stabbing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stobbing. Stobbing. Yeah. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. St. Yeah. Yeah. St. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You. You th. You th. You th. You th. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. Itabbing shouldn't be this funny as it was. Because it was
just like, took! Like, just like no leverage, just like a swinging like, thunk! It's enough to take her
down. Well, several times, yeah. But again, it works in that dream logic of just like how something
that simple could be what kills you, like. Well, then they show her heart. then they they show th work work work work work work work work work work work work work th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, then they show her heart and then they cut into her heart. Yeah. Which is... Fantastic.
And then, oh, go on.
She gets thrown onto the stained glass window that we had mentioned earlier.
Her head sort of lulls backwards through it and her friend is in the foyer screaming, that's
a murderer!
The woman screams, she has like, thithey're all just screamed. The architecture of the building just seemingly keeps shifting like she walks out of her apartment
to go to the door of another apartment and then when you see her from
behind she's on a balcony. She's on a balcony. That's not right. Yeah but I
but I felt I was a mistake. And like when the woman goes out the window when
the arm grabs her and takes her out the window she's on a balcony and then suddenly she's around a chain link fence and there's all this crazy stuff. I mean I like I said I can understand not
liking it and I'm going to be very apologetic and I have these weird theories
about it and all this stuff like so this leads up to this woman the woman who
ran away from the school being pushed through oh we forgot to mention when the hand grabs her through the window it smashes the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thoe. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. the the thoes. thoe. toe. toe. toe. toe. thoe. I's is is is is is is is is is. I I I I I I I I go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. the. the. the. the. the. the. throwne. thoooooooo. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to mention, when the hand grabs her through the window, it smashes
her face against the glass of the window, which is like a-
Oh yeah, she's gone, she's like a piggy nose and stuff.
It's an Arjeno trope.
He loves pushing specifically women's faces through glass.
Oh, that's great.
Good, good guy.
This movie not nice to women at all. One of the biggest togentoeagentoeagentoegenterstersterstersterstersterstersterstersterstersterseagentoeagentoeageageageageageageageageatemente, toe, toe, toe, toe, thi, thi, thi, toe, toe, toe, too, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the. It, thean, thean, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's, the. It's, the. It, this movie not nice to women at all. Nope. One of the biggest criticisms I read about Argento is that he just hates women.
Like, he's just constantly murdering women.
It's really brutal.
I think there's only one man that's murdered in this movie.
And he's, he's handicapped.
Yeah, taking down my dog.
Well, you know.
He swears that he's not, not sexist but like who is like I am sexist.
Oh, I guess Reddit.
So.
Every comment on the internet.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this leads to the woman crashing through the sunlight and her friend
standing below her being impaled by these iron bars.
But she gets caught by a noose and hangs from a noose. Why? She's already dead.
Oh, he wraps a quarter round her neck. What? Gotcha. Yeah, and then her friend gets impaled by the
blast that cuts her face in her. Yeah, from the skylight. It's so gorgeous. Super gross.
And the blood is like this very red, I can think that's sort of characteristic of that sort of genre of movie, right? The like a little bit of like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th. That, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the, the th, the, th. And, the, the, the, they, they. And, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeee. theeee. He wroo, they, they of genre of movie, right? The like sort of tempera paint looking blood.
Oh yeah, a little bit of like the Gialo film and it's sort of a nod to...
Gialo.
Yeah. Not Gialo?
Gialo?
Gialo, sorry.
You're an Italian expert.
Hey, it's nice.
It's a nice.
A gilo. It's also, it seemed like a little bit of a nod to the hammer films with that bright temper of paint blood.
That's how it is for everybody in this movie.
They bleed paint.
Yeah.
And there's that sort of, that first blood splatter that you see, if you look at it just right,
it looks like a witch.
It does not.
It does, too.
No, no, they talk about it in the commentary on the movie. All right, well, I'll look at it again later.
No, you won't.
Nope.
I'll look it up on the internet, maybe.
Well, I gave you the DVD back.
What do you want from me?
We should have said earlier, there's going to be spoilers.
I forgot to mention there's going to be spoilers. I don't say thi I to to to to to to the to the to to the to the to the tho tho tho tho tho tho thin. I'm thin. I thin. I don't want thin. I don't want tho tho tho tho tho thin. I'll the thin. I'll their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin. I'll thin. I'll thin. I'll thin. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll to. I'll toooooooooooooooooooooo. I ttip. I tip. I'll. I'll tho. I'll th th th it's insane. I mean, this one I can legit say is nonsense. It's not like a kill list where it's just chaos.
This is nonsense.
Do you think that this is more or less nonsense
than Alacarta?
Also, if you've not listened to our Alacarta episode,
just go listen to it.
Oh, please do it. And before you do, watch tho' the today. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this is more thi. this is more th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. understand. Smoke a shit ton of weed. Listen to like, I don't know, like a Black Widow LP.
Get some good flute rock going, and then watch Alu-Qaida.
This is your weekend.
We've just planted for you.
Yeah, have some pizza too, because it's delicious.
Pizz is great.
Yeah, or tacos.
Maybe, like Thai food. Okay, all right, we can agree on this. Do I think it's more or less ridiculous than Alacarta?
I think it's less ridiculous than Alacarta.
Okay, I just want to make sure we are on the same page with that.
I think it's more structured than Alacarta.
It makes sense at least.
I don't think it makes any sense at all.
Really? Okay. I mean, like I said, like I don't th said, like I th said, like I th said, I th said, I th said, I don't th said, I don't tha, I don't tha, I don't tha, I don't tha, I tha, to to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make the thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thi throooooooooooooooooooooooo. the same the same theee, thi thi thi, I want you to watch this movie. I want everybody listening, everyone with the sound of my voice.
I want you to watch this movie because I think it's necessary.
I think it's a necessary film to see.
If you're a student of horror, or, God, I can't believe I keep saying it,
if you're a fan of horror.
No, I like it when you say student. Watch this movie if you know someone who's a fan of film make them watch this movie because I think it's important I think there's something about this movie that's just so gorgeous and important to see
Visually it's beautiful. Oh god damn it's so good. So good. There's just a lot of stuff. I don't I mean like I do understand more than Al-O-Qarta I understand the overarching plot. Okay. I think? I think. Can you give a quick th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the summary of the over-roging time? Do I do anything quickly? So yeah, so Susie ends up at the school, the ballet school, where they tell her that her
room isn't ready, so she used to go stay off campus with another student, which they
quickly then take back when she faints.
Yeah.
But she faints because someone shined like a light in her eyes. Yeah.
And she's like really being a whiner about it, like really being a whiner.
It's her first day and she's like, I just will stop and rest.
And it's like no, when you went to another country to study ballet, get up and do a plia
or something.
So...
Is that when Mary holds the Jesus?
That's a pieieta. Oh, okay. Things of learning. Plie is different.
She faints.
And then this doctor comes in, this like weird German doctor comes in and gives her a shot
of something, you don't know what.
And then they put her on a special diet of what appears to be just fish fillets and red wine.
And later she throws a fish filet in the toilet and it's just so appalling to me. It's just like so upsetting for some reason.
To imagine like flushing like a boiled fish filet down a toilet is so gross.
It's the grossest thing in this movie is that fish in the bottom of the toilet.
You asked me to do this quickly andress named Madame Blanc. I love everything she's wearing in this movie.
I would wear all of her outfits.
She's great.
She's great.
She's great.
She's a great actress.
She's great in this, like, with a plum.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She doesn't overact it.
No.
She's not like the one dance instructor that's all teeth and just chattering it everybody the whole time. You mean the woman in the skirt suit?
Yeah.
Yep.
The Madame Blanc is obviously up to something with Susie.
She's working with her somehow, but she really wants to corrupt her, it seems on some
level.
She wants to do something to like, it's never really, I never really interested.
I've seen this movie so many times and I don't exactly understand what's going on.
Yeah.
Why she wants Susie so bad.
So she, when Susie arrives, before she even gets sick, Madame Blanc tells her that this
other student has been murdered.
Right.
Like, why would you do that?
Well, she shows up when the cops are there. Oh, oh, I see. And Sus, and Sue, and Sue, and Su, and Su, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I see. And Susie then has this weird recollection that could
not possibly have really happened where she like read this girl's lips and
knew exactly what she was saying and as the movie goes on she gets like more and
more of what she was saying like what you did not see or hear that. Dream logic.
Fine. Fine. That's also a trope in Argento Gialo. Jalo. Think of it starting with like a D. Jalo. That's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's the the the sound. That's the sound. That's the sound. That's the sound. That's the sound. That's the sound. That's the sound. It's the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. movies. Jalo. Think of it starting with like a D.
Jalo.
That's the sound, like a DJ sound.
Jalo.
Gialo.
Nope.
No.
Somewhere Nana is like, nope, nope, no.
Hi, Nana.
I can't wait to meet Donna some day.
Yeah, you got to.
No, it's also a trope in in in movies of the protagonist realizing throughout the film
that they knew the entire time what's been happening.
It's fine, it's good, I love it.
I'm wrinkling my nose at this.
You guys heard that, right?
Yeah.
You hear me squinting real hard?
Suzzi keeps their to. They're all weird. Everybody's weird. There's this great dude who seems to be like sort of an all-around helper guy,
like just brings food to people and stuff.
Speaks no lines.
No, he's really odd looking and like a weird mouth.
The one lady is just like, you can tell him he's ugly.
You're ugly.
You know you're ugly.
He's like he doesn't know any.
He just only speaks Romanian. I'm like, what are you doing, lady? That's real mean. He turns out to be a bad guy, spoiler alert. And then there's this blind piano player
who does not deserve anything that happens to him.
I just, yeah, all right.
You know, I thought I had a better handle on the plot
until we started describing it.
Yeah, like I said, I don't really want to give too much away because it's just like there's you can't you can't describe this movie I can't describe this movie maybe someone who is better at
describing than I am my notes are just like insane like they're mostly about
that bathing suit she wears which isn't a bathing suit but appears to be
like a t-shirt and a pair of underwear oh yeah when they're bathing
in the most beautiful pool that the world? But why is she wearing a t-shirt in that pool? No, no, that's what she wanted to wear, which you went swimming. I used to wear a t-shirt all the time when I swam.
I heard the woman whose names start with S's are snakes.
Uh-huh.
And so she has this friend Sarah, who is another Nuhh. God damn, I love this movie.
Sarah is like a descending into paranoia basically about what's going on there.
Apparently she'd had some sort of friendship with the girl who had left and then been killed,
just like Alacarta, if you'll recall.
I do. I do recall.
If you do recall.
And so she sort of knows that
something is up at this school but isn't sure what it is and she doesn't seem
real bright like Susie has to kind of do the figuring out for her. And so she is
kind of like sneaking around and trying to find out what's going on and
there's a couple of scenes where they're listening to footsteps try and the thi. the thi the the the the the the the the's the's the's the's the's the's theateateateateateateateateateateat theateat. S. S. See's theat. See's the-s theat the-s the-s. S. See the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the se se se se se se se se se sea thean. thean. thean. thean. toean. toean. toean. toean. then she dies. How does she die in a
slinky room, a room filled with slinkies. Filled with razor wire there's no
razors on it. And she can't stand in it's like a shitty ball pit like she falls in
and it's just like whoa! Like falling and she can't get back up and she dies.
But again like I got to hit I'm gonna hit this so hard,
but again, it fits into that dream logic of line.
She climbs up, she stacks all these wobbly, wobbly bobbs to tu up.
What she does not have to do, she could reach it almost from the floor.
And she climbs into this tiny window to fall into this room filled with wire.
She jumps. She doesn't doesn't. look at the floor to see that it's literally covered in like Sarah look at the you're jumping you're jumping you're jumping see how far down it is at
least so gorgeous and that blue light in the silver it's so beautiful it's very
silly yeah god damn it's good there's so many little scenes of just like
people making eye contact with the with Susie as she walks down the
hallway and just like the cooks the like two cooks that look like twins that are always like giving her the
stink eye and the little kid it looks like a he always looks like he's about to throw up.
You know it's always like just holding back a bomb. Yeah there's just I don't know there's so much little stuff and they're just the colors and we haven't even got to the music yet.
I really want to hit the music hard.
They hit the music hard.
A lot of prog rock.
I didn't know if that was actually what they were saying or but I was just, nope, they're
just hitting, hammering home that point. If you watch the, there's like special features in Claudio Seminante is the guy who is, he was sort of the main guy behind Goblin at
this time who's the band. And like at one point during the making of the record
it's like, uh, saying a witch. That's a me. I say a witch. So you did that well.
They talk about like crinkling up like a like plastic cups on the microphones to make like the noises and stuff and
And Argento worked with them on the soundtrack like he's done a bunch of soundtracks with goblin.
Yeah and he was actually in the studio like working with them creating this I think the movie and
Soundtrack together so amazingly effective like so wait
They're like well Sarah just left. She just packed up her shit and left, even though her room is trash.
It's like, you can't even clean it up.
Susie goes to talk to her friend, Dr. Exposition.
Dr. Udo Kir.
Who, then, then that's when she learns all about the witch thing that's happening
at the school.
But they keep calling it the acult. It's like flashing back to Wayne's world of being like, I don't even own an ag gun, let alone many guns
to necessitate an entire rack.
Like, accult.
She goes and meets with the handsome, handsome udokir.
He hooks her up with this professor friend of his.
Who just happens to be standing right over there?
Yeah, they're at a conference.
Oh, I see. Oh, they're at the convention center. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. the. the. theathe. theateateathe... teateateate............ te.. te. too. the. the. the..............'ll accept that. And yeah, he's sort of doctor exposition about the the occult in this area and these, you know, the witches and all this stuff.
Which you're, you know, as you're watching the movie, you're piecing together
that's, there's something very odd about this school. There's the maggots. The maggots? The maggots, like, that scene really got me. That's. The- The ma. The ma. The ma. The m. The m. The m. The m. the the the the the the the m. M. M. Mag- the mag- the mag- the mag- the mag- the wa. Mag- th. th. the wa, like, like, like, like, like, you's, you's, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you. the w. the w. the w. the w. the wa. the woge. the woge. the wo-a. the witch. the witches, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you're, you're, you know, you're, blame lost boys for this like maggot phobia of like,
you know when he's eating it and it turns into maggots.
How are your maggots, Michael?
Oh,
Oh, ugh, woo, oh.
It's super gross.
Yeah, and then when they're walking around in the attic,
just like, leaving like, basically,
shoo prints of dead maggots. Yeah. I feel like little, that little Lord Fondle Roy boy right now just being like, I'm holding
back a bomb, I'm holding back a bomb.
And it's great because they're not even maggots.
They're mealworms.
Oh yeah, it's right.
They're way too big to be maggots.
Yeah.
But yeah, they keeping food to rot in the attic? Well it was from the supplier the supplier had sent them bad food but also like why would you keep food in the
attic it doesn't seem right. Kitchens downstairs. I realize we're jumping all
over the place but that leads to them. Are we? This is the movie? That leads to
them having to sleep in like the auditorium for the night with these weird sheets the teachers the the the the the the the the th. the the th the the th the the the th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their the the their the the the theyauauauauauau.au.au.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.athe outside of that ring. The asthmatic director.
So good.
So creepy.
As an asthmatic, I really like the asthmatic appearance.
Just like to see asthmatics get there due.
We're just portrayed as evil witches.
Yeah.
And that's all you can identify them is because they're like, I believe that's Helena Marcos is the name of the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, uh, th, uh, uh, thus, thus, th, th, th, th, th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th. So, so th, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th... So, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thii, thi. thi. So-a-a-a-a-a. So-a. So-a, thi, thi, the is the name of the asthmatic in question.
She has some lines at the end of the movie and they're all the dumbest lines ever written.
You're going to meet death now.
Real life death.
That whole scene is what is like Dariah and Nicolodi's dream.
That's what that scene is with the invisible witch and all that stuff.
But not quite invisible.
Spoiler alert, we've gone to the invisible which part of the movie.
Not quite invisible.
God damn it's so good.
Again, I'm sorry that we're just all over the place, but you should watch this movie.
It'll make you happy. It if you hate it, it's going to make you happy. It's an interesting theory, Alan. I promise everybody. There is flushing fish fillets down the toilet, which will make you
happy. Yeah, everybody likes that, right? There's beautiful swimming pools. There's a
blind man getting his throat ripped out in the Reichs curses the dog and he turns around and kills him.
Never shuts the dog.
Because they claimed the dog attacked Lord Fonteroy.
Yeah.
Which he totally didn't.
Totally didn't.
Yeah.
Do you got some more notes to hit?
None of them make any sense.
None of themogether, ladies.
Like, what?
I don't know.
Nothing this makes any sense.
Man, let's just skip right ahead to the end of this movie.
Okay, let's talk about, Susie finds like,
like, the secret room where the witch's coven,
where the witch coven is meeting. Which she like then remembers that the woman was screaming, turned, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thus, thus, thus, thi, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th... Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, let's, let's, let's, thi, turn the blue iris! Like no you definitely did not hear her say that. Beautiful room by the way. Yeah totally. The whole place is beautiful. Yeah.
So she gets in there and goes down this hallway that has like sort of languages, I
don't know. Yeah, they seem to be like some sort of a cult stuff written
all over the walls and yeah. Where she sees Madame Blanc sitting in a chair saying we've got to get rid of th, th, th, th, th, the their their their their their th, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the is the is thean, thean, that, that, that, that, that, thoooooooooooooooo, we've got to get rid of that American bitch.
Everyone in this movie's a bitch.
They just keep saying it over and over.
You bitch!
Oh no, our tento loves women.
Yeah, no, totally.
So she sees Madame Blanc in there,
and she's being sort of served by the dance instructor with the skirt suit. Yeah, yeah. And little Lord Fonderoi, Mrs. Teeth.
And little Lord Fondelroy is standing there and so is a.
Long face.
Yeah, the servant guy.
Right, they're conducting some sort of like black mass thing.
And Susie, yeah, he comes like out down the hallway. And he's got the, this is where you see that he's got the lighter, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, the lighter, the lighter, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the the, they. the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,the lighter, right, from the, from her friend. Oh, I didn't catch that.
Yeah, she sneaks into this other room, right?
She's like kind of trying to get away and she sneaks into this other room.
That's got a like four post bed in it.
Yeah.
And then this. But before she gets into that room, she sees the body of Sarah, who is like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. thin, thi, thin, th. th. th. th. She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. thin. th. th. th. thin. try. try. try. She's, like, like, she's, like, she's, kind of, kind of, kind of. Her eyes look amazing. There's like something going through like a something looking almost like an
acupuncture needle through each of her eyes. Yeah. And then her wrists are like
staked down to her sides by like crystal stakes pretty much. I don't know why.
Y Colts. Yeah, accolts. So she sneaks into the bedroom and that's where you see the there's this like big neon peacock-p. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thion. th. th. th. th. th. th. Something. Something. Something. Something. th. Something. th. Something. th. th. Something. th. th. th. th. Something. th. th. Something. th. th. th. Something. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. Something. Something. thi. Something. Like, like. thi. Something. Something. Like, thi. Something. Like, thi. Something. Like, th. Something. Like, th. Like, ck-Alt. So she sneaks into the bedroom and that's where you see the, there's this like big neon
peacock thing that's made out of crystals that's on the table.
Just because.
Well, his first, his debut movie, our Dento's debut movie was called The Bird with the Crystal
Plumage.
So it's a little homage to himself.
Little not. Lil Not to him. And if you haven't seen that movie, it's fucking fantastic. I have not, as you can imagine. Is this your first Sargento movie?
I've seen this before, but it's the only one I've seen. Okay, okay.
So she's in this, the room with the bed, and there's the asthmatic breathing again.
And, uh, man, woman's always sleeping.
She's old as shit. And then
Helena Marcos, the founder of the school speaks up, the American girl.
You want to kill me. You were going to kill me.
But it's delivered in like death metal girls. Yeah, I can't even do it. I need to like be able to talk tomorrow.
You want to kill me.
Yeah.
That was really good.
Yeah, that was really good man.
Oh, good.
I'm gnauze.
Susie knocks over the bird in there you know she could have just stayed in the other room. Helena Marcos is being like lit up by this white light that's kind of
outlining or invisible body. Yeah, she's sort of backlit. Yeah. But then when
Suzy pulls the curtains open the bed is empty. Right. Except? Except it isn't
exactly empty. No? Because she's outlined? Yeah. Why? Why? Why? Why? Yeah.
And Susie stabs the outlined witch through the neck with the...
But now before Sarah comes busting in, it doesn't do anything.
Yeah, she looks crazy and awesome.
She didn't do anything.
She just kind of stands.
She freaks Sarah out, or Susie out? Yeah, she totally does.
And she stabs the witch in the neck.
And then Sarah disappears. Yeah.
And then the building catches on fire?
Yeah, first you see the witch.
She comes into like full, full relief.
You see her? She looks like she's covered in gray oatmeal. She does. She does. th. She. She. She's. She's. th. th. th. the. th. runs past where she saw a little black mass thing happening and Dr. Teeth and Madame Blanc and Lord
Fonteyroix and Longface are like all bleeding and screaming and winds blowing on them.
And she runs out of the building and the building catches on fire or explodes.
Yeah, inexplicably.
And she walks outside and she's like, ha ha ha ha.
Nope, nope, nope.
Oh man. That's the end of the movie.
What happened to or what was the purpose of that like, the guy across the hall with a really
tight jeans? The one who's the ballet dancer and the janitor?
Yes. I don't know. I just wondered if you had some insight
there. I have a surprising lack of insight about this movie. I just watch it and I kind of don't
ask any questions. How can you live like that? And I just take it in and it's like, I don't know,
what's going to, you know, you can just fill in the gaps if you want to or you can just take it as it is or it's not like a kill list where I want to I want to fill in all the holes. This one I want, I was like,
oh we can spread this out even more and get even more holes in here like this is crazy town.
Because it's like um I can't this movie is similar for me to fan. Okay where it doesn't. that that. th. th. th. th. th i thi thi thi thi thi th i thi thi that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that to that to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to say it, it has to be said like that.
Boy!
It, I don't want it to make sense.
I love that it doesn't make sense.
I love that it's all over the place.
I know, this is the dichotomy here.
Because I love the illogical and you love the logical.
I love the nonsense.
I love the nonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsonsons, I know, the visually and the soundtrack to this, like, worked so well together, so fantastic.
No one's denying that.
So, okay, I'm going to get probably the most pretentious dickhead that I've gotten thus far.
Oh, good.
Here we go.
This is better than student of horror.
This is a...
You just sat up straighter.
Yeah.
So I'm thinking about this movie, right, and I'm listening to Bitch's Brew by Miles Davis. Okay. And I'm thinking, this movie is just, it's like, it's
like visual jazz, man. There's just ziggin and zagging. And I'm just like, and I, I, underlying
there, there's this technique and this understanding of what's going on that I don't have to know to enjoy. I can just sit back and take it in for what it is,
for what's being thrown at me.
I'm a bit of a musician, but I can't play jazz.
Like jazz is beyond me.
Yeah, me too.
And like with this movie, I'm just kind of like,
I can't make movies, I'm in a movie and it's fucking genius.
But you can listen to say the whole time like I do understand the motivation in the feeling behind it
Of filming of nightmare of getting that nightmare feeling on to screen
I think this movie does that more effectively than any film I've ever seen
Okay, I think it it tackle if if if that indeed and that's what I read that like they were trying to film a nightmare? thin. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. the. the. the. the. the. their the. the. their their their their their they the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their they. they. they. they. they. te. te. tea. tea. tea. they. they. they. of. their they. their their their their their their the were trying to film a nightmare. They were trying to give it a nightmare feel. Yeah, no, I totally get that. And I think like I'd never seen anything that captures it so well. And there are parts that almost seem distorted too,
like in the dance sequences when they're doing ballet,
it's almost seems like it might be stretched the film. I don't know if it's just an illusion of like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that thi thi they're like longer and thinner than they actually are. And there's those great crane shots and like like we were mentioned earlier when they're
sleeping in the auditorium and there's that big sheet and it's like starts off
around the sheet and the crane shot just like inexplicably like shoots up
over everything. It's so like it's disorienting and it kind of like... There's one of those sorry that I really like to like a long cut where the th. th. the the the th. the the the th. th. the the th. th. There's the th. There's the the th. There's the the th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. I I's th. I's th. I'm th. I's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's I's, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their their their their they. I's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. I's like, like, like, they. I's like, they. I really like to, like a long cut where Sarah and Susie are in Susie's room and the
camera is like at Sarah's face level and then it goes up to the light fixture.
Yeah. And it's filming her from above and then she turns off the lights and it goes to night vision
and then while it's a night vision it like goes back down to her level like all in one cut which I really liked. I get that I get that. It's beautiful. It's. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's like. It's like. It's like. th. th. th. th. th. I'm like, I'm like, I like, I th. I th. th. I like, I th. I th. I like, I the the the the th. I like, I like, I like, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. It's beautiful. Almost like you're an observer of this nightmare and you have like almost mystical powers where you're getting these like you're as the viewer you're being pushed around the room.
Yeah. But but.
But. It's very silly. Katie, are you ready to give this movie a rating? Nope. All right well let's real quick talk about the soundtrack. So the soundtrack is done by Goblin and Dario Argento. And Goblin are a progressive rock- thi thi thi thi thi thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, the their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, the talk about the soundtrack. So the soundtrack is done by Goblin and Dario Argento.
And Goblin are a progressive rock band, like sort of Proto Metal at times, band from Italy
that soundtracked a lot of, a lot of Argento movies.
They did, they also did Dawn of the Dead, that sort of like quintessential horror soundtrack
for that movie. And I love them, I like listen to them them them them the watching movies I also like I enjoy listening to Goblin I got to see them last year
and I was super stoked it was an amazing show and there's very few films that I
can think you score so effective Halloween Halloween Halloween
Halloween, Jaws Jaws Jaws and I would definitely like and I would definitely
for me like I raised this film up
into that pantheon and put that up there with those movies. Totally. The score
almost never stops. It's going almost the entire time. And it's it's it's relentless.
It's like, it's got the progressive vibes but it also like this weird like tribal
rhythms to stuff and it's just like but it's also like that off-time thing going on. Yeah it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like th. It's like the the the the the the the th. It's like the the the th. It's like the the the th. It's like the the th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I th. I th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's the th. the the. the the the. the to the. the the to the. the the. the the the. the. the. th. like but it's also like sort of that off-time thing going on yeah disorienting yeah the vocalizing the witch it's very
funny yeah but I really couldn't tell that's what they were saying yeah it is
that's oh I love it it's a little on the nose for me but in the movie that you're
complaining is so off the nose well that's not my complaint isn't that it's off the nose which isn't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh thi thi thi. Oh the. Oh the. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the thi's thi's thi's thi's thi is thi. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's the that you're complaining is so off the nose.
Well, that's not, my complaint isn't that it's off the nose.
Which isn't the thing that people say.
No one says off the nose.
My nose is clean.
That's not, I'm not complaining.
I did complain about the fish being thrown in the toilet, that's fair.
Let's move on to that's going to lead us to sort of working this things through. Okay, you should have come to a resolution here.
So, ratings face, I think this movie, like I said earlier, it should be mandatory viewing.
I think like any like person who loves horror and loves film should watch this movie.
This movie is a ten.
This is a solid ten film.
This is my third ten on the podcast. Because I think again this is a movie that like a song was like hey where do I start with horror movies like I'm just sliding this DVD
across because it captures visuals it's insane it's got the soundtrack I feel like
this could turn people off of horror I feel like this isn't I'm sorry I don't
mean to cut into your reading but I feel like this isn't a great representation of what you know what I mean I feel like this isn't a horror horror. th. this is a th. this is a th. this is a great. this is a great. this is a great. I th. I this isn't a great. I th. I th. I this isn't a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm like like like like this isn't th. I'm sorry. I'm th. I'm sorry. I'm like like like like like like like this isn't this isn't this isn't this isn't this isn't this isn't this isn't th. I'm this isn't this isn't this isn't this isn't th. I'm this isn't a great. I'm this isn't a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great. I'm a great th. I'm a great. I th. I th. I'm a great th. I'm a great th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I th. I'm sorry. I feel like like th. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I feel like th. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I like this isn't horror 101. Oh I, um, because I could see someone watching this being like, fuck horror
then. This is silly. Yeah, but I think if you watch this with the other movies
that I'm going to give you. Oh, you're curated. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if someone's
asking me where to get into it, when taken in with the rest of the movies that I sort of think are necessary to understand horror.
Like I think this fits in perfectly.
I think this, I would put this up against a Jaws or a Halloween as like just an important
film for horror movies.
You think Jaws is a horror movie?
Yeah, I do.
It's interesting.
Yeah, why isn't it?
Why isn't it?
I don't know?
I don't thii th th thin thin th everyone down. Yeah, I just didn't never really considered it.
Really?
I need to think more about, I think I need to spend more time thinking about Jaws.
Oh man, I watch the movie.
I don't spend enough time thinking about jaws.
It's great.
I need to do that.
You should.
Anytime you want to watch that movies.
. Yeah, we should maybe do it on this pod. It would be cool if we had like an outlet to talk about horror movies. I would like to suggest other Argento movies for you to watch that are more straightforward to see if like,
because I think cinematography wise and visual wise, he's a master. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love it.
I joke about him and about Luteo Fulchi that when they would show up on the set that when when they would they would they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're th. the. I the. I the. I'd the. I'd the. the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd that that's that's that's more that's more that's more that's more that's more that's more that's more that's more that's more that's th. I'd are th. I'd are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I'd the. I'd to to the to the to to the to thee to to theeeeee to theee to the to the the th would show up on the set and so I'll be like well what do we shoot next what's the next script? Oh script script script I don't have a script who needs a script yeah let's just do this thing I've got my brain yeah you can all figure it out as I'm
going you know and I think like I think our gentle especially at this period of time like later he kind of he went downhill for the movies like the movie that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the movies the movies that that that that that that that that that that th th th is th is the the the the the the the the the th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the unequivocally, it's art that he's making.
I think it gets low-balled for stuff because it's horror,
but I think this is straight up art.
This is for my opinion.
Like, I understand people, again, it's nonsense.
I can understand you're not liking it, but...
You're putting words into my mouth.
No, no, no, but I'm saying, like, Dennis, in Dennis, in Dennis, in Dennis, in Dennis, in Dennis, in Dennis, in Dennis, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, no, but I'm saying like in general I can understand like my friend Dennis hates this movie I like Dennis because he likes Hallinot's
That's all I know about Dennis and I love Holland. He viscerally hates this film. Really? Yeah I'd like to hear what Dennis is to say about this but Dennis is very he's very logical like you are for the most part. Yeah, it's hard to like, it's hard to let that go and just to try. to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. the tho. I. the the tho. I. I tho. I tho. I tho. I to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I to like, it's hard to let that go and just be like, well, I'll just lose myself in this thing that doesn't make any sense, you know.
Right.
And when you're a lover of nonsense, it's totally easy to just, yum, nom, eat this movie up.
Eat that nonsense up.
I mean, I do not disagree with you that it's absolutely beautiful, visually and audibly. in my ears? Orally? Orally? Orally? Gallow. Gialo.
Oh, welcome. Are you going to get it? Try it again. Yeah, although.
Okay, got it. Nailed. I mean, the acting is atrocious. I can't see. That's what I couldn't tell. Was the acting atrocious? Or was it a language barrier? Or are those two things not mutually exclusive? God bless her Jessica Harper is terrible. I don't
like her. And I don't know if it's the her because she's like I don't know if
it's her poor acting but I didn't really like side I wasn't siding with
Susie I wasn't like oh no I don't want Susie like to killie, fine. She's, first of all, she's a whiner.
She's kind of acting like a brat to these people.
Before she realizes anything's up, she acts like a brat.
And then she like nibs into their shit and almost deserves to die.
Whoa.
Well, I'm sorry, you tracked down the sentence. Yeah, she's as the protagonist, she's almost sort of removable from the picture.
I was more, I was, I was more into Sarah.
I like wanted, even though she was a troublemaker and smoked way too much for an athlete.
If someone asked me if they should watch this, I would definitely say yes because you should see it.
I agree with you on that. I liked it better than Alcarta, but I think I gave Alcarta like a two. Yeah, you really need to revisit that movie.
I don't think that I do ever.
I think actually I would have given this movie a much lower rating had I not seen Alacarta before it.
Oh wow. This is just like a superior Alacarta, say five and a half.
Oh, okay. Well, at least made it into the top half. Yeah, it's not a passing grade, but it's not the bottom tier either, so.
I mean, and I almost feel bad giving it that because I do see like so many great things
about it, but it's just not, no, god damn it.
I don't know.
Don't let my over-exuberance about this.
I always feel like I'm the one who's like, fuck it, hated it. Oh, did you love stitches? Come on. I'm going to give it a six, because five and a half seems too low.
Yeah. Six. I always like to read the Incyclopedia of Horror movies when we're doing movies that are in
the wheelhouse of movies that I want to see that this book ends in 1985. Real quick. What is that picture? It's the witch the the insect the insect the insect the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the where. We we we are the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheel thoomomomom? We. We. Wea. We're the wheel thoom. Wea. Wea. Wea. I'm th. I'm thoom. I'm thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I. I. I's th. I's thi? No, it's the witch getting stabbed in the neck.
Say there's an oatmeal face.
In this review of Suspheria, there's a little thing that I think really wraps up this movie
well and kind of explains why I like it so much.
So the last half of the last paragraph in the review is, although the narrative
is contrived and art. Aure in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in the this this the this movie in this movie in this movie in the this movie is the this movie is the the this movie. Argento's exceptionally skillful use of color, jagged cutting, and good sense of
decor. The decor in this movie is fantastic. I love all the furniture in this. I
love everything. I love the couches, I love the chairs. I love everything. I love the
curtains, the wallpaper. I was like I'm gonna fucking plaster my house in
this wallpaper. I love it. A good sense of decor as well as the recourse to a shower of maggots, traps of steel mesh to a sanguinate their victims, razors and so on
combined to create a hallucinatory atmosphere of terror. Like it just... I totally
agree with that. Yeah, see I feel bad giving it a low rating because it is
beautiful and there's so many things I really like about it, but it's just that, I guess I just can't get behind that nightmare thing.
I just can't... It doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't make me feel good. It makes me feel bad.
Well, isn't that what a heart movie is supposed to do? No, if I made me feel bad.
Romcoms make me feel bad, you know? Like, happy movies make me feel great.. Yeah. Horror movies make me feel great.
And these do not.
This did not.
Hmm.
Like, I walked away from Creep Show being like, fuck, loved it.
Love it, loved it, love it.
I feel great.
And this I just felt like, drained.
And the Friday night, too.
You were super pumped on that movie.
Maybe I'm just, I don't know, it's just not my... But if it's not your
thing, this isn't what you're into. But see, we keep having this conversation that
ends with you saying, you know what, it's okay, you're just not that into this.
And I'm trying to... That's just because you sound like a creep. No, it just, oh my god, I did not mean that I'm thiii. thi, I that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, this is, this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is not this is not this is not this is not this is this is not this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is not this is not this is not this is not this is not th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this is not this is not this is not this is not this is not this is not, I just feel like I'm being a complainer.
I feel like I'm being Susie when she didn't want to dance.
No way, you're just, you're literally just not into it.
It's fine.
Like, I mean, there's plenty of stuff, like, I know what you did last summer.
You hate it.
You hate it.
I fucking hate that movie.
I didn't, I don't love that movie. I didn't think, I don't think, let me put it this way, I don't think that's a better movie
than this by any stretch of the imagination.
I gave it a better rating though, maybe you're right that our rating system is inane
and stupid.
Oh, I'm trying not to say that for a while.
If you have a suggestion for a better rating system, please let us know. It's just hard. It's just hard to quantify, I guess.
Because it is beautiful.
And I did really like, I mean, the deaths are incredible.
And there's so much to love about it.
And then there's so much just like, hmm?
Yeah.
This is also, and this may shape why I enjoy this movie so much.
I think I've told you about team Fulte before, or my friends and I would watch horror movies
all night long, and this was like a staple of that.
So like, you pop this sucker in at 3 o'clock in the morning when again, you're all hopped
up on skittles.
Yeah, it's a great time.
You're laughing. Like you can talk over this entire god-demeanor. Oh yeah, you don't need to hear a word in the dialogue. No, no. You just, you know, it's just so-
They're barely saying the dialogue, to be honest with you.
That's shaped my love of this movie on a lot of levels.
Like, I just don't want to say I didn't like it.
Because that's not true. tho, you. I, to. I, to. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to bea. toe. toe. toe. toe. that's toe. Yeah. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, to me. Yeah, toe. Yeah, to be. Yeah, to be. Yeah, to be. Yeah. Yeah, toe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the F minus minus. It's like without then like then you get into without warning, which I did not like I know I don't want to hear it. What are we doing next
week Katie? Next week we're finally gonna fucking do grabbers. We're gonna get so drunk. So drunk.
Why am I yelling this like a frat boy? Ah! I can't wait to have to call an Uber. I'm going to call an Uber guys. I may
even fax a lift to see if they'll come grab me. Jalo. Gialo. You can find us on Facebook or
wherewolf ambulance ambulance, Twitter wherebulance. Thanks so much to everyone who's been telling
their friends about us. Yeah, please keep telling your friends. I like your friends. They're nice. We do have, we got buttons, we the their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I mean th. I mean th. I mean th. I may th. I may th. I may thi thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I m th. I mean thi to thi the to thatea. I mean thatea. I mean that. I mean tha. I mean tha. I mean tha. I mean tha. I mean tha. I mean thi. I so much to everyone who's been telling their friends about us. Yeah, please keep telling your friends.
I like your friends.
They're nice.
We do have, we got buttons made a while ago that we need to get out to the world.
We should send these to people.
Yeah.
You guys, how do we give you a button?
Can we fax it to. Let us know. You can probably send us an email. I'll start checking the email again. Where will Fambulance at Gmail.com? You can direct message us on Facebook or on Instagram.
You can do that to you. Oh, you can send messages on Instagram? About that? Can you call
an Uber from there? You can call an Uber? You can fax your Tony Hawk to get a lift. What? Your Tony Hawk? Yeah. Your Tony Hawk? Yeah, the game station where you play the game game game game game game game game game game game game game game game the game game the game game the game the game the game the game game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the Tony Hawk. Perhaps on the internet.
Whoa!
That blew my mind more than Cisperia.
So, uh, thanks so much for listening to another episode of
Whewulf Ambulance.
Bye.
Bye.