Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 249- Creepshow 2 (1987)
Episode Date: October 7, 2019In this week's episode, we're revisiting an old friend we haven't seen since Episode 21 with "Creepshow 2" except now the old friend is weird and like, kind of matted and gross and after awhile you st...art to feel like maybe reuniting wasn't the greatest idea. Special topics for your consideration include: some confusion over what actually constitutes beautiful hair, misplaced confidence, a cautionary tale for aspiring filmmakers, being surprised at actually knowing things and a few things we love: 80s animation, T-tops and Tom Savini. If you like anthologies, you can check out Episode 21- "Creepshow," Episode 68- "Trick r Treat," Episode 102- "Holidays," Episode 132- "Tales from the Darkside" and Episode 178- "The Twilight Zone." Please also go check our our YouTube companion episode for this week, in which we perform a table read and taste test another flavor of Oreos. While you're at it, please subscribe to our channel--you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/c/werewolfambulance Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Katie. It's my fault, isn't it? I think I suggested it. You did. Yeah. It has Tom Savini in it.
Yeah.
Unrecognizable Tom Savini.
I recognize it.
And no voice from Tom Sveini.
It's a different actor doing the voice.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
He's the creep show, too. very excellent film that we covered early on in this podcast directed by George Romero written by Stephen Kang himself looks great looks unreal so
fun so fun such a fun movie this one I don't know what happened how much
time elapsed between the two creep shows do you know this one came out in what 87 I
think so in the original
I'd been looking let's see do you think we. And the original... 82? Let's see.
Do you think we're right about either of those?
It's definitely 87.
Okay.
Uh, 82.
Oh, damn.
We're like to pop up.
See, we do know our stuff.
Hi-five.
What did, uh, slam dunk?
That's a great movie. Yeah.
Um, so this is not directed by George Romero.
No.
And just inspired by stories by Stephen King.
Yeah, I think George Romero were the screenplay, though, didn't he?
He did.
It's not good.
It's not.
It's actually bad.
We mall, as they say.
It is bad. It is bad. Spoiler alert for the ratings phase. This movie is straight up bad.
So bad. Let's get into the first segment.
Well, the first segment, the opening the wrap-around of the little kid chasing the
fucking delivery truck to get the comic book. Yeah. Yeah. The comic book that is the last movie movie movie. It is the the th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is the th. It's the the the th. It's the the the th. It's the th. It's the the th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. It is th. It is th. It's thi. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is bad. It is th. It is bad. It is bad. It is bad. It is bad. It is bad. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. It is the the that. It is the that. It is that. It is that. It is that. It is that. It is thi. It is thi. It is the little kid chasing the fucking delivery truck to get the comic book.
Yeah. The comic book that is the last movie? Right. I mean I like that animation a
lot because that really calls up my childhood for me because it looks just like
G. I Joe or Masters of the Universe. This style of animation I really enjoy, it just like tickles a little happy part of my brain. 100% and I think that's the only good part of this movie. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the comic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.... I...................... I.. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. animation I really enjoy. It's just like tickles a little happy part of my brain. 100%
And I think that's the only good part of this movie.
I like the Tom Savinie creep makeup. Yeah, I think it looks really cool. He's like humanoid, but not like
He's not a monster. No, but he's not a man. No, no, it's kind of gobblingy. He's good. Yeah, no, that's that's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. That's kind. that's kind. that's kind. that's kind. that's kind. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. the. the. the., yeah. All right. We're off to a good start, creep show, too.
But then like, as soon as the opening credit start, it stops being animated and it's just still comic book panels?
Yeah.
I was like, are you fucking kidding?
You didn't like that?
No, I did not like that. I didn't mind. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I didn't. I didn't mind. I didn't. I. I didn't. I didn't. I. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, the. As, the. As, as, as, as soon. As, as, as, as, as, as, as soon. As, as, as, as soon. As, as, as, as soon, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, then we go into the creep introduces the first vignette, which is
old chief wooden head. Oh boy, with the guy from Naked Gun. Oh George Kennedy? Yeah, yeah. He's like the chief.
Is he the chief in naked gun? I mean, is he? I don't remember much about naked gun.
Well, that's weird.
He always plays a kind of dopey guy.
Yes, he's the captain from Naked Gun.
This also has for fans of Mind Hunter.
Fucking Holt, McElhaney.
He is the guy from Mind Hunter. Yeah, he's Bill Tench from Mind Hunter? Fucking Holt, McElhaney? He is the guy from Mind Hunter?
Yeah, he's Bill Tench from Mind Hunter.
Gotcha.
And he's playing a young Native American man.
He is not a Native American.
By any stretch of the imagination, I don't care how much bronzer you put on him.
Or that fucking dick shit wig.
His hair looks so good.
Why, you know, there is something incredibly wrong
about the idea that they wrote the screenplay about how beautiful his hair was. Then they bought that
wig, then they put it on his head, then no one said, I think we have a problem. But the thing that really,
really, really, uh, really irks me is that earlier the movie you see two young very attractive
indigenous men who could have played that role.
Any anybody who was Native American could have played that role better than
built-inch. Yeah, it was a different time. I mean, it's but the other Native American
character who's prominently featured is a Native American man. Yeah.
Why did you think we wouldn't notice?
Although I had to do some research because his name is Frank Salcedo.
Oh yeah.
And I was like, uh-oh, I'm fucking getting ironized coded here.
Hold on one second.
He's Native American.
He's Native American. Yeah. Yeah.
So this vignette is about a very, very nice older couple who own a general store in a very
dusty place.
Yeah.
I'm so glad I don't live somewhere that it's dusty.
And also I'm shocked that Stephen King came up with something that wasn't in Maine.
I honestly could not think of another, off the top of my head, Stephen King's story
that takes place in the Southwest.
No.
I didn't know he was aware of it. Stephen King's story that takes place in the Southwest. You?
No.
No.
I didn't know he was aware of it.
Maybe the stand gets out there at some point.
They're going across America.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah, maybe he was just thinking of like dusty Maine.
Yeah.
Just a dusty part of Maine.
Yeah, I was afraid that, uh, what is it, Margaret, Martha?
Of course it's Martha, what the fuck else with the whole lady?
But like, at one point when she starts talking about money and the people that live in town,
I was like, oh, she's getting Maga here.
She's getting a little sketched.
But luckily, she gets killed early on. I mean, yeah.
So they own this general store.
There's a wooden Native American statue out front that you would have seen in sick.
Why were they always in cigar stores?
Why is that what they're called?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I always think about the one from something wicked this way comes.
Yeah. Being fun, better than knowing things.
Exactly.
And we don't know.
No.
If you know, good for you.
This gives the fan something to Google on their own time.
Do your research.
I'm not going to do it for you.
We're here to him
and they're pals or whatever, who cares.
You gotta have your war paint, chief.
I gotta put your war paint on your chief.
And then a Native American man comes to him with a pouch full of his people's treasures
that he wants the shop owner to hold on to while they still owe him money because they would
rather be borrowers than beggars, I think.
Yeah.
And it's actually like a really touching scene.
He's like, don't make us big.
It would be really insulting.
You're just letting us borrow from you.
Yeah, because the guy doesn't want to be to forgive the dad, I guess. He has these treasures and then in bursts, three ruffs, youths, yuts.
So confusing by why these three kids are hanging out together.
They are very different people.
Would you like to describe them?
Well you've got the Native American gentleman played by Holt McLeany, Sam White Moon, and then his friend,
Fat Stuff Gribbons.
Oh my god.
He's like a slobby, jamming food into his face, grosso.
Just like licking pudding off his finger.
Just nasty boy.
Yeah, he's a nasty boy.
Remember the nasty boys from the WWF?
He's a nasty boy.
And then is it Andy?
Is Andy the other guy that's hanging out with him?
I don't know, his name's Cavanaul,
which is always a rich kid name.
And he's the one who has the, uh, the Camaro with the T-Tops. Yeah, I fucking love teetops though, I'll tell you what. Yeah, so cool. When it starts raining and you have to scramble to put them back in.
But don't plan for the rain, just live for the sunshine. Live for the sunshine.
T-tops. Fat stuff gribbins. I mean, it's like... That's his name. I mean, it's like... That's his Christian name. George Romorrow-T. George. George. George. George. George. George. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. G. G. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George. George R. George. George R. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. G was like, oh, that's his name. Right?
Can I call him grubbins?
No, that's like right on the nose, George. How about gribbins?
So they bust it and they're gonna, they're gonna steal stuff like bazooka bubblegum.
Yeah.
I love it when Andy just has the thing of potatoes that he's slowly dumping on the floor. And I was like like like like like like like like like this like this this this this this this this this this this is like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thiol-I thi. thi. thiol-I thiol-I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's that's, that's that's th. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's, that's that's like, that's that's's slowly dumping on the floor. And I was like, this is like an allegory for this film.
Oh my God.
This film is just slow potatoes falling on the floor.
It really is.
It's just floor potatoes and they just got there so gently.
Sam White Moon is also wearing all denim but no shirt.
It's just such a weird look. Oiled to the hilt. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like look. Oiled to the hilt, like,
I cannot overstate how bad the wig is. Oh, it's the worst. It's one of the worst things I've
ever seen in a movie. It should be covered with a witch hat. And like, it should be covered
with a witch hat and it should have been bought a Dollar General. And it's just like, they they have all these lines about how beautiful he is going to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be, to to to be, their, to be, their, their, to be, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the w. the w. the w. their, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their it's just like, they have all these lines
about how beautiful he is and how his hair is going to take him to Hollywood.
And it's like, nobody thought this was a film-making problem.
He does have a, he's got stunning cheekbones.
Sure. Yeah. Handsome man. Not saying he isn't.
The hair, a big deal is made of the hair.
This hair is so beautiful. The hair's going to give me to Hollywood. No, no, sir. Is it? It is not. So, well, we forgot when Ben White Moon was leaving, you might have
have mentioned it and I was thinking about something else. Ben White Moon, when he's leaving, he's like
turns to the chief and he says some sort of like goodbye to him and the chief nods the wooden cigar Indian nods and I'm just like okay. Had it ever moved
before do you think do you think I just don't okay let's just get through this
and then we can talk about theories. Ben White Moon did not seem taken aback by he's like he did he see it nod? Yeah okay so he did it was like a look of like oh okay do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do that that that that that that that's do that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Do. that. that. that. that's that's like. that's that's that's just just that's just that's just th. that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's likeack by it. He's like, all right. Did he see it not? Yeah, yeah. Okay.
There's like a look of like, oh, okay.
Do you think that's just white people saying that Native Americans are always drunk?
I just think I definitely think it's insane that they're all magical.
Fair.
So, you know, what you can imagine is going to happen happens. Sam White Moon and his thine thine th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th the, the, the, them, them, thi, thi, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, them, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th seems th seems th seems th seems th seems thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, thin, the thin, the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, Stuff and Andy, are holding up the store and
like things get a little out of hand. Or maybe this was the intention all along, I don't
know, but they shoot Martha and then they shoot, his name isn't George is it? His name is
Ray. Ray. Woof. I was going to say that's a dodged bullet, but no, he didn't.
What I love is that he shoots Martha in the stomach with a shotgun.
And I don't know what you know of shotguns.
Well, it's a very close range.
They explode things.
And she gets hit and then slow trickles of blood come out.
It's like, oh, it's just like the potatoes on the floor. It just like, peep, beep, and then th. And then th. And th. And th. And th, and th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thiiiiiiiiiii's, thiiii's, thii's thi's thi's thi, thi like the lightest shotgun. It's just like falls out just like the potatoes on the floor.
Just peep, peep, beep.
And then she looks shocked and dies.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think a point blank range with a shotgun to the gut
is gonna be a mess that no one will be able to clean up
and they'll have to burn the building to the ground. As Sam White Moon says, I will th. th. th. th. th. th. thu, I thu, I thu, I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I thus, thus, thus, th-I th-I th-I th-I thi, thi, th-like, th-I th-I thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- didn't pump the shot cut enough. I don't know. Is that how it works? Is it like a
Super Soaker? Yes, okay
So then he kills Ray. Of course. And Ray slums over more potatoes. The store just little silly with potatoes and then they steal the riches? Yeah, the jewels. Yeah
$10,000 worth he says. So they are gonna run away from home and go to Hollywood th???????? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th th th th th th th th th tho th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. Is is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is it th. Is it th. Is it th. Is it th. Is it th. Is it th. Is it? is th. Is it? is th. Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is th. Is th. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is the jewels. Yeah. $10,000 worth, he says. So they are going to run away from home and go to Hollywood.
And the rich kid, like, sneaking out of his house is like really depressing to me somehow.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know why.
Well, it's the whole his family's paying attention to TV and not him. That's not why, I don't think. It's like, I don't know. I'm a rich kid who gets
everything he wants and then I'm going to drive my teetops to, after murdering an elderly couple.
No, that's probably why it's depressing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like, when they're leaving the
store and Sam shoots, Chief Woodenhead, and then we
have the arduous raising of the foot scene.
Oh my god.
It goes on for so fucking long.
I think they think it looks cool.
I guess.
Like in Jason and the Argonauts when the statue lifts its giant foot and you're like,
holy shit, that animation is amazing. This is the opposite of that.
I have seen this movie before and I assume, I think I thought back in the day that it was just somebody
in a suit. It's like animatronics doing it.
Should have gone with my original idea of it being someone in a suit.
Because then after the foot raising scene,
there's the grabbing the knife on my belt scene,
which also takes two days to get to.
They were like, this was just coming in a little short.
We're gonna have to pad this out. How much can you slow it down?
Do we still have the foot raising footage? Put it back in!
Take it to quarter speed.
It's so bad.
It's so bad.
So then predictably, the cigar store Native American statue goes around and kills the teens.
Kills Fatsa with three arrows while he's eating.
Because of course he's eating.
How does he kill Andy?
In the car, I think?
I don't know.
Yeah.
I didn't write it down.
I did write, oh, on top of his firebird.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
And then he scopsed. While Sam is like looking in the mirror talking to himself about how beautiful he is, I wish I had his confidence, you know, I wish I had any bit of Sam's confidence.
Especially with that shitty hair.
I know, my hair doesn't even look that bad.
Your hair's great.
I know, and I don't even feel good about it.
He feels great.
Why does he feel great and I feel bad? I've always told you that that that hair, that, that, that, that, that, the hair, the hair, their, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, told, to, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, to thi... to thi, too, to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to too by the way, we're having a show premiere on Shutter next month.
It's us at Hollywood.
Get in touch, Shudder, we need to film it.
Yeah, we need a lot of help to film it.
Send more cameras.
And so then we cut to Ben White Moon, Wahey up in the morning. I mean like, huh, what's going on? These jewelsules are thual jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjju. their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. We. This. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to t. t. to. to. to. toda. toda. to. today. today. to. today. today. today. today. today. ahey up in the morning. I mean like, huh? What's going on?
These jewels are back in my bed.
I'm going to go to the store, which is all fucked up.
And Chief Woodenhead has the scalp in his hand of Ben's nephew, Sam.
Ben does not go inside to see what happened to the owners.
What does he do, Alan? He gets back in his car and drives away. Yeah, with like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the th. th. th th th th th th th th th th to th to to to to to to to to th the the ja, I thoom to to to to to to the ja, I the jews the jews the jews the ja, I the ja, I the ja, I the ja, I the ja, I see what happened to the owners. Yeah. What does he do, Alan?
How he gets back and his car and drives away.
Yeah, with like a pleased, like, well, that's all taken care of, look on his face.
Like, what goes around, comes around.
And I was just like, oh, not going to do anything?
All right, buddy. No, can it go in there and like, check on your friend, th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, and th, th, and th, and th. th. to, to, and th, and th, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, ta, and ta, and ta, and t's, and ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. Yeah, ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta, ta who was your friend and his wife. Why?
Wouldn't have got it.
Wouldn't have got it.
Wouldn't it's take care of everything.
It's fine.
What?
I mean, what the fuck?
Can I tell you the worst part of it?
This is the best one.
It is downhill from here.
Oh, the next one, the next one in my memory was the scariest one.
Sir. It is lightly the plot of a book that I read in the last couple of years
called The Ruins and I think they made a movie of it but I did not see the movie
I was I've often thought that we should do the movie on here. Maybe we will.
It's real bad. Oh I'm sure. You know what else is real bad? The book. And you know what else is real bad?
This is the segment. This story is in
Skeleton crew maybe, monkey business, one of those Stephen King collections. You're just saying things.
Ah, funky monkey, one of those things that...
Um, bell kitties. Um, bell kitties. Um, gray dogs.
Cream tongue.
Wolf nipples.
I'm just picking words off of this bookshelf.
Flesh eater, more brains.
Uh, 12,000 chords for the guitar.
Satanic homicide, that actually sounds real.
Those are your things, huh?
That's my life.
Yeah, that's how I live.
These are the attic books.
Sure, sure, these are the show books for now.
Right.
Oh, the sound and the fury, huh?
Sorry, I'm actually upstairs reading dark forces.
There's like a shelf and a half of Tolkien books up here.
I do see that. Yeah, they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were th th th th th th th. T th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They thathea. That thathea. That's tha. That's thathea. That's that. That's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That's. That's. th. th. th. That's. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. It's tha. tha. It's th. It's th Tolkien books up here. I do see that.
Yeah.
They were banished to the attic.
So this second segment raises a question for me.
Because in the first one, the family is watching a television show with Poncho and Cisco
in it.
Right.
And then in the second segment, the very hunky gentleman keeps referring to his friend as Cisco or as one of them.
And I'm like, in 1987, Poncho and Cisco still banging it out?
I don't think so, especially not for like a hunky, hunky young man.
No. Hunky young man, Nispedo. Yeah, I mean that is probably actually the best part of this movie is just objectifying
that man.
He's very hunky.
He's very hunky, but he's also terrible and he flips a switch so quick on his girlfriend.
Oh my god.
It's zero to 60, it's ridiculous.
So this is a story about 14s that are going to go smoke weed on a raft.
There's a linehea thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th th th a line that they say that I am absolutely stealing for my life which is I feel a need, a need for weed. There is no way that is
not my new life's motto. Had a friend who said that in high school. God damn it!
Yeah. And they're better than me. That's not true. Sam's got better hair.
you're their friends got better lines one. I literally said you have better hair than
name. We both know that's not true. You're better than Pete was. It's my buddy in high school.
Pete. Pete. He's probably listening. Hey Pete. I bet. I'm better than you. Better than you, Pete. Yeah. Also the a friend indeed is a friend with weed. That's from lepricon in the hood. That's from lepriccon in the head. I the head. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. than you, Pete. Yeah. Also, the, a friend indeed is a friend with weed.
That's from Lepricon in the Hood.
A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
Someone asked us to stay on social media if there's an episode that we sing as much as we do in the, whatever happened to baby Jane. Oh my god, I forgot about that. I was like, I don't think so. But, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's from that's from the the the the the the the the the the the that's from that's from that's from that's from that's from that's from that's from that's from that's sing as much as we do in the whatever happened to baby Jane. Oh my god I forgot about that. I was like I don't think so but maybe leapt in the hood?
Maybe, maybe. Oh fuck, I forgot about all that singing. I'm writing a letter to daddy. God, that's so bad.
Can I tell you what my favorite a friend in need quote is?
A friend in need is a pest.
Bobby the brain heenan.
Yeah.
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Yeah, thanks.
Thank him.
I feel the need, a need for weed.
That's the best part of this one, I guess other than the man in the speedo. I do like that. Deak, of of the need the need this is this is this is the this is this is the the this is the this is the the the the the this is his the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. I th. I th. I thi. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this one, I guess, other than the man in the Speedo. I do like that.
Deak, of course it is.
This is full name Deacon.
What's going on here?
I love that on his Speedo, he had a little contraption attached to it for his weed.
He had his marijuana cigarette stuffed in this thing.
You just had marijuana cigarette because you're everybody's papab.
It was 1987. Fair. Pass that J, buddy, let's do this.
Pass it over to Laverne, which is another character in this segment.
So these fucking four turds are going to go smoke weed on a raft because someone knows that
somebody else left the raft out when they were supposed to put it away at the end
end of the square.
Why is that good?
Why is that that that good. Why is that fun? I don't know the water's freezing cold. Yeah, there's why would you bother? No, I don't know. I, you can smoke back. You can smoke weed on the
land. Yeah, you can smoke weed anywhere. You have a car. You're smoking weed in the car.
You're smoking weed on the way to smoke weed. Like, why are you bothering? It's not fucking international water. I was like, no. No. You're you're you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're the. You're the the the the the the the the th. You can't. You can't. You can, you can't smoke, you can't smoke, you can't smoke. You can't smoke. You can't smoke. You can't smoke, you can't smoke. You can't smoke. You can't, you can, you can, you can, you can, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. You, you. You, you. You, you. You. You, you. You, you. You, you. You, you. You. You, you. You, you. You, you th. You, you th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You can't. You can't smoke. You can't smoke, you can't smoke, you can't smoke, you can't smoke, you can smoke, you can smoke, you can smoke, you can smoke, you can smoke, you can smoke, you can smoke, you're smoking. You're the. You I was so mad at the one girl who doesn't take off her clothes
to swim out there. I was like, what does does take them off once she gets on the rack?
Yeah, what are you doing? You fucking idiot! I guess they needed to have a sweatshirt out
there for the other girl to have so that they could be, she could be sexually assaulted assaulted later. I literally thought she'd frozen to death. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, is, is that, is that, is that that that that that th. I was like, is th. I was like, is th. I was like, is that's th. I was like, is thi, thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, death. And I was like, is that why she's not waking up? There's no way you wouldn't wake up.
That's the worst.
That's disgusting.
First of all, when I look at a body of water and there's something out there rippling and
eating a bunch of ducks, I'm not getting the fucking water.
Yeah, that poor duck.
I didn't does that even happen?
I don't know? I... I...
So, they swim out. It's freezing cold. Everyone's cold when they get on the raft to smoke their marijuana's. And immediately, the
mousy lady gets eaten by the oil slick.
Oh yeah, there's an oil slick.
It's made out of garbage bags and brains.
It's perfectly round, they say.
It doesn't look to be.
It's not perfectly round.
Are oil slicks purple?
I don't know.
I don't believe in oil slick, says Deak. I love Deak. Except when he like hits his girlfriend.
Oh my god. Can I tell you the note I have written about this this segment? Yeah. This is
unspeakably bad.
Missy did confirm that she was like, oh I remember reading this story and being creepy when I was a kid.
Sure. I was like, yeah, I can see that, for sure.
I mean, something in the water and you're trapped in the middle of it and you can't get
away from it without getting in the water where it is, is a very creepy sentiment.
It is played out in this segment, like garbage.
It is so bad. The thing starts coming up through the boards the boards the boards the boards the boards the boards the boards the boards the boards to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the thing starts coming up through the boards and it gets deek.
Takes our hunky eye candy away. I know, like I have any reason to keep watching.
I did like that when they pulled him under, there was a fake leg to make it look like he had been folded in half.
I liked that actually. Maybe I did like that. Yeah.
Which then leaves us with, uh, the fucking sexual assault guy. Yeah, and Lavern. Who starts sexually assaulting Laverne after she falls asleep.
He wakes up, she's asleep, and he's like,
Ha ha ha.
Time to get some titties.
I fucking hated this so much.
It's disgusting.
It's, why is it, it has nothing to do with anything. No. We don't need to feel anything for them because they're all, you know what, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to the the to too, the too, too, too, too, to to to to to to to to to to to to to in this, there was a thousand other ways to do it. She could have jumped in topless.
A woman in the next segment is visiting a jiggolo.
There's a great way to get titties in your movie.
Fuckin' Christ, anyway.
I feel like I just don't hear the word jigolo enough of my love.
I know.
I don't think you do.
I don't think you do.
I have that one album when she sang in phonetic Spanish with it's amazing.
Oh my God.
Anyway, Laverne, as she's waking up, realizes that the sludge or whatever has come up and is eating her face.
It is. Why didn't it do any of this while they were sleeping? It had, I mean, it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't it didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It's that it didn't. It's that it didn't. It's that it didn't. It's that it didn't. It's that it didn't. It's that it didn't. It's that. It didn't. I that. I that. I don't. It's. I that. I don't. I that. I that. I that. I. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's eating her face. It is. Why didn't it do any of this while they were sleeping?
It was, I mean it didn't want to be rude.
It's not like that fucking shithead that's fucking assaulted her.
It's like she's sleeping, just let her be.
She's so peaceful.
So Dickhead drives, dives in the water, last we see of him is the stuff coming up out of the water and eating him
Like a tidal wave and then a sign in the bushes that says no swimming like I'm supposed to be fucking Surprised by that like no swimming? I'm like that's a big shocker like I knew they weren't supposed to be there from the jump. Oh my god, it's so fucking. Oh, they're the fucking. Oh, no shi. Oh, it. Oh, it. Oh, it's. Oh, it's the the the the the the the the the s. Oh, it's the the the s. Oh, it's the s. Oh, it's the s. Oh, it's the s'. Oh, it's the s' the s' the s' the s' their. their. the s' the s' the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the s. the s. the s. the s. the s. the s'. the s' the si. the si. the si. ti. ti. S. S. ti. Sine. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. their sign. the ss. the si. the si. the si. the si. the places that I've swum in that were no swimming zones, fuck off of that sign, it's not spooking anybody.
No, shit, no swimming!
They should have read it!
So that's probably the worst one of the two, of the three.
Oh no, no.
Oh no?
The next one has such good urban legend aspect to it.
And that's the only thing that's giving it. All, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, oh, the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the next, the next, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the the th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the thi, the the the the thi, the thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the to it. And that's the only thing that's giving it. So this
one, oh we've had the wrapper on segments now, Little Billy has bought Venus Flytrap
and then the bullies in the neighborhood have unwrapped his Venus Flytrap and
smatched it on the ground. When the one bully's holding it up it looks like he just has a
scrote in his hands. It's just swinging nuts. Just swinging nuts. Can I tell you something something something something something something something something something something something something something? so? so this? so this? so this this? so this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this one, so this one, so this, so this, so this, so this one, so, so this one, so this one, so this one, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so this one, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th, so th th, so th th, th, th, this one, thi, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, so this one, so th. When the one bully's holding it up, it looks like he just has a scroat in his hands. It's just swinging nuts. Can I tell you something?
Sons of bullying hit me a little harder now. Make me feel sadder, yeah. Yeah. I felt for Billy.
This cartoon character, in between these terrible segments. And then I was like, don't don't try to make me fucking feel movie. This cartoon character end soon to be murderer the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. toy. tool. toy. toy. toy. toy. t t t t t t t t toy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Murderer. Yeah, well. That's true. They mess with the plant.
So now we're in the hitchhiker segment. Oh my god, I just want to say, this is reprehensible, it's so bad. It's the right. It's so lazy. It's just so fucking lazy. It's a fine story. It's a fine urban legend. Yeah. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's the the way. It's the. It's the. It's the the the the the f. It's the f. It's the f. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's the way. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's so lazy. It's just so fucking lazy. It's a fine story.
It's a fine urban legend.
It's so lazy.
I remember this being so creepy when I was a cute.
You have to be kidding me.
No, I was a real dumb when I was younger though.
We all were, I guess.
I mean, I would have been like 14 when I saw this.
Okay, yeah.
I'll accept that. I'll accept that. So, lady at the jiggle,
titties. Yeah. Six orgasms referenced.
150 bucks. 150 bucks for six. It's good for six orgasms.
25 a pop, as she says to herself in her car where we, she delivers all of her dialogue, because it's so fucking lazy. Why is she so mad about a digital clock?
I don't know.
Get a wind-up clock?
I don't like the way they sound.
They remind me to school bills.
Why is the clock in her car?
the clock in her car?
Oh yeah, she's in the air forces.
Oh, yeah.
The thing that really bothers me about this is that she is just narrating her thoughts while driving in her car. First of all, nobody does that.
And second, it's just such a lazy way to move a story.
I assume that's what everybody who I see talking on the phone in the morning is doing.
Of course he won't be late.
He's never late.
Not George Lansing.
Every day I end up yelling, who the fuck are you people talking to to to to to to to to the the the to the to th.
day I end up yelling who the fuck are you people talking to at 730 in the morning. Don't call me I don't want to talk to you. I don't know.
And she's like she starts smoking as you do. As you do. As you do. And she drops
the cigarette between her legs. You don't want to do that. And accelerates. Why does no one ever just step on the god damn breaks and movies? I don't know. I don't know. I. I. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't want to to to to to to to th. I don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't want th. I don't want to th. I don't want to the. I don't want I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I do like that while she's driving, this ridiculous ass murder she wrote music is playing.
It is so jaunty. It's so fanciful the score. It doesn't make any fucking sense.
I know. I was like, is Jessica Fletcher going to solve this shit and
tell me what's going on. If only Angela Lansbury showed up. It's just painful
to watch. You guys aren't going to believe this but she hits a hitchhiker with
her car. Then I know what you did last summer happens. She drives away because she saw
other headlights and then Stephen King stops his truck.
He cannot do this.
He's done it a lot.
I know.
And the man is a national treasure.
And the man is a national treasure.
And he can't fuck this movie up.
No, it's true. He can't make it any worse.
He doesn't. He does not make this movie any worse. If anything, when he shows up, you're like, hey, hey, there he is. It's my friend.
It's my friend. What's up, Steve? How you doing, buddy? Loving the tweets. He's real good on the Twitter. He's pretty good, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's a truck driver. Just yelling. the he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a truck driver. Just yelling, wait, I have a question.
Sure.
The man that finds the hitchhiker, is that her husband?
Oh, you're giving away the reveal at the end.
Yeah, it's her husband, yeah.
Is that a reveal?
Yeah. Why does that matter that it's her husband?
Because her husband saw the awful thing that she did. But he didn't see her. I don't, I mean, exactly.
Like, it's the fucking laziest, like, amnight shovel-on twist that's ever happened.
I mean, I don't even think it's a twist.
I think they just didn't have another action.
And they were like, well, we'll have the husband find her.
And everyone's like, well, why does that make sense? do it? No, you're not. You can't deliver a line. You know I can't drive, Rick? Speaking of, I loved when she was driving around and you could tell the stunt
driver was like a man with a heavy set man with heavy brows and like a Burnett
curly wig and it looks nothing like her and they just keep showing him! I love that.
He looks so determined. I love that that Mercedes could be an ATV. Oh my God. I love
that that Mercedes is still drivable at the end. If you hit Mercedes into a tree like six to eight
times. I feel like it's not going to go get you all the way home. I mean I feel like
that's just you know speaks to the power, the engineering of a Mercedes. German engineering. Yeah they really nailed it. Yeah. They??? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I that. I that. I that. I that. I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I the. the. the. the. the. that that that that that that that that that that that that, I that, I that, I that,. I mean, I feel like that's just, you know, speaks to the power, the engineering of a Mercedes.
German engineering.
Yeah, they really nailed it.
They're German?
Mercedes, I believe so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So she's hit the hitchhiker, she's killed him. the hitchhiker, and then, all the the the the the the the the the the the the thozy. thii. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th-i, th-i, th-i-i-i-I-s, thi-s, th-i-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-he, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi-a-a-a-a-a-s. Yeah, th-s. Yeah, th-I's, th-I'm, th-a-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm thr-I's, they's, they's of the road. Well, first his sign of where he's trying to go like floats over to her like someone's carrying it on a fishing line.
Looking janky as fuck.
Why though?
Someone was yelling, hold on. Hold on.
Hold on.
Fuck, hold on.
Gary!
I told you, I can't drive.
Hold on! God! God!
Can't any of you do your jobs?
I love that the movie just waits for the sign to get to her.
I know she just stares.
And we have to just stare as a result.
Oh my God.
Oh, the other note that I wrote that made me laugh was she's
getting off her exit and it's for Hampton and for some reason I wrote of
course she's from Hampton. I don't know what that means. Me neither. I think it's
because I was just in New England and everyone's like oh of course they're from
blah blah blah. So smug. Stop being so smug New England. Oh, fucking barnstable?
Blah.
Of course, she's from Hampton.
Can you guys hear me rolling my eyes?
I think only probably good.
I think only one's rolling, but...
Oh my god, why did we have to wait so long for the side?
I don't know.
I don't know because then we also just keep seeing the hitchhiker and he keeps going, thanks for the ride lady. And it's
you know it's fun he's kind of like all messed up and bloody on the side of
the road. Sure I do like that I guess on a on the level of something that isn't
terrible. And then he's hanging off the car, saying, thanks for the ride lady and sticking his hand through the,
why was the top of the car open?
I don't know, it seemed cold.
I don't know.
And she says to herself, you're seeing things,
bitch.
And I was like, you would never say that aloud.
Like, why?
There's so many ways.
She could have just expressed, seeing things by like
looking in the rear of your mirror shaking her head and kind of like laugh you
know cocking her head and me like ha ha ha I would get that she thought she was
seeing things maybe they were trying to cash on some of that Freddie cash
it's just like yeah welcome to driving bitch
thanks for the ride bitch
hold on I'll get it a sign to you, bitch.
Bitch!
I just feel like this movie was like,
if showing is good and telling is better,
telling everything is the best, you know?
It's weird because there were, there were supposed to be
two other segments in this movie. One of which was the cat from, uh, tales from
the dark side, right? Yeah, which is fine. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, fucking Buster
Poindexter gets a cat ripping at him and spoiler. Yeah. So good. Yeah. But yeah, like, so they've, why make the movie, why make the movie if it's not like, like, like, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, the, why, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they they they the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. tale, they. tale, tale, ta, tale, ta, tale, tale, tale, they. they. tale, they. the, the, the, the, the, the movie if it's not like it's a it's this incomplete like horseship thing that they were like stretching out these like five minute
things into 25 minute things. It's brutal it's hard to watch.
So she's she's squishing the guy's arm and blood's dropping all over and so she drives off the road he gets hit by a tree,
knocked off the car. Just like um Pee We Herman in Buffy the Vampire's Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly Exactly. Exactly Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they're they they're they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they're they they they're they they're they they're they they they're they're they they're they they they're they they they they're they they. It they. It they're they're like they're they're like they're like they're like they're like car. Just like Peeherman in Buffy the Vampire's Lair.
Exactly.
I assume it was a nod.
I would have to assume.
I got, I hope not.
It was a pre-nod.
And.
I mean, I hope Buffy the Vampire's Lair did not nod to this movie,
because it is fucking a hot pile of trash. She yells bastard a lot at the hitchhiker.
Yeah, you're the asshole here.
I mean, is this supposed to be commentary on the wealthy?
Like, what is this supposed to be a class warfare?
Like, what am I supposed to take from this?
I don't think you can dig into this one.
I don't think you're going to find any.
And there's no gold message. There's no panning to do in this film. Yeah, it's just like, no, not it,
I mean, it's so bad, it's so dumb.
So, so this goes on for, I don't know,
like you said, about 20 minutes of her being chased by the hitchhiker
and thinking he's gone and he shows him a little more messed up
because she, at one point just runs him over like four times. Yeah, on the road, yeah, yeah. And then she throws him off the car into a tree and
just hits him several times into the tree. So many times that she passed out.
So many times that she gets a head injury. She wakes up,
drives home. Uh-huh. As you do. I must have just had a dream. I must have just had a dream, which she says aloud, because otherwise how would you know that she thought it was all a dream?
Do you think they were like, all right, so we're going to do a voiceover of all your lines?
So you're going to come back and do that, she's like, you got it.
I'm going to talk him right now.
And they're like, you in voiceover it would have, all of it in voice over would have been better than her
just saying this stuff like her doing an internal monologue. Although I do
like the idea of your internal monologue mean you're seeing things bitch
bitch. It's better though it's better than her saying it out loud it really is and that's
you've never yelled you're seeing things bitch at yourself. Not in so many words. Thanks for the right, lady.
And her just hitting him over and over is like deeply unpleasant. It's not fun. No.
No. No, there's no like triumpent like Peter Jackson goryness to this or anything.
Nothing is good about it.
Just a white lady in a Mercedes killing over and over this black hitchhiker.
Uh, excuse me, film? Are you attempting to be subversive or are you just real fucking stupid?
Listen, we didn't think the unnecessary sexual assault, not that it's ever necessary.
I'm not saying that. No, no, no, sometimes sexual film. Oh my god like if you're on a raft oh my god
this might be your last chance to tou-tuties. Like what the fuck? I wish that we
had gotten to see that character just ripped to pieces. Yeah it's a shame that we
don't. Oh yeah so he eventually gets in the car again.
Thanks to the ride lady. I feel like you should say into the tin can like you did for
grizzly.
Get to the ride lady.
Better.
Huh.
And she's got a gun in the glove compartment.
Why did she not think of that miles ago?
Also, did you used to have to take your key out of the ignition to unlock your glove box?
That seemed crazy to me, because she takes the key out of the ignition and use it to open
the glove box.
What would you do if your glove box?
Why would you lock it?
Why would you're driving? Well, then you unlock it before you start driving.
But you might not know you're going to need napkins because you're eating a frosty.
Then you're going to do.
Well, you would keep the napkins in the panel compartment in the center. No, that's where you keep your tweezers. That's where you you you you you you you you th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the th, th, th, the the the the the the theezer, you the the thezer, you the the thease, you might the, you might the, you might not the, you might not the, but you might not the the, but you might the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu, but you might the the the, but you might the the, but you might thease thease thease thease thease thease thease thease thease theaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseean, but thr-nipeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseeaseean, you might tree, you might not theaseeaseeaseea, but your chaffstick, gotta keep your tweezers.
I sit in the Liberty Tunnel a lot.
Flick on my dome light, pluck my eyebrows.
I come on on the other side looking better.
Oh, I'm a disgusting person.
So she shoots the hitchhiker to death again.
He's super dead.
He's so fucking dead.
And...
Is this funny answer the sign that says you killed me?
I believe so.
You don't have to tell me, movie, I was there.
You don't have to show me. I, movie, I was there. You don't have to show me.
I already saw it, like eight times.
Help.
Hey, at least I didn't put it on a string this time.
And then we see the hitchhaker and he's like super fucking jacked up, like his skull is
split open.
He's real mushy.
And this was like Savini and Greg Nicotero and all these th.... And I. And I. And I. And I. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I was thi, and I was thi, and I was thi. And I was thi. And I was thi. And I was thi. And I was like, and I was like, and I was thi. And I was thi. And I was thi. And I was thi. And I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I thi. And I thi. And I thi. And I thi. And I, and I thi. And I thi. And I thi. And I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, thi. It was like, thi. It was like, thi. It was like, thi. It was like, thi. It was like, thi. And I was real mushy. And this was like Savini and Greg Nicotero
and all these dudes.
And I was like, word guys, this is not your best,
like, compared to like, you know,
fucking, the tongue guy,
the opening to Day of the Dead,
where he's like walking on the street, and his tongue, thii, t, t, t, the, th, th, th, and I, th, and I, like, and I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. amazing! And this was like, I'm a bloody split-open guy, not too good looking. Yeah, it looks like a Halloween costume
with like ground meat in it,
and then just like a little bit of like white,
like Elmer's glue or something, like white ooze.
It's not good.
Do they just spend all of their money on Tom Savini's makeup?
He looked great. He looked great. I he th great. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho tho the. tho tho-like, tho-like, tho-like, tho-like, th. th. th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thin. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thin. And thi. And thi. And thi. And, bloody, like, fucked up guy is one of the easiest things to make look cool for cheap, too.
Especially these, these dudes like, that's their bread and butter.
So, then the, the hitchhiker kills her in the car in the driveway now.
How does he, I don't know.
I don't think even, I don't think we even know.
Is he just like hugger to the thag herthey're just in, no, they're just in there and the car's like smoking.
Because it's all fucked up.
And then that's when the husband comes out.
Was the door closed?
Yeah. She got carbon monoxide in.
I guess. That's not very good.
No. That's very bad.
Well, that's probably why I have I have the the the the the the the the the the the the the note why I have why I have the note the note the note the note the note the note the note the like wave thing that happens to show you that time has passed?
Oh my god. Can I tell you my last note says? Yeah. Laysai.
So we've got the end of the wraparound cartoon segments where Billy has giant meanest fly traps that kill all the bullies. That was pretty cool. Yeah.
Yeah.
Other than that?
And that is Creep Show 2.
I mean, of sequels we've done, we've seen a lot of falling off, right?
Boulder Gies 2.
I think this is a worse falling off than Poudergis 1 to
Poldergize 2. I think this is the worst th is the worst th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the worst th is th is th is the worst the worst th is th is the worst th is the worst th is the worst th is thi worst thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, thi, th-I wo, that's, that's, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that is a worse, that's is a worse, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thii. thiole, thiole, thiol Would you agree? Yes. So much of that I hope never to see Creep Show 3. Although Texas Chainsaw
Massacre 2 is amazing. Oh my god. That movie is so good. The fucking chainsaw fight? Oh my god. The two chainsaw
swinging around?
But like, the first one, so good.
The first one is a modern classic.
Yeah.
The second one is a butt butt.
It's literally a butt butt.
It's two butts.
Two gross old butts. I feel like the second one is like, when someone praises you and you don't really like that person, like, the first, but, like, the first....... the first, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the first, the first, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the first, like, the first, the I feel like the second one is like, when someone praises you and you don't really like that
person, like, oh really?
Well, look what else I can do?
Bursch-oh, blah.
It's just Toby Hooper being like, fuck you.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do think this is the worst drop we've ever seen in quality of film.
No, boy.
Yeah, for sure.
It's terrible. Oh, God. It's terrible.
It. I must have like last time I watched it because I watched it maybe like 10 years ago.
Yeah, same. I didn't think it was that bad. I must have been doing other stuff. Yeah.
Maybe I was having a two-screen experience. Sure. Maybe you just had some dental work done and you were like zoning out.
Tunnel with Cody.
I mean, it just is not good.
It's a real bad.
It's really bad.
Let's go to the ratings face.
I'm there.
Give me your rating.
Three.
Ooh.
It's really bad.
And the problem is that it didn't need to be.
They had money, they had talent, like they didn't need to be this bad.
I mean, I should be a stand for this movie.
You should. It's 87, it's comic book related.
It's Tom Savini.
It's specifically horror comics, which I love the original creep show.
This has none of the charm of the original creep show.
Not a wit.
There's no, the closest we get to I want my cake is the fucking, you're seeing things,
bitch line.
And that is not that.
That's like the most memorable line from this movie.
Oh my god. It's, it's, uh, I'm gonna give it a one.
Wow.
I think it's that bad.
Like, sorry, I feel bad for thinking it's that bad, but I fucking hated it while I was
watching it.
Yeah, I was disappointed.
Oh, man.
Well, the creep show too.
Good thing I picked it, I am the worst and no one likes me. Is that your takeaway from this?
I don't want that to be your takeaway from this?
No, but maybe next week's movie, that will actually be the takeaway from it.
Because I picked it and I'm the worst and no one likes me, and I don't care.
I have never seen it, next week.
I have not seen it since I was, I'm
going to say 15. So... This must have been so nice for you when you were 15. This is a film
that is decidedly marketed at 15 year olds. Though in retrospect I am not sure that it is for me.
What movie are you talking about? I'm talking about the 1996 Reese Witherspoon Mark Wahlberg film, Fear.
You laughed so hard. You knew that's what we were doing.
Oh my, this is... It's a thriller. This is post-funky bunch? Or is he still with the funky bunch?
Okay. I could be wrong. I think it's post-funky bunch.
Fear. Fear. Not fear. Not fear.com. That is very hard to find. Is it? I wanted to do it because
Stephen Dorf. But we couldn't find it, yeah. Fear. And that will be episode 250. Yeah.
And that will be episode 250 of the podcast. Yeah, so when we like started making the schedule, I didn't think that it would be episode 250,
and I guess we could change it now, but we've already said it out loud.
It's too late because it's going to be so...
It's going to be so good.
I'm so excited.
I feel like I'm going to walk in your houseto do. Okay, we've got a slot. It's not Halloween too, is it? No, thank God. It's not. So yeah, we're
going to talk about fear. I mean watch it or don't. Oh, come the shit that we've made these people watch. It's true. This was a major blockbuster film. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of these people people. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th I'm sure a lot of these people have very fun memories.
People my age will definitely remember this movie. Yeah, for sure. The 90s do well for us.
Kids love the 90s. Yeah, and that's why they're all wearing those chokers and flannel shirts
tied around their waist. Those jelly chokers? What's going on with those? 90s, man? They're back. So yeah. You could find us on social media stuff.
Go watch our YouTube video for this episode.
We ate some cookies and did a table read.
I think it's going to be really good.
I think so too.
I hope people see it.
I'm sure I didn't giggle my way through it.
No, I think we did great.
And thanks for listening to another episode of Warwick Ambulance. Bye.
Bye. you know