Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 260- Rare Exports (2010)
Episode Date: December 23, 2019In this year's annual Christmas horror movie extravaganza, we're heading to Finland and the great wonders of snowmobiles, wolf traps and pig heads. That's right, we're discussing the 2010 film "Rare E...xports." Some other topics you may want to consider: a positive affirmation about the great outdoors being for...well, not us, perks of being lowkey terrifying, a most Pittsburgh treat and a buncha naked old Santas. Hey, are you really in the festive mood? Check out our other holiday episodes- 2014: Episode 9- "Silent Night, Deadly Night" 2015: Episode 61- "Krampus" 2016: Episode 113- "Black Christmas" (Bonus: Episode 114- "Gremlins"!) 2017- Episode 156- "Gingerdead Man" 2018- Episode 208- "Better Watch Out" Please also go check out our Youtube companion episode in which we play the game "Weird European Holiday Traditions" and also sample a brand new holiday treat! While you're watching, please subscribe to our channel--you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/c/werewolfambulance And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This may not come as a surprise to you.
The outdoor life is not for me.
No.
This movie really helps drive that point home for me.
You don't want to have to set up a wolf pit in your yard.
No, I don't want to have to set up a wolf pit in my yard with a pig head hanging over it. I don't want to do that. You don't want your
adorable child running around in boots and his underwear to accidentally fall into the wolf
thing? Oh my god, was he going to the bathroom was outside? Oh no!
I just couldn't live? Well I think he was just going to pee outside.
Oh, he there was a bathroom indoors he just didn't want to use it? Maybe or he was just
going to go, you know, dude's love peeing outside. Why? Because you get to pee outside?
That's so silly. Like that's a thrill, huh? Oh yeah, for sure. Probably in the snow too. to be thattha. thi I I I I I I I I th. too, I could see. Sure, you can write your name. Yeah. Unless your name is Thaddeus, because you're probably going to run out of pee.
Just Tad.
Just Tad.
Old Tad.
It's the holiday season.
It is.
You know what?
We're hanging in.
We're doing the best we can.
And unfortunately, like most Christmas horror movies are kind of bad as we've learned over the years. It's true.
Like a silent night, deadly night.
Oh, but better watch out the way that last year.
That was just mean.
That was a mean movie.
How did that one go?
Now I think I'm conflating that with the babysitter.
That was like the psychotic kid that was setting up his babysit. That's right. thir. the the the the their. their. their. th. thiii, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, they, they, the, the, the, the, thi, thiat-a, thiat-a, thiat, th. I was th. I was going. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. Oh, that. Oh, that's that. Oh, that's to that. Oh, that's the that. Oh, better. Oh, that. Oh, that, that, that right. Her boyfriend. Oh, that was a terrible movie. Yeah.
Crampus was fine, I guess. What else do we do? Black Christmas is a great movie.
Yeah, it's true. It's true. And... Oh, in the video I referenced, or Emogen Poots? Yeah.
She is in the remake of Black Christmas. Oh, where it's like a bunch of sorority girls,
but it's like they're obnoxious sorority girls
because it's like 2005 or something?
No, no, she's, there's a new one out this year.
Oh, you're kidding.
No.
And it's like, these girls fight back.
Oh, cool.
So they're going after. I haven't. There, they. T there, they. T, they. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. T, th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. th. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. It's, th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, like, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, like, there's a lot of internet controversy because you're not supposed to mess with the classic. Well, they already did. I swear to God, there's one in like 2009 with Lacey Chabare or something.
For sure.
Yeah.
Well, they already messed with it, just keep going.
Who cares?
Also, like, the original still exists.
Yeah, it never ruins it.
Yeah, it'sthen it fucked up the old ones. And then going after people for downloading their records. Oh man, that ruined it for all of us.
I did. What a fucking bunch of dummies. Anyway, that's her monthly talk about
Metallica. Metallica.
Metallic. So we were here to talk about rare exports from 2010.
Only took us three minutes to get the movie title in there.
A Finnish film?
You'd seen this before.
I have many times.
Many times.
Many times.
Many times.
Not as many times as I've seen the shorts that they made in 2003 and 2005.
Yeah.
Yeah. I th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thin. thiiiiiii. thin. thii. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi, you'd thi, someone linked them on our Facebook so if you are interested in watching them you can go see them. They're great. Yeah. I mean this movie is great. Yeah. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Finish people though, man. You're living hard. For sure. Do you think we have any Finnish listeners?
I hope so. I hope so too. Hello, Finns. I this film, but... It's not all above the Arctic Circle.
No.
But it is all cold this time of year.
Oh yeah.
I think most times of year, right?
I think so.
Yeah.
I think if it's not cold, it's swampy in Finland.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
But they also get to see the northern lights, so. I don't really, that's stars and shit?
No, it's the Aurora Borealis.
It's like dust particles or something, like reflecting light at night.
Oh, and they're green and blue.
It's really beautiful.
I'll look at a picture, I guess.
Yeah.
I live in Pittsburgh.
We barely see stars for the moon. So yeah, this is
the story of Santa Claus. Oh my god. Okay, so the film follows our hero Piatari. He's maybe like
seven or eight. He's a god damn adorable. His face, it looks like a cartoon drawing of an adorable child.
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't look real.
He's so cute.
He's got a delightful Bjork quality about him.
Yeah, I would agree with that.
And he lives with his father, who is a hard man.
Very hard. You have to be to live in Finland.
And it seems like has been harder since his mother died and he's raising this kid on his own to the best of his abilities question mark?
Best of his gingerbread making abilities? Oh God, this movie, I forgot how like
like sad parts of this movie are. Sure. How much it's gonna like just put its icy hand
inside your belly like a frow porch jaw or whatever. If you watch if you
want to know what that's about watch our YouTube video for this week's
episode. Just stuff your tumb tub with garbage. Just take your tummy out put
some garbage in. Thanks frowl pork jaw or whatever. Yeah no there's a lot of
depressing stuff like the kid's best friend is a few years older and really mean to him. Yeah and has a mullet and a d pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork pork th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If you th. If th. If th. If th. If you th. If th. If th. If th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the the the the the the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thooooooooooooo. the. the. th. If you friend is a few years older and really mean to him. Yeah, and has a mullet and smoke cigarettes. And it's a dangle earrings? Yes, he does. Was that a feather?
I think it might have been a feather. I might have been a feather. Yeah, yeah.
Oy, oh, he's a pretty cool guy. You like you so? He was a real dick to Pietta list of children who'd been taken later, other bad kids. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So Piatari is like suspicious of Santa?
Sure. Okay. I mean if you think about it, Santa Claus is fucked up. Because he breaks
into your house? And he keeps a list of who's naughty and nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Come on, Santa Claus.'s very subjective. Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You think Santa Claus can be bought?
Is that white people leaving milk and cookies?
For sure.
Geez.
It's so capitalist of us to be like,
what can we do to get you to do?
Did you leave carrots for the reindeer?
You're bribing them too?
Not to shit on your lawn, presumably. I always thought of it as just like a tip. Yeah, that's cute. Actually.
Like for service. Yeah, they're working hard too. Harder than him, presumably.
Did you, um, did you believe in Santa Claus as a kid? For sure. Okay.
I remember finding out that he was in real. Oh, buddy. Were you really sad? Did you feel
betrayed? I ask because I'm trying to figure out what to do with my kid. Not that I remember,
but it's the same, it's around the same time that I stopped believing in God. Yeah. Well,
well, yeah. Santa and Jesus are inextricably linked in my mind. Because when I was a kid, my mom would be like,
Santa's watching you around Christmas for like good behavior.
But then in the off season, she'd be like,
Jesus is watching you.
And I was like, they are the same mythical being.
I don't get it.
They're both creeps.
Keep your eyes.
I know, but at least Jesus could heal the sick and stuff. He's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. He's just just. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the the. the the the the the the the. the the. the. the. thea. toea. toea. to no. You'd think he'd be faster.
He was a very slim guy.
Those has those great abs, as evidenced by everything ever.
Oh, we also did Gremlins for a Christmas movie.
Oh, yeah, that's a great Christmas movie.
Yeah, it is.
I saw this listed with Gremlins.
their lists as anti-Christmasmas.
No. I think it's just that story about Phoebe Cates's dad,
dying in the chimney, which is extremely anti-Christmas.
Oh my god.
Every time I think about that, I feel so bad.
And it's one of those things that you kind of forget.
And you're like, oh, let's watch Gremelts. This movie, I think, is a little more anti-Christmas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you have the problem when you started watching this movie and everyone speaking
English that you thought you fucked up and got the not dubbed or you got the dubbed version
of it?
100 percent.
I was like, who is this Benjamin Franklin, motherfucker and why is he talking like that? And then all of a sudden the other guy pops in and he was just like a bu bu., Ebenezer Scrooge. And I was like, is this the same movie?
Am I doing this wrong?
So there's a mining company that's blowing up this mountain
to dig something out of it.
Right.
And it's something that this like, he reminded me of a, Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, the like, I can't remember the sluggo?
Slugworth.
Slugworth.
Yeah.
He reminded me of that, dude, just like, just evil dude with round glasses.
He's definitely a villain.
He's been searching his whole life for what turns.
He's been searching his life for what turns, to be Santa, which is buried in this mountain in Finland. A giant Santa? Is he giant? Do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh right, those were his horns. Right, okay, okay, okay, okay. And
supposedly there is a mountain, there's like folklore about a mountain in Finland
where Santa Claus lives. Wow. Yeah, so they kind of like incorporated that into this devilish
Santa Claus. So Piatari is suspicious of Santa Claus, though we're not really told why.
We don't really see his like growing suspicion.
We just see him with a bunch of like Santa academic texts that I don't know where he got.
But they're all saying that Santa, like Santa on a throat of skulls?
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And the art and that is so great. It's just like Scandinavians do things harder than we do.
You know?
Yeah, yeah.
We're like, look at this happy Santa.
We'll go see him at the mall.
And they're like, Santa just ripped this child's head off
because that child didn't put their shoes away.
So, I mean, perhaps put your shoes away. The whole, like, the the whole, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the whole, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the whole, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. We, th. We's, th. We's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu, thi, thi. the thi. thi. than, the the thro. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. that follows Satan around, or follows Santa around, and throws kids into a basket to take them to hell?
I love it. It's fucked up. How old do you think my kid has to be before I can tell her about
Cranpas? Right now. Okay, I'll work on it. I'll tell her when I get home. Are you tel is the Russian Santa Claus. He's all blue.
It's a long story, but she thinks that he brings presents and tickles, which is very
confusing.
Yeah.
But she loves it.
So, yeah.
It also sounds like a weird, shitty black metal dude.
She also doesn't, I didn't think this through really, but she keeps telling me what
grandfather Frost was going to bring her.
And it's shit that I have certainly not purchased for her.
Like she was like, Grandfather Frost,
bring Lucy, yellow nail polish.
And I was like, ew, I'm not buying yellow nail polish, you gross out.
Is it 2003?
Yeah.
I guess this is how we'll learn about disappointment. And then that's how she th how tho's how she'll learn about terror. So the people doing the dig find out that
there's this giant ice box basically in the mountain which they've packed in
Santa Claus in this giant ice block with sawdust. Do we under do we know who packed
him in there? Just old time you finish people? Okay, got. Yeah, they trapped Santa Claus. And the kids kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll their. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. I I I I I I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. toge. te. te. te. their. their. their. their. People. their. People. their Santa Claus. Right. And the kids see them blow the top
off the mountain and I love that the smoke looks like a behorned Santa Claus. Yes. I also love that we see
them watching this happen like towards the top of the mountain and then in the next scene they're at the bottom like literally on the ground and I was like, God you get down so fast. They they. They they they they they they they they they they they they they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just. They just. They just. They just like. They just like. They just like. They just like. They just just like. They're just like. They just like. They just like. They just like. They just just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just just. they just. they just just. they just just. they just just. they just. they just. they just. they just. they just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just. They just just. They just just. They just. they just just just. they just just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they're just. they just. they just. they. they. they. they mountain. I guess. But yeah I love the drawings in those books. They're like,
you've seen like the traditional like crampus cards and stuff and they reminded me of that stuff.
Very spooky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I want, is this appropriate for like kids to see this movie? Probably no. It's probably too spooky. I mean the kid's dad is going to kill a man. So to cover up the fact that he fell. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the. the. the. the. the. tode. the, the, the, the, the, they. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the probably too spooky. I mean the kid's dad is going to kill a man, so to cover up the fact that he fell into his illegal wolf trap, so probably not.
The moral compass of dad and friends? I do not understand it. I guess when you live, you know, in the middle of nowhere and you have to survive,
things get fuzzy, but they're really fuzzy. Yeah, I feel like murder is a hard thing to fu us over. It it. It it. It it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the. the. the, the. the, the. the, the. the, the, the. the, the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to. tttttttttttttttttog. ttttttttttog. ttttttog. to. to, to. to. to. to, to. really fuzzy. Yeah, I feel like murder is a hard thing to fuz over. It is.
It also like the Santa that they catch or the elf that they catch
bites the one guy's ear off.
And they're like, eh.
He's like, it bit my ear off.
And they're like, yeah, it did.
Like, if that happened, you know what I mean?
Like, we would lose our th go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go that happened, you know what I mean? Like, we would lose our goddamn minds.
Yes, for sure.
Dad's butchering pigs, and our protagonist will not look at the butchering of pigs.
He's creeped out by it.
Yeah, I thought that was very sweet.
Him like creeping into the pig-butchering area. Yeah, I appreciated like how hard dad is, but he was still like, like, like, a, like, thi- like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, like, like, like, like, that was very sweet. Him like creeping into the pig butchering area. Yeah.
I appreciated like how hard dad is, but he was still like okay with his son, like being
not okay with stuff.
Yeah, you're right.
Forcing him not to look at gross shit.
But he also like takes him in a pickup truck with a man in a cage in the back, so there's a lot of things that he's kind of tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that he's thi thi thi that he's that he's that he that he that he that he that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's that he's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I I I I I I I I I I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi that tho tho-I that tho-I tho-I that tho-I theeeeeeat theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thi. I the back. So there's a lot of things that he is kind of exposed to that aren't necessarily appropriate. So they were going to do a like a
reindeer call where they heard all in the reindeer and then they slaughter them
and they get all this money for them but all the reindeer have already been
killed. Yeah. By it we find out Santa Claus. Which by the way are elderly naked men. A lot of old man dick in th thia thia thia thic th. Yes th. Yes th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're they're they're they're they're are are are are are are they're are are are are are are are they're are they're are they're are they're are they're are they're are they're they're they're they're they's is. They's is. They's is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. A lot of old man dick in this movie.
Yes.
I watched it with Rob and he was like, whoa.
How much old chubby man dick did you want to see this weekend?
Because if the answer is about an hour and 23 minutes worth, this movie is for you.
I do love that it's an hour and 23. It's like, get in, get out. Yeah, yeah. I also like when the dad is, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, the the the th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the the the the the the th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. th. th. I th. th. th. I watch, th. I watch, th. I watch, th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I do love that it's an hour and 23. It's like get in, get out. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I also like when the dad is, um, he makes the trap and then he's kind of just sitting
there looking at it. Yeah. He cuts the apple right in half with a knife and then just starts chomping it.
And I was like, God, you're so hard. Everything you do is soete too, like... Only hard people cut apples like that.
I have like a little circular thing that I put on top and push it down and they go, who
all into like eight pieces, you know?
I'm not hard.
I definitely use a leatherman to eat apples, but I'm not hard.
No, you don't.
You do not eat maniac.
I just leather. Everyone's so scared of you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. thi. tooo. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. thi. thi. I work. Everyone's so scared of you.
Why does no one talk to me at work?
Yeah, that's why.
The secret Santa for you, they just like, just, just, I don't even know what's.
Just skip it.
They were like, maybe next year.
I did have a co-worker once say to me, do you realize how scary looking you are? And I said, that's not a cool
thing to say to somebody. No, it's not, because you can't help it. And also every like aspect of your
appearance that you can choose is very gentle. You have like librarian glasses and like
nicely combed hair, a Santa Claus beard. Yeah, this back, this was back when I was like shaving my head down and I had a giant beard.
Yeah. So I did look like a biker. Sure. Yeah. That doesn't make you a bad person.
No, it's... And probably if you're not friends with somebody, don't tell them I think they're scary.
Yeah. You should have just, did you just like chest forward menace? I'm like growled at her? Yeah. To reveal that you are wearing vampire fangs from Halloween? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? th. I? Yeah? th. I? Yeah? th. I? Yeah? That? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? That? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. I? That? That? That? Yeah. I? That? That? That? That. Yeah? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? Like. I? That. I? That? That. I? That? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. I? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. I. I. I? Yeah. I. I? Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no, I still have these on, sorry.
I glued them to my toe they won't come off.
We did have a YouTube comment that referred to be as low-key terrifying.
Who said that?
Because I don't remember who it was, but in one of the episodes,
we were talking about people, the tattoos. And saying like, I was like, the th-I th-I th, yeah. And I like kind of like punk to the camera. So I'll take low-key terrifying.
I'll take that if it keeps people from looking at me at the pool for sure. Thank you for being my low-key terrifying friend. I don't find you that way. I'm glad. Yeah. So yeah. We eventually dad. We eventually, we eventually. We that. We that. We that. We eventually. We that. We eventually. We eventually. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I. I. I. I to. I. I tod. very thin. Yeah, that's like it was like hard to look at. Yeah.
And but like you're torn watching it because you're like feel for this dude
but he's also obviously a fucking maniac. Sure. Yeah he's fallen into this
pit that has like spikes in the bottom spiked, spiked, sticks. Yes, sticks. Yes. Like pungy sticks. Yes, that's what I was trying to say. He falls in there there there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, their there, th. There, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi's like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's, thi's, thi. thi's, thi's,, yes. Like, pungy sticks or a deal, yeah, yeah.
That's what I was trying to say.
He falls in there, there's like blood all over the place.
He's in real bad shape, but he's also so scary.
And then they show his face and you're like,
it's the face of the one of the minor guys? The guy that looked like Ben Franklin.
No, because he shows up later in the movie.
No, that was Ebenezer Scrooge.
I meant the guy with the round glasses.
No, this is just one of the, there's like,
because the whole forest is filled with Santa's elves.
I thought that they like they like turned the workers, like the workers, like the workers, like the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers the workers to to the workers Santa Clauses in the woods. So they just, in the scene where they're attacking the workers, they just kill them all.
Yeah, they slurred.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why I thought there was some sort of magical transformation that happened of
them.
I mean, it makes sense.
There's a bunch of beardes running around the woods, older than
me, but still, oh yes, much older.
A bunch of chubby bearded dudes running in the woods.
Which it turns out is fucking terrifying.
Very scary.
That, I don't know how, if this is ever, like, I think living in Philadelphia, every once a while you would see someone in some state of undress walking around the street and it's very like what do I do how do we help this person
do I run away from this person what do I do what do I do what are they're
they're a wild guard yeah when those like societal norms get like skewed
someone yeah yeah yeah it's very weird I mean I once had to sit next to a shirtless man on a 54 bus so it was summertime I was like it's air conceded their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a to be a to be a their. It's a to be a to be a to be a their. It's a their. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's very. I'm. It's very. It's very. It's th. It's. It's. I'm. It's. I'm. It's. I'm. It's. It's. It's. I'm. th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's very. I'm. I once had to sit next to a shirtless man on a 54 bus, so it was summertime.
I was like, it's air-conditioned in here.
We just rolled no backup?
Just took a shirt off on the bus.
No, it stopped him.
On the bus.
Yeah.
Sat down next to me.
to sit down next to me.
to me because what is my life?
Took a shirt off and then sit down next to you? No, sat down, took a shirt off. Oh God. Nobody stopped him.
I didn't stop him.
I was just like, well, put my headphones on.
This is my life, don't touch me with your shoulder.
Because like, what are you gonna, what am I gonna get into a fight with this guy?
No. I feel like in Philly someone would have yelled, you you, tholthat shirt back home. Yeah, I feel like in Pittsburgh it's a very, um,
well, what can we do? And that's the year that you met Santa Claus?
Yeah.
So they're torturing this dude to get, or they're going to kill him first because they think he's dead? Right, they're trying to, they're going to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put him to put him to put him to put him to put him to put him their, to put him their, to put him their, their, to their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. their. their. their, their.. their, their.. their. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their. their. to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. to-I. to. their, their. to get, or they're going to kill him first, because they think he's dead.
Right, they're trying to,
they're gonna put him through the chop,
the cut him up's machine because.
Like the meat grinder.
They feel like they have to hide the body
because the wolf trap into which he has fallen is actually illegal.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's dressed his to Santa Claus. to like, all right. Yeah, right. And he's dressed his Santa Claus.
Right, and he has cool sunglasses.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah.
Then he smells, uh, Piatari?
Right, he can smell children.
It smells children.
And they're like, oh, God. And then they just kind of want to like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toooooms. tooomorrow. to to to to to to to want to like to extort him? I'm not real sure what the goal of extorting him is.
Like they're gonna sell him to,
like how do they know he has value?
They want $85,000 for him.
Yeah, because that's the value of the reindeer, yes.
And they hate the Russians, by the way.
Right, they are right on the Russian border, we should mention. Yeah, so there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their their their their their their their their tho th Russians, by the way. Right, they are right on the Russian border, we should mention.
Yeah, so there's a lot of them just fucking around with this dude.
We see that he also really likes the smell of gingerbread.
Yes. Which they have a fucking ton of.
Yeah, it's like the only thing the dad can make, which was also like just breaking my heart.
It broke my heart when he was like making the Christmas Christmas Christmas just like he's trying. There's like
just this weird undertone of the father and son relationship of like the father
kind of seaunt his the son kind of knows and he wants to be in his dad's good
graces but he also doesn't want to annoy him and it's just really like
ugh sad. Yeah it seems like the death of mom is pretty fresh.
Yeah, the kids having an existential crisis, which also,
he's also walking around the house with a loaded shotgun on his back,
which does not seem like giving your seven-year-old
having an existential crisis.
You know, it's not the best thing for them to have,
just bouncing up and down the stairs.
And what do I know? Dad hands it to him, and he's like, is it loaded?
He's like, of course it fucking is, you idiot?
He's like, it wouldn't be useful if it wasn't.
So good.
Oh, so like the sad thing of him like having the pet dog on a leash,
it's just a stuffed animal.
I hate it. And he how sad it makes me.
There's something, and this is just a very personal thing, but like a child feeling alone in a movie is like so sad to me.
Oh yeah. Because I just know.
Happy holidays.
It's that I have the thing of like, if a dad says I'm proud of you to somebody in a movie I lose my fucking shit every time.
Yeah. Oh god. Oh man. Why do we have the note is Santa ready to fly? Who knows? I don't know. I don't know.
Can I tell you another thing that's real scary in this movie? Yeah. Snowmobiles. I never get on one of those goddamn things. Why not? Because they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho their tho tho their tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho thing that's real scary in this movie? Yeah. Snowmobiles. I never get on one of those goddamn things.
Why not?
Because they're horrifying.
No, wait.
You can go real fast on the snow.
Yeah, why would you do that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Would you like a milk? Thank you. Do they need any more advertising in Pittsburgh? Saris? Saras? A little more?
You don't though. It's a good chocolate cover pretzel.
It is. Thank you, Alan. Thank you, Sarah's chocolates.
I figure it's the most Pittsburgh thing I can offer you on Christmas.
I thought that would be like an icy light.
They make like an icy pine.
No. I drink it. It's actually just icy light mixed with gin.
And a little bit of lemonade, I think.
The holiday special.
I would actually drink that.
It's not that bad.
Would you try it?
I don't like the taste of gin.
Ew.
What's wrong with you?
I don't like the taste, I don't like hard liquor. Yeah, well, it's probably for the best. It's never been good to me so, yeah.
So all of the people's hair dryers, stoves, electric heaters are all getting
stolen from their houses and we find out when we get to the big warehouse where Santa Claus is being kept that the elves are trying to heat him up. Yeah I love. I I I I I I I I I the the the their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and we their, and we'll their, and we, and we'll their, their, their, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it, it's, it, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the that the elves are trying to heat him up. Yeah, I love that they just have everybody's radiators in there. It's very funny.
And but the hair dryer was my favorite thing. What are you going to do with the sacks? What are you going to do with the sacks? Oh, what are they going to do with the sacks? Oh for the children? They'd the kids in? Oh, they're. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Oh, their. Oh, their, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what? Oh, what? Oh, what? Oh? Oh? Oh, what, what? Oh, what? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh.... Oh? Oh......... the, the, the, the. the.. the. the. the. the. the, the, the. the, the, the, the, the. the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their They had to put the kids in. Oh right, they've also kidnapped all the bad kids in the town, which is everybody
except Piatari.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like when USO gets kidnapped, weren't you kind of like, eh, had it come in?
He reminds me of the best friend in the gate, the heavy metal kid.
Oh, Terry.
So I'm like, and Terry had such a miserable life that I'm like oh yeah. Terry was in the same situation the mom had died and the dad yeah
I watched that movie again recently and I wanted to like go back in time and give
it a 10 retroactively. Do we not give it a 10? I think you did I think I may
have given it less than a 10 when I looked back at Emily's a chart okay I should have given it a 10. It's so good good good. It so good I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took tell took took took tell. I the. I the. I 10. It's so good. It's so good.
And I mean, I'll stand that movie forever because of the brother-in-sister relationship
in that room.
And the dad of the, of Stephen Dorf is like the best dad too.
Yeah, it's a good movie.
Yeah, go watch the gate.
Yeah, but also watch rare exarts. So yeah, they find Santa Claus, he's got his giant horns, and they're gonna cut his horns off.
Yeah, and they do, they just put them in the back of a truck.
They're trying to sell this Santa to the Ebenezer Scrooge guy.
Right. I'm not sure why he wants to buy him.
Because he's been searching for him his entire life. He knew that Santa was in that mountain. Okay, I get I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, they they they they, I, they, I, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, th, th, th. th. thi, so, so, so, so, thi, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they, they're they, they, they they they, they're they're they they're they they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi too. too. too. too. too, too, thi. th boy. That's silly. But he gets killed, the Ebenezer Scrooge guy. By the Santa's. Yeah.
Yeah. The Santa Elf Helper boys. The naked, a bunch of old naked Santas. Which is, again, the naked dudes standing in the wood surrounding them is fucking terrifying. I feel like hereditary stole that for the end of the movie when they're running out,
yeah.
Or, um, it follows with the naked guys standing on the roof.
Yeah.
Which I still think about, I'm like, oh.
Get out of there, guy.
So they dynamite Santa Claus.
They blow them him the fuck up. Yeah. And there's, they rescue the children
who have been placed in sacks around the Santa Claus. Because I suppose he's going to eat them when
he wakes up. Yeah, he's going to be hungry. He's being down there a while. Yeah, thousands of years.
And... It's going to need a lot of usos. So after they blow Santa Claus up, they kidnap all the Santa helpers.
Yeah, so Piatari turns into like a project manager all of a sudden. He has a
plan, he's gonna execute it, and he does. He like gets his dad's friend to bring
the helicopter. They load all of the children in the sacks, in the cargo net of the helicopter,
which he's just hanging on like a mania, why on earth.
There's like a cool shot of like him sort of flying,
the helicopter flying through the air and the, it's computer, yeah, of like the,
it's sort of this majestic scene of riding through the air on a snowy night, but instead of it being like Santa and Reindeer and presents, he's just clutching a bag, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a the the the the the the the the the the the the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, a their, a their, a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, like a snowy night but instead of it being like Santa and reindeer and like presents he's just clutching a bag
like a net of bagged children you know. Maybe that's why they called it an
anti-Christmas movie. Maybe that could well be because the way it moves is
like that very like Christmas you know the bells should start ringing and then like
the children should cheer but it is not it It is just a bunch of children in sacks.
And a bunch of CGI Santa Clauses are running behind them.
Yes.
So it lures them, the helicopter lures them to the reindeer pen where they were going to lure
the herd and then kill them.
Right.
With an electric fence around it.
Yes, which they realize once they get there that Piatari can't get out. Right. And he just says, tell my dad what I did.
Fucking, and then I died. I do like that they use the gingerbreads to
distract the Santas. Like they throw them on the ground and the Santas are like,
oh, I just pick them up and start eating them. That's all it takes to get past the Santa's
is give them gingerbread.
I like gingerbread.
I can't imagine being that excited about gingerbread
and it would distract me from doing anything.
You're standing naked in the snow and you're like,
ooh, gingerbread. Flasse's flavor. Oh, it's a snap!
So then we see them washing and training mall Santa Clauses to ship around the world.
This twist, the first time I saw this movie, it's not really a twist, but like this sort of
change in tone, shocked me.
Because I thought that would be it.
Like they blow up the Santa, it's a dope explosion, and Piatari ends up getting away, he lives, I thought,
oh gosh, it's all going to be okay now.
And then...
And then it just changes to a very different movie.
And spoiler for the shorts, this is what the shorts are about.
They're about people hunting feral wild Santa Claus, to train them to be male Santa Clauses, or mall
Santa Claus to send out the mail.
Oh God.
And the first one shows them hunting them, and the second short is safety instructions for
what to do with the Santa Claus once you get it.
Oh my God.
It's really good.
So, so, like in the, it's sort of like a montage scene of them grooming these
feral Santa's into mall Santa's, and they're like, Piatari is riding on like a
moving belt with his father who's hugging him to like show them how to hug a child?
And it was just really, and they're like, holding dolls, it's so disturbing. It's so funny. Like, how much can you sell one of these for? And who? And who? And who? And, their? Oh? Oh? Oh? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like? Like, like? Like, like? Like, their? Like, their? Like? Yeah? Yeah? Like, their? Like, their. Like, their. Like, they. Like, they. Like, they. Like, they. Like, they. Like, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah so funny. Like, how much can you sell one of these for?
And who is buying them?
When they did the math, they were worth $16 billion.
I don't understand that at all.
It doesn't seem like Mall Santa Labor is that valuable.
It's so funny, though.
It's such like a weird, funny, like,
like, the movie to that point has been like somewhat heartbreaking.
Yeah.
A little bit gory, like some and then just like weird.
Yeah.
And then it takes this like just almost giddy turn into something totally different.
And I love that as the montage is going on, their clothes are getting nicer.
They're eventually wearing like really sharp looking sweaters and stuff.
Oh, I didn't notice that. Yeah. Oh good for them. Because
originally all their clothes are like kind of dingy and tattered. Yeah.
Clothes and now they're like wearing nice sweaters. Yeah. Yeah, it's really
it's fucking ridiculous. And they show like a Santa getting into a crate and the crate being closed and it says rare exports on it. And you're like, oh, oh, oh.
So it makes you question putting your kid on a mall santa's lap?
I would never put my kid on a mall sana's lap anyway.
No? Why would you?
So you can have a photo like the one that my parents have of me screaming as a child?
I have enough photos of her screaming.
It's a really funny thing to photograph.
I don't think I need to give her to a drunk man to do it.
What about one of those scary-ass Easter bunnies?
No.
What?
Because I'd have to go near it.
I'm like, I'm, to add to the list of things I'm afraid of.
I don't really like mascots.
I don't reallyass mascots, don't you think?
They're super weird.
Yeah.
And that is Rare X-Sports.
Yeah, it is.
Katie.
Alan.
Do you want to go to the ratings phase?
I'd love to.
You go first.
I first saw this movie at Ladies Nightmare, Tessa of Gooley's Fame, brought it there, and I was like, I love this.
I love this movie.
It's really fun, it's short.
It takes this bizarre turn that you didn't see coming
and not in like a bad way.
I feel like a lot of times when movies change tone at the end,
you're like
heart-worned to feel like, you know, selling humans, I guess they're not humans,
what are they? They're Santa Clauses? Yeah. They're different free. Selling them
into labor is bringing father and son together and, you know, that warms you.
They're fucking monsters. They are monsters. Hopefully they're well trained.
Hopefully they don't unleash on the Mall of America, you know.
I'm gonna give this a nine.
I love it.
So fun.
What about you?
I really like a lot.
I think it's a really fun entry into Christmas horror movie.
Yeah.
And it's not like any other movie.
I think it's fun that it's finish. And it's like, tha, tha, that it's fun, that it's fun, thia, that it's fun, thia, that it's fun, thi, that it's fun, thi, that it's fun, thi, thi, that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they, they. they, they. they, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoo, their's finished. Yeah. And it's like the three guys
that are the main dudes in it are in all the other shorts and I think this is
like their thing. That's to'e. So I'm into that like make a property, make it
yours, do a thing with it. I think nine solid for this movie. I have like no no criticisms of this movie. No, no. I feel like it like like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi thi th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I'm. I'm. I'm like. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. I th. really. No, no. Maybe like it drags in a couple spots but yeah, I can't make a movie. The concept of having an hour and 23 minute movie
that drags at certain points is not great. Yeah, for true. But it's a hard
idea to flush out isn't it? Yeah, there's only so much you can do with
giant mountain Santa Claus. And then Santa Santa, feral, naked Santa's. Yeah, yeah come for the old man crank. Yeah.
You like old man, Dick.
Now you do.
Oh, Katie.
Alan.
Can I take you to a little place I like to call mail bag?
Please. Or I'm sorry.
Mailbagbag.
Better.
This is from Friend of the podcast, Bill R.
Bill said, Saw the hashtag funny bummers on Instagram,
and it prompted me to send the funniest worst Christmas gift I ever received.
Okay.
I will preface this by having already read this email.
I thought there was going to be an O'Henry twist in this email.
Okay.
We'll see what you think at the end of it.
Okay.
I was living alone and had to work on Christmas Day. Before I went in, I opened gifts I had gotten from my family,
which included a package for my grandfather who has since passed away. It was a thin box
and wrapped carefully. I had no idea what was inside. I pulled the paper off and opened it
to find pillowcases. Plain white pillowcases. My exact reaction and out loud to nobody
was, what the fuck is this? Yeah.
I put them down on the table and got ready for work.
I told my wife the story years after and she laughed hysterically.
I did too because after all it was funny as hell and we still have those pillowcases.
I'm like, I was like, there's got to be something else.
Yeah, like when you came home, the pillowcases cases were gone you found out your grandfather had passed. That is a weird gift.
But I've been clearly a very useful one, you're still using them.
I love a utilitarian gift.
Give me towels.
I always need towels.
Yeah. Don't give me towels.
Bill says, I hope the season finds you both well.
I enjoy every episode.
Thank you, Bill.
Thank you Bill. the the thethank you, Bill. Merry, Merry Holidays.
Merry Holidays!
Would you like to hear a review?
I would love to.
Yeah, if it's a good one.
Or if it's a bad one, go for it.
This one says, funny pants.
Hmm.
From Westing 0, 0, 0.
These two are Uber hilarious,
and they reinforce my vision of Pittsburgh as teaming with zombies and crazies and the fans who love them. Huh. Okay? Yeah.
A lot of day vampires in my neighborhood but I think that's an opioid thing.
Oh no. Oh no. But they didn't like Jason X so they are dead to me.
Which is okay because they can walk around Pittsburgh as zombies now.
That's awesome. Five stars. You liked Jason X. Come on,!!!! the the th! th! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah? Yeah, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah? Yeah, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Pittsburgh as zombies now. Oh, that's awesome.
Five stars.
You liked Jason X. Come on Westing 0-0-0.
Send us an email and let us know why, because I don't get it at all.
He liked it enough that we are dead to him.
Well, it feels good to be posting from Beyond the Grave.
All right, be me.
So that's a mail bag.
Thanks everybody who's that's that's that's that's a that's MailBank. Yeah. Thanks for everybody who sent
stuff in. So we've got one more episode for this year and then we're gonna put a
2019 in the Shitter. That's what you do at the end of the year, right? Shitter's Full of 2019.
Thanks for everything guys. Yeah. In this the season of gratitude we
we feel grateful for you. We do indeed. And because of that gratitude, we are going to give you a special gift. What movie are we doing next, Katie?
You've got mail.
We're doing you've got mail.
By popular demand, we got a number of requests for you got mail, even though we were like,
not you got mail.
And then we were like, yeah, fuck it.
The crowd has spoken about it.
Yeah, so we're getting mailed next week. It's our our New Year's gift to ourselves.
At least it wasn't Greece. Like that's where I'm gonna start. At least it wasn't Greece.
At least it was not Greece. I have a lot of feelings about this movie that are probably going to surprise you.
I think I do as well. Oh, jeez. There's some revelations. Good or bad? We shall see. Ah, that last episode of 2019 before we put in the
shudder. You've got mail. It's free on prime right now. It is. It is. I was very
excited about. And if not just like close your eyes and imagine what it might
be about and then that'll probably be enough if you don't want to watch it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And oh rare exports is on Hulu. Yeah it is on Hulu. But hopefully by this point in the the episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode the episode the episode the episode the episode. the episode. the episode. the episode. the episode. the episode. the episode. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We th. We to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. We th. th. th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th it is on Hulu, but hopefully by this point in the episode you've already watched
the movie.
It's true, but if you haven't, go watch it.
Go watch it.
Yeah, this is definitely a movie you should watch.
If you want to buy something for a person that you love or yourself, you can buy
some of our merch at T.Public. to thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to thu. to thu. to thu. thu. to thu. to thoe. thoe. to tho. the. tho. to tho. thoe. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. I th. I is. I is. I is. I is. I. I. I. I. I. It. It's. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the watch our YouTube video for this week. Please do.
You can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. You can send us an email at
World Familance at Gmail.com. You can leave reviews anywhere that you can leave reviews.
We really, really appreciate that. We're still trying to climb the charts.
Although, did you see that email we got where we're third? Yeah. Okay, so there's a top 50 horror horror. the the the the their. th. th. th. th. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email that email that email that email that that that email that email that email that email that email that that that that that that that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email. that email that email that's that email we're that's that. that's that's that. that's that. that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Okay so there's a top 50 horror movies chart somewhere
and we are third on it? I feels good man right after a last podcast on the left.
I don't get it we won. We did win. We bronze medaled this shit so feels good to be us.
Yeah. Yeah. I like that you didn't mention that email to me. You were like Katie won't care.
Oh I, we get so many emails that I think are just like. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thir thir th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. we we we th. we we we we we we we we're we we're we're we're we're we're we're thi thi. We're we're we're thi. We're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi th email to me. You were like, Katie won't care. Oh, I, we get so- It's real.
We get so many emails that I think are just like shystery nonsense
that I'm like, oh, I don't know, man.
We're number three.
It's true, or whatever chart this is.
Yeah, I had never heard of it and never heard anyone three, baby. And, uh, have a happy holidays.
Thanks, to listening to another episode of Whirl of Ambulance.
Bye.
Bye. Oh, I think. you know the today