Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 262- Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)
Episode Date: January 6, 2020In this week's episode, we're discussing the second of our three horror-films-in-space rock block: the 4th entry into the Hellraiser franchise, "Hellraiser: Bloodline." Special topics for your conside...ration include: an exploration of our continued confusion about how puzzle boxes work, why puzzle boxes work, what sex demons are doing, why sex demons are doing and so on, confusion about Adam Scott's life, confusion about how lasers work, a taste that's maybe just not for us and the single most accurate review we've ever gotten. You like this franchise? Check out our Hellraiser series with the original (Episode 51) and "Hellraiser II: Hellbound" (Episode 205). Maybe wanna watch something else instead? Enjoy another space movie with Episode 125- "Event Horizon" and our highly excellent friend Dave. No video this week, pals-- we're going to retool and get back to it in a few weeks. But if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Katie.
Hey Alan.
Can you believe that this is our first Alan Smithy movie?
I don't know who that is.
Alan Smithy is a name that directors use when they don't want their name associated
with a film? You're kidding!
That's like a known thing.
That's like a guy incognito.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
There's a handful of Ellen Smithy movies
from like the 60s onward or 30s onward or something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we don't know who actually directed this film. We do. It was two different guys. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thi. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. the thi. the th. th. th. that could that that stands to reason that checks out. We're talking about hell-raiser bloodline
The number four in the franchise
Hell for razor
Cal for razor blood for line
And it's apparently like?
Apparently like halfway through the production or after he finished shooting the they showed a cut to the to the producers and they're like oh we're gonna change a bunch of stuff
and somebody else went back and re-shot a bunch of shit. Oh I wonder what was
changed? I know that the relationship between Angelica and it's Angelique, I'm sorry Angelique.
So French and Pinhead. Who? Pinhead? Pinhead.
Sorry that really got me. and Pinhead. Who? Pinhead.
Pinhead.
Sorry, that really got me.
Beenid.
Pinhead?
We're both, would change.
They were originally supposed to be super antagonistic.
They kind of are, though.
Except they kind of want to mommel-mah.
Well, that's the thing about Hellraiser, isn't it?
Everybody just wants to fuck at the bottom of it all. I have a lot of problems with this movie. The first one is that spooky quick shot of
pinhead in the opening credits. I just was like, oh here we go. That I'm convinced that was for
dummies to make sure they didn't think they went to the wrong movie. Yeah, they were like, it's okay, so you're sit tight, you meant to do this.
It's the Halloween mask you bought.
I didn't come here for no wig movie.
There's a bunch of guys in wigs.
I'm not here for a wig movie.
Uh-huh.
But I did see Adam Scott as a sexy libertine? I didn't. I actually here's
the thing I didn't know that I did because I did. When he showed up I was like
all right. Oh no I laughed the entire time he was on screen. Yeah it's so silly.
His wig. He's a baby. Oh yeah, even more angular somehow as a baby. Right, that doesn't
usually happen. What um, year is this movie?
Uh, this would be 96. 96. 98?
No, that was who got me. I'm sorry. Tell me about Adam Scott's wig.
It was just, it was like, uh, it was like, it was like, it was like they borrowed Tom Cruise's wig from interview with a vampire. thi. thrugge. It was like, it was like, it was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, thi. thi. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th th th th th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi thi yes that was a terrible wig. Just died it darker and had it like drooping in his face all the time. It was very droopy I wanted
Adam Scott put your hair out of your face. So this film opens on the year 2127
aboard a space station and there's a guy and he's got like a power glove and he's like it's it's so boss.
And he's using the power glove to open the puzzle box his hands and gloves.
He's controlling a terminator. Yeah, I was gonna say a skeleton. But why though?
Because you know you need to practice with the robot? I guess and then the robot blows up but have we ever seen anyone explode as a result of opening the puzzle box ever before? No. No. But before the
robot explodes, it goes, huh? Yeah, it's shocked by this realization, which made me sad
because I thought, oh, that robot knows. The Intuobot 5,000 knew what was about to happen? Honestly. I mean, just like, somebody wrote that and they were like, have the robot. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi. the thi. the the the thi. the thi. the robot, thi. thi. tho, tho, thoom. to the the was about to happen? Honestly. I mean, just like, somebody wrote that and they were like,
have the robot react.
That's not why you'd use a robot.
I need a, all right, in the opening scene,
a robot's gonna be open him a fuck puzzle.
Yeah, a fuck puzzle.
Was somebody gonna fuck that robot?
So, this movie strays a little bit from the fucking. Yeah, yeah, it's more, it's th. that's th. th. thi it's thi that's thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's more, that's more, that's more, that's more, that's more, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not th. th. th. th. three. th. th. theat's not thra. thra. thra. that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not, it's more, it's more on the violence end of
your Bush lyrics. Sure. I wonder if I'm missing something by having seen Hellraiser ones,
twos, and fours without seeing three. I don't know, if you are, I'm missing the exact same.
Oh, you haven't seen three either. Okay, because I like kind of was bummed about the Senabite band wasn't back together, you know. Yeah, yeah, he brings in a new
troop. And I didn't want them. I want, what's his name, Butterball, the girl and the
other one? Chatterbox. Who they were replaced with a dog? Who was also doing the chatterbox thing? And I was like, it's not really that scary when the thoom dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog that that that that that that that that that that that that that the girl was standing behind pinhead while he was delivering
some soliloquy.
Mm-hmm.
One of his many.
And then I guess it was just Angelique in her new like choptop from a chainsaw massacre
two thing that she was doing.
Well she is the girl centibite though, isn't she?
I thought when she pulled the guy through at the end,
she was the centibite.
She's a different centibite.
She doesn't have the Vijay neck.
Yeah, oh right, all right, she is the girl of this movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Apparently, she's supposed to look somewhat like,
thin, the to be able to turn her head. It's gonna tear. Someone's gonna be like, hey,
and you're gonna turn and you're to rip it out.
Imagine sneezing.
You're just like, please don't flinch.
Usually the worst thing you have to worry about
is a little fart sneaking out.
Yeah, right.
Now you're gonna rip your head skin off. to squeeze a pee coming out too. Hey.
So then we see a space force of space Marines.
Come on with these fucking space Marines.
I feel like you can't have a movie in space without a space force.
Is this what Donald Trump saw and was like, we got to get one of those?
It was either this or aliens.
Oh man, who showed him aliens?
So you've got the boss, you've got the tough guy, you've got the compassionate
guy, you've got the woman, here's your Space Force. They're in all of these movies, they're
in every last one of them.
They're in next week's movie? Yes, they are. It's the same fucking people. Oh my god,
Space Force is. So, we see them... Can we talk about the woman whose name is Rimmer?
Yes, why didn't they just give her a good name, a better name, a real name?
Rimmer. Even Rimmel is fine.
Rimmer in a movie that's like about like perverse sexuality is just you're going one direction with it. And she the only woman on that space station it's it's it's meant it's
Alan Smith's Alan Smithy that's I mean no fucking taste I guess he didn't
write it you imaginary person yes do better so yeah with the our bald guy
who is a the merchant the merchant? Jack.
But he's not, he's just merchant now, I guess.
Ellis Island and all that from when the French fled in.
He's being interrogated by Rimmer,
because they want to know what he's doing on this space station that he stole after he had it built.
Yeah, I was confused by that.
Also, he's a doctor, but we're never told what he's a doctor of.
Building space stations.
Yeah, and then not being able to use them, I guess?
A doctor being a dog?
Being what?
A doctor being a dog?
Oh, oh.
So this movie is told as him telling a story.
This is the genesis of the puzzle box, which I have a lot of problems with. And let me tell you the first one, if that's okay. Please. So it
flashes back to 18th century France. It's the same actor wearing a better
wig than Adam Scott, so he's doing a pretty
good French accent.
We'll give him that.
He is playing his ancestor, a toy maker, who builds the puzzle box.
It's his masterpiece.
It's a commissioned work.
To the specifications of sex pervert Frenchman?
Delile?
Delile.
The Wikipedia had to make a note, he's based on the Marquis de Sade.
It was like, yes.
Yes.
Yeah. Thank you.
Whoever updated that Wikipedia page was like, yes.
The puzzle box summons demons.
The guy who built it has no idea why.
It's his masterpiece.
I don't fucking get that at all.
Because like, have you ever made something at work that accidentally opened,
like have you ever made a spreadsheet that just accidentally opened a portal to hell?
Oh yeah, when I was a copy guy at a
coffee shop, oh you did. It once made it the right amount of copies to open a
portal to hell. So you're responsible for it and it's a good thing you
don't have any children because they'd be responsible for it. Exactly, that's
why. And their children's children and their children's children. forever until they get blown up in it on a space station.
It'll be your children's children with most of it happening in the 90s.
Right, yeah, right, the big stuff.
I was unclear if every generation had to deal with this or if it was just like some of
them got it and some of them were dumbes and they were just like, you know, like dog catchers and
they were not engineers.
Oh man, did I just make bread that opened a demon portal?
God damn it.
Son of a bitch.
Why are they from Texas now?
God damn, but I'm in France.
So Delial is the Marquita sod.
Adam Scott is his son.
Markita Bud.
Okay, I thou th like his buddy. Okay I thought he was his
son. I don't know why I thought that. It's fine. It's grosser if it's his son so
let's have it be his friend. They have like a secret laboratory but it's in the
first floor of their house and there are windows looking into it like, come on,
you live in some big fucking house. The bay window on the front that goes near a secret sex dungeon. Why would you put it there? I don't know. Oh god.
So they kidnap Angelique or... They get like a... yes, they kidnap this woman, skin her, and then fill her skin back up with the demon lady. Okay, that's what happened. It's dark. It's really dark. It's hard to see. It is for sure. And you... The whole time you're... It's kind of a long scene. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the. It's, it's, the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Oh. Oh. So. So. So. So. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the demon lady. Okay, that's what happened. It's dark, it's really dark, it's hard to see.
It is, for sure.
And the whole time you're, it's kind of a long scene too,
and you're like, but what is the point of this?
You know?
But I feel like that every one of these movies has skin.
That's true. Well, with, what's her face wearing her stepmom skin? Oh, right.
Everybody wears Julia's skin.
Frank wearing the other guy's skin in the first movie.
Come to daddy.
Thank you.
I think you were doing it for me.
But like, the two of them are talking to each other, and they're saying things like, a summon demon is yours to command unless you stand in hell's the hell the hell the hell the hell the hell the hell the hell that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's way, which means nothing. Oh, until it does.
I guess, when like you won't let hell take a vacation they really want to take?
I want to go to America, no hell.
And then that's when it shit goes down.
See, like, here's the thing.
I don't understand, because for 200 years, Adam Scott, I don't know what his character's name is, I'm going to call him Adam Scott, has summoned a demon for the sole purposes of fucking it.
Like why would you get a demon just to fuck it?
Like, if I am gonna unleash a demon, it's gonna rain fire and hell down on my enemies, right?
Like, the 18th century France is a great time to get fucked, you don't need to get a demon to do it. That's what I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th that's th th. Katie th. Katie that that that, Katie that, Katie that, Katie. Katie. Katie that, Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie, Katie that, Katie, Katie, Katie, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the 18th century France is a great time to get fucked. You don't need to get a demon to do it. That's what I'm saying.
Katie.
Yeah.
If they didn't want to fuck demon,
they wouldn't have unlocked the fuck box.
But why?
Why?
I don't know.
It's not like S&M isn't a thing.
Yeah, and like, they were rich, seemingly. So you could just pay somebody to do that kind of sex work. You need
not a demon! Well you ever fucked a demon though? No. Ticks in the next level. I
guess. You never, once you go demon you never go human? Well done. Fuck, fuck I'm good.
Slam done. I also just kept waiting for Adam, I just recently watched Party Down again and I just kept
waiting for Adam Scott to say, are we having fun yet as like the 18th century France guy?
He didn't.
He's bummer.
I just re-watched Step Brothers and he has people is a dick in that movie so it felt Barry on-brand. Good, good, good, good, good. I love him. He's great. He's great. He's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's, yeah. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's just. He's just just just just just just just just just just th. He's just just just just just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th th th thi thi thi thi thi the thi the thea thea thea thea thea. He's just just just just just just just just thi thi he plays a dick in that movie so it felt very on brand. Good, good, good, good. I love him, he's great. He's great. Yeah, yeah. He's great in Parks and Rick.
Yeah. And Crumpus. I feel like that movie didn't age as well. Probably not. Not that I went back and watched it.
No, I'd have no memory of it on him. I don't know, then it cuts to the 90s, I guess.
Right.
Well, this is Adam Scott beats up Le Monschant and tells him that his bloodline is cursed
forever.
Oh right, he kills him.
Does he kill him?
Yeah, because his wife is pregnant.
She comes, like, why was she there in the first place? Why she just walks into the house?
Like you don't live there.
Is this where he dropped off the sex box?
Yeah, was she following him to drop off the sex box?
But also he like, this is all a problem because she wasn't impressed by the sex box.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Apparently in these movies it's always a woman's fault. Oh yes, Alan Smithy hates women. It is always a woman's fault though, isn't it?
Yeah, for sure. Julia. Future wife. I can't remember what her name was. Oh Bobby. Oh yeah.
When he was yelling her name, that was when I thought he was British. He was like, Bobby.
Nope. So this is when we cut forward to the 90s.
The 90s, yeah.
We meet Modern Day, I guess, for when this movie was made.
Uh, merchant. He is a...an architect?
Right. Oh, we forgot one crucial detail from the France times.
What's that? Is that, uh, he met up with a Santa Claus man who told him man who to make a, as the toy maker he could make another box that traps demons.
Oh right. Because he does the one guys, like oops I made a sex demon box. Yeah, but
like how did you not know it was gonna be a sex demon box? That's the part I
don't get. I just feel like it. For some reason I keep picturing IKEA directions
for how to make a sex demon box.
It's like those two, you know,
there's the two guys at the beginning holding it
and it's like, don't put it on the floor,
put it on the carpet, but they're just sex demons.
And they're like, Yeah, we see this right we see Adam Scott and
Angelique and basically he's been able to control her for 200 years until he
denies her the right to go on vacation to meet the other merchant, the next
merchant. She sees with the cover of like architecture magazine. Did he have a subscription to that? Like who picked that up at the store? Like what? Okay, go, go, go, go, go, go, cool. Cool........... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. th. th. th. th. th. th that? Like, who picked that up at the store? Like, what? Okay, go, go, go, cool, cool.
Was there hotel room also a dentist office?
And then she kills him.
Which I also found confusing because isn't he immortal
if he's just been around for 200 years and still looks like Adam Scott?
So how did she just kill him with her fingernails?
Sex demon magic.
Gotcha.
Blood sugar sex magic.
I do like a good finger and a wound, though.
Sure.
Especially with a long nail.
It feels very biblical.
Very doubting Thomas.
You know what I mean?
I do.
I also like that like she starts killing him by just kind of cutting his face up a little bit. Yeah, make him ugly first. He's like, no, oh, no, oh.
And then she sticks her head inside of his chest and pulls his heart up.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, the effects on this movie, as in all Hellraiser movies,
are gory, grotesque and awesome.
Yeah, yeah, we get that skinned person get an uncle Frank leader in the movie who looks great-skinned. Yeah.
But then the rest of it is just like, how do we get to the next effect, I guess.
So we see that we go to America where, what is it name?
Merchant?
Just merchant.
I don't know.
He's a architect and he's building this big art show, seemingly.
I don't know what he's he And he's based it on his great-great-grandfather's
sex demon trapping box. Right, which he doesn't know is a sex demon trapping box.
No, he just knows that there's lasers involved. Yeah but there weren't because it's
just a bunch of squiggly lines and he's like what about lasers? Because it's the 90s and we just fucking fuck them the the the ep-peep-peep-peep-pew. Yeah.
He's got this wife with very big, very luxurious hair.
Mm-hmm.
And this kid with a monstrous bull cut.
I felt so bad for their kid.
I know it's 96.
Did that kid look mad familiar to you?
Yes, but I don't know what he was. He's not a sex demon. The only thing I recognized him in is I recently watched the 90s Indy Darling film Go
and he plays a child in that as well.
I've never seen that.
I can't remember him from Go.
There was so much else.
Timothy Oliphon was shirtless for most of the 90s kid.
I think he's just like generic 90s kid.
He was probably like, looks like someone who was on home improvement, you know? Or life cereal? Exactly. So he's like
giving a speech at a, oh he's been having nightmares, merchant, yeah. About
Angelique. Yeah. And then he is giving a speech at a banquet and he sees her.
Yeah, yeah, in a Bustier. Yeah, it's totally inappropriate for an architect banquet. And he like messes up his speech and then gets upset and goes home.
That's the scene.
And scene.
It was so good because he was like,
architecture.
A-badoo-bye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did like the shot of him getting into the car with like his head and his hands because it was so relatable. You know, yeah, yeah, the the the th, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, th, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, th, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the s the s the s the s the s the s the s the s the s the s th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, and th, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and that's th. Yeah, and that's that's th. I th. Yeah, and that's the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the you know, where you're just like, I fucked up and I can't go back. Oh man, was that a sex Stephen? It totally threw
me off my cape. Totally, but then she does something very weird which is
seduce a random man. Take him to the basement of the hotel that the banquet is being
held in. Uh-huh. Punch a hole in the wall in the puzzle box inside why was it in the wall of this hotel's basement? Yes.
Well, also like, are men genuinely this stupid? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna fall
for that? 100%. I hate it. I mean, have you ever seen the CDC's statistics on men that are killed by sex demons and you?
No, I haven't. I should google that. I I should look at that I bet it probably goes up every year
because men get stupider I don't even get smarter I'm so sorry to step on you
no it's fine I felt like this was their homagiest homage to Julia when she's
bringing home the dudes to make Frank hole again yeah so they just had to be like just bring a dude down in the basement and some chains to to to to to to to the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. I'm their their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I I. I I. I I I I I I. I. I I. I I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. the the the the the the the they just had to be like, just bring a dude down in the basement and some chains
will shoot out of some stuff. We got some stuff chains down here. The chain budget was enormous
in this film. So many chains. But I just feel like at least Julia had the decency to go to
a bar and pick up men. Instead of just being like, hey, come here. Let's go in the basement of this hotel and fuck. And the guy's like, oh, haba, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll th. I'll, th. I'll th. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, we, we, we, we, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. th. too, too. too. too, too. too, too, too, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the basement of this hotel and fuck. And the guy's like, oh, hubba, hubbah! I come into award ceremonies to get my...
And finally...
It's happening! It's happening! Dear penthouse!
Dear architecture, darkness! I got fucked! I never thought this would happen to me!
Oh my god. But what does happen to him, Alan?
He gets chain stuck at him and all ripped apart and then your boy shows up.
Oh, Pinhead. He's so, he's like a very serious Freddy in this movie.
Everything he says is a one-liner.
I feel like he wrote the, he delivers the gothiest gothline ever, when he's just like, this, this is not a room,
this is a Holocaust waiting to awake itself.
I'm sorry, I thought that the gothiest gothine ever was, I am so exquisitely empty.
Because he says that in this movie.
He just, but it's like a selling point.
Yeah, yes. And he said, that's his joy in life as being exquisitely empty.
Can you explain to me how the room was a Holocaust waiting to happen?
Because it's gonna kill all the sex demons.
It's gonna trap the sex demons inside of the sex demon trap.
What?
Oh.
Oh, because the...
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
How many sex demons are there I mean, at least six, right?
I didn't know if something happened to them in the third movie.
Maybe, maybe.
How does sex demons proliferate?
Because I know in the third movie I've seen Stills and there's the, I think that's
the one where the, like, one of them is made out of CDs. He has like CDs. No, he's not. Yeah about that concept.
Oh my God.
Yeah, there's also that tower of sex demons that's in the second movie.
Great, I forgot about that.
Oh man.
Do you love that the shitty spinning box with faces nailed to it shows up at the end of this movie?
Yes, because I was like, I feel like I've seen thisthis before and now I remember why it was in the second movie.
Yeah I think it's in the first one too. I think that's a classic Hellraiser.
Oh my god stop doing it. Guys. Listen if you want chains with hooks on them you got to take Face Bucks. Face box. Face box. Fa-Fa-Fa-Fa th s sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds sounds like like like like like like like like like like like like a that that that that th th-s th-s th-s, th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a thinks like a that a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th- like a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is like th is like th is like th-s th-s, I th-s, I th-s, I th-s, I thi-s, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th like get their point across. Facebox. These kids looking at Facebooks all day long.
An insta photo.
So Panhaid shows up and talks to Angelique and he's saying something like hell is much less
amusing than when you were here.
And I was like what, like what first, what changed was shifted in hell and like, how amusing
was it?
Well we got rid of all the mid-century modern furniture and now it's just like IKEA stuff it's falling
apart you know it just doesn't have the same charm. No cartoons in hell
anymore no cartoons. No cartoons in hell no cartoons the took Ziggy out of
the newspaper. No sugared cereal. It's just like really bleak down there now. It's just all family circus all the time now. Oh no family circus in shredded and shredded shredded the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. family circus all the time now. Oh no, family circus and shredded wheat.
Go fuck yourselves. Everyone's so regular in hell. No one laughs at anything. What, like, what was that meant? What is Pinhead doing? What is he doing? So the, like, Angelique is supposed to represent
like the fun side of hell? Like the past fun times? The good times in hell. Right, everyone's just like, let's just get fucked, who cares? Let's do this.
Ah. And Pinhead's like, no, it's got to be like, so exquisitely empty inside.
Okay, because he said something like terror is effective, is as effective as temptation.
Exactly. I see. Yeah. So Pinut doesn't want to fuck. Did pinnet ever want to fuck to fuck to fuck to fuck to fuck to fuck the fuck to fuck to fuck the fuck to fuck their fuck to fuck their fuck their fuck to fuck their fuck their the who's got like their nipples taped down to their jacket is probably DTF. What was his body? I
didn't understand what was happening to him. I always think his leather like dress
thing he has on has to be so hot. Oh my god he's so sweaty but he also just has
like fruit roll-ups on his front and I don't know why.
What did they did he peel the skin?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe racing stripes.
Look how fast spin-tuts go.
Yeah, it sucks.
That sucks.
This movie sucks.
This movie sucks.
I'm sorry.
I know any people love it.
I don't get it.
Jim Robinson, I like you people love it. I don't get it. Jim Robinson's gonna be so sad. Jim
Robinson, I like you a lot. You're wrong on this one. Can we talk about the
sex stream that Merchant has later that just looks like a Shadeh music? Yes, it's
very sexy. It's like a lot of um flowing silks. Yeah, and Muslims. Yeah. It is very sexy.
I'm just saying.
So silly.
I don't know, you know what, I strongly disagree.
I think that was the highlight of this movie.
So after the sex dream, oh and his wife is now, he's sneaking off to meet with Angelique.
Is he really fucking Angelique?
I don't think yet.
Okay. I think like there's pretty fucking going on. Because he's like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, I, I, I'm, I'm like, thus, I thus, I'm, I thus, I thus, I thus, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I thus, I thus, I thus, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I, I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tha, I tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha, I tha there's pretty fucking going on. Because he's like, you've got a real you've got male situation.
He's like, she wants to see the puzzle box or the thing with the lasers.
Yeah.
And he's like, well I haven't shown it to anybody.
Nobody's ever seen it.
It's mine and no one's ever seen it.
She's like, well show me first. And the next scene is him showing her, and I was like, and I I I I I I I I do puzzle bugs upstairs, you wanna come see it? Why?
Like, why is she?
She's so tentat-ish.
She's beautiful.
She's beautiful.
Not a great actress, definitely cast for her looks.
Because later in the movie she's going, help me, please, please help me.
And you're like, fuck off. But Bobby is now worried that Merchant is cheating, which found it.
Sure, sure, sure.
So then we meet the security guard twins?
I feel like a full minute and a half was like, are they twins?
Why are they twins?
Why are they twins?
I guess I understand they had to be to make the gag work. But like, just the idea of these two like, fucking Ken doll twinss, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, tw, twins, twins, twins, twins, twins, twins, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, twin, twin, tw. W. Wea, twoombs, twoombs, twoombs, twoombs, twin, their, their, the gag work, but like just the idea of these two like fucking Ken doll twins working as security guards with guns.
It was a lot.
It's so silly.
So the, there's, this hallway just shows up in the building where the sex even trap
is.
Is this the building where he works? I think so, yeah. And Pinhead is lowering the the the the the the the sex-deven trap is. Is this the building where he works?
I think so, yeah.
And Pinhead is lowering these twins in there
so that he can twist them together?
And the, like, he's like, I know what you're thinking.
You never want to be separated from your brother.
And the guy's like, yeah.
They were cute, actually. And so he winds their faces together?
I mean...
And they're both just going,
oh, oh, oh, huh.
It's so dumb.
And there's like drill bits being shown on screen,
but you don't see where they're coming from or where they're going.
It's a real God-by-Jow situation.
And it's just like, what, what, huh?
What?
I don't know.
This, this, yeah, this construction scene is weird.
And I don't think it would work.
And then they come apart later.
So easily.
If you could come apart, why don't you?
They can only do it to fight people. I see. Yeah, because that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, to fight people. I see. Yeah because that like conjoined twin thing isn't good for fighting. I wouldn't think. No.
No. Unless you could like pick one another up and like swing the other one. Yeah,
you're like a kicking machine? Yeah, that's cool. You're risking your face with
that though because it's only skin that's holding you together in some drill bits. He said pinn it's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's being such a gatekeeper of pain in this too, where like, like, he's
like, I'm going to shoot you, I'm going to show you pain and he's like, you have no idea
of pain. He does his like, pain speech, and I was just like, here we go again.
Like, you've seen the first couple movies. You don't need to do this. Is this where he says I ain't got time to bleed? Yeah. Or pain don't hurt? That's the first time, yeah. And also, how did Pinhead just come to
the greatest suffering a parent can know was a loss of a child? Like, that should have been like day one,
pinhead. Right, that is ultimate pain. Yeah. How many hundreds of years? I mean, how long has pin had even been around? Did pinhead get... Oh he's been around since the since World War I that's when he was made. Oh right we did
see his oh my god Alan I wish I was dead. That's not sure. So this is 80 years
later and he's just learning this information. Yeah yeah he says it like it's a novel idea.
Oh shit why that's why they're sad. I mean pained. Oh also he puts blue fluid into it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's th. It's th. It's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's he th. He's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He's th. He's th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they're sad. That's why they're sad. I mean pained.
Oh also he puts blue fluid into their backs I don't know why I just want to say
that. What is that? Okay. So pinhead goes and steals Jack merchant and Bobby's daughter. Son?
Sorry I just keep wanting to say, dip Bobby?
And he takes Jack to a conference room in hell?
Yeah, it's confusing.
I don't know, I don't know, like, because she gets him back right away.
Yeah, she just has to go into the conference room literally has chains with bloody things and phones.
Why? What are they setting up?
I don't know. I mean I've always thought that hell would just be like bureaucracy.
Sure. That's fair. I mean that's uh, that's Beetlejuice basically. Sure. Yeah, yeah, and uh, yeah. Sorry. I almost spoiled something. I don't want to spoil the the conference. Like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the c the c like like like the c like the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. The c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the conference. the conference. the c. the conference. the conference. the c. the c. the c. the the the the the conference. the conference. the the conference. the conference. the conference. the conference. the the conference. the the c. the c. the c. the fair. I mean that's that's Beetlejuice basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And yeah. Sorry, I almost spoiled something. I don't want to spoil for people.
This is where we see the Chatter Beast, which is the Chatterbox Dog.
I wondered if he had showed up in the previous movie. Because they introduce him like we're supposed to care.
Like throwing in bones in the dark and like, I don't know. I feel like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that thrown like thrown in tho tho thrown in thrown in thrown in tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s their their their their their their their their their tho-s their tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s thin thin thin thin thin thin thin that that that that that that that tho-s. tho-s. S. Yeah, so thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. I feel like this movie presupposes a lot of things. Yeah, like a lot of things. Like that a building that is as nice as the one that
Merchant and Bobby live in wouldn't have a nicer laundry room or like easier to
access. Like you don't have to go through a hallway with a flickering light in a dungeon to get to it. I'm surprised the word chud in the basement. Yes. I would have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have the the th. th. th the th. Like like like like like like like like the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. th. th th th the th. Like, like a th th th th th th th th th th. A th th th th. A th th. A th. A th. A th. A the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. A th. A the. A that. A that. A that. A that. A lot that. A lot that. that. A lot the. the. A the. A the. A th. A th. A to it. I'm surprised the word chud in the basement. Yes. I would have
loved that if a chud just popped up and then like ate her and then ate
pinhead. That would have been a movie I'd like to watch. I'm just empty calories.
Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks? That's also pretty got.
It is. Is pinhead the ultimate goff?
I think so.
Move over Robert Smith.
Kid.
And out of the way, Peter Murphy.
Here comes Pinhead.
Pinhead.
So Pinhead wants architect to make a bigger pathway to hell.
Why?
You're sick of them trickling through? Well, they should just walk faster. their their their their their their theeeeeffeckeckeckeckeckeckecke. their their their their the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toeaa. to. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to. thea. to.trickling through? Well, they should just walk faster, you know what I mean? Like, it's just dumb. But there's seemingly not a lot of them, so like, you can get six
through that box. We've seen it happen multiple times.
I do like that when we first see Vinhead, when, uh, earlier in the movie, there's the, like,
the scene where he's coming through and it's the walls are plaster so you can see the light coming through them like in the original
movie. I was like, oh that's cute. He turns everything into plaster walls. Yeah,
that's nice. They like detonate the laser box right? I don't know Alan. I don't think so. No, how do we get to future? Oh wait. They die. So she, so they like have a standoff with pinhead. Right on the
seventh floor that looks like a cough teens dream room. Yes, it totally does and he's like
okay we're gonna split up and Merchant leaves his his wife and son and sends the sun in the
elevator. He's five. He's five. He's a baby.
Oh, that's right.
And mom figures out that she can like weaponize the sex demon box.
By screams, she screams, does this pathway go both ways?
And I was like, lady, you understood this concept super fast,
considering that I've sat through now two and a half of these movies, it at all. So good for you Bobby. But so he's like Pinhead and Merchant are like having
a face off and Pinhead needs Merchant to do something. Merchant says he's not going to do it.
And Pinhead's like, stand your ground, family man, and then kills him. Why? You are the one
who needed him. He knows what will just go into the future. No. So it must not have had anything to do with that kid growing up. Like that kid must th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th at th at th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeeeeeee. thi. thi. the. the anything to do with that kid growing up. Like that kid must not have had any like dreams or affliction for the, you know what I mean?
Right, right.
Oh my god, it's so stupid.
I think you have to look like him.
Oh, I see.
You have to be this.
So, but he, you're right, he does detonate something because I have a note that says I love how he's typing letters but numbers are showing up on the screen what is he typing? I couldn't believe that
he said his son off alone though but I guess like pinhead was gonna let his
son live because he had to keep the bloodline going. Oh bloodline I just got it.
Oh bloodline I just got it. I didn't think about it until you said that but okay. Oh that's right I have the note the the the note the note th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't think th. I didn't think thin. I didn't think thin't think thin. I didn't think he he he he he he he he. I didn't he. I didn't he. I didn't he. I didn't think he. I didn't think. I didn't think he. I didn't think. I didn't think I didn't think I didn't think I didn't think I didn't think I didn't he. I didn't he. I didn't he. I didn't he. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't think th. I didn't think th. I didn't think thin. I didn't think th. I didn't think th. I didn't think th. I didn't think thin. I didn't think th. I didn't think he th. Oh that's right I have the note pinhead cuts John's head off. Yeah it's good it's gross it looks great yeah he kills Bobby too
yeah yeah and then he kills Angelique with the giant puzzle box. Why is it
the one he made? That's the one the architect made yeah he wrote the I think
so they could use lasers in it. Oh god. I guess you can't just murder Adam Scott
with no consequences. No, no that's I mean that is a saying. Yeah. It goes back
generations. And then Pinhead like screams while she's getting pulled into the
puzzle box with chains of course. Yeah and I was like are you mad? Are you sad? Are you glad?
What are you? Yeah, what are you pinhead? Yeah. He's, I mean,
he's all the emotions at one time and exquisitely empty. I just doesn't make any sense.
And then I was like, oh yeah, the movie isn't about these people. I forgot we were in the future.
It does feel like we're watching, like, so far we're watching two distinct movies. Like, the French one was just a short film? th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the French one was just a short film and this is a feature-length movie this goes on for a
really long and I forgot about the little bit about space in the beginning I
forgot we were even doing a space rock block until we go back to space we do
go back to space to the year 21 27 it's just it's just so he's told this whole story to Rimmer rimmer who buys it from what I can't I I I I I I I I I can th I I can I can I can th I can th I can th I can th I can th I can th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is the th is th is th is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th's told this whole story to Rimmer.
Rimmer!
Who buys it from what I can tell?
Sure.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, the merchant tells you something.
I feel like,
if someone told me that story, I'd be like,
no.
I mean, the movie is to space times.
Yes, he actually had summoned them before the space Marines had, before the space Marines had captured him.
So they've just been wandering around a room, I guess? With no whiskey. Like, can Pinhead walk through walls? Why can't he?
How can you, why is it, how is it possible to trap Pinhead in a room? Does that seem unreasonable? Yeah, you're blowing my mind right now because he definitely
snuck into the family's house. Was it just like the front door was open? I don't know.
I just think that Pinhead's powers are confusing. Sure. And his motivations are also confusing.
I mean, I'm just going to put it out there that sex-deman-based powers are probably going to be confusing.
It's true. It's not a linear path. It's not one we've ever gone down. No, not one I ever
wanted to. So I have the note the demon tricks army guy to letting them out by pretending to be kids. Okay, so like if you heard a child calling for help,
would your first instinct be to fire your weapon at the door that they're behind? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, just checking, just making sure. You gotta get that kid out. I mean, it's necessary. Oh my
God. And you know what, for his troubles, he gets made into an uncle Frank. He does. He does. He walks in and in and he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. He's th. He's tri. He's tri. He's trile. th. I's tri-s thi thi thi. I's thi thi thi. thi thi thi. to thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. tie's tie's tie tie tie tie te. te. te. te. tip. te. tip. tip. te. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip.'s why I have the note he gets deskined PDQ. He does. He walks in and just
phth. I also have the note hell believes in you. I have that too. I don't know what it means.
Hell believes in all of us I have written down. Okay. That's just like the best bumper sticker. Yeah. The less amusing, hell believe. So Angelique is a centibite now.
And she comes back.
She's got her skid attached to her shoulders, which just got to be annoying.
It's so annoying.
And then we've got the twisty boys.
They look pretty cool, actually.
Do you like the twiste boys?
I do.
I mean, I don't like them as much as I like Butterball. I like that they have the puzzle box between them.
That's the thing that's twisted them up.
Right, because it's the center of everything, right?
Yeah, yeah, why?
For sex demon culture.
I get you.
But just why?
But just why?
I love that this is a return Because what and why? I feel like this is like contemporary country music where it just kind of alludes me.
Yeah.
I just don't get it.
I understand that other people want to rock out with their their jeans shorts and their
pickup trucks?
Totally.
And their sex demons and they're hell believe it in them.
It's exactly that.
This is the country music of films, film franchises, at least. I do like when Pinhead is standing between the twins and it just looks like two guys are
standing behind him.
Yeah.
And then there's the reveal?
I thought that was cute.
Cute.
I like how the guy has to boot up his weapon.
He's like, oh, shit.
Why didn't you boot up already? I like the guy that says what planet are you from to pinhead?
Yes, I did like that.
Was that Carducci?
Because they say it a bunch of times.
And I was like, fucking Carducci!
Jokes on you, Italians aren't astronauts.
But yeah, that's when we see them split apart.
But why, why are you together?
Why are you together? Why like but why? If you like why are you together why did you
separate? Why are why? It's real mind fuck when we split apart you didn't see
that coming did you? And like do you each have do they each get an extra arm
then? Do they grow another arm because they didn't they only had two arms
between them when they rolled up as a unit? Maybe that's what was being drilled down to the side? Maybe that's they that's that's that's that's that's they's they's they's they's they's they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their their th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. th. thrilled thrilled thrilled the. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thrilled. Maybe thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. thrilled. theeeeeeee. they're they're they're to their sides and then they get released when they get released. Oh God they'd be so sore. Yeah. It would probably just go like, foop right up to the ceiling. It's just all pins and needs.
Ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, that's in pinheads. Pinheads and needles. It's bad. Like this is what we've been, this is what we've been, this is what we've... This is what we're, this is what we made, this, this, this, this, this, the, the, the, the, the, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, made, th. This is made, th. This is made, th. This is made, th. This is, th. This is made, th. This is, th. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the. It's, a lot of pickup scenes where they kind of redid the plot. Yeah. And when we first
meet the space merchant he has a shaved head and then when we meet him later
on he obviously did not want to shave his head again yeah because he has a
bald cap with Sharpie to look like its hair. It looks terrible. It looks so bad. I don't blame that guy for not wanting to shave his head again because he was very handsome with hair
and he looked like a dick without it. Oh I thought he looked handsome without hair.
I like, I was I was looking him and I was like, is this guy hot? Like I can't tell. And then when I saw him with the French wig I was like, oh yeah. I just like, just like, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to th. I'm like, I th. I th. Oh, I look like, th. Oh, like, like, like, like, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. I look like, th. I look like, th. I look like, th. I look like, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the the the thi. I the the thi. thi. the th Brown. Yeah, well I feel like even just a bald cap would have been fine.
Or like, just looks so shitty.
Something.
Something.
Howie?
They're also like looking at Earth through a window.
And I was like, jokes on you.
It's a fiery hellscape.
And then I was like, oh no jokes on all of us. Oh. And then they put they they they they they they they they they they they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho. tho. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooo. that just just just just just just just thooooooooo. that that that just just just no jokes on all of us. And then they put the dog in a room that just blows it up. Why? What is that room in the spaceship space station?
Is that why have the note? Rimmer pops the puppy? Yeah, but what is, how did she do that? She just puts it in a room and flips it's a switch?
So in space stuff you've got to have a decompression chamber. Okay. So she just increased the atmospheres until it blew them up.
What is it?
So that if you're going down to a planet with different gravity,
different atmospheres than what you would be normally used to,
just like when you deep-sea divers can't just come right up out of the ocean.
Oh, get the bends.
Yeah, so they have to go through our decompression and process. Huh. How long does that take? I don't know, but if you do it fast it blows a dog up. Cool. It's like a microwave.
Oh yeah.
Good to know.
I don't know why I'm laughing. It's terrible that someone has done that and I know that it exists.
Um, that's an urban legend. I hope. It is. It is. Listen to me.
the toy maker tricks pinhead?
Yeah.
And traps him in the space station, which, hold on.
He's a toy maker, he's a doctor.
Everyone's just calling him Toymaker.
That's all. Go on.
Tracks him.
Okay.
The space station, as we've seen from the opening shot is just an origami box.
Yes, it is. That's the
future though. And it folds up and reveals itself to be the demon-trapping
box. Like we're all going to go, nah-uh. I was like, okay. Yeah, that's what I saw in
the beginning. Of course I was going to happen. Welcome to Oblivion. Amen.
Before that, Pinhead's getting like violently thrown against a wall and it looks like he's
in pain and I was like, I wonder if he's getting a bone dog right now.
Do you think like when he gets thrown against a wall he's just like, uh,
a bone dog? Yeah, bone dog.
Yeah, bone dog. Oh, we're children.
I know.
Yes, I have no doubt that he becomes tumescent when he's thrown against a wall.
Too mesent is a grown-up word for Bone Dog.
So yeah, he tricks him with a hologram, I guess, while they're on the shuttle.
But, like, why can't Pinhead just like leave and go back
to hell? That's what I'm saying. Like why is Pinhead trapped anywhere ever? Because of the lasers.
Yeah. Because the, because the, the, he perfected the toy maker's sex demon trapping box.
Okay. The Toymaker was able to make before being killed in France, he was able to just like, oh, I got this. I th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, thi being killed in France. He was able to just like,
ooh, I got this, I got this. I got this. Yeah. I just move this here, and move that here, and then lasers.
We'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Once we invent lasers. Yeah, just wait for lasers.
Okay. But he still didn't have it right the first time, the merchant guy. No, I think lasers. Can I read you my last note?
Please.
It says, lull with one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, twelve o's.
Please look at my last note?
Here says, ha ha ha ha, with I think eight has.
Because it ends and you're just like, what are you kidding me?
Because he says, welcome to Oblivion.
Ah, man.
Oh, man.
And then credits.
What?
This was the last teleraiser movie theatrically released.
Yeah, I can see why.
Fuck.
Katie.
You want to rate this thing?
Do you want to rate this film?
That was scary, and also, and also, and also, and also, and also, and also, and also, and also, film? That was scary, and also you made your eyes really wide in a way that I felt frightened by.
I am low-key terrifying.
Not to me.
Just when you say things in a pinhead voice with very wide eyes.
I'm sorry, do you-
That's worse. He's squinting.
Oh God. Yeah, it's a one.
It's so bad. It's missing like any likable characters. Okay. I think or any characters you care at all about?
Like in the first two you care about what's her face? The daughter. Jenny, Sandy, Marcy, whatever
fucking name is. Christie? Yeah. The effects are cool. That's why I gets a one. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that.
It takes away my favorite centa bites. It doesn't make it, it furthers a genesis story with The effects are cool, that's why it gets a one. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that.
It takes away my favorite centibites.
It doesn't make it.
It furthers a genesis story with making even less sense than it did before.
Sure.
You can't really do that.
I don't get any of it.
I don't get it.
It's a one to explain how the puzzle
box gets made, explain why it conjures demons. Right, right. This is because of the math,
right? Because of the way the math works out, math demons? I don't like it. I don't like it. It's too fuzzy for me. So here's a
little flippity scrippity for you. Yeah. I kind of enjoyed this. I knew it. I smelled
it on you when you came in. So I want to preface this by saying two things.
Yeah. The first time I watched this movie I fell asleep while they were still in space at the beginning. Oh no that's like eight minutes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. the th. Yeah. the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the credits. Two, before watching this movie, I watched this movie on Sunday, and Saturday I had a lazy crazy
Because my partner was out of town, so I just watched TV for like 14 hours.
I was like, I'm just leaning into this. Yeah.
And I watched the worst movie I've seen in years. What was it? It was the Hellboy movie movie from 2018? Oh, no, I didn't even know it existed. And I love the hellboy b boy the the the the the the the tho boy the tho boy the tho boy the tho boy the tho boy the tho tho tho tho tho tho the hell boy tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Hellboy movie from 2018. Oh no, I didn't even know it existed. And I love the Hellboy comic books.
And I like the original Hellboy movie.
And this was shit.
And it was done by a director that I really enjoy,
who is Neil Marshall, who did Dog Soldiers in the Descent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was terrible.
And it stars, oh, God, what the fuck is his name? He's the sheriff in Stranger Things.
Oh, yeah, that guy. Everybody likes that guy. He's Hellboy. Yeah. Totally misses the market sucks.
So I was like, oh, that's the worst thing I'm going to see this weekend. And it was because I enjoyed Hellraiser bloodline way more.
Fuck, dude. When did you watch next week's a movie? the thiii. I saw a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the th. the the th. the the th. the th. the th. the th. the the th. the the the th. thi. the the the the thi. thi.iser hold on to being the best thing you saw all weekend?
You're gonna, well it wasn't the best thing I saw, I saw better things.
I watch the Italian job, the Michael Kane movie from the 60s?
No, no, no.
It's a heist movie.
No, no.
Maybe someday I'll watch one.
Have they fun?
You like them? You love them. Yeah, yeah, I do. Which one should I start with?
Probably Ocean's 11, the latest one with George Clooney's. Okay. Your boy Brad Pitt? Matt Damon. Everybody loves Matt Damon. I don't love either Brad Pitt or Matt Damon. I think one is a shitty copy of the other.
And I'm not sure which is a wish. I'm gonna give this movie a five. Damn. But that's not hating it though th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. thi thi thi thi thi th. tho th o' th o' thoom. thoom. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. theateat theat theat theat thia. thioooooooooooooooooooooooooo o' the latest. the latest a five. Damn. No, but that's not really liking it though, is it?
It's not hating it though, which is what I expected. True, true, true.
Remind me, did you hate two? Because I remember you liked one. No, I did not hate to. I actually suggested we do too. Okay, so you love Hellraiser. No. No. Hale razor's your favorite. It misses the mark for me, but I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thr-I. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thee. theeeeeee. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. th hate it. So stupid, though. I agree.
I have the problem where I don't think Clive Barker can finish things.
I think he has good ideas, and then like, oh, well, I gotta go.
Yeah, it's over now.
Somebody wrap this up for me.
But I think it's just one of those things where like Clive really enjoy, which is fine. Do your thing. Remember that one we watched about the subway? That was so bad. That was so bad. That was so bad. I almost called
a midnight meat man. I love midnight meat man. I want to be midnight meat man when I grow up.
It's me, Midnight meat man. It's a spicy meat ball. Katie. Alan.
Can I take you to a little place that I like to call a mailback?
Please do.
All right.
Let me get there.
Hold on one second.
So we've got a new review on the iTunes from New Scott Man.
New Scott Man.
New Sot Man.
Who says five stars.
Thank you.
Good.
Is good.
They talk about 40 to 60 to 60 to 60 to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to the to the to to. They talk about 40 to 60 minutes about horror movies they watched recently.
That's the intending of the review.
I don't know why that's so funny to me.
It's true.
Good is spelled GUD.
He's good.
He's good.
He's good.
Oh God, thank you, Scott man.
New Scott man.
N-U, S-Contin.
Oh man.
He's all fresh and so clean clean.
Oh, Scott, man.
It is 40 to 60 minutes, that's where we try to keep it.
We talk about horror movies we recently seen. Yeah. Yeah. That is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th.. thi. thi. thi. th 40 to 60 minutes. That's where we try to keep it. We talk about horror movies
we recently seen. Yeah. That is fucking accurate. Doesn't say we're funny. Oh no. We're
not though, are we? He's funny. It's got man. He's good. I forgot what I was going to update
our profiles to be, something like poorly researched. Poorly executed? Hilarious.
That's good.
If that wasn't it, it's it now.
I'll fix it this week.
Thank you for the review.
We've not gotten a new review on podcast republics since October 2nd.
So, get on it, guys.
You know I'm going to read them out loud, because I read them.
You want to hear your words read in Katie's dulcet tones? Not dulcet, but yes.
Katie.
Alan.
What are we doing next week?
I think we're going to wrap up this space rock block that wasn't with.
Leapricon in space.
Mm-hmm.
It is a lepricon movie.
Please give it its proper name.
Oh, I don't know.
Leprecon 4, In Space.
Oh, see, I was about to say that, but I didn't know if I was getting it confused with Hellraiser 4,
Hellraiser in Space, Bloodline, Space, from Lines.
Lopricon 4, colon, in space.
Okay, great film.
Like, In space. I feel like that was a working title,
and they just forgot to lop it off before the film came out.
But we'll talk about that next week.
We will.
In the meantime, you can get in toubts with us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
You can email us at We're All Family Owns at Gmail.
You can leave us reviews. reviews, we love that and it helps people find us or whatever. Yeah, it is really helpful. Is it?
Yeah, I believe it is.
NPR's asking for it all the time, so it must help something.
If you, if NPR can ask for it, we can be a little pushier.
Yeah.
Review us.
Guys, thank you.
I appreciate it. We're just about to put up a new design in the next week or two. Buy a t-shirt?
Yeah, yeah.
Buy it self-fun.
That's very nice.
Thank you for buying stuff, guys.
It's real nice for you, and I bet it's nice for you because it gets shipped to you in a way
that's better than we were doing.
And it's nice for us because we don't have to do anything. Patreon? Oh my god. Why do people want, what do they want for their money? I'm so stressed by it.
So somebody gave the suggestion that we do non-hara movies. Yeah. Do like a special episode
a month for Patreon only, non-hau horror movies. The problem is time. The problem for me is money.
It stresses me out to owe people something. Sure. Yeah. Well, we'll talk about it though. Then we can make that chitter. We could th. We don't have th. We don't have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. tho. tho. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho. tho. tho. something. Sure. Yeah, well we'll talk about it though. Then we can make that cheddar. Yeah. We could do it once a month. We could make it work. Probably. Yeah.
Yeah. I'd get to hang out more. Yeah, I would too. Oh, so on that note I'm going to say
thanks for listening to another episode of Warewulf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. the