Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 272- Village of the Damned (1995)

Episode Date: March 16, 2020

Hi EMTs. First of all, we'd like to say that we hope you are all well and healthy, both physically and emotionally, in this worrisome and trying time. We are here with you. Second, we hope that you ca...n get a break from the real world with us for 45ish minutes today and it's our absolute privilege to be able to do that. Third, good lord, this movie is a disaster. This week we're talking about the 1995 John Carpenter remake, "Village of the Damned."  Special topics for your consideration include: when it is okay to correct us (when we're actually wrong, obvs!), Buck Flowers and an utterly hilarious death scene, a celebration of Kirstie Alley, poor hair decisions, mixing Superman and Luke Skywalker and getting a stew of garbage and finally, Baby Baby Boomers.  Hey, you may have noticed our new theme music! Super special thanks to Aaron "Toxic" Mortimer for making it for us!  Want to hear us talk about some of John Carpenter's other...uh...well, somewhat-less-than-classic films? You may enjoy Episode 79- "Prince of Darkness," Episode 112- "Christine," Episode 129- "The Fog" and Episode 142- "In the Mouth of Madness." And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 More like Village of the Dumb, am I right? Ha ha! Got them! Yeah, I really, I really hyped that one up before we started recording. It was a good intro. Oh my god, this movie. What is, what is happening in this film? It's based on the novel The Midwitch Cucko's. Oh did you ever see the 1960? How is it? It's good. Is it? It's like a little, nice tense little sci-fi thriller? Okay. Yeah. Would you describe this is a nice little tense sci-fi thriller? It's got Kirstie Allie at. I fucking love Kirstie Alley and we'll hear nothing bad about her so don't even try. I mean you've got Luke Skywalker, Superman.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Yeah. Kirstie. Yeah, Michael Perey. That's a guy that I'm sure I know. You're probably too young to remember the film phenomenon Eddie and the Cruisers. Yeah I think that sounds before my time. It was a movie of like the mid-80s that was the hell of like it was like some 50s Kruner went missing and the movie was like where what happened to Eddie? And it but he sounded like Bruce Springsteen in the 80s. But it was yeah so that's where I
Starting point is 00:01:24 I know Michael Perae from. Well what happened to Eddie? I can't ruin the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie. I the movie the movie. I the movie. I the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He was the movie. He was the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He the movie. He was like the m. He was like the m. He was like the m. He was, he was, he. He was, he. He was, he. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He the m. He. He. He. He's the m. He's the m. He's the m. I the m. I the m. I the m. I the mc. I the mc. I was, the mc. I was, the mc. I was, the mc. I was, thethat's where I know Michael Paret from. Well what happened to Eddie? I can't ruin the movie before you got to watch it. I'm never gonna watch it. Like I'd remember. Can I read you my first note about this movie? Yeah. A lot of dude nips. A lot of dude nips thi in the opening scenes of this movie. A lot of dude nips and a lot of lightly bleached hair. Yeah, not like heavily bleached, but just a touch of bleach. Like you might have done it on accident. It's like, I feel like it was the era of sun in. You know, yeah. You know, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Oh, yeah. People being like, oh, you just got to put lemon juice in and then, th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. the. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the thea. thea. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. th.. None of them worked. You're already blonde. I know. Oh I didn't have to do it. I was I was already head of the game. Head of the blonde game. Like I have frosted tips and frosted roots. I thought I was going to say rusted nips. I thought I was going to say rusted root. I thought I was going to say rusted root. Who thou? Who's that? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I thi? I thi? I thi? I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi thi tho? I was tho? I was tho? I was the th. I was the the the. I was tho? I was tho? I was the. I was the? I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th th th th the? I was the? I was the? I was theat theat? I was thoooo? I was theat theat? I was theat? I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the most important person in this film for this podcast. Who's that? Buckflower. Oh, Buckflower is, is he Carlton?
Starting point is 00:02:31 Yeah, he's the trunk. Of course he is. This movie does a thing that I find excruciating, which is that it introduces like 13 characters all at once and does it by just having them say each other's names over and over where they're like, hi Barbara, it's me, Sam, and this is Cindy, Cali, Frank, Brian, Kevin, Mark and Jimmy. Alan! Yeah. And then that scene ends and you're like, what? What? I thought I was going to get to see Christopher Reeves' butt. This is a real rip-off. I know when it panned down and you saw his like the waistman of his waistman, the waistman, the waistman, the waistman, the waistman, tie waistman, tie waist tie waist tie waist tie, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist the waist, like, the waist, the waist, the waist, the waist, the waist, the waist, the waist, the waist, the waist, like, the waist, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I was like, how dare you? This is a horror movie. Give me some ass. Oh my God. You think Christopher Reeve is good looking?
Starting point is 00:03:10 I mean, Superman. Yeah, that doesn't really mean anything to me. One of my close friends is like, she will cut you if you speak ill of Christopher Reeves. Well, I will refrain. My first note is his last remake knocked it out of the park. Which was the thing? Oh oh oh I didn't realize that oh god he made this oh his last remake not his last film. Yeah yeah I was gonna say there's got to be something
Starting point is 00:03:33 that happened between yeah a lot of things. Well there's like well movies between the things like Prince of Darkness and Mouth of Mouth the the trien the thi. It's the the th. P pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr pr. Like pr. Like pr. P. Like pr. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. th. th. P. th. P. th. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. You escape from New York. All of them. Mm-hmm. Big Trouble, Little China. Love BTILC. It's the best. This is really, really bad. This is really, really bad. So the urban legend around this, or urban lore, not legend, because nobody cares enough for it to be a legend. You're not going to say this movie, you're not going to say this movie this movie, this movie, this movie, this movie, this movie, th and name, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, they. thi, thi, they. they. they you, is that this was a contractual movie.
Starting point is 00:04:05 So to like, hey, make this movie, and you can do this other thing, and he's like, fine. Well, yeah, he certainly didn't put anything into it. No, especially not for the like star power that this movie had. Yeah. It's a fairly good story, too. It's like super spooky. It's like a tha tha tha super spooky, tha super spooky, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. thi. thi. It's real flat, right? It's very flat. For such a hilly country, it's a very flat storyline. You know how I love to be told that a character is a doctor over and over? I want you to know Christopher Reeve is a doctor in this film.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I feel like Chrissy Alley should have just been saying not a doctor. No, I'm not a doctor. But I want to do this stuff. She's a doctor. Yeah. But you know he's a doctor. She's sort of the sub doctor being a woman and all. Oh my god. So this is a story about a town that gets knocked out for a little while during a barbecue. Playtime for a festival with party? school kid party? Where they need finger paints. So they. they. But, this. But, this this to to to this to to this to th th th th th th to th th th th th th th th th th. But th they to do th. But to do the to do to do to do to do to do the to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do this stuff. But this stuff. But I this stuff. But I this stuff. But I this stuff. But I this. But I to do. But I I to do. But I I to do. But I to do. But I to do. But I to do. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I want th. But I want the the. I want the. I want the. I want to do the. I want to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the the the the the. out for a little while during a barbecue, playtime for a festival with a school kid party where they need finger paints. It's very stressful for that woman, the principal. God, Mark Hamill, I was reading something where they were just like, Mark Hamel woefully miscast in this movie. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a a reverent who is, he really doesn't have much
Starting point is 00:05:23 to do. No, just kind of get mad. And then like load a gun and ruin everything. Yeah. So they're having this suaray and everybody passes out. And everybody passes out. Yeah. But Michael Perey has been out of town and he's driving back into town. And then he passes out and wrecks its car and kills himself. Yeah, I thought he was going to be a main character in this film too. They don't even allude to him afterwards.
Starting point is 00:05:54 The scenes of everybody like sacked out on the ground though are very eerie. Yeah. Until you get to the hot dog man and then it's just very the barbecue. When he's on the barbecue? I actually loved that. It was great, but it was also like, he-he-he. It was a very Halloween store pressed into a grill. Like, I don't care how long he was face down on that grill, like his entire body would not be charred. Oh yeah, the back of his head was charred. I don't wonder how long it did 10 to four. Four is when everybody woke up. Okay, I didn't know that. Yeah. Cool. It's good to know. I don't know. Six hours on a grill.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Oh, your top might start to get to singed. It's true. No, it's not. It's not gonna. And I feel like the hot dogs were kind of like spayed out like they might have been his fingers. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. It's th. It's th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. burnt hot dog joke earlier in the film too, and you're like foreshadowing for a burned man on a barbecue. Ricky always burns the hot dogs. Whir, whar! Oh, poor Ricky. I love that John Carbenter is consistently casting bookflower and just being like, you're gonna be a drunk, he's like, got it. Yeah. What do you want me to do? Whatever you want. You know, I mean, you want to yell at some kids in this one? Yeah, definitely.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Do you want to just slouch on the floor and drink from a liquor bottle? Fine. Do you want to pass out with everybody and wake up and start drinking? Yeah. You know, it's surprising that more people didn't wreck during that blackout. It's a good thing they were all at that barbecue. There's literally one accident. Other people just like fell out of their cars.
Starting point is 00:07:30 There was like a stopped station wagon with a guy tumbled out of it. Why? I don't know. That's what he was doing when it, like. I wanted to see the scene that led up to, so we meet that to to the to to the to the to the the to to the the that that that that that that that that that that that that back up with Christopher Reeves, Dr. what is he, Dr. Alan Chaffey? That sounds made up. And he's met up with Kirstie Alley and a bunch of cops. And she's like a fed.
Starting point is 00:07:54 She's got all these long trench coats and she's always smoking. I think she's an epidemiologist. Yeah, she's dope. And she's just like super got gottothed to you. Yeah, and she's th. And she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that she's that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. super goth too, which I was into. Yeah, and she's talking in that like low, cursty alley voice that like is inimitable. I really do love curstialy. She's great. Yeah. And, but I want to see this, so when we meet up with them, the cops are like, the cops are like painting this white line on the road and we're like thin thian thian thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi'er, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi'-a'a'-a'-a'-a'-a'a'a'a'a'er, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, that where they're like just dumping cops that are falling over. Oh, God damn it. They do pull the one guy back with a rope, which I really liked. And then start slapping him. It works though. Dr. Susan Werner. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:08:38 she's cool. She's like, that sounds lightly German, but she has not a German air about her in any way. And while they're stated there, the cops wake up and the cows wake up because everybody got knocked out. Yeah. I like how everybody just stands up and is like, what happened? And then it turns out, all the ladies are pregnant or at least 10 of them are. Are there only 10 women of child bearing age in that town? are pregnant, or at least 10 of them are. Are there only 10 women of childbearing age in that town? I guess, yeah. Okay, just wondering. Or that's all the alien babies they brought with them.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Gotcha. I just had a ten back of embryos. Yeah. They did have a funeral for Michael Perrier, and as I wrote it, the hot dog man. Oh, was he the hot dog man's... Oh, I didn't realize that was hot dogman's funeral too. Man... There was two caskets. Suck me if I have to share a funeral with somebody. That is bullshit. Other than Rob, I guess. And you know what? No, I want my own. I have outside friends. I want Rob's high school friends at my funeral. You hear that Scott stay home. Sorry Jeff. I'm fucking Scott and Jeff. What's up, Doc? Definitely not listening to this podcast.
Starting point is 00:09:51 I was very excited that there's a Charles Fort reference in this. What was that? He's the guy who wrote Book of the Damned, which is this collection of like weird anomalous stuff throughout history, like in the Bible, a newspaper acoucepher accounts of like frogs raining down and spiders raining down and fish raining down. A lot of things rained. Yeah, that was a big thing back then. But he was just a really weird, interesting dude who just went into libraries and would look through books to find weird shit to put into his own books.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Charles Fort. It's where we get the term 14 for weird phenomena like the magazine 14 times. Oh cool. Yeah. Yeah. Today I learned. And they also mentioned Sherlock Holmes at the same time and it was like, yes. Yeah, yeah,ticking all my nerd boxes. Still doesn't make it a good movie I'm sorry. So all the ladies are pregnant which we find out over a period of like 20 minutes of movie time like it's like real-time all of them finding out that they're pregnant which is like a little bit excessive to me.
Starting point is 00:10:59 I like that we had all of the possible reactions to being pregnant. you had the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the like like like like like like like like like like like like like the like like the like the like the the like th. I like th. I like th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm. I'm the. I'm. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that we had all of the possible reactions to being pregnant. You had the virgin pregnancy, which almost ruined a marriage. You had the I'm excited pregnancy of Alan Chaffee and his wife. Barbara? Barbara, you're right. I know because they say it a thousand times. And then the mournful pregnancy of Jill McGowan, who lost Frank McGowan in the great Frank McGowan accident of 1995. It was a decent wreck though.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Good explosion. It was. I also felt like it was very rude to drive that truck by where all these people are coming out of like being in a coma for six hours and like just like take the wreck pickup by the entire tow. Oh yeah you're right oh my god right that's how she finds out about her husband's death is the wrecked pickup oh no yeah they were really on top of that because she is just woken up she's like rubbing her eyes when she sees it those two truck drivers are like we got to get this out of here. One thing that I really loved was when Kierce Alley gets
Starting point is 00:12:07 chauffeured away from like the scene with Chris Herrieve after she quotes Sherlock Holmes and then she gets into a fucking K-car to get to get chauffeured and I was like you're practically in the front seat. That thing is tiny as hell. What are you doing? Yeah we're all of the town cars rented. Oh man, and I feel like a K-car really locked this movie in time as well because they just do not exist anymore. Not at all. Can we talk about the marriage that was almost ruined and how funny it is? Yes. So it's Cali and Ben. Yeah. Ben appears to be, I don't know, 40 years older than Cali. He seems significantly older than her. And he's been away in Japan for a year when she comes back pregnant.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Being a professor. Right, he comes back, she's pregnant. Yeah. And at his return party, his welcome home party, a woman says to him, after a year in Japan, did you ever think you'd have to get used to being a dad? Like, that's a thing you would say? th. He he, th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a the. the. the. tooo. too. too. too. too. too. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to'd have to get used to being a dad? Like it's like that's a thing you would say. Like he won a baby? Yeah. I spent a year in Japan and all I got was this rotten baby. All I got was his immaculate conception? Ben has no lines until the end of the movie. He's just silent and sulking. And then like, I forgive you with tears. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, which is funny he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he wa he he he he he wa he wa he wa he wa he wa he he he he he he he he he he he he he wa like he want like he want like he want like he want like he want like he want like he want like he want he wa he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He th. He was th. He was th. He was thi thi the thi thi thi the thi thi thi. Like he won. Like he won. He won. He won. He was the thin. He's just silent and sulking. And then like, I forgive you with tears. Yeah. Which is funny because he is also a, he's like a carpenter stalwart as well. Like he's in a bunch of carpenter movies. He was in Prince of Darkness, he plays one of the technicians and that. I do not remember that movie at all. I have a question about Ben. Yeah. When he came on screen, I was like, I think I could rock that haircut. Oh, Alan, no.
Starting point is 00:13:48 You don't think I could pull off 90s, 50-year-old professor? He... It swooped back, not to the collar, longish hair. Like a bob around the back. He looked a bit like a panda bear or something. I don't think it's a great look. It was so smooth. Oh yeah, yeah, it's just and it was I don't think I don't think you should do that. Well my I'm getting excited because my hair is finally starting to go gray.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Yeah, so I feel like I'm gonna be like gray all over and I was like, well, you really need to embrace this and just become the professor that's been in Japan for a year? Yeah, do you think they didn't have haircuts in Japan? He looks like a he-man action-figure hair, like, but gray. It's not, it's really bizarre. So no, you say, I don't mean to crush your dreams, but absolutely not. I don't think it's a.. they they they they they their th. they thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they thi. they thi. they thi. they they they they they they they don't they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they don't have they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. Yeah. to have. to have to have. I to have to have. to be to to the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. they're they're they're they're they for our image on the podcast. God, I hope that never becomes a thing where you're like, could you, uh, today, uh, for our image. For our image. I'm going to need you to stop posting tele-tubbies memes. It's not good for our image.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Stop replying to everything with Kea Reeve's gifts. I would never make you do that. Christie Alley shows up and does a town meeting where she tells all of the women that they can abort if they'd like to and that's their choice. But all of their prenatal expenses will be paid if they allow themselves to be studied. And everyone's like, ooh, ooh, like $3,000 a month? Well, what if my wife and my daughter are pregnant? Well, that's $6,000. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Oh. Just the idea that having your prenatal expenses paid is a big, fucking gift. It's so bleak. Oh my God. Well, I feel like this movie and next week's movie are oddly very timely. OK. For what's going on in the world. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, that's. Well, that's. Well, that's. Well, that's. Well, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thii's thoooooooo'. that's that's that's that's that's that very timely for what's going on in the world. Oh yeah. Big discussions on health care and, you know, infectious diseases and infectious pregnancies.
Starting point is 00:15:53 I almost feel like we shouldn't do next week's movie. I'm going to try to stay off topic on that one. She was also like, we're going to bring in a team that can take care of your pregnancy if you want. I was like you got an abortion squad this rolls! I'm actually like the A-team van rolling up, slide into orbit and let's do this ladies. Bum. B-Ban. B-Ban. I knew you're gonna have to finish it.
Starting point is 00:16:25 I also love that she's in a fucking medical clinic just smoking a Virginia slim like it's fucking nothing. She looks, well it is fucking nothing to be fair it's like smoking a barstraw. She is extremely cool, always smoking. She's one of those people that I'm like, yeah, that's why smoking is cool. That just reminded me when I was on the treadmill today, at the gym, where I put my phone normally on the front of the treadmill was just filled with tobacco and I was like, I just put your smokes up there when we were doing the treadmill you dig it.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Damn. That's great. Just the fresh how to give a fucks nist of just like, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, just just just just just just just too, too, too, just just just just just too, too, took, just just just just just thi, thi, th fresh how to give a fuck's nest of just like I'm gonna throw a back of marbles up there and just see what happens And you gotta wipe those things down. You're clearly not wiping it down if you're leaving tobacco behind A sizable amount like you like you were maybe they were rolling cigs on the treadmill So they all keep the babies they do yeah, and they turn the barn they they try they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they they they they were rolling they were they were rolling they were rolling they they they they they they they were rolling they they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were the the the the the the the their their their their they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were rolling they were they were they they were they they were they were they were they were they were they were they all keep the babies. They do. Yeah. And they turn the barn into hospital so that these children are literally born in a barn. And suddenly there are babies. Kirstie Alley's joy at the stillborn baby and running it away, like, she got an extra order of wings that she didn't have to pay for, but need to get out of the restaurant quick with them.
Starting point is 00:17:50 She's like, oh, woobobobob. She practically tuc it into her drench coat. It's so fucking funny. It's fucking funny and also just like, what? Especially when you see the baby later. Um, I love how the labor scenes are protracted in this film. I also love that Christopher Reeve is delivering his wife's baby. Is he an OB? Because you don't just know what to do when you're a doctor. She's a superman.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Also, like, do you need to deliver your, like, why does this have to be about you, Christopher Rie? Just like let her have one goddamn moment. Let Barbara have her day. There are so many things that happen to Christopher Reeve in this movie and I'm like, are you, are you fucking kidding me right now? He makes out with a lady later and just like, you can't just kiss her. So yeah, I have a note that says, oh god, Alley is screaming that baby out of her she's like just push her just fucking push it up! She turns to an assistant goes bear down on her! Yeah dude no! And the guy just puts his hands on her abdomen and starts pushing it was like this no no no I don't I mean you've gone through like classes on birthing and they're like you might get down to the baredowns down where we bring in a orderly to sit on you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin' thin' to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the the the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the. the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to to to to to to to to to to might get down to the bear-down zone where we bring in Rick and he puts it down. Bringing an orderly to sit on you.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Bear down! So she steals that baby and then we see her drive she's driven somewhere when she gets out of the car she's had that baby in her lap and I was like wait is that baby really dead because like if she drove if it wasn't, you can't just drive within your lap, that's so unsafe. And if it was, put it in the back seat. Either way, it doesn't make sense. I thought, I was like, oh, she stole a living baby. That's great. That's a really good plot. No, no. She just stole it and put it into stasis? So the little kids, the next we see them, they are, we go from birth to like totter.
Starting point is 00:19:52 They go to, they're at their baptism, where they are all giant fucking babies. The first baby is like, I don't know, 13 that they're baptizing. Only one of them has a wig on at the baptism though, which is very funny. Although I was surprised to read that they did bleach the kids hair. No, oh my god. That's really their hair. Oh that is fucked up. And then they like spray painted them to make them glowing white. Hey kids. Hey kids. Hey adults! Don't bleach a kids hair. Hey, kids. Hey, adults. Don't bleach your kids hair. What do your kids be?
Starting point is 00:20:29 Oh my God. Don't make your kids act. Are you going to get this movie without a kid actor? Oh my god, I want adults playing these kids for all school. I wouldn't love that. Um. But when they're after the baptism and now they're a little bit older, I guess they're toddl phase is like pre-walking? Yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 00:20:51 I mean, they're ageless. Yeah, because the girl looks like she might be 13, while the boy, what is his name? Is that David? David? Yeah, David is writing his own, spelling his own name out and blocks at like 12 minutes old. Yeah, right. And then the girl is trying to murder her mom at like 12 minutes old. You know what? Maybe that soup was too hot to serve a baby. She's like, is the soup too hot? It's about to scald you. She, she glow-eyzes her mom? She gets Prince of Darkness eyes. She convinces her mom via some sort of psychic command to put her arm into this boiling pot of soup. Yeah. Just low simmer people. And her mom's like, oh my god, oh my god, and the play date's coming over. That then she takes the mom's arm out of the pot and the mom's like, no no, and then shows it back in.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Oh, God, that soup sucks. It's got a weird pecanto know. So yes, she gets Prince of Darkness eyes. Yeah. But sometimes their eyes glow green and sometimes their eyes glow red. And the difference in what happens between the two times, their times thas takes back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back. to the to to to the to to to to their to to to to their to to to to to their to to back back back back back back back back. to to to to to back. to their their their their their their their their their their their. their. to back back back. to back. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to back. to to back. to back. to to to to to to to to their their to their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the their the the the to back. to back. to But sometimes their eyes glow green and sometimes their eyes glow red and the difference in what happens between the two is negligible? Yeah, okay. But then when they glow full white, that's when they're at the maximum use of their powers. Oh, okay. So they're supposed to be
Starting point is 00:22:19 gradients of their power. So like green is like, you're gonna put your your arm in that pot. And th, th, th, the the orange, the orange, their, their, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. their, th. their, th. their, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And, th. And, th. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their th So like green is like, you're just gonna put your arm in that pot. And that's pretty powerful. Orange is like, you're probably gonna walk on that cliff. And then white is like, I'm gonna see your soul. Gotcha. These kids are such a dips. I have no, she double dips on the mom thrown her arm back in. And then the baby convinces Barbara that she should commit suicide. Yeah. She jumps off a cliff. Because Barbara was the one most excited to be having a baby. Barbara's storyline feels a lot like a cautionary tale of post-partum depression
Starting point is 00:22:57 to me. Yes, 100%. Yeah. So then we cut to this scene that I really liked of Kirstie Allie basically talking to camera in a dark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. to the to to to the to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to her their their to to to to to to to to to to to her their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I. I. I the. I the. I theat theat toe. I toe. I toe. I toe. I toe. I th. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. we cut to this scene that I really liked of Kirstie Alley basically talking to camera in a dark room where it looks like she's doing a confessional on a reality show. And then when it pans out, she's talking to her like a room full of men in suits and she's like, and thus I ask for another year of grant. And I was like, oh, is this what Grant writing is? It's like shark tank for crazy lady scientists.
Starting point is 00:23:28 This was another great leap in this movie, because she's asking for that after like the first year of these children existing, and then we cut to 11 year olds walking down the street. Yeah, they are, they are old now. Yeah, they are at the eye doctor, who is literally the worst eye doctor ever. Like have some fucking professional standards. So I have a name for these kids and I want to bounce it off of you. I want to workshop it because I have it one of two ways.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Okay, okay. I either want to call them baby boomer babies. Or baby baby boomers is much funnier. Because when we see them at 11 years old or whatever, nine years old, whatever they are, they all have white hair, they're dressed in like dowdy gray clothing, and like all the boys have on like old man gray windbreakers. I. And slacks. Where? Like, I have a child.
Starting point is 00:24:27 She does not buy her own clothes. Where were they getting those clothes? It's 1995. I would have actually loved it if the kids looked like that and acted like that, but we're wearing like actual 1995 kids clothing of the time, like bright patterned shorts, with like a matching tea, you know. Some backwards, cross-color. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the kids. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. the. together. ti ti ti ti ti ti. ti. together. th. the. th. th overall. Yes, but the kid was like, I can see into your thoughts. What is empathy?
Starting point is 00:24:51 What is a 401k? I should invest. I was like, oh God, they're just a little baby boomer. Maybe I'll get a boat. Baby Baby Boomers is really funny. I've always wanted to pick up woodworking for a hobby. So they have no empathy. They have no like human emotion. Wait, I need to finish one thing. Yes. I think officially in this is episode 271 I think. 272. I would like not to be that guy.
Starting point is 00:25:25 No, no, I questioned it. It was a question mark. I want to go on record as saying, of all the deaths we've seen, hundreds, nay, thousands of deaths. Death by eye drops is the worst. As in like the most poorly executed? No, it's just the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. It's the worst death we've ever seen. I don't even think she dies. I could not figure
Starting point is 00:25:52 out what the fuck was going on. What was in that other eye-dropper ball? I mean she shouldn't have put that in the little girl's eye on the first. She fucked up. That's a serious malpractice. And then she makes the poutiest pouty face when she's being forced to put him in her own eye. She's making that Florence Pugh face for Midsummer. Oh, Pew. I don't, like, that whole scene, I was like, what are you doing John Carpenter? I don't know. He was like, you know what, we need an optometrist? Oh man. Can my aunt play her?
Starting point is 00:26:29 Because she has no acting skills. So now the town is pretty much empty. We earlier during the baptism, the church was full of people. And now we go back to the church and it's just the families that have had kids. Right, I can't they all move. Those, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho tho. tho. tho. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to the church and it's just the families that have had kids. Right, I guess they all moved out of town. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Those kids are creeps. The baby baby boomers are really bringing down the town. Oh my God. And Mark, Mark Hamill is the first one to be like, it's the children. The children are doing this. Yeah, it's interesting that the Reverend is the first to throw stones. You figure his whole belief system would prevent him from doing one would say. What's the, there was a seed where a lady's drinking and she
Starting point is 00:27:14 offers it to the little games? It's um the Virgin. She's literally just sitting at a tombstone in the light of day drinking out of a bottle liquor. It's like the saddest cartoon of a depressed person you've ever seen. Oh that's right because she offers it to David who's trying to figure out empathy. Right. And he's like, oh sad drunk lady, I'll be your friend. But then they make her shoot herself, don't they? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because we got her funeral too. Yeah. Yeah. And everyone is dressed like shit at her funeral too. I was mad. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:48 That's stupid. They didn't go out and get their little tiny hats like in those Freddy Kruger movies. I mean the adults. Oh yeah. I was like, is this really what everybody's wearing a lot of dues and don'ts for funerals. Just clean yourselves up. Don't wear a plaid shirt. No, no.
Starting point is 00:28:14 I deserve better. Put a tie on. I might be dead, but I'll still know. Why is the hospital barn abandoned? Like why didn't they take the equipment with them when they left? Ooh, I don't know. Because Kierce the Ellie's just getting the money. She's just not, doesn't care once it's spent. I guess. It seems like they could have reused those hospital beds elsewhere.
Starting point is 00:28:32 It's government work, though, am I right? So, so sloppy, so wasteful. Our tax dollars. They go show Barbara's Tombstone, he's standing at his head, no dates. Who's got the time? So the kids are marching all over town two by two, a boy and a girl, except for the one little boy, David. Because he was supposed to be partnered with the stillborn child. Right. At one point, Jill and Superman are having a conversation about like why they care about the stillborn child? And she's like, what do you thi think th think th think th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they're, they're, they's, they're, they're, they're, th. they're, they're, they's, th.. they's, they's, th. they's, th. they're, they're thi, they're thi, they're thi, they're thi, thi, thi, thi. thoooooomoomoomoomoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thooomorrow, thooomorrow, thoomorrow, thi, thi, th care about the stillborn child and she's like what do you think they're like paired up or something and I was like have you not seen
Starting point is 00:29:08 them walking around town I haven't I've been here five minutes. It was the stupid question of this movie of stupid questions. This entire movie should just be called stupid questions. So they they decide that or Jill decides that Superman needs to teach these kids how to be humans. Oh my god, yes, because they respect him. Do they? No. They all just sit in this classroom reading encyclopedias. Yeah, he's like, why don't you take out a volume of the, and they all just pulled out and they're like, me, me, I'm, you're reading. They're just so obnoxious.
Starting point is 00:29:47 These are, might be baby-baby boomers, but they're also people who grow up to be like, I don't even own a TV. You know what? You know what? You know? You know, I don't think so. I mean, or I've just aged out of it, because we all, guess what, we were all watching TVs? Ben dies.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Because Ben is like going on a warpath about something and he almost runs over the kids, and then they take his mind over. And I love this T-intersection that he the end of the intersection is just a giant natural gas bin. It says Frank's natural gas or something, and he just flies right into it. I hope the roads never get icy in this town. It is the worst location for this tank of gas I've ever seen. And it's in front of, I don't know, 65 acres of empty space. Just 10 feet back.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Just 10 feet back. Honestly. So it is an enormous explosion. Oh, he, they have also killed Carlton at this point because he comes at them with a broom. Can you please describe Carlton's death to me in words? I can't. I don't remember Carlton's death. They get him to jump off the roof onto his broom. It's impaled with his own broom. I just remember him yelling at the kids because he's just kind of like I'm. What's going on Carlton? What's going on Carlton? He yells at one kid and the other kids all stand up and I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh I had a gang like this. No? These baby-baby boomers roll deep.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yeah, I like that. You never fight one of them. They're like skinheads. Oh. He climbs up on the roof of this two-story school house. Yeah, yeah, he does. He's got a broom, he just holds in front of his heart and dives face first into a pickup truck.
Starting point is 00:31:47 And then gets straight impaled by the broomstick. And the mannequin that hits the brink of truck is so good. I'm so into it. It's just, it's exquisite. I mean, that's a funny death being impaled by your broom. Yeah, yeah. That's funny. I mean, I feel like he's played a janitor in a lot of the movies that he's been in. I mean, that bowling alley one, he was a janitor. Oh, yeah, he was.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Also serving like very little purpose in the film. Just to say the worst swear words of actually. Yeah. Well Mark Hamel one of them. Yeah, he aims for the children. Yeah, but does not fire No, there are a lot of things in this movie that I thought were very funny like My next note just says I love the idea of Lucy walking into the room and saying they're going to be changes Like what would I say to that? You know? No, yeah, and she'd be like who? Oh? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, their! They's! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There? There! There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There's there! There's there! There are there! There are! There are there! There are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there! There are! There are! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There! There? There! There! There! There? There! There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? There? They are they! they are they are they are they are the the their their their their their their their there are their there are there are there are there there that, you know? No? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:47 And she'd be like, woo-ov their eyes getting old bright-colored? She hasn't done that yet. Not yet. Yeah. But she does sometimes turn red and fling herself to the floor. So maybe just evens. I also like the scene where Christopher Reeve goes to talk to Kirsty All. She's like, get out, get out, you still can. I'm leaving right now.
Starting point is 00:33:05 And she shows him the stillborn, the alien fetus. And he- It's in a jar of formaldehyde. It's in a jar of formaldehyde. It's got some like glow lights on it. And she's like, I have spent years building a wall around this on my mind so that the children can't see it because they can read your minds and she's like oh don't tell him I told you like why didn't you warn him now he knows I love when he starts building his wall oh his literal wall in your mind when it was the ocean I was like okay when it became a literal wall. His literal whole pink Floyd brick wall in your mind. When it was the ocean,
Starting point is 00:33:46 I was like, okay. When it became a literal wall, and that was the climax of the film, that was a bit much for me. I thought the OSHA was like, oh, this is probably like a fond memory that you can latch onto. Yeah. Do that's love watching waves. And... But then when he builds the fucking brick wall in his mind, it's so stupid. It, and th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. the the th. the th. the their th. their their their their thi. thi. their their their their he builds the fucking brick wall in his mind, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. And they start drilling through it with their minds, but there's like literally drilling happening. That's the climax of this film. Is Christopher Reeve acting like he's trying to push out a big shit?
Starting point is 00:34:20 But really he's holding his mind wall in place. Like when he walks in with that case, I was like, oh, tell me this mother fucker built a bomb. Oh, he built a bomb. You have to be kidding me. He went somewhere and got a box of dynamite. He's a bomb. And then I knew how to attach an alarm clock to it, because don't worry. I'm pretty sure if you just lay the alarm clocked clock, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, the alarm, to the alarm, to to thum, thum, thum, tho, tho, to thi, tho, tho, tho, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to on top of the dynamite it makes a bomb. Oh, when it rings. They just need some electrical tapes.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Mm-hmm. Got it. This is after he's like, for no apparent reason kissing Jill. Yeah, I mean, was, do they think we just needed a love story? I guess. I didn't. These people are at the like, fuknideer of their lives, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. people are at the like fucking nadeeer of their lives. And it's like, oh it's not going to get any lower than this. Ah, blah, blah. And then Kirstie Alley comes back and she's like, I was just informed that the other towns
Starting point is 00:35:13 with blackout children have been destroyed. One who informed you. Two, how did you not know before? Three, when were they destroyed? What are you fucking talking about? And then the National Guard shows up to kill the kids. Yeah. And the Highway Patrol. It's so weird. Like, they bring in so many people
Starting point is 00:35:32 you'd think these kids were Osama bin Laden. I thin. I thought the girl playing Mara was pretty good. Yeah. I thought she was like really engaging to watch. I think her and David were good, a little little David was a little cute guy. Oh he is a real little cute guy. Oh and we're supposed to like date so yeah David's learning empathy, sort of. He's becoming more human than human. Is that because he doesn't have a partner? I guess. Oh, she's got a carrying mom. What's the message? What's a mrs? What? He's a their. A? their? their. A? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? A. A. A. A. A? A. A? A. A. A? A. A. A the the the the the the the the the th. A little little little little little? A little little little little little little? A little little little little little little? little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A? A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. t. A. t. t. little? A little? A. little? A little? A little? A little little? A little little little? A little little little? A little? A little? A little? A little? A. A. A. A. wears glasses? That's the only difference between her and everybody else in town?
Starting point is 00:36:06 He does his mom wear glasses? She does what she's driving. Oh, his mother is far-sighted. I love, I just love the idea of like the fucking highway patrol rolling out with M16s pointed at nine-year-olds and just be like, we're gonna fucking do this. And then the kids turn the one cop on all the other cops? And then all the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, their their thops, their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the fucking do this. And then the kids turn the one cop on all the other cops, and then all the cops on each other. Yeah. And they kill all of them. They, first of all, they showed up with the Department of Corrections bus.
Starting point is 00:36:34 What were they gonna do with it? They were clearly gonna have to kill those kids. They were not gonna restrain them to the department. you bring that gym? Yeah, it ends with like 400 dead cops. Copp-slaughter. An Acopolispse? Ah, a coppolis now. Did I do it? You did it. Nailed it. When they also make a helicopter fall out of the sky. This movie is so silly. So, okay, so then the towns people show up with torches for no fucking reason. It's 1995. You have flashlights galore. Torches and pitchforks, like they're going to hunt a fucking Frankenstein. They, why did they do that? Are we supposed to not question why these people have torture? I mean, I know, I know that like for the story of what happens to the Reverend's wife,
Starting point is 00:37:26 there needs to be an open flame, but she's carrying a torch. Where did she get it? Did she make it? Did she make all of them? Who lit them all? I have so many questions. We know from in the mouth of with the town, like when he keeps driving back into the town and there's the mob there with all their torches. But that's a movie about weird fictional nonsense.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. The Reverend's wife lights herself on fire. Yeah. Good thing she brought her like her good bag, because that leather bag doesn't burn. Because it has something in it that Jill needs later. Car keys. Yeah. It's just like become sort of a bad action movie for a while. Like it's cops shooting up cops and there's helicopters overhead and then like, I don't know, people on fire. And then it's just is going to be a reference for all the kids out there.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Christopher Reeve seems to be doing some sort of weird Joe Cocker impression while he's up there. He's like, like trying to keep his wall up. I thought it looked like he was trying to push out a big shit. But that's fine. I guess Joe Cocker kind of looked like he was t the climax of the movie? The climax of the movie is a little girl staring at a grown man both of them struggling with their brains and cut-ins of a wall, a brick wall, a literal brick wall. Yeah with bricks being nibbled at. Yeah, nibbled. I did really like the way it looked
Starting point is 00:39:01 when her eyes just kept glowing harder and harder till where her skull became translucent. You saw she had alien skull. I thought that was extremely stupid. I wrote, the brick wall, her face. The brick wall, her face. This movie is fucking hysterical. I felt that was very, uh, a lot of this movie was a X-Files thing to do. I have to say if this had this this this this this was a this movie this movie was a thiii-a thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s, thi, thi, thi. thi-s. thi-s. I was, th-s. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. thi-s-s-s. thi-s. thi-a-s. to-a-a-a-s. to-a-a-s. to-a-s. to-s. to-s. thi. thi. thi-a-Files thing to do. I have to say if this had been an X-Files episode, I would have loved it.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it wasn't. It was a John Carpenter movie, a full-length feature. So she finally breaks down the brick wall, sees Christopher Reeve's thoughts and kabloooble. The barn blows up. Right, he's been looking at the clock, to the clock, to the children, to the clock, to the children. Her face, the brick wall, her face, the brick wall. It's so bad. And then we see David and mom driving off and she's like, oh man, we'll fix this I guess or something later. By. And David's just gazing pensive? Yeah, what are we to take from that? th empathetic about nature now. I don't know what like... Like, is he still dangerous? No, he's fixed now.
Starting point is 00:40:08 He's more human than human. Okay. Yeah. And then like, finally a Carpenter score kicks in. Because it's the first time we've heard it. Yeah. You know who it was a this soundtrack? Dave Davies of the Kinks. No shit. Well, it seems like you would come up with like something more memorable. Yeah, yeah, I feel like it was a little bit of a wasted Dave Davies moment.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Can I read you my last note? Whatever happened to Cali? Who's Cali? Ben's wife? The moment was the big hair. Oh, I don't know. She just disappeared halfway through the movie. Isn't that weird? She was like a main character and then she was just gone. After Ben's hair was gone, she didn't have anything to live for. I guess. Katie. Alan. Would you like to go to the writing space? Sure. You want to go first? Sure. I have seen this movie before,
Starting point is 00:40:56 like two years ago. This time it was better than I remember it being. Oh no. It's still a low-tier carpenter. This time it was better than I remember it being. Oh no. It's still a low-tier carpenter. But I laughed a lot more this time. It was much more silly. I was like less like, this is just bad. And I was like, oh, this is redonculus. I'd give it a four. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:21 I saw this movie as a kid. Um, on cable, I think. And the only scene I remembered, which is a scene we forgot to mention, was Kirstie Alley laying down on the table, unzipping her shirt and then stabbing herself, like slicing herself open. While chewing the scenery. Oh God, she's chewing every bit of that scenery. She's like, this is my goodbye.
Starting point is 00:41:43 That is the only scene I remembered. And I was like, are we just think it's sitting on this book? Nope, no boops. No, no boops. It's so bad. It's really bad. I, it's one of those movies where you're like, are they being sincere? Hmm. Who though? Is Christopher Reeve being sincere? You don't think so? I think everybody was just getting a paycheck. I, that makes me like it less. I'll see your four and I will match you a four. Oh, excellent. It's just, no, that is not excellent. That is subpar. Oh, we did forget to mention that there is a John Carpenter cameo in this. Oh, I didn't see him.
Starting point is 00:42:17 He's in the gas station early on in the movie. a payphone and he has a ponytail that goes halfway out of his back. It's a good look from nobody. Can I read you a mail bag that we received? I would love that. Nowhback! This is very sort of self-serving, but I think you'll enjoy it. Most things that we say in mail bag are, to be fair, self-serving. Alan, your sister is my leader at work. And she pointed me in the direction, the direction, their, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to thia, to to thi, to thi, to me, thi, thi, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, thi, to me, too, too, tooomomomomomomomomomomomomom. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to me, to me, thi. to me, to me, to me, thi. thi. to me, thi. thi. thi. to me, thi. too, too, too, tooomorrow, too, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, too, tooome.a, direction of your podcast. Oh shit. I love it! Oh no! I listen to you guys almost every day. Not only does it make my workday go much faster but it really
Starting point is 00:42:52 tears me up on the not-so-good days. I'm always cracking up listening to you too and then she suggests that we do Evil Did. Oh maybe the remake. Oh, thanks for the left. Keep it up, Brittany. Oh Brittany, thank you so much. How's Alan's sister as a boss? She good? Oh I'm sure she's great. Okay, good. You just said? Yeah, she seems real nice. Yeah, she's super nice. She's like hyping us up to people. That's awesome. I'm glad she's proud of you. Oh, that's a thi. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th.. Me too. Oh, well thank you, Christine, and thank you, Brittany. Yeah. Oh, that's really nice. It is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Oh, jeez. I thought you'd enjoy that. I did. Do you want some reviews? I do. We've got a review on the podcast app that I use, podcast republic. to be clear. It just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. two minutes to get on my phone because I kept accidentally playing an episode and then I closed the window. Aren't you normally clicking through ads on accident on that one too?
Starting point is 00:43:48 I think maybe I should switch apps. I just don't know what else to use. Do you have a recommendation? Please give me a recommendation. I have any Androidal. This is from Kara Dactel. That is very good. Just recently found this and I freaking love it. Can't Hardly Wait is my favorite 90s movie and that episode got me hooked. Thank you, Kara Dactyl. It is my favorite 90s movie too and also
Starting point is 00:44:11 You know not a great representation of what we do here, but I'm glad that you liked it and I hope you listen to a lot of episodes. Yeah. Yeah. May I recommend Days of Thunder? Over the top, Roadhouse. Roadhouse. Street fighter. And then we've th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, then, then, thine thine the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tha tha tha tha th, th, th, tha th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha to tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha to the top, Roadhouse, Street Fighter. And then we've done our Romcoms. You've got your... I love actually? Uh-huh. You've got mail. Is that it?
Starting point is 00:44:33 Is that it? That's a horror movie. It's a horror movie. It's a horror movie. Warm bodies. These might be the ones that get you into the further horror movies. Yeah. So thanks th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the tho' tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to to Yeah, so thanks for taking the time to write and I'm glad that you found us and I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad you got a caradacto because that's a good-ass name. I know it's a good-ass name. What are we doing one two punch of stupid. And we're recording that
Starting point is 00:45:00 episode right after this one, so it's just... Mm-hmm. A, we're doing Black Death. Uh-huh. Which, like, I wish we hadn't done a contagion movie, but we picked this like a month in advance, and I don't know, it's too late now, we already made the video, is that, like, our stance we're taking it? It's really, no, I've already watched it and we're not doing something, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be a to be their their their to bea, to bea, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, too, too, thea, thea, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-a, to-s.a, th-s, th-a're not doing something else. Yeah, it's true, I've had to pay to rent it because it's not on Netflix anymore. It's true, and I wasn't doing Tubie again. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:45:32 So yeah, Black Death, as was pointed out to us, as was pointed out to us. A big, big, big, sikes. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. to. It. It. to. to. to. to. to. to. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It..............................................................................................................................................that's right. He's the dad for the little kid. That's right. Thank you for whoever pointed that out to. Yeah, yeah. There are a bunch of people like, uh, actually. I like it when they actually us on stuff like that that we're literally wrong about. I don't like an uh, actually about opinions, but like when we're wrong about our own podcast, I feel we deserve to be corrected. So thank you thi. thinnene. their their their their their to to to to to to to to their to to to to to their to to their their their their a their a their a their a their a their a their a to to to to their a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to to to to to to to to to to th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. thu. th. th. the. the. the. the. their the. their th. and appreciated. Things we should definitely remember. Yeah, things we should care about more than they do, you know. So yeah, you can go to T-Public.com and search where of ambulance you'll be able to find merchandise there. And you can find us on the internet, talk to us on the facing books and the Instagramers and the Twitters. Thanks to everyone who has been interacting with us on the Twitter's. Thanks everyone who has been interacting with us on there. We've got a lot of love recently and it's very nice. It is really nice. Entimate. Whatever we handled it.
Starting point is 00:46:32 I wish I could crack my knuckles loudly. Ooh, just the one, and it hurt me. So come back next week for Black Death. Or don't, like it's fine. Oh it's gonna be fun. No it'll be real fun. Eddie Redmayne. And thanks for listening to another episode of Wormow Fabulance. Bye. Bye.

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