Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 273- Black Death (2010)

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

In this week's episode, we are discussing the 2010 film "Black Death" but please be assured that we did not glibly choose this movie; we picked it back in February to be the final installment of our m...onth of folk horror and the actual episode has been recorded for a couple weeks. So, not ill-intentioned but certainly ill-timed. That said, let's make the best of it. Special topics for your consideration include: a deep and abiding knowledge of both British crime drama actors and the finances of 50 Cent, the current level of dopeness of our haircuts, what this movie is trying to be and does that make sense and also hey was this written by a 12 year old boy?, and Sean Bean: will he survive? (lol) Did you miss the first appearance of the Bean on Werewolf Ambulance? He's in Episode 111- "Silent Hill." Do you like recognizing British actors? How about Episode 131- "Hot Fuzz" or Episode 160- "Shaun of the Dead"? Or maybe you're just into medieval times, in which case you could either listen to Episode 229- "Army of Darkness." MEDIEVAL TIIIIIIMES! Hey, you may have noticed our new theme music! Super special thanks to Aaron "Toxic" Mortimer for making it for us-- if you enjoy that, you can find his SoundCloud at https://soundcloud.com/toxic_dsm or contact him on Facebook (ToxicDSM) or Instagram (toxic_dsm). And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 May I read you my first note? It says, suddenly I am dreading this. Was it the monks chanting? Yeah. It was just, it flat, like the film began and I was like, oh no. Oh no. Was it the monks chanting? Oh yeah, it was just, it flat, like the, the film began and I was like oh no Can I sweeten this deal right at the beginning here? I would love that would you like an Eminem egg? They're peanut butter I would love one let you get your own out so we don't pass any plagues around oh god Welcome to plague talk. Oh, they're huge. Yeah, yeah, they're the size of like robins egg candies. Oh, I love those I do too. Thank? Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Oh, the th. Oh, th. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, theat. Oh, theat. Oh, theat. Oh, the. Oh, theat. Oh, the. Oh, the the the the the the the the ague Talk. Oh, wow, they're huge. They're the size of like robin's egg candies. I love those. I do too.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Oh, but it's all peanut butter. Yeah. I thought you might like that because I know you like peanut butter. I love it, thank you. God what a thoughtful thing. I also really love this teal color. hand as well. Easter, huh? Yeah, thanks Jesus, sorry about you die. I almost bought you a thick bunny but I was like, I don't want to deal with that. What did you think was gonna happen? I don't know. I don't know. What do you try to, you have to bite into it and you're like, oh I think I might lose a tooth on this one. Yeah, I thin. that's a good point. What movie are we talking about this week?
Starting point is 00:01:26 Oh boy, Black Death. 2010. twenty ten. Sean Bean. Set in 1348. Not a joke. One of my favorite black metal bands is called 1349. Because that's the year the play game to Norway and if you're like that's just like nah we're dicks
Starting point is 00:01:49 right when all those Norwegians died so do we we we that what it sounds like better yeah yes so this is the plague times where there's witchcraft and devilry how do you feel about plague times do you like that as a setting sure okay okay fine okay okay that thi thi tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their at their at their at their at their at their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the theat. theat. theat. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the. and devilry. How do you feel about plague times? Do you like that as a setting? Sure. Okay. Fine. Okay. How do you feel about Stephen Hawking playing Eddie Redman in this movie? What? I mean Eddie Redman played Stephen Hawking in that other movie? What? Oh, wait. Wait! Wait! Wait! I was not aware that Eddie Red Main played Stephen Hawking. I'm sure it's fine. In my notes he's only referred to it Stephen Hawking. I like the idea that Stephen Hawking was playing Eddie Redmayne was playing Monk Osmond in this film, which is just very confusing. It's multi-layered. Yeah. How did you like David Warner? Oh, you know I got stoked. Rob and I watched this movie the other day? Yeah. And he was like oh, this guy died today. And I was like, the they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. I. I. I. I's. I's. th. I's. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. I. I. th. I. th. th. I. th. I. th. I. th. I. th., oh, this guy died today. And I was like, who? And he was like, the actor from the Omen. I was like, David Warner didn't die today.
Starting point is 00:02:48 And he was like, no, yeah, he did, you should look it up. And they did, and it wasn't. It was the guy from the Exorcist. And I was just like, well. You're a fucking liar. Or, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. David. David. th. David. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. the. the. the. the. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was really confused. Uh, I took a bum when Max von Seedel died. Oh, yeah. I loved when he showed up in anything. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, but it wasn't David Warner. Oh, I'll be legit sad. He's been in a ton of movies that we've done too. Yeah, totally. That waxworks movie? The Omen? Uh, he just shows up randomly on shit. Yeah. this movie. He's a monk. th. like, what he was calling him father, I was like, is that like a religious father? That's not really his dad, is it? I think so, because he like comes over and like cups his face for a while. No, because you can't have kids if you're a monk. What? Eddie Redman's fucking on the side?
Starting point is 00:03:36 I know, but that's like, he don't plague times, who knows what's going on. It's true, just go for the gold. You know, your lifespan is like 10 more minutes, you know? So, Eddie Redmayne has Avrilovian as his girlfriend. Not the real Everly. Truly wish it had been. Were you singing Skaterboy every time she was mentioned? No, I like the other one. What's the other one?
Starting point is 00:04:07 Why did you have to go and make it so complicated? I was trying to remember the you saw and you come and you peg and you black and you turned it into? My Pavlovian response to Avrilovine, since no one asked. Please. Do you remember the rapper Little Mama? Little Mama. Little Mama. My lip gloss is popping.
Starting point is 00:04:29 It's on my running mix currently. Yes, so fucking rips. She did a remix of that song. Who? It was Avril Lavee and Little Mama. No, they didn't. Yes, they did. No, thank you.
Starting point is 00:04:41 And one of the hooks is just, little little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, the, the, going, Little Mama, Avril Levine. And that's when I hear her name, that's what Q is in my brain. That's pretty good though. Man, what happened to Loll Mama? She became like a, she was like on the voice or one of those shows as a judge for a long time. Oh. Why do I know a little fax? But I'm glad you do. I wonder what people think my
Starting point is 00:05:05 musical taste is. I sometimes wonder what your musical taste is. I just know a lot of stuff about a lot of dumb stuff. That's I think totally reasonable. This is a movie full of basically British actors you've seen in other things. Oh yeah, John Lynch? I call him Jim from the fall. Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man, God, he's good. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I th Jim from the Fall. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, God, he's good. It's a good fucking actor. Sean Bean, he's getting a lot of mileage out of that haircut, isn't he? That wavy bob. I was like, did he just bring his armor from the other movie? He is literally just strolling from set to set being that guy. Well, you all need a barramere? Come here. What's there? He's like, he, he, he, he, he, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. th. th. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he. He, he, he. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, like, he's like, he's like, like, he's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he's like, like, he's like, he's like, he's like,. What's going on? He's like taking a left at the last boramere and becoming the new boramere? Like, so strange. The guy who is Dallywag, the guy with a terrible teeth,
Starting point is 00:05:55 he did this movie called Ghost Stories. Have you seen this? It's good. We should do it sometime. It starts Tim from the guy who plays dally wag. And it's a really interesting interesting thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th office and that guy from the guy who plays Dallywag. And it's a really interesting take on ghost story horror movies. But yeah, this movie stars a bunch of people that like in 2010 I had no fucking idea who they are and now I'm like, oh John Lynch. It was hard for me to take him seriously as a like buff guy crusader because I was like you're just a detective. He's shirtless for half this movie. Yeah which is unreasonable I felt. Shirtless and an old man Prince Valiant Wake. His baby bangs are upsetting.
Starting point is 00:06:39 But he does have this like gravitas that he rings to it. He's the best actor in this movie 100% hands down. I thought it might be any red mane. He's okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's all. It's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's he. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's theat theat theat theat theat. He's theat the. He's th. He's th he rings to it. He's the best actor in this movie, 100% hands down. I thought it might be Eddie Redman. He's okay. He's all right. He's doing his thing. Sean Bean is just shone bean in and up?
Starting point is 00:06:50 He does have to, that's not acting. I feel like he just is that. I mean, you can't just be that over and over. to Avril Levine. Yes, please. So the plague is coming to the monastery where Eddie Redmayne and David Warner and Avril are. And so Eddie Redmayne stupidly is like, hey, go wait at Murder Woods and I'll come out in a few days and then we'll go do stuff. Yeah. I think is their plan. Well, it seems like, no, I don't think she thinks he's ever coming back. She's like, I'll wait for you at dawn for a week and then I'm gone. Right. And he's, she's asking him to choose between her and his God, basically. Which is like, come on. Seems like a no-brainer.
Starting point is 00:07:31 You're picking God. I'm a try and Averleveen. Little Mama and Everleveen. Um, God, I'm an idiot. So, and then these witch hunters seemingly, but they're like mercenaries for Christ, I guess. They used to hate the French, now they hate witches. It's basically my take. It's as good as any explanation for what the fuck they're doing.
Starting point is 00:07:57 They have like torture devices that are just immediate murder devices, like the splitter? Yeah, that felt like it was written by a this movie feel like it was written by a hyperactive teenage boy. Oh yeah, for sure. And then other parts of it feel like it's written by a person who wanted to write the Wickerman but just really enjoyed the shit out of their first D&D adventure, you know. This movie made me 100% percent want to do one of my favorite shitty movies.
Starting point is 00:08:25 What's that? Which is called The Thirteenth Warrior, which is a movie directed by the guy who directed Predator. Okay. Based on a Michael Crichton book. Okay. That follows the trials and travails of an Arab poet who links up with 12 Vikings to go fight monsters in the woods. Okay. So if you're casting an Arab in a movie, you're going to go with Antonio Banderas. Oh no! Oh no!
Starting point is 00:08:56 Oh no! Oh no! I own and have seen this movie at least 20 times. Why? Because it's so good. Okay, great. Put it on the list. So I figured now that we're getting into action horror movies, we can really start branching
Starting point is 00:09:13 out into 13th Warrior. I can't believe we're doing Ghost and Mr. Chicken as your birthday and not 13th Warrior. We can always switch it up. No, we already made the video. It's true. It's true. I just don't take these backs. Nope. So these guys show up the the mercenaries for Christ and they're like, hey, we heard there's like this village that's not blagged up. So we're gonna go down there and see what kind of devilry is going on, witchitutes. Why though? Because, um, God? Yeah. I mean, this is not a good era for God. Like, his people were doing a lot of bad change. Sure, sure, absolutely. The whole, the witch trials and all that stuff is a real bad scene. Yeah. This is just another problem like Wickerman where there's, nobody is the good guy. Except I think Eddie Redman is supposed to be the good guy, but then isn't.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Yeah. And see, I think once again, much like Lord Summer, the witch in this movie is the good guy. Well, she does a pretty fucked up thing to him though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, she didn't expect him to go full fucked up afterwards. Yeah, you can't manipulate people like that. Yeah, play types. Yeah, no, there are no good guys and there's just some, like it's just varying degrees of shittiness. Yeah, it really is. And it's just like you're watching it thinking like, but
Starting point is 00:10:38 why am I doing this? I feel like there's a certain threat in this movie that's supposed to be like, lovable thugs. Because there's the one bald-headed guy who like refuses to lift his head up and just wants to stare at everybody sideways with his head and his shoulder like that's his tough guy move. Oh yeah, what's going? I don't know. That he just had like torturer, a truth-getter. And I was like, did you say torturer? It's 1348. Is that really what you would say? Torturer? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:07 It just felt so shitty to me. It felt very first draft. Oh yeah, I don't think there were a lot of drafts on this movie. Mm-hmm. But, thug oh does he yeah because like he protects Eddie Redmayne when like some shit's going down at various points during the movie and like whatever yeah so they're going into the Dent Witch Woods they've heard rumor that like the men have turned to savages in these woods which they have
Starting point is 00:11:43 they're just like murderers now. Yeah. And they've killed, or they try to kill our band of merry men. Right. While they're hanging out in a cave. Which is all, uh, Eddie Redmayne's fault because he was looking for Avril. But instead he found like her horse and a bloody cloak. Yeah. And I was like like th th, like th, like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They're, thi. They're, thi. And, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, well, that horse probably killed her. Don't you think? I also love that he finds the bloody cloak and then just rubs it on his face.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Oh no! And that is the last thing I would do. My thought was that like, oh, this is obviously written by a man because of a woman was like, oh, it's bloody. You know, it could just be her time. Yeah, yeah. Also, there's like this scene where they're all sitting around the campfire talking about how they were super smart and had these cool ranged attacks against the French with longbows.
Starting point is 00:12:32 And then in the very next scene, they're surrounded on all sides by men who are far away. And they're like, what are we gonna're just fucking bragging about your cool ranged weapons. They didn't have their longbows with them. Why? They're all melee attacks. You can't, if you're going to have an adventuring party, someone's got to be a ranger. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:12:54 I agree. Maybe this person didn't spend enough time playing their D&D. Just that in gods and also the wicker man. How did you feel about the scene where they came upon the witch burning? Oh I thought it was stupid you? I love two minds about it because they come upon this witch burning and you know Sean Vian like takes the woman down from the where she's going to be burnt and then stabs her to death and that being like the more compassionate death that he's given to her to her to her to her to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's the the the the the the the. the. I I I I I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeeateate. I'm thooooooooooooooooooooome. I'm the. I'm the. I her to death. And that being like the more compassionate death that he's given to her. Okay but like is stabbing someone in the gut the most merciful way to kill them? My thought is, no maybe not. It's true.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Yeah, although in this movie gut wound, gut wound, the gut wound, the thunds. Yeah, because they actually use the gut wound the friend of the the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. thu. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their th. their thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the. the. the. the. theathea. thu. their theathea. that thuuuuuuuuuuu, the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most most most most the most most most most most most most most most the the the the the the the the the the the thu. the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu right, you're right. Which is the poking stick that goes into the armpit and into your heart. Okay. Yeah. Maybe he did that to that lady too, I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. If I cared, if I cared, I would know. But it was also like, you could just take her with him, what do you and put her, help her find another place to live where the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people th people the people to th. to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. that that that the. that that that that that that that that that the. that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to that. Yeah. And I did the right thing. I'm Sean Bean. Thank you for coming to my dead talk. I will also be dead. Not a moment too soon. So when they're in that melee fight, though,
Starting point is 00:14:15 the one guy bites another guy's neck. And I was like, that seems like a great way to get the plague. I thought that that that seems that seems the same the same that seems the same the same that seems that seems the same that seems th. I that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems thague that seems th. I was like that seems that seems th. I was like that seems that seems th. that seems that seems to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. to get. to get to get. to get. to get to get to get to get to get to get the plague. to get the plague. too. toeat. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the same thing. Yeah. And then another guy like hacks some dudes like carotid artery and it just like rays in his mouth and he's like ah ha ha ha! And I was like well 1348 they may not have known about like germs. No no they certainly didn't know about germs yet. Although someone in this movie mentions germs and I was like, no. They didn't even know about germs during the Civil War. I know because Rob tells me about it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. And it. And it. And it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. It's. the. the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And. And, the. And. And. And. And, the.? They didn't even know about germs during the Civil War. I know because Rob tells me about it all the time. Yeah, but I saw it was surprised again first pass. Yeah, yeah. Can I read you my next note? Mm-hmm. If horses are so smart, how do they just run off with whomever's riding them? Like how are horses getting stolen all the time if they're so smart? Like how are horses getting? their they're they're their they're they're they're they're thol thol they're they're thol tho they're tho? tho tho? they're tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi. tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi again again again again again again again again again again again again again again again again again again again thi? th. thi. thi. thi. I I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm to to to to thi. I'm to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. I thi. I thought, oh, they're so sensitive. They're such loving animals. And then another person gets on them,
Starting point is 00:15:06 and they're like, you're my dad now, and just leave. You know? I think that it's like, well, got another back asshole. I guess I'm going to go in that direction now. I just don't think it's smart. You just got to turn the key. I don't think anyone's raising carolas. They just really respond to me. They're so soulful. When I trim my carolas tires, like I feel like we just have a bond.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Why is my horse making this weird rattling noise under the hood? Why don't I spill a milkshake on my horse? I bet a horse would be easier to clean, though. For sure. Oh, man. I have a note that says John Lynch is such a good-ass actor, but my autocrack change it to lunch. Good, wait. John Lunch is such a good-ass actor. Who's he? That's like a game I like to play on road trips where I think of every song that I can where love is a noun and sing it but replace love with lunch. Like. Bad companies, the win.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Yeah, their company. I feel like making lunch. I also changed that one for gloves. I feel like making gloves for you. Why gloves? I feel like making gloves. Are you a little knitter? You making little mittens. Ah. Um, the handsome.
Starting point is 00:16:37 The handsome, quote unquote, handsome, uh, about handsome outlaw's hair is so fucking senseless. Which one is the handsome one? The young dark-haired guy with the pouty lips. He's like the one who recants or renounces me and. His hair is fucking senseless. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Like, who is cutting it?
Starting point is 00:16:58 I think it's supposed to allude to him cutting him. He should do a, he should get a mirror. I guess he, yeah, he is like the sexy one. Oh yeah. He's like the one you're supposed to care about, I think, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. Because they're also trying to make you care about John Lynch, but to be fair, I do not give a fuck about either of them. No, he's the, he's the Papa Bear in this clan. He's this. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, he's, he's the. He's the. He's the. He's. He's. He's the. He's, he's. He's. He's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the he's the Papa Bear in this clan. He's the one who is like I gotta look after everybody, I gotta take care of everybody, everybody's okay because when we've one of their team gets sick and has like the goiter the swollen node in his neck and John Lush is like oh I'm so sorry I'm gonna miss you dog and like real sad. about it real broke up. He's everybody's best friend, but he's also just like a heartless murderer. Yeah, if you're with the devil, if you're in league with Satan. Gotcha, or being accused of being
Starting point is 00:17:50 in league with Satan, a lot of the woman who is about to be burned as a witch. Yeah. Have you ever listened to the conviction podcast? I haven't, should I? Their second season is all about the satanic panic panic. And it goes deep on the people that that that that that that th that th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. If th. If th. If th. If thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the their their their thi thi thi thi's thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, that. Yeah, thate thate thate thateateateateateateateateate that. Yeah, thateateateat. Yeah, thateateateate thate thate th And it goes deep on the people that were arrested. OK. For that stuff. And so watching this movie having listened to like the most recent episodes of that, it's just heartbreaking. Like the idea of like how people's lives are ruined over fantasy. Like, do they talk about the daycare, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Yeah, yeah. That's just such a sad, horrifying story. And even like, not to go too far down this, but like people that were arrested and then their friends would be arrested. And like one family went on the run. They grabbed their kids and left. That's horrible. Because they're like, they're going to come after us, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they, and they, and they, and they're, and they, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they, and they're, and they're, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, not tho.e.e.e, not to to thooooooo... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to ran and they're like, well, you must have been doing something. Oh my God. And this is what, the 1980s? 80s? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Oh my God. Yeah, because there was a big trial, and I think 91 was the last big trial part of it. Yeah, it's just insane. But like, the witch trials and all I'm down with the J.C., but I'm not so tell with the Satan part of the sense. Sure. It's a metaphor. Don't at me. So yeah, they, they, they, like, they get to the village and I was like, oh,
Starting point is 00:19:14 fuck. left at the village. I thought maybe this will end soon it'll accidentally just be like a black screen at the end of the film. Maybe this movie's only an hour. Nope. No, no. You get a full hour of them just hanging out in town. Yeah drinking and so Osmond sees, he's like kind of taken a liking to the witch played by that lady from Game of Thrones. Oh is it? She's the Red Witch. I know I recognized. Yeah, she just, she's literally playing the same character but without the wig. She's the blonde witch. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Um, Melisandre? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I dipped out on that. Because she's kind to him. Right. So she leads him to a ritual to watch where it looks like she's bringing Avril back to life. Right. But that's what we find out later is that's not really what happened. No, Avril was just drugged.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Yes. So he thinks that Avril has been brought back to life, and that upsets his God's sensibilities I think. Okay. Because when he goes to see her after she's been brought back to life, she seemingly doesn't have a soul. How do we know that? Because she's just flailing wildly and like can't communicate with him. Yeah, maybe she's just tired. Yeah, maybe give her a break. He has such an ugly cry too. When he's crying, I was like, please, pan away. Um, so they show up in the village, there's nobody there, and then there's a bunch people there, and there's hob. Which I loved hob. That guy seemed very familiar to. He's been in crime dramas too. Yeah, thank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. the. the. the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the. the. the. the. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. Yeah. Thank God for Britbox. It's so delightful. I've been watching the victim as per your recommendation and I'm very excited to finish it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man, that is a fucking gut, gut wrencher. Yeah. Love it. Yeah. What is the lead actress? I can't think of her name now. Kelly.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Kelly McDonald? Yes. I will watch fucking anything that she's in. She's f she's phenomenal. She's captivating. Yeah. Her episode of Black Mirror is incredible. I cannot watch that show. No. It's too stressful for me. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. I need like, I can't. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, they start interacting with the town. They have like a big feast for them. They give them them some knockout juice in their wine. they're not they not have. their their their their their their their their their they're not. their. their. their. they're they're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they they they're. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. though? Like are they that fucking stupid? Yep. Yeah. How are our heroes, the people who are marching into town to kill these innocents, that fucking stupid? I love the idea of these people aren't infected. Let's go into this town. As we find out later, spoiler alert, Sean Bean is definitely 100% infected. Yeah. And he was just like, oh, I'll just go into the town and see what's going on. I hope he was hugging each and every one of them and that was part of the plan. You know what I mean? I think, yeah, it's, oh my god. It's so silly. Um, so they give him the knockout juice and the guys all wake up and they're they're all they're all they're all they're all they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their. their. they're their their their their their their their their their their their th. I their their thi thi. I'll just their their their their their they're they're they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their. I I I I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll just just just just just just just th. I'll just just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tothat's mean that's a mean torture it is mean but truthfully I'm indifferent
Starting point is 00:22:27 oh you didn't like it when uh Eddie Redman's little jaw was vibrating because he was chilly I wrote down everybody's doing the LL Cooljay shiver I wish they were doing the little lip-licking Ellie so one of them rent they're yelling at them that they have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their. they they they they they their. their. they their. they they're their. their. they're their. they're their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. tre. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the were doing the lip-licking. Ellie? So one of them, they're yelling at them that they have to renounce God. Yeah, the villagers want them to renounce God. Why they care, I don't know. I don't, like why? Because they're gonna sacrifice them anyway.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Right, but why does it even have to be, like, So I think it's like in the Wickerman where it's all just for show so they want them to renounce the show that like Satan is more powerful and that's where they're getting their juice from to keep them safe. That's my my take on it. That's my hot take. No I think they're just like yeah was obviously, obviously, their their their God to show their their their their to their their their their their their their. their is. their is. their is. their is. their is, their is, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their is is their is their is their is their is their is their is their, the is that. that, their, their, their, ta. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their God, show them the way. More safety juice. Yes, exactly. So they refuse to do it. One guy gets crucified, basically? I can't remember what happens to him. The first guy.
Starting point is 00:23:33 The first guy, the guy who renounces, they just take him and kill. No, no, the first guy refuses to thi. the first guy refuses to thi. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho tho tho tho tho tho thu thu thi. thu thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. One to thu. One thu. One to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thu. thu. thooooooooooooo gets, I don't know, killed to something. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, then the handsome guy, quote, handsome. Oh, he gets nailed and gutted, doesn't he? His hot dogs fall on the outside. Then the handsome guy renouncences, because he's like, I don't care. Yeah. And then, John Lynch, do you know what was up? Why is he shirtless when everyone else has a shirt on? He's like, he's like, he's a good-looking man.
Starting point is 00:24:09 But with that wig on, he is absolutely unfuckable. Especially with, in the fall, he has like impeccable hair. Yes. He looks like, yeah, he's got like Ted Danson level good hair. Yes, he's also in a show called retribution where th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he's, he's a thi, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's like, he's a thi. He's a thi. He's a good, he's a good, thi. He's a good, the. He's a th. th. th. the the the the thi. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's a good, he's a in a show called Retribution where he's like the dad. Okay. And he has that impeccable hair. And it's, he's very stoic. Yeah. I like it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:29 He could get. Sometimes when he's not. Actually not in any movie or show I've ever seen. I know he's terrible to fall. Yeah. So the witch lets Osman out so that he can see something. see something I guess. I forget what it is. Oh he goes to see Averil. Yeah, she's brought Averil into this little hut that's next to their cage. And she's alive now. Yeah, and this is when he sees that she's soulless. No, I thought this is when he sees that she has the plague. the tell. Wait, didn't she have the plague? Avera? Yeah. Boyd, boy did I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. Boy, boy. Boy, boy. Boy, boy. Boy, boy. Boy, th. Boy, th. Boy, th. Boy, th. Boy, th. Boy, th. Boy, th. th. th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th. th. th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. No, it just hurts. Are you sure she didn't have bumpies?
Starting point is 00:25:05 Not that I remember. I'm looking it up on Wikipedia. When the witch goes to do the ceremony in the woods, like it's like the ladies that are standing around, Avil in their like muslin hoods, rub some ashes on her forehead. It's very weird. I was like, thi, why, why, why, why, why, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I tho, I tho why is she? Ashley, what's going on? Yeah, you just stabbed her. I was like, oh God, she was like not really dead, but now she has the plague, so he's just like putting her out of her misery.
Starting point is 00:25:35 And then later, that makes a lot more sense, because later when he finds out that she, you know, he just killed her. Right, she was just drugged and coming out of being drugged. Yeah. I was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that she like that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she was just that she was just that she was just that she was just that she was just that she was just that she was just that she was just that she that she that she that she was that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she th. She th. She was just th. She was just th. She was just th. She was thi, you thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that she that she that she that she that coming out of being drug. Yeah. I was like, well, she was going to die anyway. Heli's like, did it mercifully. Nope. Hey, guess what? That's pretty funny. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, yes, maybe she was going to die. I mean, everybody's gonna die.
Starting point is 00:25:57 It's 1348. They're dead. I do love that there's so much much this movie that can be solid with a posted note. Yeah, it's true. Just drugged, wait. Just hold on. So he gets real mad and he comes at the witch with a knife. Yeah. I feel like if you're going to come at the witch you best not miss, because he just like gives her a little scritch. And then that's it, perhaps. We have a new t- t- t-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. thi-s. thi-s just just just just thoomom! thoom! thoom! thoom. thoom. tho-a-a-s. tho-a-s. thi-a-s. tho-a-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-a-s just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thi-a-s-s-s-s like-skkkkkkkkk! thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s. the-s. it. We have a new t-shirt side. Our Jonasy sweatpants, I know this. It's gonna be such a good look.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Then we see Sean Bean's death. He gets drawn and quartered, which I put up with a firewalk as one of my favorite things to see in a movie. I feel like I don't see it nearly as often as I ought to. Oh, yeah, for sure. In this, in, in, in, in, in this, in this, in this, in this, in this, in th, in th, in th. In th, in th. In th. In th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, the. the. thea. We have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, the the their, their, their. Wea, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. th. their, th. th. the. to. to. to-a. to-a. to-a. toe. toe. toe. We have toe. We have toe. We have toe. We have toe. toe. Wea. toe. Wea. to. Oh, no, yeah, for sure. In this, in our run on this podcast, we've seen a lot of horse deaths, but I don't think we've yet seen a horse murdering a person. I think this is our first time. Yeah, second, because the first one killed Averil. I'm sure of it.
Starting point is 00:26:56 It wasn't in true. I mean, I didn't inspect the crime scene. I didn't rubbed her, I didn't rub the bloody rags on my face. It is nice to see horses murder a person though, because I feel like that leads, you know, that lends credence to my beliefs. It's people forcing horses to run away to murder people. If horses are so smart, why are they running away? I can't remember what movie it was. I just remember I was way too young, way too young to see this. There's some movie that takes place in Egypt and someone gets drawn and quartered, and like it fucking scarred me because it like it showed them being ripped in half. Oh! Not just arms coming off. I wonder what it was.
Starting point is 00:27:45 I don't remember, but like, I feel it was just something randomly on HBO. Yeah. Just like, fucked me. And ever since then I was like, ooh, these are exciting deaths. For Sean Bean, it just pulls his limbs off, which is okay. It's fine. But before he gets drawn and quarter, Eddie Redman, and comes, to come come cometo him, because I guess he could just run around and chat with people this one. I have a lot of problems with what is in is not allowed on this island because it really
Starting point is 00:28:10 comes back in in a few minutes. He runs over and he's like, open my cloak to them or my shirt and he's got bloody postules all in his armpits. What is he supposed to be proving to me? That he brought the plague to them. He's going to kill them all. Just why? He's such a dick. Because he is the most religious out of all. Like who am I rooting for? I, I, uh, Hob? Hob? I don't know. Hub literally says that he did this all because she was pretty. Like, all right. Why did you do this? She was pretty. She is pretty, though.
Starting point is 00:28:48 She was very pretty. I feel like that also happened in Game of Thrones. She showed somebody your boobs and they're like, oh, I'm on board. Yeah, there's a lot of time in this movie where enemies just let their enemies do whatever they want because like, we see that someone has dropped a knife near the water torture thing that they're all in. Jim from the fall grabs it, cuts his bonds, gets them out, opens the thing, cuts them out.
Starting point is 00:29:24 He's fighting with this guy and then he walks away to do something else. And the next thing you know Hob is getting put inside that machine. Why? Why did Hobb allow himself to be put in there? Got his ass whooped, I guess. It doesn't make any sense. Hobbs stops fighting him for like for him to like go say goodbye to his friend and then just just steps in and let's him put him in there. I also love that like they're using the cover of Sean Bean being drawn and quartered to sneak out of their bonds. Oh yeah right. Like a foot and a half away. It's so close. Yeah. I also like
Starting point is 00:29:59 when the witch says that the pestilence is a Christian disease. I know we have thanks Christian. That's pretty funny, yeah. Oh man. Maybe you thought she had to play because she was coughing a lot, Averil. Maybe. Yeah. Um, it doesn't matter. So yeah, uh... So, yeah, he goes into the woods and starts having this like conversation with the witch's disembodied voice,
Starting point is 00:30:23 which is so stupid. He's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the witch's disembodied voice, which is so stupid. He's just running around in a swamp getting yelled at by a witch. I just have a note that says, you're dumb Eddie Redmayne, go home. Because I was getting, like by the end of this movie, I was just so mad and ready for it to be over. Yeah, I was just, I mean, spoilers for the raining phase, but I did not enjoy a moment of this film. Oh no! No. Like, the attention to detail is just so poor.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Like when they get to the, the, it's an island in the middle of Marshes. Yeah. They're like, oh, we can't get the machine over there. How are we going to get it over there? Yeah, it's there. Yeah. It's the, it. It's the, it. It's the. It's the. It's th. Why. It's th. Why. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. toooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's. It's. It's. It's toeea. It's. toe. It's toe. to. I don't know but the townsfolk brought it over for him. Yeah it's there. Why? Like don't tell me you can't get it over there if you're gonna later show it over there. I think there's so much in this movie that's just set up for how dumb these people are. That's like how dumb the mercenaries are and they just keep putting themselves and like, I'm gonna bite your throat. There's the plague.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Oh, fuck. I'm gonna drink all your wine. We drugged it. Oh, I can't get the thing over there. There's a road, fuck. I get a post-it note. I also love that like, she runs off in the marsh. She's just turns and immediately and he immediately and he immediately and he immediately and he immediately and he loses and he loses and saunters off in the marsh and he immediately loses her.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Struts! So, Wolfstann and Osmond are the only two that survive. Oh no, I guess, yeah, no, they're the only two. Yeah, that's it. And they've got Hobb in the fucking splitter-rader in the back of their wagon. And when we get back to the monastery monastery monastery monastery monastery monastery monastery monastery the monastery, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the monastery, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, than, than, than, the, thi, than, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, the, the, the, the, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s And when we get back to the monastery, Wolfgang? Wolf Stan? Jim. Jim from the fall says, like, David Warner's like, who is that?
Starting point is 00:32:15 And he's like, oh, that's the necromancer. But he knows it isn't. Well, why does he lie to David Warner? Because he's got to take somebody back to his people and be like, I got your own necromancer. You can torture this guy? Because it's all a lie. What is? All of it?
Starting point is 00:32:33 So then we have the seemingly tacked on coda of this movie. Where they were like, is this not dumb enough? Let's dumb it down a little more. Eddie Redman leaves leaves leaves leaves leaves leaves leaves leavesto become... Sean Bean. To become Sean Bean the massaginist, where he just goes around the countryside, killing any woman he comes across because she might be the witch. But I can't tell if he's having a mental break or he's actually seeing them as that witch as Karese Van Houghten. I thought it it was supposed to be that he's having a a a a mental a mental a mental a mental the mental the mental to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental to be a mental break to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the witch, as Karese Van Houghton. I thought it was supposed to be
Starting point is 00:33:07 that he's having a mental break. Okay. Because the first woman we see, we just see her and she looks like the witch. And I was like, does she not recognize him? And then the next woman we see is like dark hair and a completely different body type, but then when he looks at her, she's the witch. Yeah. And he's grown like long flowing locks at this point. He has now a wavy bob.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Because there are several, like a heart to heart scenes in this movie between Sean Bean and Eddie Redmayne where it's like, Sean Bean is like giving him advice, but Sean Bean is the worst person to take advice from, I would say. That would be like if a guy theaeaeaea. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was, th. I was, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to toooo. to. today, thi. thi. th, I would say. That would be like if a guy just got fired from your job and you're like, hey man, how do I stay here? Exactly. That's exactly what it's like. And then at the end, you decide to be him and you get fired. Yeah, my last note is, oh great, he's a lady murderer. Yeah, credits are all.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Yeah, that's it. I mean, this movie is highly th Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB. I guess it's for somebody. Yeah, it's just I am not that person. Yeah, it's I think it's too much of an action movie for you. And it's also very stupid. It's not the right kind of action. Yeah. Because like a Fast and the Furious movie is also an action movie that's very stupid, but like I'm there for it. But point break is also a stupid action movie that you do not like. See, I need to maybe re-watch it because I just had an ex-boyfriend who loved it and he was very stupid, like very, very stupid. And he ruined it for me. I see. And so I've been taking that out on people in my life who love that movie and I realized I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I to to to to to to to to to to to I realize that and I need to be better. Oh okay maybe for the Patreon we'll do a... Johnny Utah though. Utah! Oh my God I wish I was dead already! I'd say that minimum once a week. Do you know? Give me two. It's your I don't see no hose Kenny. Exactly. So you want to uh Utah go to the rating space? Okay. What do you got for me? I mean Alan? I'm I to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Johnny, I, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I don, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, th. Johnny, to, to, uh, Utah, go to the ratings face!
Starting point is 00:35:06 Okay. What do you got for me? I mean, Alan, I got to say, I really did not like this movie. I thought it was, um, I thought it had a bevy of good actors and was still a garbage movie. I think it was probably written by someone for whom English was not their first language. It is a German production. Okay, I don't doubt that. I don't know who wrote it, but I'm going to say they don't speak English. I think it's meant to be like, all gods are bad gods.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Sure. All gods that would tell you to murder someone are probably not a good time. Yeah. And murdering in the name of God is bad. Sure, I get it. Right. But like, it's so unwatchable to me. So I'm going to go ahead and give it a three. Oh wow, generous. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and give it a two. I just don't want to get any letters about it. You're allowed to have your opinion.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I am. Two. Katie. Alan. Katie. Alan, it's your turn. This movie is mad dumb. Mad dumb. I feel a butt coming on. It's fine if you're not paying attention. What does that mean? It's like supernatural level, like, dumb watch where you don't have to be invested in anything. I'm gonna give this movie a six. No!
Starting point is 00:36:26 I can't believe you. It takes a lot of boxes for me. I like plague times. Sure. I like witches. I like the wicker man. I like shivering Eddie Redmayne. Do you, though?
Starting point is 00:36:44 You don't even like Eddie Redmayne. He's fine. Yeah, like it's just, I don't know, it's definitely silly. And I just kind of like embrace the silliness of this movie. Can I say what I think my big problem with it is? I think it's really silly, but I think a lot of people think it's really serious. No. Yeah. What did Rob think of this movie, if I might ask? I think he, the first time, because he didn't remember any of it when we watched it again.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I think he had told me at the time it was, quote, pretty bad. It's pretty bad, for sure. Yeah, yeah. But I also have a deep love for all those old like Italian sword and sorcery movies and all that stuff and like, or sword and sandal movies, I'm sorry. And I feel like it's of that like, oh we're just gonna have some random violence and like, and then I guess there's a witch or something, who knows? Anyway, Sean means a dick. That's, that's, that's a good review, I guess, of this movie. Black Death.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Well, you never have to watch it again? I, and you know what, Alan, I never will. You say that now. I'd say it now, I say it tomorrow, I say it every day for the rest of my life. I will never watch Black Death again. I hope I never have to too. Katie. Alan.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Speaking of reviews of movies, would you like to go to a little place? I'm like to call Mailbag! Yes, please. We got an email from a friend fan of the podcast that I got very excited about. Okay. Because their name is Will Sotomayor. Are we allowed to say that to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to to to to to be to to to be to be thia thia thia thi. I thi. I thi. I to thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to me. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toooo. I'm too. I'm too. I'm to too. I'm to to to to to to say that? I don't know. You should ask them! I'll beep it later. Okay. No one will be able to figure it out.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Let's just call him Will Eddyum. You're a monster. I think this is a comment on my accent. Okay. The... The... The... what do you call it when you're writing an email? Subject line and an email is, I'm a fucking idiot. Such a great watch, such a great way to watch horror movies, lull. I appreciate that. Yeah, horror. Haar. They say, so many movies in this genre that I will probably, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,. Har. They say, so many movies in this genre that I will probably never would have watched until listening to both of you reviewing them.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Your reviews of some of these movies just had me cracking up at work with my earbuds in, everyone wondering why I'm smiling like the chick from us. You shouldn't do that at your desk, my friend. You guys are amazing, and your podcast just makes working that 9 to 5 so much more enjoyable. Oh, thank you. He goes on to shout out marvelling at Marvel's Marvels, which is where he found this podcast? Who? Is that another podcast? Is that another podcast? He wants to shout out? You think I could take them in a fight? You say out of it? You think I th I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi that th at th at th at that that that that that that that that that that that that that's work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to that to thi thi that think I could take them in a fight? Which side do I come down on? You stay out of it. You think I could take them in a fight too? Definitely. Yeah. Since that's how I found out about this gem of a podcast. Thank you, we are a gem and so are you. Now the next thing I don't quite understand, he says John and Joseph, oh, that's what it is. Who? Not pH? Not pH. Those guys thi I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th th th. thi th. th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th with an F, not with the pH. Those guys are great as well, but the chemistry between you and Katie is just palpable.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Also Tom Saviti's season, hiray for that, lull. Thank you. Oh, thank you. That's so nice of you. And also, I agree that we're better than Marveling and my podcast I have never listened to and should be more supportive of because my friend Alan works on it. I think I was confused by the pH because he was talking about chemistry and you're like do you mean like page balance? Oh yeah I'm very acidic. You're more basic. You're a basic bitch. I'm basic. So yeah that was a that was our email that we got
Starting point is 00:40:42 while we were sitting here recording. I like that. I also want to shout out the person who gave us an iTunes review with the subject line and their hair was perfect because I had to explain it to Alan that it's a werewolves of London joke. Listen, we both have very nice hair. I feel good about mine for the first time in a while. Your hair is beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. It's super fluffy right now because he doesn't have any product in it and it looks really nice It's very youthful
Starting point is 00:41:08 I'm spry Fresh from the Gym. We got a new review too while we were sitting here. I do believe. Did we? This is from Jesse Star. It's a five star review. It says a treat for my ears. Oh, Katie and Alan hate a lot of movies. I love. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. hate a lot of movies I love. Sorry. Given. And I don't even mind. Thank you. That is the right attitude. Exactly. Thank you. They're so fun to listen to and you can tell their great friends. Up top. Slam Doug. Bonus I love hearing about Savini. God, these people want to see some Tom Savini. Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for taking the time to review us, to write us emails. Also, I also want to shout out the listener who sent us the picture of him and his three-year-old daughter both wearing the wailfamulance shirt because it literally brought me to tears at my desk. I was having a bad day. I was having a bad day. I opened, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi th. I that that that that toda toda toda their today today today today today tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tod, today. today. today today today today ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. today today today that you have to do this podcast with a ghost now? Because I died when I saw them from just sheer joy. Very good. Oh, they're both, it's a little child wearing a werewolf ambulance t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Like, that's like beautifully corrupting the youth. I'm really into it. I did say, please don't let her ever listen. Daddy, what does dick whistle mean? Why does that old man keep saying it? No one knows? No one? No one? No one? No one knows. Nobody knows. He doesn't even know. Katie. Alan. What are we doing next week? It's your birthday. It is. Go, go, go, go, shorty.
Starting point is 00:42:31 It's your birthday. Oh, gonna party like it's your birthday. Gonna sit a party like it's your birthday. You know, we don't give up a fuck. It's not your birthday. find me in the club. Do you wish you had invested your first million in smart water? No. I do, that's how 50 cent made all of his money. 50 cent is broke. Oh is he broke? Yes. For a while he was super rich because he'd been well goodbye because no one's drinking smart water anymore. I am 90% sure that 50 cent is broke. Allow me to Google. Please. Let me just ask Google if that's okay. Yeah, the one behind you's gonna react. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. the th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to find to to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find. to find to find. to find to find. to find to find to find. the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the. the the. the the. 50 cent to to to to to to to, the one behind you is going to react. Is 50 cent broke?
Starting point is 00:43:07 On July 13th, 2015, Jackson filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in the U.S. bankruptcy court for the District of Connecticut with a debt of $32,500,9,000. F. $0.91 cents. Whoa! I'm glad you didn't invest your first millions per water. I wish I had a first million to invest. I just remember there was this great story about how he invested money in smart water when it was breaking.
Starting point is 00:43:37 Wow. And that was why there was the 50-50 smart water. It was his blank. And he made a ton of money off it, but obviously not enough for long enough. Obviously spending a little more than he made. Yeah, we're going to talk about Ghost and Mr. Chicken. It's Alan's birthday. Alan is turning 46.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Yeah, thank you. You're welcome. What do you want to do for your birthday? Uh, watch Ghost and Mr. Chicken? Dece. I have a feeling I might have to lend you the DVD because I know how available it is. We'll figure it out. It's a classic. It's got to be out there. Yeah. My friend Christina was like, I love that movie. And I was like, I've never seen it. She was like, are you kidding? And I was like, what is it with you people? I feel like this is definitely one that's going to break one of two ways. And I'm hoping that my joy in talking about this movie, no matter how it breaks, will
Starting point is 00:44:31 bring you some joy as well. It's going to be the can't hardly wait effect, you know? Yeah. Yeah. When you see something that's really important to someone who's very important to you, it's osmosis. Oh man, so thank you for doing this. I'm very excited. Absolutely. And so yeah, come back for that, watch that movie. It's a true classic, according to Christina. I don't know that she said those words.
Starting point is 00:44:54 I think you put those into her mouth. America's Funniest comedian, Don Notts. She did not say that either, but okay. And that will wrap up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up that that that will that will that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to too. to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to too. to to to. to to to to to too. too. too. to too. to to our month of March, the month of pastoral horror, because folk is too hard for me to say. Say it. Solstice. Folk. Folk.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Folk. Folk. Go into your folk's house? It's folk music. Folk music. Folk's wrong. Foke's fine. You go, you've folk wrong? No, folk's fine. I feel like I'm just... You got so Pittsburgh when you said that. You're mocking me. I feel like I got very
Starting point is 00:45:29 Delaware. I just went home. I got fake. Fak's fine. Foak. Anyway, we're gonna do something else in April. Possibly pandering. So we'll let you know. Watch out Finland. How you doing? You're so tall and good looking. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. thiolk. thi. thi. You. You. You. You. You're th. You're th. You're th. th. You're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' th. You're for you. Yeah. Hey Finland. How you doing? You're so tall and good looking. It's true. Yeah. It's very true. I'm going to talk about so much Finnish metal. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Yeah, find us on the internet. Go buy T-shirts. Or whatever you want, stickers, magnets, kuzzi's, whatever. It can be yours. Yeah, for money. At T Public.com, back slash user, back slash, weref ambulance. Mm-hmm. If you would like to, no, not if you would like to, I would like you to write us a review,
Starting point is 00:46:15 and leave us a rating on, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen to podcasts. Yeah, five stars, if you got them. And if thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thoos. thoos. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And you do, they're free. And if not, go about your day, it's fine. I mean, I guess. And thank you to all of you who do it and have done it. I just super appreciate it. Y'all are the best. You really are. Oh, we never told them who did our music? No, you didn't send me an email for the one week that it started, you just never emailed me about the episode and so late that night I was like, I need to do this. It's probably sitting in my dress right now. Probably. Yeah, I'm the fucking idiot. I'm sorry. I should, I will go, if you send it to me, I will go back and update. Awesome. Yeah. Okay, I do it. I mean, tell them now. I mean, tell them now. Toxi. the the the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the person. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. I. th. I. th. I. I th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. I. th. that. Is there a way that people can find their work? That I don't know. I will find out from them, and we'll put links to stuff.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Great. And also, a couple weeks back, we put a song at the end of the podcast, which was from Andy B, where he spliced us saying some very nonsensical things over a beat. That was really funny. I was like, boy, I'm fucking annoying. No way, dude, you're hilarious. Fucking on the boat is weird. Somebody else where they can get that song. Did you send it to him? No.
Starting point is 00:47:29 Send them that MP3. They deserve it. I figure we should just add it to our YouTube channel with the bouncing. I will do just that. We have to send me the MP3 and I will do it. All. And thanks for listening to another episode of wherewith ambulance. Bye. Bye.

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