Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 274- The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)
Episode Date: March 30, 2020In this week's episode, we're celebrating the birthday of one of your best friends and mine- Allen. Since we can't talk about "The Thing" without having to end the show (it has been prophesied), he pi...cked the next best thing for him: the 1966 Don Knotts film "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken." Special topics for your consideration include: numerology and the angels, Morgantown tourism tips, a newfound appreciation for spooky ragtime music, when a naive film sounds actually very dirty, Bon Ami and a lot of Scooby Doo talk. Do you enjoy films of the 1960s? Check out Episode 42- "Spider Baby," Episode 45- "Rosemary's Baby," Episode 91- "The Last Man on Earth" and Episode 123- "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" Hey, you may have noticed our new theme music! Super special thanks to Aaron "Toxic" Mortimer for making it for us-- if you enjoy that, you can find his SoundCloud at https://soundcloud.com/toxic_dsm or contact him on Facebook (ToxicDSM) or Instagram (toxic_dsm). And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at werewolfambulance@gmail.com and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alan? Yes, Katie. Do you know the meaning of the number 46?
The meaning of the number? I do not know the meaning of the number 46.
The meaning of the number? I do not know the meaning of the number 46.
Well, I googled 46 meaning just to see if there was anything very cool about it and the first search result was
angel number 46 is a reminder from the angels that they will provide you with
the support and encouragement required for attaining your objectives in
life. You are advised by the angels to follow your goals with all the
diligence, devotion and willpower available to you. So with that I'd like to say to you my friend, happy 46 birthday. Thank you. You're the angel in my life.
Kitty, I want to make sure that you are able to achieve your dreams. Yeah, you're just
making sure that I put my willpower towards it.
Number 46!
Happy birthday.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
I made it.
No one thought I'd be here, but here I am.
I assumed you'd be here.
We put it on the calendar for today.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
And happy my birthday. Thank you. It is one of my most favorite days of the year. What should we do for your birthday?
Well, we should probably talk about one of America's greatest comedy legends.
Uh-huh.
Born as Jesse Donald Knott's?
Uh-huh.
You might know him as Don Knotts.
I do know him as Don Knotts.
Morgantown, West Virginia's own.
It's his birthday is July 21st, 1924. I presume
you've been to his statue seeing as how it's about like an hour and a half
south of here. Well, you would presume wrong. I have not yet been there because
there's nothing else for me to do in Morgantown. My God, are you serious?
There's a good burrito place. Yeah, it's a nice park. They have a monorail in Morgantown. Did you know that?
Come for the monorail, stay for the statue of Don Knotz. And like get a burrito while you're there.
Big Bear, Black Bear, something like that. It's good.
Once, uh, once the world has returned to itself, I will trek out and see it, I'm sure. Yeah, you should. It'll be a nice little pilgrimage for you. I think so. In the meantime you can just
keep watching the ghost and Mr. Chicken. Oh you know I'm going to. It's a 10 ratings face let's just
do it right off the... Oh I know it is. You know this is your can't hardly wait where it's like, oh, this explains a lot about Alan.
That's what I was hoping. I was hoping that you would have a better understanding of me.
I do. I do. I feel like your life is maybe just one giant Scooby-Doo episode.
Oh, a hundred percent. What this movie is. It's always an old man trying to thwart me. Yeah. And I'm always trying to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to date to to to to to that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that the the the the the the the the the that the that thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that to thwart me. Yeah. I'm always trying to date someone who's 25
years my junior. You need to stop that. I don't think a 21 year old is
appropriate for you right now in your life. Well I don't think a 26 year old was appropriate for Don Knotts either. Was she 26? She's a baby. Well he was 42. Yeah. He was a 42?
Yeah. He looks like shit. Don Knotts. He carry yourself. Wow, he looks older than that, I feel. Sure.
I think that's just that thing of like in olden times like the 60s men looked older than they were like
That's probably true.
I feel like they had more responsibility younger or something and it aged them.
It's and like he was like a vaudeville, he was a ventriloquist on the vaudeville like circuit
or whatever that would be and uh which is funny because he kind of looks like a ventriloquist, ventriloquist, on the vaudeville circuit or whatever that would be.
And which is funny because he kind of looks like a ventriloquist dummy.
He really does.
And, but I think like, and he had a very hard upbringing with like a really awful terrifying father
and stuff, so like, oh no.
I think it aged him pretty quick.
Oh, jeez. Yeah. Well, in this movie, I can't figure out if Alma actually enjoys his company or is just a social
climber.
What are your thoughts?
The lowest stakes gold digger.
I mean, it's pretty big news there in the town of Rachel Kansas.
So you tell me what you think?
No, I think she is wooed by his charms
and his bumbling befuddery.
Huh, okay.
And his inability to make small talk.
Yeah, that makes me uncomfortable.
Then he has done his job.
That's what he was shooting for.
Yeah, for sure.
All right, you want to set up this movie? So this is the story of Luther Hags, played by Don Nuts, who is an aspiring newsman,
who works as a typesetter at the local newspaper, who is unbelievably high-strung.
Like, like if...
His heart must beat like a hummingbird.
He happens upon a story about this murder house in town, the, what is it, the Simmons place.
Simmons place, yeah.
He's kind of roped into spending the night there and from there all kinds of heck breaks loose.
In the most contained and least breaking loose
format ever. It is um yeah it is something Rob was like you think they're
gonna be boobs in this movie and I was like what are you talking about?
Well that's interesting that you bring that up the woman who played Alma Parker
Joan Staley was a Playboy bunny in 1958. Oh really?
Wait, what year was this movie?
66.
Wow, so she did that as a baby?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Or, or she was just 17 and it was 1958.
Sure.
1958 the rules are different.
Doesn't mean I have to like it.
There's a fun weird fact about this is that is not her hair.
That is a wig she's wearing.
Oh, it's beautiful.
I know, it's one of the best wigs we've ever had on the podcast.
For sure. And it's here with me right now. You got the wig as a guest?
Yeah, hold on. I thought it was going to be...
Is that a wig sound? I just shook the microphone like a wig wood.
Like the wig would ticket. Yeah. They made her wear a brown wig because as a blonde she was too hot.
Oh, wow. It really uglied her up, I'm sure.
Please.
Oh my God.
She's insanely gorgeous, which makes her pairing with Don Knot's even more ridiculous.
Yeah.
Oh boy.
So this opens on that universal font that they used for everything that was a lightly spooky. Yeah. It's not quite chiller, but it's a little pointy. th. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. th. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. th. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. th. Please. Please. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. they they the. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi. they they they th opens on that universal font that they used for everything that was a lightly spooky.
It's not quite chiller, but it's a little pointy.
And the score is by Vic Mizzi, who did the Adams Family and one of my favorite television
scores, green acres.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
It is a genius.
Yes, and the score for this movie is basically the Adams family. Yeah, with a little bit of Green Acres throw it in.
Yeah, it's kind of a mashup.
It's a girl talk, if you will.
Again, the most low-rent girl talk you can get in.
I'm doing an all Vic Mizzi record.
It's gonna be dope. So yeah, we open up on the fun spookish font and a Luther Heg driving
into town to see what he assumes is a murder. Right. It's a man who's been a
drunk man has been hit on the head with by a two by four and is now unconscious.
And a woman is outside just screaming bang right on the head bang right on the head like a like a parrot
it's I love what he spins his Edsel around and comes back and the woman
every time he tries to start doing something she just yells bang right on
the head and it makes it more more frazzled and all of his lines are basically done at maybe like an eight out of eight out of the te-on-on th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Bang the the the the the the the the head, like the the head, bang right the head, bang right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right...... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the and it makes it more and more frazzled. And all of his lines are basically done at maybe like an eight out of eight and
a half out of ten on a volume scale.
So the entire opening scene of this movie is just two people literally shouting
in each other's faces.
I love when he goes to the police station to report the murder.
Oh, I should also state just for all you youngsters out there. This was, he was fresh off of of the the the the the the the the the the the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year the year th. th. th. th all you youngsters out there, this was, he was fresh off of
the Andy Griffith show.
He had quit the year before and started this film career.
And a lot of the people who are extras, or not, are like bit players on their players on,
on Andy Griffith.
And other, and like, bewitched and other shows of that era. So it had like, like, at one point, like the highest percentage of like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the So it had like the like at one point like the highest percentage of like
like bit TV players in any movie. Oh that's an interesting factoid.
Yeah, it's just like so like if you grew up watching TV like I did you're like oh that's the drunk
from Andy Griffith who gets knocked on the head and you, you know, like all these people just keep showing up.
Yeah, and even not.
But when he runs in the police station and they're telling him to calm down, and he just screams,
calm?
Calm, calm, and murder, calm.
And he's like, do murder and calm do murder go together? In that scene I that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. the the scene I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, thi thi. that that that, that, that, that, tho the the the th. But the the they they they. But th. But they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. But th. But th. But thi. But thi. But thi. And thi. And thi. And the. And the. And the. And the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the. the. that was because that's very that's like the
second scene of the movie I was like Alan thinks this man's a comedic genius and
I'm just gonna let this this roller coaster take me I'm just gonna try to
keep an open mind and see where see where we go. So while I was watching this
movie Missy was sitting next to me fucking around her phone as she she should be because I've thi th. because because because th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. thi thi thi they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm this this this m. I'm this moom-I this mc-I this mc-I this mc-I this m. I'm this m. I'm this m. I'm this m. I's is this m. I's is this m. I's is this m. I's is this m. I's is this m. I's is this m. I's is this m. I'm this m. I'm thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm just just just just just just thi. I'm just just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just th this movie a hundred times. And I'm just like giggling and nudging her the whole time this movie's going on.
Did you catch that? Do you get that? Do you get that?
She's like, no, I'm not watching and I don't care. There's some very 60s lines that come in right off the bat in that second scene where he just yells like, why don't you run up an alley and holler fish?
And it's like, but why would you? Like what does that mean? Have you heard that?
Have you heard that phrase in any other context? No, but when I was reading about
this on IMDB, apparently Gomer Pyle says that to him in an episode of Andy Griffith? Oh my god. Oh you love it, oh you love
it so much. It's just this idiotic television oral boarist that's just eating its own
tale of bullshit that nobody cares about and I'm so here for it. And then in the middle of
it is Dick Sergeant being like, Dick Sergeant, it's me. Was he the first or second, Darren? Oh, oh, I think he's the
first Darren. I think he is too, because I think he gets replaced by a more
handsome guy. Oh no, the other guy's not as, is less handsome than he is, I think. Is he? Okay, let's get into our dicks real quick. Let me just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I dicks really, really, really quick. Oh no, he's the second one. Dick York. Dick York was the first one. Yeah,
who is less handsome than he is. In my humble opinion. I mean, you can decide that for yourself.
They look enough alike that they expected the TV not to care. Just like in Major League one and two when they replace Wesley Snipes and expect nobody the the to the to to the the to the the to their th. Wi th. Wi th. Wi th. Wi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi is thi is thi thi is thi. thi. thi. thiol-york is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. th. D. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toee. toe. toe. toe. toe.I. thi. thi. thi. th Omar Epps and expect nobody to notice. Well, white people. Watching a sequel
about baseball, yeah you're right. I didn't realize he was also Willie May's
Hayes. I don't know which he, you mean you've not seen the second one? Yeah, if I did, it was a
hundred years ago. Yeah. I prefer it, but that's okay.
You love a sequel.
I do.
There's something that's just so cheeky about them.
Anyway.
They're so irreverent.
Did you expect Calver Weems to walk into the police station?
The drunk who would hit on the head. Okay. Obviously. Did it shock you? This time yes. I love that his wife brings him in
and she's like, can you just put him in a tank? Yeah, just like give me one night of peace. Oh man. And then everybody in the police station is laughing at poor Luther
Higgs. In the 60s people laughed right in your face. They don't do that now. Oh yeah.
Now we laugh behind the backs. We just go to Twitter and laughing people. Yeah.
It's a much different thing just the town actually laughing in your face. Yeah.
Have you ever heard the town actually laughing in your face. Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you ever heard the last name Weems before?
Borgas Weems.
Yes, I only know it from this and an episode of a night gallery.
I've never heard anyone else having the last name Weems.
I only know that because it's your Instagram handle.
I've never actually heard it outside of that. Oh you haven't watched a lot of night gallery? No, you know, it's
just not in my, has not hit my, has not come across my desk yet. Well when you
get to be my age, Katie. I know, 46. You know for a brief period of time you
were only nine years older than me. I'm glad the world is back in equilibrium. Yeah. Did you
like when he was outside and the like town semi-drunks follow him outside
and they're harassing him and he starts doing karate hands? I do really like
karate a lot, both good and bad karate, so I like how much importance it's given in
this film, which is to say a lot.
So this was also a is to say a lot.
So this was also a running theme in his career
that his body was a lethal weapon?
Oh, that's funny.
I like that a lot.
I appreciate that very much.
Because the man is 90 pounds soaking wet in his suit.
Yeah. He's a tiny dude. Which makes him look all the funnier next to Dick Sargent, who's like 6-4 or something.
Ollie Weaver as well.
Who's that guy?
What's that?
He's been in a ton of like TV shows and stuff from that era.
I don't, he doesn't stick out as anything in particular to me.
Okay.
Yeah, he's just been in a bunch of stuff.
His name is Skip Homier.
No, it's not. That's made up.
Which is like having like a real basic first name and then this super fancy last name.
Yeah.
Uh, Skip Homier. Wow.
He went by Skippy early in his career as a child. Of course he did. Skippy Homier. Wow. He went by Skippy early in his career as a child. Of course he did.
Skippy Homier. Wow. Oh God. So then we get to Luther's boarding house where he lives.
And he's being like hassled by the older ladies that live there.
One of whom says like a person is never dead until their pulses stopped Luther,
like says this woman who is most definitely a doctor,
to this other woman who is like also most definitely a doctor.
I love nagging old ladies as a conceit.
I'm a huge fan.
I'm deeply looking forward to my Sophia days, you know what I mean?
I fear that I'm going to be more rose in my older years. Yeah, I can see that.
Question, why doesn't Ollie get his own place, this hotshot reporter? Why does he live in the boarding house?
To send home that he's single and he hasn't settled down yet? Oh, men couldn't live by themselves? They weren't allowed to get apartments back then? I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I thi. I mean? I mean? I mean. I mean? I mean. I mean. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I I th. I I I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi the the the the theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat the theat the the the the send home that he's single and he hasn't settled down yet.
Oh, men couldn't live by themselves, they weren't allowed to get apartments back then.
Oh, sure they could, but just to send home that that's the case.
Like, I see.
You're either an egg-steel and old man or you haven't settled down yet.
Gotcha. God, I love the egg-stee old man. He looks straight up like a vulture,
and he's just snatching eggs off of people's plates.
I, oh, I didn't even notice that.
I thought egg-stealing old man was like a reference
to something I didn't get and I was just letting it go.
That man was stealing eggs off-boiled eggs?
Yeah. What? He was a thiiii. That's funny though. That's something I would do. I'm a 30-6-year-old.
Who doesn't love a soft-boiled egg?
Who doesn't love an egg?
This is where we're introduced to Alma, who comes to pick up Ollie.
She has a dope car.
Yeah, and she got that nice print from Belsons.
There's a lot of talk about prints in the scene.
Prince, huh? Who knew? Yeah, people make in their own dresses. It's like a very silly episode of Project Runway where they just keep saying Prince over
and over and over.
You're like, yes, I know.
That is the theme of this week's episode.
I want to take anyone from Project Runway and just drop them into this movie and see what
happens.
This movie could have done with some Tim Gunn, honestly. Oh yeah, yeah, make it work, Luther.
I don't know where we meet the character Eileen, who is like a, just a walk-on, you know?
Huh.
Huh, I mean.
It's like, I think it might be at the police station.
She like walks into a scene and someone says, here, Eileen, take these. She's not the bank lady who the bank manager really likes her sweater.
Of all of her sweaters, this is his favorite sweater.
Oh, maybe it is.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Anyway, when she walks into the scene, Rob just screamed, damn!
And that's when I learned that my husband likes torpedo bras.
Oh, that's definitely the bank lady. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, honestly, they look flattering.
Uncomfortable, but very flattering.
I assume they have like an underwire, an upper wire, a side wire.
I don't know.
I don't know.
They look great, but I just can't see how wearing them's ever going to work.
Hey, she held damn.
Damn, Ileen if I'm not mistaken.
Holy shit I love that so much.
Yeah. Feels good man.
Feels good man. I love when Don Knot sneaks outside to talk to Alma, and he's talking to her about her
print, of course, because he's terrible at Smalltalk.
And he starts to talk about the other, the like nieces print who has flowers across
her booze.
I can't say bosom.
Yeah.
Well, I said to Rob, I bet that's the closest you're going to get to boobs in this movie. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the next the, in the, in the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, the, to the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. I's, I's, I'll, I'll, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, I's, I's, to, to, to, I's, I's, I's, I I I's, I I I I's, to to to to to to to the, the, the, the. the. the. thee thee the thean thean thean thea. thea. thea. thea. thoooooo. to to to to said to Rob, I bet that's the closest you're gonna get to Boob's in this movie.
And then in the next scene, he spells B-O-O-B-B-Boob.
And I was like, oh no, that's the closest, that's it.
I'm Mr. Boob.
I'm Mr. Boob.
B-Dobb! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh my god. There's so much in this movie that in retrospect seems like double entendre
that I don't think they meant. Oh no I think this is a very clean movie. Yeah. Intentionally,
I don't think there's anything untoward happening here. Now we're off to the newspaper
where he's working as a typesetter and they need a story
to fill in some space, seemingly six lines from when you see the story later.
Yeah, I don't know how everybody got so excited about it, but the way Mr. Kelsey tells
it is very exciting.
Yeah.
It's a good story with like the pipe organ and the throat stabbing and it's a good story. It is. It is. And it. And it. And it. And it is like, and it is like, and it is like, and it is like, and it is like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th, like, like, like, like, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to, to. to. It is. And it is like,
this movie is completely a,
you nailed it with Scooby-Doo.
Yeah.
Like it is 100% the template for a Scooby-Doo.
As you may or may not know,
Don Knotts appeared in a Scooby-Doo episode.
I did not know that.
Of course I did not know that. What did he do in the Scooby-Doo episode? It helped him solve a crime. As Don Knotts or as a character?
As Don Nuts.
There was this period in the 70s
where they would have like guest appearances on Scooby-Doo.
And they would have like Batman and Robin would show up.
No! Are you serious? I didn't know that.
But then like Jerry Reed would show up and Dick Van Dyke would be in an end of it.
It's like Joan Rivers like what fucking seven-year-old is watching this?
I'm like, hell yeah Jerry Reed's there?
Yeah, I don't know who Jerry Reed is.
Oh, you've never seen Convoy?
Mm-mm. Smoking the Bandit?
No. Have you heard the song East Bound Down? Marlbomb, boom, boom, bon.
The theme to the TV show East Bound and down?
No and have not seen it.
This is all about, this is really more about me.
I don't know what anything is, as it turns out.
Jerry Reed hit it big in the 70s, singing like Mile Counta.
the bandit and things of that ilk.
No.
Mm-hmm.
Not a big Bert Reynolds head?
Uh, no.
Okay.
Well, next birthday we'll hurt some Bert Reynolds then.
Hey, Alan?
Yeah.
Happy birthday.
Thank you, Katie.
I can't thank you enough for doing this movie.
Oh, no. I mean, honestly, it's a true th th th th th th thue thue thue this movie. Oh no, I mean honestly it's a true pleasure. I
found Mr. Kelsey to be very funny. Oh he's great. I love this era of film that
had to have an Irishman in it. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm surprised he wasn't a cop to be
fair. It's true. I also like how when Don Knotz is walking up to the scary house, a cat just charges him
in the street.
I was like, oh, I hate that.
I hate getting charged by a cat in the street.
Getting punked. Yeah.
And then he just casually runs away from the owner of the house.
He's like, oh, I was just looking and then literally like runs down the block with his
arms behind his back like in the ultimate nerdy guy run.
I love that someone would just roll up to you on the street and go, what are you doing
in front of my house?
Yeah, really?
If I did that every time someone was in front of my house, there would be no cigarette
butts flicked on the street in front of my house, probably. Yeah, yeah. It's actually probably
a thing I should do. I love when he asks Simmons what he's asking for the house. Yeah, right.
Oh, what are you asking for it? And then he's like, I'll just have to build if you're going to knock
it down. So yeah, Nick Simmons is a a the the the thininininininininin, I I I I I I I I I I I's like, I'll just have to build if you're going to knock it down.
So yeah, Nick Simmons is the heir to the Simmons home.
This murder happened like 25 years ago and he's just settling the estate now,
though we're not really told why.
Or 20 years ago. He was out making his fortune, I think.
You know it's a good way to get money probating in a state of which you are the heir? Just a tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi he he thi he he he he he he he tho- hea heat heat heat hea thi thi hea. he's he's he's tho- tho- tho- he's tho- he's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to hee thi hee hee he he he it's a good way to get money probating in a state of which you are the air? Just a thought. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what he was doing. It's dumb. It's
like they were like, we need to have, it be like a long-time anniversary of the murders,
and we also need like a pressing urgency to it. How do we get both?
I'll have my bulldozers in your tomorrow.
What?
Yeah, his, the story, the six lines of filler that he puts in the paper are a big hit in the
town and everyone's like talking to him on the street and Alma invites him to lunch. Yeah, this is why I think she's a social climber.
Because she seemed very happy with Ollie before this.
He's got perfect hair, why wouldn't you be?
But you know what? He's the kind of guy who like says something super offensive and then is like,
but don't get all bent out of shape about it, you know? 100% is. You're like, oh you're the one the one the one the one th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi'sa, wha, you're the one taking a fence, you're making it weird.
I hate that guy.
Ollie sucks.
Ollie is like a Reddit as a person in the 1960s.
Fuck.
He should have called someone a snowflake.
I have the note, he makes eating soup hilarious.
I have the note, soup is always a good comedic move, so I think that we're in agreement there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think soup is always funny.
There's a lot of good jokes about soup.
I can think of like three of my favorite movies that using soup as a punchline.
Go. Okay, clue when they're all sitting around the table slurping soup.
Best in show when she talks about how they both love soup.
Okay, okay.
And, uh...
Ghost, ghost, Mr. Chicken.
Go to Mr. Chicken.
Yep, there it is.
Three soup punchlines.
Soup is funny.
Soup is comedy.
You heard it here first.
Oh man.
You know what I really want to do sometime in my life though?
What's that?
It's like storm out of a business and say, put it on my tab.
And I'll probably never get to do that, you know?
It's true. I'll just like tap my cell phone on the way out. I do love that he
does that and the woman's like you don't have a tap. Yeah and then he fumbles
around with his wallet because you know he's not going to leave without paying
for that soup. No way dude. Hopefully he bought himtrying to let her know that he's feeling her.
Yeah, that's how you let a woman know you're feeling her.
I bought that chicken salad for you.
Okay, so you're right, the news story picks up, and then the editor of the paper offers him a chance to be a reporter. Yeah.
All he has to do.
Spend the night in the Simmons place.
Yeah.
Like somebody owns that and the newspaper editor's like, no, you break in.
Uh-huh.
And then later when things go bad, he's like, you did this.
Oh yeah, he is willing to throw him under the bus at the drop of a hat.
He does stick up for him at the one point where he's like, you promise me it's true, and
he's like, yeah, it's true.
And he's like, okay with it, I'm not going to retract it.
But then he's like, he's like, well, you know, you should have done better. You had him break into a hoag Oh man, and what a house.
Before we get to the house, I do want to mention the reoccurring gag of the blood on the keys
and they couldn't get it off even with Bonami.
Is that funny? That one didn't really do it for me.
I love it because A, I use Bonami to clean stuff.
You still do?
Yeah, because of this movie.
It's just a-
I've never seen it.
It doesn't sound right.
It's a powdered cleanser.
It's good for like cleaning sinks and soaps gum and stuff.
Sure. You can't get blood off keys with it though.
Oh boy. A fun little fact to it about that is Don Knotts personally called Bonami and was like,
hey, we'd like to use your product name in this movie.
Is that cool?
And they said yes.
Oh, cute.
I feel like this is such a movie of its time.
And did not give a fuck about people 50 years in the future who will
be watching this movie?
No, it is just, it is much like Can't Hardly Wait, it is a perfect encapsulation of a particular
time, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything from the way it looks to the way people are behaving to just the brand of comedy.
It's just very, very, very 1960s.
It is, there's something that I've noticed in more recent viewings of this movie that I really
appreciate about this is that it's 1966, it's Rachel Kansas, but in every crowd shot
and every time there's like in a restaurant or something, there are always African-American people in the crowds. Oh. And like in the background the background, the background, the background, the background, the background, the background, the background, the background, the background, the back, the back, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, there's something, there's something, there's something, their something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's something, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their something, their something, their something, their something, their something, their something, their something, their something, their something, their's something, their something, their something, their's something, their something, their's something, their's something,there are always African-American people in the crowds. Oh and like in the background like
and for some reason that like really sticks out for me in like a movie that's
not set in New York City in the 60s you know what I mean? Like I know it was
shot in California and like right sure but the fact that they like didn't
like kind of whitewash all of that was really nice. They were They thiiiii th like like like like like they were envisioninging they were envisioning they were they were th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like I th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. Like, I th. that they didn't like kind of whitewash all of that was really nice.
They were envisioning a more progressive Midwest.
Exactly.
That's pretty dope considering what was really going on in the mid-60s for.
For sure.
And American people who just wanted to also be in diners, you know.
So that makes me think that Don Notz was real cool and he made it happen. Oh, I believe that. It seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems. It seems. It seems. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I. I. I. I that. I. I. I that. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's the th. I's the th. the th. th. th. the th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. I th. I like a good guy. Can I tell you another thing I like about this that is not as culturally important as African Americans?
What's that?
Spooky ragtime.
Sure.
I like it a lot.
I'm going to start listening to Spooky ragtime, I think.
Katie, do you think that I have a CDs that I can send you?
A spooky ragtime music? I have to figure to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho? thiole thi thi thi thi tho? thoe thoe tho tho thi thi thi thi thu thu c. thu c. thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu that that that that that is not that that is not that is not that that is not that that is not that's that is not that's that is not that that's not as c. thia thioliole thi have CDs that I can send you? A spooky ragtime music?
Um, I have to figure out how to listen to a CD?
Oh, my car, my car is a CD player.
Oh, no, my car is a CD player.
I don't know what I'm thinking.
I drive a 2011 Toyota Carolla, of course it has a CD player.
Yes, I'm going to drive around listening to ragtime spookies. Do you have do you actually own that? I do. I have Halloween jazz albums. Can you burn me a copy?
I can say to the MP3s. I have them on my phone I think. No, now I want to listen to them on the CD.
Yes, I can because I still have a computer that has a CD. Good. Do you have remember being like, holy fuck I just made a CD? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, th. th. Can, th. Can, th. Can, th. Can, th. Can, thi, thi, thi, th. Can, th. Can, th. Can, th. Can, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thr-I. thr-I. thrown, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. CD was like the most amazing thing you could do?
Do you remember being like, holy fuck, I just made a CD?
I do.
I remember a couple years ago I got, like, I was like, I'm gonna make CDs for people.
I made a bunch of people a compact discs, mixes and gave them all.
Yeah. In like my college years, my high, it's interesting because I lived, it's interesting, It's so th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, the, I, th... If, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, I'm, I'm, the, the, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like years, my high, it's interesting because I lived, it's interesting, it's so fascinating.
I lived through the transition of cassette to CDs in my like young and dating years.
So it was like a, it was a different like, it was just such a different art form to make a good mix tape than it was to make a good mixed CD.
Yeah, because you had to hit the break.
You had to put it together right up to the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first th, it, it, it, thi, it, it, it, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was just, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, like, like, like, to, like, like, to, like, tho.. It's, like, like, like, like, like to hit the break. Yeah, you had to hit the break. You had to put it together right up to the first 45 minutes
of that 90-minute maxil cassette.
And I feel like you could do better packaging.
Because I used to get real arty, farcie with the liner notes.
Yeah.
On a CD.
And I feel like, or on a CD? My trick, the thing I really liked was putting like a
real good meaningful song as side B track one. You can't do that on a mixed
CD. You can't. You can't. Well anyway.
Well anyway, and now CDs no longer exist. It's true. I like that this movie is making you just randomly nostalgic for things.
Particularly a movie that was made 18 years before I was born.
That's funny that you mentioned that, because when I was watching it,
I was thinking I first watched this movie probably 20 years after it was made.
Yeah. And that was in 1986.
Oh my god.
You know how old I was?
Two.
I was two.
Yeah.
Just love that.
Because for me, like the difference between 1986 and 1966 was 100 years.
Right. But then think about 1986 to 2006.
Right, right.
Oh my God.
It also seems like a hundred years ago.
100 years.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What will 2026 be like?
Will we get there?
We're going to get there?
We're going to make it.
We're going to come out of this stronger. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. We have th, yeah. We have th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to th, th, th, thi, to thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho. to to to to to tho, to tho, to to to to to to to to the the to the to tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th going to come out of this stronger. Yep. Yep.
Yep.
Oh, we haven't mentioned the fact that we are recording in two different places right now.
No, we haven't.
But yeah, this is our second episode recording remotely.
So Luther gets kind of hoodwinked into spending the night of the house.
His machismo is tested. Oh, poor guy.
And so he's got to stand up for himself
and he goes to spend the night of the house.
And I think this is peak Don Knotts'-Hilarity for me.
Because a scared Don Knot's is the funniest Donuts.
He does that thing where he like zips himself into a sleeping bag
and then there's like a teeth chattering thing happening, which is straight the fuck the fuck the fuck the f.. to to to to th. th. th. th. th. he he. th. he he he. he he he's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- th- th- th- th-up, he's th th th th th th th th th. And so he's th. And so he's th th th th th th th th th th. And so he's th. And so he's th. And so he th. And so he th. And so he th. And so he th. And so he tho. And so he's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho' to the to too' too' tooooooooo' tooooooooooo' too-s toe tho-n' tho' tho' tho'ips himself into a sleeping bag and then there's like a teeth chattering thing happening
Which is straight the fuck out of Scooby-Doo to you know
I love that when he zips himself up in the sleeping bag the entire sleeping bag is vibrating
Yeah, his toes are chattering He can't get in the front door so he's sneaking around on the porch on the house. And he falls down a coal shoot, which he then knocks his own flashlight out of his hand.
It ends up at a rocking chair and it's flashing at him and that scares the shit out of him.
He's like, my flashlight.
As much as I love a scared dot not, I love a recovering from scared dot-nots.
I got this, I got this, I got this.
He's very brave, he does go in there and get, immediately, he doesn't even walk around
the house, he's like, I'm just going to lay down on this sleeping bag and go to sleep
right here on the couch.
I guess the whole plan was just for him to go to sleep. And while he's like setting up his bed for the night, there's chains rattling and footsteps
upstairs and he's just like, nope, nope, nope.
It's like someone's playing a compact disc of haunted house sounds, but like for children.
A hundred percent. Oh, and the whole house is covered in gigantic cobwebs.
Right, it is, and like, is covered in gigantic cobwebs.
Right, it is, and like furniture covered in sheets as you do in a haunted house.
I love when he walks in, the first thing he sees when he goes upstairs is the painting of Mrs. Simmons.
And he's like, Mrs. Simmons!
She was described as having cold eyes and thin lids, so I think he recognized her from that.
Thin lids!
And I love that the woman who was describing them was like, she had dark eyes.
She's like, the other woman's like, no, she had blue eyes.
She had cold eyes.
Yeah.
And thin lids.
Oh, you love it.
Just the idea of describing someone as having thin lids. Oh, you love it. You love it. Just the idea of describing someone as having thin lids.
I've never noticed another person's eyelids in my life.
No, I feel like that's something they'd have to tell you.
Right, right. Because it's like they can't sleep at night because like they close
their eyes and the lights just streaming in somehow.
So there's eerie laughter in the house which gets him out of his
sleeping bag. He throws a book against the book case. And it opens it do that?
Why does he do that again? Because he's like you're not going to trick me?
Waa and throws a book because you know his body's a lethal weapon.
Right. He runs upstairs? Yeah there's a secret staircase. I do too. I've always wished to find one in my own home.
Same. It's hard when your home is like 20 feet by like 60 feet. And slammed up against other houses.
Yeah. You're like, I can't even fit a bathroom in here. Yeah, you find a secret staircase through putting a bathroom in it. Honestly. So he
he goes upstairs, he finds the organ, sees the bloodstains on the organ, and the organ starts
playing. Yeah. Bonan, no, no, no, no. It's very spooky. so spooky, so spooky.
So, so spooky.
Until it gets ragtime.
I like spooky ragtime now, though.
It gets like funky, jazzy at one point.
I like it.
I mean, genuinely I do.
I love the soundtrack to this movie, but it's also like, that's, it stops being spooky.
It wants to start riffing.
So he runs down the steps to escape the organ playing by itself and that's where he sees the gardening
shears in the painting with blood coming out of the neck of Mrs. Simmons and
this is where he faints. Yeah, yeah he does. In classic Don Knot style. That man can
take a bump. Oh man. Oh man, later on when he does that Pratt fall into the elevator. He looked so bad that was the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho-s tho-s thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th the th the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeeea thea the the the elevator? He looked so bad! That was such a bad bump! I was scared.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's a 42-year-old man, he's going to be hard to recover from that.
So, oh, so the next scene we see him, he's in the... He's at the newspaper, and he's trying to explain to him when he saw, and he just keeps going, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to, to be to be to be to, he's told, he's to, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's to, he's, he's, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to be... to, he's to, he's to, he's to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, he's to-a, to explain to him when he saw, and he just keeps going, it was terrible, just terrible.
Terrible.
Terrible.
So they write this story that has captivated the entire town.
And much of the town, it seems is part of the occult society.
It seems like a very large occult society for such a small town, but these women are into it. Yeah, for sure. The Psychic Occult Society of Rachel.
Yeah, all these like old hat-wearing ladies.
And they are just like chanting nonsense words.
Oh, tero-caro-Salemong.
Yes, I don't know why I didn't remember that,
because they do say it a number of times.
Yeah, they're, so everyone's freaking out.
They want to get into the house. times. Yeah, they're, so everyone's freaking out, they want to get into the house.
Um, the cops won't let anybody,
there's some communist joke that I forgot to write down what the communist joke is,
but I just like that one exists.
They say something like they're trying to reach the other world and the, I think it's a cop and he. Oh, this leads to another one of our, or of the
double entendre that I don't know that they meant to be a double entendre.
Because the head of the Psychic Occult Society of Rachel is Mrs. Maxwell, wife
of the banker, and she owns 51% of the stock in the bank and is like, yeah, no, you're not going to sign those papers to close, or to, so they can the the the the the the the the, or the, or the, or the, or the, the, or the, the, or the, or the, the, the, the, or the, the, the, or the, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, the, of, or, of, of, of, or, of the, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, of the, of the, of the, or, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the to, tho, their, tho, tho, the stock in the bank and is like, yeah, no, you're not going to sign
those papers to close, or so they can knock down the Simmons place because it's a spiritual
thing now.
And Mr. Simmons, when Mr. Maxwell is talking to Mr. Simmons, he says, my wife vibrated for
an hour about it.
I honestly don't think so.
I don't think so. Maybe I'm being naive, but it tha tha tha tha thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, but it to to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi, thi. thi, thi. thi, thi, toe, toe, toe, thi, thi, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. So, tho. So, tho. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. No. No. No. No. No. No, thi. No, too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, tho. So, I honestly don't think so. I don't think so. Maybe I'm being
naive, but it felt so clean to me, you know. I do you for sure. I honestly feel like
those were not meant to appeal to a different audience.
But it's so filthy sounding. It is. Also vibrating for an hour is a tough.
That's some stamina. That's some stamina. That's some stamina. And who has the time? Oh God we're already 45
minutes in. Yeah I know. Sorry. Let me tell you about every line in this movie. All right
so we skip ahead. The Rachel throws a, the COC throws a picnic for him.
Yeah.
Can I just talk, can I talk really, really quickly about the motto of Rachel, Kansas?
Yeah, go ahead.
Home plate for wheat and democracy.
That's all.
Uh-huh.
I don't even want to talk about it.
I just wanted to say it aloud.
It's little things that like that, but I'm like, are they kind of like making fun of Midwesterners?
Like, yes, definitely.
Okay.
Okay.
Don't you think?
Yeah, because there's also like that weird, like, when the cops going around to verify the who's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like when the cops going around to verify the who's
who's COC and who's not and like there's the like TV bum-looking guy from the 60 that's like, I'm Rotary. What does that even mean? What does that even mean? What does rotary mean actually?
Can you tell me? It's a different business council. Oh, a rotary club are like businesses to get together to do like things things th things things things things things things things things things th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the th th their their their their their their their their their their their th businesses to get together to do like things in the community. Fascinating. Well in my day, this is where we get the
introduction of Atta Boy Luther. Oh my god and they like introduced that gag halfway through this movie and then they're like, wasn't that amazing? Let's do it a billion times. Fun fact, the person saying, At-A-Boy Luther is the writer of this movie.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, that checks out.
Luther follows the mayor who does a, uh, when the mic's feeding back, he says the sound guy
must be a Democrat. And Luther t tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries try try try th try the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same joke the same joke the same jokes the same same same jokes the same jokes the same same same to to be a Democrat. And Luther tries to do the same joke to crickets, which is amazing.
His speech scene is so hard for me to watch.
It's really like that kind of cringy embarrassment where you're like, please just let this end, you know?
So, can I, can I get real here for a second?
Of course, it's your birthday.
One of the reasons I think I love Don not so much,
is because I was a super awkward kid.
Yeah.
And he played super awkward characters in these movies
that ended up being the hero.
Yeah.
And I feel like there's something that I like identify with on a fundamental level with that.
I like that a lot. Yeah.
After he does his speech, it's hilarious,
because he's not saying any coherent sentences.
Oh, his speech flies away from him.
The paper's just foop right out of his hand.
It's just.
Everyone's still like applauding him, and somebody comes up and says, I loved your speech,
which I really liked it. They're getting autographs from him. Yeah, P. He's a th is is is is is is is is is is is is is is th. th. th is a th. th. th is a thi is a thi's thi's a thi's a thi's a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I. I. I. thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to toee toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th it. They're getting autographs from him. Yeah, P's a town ceilab.
That's what I'm saying.
That's why Alma's on this.
People are getting his autograph.
She can sit at the COC table with him.
She likes that, though.
I think she's a social climber.
That's possible.
That's possible. But as like someone comes up and hands a piece of paper that he's going to sign to him, and the guy's like, oh, you don't sign a summons, Luther.
Oh yeah.
He's been served.
To be fair, we're like a third of the way into this movie.
The next third of it is just courtroom drama, which I did not expect.
Oh, the drama is in hard quotes, but I appreciate that. Oh yeah.
I mean, the courtroom scenes are hard to watch and probably should have been cut.
It's just a series of people being questioned that seem to be on Luther's side and then under-questioning, completely, fuck him over.
And like, the opposing attorney, so he's being sued for liable for writing the story about how the house is haunted because that's not
true, and the opposing attorney is like this old crickety-looking man who just
like hops out of his chair in the first scene that we see him, jumps into
Luther's face and is like, I'll tear you to shreds on the stand. And I was, where the fuck did you come from?
And then he's a revolver-
I thought that was just a bag of clothes.
Yeah.
He, that's an actor who has played that character in so many movies and TV shows.
Weird. Maybe then it should have been expected, but I was shocked. And it's a real swift move to trial. They go
to trial in about 16 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Not a lot going on in Rachel, Kansas.
No, they are selling popcorn outside the courthouse too, which I like a lot.
How'd you feel about the judge? He seemed fair and balanced. And like a cowboy.
Yeah, well he was wearing a bolo tie. I guess we should mention that. I definitely definitely definitely thought the bailiff was also the chief of police. They're two different people who look exactly alike.
Everybody in this movie looks exactly like to me except for Don Nots. I have to be honest with you.
Like it took me a couple times of Ollie showing up before I was like, oh that's the same guy. But I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho- tho-I tho-I thi thi thi tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-a tho-a tho-a' tho-a' their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thee. I'm toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo'-s. I'm the. I'm th guy. But I think I was just surprised that he lived in the boarding house.
That's all.
Sure.
Yeah, you thought he'd be a rough single guy on his own.
Yeah, have a bachelor pad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Someh.
told you, they.
tooe, the tooom. I don't know why it bothers me.
She dumps Ollie.
Bothers you because it looks hell-oh weird to see the two of them kissing.
It just bothers me because I'm like, well you've known him all along.
Why now?
You know, was it just, I don't know.
He's really blossomed at 42.
Right. Right. I also, I, real quick, the guy who is called up to defend Luther and they're like,
when was the last place your space traveler meeting who met?
And the guy's like, no, on Mars.
I did like that guy quite a bit.
So, so the only way that Luther can prove that the story isn't liable is to take everybody
to the house, the judge, the jury, and all interested parties, and have them see for themselves
that the house is haunted.
But like, it's not the anniversary anymore.
So I felt like that was one legal strike against him that his lawyer didn't even
bring up.
It is clearly ineffective
assistance of counsel for a variety of reasons. They were not perfectly
recreating this situation. No and he didn't even like ask that teacher any
questions when she said that Luther was painfully thin and very keyed up.
And his shoes fell off a lot? Yeah. My shoes fell off a lot because they were my brothers.
So they go to the house and none of the things that Luther said were scary were actually there.
Shockingly. Shockingly, I thought it would just happen again and then he'd be the hero. No.
No, it has to get oddly, weirdly, just weird right after this point.
I honestly, I don't know if I was too high or what, but I do not understand what happened
here at all.
So while everybody goes upstairs to look at the organ, Alma had noticed Nick Simmons fucking
around the fireplace.
Okay. So she broke off from the group and went and saw that when you twist the iron on the fireplace it opens the bookcase up. Sure. What is Mr.
Kelsey doing I guess is my question. Mr. Kelsey couldn't get in the house because
he wasn't part of the court party. Oh he had planned to make it look like a
haunting because he had done it to Luther. Exactly he was trying to sneak back in to make it all happen. But the the the to, to to to the to to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. the. the the. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. their. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to Luther. Exactly. He was trying to sneak back in to make it all happen.
But why did he do it to Luther?
Because he wanted to, he wanted to make sure Nick Simmons got the justice he deserved.
And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that old Irishman.
Apparently there's a cut scene where Kelsey explains how he did everything, including
there's two paintings of Mrs. Simmons and he rigged the wall that he could spin them around.
Oh my God, I would have liked to have seen that.
Exactly. But for some reason that was cut very early from the movie, probably because it's already
too much.
So everybody is like pissed off and disappointed
that nothing happens in the house, they all take off.
And as Luther is walking away, he hears the organ music,
runs back in, Kelsey's playing the organ in a very dramatic reveal.
Yeah, although you could tell exactly who it was from the doorway.
He's the only man in town with that patterned baldness.
And then right from there, Simmons kind of busts out
that he's gonna kill Alma if they don't do something.
Right, he has her from behind
and he has her like in a hostage situation, which is like,
then Mr. Kelsey and Don Nuts start like casually making a plan where
Mr. Kelsey's like, Don Nuts, run down the stairs, open the fake bookcase and get in there
behind him.
And the bad guy's like, I'll just wait.
Like, is this how hostage situations work?
He comes up behind him and they just negotiate for a while.
Like, that's not how it would work. He comes up behind him and they just negotiate for a while. Like, that's not how it would work. You kill the hostage.
You at least cut him a little.
Simmons is wearing black leather gloves. Oh, so silly. That's such a criminal thing to do,
black leather gloves. Maybe this is the first Gialo movie.
Uh, so Don Knotz movie. Americana Gialo.
So Don Knotz runs, I love when he runs to go down the steps and runs down the wrong hallway and has to come back.
It's just this little like thing that they didn't need to add that just brings me so much joy.
Just to let him be a physical comedian is what is necessary.
So he opens the door and tries to karate chop Simmons and hurts his own hand hand hand hand. the the the their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the their. their. their. the tho. the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. the. tho. tho. thea. So. So. So. toge. toge. So. So. toge. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So. So, opens the door and tries to karate chop Simmons and hurts his own hand.
Right in the back of the neck, too.
I feel like you wouldn't have to karate chop someone
in the back of the neck that hard for it to hurt them.
Not at all. And so then he just throws his whole little ass body at the man and knocks him down. He does. Which also like knocks Alma hard into the door frame. to h h h h h h h h h. to to to to to to to to to to to to him. to to to him to to to him him to to to to to to him to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tom. tom. tape. try. try. try. try. try try tom. try tom. tomorrow. to to to to to to to to the t he just throws his whole little ass body at the man and knocks him down.
He does. Which also like knocks Alma hard into the door frame. Did you notice that?
Yeah. I don't think they plan for that to happen. No, I think, I hopefully, yeah, she didn't get too messed up, because it really threw her into the doorframe.
And then the next scene is the most scubid-do thing that's ever th. Yeah. Yeah tied down to a chair telling the cops exactly what just happened. He would have got away with it.
You're right.
That's exactly what it is.
He would have got away with it if it weren't for you meddling Irishman.
And I love that when scene is a fucking wedding.
Whose wedding is it?
Don Knot he kisses Alma,
and by someone, I mean the same guy who's been yelling at it the entire movie.
Yep.
The organ starts playing by itself and it plays the song from the Simmons House.
I liked that though. I liked that a lot.
And that is the ghost of Mr. Chicken.
Alan. Tell me how you feel about this movie.
They probably adore it. It's like, oh, you know, you have like, uh, like, uh, just like, just like, comfort food, or like, you know, you smell a smell, the smell, that's like, oh my god, that just makes me, like, like, the to thr-a.......... th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, you smell a smell that's like, oh my God, that just makes me, like cooked bread, just makes you feel like so warm and good and like, that's what this movie is for
me.
It's just like a blanket of a movie.
I giggle through the entire thing.
Like Don Knotch just brings me joy on a profoundly idiotic level.
You think he's the greatest comedian of all time, yes or not? For me, it's
either Hammer Dom Deloese. You know I like Dom de Loweys. And also you can
throw in Don Rickles. So I like Don and Dom's a lot. But those are like the guys
that I like cut my comedic teeth on, like and I have it Costello's in there as well.
Yeah. Because I'm a hundred and seven years old. Yeah.
But yeah, this movie is a ten. I love it to death. I love it to pieces. Tell me
what you thought. I, this was like getting into a warm bath, you know. But it was just like
slightly not hot enough, I think for me. And then your fingers got pruned. No, yeah. You know what, this is an absolute delight to watch.
It does explain a lot about you, and I appreciate that very much.
It's so silly, but it's so watchable.
It was in the times of garbage that we're living in right now.
It was just something, it was such a nice palate cleanser.
So I'll give it a eight-and half. Oh, I'm so happy.
Oh, that's so wonderful. Good. Happy birthday, my friend. I feel like this is a great movie.
If you have like six, seven, eight, nine, ten year old kids. Yeah. Like you can show them this movie.
And like, it's a, maybe a little spooky, but like, I think it'd be fine for a kid. If they can handle thi th if th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi thi, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, th. Good, thi. Good, thi. Good, thi. Good, thi. Good, that, that, that, that that that that tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. Good, tha. Good, tha. Good, tha. be fine for a kid. If they can handle Scooby-Doo, they can handle this. Totally.
My friend Christina was like, oh, I loved that movie as a kid.
And I was like, how old are you?
I'm 46, Katie.
I'm your friend Christina, you've known for you.
Christina, your beard.
So since this is so long, what are we doing next week?
Next week, Next week ends our month of folk horror slash
Alan's birthday and begins a new month, which we are calling
the month of pandering.
Mm-hmm.
We're trying to get up on those charts in those countries.
We're going to do a Finnish movie because we're so close to the top.
We are. Yeah, what finished movie you want to do? Lake Bodum. Oh fuck. It's on
Shutter, so if you have Shutter, I was very excited Shutter retweeted something I
today on the World Ambulance account. What did you say? Are we famous? I thanked Shutter for showing a bunch of Stuart Gordon movies since he passed away today.
Oh.
So, and they're putting up a bunch of his stuff so people can see it.
And they're putting up this, particularly this movie called Stuck, which is a movie of his
that I really love and isn't gross out gooey horror movie.
Yeah. Well, that's a little self-serving Shutter. Hey, any little little little little whatever they can give
us is great. I'm excited. I will not take shutter scraps. Give us a television
show or fuck off. At least put us on your podcast network. They have a podcast
network and we're not on it. Yeah, Adrian Barbow has a podcast on their thing.
Oh God I'm more famous than she is. You were not in Swamp Thing.
That's definitely true.
Anyway, we're gonna do Lake Bodum.
So Finland, tune in.
And everybody else too. You'll like it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So come back next week for that.
Thanks to people who have been buying shirts during this time of woe that feels crazy to
me to someone bought a shirt today.
Wow, you know what, maybe they're treating themselves because life is shit.
And to you, I say thank you, thank you, and I hope you enjoy it. Yeah, and thank you everyone who's reached out and told us how much we mean to them during this. That's like, I'm gonna keep harping on this because
it means the world to me. Yeah, and honestly it's just we're all in this
together and it sucks. So let's have all the fun we can I guess. Yeah.
Someone on Twitter said that they're watching movies that we've talked about that that they haven they haven they haven't they they they th. th. they th. th. Someone the they the th. Someone they their they their their they their th. Someone. Someone. Someone. Someone. Someone they they they tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi tho-I tho-I tho-I tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah to to to to to to to to to toge to toge to to toge to toge to toge to to to to to to tha to t haven't seen and listening to the podcast either immediately afterwards or while they're watching the movie.
Oh my god, I love that.
So it feels like they had friends that are watching the movie with them?
And I said, we will be your friends until the end.
Yeah, we'll bring snacks.
Yeah, we'll bring snacks, but like to be honest I'm hungry. Just listen to episodes where we've eaten
Eminems on the air. Count how many I eat it's the answer is all of them.
So I guess thank you for listening to another episode of WhereWulf Ambulance? Yeah
we'll see you we'll see around. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay.