Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 295- Pieces (1982)

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

First, you must know that Allen chose this film. Of course you already knew that. Second, holy ghost, what a movie. We're discussing the 1982 American-Spanish-Puerto Rican slasher "Pieces." Special to...pics for your consideration include: not having a real solid grasp on whether this is a comedy or just riddled with errors, a new classic food combo that we just invented, confusing the psychic women of Italian cinema and the fact that this movie has it all (if by "it all" you mean professors of kung fu, cops that are also tennis stars, grey-haired Ken dolls, the inferior Chris George, a groundskeeper with a bad attitude, terrible skateboarding AND someone else's keys!) If you'd like to hear more about the inferior Christopher George, check out Episode 248- "Grizzly" and Episode 281- "City of the Living Dead." If you'd like to hear from the superior Christopher George, you can hear him as a guest on Episode 207- "The Mummy." Hey, we have a Patreon! Check it out at https://www.patreon.com/werewolfambulance to see what supporting us can do for you. And hey, we have a subreddit! We're embracing it! Join us, or at least Katie (Allen's eyes don't work when it comes to Reddit) at r/werewolfambulance. And HEY, we have a merch store! Get yourself a t-shirt, cell phone case, throw pillow and more weird items at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. We're at: facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi Alan. Can I tell you what I think this movie should have been called? Yeah. It should have been called... Long pauses mid-sentence. Ha-yce-a'-ha-posses. Paces. It should have been called... Long pauses. Tell me about your relationship with this film. Um, thi sentence. I think that it's a piece. Tell me about your relationship with this film. I think this film was introduced to me by Mike Bolum, if I remember correctly.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Sounds right. I think on one of our drives back from Maryland Death Fest, we were talking about movies and this one came up. And my relation to this film is I think that it's a wonderful send-up of Giallo movies. I think it is a comedy movie from beginning to end. But I also understand that if you're not going into it with that mindset it's just a fucked-up movie. Yeah because the shutter description of it describes it as a horror comedy. Yeah yeah yeah and then when I was watching it I was like, but where is the funniest? Is it th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's the thi. I's the thi. I's the the the th. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm te. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm tea. teu. te. te. te. te. te. I'm te. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when I was watching it I was like, but where is the funniest? Is it funny because it's so absurd? Yes, okay. I think so. Okay. That's what it makes me think that it's like,
Starting point is 00:01:13 this is directed by J. Peaker Simon, who is the same director as pod people, and a movie called Slugs, which is about, is a horror film about people being killed by slugs. Wow. You know, the thing that you could definitely get away from. Oh yeah, yeah, they're not noted for their speed or agility. We're attacking prowess, really. No. No. I think there are some carnivorous slugs, if I remember correctly, but anyway, that's neither here nor there. But he makes like almost like absurdist movies. Okay. Like pod people was supposed to be his answer to E.T.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Wow. Wow. I mean, of course I've only ever seen that movie as part of the mystery science theater episode, but not, not just as a standalone. I think it would be unbearable to watch without the commentary. Trumpy, no. Oh God. This movie opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens the the the the th. th. th th th th th th th th th thi o. thi o. thi o' thoom thoom o' thoom thoom thi o' thi o' thi o' thoom- thoom- tho- tho- the commentary. Trumpy, no! Oh God. This movie opens with a kid doing a jigsaw puzzle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Which I deeply want this puzzle. It's a playboy pin-up jigsaw puzzle, basically. It's extremely unsexy, though. Yeah, yeah. The woman looks like a home act teacher. She looks like a home act teacher who's like checking herself for like body hair. Yeah, yeah, she's just doing a quick once over. Yeah. Yeah. And the kids mom finds him putting together this puzzle and freaks out about it being smut basically. Yeah. And then the smashes the mirror. And then we see the mirror.
Starting point is 00:02:36 It slaps the shit out of him. Yes, she does. We see the her smash the mirror and then a second later in the movie the movie the movie the movie. We the movie. Wea the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the mirror. the mirror. the mirror. the mirror. the mirror. the mirror. S. S. the mirror. S. S. their. S. S. th. th. th. S. th. S. S. S, th. th. th. their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I. t. I. I. I. t. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. t. t. t. the. t. the. the. S. later we see it again. And then later in the movie we see it again in slo-mo and I now I want you to explain to me whether that was meant to be funny to me to see that a three times. I think so. I think a lot of this movie for from my like step-point I feel like a lot of this movie is making fun of Dario Argento and Lucia Fulcci. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. It it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just is just so so so so so. It's is just so. It's just to so so. It's is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to see. It is to to to to to to to see. It is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to see. It is. It is to see. It is to see. It's is to see. It's is to see. It's is to see. It's the the the th. It's just th. It's just th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th., it's like, it just feels like, like, the whole opening feels like, like, the opening, like, the the the theprip the tip. the the psychic woman, jazz pianist, has to help the cop solve a crime. I think we did er. What was on with the psychic woman who dies, but then she's not really dead? Oh, that's a city living bed. That's a fulchie. Pardon me, sir. Get your Italian psychic women right?
Starting point is 00:03:35 I'm sorry. I got them so wrong. Yeah, I think we did Deep Red a long time ago. Okay. But yeah, it's just like the whole opening to this feels like the opening to Deep Red but like the little kid Nehigh Sox like doing a thing and then murdering his mom. Yeah, she is acting. She deserves to be murdered for that.
Starting point is 00:03:55 She's murdering the set and then he's murdered his mom. Yeah. It is, I mean, to be fair, that is a very good start to a movie. Of course. I love when the cops come in and open the closet and her head blinking is on the shelf in the closet. What I wasn't expecting was we see him kill her. Yeah. And then like the next shot of him, he has a saw in his hand. Yeah, and the lady's bagging on the front door. Yeah, and then he just goes goes the next the next the next the next the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoes is thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. th. thoes. the. the. the. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. t. the on the front tour. Yeah, and then he just goes back and finishes the puzzle, which I totally get the urge to finish. You can't just leave it undone.
Starting point is 00:04:26 He's covered in his mother's gore doing the puzzle. Yeah. Oh man, in any other light I'd probably be upset by that, but for some reason it tickles me so much. Just delightful. So that's like the cold open. Yeah, Boston. Yeah, Boston. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the. that's. the. that's. that's like. that's like. that's like. the the the the. that's like. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the th. th. to. tooooooo. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. Right, right. And then the next thing that comes up is like Christopher George's name and I was like you did not mention to me that this was a Christopher George vehicle. Listen I can't warn about Christopher George all the time. You just have to let it come to you naturally. Spring on me like that. And the opening credits are like a very drippy font, just next to a still shot of a knife. So dumb. The trailer for this movie ends with the tagline, You Don't Have to Go to Texas for a Chainsall Massacre.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Oh my God. Which also makes me think it's a comedy. Yeah. Well, the poster for it, the tagline is, it's exactly what you think it is? Yeah. bad translation? So you're saying it's not? No. I assumed that the director was not a native English speaker. No, he's Spanish. Juan Simone, yeah. Yeah. Jay Peaker Simon. Yeah, that is what you said, isn't it? Yeah, he like, his directing name is Jaffeer Simon, but it is Juan Simone. Oh my god. I love, so they're doing the Giallo-gloved hands thing. When we see the black-glove hands putting the puzzle together?
Starting point is 00:05:46 So bad. They're rubber gloves, they're not leather gloves, so it's like, they have no dexterity? The person is having so much trouble putting that puzzle together and they weren't like, let's just try this again. No, they just start in the movie, we see those black-gloved hands open a box and pull out a photo, but the photo is stuck and it's like, mm-mm, uh-uh, and it pops out, and I was like, why didn't you just reshute this? And it's a picture of mom from the beginning with her face exed out in lipstick or maybe blood. Yeah, question mark. And it's like, this movie is 80 minutes, andthey're spending 10 of them on an unboxing sequence. You know? The OG unboxing sequence? Right. Well it's been almost another 40 years because it's like
Starting point is 00:06:34 40 years later again. Oh wow. They should make this movie again. More pieces. So we then go for mom's X-stop picture to a woman skateboarding poorly. On a tiny skateboard. On a tiny skateboard. They they're. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. They should. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, they should. Oh, they should. Oh, they should they should they should they should they should they should. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. So we then go for mom's X-top picture to a woman skateboarding poorly. On a tiny skateboard. On a tiny skateboard. But that was a skateboard of the time. Sure, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The answer to the long board was the short board, presumably. There's a truck delivering a mirror. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, why doesn't she bail? She sees it coming from a good half block.
Starting point is 00:07:13 She could have stopped. I just have the note she can't stop. What? What? Why? And then there's just like a chainsaw creep in the bushes Yeah. That beheads a woman who's underwear showing under her skirt, or her skirt is pulled up.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Like this movie is very tawdry. Oh yes, tauery is a great word for this movie. But I also felt like that was satirical. Like the boob shots are so insane. They're like slime ball, bolorama level, like. Yeah. Yeah. I did like that she got beheaded and then wiggled.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah. And I love the shot of her beheaded, where you could tell the woman's head is just stuck in the ground. I thought about that like. It's so painful. Yeah, it's a weird angle. And that was really uncomfortable. It couldn't have been quick.
Starting point is 00:08:06 No. Yeah. No. I can see why they only did one take there, but the rest of them. And bam, Christopher George is in the picture. He's a policeman. I think I hate Christopher George is my next note. One Chris George to rule them all. It's not this one. This is our third or
Starting point is 00:08:27 fourth? Yeah. Grizzly? City of Living Dead. Yeah, this. I thought there was one more, but maybe not. I think I said he was in prom night, but when I looked back I wasn't sure he was actually in prom night. Okay. I'm not sure. Still, we've done a number of Chris George's vehicles. I hate him more every time. Do you th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theee. the. thooooooooooooo. the. the. th. th. th. th vehicles. I hate him more every time. Do you like when he pulls out a cigar, asked his partner for a match, and the guy goes, I don't smoke, and he gets mad at him? No, I don't. Do you like the dean looks like Dracula? I do.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I love that there's no way when you first meet the dean, you're not like, well, there's the killer. Right. Although I did think it might be the anatomy professor. Professor Brown. Yes. And I did like the college student, which I'm putting in finger quotes, because she was, I don't know, 40. Being like, the most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a water bed at the same time. But she's clearly speaking Spanish or Italian, and it's just like, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi. And, they're thi. And thi. And thi, thi, thi, and it's just like, what is this? There are so many lines that women say in this movie that no
Starting point is 00:09:30 woman has ever said. Ever. But or any like professor has ever said because there the cops come into his classroom and he's like talking about this skull. He's like, it's the skull of a girl about 16. God knows where he got it, but like I sure do keep it on display You know Again pure comedy pure gold that explains the groundskeeper to who is just like a big smug lunk. Yeah, that guy is great Is he yeah for all of our David Lynch dune heads out there? He is the beast or a bond? Okay. George Lynch or David Lynch is George Lynch? to the? the George Lynch is? the? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. S. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. the th. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. S. th. S. S. th. th. the the the th. th. the the the th. S. heads out there, he is the Beast of Raban. Okay. Or David Lynch is George Lynch from Dawkin. Anyway, sorry, I'm losing my mind.
Starting point is 00:10:11 That's fine. But yeah, he looks like, he looks like, he looks like. Oh, actually he may have played Brutus or Bluto or whatever the fuck his name is for Popeye. If he didn't, he should have. He looks just like that. Because his whole time he's just like one scuinty eye staring at everyone. Like a big barrel chest. Hey professor, where are the pectoral muscles? Oh my god. He's like here and here.
Starting point is 00:10:37 So shitty. These kids are so horny. They're the horniest college kids of all times. Oh, the one detective who looks like a gray-haired Ken doll, who's also in pod people, pod people. Oh, okay, okay. He has some of the best lines in this movie. His first line is, we're just out buying clothes without the label and try it on precise. You know what? Sir. So the cops have like no interest in solving this crime.
Starting point is 00:11:14 They do literally, actually Christopher George does zero detective work. At least Gray Kendall, like, does a lot of background research. He's doing, going through a lot of files. Christopher George does absolutely nothing. His only job is delegation. And it's like, these are white women being murdered on a college campus, and they're just still holding class. How could they think no one would notice when three students were killed?
Starting point is 00:11:42 I love that the first killing isn't even a thing. It's not under the second killing that the cops get involved?. And the the the the the the th. And th. And the th. And th. And th. And the th. And th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the the the thi. thi. their. their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. th that the first killing isn't even a thing. It's not into the second killing that the cops get involved. The second killing is the pool killing? I know there's another there's another killing in the bushes. I think there's two killings early on in the bushes. Okay, okay. And then we get to the pool killing. Man, you would think a college pool would be, you know, more oriented towards athletics? Not fucking? Well, it's like, it's like has a very narrow ledge to like a bunch of glass windows. I was like, is the swim team not working in here?
Starting point is 00:12:16 And 100% looks like a Roman bath. And then, when they show the other half of the room, I was like, is this even the same room? What is happening? It's just like racks like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the thoom, thoing the the thoom? thoom? thoom? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi?a? thi. th. th. the same room? I don't think so. I mean what is happening? It just like racks for towels on the other hand. Hundreds of them though. Did you watch this with subtitles on? Yes I did. When the woman goes into the pool and it just says sexy jazz music. It is sexy jazz music though to be fair. She hands her boyfriend a note and is like, hey, come to the pool, like, I want to fuck in the pool or whatever. Fuck in the pool. Okay, Marsha. She's wearing a bikini under jeans and a sweater, which is so fucking impractical.
Starting point is 00:12:53 She was like, I just sat through two hours of European history, and I was like, in a bikini? Unbelievable! Oh my God, it's so good. Her death is absolutely fucking bananas. It's hilarious. She gets dragged out of the pool with like a net that you would use to catch fish. No, it is not a pool skimmer. It's a deep net. It's like there might be fucking coy in there.
Starting point is 00:13:19 You can barely catch a leaf with a net and they catch this woman. And she gets, when he puts the net overhead, she's like, Oh, oh, oh. She becomes completely docile. It's like grabbing a cat by the scruff of the neck. Like, why is she so docile? He pulls her out of the pool and she's exhausted. It takes her a long time to get scared. Because there's a lot of her arching her back so that
Starting point is 00:13:46 her bosom is shooting towards the sky. Oh yeah, she immediately went topless in the pool. There was that second where she like strips under the bikini she like, nah, and it takes the top one. She hardly thinks about it. So the guy pulls her out, she's arching her back with the boobs and he runs and grabs a chainsaw and then it's a different chainsaw from the beginning chainsaw it's much smaller and he he hacks her up yeah and the her boyfriend is handed a note by another student who says don't tell me I'm the bearer of bad news I could kill myself why is that guy what is he doing I don't know why does he show up later as a punk rocker I don he doing? I don't know. Why does he show up later as a punk rocker? I don't know! So we see someone carrying like a bag of parts but it just looks like a turkey, like a Thanksgiving turkey uncooked.
Starting point is 00:14:38 And he's just going, hmm, grisly. It's a grizzly, it's a grizzly from grizzly. This is a Christopher George movie, we're gonna need moaning, we're doing a lot of moaning. He's got a walk-in freezer in his apartment, I think. Yeah, yeah. And all through all of this, we're meant to understand that like, Kendall, women cannot wait to fuck Kendall. Oh no, oh weird looking. Oh 100%! Yeah, I was not expecting to see his dong though. I was surprised by that. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:15:12 We do not see a lot of don't. But I appreciate it by the amount of boobs that are in this. Oh yeah, give us a dong in a to'n'e thin. Yeah, slap a little cock on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I's thi. Yeah, I's thi. Yeah, I's thi. Yeah, I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I was thooo's toooooo. I's thoooooo. I was thoo. I was tho. I was th dean, so Christopher George suggests putting two women undercover on campus and the dean is just fucking infuriated by that idea. I think he would have been where he even were he not the killer. Sure. Yeah, doesn't make any sense. Who did they, who they put on campus? A 47-year-old woman. Who is a tennis star? Yes, no one recognizes her as such though. No because she's a tennestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestestest. the the the the the the theeoeoe? Who the? Who's a thiiii. thi. thi. thi. So. Who thi. Who thi. thi. thi. thoom. Who's thi. Who's thi. thi. thi. Who's, so, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, the the the the the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooooo. I. I. I's, thi, such though. No, because she's a tennis star who works with the police department. Yeah, that's, uh, is policing is her day job and tennis star is like her extracurricular activity. I see. I didn't know if
Starting point is 00:15:55 she was like a consultant or an actual cop. So we're told that she's gonna go undercover as the tennis coach, which is fine. Yeah. But then the first time we see see th we see th we see th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the thu thu thu thu thu- thu thu tho- the tho- the the the the the the- the- the the thu- thu- thu- thu- the the the the the the the the the the the the the is the is the is the is the is the is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te te te te te te teanan tean tean tean tean. tean tean tean tean tean tea tea te te te t the tennis coach, which is fine. But then the first time we see her, she's playing. And she sucks. And she sucks. They both suck so bad. It's the slowest game of tennis ever. But she's like, it's the, it's, yes, the vigor is not there. But why is the tennis coach competing against a student? I don't know him. When the match ends and the crowd of 12 people erupts in a thousand people's loud cheering.
Starting point is 00:16:29 I loved it. It sounded like an NFL stadium. Oh my God. So yeah, that's a dancing scene where when the woman is counting as their dancing but is a way too slow she's like one two three there's like five moves that are happening between each four yeah that's not how dancing works Oh, and one woman is just dancing in a tube top, which is extremely 80s. I like the leg warmers pulled all the way up.
Starting point is 00:17:11 I appreciate that. It's a good look. Legwarmers and like a thong leotard, which is such a just like... With tights on underneath them. So much is jammed up your ass while you're wearing this. One thing that didn't make any sense to me, amongst many things that didn't make any sense to me, was the reporter? Yeah. He's at the tennis match. Didn't she just see that woman at the station? Yeah. So she knows that's a cop?
Starting point is 00:17:38 Uh-huh. But they were just telling her that nothing was going on on campus. She does not question this. Nope. Okay. I'm slayed by a withering look who gives a the note tries hitting on a woman and she's just like, fuck you. And he says, I'm slayed by a withering look who gives a shit. Yeah, that is actually pretty funny. I'm slayed by a withering look who gives a shit. Who gives a shit? Clearly you do, God. So one of the dancers goes out to the bathroom. What did she say?
Starting point is 00:18:16 I don't know what she says. Oh, I gotta go to the John. Did she say that? I have the note a thing no woman has ever said. Nope. Later, she does, she, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.a, thi.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, too. Cla, thi. W. th note a thing no woman has ever said. Nope. Later we see her alone in a dance studio. And I feel like they let her improv that dance and let me tell you it shows. When she walks to the bathroom, it takes 11 minutes.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Oh yeah, this is an 80 minute movie. All these scenes take, like she puts her clothes back on while very tense music is playing for a really long time and nothing tense is happening. I have a no idea it says, I just zoned out for a couple minutes, I guess she's still walking around. And she goes to finally gets in the bathroom and grabs the door and he flies open and another woman comes out and she goes, oh you scared the shit out of me. That's funny too. I love how vulgar this woman is. Hiding a chainsaw behind your back is very lull.
Starting point is 00:19:16 When he does it later when he's climbing into the elevator with that one moment and he has to put it in front of him to get on the elevator? Yeah you can't do that. So he attacks her in the bathroom. Yeah. She does not try to kick or fight back. She just goes, ewwed and waits for her fate. Oh my god it's so dumb. Yeah. We keep getting these cut-in scenes of the begloved hand doing the puzzle and just mashing pieces into the puzzle. They're going in the right spot but because they have no dexterity, just like, it's like my toddler doing the puzzle. So we find out that Susie, the dancer is alive. Yeah. But then she isn't, so don't worry.
Starting point is 00:20:08 I can't remember what part of, are they, he was trying to take her feet? I don't know, doesn't it thea. Yeah, because the killer is taking parts of wind. I think you're confusing her with the elevator killing. That's later. I tho, the elevator killing is later. It's a woman with like long hair and he cuts her in half and they find half. No, that's in the bathhouse. That's when the music is playing over after she takes a shower.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Susie's the one where he was trying to cut her feet off. I don't know. Fine. I mean, fine, truly. I just like that there's a cop puking while this. kid is just relatively unfazed by it. Oh wait Susie cut, he cuts Susie's arms off that's what he does. Okay, okay. But she's doesn't... She'll never dance again! And when they open the door and she's in there and all three of the men puke when they see her? But Kendall doesn't. He's unfazed and I was like, oh Kendall must be the killer? And also why has he been deputized? Why is he in this crime? Because? Because, th.. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. th. th. th. thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, she, she, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi wants to fuck him. I just, do you think Christopher George wanted to fuck him? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Okay. Do you... Do you... That scene where he's having sex with that woman and she's screaming and he's yelling at her because she's being too loud? Yeah, you're enjoying this too much. She's so desperate that woman. Kendall, come back to bed, I'll do better. And you're like, ooh, just let Kendall leave. Why are they not canceling classes? What? No, you've, no. You've got to catch this killer. If you cancel classes, you won't catch the killer. How is nobody noticing that this is going on? How does nobody notice three women missing and like crime scene
Starting point is 00:21:42 tape and blood everywhere. Yeah, I feel like there was, I feel like there was more people paying attention during Happy Death Day to what's going on and that was all taking place on the same day. Oh yeah, totally. I forgot about this. I wanted to mention this with a Kendall's sex partner who's begging him to come back to bed. Her, you know I hate when words don't match up. I've gotten better about it over the years because you've made me watch so many of these movies. But she is not even close. She's just saying, ma, ma'a, ma'a, ma'a.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Yeah, it's fucking absurd. Yeah, but not only is it absurd that her mouth doesn't match up, but just the diet like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. th. to. th. to. thi. to. the the the the the. I'll try harder to not enjoy it. And then he's just standing in the window, dong in the wind, except for a flower pot in front of it. That's so funny. That is so funny. Well, the funniest scene in the movie, in my opinion, happens next when he walks outside.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Yeah. And the tennis coach is out there. Yeah, he leaves the woman he's having sex with because he sees the tennis coach walking around when he's flapping his tongue out the window. So he goes out but she has already been accosted by a Kung Fu master? Kung Fu professor! Why does this scene happen? Because he's like, he's like oh I just fell down but he definitely attacked her. Why does he say that? Why is he in this movie? The Kung Fu professor who he's there because there hasn't been enough racism yet. He falls, he gets up and he goes, I just must have fallen down. Bad chop suey and runs away. Runs away. He definitely attacked her. And she was fighting him back and he was still attacking her. So why did he do that? Hmm? Yes. And Kendall's like, hey, this is just my Kung Fu professor.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Are you taking that as an elective? Oh, you've met my friend. He's a Kung Fu professor. Dr. Kung Fu. And she's like, help me find my gun, and they get on the motorcycle and drive away? And I was like, didn't you just drop it right where you were standing where where could it have gone that you would need the motorcycle to get it? What? Why? So while this is going on we see that the reporter is creeping around in the same area right? The moaner moaning around her and I have
Starting point is 00:23:59 the note tension built through wandering. This movie is so much wandering. Oh and I think she gets killed the the reporter get killed then? tension built through wandering. This movie is so much wandering. Oh. And I think she gets killed. Doesn't the reporter get killed then? Maybe I'm misremembering. Does the reporter get killed on the waterbed? Oh my god, she does. Yeah. So she like runs into a building.
Starting point is 00:24:18 We've been told about this is the aforementioned water bed. Which is obviously a box with an inflatable rubber mat in it that has water underneath. Isn't that basically what a water bed is? Yeah, but they would be a lot more expensive and I don't think you would just want to tear that thing apart. No, and you're going to get one shot at it. Not that they took two shots of any anything again. This is the best kill shot in this movie. Because the knife bounces off. the knife off off off off off off. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the the the the. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. funny, is that why? When he hits her the back of the head and goes, oh, bwawn to the, but like, we see get the next shot of the knife coming out of her mouth. Yes, which is good. And like, I think the whole scene of like the waterbed filling with the blood-colored water and all that is very nice. But yeah, the fact that they didn't they they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't they didn't the the the the that the the the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the the the the the fact the theatheatheatheatheatheatheat that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. nenenenee. nee. neeat. the. theeeeeeat the. the. the you don't really need that shot. You could have cut it a second earlier. It's so silly. The sounds she's making are insane. Ah, ah, uh,
Starting point is 00:25:14 ah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ah, uh, ah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,oddler. Yeah, yeah, flapping hands. And Kendall drops off Mary and is like, oh aren't you gonna make some coffee? Yeah. Not tonight and kisses him on the mouth. She kisses him on both cheeks and then the mouth. And I was thinking she's meant to be American. Yeah. Americans don't kiss you. She's kissing everybody on two cheeks that no. She's very continental. Ugh. When Kendall leaves his apartment, he turns around and there's a guy in like a crazy skull
Starting point is 00:25:51 mask and pulls up his mask and goes, cause him Casanova and blows a raspberry in his face, and it's the guy from earlier who brought the note to him. Why was he there? I don't know, why was he wearing a studded jacket? I don't know. Where did, why was he wearing that mask? I don't know. Oh my God. Cut to woman taking a shower at the tennis courts.
Starting point is 00:26:14 No. No. Cut to woman hitting tennis balls. Oh, that's right by. And then marching band music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music to the full four seconds go by from the time the music kicks in till she reacts to it. Why didn't you just move it? Oh my God. She, that girl also cannot stop looking in the direction of the camera.
Starting point is 00:26:38 She's never looking directly into it, but she's always just making sure it's there. And she does not notice a man holding a chainsaw about 18 to 24 inches from her. Uh huh, uh, well there is the long shower shot. Yes, you get a lot of her butt. Yeah. A lot of full bush, a lot of boobs. And then she puts on some sweat pants. Yes, some track pants. No shirt and gets chased by a man with a chainsaw. And then she pees her pants in fear, which felt very sad to me to watch. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. to th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. the their. th. their to their their their their their their. Uh, their, their, their, their, their. Uh, their, their. Uh, their, their. Uh, their, their. their. their. their. their, their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I the. And, the. I te. And, the. I the. And, they. I's. And, they. I's their, their, th. No shirt and gets chased by a man with a chainsaw. And then she pees her pants in fear, which felt very sad to me to watch. I was like, why are you even doing this? I was like, you did this to be funny and it's not funny. It's not funny. It's really sad. Yeah. But of course she also does not kick or fight. No, she just gets cut in half. She pees and waits. Oh man. And Kendall's like, there's a phone in the janitor's room,
Starting point is 00:27:26 which he's also told us in a previous scene. Like, why are you so obsessed with the phone in the janitor's room, Kendall? I don't know, why is the groundskeeper hanging out in here? And why did the killer not think that putting on that marching band music would draw attention? Well, it covers the sound of Suzy thion thian thian thian thian the thian thian thian thin' thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi thi the theems the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the to to screaming. Yeah, but it draws people to them. Now this comes, now comes my favorite scene in this movie. Tell me. So Susie Bell has been killed. Candle finds her body because Mary Riggs is working with Willard the groundskeeper
Starting point is 00:28:00 to get the sound turned off because he kept going, not my job. These aren't my keys. These are my keys. Is that that's not what you were going to say? Wasn't it? No, it's after shit they find Susy Bell. Kendall tells Mary Riggs, turns to the camera and goes, bastard! Yes! And yells at three more times! Three more times. Three more times. And the police are just like, they're just like, well, I'm up a tree with this. Like, I cannot believe that three or four white girls on a college campus have been murdered. And I say white girls because we all know that they're going to get attention. And the police department cannot seem to put any more resources on it. And it's just all of the characters in this movie are just putting on like a master class on
Starting point is 00:28:52 how to look ridiculously suspicious. For sure. It's overboard. It is overboard. This is the community theater does Agatha Christie and gets it wrong. No, this is community theater, does Agatha Christie by translating it to German and then back to English. And then being like, did we get it? How do we get more boobs in Agatha Christi? Oh yeah. A real dearth of t the Dean's office.
Starting point is 00:29:26 That's his home, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Why is she at his house? I don't. She's got to interview him because she's got a hunch. Okay. I guess she doesn't tell anybody about her hunch. No, she doesn't tell anybody she's going there.
Starting point is 00:29:39 And Kendall has been assigned to go and search out information with gray-haired Kendall. Right, just put him on the case. What was Christopher George doing? Nothing. Trying to find a light for that cigar. Yeah. Ugh. Uh, would you like some coffee?
Starting point is 00:29:59 Yeah. Uh, no cream, but sacrae, tha'a'a sacroin? It's fake sugar, it's like Sweet and Lowe. Oh. And he says something about like watching your figure. I wouldn't think that was necessary with all the tennis you play. Dracula. I'm going to make you coffee. He's dripping some poison or something into her coffee.
Starting point is 00:30:25 So, yeah, I assume that if it was something like sweet and low, it would come in like a powder form. He pulls out like a bottle with an eye dropper and a stopper in it. She doesn't notice, she's facing it, and she's a cop, question mark? No, he's in that, he's away in the kitchen which is all covered in glass that you could totally see into. Those glass doors in the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen the kitchen thi you could totally see into. Those glass doors in the kitchen between the stove and sink are, first of all, very impractical. And second, incredibly dangerous. I feel like it was a shower stall that they put kitchen cabinets in.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Terrible. Terrible. And she's acting very nervous to be in the Dean's house. So why are you there alone without telling anyone you're going there? She's that good of a cop tennis? She's not. Because what happens to her proves it. Did you get excited when Kendall was eating Wendy's? I did. I said old Wendy's cup. So the dean tells her that Professor Brown is a homosexual. Yeah. That's why he's been behaving so strangely. Guys.
Starting point is 00:31:26 She also says about the coffee. She goes, oh, I love the cream. And he goes, well, of course, this is New England. You know, no. Is it? I don't know. Does he mean like chowder? Because that's the food I think of when I think of New England, like a cream, cream of...
Starting point is 00:31:46 A New England clam chowder? Yeah. Can you imagine if someone added you a cup of coffee with chowdered? Does it have oyster crackers? I feel like that'd be called like the fisherman surprise. Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Also, all the whole time that Kendall and Gray Kendall are, whoa, are going through these files, Gray Kendall is making it seem like it's the middle of the night.
Starting point is 00:32:17 We find out it's 8 p.m. I'm sorry you have to work at 8 for a detective. But he's like, fucking cops, you know? He's just the whole time like, I guess you're gonna be on the force now. He want a gun, I want to vote a badge, want to be a cop now? Want to be a cop now? I want to give you a little cop, a little cop, cup, cup. He really wants to take Kendel under his wing, the tip. But Kendall has expressed no interest in thii. their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He thi. He thi. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's their. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's the whole. He's just thi. He's just the the the the the the the the whole I'. He's the whole the whole the whole the whole. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the whole. He's thi. He's just. He's just just just just just just just just just te. He's just te. He's just te. He's just just te. He's just just just the the the the te. what you do when you take someone under your wing at the top. You gotta break them down. So the dean admits that he's given her a paralyzing drug and we see that because Mary Riggs just starts staring at the ceiling. Yep. Except when she isn't, but that's fine. I love that he puts down a tarp in his house because he loves his carpet. It's a nice place. I love that gray hair kind doll is reading a file and he goes, 40 years ago, the dean's mother was killed by an axe murderer.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Reston. It's got to be the dean. Yep, and it is. That's all the police work it takes. Why didn't you do background checks on all the faculty and staff the first person's, after the first person's death? How did you not? Because if that's all it takes, you could have had it.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Three bodies ago. I feel like that would be a known thing. Yeah. You would know that had happened to that would be a known thing. You would know that that had happened to that man. Somehow, you would know that as the police. Right. I mean, it seems like a crime that would be remembered. For sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Axe murder unsolved. Yeah. Little boy left orphaned, presumably. We forgot to mention that in the beginning when the kid kills his mom with an axe, he then hides in the closet and the cops come in and when they open the closet he goes, Big man, mommy. He's 11? Big man. Big man.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Big man. Mommy! That's so fucking funny. So he, as he's putting down the tarp, funky, like funky cop music starts playing and then somehow transitions into music that sounds a lot like trans-Siberian orchestra. I don't know why. It dies. And all the cops squeal into their brakes as they slide in front of the Dean's house. Yep, so they go up and find Mary, who suddenly now has lots of head control, as they move her
Starting point is 00:34:51 from the floor to a couch, might as well have left her. You have no idea what's going on with her, but they just jerk her up and try to get her walking around. Yep, yep. After Chris George shoots the door open. Yes, he does. They all stand so close to the door as he shoots it. He does, and they do. They just stroll in guns ablazing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:14 So, like, just describe to me what happens next. So as I remember it, they can't find the dean. So all of the cops are going, okay, well, he can't have gone far. We'll go somewhere. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He th. He they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theea. t t t t too. t too. t t tea. thea. thea. they they thea. thea. they can't find the dean, so all of the cops are go, okay, well he can't have gone far, we'll go somewhere else, Kendall, you stay here with Mary. Right. As soon as they leave, the dean comes out and attacks Kendall. And they hear none of it. It appears to be an apartment. But then they come running back in, and Chris George finally gets a pop off on the dean and shoots him in the head. How does Kendall not yell for the cops? Okay, just asking. I don't know. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Just asking. So after the dean's dead, they find the puzzle, the naked lady. They find all this stuff. The gray Kendall says, she's going to be all right. He just drugged her. And I was like, how do you know that,'ve no literally no way of knowing that she's going to be all right or that he drugged her. And don't fucking touch someone's face when they're incapacitated and can't stop you. Ever. Oh my god, it's just creep
Starting point is 00:36:15 fest. So they figure out that there's a secret door in the bookcase that when it spins around a Frankenstein woman falls out onto Kendall. I loved this. I loved this. And I was like, wow, what a great ending. Yeah. Yeah. So then Kendall is shook and and gray Ken doll is like, hey, you sure you still want to be a cop? And he's like, I don't know, man. And then they're walking out and the handshoots up and grabs his dick off. The end credits roll. But why, I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the th th th th th th th the th tho th the th the the the the. I tho tho tho tho. I tho. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th their their their their their their their their their their their their the. I the the the the theat theat theereeat theeat theerea theat theeeat the the tick and rips it off. The end credits roll. But why? Is it to punish Kendall for being promiscuous or to being, for being mean to a sex partner? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:54 It makes you want to jump up and down for joy every time I see it. I did not see that coming. No. I thought that that the woman who had been made of the pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the pieces the piece the piece the piece who had been made of the pieces was going to be the final scare. Sure, yeah, because that's terrifying. It's terrifying. But it's much funnier that she's alive and tries to and rip somebody's dick off. Yep. She couldn't possibly be alive. Nope. That's not how life works. Nope. Although one might say that uh, life finds away. Life finds away.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Well I hope Kendall's life goes on without his balls, though I don't have my hopes for him because it seems like going balls deep was his favorite hobby. He's got to go ball shallow now. You... weird. It's a weird thing to say me. I also should never have said going balls deep to be fair. Alternate title for this movie. No it's. It's um. It's um. It's, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, that's a that's a that's a th, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th th th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's a thi's a thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi-uh, the thi's the thi-uh, thi's thi's thi's thi's should never have said going balls deep to be fair. Alternate title for this movie, balls deep. No it's long, pauses mid-sentence. The dialogue is just bonkers, the pacing is bonkers, the pacing of people speaking is bonkers, that's how bad the pacing of this movie is. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Katie. Yeah. Please, uh, rate this movie for me? This is a fucking bag of hair. If the hair is alive somehow, and it's groping for your genitals, but you don't understand why and you don't know why you're there. It is non-sense. The fact that it's a comedy...
Starting point is 00:38:28 Here's where I have a hard time. Okay, go ahead. How is this a comedy? But City of the Living Dead isn't. Because this movie, I believe, is self-aware of what it's doing. I cannot recognize the difference. I just cannot see it. Because I feel like you can tell when a movie's trying to be funny. And I just don't feel it in this one.
Starting point is 00:38:54 It is bonkers. It's one of those movies I don't feel like I can give a numeric. I'm gonna give it two holes where your balls used to be. Yeah. Two holes where your balls still live. I'm gonna rate this movie now. Okay. Are you ready? I am. If you are a fan of Gialo movies,
Starting point is 00:39:17 I think that this movie perfectly sends them up. If you say that, that's their truly. If you say that that's their story. If you say so. I have to believe it's self-aware because it's so fucking stupid. Okay. I'm going to give this movie a nine. Oh my God. I knew you were going to, but I'm still shocked.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Should I go grab my DVD that I own of this movie? I don't want you to do that no, I don't. I just think that like it's it's absurdist filmmaking. I yeah. It's so like it is just like bonkers. It is absolutely bonkers. That it's it has to be self-aware. I hope so. I genuinely do. It was funny going back and watch it because in mind, this is the airplane of Gialo movies. Oh my god. But it is not that. It is not nonstop jokes. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:40:10 It's not. It's at points it seems like it's taking itself very seriously. For sure. Like when they show the woman's halved body in the elevator, you're like, well you really worked on this. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But you're just like putting women in holes, I'm not sure. It's so silly. Yeah. Oh, man. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah. Yeah. Do you want a little mail back? Yeah. We got a message that I feel like really blew my mind. Oh, good. This is from Tarzana 35. Hi Tarzana 35. On Instagram. Hi, I'm from Austin Texas. Hi from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Started listening to y'all a month ago. Already on episode 175. People love to tell us this. It makes me upset. Hilarious duo. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:41:01 I did some quick math. Yeah. There are 168 hours in a week. So over the last month, you have spent over a week listening to us. That's more than 25% of your time. Yes. Are you okay? We have to be in this person's dreams. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Also, I just feel like some of the old episodes were probably like so bad. I worry about people starting from one. Yeah, sure. Wow, thank you Tarzano 35. That is commitment. Yes. And if there's nothing we appreciate more than commitment. That was a Volvo station wagon. I just want you to know. Volvos drive by with the booming systems. That was booming. Katie. Alan. What are we going to do next week? Well, we've, th. Yeah, yeah? Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, I th thi tho, I th tho, I thi thi that tho th th th th th th tho tho tho tho th th th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. Volvo's drive by with the booming systems.
Starting point is 00:41:45 That was booming. Katie. Alan. What are we going to do next week? Well, we've been talking about this. Yeah. Getting back into the paranormal activity franchise and because I don't like to do things in a way that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Right. Let's do paranormal so too. Yeah, we're like the talking head. Stop making sense. I love that band. Speaking of paranormal activity, a quick shout out to a movie that we probably won't ever do. Uh, that movie host that's on shutter. That is a, um, zoom-based horror movie that's been done during the pandemic. Wait, is it like that one we watched that that that that that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one we watched with the teens all on video chat? You time on my movie, Unfriended?
Starting point is 00:42:27 Unfriended, yes, God, we hated that one. This is like a really well executed unfriended. Oh, okay. And it's an hour long. Because it's an hour long. Yes, that's a, that frees up 40 minutes of my week to do our action movie podcast. Maybe it's maybe you have to do paranormal activity three. Three. We'll do a host. Okay maybe. If you're wondering about our action movie podcast. What? You can, you can sign up for our Patreon. Yeah, and then you'll get it if you donate enough money. Donate, give us. What do you say? It's not donating because we're not a nonprofit.
Starting point is 00:43:06 I don't know what to call people who are, are they patrons who are Patreon people? Um, I think it says we have zero patrons. So yes, it's zero patrons. But to be fair, we're recording this before we will thank you in an episode of this podcast. Yeah. If you want to be a teen wolf, you can give us $5 a month where you'll get that same thank you shout out. Right. And you'll also get access to our now monthly bonus episode, which is going to be an action movie. And if you want to go all in, and you do. You want to go balls deep, like Kendall. You can be a total wolf wolf.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th that that same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same that, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha than than thannn. thann. thann. thann. tha tha thanna tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. can be a total wolf for $10 a month in which you'll get the thank you message. You'll get the bonus episode. You'll get membership in the
Starting point is 00:43:47 Wear the Ambulance Kids Club. I love it. In which you'll also get a membership card. Yeah. And you'll also be able to vote on future episodes that we do that we're only allowing for our top-tier members to weigh in on. So please do that. the bonus episodes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. If. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. the patron. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. I've never been to Patron. You never been to Patron. No, I never been to Patron. It's called Patron. I've never been there. It's fun. It's not the name of Piedditti's alcohol. Is it?
Starting point is 00:44:31 No, that's Sirok. Patron is a liquor. I didn't. Genuinely I don't know. He'll always be Padiddy to me. Pidditty. It always be Puff Daddy to me I think because that was my era of really enjoying him. I always wanted to make a karaoke machine that could remove Pditty from Biggie Small songs. Yes he did not need to step all over those. Yeah, all right. Uh-huh. Yeah. What? What? Who? W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th? Who? Who? th? Who? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? P? P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. Diii. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. D. those. Yeah, all right. Uh-huh. Yeah. What? Who? When? Okay. Later now? I like how you're doing that too, um, the tune of Cameron's Hey, Ma. What's up? We gonna get it on tonight. God damn, that song. Is it? That song so good? Is it? The camera on song? I love that song. It's so silly. It's just such a good call-in-response song.
Starting point is 00:45:28 It makes me very happy. Anyway. So become a patron. If you design. If you want to, you don't have to, and also we will keep doing this for you forever until one of us is dead. But if you'd like to hear us talk about movies like Die Hard and the Crank Series and Running Man, striking distance. Oh God, we're going to do so many Keanu Raves movies. I'm so excited. Oh, God, you're right. Suddenly I have regret. You're going to love John Wick. Yeah. Yeah, we can absolutely. This is like we literally just plan out the next year of our listen. to the spe. thii. th. to to to to to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. the the the to speed. to speed. to speed. to speed. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah our actually. Listen, we can both do speed and watch speed, and that'll be a special bonus episode. Can you score speed? Do you know a single person from whom to purchase speed? We'll probably. We will do speed for the speed episode, then we'll do crank for the crank episode. Oh, I love that. And then for the Running Man episode, we'll just the running man. For die hard. Oh, I'm gonna die. And that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the that that th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the will will be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. thethe running man. For Die Hard. I'm gonna die.
Starting point is 00:46:25 All right. Yeah, then that will be the end of the main podcast. So actually by not becoming a patron you've killed me. Oh. If A's B and B is C, then A is C, you know I mean? That's a good math. Yeah. Katie. Alan. Thanks for being a part of another episode of World War Vemulence. You're welcome. I really botched that, didn't I? I'm going to jump off the porch. Bye. I'm just trying to help you. Bye.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Bye. Oh. Oh. Oh. Maybe I have been and let the face. Can him in the outer space? Appearance of Basket Case. Please make I continue to crave. E&T.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Marlowe and comedy reviews hungry, Brian from wings and Stephen Kang. E.T. We live deliciously bad tempo treesatures, obese, crazily come today. A paranormal act in duties from Mr. Rogers city. E-M-D. E-M-D.

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