Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 298- Jawbreaker (1999)
Episode Date: September 14, 2020In this week's episode, we're discussing a movie in Katie's wheelhouse that is decidedly not a horror movie, Shudder be damned. It's the 1999 teen film about the horrors of...popularity? It's "Jawbrea...ker." Special topics for your consideration include: the sadness of rewatching a movie of your youth and realizing it's actually not great at all, Tawny Kitaen and how to learn more about her, how the minds of popular kids actually work, the patron saints of this podcast (ex: Judy Greer) and a shocking dearth of references to the band Jawbreaker. Want more Judy Greer? Check out Episode 169- "The Village." More Rose McGowan? Episode 44- "Scream." Rebecca Gayheart? Episode 221- "Urban Legend." Carol Kane?! Episode 30- "Office Killer." Hey, we have a Patreon AND our first action movie episode is already out! Check it out at https://www.patreon.com/werewolfambulance to see what supporting us can do for you. And HEY, we have a merch store! Get yourself a t-shirt, cell phone case, throw pillow and more weird items at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. We're at: facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. on Reddit: r/werewolfambulance werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Alan, Katie, may I set a scene for you?
Please.
Imagine that you look down in your hand.
And there's a crunch bar.
Okay.
the blue, white, red wrapper.
You're like, fuck, yeah, crunch bar.
And then you realize like you haven't eaten since this morning.
Mm-hmm. And there's a crunch bar. then you realize like you haven't eaten since this morning, you're feeling pretty hungry, and you're like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, and th, th, th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, th And then you realize, like, you haven't eaten since this morning,
you're feeling pretty hungry, and you're like, yes, crunch bar.
This is gonna satisfy.
Right.
And then you unwrap the crunch bar, and instead of being a crunch bar, it's a take five.
Okay, okay. No, take fives are terrible. Imagine instead of opening the crunch bar, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, I th, I's a th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi, I's thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the the the the the thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. Imagine instead of opening the crunch bar, it's a dog turd.
Okay, I got you. I got you.
You're so let down, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to My World.
Oh.
Because that's how I feel right now about this movie.
Really?
Yes.
Oh, no.
Want to tell them what we're doing? Uh, jawbreaker?
Aren't we?
From 1999?
Oh, I thought you were literally asking me which movie you talked to the today.
I'm just, I'm, I'm shook.
Are you?
Are you?
You love this movie?
I thought I did.
Mmm.
Then I watched it as a 36-year-old woman and was like, wait. Ah, oh I feel a load coming off of me that I'm not going to be crushing any teen dreams.
Um, I'm not the teen dream. Liz is the teen dream.
I killed Liz. I killed the teen dream.
Jawbreaker. On shudder, inappropriately so. I was like, okay, well, no, no, they're not going
to go in a spree. I thought they were going to go on a spree, maybe. No one else dies. No one else
time. Why is this on shutter? The only gruesome scene takes place, well that's not true. The only death gruesome scene takes place before the opening credits. And that's it's true. And that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the thoooo. they're the only thoooome they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their. their. their their their their the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. I's the the. thea. the. they're they're they're theyue. It's true. And that is rather gruesome. Oh yeah. Although in my memory of it it was much more gruesome than it actually was. Yeah.
But that, what's happening? Suddenly a loud one right? It just got here. We were a special guest of the
podcast and they were loud ass cricket. It's because the sun went down enough.
Yeah. They were like, hey! Hey! Time to clock in. Loud-ass cricket. It's because the sun went down enough.
Yeah.
They were like, hey!
Time to clock in.
Gotta do it a good night's work.
It's a living.
Oh, jawbreaker.
So you picked this.
I did. Because I was like, that's going to be a Katie movie.
Kady gonna love that movie.
And I said to you, I'm not sure that it's a horror movie and you said, it's on Shutter, so here we are, people. Shutter, give us a call, tell us what's up at this movie. Right.
There are some good things to it. Sure. Oh yeah, yeah. You know, I think one of two patron saints of Whirlaf Ambulance. For sure. There's a lot of a horror movie
crossover with this. Rebecca Gayhart. Sure. Urban Legend. Great film,
great film. A surprisingly good film. A horror movie. For sure.
Julie Benz. She is in Buffy. She the vampire show. Okay, the TV show.
The TV show. She, I realized I kind of have her haircut right now. I'm kind of rocking a
Marcy. But you're not like doing the weird like undertuck with an over, yeah, it's like
she had a lot going on. There's a lot. Yeah. And then she had the twists later and then she had those just two ponytails sticking out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p- thail st st st st st stitail thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their thi. their their their thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. te. te. te. tee. teeeeeeeeeeeee. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. I te. I te. I then she had those just two ponytails sticking out of the front of her head, which I also really liked. I feel like those are, I'm trying to do something and my hair
won't stay out of my eyes. Yeah, exactly. And Rose McGowan, of course, Scream. And Carol Kane.
Love Carol Kane. Of the office killer fame. The thing about Carol Kane is that she's great and we've only done movies that she's been in where it's their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their, their, their, th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I I's, th. I's, th. I I I's, th. I I's, th. I I th. I I I's, th. I, th. I, th. I's, th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's just, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm, th. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm that she's great and we've only done movies that she's been in where it's, they're absolutely terrible.
She is still great in those movies and she's great in Jawbrake.
A ray of sunshine.
She's doing the best she can as Ms. Sherwood.
Of course Pam Greer.
What is Pam Greer doing these days?
I don't know.
What don't I see more Pam Greer? I don't, she should be in everything. She's fantastic.
Although calling her detective Vera Cruz is a weird look, don't you think?
There's a lot of first-past names in this movie. Yeah, yeah, all of them actually.
And an upsettingly short cameo from PJ Souls. Where was PJ Souls?
She's Liz Per's mom.
So you just see her walk in the house.
I miss that entirely.
Yeah, yeah.
She is, her husband is William Kat from House.
Oh, that fucking guy.
That fucking guy.
The guy with the super scoop neck.
Or was it a super deep, the, I can't remember? It was a, it was like, it was a, you should have had another shirt on sweater.
Yeah, yeah, all right.
It was like just wearing the vest from your tuxito.
That's such a good look though, like your uncle Jesse or something.
My first notice I'm very excited about this movie.
Fuck, I'm sorry you got that feeling.
Because it didn't pan out for you.
Well, just watched recently for the first time, can't hardly wait.
Uh-huh.
And...
Holds up.
It does?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
When did Kid Rock?
When did Kid Rock? kid rock move to your neighborhood. Dumb, giggity, don't gong.
I was like adult rock.
Oh my god.
That's him blazing best the people on the scoobies.
Oh, you're right.
They're so nervous those people.
Wow.
What a world we've witnessed from up here.
From perch to top for our recording studio on the lawn. High atop. So having just watched Can't Hardly Wait and then we watched Go recently,
which I'd never seen before. Go. I don't know that I've ever seen Go. It's a mid to late 90s,
also vibe movie with like a young Timothy Oliphant. I love him. I do. Yeah. He's a drug dealer and there's lots of drugs
and hip soundtracks. Cool. So not unlike this movie except for the drugs but a
lot of hip soundtracks. Do you love the Donnas though? Oh yeah I got mad
stoked on the Donna showed up at the end. I love that they give them two songs. I love that the Donnas get part of a set. What are they doing? I love they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still they're still still they're still they're still they're still they're still they're still they're still still still still still they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their th th th tho. I tho. I tho. I're tho. I tho tho the the the tho the tho the the the tho their their their they give them two songs. I love that the Donnas get part of a set.
What are they doing?
I love the Donas.
I'm sure they're still playing somewhere.
Yeah.
They do a sick cover, Breaking the Law by Judas Priest.
Yes, I have heard it and it is dope.
Also this movie, the 13 at the Civic Arena.
It was like my first real concert.
Nice.
And I was like, someday I'm going to be in a band.
Nailed it, did it?
Yeah.
Successful band?
I don't know that Verrucassault would be particularly proud of the Maxipads, but like...
I think you did great.
You get what you get what you get what you get what you get in his life. You never wrote your seather, but you, uh...
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
Uh, so, should we talk about this movie?
For sure.
Yeah, this harbor.
I didn't know we could just cut to the end.
So we've got the flawless four.
Right. You got Marcy. Yes. Foxy. Yes. She's basically just the
God what's that Lacey Chaubert character from Mean Girls. She's just the
follower. Yeah this is this movie is very mean girls slash Heather's slash. It's
simply of an ilk. Yeah. Remember that horror movie we did with Lacey
Sabaer though? We're the scarecrow?
The one who thought might be the scarecrow movie that you had seen? It wasn't.
It was so bad. That was a mistake. Horror movie though. Yeah. So you've got the leader, Courtney. You've got... Rosemagown and her tets. Oh yeah. She looks marvelous in this movie. All the way. All of them look great.
Yeah.
Is that a real tattoo?
That pin-up girl on her back?
I hope so.
Oh God, I do too.
I don't want that to be a been faked.
I kind of do because I don't want to think about her having it now.
But, okay.
But of that era, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that naked. Yeah, pretty nakey. Yeah.
I mean, she just had on a see-through dress and a thong, if I remember correctly.
I think you remember correctly.
Oh no, I remember correctly.
Yeah.
I don't know why I had to feel like I had to verify that for you.
Rebecca Gahard is Julie.
Yeah. And then Liz Per rounds out the flawless four.
She's a nobody, I don't think.
I don't think she was in much of anything else.
But she looks very much of this time as well.
Like she could have been a Selma Blair.
For sure, she is very Selma Blair.
She's very beautiful and has zero lines.
Other than I guess the one that's recorded on her greeting card.
So truly these are some shit-ass shit. Oh the worst, the worst of the worst.
They, the three of our, three of the four, kidnap Liz on her birthday. Uh-huh.
Drag her from her bed. Uh-huh. Shove a giant jawbreaker in her mouth, which would be the most uncomfortable thing on earth. Ductape her mouth and toss her in the trunk and drive to a diner. When they th. th. th. th th th the th. their their th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the. the. the the' theck. the their theck. theck. theck. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. theauuuuu theau theau theau theau theau thea. the. diner. Uh-huh. When they get to the diner, they pop the trunk, and Liz is dead.
And shockingly to no one, this woman is dead.
They seem shocked.
The teens seem shogged.
But there is like a good gag of like her having this huge jaw breaker in her throat. It looks pretty cool and you're like, thi thi th, let's do this. It's gross, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love that they're taking her for pancakes, she has no pants on.
That's the joke though, I think.
Then they're like, we're gonna take it for pancakes and then we're gonna tie her to the flagpole. And it's like, well at least they'll they's th sure they're they're they're they're they're they're thak they're they're thake thake they're thi thi they're thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that. that. that. that thi thi thi thi that. thi the the the the her for the her for they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ta ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tha. they're they're tha. they're they're they're tha. they're tha tha tha. Hope she doesn't drink too much coffee. Oh wait, she doesn't. She's dead. She's dead. Courtney's a real piece of shit. Yeah, it's interesting how terrible she is for like no real reason.
Right. We don't see anything to explain it. So as someone who has owned this movie, um, why is Rose McGowan talking like a newsy? Okay, so there are a lot of weird like 50s, 60s references than this. A lot of th. A th. A th. A th. A th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. like 50s, 60s references in this. A lot of her outfits are like, sort of like capri pants and crop tops.
For sure.
And there's a lot of like 60s cars and stuff in this?
Yeah, I was kind of like talking that up to this period of time being like the swingers era.
Maybe, I don't know. I guess a little, a little on the tailterterterterterterterterterterterterterterternough, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a.... A. A. A. th. A. A.a. A. A. A.a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the tail end of that. Because they have the cheerleader friend who's always always wearing her cheerleading outfit,
but it's like a 50s cheerleader outfit, which is like completely out of place in this universe.
Right, right. Is that Tatiana Ali?
Yes, it is Tatiana Ali. Good work.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But she's always like this. She's talking like thin' th. She's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's like, thi. It's like, the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, thi. I's like, thia' thia'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' thi. th talking like this, and she's doing things and doing things, and what's going on kids? She is really not good in this movie.
No, no, no.
Like, there's a couple scenes where she has to get face-to-face with someone while they yell at her,
and she yells back, and like, Rebecca couldn't have been written that way.
It couldn't have been meant to be that way.
And it's like she gets to the end of her lines
and then something in her head goes, smile.
And then she smiles.
Yes, or look left, or left, slash, look right.
Because she'll just move her eyes one way, and then back. Like one of those 90s, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, likeook, because like, she's in Doom Generation, that was like 1996 or something.
I don't know that.
Oh, it's one of those like 90s indie movies that's very, you know, risque and weird.
But she's great in it and she like plays like the Goth version of this character basically.
Yeah. Yeah, doesn't give a fuck about anybody. She's got that face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That face that like when she doesn't give a fuck about you, you're like, well maybe you, maybe you will later.
Why don't I hang out and see if you'll give a fuck about me later? Yeah. I agree. Perfect for a mean girl. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But also the fact that all of the women who are in the, the flawless four are like 26, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, maybe, maybe, maybe, th th th th th th th th th you you you you you you you you you you you you, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, maybe, maybe, thi. Well, th. Well, thi. Well, th. Well, thi, th. Well, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, th. Maybe, the flawless four are like 26, 28.
Rebecca Gahart is fucking 30 in this movie.
Yeah, I mean it shows.
Oh, for sure.
She's clearly not a high school student.
When her mom comes out to hug her, I was like,
how the fuck old is your mom?
They're the same age.
Yes. Yeah, she is just. I mean, she looks, she's beautiful. I'm notthe same age. Yes. Yeah, she is just.
I mean, she looks, she's beautiful.
I'm not insulting her age.
No, not at all.
The difference between 16 and 30 is a double.
That wouldn't be like me playing 22.
Yeah, it wouldn't, it wouldn't.
I would buy that.
And I'm 18.
Is Rose McGowan in her 20s in this also? Yeah she's like 24
25. Oh my god, so she should have been better by now. What you're saying?
What I was saying is we're trying to imply with Doom Generation is that she was.
I don't believe. I don't think I've ever seen her be good in anything. I know people like charmed or whatever. Sure. I thought she was good in fear but that's the other that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. thi thi that's like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee theee the the thi thi thi thi good in, no that's Alyssa Milano.
I thought she was good in fear, but that's the other one.
I thought she was great and who's the boss?
Yeah.
I can't even remember who the third person was uncharmed.
Oh, that would be 90210.
Oh, that would be 920.
Tori, th.
No, she's...
Jenny, Dowerty? No. Tori Spelling. No, she's... Jenny Garth. Her name was Brenda, I think on 90210.
Shannon Doherty?
Yes, thank you.
I only remembered that because of the scene in Mallrats when the guy's looking at the hypno
art trying to figure out what it is.
And he just turns to her and goes, Brenda?
It's really funny. A schooner is a sailboat. That's a great film.
I haven't seen it in a thousand years.
Me either, but I'm sure it's fine.
I'm sure it's aged perfectly. I'm sure there's nothing problematic in it at all.
I'm sure it's just as good as jawbreaker.
No way.
Jawbreaker is...
I fused up.
No, you're not the one who fucked up.
I mean, I guess you could have vetoed it.
It's the thing of realizing how stupid you were in a previous life, you know?
Sure, sure, sure, sure, what you have to do is just double the fuck down on it.
Be like, no way, this movie was fantastic. It's pieces all over again. That's how fights on the internet start. You can't do that that. Sure. Sure. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's th th th th th th th thi thi. That's thi. That's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th thi th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. There are some funny lines in this movie,
for sure, especially of the high school film sort of comedy ilk where like
Courtney says, Liz is dead. Do you know what that means? And Marcy goes, you're a
shoe-in for prom queen? Which is very funny to me. It's also very funny that Courtney has her own marked parking spot in the...
Because there are, I mean, an alternate title of this film is cars pulling into the school
parking lot.
Oh my god.
Why, do you think that after they shot the eighth or ninth one of those, they were
like, we seem to be doing this quite a bit. Or were they like, we're going to need to to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a to need a couple to need a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be doing to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a toa.s.s. toda. toda. toda. today. today. today. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. to more to pan this fucker out? I mean, do you think that maybe they thought we really wouldn't know how they got to the
school?
I mean, you're just gotta, you just gotta see them pull up.
How will we know that they're there if we don't see them pull up? And it's like if you see them in a car and then later they're at the school school, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, they're, they're they, they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the school, the school, the school. the school. the school. the school. their, they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to they're, they're their, their, get out of the car? Show don't tell. What was my favorite line in the movie?
Oh, um, let's see.
I'm looking through all of my notes.
Well, it happens early on.
Oh, I don't know then.
I think they're, oh, they're opening an egg, and one comes out and it's all bloody,
and the gotthe-girls, cool, it's all bloody and the goth girl goes cool it's still born and
then she stirs it with her long fingernail which is very funny. She ruled.
Can I tell you something that I think you probably hated? What's that I have a
note about here that I just saw later in the movie? What's that? When that
incredibly uncomfortable scene where Rose McGowan is making the duty
the popsicle? Yeah. I wrote down here, Alan's gonna hate those boxer shorts.
I hated literally everything about that scene. Why was that? I mean I guess the kink in
that situation, so Rose McGowan's real into kink, that's her thing I guess. Yeah. Seemingly all of the sudden, she's like, no, I'm into kink. And she's in a many kink. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's, yeah, she's, she's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, th th th th th th, those those those those those those those those those those those those th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th those th, th those th, th those th those th those tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin, tho-a' thin, tho-a' tho-a' tho-a'' tho-a'' tho-a' tho' tho' tho' that's her thing, I guess. Yeah. Seemingly all of the sudden, she's like, no, I'm into kink.
Right, and she's ended up many kink.
Yeah, she's trying them all on.
See what kink states.
She's into the concept of kink.
And so she's, I guess the kink is like humiliation. She's like humiliating this jock-flettha-fletch-fletch-fletch-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fli'-fix, th-fix, th-fix, th-fix-fix-fix-fix-fix-fixing-fixing-fix-fix-mk, th-mk, th-mk, thi-mk. thi-mk. thi-m, thin-m, th-m, th-m, th-m, th-m, th-m, th-m, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n, th-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-ki-kinin-wi-kkkkkkkkkkkk-kkk-kk. It's just it it lends nothing to anything. No, and it doesn't go far
enough in any direction. It's not far enough to be funny. Right. Whatever that would be I guess in 1999. You could get way more homophobic. Oh, sure, sure, sure. And it doesn't go into like it doesn't get weird. It's just like he kind of sucks off a popsicle and then she starts blowing him and then gets a phone call or whatever and
you're like, huh, I guess we just want to, okay, I don't know what happened.
And seen.
Yeah.
Why do I have the note acne mask and corn dogs?
That's what the teacher says that they don't understand people who lived in Shakespeare in times? now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now times with now with their acne masks and their corn dogs? Perfect. Pretty funny. So
Carol Kane is Miss Sherwood, who is like the principal or some sort of
administrator. For sure. And there's also Judy Greer as Fern Mayo as Furn Mayo.
First pass. She introduces herself as Fern Mayo as in hold the Mayo
Which is bleak
And it's just basically Judy Greer with a long brown banged wig and no makeup on right right yeah and wearing a card again
Yeah, and you're like oh yes, I guess you're very ugly then so so so ugly
So so ugly So Courtney gets this idea to put the body back in her bed and make it look like she
was raped.
Yeah that's her great way to get out of this because the teen dream it's their worst nightmare
for this to happen to her.
I don't understand how she let, like I don't understand how they get from A to B.
Like it's like in green room when you were like, well you would just pull into the parking lot and turn around and get ready to fuck back.
Like I can't see how this high school girl would be as incredibly mean as she becomes.
Or hold that kind of sway that they would have been like, no, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Right! We go to the hospital now and be like,
oh my god, something terrible happened
when we did a prank and then we surfed up.
Yeah.
But if they did that, you wouldn't get the movie.
Or even, we found her in bed like this.
Anything?
Yeah, because it, oh God, it have the movie. They take her home, hide her, put her in her bedroom and then just split.
Yeah, they pull her legs apart to show that she's been raped. Whoa. And there's a lot of jokes
about like rigor mortis in the scene. Did you like that? Mm-hmm. Yeah, never? They're great jokes. Good, good,work, because part of their ruse was they called the school
as Liz's mom to get her schoolwork to know.
How do they think they're going to get away with that?
Interestingly, they're like, who has the motherly voice and it's Rose McGowan?
I was like, Rebecca Gahart sounds like a 20-year smoker. Let her make the call. She sounds like she's worried about her mortgage.
Let her make the call. I got this notice from the IRS. Are these crows feet?
So basically Courtney takes Fern under her wing and gives her a makeover to make
her popular. She's going to give her the gift of popularity. Right, right.
Were you a popular in high school? I basically was the way I am now, which is
to say a class clown that was like well liked enough, but also got picked on sometimes and didn't
have a whole lot of close friends. Okay. Yeah. I'm just curious. You may find this hard
to believe but I was not a popular in high school.
Um, I for one, I'm shocked.
And two, we've never talked about this before.
But, like, do popular kids know that they're popular and then talk about being popular constantly?
I don't think so.
I think they're just cool and they're cool? Yeah, I would, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't th th th th th don don't, I don't, I don't, I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't tho popular popular popular popular popular popular, I don't tho popular tho popular tho popular, I'm tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho popular tho tho tho th th tho th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho, I don't tho, I don't tho, I don't tho- tho- thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho tho tho think so. I think they're just cool and they live their lives. Right, that's why they're cool. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would, I don't know popular people.
So, to say, for sure.
But by this movie, anyone who is vaguely popular is aware of it at all times and must talk
about it and maintain a level of popularity.
To use it as a currency. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And weaponize it when they need to. And say things like, we've never formally met what with the crude politics of high school and all.
That was pretty great. That's a good line. It really was.
So one thing about this movie is I feel like it did not know what tone it wanted.
Totally. So there's like points where like these hot women will walk by a group of men and one of them will go
Aga, Aga, Aga, Aga, Gug, and you're like, okay, and that sound happens in the movie, and like
like, later somebody does something and goes, oh boy, yep.
And you're just like, oh, okay, it's a sound effect movie.
It's a funny, okay, no,this weird makeover montage that's like a mix of
Edward Scissorhands, Twin Peaks, Greece, and the November rain video?
And you're just like, but why? But why? I feel like referencing the November rain video in this
movie makes a lot of sense. You think? One, I love the November rain video. I think I should have won an Oscar. Two, it's overwrought and doesn't
make any fucking sense. Three, what does it make sense about November rain?
Makes perfect sense to me, except when that guy jumps through the wedding
cake, I don't know why he does that. It's just raining. One slouched through the guitar off the mountain. Because he's th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, the, thrown, throwns, thrown, the, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. Two, thu. Two, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, thu. theeeeeeeean, thu. thu. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe, at the end is Axel Rose painted green like the incredible Hulk and
shaking in a cave? That's a good question. I don't, I can't answer that one. I don't
know. Can you even fathom how many millions of dollars were spent on that
video? Oh my god. Just like what the cocaine budget alone would have been? Oh my god. Oh, what's her name? Who is the woman? Stephanie Seymour? Yes! I thought, man, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a the the the the that's a that's a the the the that's a that's a the the that's a the that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho-s?o-upe? I? I? I's tho? I' tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? th Stephanie... Oh man. Stephanie Seymour? Yes. I thought man that's the dopeest
wedding dress ever. Yes. It's like cut to a mini in the front has a long train in
the back. And that scene where she's in the casket and it's a mirror to like make it
it look like the other half of her time. Very creepy. More of a horror movie than Jawbreaker.
Genuinely, yes. But yes, why put that in the middle of this film? I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, again, tonally they could not figure out what direction they were going in.
And there are a lot of shots in this movie that are from the Dutch angle, which I've learned as it's called, which is like sort of shot from underneath at an angle, so everything
looks kind of like Black Hole Sun video.
But I don't know why.
I don't know why.
So, like, there are a lot of shots that are that way, and there are a lot of shots
that way and there seems to be no differentiating between the two. It's the the rotating hallway and lepricon. Right. Why is this happening right now? It just is. And Starwipe. Starwipe. So we get a lot of
rules from the from the mean girls. Yeah. Sorry the flawless four. Uh-huh. You don't eat
lunch at lunch at lunch. Man I realize no as an adult how much that speech affected me as a teenager? Oh really? Yeah. You didn't eat lunch at lunch? th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And the th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the th. And th. And th. And the the th. And th. And th. And th. And the the the th. And the the the the the th. And th. And the th. And the th. And thi. And thi. And the to. And the the tooooooooooooo. And the too. And the too. And the. And the. And the that speech affected me as a teenager.
Oh really?
Yeah.
You didn't eat lunch at lunch?
Oh, well, I took extra classes, so I didn't.
I didn't have a lunch period.
Anyway, shut up.
That's awesome.
No, it isn't.
Yeah, I think that really made me think about when I'm eating people are thinking about me pooping. I think it just messed me up for a while.
Oh man, that is messed up.
But I do love the, she's like we're not the anorex, we're not anorexic, that's safe for
the Karen Carpenter table and then just moves I'm saying. There's a 60s vibe about this that doesn't make any sense.
Even like in the makeover scene, the grease aspect of it, like it's clearly a reference to the
beauty school dropout scene.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just don't understand why.
I think they were like, we're going to do. It's gonna be heather, sish, and I'm probably just gonna reference
a lot of other things because I don't really wanna write this myself.
Fair, that makes sense.
But yeah, I was like Karen, what?
Karen Carpenter Table?
Karen Carpenter Table.
Sick, anorexia joke.
I thought the fact that they were moving slowly was actually very funny.
Insensitive, yes.
For sure.
For sure.
Yes.
Would you like to hear my fat guy thought about we don't eat lunch during lunch?
What about on Cheese Steak Day?
Cheese the Day?
I went on Cheese Steak Day.
Aw.
They did like shitty Steakems.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah, shit, yeah,
shitty stakums. I figure that's something that should be in the vegetarian market by now,
fake stakems. Is that what Satan is? Yeah, but it's got to be that thin steakam gray meat.
Yeah, just haven't nailed that gray meat yet. Yeah, that's an untapped market. Yeah, if anybody wants to go in with me on fake gums.
I was like, please don't say it before I can say it. If it wasn't COVID time, we would
high five. I know. Also, I have bug spray all over my hand. Just stuck to each other.
So grease. Never send a rose unless dyed black as a warning.
That's a line in this movie.
And I liked it.
So here we meet Detective Vera Cruz.
Yeah, she's on the case.
She's asking questions of our, uh, of our protagonists here.
And slamming a jawbreaker into a metal table? A jawbreaker that is
presumably evidence taken under the throat of a murdered child? Or did she just
like go down to Grandpa Joe's candy stand and buy a big jawbreaker with which
to menace them? All I can ever think about when I see those jawbreakers is a
friend of mine who had a bad candy addiction.
And...
You mean like a legit candy addiction?
Oh, bleh!
Did he ever spawn a TV for candy?
No.
But he would just like eat candy until it was all gone.
Yeah, I feel that.
And he used to get those giant jawbreakers and he would just lick them. Oh, they're real. Oh, I thought that was an invention. Like a l l l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a l like a th. I like a th l like a th l like a th l like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a legit like a th. I like a th. I like a th. I like a th. I like a that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's like a that's like a that's like a that's like a that's like a th. I that's like a th. I th. I th. I that was like a that was like a th. I th. I that was like a th. I th. I th. I th. I thi th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi that. And he used to get those giant jawbreakers and he would just lick them. Oh they're real? Yeah, they're real. Oh I thought that was an invention of this
film and I know a lot about candy. Yeah no those like baseball-sized jawbreakers
are real. What fucking practical purpose could those serve? Just for long licking I guess. they would just be like, oh yeah after a tongue. they're like a try. they're get sharp edges because they're layers upon layers of candy. I don't understand why they
exist. I'm really upset. I mean and this is coming from a person who I'd like you
to tell people what I'm pulling out of my bag right now. I just have a Ziplock
bag full of gobstompers. You want one? No right now. We have a bag of Brocks' all tumnal mix in front of us as well.
I promise never to eat on this show again
and they're just like, fucking those little pumpkin candy corns are like,
eat me.
Your stomach doesn't hurt from drinking white claws yet.
She went out the way she wanted to, eating candy corn,
basically all my teeth just cracked and fell out of my head and
then I immediately went into a diabetic coma and was dead. But you know what?
It felt good on the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pam Greer, criminally underused in this
movie. Yes. I hope she got a good paycheck from it. I would assume so.
This was kind of like the peak of Pam Greer was in the 70s when she was the star of black exploitation films like Foxy Brown and
Coffee.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Good job.
thin.
Yeah, I would like to see that. God she's the Bees knees. But yeah like she's
so she's the detective Vera Cruz. It hurts me to hear her say that. Yeah,
no, because you're like that's not funny. Oh also Pam Greer, sorry to butt in.
No please. Something wicked this way comes the movie. She is the dust witch. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi, the movie. She is the Dust Witch. Okay.
So, when I found that out, I lost my fucking mind.
When is that from?
Uh, like 82 or 83.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
She's the dust witch.
Yeah, but she, her only role is to come in,
yell at these girls, throw jawbreakers at them.
After she slams it on the table. She slams it on the table and then it cuts to like kids on a playground all licking jawbreakers and then there's one like giant jawbreaker
spinning and all the kids have their tongues out which is a really funny
scene but it's also just very like 90s film or something. Sure oh yeah yeah yeah
like this is filmmaking right you know what I mean? This is like the the Lemonheads video where they got kind of serious. Yes. th like th like the th. the th. th. Yes. the th. Yes. th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the th. S the the th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S the. S theee. theeeeee. theeeeeeeeeee. theee. the. the. the. th. the th. th. mean? This is like the the Lemonheads video where they got kind of serious. Yes, exactly. This isn't Mrs. Robinson. This is a little bit
more serious. This is my drug buddy or something.
Ah. But like and all the the girls will call them who are responding to her are just like, no, we didn't do it, no.
Well, Julie seems kind of nervous.
Sure.
But Courtney is just being so confident.
And that's what we're meant to take from it.
And Foxy is just stupid.
Just dumb as the day is long.
I kind of wish I could be dumb as the day as long.
Sure, oh God, it's got to be great. Just dumb as the day is long. I kind of wish I could be dumb as the day as long. Sure.
Oh God, it's got to be great.
She's like she's having a super fun time.
Yeah, yeah.
Meanwhile, they're they're transforming Fern into Violet,
the new student, which is insane
that like Judy Greer is fucking feet tall.
I don't know if she shrunk,
I don't know what happened, but Judy Greer's seven fucking feet tall.
I think it's because everyone she's acting with is five feet tall.
Is that true Rebecca Gahart seems like a giant too? In some of these scenes she looks like
she's stretched herself for an Instagram photo, but she's walking and it's 99. Well, I know that Rose McGowan is tiny. Yeah. I mean she fit through that dog to her. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the's the' the' that that throwne' the' the' thu- she's thu- she's thu- she's thu- she's thu- she's thu- she's thu- she's thu- she's thuie. She's thuie. She's th. She's thuuui. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thr-she's throwneeat thrown thr-she's thr-she's too. She's tooeeau-she's thr-she's thr-she's thu-she's sea' to her in a... Almost. It's true.
But I like this conceit that like Violet just shows up and Fern goes missing and she's
seven feet tall and she appears to be going to classes.
So like how are the teachers not just like, wait?
What?
Is this just an indictment of education in the 90s? I mean, the fact that no one remembers her.
No one remembers her.
Which is totally...
Except for the nurse.
School nurse knows who she is.
That's true.
But otherwise, like, a teacher's going to remember Fern Mayo.
For sure.
Fern Mayo is memorable.
Yeah. Yeah.
Violet. Then she gets the lead in the high school play. Because somehow she is able to just change her mind from being like a real loner to being
like in a week maybe, two weeks?
What is the time span of this film?
I mean, if you're popular, the confidence that comes along with it, let me tell
it from experience.
The confidence that comes along with being popular, You're gonna go, when your abusive friend
signed you up for the school play
because it'll be funny, you're gonna go and give it 100%
110% because you're popular.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, and you're gonna make fun
of everybody else who's already doing the play,
but they're gonna take it because you're popular.
I wish that we could drop in the not-a-surf song right here. Sure. God what a great song. Is Popular still a thing? I feel like popularity is a thing that went out in the 90s. I feel like we owned popular.
Now it's over. I think you're just an influencer now. Oh fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I've got my own
car. I'm an influencer. I'm an influencer. I've got a sponsorship from Fendi. I'm an influencer.
I'm an influencer.
Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper!
God, that's a great song.
Sure, sure.
It's a great record.
She part.
No, I wish.
We're outside.
We're outside. I don't know.
So, meanwhile, there's this like, sea plot of Julie falling in love with Zach of the school
play.
Fuck.
He's a very good high school boy, I think.
I think he's really hanging his hat on being a high school boy.
Having that Kirk Cobain haircut and those bowling shirts.
Like at one point she walks into a room
and he's just been sitting and staring at the floor.
And I thought, is this what people did before they had cell phones?
He's just sitting and staring at the floor.
That's so 90s.
Well, like, bunko stone temple by the play is place. But also, like, how many boys watch watch watch watch watch boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys??? many boys watch this movie and like well I just have to
offer girls rides home and then I'll get a girlfriend? I hope it worked I hope
it worked for them. When I saw you waiting for the bus I knew you were alone
just like me. See that's very high school I'll take that. I'll take that all their their romance. Not at all. But also why would we care about their romance? their. Not a lick. A number of scenes devoted to their romance
that I care not a wit for.
Oh, they go to the drive-in theater that's defunct.
And they just sit there and think thoughts and the make out.
That also seems very 90s.
It does.
Going to someplace that's abandoned and making. on like a billboard and looking at it or something. Yeah. Oh, there is a great bit of dialogue where somebody says time doesn't erase things, people
erase things.
Yeah.
Did you like that?
I did.
I like that piece of dialogue.
A little tasty piece of dialogue.
Delivered by patron saint of where the movie.
So like, but then also inner splice through all of this are just like dream sequences, which are literally just the first half of the movie.
For sure. Like, is it just like, well, now you're caught up, you know?
Again? Why? Why are they doing that? Again, I don't think they want it to write this movie? No.
And just like, Courtney must have no parental oversight? No, none at all. Because she just goes out in like a leather look?
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
To a bar on a school night. Yeah. Picks up Marilyn Manson with a fake mustache.
In my mind, he looked a lot grosser than he did in this movie. Yeah, I know.
Because I saw me and I was like, you're not looking so bad,
Marilyn Manson. Yeah, I mean, he's not bad looking dude when he doesn't have like the weird fake eye in and all that chance.
Yeah. Da da da da da da da da da. Apparently they're sex scene because there's a, he has no dialogue, but there's a sex scene,
but there's a sex scene where we see that they've, that Courtney has shoved her friend's
dead body under the bed and is having sex with Marilyn Manson.
He's making a lot of porn faces.
He really is. He's licking his lips a lot, which I cannot stand to see a person do. Are you LL Cool Jay? Don't lick those lips. Don't fucking lick your lips if you're not.
All right, genuine? You get a pass, you're fine. But, uh, so apparently that sex scene was much
longer and much more in depth, shall we say? And they had to cut it to get down from MC17. Because these two were dating at the time.
So I'm sure they're like, well, let's just fucking film.
Yeah.
Do they marry at one point?
I believe they may have married.
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
Yeah.
Gross. I was never a fan of Mr. Manson. I always tho. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I always th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a. I was a. I was a. I was a. I was a. I was a................................. th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Sure, oh for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa, uh, it's one of those things that like, were I 16 when he hit?
I would have been bout about it.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, that is a 26-year-old, you's like plaids and stripes.
They don't mix.
What the fuck?
I mean, my notes for the rest of the movie are just fucking inscrutable.
Violet on the hood of the car like a tawny Catain kind of thing. For our younger listeners, go watch a white snake.
Yes, just Google video search, a white snake.
I guess that's YouTube.
That would be YouTube, not Google video.
Ask Jeeves to show you a white snake.
Do you like Violet's sports car with a bitch license plate?
Not as much as I like her bitch tank top she's wearing later. Do you like Violet's sports car with a bitch license plate?
Not as much as I like her bitch tank top she's wearing later.
And Courtney calls her a bitch in that scene and I was like, yes, I know she has the shirt
on.
Do you like when Julie confesses everything that happens to her new love of her life boyfriend
you offer me a ride home?
Did she just met like this week?
And he's like, the fuck, why didn't you go to the police? Oh well there's a
Polaroid that we took. Let's go back to the parking lot and not really look for it.
And not find it and have the scene end and have the polar to come back? You mean? It literally never comes back. Well, the camera pans down. the the the the the po. the the po. the the the po. the the the the po. the the the po. the po. the the po. the the the po. the po. the po. the po. the po. the po. the po. the po the po the po the po the po, the po. the polo the pooloi the po polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the polar the pol- is is is is is is is is is is. the pol. the pol. the pol. the pol. the pol. the po. the po. the po. the po. the po. the po. the po. the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the polo the polo the polo the polo the polo the polo the polo the polo the polo the po it in the gutter. Well it's still sitting there nobody finds it. I know it's probably right in front of the broiler joint now.
It's fucking annoying. Why did you have this scene?
Who is Violet? It's Fern Mayo. I really did like the posters everywhere. I like that they were in places that would be impossible for teens to put them?
Absolutely. Like under the awning. I like that they were in places that would be impossible for teens to put them. Absolutely. Like under the awning. I like that she fell unconscious in the hallway and woke
up to rape in those posters. That was very funny to me. Because there's also just like people
mingling in the background. When they were up and she's like a furn and their name name? Zach. I'm sure.
Of course it is.
Yeah, it's the 90s.
When they were up and she's like, a fern.
And then Jule, just like, or a fern wakes up and she's like, uh, and kind of sheds the
poster.
It's like, oh no.
Oh, no. So, Julie remembers that she has this card.
This is the dumbest mechanic in the world and I remember thinking it was clever when
I was 15.
Don't fucking laugh at me like that.
You should see the face he just made at me.
I'm judging 15 year old Katie.
Yeah, well, she wasn't very smart.
I was a bag of hammers at 15, so I'm sure you were doing great.
You were in extra classes. Shut up! Stop talking about it.
Don't tell them.
Embarrassing me.
Mom!
So, she realizes she had this card that can, you can record on it.
And rather than getting a handheld tape recorder, she decides to record Courtney confessing to the murder.
You have this all twisted.
Do I?
Yes, because it happens accidentally.
She had, the card had previously said,
what are you doing to me?
And it was Liz's voice, and Rebecca Gahard kept playing it over and over.
And then while they were having the fight in that room, she must have accidentally recorded it. So when Liz's mom brought over the box full of stuff
for her, she found the card opened it, and then she realized it had picked up Courtney's
confession very conveniently. This would probably be a good point for me to point out
that I kind of stopped paying attention at various points during the movie. I can see that. Because I just keep going, this is what th and th. This is what th. This is what th. This is what th. th. th. th. the the th. the thi, the the the thi, the the the the the th. This is the th. This is the the th. This is the th. This is thi, thi, the the th. This is the th. This is the the th. This is, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, the th. This is th. This is th. This is thi, the. I, the. the. the. the. the. the. thean. thou. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their, the th during the movie. I can see that. Because I just keep going,
well this is what I thought it was going to be. I know. It was exactly what I
thought it was going to be, because I've seen it a Brazilian times. So they've got
this card that's got the murder that was accidentally recorded, the confession.
So their plan is for Zach to hotwire it to the PA system in between Donna's sets?
Dude can solder.
To have some sort of shitty homage to Carrie slash Prom-Night 2.
Correct. You who, Mary Lou?
I then know Zach gonna hack the sound system?
He does. He does.
He does. Oh. So they show up at prom to do this. Yeah. I loveto hack the sound system? He does. He does. He does.
So, they show up at prom to do this.
Yeah.
I love that the Goth girl is having a really nice time at prom.
She's in the back when I'm a lot of shots just dancing and like having a time.
I also like the girl with a in the movie was just to show up and kind of yell, just to talk in like an above average volume of voice.
I was really bummed when the balloons were bouncing around and one hit her in the spiky hair
and it didn't pop and I was like, spiky hair, what are you doing?
Can you talk about how excited I got about those balloons?
First of all balloons?
First of all balloon. once in my life. Sure. But there were balloons inside of balloons. Did you notice that? How the fuck do you do that? They were pregnant with other balloons. That's so cool.
That's so cool. My life is really, really small right now. Our next live show is going
to end in balloons. We're in Hawaii doing our second live show. Dr. Brett, I haven't gotten any
itineraries for me yet, Dr. Brett, I haven't gotten any itineraries from you yet, so.
All right, so he's the thing to the PA, I guess. The Donna stopped playing, which is unfortunate.
They should have kept going.
Also, it occurs to me that he need not have done that if he could have just gotten a microphone plugged into that PA.
What now? Because the Donna's had some that they didn't use for backing vocals and it made me really happy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're like, well, we're not going to be on here for long.
It's fine.
But they are.
They are on there for a really long time.
Like, I feel like someone in the Donnas was cousins with someone who made this movie.
Well, they were at peak Donnas at this point in time, I believe. For sure, but the amount of screen time that they're getting is insane.
They were the only band that agreed to it.
Maybe.
This felt very Buffy the Vampire Slayer because they would always have like,
Chibomato playing at the local like dance club.
Cool.
So, to the Donna's show up.
to anyone, Courtney is aed queen. However, there's a lot of suspense before they announce her name.
Long pauses.
Yeah, her hair looks exquisitely stupid also.
The shoelace wrapped around it?
Why?
She looks like a shit-ass next generation extra.
Like you go down to a plan and you're like, oh,
instead of having forehead ridges, all of these people tie their shoelaces around their heads.
Oh, and they played the recording over the PA system and then everyone's mad at her.
Yeah. That's everyone's reaction to it.
I like that your spiky-haired girl screams, that bitch!
It's in slow mo, which is very funny.
And the one dude, it just gets real close to the camera and goes,
fuck you!
And then it that's Rebecca Gahart and she's mouthing, eat shit.
That was great. That was the highlight of the film.
I imagined myself in some sort of power move,
someday mouthing eat shit to someone, and thenthen I thought it's not something you can really mouth. No. Did you see what I just did
there? Could you tell what I was saying? Cheese shit? You have to go to the
bathroom? Yeah. And they're all throwing their corsages at her. That's funny. It's funny. I also like that that photo ends up in the yearbook at the end of the film.
You know, the murderer. Yeah, being pelted with corsages after being outed as a murderer.
This whole scene reminded me of a website that I wanted to start called Slowmo Crowdshots.
Which was just going to be like people in the crowd doing dumb or embarrassing things and just putting it in super slowmo. Sure. I never got around to it.
Well, there's still time.
We still have that angel fire sight.
That's true.
Slomo crowdshots.com.
Submit yours here.
And that's jawbreaker.
Katie.
they-hawake.
Kady.
Kady.
the.
to. horrible. It's not good. It's terrible. Good gugally moogly. If I had never seen
this movie before and I watched it for this I'd be like, is it a joke? Mm-hmm.
But I do love those weird scenes. Like I love those kids looking that jawbreaker,
but I think it's just because I like Soundgarden. Do you think? I think that's part of it for sure? I have to say I that's part of it's part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part part that that that's part that that's part that's part that's part th. I'm that's part th. I'm that's part of th. I'm th. I'm that's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to get to get to get to get. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to get. I to get. I to get. I to get. I to get. I to get. I to get. I to get. I to get. I. I to get. I. I to get. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to to the to the to the the to the the to the to the the to to the to to to the to to the to to to the the to the to the two, it's terrible. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no.
Yeah, for criminally under using PJ Souls,
and Pam Greer, this movie gets two.
Yeah, I think you're 100% right on that.
I mean.
Like right now the song Everybody Hurts is playing in my head, because I hate to have things,
you know, nostalgia is such a toxic influence isn't it? For sure. A toxic emotion that you like
hmm. You might want to hold on to all those thoughts until next week's movie. Do you want to tell them what we're doing next week? Oh why don't we give some shout-outs to our friends who are Patriot. That's a good idea so that people have to listen to to their their their their their to their their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their to their. their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toxic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. I. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Patrioners? That's a good idea so that people have to listen to this part to
get to find out what we're doing next week. Yeah, you're smart. Shout up them
Patrones. All right, so I'd like to thank a couple patrons. If you have not
heard from me or heard back from me, you will I tell everyone about everything in my life, I'll get to it. Sure. I think we have to instate something called a pandemic pause. Yeah. We just like give everyone a chance to have a pandemic pause.
Yeah. But in the meantime, let's say some patroans. I love it. William from Seattle, thank you.
William does short movie review blurbs on letterbox, Twitter and Instagram as Wicca-BURr. That'sR-R- go check out William from Seattle's work. Long-time supporter of the podcast,
thank you, William. Oh, this one has us role-playing a bit. Okay.
Okay, so I'm gonna say my line and then you're gonna read the thing I just sent you,
and I want you to mimic the voice that I'm doing, okay? Okay. Ready? the the hi? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I, I I I I I I I I I'm! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm th! I'm to I'm to to say, I'm to say to say to say I'm to say I'm to say I'm to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi thi-I-I-I-I-I-a-a-s-a-s-s-a-s-s-s-a-s-s-s-see-s-shi-s-see-see-s-see-s. I'm the thing I just sent you and I want you to mimic the voice that I'm doing, okay?
Ready? High ground.
They'll be devil to pay.
Thank you so much, Hedges from Ottawa.
He wanted one of us to say hi ground and the other to say, there'll be devil to pay.
That's a civil war shit.
Our best Sam Elliott impressions from Gettysburg. Oh well then I would have gone, little bit, devil, he says it real fast. I mean I only know this because
Robin Hedges say this to each other all the time. It's like their call-in
response. It's adorable but also super annoying if you spend any length of time with them. Hedges, it's not that annoying. Thank you so much to the, to the, to the, to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. H. H. the their. their. their. their. H. the. the. the. the. the. H. the. the. the. the. the. H. to. to. H. I. to. I. I. I. to beautiful human beings, let's thank Justine from Pittsburgh, who is an IRL friend of mine and I feel like if you
don't know Justine, then she's the kind of person that you're missing out on.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Thank you, Justine. Thank you, Justine. And we also like to thank Amy from Chihwila, Washington, who told me how to pronounce both Amy and Chihuahua. Can I get a quick spelling on Chihuahua?
Yeah, it's CHE W-E-L-A-H.
Ooh, would have not done that one, right?
I'll tell you what though, I would have gotten Amy, right?
Oh, nailed it.
It's spelled A-M-I-E, to be fair. And I'd also like to everyone is vote all in caps. So smart.
Please do that. Yes. That's it for this week. Thank you everyone. Thank you so much
for supporting us on Patreon. If you would like to become a Patrion if we if you
will. You can do that at three, five or ten dollars. Either way you'll get a
shout-out on our podcast if people still say shout-out something I wish I hadn't. Who no he's doing the Arseninoio theirs th-a-a-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o tho tho tho tho th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. th-o th-o th. th. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-I-I's-I's-I-wee if people still say shout-out, something I wish I hadn't. Whoop, whoop, whoop.
Oh, no, he's doing the Arsenio Hall.
Do you guys know what that is?
Now he's wagging the finger at me.
You can listen to our action movie podcast, of which we have now one episode,
Die Hard, and we will be doing another episode we're going to record next. Term th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-I thi-I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, thi. the. the. the. thea. thea. to-a. thea. to-a. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. th on it. That's right, you did, and thank you. But a large majority, I think Terminator, it was not close.
Yeah, point break is like a few bunch of votes behind. A buncha. You'll have that. Bad boys too, did not, did not do very well at all. I was a little bummed. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure, I'm sure. I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure we'll th. I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure we'll th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm I'm I'm a th. I'm I'm I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. I thi th. I thi. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, become a member of the Warhol Famulance Kids Club and we're going to get the cards out. We're just pandemic pause, assholes. Not assholes.
No one said anything about it. No, no one has complained about anything. You people
are the best. We love you. You know we're good for it. And I also want to throw it out there. I know that in the in the diehard episode we got there a lot faster that I thought you were going to than I prepared to get a tattoo.
When would you be comfortable getting a wear-of-ambulance tattoo? Well, I definitely I'm not super comfortable getting a pandemic tattoo? Oh, no, no, no. I don't mean, I don't mean when would you get it? But, how far do we th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. the. When the. When thi thi. When that tho tho to to thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu th. When th. When th. When th. When th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. When the the thea? that that that that that to to that to to thateau. I thateau. I thateau. I thateau. When I'll probably do it at 100, but I'm just saying
You really don't have to. That's a big commitment. Because like what if someday I just blow this whole thing up and then you feel real bad about it?
I got band tattoos, it's fine. Yeah, it's true. I got band tattoos were bands that broke up before or after, right sure, for sure. Do you want to get like half of our logo and I'll get the other half?
And then we put our like our arms together, it makes a full logo?
Yes.
Friends statues?
On our, on our, on our, on our, from the sides of our hands, so when we high five,
it makes the full wherwale. Perfect. That'll be super good. that that tha. tha.! A-N-B-U-L-A-N-C-E.
Throw a thumb in there, thumb in there to be fine.
Ambulant, yeah, you're right.
Well, no, I'll just, um, I'll just, yeah, I'll, I'll, you throw we're going to do a very current film. I feel
that you just stepped in so I wouldn't do it. Look it's the horror movie
everybody's talking about. Alan's so mad right now. I'm not. I have a I have. I was gonna say I have a lot of thoughts, but I have thought.
You have an ah thought that you're gonna say in an angry voice. Not at all. We'll get Missy out here to do that.
She, ooh, she had some feels.
Owens sleeping on the couch. After watching, I'm thinking of ending things. The Netflix original. Um, starting some wonderful people.
Starting honestly some wonderful people.
Yeah.
Uh, watch it.
Or don't.
It's fine if you don't.
Yeah.
Or do you.
I don't think there's any possible way we'll be able to spoil this movie.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm going to spoil it. Oh, I'm going to ruin it, yeah. Well, we can ruin it for sure. I mean, that's the plan.
So come back next week, we're going to talk about
I'm thinking of ending things.
Netflix.
When are we going to get that Netflix money?
I don't know.
I don't know. I figured we'll have to get that shutter money first, and then we'll get that that that that that that that that that that that that that thinking of ending things on Netflix. And I am not okay with teenage bounty hunters.
Did you watch, have you watched teenage bounty hunters?
What? It is so good.
What is it?
It's a Netflix original television program.
Oh, sorry, I'm working my way through Cobra Kai right now.
How is that?
I heard it's great.
I really enjoy teenage bounty hunters, I got to say, I thought it was very charming. I'm 80% sure you're making this show up right now. I do love that Netflix just calls things
by what they are. It's like a TV show. Could not even try. Some kids doing things, enjoy. Yeah, and you're like, wait that's the title? Cobra guy I guess. Whatever. thinnene. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thea. ttau. ttau. tode. th. thi. th. toda. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. toda. I'm. I'm toda. I'm. I'm toda. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm toda. I'm. I'm. I'm toda. I'm toda. I'm toda. I'm t's the title. Cobra guy, I guess. Whatever, go ahead.
Watch it.
Johnny Lawrence.
Teenage bounty hunters, though.
Yeah, I'll check it out.
All right.
And if you don't like it, don't blame me.
Thanks to listening to another episode of Whirlfamuance.
Bye.
Bye. Mani today's a tape of his face.
Noobey's a today's at the pool.
No way to wait for him let's keep on film reviews.
Killing clouds and le let the face.
Can him in out of space?
A piece.
A piece, please make a kid in your grave.
E&T.
A moral comedy reviews hungry, Brian from wings and Stephen Kang.
E.T.
We live deliciously bad tempo trees, obese, crazily contendousy,
obese, crazily contendum.
A paranormal act in tidies from Mr. Rogers city.
EFT, EFT.