Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 300- 300 (2007)

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

In this week's episode, EPISODE THREE HUNDRED, can you even believe it?, we are discussing the obvious choice for one's tricentennial: the 2007 film "300." No, it's not a horror movie. Yes, it's a gim...micky choice. No, those abs aren't real. Other special topics for your consideration include: stabbing, a startling lack of planning by the God King and also by the regular King, building a giant pit to nowhere, more stabbing and a hearty reminder to tell your loved ones that they are your loved ones. Hey guys, thanks for being with us through 300 episodes and here's to 300 more. We love you. Gerard Butler has been in a surprising number of horror movies and we've done exactly zero of them, though I was absolutely convinced he was the lead in "Midnight Meat Train." Turns out that's Bradley Cooper?! Whatever. You can listen to it anyway, it's Episode 150, which is exactly one half our podcast ago!   Hey, we have a Patreon AND our second action movie episode will be out this week-- "Terminator"! Check it out at https://www.patreon.com/werewolfambulance to see what supporting us can do for you. And HEY, we have a merch store! Get yourself or someone you love a t-shirt, cell phone case, throw pillow and more weird items at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. We're at: facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. on Reddit: r/werewolfambulance werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is where wolf ambulance. Yes, number 300. This is wherewolf ambulance. Yes, number 300. Can you believe we've done 299 plus one episodes? I cannot. I can't believe you bought an alcohol funny car down here to make noises. As soon as we record, someone's like, whoa, they're doing it. 300! Wow, what do they do for this one?
Starting point is 00:00:38 What are we doing? We're doing the movie 300 for our 300th episode. My first note says, I can't believe I just rented 300. Oh man, this movie, huh? Yeah, it's a movie. Undeniably. It took me like a while to realize it wasn't Russell Crow. Oh my god, 100%. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:06 It's just like, it's shirtless Gladiator. Yeah. And Gladiator, my friends is a terrible film. Oh, I love that bad movie. More or less than 300. Oh, more. I would definitely rather watch Russell Crow in, are you not entertained? I'm gonna pick 300 over Gladiator. Sure. Yeah. Can I tell you about my real-life 300 spotting yesterday? Sure. I'm driving home. I'm in
Starting point is 00:01:32 Shadyside. A guy runs up next to my car at a stoplight, stops, turns to me, he's shirtless, and has the most perfect set of abs I've ever seen on a human me. Tell me what time was this and where was he running so that I I I I I I I I I I I to. to. to. to. to. to. to be to be to be to be to be to go go go. to be the to go. the to go go. to go. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeeole. to the. the. the. the. the. ever seen on a human being. Tell me what time was this and where was he running so that I can perhaps find myself there. Oh, about 4.45 over by the church and Chadyside. There's a lot of them. You have to be more specific. Damn it, Alan. But he was so well chiseled that when I saw him and like full on it just went, ah. Yeah. I haven't laughed at how fit he was. I mean, it's comedic. Like, I started this movie and thought, well, at least there would be a lot of like hot shirts on and basically wearing underpants. And then I was like, what is this? Why did they look like that?
Starting point is 00:02:17 No one looks, they're at? How did anyone think that was okay? I don't know. It was 2006. It wasn't the 1990s. For sure. What the hell? Yeah, yeah. A lot of thigh lights?
Starting point is 00:02:30 A lot of thigh lights? Yeah, thighlights of this film. Because they didn't bother CGIing their legs. Oh, man. Yeah, Zach Snyder loves the to It just was so gratuitous. And you could tell they were really trying to make it work by having like the abs ripple when they were breathing and stuff and it looked horrible. It points it looked like a flag unfurling in the wind, you know? That was just Michael Fastbender's
Starting point is 00:02:57 wiener. Yeah, he's a long-haired guy that keeps jumping over everyone. Michael Fastbender's wiener. the thi th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, th-like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, thi, the the the th, the the th, the the the the the the th, th, th, the the th, th, th, the th, the the th, th, the the the the th. And, th. And, the th. And, thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thiiiiiiiii. th th thiiii. th thii. thi. thi. thi. ther. Is Michael Fastbender in this film? Yeah, he's a long-haired guy that keeps jumping over everyone. The dad of the guy, of the kid? No. I keep asking, I keep asking Alan if everyone's the dad of the kid. No, he's one of the people that every time he talks about dying, he starts smiling. Oh, okay. What, what be called like toxic masculinity at work, right? It's so fucking bad. I also like the title of 300, fuck the alt-right. It's so like NRA propaganda without guns or something.
Starting point is 00:03:37 It's so ridiculous. Yeah, it's a, this is a movie. I mean, a child is struck in the face at the beginning of this movie and it's by the heroes of the film. You know? I just was like, I didn't feel like watching a child be hit tonight. You know, it's not been a great week. Well, it's written by this comic book artist named Frank Miller. Okay. And he is very much into that side of the political realm. Very much into that like toxic masculinity and you know this is what men do and these are the ultimate men doing men stuff. In a non-ironic way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that this is based on a graphic novel? Yeah. I do really like the animated parts of it. Sure. There's a lot of visuals in this that I think are really great. Yeah, Zach Snyder is really good at that stealing scenes directly from comic book pages and putting them up on the screen.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Cool. He mimicked very well the vibe of that comic book. Yeah, and just even like that animated animated animated animated animated animated animated animated animated animated animated animated animated that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that comic book. Yeah, and just even like that that animated wolf at the beginning, sure. I loved it. I thought it was great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it takes it completely into the realm of fantasy. Yeah, it's just the stylized aesthetic that is very like pleasurable to watch for sure. Until it's on someone's the front of someone's body, I think. I you feel that about movies that are clearly shot on like a soundstage? You're like this isn't Tokyo. I do but in like this like it's the same thing I have with like Practical versus CGI like when I know
Starting point is 00:05:19 that it's like when I watch a Godzilla movie and I'm just like this is the best. Yeah I'm so happy this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. th. th. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. the th. th.'m just like this is the best. Yeah I'm so happy this is fake and they're all crushing tiny cars. Yes. But for some reason as soon as it's been like it's ones and zeros I'm like hmm I don't know. Yeah I can see that. It's just old man yells at clouds like a resistance to the change. Yeah for sure but a lot of this movie does look really cool. Absolutely. If you like th like abs. Or if you like fake abs. Or victorals. What is happening? He looks like there was a wrestler in the WWF at the time called Giant Gonzalez who wore he was a giant man, you know a person who had, I forget what it's called, um, oh like, yeah, yeah. Giantism. Yeah. And he wore, like, yeah, yeah, giantism.
Starting point is 00:06:05 And he wore this like head to toe suit. Oh, that's right, he wore the body suit. The body suit that was, yeah. It had like fake pecks and abs and then it also had fake fur on it, which is really funny. But I was like, everyone in this movie is giant Gonzales. They're all going to come in and just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their their the top rope instead of ducking under it. See I assume they all just got redonculously ripped. I mean I think obviously these men are in great shape and you can tell from their thighs which are not digitally altered. Yeah I think
Starting point is 00:06:32 yeah I think they just went in and like shadowed everything to give everything depth and like... It looks so silly. Yeah I can't stop saying it. It's absurd. So this film follows King Leonidas from his childhood of being just sent away as all Spartan boys are to become a soldier or to die. Either or. Which is kind of an interesting concept because it's like what if you never go to war? You know what do you do then with your life? You just know that you're still the best. I guess. What are you thi thi? Yeah? What are you doing for a living? I guess? What's the the the th you the the th to to to to to to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their childhood. their their their their childhood. their their their their their their their their their their their you never go to war? You know, what do you do then with your life? You just know that you're still the best. I guess. What are you doing for a living, you know?
Starting point is 00:07:11 Well as you know from later on in this movie, they're all just soldiers. I mean, everybody needs somebody to fight a war for them, right? I guess so, yeah. So you get the Spartans Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spart Spartes Spart, Spart, Spart, Spart, Spart, Spart, th sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, that thi, that that that that that that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi, thi, baby skulls. It does, it does, you know. How are you doing, Eugenics? You doing all right? These are our heroes, huh? And then also the baby that they show for King Leonidas, who is deemed to be an appropriate baby. Sure.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Yeah. It's a very silly looking little kid too. And then when they have the little kid at the end that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.a.a. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the little kid too. And then when they have the little kid at the end that's his son, I was like, is that the same actor? Is it? Did they think? That no one would notice? No one would notice? No, that we would just be like, wow, they look very similar.
Starting point is 00:07:55 They're the thiii. thiii. Greek? Yeah. Yeah. No, there's a lot of British men on the screen. It's a lot of British fellas. Speaking of British men. So we get into the adventure by a man with a covering over one eye telling a story around a campfire of like bravery and, you know, he's the narrator of our tale. Dillios, I believe his name is? Yes, because I kept thinking, what's a did? Dillio. My phone kept their name. th. Dili. Dili. Dil-I I I I I I th. Dili. Dili. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. Di. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I thi thi th. So th. So th. So the the the the the the the the the the the th. So we th. So we the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So we th. So we th. So we th. So we th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. I th. th. th. th. th. We the. We get the. We get the. We get thee. We get thee. We get the. We get the. We get the. We get the. We get the, dilio? My phone kept auto-correcting two Dildos every time I put his name in. And immediately I was like, why the fuck isn't this Sean Bean? It is Sean Bean's brother. Is it? It's Aeomere. It's in the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's the guy who plays Aomere. It's Boramir. It's boar. It's the the brother the the the the the the the th-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-I's brorome-I's broor's broor-I. th-I. th-I. Who's Aeomere? It's Boremear's brother. He's the one who goes back to he's dead and his father thinks he's dead and lights himself on fire and jumps
Starting point is 00:08:49 off of Minus Tirith. And the return of the king. Spoiler alert for return of the king. I mean if you haven't seen that movie and you've been intending to you I don't know what you're doing. You've got four hours to waste. Honestly, there's no fucking reason that isn't Sean Bean. For sure. Yeah. For sure. There's no reason that all of these people aren't Sean Bean. It's true. When did the Lord of the Rings movies come out?
Starting point is 00:09:15 Uh, what, 2001? I think the first one came out? Okay, so he wasn't even working doing something else where he had to wear a suit of armor and he was doing black death probably. I hope it was a black death, yeah. Because this movie was much more successful. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. This movie made a butt-billard, dollars.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Yerd or Gerald. Hi, I'm a question. Hearard. Who is Gerard Butler and not Russell Crow? Gerard or Gerald? Now I'm a question. Gerard. Gerard. He has baby bangs as all good Greeks do. And a rat tail as all good weirdos do. That tight, tight pony.
Starting point is 00:09:56 I could not figure that thing out. His hair was inexplicable. Sure. It was just like, oh no, make them look like one of them statues. Which one? Any of them? It's a statue. No, not like Abraham Lincoln. Wrong statue. Their whole thing is that they have to hold off the Persian invasion. Right. And it's being led by a man named... May have never written it down. Zerxes. Zerxes. Yes, Zerxes is. Yes, I want to watch Zerksies movie. Yes, I want to see him come to power. Do you know who Zerxes is? No I don't. He ties in to a patron saint. Who? Who? Of our podcast. One, Laura Linnie. Yes. I want to see him come to thi th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th He ties in to a patron saint of our podcast. One Laura Linnie. Okay. That is Rodrigo Santoro. God what a great fucking name. You might remember him as the
Starting point is 00:10:53 guy that she almost but doesn't have sex with in love actually. I did not know that. Oh yeah, Keith or whatever. God she should have fucked him though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He looks amazing. He does. All of the costuming in this movie is actually really amazing. Yeah, especially for the Persians. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:13 It's just underwear for everybody else. Well, yes. I was thinking specifically of when they're fighting off the waves of Persians later, and they all have different costumes because they're different tribes and I was like, it's the Warriors! I love this movie! Yeah, I love all the the heralds too that are all just obviously representing different tribes as well. Like it's really, yeah. And this is supposedly based in history. Sure. Yeah. Even though I was reading about it and like about how much of history Frank Miller got wrong and then the movie got wrong and then the movie got wrong.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Yeah. I don't really know the story for all of my Greek mythology knowledge, but. Yeah, it's just that the Spartans were part of a huge army that fought off the Persians and inevitably lost to them. But later the Persians were routed out of Greece. So we meet Leonidas and his lady wife. Yeah, who is that Queen Gorgo. Is that her name? They never say it.
Starting point is 00:12:14 I don't. That's probably for the best. Yeah. Gorgo. She's Circe from a Game of Thrones. Yeah. Gorgo. She's insanely beautiful in this movie. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ths. Yeah. Gorgo. She is much too beautiful to be named Gorgo. She's insanely beautiful in this movie. She's gorgeous. And she's already like well into her 30s too.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Yeah. She's just like a person who is just agelessly beautiful, which is kind of unfair. I'm just sick of people being more beautiful than me. Oh! Uh-oh! Why is this the last gasp of mosquitoes? Are they just like, it's almost done dogs. I know it's fall already, but let me just get this one in. They live on your porch, in your porch only.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I don't have any standing water out here. Are you sure? You don't have a little pond under this table? So we meet Gorko and Leonidas. And the rest of the Spartan clan, like, what is Dominic, Theoron? Yeah, he's so smug. He's so smug and he's got that like shities, new metal facial hair with like the points
Starting point is 00:13:18 around his goatee going up into his mouth. And what is he in this movie? He's a politician. He's seemingly the only young politician. He's a politician. He's seemingly the only young politician. All the other politicians are old men. Right, I was surprised he got a spot on the counts. Yeah. Yeah. I guess, whatever. There's a lot, speaking of new metal, quite a bit of it in this film. It's like a little aggravating. Do you have the note, I bet Danzig was sad when that wolf died? No, I don't, Alan.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Tell me about Danzig's feelings. He loves wolf. Does he? Does he? I forgot. Do you think Danzig saw this movie? You think he liked it? Yeah. Those guys are real tough guys.
Starting point is 00:14:01 From now on, instead of giving movies a numeric rating for ourselves, we should jointly decide what we think that Glenn Danzig would have rated it. Oh my god. You know his movies available on Shutter Now. You keep saying things about his movie. You're hinting at it. I want you to say you want to watch it because I don't want to be the one that says Katie you should watch this. Have you watched it? No I okay if you haven't watched it yet I cannot be expected to. It looks obeisable. Yeah I would expect nothing
Starting point is 00:14:32 less. So while they're hanging out talking about Spartan stuff like going into battle and just like being so fucking ready to die and so ripped. Yeah. Yeah you don't need to be that ripped to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to that that to that to to that that to to that to that that to that to that to to that to to that to to that to to be that that that to be to be that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. the the the the the thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. I thi. I that thi. I that that thi. I that the. I the. I the. I the. I thi. I thi. I to be to be to be thi. I to be th fucking ready to die and so ripped. Yeah, got to do a lot of push-ups so I could die later Yeah, yeah, you don't need to be that ripped to just die Did you ever have you ever known anyone that's like that ripped? I mean like from the gym But not in my social life. Okay. I've I've known people like socially that are that ripped? Yeah, and they are the least wanting to do thi. I'm? the the the the least thin. the least thin. the least thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that's that's that's that that that that that that that that thrip. that that that that that that that rip. that that that that thr. that thr. toe. toe. to to to to to the. to do things that aren't involving them lifting weights people I've ever known. Right. It's like, hey, can you help me with this couch? Ah, bro. What if I tear a... Yeah. Why do you have those? Why do you have all those muscles if you're not going to help lift a thing? If you're not going to help to lift a thing. If you're not going to pick up the. thii. their tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, thi, their, tho, thr- their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, thr-s, to. try, try, tha. try, tha. try, tha. tha. try, tha. tha. tha. their, their, their, their, true. If you want to have abs, you've got to make some decisions, and those decisions are inevitably going to end with no fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Yeah. That's why I like my friends that got into power lifting because they're like, fuck I can get chubby, but I can still do this shit. That's right. Power lifting is a cool. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. ...... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. Yeah. that. that. that. that. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Just if you're going to have all those things, help me lift this couch. Help Alan lift this couch, please.
Starting point is 00:15:47 How many of our listeners do you think our bodybuilders? Half. Forums. tobo-bo-building. Post it. Please don't. So eventually, a emissary shows up. Yes. And he's wearing the most beautiful eyeineriner. toee. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe........................ We. We. We. We. I. We. I. We. I. We're. toe. I.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e..e.................. to like bend a knee. Everything's cool.
Starting point is 00:16:05 We're good. And he's wearing the most beautiful eyeliner and jewelry. I just love his look. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I love the dudes who like have the face coverings that are just like behind him the whole time, just like hanging out. Yeah, yeah, but they're like tiny guys. they're like they, thin, thin, thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. Yeah, th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're like tiny guys, so they're not like supermenacing, they're just like, yeah, we kind of look like a like desert foot clan from the menterms.
Starting point is 00:16:28 I love that. And Leonidas decides that rather than agreeing to something, it's better to kick a man into the town hall. What is this? The pit to nowhere in the town square. Like, that is such a fulc-a liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability, that is such a f li liability liability liability liability liability liability liability liability, that is such a fucking liability. Are there no elderly people in Sparta who might accidentally tumble into this? Did you notice that it was bricked all the way down? Yes, they fashioned it and they like, someone, how far down to the bricks go?
Starting point is 00:16:54 How did they get the masons? Oh my god. They just threw them down there, like if you want to come back out, you must brick your way. and th, and. To be clear, it's a giant pit. It's the size of a man-made lake, I guess. Why is it so big? Why do they need a railing around that thing? Honestly, it is so unsafe. Maybe that's part of being a Spartan boy's, like, don't fall in the pit.
Starting point is 00:17:21 We call it the Whops aduzzi pit. Sorry but why? It's so silly. Why would you kick that man down that hole? Why would that hole exist? Why and why? So now it's on, right, they're gonna go to war? Did you notice that what he, right before he kicks the guy down the hole? And before he says, there's, swallow. He turned to his wife and she was like, do it? Do it? Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it? Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it? Do it? Do it? Do it? Do it? Do it? Do it? Do it? Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do, do. Do, do. Do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do. Do, do, do, do, do it kicks the guy down the hole and before he says, this is, swallow! He turned to his wife and she was like, do it. Yes, that bee! She has this like, that actress, when Lena Hedy, she has the most beautiful, I am a bitch and I will order your death face. She's just fucking perfect.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Sour, sour face. Yeah. Yeah. Also, all of the clothes she's wearing in this movie are barely a clothes. Yeah, they're phenomenal. It's like cover the nips and let's make a scene. They feel, they all, all of her dresses and stuff felt like late 90s early 2000s MTV Awards dresses. Christine. Christine Aguilera is wearing Queen Gorgo this season. Pittsburgh's own, Christine Aguilera. Smelled like hotdogs. I have to say it in case other people haven't heard those other episodes. In case 300 is your first episode we're listening to. I just want to get in, well you know I think they'reto have honed their craft by 300.
Starting point is 00:18:46 One would think, and yet... We're hung up on a big hole. Yeah. Why, though? Okay. So, so in order to go to war, Leunitis has to consult the oracle first. Well, wait. before he can do that. But you're referring to Athenians as boy lovers. Oh did he? I missed that. Oh boy. When I was reading up with this movie, some historian was like,
Starting point is 00:19:11 actually a pedistrary was part of the Spartan training thing. So like- I'm certain it is, based on what's happening to that poor Oracle. So yeah, he has to go see the Oracle first, he has to meet with the F-4s, who are the inbred Sisty men. I did not understand what they were? They're like the pre-Oracles. They're the men who give the drugs to the beautiful women before they rape them. But how do they become? They are in a long line of incesty peep.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I don't know. I mean. And he says something to Leonidas like, your blasphemies have caused enough trouble for the E4s. And I was like, but how and why? Are you gonna tell me? Are you just gonna like brush that under the rug? Blas-aughes. What? What? On what? What? What? Yeah? I was like, what? Yeah. I don't. Tho. that's. I was, the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. the. to. to. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. L. to. to. L. to. t. L. t. t. t. to. to. to. L. to. to. to. to. to. t. to. the. the. the. the.. Yeah, until. Well, and then I was like, ah, this dress code is leaving something to be desired for me because it's just not even, that's not even a clothes. Why is she tits out? I didn't really. You know. I did like the way it looked with her, like the actress is obviously underwater, but then they've taken her out of underwater. Yeah, when the the the the the the the they've the the they've the they've then then the. the. the. the. the. the, thi's thi's thi's thi's the, the, the, theat's just the, that's theat, theat, the. the, the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. That's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, theat, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that becomes much less of a good gig to be an Oracle.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yeah, when she has to get licked by the Grosso? Ugh. Ugh. And she says no to going to war, basically. Yeah. Because there's a festival of some god coming up. Right, right, right. And Leonidas is like, first, like, why do you even ask, you know what you were going to do? This is spotter. You know what you're right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thi. And thi. And thi. And the thi. And the the th. And, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. And, you know? You knew what you were gonna do. This is Sparta, you know what you're gonna do? Right. So then he also takes it to like the town council. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, actually, no, you gotta listen to the oracles.
Starting point is 00:20:54 And he being like, hey man, what's up? Here's a bag of gold. Have a great day. Don't forget to be a trader. Yeah. I loved the coins falling, though. I thought that was a cool animation.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Yeah, well. So, Leodonitis is like actually the army, so it's not actually going to war. Right. And then it's like, well, why 300? Like how many bodyguards can you have? Could you have 27,000? I don't, yeah, I don't know. You know? I mean. I guess he had to leave some people behind. Yeah, a lot. Yeah, thi. thirty. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. think that's in the bylaws that 300 is where an army begins? 301, I mean? I mean, maybe 300 is your personal bodyguard? Maybe, yeah, maybe. It was so in the bylaws. It's, uh, but-
Starting point is 00:21:55 But this is, wait, this is before the very graphic sex seen with him and Cersei. And I was like, yeah, I know how thi th th th th th th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thus thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, th. th. th, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, how sex works. Yeah, they're totally doing the butt stuff, right? I don't, I mean, it might just have been doggy style. I don't know. There was a lot of grimacing going on from both ends. It was very weird. I've been thinking about this joke that I've wanted to work in for a while about, like Pittsburghers doing a doggy style so they can both watch it the game. I've never figured out how to work it into this podcast so I'm just gonna leave it there okay. You guys put that joke together I gave you the
Starting point is 00:22:29 constituent parts. You got this. It's a joke it's just out of context. It came with Ikea directions. It was a joke but it's together self-assembly. There's an Allen wrench tape to it and you're like I guess I'll figure it out. And it's just giggling- their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm together. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's t. I's t. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I'm. S. I'm. I'm. S. I'm. S. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I and you're like, I guess I'll figure it out. And it's just giggling. Their sexy was absurd. I was uncomfortable. But it was mercifully short. Was it?
Starting point is 00:22:57 I covered my eyes. I, there was a point. Like, oh, this is never going to end. And then it ended. I was like, oh my god, this is never going to end. And then it ended, I was like, oh, thank you. Small favors. It did like when Cercy wakes up and she looks over and it's just two moons, one of them being Gerard Butler's butt. Yeah, I liked that.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Gerard Butler, never mind, I'm not going to, I'm going to do it in. This movie is just pure objectification of men. I realize I objectify men a lot on this podcast, which is not great, but... Yeah, but you had stated early on that you were going to do it because women have to do with that shit all the time, so... That's like, you know. I back, I back you up. All right, fine. Gerard Butler. that's like, thrard Butler. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. thi. I thi. I th. th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. I. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th just to be like one fat Spartan. Just one. Not a single one. Guys, I'm going to stay back here and guard the Ho-Hose in case anything goes down.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Or like even a scrawny Spartan, because not everybody can put on muscle like that. It's true. Just a guy with a little beer gut or anything. Yeah. It was absurd. It was absurd. Yeah. And this is when like the narrator kicks back in. And I was like, oh, I forgot about you because you've been gone for like 30 minutes at this point. Every time the narrator kicks in, I'm like, oh, why, I can just tell me a story without this, you know. Do you think that all British people assume that in all prehistory, everyone spoke in British English?
Starting point is 00:24:30 I mean, to his credit, well, to his credit, their Butler's accent does keep changing. And, but I feel like everyone is talking like this, the entire time, like, just super over-annoconery just super over enunciating everything I don't know what they thought they were going for it's confusing they're just like projecting strength like Derek Smalls in a spinal tap never mind So they gotta go to the hot gates. That's a funny name.
Starting point is 00:25:07 So we're supposed to like, the introduction to Leonidas is that he's sort of crafty, right? That he like has figured out a way to get around the council and the oracle. He's found a way to basically choke off the Persian advance so that they have to come through like a narrow pass and they can just get them in the pass. And he wants to cause so much bloodshed that they just turned back because it's not worth. Right, that they can't ever get enough people through basically. So you're like, oh he's crafty. But then everything after that, he's like, he's kind of stupid. He's just like blindly doing whatever. It's like not strategic at all. For sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Like when uh, effolates, who? The guy with the kid? No, the guy with all of the birth to fix. Yes, okay. When he shows up and he's like, hey, uh, I want to fight with you guys. And just to let you know, there's a goat path right there that they're going to come through and they'll flanked. Yeah. that they're gonna come through and they'll flank you. Yeah. And Leonidas was like, hey man, sorry you can't fight with us because you should have been thrown off the cliff. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Because eugenics. And I'm just gonna ignore that for now. Yeah, you were told about it in Act 1. What did you think of his makeup? It was so silly. Oh, fuck. My Harry. I, th. I, th. th. th fuck, my Harry Potter knowledge is so bad, but there's the one character who has the fake eye that's like constantly revolving and this guy had that as well.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Mad eye moody. That's the one. Yep. It was so silly. But he's also just gallum, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like why, at one point he like puts his hand on a tree and his fingers are 43 inches long on
Starting point is 00:26:46 one hand and I was like, why? What's that one? I don't know. I mean, I understand that again he's going for comic books, supposed to be very exaggerated, very silly, but it was like, it turns out that the guy who actually turned on them and did the whole goat bath thing was a perfectly able-bodied human being. Sure. But, well why didn't he get to fight with them then? I don't know. Who cares?
Starting point is 00:27:08 So, you know, they're screaming in the rain to New Metal. Talking about freedom. Oh, God. I feel like this movie is just the internet. Yeah. I need freedom's just another word for is just the internet. I need freedom. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Janice Chaplin. Thank you. So they're also being joined by the Arcadians. Yeah, the working class. And I just kept thinking like, it must be so annoying for the Arcadians to be neighbors with Sparta. They're like we're trying to build a civilization here and you guys put a pit to nowhere, you know? You're always screaming, you're always throwing babies over this cliff like, can we just make bread? The new middle is so loud that you guys are always listening to. Do you need to sword fight all night because it's very clankky?? oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Do to. Do to. Do to to to to to to to the to the the to the to the their. Doe. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do to to to to to to to to to th. Do you. Do. Do to to to to. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.. I. I. I.. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. And. I th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.. I th. I th. I th. Do you need to sword fight all night because it's very clanky? Oh my god so much stabbing. Yes I also like that they were like pretty
Starting point is 00:28:10 ripped. They weren't like insane but they were like pretty ripped guys in movies not CGI fucking Ken dolls I don't know. I'm a pot. What kind of pot are you doing with those muscles, sir? You know, you got to throw a pot with all of your might. I throw a pot. Yeah. I'm a potter and also a bodybuilder. So the first way we see them repel the advance is a wall that they've used dead guys for mortar in? It looks great. It does. Doesn't make a lot of sense. No.
Starting point is 00:28:47 No. Yeah. And we get more like emissaries showing up and them being dicks to them. Yeah, basically. You think they'd stop sending emissaries at some point? I love that Xerxes is the king of kings, a god king on earth, and when he shows up and they're like, no, and he's like, hmm, but I want it. He has no plan in case they say no.
Starting point is 00:29:13 So they see the Persian fleet when they get to the past. It's how many ships, Alan? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, 64 billion? Yes. And there there there's there's there's there's there's there's the the there's the the there's the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, the the, the, thi thi thi, thex, thozys thozys. And thozys. And thozys. And thozys. And thozys. And thozyzyzyzyzys. And thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi th is thi thi th is thi thi thi thi thi. And thi. And thi. And thi, thi, thi, the is the is the is the is thoee soa. And thoeea. And theea. And thea. And thea. And thea. say? I don't know, 64 billion? Yes. And then there's a storm that sinks three of them, I think, it looked like, and they were like, done and done. Yeah, what? The Persians not know how to build chips. I don't, hey, it seemed like they were wicker. But that's where they got the bodies to build the wall, or to put the mortar in the wall. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:45 But there's still a butt billion Persians there to fight them. Like how many days does this take place over? Oh, I have no idea. Because they're doing a lot of physical labor in a very quick amount of time. With seemingly no food with them. No one has rations. No one has a bag. th has a pocket for sure. Okay, that brings up a point. Yeah. So at one point, they're all walking around and no one's got a helmet on, and then they go to fight and everyone puts a helmet on. Where were those helmets?
Starting point is 00:30:11 Don't know. They don't have any bags with them? You're wearing underpants. You're wearing underwear. Imagine walking around with a metal helmet in your undies. Where are you going to put the plume? Because they have plumes. Well, it's perfectly crack-shaped. Just hold it right in the... Right in your bump.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I have the note here is the soundtrack by Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Would have been better. Is Trans-Siberian Orchestra covering the music of Limpizkit or something? And then we meet the guy from Pontypool. We flash back to Sparta and the guy who is working with Queen Gorgo is the cowboy dude from Pontypool. Oh, I didn't recognize him. He was wearing like sunglasses and a hat. In my mind he's Richard Petty in that movie, but I don't think that's true.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Is he? Kind of? Okay yeah. Because when I close my eyes and think Ponty Pool I just see Richard Petty with his like hat sunglasses and Bolo tie sitting behind a radio microphone. Take off the sunglasses and you've nailed it. Okay. He's got like the scruffy goate and mustache and yeah yeah yeah. Yeah can't take off the sunglasses. I don't even know what Richard Petty's face looks like. There's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. I th when he takes up the sunglasses. A pit to nowhere. So then there's like a big battle sequence. Although I really loved, there's like a slow mo sloat scene of Gerard Butler just murdering a bunch of people. I loved it. Did you? In my notes I called it a fantastic thigh light of this movie. Yeah, they were doing the thing where he'd like slow-mo go up and just when the knife, the sword's about to go into someone's gut, speed up real quick. I liked it.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Yeah. But then they do it a thousand more times. You know what? And no point did it strike me as too much. I was enjoying that significantly more than listening to them talk to one another. I have the note how much stabbing can one person take. Apparently a lot. Apparently. But also those Spartan shields are like MVP's. For these golden gloves. For sure. For sure. Golden gloves. No, it's gold gloves. Vizzy. This podcast brought to you by Vizzy. I should have brought more honestly because I'm almost done and we're not even halfway through this
Starting point is 00:32:25 Yeah, there's fighting they're stab in and they're always winning they didn't lose anybody on the first day You know you do not see a single Spartan die until the very end of the film. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. No, because there's a lot of Persians they're fighting in like major handy hand combat. Yeah, it's they's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. There's they's they. There's there's there's there's there's their's they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they'rethemselves with their shields and the Persians like run into them? I was like, that's a weird fighting style. That's what people used to do though. I know, it's just insane. I did like the, so we see in exchange with Michael Fastbender and one of the emissaries where the guys like, we're going to block out the sun with arrows. I loved that. And Michael Fast Ben is is is is is like, th is like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, the, they, they, thi, they, tho, tho, they, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I their, I they. I, I, I they. I, I, I, I they. I they. I, I they. I they, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi. I's, thin, thi. I'm just, thi. I'm just just, thi. I thi. I thi, thi. I th Yeah. I've been waiting to die. Can you please? It's just like, dog, are you okay? Yeah, like you need to see a psychiatrist. It's fine if you're willing to die for your country.
Starting point is 00:33:10 That's called service. Sure. But it's not fine to be like, please kill me in the name of my country. I don't know. I'm waiting for someone to they do. They darken the skine sky with arrows and it's dope. But that's not for a while, right? Oh, I thought that that would happen pretty early on. Oh, did it? Oh, maybe it happens again later, because
Starting point is 00:33:35 it happens just to... Yeah, it happens at the end when they again darkened the sky. And then, they're like, oh, woops, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the sky's the sky the sky the sky the sky the sky the sky the sky, the sky, the sky, the sky, the sky the sky the sky the sky the sky, the sky the sky the sky the sky, the sky, the sky the sky, the sky the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th s sky's thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho tho thick thick thick thick thick thick thick thick thick thi thick tha tha a doozy. Yeah, good thing they had the shield wall. So, although that was really a thing that they did apparently. I know this from the TV show, Deadliest Warrior, which you can't find on the internet anywhere anymore. Oh no, it's so fun. Yeah, for sure. It's a show, if you've never seen it, about these nerdy dudes testing out weapons on like gel humans. I saw one that was Shaka Zulu versus somebody who had a claymore sword. Oh cool. And it was like who will be more deadly with Shagazuolo he would have definitely killed you. The Spartans I remember lost
Starting point is 00:34:20 their fight because they didn't have like enough friends to make the shield wall that it all depended on like teamwork. And so once they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were the the they were they. they were they. they. they. they. they. We were they. We were they. We were they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah................... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I their. I their. I t. I te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the. the. the. fight because they didn't have like enough friends to make the shield wall that it all depended on like teamwork. Sure. And so once they were down to a few, they went down easy. Yeah. It makes the murder dream work. Yeah, I have a note here that says I feel like I can't get behind horse deaths as I used to. Oh yeah, now that you're a horse. Yeah, guys if you didn't watch the horse, thoom horse, thoom horse, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they they they they they tho, they tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, they the, they they they're they're they're theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. More than touched. Oh I liked that horse. I'm like ashamed of myself. For liking the horse? Yeah. He was really nice. You let yourself down. So fucking scary though. We had to go through a horse hallway. Oh my god. You were so, I was so lamenting the fact that it was a pandemic because I just wanted to hug my friend because she was so scared. I was so scared. Well, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. I th. I th. I to like, I to to to to to to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I to to hug my friend because she was so scared. I was so scared. Well I didn't like I should never have gone down that horse hallway. Yeah, yeah, that was on Missy. She took you down the horse hallway. Yeah. She was like, oh just come in here and I was like, because that's how Missy talks.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Oh, hey, hey, I'm Missy. That's horrible. That's not sound like that. The horses were all on either side of the hallway. Yeah. They're all real nice butts. No, they are not. She was just walking around giving apples to everybody. Oh God, Missy, not everyone's your friend. Every horse is though. Eah!
Starting point is 00:35:35 Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, we've had ginger snaps to a horse and they have weird leather Watch the video here the loudest grass-eating animal on earth. Why is it so much louder than our dialogue? Oh well. This is where we first meet Zyrksees. He's on this huge litter being carried by like thousands of Persians, which is very cool but also very wasteful of their energy. And it's solid gold so it would
Starting point is 00:36:06 weigh so fucking much. It's insane to think that people were carrying it. I mean like to be fair it's the size of a city block. Yeah. But it's great too because like he needs to walk down from this the dais or whatever he's being carried on and he like has to step down on men that bend over and make stairs for him. I like that a lot. And he's 27 feet tall. I loved that. Why is he so tall? I don't know but I liked it. I thought it was very menacing. I liked that Gerard Butler had to keep looking up at him because you can tell he's a giant. Yeah. But there was one scene where Zerxes is X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X there was one the the there was one the the the the the the the the the the the the the hex. But hex. But hex. But hex, hex, hex, he's he's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. And he is he. And he is he. And he is he. And he is he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's he's he's th. He's th. He's th. He's 27. He's 27. He's 27, he's 27, he's 27, he's he's 27. He's he's he's can like see the outline of the green screen around his hands. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:36:48 It was cool. Yeah, he looked so weird and cool and like but some of the people he just has like just has random like Captain Lou El Bano cheek piercings and stuff. He looked like a fan of the band Paramour. He looked like My Space Circa 06. Yeah. He had some fierce eyebrows though. Yes, yes. His brows were, say it. On flea? That's what you like to say.
Starting point is 00:37:21 I feel like even I haven't said that in a minute. No, that's gone, huh? Yeah, it's, but the whole thing of like, the juxtaposition between his appearance and the Spartans and like this like weird like feminization of the Persians is just like, yeah. What are we doing here, buddies? Like, what's this shit? I mean... It's weird, because he seems to be one of the only ones like that. The rest of them just look like, you know, because he has like his eyebrows blocked off and then has like very
Starting point is 00:37:54 arched eyebrows drawn on. But that's not the same for most of like all the emissaries. Yeah, they look like Mr. T. Or Razor Ramon. Everyone in this movie is some wrestler, except for gold dust. Gold dust does not make an appearance. Actually, Xerxes and Gerxes have a lot in common. Because they push that like gold dust feminine, uncomfortable storyline for a long time. I wish you could just go on, Zerxes! Now that I think about it, Zerxes is absolutely gold dust. So more murdering happens. Gerard Butler's like, yeah, I'm not going to bend the knee, I'm not doing it. You're going to have to fight me or stuff. A lot of my notes lead me to believe that this movie is almost entirely fighting sequences. It's like sword in the bicep, eyeball stab, decapitation!
Starting point is 00:38:49 Everything that can be stabbed is stabbed in this movie. There's so many stabings. I wish we'd counted. We should have done a stab count. Oh, we're gonna stab rhinocerces. We're gonna stab. We're gonna stab. Yeah. I don't think you could get a rhinoceros to do your bidding anyway. No, I don't think so. Yeah, an elephant, yes the rhinoceros now. No, I was bummed when the elephants got run off the side of the cliff. I'm like man, they're just elephants out here doing their thing. Out here following orders. Yeah. Yeah, definitely like more animals die. Yeah, the the the animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Animals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah, the animals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the in the first two acts of this film. For sure. I did love the guys that show up and they're like the wizards with the shrapnel bombs. Yes, the magic guys. Yeah, that was great. Was there a dinosaur in this movie?
Starting point is 00:39:33 I don't think so. Maybe I thought the rhinoceros was a dinosaur. Are you with your medicine on this? But I just look like that they were like throwing what looked like like cartoon anarchist bombs, like just round bombs, and then like they hit and all the Spartans are pulling shards of metal out of their legs. I was like, oh that's dope and gross. It made me think of Greek fire from D&D. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Yeah. There's a spell in 5th edition called Xerxes Fire, actually maybe it's in second edition. I can't remember because I've been playing in both Xerxes Fire, which is a fire spell for Wizards. I wonder. I just want to tell you. Thank you. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:40:15 For that information. Sure. Tasha's hideous laughter. Yeah. Leaman's Tiny Hut. Should we just talk about D&D instead? Floating disc. Is that a frisbee?
Starting point is 00:40:29 No, it's a thing that you can carry stuff on and it just kind of floats off the ground? I have never had a floating disc in the game. That's so cool. More of a bag of holding kind of girl. Sure, for sure. Just don't put anything alive in there. No, they'll they So there's there's whole running thing with the father who you like to bring up is he the father?
Starting point is 00:40:52 Right, the father of the son. Yeah. The son is like he looks like a baby. Sure. It looks like a baby Keanu Reeves. Definitely he looks like from Bill and Ted like that era Keana Reeves. With all the muscles that have ever existed. Yes, he is also extremely buff, but you can tell the actor is not that buff, you know? He's just... Like, all of the men who were brought on this 300 were told have sons to carry on their name, so it's okay if they die. And Leonidas says to dad. What's dad's name? Oh, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Dad. He's the only father in this movie. He says to dad, but that's your son. And he's like, oh, I've got others. Yeah. What? And also, like, he's so fucking sad when his kid dies. Because like, of course you'd be. Sure. Why did you bring him? For hubris, I guess? It's just like, it's also just like a
Starting point is 00:41:47 I should have said I'm proud of you son. Yeah. And didn't it? It's just like, I don't know. I can't with this. Well, there's the whole thing too of like earlier in the movie like we get, uh, Dillios comes in when a when Gorgos says goodbye to Leonidas and Dilios is like, he should have said he loved. to. to. to. to. to. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's. It's, it's. It's, it's, it's, it's. It's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's th. It's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's th. It's like, it's to Leonitis and Dilius is like, he should have said he loved her, but he didn't because he couldn't, because men are manly and do manly things. Yes, that's when the narration kicked back in and I was like, who is talking? Oh yeah, Dillios. So Dillios loses an eye and gets sent back. Right, because he's the one who can
Starting point is 00:42:26 tell the stories the best because we see him throughout the movie telling stories. You got tales to tell. Tales to tell. I have the note that Thuron is a dickess because he goes to Gorgo and it's like hey I can make it happen for you in the parliament or whatever. Boom you know we just got to uh... gorgo and it's like hey I can make it happen for you in the parliament or whatever but you know we just got a lot and then he uh rapes her yep not great and says you will not enjoy this I'm like thanks movie yeah you're doing great movie my note says sorry I was checking the box score while Cersei was talking to that guy and then I wrote oh come on because I like looked away and looked back and it was happening and it's just
Starting point is 00:43:07 like, come on movie. Just go back to stabbing each other. Yeah. This movie is a good argument for telling people you love them often. Yeah, yeah like the dad says to Leonidas, he's like, I have filled my heart with hate. And Leonidas nods like, well, yes, that's one way to do it. Good, good, good. Yes, okay. Fuck you. You're a dad, too, you know. But we see him fighting his son at one point, like teaching his son at a fight.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Right. But not getting, he had, yeah. Because we had seen him getting trained by to to to to to to to to to get to get to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be heed heed heed by heed by heed by heed by heed by heed by heed by heed by heined by his father in the beginning. Yeah. For tonight we dine in hell. To which I wrote, lol-l-lul-l-lul-l-lul-l-lul. Is this before, after he said, If you want our weapons, come take them from our cold, dead hands. I missed that. He doesn't say that. He says come and get them. Which is a rallying cry for the gun movement in America. Yeah, I know. Yeah. What are you gonna fucking do? Keep doing what you can do? Yeah, making funnies on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah. We can't talk about this or I will lose my goddamn mind. Let's keep up the funnies. So I like when when Aphilides, Ephelides shows back up and he's got a cool uniform. He was like I just want to bang these ladies and get a uniform and the guy's like you got him my man. Zerxes is the guy I'm speaking of. It's like all that just to just to bone down on some titties you know. Just bone down on some titties. Yeah. I also like we go and see where like where where Zerxes hangs out like with his crew his posse. It looks like a strip club. It's a strip club, but there's just like weird like amputees there and stuff. Like later when we see the executioner, he's a man who's had his hands removed and replaced with like crab claw axes.
Starting point is 00:45:18 What is going on? These are Xerxie's crew I guess. And then I was like, are these just all the people who have betrayed their own kind to like, advance Serxie's agenda? Zerksi's agenda? I don't know. And also, were they all going to be thrown off cliffs too? Like, what is this storyline?
Starting point is 00:45:37 And all the dudes that are wearing masks and when they take their masks off. their their masks off their masks off their monsters underneath. Yeah. I was like, oh, how's that xenophobia ban on 4300? It's not great. It's not great. So we see FLID as he comes back and he's talking to Leonidas and he's like, just give up. Just say you'll do the things and everything will be fine. And uh... Because he's told them about the goat path. Yes, yeah. And, um, Leonitis is like his ultimate bust is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's the. It's thi. It's not the. It's not the. It's not thi. It's not the. It's not th. It's th. It's told them about the goat path. Yes, yeah. And, um, Leonidas is like, his ultimate bust is, may you live forever. That's fucked. Yeah, live forever and just like bone down on some ditties the whole time. You know?
Starting point is 00:46:15 His life seems like significantly better now than it was at the beginning of the film. For sure. People are hanging out with them. Oh, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi. And, thi. And, thi. And. Yeah. Oh man, it's so weird. I stopped taking notes at this point. Oh, did you? Yeah, I just gave up. Well, there's a lot more stabbing. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:33 And then there's the big final battle. Yes. There's also the whole back of the court, Parliament, whatever the fuck they call it, when Circe is like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th, th th, thus, thus, the fuck they call it, when, um, Cercy is like, hey, let's go back up my husband because he's the king and you guys are being dicks. And they're all like, I don't know, and then fucking shit-fags like, she's an adulterer. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:46:57 And then she tries to have sex with them, but he would never do that. Fucking dick. And then she... And then she stabs him and hits him right in the coin purse. Yeah. Because a bunch of coins fall out of him, like it's burger time or whatever. Yeah, they fall out. So he couldn't have gotten him that badly. But it is bad enough to kill him as she says, you will not enjoy this. This will not be quick or whatever. Which was cool. It tha. tho. someone with a beautiful beauty mark. God she rocks that beauty mark. It's a very beautiful woman. It's unfair that she's so beautiful. Don't you think? I'm fine
Starting point is 00:47:33 with it. Someone's gonna do it right? Well yes but it's not me is it? I think you're very beautiful. Shut up! Well I do! So when he sends Dillios back, he's like, hey, take this shark tooth necklace back to my wife. Yeah, so she had given him the shark tooth at the beginning of the film. Was that a tooth from the wolf that he killed, I assume? Well, why did she have it? Because he gave it to her when they started dating, he was like, to, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to. She's like, I'm pinned now. Obviously, I mean, she's all in for Leonidas. She's just like, hey, ruin everything, kick that man into the giant trash bit. She's all in for it. But she's also pulling strings is the thing where a woman, she can stand on her own. She's the good lady queen. So yes, so he, I guess that's meant to show us that he knows he's going to die, because he sends it back with Delios.
Starting point is 00:48:25 And that he loves her. But he never said it. No, he doesn't have to. He kind of do though, you should probably tell people you love them. It's true. We're all going to die. It's specific. Yeah, it's how I think I'll probably die. Oh no. Yeah. I'm getting very dark in this one, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:48:51 It's okay. This is a very dark movie. Yeah. So she gives the shark to his son. Oh, who is also at the same child? I'm sure. Who is at the beginning of the film? My next note is long boring speech. Who gives it? Leonitis. Oh, okay. And that's the one. I think that's the one we died in hell or I'll see you in hell or. Okay. Don't you fear no evil. Um.
Starting point is 00:49:13 I got a barren speech is. I got a lot of open mouth running is my last note. Such an inefficient way to run. Oh no, the long boring speech is is Dillios telling everyone that like that first they met 300 and now they meet 10,000. Yes, because he's leading the army. Yeah. When it pans out we see that he's leading the army. Then there's a lot of open mouth running. But that is after Leonidas is death, which is by being shot at least a thousand million times before he goes down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Arrows, they, you know, can you imagine how much that fucking hurts? No, I can't. I literally cannot. Especially in the gut. You know what I mean? Yeah. No. But earlier in this movie somebody gets stabbed in the bicep and just keep swinging their sword around and I was like oh no if you put something through your like bicep muscle your arm is fucking useless how come when I cut my thumb I know spend the next hour with it over my head going to try and the's not gonna use that thumb again for like at least a week my thumb is still numb from when I solicited I definitely did nerd damage it well it did both I damaged you know the the the the the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the you you you the you you the you you the you you the th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I the I'm the I'm the a te a te a teeeeee a teeeeeeeeeeeee a tee a thee a the a thumb I'm the I the I the I damage. I think it's a nerd damage. Well, it did both. I damaged a nerd. You know why, Alan? Because you're a Delawareian. You are not a Spartan. And I've never heard you go,
Starting point is 00:50:31 this is Delaware. My high school mascots were Vikings, so... Close enough. Like every third high school in America we were Vikings. Spartans are a big one and Trojans. Yeah. Yep, yep. Everything that sounds like a condom wrapper. My high school was the Rams. Just silly and cool.
Starting point is 00:50:57 The babies. The Bayfield babies? The Bayfield babies, yeah. Yeah. One of those is saved by the bell and the other one is not. Bayside, that's saved by the bell. Yeah. Katie.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Alan. Would you like to give a rating to 300? I mean, sure. Or do you want to just tell me what Danzig would have to do both. Okay. Okay. And Danzig, I think he's going to give it a seven. I think he's going to find some things to critique, but I think overall, on the whole, he's going to enjoy it. He would probably want more practical blood. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's certainly, there's a lack of that.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Sure. cool makeup dead bodies because they're all CGI. Like there's a point in which the Spartans build a wall out of dead guys. Yeah. Which is insane because they, like that is so much energy that it would take to do that. And then they just push it over on the emissary. They don't even get any of the guys with them. Like you've wasted all of that. I mean, they're just the ultimate fighting dicks of Greece. Yeah. I mean, this movie is toxic masculinity in person, you know.
Starting point is 00:52:14 But I have to be honest. Oh, oh. I enjoyed it. I had a fun time watching this movie. It's long, but I felt it moved quickly. I thought all the choreography of the fight scenes was excellent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the stylized aesthetic. Yeah. It's a bad movie. Yeah. It's dumb. Yeah. You could probably watch it on mute and have a better time. I'd give it a six and a half. Oh nice. Yeah. Wow. 300! The first time I watched this movie was with the riff tracks for it.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Oh, that would be so fun. It would be, except they went down some weird homophobic things like they do every once in a while. Yeah, they did that in Roadhouse too and I was like, this is not enjoyable. Yeah, like when Xerxes shows up, they kind of went off the deep end and I was like, Oh, that's a bummer. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to to to toe. toe. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. they kind of went off the deep end and I was like oh yeah so this was much more enjoyable watching it without the riff tracks okay it's still a terrible movie and I don't like that it's been adopted by ding donongs to like further their ding dong to talk masculinity bullshit wait ding dungs are using this as a rallying cry sure yeah I didn't know that okay fine five and a half I think this is a movie this is a this is a this is a this is a th th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I was a thi thi thi thus tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I was like th. I was th th. I was on th. Yeah. I was on th. Yeah. I was th. Yeah. I was th. I was th. th. th. Yeah. It's what's what's what's what's what's what's what th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. It's what th. It's what th. It's what th. It's what th. It's what th. It's what th. It. It's what th. It. It's what th. It's what the the the the the th. It's the th. I was th. I was what th. I was th. I was what th. I was what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's, th. I was, th. I was like. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And Don of the Dead is his highest rated movie.
Starting point is 00:53:45 And then this movie is a little bit lower, and then his movies just keep going down in the response from people. It was pretty great. Have we done any other Zaxman? I mean, that's the only one. What else has he made? Sucker punch?
Starting point is 00:53:58 Which is not a good movie? He did the Batman and Superman movie. He did the Watchman movie, not the TV show on HBO. I was going to say I thought people really liked that. The TV show is great, but the movie is not. Okay. He just... How does he keep falling into this shit? I think Michael Bay still makes movies and made all those terrible transformer movies and all that stuff. I thought people liked those. Yeah, I think th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I tho. I tho. I thought people liked those. Yeah, I think they do, they're not good. That's fair. They make money though, huh? I mean, this movie made a ton of money.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Yeah, I don't think it's terrible. No. If I had seen in the theater, I wouldn't have been like, well, that was a waste of my money. For sure. . It's where we're at. It's the perfect movie for a 300th episode. 300 I cannot believe it. I never had an ending for any of this so like of course we'd get to 300 but also we got to
Starting point is 00:54:57 fucking 300. We are coming up on our six-year anniversary. We're about to start our seventh year of Warewolf Ambulance. What is it, October 24th, I think, is our anniversary. 2014 we started. Holy shit. I know. I know. One of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. Oh, so much fun.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And apparently other people are to watch 300. Sorry if you're mad 300 wasn't a horror a horror movie. After whatever we did last week, but also it wasn't a horror movie. A week before that, that wasn't a horror movie? What did we do before that? Shawbreaker. Oh yeah, man, we should do a horror movie next week. But let's thank our Patron's. But let's think our Patron's to thank some of the patrons who have supported us on our Patreon.
Starting point is 00:55:45 First, we've got Miles Monroe from Braddock. Oh, thank you, Miles. Thank you, Miles. Thank you. Victoria, aka Cambria's Colex from Portland, Oregon. A long-time supporter, and always great supporter of the show. She's in Portland, Oregon. I hope you're doing all right up there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Hoey. See, here we go, see, see, see, see, see, see, th go go go go all right up there. Yeah. Yeah. Hoey. See, here we go. I just like got, my face just got like five inches closer to the table. Ryan Johnson, a theater arts critic from Austin, Texas, who says to us, thank you for being a panacea in the midst of these troubling times. To everyone else, I'm missing theater dearly so please wear your damn masks so I can finally get out to see Hadestown. I don't either, but I'm very into this message. And I hope that Ryan gets to see it soon. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:32 We've got Mike M from Florida. M as in murder party, I is in I know who killed me. K is in Kang, like Stephen. E as in Event Horizon, and M is in Midsummer. Big fan of that. I'd like to thank Joe Elwell from New Jersey. Okay. And I'd like to think Kaylee from the Down River Michigan area. No idea what that means. What is that? I don't know. See Michigan people are weird about where they live in the state, like upper peninsula. Yeah, where on the mitten. Yeah, but I've never heard of down river. Yeah, sounds a relaxing. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. never heard of Down River. Yeah, it sounds nice. I like it. Yeah, yeah, sounds relaxing. Kaylee, you're not weird. I didn't mean that. I met all everyone in Michigan is weird. Not you specifically. But this spring she graduated from the University of Michigan. Congratulations, Kayley. And her side passion related to her academic work was analyzing the final girl trop in horror. Oh, nice. Oh, thi. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I the. I. Okay one more. Oh please. Do I have enough to do one more? Yes I do.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I'd also like to finally thank Joanne Spotswood from Alabama who sent us pictures of her dogs Abby and Violet who is known as Chunky. They were really cute. Did you look at them? I did. Good. Oh, Chunky. Hey, thank you so much for supporting us. You guys are amazing. It's so sweet. If you'd like to support us, you can go to Patreon and dot com back slash world ambulance and see what we've got there for you. Mostly it's action movies, but there's also a kids club that we're uh... We're working on it. We're working on it. And if you don't want like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the us, you don't have the money to support us, you don't care to send us your money, fine. Yeah, you still get these free episodes. Literally don't give a shit. You just won't get to hear our thoughts on
Starting point is 00:58:10 Die Hard or the Terminator. And like honestly you can live without it. But we do appreciate all the support so, so, so, so so much. You guys are the, the to be. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the to. to. to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So, th. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooesu. Sooes. Sooes. So. So, toes. So. So, to. So, to I think we shall. What do you want to do next week? You made the audible on this one because we had picked something else. We had picked something else and I was like, God damn it, I want something that just brings me joy. Spoiler alert. I mean, I have to be honest. I knew. We're going to do Night of the the Cree-Sk-nigh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. thi thi. thi. the thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. We the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the the. the thi. thi. to-s. to-s. to-a. the the the the the the the the thi. the the the the the th-86 maybe? Yeah, 86-87. Yeah, somewhere in there. Somewhere in Allen's a Wheel House. Fred Decker directed, director of Monster Squad. Our namesake. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And if you like horror movies and want to see a little bit of every horror movie.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Oh my god. Or if you just like the 80s in general as an era, You're gonna really love this. You love boob shower scenes. Oh my god. So come back next week for that. Yeah please do. And find us on the internet, T-Public.com slash, no it's not slash anything. I don't know how you find us on there. I search for it. To tea public search where will fambulance. Yeah, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Mm-hmm. We'll get back to. to the. t. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the tha. tha. to. the the the the to. the the tha. tha. the tha. tha. tha. the tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah........ t............... t... t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. Wearolpamulance at Gmail.com. Once we're done thanking our patrons, we'll get back to doing some mailbags. Mm-hmm. We just want to drag these out for you because... You guys are paying for them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:32 And thanks for listening to another episode of Wear-Off Ambulance. Bye. A 300 episode! I can't believe it! Oh Mediacs and on dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to in Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing Blads and let the face, pinning everything in his face. Our parents are cast in case. Please make a guide in your grave.
Starting point is 01:00:18 E&T. A road and comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from Wayne's and Stephen King. E-M-T. We live deliciously bad temperatures, obese, crazily come to daddy. A paranormal act in titties, from Mr. Rogers city, E-M-D. E-D. E-D. Mr. Rogers said, EFT, EFT!

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