Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 312- Black Christmas (2019)
Episode Date: December 21, 2020Listen buddies, I am like 99% sure we made it through this episode without morosely singing "happy holidaaaaaays" even ONCE. I might be wrong about that though; regardless, we tried. For this year's h...oliday spectacular, we're discussing the 2019 remake "Black Christmas." Special topics for your consideration include: POOTS! Great cat names! Not borrowing your friend's DivaCup! Starting a cult! Ben Shapiro! We're all over the place, it's the holidays. This is our SEVENTH holiday episode, holy ghost. Here are the first six: 2014: Episode 9- "Silent Night, Deadly Night" 2015: Episode 61- "Krampus" 2016: Episode 113- "Black Christmas" (Bonus: Episode 114- "Gremlins"!) 2017- Episode 156- "Gingerdead Man" 2018- Episode 208- "Better Watch Out" 2019- Episode 260- "Rare Exports" Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get bonus episodes about action movies Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Katie.
I've lost my working class roots.
Please give me some bad news.
I could do with more of it.
I've realized that this pandemic has really changed me.
In what way? I've lost my working class roots.
What is this supposed to mean?
This is me just assuming that everybody has home box office.
Oh yeah, because you're bougy though.
I'm buggishy as fuck.
I think $15 to now own this movie from Amazon.
I'm so sorry.
That's okay. I will send you $15 though.
70750 because I get to keep the movie. Okay, all right. You have the resale value on it.
Yeah, I don't know, you know, when Amazon goes under and I don't own it anymore, then I'll
probably ask for the 750 that's in arrears, but... Please charge interest.
What are we talking about the 2019 film Black Christmas. This is the second
Black Christmas we've done for the podcast for our Christmas episode. It is our
Christmas episode. Happy Holidays to you and yours or whatever. Or whatever. Yeah. The first
Black Christmas is a absolutely fantastic film.
Oh yeah. Canadian Slasher, the Canadian Slasher maybe?
1974. It's the it's definitely the the Grand Daddy that started it all. Yeah, it's amazing.
Then in 2006, your boy my and James Wan made. Oh, is that who did that one? Yes, the other black Christmas
which I'm pleased we've not done. Yeah, universally panned. I'm sure we'll
probably do it next year unless somebody comes out with a really good
Christmas horror movie. That's true. So buckle up for that I guess. So this is the
third iteration of the same film. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. First one to have poots. Foots. Fucking love poots! poots. Putes. Putes. Putes. So putes. So poots. So poots. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th, th, th, th. So th. So th we've th, we've th, we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. th. th. th. th th th th thee's thi. thi's the the thi the thi theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's we've the. -hmm. Mm-hmm. First one to have poots, though. My girl poots!
Fucking love poots!
I just want her once to yell poots, there it is.
Just once.
I just want them to stop making her be an American.
Because she's not.
She's doing fine, but she's not.
I totally thought she was American. Did you? I keep referring to her as Imogene Poots, American Treasure.
Yeah, she's not. She's also 30 in this film. Yeah, she is. Hell yeah. And she's
playing a college student. Imaging Poots is five years younger than me and I could be
playing a college student's mother. You just don't have that pootsful charm that she does.
She's a poots baby.
She's a real poots baby.
Poots perfect skin.
Anyway, this is a movie about her.
This is a movie about Emerson Poots called Poots.
There it is.
This is a movie in which it took me about an hour to realize that yipyap is not real.
It's meant to be what's app?
I just, I was like, ah, that's probably real.
Yeah, I mean, I was like, oh, I wonder what is yipyap like Twitter?
I don't know what yipyap is. Is it tick talk?
No, they just mean what's up. It's a, it's a, it's, I should have known.
Well, they were sending out tweets on Twitter. Twuder. Twuder. Twooder. Oh, good. I have a really
funny Twitter account, but I was like, don't tell anybody the, the username. I hope it has 69. It's, um, it's a, it's a wherwolf ambulance. 420. It's, th. It's, it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a, it's a werewolf ambulance 420, thirty, sixty-nine, four twenty.
Nice. Budweiser frog. Some that was in there too. Metallica, angel girl, six nine.
You don't like Radiohead because you just don't get it. These are all the things that are in your Twitter.
I didn't think that I should put that in my Twitter handle because I have it tattooed on myself so I didn't want, I, I to to to to to to to to to to to to the to th, I, I to to to to to to th. I th. I to th. I to th. I to to th. I to to to th. I to th. thi the thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. the. the. thin, thin, thin, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. These are all the things that are in your Twitter. I didn't think that I should put that in my Twitter handle
because I have it tattooed on myself,
so I didn't want to give myself away.
Just a belly rocker that says you don't like Radiohead
because you just don't get it.
Guys, maybe it's just not as great as you think it is. Controversial opinions. Here's a controversial opinion. Don't use someone else's
Diva Cup. What the actual fuck was that? And don't put it in in front of them.
And you can't like any Diva Cup user will tell you you can't just slide it in
like that. There's a bend, there's like a squat, there's a suctioning.
Uh-huh. I found that offensive. That would be, hey, do you have a tampon I can borrow? Sure do.
Rip, blump, just put it right in front of some play.
Cramming it right in there.
And like, they were just like locked in eye contact while she was doing it too, like a dog rubbing its butt on the ground.
It was weird. It was gross. That's okay, because they're college girls and they're in a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the ground. It was weird.
It was gross.
That's okay, because they're college girls and they're in a sorority and they're just
like so quirky and fun.
And they love each other.
They all love each other.
They're ants.
They're all part of the whole.
I actually really like that.
I thought it was sweet.
No, I mean, this is clearly a film about sisterhood. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. Of the traveling oil leaking busts. Sisterhood of the traveling
yipyap harassment. I feel like yipyap is just gonna, it's gonna, there's gonna be harassment.
Yeah, I think you get it when you sign up. So the movie starts with frat chanting, which I really enjoyed.
Did you like that?
Just someone saying, fraternus fraternum, fraternist fraternum.
Which is just fraternity, fraternity perhaps.
And there's women's screaming over a fire.
And then we meet Lindsay.
Or no, we meet the ladies all hanging out, wondering about Lindsay.
Right. Lindsay's ruining Christmas by not coming back to the house to get her vibe that is her Christmas gift.
Uh, because she lost her, her, her, her vibe. This scene actually I thought was
very tense with a guy following her on his phone even though you knew it like
wasn't that guy. Yeah. It's just the idea of like being followed by a man at night is very
scary. I feel like that touched a like touched a little nerve in the back of my head.
Oh sure. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, for sure. Like why is that touched a like touched a little nerve in the back of my head. Oh sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, for sure. Like why is that guy following her so closely when she's obviously freaked out
anyway? Just like say sorry and cross the street or something. Do I ever tell you about the time? This is how
dumb I am. I was in a Whole Foods, uh, and the Whole Foods in Philly has like a second floor for parking.
And so I was like waiting for the elevator and I could tell that like I was like freaking
the woman out next to me.
And I was like, all right, I'll just pull myself out of the situation.
So I ran up the steps to go up to it.
And when I get to the top of to do a good thing and I terrified her even
more. You should have just looked at her and been like, I won. And then done the Rocky
Post because it's Philadelphia. No, man, don't just like try to be aware of your being
menacing in public, but probably none of you are in public anymore anyway, so it's probably fine.
Don't worry about your menacing now. No. Your own menaces.
So Lindsay gets attacked by a druid, I would say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. The, the, my university, my alma mater, the University of Pittsburgh, has a secret society called the
Druids.
No.
And they do, well, they did at least 20 years ago when I went there.
And they would like, they were very secret.
No one knew who was in it.
No one knew how you got in it.
But they would like, during finals week, they do like one parade basically, like from somewhere in South Oakland,
then usually through the Ly Hillman Library,
and that's like, oh, I saw the Druids,
like it was a big deal to see the Druids.
How did you get into it?
I don't know.
Oh, so you never made it in.
Oh, I wasn't invited you to be a druid with me. Having neither wealth nor power probably kept me out of the druids, nor like decorum.
You don't want me in your secret society.
You're joking?
My now not so secret society.
Yeah, I'm like sitting on a bar somewhere being like, and I got initiated.
They wanted me to fuck a goat's goal, and I said, I'm, but I'm still a member.
Yeah.
My dad tried to get me to join the masons with him.
And I was like, are you out of your mind?
No.
Can anybody just join the masons?
You have to be invited into it.
Yeah. What is the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th th, thu thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thu thuant thate thathea, thathea, thathea, thathea, thoes. They's thoes. They's thoes. They's thoes. They's thoes. They's, thathing. They's, thathing. They's, thathing. They's thathing. They's thathing. They's thathing. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's tha, tha, tha, thathea, tha, tha, tha, that you have to be invited into it. Yeah.
What is the deal with the mazons?
It's just an excuse for dudes to be weird to each other, I think.
What kind of weird?
Oh, rituals and drinking.
If my father was involved in it.
Weird.
I just know that he kept his handgun and Masonic Bible in the same drawer in his dresser. There's the Masonic Bible?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa.
Wait, is it religious?
Sure, yeah, that's like Judeo-Christian stuff, yeah,
with like weird occult stuff thrown on top of it.
That sounds kind of fun, actually.
Yeah, except for everybody else that's doing it.
Like any club that would... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Should we start our own Judeo-Christian religion with a cult elements?
That's just like for cool people, like everyone's super chill?
Do you think that that's the conversation that has started every cult that's ended up having a documentary,
or three made about them? Yeah, it's like a minimum four years you and I are in a Netflix documentary
My hair is a wild and you're like
Just like a beard to your waist
But I'm only shown in flashbacks for the first two episodes
Oh my god, so the Druid murders Lindsay with an icicle, which I think is a very nice touch.
And she makes like a snow angel upon her murder.
I absolutely loved the way that looked when she was being drugged out of the snow angel.
Absolutely, this is very nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But now she'll never get to vibe.
No, I know. She was going to jerk it and now 'll never get to vibe. No, I know. I know.
She was going to jerk it, and now there's no jerk in it.
No, she wasn't going to be able to jerk it until after Christmas break anyway, I guess, but still.
So cut to poots. Cut to your girl Poots.
Poots?
Poots is a non-traditional student. student, being age 30 and all, in a different sorority, which looks like it says
puke when it's spelled out. Oh the moo, kappa, Epsilon? I guess so. It was like
the M is real, like, yeah, real scripty looking. It looks like Puk. And I thought, is that a joke?
Oh, it might be. Is it? You know what, I was shocked to find out?
What?
This was filmed in New Zealand.
Really?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah, I was like, oh, they got old-ass colleges in New Zealand?
Neat. When was New Zealand founded?
Somebody Google it?
Google it? Send us an email.
That'll be the end of that transaction.
He's getting touched.
Kiwis?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not offensive, is it?
No, they call themselves.
It's like, okay, just making sure.
Anyway, everybody's dressed like it's 1996.
For real. 90s fashion film I've ever seen and that like made me feel a little bummed out because when I was in college my the fashion was just so bad comparatively
sure like the 90s and then the 2010s like just such a downhill for me you know
this was the 90s with fit with like well-fitting pants yeah high wasted pants
yeah high wasted pants that don't bag out in like the crotch area.
Yeah.
For sure, it looks like you're trying to smuggle a ham out of a store.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a new and improved 90s, but I had to wear like low-rise jeans and halter tops.
I had to.
I had to.
It was the law.
T-shirts that are like just a little too short with your low-rise jeans, it's a great look. Like you like you like you like dried your clothes too much?
Oh no! Or you suddenly grew just in the middle. Yes, such a bad look!
Luckily as a chubby man I never had to worry about either of those things.
All the jeans are low-rise.
And belly shirts are just not a thing for me.
No, well, anyway, speaking of monsters, um, there's a druid walking around or something,
right?
Is this happening yet?
Where is the dru?
I don't know, where are we?
Oh, so we're in the sorority house
and they're all being like so nice and so cute to each other and they're having
an orphan's dinner and it's just all very very nice. And one of her friends says
Christmas is a time for looking sexy.
Was that the permanently vapid friend? Yes, yeah she was very one note huh? but I really liked later on when they're like they? they. and they. and they're, and they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like they're like they're like th. And th. And th. And they're they're th. And they're they're th like th. And they're all th. And they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the their the the the the that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooo thooe thooo tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that the permanently vapid friend? Yes, yeah. She was very one note, huh?
But I really liked later on when they're like,
Hey, your name, what do you think?
She goes, I wasn't listening.
What should I say?
Yeah, what am I supposed to say?
I felt seen.
But sometimes you just want someone to go, yes.
You're like, okay, yeah.
Yeah, I agree then, absolutely.
Speaking of monsters, we do meet the monster
that is Carrie Ellis in this movie, though.
At least I'm not making him be American.
I think that's, you know, to everyone's advantage.
We saw how poorly that went and saw. Yeah, you know, I feel like everybody who knows that man knows him from
the Princess Bride where he's like the all-time good guy. Sure. He's a bad guy in like literally
every other movie I feel. Yeah, yeah, but we all fell in love with him in the Princess Bride.
And then he just got to be whatever he wanted. Yeah, Robin's up Menantites. Oh, he's a good guy. I forgot about that. Yeah, that's a big darn girl for him too, huh?
Mm-hmm. This is our third karaoke always, the first being Days of Thunder,
Rusty Wheeler. The bad guy, NASCAR driver, American. I love that movie just had a fucking Nescar name generator that they released.
Russ Wheeler, Rowdy Burns, Coal, Tick Speed?
Yeah, that'll work, that's fine.
Write it down. Put it on the list.
God, I love that movie so fucking much.
But he's this movie so fucking much.
But he's this, so he's this like, just racist, misogynist professor who's like teaching,
I guess like a lit class or something.
Classics, yeah.
Yeah, he's just like, oh, sorry, it's all white men.
Burbidi-bur. And he... But though, it is all white men, so, hmm.
And then like quoting, oh, I can't remember the woman's name, who the article is from.
I just know when we were watching it, he said her name and Missy's like, oh, she's a piece of shit.
Good, thank you, Missy.
So it is an actual person that was being quoted in that. Wow. thia thia. thia. thia. tho, tho, thi. tho, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's, it's, it's, thi, it's, it's, thi. And, it's, it's thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, that was being quoted in that.
Wow, I'm glad that they called somebody out on being a piece of shit.
Yeah.
Ah, because that quote is terrible.
And his reaction to it is terrible.
And then he brings up the fact that there's a petition circulating to have him fired.
Yeah.
If you're a professor, are you going to talk to your class about that? You know what what I what I th I th I thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. theea. to. to. to. toaa. toa. toa. toa. that. that. that. that. that. thea. thea. th to talk to your class about that? You know what I mean?
Maybe.
Why would you bring attention to it?
He was giving me Ben Shapiro vibes.
Oh, can you explain who Ben Shapiro is for our non-American listeners?
He is this internet troll TV talking head type dude who, uh who is just staunchly opposed to anything that
is seen to be of the left. Yeah like literally anything like I was the he was
tweeted something the other day and I was like this must be exhausting to
constantly have to be like man man, they like sunshine.
Guys, rain is the best.
But he's just a troll and he's just a naysayer
and he's totally into like Euro,
like white Eurocentric massogny is his deal.
A real treasure, a real American treasure.
You might remember him during when wet-ass pussy was blowing up and he read the lyrics and
then said that his wife said having a wet vagina is a sign of illness. And she's a doctor, so she knows.
That's a real thing that happened to this man.
That happened? That happened? And he was like talking shit on the internet about it and everyone was just like, oh my dude
That is the cringe I like I feel I'm my blushing can you tell that I'm blushing
That's the cringiest thing I've ever heard. I'm so fucking embarrassed right now, but it's a perfect encapsulation of that dude. Yeah, like just getting every beat
incorrect. And that is our friend Carrie always. Yeah, sure. I just have him down as the misoggen. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that is that is that is that is that is. I that is. I that is. I that is. I that is. I that is. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just th. th. th. th. I th. the. I th. thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. And that is our friend Carrie always. Yeah, sure.
I just have him down as the misogynist professor.
Yeah, he's teaching misogyny as a course.
Course, what is Poots's name?
Oh, I only have her as Poots.
It's Rye, they call her.
Oh, Riley.
Yeah, thi and all of her main group of friends all have unisex names. I'm sure that's intentional.
Oh sure, yeah, I didn't think about that.
So Riley of course works at a coffee shop because she's the fucking coolest.
Oh my god, she would have killed it in a 90s movie.
She would have destroyed everything.
Live Tyler would have been a best friend.
Yes. Imagine her in Empire Records.
Phenominal.
Remake it with Poots.
Remake it with Poots.
She could still be a high school senior.
Her skin is flawless.
Poots, how you doing it?
Like, what year was Green Room?
Like, what year was Green Room?
I want to say like 2017?
Okay, okay, so it was right around this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, thank God she had got to have her own hair in this movie.
Yeah, which is like so cute.
It's like the same haircut I have, but way better.
Anyway.
Pooots.
Yeah, and of course there's like a cute, sensitive-looking guy who likes her at the coffee shop
and you're just like, come on, I saw this movie when I was in high school.
Oh, Landon.
So cute. So sensitive.
I really liked the whole like, him being like so nice that he just ends up holding the door
for everyone and her like smiling at him like, you. Oh you. That's really cute. The women like, the w like, the w like, the w like, the the the th, like, like, like th, like th, like th th th th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that everyone and heard like smiling at him like you oh you the women who wrote this movie must be like
my age because I feel like this is just like the setup to every movie that was
formative for us oh yeah yeah I wouldn't be surprised yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah Poots is almost your age
almost your age
almost almost almost
so they are all going to some Christmas cavalcade.
The Deeks Talent Show. Talent show, that's the word I was searching for. I was coming up with
Cavalcade. It seems terrible. It seems like a terrible way to spend your time. Yeah, for sure.
I mean anything at a frat house that wasn't a punk show that they let us have in the
basement was like a bad idea. I mean, I will stand for sure. I mean, anything at a frat house that wasn't a punk show that they let us have in the basement was like a bad idea.
I mean, I will stand for beer pong tournaments,
but that's just me.
I know your love.
Your love of the beer prong.
Pretty good at it.
The thing that's really a shame for me is how good I am atto play it. I'm like fucking, I could, I got a gun all the way and flip cup.
I feel like that's a Judd Apatow movie waiting to happen. Although you'll be recast is Seth Green, I'm sorry. Oh, that's fine. The other one, Seth Rogan. I'd much rather be Seth Green, but that's okay.
Yeah, so they're at the talent show.
Poots has been choreographing and helping the ladies do their routine that they're going to do tonight.
Her fellow sorority sisters.
Right, they're all wearing like, very sexy Santa the thei outfits.
Uh-huh. Which is a weird concept when you think about sexy Santa tas, but okay. It was giving me Santa baby vibes.
That's so weird.
So weird.
Santa baby?
Yeah.
Or Madonna saying like Betty Boop doing Santa baby.
Like who, like, I don't know.
It just doesn't seem like you should fuck Santa to Jason.
Whoa, whoa, as as a man who is Santa Jason. Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize you were a mythical creature who lived at the North Pole and spent your
evening flying around with toys for children.
That's just not super-fuckable to me.
I'm so sorry you took offense.
I'm so sorry about your Santa defensiveness.
It's the only famous person I look like.
That's very funny.
It's John Goodman and Santa. Those are the two I got.
John Goodman dropped a bunch of weights. So now what am I going to do?
Be Santa, I guess. I'm so sorry I said that you, that your icon is just not.
I just don't think you should fuck Santa.
Well, mommy's always kissing him.
But what about like hot co-ed Santa's?
They are very hot and they're singing a song, a very silly choreographed song about basically about frat boys assaulting women.
And it's done very like in a very sexy way.
It's like very cheeky, sexy I guess. And it just like the the lyrics just keep upping in their intensity.
Yeah. Until the closer of you slipped me a roofy and then
you slipped me your dick. Yeah. Yeah. And this is all with the backdrop of the
man who's actually assaulted poots being in the room.
And we see a portrait of him on the wall in which he looks like a bunco Jensenackles.
I was like, ooh, there's a Jensenackles in this movie.
He really wasn't.
It was just the angle.
Yeah, yeah, and he's always chewing gum, which is just like, if you're in a movie chewing gum,
you know you're the asshole.
Right, they don't give gum to everybody.
Are you Val Killm-Hil? Yes you are, you're chewing gum.
Are you Carrileways in Days of Thunder? You're fucking chewing gum. Yeah, yeah.
And probably Carrileways and Twister. He was probably chewing gum in that too.
And probably in Salt if he'd been able to.
It's true.
It seemed like a gum chure. But I did like the whole
thing of when she first, like they have to talk her into being on stage because
Helena has gotten drunk and Poots actually stops a sexual assault that's
happening to her from her current boyfriend. Yeah. Phil, real piece of shit.
Yeah, and then she barfs
everywhere, because barfing is awesome. And they leave the barf in his room and
Boots just goes, here's a nice Christmas present for him. Yeah, that's funny. I
like that a lot. But so when she's up on stage and they start doing the song, Brian, the guy who assaulted her, like winks at her and he's tueing gum and winking at her, which which which which, which, which, which, which, which, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Because th. Because th. Because, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a th. Because th. Because th. Because th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Because, thi. Because, the guy who assaulted her, like winks at her and he's
chewing gum and winking at her which is just like a double whammy. Nasty. And it
makes her freeze and then her friend has to like, I guess it's Chris that's like,
get him. Let's go get them. Yeah, you're a fighter and we'll fight him.
Yeah she has to give a couple pep talks in this movie. It's true. So she does th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, tho-a tho-a. th. th. th. thi. thi. the the, the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that the. thea. thea. theat thea. togea. I togea. toge. I toge. I tea. I together, thea. I thea. couple pep talks in this movie. It's true. Yeah.
So she does.
They sing the song and people are booing them and throwing trash at them, except for
all the women are cheering.
Yeah.
And then I thought, God, you're all there though.
Like, you're there.
You went to the time of day?
I do not know.
This movie is very like,
these men are like someone only watched
the first half of Fight Club.
I was reading reviews of this movie
because I wanted to know what people hated so much about it.
Yeah, it has very poor reviews.
And one of the reviews was just like,
all the men were so poorly written. Oh boy. And I was just like, have you seen a Slashor movie in the 80s
when all the female characters just want
to fuck all the male characters?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not trying to be sexist here, but I have a feeling that many of the reviews
are negative because many horror fans are male.
Sure.
Yeah. I feel like this is a movie that is like, um, like making incels or something.
Well, it definitely made them mad because it wore its feminism on, like, outwardly.
Everyone knew that this was a feminist take on this. Yeah. And so is Black Christmas. So is the OG. Yes, absolutely it is. They're all, they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing they're all passing th th th passing th passing th passing th passing th passing th passing this. Yeah. And so is Black Christmas. So is the O. G. Yes, absolutely it is.
They're all they're all passing around a bottle of champagne which was making me
so nervous in COVID times. I was like don't fucking do that. Yeah. Yeah for sure.
I mean even like now when I see like people hugging and I'm like, are you at a bubble together? Are you pod? You're gonna pod. You got a pot over there. Anyway so now it's the the the the next it's the next it's the next it's the next it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the next it's the next. It's the next. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the they's they're all. It's they're all. It's they're all. It's they're all. It's they're all. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their all. It pod. He's a pod. You've got a pot over there.
Anyway, so now it's the next morning and we see Franny again with her cat, Claudette, which is a great name for a cat.
And a great cat.
You think so? That cat looked like a shithead to me.
I thought that cat was gorgeous. Just a long-haired white cat. You know, just getting all over all of my black clothing.
Yeah, right? It is a dick because it keeps hiding from her.
Lindsay hasn't gotten home yet.
They have not heard from Lindsay, because they were supposed to hear back from Lindsay.
So they're suspicious of that.
There's black slime on Claudette's paw at this point.
Right. And that corresponds to the like poots when they were
at the the frat party walked in on a frat ceremony where we saw the statute
or the bust of Calvin Hawthorne, the founder of the school, oozing black icker. Yeah, and also
the yip-yat messages had been from Calvin Hawthorne as well. Right, the threatening messages. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. Tt this this this th th th th th th th th the th the the th th the the th the th the the th the th the the the th the th that the frat the frat the frat thrateat thrat thrat party thrateat party the frat party that party that party that party that party that party that party threateat party threateat party threateat party threaten threaten that party that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, threaten. threaten. that. that. that. threaten. that. threaten. threaten. threaten. threaten. threaten. that, that, the yip-yat messages had been from Calvin Hawthorne as well Right the threatening messages
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I don't know this this goes on for a little while
Franny's chasing Claudette around the house trying to find her and then there's a great scene where she walks out of a room and the cloaked figure follows her out and tho their thi. Yes, and then later we just thranny in the snow. It's so sad.
Yeah, I liked Franny.
90s overalls on.
She did have a... I didn't think about it until you brought it up.
She had a phenomenal 90s style.
I feel like she had big shoulder pads in her sweater, too.
They all did. There was like big cowlnecks too and just like, it's a very 90s look. Yeah poots was wearing like a long
winter coat at one point I was like I think I got fuck with a long winter coat
I thought the same thing but also I was like this is how I know I'm a mom
because I was like fucking buttoned up it's snowing. You just have a
t-shirt on under there honey you're cold. Where are your mittens Poots? Answer your question I think you can pull off a long winter coat because you're so tall.
Oh, okay. Thank you. I think their height helps.
So I'll get a duster. That's what we all agreed upon? Yep, gotta get a duster.
I mean, like a leather duster? Uh-huh good. And a fedora. Cowboy hat and a
fedora. No, a little hat on a hat. My lady. All of the rooms in this sorority house are
extremely dope. Like I lived in utter dumps in college.
This was giving me happy death day vibe for that. Yeah.
Where everybody lived in like really nice rooms in there. They all have like beautiful decor and like...
Is it a frat slash sorority thing? Must be. I mean, I lived in an apartment that like had like
like literal panels of the wood paneling missing in the walls.
Once the ceiling just fell in and I called the maintenance man and he like took some trash
that had fallen from above the ceiling and was like oh this is mine and just left with it.
And I was like wait the ceiling fell. And also like I didn't want those trivial pursuit cards.
Oh that's my trash.
I gotta go.
Yeah.
Like he was like, almost like, how did you get this?
I'm sorry, ma'am.
What are you doing with my trash?
From the hole in the ceiling.
So weird stuff is happening in Poots.
She's getting these texts.
Her friend, Helena's mom calls her and is like,
Helena didn't come home, we were supposed to have heard from her whatever.
So Poots actually goes to campus security.
Oh yeah.
Which is the smart thing to do.
Love a useless horror cop.
For sure, an antagonistic from the jump cop.
What is his, why? Why, like, you know, ACAB.
Horror movies just, why has a cop never been useful?
Well, I liked it because they kept tying this particular,
like, when she reported her sexual assault, nothing happened.
Oh, right, yes, that's true.
And so it was just like, and it comes up later in the movie when I have the note, poots equals ACAB,
but just like the uselessness and the fact
that like she's a woman and the cops just not listening to her
and she's being hysterical.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, he was just squeezing mayonnaise on to his ham and mayonnaise sandwich. I mean I love mayonnaise but like I can't
watch that was very yucky to watch. There's something about it's the squeezing.
For sure. Yeah, but then but then it's like call the real police poots, you know,
that guy's not the end-all. Your friend is missing but anyway she finds Carrie always and he takes her to the frat house where he reveals to her where the key is why would he do that?? that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to to to the. to to the. I the. the. the. the. the. I the. the Carrie always, and he takes her to the frat house
where he reveals to her where the key is.
Why would he do that?
And she also sees that he drops his papers
when he scares her, he drops his papers.
And she sees that he has a list of all of her friends.
Right, her name's on it too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, I can't, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I, yeah. He's like, I can't decide if he's doing a good job in this movie.
Like as an actor or the character himself?
Okay.
Uh, I think he is.
I just couldn't get over the fact that I just kept going, do you have work done?
Do you get work?
Yes, it is.
Something is weird.
Something is weird about his affect now.
He's very tight. Maybe that's what it is.
Which, I mean, I'm not judging, it was just one of those things. No, do what you want. It's like when someone doesn't have eyebrows and it takes you a long time to figure out what's
wrong with their face. Something's just off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Something's off with my carry-albus. Anyway, yeah. Yeah, yeah, he shows her he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He th. He th. He th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho th tho th th th th th thi. It was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is not th is not th is not thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi he has a key to the frat house and because he wants her to know
where it is like it doesn't make any sense but whatever.
She also does a real smart thing though when he's like do you want to come in and she's like
no I'm good thank you.
Yeah. Because he definitely would have killed her. Yeah. But which almost doesn't matter
because she gets back to her house and uh the truids are ready to kill.. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. key. key. key. key. key. key. key. key. tre. tre. tre. the. the. the. the. he he he he he gets back to her house and the truids are ready to
kill basically immediately. We forgot to mention that there's like two three
there's four of them in total and there's a boyfriend that's hanging out too.
So you've got Chris, you've got Poots, Jesse?
Jesse's the Vapid one.
And Marty.
Marty's the boyfriend.
Right, and then Nate is the boyfriend.
Yeah.
He is a weird things to do in this movie.
Well, this is where the movie starts to get a little loosey goose.
Because Nate starts turning into a real dickhead stereotypical like beer drinking
asshole man. Yeah. He's giving me real 70s dad vibes. Yeah but why does that
happen? So there's something about the the juice that's leaking out of Calvin Hawthorne
that infects men and makes them alphas. But he was never there he never touched it. He was at the party. He was at the, the, he was the one filming. I was just like a like a like a like a like a like a like a like a like a like a like a like a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the th. th. th. the the the the phas. But he was never there. He never touched it.
He was at the party.
He was at the, he was the one filming.
I was just like a late onset thing?
Yeah, I guess so.
Okay.
Um, because Landon was there too, and he didn't really have that happened to him until
he was initiated.
I don't know, maybe it does not, the rules cease to exist now.
It's true. It's real loose goose. So they're all fighting with each other, they're all yelling at each other because
Chris has put the video of the song on YouTube and basically like Poot says something libelous in it.
And so they're all yelling at each other and then a druid comes in.
Well I love this too because Jesse is like, uh, I'm gonna go look for decorations
because when you two fight it makes me really uncomfortable and I have to go.
I was like, oh, I a hundred percent feel that.
I feel like I wish I could just be honest.
This is the theme. Like just to be like I'm leaving
because you guys are annoying me. But so we get her getting the callback kill, one of the two
callback kills in this movie. Yes. When they find her dead in the attic from the
Druid. And I love the like whole jump scare of her plugging in lights over and over and on the third time
It lights up and the dude's just crouching next to her
Yeah, and then she's dead and then she said and they keep like I think twice after that once in real time and then later in a flashback
They show her with the lights around her head, but like don't turn her all the way around which I thought was a little disappointing. Yeah for sure Yeah, the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Well. Well. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi the the thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the thru. thru. thru. thru. thru. thru. thruuuu. thruuuuuuuu. thruuu. thru. thru. thru. the her all the way around which I thought was a little disappointing. Yeah for sure. Yeah. Well it's not disappointing is the
fact that the Druid is attacking people with a bow and arrow. Yeah, you just
don't see that that much. And he is like legalist quick reloading that thing. Yeah, I mean,
I don't know how to arch but I think that it's like not easy. You want when he called Gina Davis?
I saw her speak at a conference once, and first of all, she was wonderful and beautiful and so tall.
But she talked a lot about archery, and it was very interesting.
Gina Davis is so cool.
She's really.
It's so fucking cool.
Anyway, also cool is that Putz gets a mop and breaks it over her knee and then acts like she's going to vampire stab somebody with it.
I kept waiting for her to stab her friend who also leaves the safe space that they're in.
Yes, it seemed like there was going to be an accidental stabbing, which fortunately there
wasn't.
So Marty has been hit by an arrow and she's all fucked up.
Yeah, she's got to be dragged around from from from from from from from from from from from from from to look for Jesse and Poots is going to get the car keys so they can leave.
Right. Or the phone, one of the two things. She has to go down and get a phone right and then Nate comes in and
because at first I was like well Nate's obviously the killer and then he walks in and immediately gets shot and I was like, oh.
They do a really good job of that too, of like the, you know, the which of these men is going to be the bad guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that. Because you see the thing happen at the beginning, you see the ritual and you're like, okay, these guys are doing something. Right. But also why has Nate like flipped his lid like this.
So one of the druids pins poots to the ground and is like cutting her cheeks, which is very
sad.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was just like, knee him in the dick.
Like, she just takes it.
Always knee him in the dick.
She does one better.
She does the put your car keys through your fist and like punches him in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th in the deck. She does one better. She does the put your car keys through your fist and like
Yeah, she punches him in the throat with it. That is pretty cool
And then it gets covered in not blood, but black icker. It's gross. Yeah, yeah, and she also for the rest of the movie because she's still covered in that stuff
it does that wonderful thing that I love of the like greasiness moving around her.
Like you could tell for the different days that they were shooting that it's not the same all the time.
Yeah, so Jesse is dead.
Marty is dead.
So there's like a scene where Marty's reaching for the cell phone to call 9-1-1 and
then the next thing you see is like a cop responding to the call. Although I thought it was strange that 911 would call this like single person campus security station to send them instead of like police police, but okay.
And it would they were they were like, they were like, oh yeah, you have to go to 1974 Elm Drive and I was like, oh, that's cute.
But it's a different, I really like that cut scene of like going back and forth and it's a different sorority house that's also being attacked. Right, and they're inside that sorority house there are like girls stabbing Druids and like just
it is like absolute madness. And then the cop walks in and like immediately gets killed.
Yeah, which also like at that point I'm like, what is the druids plan? Right, like what is their goal?
Now that they're murdering outside of their, you know the people they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've their their their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the is their goal? Now that they're murdering outside of their, you know, the people they've decided to murder, i.e. women who are uppity,
they're like murdering cops now.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, yeah, so they're at the other sorority house and you realize now that something major is happening, right?
And so, is it poots that kills one of them with a bag over the head?...... Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their their their their the people, their the people, you the people, you the people, you the people the people the people, you the people, you the people, you their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yes, th. Yes, it Poots that kills one of them
with a bag over the head?
Yes, because a guy is about to kill Chris
and Poots runs in with the bag,
and is killing him with that.
That's the second nod to Black Christmas that I was thinking of.
I think that when I saw the remake of Black Christmas, the 2006 remake, I think it opens with a bag scene too, tha, tha, tha, real, real, real, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is that's, that's, that's, is that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.... th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th. And, th when I saw the remake of Black Christmas, the 2006 remake, I think it opens
with a bag scene too, but it's real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real bad.
They just like, look, we've got to get this out of the way.
Yeah, here, just kills.
Okay, fine here. That just reminded me of something. Sorry to diverge again, but apparently, Glenn Danzig is making a vampire spaghetti western.
What the fuck are you saying to me?
Where everybody in the movie is a vampire?
There was this quote that I saw that I'm going to paraphrase that was like,
hey, you're not going to have to wait to find out who the vampire is,
because every fucking buddy's a vampire.
No, he didn't say that, did he?
He did.
Glenn, no.
This is why people need no men.
Someone to say, I don't think that's going to work.
Do you think there's there's any there's any there's any there's any there's any there's any there's any there's any there's any there's any the their their their their thi their thi thi thithat's going to work. Do you think there's any chance of dancing with listen to a no man?
This is why rich people should have no power.
Look what they do with it!
It's my speciality!
Spiesiolity!
Pussyco!
But I got very excited when I saw that.
I just can't believe...
Like, why can't I make a movie then? I'm not good at it either, thi, thi, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, can't believe, like, why can't I make a movie then?
I'm not good at it either, you know?
Did you sing in the Misfits?
No.
Oh, step your game up.
Fock, you're right.
Oh, I love the scene where Chris is like, oh, I've got to get the car keys
and runs over to the dead frat boy or druid at this point we don't know what's a
rap boy and rips the keys out of his throat and I was like that's badass.
It was it was and they realized that they are at least Poots realizes that she
has to sneak into the room to get the bust of the founder at the
frat house and destroy it because it's the source of the power, which is just like such a great call of Cthulow plot line.
For sure.
I love it a lot.
It's so hammy and pulpy and I really like it.
It really is.
Do you like that she grabbed a snow shovel to be the weapon that she's going to use?
I do, because Poots is nothing if not resourceful.
For sure. Sorry, I'm going to drink my hot chocolate on my witch's cauldron.
So Poots and Chris have a fight in which Poots throws the, I thought you were a fighter line back in Chris's face.
Yeah. And basically, Chris is saying they can't go to the cops because the cops won't believe them.
Which when it comes to attempted murder, I feel like women are more likely believed when they have won't believe them. Which when it comes to attempted murder
I feel like women are more likely believed when they have wounds all over them.
That's all I'm saying. They did murder quite a few people at this point.
But they murdered them with like they had motor oil coming out of them.
Clearly something is wrong. Anyway so they split up and Riley runs into Landon.
Who's clueless? I'm like wearing a cool coat and carrying flowers for you. And like. And like. And like. And like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their they they their their their their they they they their they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they have they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their w. their w. their w. their w. their their their th. th. the tho the tho the tho the thee tho the thi the thi thi thi their they're more more they're their the They split up and Riley runs into Landon.
Who's clueless? I'm like, we're in a cool coat and carrying flowers for you and like, I was just hoping
we could talk about music.
When she meets up with him earlier and she's like, are you deem me?
And he's like, oh, actually I'm not on social media.
I'm afraid of the whole, like, privacy issue.
But I'll, I'll DM there if you want me to the whole like privacy issue, but I'll DM you if you want.
I'll get on there if you want me to.
Nerd.
Oh.
So they hatch this plan where he's going to go into the frat house and distract the frat boys
while she goes and breaks the bust.
Right.
I do not like this plan for him at all.
It's the chaos person distraction thing,
which is a favorite of mine in any D&D situation.
Yeah, but like sending this skinny nerdy kid
in to break a bunch of frat boy's stuff
to distract them, I just feel like it's gonna get his ass kicked.
And he immediately starts raging when he's in there in the same way that Nate was earlier. That's true. That's true. And th. And th. And th, th, th, and th, and th, th, the th, th, th, th, the there, there, there, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there, there, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, there's there's there's there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. And there, there, there, there, there, there. And there, there's there's there's there's thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thii's thiiiiiii's thiiiiiiiiiii, thii, thi, thi thi thi thi th in there in the same way that Nate was earlier.
That's true.
Yeah, that's true.
And there's this high-pitched ringing that is never quite explained, but I think it's
just the sound of toxic masculinity.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Fun fact, couldn't hear the ringing because it perfectly matched my tinitis.
Really? Yeah, yeah. Oh buddy. It was pretty loud. Yeah, that's fun. I'm gonna need hearing aids at some points.
They're getting smaller and more covert.
For sure. Yeah. I'm not afraid of it. I just need to make it happen.
We just shouldn't have been at punk shows all those years without earplugs.
Oh why? Because I couldn't feel the music so I wasn't wearing earplugs?
Like a dildo.
I spent years being in a band that built itself as Pittsburgh's loudest band and didn't
wear earplugs. And I was just like, what, like, why didn't I take better care of myself?
Oh, we, yeah. I'm sure our therapist could tell us. I'll ask him tomorrow, I have an appointment.
So Poots is about to break the magical item and she hears Helena yelling, help me, help
help me, which is like yes, always help your friend in need, but always break the magical
item first.
For sure.
Priorities, it's like Poots has never played an RPG.
I'd run one for.
And... Is that like a, was that an innuendo? Or just that you, you you you you you you you you you you you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you would, that you would, that you would, that you would that you would that you would that you would that you would that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th never played an RPG. Yeah, I'd run one for her.
And...
Is that like a, was that an innuendo or just that you would really like to DM a game for...
I think she'd be really fun of a game.
Yeah.
Poots!
Get touched.
We love you.
Not making fun of her.
We love her.
For sure. I think she's great. I am really into the idea of her being our put-upon
action hero. I think she's great at it. Like this and Green Room, like she's wonderful, like, well,
all right, I guess I gotta do shit. Yeah, and I'll do it well. And she's also a lot of improvised
weapons in that movie too. Oh yeah, you're right. I think it's all pooch. She's thinking these improvised weapons up. Poots is so good. Landy gets nabbed by all the frat boys
like a hundred of them walking on him freaking out. All wearing the Druid
costumes. And they like we see them take him into the ceremony room or whatever
and put oil on his forehead. One of them says, we'll initiate you, bro. I liked how the portrait
of Calvin Hawthorne behind the bust looked like a frat boy. Like he looked like a
like a like a like a just a smarmy brat dude. I love how they all looked like evil 80s
frat boys. Yeah they all look like they should be named Brad. Yeah they all look
like the frat boy from a Night of the Creeps. Night of the Creeps. Thrill Me, the Space
Worms, zombies. Yeah, wasn't that guy's name Brad?
It was, yeah.
It was because his license plate was Bradster.
Bradster.
So, so Poots goes to free Helena,
finds her like tied to a radiator or something
and tries to like leave with her I think but then Helena has
double-crossed her. This felt so fucking bleak to me. This was very, remember I told you, I told you in the
action movie podcast so a lot of people haven't heard this but I like after watching it we did the
Matrix and after like looking into what Red Pill was in popular parlance I ended up on the I ended up on the subredredit, we th, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, theeeeeeeeeeeea, thea, thea, thea, thiii, theea, thi, thi, thi, parlance, I ended up on the subreddit Red Pill wives
of women who believe they should be subservient
to their men in their lives.
And it was like literally the bleakest,
saddest thing I've ever read.
It was like teenage girls being like,
I want to grow up to be like that, and I wanted to be dead when I read it. So this movie like in having
Helena do that it's also just like oh god. I love that Poots calls her a
traitor. She is a fucking traitor. Yeah. So Poots gets knocked out and then she is all
tied up and they're going to sacrifice her. And she's like having a flashback to her assault too, which is just like really, really upsetting.
Sure, because the guy who assaults her pins her to the ground in the same way that he did.
But I thought that was a really powerful juxtaposing those two scenes,
yeah.
Without being like, overly graphic.
It felt very much like American Mary, where there was no like sexuality to the assault.
Just, well, another movie made by a woman.
Yeah. It was just all the brutality of it.
Yeah. And also we should mention that they have a collection, the Frappoys have a collection of
items from each of the people they're going to kill because they need to basically give
the scent of the person to the now zombified pledges who go out. to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do out to do the the to do their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to do out. to do out. Well. to do out. Well. Well. Wea. Well. Wea. Well, thexxxxxxxxxxx. Wea. Ie. thea. Ia. basically give the scent of the person to the now
zombified pledges who go out to do their murders for them, which is hilarious.
But then they look at the table and there's the Helena necklace, which I was so glad she
was wearing earlier because I couldn't tell her apart from Jesse at times.
But then the Helena necklace is on the altar as well. And she's th th th th th th th th th th they's th they's the they's the they's they's the they's they's they's their they's they's their they's they's like their their their they's like they's like they's like their was like they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their necklace is on the altar as well, and she's like, what?
Why?
Why?
But there was also the hair comb that Poots had given to Helena.
So she gave them the instrument of her demise, which is fucked up.
Yeah, for your friend to do that, who is like your little sister.
Yeah. It's a brave move attacking someone with a plastic comb, don't you think?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So she cuts the attacker with the plastic comb and then the doors kick open?
It's so fucking dope. And it's all of the other sorority sisters are like all improvised weapons and they're
just like, fuck this shit.
One of them is fighting with a menorah and I loved it.
Yeah.
That was so good.
It's so good.
There's the scene of all of them coming in in like, slow-mo, they burst through the door.
It's like, there's like a ringing guitar note I feel, or at least in my head there is, for sure, they are like
fielding these makeshift weapons and you're just like, yes! So Poots is able to
throw off her attacker. She uses the power in her hips to toss them off as I learned in my
self-defense class. For sure. And then
Chris sets Carrie always on fire. You know those cloaks had to be flammable
though they were clearly like polyester. I wish I had written down the line
that she delivers like some like burn to him right before she literally
lights up on fire. Yeah. And there's a great scene where like Carrie Ellis is calling out poots and like telling her to sit down to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the to their their to their their always always always always always always always always the the the the the their always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always their their always always always always their their their always their their always always their their their always always always their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. the. the. thea. thea. theea. try. try. try. try. to. thea. thea. they. they. they. Ellis is calling out poots and like telling
her to sit down or simmer down or something and she's like we will not be blah blah blah
and she like launches into this little speech that was like very like female empowerment as
well.
Yeah.
And then they watched the frat house burn and they smile.
After they lock the door so the frapp boys can't get out. I was like that's vicious. Yeah, Landon is the only
man who walks out of that house. That's right, yeah he does. Because he's like
able to be fixed. Yeah, yeah, his love for her has like turned him around. So none of the other frat boy druids had any love that could turn it around for them? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that's like, that's like, that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the the the the that's the that's that's that's that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like,, so none of the other frat boy druids had any love that could turn it around for them?
Uh, you gotta love poots.
Oh, it's poots specific.
Yeah, if you don't love poots, you're not going to be saved.
I see.
Which is why we are fine.
Oh good.
I'm glad to know that, when the rapture comes, we'll be pootsed away. The pootster's gonna poots us away. Yeah. Oh poots we love you.
So and that's the that's the end of the movie until the stinger scene at the
end. What do you mean? There's a scene post credits. Oh tell me about it you know I didn't watch it.
Claudette. Claudette? I have a note midway through the movie is anyone taken care of Claudette, our favorite Claudette. I have a note midway through the movie, Is anyone taking care of Claudette?
Well, obviously they're not feeding her, because she is seen lapping up the black Icker
from one of the dead frat boys.
Claudette, no, honey.
I'm hoping Black Christmas too is Claudette's revenge.
Wow.
And that's like Christmas.
Wow, what a film.
What a film?
What a film?
You want to rate it?
I do want to raid it.
Do you want to go first?
You want to go first?
You've seen this movie twice now, yeah?
I have seen this movie twice.
I really liked it.
I don't know what everyone hates so much about it. I found it like I thought the like the
flippy floppy on the slasher film was really neat and I thought it was like
it was schlocky but still fun which I feel like it could have been just like
really heavy-handed and not been silly but it's still like the stuff that's
supposed to be important and heavy was still important and heavy.
Like the real-world issues were still like important and heavy and then like the stuff that's supposed to be important and heavy was still important and heavy. Like the real world issues were still like important and heavy and then like the like campy,
pulpy stuff was still campy and pulpy. Yeah. I would give this movie an eight. Wow, high score.
Yeah, I know. I can tell you exactly what people hated about this movie. What's that?
Women. Oh, people, people, that's fair. Um, that. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their their their their. their their their their. their. their. their their. their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. things. things. things. things. th. th. th. their their th. their their their their their their the about this movie. What's that? Women.
No, that's not fair.
So I think it's a little bit heavy-handed in its themes.
It's obviously hitting on very current themes, you know, I don't want to say current themes
because men assaulting women and getting away with it is obviously not a current theme.
That's an evergreen you know, evergreen, yeah.
Again, that's an evergreen?
Yeah, but I think it's, um, I think it's just being openly feminist,
which a lot of people won't like. And I think that's fair. I was very critical of the
Love Witch for being a like a purportedly feminist film that didn't manage to actually get any real feminist them into it. And I feel like like like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that's like that's that's that's that's thi. I'm that's that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thin, theeea thean thean thean thean thean theiii. I'm thea. I'm theea. I manage to actually get any real feminist themes into it. And I feel like this movie had a lot of feminist
themes in it, but just was like, here look at them, look at them, look at them,
which is fine. But I can see how you know, people and when I see people I mean men
would be like, you can't just make all men look terrible because that's really what this movie is. I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And I thi. And I thi. And I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, like, thi thi thi. And I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And I thi thi thi thi that's really what this movie is. I think it's just Landon who isn't, you know.
Right, but he's still a Dildo. Yeah, why is he a Dildo though? He's just kind of like a
dream boy. He's the manic-pixie dream boy. Yeah, he's just kind of like a dreamy ding-dong who
like wants to read you poetry and stuff like... What college woman isn't into that. Anyway, I thought it was really fun. I really enjoyed it. I think
just like, as soon as it was over I wanted to text my ladies nightmare group and
be like, have you seen this? We need to watch this because I feel like just watching
it with my girlfriends would be really, really fun. Yeah, I had a great time. I can see how people
wouldn't like it. Get fuck yourselves. I liked it. Yeah, 8 is bang on.
Yes.
Yeah, super fun.
Well, I'm glad you own it now.
Yeah, if anyone wants to watch it with me, I have it.
But it's, it also just like, it's not much of a Christmas movie, which I sort of appreciate too.
For sure. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it's just hard to make a good Christmas horror movie.
And the original Black Christmas is much the same way where Christmas is just the backdrop.
You know what I mean?
Like it's just winter break.
Whereas I feel like everything else we've seen that's been like Christmas-spea-no'-sknaut.
the backdrop.
Sure.
Sylainite, Deadly Night is terrible.
Crampus was a rough watch.
I feel like they should have called this movie,
Men, am I right?
And not Black Christmas and people,
because I feel like a lot of the pushback was like
an undisputed classic remaking it is going to always like, you know, get some pushback.
Yeah, but everything gets remade, you know? And everyone complains about it.
That's actually totally fair, yeah.
I felt this was so separate from that black Christmas that it doesn't even bother me.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get that. Katie.
Alan. You know it doesn't bother me. What? Patrons on our Patreon. I hope that
doesn't bother you. They're so nice. They're so great. Can I give some shout-outs
to people? That would be really nice. I would like to give a shout-out to Shadow
Price. Hi Shadow. Shadow Price says, just want to thank you too for helping keep me
sane while working in the food service industry in the Midwest during this year of hell. Oh we're th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. tho. I tho. I tho tho tho tho tho tho. I tho. I tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thoooooooooooooooo. the. the. tho. service industry in the Midwest during this year of hell.
Oh, we're here with you. Thank you for being here with us. Yes, we're happy to walk through hell with you.
Shadow. This is from our new Bible, the Judeo-Christian thing with occult elements. We will walk through
hell with you, shadow. This is good. We're doing great. Come to Father. For Alan's little house on the Perry Porn.
I love that's where you go with that.
All right, this is from, this is Christmas-themed and from Dozer, who is a very old friend
of mine.
He is very a friend I've had for a long time and he's very old.
Oh, hi, Dozer says, I'd like to thank Alan for lending Santa his beard for the season
but encourage him to grow it back. Yeah that's funny. And how about one more from Nina
Tepper. Hi Nina. My fun fact is that one of the movies I remember seeing in the theater when I was seven
years old was The Fly by Cronenberg.
Oh my God, who took you to see that?
Well, I guess my dad really wanted to see it and couldn't find a babysitter.
Nina's dad, no.
Summs up his parenting skills pretty well and explains a lot about me.
Oh, yeah, proper blame. I think that'd be formative.
But that's also probably why you love Gina Davis, don't you, Nina, Nina, don't.
She does.
She does.
I'm sure she does.
I feel it on my bones.
I'll answer for Nina Tee.
I know what's up.
Thank you all for being patrons and supporting us. T. That's you all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that tho tho tho that that that. that, that, th th th th th th. tho th. th. that that. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that to to to to to the to to to the best. You enabled Katie to buy at Black Christmas.
That's true. Your $10 a month this month, one of you,
plus one of you, $5 people bought me the film Black Christmas. Thank you so much.
It's so kind of you. It really is.
I just need Allen to reimburse me from the World Family Account.
We'll do.
Katie, speaking of reimbursement.
Happy holidays.
What do you want to reimburse me for?
What are we going to reimburse these people with next time?
Wait, do I owe them?
I don't know. I feel like I owe everybody.
The feeling my feeling is they owe us. What movie are we doing next week for New Year's?
So I was going to say traditionally we've done a Romcom, but I'm not sure if we've done it one year, two years, maybe three, maybe just one? I don't know.
So instead of doing a Romcom, because no one in this zoom call
feels like being romantic or cheeky.
We're gonna do the eighth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise,
Fate of the Furious.
So my rationale for the Kitty gave me a bunch of choices,
and my rationale for choosing this movie
was that in the posters, it's Fate F8.
And I was like, oh, that's very on brand for us.
And it's also on brand for us to start with a numbered movie
that we've not seen any of the other movies. I have to say, well, we'll talk about it next week.
Yeah, we'll talk about it next week.
So we'll come back next week for the fate of the Furious,
which I rented on Amazon.
It was worth every one of my $4.
Spoilers.
Have a great holiday, whatever you celebrate.
Have a great holiday, whatever you tell you. I hope that it's good this year, even though it's going to be weird for everybody. Yeah, it sucks and everything sucks and reach out if you need us.
Reach off via email because that's like the only thing we read, sorry.
Because guess what? We're millennials, old millennials.
I am.
Al-Awn's humor.
Anyway, social media is just hard for us.
I'm actually a member of the greatest generation. Yeah. Well, Gen X. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. So. So. So. So. So. So'm actually a member of the greatest generation. Yeah, well, Gen X.
Yeah.
But yeah, you guys have helped us so much, like, get through this year as well, like as much
as everyone says that we've helped them, like, it's reciprocal.
Absolutely.
And Katie, I can't thank you enough for doing this with me.
It's meant the world to me. Alan, thank you, I love you.
We're not breaking up though.
We have to do this until one of us is dead.
You're not trying to break up with me, are you?
No, just well, I can thank you and not want to break up with you at the same time.
That's not how thing you've ever said to me. And you've definitely said I love you a bunch to me.
And you said, yes, it's still the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Everyone, happy holidays.
We'll see you next week for the fate of the Furious.
It'll be fun.
It'll be fun.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearable Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Maybe Axon on Dead Pools, Savini's sightings at the pool.
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