Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 319- New Mutants (2020)

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

In this week's episode...IT'S A CROSSOVER! We met up with Jon & Josef from the Marveling at Marvel's Marvels podcast to discuss the 2020 Marvel horror (?) film (??) "New Mutants." It was a not a great... entrée into the Marvel universe for Katie. No, in fact it was terrible. Special topics for your consideration include the most comic book talk that has ever appeared on this show, Big Bear Doin' Thangs and quite frankly bad writing, bad directing, bad accents, bad acting...who says you can't have it all?? Regardless, a very special thank you to MatMM for having so much fun with us.  Do you like horror movies based on comic books? You may enjoy Episode 70- "30 Days of Night." Maybe you just like the concept of comics? Just settle in and watch "Creepshow" (Episode 21). If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. This week we hit #1 in our category in Sri Lanka and we genuinely cannot tell you what a thrill it was.  Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get bonus episodes about action movies Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 How do we start this? I think you just did. Yeah. Wait, are we on your podcast or are you on our podcast? It's a crossover. How do we start this? I think you just did. Yeah. Wait, are we on your podcast or are you on our podcast? It's a crossover. So this is Marveling of Marvels, Marvels, and Where Wolf Ambulance. Oh, you had to say it. Oh, I'm sorry. Gady, go ahead. Waird. Waird. Waulf ambulance. Wonderful. And Alan, I'm so excited to see your face and hear your voice again. Not that I don't do that every other Tuesday normally anyway, but it's still wonderful to see you.
Starting point is 00:00:45 I know this is a little bit weird for me, like Alan quit your podcast and is just doing the podcast with me now. Like, it seems like going to see your old band playing without you. And bringing your new band? Yeah, I'm going to my ex-girlfriend's engagement party. Like, hey, how's it going? No, I'm sure you'll be really happy. Yeah, yeah, it's great, great. You guys have a lovely home here. You're pregnant.
Starting point is 00:01:10 That's wonderful. And they haven't even replaced me on base yet. Yeah, we don't need. We realize we weren't losing anything without you. Oh, my God. It has been a massive void. As you've probably heard, Alan. We've, we've, we, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the the the th, th, the th, the the th, the the th, th, th, th, th, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, it's th, great, great, great, thi, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, thii thi thi thi thi thi thi, great, great my God. Christ, no, no, oh. Brutal. It has been a massive void. As you've probably heard, Alan, we've tried to fill you with others, but you know, it's an empty space. It's an today's in our podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:37 I hope Katie's enjoying your presence. I am quite frankly. Although, you know, we were just borrowing you from Katie, yeah. It tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha, it tha, tha, tha, thu and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th. th. th, th, th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the. We, thea, that's, tooooooooo. We, toooooo. It's, the. It's, the. It's, th were just borrowing you from Katie. Yeah. It's true. It took away from me, which I never really liked. Another thing that I don't really like is this movie you've selected for us this week. Whoa, whoa, hold on. Who's the you in that situation? Because it certainly wasn't me.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Who selected this? It wasn't me? Well, you, you, wewe. We, th. We, th. We. We. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th..................................................... I............................................ to... to. to. to...... to.... And yeah, I brought it back up because my son got it for Christmas from my mother-in-law. There's so much about this movie that screams this is appropriate for 10-year-old. Oh my gosh. But hey, you know, what are you going to do? Was your son bad this year? I was going to give you a cold but instead I gave you new moons. It's funny that you say that it's not appropriate for kids. I was looking at my notes.
Starting point is 00:02:26 One of my notes just says, this feels like a goose bumps, but are you afraid the dark is much better and scarier than this? That's exactly what I felt the whole time, especially every time you saw the giant bear monster thing. Yeah, go ahead. kids movie that's like trying to be edgy and tough, you know? Even like they diverged a lot from the character's origin stories and a little bit from their powers and stuff, but in a way that was like we need to make these more horrible, you know, like just stupid shit like, like Sam, like his origin in
Starting point is 00:03:00 the comics is that he saves his family or his uncle and other people from a coal mine because he's forced as a teenager to origin origin origin origin origin origin to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories stories to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the to to the the to to their to to their their their their their the comics is that he saves his family or his uncle and other people from a coal mine because he's forced as a teenager to work in a coal mine because you know everybody believes that in like modern age children are still working in coal mines but whatever. And he like saves people like he rescues them with his power and instead they make the decision to make it like no no let's have him murder and splatter everybody with his power because that's more horrible because this is horror. Is this this this this this this this this. this is th. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it, th. Is it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi, thi's thi's thi's the, because he's the, because he's th the, because he's the, because he's th. Because he's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi's thi's thi's their, their, thi, thi, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, their, their, their, the decision to make it like, no, no, no, let's have him murder and splatter everybody with his power, because that's more horrible, because this is horror. Is it, is this horror? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:33 It feels like kids level horror. Yeah, definitely. It does feel like a shitty goosebumps, for sure. I have no experience with the Marvel universe whatsoever. So are these characters their own thing? Because they referenced the X-Men in it too. And I wasn't sure if it was an offshoot? I have a lot of expertise here, so allow me to fill in the gap. Please do. So basically Stranger Things, which is in the X-Men Universe, combined with Game of Thrones, and that actually also merged with Thomason, who you made me remember from the the the the the the the the the the the the thuu.. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, thu, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, because, because, because, the, the, the, the, the, the, thu. And, thu. I, thu. I, thu. I, thu. I, thu. I, thu. I, thu. I, thu. I, thean, thean. I'm, thean. And, thean. And, thean. And, thean. And, thean. And, thean. And, thea. And,, who you made me remember from the Witch.
Starting point is 00:04:05 So those are all in the DC universe. And they just kind of merged together and it makes total sense. It's all canon. John, let me take it away from here. No, he's lying to. The Witch isn't in the Marvel, in the MCU. So is the Fox version of it is certainly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of it.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Yeah, yeah. No, in the, so in the Marvel Universe, the whole thing, like you've seen the X-Men movies, you know the X-Men, you know, you see in the cartoon? No, God, no. What, I literally has no experience in the Marvels. that's like a Freddy Kruger hand. Wolverine. Yeah, that's what I say. Most X-Men have hands. Holy shit. Katie, so we're starting a podcast where I present Marvel characters to somebody who doesn't know Marvel.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I think we found a perfect replacement for me. Yes, Joseph, you're the new Alan and Katie's going to be the new Joseph. I love it. This is fantastic. Perfect. But in the Marvel universe, so you've got people who are mutants. Some people are born with this mutant gene that makes them have like weird powers, like shoot laser beams out of their eyes, grow claws out of their back of the hand, whatever, whatever. And in that universe. One moment. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:19 He has a question. So people know what mutants are. You would be like brought up in the fiction of the Yes, yes. In the in the Marvel universe like when they started this in the 60s the creators of the X-Men they used it as a substitute for racism and the civil rights movement. While simultaneously being racist and misogynific. No, they're really progressive. Like looking at it through a 2020 lens yeah it's real fucking while simultaneously being racist and misogynistic and so. No, they were really progressive. Like, looking at it through a 2020 lens, yeah, it's real fucking problematic.
Starting point is 00:05:49 But looking at it through a 60s lens, it was very much like, holy shit, these people are fucking, you know, these people are crazy liberals who are trying to destroy America values kind of thing. But no, in the 60s, though, this was like their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, th. to, the. to, th. the. thi. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thing. But no, in the 60s though, this was like them telling stories about racism without having, you know, without specifically addressing the civil rights movement. Okay. Without having any people of color in it. Yeah. No, no, they did. You had storm eventually. their thin. theyrown, eventually. Theen. The. The. A. A. thr. the, their, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the beginning, right? No, no, no, he was there much later. No, that first version was all white. Well, that's the way to tackle civil rights.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Yes, yes, yes, yes. But in it too, they did, like in the comics, you had the good guys and then you had the bad mutants were trying to fight for equality and fighting for, you know, a place at the table with normal humans, and then the supposedly bad mutants were the mutants who were like, we are superior to humanity and we need a, you know, we need to fight for equality and superiority. And it was, as the years went on, this became much more complex, where they talked about like the two sides. They saw it, they saw it much more as like the X-Men and their team was like the Martin
Starting point is 00:07:14 Luther King Jr. view of civil rights and the ones that were supposedly the evil mutants were the Malcolm X kind of view of the much more militant. And as time went on, it became much grayer, you know, that it wasn't necessarily there was a good and evil side. It was just two different philosophies of trying to get equality. But the new mutants in that universe then, I'm going deep into this, I'm so sorry, but in the Marvel universe, in this X-Men world, the new mutants were like the children. So when they brought in kids with mutations, they would join the new mutants and they were the ones who were like training up and just learning their powers before they could, you know, as Joseph likes to said, before they could join like the X-Men Chil-Armie. They had to the-o'-ohmute. Oh, yeah, thu. Oh, thu. Theau, they's, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, their. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, their. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, their. they're their, they're, their, their, they they their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. They their. They're, they're their. They're they're they're their. They're, they're they're they're their. They're they're they're they're they're they're their. they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're their. They're their. Oh, yeah, that's another thing. It's totally a child army like all the mutants They're like literally this guy has a school with mutants with powers and he gives them all a uniform
Starting point is 00:08:10 And flies them around the world to fight other people with powers. It's a fucking child army Yeah, that's not great. Am I wrong? It was that an incorrect description? No, you're not wrong. Yeah, you're not wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the the because the doctor tells Danny that she's a mutant and Danny's like, gotcha. And I was like, wait. That's fucked up. Yeah, in this movie too was intended to follow all the X-Men movies in that same universe. So this is a world where they know mutants exist. X-Men are superheroes. There are good mutants. There are evil mutants, and it's just a thing.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Your neighbor could be a mutant. You never know. When does this take place in the Marvel Universe? Like, is this? It must be before Logan, because the world isn't all like shady. I guess it might be. You don't really see much. They're terrible about it. The Fox X-Men movies were always terrible about their timeline and continuity.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Like this movie uses like when Danny sees into the mind of Dr. Reyes and she's seeing like the experiments on the kids and shit like that, they used footage from Logan. So it's like, okay, is this in this weird dystopian future of Logan? Is this in the timeline with the other X-Men? And I honestly I think th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thox. tho-like tho-like tho-like tho-like thi-like, thi-like, thi-like, thi-like, thi-like, thi-like, thi-like, thi in the timeline with the other X-Men? And I honestly think, I think it was just sloppy and lazy that they were just using footage they had around and like, fuck it, just throw in some Logan footage were done. I don't think anybody cared that much about this movie. May I read you a quote from the director of this film that I think puts his understanding of cinema into greater, shines a light on it. He had previously said that he does not like horror films,
Starting point is 00:09:48 except for classic ones such as the Exorcist Rosemary's Baby and The Shining, but was looking to pioneer and champion doing prestige versions of horror films based on his love for horror novels such as Stephen King's works. What? Wait, what? What? After that quote, I just wrote, Dildo. Does he think that there are not films made of Stephen King's Works? Oh, what? But are they prestige? I didn't even know what that means, but he literally named one of Stephen King's works as his favorite movies.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Okay. All right, good, good, good, good. Good. I just hope the person interviewing him was just making slow jerk off noise. The entire time he was like, doing his, his, did you look at his filmography? The, uh, the works of Josh Boone? I did not, now. Yeah, so the only thing that I'd ever fucking heard of he had done was the fault in our stars? I've heard that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the their th. their, th. their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, the entire, the entire, the entire, the entire, the entire, the entire, the entire, the entire, their, their, their, their, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they. Yeah, yeah, yeah, their, or, or, or, or, their. Yeah was the fault in our stars. I've heard that's good. Is that about cancer kids? It's one of the dead kids? Yes, yeah, it's about cancer kids falling in love and of course the all you know one of them is going to die but which dies first. Where's the tragedy? This is about mutant kids. Yeah, you've got a stick. Yeah, none of them are dying though. So you know, thi. theyn't are th th th th them. them. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's going their thi's thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeea. thea. thea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the the thoooooooo the things in this movie. Did you notice that like for some reason they had multiple shower scenes with these kids and all these kids were like showering together?
Starting point is 00:11:08 And what? Why is that? Was that in the fault North Starz too? Is this guy, is that a thing? I don't, I don't, I don't, well yeah, yeah. It seems like a kind of perve thing. Apparently, this guy also made a television miniseries of The Stand, which is currently airing on CBS All Access. Is it prestige? I don't know. I feel like if it's on CBS and has Greg Kinnear in it, probably not. But it does have a Scar's guard, but it does have will be Goldberg, so I don't, I really don't know. I want to be the first one to film a Stephen King movie.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Maybe you've heard of this guy. I love The Shining, I wish someone would do a Stephen King movie. What, this guy was also, I haven't seen anything from it in like the last two years, but there were old articles that apparently he was going to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a th.. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th.. I, th.. I, th.. I, th. I, thin, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. I'm, thin, probably, thin, probably, th. I'm, thin, probably, th. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I probably, the thi, thi two years, but there were old articles that apparently he was going to be doing a remake of Interview with the Vampire, where his plan was to have Jared Lido play Lestat. You know what? I'd watch that. I mean, I'd watch it. I'd watch it.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Wait, wait. Hold it. Wait, hold. Would you watch it for a pleasure to movie and you have to for your podcast or would you watch it for pleasure? No, the first. Sure, let's go with that. Yeah, there's no pleasure we had from that. I can't remember the last time we did a movie that gave me pleasure. Wait, so do you not like horror movies? No, I love them. We just do shit movies lately. Well, sorry that we slash John contributed to that. I thought that's what you guys did. No, I mean, it is, kind of in many ways.
Starting point is 00:12:49 How dare you say that about Dracula 2000? Can I read you another quote from this Josh Boone fella? Can I read you another quote from this? this Katie for a little backstory, um, Sunspot the Brazilian character in this? Is that Roberto? It's Roberto, yes. Was that that that that that that that that that that is it is it is that that that is that is that is that is that is that that is that is that is that that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is it is it is it is it is it is it is the th. It is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the rich? It's the rich the rich the rich the rich guy. It's the rich guy. It's the rich guy. It's the rich guy. It's the rich guy. It's the rich guy. It's the rich guy. It's the the th. It's the the Sunspot the Brazilian character in this. Is that Roberto? It's Roberto, yes. Was that the rich guy who's always cleaning for some reason? Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Throughout his history in the Marvel Universe, he has been lightwashed. He was originally like a dark-skinned Brazilian, and they have slowly whitewashed him. And so, when they cast Henry Zaga to play him, people were like, but he's supposed, to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to cast Henry Zaga to play him people were like but he's supposed to be Brazilian and African he should be darker skinned and Josh Boone hit us with this quote he added that he was not concerned with the real-life racism that existed in Brazil that he wanted the character to be a positive representation of the nation what? If I if I... What? This guy is apparently in a lot of his works.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Well, maybe not a lot, but he's also in the stand. Yeah, that's, this is, um, yeah, this guy sounds, well, the Marvel Universe sounds, this all sounds bad to me. I would say if you would also Google Cecilia Reyes, the character of the doctor, because that's one that everybody, like when this happened, there was a lot of press around them kind of whitewashing Roberto. Dr. Reyes, though, in the comics was very, very much a very dark woman, And she was absolutely lightwashed for this. Like, it's...
Starting point is 00:14:29 So they took two black characters out of this movie. Yes, yes. And their argument was, well, both characters are of Latinx origins, like Cecilia Rays is a Puerto Rican woman and Roberto in the comic books is a Brazilian man, but in both cases they're very, very dark-skinned people. You know, they're... But that's like when people are like, I'm not racist against black people, my best friend's Puerto Rican.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Like, it's adjacent. It's real weird. I've never heard anyone say thatthat and I'm fucking repulsed. I'm not racist, I'm related to a bunch of Italians. But it did have a Native American lead which is cool and I don't think that happened super often. Yeah, for sure. I said something positive about this movie.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Yeah, and I mean, which is weird and I mean it's especially, you know, this movie was post, Ghost in the Shell, and tons of other scandals of, you know, of whitewashing or light washing of characters, and it seemed like they really just did not give a fuck in this case. It was like, okay, yeah, whatever. Whoa, whoa, are you telling me that Scarlet Johansson is not Japanese? me that Scarlet Johansson is not Japanese? Yes, yes, I certainly am. And I mean the thing is too, that's a character that, you know, I mean, it's just even in the animation, I mean, it's a character in the style that's drawn, like, a lot of those anime characters are drawn pretty, I guess, you know, western Caucasian. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, even that was like fucking scandalous that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. And I mean, even that was like fucking scandalous that, you know, that that casting, I'm kind of surprised that they tried to get away with it in this one. I'm just not concerned with real life racism.
Starting point is 00:16:13 But like, it's like nobody knows these characters super well, do they? Right. Yeah, and that might be part of it, but I mean, more people know the new mutants than no ghosts in the shell. I th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. that th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that that might, that that that that that that that that the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. more people know the new mutants than no ghost in the shell. I was going to say, I really want to touch on another thing that's a pretty disastrous in this film, and that would be Ania Taylor Joy's Russian accent. Oh, Thomason, yeah. It was awful. She just gives up on it halfway through the movie. I think it was better than the Stranger Things Kid, to be from Kentucky, to to to to to to to to to to to to to the stranger things kid trying to be from Kentucky question mark that was upsetting he was great he can't act his way out of a white paper bag I almost felt like he was looking into the camera being like I don't know he turned to like an old time he gold prospector at one point
Starting point is 00:17:02 it was just like... He sucks. Did you like him in Stranger Things? I hate him in Stranger Things. Do you like, I feel like he's made quite a career for himself out of being like sweaty and like a little bit scared, you know? Yeah, I was gonna say he, there was only one shower he never got a chance to use it in this movie. I mean, there's... Yeah. Poor, poor. the the their. their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was. I was that. I was that. I was that. I was that. I was that. I was that. I was that. I was that. I was th. I was that. He's that. He's that. He's th. He's th. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He. He. He. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was t, I was too. I was a too. I was too. I was too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. th. too. He never got a chance to use it in this movie. I mean, there's. Yeah, poor, poor rain was always in the shower.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Sam couldn't get in there. Poor kid. It's also weird seeing these actors like way younger than movies that you've already seen. Like it was weird saying Thomas and younger than she looked in the witch. It was weird seeing A the f- th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thine thine thine thien. thien. thia thioom. thioom. thi. thi. thiollion, thiol-I thoomoyoyan, thi, thi, thoom-I thoom-I thoom-I poor tho-I poor tho-I poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor poor, poor poor, poor, poor, poor poor, poor, poor, thoom, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I was weird, thi. I was, thi. I was weird, thi. I was thi. I was too, thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. theauuuuu thi. thiau thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi in the witch. It was weird saying Aria Stark as like a baby. And what the fuck is going on here? And then you remember this movie's like eight years old, right? Yeah, how long ago was this filmed? 2017.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Well, the blonde girl was Queen's Gambit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't realize until looking shit up. I was like Scampett. I really couldn't. Tammy was watching, I've watched a couple episodes with her here and there, and I would see stuff like, oh yeah, and I just, yeah, I don't know anybody's name. I barely know the names of people I work with. How am I supposed to remember a character on the show I don't watch? Katie. Katie. the the the the th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi's thi thi. I'm thi's thi's thi's them. I'm tapy tapy tapy's tam. I really tam. I really tam. I really tam. I really tam. I really t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I thi. I tape. I'm really really really really today, I'm really today, I'm really today, I really really today, I really today, I really really today, I really really today, I really really. Katie were you shocked when the puppet dragon turned into a real dragon? I don't remember that I'm sorry it's been over a week since I watched this movie. Okay I remember the dragon that's it. Let me look at my notes to see if I was shocked.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Why you wait why you're looking for that I was also wondering so Thomason had the power to like teleport the hell or whatever but she's the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I thea. I'm. I'm. tea. I'm. tea. thea. I'm. to. I'm. to. to. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I th. Why, wait, why are you looking for that? I was also wondering, so Thomason had the power to like teleport the hell or whatever, but she's a prisoner, but she can teleport. Yeah, that didn't make any fucking sense either. And too, like, her little dimension that she pops into, she was like, this was a happy place I created to escape from like the fucking European slave traders. Oh, your happy place is hell. That's fucking wonderful. That's, that's, that's, that's, and a post-apocalyptic wasteland is where I go and I need to relax.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Like, yeah, well, in the comics, I mean, this is another, this is a case where, again, they're like, why the fuck did you make that part of the story? Like in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...... to, ta, t part of the story. Like in the comics, she literally goes to hell. Like, her power is she can teleport to and from hell. And one of the big things in the comic books is, she's like a 10-year-old girl at this school. She manifests her mutant powers and disappears, and she's gone for like a week. And when she comes back, she's 17. And the thing was she had thakeakeck th. th. th. th. th, she was th. th, she was th. the, she was the, she was thuuic she was thus, she was thii, she was thi, she was thi, that she was thiolvuicicicicicicen, thi, thi, that she's thiolk, thiolk, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, theeeeean, thin. thean, thiiiii. thean, thi. thi. thi. thi. spent seven years trying to survive and becoming a badass wizard in hell.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And she comes back and she's got this like sword and she can make armor and she's a witch and she's a crazy badass. And it's to everybody who knew her like her older brother, everybody else. They're like, oh, this is Ilyana. This is still, this is my 10-year-old sister. What the fuck happened? And she's like this hard-e-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s th-a-s th-s th-a-a-s th-a-a-a-s, tho-s, thi-s, th-s, th-s, tho-s, this is still, this is my 10-year-old sister, what the fuck happened? And she's like this hard-edge badass who lived the last, who lived her life in hell. She went away and came back as a living embodiment of a Ronnie James Dio album? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of which, all right, this is completely off topic, but comic book related, I guess,
Starting point is 00:20:26 they're doing a fucking graphic novel based on the album cover of Holy Diver. Have you seen this? No. It's fucking nuts. I mean, it's just like, I was reading some article and they're like, I really want to know the back story, what's going on with that demon and the priest on the front of the Ronnie James Dio album, or the fucking Dio album. It's like, yeah, yeah. But the connection to New Mutants, the artist who drew the New Mutant storyline that this movie was borrowed a lot from, Bill Sinkowitz, he did like the cover in some of the art
Starting point is 00:20:58 for that Deo graphic novel, which is so fucking weird. But I'm sorry but anyways new mutants yeah yeah so we meet this character Danny as her house is being torn apart by something we can't see and of course her father has to die because everybody's parents have to die in this movie I think that's what happens when there's a hurricane or tornado and you tell everyone to go outside right like that's me they think it is don't do that's what happens when there's a hurricane or tornado, and you tell everyone to go outside. Right? Like, if that's what you think it is, don't do that. A what now? But her dad is played by Adam Beach, who is an actor that I really enjoy. What do you know? I have that. Oh, God. I knew you were going to say that as soon as I said that he's in a movie that's th movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written a movie that's a movie that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's written. that's written. that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written that's written a that's written that's written that's written. that's written. that's written. that's written Signals from like the 90s. It's like a Native
Starting point is 00:21:45 American like indie movie. He's also in Barry my Heart at Wounded Knee and flags of our fathers and he just seems to be a pretty good dude and he's a pretty good actor. For a brief time he got the roles that Lou Diamond Phillips used to get that was that was kind of his place coming up in Hollywood because you'd see him and stuff and it's like, oh yeah, yeah. Oh, LDP. So then we just see her wake up in this hospital institution like chained to a bed and this woman's
Starting point is 00:22:16 talking her down. And that's your opening to this movie, this lighthearted romp. Yeah, which why, why bother chaining her to the bed if you're just going to immediately release her and talk her down? Like chaining her completely set her off when she woke up. If she'd woke up like not chained, she would have been pretty calm and not needed talking down. Also, if you're planning on stealing children and like kidnapping them and, you know, hiding them in this place because they're too powerful. Maybe have more staff because as far as I can tell you have the doctor who has a power to have a force field but she's got to sleep at some point and you have like five kids
Starting point is 00:22:50 any one of which could probably kill her if they wanted to. One of them can teleport out of there but anyway yes. They're stuck here. They're even know they're like oh, Dr. Ray. Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the their their their the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to, why is she the only adult in charge? Nope. Nobody has an answer. How do they know that Moonstar is a mutant? I, I, no idea. I got the answer to this one, because their dad's dead. That's the only ever time I think I've laughed at someone saying because their dad's dead. Because apparently everybody in this movie has to kill their father at some point.
Starting point is 00:23:29 So, or their girlfriend. Or their girlfriend. What is the corporation? Are the Essex corporation? So that is the, the Essex corporation is Nathaniel Essex, who in the X-Men universe is a big villain, Mr. Sinister, who is this kind of... The appropriate response! This is wonderful! I'm so happy, like Katie, seriously, any time, if I can't make
Starting point is 00:23:53 marvelling, can you stick my place? This is fucking perfect. Yes, his name is Mr. Sinister and he's a super, we might have to get the hangouts going just so I can throw pictures of these guys. His, he's basically super pale, like, like, like, like, like, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, thi-like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the appropriate, the appropriate, the appropriate, the appropriate, the appropriate, the appropriate, have to get the hangouts going just so I can throw pictures of these guys, he's basically super pale like white, white skin, like literal white skin, and like shiny metal armor and a red diamond on his forehead. There you go, Alan's got a picture there for you Katie. That's Mr. Sinister, that's Nathaniel Essex is his, is his normal person name. He's corny. Yeah, that's a corny name. Why does he want to train children to be killers?
Starting point is 00:24:30 What is happening is what I'm asking you. I have no fucking clue in this. In the comics, like his big motivation stuff is he collects DNA. He's obsessed with manipulating and cloning and getting unique specimens of DNA, so he just like collects specimens of mutants. I'm not absolutely certain what is going on here. Apparently he was hinted to in like a post-credit sequence in an earlier X-Men movie, but I have no idea what was going on here. Wait, are they creating an army? Because in this, it's unclear what they're doing to the kids.
Starting point is 00:25:04 They kind of hint at it. Yeah, we want to use use their their their to use the it's unclear what they're doing to the kids. They kind of hint at, yeah, we want to use you as a weapon. But then Dr. A's like tries to kill one of them and it's giving them like therapy. Like I don't understand what the point. It seems like what I gather from that was that they are trying to, they're try are try are try are try try try try try try try try try to basically like condition these kids to where they're controllable. And when she submits her computer report to Dr. Essex or her supervisor or whatever, he says that based on the assessment of Danny, that she is too uncontrollable and too volatile and they just have to kill her because they won't be able to control her. Yeah, like, what analysis is the computer doing to decide to terminate subjects? It's just like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and when thi, and when thi, thi, and when thi, and when thi, and when thi, and when thi, and when thi, and when thi, and when thi, and when thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thr-s, they's thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thi, thi, like what analysis is the computer doing to decide to terminate subjects?
Starting point is 00:25:46 It's just like, it just like, she just types in a name and it's like, nah, kill. And you're like, what? She spells Danny with one N and an eye? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe she just wasn't, she wasn't white enough for his army, so he's like, kill her. I kill kill her. Whoa, my mutant children must be pure. I will say that if I have to pick something that I enjoyed out of this movie, it was Danny and Raines interactions. That's the only thing I was like, oh, this feels like a honest, like I would watch this
Starting point is 00:26:26 teen, you know, love story movie. And Rain's story as a whole, like I agree with you, like her story is actually kind of good, but you don't get into it enough. And same thing with Moonstar, like it's like, oh, it's kind of interesting and then the movie just kind of peter's off. And then they have to thr-like, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, th. the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the. te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, their, te, to, te, to, te, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, that grows and that's nice, but then it doesn't, it's so underdevelopment it doesn't really go anywhere and you have to suffer through the rest of the movie. Yeah, and it seemed like, it seemed like they were making a lot of assumptions on knowledge of the characters, which again, it's fucking new mutants. It's most people watching this movie aren't going to know that much about them. Three of four of us don't know anything about the fucking new mutants other than maybe superficial with Joseph and Allen. It's you know there it's yeah yeah I remember cannonball. Yeah you hated to do it. What's cannonball? That is a Kentucky.
Starting point is 00:27:18 That's the guy from Kentucky. Gotcha. With a broken wrist for the whole movie did the actor just break his wrist or like why did they do that? It may have, it's just so fucking lazy, they could have been. He tried to break his arm to leave the set and they wouldn't let him go. He's like filing a workers comp claim they're like no, get back to set. But sir, I don't want to chew to chew off his arm to get out of the cuffs to leave. No. They caught me again. I'm from Kentucky. Kentucky. His accent home.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Why couldn't they just get a southern person? Why? Why did it have to be an Englishman? Why did they only show Anya Taylor Joy, Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons to figure out what a Russian might sound. Like a reference for all you kids out there. And they also gave her a ton of bad lines because like I can't even recall what they were but they're really, really bad cliche lines. Especially at the end when she was fighting the thing like when she kind of turned to like a warrior wizard all of a sudden. And she says I must break you. Another one was like lions and tigers and bears, oh my, I think she said. Yes. Yeah. But it's like lions and tigers and bears. Oh my. Oh my. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:38 Why does she care at all about saving Danny when she did not care momentarily beforehand? No idea. It's not at all explained. Nothing is explained. Her dragon came to life, so maybe it's her Jiminy cricket. And one of her arms is metal now. Yeah. Okay, so the other part of the plot line is that this girl accidentally killed her dad, we realized later, and her town or whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:04 She has taken here as hostage with a bunch of other kids, and her power manifests as making people's nightmares come real, including her own. So that's supposed to be the horror element in this movie. You're watching everyone's deepest darkest fears, come to the screen, and them having to deal with it. I wasn't clear as to what, likethese things are physical manifestations it seems like because they're like hitting it and there's a dead body on the ground or there's
Starting point is 00:29:26 like a big bear biting through the walls and stuff right? Yeah and that's the I mean that's at least in the comics her power is these kind of their psychic manifestations so they can hurt you but they just they eventually just just they eventually just disperse you know I mean they're kind of disappear. It's, yeah. It's not super clear and it was even less clear in this. It was just kind of, yeah, yeah, it didn't make any fucking sense. Do you think it could have been scary? Like it wasn't? But do you think the idea of people, I mean, having to fight against your deepest fears and shit like that, that can be scary if you're fucking competent, you know, it's, it, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, that's thi, thi, thi, thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, yeah, thi, thi, yeah, thi, yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, thi, thi, they. Yeah, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, it's, it's that's that's thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, know, it's... I mean, that's... What if your fears are like, like, mediocrity or like a, like a downturn economy? Like, like, how does that represent itself?
Starting point is 00:30:12 I mean, I, I mean, I, I feel like horror movies have done that before, right? They've dealt with angsts and fear. I mean, that's Ros Rose Mary's baby. I mean the fear of being a parent kind of like manifest in like this, and I mean the whole fucking thing is just psychological horror, you know, and that's, but then you've got. Jacob's Ladder, the fear of dying. Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, there are good horror movies. It's just, they're not made by Josh Boone. This is prestige, John. Prestige. Yes, yes, sorry, sorry. You know, they planned this originally to be a trilogy. Oh God.
Starting point is 00:30:54 He wrote this and he had to do with his most recent round of edits. He said part of the reason the movie was delayed because he had to edit it so it didn't seem so, it didn't seem so, it didn't seem so, leave so many questions out there hanging. Whoops, a doozy. So wait, so there's multiple edits and this is the best one that they found? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, apparently they were like, yeah, you can do three of them.
Starting point is 00:31:18 They saw the movie and went, did we say three? You know what, we better better better better better their their their their their their their their their their their th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better th. We better sell th. We better sell th. We'll that, th. We're th. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the sell to fucking Disney before everybody sees this. Because that, I mean, all the actors are seemingly competent. Yeah. If they don't have to do accents, yeah. It's the director's fault, right? Like, it's written badly to. There's nothing to it that makes sense. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's written poorly. It's written poorly. It's the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to thiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol- thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tha. tha. tha. to tha. toea. tha. All tha. tha. All tha. tha. All tha. All tha. All tha. All tha. All his fault. Yeah, yeah. It's written poorly.
Starting point is 00:31:45 It mostly shot poorly. It's like trying to be a horror movie, but it's not a horror movie. And it's like things are simultaneously rushed and it moves too quickly. Like all the pacing's wrong. Like, after finishing it, it just felt so forgettable. It wasn't so awful that it's even fun to watch. I just, literally, we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched we all watched a the thing. Well, there's the John Husey and Lie detector scene. There's...
Starting point is 00:32:06 Yes. Was there? Oh, in the attic, right? Breakfast Club, yeah. What, he, he, I saw a couple interview things with him where multiple times he talked about how this was going idea. I just think that if you're going to make a movie, you have to assume that no one knows the characters you're making the movie about. So you have to introduce them.
Starting point is 00:32:29 And I feel like horror movies do this all the time where, you know, even if it's just a throwaway line of like, well, you know a silver, you've established this, but nothing is established in this movie. They're just like, you're a mutant, you're a mutant, you're a mutant, the corporation, and now your friends. And it's like, what? Yeah, like, like, even they, they constantly make like, the, I guess, the inside reference of my superior, my superior. For that, the assumption is that you know that Professor X-Men and he trains mutants. So it's like this kind of like secret reference to like you're supposed to think from the beginning that this is a Professor X-run school. I didn't get that at all because I was like, oh, like Professor X is evil, but this seems eviler. And so I was like, I have no idea who this company is or who that's supposed to be, and I'm on a Marvel podcast.
Starting point is 00:33:25 I felt like like three quarters of the way they were through the movie, they were like, oh, so we're going to be X-Men with Professor X-X, I gotcha. Yeah, yeah, and then like, yeah, and they tried to be like, and this is up the X-Men, I was like, wait, what the fuck? Can I ask a question about the X-Men? Yeah. Are they bad guys? Yes. No, so the X-Men are heroes,
Starting point is 00:33:57 but in the eyes of the world, like the world sees them as villains because to the world, all mutants are evil. People are evil. If you're born a mutant, you're a bad person and you're dangerous and you need to be stopped. Katie, do you remember Blackwater, that like paramilitary company that like the U.S. Army would hire out and they just do like horrible massacres around the world? That is not the X-Men.
Starting point is 00:34:22 The X-Men have the X-Men. That's roughly, the X-Men have their own, like, fighter jet. They have their own army, literally with their own uniforms. They fly around the world outside of American jurisdiction and do whatever the fuck they want. You can tech, you can say the same thing about every fucking superhero team. All superhero's. Yes. Spider-Man, there was briefly an evil Spider-Man where Dr. Octopus took over his brain, but that's, that's a whole different thing.
Starting point is 00:34:49 We can't go there, John. I feel like I just watched you open a rabbit hole and dive in. Oh my God. You also watched him successfully pull himself back out of the rabbit hole. Yeah, that was really impressive. So, you know what's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's out of the rabbit hole. Yeah, that was really impressive, yeah. So, you know what's not really that scary? Hmm. A giant smoke bear. Yeah, I felt no tenion around this giant smoke bear. It felt very, yeah, it felt very goose-bumsy.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Like, this was just, like a childhood monster, but you are an adult, and you're watching you're like, okay, it's a big bear. Oh my Gerd. So in the, this is again diving into the rabbit hole, so in the comics the storyline and new mutants that they very loosely based this on was what's referred to as the demon bear storyline. And the whole premise of that is that Danny, her character has that, like the story is that when she was a kid, her parents were murdered by this giant demonic bear that was some sort of manifestation of some evil Native American demon and it killed them both and it's kind of like her grandfather was able to protect her from it
Starting point is 00:36:01 and it's haunted her all her life. And in this comic story, she sees she starts seeing visions of the demon bear and the demon bear eventually shows up and malls her and puts her into a coma and the like the hospital is trying to save her life, operate her on her all this shit. And while she's unconscious, her friends have to fight against this demon bear. They go into like this pocket dimension to fight against this demon bear, they go into like this pocket dimension to fight against the demon bear on the spirit realm, all this shit, and eventually they stop and destroy the demon bear, and when they do, they free Danny's parents who were captured and used as an anchor in this world by the demon bear.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Like all this kind of, like a lot of the shit in it is very abstract and it's kind of digging into this Native American spirituality in the whole, you know, the spirit world and all this shit. And it's a pretty cool kind of wild, like I said, very abstract kind of story. And this is none of that. Like literally all they did was take the idea of a bear. And that's it. Like her big fear is a bear. And that's, you know, it's just such a dumbed down, stripped down version of that.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Are we supposed to assume that at the beginning, she conjured the bear that killed everybody? I think so. That's what I thoued. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th th th, th, thi that's that's thi that's thi that's thi thi thi thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's thly. Like thly. Like thi. Like thi. Like thi. Like thi. Like thi. Like thly. Like th. Like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. that that thi. that thi. that thi. thi. that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the bear that killed everybody? I think so. That's what I thought. Yeah, I thought so, yeah, because that's her fear. Her fear is becoming a bear and killing people with it? Yes. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:39 And it also kind of seems like it's because her dad gives her that necklace and tells her a scary story when she's a little girl and she thinks there's a bear inside her that's going to kill everybody, therefore a bear's insider that kills everybody. You know, I've also heard that same line but with a wolf, like, I've also heard that same the same line, the tea. Yeah, theyr- bullshit someone made on the internet. Like, I don't think that's a real thing. Is that the, did they just take that internet thing and change it here? No, that's a, that's an old saying. That's an old, I don't know if it's a Native American saying, but it's a very, very old saying.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't that. is the one you feed kind of shit. Did you guys look up the score of this movie on Rotten Tomatoes? No. It can't be good. What is it? What do you guys think? There are some numbers here? Eleven. The critic or the fan or the aggregate? Let's do you both. Okay, so Katie says 11. You're gonna have a lot of nerds bringing comic shit. Oh, comic people are fucking nuts. Look, go look at any of the fucking shitty fucking, like the shitty Batman and Superman fight movies. Like those have high fucking ratings
Starting point is 00:38:54 because weirdo fucking super fans. Yeah, but they were good. Is that like the Ben Affleck? Yes. Yeah, yeah. The Suicide squad with the fucking Jared Leto Joker. Yeah, yeah, yeah What? Okay, so you think 50 Alan, what do you think? I'm gonna go with a dollar? I would say seven percent. Wow, okay tomato meter 35 percent. Oh, sorry I was just gonna scream that prices right rules.
Starting point is 00:39:23 I won so I carry on. Well, the audience score, John, you're right here, the audience score, 56. Go to hell. 56. I mean, Ron Tomato doesn't mean shit anymore, right? You know what, speaking as like a comic book fan, like when I was a kid, there were no fucking book movies, you had the Hulk TV show, which I fucking loved because first off it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the the the the the the the the the their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, kid, there were no fucking comic book movies. You had the Hulk TV show, which I fucking loved, because first off, it's Bill Bixby, and that's good fun. For the kids.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Yeah, plus it was the... Katie, you should know that John has gone on long rants about his love of the show, Taxi. John, in what year were you born? Oh, come on, have you watched Taxi, Katie? No, because I was born in the 80s. Seriously, it's on Hulu and Taxes Incredible. John, we can't do this again. I've heard this too many times. I just, I don't think I can take that on at this point in my life.
Starting point is 00:40:15 No, it's some funny shit, your grandmother sounds like an amazing lady. He's a year younger than I am, Katie. Okay. But, but no, like the Incredible Hulk, like there was, there was, and I mean, the Credible Hulk TV show, the only superhero I saw as a kid was fucking thrugno in green makeup. I mean, that was it. that was it. And Blayed still fucking great. that's. that. th. thuuuuuuu. that. that. that. that. that. that was. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the th. they. the they. they. they. the the they. they. they. they. they. they. the th. And when shit started coming out, like Blade was fucking exciting. It was amazing. And Blade's still fucking great.
Starting point is 00:40:48 But you know, it was any kind of fucking garbage. So like when the X-Men movie came out, it was like, yeah, it was so excited. Now going back and watching, it's like, no, that's terrible. And when was that? That was like the early 2000s or no? No that was like late 90s. Yeah like 98, 99. Maybe later. I don't know. It was it was yeah it was fucking terrible. But like none of the Fox movies have been good with maybe like first class, X-Men first class was good. Well didn't they do the Spider-Man movies? No, that was Sony. Oh, okay. I likes that one. That's that one Spider-Man. Yeah, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. Yeah. It was. Yeah. It was. It was. Yeah. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was like. It was. It was like. It was. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. Yeah. It was like. Yeah. It was the one with Toby McGuire and Kirstin Dunst. Yeah, those are good.
Starting point is 00:41:26 It was nice. Damn Rayme. Yeah, yeah, those ones are good. The ones with Andrew Garfield are fucking terrible. The social network guy. Well he was in the social network. He's an orange cat, he loves lasagna. That's the same Garfield. Yeah, yeah, the same th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, tho, tho, th, it's tho, it's tho, it's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, he loves lasagna, hates Mondays. That's the same Garfield.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Yeah, yeah, it's the same one. So certainly. I wouldn't see him as Spider-Man. But those are terrible. The new ones are real good. But I mean, it's, and I think a lot of people like, a lot of people who are like new mutants, because the comics are really good. And I think people just just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, th..... th. th. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. tho. th. thoooo. th. thooo. th. thoooo. And, I'm th. thin, I'm, I'm,the new mutant comics are really good. And I think people just get really, really excited for seeing characters they love on screen. For sure. And yeah, yeah, and I mean it doesn't matter how bad it is. I mean they look at it like I mean, they tell. their,
Starting point is 00:42:13 I mean, I admit I got a little bit of a thrill when you know they show any of the powers. the power. Oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, there are people who get fucking excited. I mean, look at the teenager, I really liked the Babysitters Club movie. It's terrible. Yeah, and I mean, yeah. And I mean, there are some people, I guarantee there are people who like cling to that. Like, look at the fucking Star Wars movies. Like, there is a fucking, th them. They are fucking terrible. But because of nostalgia, people cling on to them and they're like, this is incredible. That's what I came up on. So it's fucking good. They're not. And I mean, it's you know, like the
Starting point is 00:42:58 goonies. The guineas. That's one we can all agree on that we loved as kids, right? Yeah, yeah. Watched. Watch the go the go the go go go go go go go go go go go. Watch the go. Watch the go go. Watch the go go. Watch the go. Watch the go. Watch the go. Watch the go. Watch the go. Watch the gunies. the guonies. the guonies. the guonies. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the.? Yeah, yeah, watch the Goonies now. It's really problematic. It's not a very good fucking adventure movie. It's, uh, yeah. Stop it. You're ruining it? Is this what they do? You're like the living internet right now, John? But, but no, I mean, but the thing is like, I'll still watch it and I'll still enjoy it. I mean, it's a fun fucking movie, but I'm not gonna like, you know, I'm not gonna like go to fucking bat for it and say like, this isn't incredible. I'll say my kids should watch it. Yeah. But I'm not gonna tell adults, like, go watch the go watch the goon.
Starting point is 00:43:37 th discuss. So, so the end of this film, the children have defeated the monster, they've killed the doctor, Reyes, and they are going to walk into town. And I was wondering if they're just, we're supposed to believe that they're just going to like reintegrate into society or what are they doing from here? Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Waiting for that sequel?
Starting point is 00:44:10 That's never going to come. Maybe Dr. Reyes was actually a really good psychiatrist because these seem like really well-adjusted children for having been through all the trauma. Well, until the main character has a nightmare and murders another town. Like that's an actual problem that is going to come back up on it. Ah, no, no, no, because the one girl's got a sword. The Russian girl's got a sword. But she's in hell right now, so she can't be bothered. The one guy vibrates.
Starting point is 00:44:34 She's talking to her hand puppet. And that one lady turns into a puppy. That was pretty cute. So Tammy, Tammy was super like she watches a lot of fucking awful movies and through this she was pretty quiet through it all and then there's the point where they're tracking the doctor's blood through the hospital like the massive trail of blood through the hospital and everybody's following beat slowly behind rain so she can track it. If Tammy looked to me just very angrily, she's the only one able to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fucking the fucking the fucking the the fucking the the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking a the fucking a the fucking a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. tho. tho. tooooo. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the the the the the the the the the so she can track it. It today looked at me just very angrily. She's the only one able to see the blood because she's a dog.
Starting point is 00:45:10 She was just so pissed. That was like the straw that broke the cables back. Like, fuck you movie. You can only handle so much stupid before your brain gets angry, you know? It's true. This one, this movie really knocked that one out out out out out out out out out by the end of the first conversation that Dr. Reyes had with Danny, I was like, oh, this is fucking stupid. Ah.
Starting point is 00:45:32 They also make the terrible mistake of showing something good in the middle of their terrible. They show the hush episode of Buffy, which is like a classic Buffy episode. And it's just like, oh, why aren't I watching that? Why don't I stop watching this? And they made the monsters like the fucking rip off of the Buffy episode too. So it's like, hey, we're going to show you what we're ripping off. Look, we just rip this off. Ain't that clever. Wait, what monsters were though? The smile guys are basically the hush men. Yeah, yeah, they're like the hush monsters in Buffy.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Yeah. They're like a big Doug Jones thing. This movie is based off of a comic book, so it's not original, and then they stole monsters from another show? And reference the show in the movie. Yes. Yes. It'd be like if you had a sled named Rosebud and somebody was reading the Citizen Kane book. And you look at the camera and wink.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Get it? Get it? Get it? Oh. But why did the smile guys attack everybody? Why did the fire? the fire? And then they push it in the pool and it like stops being on fire it just came from the pool.
Starting point is 00:46:48 You need to double dunk it it's like an Oreo. You get towe it off. Why is the Russian girl so knowledgeable about Native American racism? Because she makes like a couple racist jokes to Moonstar and I'm like, wait a minute. She calls her, she calls her Pocahontas in it. I had to, sorry, I had to Google that. Yeah, like your boy did.
Starting point is 00:47:11 But like where did you learn that Ilyana? From Trump. That's what Trump was calling Elizabeth Warren. True. You think Ilianahead. Oh yeah, yeah. Speaking of, someone got beaten to death with a fire extinguisher in this movie, and I was like, uh, oh, a little unnerving now. A little too soon. Too soon. Too soon?
Starting point is 00:47:35 This is from like eight years ago. Yep. Too soon for me, anyway. I was very proud that I have the note that just says Big Bear Doing Thangs from the Bear Doer Thanks. If I could fit that reference in somewhere, thank you for introducing me to that, Katie. I only picked that in wherever I can. Big Bear doing thanks.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Can I ask what that's from? Hold on wait. Don't even, hold on, wait, wait. There we go. Try that one instead. Cool. It's one of the rare instances where an album cover is far better than the album itself. I like that one of the bears has sunglasses and is smoking a cigar. Yeah. The other one smoking a cigar, too. He just doesn't really have it in his paw. It's not Photoshop very well.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Oh, I see, I see. Oh, okay. Wait, it looks like his paw is going through it? Like, did he just pierce it with his paw? Yeah, I don't know. It's like a very square paw that one too. It's like, yeah. But I also love it there's just like nuts and nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts and vegetables nuts nuts nuts nuts and vegetables nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts and vegetables on the table because what else to bears eat? Is that salmon in the center?
Starting point is 00:48:46 It's some salmon on there too? It's so good. Big bears really look it out for his fellow bears. The more you look at it, the better it gets. Why are the bears on top? Why are their shoulders so broad? Why are the two in the back? So long-necked. I hope that when Big Bear performed he had dudes in bear costumes on stage with him. These are the doing things. Are you suggesting his backup band is the Doing Things?
Starting point is 00:49:14 The Doing Things. Big Bear is the Doin Things. God, this is so much better than that movie. Oh yeah. Those are icy bears too, damn. I kind of wish the demon bear had been wearing a smoking jacket. If it was just the rapper Big Bear walked in the ring? Somebody has to make that a reality.
Starting point is 00:49:39 Like the new, the Jurassic Park, except all the dinosaurs have been replaced with Pee Weerman? Did you guys see that? I'll send you that. Please do. It's very funny. Why are you here in the Institute Danny? The rapper Big Bear ate my family. You guys remember him right? No, no one does? Okay. Maybe that was her big fear was the rapper Big Bear. God what trash. Oh man. So now can we rate this movie? Now we want to go first first first that that that that that that that to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll.. So now can we rate this movie? Now we can write it. Who wants to go first? So I'm giving it a letter grade, correct? And then I suppose I should also give it a number grade
Starting point is 00:50:11 since we're going to put it on both podcasts. I'm going to give it a rubric. I'm going to give it an incomplete. Ooh. Hmm. I hated tune. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha tha tha tha tha tha to tha tha tha tha the the the the thi. thi. thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. tha tha tha thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toguuia. toeateateateateatea. toda. theateateateatea. theatea. thea. thea. thea.. I'm going to give it an incomplete. Ooh, didn't even turn it in. This felt like it felt like the pilot episode for a TV show that I would not want to watch after seeing the pilot episode. Yeah. But yeah, I'm going to give it an incomplete and I'm going to give it a zero. Zero, okay. Wow. Yeah, I really did not like it. Katie. I'm going to give it a 0.5. I'm going. I I I I I I'm. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the the to to to the the th. Oh, didn't the the th. I didn't didn't th th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Didn't the the th the th. Didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't to to to to the the the the the the the th. Didn't didn't didn't didn't th. Didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't the the the the to the the the the th. I didn't the th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I didn't even thi. I didn't even thi. I didn't thi. I didn. Zero, okay. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, I really did not like it. Katie.
Starting point is 00:50:48 I'm going to give it a 0.5 because simply because I find Maisie Williams to be so charming that like anything she does can't possibly be a zero. But it could actually I'm going to give it 0.25 because everything else is so bad. Letter grade. Out of 10. Or out of 5? Out of 10. 0.25 out of 10. A letter grade, that's tough.
Starting point is 00:51:10 I feel like it dropped out three years ago and started working at the gas station. And like... In Kentucky? I just go in for a fill-up and holy shit, it's new mutants. Yeah, like, what have you been doing the last three years? Well, I've been working at gas station. Down here in Kentucky!
Starting point is 00:51:31 I'm American. Holy shit, were you the accent consultant? I was the accent consultant. And I said, I don't really care about real life accents. I just want the best accent for the accent consultant. And I said I don't really care about real-life accents. I just want the best accent for the movie. That's my rating. John and or Joseph? Joseph, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Yeah, I didn't like this movie either. I, you know what's funny? I hated it less than I hated Captain Marvel, where I was actively angry. This one I was just so bored and slightly confused that I was on my phone and I forgot about it immediately. Like I'm not even mad at it because I forgot most of this movie. Definitely an F. Like I don't want to give it an incomplete because this is a movie that had like multiple chances to turn in the paper. Like it got an extra two week. It went to summer school, you know, it took the class and it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, the, and, the, and, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, the, they, they.e, they.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.a. I'm they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the class, and it turned in the same paper from the very first, you know, F. So, like, they deserve it. They deserve to retake the school year again.
Starting point is 00:52:31 For a, I guess, a point out of 10. I'd give it a two. Like, I'm not mad at this. It was so forgettable and just, I have no feelings for it. It's a nothing- It's- It's- It's- It's- It's a nothing movie. It's nothing. John's gonna say B minus at a seven. So, so, first off, I should say I have seen, I'm trying to think, I think I've seen all of the X-Men movies now, except for like the last one. And this is far from the worst superhero movie I've seen. Like far from it. It's, uh, I mean, like the thir thxxxxxxxxx the the last one, and this is far from the worst superhero movie I've seen.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Like far from it. It's, I mean like the third X-Men was a lot worse. The first Wolverine movie, this was fucking miles ahead of that. Like I feel bad giving this an F because I don't even think, it's nowhere near as bad as some of those. Like as far as like Fox's superhero movies, this is probably in like the fucking like mid-range it's it's not Jesus that's so bleak though like it's yeah yeah yeah yeah you don't have to rate this higher because all the other movies that this company made are also awful right like more than one thing can be awful yeah like that's like the if 10 kids got an F-f-f-y th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th other movies that this company made are also awful. Yeah, like more than one thing can be awful.
Starting point is 00:53:46 Yeah, that's like if 10 kids got an F and like the last one he's like, I shouldn't get an F, the other 9 got an F, back, no, you've still got an F, right? Yeah, you know what? You're grading on a curve, yeah. Yeah, we're not grading on a curve, yeah. give this an F, but I would give it probably like a four out of ten because there are so many that are so much worse. Like the zero and the one of the really, really bad X-Men movies are so far below this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like once you've made a movie as bad as Wolverine origins, everything, everything is uphill from there.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Is that the one where everything is on a green screen for no apparent reason? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you've got like, it's, they literally did a Tasmanian devil routine in the middle of the movie. And it's, it's atrociously bad. It's atrociously bad. Isn't there a fight scene where they're like climbing on ladders, but they're pretending to climb on ladders because it's in a green screen and they didn't have ladders with them? Obviously. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Yeah. And the scene, like the Bugs Bunny scene is there's a guy climbing up a fire escape and in order to get at him, Wolverine starts chopping the bottom of the fire escape because apparently fire escapes just keep falling, you know, forever. And they speed it up so it looks th. So it looks like the fucking like the fucking like the fucking like the fucking like the fucking like the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking the fucking. So it, so it, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,, you know, forever. And they speed it up so it looks like a fucking Tasmania devil like eating something. And it's fucking awful. They've got, they've got worse accents in that. They've got like Deadpool in it, which what's Deadpool famous for is like making jokes and cracking wise and shit like that. They have his face molded over so he can't talk at all. And it's, you know, it's just real, like the whole fucking movie is absolutely atrocious.
Starting point is 00:55:35 And that is worse than the, the fucking sequel where Wolverine gets hit by a nuclear bomb. So that is, yeah, that can't be real. That is much better than the first Wolverine-I movie. I I I I I I I I I I I to to be. I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, thi- thi- thi- thi- thi, thi, thi,. What? So that is, yeah, yeah. That can't be real. That is much better than the first Wolverine movie. I mean, to be fair, this is not, if you consider this a horror movie, which I have a difficult time doing, this is by far not the worst horror movie we've done either. But I'm still not going to give it a higher rating. Do you think you'll remember a year from now? Do you thi. Do you. Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I? th. I? th. I? th. I? th. I? th. I? th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that that that that that the. that the. the. the. the. the. the. th year from now? Do you think you'll remember anything? If someone says new mutant, will that mean anything to you? Or will it dissolve out of your brain? I'll remember Maisie Williams, and that's it. I guarantee I'll say, did that ever come out? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:13 You know, one thing that does tie into horror, in some way, Alan is that the hospital in the hospital in which they they they they they they they they they shot, they they shot, they shot, they the hospital, where they shot Shutter Island, which we have not done on our podcast and should maybe someday do. So that's kind of horror adjacent. It's true. You can recognize scenes. This is where they fought the demon bear. Yeah, this is where the smiley guys showed up. I'm sorry. Which edit did you have where they fucked the demon bear? Oh fought the demon bear. No, that was if you watched the deleted scenes they had the bears in the smoking jackets
Starting point is 00:56:49 enjoying themselves after after they fucked the demon bear. Yeah, yeah they were doing thanks. God I would love to see the master P edit of this movie. Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ. Which and I would say like so I had I had the fucking Blu-ray in my hand, like, you know, the physical copy. Even from that standpoint, I'm like, cool, there's gonna be awful deleted scenes. There's gonna be like an hour deleted scenes because of it. There was like nothing. They had like a fucking, I think they had like two documentaries on it and it's like why? Really? This nobody fucking needs this. For posterity. I spent six dollars renting this movie from Amazon and I'm mad.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I was mad that you suggested we re-watch it Joseph because I wasn't going to spend another fucking six dollars on it. I got that email and I was like, who does he think he is? Well I knew I wasn't going to do it and I was hoping one of you you would so that we can remember the movie.... the movie. to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the movie. the movie. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be to be to be. I was. I was to. to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was. I was. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was the the the the the the the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was to th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was hoping one of you would so that we can remember the movie. They charge you $6 and you only got to watch it once? Only got to, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yep. This should be a $6 own. I mean, this is like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Oh, it was a $6. Was it a $6? No, for me, it was $6. That's $18 it took from us to watch this stupid, fucking, terrible movie. Is it at least rent to own where you watch enough? I'll never find out. Hey Katie. Hi, Alan. That's a fun little episode we did with Marveling.
Starting point is 00:58:19 It was really fun. I really enjoyed it so much more than I enjoyed the movie. I hope so good Lord that movie. But speaking of movies, what are we going to do next week? Let's do... Let's get a little Clive Barkery in here. Let's do Nightbreed. Let's do Nightbreed. I'm into it. Okay, good because you picked it. I did. So come back next week for that. It's on the shutter. It's on the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the movies, the movies, the movies, the movies, the movies, the movies, the movies, the movies, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what th, what th. Yeah, what th. Yeah, what th. Yeah, what th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi thi thi thi the the thi movies, the the the the the the the movie thi movies, the movie. But, thi movies, thi. Yeah, good because you picked it. I did. So come back next week for that. It's on the shutter, it's the director's cut. That means it's longer. More Clive Barker for your barked. Got bark. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing there.
Starting point is 00:59:03 All right next time we get to pick, okay? Well, it should be tied in, right? Can we do Blade next time? That's a... Ooh. It's a vampire. We can just swamp thing next time? Oh shit. Oh no, that's DC, isn't it? That's out. We can watch Man Thing.
Starting point is 00:59:23 There's a direct-to- video sci-fi movie Man Thing. I don't think I want to. Yeah, it's pretty. His comic, it's based on the comic, giant-sized man-thing, and I'm not making that up, Katie. All right. See you guys next year. So there's a guy, I know I've told Joseph and Allen about this. There'sthere's a guy that lives down the road from me that is like a stupid fucking shipper. Like he hand makes his own signs and hangs them around the neighborhood in places where he thinks they might be inaccessible to people. Yeah, yeah, like he had like his fucking signs, like Lion, Clinton, where both lion and Clinton were spelled wrong that was for the 2016 election Never mind go on yeah, but he's got like like he had the big fucking flag of holding the machine gun like he's just got his yard Oh were they photoshopped muscles on his body? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, by the way every time you say
Starting point is 01:00:21 you know I go back and bleep that out so you're making my life a lot more difficult here Then I'll just say the disgraced former president. he. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Never th. Never to to to to to to to never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never, never, never, never, never, never, never, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they, they. Oh, th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. to th. to to to to to to the to the the the to the the the the the the thi. Never thi, every time you say, you know I go back and bleep that out, so you're making my life a lot more difficult here. Good, good. Then I'll just say the disgraced former president. He's got lots of, lots of handmade signs of the disgraced former president in his yard. But after the inauguration, he took down every single one of them. And he replaced them with, and he replaced them with with, and he, and he, and he back and drive past the house to make sure this is what I was seeing. He replaced it with about a seven-foot tall like jigsaw cut out silhouette of the fucking man thing and it's like I had to
Starting point is 01:00:57 stop I'm like maybe it's just a big foot like no like man thing has distinct tendrils hanging from his mouth it's got the fucking tendrils he's even cut out a hole to put in a big in a big in a big in a big in a big in a big in a big in a big the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. the. the the. I'mrils hanging from his mouth. It's got the fucking tendrils. He's even cut out a hole to put in a big red eye in this weird silhouette. And it's like fucking inexplicable to me that he would do a giant stand-up of the fucking Man Thing. I think the only recourse is to become his friend now. Well, no, I think I'm, I got to go get a picture picture the picture to get a picture to get a picture to get a picture to get a picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture picture to get a picture picture to get a picture to get a picture to get a picture to get a picture to get a picture to get a picture a picture to become his friend now. Well, no, I think- I make my friend of the podcast. I gotta go get a picture of it. But my only thing, and I had a theory, but I'm like, no, let me ask Tammy and see what she thinks.
Starting point is 01:01:33 And Tammy's theory, which I absolutely agree with, is that he, it's his, like, quiet way of saying, like making an attack at, because he he he he he he he th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, thi, I th. th. th. th., th., th..., th... th. th., th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, to, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I toe. I to have a sign that said Biden, king of the swamp, and I think this is his like he thought this was a picture of swamp thing and cut it out. And he mixed up swamp thing and man thing, which I absolutely fucking love. But even if that was a case, why would he put up a photo of the swamp that he wants to drain? You don't have to logic them it doesn't make any sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th you th you th you th you th you th you th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th drain. You don't have to logic them. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. You're hurting yourself by trying to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I kind of love it that the neighbor has a giant man thing cut out in his yard. I'm kind of like that's
Starting point is 01:02:14 awesome. And he's got a spare one. I too. He's got a second one. I guess it was the first one he made, he's got a spare one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one the the first one one one. the first one. the first one. the first one. the first. the first. the first. the first. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. I. I. I's. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I's. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I the garage that I drove past and could see inside the garage open. This is the first time I've ever realized this, but saying man thing just sounds like a quaint aunt way of saying penis. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. It's the husband bulge of a... Yeah. I was on the subway and he pulled out of the man thing. Yeah. His wedding tackle. I was talking about sitting like, I'm sitting on the couch and it's like, oh, what are you doing on the couch? I'm sitting waiting for the lizard to come out.
Starting point is 01:02:50 And because we've got a little terrarium with lizards in it, and I'd put out food and I was waiting for the lizard to come eat the food and I was sitting there waiting for the lizard to come out and realizing, nope, nope, nope. I think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thi, thi, thi, thi. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, right? Slightly creeped out, disturbed, and hmm. But it's cool, it's a little ashy gecko. Well, but the... No one wants to have an ashy man thing. You've got to go see your doctor. Yeah, he might want to talk to something about that. I'm telling you're going to like it if you use lotion. Katie, don't go. Katie, go back.
Starting point is 01:03:29 She pulled out her ear and your headlows. So thanks for being on our podcast. And thanks for having us on yours. Yes, thank you. Thank you. We'll do it again, but with something that's actually a movie maybe. For this episode, are we marveling at Warwolf's Ambulance? No, we're just each her own selves.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Oh, well, okay. I mean, I thought we could come up with the cool crossover name, but if you're gonna be salty about it, we don't have to. They're trying to steal my thunder. They're trying to listening to another episode of Wear-Waf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. The maniacs are dead pools, civeties sighting at the pool. No way to wait, Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing clouds and leapt the face,
Starting point is 01:04:40 King held in outer space. Appear inside a basketcase. Please make I continue in your grave. E&T. A road and comedy reviews Audrey, Audrey, Brian, from Wayne's and Stephen Gang. E&T. We live deliciously bad temperatures of bees
Starting point is 01:05:01 Obesley come today. A pair of novel activities from Mr. Rogers to Temperatures obese, crazily come today. A paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers City, EFT, END. END.

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