Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 34- Candyman (1992)
Episode Date: June 15, 2015EMTs, do us a favor. Plop yourself in front of a mirror and repeat five times: "Werewolf Ambulance.... Werewolf Ambulance..." and wait for us to show up because we are talking about the 1992 thrill...er "Candyman" this week! Special topics for your consideration include: Tom Savini Thigh Watch 2k15 (please use the hashtag #saviniwatch2k15), smoking, the return of bugs in toilets, more smoking, an unexpected appearance from Benjamin Franklin, big projects in academia, Bloody Mary vs. the Pig Woman, BEES, and finally more smoking. Ohh, delicious smoking. Hey, a special thanks to Fright Hype/Crypt TV for the shoutout on their episode. Check them out at facebook.com/CryptTV. You can find us on the internet too-- facebook.com/werewolfambulance, Twitter @werebulance and Instagram @werewolfambulance. Let us know what you thought about this film and as always, please send us your recommendations...we love to hear from you guys!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to another episode of Wherewolf Ambulance.
I'm Alan and I'm here with my co-host Katie. Hello Katie. Hi Alan. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm doing really well. Thank you. Good. I'm happy to hear that. Much better than our previous episodes where I was recovering from surgeries. Yeah, that was not awesome. that. that was not awesome. thou? that. that was not awesome. thou. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to to thee. to. thi. the. the the. th. th. th. Thank you. I'm happy to hear that. Much better than our previous episodes
where I was recovering from surgeries.
Yeah, that was not awesome.
So it's June, and you know what that means?
We're on Tom Savini thigh watch.
Thighs, I was looking at the sweet factorials.
Well, everybody's got a little bit of Tom Savinie that they like. I have not cited him yet. Hope to cite him soon.
And that wraps Tom Savinie Thigh Watch.
Yeah, we'll let you know when we see him.
I'm also hoping to see Tom Savinie poet's blouse this season again.
Yeah, it's a good, it's a season of Savini.
I wish I could pull that shit off thrown. I don't th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuse. thu. you just have to have the self-confidence to own it. If that theory is correct
then anyone can wear anything, right? Yeah anyone can wear anything. I can't
wear like MC hammer pants. Oh you can. Oh I can. I can like physically put
them on my body, sure. That doesn't mean I should. And then you walk out of the house and you own that motherfucker. Uh, Savini watch, 2K15.
We'll keep you updated.
If millions of douchebags can wear those tiny fedoras and think that they look okay.
That's not okay.
That's not okay.
Actually, it is okay because it lets women know not to talk to them. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean? It's like an immediate stop sign.
Warning signal.
Yeah.
The warning fedora.
The warning fedora.
So speaking of fashion, okay.
There's some ridiculous fashion in the movie Candyman.
Candyman.
Can't you take the projects.
Make them look real bad. The candy man who can take the projects make them look real bad candy man can fill
your toilets full of bees yeah this is um our second movie in a row with a
toilet full of insects oh yeah yeah and all the smoking it's ever been
smoked love smoking this was a movie was so hard like it's so hard to be a former smoker
and watch it they were everybody was enjoying those cigarettes so much so much so much so much so hard to be a former smoker and watch it they were
everybody was enjoying those cigarettes so much I feel like they were
just like two puffs and they'd throw it away and get another one yeah
well it was the 90s everyone had more money and more cigarettes and more
cigarettes yeah oh so good also your use of the phrase John Candyman
totally ruined this movie for me because I kept
picturing him like appearing in the mirror eating that giant steak from the great outdoors.
It was really not easy.
Helen's head did sort of look like the, uh, the burnt butt of the bear at the end of
the movie. Yeah.
I love everything about Helen in this movie. I love her hair. Yeah. I love her outfits. I love her smoking.
Yeah. It was she was fantastic. Her murders. Her murders. Sort of. I liked them less. This movie is.
I hadn't seen it maybe once before and I hadn't seen it in a couple years. And the last time I saw it,
I had sort of the impression that I had missed something. Okay. And then watched it again for this, and I still have the impression
that perhaps I've missed something.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's very, well, let's get into that.
It's very anticlimactic or something.
There's like, there are rules that are made
and then quickly broke.
I don't know.
I have some theories? Sure. Two PhD seemingly students are...
Presumably?
Yeah, they're post-grad students putting together their thesis about urban legends.
And you generally don't partner up for a thesis, I guess.
Well, this is super big.
Oh, I see.
Big thesis.
I don't know how education works, but this big thesis. And her, one of their husbands is a professor of urban legends. Folklore, I was assuming.
At a college where the bell rings and they go to lunch.
So, take that for what it's worth.
Yeah, Trevor.
Dill, such a dildo.
Yeah, massive dildo.
I've had a few conversations where the word intellectual gets bandied about and talking with people about like their definition of an intellectual and Trevor is just that....... their their their their their th. th. their th. their their th. th. th. their the. the. the. their the. the. the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, one one one one one one one the, one thi, one thi, one the, one the, one the, one theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the, the, the, thi, thi, people about like their definition of an intellectual and Trevor is just that he's just the detached asshole. Yeah him and his his colleague
Ben Franklin. Young Rain Franklin. Yeah, young Ben Franklin. Like yeah
romancing the women Ben Franklin. And put the key on that kite yet. Yeah no no
his hair white. That's how that happened, right? So, these two PhD students are writing their thesis about urban legends and they find
out that Chicago, the town they're in, has a great urban legend about a character named Candyman
who if you say his name five times into a mirror will appear behind you and then.
The Bloody Mary effect.
Exactly.
There was a rumor going around my elementary school that Bloody Mary lived in the woods behind the football
field and girls were like going into the bathroom and doing the bloody
merry thing and this one girl was like pulling everybody's hair in the
dark which is so good and so clever I remember them having to like
the morning announcements are like bloody Mary does. the
. That means she totally does. She totally does. Hans Elementary, Gibson, Pennsylvania,
Bloody Mary. You find her. You find her, you let me know. Oh, man, we just had the pig woman.
Oh, the pig woman? Yeah. Wow. What's that? A woman who got her head chopped off of of being a witch and replaced it with a pig head, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Bl. th. th. Bl. Bl. Bl. Blvvvvvvvvvvah. Blu. Blvvah. Blvan, bloody m. Blvvvvvvvvvvani. Blvvan, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody. Bl-n, bloody. Bl-n, bloody. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Blv. Blv. Blv. Blv. Blv. Blvv. Blvd. Blvd. Blvd. Blvd. Blvd. Blvvvd. Blvd. Blvd. Blvdie. Blvdie. Blvvvdie. Blvvvvv and kill you. That's a much better urban legend. Big Woman. Yeah, there was a bunch of them in Delaware. I think Big Woman was actually Maryland-centric.
But anyhow, they decided to go and investigate in the Candyman supposedly, like where there was a
murder attributed to the Candyman in the newspapers, saviour. Yeah, they were like, candyman. the newspapers. Yeah, they go in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their was, their their their was, their was, their their their their their their their their their their their was actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. their their their their their the. their the. the. the. the in a newspaper. In the Cabrini Green housing projects, is where this supposedly happened. They go in there and investigate and then all
hell breaks loose when they actually find Candyman because it's a horror
movie. Right. Candyman is revealed to be a former or a slave, the son of a former slave. Son of a former,
who basically bones down on a white girl,
gets her pregnant, and then has the most aggressive punishment
for such a thing, even though he was well to do.
A fantastic artist.
Oh, right.
And he was like, put his father had
and made an invention that made him a lot of money as a former slave.
And he was able to send his that all the people would have him paint portraits of and then he was painting the portrait to this nice
Little white girl. She got preggers. Yeah, so he is chased down by townspeople I guess or no
Ruffians I think they tell him they's and they cut his hand off and they fill him with bees They they jam a hook onto his hand because he was a great painter so they tak. they they the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He was their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their. He's is their. He's is their. He's their. He's their their. He's their their their their. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's their. He's their. He's their their their. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's their their their their they take his painting hand right around. And then they covered him in honey and then put him in an apiary.
Yeah. So the hungry bees sting him to death.
Burn him and scatter his ashes over what is now the Cabrini Green housing project.
Yeah. Okay. And this is all learned when the two PhD students, Helen and Bernadette,
are out with Trevor and Ben Franklin for dinner. Oh right. Ben Franklin knows all this and then they later find some microfiche
that bolsters their story. Damn and I miss microficia. I've never gotten to use one
my whole life. Yeah it's so disappointing. You feel like you're in a fucking like 70s news film. Totally. Got to solve the crime somehow. There's a great recap of the the Candyman legend that one girl is the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. the, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the legend that one girl is telling them at the beginning of the movie.
That's, I thought it was really neat because it was shot differently than the rest of the film.
And it occurs at night and most of the other scares in the movie occur during the daytime.
There's a boyfriend and girlfriend that are doing the candy man and the boyfriend is a Ted Rame, Sam Ramey's brother. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, slick back hair, Billy.
They go to this housing project and it's super racist, which we can get into probably later.
The whole movie is super racist, which we can get into later.
Okay, that's interesting.
Well, we get one and one just get into it now.
You brought it up?
All right. So, let take a step back. Okay. This movie portrays life in the inner city in the absolute worst possible light.
Right.
And it makes, and it's also like, the antagonist is a black man who's in love with like our plucky
white heroine and like would do anything to get to her.
And just like, I don't know, he's angry at white people for what they've done to him,
so he takes it out on other black people.
It just seemed very like, it just had a tone
that I felt uncomfortable with.
And I know I'm a shitty liberal,
but I think that you can't,
and you know, 1992, things are a little different,
but, and also like all of the black people that live in Cabrini Green, you never meet anyone except for
Anne-Marie and Jake. The rest of them are just like a faceless mass of bad guys. It's very
unsettling in the way that it's treated. I hear what you're saying, but I've always thought of
this as being like a really well-executed urban horror movie from the standpoint of like the fetish sizing of inner city black culture
into like being this nightmarish thing and kind of like exploiting that and
like throwing it back in like a white audience face and like kind of twisting it
a little bit. I thought it was like I think it there's a little bit more like the fact
that is set in Chicago which is one of the most racist cities I've ever been to. That's weird I have seeing as you've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I've th. I've th. I've thi thi thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. th. racist cities I've ever been to. That's weird, I've seen as you've been to both Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.
I have.
I just encountered a lot of like really off-the-cuff racism in Chicago.
That was very, like, very odd.
And Cabrini Green, like,
legendarily, like, one of the worst neighborhoods in Chicago.
So, like, it's interesting that they said it there, that's the setting, they chose to put it in. They didn't make it in this nameless city in a weird area.
Yeah.
I mean, there's a lot, it's definitely problematic, but I think there's also like, there's
sort of positive things towards like the Candyman character and stuff.
I don't know.
I felt like no care was given to any sort of respect of people living in the inner city, thia, thia, thia, th.
of people living in the inner city at all. Hmm.
But, you know, what are you going to do?
There is sort of the speech that Ann Marie gives of like,
we're not all like those people downstairs.
We're not all like the...
Yeah, I don't know, that felt tacked on to me.
It just, I just, the whole thing felt very want to spend the whole time talking about racism. I'd rather talk about how fucking silly candy man is.
Whoa!
Yeah.
Can we quickly talk about how well shot this movie is?
Sure.
I think it's gorgeously shot the opening sequences where they're just flying around Chicago
with like-.
It's set to like Philip Glass.
It's so fucking.
It's like Hoyana Scotty or something it's really interesting like and I like how that theme repeats throughout the film you keep going back to
those aerial views. Although at one point it really got ruined for me because
the ice cream truck was idling outside my house for like 10 god damn
minutes last night while I was watching this so I'm watching Candy Man
and hearing the like ice cream truck song over and over and I was like this thr- this this this is this is this is like this is like this is like this is this is like this is like this is this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is this is this is this is this is like this is like this is like this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is like this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is very this is very this is very th is very th is very th is very th is very thi thi. thi. this is very very very this is very very strange this is very this is very very strange this is very strange is very strange how the fuck did they get Philip Glass?
I have no ideas.
He must be like someone's uncle on this movie because it's crazy.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah, I feel like I have seen Philip Glass do some weird things though.
Like, um, there was this installation piece that was at the Carnegie Museum for a while called Rondelay, where it was just you walked into like basically a round tent and inside there were videos
being projected on the walls of basically a man and a woman walking through
Paris separately and they never meet and was just set to this like repeating
Philip Glass score and I loved it so I was real psyched to see him do
this but I guess he's just yeah just do it. It's a great score. I probably needed some money I would assume. I feel like the score really it
boosts the film in a lot of ways. Oh yeah really aids it. And it's got the
the great opening line of they will say I have shed innocent blood. What is
blood for if not for shedding. That is not a great opening line. It's so 14-year-old gop. Yeah it's like it feels like it feels like it came from like an episode of criminal minds.
I came from Clive Barker.
Like, I don't have a whole lot of experience with Clive Barker, but this does not make me want,
this writing does not make me want to delve in.
I just, everything the candy man said, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about,
thi thi thii. are you talking about, sir? What are you talking about? Here's, okay, here's another thing I don't understand.
Okay.
Helen, Virginia Madsen, realizes that her building was built
to the same specs, I guess is Cabrini Green?
Her like upscale lofty, kind of, you know,
upper middle class building.
And she realizes that behind the medicine cabinet is just open,
anybody can get through. But why he he he th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, thi, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thu, thu, thu, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thuuui, thu. thu. Ha, th medicine cabinet is just open. Anybody can get through. But why does Candyman need that?
Because he can just appear anywhere that he wants.
This is before the, this is when the theory that they're,
it's a flesh and blood killer.
That's sneaking around Cabrini ring killing people.
Not that it's a supernatural being that's doing it. But she thinks it is, doesn't the the, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, the, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, the, the, the, the, the, the, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory... This. This. This is, theory. This is, theory. This is, theory. This is, theory. This is, theory. This is, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, they. This is, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory, theory was good. Because at that point, they do the candy man in the mirror
and it's a joke.
Oh, okay.
And but that's when they actually conjure him.
Candy the.
Oh, can we?
Hmm.
Yeah, I have that note, like every four notes.
so much smoking. Yeah, yeah, I have that note, like every four notes, so much smoking.
And while they're in there, we notice that Candyman has this crazy self-portrait on the wall
where you come enter through his mouth, good thing he has that?
I love that.
I love that portrait, like I love the bag of candy with a razor blades in it. Yeah, why is he candy man? That's the only reference. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, thea. thean. thean. thean. thean. th. thea. th. the. the. thea. th. th. find that problematic. Because the whole Sweet for the Sweet thing. Yeah but why? Because you can't the man? Right, but
why? Sweet for the sweet. Okay, so then they meet this little boy Jake played by an actor
named Dewan guy. I kept thinking like, you got the one guy. Because I'm my father at heart.
And Jake tells Helen the story about how he knows where the candy man lives, which is a men's room.
Yeah.
And a nightmarish men's room.
If I'm candyman, I'm living somewhere nicer than a men's room.
And he knows this kid who cannyman took his paper. Why?
And I realize at that point that that candy man is not the same candy man as candy man.
Right.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever said.
There's like a guy with a hook who's pretending to be a ta'eanit.
So good.
Why did he take that boy's paper?
Did he take that boy's peeper? Oh, that I don't know. Did he take that boy's peeper?
I think he was just supposed to be a fucking lunatic.
Or did the real candy man dig his paper?
Our candyman.
Is our candyman the real candy man?
Who took that boy's peeper?
I don't know. And poop and poop. Who filled the toilet with bees?
And she like, oh, it's like, oh!
So gross.
Yeah.
So she gets attacked by not our candyman?
No, but the drug lord.
Let's call him something else.
Drugy candyman.
He like hits her in the eye with a hook, I guess.
So much blood shoots out of her when he does it's awesome. And her eye gets so gross afterwards. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. to to to to to to to to to too? to too? too? too? too? too? too. too. too. too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to too. And she. And she. And she. And she. too. too. too. too. the tooom? tooome. tooome. tooome. tooome. toooome. tooom? too. And too. And too. And to to too in the eye with a hook I guess. So much blood shoots out of her when he does it's awesome. And her eye gets so gross afterwards. Okay cool. Yeah.
She's a pain in the ass. She is. She is so plucky though. When her and she and
Bernadette are going to Cabrini Green for the first time and Bernadette's like, you know this is stupid this is really fucking terrifying I don't want to be doing this........ the, the, the, to. And, to. And, the, the, to, to, the, the, th. to, th. the, the, th. to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, to. And, to, to, to, th.. th. th. thi, th. thi, th. And, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, thin, the, like, like, like, like, the, like, like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th't want to be doing this. And she gives her the like the,
but we could have the best paper ever.
Yeah.
And I was just like, don't make her do a dumb thing she doesn't want to do.
No, you're fucking adults.
You're like middle-aged.
You're old enough to know better. How old is Virginia Madsen in this movie? Uh, probably in her early 20s. No shit, she looks so old.
I think, I don't mean old, I don't even mean like wrinkle.
I think she's supposed to be like, a post-grad student.
She was 31 in the making of this movie.
Okay.
The same age as Rochelle, from the craft.
Did you notice that role well.
So, um, Candyman took that guy's peeper.
Yeah, took the peeper, busted Helen in the eye.
Helen then identifies him in a lineup where they're ridiculously saying.
Oh my god.
I heard you're looking looking for candy man bitch. In the other guys in the lineup are like we hear you are looking for candy man bitch like no I don't think that's right sirs you're not doing a good job. And the guy who actually said it to her the drugy candy man. He delivers a pretty good line reading on exactly the same as he said it previously he said it previously he's not even concerned. So apparently he goes to jail. Well yeah, they finally
got a white woman to, so that they could come in and arrest somebody because black people
were scared to this dude. Right. Was the gist of what the cop told her. Right. Not, that's not a racist
thing at all. Well no, but it's also they would do anything about this dude. Again, why I think this movie's trying not to be super racist, at least pointing out the foibles of the system.
I just feel, yeah, well whatever. So, Candyman comes to Helen, our candy man.
Our candyman. And, uh, tells her that innocent blood must be shed, and that he will take her and make her his. What the fuck is he ever talking about?
I just feel like what the fuck is he ever talking about?
Also, like, maybe this is just me, but I feel like Candyman is much scarier as an idea.
Sure. Until he appears and he's just like a dude in a coat with a hook for a hand.
His face is just like vaguely handsome.
Oh yeah, it's not a good-looking man. Yeah, it's just not, he no longer, it's just a weird villain at that point.
When I originally saw this film in the theater when it came out, the theater had a great sound
system.
So the first time he says Helen and that like sing song he'd like, hello.
And that super like bass voice, it just rumbled the seat. And it was like, it was like it came like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that? Like, it was really disembodied from the image on the screen,
and it was off-putting, and it was nice.
It was really, like, really well done.
I don't think he said, I've heard other people complain
that like, as soon as he shows up, you're like, oh, this is du, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I...... I, that's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I. that's, I. that's, I'm. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I. And, I. And, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. lot of sadness in this character. He's sad. Yeah he's sad but like okay so so he starts like basically framing
Helen for murders. But he keeps saying it's always been you Helen. Does he keep
saying that? I thought he didn't say it until the end. He says it a few times
throughout the movie and you do see a painting of a woman who looks a lot like Helen that I assume is his lover. Oh yeah one of my favorite movie explaining techniques murals like a
mural that tells you the entire story and you're like oh good thing somebody
painted that. What? Anyway also just inside this bill inside Cabrini Green. Right. Yeah,
that's fine. I think it's supposed to say that he was trapped inside inside there and so he was painting his own history on the walls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I was th. Yeah. I was th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. was painting his own history on the walls. Sure.
You're so mad at Candyman.
I'm not mad.
I just, okay, let's keep going and then we'll get into why I'm mad.
Okay, Helen, and what I think to be a terrifying scene, wakes up in a pool of blood in a strange bathroom.
Yeah. And she does my, one of my least favorite things in horror movies, but I understand why everyone does it, picks up the knife that she finds on the floor
and starts wielding it.
Sure.
So she wakes up covered in blood,
opens the bathroom door to hearing a woman scream.
Just constant screaming over and over and over.
And when she opens the door,
there's the head of a dog.
We've met this dog before because it's barked at her, laying next to the head of a dog is a meat cleaver. So she picks up the meat cleaver,
goes to where Anne-Marie's screaming,
tries to consult her, and then ends up chopping her in the arm
when Anne-Marie attacks her and calls her a crazy bitch.
Yeah, because Anne's baby is missing.
And we have since been told, we have previously been told that Helen really wants a baby. Oh yeah. Good thing Helen didn't procreate with Trevor. Anyway, he's not a good partner. No, so... But neither is she.
No, well she's trying at least. She makes an effort. It's true. There's then this very sad and
uncomfortable scene where Helen is forced to strip and the police... There's like a lot of sort boob in this movie. There's some sort of boob there, there, the bub there, the bub when, the th, th, th, th, th, when, when, when, when, when, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thiiii's thiii's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the police, there's like a lot of sort of boob in this movie.
There's some sort of boob there,
there's some sort of boob when she's in the bathtub,
and then Stacy at the end has some sort of boob too.
It's a very strange sort of boob.
I think they were trying to keep it are.
Yeah. bail? They won't charge her because they haven't found the baby. I don't know why you can't charge her for butchering a dog. Because that's probably like a
like a class F felony or something you know but that makes sense that yeah well
although you just want to charge her with something so you could hold
her like I've watched a lot of law an order in my life and that's what
they always do is they'll charge them with like a lesser crime so they can't the the they the they the their they their they'll their their their they'll their their their their their their. their. they'll their. their. they'll they'll they'll they'll their. they'll they'll they'll their their. their. they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their. they'll their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their. their. I I I I I I I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll th. I'll th. I'll charge. I'll charge. I'll charge. te. te. te. their. their. they'll they'll they'll they'll c. I'll they'll the bigger crime. Right, she does end up having to spend the night in jail because Trevor is not at home
when she calls at 3 o'clock in the morning.
She has previously suspected that he's sleeping with one of his students, Stacy, who is
such a Stacey. Sorry to those Stacies out there, but that's you.
And I assume it was implied that she is also a former student of Trevor's.
That's kind of the implication that I got out of it.
So like this is like Trevor's ammo.
Trevor's trading up, trade younger.
So she gets let back out on her own recognizance, I guess.
And then Candyman comes to her house again.
Oh, so sad. And then Bernard it looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks looks really th. Does the th. Does the th. Does th. Does the th. Does the th. Does the th. Does th. Does the th. Does the the th. th. Does the the the the th. th. th. then Bernadette looks really fucked up when they show her body.
It's the body, does a body turn that color?
She was like the color of the blue zombies in Dawn of the Dead.
Yeah, it was not.
Well, whatever.
RIP Bernadette.
Yeah, it was a bummer.
So he basically frames Helen for that murder. Yeah. Why? Because he is building the urban legend. He is building the
legend of Helen. Cool. This is this is Candyman's grand plan to retire from Candyman.
Where does Candyman go in here? Like there's no Florida for Candyman. It's like the
dread pirate Roberts. Yeah, oh I see. Well that actually kind of makes sense. Okay. So she gets put
into a mental institution and gets jacked up on Thorazine or something
for a month.
She's just out for a month.
When she comes around, she's being interviewed by a squirrely psychiatrist, you let's
her know that she's being charged with murder and that, you know, she's in a mental institution and she turns to the mirror and says candy man five times........ th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. thi, th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, I I I I I, I, I I, I I, I I I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. And, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's th. th. th. toe. th. toe. toe. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. turns to the mirror and says Candyman five times because she's going to show this guy the Candyman is real. Unwisely I feel. And then there's the great scene of where
she's talking to the psychiatrist and he kind of stops and goes burp and then blood flows out of
him because Candyman's been behind him cutting him up with his hook. Yeah so good. And then he cuts her restraint so it appears, would have appeared that she killed this guy. Right. And then she climbs out a window and runs to her apartment.
After Candyman flies backwards out of the fucking window in an amazing scene,
the guy who could just appear anywhere is like, oh I'm gonna leave good style and just bust out the window
backwards, which I assume he's set up so that she would go out the window and he gave her an easy escape. Sure. Candyman's thinking about all these ins and outs.
Yeah, yeah, thanks, Candyman.
Thanks for thinking of those for us.
She goes out the window, goes to her apartment where it's being painted like baby girl room pink.
He's got a new baby at home. Yeah, he's got a new baby, Stacy. And she acts like a crazy person, terrifies terifies thiiii thi thi thi thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho-a, thi, thi, tho-a, th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. She would thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that that, that that that, that, that, that that that that that's that that that that that that that, terrifies them, and then leaves pretty much.
She says, I hate this color scheme.
Well, yeah, it's like, pepto pepto pink.
When it was dried, it looked pretty nice.
Did it?
I didn't notice it again.
There was a little more tone down.
So eventually she ends up going back to Cabrini Green and trying to find
the baby so she can return the baby, the baby, the baby to its mother. Okay. She hears the baby crying in the bonfire. That is the annual bonfire where they burn all of their garbage outside of
Cabrini Green. Wait, does she hear the baby crying in the bonfire? Is that what
happens? Well, let's check. She does hear the baby crying. Because why would he just burn the baby? Because he needed to burn Helen? he like tell-o-tell. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the the the the to to the to the to the to to the baby, the baby, to to to to to to to to to to to to the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their to to their to burn, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to to to to their tells her basically that if she sacrifices herself that he'll let the baby go free and then he's not
going to do that and she's like you lied to me like no shit why would you
trust candy man? He took that kid's peeper. Do you know what I mean? Like why are
you making deals with candy? He seems to have a power over. Every time she encounters him she gets the eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to to to he to to he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to a power over. Every time she encounters him, she gets really eye fluttery and just like...
So dumb.
Yeah, she goes back to the attic and the apartments, which is hilarious I think.
Yeah.
And encounters Candyman, he's sleeping and he says...
Oh right, Candyman, cannyman gets tired too.
We all, we all got to rest up. Canny Man predicts that Helen's going to carry carry on to carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry carry to carry to carry to carry to carry to carry to carry to carry to carry to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the to the the their. the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to to to to to to to th. ti. ti. ti. tie. tie. tie. tha. tie. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. Helen's going to carry on his tradition and...
Does he say that?
I could not... I honestly did not understand what the fuck he was getting it.
Yeah.
I mean, I know I'm being harsh on Candyman here, but I feel like every line that was
written for him was just like fucking nonsense.
Oh, I didn't get that. I mean I didn't think it was like poetry. I think he thought it was poetry. Well I think that's what he's supposed to like show enough that
well-educated but it was dumb. So Candyman has put the... He keeps talking about
his congregation. What is that about? It's about all the people that believe in him.
If they stop believing in him he'll stop existing. So he has to re-up. Why? Neverending story? What? Did you ever see the never-ending
story? Yes. You know, when people stop believing in the fairy tales, they go away. That's not
true. The Great Nothing comes and needs to them. Is that really the plot of never-ending
story? It's been a while. Yeah. I thought he just had to name the child, the to give her a name. He had to, he had to bring her back into existence, basically.
So you're saying that this plot, I should feel that this plot is realistic because it mirrors
the plot of the never-ending story.
I don't think you should feel that it's realistic at all. I think you should think that
it's ridiculous and fun and like a ridiculous movie. I just feel that it was not explained very well. I don't th. I th. I th. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I'm just just just. I'm just, I'm just just just, I'm just, I'm just just, I just just, I just just that it, I just that it, I just that it was just that it, I just feel that it was just that it was just that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just feel that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I that it, I th. I th. I th. I'm just feel, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like, I just feel that's that's thi thi. that's thi. that it was not explained very well. I don't know, I watched the movie twice this week.
Yeah, so maybe you have a better insight than I do.
And I do own it and I've seen it a bunch.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe I just never thought about it.
I'm just kind of like, this is a dumb movie where people get cut up by hooks. But I don't think it was intended, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, I, I, the, I, I, tho, I, I, thin, I, I, I, I, I, I, thin, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to own, to own, to own, to own, to own, to own, to own, to own, and, to, to own, to, to, to, to own, to own, to, to own, to, to own, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, the, to, the, to, the, to to the, they. to the to to to the to to the to to to to to the, to to supposed to be like, I think it's supposed to be like cerebral, but I don't feel that it's cerebral.
I feel that it's, I mean, like a dumb movie
where people get cut up by hooks
is I know what you did last summer.
It's true.
This is supposed to be like.
There's a little bit more substance to this, I think. But the substance is like, I don't the substance, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a.. the, a, a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. just couldn't bring myself to care, I guess. I feel like this movie is almost,
it's sort of like, it's like a song with the lyrics
are sort of inconsequential and it's just about the music.
Like these, for me, this is just about like the shots
and just about like the way it's sort of unfolds visually.
But I don't think that's how it's that's that's that's that's that's thatriller. It's not. Heads up. It's not. It's thrilling. Sure. I don't know.
So Helen hears the baby in the bond or is told by candyman that the baby's in the bonfire.
Sure. I think now that you say that, I do think I remember him crying and her life pushing aside trash to find him, which is a very claustrophobic scene. going. Right. Right. to. thiiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the. the here is the here is the here is the here is the here is they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. telea. tea. tellea. tea. tea. tea. tha. te. to burn. No, I don't know what these people were thinking with this bonfire. It's it's fucking enormous too. It's very unsafe and very
irresponsible to set that on fire. At first I thought like it's set up earlier
where she's with Jake and she says oh someone having a bonfire and he's like, oh yeah,
but then I thought maybe later like I don't know, it doesn't matter. I don't what I thought thought. Before we move on to the vampire, we should, or the vampire.
Wow, I would have loved it if suddenly a vampire was in this movie.
Oh, you didn't have the vampire cut?
No.
Before we move on to the bonfire, we do have to mention the bee mouth kiss.
So because he was, you know, stung to death, the the the the the bees. I just have a note that says bee body.
Why?
I don't know.
I think because he opens his blouse and he has bee body,
which is probably why I wrote bee body.
So yeah, he makes out with bees.
Yeah.
Yeah, which is outside of the film itself, what's Helen's real name?
Virginia Madsen. It's definitely allergic to bees, like one sting could kill her.
So they had to, just like Thomas Jay.
So the bees that are using that scene are like less than 12 days old,
or 12 hours old maybe. They're like really young juvenile bees that can't sting yet.
And, what do the ASPCA have to say about this? They had to put, well they had, I've read an interview, I an an an an an an an an an an an the interview, I the interview, I the interview, I the interview, I the interview, I the the the juvenile bees that can't sting yet. And... What do the ASPCA have to say about this?
They had to put, well they had, I read an interview with the bee wrangler from the movie.
My God, what a life.
Which one, me reading an interview with the bee rangler from the movie?
Or?
Both.
They had to put a special mouth.
. to keep the bees from going down his throat, which made me want to fucking die, the idea of bees going down my throat.
But yeah, they covered him in like Queen Bee pheromones,
so they like would be like drawn to him
and put him in his mouth,
because he didn't want it to be like CGI or anything.
I hope he made a lot of money for this movie.
So do why? It wasn't his fault. You did a great job, Tony Todd. Tony Todd did what he could with what he had, with what he was given.
He does a great job of looking menacing, certainly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Helen climbs into the vampire bonfire and finds the baby,
and encounters Candyman in there.
She has a hook for some reason in her hand when she goes into the bonfire and Jake sees the hook and so he's like hey everybody
Candyman's in the pile. We've been building this pile for Candyman. I don't
know get your gas cans for our prepared Candyman fire and they start
throwing gas on the fire and they light it. Yeah and so the candy man and the
the baby are inside of the burning bonfire. Yeah. She stabs Candyman, killing Candyman and then crawls out on
fire with the baby, saving the baby, handing it to Anne-Marie and then died.
The baby's fine. Baby's fine which is great. Why is it can't be fine? Why is Candyman killed by stabbing? or the fire? What's up? Why doesn't he? Why is a the the baby? Why is a the baby? Why is a the the baby? Why is a the baby? Why is a? Why is a the the the baby? Why is a? Why is a the the the baby? Why is? Why is? Why is? Why is? Why is? Why is? Why is? Why is? Can't? the the the th? tie? Can't? Can't? Can't? tie? tie? tie? tie? tie? tie? tie? tie? tie? Can't? Can't? Can't? Can't? Can't? Can't? Can't? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? the fire? What's up? Yeah. I don't have answers these questions.
I don't know.
He has previously been able to like go anywhere he wants at any time
and all of a sudden he's in a fire like,
burning and screaming.
Yeah, it seemed that he wanted to die.
He was setting her up to be his next, and he wanted to die.
OK. Okay. I feel like you're really, you're trying to wedge this into reality and it's not a film
that can be wedged into reality.
It has to be taken as its own universe, its own ridiculousness.
Maybe.
So the next shot is of Helen in a casket with literally the worst eye shadow.
If anyone makes me look that bad when I'm dead, I'm going to be so fucking pissed., they like the wig they put it on her doesn't quite cover all the burn scars.
No, come on, come.
She had beautiful hair.
Beautiful hair.
It looks so good throughout this moment.
I was thinking about cutting my hair that short.
Then it cuts to the funeral where it's just Trevor and Stacy. And Ben Franklin.
Yeah.
And then all these people march in from, I guess from Cabrini Green.
Right.
And Jake walks up and takes the hook out of his jacket after Anne Marie tells him to
and throws it into the casket.
Or into the grave?
Yeah, into the grave.
Why?
So she can be candy man now. But he why would he want her to be candy man? What's this? I don't know. Listen you can't... Okay I just want
to understand the motivation. So the next scene is of Trevor and Stacey at home and
Stacey is being terribly not understanding just being a total bitch.
No I mean the guy's wife did just burn to death after murdering at least two people.
Yeah, and spending like a month in a mental institution.
And so he's like crying in the bathroom and she's like, oh my god, I'm like making dinner.
And she's like throwing meat everywhere, which is not how you like keep things sanitary.
I don't know. And she's also wearing a see-through white shirt, no bra. They were like, we gotta end it on these tits.
Maybe she was doing it to cheer him up.
Hey buddy.
Tits. Stacy's here.
Stacy is here.
Um, so he's looking into the mirror in the bathroom saying Helen's name.
Helen, Helen, like, and she appears, naturally.
Well, he kind of has, he says it like, like has he says it like four times and then kind of has like a little like maybe I'll say it one more time and she'll show up. Yeah
it sucks that she doesn't get a cool moniker like she's just fucking Helen
forever she's not like wicked queen or anything like that she's hellin
lady like that she's hellen lady like if I'm an urban legend and I'm Katie I'm gonna be pissed you know what I'm saying. You just have to make Katie pretty brutal so that- Katie! It's not good.
Katie.
It's just like every girl you went to middle school with.
It's kind of terrifying.
Yeah.
Katie.
So Helen has the hook and she, she murdered Trevor.
Yeah, it had a comment.
The last scene is Stacy holding the knife that she was using to cut the meat, so it all sort of comes around to her looking like she killed Trevor.
Yeah. Which is cool.
Get your comeuppance.
Yeah.
You home wrecker.
It was on Trevor.
I'm not going to blame this one.
They're both at fault.
They are both at fault.
They are both at fault.
.. their to. the their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the..................................................................ckons. So... Candyman. Like, you can't fault me for feeling that it makes no sense.
No.
It makes no sense.
I kind of fault you a little bit for trying to find sense in it.
I just cross my arms so angrily.
What?
Just, I always with these movies just sort of assume that they have their logic, and I'm going to let them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their the of assume that they have their logic and I'm
going to let them have their logic and I don't need to.
You know, it's the same reason I can get off on Susperia and Kill List and just be like,
they have their logic, they work within their own bounds.
So to you it doesn't matter if a character has any motivation at all.
You don't care about it, you the character, the character, the character, the character, th. motivation you just care that it looks cool like do you understand I'm saying like but I think he does have motivation with it he's seeking vengeance for
what was wrought upon him by killing people that live in this place yeah
kind of a little boys peepers yeah I mean it's kind of like the the theory
you know the poltergeyce will just attack whoever's in the house with him they don't care about he's like a poltergei he's like a paltrge He's a poet, if nothing else. He's clearly like
mindful, you know, I just don't understand, I just don't understand why. And, oh, whatever.
No, come on. No, I don't understand it. This is what we do. It makes me so mad to not understand it.
That's why I thought I'd miss something. I was like, okay, he has some motivation that I'm not seeing. Yeah, I mean, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's the the the the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the same. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the's it's the I'll take your emails on this by the way right in.
I think it's the same as any urban legend like it doesn't have to like where I
grew up there's a road. Just one? Boom! That's where we're playing a laugh track in.
Okay. I forgot we were exercising a laugh track this week.
So there's this road where you drive down and the trees start to grow away from the
road at like a sharp like 90 degree angle, right?
And then as you crest a hill there's this house that supposedly when you look at it in
a certain direction the windows make it upside down cross and there's supposed to be
these satanic midgets.
I know that's s politically correct, but that's what we called them when we were kids. What? That conduct satanic masses in this house.
Why are they midgets? I don't know. Okay, that's just what we heard. But so, okay,
were they midgets that all found Satan together or like, okay, I'm sorry.
It didn't know their back story. And it was great too, because so many people drove down this road at night and fucked around and were teenagers, there was security.
So you would get chased by these cars, so it just added to the mystique of it.
But I didn't need to know the motivation of why the satanic midgets were the satanic midgets.
Why not?
Because they were just, it was just creepy and weird and fun and urban legend. Like, why does the pig woman want to kill me? I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th th th, th is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th woman. I have no, I can't speak to the pig woman's motives. I can't, I can't, I can't.
I just feel like this movie tried to write a very interesting story and it wasn't a very
interesting story.
I would disagree.
Cool.
I enjoy the story.
Well, then let's rate.
You go first.
Katie's rating is a sigh. A long sigh.
I feel like I've rated a lot of things that we've watched a sigh.
No, I mean, like, it wasn't, it wasn't, I'm making it sound much more terrible than it was.
It's not a terrible movie.
It's fairly entertaining.
There's a lot of blood.
There's just some sort of boobs. Last night, I watched this last night, and then I wo' I watched I watched th was was was was was was was was was th was th was thed, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I wo, I w- I w- I w- I w- I w- I w- I w-I th. I w- I w-I, I w-I, I'm making it, I'm making it, I, I'm making, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm making tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, I'm making tha, I'm making tha, I'm making the night and I had to pee and I like for a second had myself convinced that Candyman was in the hallway. When this movie just won?
But that's not, that's not.
That's what an urban legend does.
But then why write it at all?
Why like?
To get it out there?
No, I mean, whatever.
the fa'n' Well, that's wrong. I think it's really beautifully shot. That's fine.
It's a fantastic score.
It was my introduction to Tony Todd, who I really like.
He's in the remake of Night of the Living Dead,
and I think he's amazing in that.
And yeah, I just really enjoy it.
Maybe, because I don't think it doesn't make sense. But you've, but I'm asking you these questions, you're like, what? I don't know. You can't ask these questions.
So you're admitting, therefore, that it doesn't make sense.
Yeah. I'm admitting that the film has a logic under itself that I don't, I haven't thought to think through.
Fair enough. I don't know.
I don't know if it was just the movie hit me at the right time in my life.
Like I just gotten at a high school, it was taking on the world, it was October when I saw this.
Like the giddiest time of the year for me.
Oh yeah, for sure.
As we sit in my hall of Halloween. Yeah, I'm looking at no fewer than 12 plastic pumpkins.
Oh, that one's paper.
Oh, it says that one.
Yeah, I don't know.
I've always really enjoyed this movie.
That's good.
I don't think it's an intellectual horror film by any stretch.
It thinks it is.
Sure.
It thinks it is.
It thinks it is. I cannot say that you cannot, yes, that is bad. That is bad.
Well, it's trying.
It's shooting for something.
Fine, I gave it a five and a half for trying.
So what are we doing next week?
We're having a guest episode next week, Katie.
Ooh.
We're doing neon maniacs.
I have never seen it, nor heard of it.
Yeah, I hadn't either. My friend Josh will be the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that. that. that's, that that that's, that's, that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. th. th. that that the. the. that the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that either my friend Josh will be the one doing the the guesting on next week's episode
phoning in from Seattle
And the West Coast and he is a huge fan of this movie and as far as I can tell it's just nuts. When is it from?
1988? Okay, and where can people find it? It is on? I want to say it's on Amazon. Oh cool. And it's either on Amazon or Netflix? You know how I? th, th, I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi It is on, I want to say it's on Amazon.
Oh cool.
And it's either on Amazon or Netflix, you know how I am with that.
It's all the internet to you.
It's true.
All right, that's awesome.
Looking forward to it.
Real quick, I want to mention that we are recording that one's sadder to me. Yeah.
He was young.
Yeah.
Also, Ornette Coleman died.
Also, like our Facebook recently and has just been like, everybody's dead.
So let's just stop dying.
Yeah, Mariel and Traylon, trainer from Goonies and Monster Squad and leave the
weapon.
the summer. All right, summer of living, L-A-V-I-N.
What else is going on?
I don't, you know, I've had like kind of a long week.
Pretty tired.
My legs kind of hurt.
Oh, that's soccering.
Oh, God, sports.
Sports are killing me.
Yeah. Quickly, I do want to, uh, as, uh, do you hop on the fuck remakes.
Um, I hear that Dwayne the Rock Johnson wants to remake Big Trouble in Little China.
With himself as Jack Burton.
That's so hard because I love the rock, but I don't think that movie should be touched.
No, much like, uh, also, fuck the remake of Point Break.
I don't give a shit about point Break. Oh, come on, Katie.
It's so lame.
So you could find us on Johnny, Utah.
Is that it?
Yeah.
What?
What?
Oh, God.
I'm like, going to burst a blood vessel on my eye from things being so stupid today. Oh and I also want to mention that we are mentioned in an episode of fright
hype which you can find if you go to Crypt TV's Facebook page. They were really
sweet to give us a little shout out on there. Yeah thanks so much for that.
That was awesome. It was really really sweet so check them out. It's a weekly... Yeah like a roundup. A web episode? Is that a w a th. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. T. T. T. th. T. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. the. the. tha. the. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th check them out that's really interesting. They do like a weekly... Yeah, like a roundup. A web episode? Is that a web episode? Yes. Because
that's a word that feels gross in my mouth. Web episode. Oh I don't like that
that word that the the going's on in like horror for that week. So it was really sweet of them to mention us. So you can find us on Facebook. Yeah I like that guy. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that'ss on in horror for that week. So it was really sweet of them to mention us.
So you can find us on Facebook.
We are Wearwolf Ambulance.
We're on Twitter, Wear Abulance, which we're neglecting the shit out of that.
It's going the way of the tumbler.
It's my fault.
And then we're on Instagram we need we need suggestions. I'm I did mention to Katie earlier that this is
the 40th anniversary of Jaws being released. Yeah. And we figure everyone's going to be
tackling Jaws. So if there's a one of the crappy offshoots of Jaws be it a Jaws sequel or you know like Devil the thi's sequel or you know like the the the thia's.. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi. I did. I thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I is is is is is thi. I is is is thi. I is is is is is is is is is thi. I is is is is is is is is thi. I is is thi. I is thi. I is thi. I is thi. I is thi. I is thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th one of those movies that you want us to do or piranha or piranha three double triple D or whatever the fuck goes out now.
I think I saw that, yeah. So many boobs.
Let us know if you want us to do one of those. I think it'd be fun to cover something like that.
Totally. Especially with my vast fear of the ocean. And thank you everyone who has been mentioning us and talk. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, I thi. So, I thi. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I I th. So, I I I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I thi. So, I thi. So, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm, thi. thi. thi. I think, I think, I thi. thi. I thi. I thi. stuff. Yeah, you guys are killing it. Yeah, you're really beautiful.
Yeah, yeah, every week.
I'm just gonna sing that song.
All right, thanks for listening to another episode of WhereWave Ambulance.
Bye.
Bye.